Alyssa Edwards and the Woeful Wigs of Purgatory

[MUSIC] >> Okay, you guys, this is a huge get. Turns out, Conti being gone is the best thing that ever happened to me. Because we have Alyssa Edwards appearing on her very first podcast. Of all people who have never appeared on a podcast, you would not be at the top of the list. We have the Dancing Deeper from Texas, an incredible storyteller. >> Yes, you have to read a piece of paper, are you serious? >> I think she wrote this. >> Who? >> I'm not silencing women. She wrote this for me to read. >> But she has to read that, she doesn't know? >> I know, okay. >> She could have looked at me and said the ball, the ball, the beautiful. And she's back, back, back again. She's reading, we have the dance, David like I'm on Barbara Walters. >> All right, so this girl, I don't really know her from this lady from Texas, I don't know. Anyway, she's making her bald in the beautiful, she's making her bald in the beautiful debut and her podcasting debut, Alyssa Edwards, oh my god, look, why have you never been in a pod? Girl, I am a busy lady. >> I know, but you are a pod, somebody could laugh you and there would be a pod, you could be a pod, because you're a storyteller, you're chatty. >> Right, yeah, but listen, if I'm not wearing a wig, I'm over there twirling with the kids at the studio. >> I know. >> I guess I could probably find time to do something like this, let me check all this out. Oh my god, this is hilarious. >> What can I tell you? I'm embarrassed because you and I are sitting here out of drag and Luscious isn't that hallway fuming. Luscious was here and you and I are here out of drag and I could hear her saying, I don't like it, Bob. >> Well, I mean, some kind of people hear me in drag. >> Oh, this is a major drag. >> Our teacher drag, it's Bluff Springs, it's Palm Springs Realtor. Are these some camper, these are so cute. >> I'm not sure if you're interested in Lou Beton. >> Okay. >> Kind of like camper. Kind of like camper. >> Did you like that? It was very, I like to have a studio audience in here. You always have a studio audience. >> Well, Alessia was putting this on, she goes, is this too much? Look at you, you're so cute. She said, you just look like a regular guy. I said, girl, I am a regular guy. Unfortunately, I can be a regular regular guy. >> I can be a regular guy too, okay? Regular regular old guy too. I mean, literally, I was saying this to Luscious in the back. I got dropped off on the corner over here. And this is a foreign area for me. And I'm looking like, where did I go? Okay, where did I go? And there was this mysterious gentleman, kind of handsome, strolling up and down. The driver gets out of the car and he says, I'm going to wait with you until someone comes. I said, oh, honey, don't worry about it because if someone steals me, they will return me. Don't worry. >> What does that mean? >> What do you mean? So if they steal you, they're going to drop you off afterward. >> Yeah, they're going to take me wherever and say, we don't want to fuck with this bitch. >> Okay, I was like, why would they have the courtesy to just drop you? Do you mean they're going to get two bucks away and be like, never fucking mind me? >> Never mind, yeah, this bitch is too high maintenance, I mean, this is too much. That's why I look like a regular guy. >> Right. >> Now if I walk out there looking like the art teacher, they're going to be like, I'll hail now. >> Right. >> They're going to pivot. >> They're going to be like, punch it. >> Punch it. >> Well, no, you're too nice if shoes. They're going to be like, steal her. She has money. >> These have insurance. >> No one's going to think I have money. >> Yeah, I mean, somebody will need those Reebok sneakers. >> I've had him for a long time. >> You have? >> A lot of years. >> A lot of years. >> Years. >> Years. >> But you know what? >> I don't know. I feel no relationship to feeling, I have no personal style out of drag. I just look like I'm just, I'm a serial killer trying to blend in. Just human life interpreted, let's take a break. >> I don't know. It's, she has no, did she say she has no style out of drag? >> At all. >> I look, everyone's always like, you look like Bert Hummel from Glee, you look, Amish, you look, um, like a trailer. >> But that's good though. >> Yeah, but that's just me, I guess. That's just lame. >> It's very power rangers. You can morph into a lot of things. >> Yeah, and you know how it is. I mean, on a day off for Melissa Edwards, what is Melissa wearing at home? Hoodies? >> No, flip-flop tank tops, shorts, sweatpants cut off. >> Okay, you like hot weather, too, don't you? >> I love hot weather. >> Not too, and I love cold weather and drag, but out of drag, I like the heat. >> On the same way. >> I want sun. >> I need it to be very cold, and I need to control the temperature, I don't know if you like to do that. >> The guy would have gotten you in the car and the kidnapped person would have said, oh baby, can you turn on the air? >> I would have said, honey, it's too hot. If I get a wig on, oh my god, can you please turn the air on? But then if I'm starting to get in drag, I'm like, honey, it's too cold. What is going on over here? >> But when you got in here, you were telling them, you said, I almost got kidnapped, and then you said, well, really stolen. >> Yeah. >> And then kidnapped and stolen. >> Well, I think you have the microphone up here, my love. >> Do you say what? >> Oh, okay. >> I don't want to be like this. I don't want to be like this, thinking I'm like, where did that medicine ball, girl? Did you see that Starbucks? I had, oh, I need that. >> Medicine ball? >> Can I have all that? You never had that. >> No. What's that? Is it, is it, are you sick? >> I mean, I just feel like, you know, this is- >> Kind of congested. >> Yeah. >> So, take D. >> Travels Heart. Did you fly in today? >> I did. I met a point in my life where the airplanes, for some reason, always make me feel stuffed up. Because it's so dry up there, you know? >> Yeah, it's a lot. >> You live outside of Dallas, right? >> I do. >> So, do you fly out of DFW? >> Mm-hm. >> That's a horny airport. >> Horny? >> I mean, like, it's a nice airport. Like, you can get- >> But what does the horny mean, like, good? >> I don't think anybody's going to the airport with all their luggage at 5 in the morning. Horny. >> I don't know. >> To each their own about junkies, a bunch of junkies. >> You don't need people to suck in cock at the airport. You think they're checking in American Airlines, everybody fucking match shit. >> Yeah. >> And they're like, got a fucking boner. Like, how can I get off today on a terminal C? >> Girl, they're sucking cock at the airport. They are. Open grinder at the airport. >> Have you ever? >> Have I? >> Yeah. >> Not sucked. >> Tugged. >> Tugged? Then I don't know. >> You tugged on something. >> You're lying. >> You're watching this. >> I'll never tell. >> I don't want to lose my, I don't want to lose my global entry, I don't lose my frequent flyers. I don't want to lose any of that. So, really? >> No. You know what? It was a long time ago. It was months ago. That was a different me. >> I want to know. >> I mean, there's nothing. >> What airport? What city? >> I was in a different place in my life. And now thinking back, I'm like, I probably could have pwe harmed myself because, yeah. If I got arrested for fondling at the airport, then it's going to be like, oh, all cross-dressers are perverts, do you know what I mean? >> I do know what you mean. >> So, I'm glad that it didn't happen. >> Yes, so you would have ruined it for all of us. Thank God you didn't. >> It's sort of like- >> Keep your horned at home. >> I've also like sucked it in a car, but if I gots, because you can get in a car. >> But where were you in the front bag? Give me a location, come on now. >> Oh, front and back, the trunk on the hood, girl everywhere, under the vehicle. >> You were an easy lay then. >> I'm not easy. I'm busy. >> So, you just like, you just got to get it in where you can get it in. >> I don't have a desk to deal. >> I don't even have a desk to deal, she's like, if that's the airport, if that's the car. >> The other thing is you teach kids, so even if you were a secret whore, you have to be kind of as America about it. I don't teach children, so I can be like, yes, like they're taking the car and I do it again. >> We're going to break for sure. >> I have something I have to talk to you about. >> Okay, go ahead. >> Because nobody will talk to me about this, but I know that you know about this. >> I have watched all nine seasons recently of toddlers in TRS. >> Have you ever seen this? Girl. >> Those moms come into my studio, the misting Texas, her little sister dances at my studio. I did her number for Miss America. >> Okay. >> Miss Teen America, yes. >> Because I figured these pageant girls, there's got to be a lot of dance overlap. >> They go to the dance studios and they do pageants. >> They go to dance studios three months before the pageant, maybe hoping that I can wave a wand and sprinkle some dust around them and I grow your feet or still fried, dried pickles and sickled. But you look beautiful, doll. You look beautiful. >> I think. >> But if you would come to a consistent class, but they're like, oh, she's got to went talent. The mom is like, she's got to went talent and I'm like, where was she as six months ago? >> Well, in the show, the pageant coaches say this. They say that the thing is often the younger kids especially, there requires a amount of certain practicing at home that the parent has to be like, now we're going to practice. So when the kids don't practice at home with the parents, they come back to the pageant rehearsal and the teachers are like, okay, nothing happens. >> But listen, all of that is true, but my favorite part of all of that series and all of that madness chaos and confusion is the hand signals. >> Oh. >> Because they could look at the mom and the mom or the dad. Did you see the one with the dad? >> The dad that could throw the baton? >> Oh, yes. >> Yes, yes. >> And he was like saying that his little Sally Sue was going to win and then it pans into her and she's over there. >> And she's chopped. And she's chopped. >> Oh, it's a chop. >> What I've noticed is. >> But she's loving what she's doing. So I was living for that. But the dad is like, don't ever let me be on stage and say she's loving it though and I love that for her. That's never what I want to hear. You know what I loved about it? That you loved it. That's horrible. Have you ever judged a kid's pageant? >> I've, let me see, must have not been that memorable because it's not coming to mind. But I've judged dance competitions. >> Okay, sure. >> And I had to stop doing that because I think, you know, in true Alyssa Edwards, Justin Johnson, for me, in fashion, I sometimes say the things that's just on my mind. So immediately when a kid walks out, I remember, you know, you sit through days of this and on our six, your eyes start to cross every 13-year-old is in love. It must have been love and all these things and you're like, oh my God, make it stop, make it stop. And this kid walks out and I'm like, okay, whoa, this costume looks like a float in a parade. And do you hear the people? that are listening in to make sure that you're giving you know proper notes. They're like, and I said, look, I'm one for more. I love more. I love my drag, especially. Right. But I mean, we had pom-poms on the ankles, on the wrists, in the head, on the neck. And I was like, oh, I don't know where to look. I said, whoever you get a tin for costume, you get a tin. Okay. And then you, I remember I kept walking out and tried to pony to hold her on her wrist, but she had really long hair. And she started to dance and the hair was like the cousin it. It was all in her face. Right. And I'm like, but you have the pony to hold her. And then you can hear the mom and dads and the grandmas and the aunts and uncles behind you. And they're like, oh my god, yes. She burnt the building. Yeah, but you're like, I gotta go. But sometimes she didn't. And I'm notice I got dollars in T.R. Most of the time, they don't. The parents go home almost crying being like, she should have won. And you've seen the talent and the presentation. You're like, that bitch didn't even hurt access. I've never been in a pageant. And you're like, it was rigged. Every pageant someone says it's rigged. Right. No, have you though? Have you ever? I've only done one. I did miss entertainer of the year, Wisconsin in 2014, 13. What place did you get? First, stay tight. Hold on. Yes. But like, but like, what was the other competition? There was there was how many contestants there was two. No, there was three. That was three. That was three. It was my first pageant. Why did you go to the nationals? No. So a few days later, I realized that I mean, I have to go to nationals and I called them and said, give it to the runner up. I don't, I don't want to do that. And she wanted to go. So win, win. Yeah. But I just wanted to try a pageant. And you fit perfectly in that system. I guess everybody keeps saying, oh, you're very E O Y, which at the time I didn't understand, but it's kind of more creative, crafty. But I do understand smart and sweet. But for example, the, the evening gown for that is creative. Creative evening gown. Yes. And I think I understand that the talent portion is a little more talented. They want you to play your bassoon in whatever the fact. You know, so I tap dance. That's probably why I won. You did. Yeah. But I mean, I was not great, but the other girls didn't have that really. No, they were just doing drag queen talents. Yeah. And when dip in and duck walking and coming up with nothing, no 10s, no nothing. I don't know what I was doing. I didn't deserve to win, but I did win. And that only took me one time to realize pageants aren't for you. Did you have a pageant coach or a drag mom or someone helping you? No. So you just busted up in there with all that blush on that big eyeshadow. More blush and poorly applied and just showed up and was like, I think my talent number. I did a heartbreaker by Pat Benertar. And it came out the wedding dress and then played this audio of getting broken up with or left at the aisle. And then I stripped it off and it was black. No, please, can we go on the tapes? Can we be on the tapes? So unappealing. It's so unappealing. But it was real tap dance in this pop I won. I didn't look good. Feel in my pussy girl. And no one, no one. Just feel in my pussy hole. Horny. Very horny. Really? That's the thing. Bricked. She said, I'm bringing a list of words over here. And the theme today is horny. It's the theme's been horny girl. And the theme is bald and the beautiful. Do you love being bald? I do. Do you live? Yeah. Do you love? I mean, I'm been bald for I started shaking my head and I was like 25. And it's just part of it. It's just me. You know what? I thought I went through this face where I was like, maybe I snatched my hair back too many pages. And I was like, wait, should I go get a hair transplant? And I was like, wait, I got a good headshade. It's really nice. I mean, if you really don't care about headshade, look okay, though. Let's see, turn that way. No, yeah, you're good. Don't act like bitches is a jump scare up in here. Girl. Oh my god. You have a you do absolutely not. Absolutely not. Take another break. Get out of here. That the fuck out. Do you like? Do you miss having here at all? No, I don't either. What I miss having here. I wear a wig or night. That's how I feel. I sometimes be like, like, if there's a god, they picked the right career for me to be bald because I'm like, I certainly don't miss pinning hair down or like head the head, the head, the duct tape headband. You duct tape the head still. Why? I'm sorry, that was aggressive. No, it was a valid question. Why are you doing all that? I am like, what are you okay? I think because you know what? I feel like I've had nightmares and I woke up with these night terrors of like a monster age and I'm feeling like Joan Collins and the way, you know, when Vita boy, I mean, you walk through and the wig goes back and Patrick's was so good. He did that because that's how it would look. She's plugged. Chunked. Yeah. It has to exit the room and you're like, you have the process. But then I was talking to my partner about this. He's a clinical psychologist. Thank God, I got a built-in therapist. Right. And he's like, honey, why are you stressed? I'm like, what, what if? And he's like, you laugh about everything else? I'm like, you're right. I probably would laugh. But then I'm standing up their ball headed. You know what though? I think the gig would be up. But I also think at some points in my life, that would the gig would be up. And at some points in my life, I would probably laugh and just, I wouldn't stay out and finish the number. Some girls remember that video of Silke and her wig falls off and she just keeps performing. Like, it's happened to Katia. Girl, they do it on drag race and then they shake out their little three inches of hair in your life. I hate that. Oh, it's camp. I don't like that. I mean, I don't know if I hate it. But I'm just like, yeah, you do. Well, here's the thing for being entirely honest on this day. If it fits the bill, if the shoe fits. Now, if it's someone like me, it's a no. Right. But you know, you know, you know, you know, you're like, Bob bald. I like, you know, the way I came off with, or Mona used to do bald. Yes. Do you remember when Cory King was doing this lip sync? And I love this lip sync. And the way it came off, as she just left it back on, I fell on the four laughing. I thought that was camp. It worked, right? Right. I think if my wig came off, everybody would be like, Oh, girl, you just plucked. You wear the big hair. If your wig fell off, everyone in the room would feel it hit the ground. I would be like, you know what, bitch, they knew it was fake. No, you know what you would do. I know what you do. Okay, let me see. You go. Thank you, judges. I don't walk hunchback though and all that. Like, the hunchback in the other day, I just would say, thank you. I would nod. I would agree. I would recognize that. Look, there was a mistake. There was, there was a, there was a technical difficulty in tonight's program. Technical difficulty. Thank you. Good night. I would lose points at the pageant. Oh my god. I had the wig like kind of slip and you're like, girl, just, just dance with the lower body. Don't move the fucking neck, bitch. You better stay right here. My favorite thing on toddlers and tiaras is, and I don't know if you guys allow this at dance competitions. I'm assuming the parents can't stand up and coach at dance competitions. That's not allowed. Is it? Well, I mean, you know, in the mom's, they do that dance shows too. No, the mom is off the corner doing the car wheel. No, the thing is these, these pageants are in, you know, they're in the shared and in girl. They are, that's because they say they're a model, girl, the convention center over there, girl up the street and around the corner. Tim Buck too. Carpet, carpet floor. Oh yes. They got them little cupcake dresses and all the applique and rhinestones and the cut the dresses can be really fierce though. But if you had a child, would your child not be in pageants? My would the way, the way I would spend it all the way I would she would be one of, um, she would be at one of those pageant houses where you have a professional pageant coach and they have weekly needs. And they do the flipers and all that. The hair pieces multiple flippers. Three sets of teeth. Three sets of teeth. Girl. Yes. My kid would be coming out costume change, costume change. Oh my god. And I would be like, you know, holding my dogs and over there. Now my poor partner would be like, what the hell is this? The fuck is this? And I would be one of those, would you be one of those parents who were in the, because this is what I have a problem with when the kid, let's say when you don't win anything, they give the kids a queen title. And the parent gets so visibly upset that I feel like, if your kid wins nothing, you still need to act like, wasn't that fun? You looked like, I don't know. But is it fun? But how do you balance? Go into six likes is fun. Disney's fun. I mean, they're probably like, girl, we're getting in mug at four o'clock in the morning. I know. We got something on our teeth. We got shit glued to our ears. Our fingers are the kids. I think some of them, they, they seem to hate the hair and make up the most. They hate sitting. They hate the poking. Well, they hate sitting. Yeah. And they hate the HD. I can understand that. All of them. Sometimes I'm like, come on, baby, just put it on. Let's go. Glue the lash. Let's get it. Yeah. I think my daughter would do it or my son, because they also have the little boy pageants. Yeah. Either would do it. It is a lot of work, though. And it's a lot of money. These parents, I mean, you know, dance schools. It's not super cheap. No, it's not cheap. How much is dance classes at Beyond Belief Dance Company? We're very affordable. But remember, Beyond Belief now is just a company. Okay. So I don't have like a rec program. Okay. And to be honest, I took 17 kids this year. Took them from the youngest to the oldest from their families. Yes, we're in to keep. Listen, I said, I auditioned not only the children, but the parents. Oh, interesting. Well, I need to know if it's a good fit. I don't, I'm not babysitting you, mom and dad. I'm not doing all this. We don't have a waiting room for you to sit and watch a video and all that. I need to work with, you know, goal-oriented young artists, like-minded kids. I mean, yeah. And if the parent comes in and they're like, you know, helicopter mom, right? And they're like, Justin, we want you to make her a lyrical dance, and we need this move, this move, and this move. I'm like, get out. Yeah, I tell the kids if your mom messages me, I'm going to block her. Fears. I'm letting you know right now. That is so - So fierce. - I'm not dealing with it. And the moms sound, the moms are like, - I, they pay on the flash. - Can I ask you a real question? - Yeah. - Oh, those are real? - No, do you get, like, do you get, almost, you must get actually genuinely emotional watching these kids really get good at dancing. - I do. Especially when you've had them for like so many years, like Ansela, who was on Dancing Queen, a little star. - Uh-huh. - I mean, I have pictures holding her at three years old. I remember she did a Barbie girl solo one time in the wig, the ponytail fall. Oh my God, speaking of tellers and tiaras, that I had put on her damn head was bigger than her head. And at the cutest photo that someone took from behind, I'm holding her eight hours later, and she's asleep on my shoulder. And now she's in high school. She's the dancer of the year. And she lived with me and Steve, you know, her first semester of high school. So we would be taking her to school, picking her up. And watching her all these years, yeah, that's like, I mean, she's like a niece to me. - Wow. I get it. - 'Cause very emotional, 'cause then you're like, she's grown into a confident young lady. - Are you a cryer? - Uh-huh. - Are you a cryer? - Um, I'm a capricorn. So, depending on the situation, I mean, I've kind of competitions like when it's the last one, and you have a group of kids graduating, and they like, they'll make you book, so they'll give you memories. Yes, I'll get emotional with stuff like that. - I, as I get older, really easy cryer when it comes to anything, just very sweet, very nice, very genuine. - Yeah, do you cry in movies? - Yes. - Okay, what's the last movie you cried in? - Titanic. I watched it a couple of weeks ago for the first time in probably two decades, and I knew it was sad. I just forgot how sad. - Still magnolias every time. Still magnolias, it don't matter what day, what time of the day, or what is going on my life. I'm going to ball. - For still magnolias. - Oh my god, yes. - The Queen of the Teeper version. The Queen of the Teeper version. Have you ever seen the Queen of the Teeper version? There's two versions of still magnol. You're talking about the original one, the whole G. - Sally Fields, Julia Robins. - Yes, that is sad. That is a sad movie. - It's a sad movie. - I don't think I could ever watch it again. - I'll always see the Queen of the Teeper one. - It's similarly very sad. I mean, it's still magnolias. So it's the same story, it's just also sad. It's predominantly black cast. - Oh, I definitely need to see that. - You will cry. - Yeah. - I always cry from broke back, but I haven't watched that in so long. 'Cause it's too much. - I haven't watched that in so long. - It's emotional labor. It's the notebook. I was on the way to Turkey for some-- - Do you know what, that was my talent when I went to Miss Continental. When I did the notebook, cry. - Wait a minute, wait a minute. You know what's in my top three favorite movies? You were in drag doing the notebook. - Yes, girl. Why do you think that is so funny? - 'Cause I asked you if you're like, if you're sentimental and you're like, not really, but I did do the notebook. - I just did not really ask that in my capricorn depending on the, the, the, the, the, the, - So this was the day where you were? - Yes, I was giving a theatrical dramatic. - What did you do? - Interpret, I did an interpretive dance, and I had this like, you know, where it's the scene where, you know, she slams the door and they're at the mailbox. - Oh yeah. - Yeah, and I did that little bit, and I went into all I want is to rock your soul, and there's a part bench, and I'm jumping on it. There's a ver, it's that movie. Oh, I was on, I was flying to Malta, but I had to connect through Turkey, and this girl next to me was watching it, and I watched her watch it and cried, without an headphones, just even the visual of that movie. I was like, oh god, it's just, it's so. - But I like a good time. - It's a love story. - I do like a good cry. I did cry in the Barbie movie. - You did when? - I did at the very end. I was like, I got like a little emotional, and it was like, I don't know. I was like, I think as a kid growing up with four sisters and playing with the dolls and all that. - Yeah. - You know, here in the symbolism of what the Barbie really meant, and the power, the message was so powerful. - I agree. I mean, that movie, obviously, like I'm a Barbie hardcore fan. I had, but I went into it not being like a, my expectations were not here. I'm not a hater. I hate when people love things, but they show up to hate it. It's like bands of Drag Race, sometimes when they're like, you love Drag Race, but your Twitter's only shitting on Drag Race. But you do love it. - Right. - So I love Barbie's, I wish. - Just enjoy it for what it is. - I mean, people where they are. And like, you gotta know, like, look, okay, this was not, I predicted this. Okay, for example, I just watched a minted reality television competition shows now. - Oh, what do you think? - Huge survivor fan. - Oh, really? - Mega. - Girl. - I'm like, the biggest survivor fan, because I went on this damn show on Amazon's The Go, the greatest of all time reality television. It says, I met this guy who won, and I said, let me see what this show is. Now, mind you, I went on this show, and I love how I'm talking to the audience. This is fierce. - Oh, yeah, if you guys don't know, we have people over there, they're usually working, but today they're interested in you. - It's a studio audience. I like this. And I never watched one reality show. Big brother, not-- - What? - No, I'm not into it. - I don't-- - I look docu-series. And I need something, I need Ryan Murphy. - What about a housewife? - No. Although did you see the new one from New York, I got to tell my favorite tagline, my partner, we're at Disney. And I heard him watch something in Giggle, and he definitely doesn't watch a reality television. And he said, you have to see this Justin. This lady on the new housewives of New York, her tagline is, when they go low, I just get high. Is that not, is that genius? - I do love that. - I mean, that's brilliant to me. I wonder if I've had a good one that was like, I am love dogs. I'm just not crazy about bitches. - That's a good one. - Wow. - You know some gay made that up. - I know, but back in the day, they used to be, now they're all clever puns. It used to be like, family means everything to me. They would just say something so normal. It was so weird. - Yeah, I don't wanna see that. - Yeah, I don't wanna see it. - I mean, I love that, put that in your memoir, but I wanna see-- - Put it in your scrapbook, too. - Yeah, please. - Can I ask you, everybody knows you're-- - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I gotta go back to this. I'm watching reality shows, what did I say? - Oh right, you're watching Survivor. - Survivor, and we're talking about-- - What were you talking about? My god, the ADHD got us. Huh, the goat rewind back. Keep going. We are watching what's in my crying, and then we went from crying. - That's fine. - It'll come to us. - It'll come back, don't worry. - Everybody knows you from Drag Race, obviously, but I have to talk to you about a movie called Pageant. Have you ever seen this movie? - Oh, she went through the archives. - No, no, no, no, no. If you go through it, I know this movie. I love this movie. Okay, you're in this movie. - Can I tell you a funny story about that? - That's what I'm hoping happens. - I had to head full of hair and a mustache and a beard. - Yes, you had that kind of red hair almost. - Yeah. - You were very tan. - Well, yeah, I'm from Texas. - Death to finally tan, girl, death to finally tan. - I was. - But you were also pageant. - But because I also wanted to be like, Ms. Venezuela. - Well, yeah, pageant, I really wanted to be, and you know, the hair just quoft and done and laid over on the side. But I'll never forget going into final night. Also, the year before I was second alternate. So I was like, oh, that's right. - This is my year. You know when it's always your year, you're like, your answer. - Oh, it's always someone's year. - And they're like, I was winning a lot of categories and it was in this grand theater. And they were filming this documentary series. And I was like, I'm not interested in that. You know, and you're focused. - At last, I was like, I'm here to be Miss America, the symbol of excellence. And oh my gosh. Trisha, this is hilarious. I can't believe I'm telling this. - You better tell it, girl. - We're standing there. And I'm in the middle of the top 10. And we're all holding hands. - I love when they hold hands. - And they said, this year's third alternate. Miss South. And I'm standing there like this. And the girl beside me says, "So that you on video, you see me go." (laughing) - Wait, wait, here's my kiss cut, here's my kiss cut. This is my kiss cut. And they go, "Listen, Edward, did I do a go?" And I'm so shook and shocked. And as I'm walking forward, as I'm walking forward, I really did black out, but you hear everybody nodding. It's, ooh, and I'm walking very slow. And I go to brush my hair off my shoulders, forgetting my hair's in an updo. - So you just go like this. - All you see me do is this, when the lady hands me the flowers. And I grab the, I grab the, here's where it gets good. I grab the flowers and I walk real slow. And everybody's like, as caught chocolate, she was a judge that year. And I get over to the side. And everybody's like, "Oh my God, Alyssa." And I'm like glaring. Okay. - I know, I'm sadder, you're like a child. - And they go, second alternate. Victoria, Park, Parker, and all you see me. (laughing) But that's what I'm saying. - I just look up and all my friends are like, "What were you looking at?" I said, "Gro, the devil is alive." - Yeah, the devil is alive. I was looking up into the sky just, and that's where the pageant, the docu series ends. And it has me saying, "Well, I guess I'll go back home and balance my checkbook and that's the end of it." There's also this contie part where I think you're, who was, they follow Cody Collins, right? The Reba impersonator. She was a great Reba though, amazing. - She toured with Reba. - And she did that, I think it's Judy number. - Absolutely. - That was amazing. - Amazing, yes. - She was actually the first one to rub that euro. - Yes, that's right. It's Victoria. They also follow, I can't say that. - She had to say for Florida. - Is it, Vanessa, no, it's-- - Raquel Shavallier from Louisiana. - Raquel Shavallier. And they, but you get a lot of, um, shots of people like you also at the pageant, they, well, they wanted to follow me and I said, I cannot y'all ready for this. I said, you, you can't record me because my dance moms don't know I do drag. Oh, interesting. I was the real life Hannah Montana of Mesquite. You know Hannah Montana's up before your time. Are you back then funny over there? Look at you. You swear girl, you know who Hannah Montana is. I know Hannah Montana. Okay. I've got to say that probably grew up. I get the bad. I was the real life Hannah Montana both worlds. I was the real life Hannah Montana. I was. They did not know, even though my eyebrows were penciled. Girl, they knew they knew they knew coming in there. Small like Britney Spears curious. They knew they knew. But we didn't talk about it. You know, it's very like how people, you know, they're raised like that. You know, they go to Baptist churches, you know, you cheat on your wife on Friday. You listen, you pray about it on Sunday, so you put it under the rug. You don't talk about it. You know, I love about Southern people. Yeah. It's like the nicer it's like, oh, I can't tell if she hates me. She's super nice to me. Like the people being nice, even if they'd like, I hate that fucking bitch. Yeah. Love. Yeah. Did you watch that show? Scripted series. Oh, my God. Scandalists. Southern women. Y'all help me. Y'all, it was just on TV. It's a scripted show. Why are you mad at us? Huh? I know, I'm sorry. She said, why are you mad at me? She said, why don't you guys know what I was watching? I'm asking. I'm asking. It's called wives. Oh, I did watch that. I did watch that. Can I tell you that I know those people. Yeah, right. I know those people. That is, that is the quintessential Southern woman. What about the wigory on that show? The who? The wigs. The wigs. The hard front wigs on the dolls on the Netflix program. Holy shit. Mysterious. Girl. That was mysterious. It looks like she threw it in the air and stood under it. And then said film this. She did. She did. It was a little lopsided sometimes. That's the, I love Netflix. But sometimes caught in there sitting in there in better hairlines than the shows were watching and we're like. I'm kind of you. I'm like, right? You're like, you're looking like. I'm looking. When caught your hairline is better. I'm like, we're got to. Oh, my God. We got to know. Oh, yeah. You love caught you. You guys have a really close relationship. I love the lady. She is. She's cookie. Oh, we were talking about Drag Race 2. You were saying people even. Yes. I want to talk about Drag Race 2. I love doing All Stars 2 with her because you could just, we had so much fun. And the thing is it's like, look, yeah, of course you want to win. I mean, I'm competitive. We all wanted to win. But like, you want to be gay. You know, and I want to be gay as fuck and I want it to have fun. And I was so glad doing it with her because like she was in on that gig too. Yeah. That's why we're over there rolling around doing crazy shit. I'm sure everybody was like, gosh damn, they're getting on our nerves. But you know what else is good about her in those environments? Like, I tend to get too serious and I get too, and she is always so like, girl, it's drag. It's really not serious. Like she has looked at me in the face over the years and I'm like, we're not heart surgeons. We're not jumping on a plane. We are cross-stressers. Yeah. Why are you so, why are you stressed? Why are you losing sleep over cross-stressing? And it's like, damn bitch. She made that. She made, she made that cycle. She's my mental health coach. Huh? Oh god. I think they're growing great. Actually, she might have been mine now that I think about it. Because now we're going to be like, girl, I think I missed, was a do or do doll. She said, girl, who cares. It was funny. It was amazing. You know what? You're right. Fuck it. Thug life. Let's keep it moving. And like, we would just laugh and we had so much fun. And so I'm going back to what you were saying. Thug life. Yeah, just keep it fucking moving, bitch. Charge into the game. Charge into the game, bitch. You're lip-seeking tonight. Yeah. All right, girl. Let me, let me dust these old dance shoes off. Do you run, do you run your own social media? Is that a read? No, people ask. Because I post like once a week. People, people ask me if I run my own. I'm like, pretty much, I'm like, can't you tell it's like typos and shit? Well, the thing is, yes. Because like, and, and, and, and fun fact, I didn't have social media until Drag Race. In fact, we were on episode two. I was on a girl's trip with a Coco Montriss and Roxie Andrews. And logo called me and they said, Alyssa, you need an Instagram. I said, what is that? I don't have time for all this. Right. Y'all, I can't figure this out. And Roxie made my Instagram. She made Alyssa Edwards underscore one. What the fuck was the underscore? Why couldn't she just be Alyssa Edwards? Someone bought it and then they wanted to sell it to me. And they were like, we need $40,000 and backed in. I mean, Alyssa, I still have a lot of money. Are you still Alyssa Edwards one? Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why do y'all know somebody that can change it? I know. I have at Tricks and Mattel. And I tried to get at Tricks. He from someone and they tried to charge me to the account. Like what you're saying. Somebody had it and tried to sell it to me. I was like, I'm not buying that bitch. I created that from scratch. They're a miskeed girl. You are not. How did you come up with Alyssa Edwards? I wanted to be like Alyssa Milano. I mean, I grew up watching who's the bar. Oh, yeah. Or did you like to watch Charmed? What? Charmed? I did like it. It's always on it. Fitness. I got a plan of fitness too. I do too. I got a plan of fitness. Girl, that's great. $5 a month. It's amazing. I think it's $10 or $20 for access to every club, including tanning and like massage. It's like, it's amazing. Massage and tanning. Yeah, girl. The massage chairs. They got tanning boots. I don't do all that. Yeah, girl. They got it all. Showers. And there's a clean fucking gym. Yeah. I do all that. That's why mine's five. I just go. And I just do my little workout. Roundabout. I like the little stations. It's set up very orderly and organized. And because gyms can be overwhelming. You go in there. There's so many machines. You're like, oh my God. Where do I start? And you see people over there. And I like the sign. It says like that. Like if you thunk or feel like. Oh, if you, no lungs. No lungs. Yeah. Don't do that. Don't do that. Because you don't do that. The striker's love that. Juice heads. The striker. They have their little chicken legs. Like juice heads. They're like juice and wired the fuck up for no reason. It's a mess. Yeah. I also don't like how gendered everything is in the gym. I know where we have separate dressing rooms, whatever. But I don't, there's like, it's like only the guys on these weight machines. And only the girls on these elliptical machines. I'm like, we all need to be doing a little bit of everything here. Exactly. Okay. Yeah. But I appreciate it. I think the men are afraid of having legs, muscles and butt muscles. The straight men. They are. Well, they're silly. They are absolutely. My God. They're corny. That's cheesy as fuck. What do you think? Wait, were you going to tell me asking about drag race? Oh, I was like, everybody knows you from drag race. But of course, I know you're from pageant beyond the drag race world. So how many times have you done root pulse drag race, including like appearances? Wait, wait. Oh, okay. I was about to say, well, because you've competed. I think three times. Oh, my God. You competed three times. I have pasted. I pasted you to be up at this point. I think you can be at your test. But you've also appeared on so many seasons. Yeah. Well, they have revolving door for you there. You have a litter box there. I was, I was a choreographer once. And then I rose hype lady. Yeah. I know. I know. The walk through where you're like, I'm just here. Yeah. For decoration to be fun. And let's add some. Let's add some excitement to the room. Yeah. I mean, I think also it's, it's like, look, it is very serious. People, you know, like you were saying, like people like you are like, you want everything. You see it a certain way. Like I remember all that season. I last had everything written down. She had a notebook. And I was like, oh my god, like girl, this is your, she's Bobby Fisher. It's calculated for real. Yeah, she's serious. She was like doing math problems and shit. And I was like, she has a chalkboard. She's doing a beautiful model. I was like, I love that journey for you. But I'm going to just kind of have fun. Right. And you know, I think so when you see alumni come in the room that I've walked in those pumps. It's like, okay, maybe does, you know, relax it a little bit. I mean, what? That's what I'm saying. I'm not saying you've competed. I'm saying you've been on Drag Race. You're welcome. We're all lucky. You are welcome. You're all welcome. You're all welcome. When I walked on, when I walked in that work group on global. I said, oh my god. That must have been crazy. Global. Well, yeah, it was 20 years older than everybody. And also, where did you film London? No. Columbia. Wow. Yeah. It's like we filmed Queen of the Universe in the UK because it's a lot easier to have people come immigrate and work there, I think. Yeah. Because coming to America is such a headache. Yeah. So we filmed that in London. But, oh my god, taking all your drag across international waters to go do drag race. Did you feel like what the fuck am I doing? Like so much. When I walked in and met Tessa the testicle. Yeah. I said. I said, this is when you know your career is plummeted. This is it, bitch. It's over. Yeah. We're going down. We're going down. You know what I mean? God bless. But like if you're on a plane, it has turbulence. And you think, okay, the worst. You know, it's like you think the plane's fucking going down. And you put on your little earbuds and Florence in the machine. Right. I was looking for breath of life. Right. It was that moment for me. I said. Yeah. Just throw your hands up in the air doll. Did you wrap your tour? The one with the two-ung food poster. Yeah, yeah. That shit. What was it called? The tour name. To RuPaul. Thanks for everything. Alicia Edwards. 13 seasons. The mother. The lady. She said. Alicia is yours. I think at this point, one of those Emmys is yours. You've done 13 seasons. You did it more than Michelle. At this point. Oh, my God. Let's get this out of her trophies. That is a fun fact. Thank you for that. I appreciate that. Yeah. You know. I just rewatched all of All Stars 2 and God what a great season you guys really what a great cast what a great cast Giving those were the up to me That's like Peak it's horny. It's incredible. Horny. It's horny girl. Oh, corny. I was like, oh, it's horny Why did I miss this word is this like what only I say it? Okay, no one has embraced it. I never said just me It's horny. I don't know why I started doing it. It's not catching on. I'm just doing it I like it though You're committed to you make up words. I do you have your own stuff. Yeah, I always say I'm a woman of intelligence and wait Integrity integrity intelligence and energy. Yeah, that's when y'all asked me that one time Y'all thought that was so weird that I said that that you would fuck you think it's weird don't all these years later What you are a seasoned lady because you keep talking about these stages of life you're in and now welcome to my world Do you see what I'm saying how like dashing and put together this man is Tom Hanks? Yes, yes I just thought in the context of like Anybody in the world of all time that you would fuck Tom Hanks was so like dashing To I just thought like we live in the age of Henry Cavill we live in the age of you know Henry Cavill I think everyone's answer should be Henry Cavill. No, I need a man with good credit I need a man that is like an Henry Cavill's notoriously broke Oh hell no, right. I don't give it listen. It's like I was telling us just in there. She's like well girl You know, we were you know the girls. Well, but he's fine. He's hot. He has a big penis. Listen Dick is complimentary. It is like when you go into a text max restaurant. You're gonna get chips and salsa for free Right, it's complimentary. What are you gonna get outside of that? Yeah You're 100% right. Yeah, and I what do you think about the people who are obsessed with the big dicks? Because that's never been me either. I love that journey for them, but um Passing me either. I'm equal opportunity. I'm not I'm not measuring people and saying yes or no like it's fucking crazy You're not no I opened up Grindr earlier. I was gonna ask you have you ever gotten on Grindr? I've never have have have I ever gotten on Grindr I used to get banned like twice a year. It's for impersonating as celebrity It was a celebrity me. They thought I was impersonating myself. Oh Yes, I'd have to send. Oh, yes I'd have to send an ID picture your passport photo. I'd have to send a photo myself with my passport to Grindr Twitter and be like it's me again I got blocked again. Did you say I'm certified by the state of California? I was like by the way who's pretending to be a 35 year old ballcross dresser People should be pretending to be other people. No one's pretending to be me. So you would just roll up in Grindr and hey No, yeah, it's not good. It wasn't good. It was never good and it's awful. I know Grindr's fine But for a gay celebrity person it wasn't it wasn't the mom of the juice weren't worth the squeeze the juice is not what it was not It was not worth the squeeze. It was not worth the squeeze. I learned that from you and I say it all the time It's not worth the squeeze. You got to ask yourself sometimes is the juice worth the squeeze you know you have to have internal Conversations and dialogue with yourself and you got to ask yourself It's not because the gentleman when the gentleman would not protect your peace The gentleman wouldn't tell me they would know who I was and it would come out later And it's like I don't like to know that I don't like to after the sex. Oh, did they would get back on there and say by the way I just lay tricks Mattel and a motel six. No, I'm motel six at the trixi motel. No, I'm just kidding They would they would say afterward like oh, I'm actually big fan or something and I like to let before because then I wouldn't do it So then for a long time, I only slept with straight guys because they don't know I was straight guys. I mean guys who don't They're secretly gay. They don't want to drag race like they they I'm ready to meet those on the app or something in the wild girl No, they saw your tricks him until drag and said now I want to bang that bitch. Is that what was it in a drag? Oh, okay But I'm saying these are guys they saw you ball headed and said now that's the dude. I want to lay. I guess I'm not even that great, but I've never had problems finding sex. No, I think it's complimentary I don't think it's hard to find sex in this world, but with a straight guy That seems like it would just take like a lot of most desperate Because they're like really watching point hub and crying And then you come along and you're half interested. They're like we're doing this right here in the parking lot of the lucky Changs You don't mean it's like no, I don't know what you mean, but you don't hear you sir. This is a sprout pull your pants up You know, they mean let's take a break And we're back You're kind of a monogamous um relationship I think you know as Yeah, you're you're a relationship lady. Oh I am now. I mean, I Thought you've always been like a boyfriend girl. No, not really. I'm a Capricorn. I'm in love. You keep saying that Okay, yeah, because you know why I think because I'm really learning about that. I'm like really reading You get really L.A. now girl. Yeah, you get really L.A. now to be fair to be fair I'm like, oh this makes sense. Oh my god. Okay, and then some days for fun. I'm like read your horoscope tape Just see what it says. Just see right and I'm like, oh god it does, okay You don't really pisses me off recently I said to Brandon my sister and I said would you fuck Ted lasso? You know Ted lasso And he goes you mean Ted lasso or Jacob or Jason Sedacus and I said either he goes Yeah, and I go then why does it matter? Why does it matter? And I guess that's what I mean with Capricorn if I don't know what Capricorn is I guess I've lived in LA so long. I should know what they all mean. Wait. What are you? I'm Virgo first day of Virgo Virgo a Capricorn is your partner or Capricorn? No areas Interesting. I don't know, but you got to know the rising but I've had with like all areas. I've always been with areas is Really because they're hot They're hot. Is that matter to you? No But they're all hot. What is what matters? What's most important? Let me be Barbara. I'll just what matters most to you in relation in relationships Particularly a partner a potential partner That they have their own jobs and ambitions and like things they want to do with their life and Trust Yeah, that's a Virgo because I think I've always had a Virgo boyfriend. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah, it's a mess, right? No, no, not at all. What's important to you in a relationship? I definitely need someone that has their own life their own life. Yep. Yeah, you know, you need to be ambitious and truly Capricorn is married to their work and Someone that can understand that that can be patient understanding. I'm also You know most fascinated layered. I'm a complex person clearly very very very So my partner you never know what you're going to get at home. I mean, it's a little it's a lot of things And if I take me a two milligram edible. It's lights out. I mean, oh, yeah Oh my god, too girl. That's like a baby telling all And if I sit on my couch and I start ordering insomnia cookies At 11/30 you know it's going down girl and my partner then if I start going in my antics he'll come around the corner honey all right We're okay if I get oversimulated. I'm in the living room. You show the look how the labesh just nasty ass fucking rotted. Or I just start going He's like Justin from a two milligram edible girl. I love it. And then I start saying honey I'm gonna create this this piece it's speaking to me and I'll get up doing gestures. Oh, no, I'm the same way I I get high. Let's have a sleep over I get high on my coach and get really in the zone creative like I just Will make and then I wake up a literally wake up and I open my computer. I'm like, I guess I made this song last night And I find out what I made but where is Mitch McConnell where is she She comes to mind a lot too girl I saw this video of you and that's it. What is this lady doing it? It was absurd and the wind was blowing and you had on all this You were having gay and it was fun. It was funny and camp and then you go Where is Mitch McConnell? I think I had to rewind That's the part. It wasn't a bit. I wanted to know nobody was so good for it. I said that would be me some gay guy standing there goes Dead and then he leans in the gay guys ear and goes Mitch McConnell and they obviously start talking about it. Um, we have to talk about James Tolerico. Oh my God, you know, that was crazy. Wasn't it? I loved it. He did not say like he loved you like Oh, just some girl. He said it like thank you. Finally someone asked. Oh, let's add words like he like he'd been waiting for years for someone to say it And I love him. He goes on Fox and does not give a fuck and he loves you. He loves you Yeah, here's the thing. He also answers every question and he's walking off he could easily said like, you know, I got to go or something but I mean I thought that was really nice and kind and but don't you feel like Texas is this weird mix of shirts conservative in some areas but Texas to me is like drag Central Texas always been legendary amazing and celebratory and celebrated I feel like even my conservatives don't they love the drag queens. I mean a lot of I believe drag in Texas is so big. So it's weird that it's kind of conservative Texas is evolving. I mean we really are evolving Because we're coming around. We're coming around. It's like Australia. Also we're in 2026. I mean, I think people are like, you know, okay, here's the thing I think now We're getting in leaders and up and coming leaders that are progressive right and that is so good Really? Yeah, look at me. Yeah, just queer people want to feel ultimately just safe and seen in her. Yeah Like girl, we're not trying to fucking come up in your kids elementary school and do a damn drag show, okay? I've ever read to the kids What the books like reading and reading the library Um, now I've never done that. I've never done it either because again as much as I don't want people to have the right to do that I feel like we're good examples of like drag is not a monolith You will not catch me at the library reading to children You won't catch me there. You won't catch me there. It depends on what that uh check is like Even for the check I want a few things where I'm like the thing is I respect kids and parents enough to be like, don't book me, I'm in a swear. I'm an, I don't, I'm going to be tricky. I'm going to be tricky. I'm going to say gross shit. You're going to ask where Mitch McConnell is. Right. I'm going to ask the first question. I'm not going to be looking at you like, who the hell is that? And then you're going to pull on a photo. What book would you read to the kids? Because I think I would want to read like, I would read some Dr. Seuss. I think as Dr. Seuss as a child, it gave me a world of belief. And it was like, creative, imaginative. And it was like, you know, fun. I like that too. I think I would want to remember the rainbow fish book, like the little rainbow scales. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like that. Okay. Or that caterpillar book. Remember that book? That big watercolor caterpillar. I feel like the kids are losing touch with the standards. But you know, TikTok says the kids can't read now. They can't what? The TikTok is full of teachers saying that high schoolers can't read now. Well, that's awfully sad. But they can dance. Oh, yeah, they can dance. Oh, yes, they can dance. I these little kids until. But these kids can let me tell you something that I find that all that they can't read because they're so electronically inclined. Right. Definitely decline. I mean, these kids can take a dance class. I'll say, break the six year old throughout their, you know, doing a post, listen to my notes. I'm giving notes. And I'm like, what are you doing? What are you typing? You can't be that important. You're like, did you just do a post? Yeah, they can go out there on water break. Six year old tough phones. Am I naive? Do really six year old tough phones? Yeah. We got to talk about our backyards because every time I face time, you were both at home, you take me in the backyard. You said, look at this shit. Why would I leave? Because I'm always like, what have you been up to girl? You said, I'm not going to leave the house. I'm here. Look at this. Look at all this. We have Oasis right there. Yeah. We built what we needed and wanted in life in our space. Yeah. It's nice to have a nice backyard. Do you like to entertain? I love talking about it. Listen, I am a lady of a certain age. So I like gang nights. We like, we have our little small group of friends. That's also a capricorn thing. And we do like gang nights and I do like an activity as I get older. We can't just be sitting together drink. I need something to do. No, I did just say worth a squeeze because the next day you wake up and go, gosh, damn, I got a headache. I'm trying to go to my berries boot camp class. I'm trying to get some. Were you ever a drinker really with party girl champagne? Apple pucker shots. Apple pucker. Back in the day. Back in the day, girl. Give me that sour apple. That apple pucker shot. Please. And I thought I was turning it. I thought I was turning it. What about fireball? Oh, that's too severe. I still love problems because I'll go days where I'm like, I don't really drink at all. I'm so overdrinking. And then I'll get a wild hair at like 4 p.m. on a Friday where I'm like, no, when I have to go to get a tequila shot of this restaurant. No, when I go to a restaurant, I'm going to have me a slushy margarita. Hell yeah. Sangria swirl. Sangria swirl. I'm going to have me a Sangria swirl and I'm going to enjoy it. Yeah. And if I get the second one, my partner's like, here we go. Here we, I'm getting hit. She's lining up for the pitch, bitch. She's lining up because girl, it's going to be, it's going to be theatrical. How did you meet your partner? He's on Tinder. You said he's a psychologist. Yeah. Okay. And you met him on Tinder. I did. And you knew right away. I think sometimes from the picture, you're like, I need that one. No, I need to hear the voice. I need to see how they act. And I also need to see like, what's their temper, man? And I, there's, there's, there's a lot. Right. There's a lot. You don't have a type. We went to the Arbor. Like, you don't have a type. You're open. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. I have a type as far as when it comes to like, I guess, I mean, so we have like a, what is the storyboard saying? So I guess I mean, some people, they're like, my hard and fast rule is like only young, only old, only tall, only like, whatever. Can I tell you a funny story? I can't believe I'm going to say this too. Because we were talking about Grindr earlier. We never even had the top and bottom talk. We were on our first date. This is a true story. This is going to be my memoir too. And we were at the Arbor item. And, and we, you know, at this point, we know now we need to be intimate. Was when I was, I was on the, I had my show on the west end. So I lived in London for like that month and a half. Right. And we would face time. We would talk and we, you know, being his work. We did, the New York Times has 50 questions to get to know your future potential partner. Okay. Like a intimacy test. Yes. I love just like that. And we're learning, we're learning about each other. And so after the Arboretum, we're like, okay, we know we have to be intimate tonight. It's that time. Uh-huh. And we get in the bed and we start playing musical chairs. It was fucking hilarious. And he's like, just me is switching me. And after like 20 minutes, we both just look at each other. I go like, what's going to happen here? We both just started laughing. We're like, we didn't even ask, you know how some gaze, we're talking about size matters. Uh, this matter, this matters. The prerequisites. We did not even do any of that. We just liked each other's people. That's the notebook. And it is kind of, I mean, you are you. Oh my god. It's a love story. It's a love story. Oh my gosh. I mean, I think because my partner I have now, we didn't talk about that for a long time. I don't need to see Dick's first. I don't need to know positions first. No, I didn't. That is so much less important than the vibe. That's a Virgo trade too. You think? Yeah, that is. Is he a Virgo? No, no, my partner's a Scorpio. He's the first. Oh, that, you know, I haven't had a Virgo, but like with him, but it's great because I feel like when you're on that level and you learn about them, they're more than just your lover. They're your partner. They're your person. They're your bestie. You're homey. Yeah. You know, we love to travel. We ride our bike around the lake two times a week. We went hiking. We do. We, we, we love being with each other. He's got to, he's got to be pretty active to keep up with you because you're doing shit. I am. Yeah, he is active. Does he bother that you travel because of work and stuff? Is that okay? No, no, I mean, he's very laid back. It's hard because that's something you almost, that's almost more important to talk about before who's fucking who is like, did you know that I travel? Yeah. Is that a problem? Is that a problem? No, because traveling for work is sort of like that's going to happen probably forever. Yeah. So we might as well know about it now. Is your significant other okay with your traveling? Yeah, understanding, well, clearly has to I take him. He's, he works remote. So I just take him with me. Oh, no, Steve is like opposite. He said, honey, when you put the eyelashes on, I about face and exit sage left, because there's nothing I can do but other than get in the way and I'm not getting in the line of fire. I'm not getting in the line of fire. I think you're gorgeous and hilarious. Has he seen you in Dragon? He's like, wow, Gorge, amazing. Is he amused that you're famous? Because they should have times for partners. They kind of get a kick out of people recognition at the airport and stuff. He doesn't ever say anything, but on dates, if it gets too much, I've started to feel bad for the person I'm on the day with. I am too. Well, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. I feel like it's not the fans fault, but I start to feel like, what if they think that I'm not with them here? Yeah, they just don't know the lines sometimes. For me, most fans or people that have enjoyed what I've my foolishness on television are really respectful, but I remember one time we were on a date and it was a very nice sophisticated day. He's wearing a suit. That's sweet. And this guy comes up and he's like, I want to let you know from the south. And you represent all of us so well. And blah, blah, blah. So very kind. That's really sweet. I was like, thank you. And I put a button on it. And they said I want to meet my husband and our son also. And so he pulls up a chair. Oh, okay. And so now my partner is like, I'm okay. This happened to me once with Courtney act. Me Courtney act and Kati were sitting down in a fan came up and whispered said, it's like I love you and then grab the chair and Katia luckily because I hadn't done therapy at the time. So I just froze. But Katia goes, oh, no, no, no, you can't sit down. Oh, no, no, you can't sit down. And I was like, thank God because Courtney act to probably like, and they probably let me sit down and they probably left. Oh my god, Kati, tell me I couldn't sit down. I was hilarious. But also like it crosses a boundary. And then I never want to be the bad guy. So the truth is if you did sit down, I'd probably say nothing we'd be stuck here all night. So it's like, I don't know. I don't want to be awkward. But again, you're on a date with your partner. You are. I don't want my partner to feel like I'm splitting my time two ways. Yeah. And I know I'm awkward. And I know that my body language probably was like, now hold on. Right. This is a table for two. And we're dressed up like, yeah, we're in a very nice sophisticated four-star restaurant. You just this is a hearty came up over here. Oh my god, they're probably watching this right now saying she's talking about me. No, they're not. They don't watch me. They hate us. Okay. And I have my phone right there. I'm gonna show you guys a little bit. Can I tell you another funny story? So. Oh my god, I'm going. Do you love Disneyland? Oh, here's this on vacation. Oh, do you love Disneyland? We're huge Disney. You are actually, you know, it's actually funny before I was doing this. I was gonna ask if you weren't. We're just at Disneyland. You're lying. You're lying. She's never been. I was like, Juno, we're going to Disney. We have season passes. We go. So look. I got all the outfits. There's I mean, oh my god. Wait, let me zoom in on them because you're flipping through girl. I haven't seen this person before. Give me a second. Go back to the good picture. Jacob, are you bored or something? Oh, he's adorable. Are you kidding? That's sweet. You guys. What's the suitcase for? It was a prop for the visual. Why'd you bring a prop to Disney? I didn't do that. That was a professional photographer right there in front of the Hollywood Tower of Terror. Oh, I was like, you bring up. Clary, Clary, come to Remember that post you did that said "Suitcaseful of Dreams"? Probably Probably there's this picture of you that you put on your Instagram. It's you and like a maroon like mock turtle Yeah, we put the dance company you really liked that wow. You got a gig what are that are you kidding? I Su-case And it's a su-case full of dreams. You are But that's why I thought you could have brought that to you thought I bought my su-case The Disney to be Mickey bitch for the mean great. I came rolling up in there girl Can I make let's make a pack? Let's go to Disney together, please because I love Disney I love we we go something we're going to get in November where we go so many times If I'm just such a big kid people do crack. It's not it's okay. Just like I'm saying. Oh, well That's I think there's worse we went from meeting Mickey in a su-case full of dreams to people do crack I'm saying there's there's worse things to do with your money than go to a theme park. It's okay Yeah, it's as often as you want. It's good for your walking. It's good food and drink your mental health make a memory mental health What's your favorite ride well-being favorite ride? Tower of terror. I got mine's guardians. I fucking love. Okay. That it's a close. It's a close. It's a tie Yeah, do you go to the Florida one? We go to both. Oh, I only go to the LA one You've never been to then you got to go to Florida with me. Yeah, I do. Yeah, Franky Grande loves it to we went on tour together We were talking about this you got you don't go to Disney world. It's so far. No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not gonna say what I really think what Said You think I'm up it. I love Disneyland is the original But Disney world is the main course Why is that as a controversial? That's okay because people get very passionate about that and I love the Disney land I you know Disney world for me you go down Main Street and you see the castle But then you get a Disney where you're like, where's the castle? No, I heard like right there. I said that's a duplex Yeah, where's the castle? There's no way people people have told me Disneyland has like the old school vibes that they Like yeah, I mean, I loved it. Listen, we just went to Disneyland literally last week. Yeah, and you can do it all one day Which is nice like you do it all in three hours if you do a VIP tour. Yeah, do you yeah love the tour? I mean, that's all I can I mean I said you spoiled it's the best way to do Disney you take ten of our fans You can never go back and do it that way you're like you're gonna stand in line for one hour I'm like good you get on the Tower of terror and you ride it six times in a row in a row How do you want and how many times you want to go that's it? I love it. I know everybody's right until you're sick Everybody's gonna be judging us whistles. Here's the thing get ten of your friends. You split the price It's like $750 an hour. I should work for Disney at this point. I should be a Spokes model maybe we could get a gig with Disney showing like a listen tricks the top five things you have to do when you go Because I love what would be your top five then quickly quickly. Okay. I think I think Indiana Jones is always worth it always always It's actually broke right now. It's being refurbished at Disneyland. So that's why I currently. Okay. Okay, so you're not riding Indiana Jones I'm very sorry. Okay, guardians Absolutely if you're a thrill secret. You love thrill rise. It's a funny right and that's great music. Yeah, great music Okay, what song do you always want? I always want roll the world. Oh, born to be wild. Oh, okay Okay, okay, and then you see a silhouette plug. Yeah, okay. Yeah, what else do I love? I love in credit coaster I love in credit coaster to three two one, but you never been to Disney world so you can never road tron. No What do you want me to do? I want you to go. Okay, I'll go. I'll go. Yeah, you have to ride tron. You have to Experience the avatar Land you oh my god. Okay. I gotta go. Let's go. You've been deprived. Please. I will go anytime anything we love to go I love Tom Hanks. I'm glad. I'm glad you came around because I was very like I remember sitting there. No, I love you. Can you imagine sitting in the middle of these two? No, what we're all three balls They're beautiful, but I mean, I'm bold and beautiful. Okay, but I love if I could I would suck the life out of Tom Hanks I didn't say that. Well, I didn't say any of that. I just watch as this knows nobody who watches this has a problem Finding it, but where can people find you online if they haven't found you before tell them at home? I have a Wikipedia page and You didn't want to listen if I if truly if I'm I'm kind of boring on social media, but oh that's true Because you said because you said you don't like to post you just said that Yeah, but I wanted you to be like oh no, girl. I'm so good. You're not boring because you remember my captions So in case the old dreams bye