Am I The Asshole? (Part 5)

fall never arrives all at once first the air then the light and slowly the things you love begin to find each other a jacket meets a dress a hoodie slips beneath a blazer an old cap finds a new scarf because you don't simply step into the season you create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall find fall your way at ross welcome back ladies and gentlemen am i sick absolutely is that gonna stop me from talking about assholes on the internet you bet your ass it's not gonna let's go am i the asshole for telling a lady to put her dog back in the carrier on an airplane ew fucking karen listen if there's dogs on my plane i'm happy i don't give a fuck how small how big as long as they're not those little fucking uh what's the little fucking pomeranians and they're just fucking yapping i hate those little fucks not that i hate them i hate when they yap i had to fly to la this morning on dave and i was like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna delta and had an aisle seat it was a smaller plane with two seats per side no tv or movies on this flight and i wasn't paying for wi-fi so just me and my music 10 minutes into the flight the lady across the aisle was moving around and trying to get in her personal item then she busts out a dog in my head i'm like what the fuck i'm not dog friendly so i tell the lady firmly you better put the dog back in the carrier i would have had my dog latch onto your aorta and rip it to fucking shreds she says it's cramped in the carrier and the dog would rather be in her lap i tell her to put it away and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh this can be a bigger scene for you are you kidding me i'm getting on a no-fly list if i'm falling with this woman are you kidding me you better put that away otherwise it's gonna be a big scene the fuck are you gonna do how about i kick open the exit fucking door and throw you out of it the rest of the fight she would baby talk the dog and call me the asshole i complained to the flight attendants after the flight oh my god dude like chill the fuck out i mean as long as the dog isn't doing anything the dog's not running around taking dumps on people and like pissing in the peanut bowls or whatever the fuck you'll be fine it's a two-hour flight focus on your music close your eyes how about that am i the asshole for asking my sister-in-law to rub sunscreen on my back when i have back acne i have really bad back acne i was going to the beach with my mom my brother and his wife i don't know my sister-in-law very well but she seems very sweet okay what the fuck are we doing here i mean out of the group that we have so far she seems like she's last on the pecking order as far as sunscreening your fucking back like why would you ask her to do that she had offered to rub sunscreen on my mom after she was finished with my mom i asked if she could rub sunscreen on my back she said she was happy to and she did but that evening my brother confronted me he said his wife has many issues including social anxiety he said she has a problem saying no he said she told him how uncomfortable she felt putting sunscreen on my back he told me it was inconsiderate of me to ask someone who is not in health care to touch diseased skin this family sucks as a whole i i will say every part of this i wouldn't have done like if i'm there and i'm fairly new i'm not gonna be like oh my god i'm not gonna do this like hey mom you want me to rub sunscreen on your back i'll let her ask me and then i'll probably do it um also if you see this woman who you barely know rubbing sunscreen on your mom and then you're like hey how about me next what does she work here now like what do you what are you talking about and then for the brother to be like you have diseased skin my guy it's fucking pimples it's fine it's not diseased like it's not leprosy i wouldn't have asked anyone to do any of that this is a very strange family in my opinion am i the asshole for telling a girl she's not coming to the bachelorette because she can't afford it i'm the maid of honor planning an 18 girl bachelorette party holy fuck in january i started the group chat and put down around seven thousand dollars for the airbnb seven thousand dollars for the airbnb does it come with a butler that sucks all your tits or something everyone had until march to pay their 375 share this week i sent the rest of the budget for the party which was 250 due by august 1st i got a text from a girl we'll call a okay clearly ashley she said i just moved into my first apartment and don't have any money beyond the 375 dollars can you just give me my money back and i won't go so i did that recalculated the money owed from everyone and told the group then girl a reached back out and asked if she could come for just one night and asked what would that cost so i told her and re-ran the number and she said i don't have any money for everyone again i don't know that i would have even went this far i don't know about this i mean you're either coming or you're not coming i think if someone's like oh i'll go for one day because that's all i can afford no then the girl told me that it was too much and asked if she can get an extension on her payment an extension on your payment what is this jg wentworth so i wrote back i'm not a bank and not responsible for your finances you can either afford to go or not which is fair that's fair it's fair she said i was being extremely rude and unfair so i told her you're not going because you can't afford it she thinks i'm an asshole and i'm not going am i absolutely not if anything i think that the other girl is an asshole she's not taking anyone else into consideration being like you're in and you're out you being on the trip and not being on the trip changes the price for everybody and we're talking about i mean august that's you know eight months from when you're finding out you need 250 in eight months i'm sorry but you have to you have to be able to save that at least 18 people going to a bachelorette party i am not going like i wouldn't i wouldn't 18 can you imagine 18 dudes at a bachelorette party i'd be like fuck that before we get to the rest of this video we do have a sponsor and that is light strike okay light strike is a hard refresher because it's hard meaning that it has alcohol in it and it's refreshing okay pretty self-explanatory uh but you have to be 21 and up to drink this because like i said it does have alcohol but it is extremely good okay they have lemon lime they have another flavor that i'm not sure what of what it is right now but uh there's 10 percent 10 percent coconut water and they have water there's sea salt in here it's non-carbonated and gluten-free it's amazing especially for a hot day you're out there in the summer sun you're going to want to feel refreshed you don't want to drink you know something else that's not going to make you feel refreshed and also give you a little bit of a buzz so go visit drink light strike.com or go follow them on social media at drink light strike to get yourself some bottles of this because i've had it it's amazing and for whatever reason it's a billion degrees this summer so if you're going to get a little bit of buzz going you might as well be stricken with the light with light strike am i the asshole for shutting someone down when they tried to talk to me at the gym for context i don't talk to anyone at my gym outside of saying hi and bye to the people who work there last week after my workout i walked over to the food carts by my gym to pick up tacos while i was there some guy stopped me and he said he went to the same gym i had never noticed him before but he like insisted on walking with me and was talking with me i was polite and left quickly ever since then he comes up to me at the gym he's always a fist bump i started ignoring it and just nod my head at him but he keeps trying finally today after he came over for a fist bump while i was squatting i said look man i don't want to do this i'm here to work out i'm not here to make friends i don't want to talk to you okay he responded by saying he was just trying to be nice and motivating i know he thinks i'm an asshole i think with more context i'd be able to tell you whether you're being a quote-unquote asshole or not i don't think you're being an asshole i'm like this too if i like had met someone that goes to the gym and then it's like oh my god i'm going to be an asshole i'm going to be an asshole i'm going to be an asshole i'm like god now every time i see them now i have to say hi i have to do this fucking fist bump i gotta talk about this shit and it's like i just you know i don't want responsibility while i'm there i like to put my head down like to get my workout and get the fuck out of there i'm not here for the lollygag you understand so you doing the fist bump thing is just it's pissing me off and it's not that you're a bad guy you know i don't think it doesn't sound like this guy's like hitting on you or being super annoying it's just i just don't want to fist have to fist bump you am i the asshole for wearing a thong bathing suit to my niece's grave graduation party i mean i haven't read it yet but i will say probably didn't need to do that i'm a 47 year old woman i am in very good shape well that explains the fucking the buns out i work out all the time and have a strict diet people say i have the body of a 28 year old my niece had a high school graduation party i love swimming and i ended up wearing a thong bathing suit it's revealing but i am brazilian and it is the type of swimsuit i have always worn all right this changes things because the brazilians that's just what they do it's part of the culture you know what i mean they just have their butts out and you know it is what it is after the party my sister-in-law and niece told me that it was rude for me to wear such a revealing and sexy bathing suit around a bunch of high schoolers when you lay it out like that uh yeah i i will say if you're this woman you know what is gonna happen you know like you know it's a revealing bathing suit and now you're around a bunch of high school i'm assuming boys and girls you know that there's going to be some sort of reaction or some sort of attention that comes from that is it 100% necessary you know this is about your niece we're not trying to take the the attention off of your niece maybe put that big fat butt away for a day my niece said all of her guy friends just kept staring at me and commenting on how hot my body is i told her i was just wearing what i always wear to swim and she told me i made her graduation party very awkward was i wrong i totally get your niece being like thanks my fucking hot ass aunt with her fat ass is parading it around the pool while like all the guys are like oh my god your aunt is so hot like you don't want that not at the party i think that maybe you should have maybe just worn like a you know like you could wear your bathing suit if you want to go swimming it is what it is but when you get out of the water you put on one of those little things just to make sure you're you know not being too revealing and for and like these are high school kids so i think that is a little strange for for you to be doing my the asshole for letting my sister go thirsty through an entire meal what the hell does that even mean my sister does this thing while she'll just say something she wants with the expectation that someone will do it for her for For example, if she wants the AC turned on, instead of asking someone to turn it on for her, she'll keep repeating things like, oh, isn't it super warm in here? Or does anyone else feel really hot? Then if someone asks her if she wants the AC on, she'll be like, no, no, no, I'm good. But if you're hot, then you should turn it on. Oh my god, the manipulation. My dad used to do stuff like this. He'd be like, you want a hot dog? And I'd be like, sure. And he'd be like, all right, make me one too. I'd be like, fuck you. Anyways, last weekend, it was my birthday, so my family and I went out to celebrate. During the meal, she kept making comments implying that she wanted another cocktail but wouldn't order it. The waitress even came by and asked if we needed anything. And she didn't order a drink even when we all did. I could tell she was agitated at that point, but it was my birthday, so I just ignored her. When we all got home, she got really snippy and said it was super rude that we all got our own drinks and didn't order one for her. What the hell is this? My brother and I brought it up that she said no when the waitress asked, but she said that wasn't the issue. That is absolutely the issue. That is the only thing that happens. People walk over, they say, can I take your order? And if you say nothing, that's what you get. You've ordered nothing. And now you get nothing. In her opinion, we should have known to order her a drink, too, because everyone else got one. And the fact that we, quote, let her go thirsty was inconsiderate. How about we let you get a black eye? What is this? And that in the future, we ought to order her drinks, too. She also said she was only saying no to the waitress because her family should have taken care of her. There's no way I'm the asshole here, right? No, you're not the asshole at all. I don't, I've never even heard of someone having this type of behavior where someone's going to be like, would you like a drink? And she's like, no. And the expectation is that the people around her are going to be like, we're going to get her one anyway. In what world does someone ask? It finally feels like fall. Find fall your way at Ross. Giving you a direct question and you answering no result in a yes. How does that happen? Am I the asshole for having sex in my brother's guest bed? Oh my God, guest bed? I don't know what the story is, but as long as you don't leave any evidence around, I think this is totally fine. So myself and my fiance were staying at my brother and his wife's house. We stay there a few times a year. They have a lovely home and we stay a week to hang out with them. And go in their pool and barbecue. It's like a little vacation and we have so much fun. A few days into our stay, my brother pulled me aside and said he was disgusted because he heard me having sex with my fiance when he walked by our door the other night. I told him I'm sorry if we were loud and I didn't think we were. He said that wasn't the point. The point is that it's extremely gross and rude to have sex in someone's guest bed when you're staying with them. Excuse me? I mean, the entire point of a guest bed is so I can sweat and have sex in there. Like, why else do we have. I told him I didn't think that was true. We treat our week at his house like a vacation and it was natural for us to make love during such a nice week. First of all, you put us in a guest room, you put the barbecue on and the pool, you expect us not to fuck each other? He said he would never invite us over again if that's the case. Who is wrong here? He is absolutely wrong, dude. I mean, why are you walking by the guest room in the heat of the night? What do you think's going on in there? People have sex in beds. It just is what it is. When you have a guest room and you have people over you relinquish that portion of the property until they leave. That room, they can do pretty much whatever they want besides destroy the furniture. And that includes fucking on it. And that's it. I mean, they have to clean up after each other, after whatever, you know? Why are people so crazy about that? Like, just pull the sheets off and then you're good to go. They're not like jizzing into the fabric of the mattress. Like, it's not. it's fine. Like, just be an adult, it's totally fine. Don't walk by the room, she's getting pounded. Well, there you have it, folks. Uh, we got some assholes. Some assholes here, some, uh, some good ones for sure. So, uh, don't forget to subscribe and we will see you next time. Bye.