All In with former UFC fighter Alberto Crane

kick this motherfucking meal lee what's happening beautiful people uncle joey here with his trusted sidekick mr lee syatt aka the cato and we have a special guest my brother from a different mother mr alberto crane how was everybody's weekend great it was a great weekend fantastic in kentucky how long are you in the city for tarzan till uh wednesday morning that's dc dc's next vegas little mini pr tour for the book you know what are you doing in dc uh a couple shows a couple appearances we're gonna do some uh some uh fun stuff yeah for sure i gotta check out where they're gonna have the the ufc card right yeah yeah let's see what's up you know over there that's crazy what do you think about the card ufc card yeah the white white house yeah the white you're gonna go i want to go but 2000 tickets gonna cost you 75 000 i heard it's free yeah it's free right yeah but they're picking right so you're gonna win a raffle no yeah they're not gonna give you that a raffle you don't have to check your background not everybody's gonna be allowed to go a lot of people gonna be brokenhearted there's gonna be a lot of white people there maybe 10 black people with one spanish dude and he better be like a uh prisoner of war or he's he's a president from another country or something just a regular black person not a regular black about it it's gonna have the high level washington people the president's friends you know and it's not gonna be like i was saying the other day look it's gonna be people who watch a fight that usually don't watch a fight right yeah you know yeah when we watch the fights in the apex i always felt bad for the fighters because i'm a comedian i feed off the energy as much as you don't think that's my 90 that's my bread and butter you don't have to talk to me but i can feel them laugh at me now i gotta take it and throw it back motherfucker take that it's the same thing so i was like man that must be the punches sound louder you know so even the guy hears it even louder in his ear but then yeah right you ever get hit in the ear when there's no music on it sounds bad yeah i think it's great i i know a lot of people are talking shit about it i'm not even talking shit about it we're not gonna be invited yeah i think it's great i i know a lot of people are talking shit about it i'm not even talking shit about it right and they're gonna watch it on paramount it's gonna be commercials for ice and fucking god knows what else i'm saying free cubans as well i i'm i think it's pretty cool yeah just the idea of to have it at the white house no matter what you think about anybody i don't it's just kind of cool i don't know i think like to be able i am surprised like they didn't have like a huge name maybe they'll get someone later on you think they'd get like like that one netflix looks pretty cool that one of the ideas come on yeah and then rousey but she she hasn't fought in like 15 years or something close to that they give it a fucking loot of money good for her he has in my 10 million right yeah something like that and then in ghanu and ghanu's coming back there's a bunch of people on that one you know i mean that's that's that's that card you expect right for the white house i would yeah and i you know but i do like this on paramount because i haven't watched it in years like i said if you think there's commercials now oh yeah with you know how to know the view listen everybody's going to be watching that's the beauty of it everybody's going to be watching yeah nothing everybody's going to be in front of that tv i'll be watching the president haters you're going to get the nazis fucking firecrackers you know everybody's going to hate no matter what you do you could feed a thousand fucking children for a year and uh yeah well you gave him stolen money who gives a fuck you know three people died i had to bring a boat of coke cuban from cuba with coke and fucking you know something but people always question no matter what you're gonna do and that's what this fucking whole thing's about right yeah lay it on me jack the starters give them the give them the background we go back 22 years i'm looking i'm looking at the longest yard 22 years in santa fe new mexico and he said i'm gonna come in and then he didn't come in in santa fe but fast forward um 15 years later yeah i walked in he shows up in burbank at the legacy in burbank he was supposed to do jujitsu during that filming he was going to yes because ivan salivary was there yeah i would go to bop sap oh my god he was there all the time we're hanging out yeah i'm honestly not because i was 100 plus pounds could you have done that at four whatever you were could you have done i would have trusted him the way he told me to get on the mat right there's certain people that sell you this and they have no idea what they're talking about right and there's certain people who fucking get it i know you got it because you said you were even they were giving you oxygen just to walk around is santa fe high yeah yeah yeah seven thousand feet so it's higher than a mile and a half right they had 12 meetings about my blood pressure you know yeah what do you as like a coach with someone who's that like because i was 330 at five foot three like i was just as fat like when you see someone starting out at that big i mean just man just feel out their their breath like how they're doing their mobility right see what they can do and stay with them there you know and then add to it little by little that's crazy you can't walk crawl whatever do something you can do something i don't know no problem whatever it is you can do do do it i couldn't imagine at my heaviest going to do jujitsu that's uh that's and and so you went how long at when did you start because you started a few years into me knowing you started 2011 on a whim at vmac i started watching those videos at night i get high and watch those videos and i'm like that eddie bravo was trying to for years right yeah they told me already but that wasn't it dog once i saw harger gracie that's the way to do it for a big guy like me it's slow pressure kiss him in the neck kiss him again move up another half inch another half inch and the guy knows it's fucking coming and now he got two things to do and dog i don't know how he does he just slips his hand in and then he sits there for another eight minutes and all of a sudden you just put the other hand up and it's all over the shot and you're like he just chose you to fuck out true story true story if you look at all his videos they're all the same he takes you you take him down something that happens is a scramble he's on top of you and once he gets that mount i don't know what what's his percentage it's fucking brilliant to watch that's it game over mount he gets that one hand in the collar that's it that's it and he sits there and cooks you he puts that fucking triangle he shifts over into that fucking garden and just fucking at that point you're like you know what poke a fucking finger in my eyeball it's oh i'm suffering here oh it's and it's i don't know anything about martial arts but i like the ufc and i know people call it boring but like when you're watching the ufc if someone can just take you down and hold you there it doesn't matter how good of a fighter you are if you can't get up the fight's over and it might not be the most entertaining but like you you win like i mean if you understand the game that's that's control right right dominance like look at gsp one of the greatest of all time khabib right yeah and then cam's out for the lately right like there's gonna be a bomb in new jersey that's a hell of a fucking fight i heard he said he don't want to talk to no goat fuckers during the press conference so they're scared of the fucking they're petrified of the fucking face off who said that i think i'm sorry who's fighting hamsa sean oh sean o'malley or or strickland okay oh jesus christ yeah he's that does sound like something he'd say i don't know the goat fucker or something like that you know he said that yeah he's crazy could you imagine translating that to khabib like there comes that there comes that i'm sorry to anybody but i can't imagine saying what did he say he said i don't want to talk to a goat yeah he said something else there was two quotes i don't remember the other one oh my god after that you didn't hear anything else yeah who does this shit but that's mental listen all i know is this i swear to god every week there's one night my wife's like i'm going to bed i'm like go go because i don't even want to watch this fucking tv show and i go in the room and i take my notebook out i get tuned up in the garage first thing i throw on i've watched it 300 times khabib against dr mcgregor oh yeah i watch that twice a week it's in my youtube feed and i watch how he held them down by the fence and all that and then the other fight i watch is khabib against the brazilian that could kick oh shit the kid that was training in new jersey with mark henry it was uh frankie alvarez and the brazilian that threw those spinning back yeah yeah oh my god it's gonna fucking eat me alive and i watched that fight and that guy was fucking people up with his legs and there was one point in that fight khabib was just trying to fucking drown him and you could see the fear in his face you could see it like he was like i'm done with this motherfucker that make you khabib beat the fuck out of him beat the Get the fuck out of him. Wizardly. Give me one second. Bryce? He was a fucking kickboxer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A Brazilian kickboxer. He trained and he lived in Jersey. Jersey, right, yeah. Yeah, but then he went somewhere else. He lived in Jersey. It was too fucking cold in the winter. Edson Barboza. Edson Barboza. Okay, okay. It was fucking mind-boggling. Mind-boggling. And that's when you see the power of you being able to take anybody down with the same stupid shit over and over. You train in a training camp for eight weeks. They know exactly what he's going to do. Your wife makes you do it around her. Yeah, and you go and Khabib will still fucking break your spirit. Not even underneath, your spirit is broken. And if he's punching, if he's punching, and he traps you in one arm and he starts hitting you in the ribs, that's a brilliant fucking thing. Knocking you down is one thing, professor. Holding a man down is another. For a long time, 15, 20 minutes, there was a few weeks ago that Max Holloway fought. And everybody, he just, I love, he was one of the first guys I loved. And he was so fun. He's still probably, I haven't seen him in a few years. He's probably still really good. He's very good. And the beginning of each round, he was so ready to go. And then, immediately. Oliveira took him down. I mean, what do you guys think about the BMF, that being the BMF belt, and him doing jiu-jitsu on him? BMF belt should be for, I don't know. What's that? You would think so, but a record's a record. You know what BMF means to me? Figure it the fuck out. I'm going for the BMF belt. If he's got me an Australian head scissor, figure it the fuck out. You know what I'm saying? Figure it out. That's what BMF is. Yeah. Me being the fifth round, I'm getting beat up, and all of a sudden, I get this guy in a fucking triangle. Yeah. And my leg is broken, but I still held him down, and I choked him, and fucking, that's what it is. He threw jiu-jitsu at him. And I bet Holloway prepared. What do you think? He didn't fucking prepare for that. Yeah. He knew it was coming that that kid climbs on you. That kid doesn't take you down. He just starts climbing on you. Right or wrong? And now you got his weight on you. That's it. How long can you sustain that? When your adrenaline is high, he wears you out there. He just fucking starts putting a hook in and starts climbing up your back. And right there, he don't even got you. He's got dick. He's still adjusting grips and shit. And all of a sudden, you go, well, I'm going to bang him backwards. Let me go backwards on him. Night, night. Because he's going to leave two hooks in you when you're not. He's going to get knocked out, but he's Brazilian. He's going to be doing that all their fucking life. He's still going to hold on to that, and he's going to wake up and tap the dude out. And he does that. Come on, Sully. My bullshit, you're a professor. What do you think you're doing? That's it. That's it. You did good. That's it. So what inspired you after Santa Fe? I saw you again at Justin Fortune's gym. And I watched you walk in there, and I don't know if you were fighting then in the UFC. You had moved there to train or something with the UFC. I was fighting. I think I went to one of your fights, where Rogan took me, and then I didn't see you for a bit, and I heard you. And I relocated. And the story goes, I called the school, because I couldn't find the schedule. You fucking called me right back. What do you want? Who's this? Alberto. Joey, what do you want? And I go, no, I want to see the schedule. And a year later, I walked in again. I go, I'll be in there like a week or so. You came to the door, and then I was on the mat, and you were about to walk away. And I went outside. Hey, Joey. Hey. And I was like, fuck. He got me. He got me. Come on in. Come on in. Forgot about that. I think you talked about it. Like, you would go and, like, knock it out of the car for a while? All the time. All the fucking time, man. You're fucking 50. You're out of breath. You can't figure it out. I'd have surgery on my nose. And you just really liked the art. I moved here, and it took me a year. A kid kept bugging me. A brown belt. Kept calling the house. You don't want to swing by me and you. Just real life. And listen. This is the fucking real. During the pandemic, I developed a fear. From North Hollywood. From seeing that black dude. From just seeing things I had never seen in this area before. And I had lived there for 20 fucking years. Okay? When you're somewhere for 20 years, and all of a sudden you see bikers living in the fucking circle. One day there's 2,000. You wake up one day. Like, what the fuck? You need money to live in this building. And you look down. There's 22 bikers. 22. Fucking bikers. And you're like, what the fuck happened to the neighborhood? And all of a sudden they bomb Hudson County Park. And there's a rally because they hit a gay guy in Minneapolis on your fucking boulevard. You know? It was surreal. It was really like you were living in a fantasy. And now looking back, it was all fucking staged. It was all a fucking ploy. All those people were just fucking employees or whatever the fuck they draw you. I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but I never saw a town change that quickly. I'm like, okay, I'm sorry. The edible's hidden. You had a fear. You came here. So when I moved here, the fear continued. And then I had knee surgery. And I was still, like, very fearful of things happening. I was still, I would go to restaurants. I'd keep my eyes open. I'd always be very paranoid. When I got home, I always took a shower, washed my nostrils out. It was horrible, guys. I was living in fucking, I was old. I wanted to see the world. I wanted to see this kid live. And now you're telling me I'm going to die from breathing on you? I did the knee surgery in January, right? And he kept calling me. Joey, come in. I know you're working hard. I know you're doing this, but come in. We'll do some closed guard, whatever you want. No, no, no, coach. Thank you. And finally, he called me every fucking month. And I never ducked him. I always picked up the phone. And something in his voice, you know? Come on, man. Come in. Come in at three. When do you want to come in? There'll be nobody here. And it was September 21st, 2022. The same night the Sopranos movie, that fucking movie came out. And I walked him to that fucking gym. You knew I was shitting pickles. But I remember when he got me in like a fucking side control. And he was breathing on me. I'm breathing on him. And I go, if this is COVID, it looks like I'm dying. Because this is fucking fun. When I walked out that door, the fear was eliminated. That night, just to put in perspective to you, the fucking car didn't put me in front of the premiere. He put me on the corner and opened up the corner. When I got out of the car, I had 2,000 people. And I had to walk behind the gate. And security had to pull me in. Right there, I'm like, I'm going to die. If I don't die from jiu-jitsu, this just fucking got me. And then you had to wear a mask. And the movie theater, that lasted 10 minutes. I'm not sitting here with a mask. So when I left that night home, I'm definitely dying. I'm definitely dying. So I stopped and got pizza. I pulled the George. I stopped in the city. You know me. And it was the best wings I've ever had in my life. It was two Puerto Ricans guys making pizza somewhere in Midtown Manhattan. Un-fucking-believable. The whole ride, I'm going to die. But guess what? Two days later, I called that dude. Because I knew the contact had pushed me through. The fear was gone. I was back. Back in. When he had me in side control and shit, I'm trying to hold on to his leg. He's trying to mount. I'm like, fuck, do I miss this? And then you just pick each other up and fucking you're sweating. And he tells you how he caught you. It's unbelievable. So I went back. I signed up that day. You know what? Fuck. We did like six or seven privates. And I wasn't going to go back to December. And I was having such a good time. And I said, fuck it. And I hurt my knee now. And I haven't been there since January. So I'm like. I've been a little depressed. But, you know, I got to find other ways to use an outlet. Yeah. Yeah. He showed up, man. He came back. It's good. Oh, and I tell people, when you want to know about a town, when you move to a town and you want to meet everybody like that, and I'm talking about connections, Jack, not some okie doke guy. Yeah, my uncle owns a club in Hoboken. I was like, you know, no, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about six-figure guys, state fucking people. That you don't even know. Like, that school was all Newark cops. And the Brazilian who taught it, he's, we call him the invisible man because he'd never show up. So I used to say, you're the real master of invisible school jiu-jitsu. You don't show up. He wouldn't show up. But I love him to death. He works all the UFC events. It was fun again. I had a lunchtime class like yours. Yeah, yeah. 18 people at the time. Nice. And we would just go in there and fuck around. And it was just, it got me out of it. It got me into breathing again. You know, it got the fear off now. And I didn't give a fuck who was choking me. I just enjoyed it. I fucking, not that I was going to pay some chick to choke me and stick a feather in my ass. I'm not ready for that yet. I got to find one of those chicks that has a chicken barn. I still got it, professor. What is it like to have him in class? Does he? It's the before class. The before class. I'm sitting there and he just walks up to you and then does this, you know? There's a sergeant here. before you know it there's a little crowd it gets bigger and bigger and bigger used to rock and then the party's old when a girl comes and everybody just breaks up we were laughing at his jokes that's and like it just i can't even imagine is it fun choking them out oh yeah it's fun to joke you out because i'll crack you up choking me out oh that's not fair big neck big neck big hands yeah so it's tough and i'll fuck with you like i'll go don't do that i'll fucking stab you in the lung they start laughing now i gotta i gotta at least wiggle out a little bit you motherfucker the kid helped me a lot he was a purple belt he's a great fucking kid you gave him a school now he has a school somewhere josiah no he's fucking that filipino white is your filipino white kid just yeah yeah but the girlfriend that was a certain circus she worked lived in the circus or something like that right i think she was in dance yeah she was a dancer what kind of dancing i don't know not a dance in the past her family was involved in something where she grew up the white girl yeah yeah yeah pretty girl yeah yeah she was she was she was in dancing she came to la to become a dancer professional oh okay why are you pulling my fucking leg for professor but he that guy helped you out you said who the answer is that boyfriend josiah he was very patient he let me drill with him and shit let me get on top of him sweating breathing heavy calling timeouts smelling fungi toenail he was right there he was the tracers you know and that that's right there that camaraderie but even when i joined that school over here my point was that i was a dancer and i was a dancer and i was a dancer and i was a dancer all of a sudden i knew where the best health food store was all of a sudden don't go there go here for acupuncture all of a sudden bro i'm a detective i didn't even know you're a comedian these guys just told me i can't believe you spoke to me for a month i didn't know you were a comedian these guys always tell me uncle joy who the fuck is uncle joey he goes you talked to me for a month like a gentleman he came back he gave me like a fight he's the governor's driver oh shit and he's like you got into a beef in jersey and he's like you got into a beef in jersey and he's like you got into a beef in jersey and he's like you got into a beef in jersey i'm your first fucking car he brings me like what's that shit everybody eats it was hot last year for a year they take it out of the ocean and they put it into jelly all different every sea moss every white kid he got into that but he also brings me tamales and coquito so that's a real puerto rican right there shout out to the boricuas watching the show do you have a lot of connections like in la could you do if you want to do something you could call a student that's it it's the the network right like jiu-jitsu like you just he said like it's the network right it's a network like it's the biggest network worldwide right anywhere you go in the world you got it you know anything you need yeah the chief of police burbank's training you know now so you know just all walks of life who you're fucking with in there and who you're in a trench with and who you giggle with and at the end you see him run change and come out with a detective badge and you're like i was talking about weed around him listen to this i got a chinese kid in my school and i met him on the softball field with his kids i got jiu-jitsu he's a fucking purple belt there you go and also he tells me he goes no i work for the fbi organized crime task force i'm like no shit so we exchanged numbers we're talking one day and i forgot what his name was but i had two of those names in my phone i just got a pound from california took a beautiful picture i took a picture of it and i sent it to him oh and all of a sudden like 20 minutes later he goes joey that's the funniest fucking thing anybody's ever sent me he goes he goes i was in a drug meeting as you sent me that i had to hide that picture i'll see you in class tuesday who the fuck knows he's a skinny guy that has tremendous cardio by the way when you roll with he goes don't go for nothing i want you to keep your heart rate at 130 and talk to me so that's why with him i would always roll the line last roll of the day because with him it's more of a cardio and he cracks you you're not getting around his fucking legs he's one of those i don't know chinese i don't know you should put like fbi on his contact or something you should like you should really i wasn't thinking you know who has a friend that's in their fucking fbi who i don't then last week you had someone else who was in the dea this is something my we have a cuban guy from miami that grew up here that's dea and he just backed up and we have somebody else we have the cop that arrested iceman it was a story you were talking and he's mick's husband he came on the podcast okay dude that's crazy i saw enough with the chitter chat what made you sit down and read the book i've dedicated my life to teaching and you know making trying to make a difference right and uh it's just another avenue to to do it you know share my story you know you have done your your your actually your podcast was the first podcast ever did yeah and uh yeah i was like podcast we're talking about i was like yeah just come by you know okay with you guys and uh you had me talk about talking about paddling a boat i remember that and then lagoon you know and people would steal my paddle and yeah let's go back to the island yeah pretty much you know what's the name of the book called all in and the beauty i like about the title is lessons i don't know off the mat because this is this is where the money is i know his background you know and i know that this is just beautiful picture this is a man that fucking look at the black guy i haven't had one of those since halloween 82 you know what i'm saying i don't do we want to know what happened in 82 82 82 was rough new york that was those bitches you know what i'm saying he was getting smacked rick james was running for president shit was crack alackman that that's a pretty cool but as much as you probably didn't like getting punched in the eye that picture is pretty cool like do you when you saw that picture like i'm fucking a badass you know it's like my my life i've always had kind of black eyes i'm always doing i'm always on the mat i'm always training i'm always you know mixing it up so it's very fitting for the book i think i like it yeah when santa fe summer 2004 you look very happy i think you're with your wife yes it was like the beginnings of something correct the movie comes out after we left santa fe i never went back down there so i didn't see and then i heard that you were back justin i saw you i gave you a big hug i was really excited what made you get out of the school business at that time and put it all in for the ufc i moved to la i wasn't sure if i was going to do another school i was going to do another school i was going to do another because it's a lot of work it's a lot of work and uh you know like you raise guys from day one and you know the black belts and i don't know if i wanted to do it again you know and uh and uh what i was like what do i want to do i was like well let me finish this fighting thing so so i started fighting and i started continuing my fighting got in the ufc one fight two fights you know and then just kept going and then randomly at this muay thai gym that i was training at the the guy asked me to do a jiu-jitsu and i was like i'm gonna do a jiu-jitsu and i'm gonna do a jiu-jitsu and i'm gonna do a jiu-jitsu class because i wasn't sure if i was gonna do the school right and i started teaching a class like orlando sanchez a bunch of the guys that are still training with me now were training and uh and uh they took them to tournament they all won and it was so rewarding like i took six guys like five out of six guys got first place and i was like man i have to do another school at that moment i was like uh this is what i gotta do you know and so one thing led to another i la if i was going to your school if i started going to your school at 13. now i'm 21 i picked up my hands i've had some amateur fights armenian i'm tough you know i'm tough those armenians are tough you gotta punch them three times you know and uh three times yeah not once three times and they better be all good you're gonna break your hand on one of them but you better hit them again even if you break your hand you better poke it in the eye they come back i'll never forget i'm rolling with some guy he's killing me at alberto's and the only thing i could do is hold on to his legs but every time i go to twist them i can't i'm buried under them but every time i try and go and i'm holding on to that pant leg then what's going on he goes you're pulling my hair i love that you like hair yeah yeah leg hand i'm holding on to the legs so you don't and i'm thinking oh my god i'm this guy up i don't know i don't know what i'm doing i'm just holding on to his leg and his neck and he's trying to put it over me and i'm like excuse me you're pulling on my hand oh and even that the culture like i said i was raised with armenians here in north berg and i was tight with one of them there was two of them both of them were savages so when i went out to ala in fact i told you my armenian drug dealer called me right but he calls me 11 o'clock at night i can't have that He's all fucked up. I'm sitting here at the La Bumba Club in Las Vegas. My friend wants to talk to you. You know, come on, bro. It's 11 o'clock at night watching the Honeymoons. When did you start writing the book, Professor? It was, you know, Anthony. Yeah. So his mom did an interview with me and just randomly, like a blog. That's how it started. And then some years passed. She's like, listen, I can't stop thinking about it, but I'd love to do a book with you. And that's how it started. You know, I said a quote in there, like all in, like I committed to doing this jiu-jitsu thing. And I was like, she had never written a book before, and I was like, let's do it. And it took five years. She wrote it, scratched it, started again three times until we got it. And here it is, five years later, all in. When you decide to be all in, what is the feeling that you have right now at that point? When you look at something like I did and go, guess what? I got nothing else. That's it. You look at it and go, I got nothing else, but I've been doing jiu-jitsu for fucking 10 years, and I'm a black belt. I got something going on. So it's the same thing. When you look at an opportunity, now you're teaching, and one day, I have the opportunity to open up a school and do this, and you know it's going to fucking change your life. But part of you is a fucking pussy. You're like, you know what? I'll just keep staying in my mother's basement. It's all going to work out. I'll get my own piece of property when she dies. So how do you know you're all in? Do you remember that feeling of being fucking humiliated kind of sort of? Yeah, like think about my story, my beginning stories, my origin stories. Like I lost a lot when I first started competing in jiu-jitsu. I was good. I was tough. But I don't know how to compete, and I put all of myself into competing and trying to be the best. And I lost for like three years straight, every tournament. How many tournaments in three years? Like 13. Damn. And that was a lot. I was sleeping in airports. I didn't have a lot of money. So it was like I put everything into it. And every time I lost, I had to come back and tell everybody, yeah, I lost, sorry. And I kept going. I shook it off, kept going. And I think it's those. People ask me, what are you most proud of in your journey? Like winning this, doing that. I'm like, well, man, not quitting those three years. And because when I finally won a tournament, I was one of the best like blue belts in the world. And I kept that all the way to black belt. And I would never have known that if I would have quit and stopped. A long time. So you wouldn't lose every match, but you wouldn't win a tournament. I would lose either first or second match. Brutal, brutal, brutal. And you went back to train on Monday morning, like it was nothing. Like that's it. It's a new week. That was last week. This is this week, motherfucker. Yeah. I had my pity party. That's when you start breaking down the weeks. Just give you, cause you know, if you break the month down, the whole, what happened last week and what's going to happen in six months, you're going to die pretty soon. That's going to eat your lives. You know what, when you're a savage and you're going for it, I only drift coast to coast, Sunday to Sunday. You want me that day? Call me that week. Motherfucker. This is coast to coast. And every day you got to get up and boost, you know, especially when you open up a school and you got mouths to feed and a wife and blah, blah, blah. And especially now, I can't imagine what it would cost to, I see these schools that are opening and they look like fucking fountains of youth who sank $8 million before the school even opened. Good luck. Recouping your fucking money. Good luck. Whatever happened to just the garage? Dope it up a little bit, put a hole in the fucking door, cover it. In the winter, cover the hole in the summer, open it up. Let's get some oxygen in there. Mats, mouth to mouth, one of those heart, and that's it. Let's get this party started. 85 a month and we're flying through the air in this bitch, six days a week. But now you're paying for, I got to walk stairs and ring a bell and fucking bow. And it's jujitsu. What's all the drama for? I don't care if you wear a mock because when I first joined, I was really fat. So I had to buy a judo gi after like three weeks. I'd walk in there like the fact that I had to enter the dragon and shit with a judo gi on. You were doing joey karate skits when I saw you at Justin Fortunes. Yes. In the back. Yeah. With that crazy Brazilian guy, Alibaba. No, what's his name? Renato, Renato, Renato? He opened up a school in fucking Orange County. Oh, come on, man. He fought Chuck Liddell. Man, I'm mad at the names today. There's a name, his nickname is a Cuban saint. And I keep forgetting them now, like both their fucking names. Come on, guys. It's not, and I'm sure it's wrong. It's not Jenna Jameson's ex-husband, right? No, no, no. It's not Brazilian, yeah. Oh, Brazilian. Orange County, Brazilian, MMA. Babalu! Babalu. That's a real person? Yeah, I had a company. I had a guy pay him $10,000 to choke me on camera. Bro, my neck wasn't right. For four weeks, I had like a cocaine twitch. I was like one of Rick James' fucking girls in his documentary. You see that documentary? Every woman has a twitch. One's got an eye patch. It's not good. And wait, who got paid what? Some MMA company. Listen, man. Paid you $10,000? Listen, I was living in a one-bedroom with 10 cats. And I did a joint karate video with two. And it was like, so I had this martial arts, new league. And I was like, oh, man. I was living in a one-bedroom with 10 cats. And I was living in a one-bedroom with 10 cats. And I had this martial arts, new league. They would compete with the UFC. And I just threw a number at them. $10,000. They're like, OK. And they're like, if you get Renato Babalu, we'll pay you an extra $10,000. Done. For his agent. We did it. And we choked me out of it. I didn't go to sleep or nothing. He was in the UFC at the time, right? He was in the UFC. He was in the UFC at the time. Yes. Babalu, he was fighting for the title, I think, even. He had already lost the title. Like, he had lost that fight against whatever. This had to be-- yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen a lot of videos of you. I haven't seen that. Oh. I wonder if that's even out there. We got to look it up. At least. They wanted to-- they threw in like a-- it was nice. I was starving. Me and my wife were starving. Dude, $10,000 to get choked out one time? Huh? That's it? Just one time? Oh, no, no, no, no. You and Uncle Joey. Oh, they choked you out a bunch? You know, yeah. I got them like for $5,000, $5,000, $5,000. And then they wanted me to go to Vegas for their first show and fucking do this and wear a costume and fly out of a drum. And I had some fucking coke dealer call them back, ask them for a bump. Give me $2,000. And the guy fucking came to the agreement. And two weeks before, he sent me a fucking thing. We can't get financing from Japan. We're going to hold off on the project. I already have a deposit. So I cashed it, and everything was beautiful. All those people were popping out of the woodwork when you shot videos in 2001, 2002. But not only interruption. Hit me, though. Where were we here? What's that? Where were we here? Where what? Where were we here? Where were we here? Man, I'm, yeah, I'm all over the place. Well, you're talking about me. Bob Lou getting choked out, Joey Karate. That's who I saw you again. Yeah, that's who I saw you at "Just In Fortune." "Just In Fortune," that's right. Shout out to that motherfucker. Still on. Still there. Matt Pacquiao's boxing coach, yeah. Yeah, still there, telling people to get the fuck out of my gym. I fucking hate you. Yeah. You were talking about coaching, and I haven't read the book yet. But when you're fighting versus when someone you're coaching wins, does it feel better? Is one cool? Like, what is it like? It's different, right? It's different. It feels better. I think, in a way, it's more rewarding when you help somebody win, because it's bigger than yourself, right? And when you, of course, when you fight and you compete, hopefully you tap into something bigger than yourself. You represent your coach and your teammates and stuff. You tap into that. But I think it's different. But they're both rewarding. But I think it's bigger when you coach somebody. For me, at least, it is. When you were getting all this together, what's one of the biggest struggles you went through? Biggest troubles for-- Struggles. Struggles. Struggles. Jiu-jitsu schools and all this, you know, that you do, because-- I think my whole life, right, competing, fighting, I was always chasing something, you know? You know, we talked, like, some months ago, too, you're busy, you're busy. I'm always chasing something, right? And I was diagnosed with MS. Multiple sclerosis. And this month is MS Awareness Month, you know? I didn't pass my last fight medical. So I did my fight in the UFC, fights in the UFC, 2007. Five years later, I didn't pass my fight medical. And I had these lesions in my brain and they, you know, treated me like my life was over. I was going to be in a wheelchair, this and that. And the silver lining is that it forced me to slow down, you know? And really enjoy every moment with my kids, with my family, with friends. You know? And just be present, you know? And not be chasing, like, the next thing. And I remember my wife was asking me, like, you know, "Are you going to be happy when you do this, when you do that?" And I was like, "Yeah, I'll be happy when I do that, when I do this." And she's like, "Well, happiness is a choice, you can be happy doing nothing, right?" And so it really forced me to slow down and just be more present, and it's made me a better person. How many kids do you have? How many children? Three? Three. Three beautiful, amazing kids. Amazing. I knew them when they were that, right? right and then uh before we had kids even yeah yeah it's crazy man you know that little gym and then you had like a kickboxing back there and then they started adding and then you built a tack fit in the back which we'll get to in a minute and this tropical smoothie place and there was a balloon shop in the corner of the school where they sold balloons the white belts when they came in i'm just teasing professors a fucking gangster man and he just and you sit there and watch this shit happen like i was telling somebody like it's very weird to talk to somebody like young comics they come up they're like how long did you think it's 10 years whatever the fuck it is you know it's that journey it all comes together at some fucking point and for you with the ms come on man god bless you there's people that get ms and tap the fuck out never mind open up a smoothie shop yeah you know teach tactical fitness classes you and that's where your strength comes from you get up every month i don't give a fuck you know yeah yeah they should be in vietnam right they should sit in vietnam you still be here with a missile hand yeah do it yeah do it or die trying you know like do everything i can do yeah life's short man i'm ready to live my best life i don't know it's uh life is short very and we're gonna take commercial break when we come back and talk about some new stuff and shit that's happening right let's take a five minute we'll be right back go pete and we'll be right back uncle joey here oh shit it's an incredible time to be alive baseball season is getting started and the basketball tournaments are popping off this week there's no better way to cash in on hoops action than prize picks that's right prize picks don't miss your shot get fifty dollars in lineups when you play your first five bucks instantly all right at prize picks you can pick anything any player any game and the best part is you can play in 50 states you heard me right 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saying they have a tremendous flavor don't try to quit cold turkey some help it's time to surrender reach for fume instead fume has already helped over 700,000 people so take steps towards better habits now it's your turn get a free gift for your journey pack when you use code church c-h-u-r-c-h at tryfume.com that's tryfume.com t-r-y-f-u-m.com and use code church to claim your free gift today it starts today guys get healthy okay i love you guys have a great week uncle joey stay black we're back bitches professor alberto crane's here dropping knowledge glendale pasadena burbank fucking well malibu cosmetic pan wherever khabib is from he's got a school everywhere give me a date give me a town i'll give you a school you know what i'm saying anyway don't you have a pizza place pizza place yeah i'll say jungle cafe that's okay i thought you got a pizza place uh that's not b the photographer he's got a pizza place what up though shout out to him and uh yeah we got a cousin we got a cousin some character in the room said this before little goat okay armenian pizza i love armenians i love fucking armenians you know like coke dealer your family i love my goof friend with all of them i call him my b but the whole no what do you call asshole not the asshole when somebody's in that habush habush i call people habush the only time i got pissed off was when i walked into the armenian pizza parlor in la under desperation they said they got a box of pizza sent to them with the slits already in them and they just put the cheese on them and they fucking threw it in there when i and you could taste that it wasn't there's something about food that's made together and there's something about like my wife's lasagna she can't do it you know she's not italian dog she tries it's still that prison lasagna no matter what she does i can pat her on the back i can hug her lasagna it ain't gonna work it's prison lasagna it's either good or bad if you're starving or you want to kill yourself i love my wife's cooking but her lasagna just don't fucking cut it and i love her i love her lasagna i love her lasagna i love her that she's american indian and irish what the fuck does she know what expectations do i have anyway i forgot where i was going with this story that's what i'm talking about i can't remember shit that morning perfect i could talk to you here about concerts people i mugged what i did with the money where it's hidden it's hidden under lee's mattress he don't know about it i gotta have my money and his money at the same time anything happens i pull the plug and then send that yahoo email where lee is what's supposed to be a secret i'm trying to remember how you got there where from oh yeah i mean yeah thank you that pizza was god awful god awful that pizza in burbank mr pizza on the corner oh my god i went in there one day it was just bread a little bit of sauce and a ton of cheese i mean like they just put a bowl of cheese in that motherfucking salad with a straight face come on guy i just boy i just go to the store and i'm like oh my god i'm going to go to the store and i'm like oh my god i'm going to go to joe's before i left that's all i would go joe's and hollywood boulevard we would just pull over on a tuesday like pimps fucking parking me and lee would that's the night he fucking was high and he kept eating the crust oh my god he looks up and he goes i love it when the crust is crispy i did he stuttered and everything he would and he wouldn't look up with both eyes like he was like when my cat my kitten had a kitten that would look at you with the pizza and growl at you at the same time oh yeah don't take that crust fucking 10 pounds he's growling at his fucking 18 pound gorilla but there's a there's brazilian pizza right brazilian pizza they put ketchup you put ketchup on it unless you want to go on the witness relocation plan you saw henry hill they put ketchup on egg noodles just saying just saying you know yeah give it a try george give him the history that's your assignment for the week you got an extra 50 this week fucking yeah no i want to hear about brazilian pizza the brothers the chain how they ended up in fucking newark i am bound yeah i am bound is great but professor i'm going to ask you a question before we move on because this is ms awareness month and i'm interested you know i knew what was going on with you when you got the prognosis or whatever they call it diagnosis diagnosis prognosis you know me i didn't go to i cut class that tuesday you got the diagnosis what did you feel in your heart well they treated me like my life was over and then i was gonna be in a wheelchair and uh showed me like the drug catalogs asked me what what did i want to take uh kind of i was in shock and then uh i guess just like in martial arts and fighting like you kind of don't accept defeat you know and i don't want to be a victim and cry oh my god you know i'm okay what's the solution right well can we back up for like a quick second what like what why did you go to the doc to the doctor like what were you seeing every five years in nevada and in california they make you do a brain mri for your fight license and so 2007 i got i did one because i was fighting in the ufc 2012 i was gonna fight on a local card and so they made me do a brain mri oh so you weren't seeing any any symptoms yet they just well i had symptoms when i when i think about it like i was there was numbness in my body i just thought i was you know a lot of years ago being hardcore and cutting weights and you know doing stuff that you know it's hard on the body right stress whatever and uh so you got the mri and that's when they told you they said we found you had lesions they had actually had lesions in 2007 but it grew a lot and uh and uh they said we need to more do more testing we can't let you fight on this card so they called me in the day before the weigh-ins and then they said you know hey we can't let you fight we need to do more testing and so i came in and did more testing testing i didn't do it let them do a spinal tap you know they did everything else and then they like yeah it looks like you have multiple sclerosis they work with the best brain doctors supposedly from usc and all that and uh they diagnosed me with ms you once told me something that i believed right when you told me you said that you doing jiu-jitsu helped you see your best and you were trying to get other people with that master to show up that you know put them together nicely so everything worked you still believe that today it's the people you know look like we're hanging out we're having a good time i'm happy you know i'm happy like kevin i got lee you got you know we're hanging out we're doing positive things you know it makes me feel good i think we're energy right we're mainly energy like if you look at an atom we're 0.00001 like mass like the nucleus and the rest were energy so how you feel it's great i love jiu-jitsu i love the people that i have in my in the gym the community and so it makes me feel good so it's it's it's gotta help it's gotta help i know it helps i don't know it's gotta help i know it helps you show up at all these benefits for ms alone even there i do i do an event you know like this like i like you said this month is ms awareness month so we thought it was fitting to kind of release the book this month you know christina applegate she came out with her book and i you know she talks about her her issues with with ms and you know there's quite a few celebrities that they're dealing with stuff the other girl that we spoke about really pretty girl from married children no the one from with justin she made that movie with justin timberlake and uh the fucking girl from buffy and not justin timberlake the guy that guy that ended up marrying uh fuck selma blair selma blair i remember i saw her report on one of the tv shows and i uh spoke to you about her how you know you're a fucking savage professor i mean it's uh it's uh it can be a scary situation but if you're in a fight if you're on the mat right and you're training with somebody you're gonna panic and and and what's gonna happen if you panic and oh my god it's over like it's over it's not over so i just i guess i choose to you know to to to find a way you know find a way to to win and i had uh you know it's my book too you know i uh my first thing was like can i ask the doctor at the time can i still do jujitsu and he said yeah there's no there's no you know it's the head to the head and so i said okay cool so i signed up for a tournament and i did one it was in vegas did two and i ended up going on a world tour all around the world like the amazon europe middle east asia like like world tours you know and uh i had like a moment where you know actually i got i had food poisoning and i competed and uh i ended up getting choked out and i ended up like throwing out throwing up after my first match and i couldn't eat it felt like i had the flu right i couldn't eat i couldn't drink anything and uh and uh the first guy i went against what i threw up after the match he's like you do the open weight and because there's three guys in the division the master divisions and there's this smaller right i qualified because i didn't throw up on the mat to do the open weight yeah and so i did the open weight and uh and uh he's like you know i couldn't eat i couldn't drink and i i was like okay like am i gonna well at first i was like am i gonna stay here do compete or am i gonna feel sorry for myself at the hotel so i decided to stay and uh i was sitting there waiting for a match maybe about an hour an hour and a half and i started to say to myself i believe in my technique and that started to make me feel good and so i kept saying it again and again and again and uh went out there after about an hour and a half and uh won my first match won my second match my third match then even did a couple more matches without food without drinking water because you know you feel like you have the flu right and uh after after that day after that day like i knew i could win you know just the power of the mind they showed me the power of the mind my thoughts how i think they showed me the power of the mind and i just needed to know how i could win and my next chapter was you know finding like tactical fitness you know um just the type of training you know applied neuroscience and uh that was kind of like the path you know it was like the next chapter and and finding the solution and you know i've gone all kinds of gone down this rabbit hole of uh of recovery and just trying to understanding the body like it did like a human dissecting a cadaver like dead bodies and stuff just to try to understand what is a nerve what is a ligament what is a tendon what does it feel like how does it work like what is a nerve you tell me what is a nerve right it's it's like liquid it's like it's like pudding you know and so so you know movement like your thoughts when you're stressed when you don't have mobility things tighten up and then you that this signal doesn't get to the area so all these things kind of come together right and the more you know your body responds it releases hormones and then because of the hormones things work better you know i mean so it's all connected right and so i just started to go on this rabbit hole just try to trying to understand the body so i could find like solutions and find ways to you know to to do it and so the movement part for me definitely was tacfit and like connecting my breath you you know you know the structure in the body you start to learn about structure in the body right breathe your breath connect your breath and all that and then the quality of the movement and all those things kind of laid down like myelin which is like the the rubber around the i'm not losing you guys you know but the rubber the rubber around like the wire so if you don't have that rubber on that wire you the signal is not going to get to the area and so that's what happens like with with ms is your your your immune system attacks your myelin sheath right and so the the signal doesn't get to the area and that's why people go end up in wheelchairs and you know things like that happen where you can't talk you can't walk um and so i just went down this rabbit hole and and uh that's been like part of my movement practice at least you know and then of course how you eat matters the people you hang out with like the you know you you're laughing you're having a good time you managing your stress right and i think even if you don't have ms right we should all be living that life you know and that's kind of the the ms has kind of helped me guide me in that direction less is more you know doing less you know is is you know choosing to be more present and just maybe a better person you know overall one of the things from your book i like with lessons on and off the mat you know i tell people this all the time i was never gonna be a world champion but the lessons like i joined jiu-jitsu within weeks i knew how to lose weight i knew i had to fucking go to a hypnotist to learn how to breathe i had to get nose surgery you find out all these things about yourself one of the first times i rolled a guy mounted me and i had to run out of the studio take my gi off and my pants off right on burbank boulevard take my dick out and piss i couldn't breathe i thought i was gonna fucking die and that makes you go home and think about a lot of fucking things you know that makes you go home and the mat for me was yeah like right now if you're over 50 you're getting ready to retire go to fucking jiu-jitsu don't ask questions go once a week until you retire by that time you get a little bite stripe and you go again these guys will fulfill your fucking every need from the minute you walk in there to the minute you walk out, they're fucking carrying your bags. They're fucking gentlemen. You know, the older other gentlemen, we were always helping. Alan Savage is 80 years old, right? Look, I would look at Savage and fucking walk by him embarrassed. Like, you're 53, Joey. Fucking Savage was 76 at the time. He was there at 9 doing something. Then Nogi at 10, he was choking some guy. And then from 11 to 12, he'd be fucking doing things with a dummy. He used to bring a fucking lunchbox like he was going to the beach for three days. His meals were broken up into three. What he ate when he got there, what he ate during. You know, you'd be rolling with him all the time. He's like, hold on, I got to eat my carrot and a half. You know, like shit like that. But that's why he's 78 on the mat. And that's how you have to be. The guy weighs, you know. 135. You throw your leg up, he flies in the air. So you got to be careful with him because he's frail. But just the fact that, you know, I know people, their dads are at home watching fucking daytime television. And here's this fucking guy at 9 in the morning doing some club. What's at 9? There's a tact with, there's a 10 o'clock, there's a Nogi, but he's there by himself. Right. Training with the dummy, sometimes cones, like street cones. Whatever, whatever is there, he's grabbing, he's moving, he's doing it. He's running laps on the mat in circles. He ain't going to live forever, but he's going to die with a fucking smile on his face. Yeah. And not in the hospital. Yeah. And it's not the fucking jujitsu and the arm bars. It's about the warmth. You get that warmth later on that you really need. And I'm not talking about, I'm not gay. Bryce is not gay. All right. This ain't about being gay. Just the fact that I know that man could kill me. Just the fact. I know if Lee gets on top of me, he could kill me. Yeah. In class, he's got me in an armbar or, you know, he's trying to omoplata on the street. Lee would fucking kill me. I know this for a fact. When McGregor, I was at your school when McGregor fought, he'd be ass. I would fucking get beat up, but I'd sit there for 45 minutes watching his black belt. In fact, you took pictures with a guy last week that was my all-time favorite black belt, the artist. You were at his art studio. Yeah. Johnny. He used to wear a hat and come to the overclass. He used to beg me, please. And I'd go, Johnny, I get off a fucking plane at 10. You guys are doing Sunday at 8. There's no, who the fuck is up at some, bro, I went to that class. He was one of those guys that you thought you were about to kill him, but then he put you in a trap and he held you there for fucking 18 minutes. And you're like, how do I get out of this? He's like, I'm not going to tell you shit. You're going to get out of it yourself. And he would pull the strap a little harder. You don't even know what strap it was. You don't even know. He would get his fucking sleeve. He would take my sleeve and put it between his fucking legs. I couldn't get it out. He would just trap my fucking things. It's not about the trap or any of that shit. It's at the end. I drop on top of it. Even though he could kill me, I give him a hug. It's two men sweating or a female sweating. And you get up and you're like, Joe, you almost got me with that thing. Your weight's getting better, Alberto. That fucking anaconda choke. Holy shit. Thank God I put my knee in your eyeball because I would have never got out of that. You know, because I had a cheat against Mr. Professor. Professor, I know, would kill me. And just knowing that, walking the streets now, you're looking at people. You don't know if they're a purple belt. That nerd you see with the glasses that ain't jumping up and down at the club or if he's taking Instagram pictures, they're all steroided out with the gold chain. That skinny guy would take three or four of those guys and choke them out within two minutes. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. And that's the humbleness you get when you walk into a jiu-jitsu studio. Right or wrong? Yeah, that's 100%. And that was what I got in that school. It makes you want to come back. The addiction is an armbar. The addiction is a camaraderie that you don't find anywhere else that you have to pay for to have this camaraderie. Now you're getting the role. You're a blue belt. You're getting the role with a black belt. Who's going to smash you? But he lets you work. And at the end, the last minute, he fucking, you know, you feel your eyeballs coming out of your head. But after he gets out, he fucking tells you, this is how I got you. This is what you're going to do next time. You can fucking barely breathe. This guy will throw you back on his back and fucking, this is what you got to do. Put your hand here. See how easy this was? And that's the camaraderie. You're never going to get anywhere. And the next thing you know, you're next door eating a smoothie. That's the shit you did when you went to high school. Played basketball or football afterward. Eight guys go next door and sit, you know, and that's what you provide. That's a, if you walk into a lot of jujitsu schools, they don't have that. When you were there, you were confident because at lunchtime, there were three nurses, two doctors. I knew I wasn't going to die. Three Filipino nurses, bad motherfuckers. A little chubby brown belt. He's now a black belt. That was my brother. Shout out. Ron, Ron, Ron. Ron. And then the woman who was a purple belt. And Jeanette. And Jeanette. And then black belt now, yeah. There was the thin guy. How you doing today, Mr. Diaz? He was the thin guy. Gus, Gus. He came in with a bag 10 after 12. Gus, Gus, yeah. Then he became Superman. Almost. He came in with these greasy glasses. I'll be right back. And all of a sudden, he come back in, you know, and it's dynamite. You're like, fuck these guys coming at lunchtime. They're eating like a cracker with a sardine for lunch, running back in their car, eating it as they go. They're getting in the car, and you're like, I thought I had a hard day. You know, it's different, guys. I love what you provide. Thank you. Thank you. It means a lot, you know. I really appreciate you just being a part, you know, those years you were. I loved all that stuff. It's really great to just be here in your side of the country, you know, in your neighborhood, you know. It means a lot, really, after all these years. People come and go. One of the times I was really upset. Because, dog, I don't go that much, but it'd be an excuse for me. You were in Staten Island. You're 25 minutes from me. He was 25 minutes, and then he's dropping all this fucking Staten Island shit. Rico Rodriguez, you know. You talk to him yet? Who's that? Rico Rodriguez. I did, yeah. He's out here now, right? No shit. Have you spoken to him lately? I get pictures from him and calls from him and chokes from him. Hey, come visit me. I'm in Newark. You got to come through the back door. You got to come through the back door, and you got to hide from the landlord. You got to climb down a latch. You're like, that's all. The last thing I want to do is get arrested for going and trading jiu-jitsu. Well, he's got a lot of heart. I love Rico, but I had no idea he was from Staten Island. And what happened to his family was Italian. They adopted him. Just fucking tremendous story. We got to get him on here, but he's got to come in with a tamer. Yeah, he went to high school in, I think, Tottenville High School. I was a Wagner High School, and his coach, his wrestling coach in high school was also the soccer coach. I played soccer in high school. And so he was always trying to, actually, Mike Bonavita that was just here, he was always trying to recruit him to train with Rico at Tottenville to have another heavyweight to train with him, you know? So it's like a small world, right? Kind of small world. But it's crazy that out of all the places, right? He's in Staten Island. He went to high school, kind of the same areas. UFC champion, right? ADCC champion. I had no idea Staten Island was even involved in this game. And then my neighbor said to me, oh, yeah, I went to high school with Rico. He goes, let's call him up. I go, you got his number, too? Holy shit, he can do that to everybody. Yeah. But, Professor, you know, I've been here going on six years. We always stayed in touch. I follow your life dramatically. On Facebook, that's the general pictures from Legacy. And, you know, I follow your Instagram. And there was like a year there where I think about you. About to pick up the phone. I learned, you know, he's in Japan with his family. Next thing you know, he's in Hong Kong jumping out of a plane with his family. Two days later, he's in Budapest. I was sitting there. He's in Burbank. Like, nothing happened. He's at the school for the lunchtime class. And you see those for three days. The geese. This is the party of Legacy, the Christmas. All of a sudden, he's back in Armenia teaching jujitsu to fucking savages. And then, so for a while, I'm like, how is he doing this? Eight schools, this, this. Well, one thing I know is you appointed your own trained black belts at those schools. And they know what you teach and how you teach it. And that's why. You got that whole area on lockdown. And I congratulate you because I saw you in Santa Fe. You saw me. What? I was 418 pounds. I couldn't even take my shoes off to go into your studio. I would just sit in the corner and he would always come over. But let me tell you something. You walk. If you're a chubby dude, walk into a jujitsu school 10 days in a row and watch how they'll talk to you. It's no contract. Oh, get on the mat. I got to have a gi in the back. We got water. It's just me and you for 30 minutes. Let's do that. And by the way, that guy, like the first 20 minutes, you're like, I'm not coming back. I'm not coming. Actually, you know, you're there for 45 minutes. and he's teaching you something new on how to breathe. And now you're leaving and you're like, I'm not coming back. But that guy was real. That dude was real. He cared for me. He was supposed to be half hour. We're here now 15 minutes on his time. He's late to go pick up his kids. That's a guy who loves what he's doing. Like class would end at 1 and he'd make me go to tactical fitness and, bro, my shoulders got loose. I still sweat in my mother's grave. I did it the other day. The thing you taught me to do on the plane. You sit back, you put your shoulders down, and you extend your neck. You do that 20 times. And then the other one is you take your fucking neck and touch your chin 20 times. You told me to get up and just hold the seat in front of you and wiggle your hips and change your leg and press the calf because the calf was the heart of the lower leg. Come on, bro. Who the fuck did you get dealing with? I still do all this. You got the club bells? Yeah. No, I do the club bells still to warm up. Yeah. You know, I don't know. I know I go on the swings. You're trying. You're doing it. You're doing it. I do the stretches. Now I believe how much since then my shoulders are very, a lot more. I got to warm them up. You know, like tomorrow I'll go to boxing. I'll get warmed up, and then I'll do that. I'll have a couple like 10, and I'll do the swings and the fucking knees things. Now they're saying if you do them to the side, you lose your side fats. I'm getting ready for bikini season, Jack. Before we go, the name of the book is? All In by Alberto Crane, Life Lessons On and Off the Mat. I know this man personally, and I don't need to read the book. I know the story, but when I'm recovering from knee surgery, this is the first book on the list because I can't fucking go nowhere. So All In, Lessons. I bona fide. You know, I love my books. I love this. I love that he did this, that he had the courage to do this and everything. I'm not blowing smoke up your ass. This guy's the real deal Holyfield. Where can they find this book? All the platforms, Amazon, Barnes & Noble's online. It goes on sale. Guess what? Oy, today. How do you say today in Yiddish? Oy, I don't know. Oy, you know, like, oy, oy. Three little, whatever. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Amazon, what else, my brother? Barnes & Noble's, yeah, all the platforms. Audio, any audio? It's coming soon. Who did the voice? It's AI. I read it. You fucked up. Oh, AI. Well, it's not. You want to do it yourself. What's my voice? It's actually, I don't know, pretty damn good. It's not done yet, so. I need for you to feel that heart. Okay. Okay, I got you. Whatever's written here, you have to stop for a minute and just go, fuck the publisher. Let me do it, because now you gave him something extra on the book. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. You're right. I'm going to fucking give you war for three days in a row. You know, things happen. Yeah, no, I did great with mine, because of that reason. I did it. People are already used to you from your podcast, which you still have your podcast. Yeah. You know, I want you to send all my love to the students, your wife. Thank you. Let's promote Joey Alvarado's last album. What do you think? That's my boy, Joey Alvarado and shit, swinging kettlebells like he owes me 22 bucks. What do you got left, dog? What do you got this year? This Wednesday, we're with Pedro, I think, in Garfield, New Jersey. Friday and Saturday, I'm with Jessamay Peluso in Fort Worth. I'd be glad. You're chewing shit, taking it back to Texas. And then first and second at Uncle Vinny's. Uncle Vinny's and Point Pleasant. Forget about it. Me, I got, hmm. Oh, shit. I'm doing the first April Fool's Day at West Nyack. I'm doing the ninth at motherfucking the Dojo. And then I'm doing the 15th in Brooklyn. The 18th, I'm in Nashville at the Nashville Comedy Festival. Then the 23rd of April, write it down. I'm telling you, it's all to suck my dick, because I'm having surgery. So I won't see you for a couple of weeks. I'll be busy drinking tequila with my leg up, getting a massage from a Jamaican woman. You know, looking for a Jamaican woman. I don't care how big you are. Come over and just massage my leg. We watch CNN and, you know, lean to the right. Don't have to fuck their lead in these type of days. Don't forget, seriously, from my heart, all in. Lessons on and off the mat, Professor Alberto Crane and Mex Hell, Duke Slabaugh. That's it. It works. I love you guys. Amazon, right now. Click it. Pre-order it. Is there a code? They get 10 cents off a gi, a hat, something. Hit me up on Instagram. All right. Tell them that you saw Uncle Joey. This will work something out. You might not get the whole book. He sent me the other book. That's the book. And then he gives me a new one. I'm like, you gave me the switcheroo. But I love you, Professor. God bless you. Thank you for being my brother. Thank you, guys. Thank you so much. We'll see you next time.