Am I The Ally? | Reading Reddit Stories

Hello and welcome to Smoshreadthreddit Stories. I'm Shane and today is our annual Pride episode. Wooo! Yeah! It's a party. And I'm joined by two lovely people. I'm joined by Chance. Yay! And a good friend of Smosh, Jared Goldstein is here. Hello! Why did you guys ask me to do this one? What? Um, I don't, I don't, it's just we thought that you would enjoy the episode. Oh sure, yeah. So you'd be a fan of that. You just thought, you know, um, Jared, this, this is technically the second red stories that we've done together. Yes. When this is airing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But tomorrow, uh, as of recording this, we're going to be doing Reddit Live. Yes, we are. So we'll see how that goes. But by the time this airs, we'll have known that, they went great. Yeah, yeah. And the audience loved it. Yes, yes. Yeah. And all those prize giveaways. Oh, yes. All the cars. Yes. That we drive into the audience. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going to love it. Um, anyways, is this our fourth Pride episode? Wow. I've been doing this show forever. That's a long time to be doing Pride. [Laughter] I feel like these are, it become like the big, like, episode of the year, I feel like. I don't know. There's a lot of gays on Reddit. I guess so. We're everywhere now. Yeah. Yeah. But we always were. We always were. But mainly on Reddit. Uh, Jared, are you, how familiar with Reddit? Are you? I'm pretty familiar with Reddit. I use it mostly to look at purses. Oh. Very specific. Yeah, that's kind of my main use for Reddit right now. Well, very cool. Well, we're going to be diving into, uh, all sorts of parts of Reddit. But, uh, all of it, having to do with, uh, Pride of some sorts. Uh, I've been informed that some of these stories are your typical Reddit stories. Just might have a couple who's gay in it. Oh. So, I hope there's some straight Pride in here too. [Laughter] The worst prank we ever pulled, we do a Pride episode in there. Oh, that's straight. I just don't acknowledge it. Yes. Just like anyways. All right. Let's hop into our first story here. Uh, our first story comes from today I fucked up and it was posted in September of 2020. And they write, "Today I fucked up by having sex with the father of a woman I dated at a later date." Whoa. Damn. That's like us with this second recording coming for this. Before the live show, yeah, yeah, very similar. They write, "Okay, so yeah, it's messed up. This happened years ago." A few years ago, I met a bisexual dude who was around 25 years older than me. I was 23 at the time. We met through an app similar to Grindr. We meet up, hook up, and that's the end of it. Never met again. Around two weeks or so later, I started dating this 20-year-old girl. Things are going okay, and about three weeks into the relationship, we are walking through a park when she stops me and tells me that her dad is there, and I should meet him. It's a bit soon, sure, but it's not formal or anything, so I agree. Low and behold, her daddy is the dude that was calling me daddy a few weeks back. We both freeze and stare at each other in absolute horror, not knowing what to say. We awkwardly shake hands, and the girl attributes it to nervousness. Two weeks go by, and one day she calls me to meet up. When I get there, she is absolutely fuming, like I can literally see smoke coming out of her ears. She goes off on me about how I could possibly do this to her. I obviously have zero clue what she's on about. She tells me that her dad came clean to her, and her mom about being bisexual and told his daughter, "My girlfriend, to break up with me so he can be with me." Whoa. And apparently it was my fault because I was the one that turned him gay. So she throws a plastic container at me and storms off. Never heard from any of them, again. This is so good. This is so good. So good. Also, I love that. I obviously have no idea what she's so mad about. What even happened, dude? Whoa. This is not the first, this is one of like five stories we've read of like a person hooking up with someone's parents. From the past and not realizing it. Yeah. Yeah, there was a three-some story that was real crazy. DNA is powerful. Yeah, he has a type. Yeah. If the dad had not confessed the daughter, and he's like, "Okay, the dad and I have this secret." Daughter doesn't know. That's a rom-com, but keep going. There's still no world that that relationship can work. You got to break up. You can't. You can't keep harbor that secret. You can't harbor that secret. No, you got to go. No. That's too much. You got to go or, well, the dad already knows. So, yeah. Yeah. And that's like the most extreme version of it. Like, I don't think there's any version of like if you dated someone's sibling and then you dated it. Like, that would be tough. Like, there's no, there's just, it's like, "I got you too much." Yeah. Got a bounce. But then it's like, can you figure it out? I just imagine every holiday. Yeah, so awkward. Every birthday dinner. Yeah. You're just sitting across from that guy you hooked up with. Oh. With that girl, you're okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's like, you can't. No. I thought it is kind of, it is a little hot, like just as like a thought experiment. Sure. Like, I'm thinking, I keep like kind of thinking going like, "Well, this sounds cool." But it's a bad thing. The idea of it, I could see if you'll be like, "Yeah." It is a play, but in real life. Yeah, no. Yeah, no, no. There's also the fact that the dad is married. Okay. So, it's an affair. But also that the dad confesses and then says, "Hey, you need to break up with him so that I can be weird." Yeah, no. Damn. The dad wants the daughter to break up. This dad is like, 25 years is a lot of years. A lot of years. That's a lot of years. He's 23 and the dad is 48 or 50, yeah. Or 48, yeah. Yeah, 48. Yeah, 48. And just roughly around that age. So, that's a big, there's a lot. There's a lot of layers to this. Yeah. And then you add on top, of course, that the daughter is saying like that he made him gay. Yeah. So, you know, and I understand she's in a very heated moment. But still, it's just like, "Hey, and don't throw plastic containers at people." You know, even if you're a plastic. And even if you have to. Even if someone has sex with your dad, come on, don't throw a plastic container at home. Don't do that. We've got some comments here. Someone said, "This sounds like a plot to a porn movie without the happy ending." I mean, it's almost euphoria. I was going to say, this made me think of euphoria. Oh. Because, yeah, that's-- It's close. Yeah. Hunter Shafer's character. Yeah. Yeah, I remember that scene. Yeah. Yeah. They're like a carnival, right? Yeah. And when they meet, and he's just like, "Hey." Yeah. All right. Yes. Oh, yeah. This is just euphoria. Someone said, "Biggest oof is him telling your girlfriend to break up with you so he could be with you." That's on him, not you. He had stuff to work through for sure. Rough luck. Try not to think of yourself as a home record because none of this is on you. Lastly, someone said, "The horrors. Hopefully you don't have recurring nightmares from this horrific experience." Best of luck, OP. Hopefully, Daddy doesn't come looking for more action from you. Must have been good if you wanted to leave his family for you. Bright side thoughts. Sure. Sure. Honestly, a glowing review. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Truly, you got it. At least you walk away feeling pretty good about yourself. Yeah. But get as far away as possible. That's something to be proud of this, June. True. [ Laughter ] Yeah. All right. The crazy story. Not, I don't know much else to say. It's just like, what else do you say? Okay, it was me. I didn't want to say how we got it. Jared, we brought you here because you know. You got him. Our next story comes from "Am I the asshole?" This was posted in March of 2020. They write, "Am I the asshole for not telling a bunch of random women I'm gay?" Oh. So I, a 23-year-old man, turning 24 soon, am gay. I've been out since I was 18 and I've never hidden it. But I don't like actively mentioning it or broadcasting it because it's literally nobody's business. The first person I came out to was my dad, who's 40, and he has always been supportive of me. He was 16 when I was born and practically raised me as a single dad so we have an exceptionally close relationship. Anyway, on to the story. My dad recently turned 40, only earlier this month. He had a huge party and drank a bit too much and was severely hung over the following morning. He's a freelance photographer and had accepted a contract with a local business and was meant to hand in some photography work he'd done for them the morning after his birthday. He was too hung over to do so, so he asked if I'd do it. He called their office to tell them he was sending his son with the work and I went in. Everything was fine and I ended up meeting a bunch of people he's currently working with. They knew I was my dad's son as he talks about me with them. I had some conversation with them to be nice and a few of the younger women started flirting with me. A few of them called me attractive and stuff like that and I kind of just stood there awkwardly. It was just while that straight woman were hitting on me. I didn't encourage it or anything but I didn't say anything as I was too embarrassed and I eventually said I had to run off and off I went. My dad went in the day after and he was questioned about if I was single. He said no, I wasn't and that I had a boyfriend and that was all he said. Well, turns out these women then started blatantly calling me an asshole as I apparently let them embarrass themselves by openly hitting on me when there was no chance I'd ever be interested. My dad did fight in my corner. and said that I was literally there to just drop off his work and that I had no obligation to disclose I was gay. I'm thankful my dad's on my side, but these women calling me an asshole kind of makes me feel bad for not saying anything. Am I the asshole? Who are these women? - Damn. - What is hell? - I got me one. - I got me one. I was, I got, I was mad, I was mad. - Wow, he walks in there and they're just like, they're like, woo, yeah, they must be. - They're here. - They're here. They're like, you're not interested in us? - Yeah. - What the fuck? - You fucking monster. - Yeah. - It's like, so if you had a girlfriend, it would have been no different. - Yeah. I think that he is the asshole because if it's March of 2020, you shouldn't be going into the office. - You're right, this is like 10 days after-- - Yes, you should be social distancing. - Yeah, get away from him. - You crazy. Don't tell anyone anything. - Regardless of orientation, you stay away. - Yeah. - That is so funny. - But you definitely can definitely get hit on and you don't have to disclose your sexuality. - No. - No. - Wait, can I tell a story about the time the hottest girl ever hit on me? - Of course you can tell a story. - Okay, so the hottest girl ever hit on me. And then she asked me outright if I was gay. And in a panic, I said no. - Okay. - I lied, I said no. And then I ran away. And then I ran to my friend and I was like, this beautiful girl is hitting on me. And she asked me if I was gay and I told her that I wasn't. And then my friend was like, why did you do that? And I was like, I don't know. I just, just give me a minute. I think I can figure this out. (laughing) - I can figure it out of stock. - I have to be straight. Like, you don't say no to this woman. She's gorgeous. - So that it is a spectrum. And you did say this woman was hot. So there could be a part of you where it's like, if I say yes right now, it's shutting down this window. She's asking 'cause she's like, are you interested in me? She should have said something else. Not are you gay, but it sounds like you were in fact. - That's really interesting. Yeah, that she blatantly flirted with you and then was like, all right, so by the way, is this, is this it? - I know, she can kind of tell. She can tell. - Yeah. - Hello. - She could tell. But basically, I kind of, I hid from her for the rest of the night. We had exchanged information. We did ultimately become friends. And then about a month later, I had to tell her, hey, I'm gay. I've been openly gay for a while. I was just really flattered that you were interested in me. And when you asked me if I was gay, I lied. And we're still friends to this day. - What did she say to that? - She just got married. What did she say? - She was really flattered. We had a good laugh about it. - Okay. - Yeah. - Okay. So was she hitting on you with the purpose of wanting to date her? Was she just like, this is flirty? - She wanted to marry me. - Fuck this. She wanted all of this. - Damn. - Yeah, yeah. - Damn. - Well, hey, it's a compliment. - Yeah, yeah. It was flattering for both of us, I think. Actually Courtney just sent me a tiktok that were like, gay men are still men. And it's like a woman with her two gay friends. - She showed me that. - And they're really hot. And she's just like, watching them on the beach, like wrestling stuff. They're like carrying her down the mountain a little bit. - Yeah. - Isn't there a sex in the city episode about how like gay men are like the hottest men? And they're just like, oh, why are they all that? - Yeah. Anyways. But it's also like, we can still be the objects of women's desires. - Sure. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I mean, we are still men. - Yeah, for sure. - And he did not have to tell those ladies. He's kidding. - No, he didn't have to tell them. - At his dad's office. - 'Cause it's a compliment. - It might have been inappropriate. - Yes, super inappropriate. - There's many layers. It's a professional capacity. - Yeah. - It's like, it's a professional capacity. Like, he's like, hey, I'm here for business. - Yeah. - I don't have to tell you shit. - Yeah. - Stop flirting with me. That's unprofessional. - Imagine going to your dad's office and being like, so I'm gay, everybody. - Yeah. - Right. - Hey. - Right. - Come get me. (laughing) - You run away with the photos. So like, we gotta get those. - Oh my God. Your dad's at a photocopy. You're like, can you please go home? (laughing) - Please stop. - The dad also sounds chill. - Dad sounds chill as hell. - Yeah. - The verdict was not the asshole. Comments, not the asshole. It's none of their business, really. If they're embarrassed that they hit on a stranger, maybe they shouldn't hit on strangers. Oh, he said, it's just wild to me that they did this in their place of work. I was only there to drop off my dad's work. Someone said, not the asshole. Your sexuality is nobody else's business unless you choose to share the information they made themselves feel foolish. Oh, he said, I was more baffled that straight women were hitting on me. That has not happened to me in years. Lastly, someone said, not the asshole. Also kind of hard to seamlessly work in the fact that you're gay when doing so would require calling them out on their flirting, which they might end up denying and making you look like an asshole. Fair. See, I don't really have much like frame of reference. In my perspective, I feel like I've never been hit on in my life, right? Like, I don't, but I think that I'm a bad read of it probably, 'cause then there's time. We're like, no, no, no, you've never been. (laughing) No, you did it. You're good at it. You definitely have been. No, definitely, definitely never happened. But then Courtney and I will be walking and she'll be like, she'll be like, that person checked you out and I'll be like, really? Like, second, she'll be like, stop, stop, that's fair. (laughing) You're probably gonna stop that. That's fair. Wow, pretty cool. Yeah. No, I think I'm just, I just know I'm a bad read of it. So I could see why if I thought or like I'm like, or I would just be like, oh no, they're just nice. Yeah. Just kind or whatever. Totally. And see, in my delusional brain, I'm like, they're hitting on me and they're not hitting on me. I feel like there's definitely been times a similar story where women are like hitting on you. Oh, yeah. But do you disclose, or do you just are like, you're just like, hey, I think I'll disclose in a way that's not like, I'm gay, it'll be like. Yes! (laughing) Yeah. I'm like, oh my god, this is so funny. But let me see. Let me see. (laughing) And then they cry, they're like, damn. I like, damn. Shit. But I definitely went through a phase in Chicago where I would definitely entertain women as well. Okay. Yeah, after I was out and things. Okay, cool. Okay, cool. Okay. But then sometimes they'd be like, you're gay. And I'd be like, I mean, yes, kind of, yes. You're allowed to do it. Tee. Tee. But then it's like, yeah, that's such a shut down for so many people, too. It's like, maybe less so now, but especially, um, I was just seeing on Twitter. It was like, there's like a whole group of women who don't want their men to be any type of gay at all. It's a big turn off for them. Yeah. But it's interesting, too, 'cause I feel like men straight men aren't usually like, ew, women who like other women, gross. Yeah. I'm not attracted to that. In fact, it's the opposite. Yeah. They're like, yeah, make out right now. There was like, what? Steve, no. I know there's that episode of, um, what's that show, the HBO show. I'm not your mother. Yeah. The other two. There was an, uh, no, it wasn't girls with similar to that. It was the show where, um, she has a friend who like is dating this guy. And then he's like, hey, I have something to tell you. Like, I hooked up with a guy once and whatever. And then she like can't. Yes, that's exactly what I'm talking about. And there's just kind of like, I remember watching that and just being like, oh, that's, that's so interesting. 'Cause I like, what, why? Yeah. You know, but it's just the things that are fucking great. I think that's why it makes it so scary for so many street men to come out, too. Totally. They're like, well, that's why I like, probably why bisexual men are so like, yeah, socks. So if you're gonna come out, you gotta do it now. I'm asking. (audience laughing) Our next story comes from Am I the asshole posted in 2022. Am I the asshole for not reacting right to a colleague telling me he is gay? Mm, okay, okay. I feel like I could be in the wrong here, even if I don't understand why. To be honest, there have been incidents in the past where I have unwittingly been rude without intending to. And there are some social norms that escape my understanding, which is why I would appreciate some impartial unbiased input and impostering here. One of my colleagues, H, technically I am his boss, not sure if that matters. - H stands for Homo. (laughing) - Came into my office today. I have an open door policy to encourage team members to come forward and share their ideas. So this was not that unusual. H came into my office and said, I am gay. - Okay. - I thought he was going to say something else, so I waited for him to continue. (laughing) 10 minutes goes by. After a moment, I made a sound of a scent to make it clear I heard him, but he still didn't say anything. Since he was staring at me, I assumed he was trying to convey something I wasn't understanding. Here's where I might have messed up. The first thing I asked, my friends specifically scolded me because this was the first thing I said, was if he had any insights in marketing to that demographic, we work in a marketing firm. He said he didn't. I asked him if he was getting married and needed time off. This too, I have been informed was an assholeish response. He said he wasn't married. I finally said that if he had nothing else, he wanted to discuss. He should leave as I had a meeting starting in a few minutes and needed the office. He left. Shortly afterwards, a mutual friend scolded me and said I was a right asshole for the way I responded to age. Am I the asshole for how I responded? If so, could you please explain what I did wrong, what should have been the right response, and how I can fix this? Why do I feel like he's summarizing what the guy actually said? You think the guy went on like a, like, "Hey, I just called buddy." Yeah, that. And I need to tell you something. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. There's a lot of fluff. There's a lot of fluff there. But he's saying that the guy walks in just, I'm gay. Yeah. And then kind of-- (audience laughing) - I'm picturing the meme of the person going, (audience laughing) - You know I'm talking about, they're like staring at each other? - Maybe, I probably know, I probably, I probably, you know what I mean, right? - I know memes so well. I think the guy, I think OP was just trying to like not make a big deal out of it. - Oh, people was just like, which is best case scenario for me personally. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Do we think that this, I'm curious how out this guy was at the time. - Yeah. - Is this like, is this the first person he's telling, is there reason he's telling, is this his boss? - He said, he said, yeah, OP is this guy's boss? - He's a boss. - Technically I am his boss, not sure if that matters. I think it does matter. - It matters for sure. - It absolutely does matter because it's like a boss, you can't like, you gotta be careful with how he's talking to this person. I could also feel like, maybe this is just from working here at Smosh. I'm like, I don't know who's gay and who isn't. Like, I don't know, someone might be out for so long but they're just like, I'm just not gay. - I just wanna say that. - Yeah, for sure. I'm also not gay. - We know that. - We're not gay, yeah. - We know that. But he might just be like, oh, yeah, like, okay, like he's just taking it on as, I do love the initial like, so how can we apply this? - Yes. - Is this my business asset? - So how do we make money off? - He's like being a stage mom? - Yeah. - We need to capitalize off this, okay, good stuff. I like also like, are you getting married? - Yeah. - That's sweet. - That's kind of sweet? - Yeah. - Yeah, like, oh, you're gay and you've also, you're doing well. - You guys are like, no, and someone loves you. - So, what are we doing here? - Ah, okay. - He's like, are you proposing to me? - Yeah, what would you do in this situation? - Let's John Cunion is this. - Well, if someone says, I'm gay to me, like, I'm like, I know. (laughing) Now what, like, yeah, yeah, I know that. - Yes. - So, okay, so what if someone came up to you and said, what if your employee came up to you and he said, I'm straight? - I'd be like, no, you're not. (laughing) - Sure. - You're like, are you getting married? (laughing) - And how can I make money on this? - Yeah. - So, I guess maybe the response that people were thinking he would say is just like, oh, that's great. Cool. - Yeah. - Nice, I support you and as your boss, you're good, like, everything's good. - Everything's good. - That's so strange. - Well, there's no, like, when you're like, not expecting that. - No, totally. - What do you do? - Yeah, let it, what do you say? - The verdict is not the asshole. - No, I don't think so either. - Comments, not the asshole. Isn't this sort of the long-term goal for when someone comes out for it not to be a thing and just business as usual? - Yeah. - Someone else said, I can even understand the, this is a big deal for me. Can I get a little bit bigger reaction, please? Feeling when coming out to family, but your boss? Not the asshole, I'm not a supervisor of anyone, but if I were, I would have no idea how to respond to an employee coming out to me with no other reason, like reporting harassment. Asking about marketing is a total foot and mouth moment, but that's what happens during those deer in the headlights moments. Lastly, someone said, thank you for trusting me enough to confide in me as your boss. Is there something that you need from me besides my support? That is what OP needed to say. - That's too damn much. - I'm sorry, that is a lot. - Yeah, acknowledge what he was just told and figure out if there was a work related reason he was being told. That is like the text book's perfect response, but I understand that some people like thrown for a loop, don't, he didn't say anything wrong. He just also didn't give the text book's, text book HR response. - Yeah, sure. - Is there some very empathic commenters? - Oh yeah. But the problem is, when you're reading a Reddit story, you get time to think about it. Whereas when you're presented in the moment, you gotta, you gotta go on the fly. - Yeah, you have a gay guy staring you down in your office. (all laughing) - I'm like, what do I do? - There's no escape. - You get up and run, you're like calculating, can I make it to the door in time or not? - Start sweating, he jumps out the window. - He presses a button, I'm gay. - Oh, that's great, and he ejects himself out of the building. And the gay guy's like, damn, and I'll get him next time. We have an update. - He's not gay. They're both gay. - Oh my god. - The boss is gay. - One year later. Okay, oh, Jane, you can't read it ahead. (all laughing) What do we think? - You have to read it out loud. - What do we think? What do you think? - I mean, you had a crush on it. - You have no info. - Oh, that's a good, that's I like that. - Whoa, so he was hitting on it. - He was, oh, okay. - Whoa. - It's a good guess. - 'Cause then he goes, I'm gay and he's like me too. - Oh. - And I made the pillow into a diamond, so that's the real update. - That's really moldable. - Yeah, I didn't know, and now I'm really excited to fidget with it. (all laughing) - This is fun. I never really thought I would ever post an update, but I wanted to share the good news. Nearly a year after my junior colleague, H, unexpectedly came out to me at work. He's become engaged to my brother. - Oh! - At the advice of this forum, I had a follow-up conversation with H to ensure that he was not facing any type of harassment or discrimination. - Oh my gosh. - Oh my gosh. - And we have the opposite reaction. (all laughing) - I had a follow-up conversation with H to ensure that he was not facing any type of harassment or discrimination. And to try to understand what prompted his exclamation, it fortunately was nothing major. A month later, my parents finally got the courage to ask Jay, my father's assistant, about adoption. My parents had met Jay several years ago when he was huddling by the side of the road. He had aged out of the foster system, but due to lack of support, he could not get a job and was homeless. My parents had invited him to spend the night, and he has been working as my father's assistant ever since. Jay has been like a second son to my parents for a long time. And after a late night conversation, when Jay opened up to how alone he sometimes felt because he had no family, my parents asked him how he would feel about adult adoption. I wasn't there when they asked him, but at the family dinner afterwards, it was very emotional and long overdue. However, as the days went on, Jay seemed to get more and more anxious and seem to withdraw from us. Nearly a month later, he told us in a shaking voice that he couldn't go through with the adoption because he had been deceiving us. He was gay. Now throughout all his time with my family, Jay had never dated. We all assumed he was just shy or uninterested, so it was heartbreaking to hear that he felt he needed to censor himself, and that he thought we would leave him if we knew the truth. It was a painful conversation, but ended happily. And the next day, Jay went with my parents to file the paperwork. At that time, my siblings and I were wondering how we could show Jay he had nothing to worry about when I remembered H and asked him if I could share his email with Jay. I had been thinking that it would be good for Jay to have a friend who was out. I never imagined they would start dating and become engaged. - Wow. - Well, that's really sweet. I did have the thought when his brother came out to him, he was like, I'm gay, he was like, so do you have any marketing skills? - Yeah. (laughing) - I think would be good. That's also really funny, just like, I know another gay guy. - Yeah. - I give you his email and he's like, for sure, and then they got married. - That's wild. - Wow. - It's pretty funny. - Did a good job. - Yeah. - Wow. He's better than growing. - 'Cause I'll say a lot of people that used to be a thing, it was like maybe like a while ago. But when I used to talk about being gay with people, they'd be like, oh my god, you need to meet my friend. And the friend would be like, so not for me. Like, we were not a match at all, but the only two gay people that person knew in their life. They're like, I had the perfect guy for you. (laughing) - Oh, what is he like? Well, he's gay. (laughing) - End of list. (laughing) - Oh my god. - But it sounds like he did a good job. - He did a great job. I mean, he didn't intend to, he was trying to set him up. He was just like, oh, like. - Sure. - He'll help you out. You feel alone, so sure. - That happened to me in college, and it was like probably a year after I came out, and it had never occurred to me that anyone in the world would ever come out to me. - Yeah. - You know? - Wow. - I was like, oh, it was cool. - It's awesome. - Yeah. I felt like a guy who would do what was your approach. - Like, you kind of just like get to like say everything that you either liked when someone said to you, or just hoped that someone said to you, and then you just get to like do it for it. It's very cool. And then later in life, another friend of mine came out to me, and it was fantastic. 'Cause you get to tell people the thing you needed to hear. And it's amazing. Come out to me. - You're in the closet, come out to me. - I have so much good stuff to say to you. If you want to. - You have a billboard next to the highway. Just like call Jerry. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Personally. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That's really cool. I think that's such an honor to be someone that thinks someone trusted you that much. - Yeah, like it's a really cool thing. But I understand in a workplace, and as a boss, you're trying to like, like, okay, let me navigate. - Especially at work. - Yeah. - Going into their office. - Yeah. - Damn. - What if that guy, he clearly is like prophetic. Like he's like, "I need to come out to my boss so that he hooks me up with you, your brother." - Smart. - Yeah, sure. - Nice. - So he does have marketing strategies. - Yeah, I'm the strategy. - Marketing. - Yeah. - Our next story. This comes from Am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for not telling the nurse at my niece's school about my profession? - Say no more. - My niece is nice nurse. - Yeah, I'm that. - I, a 29 year old woman, was supposed to pick up my niece Sophie, who's seven, from elementary school and spend a day with her. It was all mentioned before to the school and I've picked her up a few times before. Sophie was running towards me, but she tripped and fell down. Her knee was bruised and she started crying like crazy. I took her to the nurse's office immediately. The nurse was in her early 20s and helped Sophie with cleaning up her wound and dressing. I tell my niece a lot about my line of work, so she asked me if she was going to need stitches, if so, how many and what kind, et cetera. The nurse was impressed. She showed Sophie a few items of equipment she had and asked if Sophie wanted to be a nurse like her. Sophie said no. She wanted to be a doctor like her aunt, aka me. The nurse got a bit upset and asked me why I didn't say anything about this. I was honestly confused. I was like, why would I need to even mention it? I even threw in a compliment saying she was quite good at her job and I enjoyed witnessing a professional at work. She said I was being too generous with my comments. I told her I was being honest and thanked her for taking care of Sophie's knee. Right when Sophie and I were leaving, she said she'd never be able to guess my line of work correctly because I look better than most of my colleagues. I thanked her again and said I appreciated her help. She said I still owed her for not telling her my job and that it felt like I was testing her or deliberately trying to see how she was doing. I apologized and said that's not what I meant and that I knew she was more than capable of doing her job well. She said maybe I could find a way to make it up to her properly and I was like, sure, but Sophie and I need to go now. I don't know if I was rude, but this had me thinking. Should I have told her about my job? I love this person wrote this all out and didn't see the signs. Also which one's gay? Who's the gay one? (laughing) Oh my God. That's like to write that out and just be like, yeah, anyways. And then the next watch, if there's an update, it's like, so we went on like five dates, but I don't know if she's gay, but anyway, we're figuring it out. We only have, we have a couple comments. Someone said, "Ele while she's flirting hard "and you're oblivious." Oh, he said, "I can certainly see it now. "Honestly, this is embarrassing." Someone said, you know what, you're right, you're right. This is, you know, going back to the previous story, this is a really valid time where it's just like, no, you should just say, I'm gay, just say that times, just in case. I'm the gay nurse. (laughing) It's me. Hi, I'm your nieces gay nurse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I work at the school, I'm gay. (laughing) Someone said, "Poor Sophie is going to have to take one "for the team and go down so you can meet the nurse again." Oh, that's cute. He keeps getting hurt. The nurse is like, "Hey, can you get injured again?" Yeah. Someone said, "Ello, well, you can maybe send her flowers "as a thank you for Sophie's knee and see how that goes "if you really want to take her out for a date." Oh, that's good. She said she'd never be able to guess my line of work correctly because I looked better than most of my colleagues. Like, "Wow, well, you're pretty hot for a doctor." Yeah. Those doctors are gross. Yeah. You're hot. I do think that I owed her for not telling my job and that it felt like I was, to be like, "Oh, you owe me." That feels like very flirty. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would pick up on that. I'm bad at picking up on the word. I know, yeah. Although honestly, I kind of didn't pick up on it reading. Just listening. Really? And I'm hearing it now and it's all very clear, but I think we're reading it with the context of like, "It's an M.I.D. asshole pose." Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, she pissed her off. But like, here, like putting those words aside and then picturing the context, I'm like, "No." This feels like this was a lie. I'll also say, there are angry flirters. People who like-- Totally. They're madness or like, when they kind of like bite at you, is them flirting? Like, they're actually mean. It's like very elementary. Yeah. I do recall-- I think there was a time. I think there was a case. Yes. I'm not lying here. Where talking to this girl from like, that I had known back in elementary middle school, she was like, "Oh, I thought you were cute." And I was like, "You were an asshole to me." And I was like, "Oh, that's what it was." That's also like prime sarcasm, era. Like, no, we wouldn't do that. Like, the odds were just sarcasm, too. Yeah. So it's like, if you like someone, it's like, I got to show you I'm the most sarcastic person in the world. And it's like, "Oh, so you just hate me?" Yeah. But that seems like this person's maybe a little sarcastic, a little bit like, yeah. Update. Ooh. First of all, thanks for your lovely comments on my original post. I appreciate every single one. And I would like to thank everyone who took the time to give their input on the situation. As you could see in the original post, I was absolutely clueless during the whole interaction and missed the flirting part altogether. So I took your advice, asked my sister to let me babysit Sophia again and picture up from school. Around 10 minutes before school was over, I went to the nurse's office with a bouquet of flowers and thanked the nurse for taking care of my niece's knee and asked her if I had the opportunity to make up for my rudeness from the last visit. Thankfully, she agreed. We went on a date last night. It included a late evening walk by the beach and dinner. By the end of the night, I showed her the post and I think it is safe to say she was as amused as every single one of the commenters and she can barely stop teasing me about it. So overall, thank you so much for your comments and help. Well, she came out to her as a redditor. Yeah. That's really reasonable. That's pride. And that's pride. OK, the last time the OP has updated her Reddit account, they've been dating for seven months. Oh my god, love is real. That was two years ago, but that's the last time we got an update. But maybe she's like seven months alone. You know what, we're together, we're happy. I'm going to stop getting on Reddit. And that's growth. Wow. That's beautiful. So wow. Damn, so not the asshole, not the asshole. No, in fact, just a little bit oblivious. Just stupid as fuck. Just a dumb ass. OK, wait. Her niece is like, dude, why are you so stupid? Yeah, see that? She's gushing blood from her niece. [LAUGHTER] OK, our next story. Let's do it. Comes from the subreddit rant. This was posted in 2022. They write, have to get a paternity test done to prove I'm not the dad of my friend's baby, even though I'm gay. I don't know whether to laugh or cry over this entire situation that's unfolded in the past six weeks. I, a 23-year-old man, have a coworker, Robert, who I've been friends with for four years, pretty much since I started working at the factory I'm still in. Robert, who's 32, just had his first daughter, Chelsea, who's two months old, after four boys. The boys are dang near carbon copies of him. Bleach, blonde, straight hair, freckled skin. And I swear to God, they were just born with tans. His high school sweetheart, wife Danielle, who's 32, is a tight-curled redhead with freckles for days and burns like there's no tomorrow. Their daughter from the jump had a full head of red hair that's already starting to curl. When I got to meet her, she was two weeks old. I gasped, a fellow redhead myself here with long curly red hair and said something along the lines of, oh my God, it finally happened. The red is alive, just being dramatic and funny. Robert goes, yeah, don't bank on that staying. My jeans are strong, after all. Danielle rolled her eyes and I shrugged it off as a weird joke at first, but the entire time I was there, he pretty much kept going on about how his jeans would prevail. Jump forward, Chelsea is now five weeks old. For three weeks, every single day, Robert would be complaining about how little of himself he sees in his daughter, how much of a stranger she is for it. That's some days he thinks he's looking at another person's baby. He only ever seemed to want to complain to me about it as it was. After the fifth day in a row, I started trying to explain how genetics work, pretty much saying jeans aren't going to always drastically go one way. Three days ago, Robert came into work just itching for an argument with everyone. Our mutual friend Jesse asked him what his deal was on our break after he shouted at another friend for asking a work-related question. He blew up saying he knows Chelsea isn't his, that his cheating whore of a wife just won't admit it, and he knows exactly who she was fucking around with. He then looks over at me and points at me and yells at me to get my ass outside. I asked why, and he starts screaming he's not stupid. He knows I've been trying to kiss ass to avoid his beat down. I'm gay, I have a male fiance. I have pride stickers all over my car. Outside of work, I am a parrot of colorfulness. I just couldn't help but laugh at him. It was just so bizarre, and I know I wasn't the only one looking at him like he was insane either. I told him Chelsea is literally half of Danielle's genetics, that Danielle isn't a fucking incubator for his genetics, and asked him why he was so obsessed with their kids needing to look exactly like him. What's the point of that? He wouldn't answer and just kept telling me to get up before he dragged me out to the parking lot. I told him I'm not going to fight him on something this ridiculous, and asked him if he was trying to get fired. He starts demanding I take a paternity test, and again, I asked him if he was completely serious. He said he was because I spend so much time with Danielle. He's not necessarily wrong, but she's a part of the girlfriend group I'm part of. There's five of us in total. We do artsy stuff, trying new places, just hang out, and do whatever but never stuff like that. I told him to go take a paternity test for himself. He argued that he's not paying for a test he knows the truth to. I told him I'm not paying for a paternity test and then asked which red head in the factory he was gonna accuse next. The exchange ended when our shift manager came in for a break. I texted Danielle and told her exactly what happened. The next day was my day off. So my phone was on silent and I slept in. Woke up to Elliot, my partner, getting off the phone and telling me I should check my phone. I had been bombarded with dozens of messages and missed calls slash threatening voicemails from Robert because Danielle had kicked him out. He decided to get Elliot's number out of Danielle's phone to tell him his version of events. I'd already told Elliot the night before so he was just baffled how certain Robert was. Danielle did texting a few times, apologizing on his behalf and then updating me. They were getting a paternity test slash she's filing for divorce that she has no idea why he thinks such a thing. My partner thinks it's hilariously sad Robert destroyed his marriage like this. This morning while getting ready for work, Robert texted me saying he has the money and when the test comes back with the truth, he'd f me up in court for what I've done. How I've ruined not only his life but his kids' lives and everyone in their family's lives too. Elliot really has gone around telling everyone I'm the dad. I agreed to the test and told him he may as well quit his job and just vanish after this because it's gonna be real embarrassing when I walk in with the paperwork and wave it around saying I'm not the daddy to his red-headed child and he has to explain to everyone including his own children what an absolute idiot he is. Our friends have been giving me the cold shoulder all day pretty much saying yeah they don't think I'm the dad for sure but I'm a trash friend for going straight to his wife and getting him thrown out of his own house and being forced to sleep in his truck and that I should have just agreed to the paternity test to begin with instead of stirring up drama and getting unnecessary people involved. It's one thing if he decided he wanted one for himself but he expected me not only to get one but pay my own way and just not say anything but yeah I'm the trash friend and trash person I guess. Robert's family is doing nothing but slandering Danielle and I'm being mocked for having the reverse version of a beard like when a man uses a woman as a cover so people don't know he's actually gay and it's causing issues now with Elliot's family because their logic is well they wouldn't be so sure if there wasn't proof my family is 100% with me and knows I absolutely have zero interest in women even if I did I'm not a cheater. - Woo! - Wow. - It's a doozy. - What is going on? - I love the idea of ending that with M.I.V. asshole. It's like yeah so this guy threatened to beat me up and I didn't do anything. - Did I do something wrong? - It must suck to be that kind of stupid. - Yeah. - You know? - I need to know what's going on in the marriage. - Yeah. - What is going on? - Yeah but like sometimes people are stupid in a way that's like kind of joyful and like awesome. Like you don't know stuff so you're kind of like oblivious. - Why are you like me when you said that? - No I'm just, I'm just looking at the stuff right now. I just met you but look but this guy's stupid in a way that's causing him torment. - Yeah. - He doesn't understand genetics so he really is just sort of a punnet square bitch. - I'm sorry. - But also this guy is an absolute asshole for thinking that only saying his genetics will prevail. - This is such a crazy move. - Enough to really be like, "I need to get away from this guy." - You're like a super vet. - You are literally a villain. - I'm built. - Sounds like he sounds like Sauron or some shit. - Yeah. - OP definitely has bad friends as well. - There is like also like a really scary straight type of narcissism that like makes the leap that someone around you might be pretending they're gay to hurt you. - It's like have you ever experienced anything like that? - No. Like I think maybe it's happened to me once where a friend's boyfriend maybe doubted that I was gay like with my closeness to his girlfriend. - And it's like I don't know how else to, it really just, it really makes you stop and think. - I just had a memory come back of in middle school during gym class, I would like hang out with the girls and we'd be doing like cartwheels and stuff and be like doing dances and shit. And I remember the guys you just always like watch me and be like, he's doing it again, he's doing it again. And then they like bring me over and they'd be like, you're so smart bro, you're so smart. Pretending to be gay so you can like do cartwheels and hang out with the girls like that and I'd be like, yeah, pretend to be gay. Wait, what? But that seems like a fun dumb person. - Do you know what I mean? - Yeah. - Like he's like, oh, he's like, oh, he's so smart. - Like that's a good dumb. - Yeah, you can get to do sleepovers and they spend the night at your house and stuff and be like, yeah, yeah, what, why is that? - Yeah, it's a type of stupid, but it's a combo of stupid and insecure. - Yeah. - And it's really dangerous or like truly. But a lot of guys are just so incapable of like, I don't know, they're just so insecure that any guy around their wife, it's like you're trying to sleep with my wife. - Yeah. - And then they just can't, then they also are like, it's just kind of a combo of homophobia and sexism and all this stuff too. - Yeah. - It's like his wife has no agency. - Yeah, yeah. - He's not talking about his wife. It's all like, oh, his wife had like, what is she feeling about in this situation? - If he did call her or-- - He'd call her, yes, yes. The sexism comes out very blatantly then. But yeah, no, this guy is awful. Comments, everyone is trashed except you, your fiance, and Danielle. Do you live in trashville? - I'd take precautions in the sense that you may need to get the authorities involved if he's going to go nuclear. At the very least, I would have touched base with your company's HR unless that doesn't exist. Someone said to that, this, this guy could easily try and get you fired because when your test comes back negative, he will be very embarrassed and might act even worse than he already has. If the company doesn't know what is going on, his behavior could get you him or both of you fired. Protect yourself, OP. If the company doesn't have an HR department, you go to your manager and/or the person who runs the business. If it's not one of them, they can tell you who it is. There's always somebody responsible for handling these issues, even if there is no official HR. - I'm sorry, it's so crazy that this is co-worker too. - Yeah, no, this is a work in a factory. They work in a factory, but they're also, he's also part of the friend group of his wives. Like, there's a very interconnected ecosystem. Someone said, what the fuck is wrong with them? Dude was trying to street fight you and basically ruin your relationship, but you're trashed for telling your friends something that definitely would have gotten back to her. He was calling her a whore and smearing her name, just disrespecting their vows and entire marriage. Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with him? Why wouldn't he want a mini version of his wife when he has so many of himself? My siblings look exactly like my mom and I look different, but no one accused my mom of sleeping around, especially since I resembled my dad's great aunt. Dude just doesn't understand genetics and I hope he takes a test for himself. Otherwise, he'll ride around town looking for more redheads. Ooh, lastly, someone said, I wouldn't worry too much. Everyone's just feeling bad for the guy 'cause his life has been uprooted, but he did that to himself. His poor wife, though, five kids, including a newborn and this guy freaks out 'cause the daughter looks like her mom instead of him, what a fucking waste of oxygen. Good for her for finally standing up for herself. - Whoa. - I can't wait to try to win an argument by being like, I have pride stickers all over my car. - Yeah. And he's like, those are just a trick. - Yeah. - Get to my wife. - Anyways, moving on to our final story. I think this one's gonna be a little bit of a different tone. This comes from today I fucked up. - Okay. - It's supposed to be 21. - It's like, my name is Robert. - I made Robert and I made a looopsy. - Today I fucked up by ruining my boyfriend's company wide meeting. This actually happened a few hours ago and I am writing this outside out of fear of going back into the apartment. The iconic and viral clip of a mother storming in on her children and asking which one of them didn't flush after using the toilet has been a cornerstone of my boyfriend and I's relationship. Today my boyfriend took the. - I don't. - Yeah. - Beautiful. Took a shit in the toilet. - I don't know. - I don't think I've seen this. - But sounds hilarious. - Okay. - Disgusting. - Oh, okay. I know that phrase. Today my boyfriend took the largest poop I have ever seen and I mean largest. It wasn't even broken into pieces. One long continuous poop and while he might have tried to flush it, it did not work and ended up greeting me in the face when I too needed to take an incredibly large poop. Out of pure humor, I barged straight into my boyfriend's work from home office and in my best and loudest Scottish accent said, "Did you take a shit in the flush?" Disgusting. The intention was to laugh with my boyfriend and for him to come and see how it didn't flush correctly. Instead, his face went completely white and jaw-dropped. He was on a video call with not only his boss, but his entire team. We normally have a little sign to put on the door when we are in video calls, but just like how he maybe forgot to flush, he forgot to let me know he was having a company wide meeting where he was presenting. And then his boss was like, "Are there any marketing strategies to have a lot of poop?" Well, first of all, I just want to say congrats because a full log is a good sign of a healthy colon. Yeah, fiber-maxing. Yes. With pointed ends, is it most ideal? We didn't know. Pointed ends, you want? So it sounds like they're doing everything right. They're doing a great job. So that's good for the team to know that he's -He's healthy. -Yeah. -He's ready to work. -So-- -Tell us maybe they know the video. Maybe they know the reference video. -Maybe? -Yeah. -Oh, you're cool. -Oh, they're like, "Ah-ha-ha-ha." Promoted. [ Laughter ] -I had you guys have any embarrassing Zoom call or-- -Big shit stories. -You guys are like, "Huge dumb story." -This video gets posted, you're like, "Oh, the pride red story." It's just a huge dumb red story. -Huge dumb story. -It's so hard for a question. -Huge dumb story. -Oh, right, right. "Rainbow shit." -It's my job, Zoom. -The first Zoom I ever did, it was a show. It was a Zoom show. It was a Zoom comedy show. -Oh, cool. -And I was learning how to use it in that-- for that show. -Sure. -And I was being explained how it would work and how-- when-- when to talk and what to-- and then-- so I would just do my stand-up set. And I thought I understood. And I start my-- my set into my laptop at home, and it's like March 15th. -God. -Horrible. -Yeah. -And I just-- and I'm saying my jokes, and then I'm just like, "Okay, this is fine." Like, let's just say it like a monologue looks straight into your computer and just keep saying the jokes. You're not going to hear any laughs, and you just-- you'll just do it, and you'll raise money, and that'll be that. And then about five minutes into my set, I finished a joke, and then I hear laughter. And I realized I was supposed to be hearing laughs the whole time. I was just bombing for the first, like, five minutes of my set. So that was tough to kind of hear that laugh. -Yeah. -And then realizing real time. -And again, it's like March 15th. -Was that your first time ever doing stand-up straight into a just-- -Of course. -Yeah, that's something. -Yeah. -That's-- if stand-up-- it's like amazing that stand-up could only be harder. -Yeah. -Like, it's already, like, one of the hardest things to ever do. -I don't know, like, later I said in the thing, I'm like, "I got the hang of this. It's just like a teleprompter. Just so you can read it, you're fine." -Yeah. -I mean, oh, I was just muted. -Yeah. -Yeah. But also, the audience-- for the audience, this is also something so new. -Yeah. -Right, like, I'm first just, like, I'm watching stand-up remotely from, like-- -From my house. -Yeah, yeah. It's just not a conducive environment. -And thank you. -Wow. -No, you know, thank you for missing your flight to a hold space for me. [ Laughter ] I remember with Moongoon, we would write-- we were still writing shows at this time on Zoom. And the way meetings would work, we will follow the fun, and we'll follow bits. In person, it's very easy to follow the conversation. But on Zoom, it's just too many voices at one time. It's just like when it's 14 people in a writer's room. And you would have to learn, kind of, when to unmute yourself just to laugh to be like, "That's funny," and then unmute yourself again. -I know. Brutal. -Brutal. Anyways, some comments. Someone said, "He left you a present. Can you just be grateful?" -Yeah. -Oh, he said, "This made us both laugh. Thank you so much." Someone said, "What was the reaction?" Opie said, "I had to regain my composure and go for a walk. He is incredibly embarrassed, but can't really be mad at me." It's his fault for both A, not checking to see if it went down, and D, not letting me know he was on a conference call. I am somewhat nervous that he is going to try and get me back for ruining his company wide reputation. I think I need to find another place to take my video calls. Something I didn't mention, however, is that we are both men. But lastly, someone said, "Well, he needs to learn to take care of his shit in one form or another. Then this wouldn't happen. If he has really learned his lesson, he will buy a poop knife and remember his sign." Opie says he is most definitely scarred for life, and now I know what I'm getting him for his birthday. Thanks for the suggestion. Legendary Reddit, "Poop Knife." -What? -What is a poop knife? -You both don't know this? -No, I wouldn't imagine, but if people are using this? -One of the most famous Reddit stories of all time, this is from like 10 years ago. -Okay. -Is this girl's dating this guy? He eventually visits the girlfriend's family, and he asks, "Hey, where's your guy's poop knife?" And she's like, "What?" And he's like, "Yeah, we have a poop knife. My family has a knife in the bathroom for cutting the poop. Cut the shit, you know what I mean? -He thought everybody had poop. -But where is he-- -Who, when is he-- -When is he-- -When is he better flying it? Has he been-- Why is he cutting the poop? -Oh. -Oh. -Like sashimi. -Just to get it down. -He's julienning it. -Yeah. -Oh, my God. [ Laughter ] -I hate that. Anyways, so that's that. -Whoa. -Yeah, yeah, some fun Reddit. -Yeah, you know. -I don't like poop knife, Shane. -I'm sorry. It's not my thing. -Yeah. -It's a Reddit thing. -Okay. -This does remind me in the mornings, I am gassy, and I will FaceTime my family, because we're in different cities too far. What's up, Dad? You got to hear it. You got to hear it. So we're all on FaceTime. We'll be on FaceTime for, like, maybe 30 minutes. -Well, we're not all engaged all the time, and I'll be walking, I'll be making a coffee. I just woke up, you know, it's different time zones and stuff. And I will burp, and then my niece in, like, a very, like, kind of six-year-old way will, like, scold me, and then my parents kind of get in on it. And then I'm, like, I'm in my house. I'm alone in my home. Let me burp. And I'm, like, oh, wait, I am on a call. And it does make me think about, like, you know, who's, like, I wish we had a ref here. Like, what do you guys think? Should I leave? That's interesting. -Am I allowed to burp in the privacy of my own home? -Well, if I'm on a FaceTime with my family? -Yeah. I think so. -I say no. -No. -You say no? -I say no. -It depends on the context of the conversation. -If the burp adds to it. -If the conversation is, like, yeah, Grandma's not doing well. -Oh, my God. -It's, like, blah, yeah, sucks. Like, if it's just, like, a casual conversation, that it's ever-- -But it usually is. -I guess, depends on the families. Some families have a poop knife. -Yeah. -Some families don't burp. -My family doesn't burp. You guys don't burp. -Damn. All I do is burp and fart. It's crazy. It's a lot. It's weird. -You're a shrek ass. -You know what I should? Like, yes. For whatever reason, yesterday. I farted in my bathroom. -Yeah, girl. -Oh, you should in my bathroom. -You're a bathroom. -I farted in my bathroom. And it occurred to me, like, I guess, the acoustics. And I heard it. And I thought, my butt isn't trying to hurt anyone's feelings. And I, like, heard my butt fart. And it was, like, because, you know, you feel shame for farting and for burping. You're like, "Oh, it's a pissy runoff, and I'm gross." I went, "My butt doesn't know." -No. -My butt's just a sweet little butt. And it just farted. -Far old God. -There's no idea that anyone's getting offended or hurt or-- -It's just, like, "Oh, I'm sorry." -Yeah. -Yeah. -It was kind of nice. -Oh, well. A moment of empathy for my butthole. I think my butt knows. That's why I don't. -You don't get sentient. -Yeah. It's, like, aware of itself. -Yeah. -Don't worry, Josh. -This is what I get. -Oh, God. -But it's so good. -Yeah, it's so good. Well, on that note, thank you both for joining. -Thank you. Happy Pride. -Hey, happy Pride. -Happy Pride. -Yeah. -What? -Happy Brawl? -Oh. -You don't like that? -You could say that. -I-- -I can't stop you. -I know you can't. Thank you for coming on this journey with me today. Uh, boy, it was a roller coaster. All sorts of stories. And, um, thank you all for watching. And, um, we'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye.