Ali Siddiq and The John Wick of Comedy

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Potential savings and it's like what well I wasn't even here everyone's like oh yeah yeah I heard you made that sound I can't figure out what happened and they're like well there's only so many people could be it's either Ali Wong Jimmy Oh Yang Bobby Lee Oh because Asian driver that's a really good joke oh boy that burned yeah yeah it could only be the three of us just take a look at the lineup and they go yeah the first check up on all right so anyway that's not what happened though what happened was the person I hit go well apparently I had people they're trying to undent it before the guy finds out which is me which is you which is which very noble yeah yeah and very um I like it it made it a henchman if you like a familiar they were so mad at me for doing that who was they management okay and don't put this in trying to undone oh no it's fun everything's fine no but I I will never play at the comedy store again if they fire you oh my damn it's bold is this going in yeah it is 100% going all right so then I asked him so then Joe calls me the manager of the condors it goes he goes I saw it I go what'd you see I what huh yeah and he goes the tape oh the person that I hit saw his car and said I need to see the tape I didn't know I didn't know there was Dave yeah your plan your plan my plan was a crazy yeah well I'll let you know also cuz your car before your car you you were notorious for like your bumper was always hanging off and your you seem like you're a pretty rambunctious driver to begin with I don't know you have a history I think yeah yeah yeah I have a history so I think it would have you you make you maybe bought yourself 15 minutes of innocent right I think it would have gone so then I'll tell you who not who the rats aren't okay Steph Tolove correct okay she was in the car saw me do it she was in the car not my not my car but in her car watching me do it yeah I don't know what I'm saying yeah right and her and her fiance looked at me and they gave me a wink like yeah like just move on yeah which is like you know respectful yeah right so I go home and they saw the tape and then but then Joe the manager said there's a couple of guys that said that you can hit him and I go who are the names right and he goes I can't tell you that as the manager I'm going to call them and I go okay and then I call Luke I go who ratted me out Luke right and Luke would not say correct and then I'm not gonna say who the names are okay I'm very very honorable yeah except I'm seven except for hitting someone's car driving away you're immediately immediately like there's a red flag no I'm the honorable one I'm the honorable I guess if there was no tape right there were no witnesses there's a mystery okay I guess yeah and I live in mystery but no tape that's the realm I live in it's a mystery realm it's fourth-dimensional no tape is one thing of like oh the camera angle we couldn't see you say no witnesses or do you execute people people saw yeah I don't execute in the way of the old times like the 16th century where there's a guillotine yeah yeah right and the townspeople show up and they witness no no I execute in different ways okay I don't like rats right right so a couple of people ratted me out that I hit car who's such a nice guy that's the nicest guy who very funny comic right so I called after I've been read it out and you know I mean there's a tape and I go what is it gonna cost me and he goes oh what is it gonna cost me and he goes nothing oh wow he said nothing do you know why he also lives in the mystery realm yeah yeah yeah you if you don't know what it means you don't know what it means oh but there is a mystery realm out there okay Alex knows yeah Linkin Park did that's a mystery band and yeah if that's your favorite band you'd live in the mystery world no because I go in and out to reality yeah so um you read the two names out I have it on a list I'm not gonna do anything I did not do that. Can I go upstairs and show you the list? Oh, my God. You were pressing me. You were pressing me so hard. I was like, oh, my God, what the fuck am I going to do? You know, it's such a, it's such, I'm like, I could not fathom the disaster that this has caused. It has nothing to do with me. I shouldn't be involved in this mess at all. You had nothing to do with anything. I guess. What are you scared about? I guess. I'm scared of you. Why are you scared of me? Because you're a mystery realm, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a leader of the mystery realm. I'm not, that was the worst lot shift of my life. Why? After that happened, I was so stressed because I was like, this is a disaster and I don't know how to play it. Was a little bit upset, honestly. No, I heard he snapped. He was a little bothered. Yeah, yeah. He was like, he's like, so everyone just watched Bobby hit my car and leave? And I guess the consensus was yes. So he was pretty, he was pretty, I think, hurt. I think his feelings were hurt. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to give him some time here. Let him promote something to you. What? Let him promote something. Yeah, you will. It was not me. Just hold on. Just hold on. If he doesn't pick up, he doesn't pick up. And that's the Lord's will. Mystery realm. I don't like. Oh, fuck. Okay. Okay, good. You will call. But later in the night, and I don't like talking about. It's on such a public forum because it makes me look really bad at my job and stupid, but I'm not. I'm good at my job and smart. It doesn't seem so. I read it. The fact was suggest. No. That you're not good at your job. It's got nothing to do with me. You're a freaking hidden car. You're the bumper cars in there with you. I got to like keep an eye on you 24 seven. I remember I left your car in a place where I was like, he could easily get out. There's no issue. He's never going to hit a car. Little did I know. You drive. I've kicked Sam Tripoli's car, which cost me $5,000. I'm known to do it. Yeah, you are known to do it. And let me tell you this right now. I've hit many cars there. I know. And never admitted to it. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And other. Okay. What are you going to do about it? Mystery realm. Mystery realm. Other comedians will get mad at the door guys who park the cars. Like, you guys are all fucking idiots. All you do is hit the cars, blah, blah, blah. Well, it's a small parking lot. Let's say that. It's tight. It's the tightest parking lot. I imagine. It's fashionable. You've been there. Yeah. Right? Yeah. When it's a pack, when there's a lot of comics on, you have to do a lot of maneuvering. Yes. Yes. And it's tough. People want to leave and rush to another spot. People are late for their spot. So people are flooring it in. People are flooring it out. It was one of the worst lot shifts of my life because later in the night, I was getting ready to go home. And long story short, another comic's car keys were ran over by a car. Oh, my God. Wait, wait, wait. That. That was last night? Yeah. Another person's what? Car keys. Got ran over. Ran over. By a car. Yeah. Whose car keys were they? Can this be bleeped out? Yeah, it can be bleeped out. Yeah. Okay. Bleep it out. Yeah. He was very nice about it. Give me the name. Okay. Okay. And this was on Juneteenth. Yeah, it was on Juneteenth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. Yes. And unlike Juneteenth, I told him right away. Yeah. Instantly, the news dropped. I told him immediately. Okay. Is that him? Okay. Get him. Wait. This. We got to switch topics before he gets here. I don't want this. I don't want this topic. What? I'm, like, sweating. I'm sweating through my shirt. I know. So. I know. We're going to. Why would. Why would that be a factor? I just feel bad. Like. How. So, you're the lock guy. Right? Yes. Yes. You're supposed to put the keys. Yes. Right? In the dashboard or something like that. Yeah. So, what you did was. What? Threw it on the ground? No. Like. Happy Juneteenth, motherfucker. No. Like. What is going on here? No. It was. I don't know how it happened. But. We give people. We give people. Is that him? No. Let me know when he comes. Because I want to greet him. We give people hill rides at the end of the night. All the other staff. We give them a ride to where you park your car. I've done hill rides. Don't talk to me like that. Who cares? I'm going to get fired. It doesn't even matter. You're not getting fired. I'll get you back. Sorry. Thank you. Energy. Energy. Focus. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm on a strict diet right now. So. There's no nicotine. It's just NAD. Yeah. I cannot do it. But thank you so much. I'm interested. But what is it? I'll take it. It's great. I'll take it now. Yeah. I'll take it now. Is it caffeine? Look it up. It's blip. It's for energy and focus. Nootropic. Is this a free ad? No, it's not a free ad. Okay. And it's a pill? Oh, it's a dip. Pouch. It's a pouch. I have a pouch. I already have a pouch. I'll do two pouches. No, no, no. Oh, my God. I'll double pouch. Oh, no. Oh, no. So. Do you care if I try one? Or do you want to? No, give it to it. That's yours. Give it to it. Give it to it, dude. I'm a human person. Thank you. So, anyway. I mean, Kali has no idea what's going on. No. There's a rat. You just have to know there's a rat. There's a rat. He's a rat. You're a rat? I'm not a fucking rat. I'm not. I was so. First of all, I'm not a rat. But also, I have so much respect for him. That 10 people are standing there looking at him. And he's like, everyone just let. Just tell her really quickly. Real quickly. All right. I backed into a car at the car store. Really dented the fuck out of it. And I drove away. And I drove away and left. Didn't say anything. Right. And I. At night. At night. I got a call. We have the tape. Yeah. Why'd you do that? Why'd you do that? I'll get him. And I was working. So, I'm in the middle of this huge mess. Explain. You explain. He's like, hello. What the fuck? How did this happen? Why did Bobby leave? Everyone's like so scared of Bobby so that they just let him leave. And it was kind of like, I guess. Yeah. I wasn't there. I was not in the lot at the time. So, I'm just being told all this information from like all these different random people. Like, oh, yeah. This, that. I don't know. By the way, I later find out Bobby says, oh, oh, I thought I hit the dumpster. The dumpster, which is like 20 feet away. Obviously, in a car. Obviously, there's not a dumpster parked next to you. She can tell you stories where they used to live where he's ran his Prius. He's ran me over. Of course. Oh, he hit her. He's also like, oh, people are ratting on me. Who's going to find out? You have a reputation for hitting cars in the lot. You would have been the first call. No matter what. Tadika's here, everybody. Hi. Hi, how are you? Hi, Andre. Hi. I'm Kalilah. Hi, I'm co-host. Nice to meet you. I'm Luke. Nice to meet you. 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I would also go to restaurants and buy meals for people that I earn with points just from paying my rent. So easy. No one got student loans. Student loans. Wait, hold on. Student loans. Soul cycle. Berries. Pure bear. Core power. Cycle bar. Rambo. Y7. It's simple, you guys. Being a renter and now owning a home is better with Bilt. Join the membership for where you live at jointbilt.com. That's J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T.com. Make sure you use our URL so they know we sent you. Find a rate that works for you with the Name Your Price tool. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Anything that you need, Ollie. No, Bobby. Ollie, welcome to the podcast. Honestly, this is the truth. You're one of my favorite comedians to watch. Thank you. And can I tell you why? Tell me. Your voice. It makes stuff. And my body vibrates. Oh. Oh. No, not in a sexual. No, not in that way. Not in that way. Andre? Well, what exactly? Andre. Andre. Hiding behind the body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. It just has like a very whitey, you know what I mean? Like a dark. He could. Just a really good voice. A dark, good voice. Anyway, let's. It came out. Why are you shaking your head, Luke? Hmm? Oh, no, no. Keep me. The whitest guy here. What? No. Just keep me out of it. I don't want to be in. Anyway, the reason why. The reason why is because your style of comedy is something that I've always wanted to do, but I can't do it. Your patience and the way you can control a room, right? Because I need to get a laugh every like eight seconds or do something stupid. You're telling a story. You have the room locked in and mesmerized. It's a type of talent. It's a type of talent that you're born with. I'm so needy. I can't fucking do it. So it's like, you know, you're just you're just such a good storyteller. You're such a great comic. Give him a round of applause. Let me ask you a question. Yes. If I may. You may. OK. Podcast. For sure. What'd you say? It's your podcast. You may. I can ask whatever I want. Why is Andre not even focusing? Yeah. Why? Because this is not Shea Shea? He didn't focus. If we were on Shea Shea, he'd be focusing. No, he didn't focus at all. He was eating like I looked over when we was doing Club Shea Shea. I looked over. He was eating fries. Oh, he was eating fries at Club Shea Shea. I was like, man, run this shit up. OK. So I know that you went to prison. Yeah. You've been, you know, you talking like you just met me. I've heard you've been in prison. Do you want me to go back to when we first met? No, no, no. We will go to our origin story. OK. I'd love to know that. Yeah. But I honestly never knew that you went to prison. Yeah. Yeah. What was it for? Even I know that. Have you watched nothing? Well, you explained it to me in Filipino terms. In Filipino terms. I don't want to explain it now. Because you don't know. Yes, I do. It was cocaine. Oh, I love cocaine. I do. I love it. I used to do it all the time. I'm going to imagine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's a Filipino term for that? Shabu? It's man. No, shabu. No. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I have to ask my son. My son was raised by a Filipino lady. Oh, really? And he may know. He may know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He may know. How old is your son? 15. Wow. OK, he'll know. He'll know. So how long were you in it? Six years. Now, was it, because I don't know much about it, OK, prison life. Can I tell you something, Ali? Why is it uncomfortable? Wait, wait, wait, Ali. I want to weigh you. I feel like we're going to. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Do we have to reset? No. I don't know what the fuck is going on. I think I'm being a good journalist. Did you say turtleist? Turtleist. I think I'm being a very good, mindful fucking interviewer. Yes, OK. And there's a vibe in here. It's Andre. It's going to stop, all right? It might be Andre. It might be Andre. Even when I said, like, his voice makes me. You vibrate or whatever I said. That was weird. It wasn't weird. It wasn't sexual. It wasn't anything. It was just through my body. And everything got weird. So what I'm saying to you right now is let's regroup. We'll go to our orange story. And everything will be fine. What the fuck is going on here? You said the thing, too. I don't think. It was the only reference that I could come up with in terms of that kind of storytelling. I only ask because I'm back. Now I'm back. I'm back in. Fuck. I'm back in the mode, dude. Back to Larry King. Larry King, dude. Yeah. Would I survive in prison? That's a good question. What was the question? Would I survive, Bobby Lee, in prison? Bobby Lee, no. For six years. Yes, you would survive. Yeah. In what way? Because I have no muscle mass? No. I think that you would survive because they would think that you were nuts. Oh, crazy. And it was like, yo, you would make it. Yeah. Because, you know, Bobby, you're talking about now. Now or then. No, that was in the early 90s. Oh, when you went. Yeah, 91. Yeah. And it was like cool then? No, it was dangerous then. It's very dangerous then. But, you know, they're doing TikToks now. Oh, I see. They have cats. Yeah, they have cats, TikToks. Yeah. You know, they're shooting videos. Yeah. Content, yeah. I don't know how dangerous it is, you know, when you're on the phone in prison. But, yeah. Oh, so they're able to scroll and see the news. I think they give them laptops. Oh, really? I don't know what they got going on. It seems like they are very well aware of what's going on in the world. Ah, I see. Do you think they watch pornography on there? Or they probably have that blocked. No, I don't know what they watch because I don't know what's going on. But, you know, when I was in prison, I was a pimp. Oh, okay. Yeah, for like six months. I was a pimp for six months. How does a pimp in prison operate? You get a picture of a girl sent to you from the world as a free worker. And then you just loan out for soups. Oh, nice. I love the soup. You know, you have the taper. You got to make sure that you tape both sides of the picture. You know, because they take it in the shower. You're like, yo, take my homegirl Kim, do what you do, bring the picture back. Who brings the pictures in and who are the pictures of? Oh, no. The people. You know, pictures get sent to you. Oh, those, yeah. You know, you tell your boys, hey, man, this is what I need. There are no Latino ladies in here. They need Latinos. You know, we need black. We need some hot white chick. And then you just come and you show a picture. And dudes be like, oh, I'll take that one. Yeah, and they borrow it. It's on loan. Yeah, it's on loan. Yeah, and what would you receive for the photo? Soups, chips, envelopes. Oh, God, the soups. Yeah. You got to get the soups. Yeah. Bone broth, maybe. Then they started abusing my women, so I had to stop, man. What? Oh, there'd be, like, stuff on it. Came back, her head ripped off. What a violent character are you? Ripping off heads of my friends. The crime that they committed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see, I see. It's resurfacing, guys. It's resurfacing, yeah. Wow. So that's good pimpin'. Yeah, good pimpin'. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody gets hurt. No one gets hurt. You know what I'm saying? I would laminate mine. No, we don't have no laminating. We got tape. You got to tape it, and you got to really stretch that tape where it's clear. It's a clear picture. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, okay. But it's a, you know, photos was good back then. Back then, yeah. Because pre-internet. But if I went in, I always thought that I would get, like, tossed around. Oh, I see. No, I'm little. I'm little. Five, three, from behind. It seems like you want it, like you're pitching yourself. Why are you selling yourself? Can I be in your pitcher pack? You got a Bobby Lee? As an option, as an option. Yeah, I got a special one. And then they're like, I already fucked that guy. I can't be in the pack? No, no. Why, why? No, I only got one gender. Oh, okay, 2001. I see. You would have to go down to the other end of the prison where they got PC and all of them. You guys are no different. All right, let me ask you this. If I offered services. What kind, Bobby? Oh, wow. You can't just say soft services? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Soft serve ice cream. Would you, would you? No, like, I give handies. Just listen to me. I'm not done with my. You put it on a menu? I have a menu. Bro, I have a fucking menu, dude. I have a fucking menu. All right, so hand is. thought about this way i have to way too much literally every episode he talks about prison he fantasizes about it yeah yo why is there so much glue over there i just saw all this glue i'm obsessed with glue i'm elmer's glue oh wow yeah yeah it's like my diddy thing you know yeah a lot of diddy he likes oil i like glue on and then slowly peeling it off like what you got going on yeah stuff like that yeah yeah yeah man um yeah i think that you would survive but so a menu you don't want to talk about talking about the fact that you'd be talking about yo i'm giving out handies they were like what the fuck is wrong with them oh so i could get nothing from them i can't get soup i think you're a little too thirsty what you can't just be like handies they would be weird i'm like i'm like yo what's up with those what's up with those you can't just be like handies yeah yeah no bruce lee is no chow lin that my name would be chow lin they would call you bruce oh they would there they go oh yeah they would call you bruce lee man look at little bruce yeah yeah because you know it was another asian guy and nobody messed with him but asian guys look a little tougher in prison than you think it's like it's not a large population and all of them small vietnamese guys yeah yeah a little you know little filipino guys these ain't the people that you want to mess with you know because they don't look friendly they don't look like yo i'm like you like you like you're going there combing your hair right or something like i don't know what you had going on but them guys look tough in there oh okay i shaved my head oh you shave as soon as you shave your head and put a dragon yeah i'll put a drag on my head yeah yeah or tattoo on your head oh shit lotus flower no i don't put the flower why why no you look no put something dangerous on your head oh yeah or how about like a a photo of pete hegseth secretary of war right and go america first above it oh they beat that one oh they beat oh that would be okay that i'm just testing it out no lotus flower no pete hegseth okay good america first i'm talking about your own people like you know getting kicked in the face what the fuck going on yeah yeah but you know bobby by the way i am a liberal and um john ossoff and uh james tiller rica are people that i'm really rooting for let's move on um where's our origin story um we met in houston at the houston improv love it what year is this shit 2001 holy fuck dude that's a long way back this is when you were mooning the audience i still do it you still do it wow yeah yeah yeah i still don't yes that's my clothes though that's crazy he was just working yeah yeah yeah um i forget the the lady that you had featuring for you but i was hosting because i was um coming up to the club that i was hosting and after the first show like because you did a weekend and after the first show wait wait hold on just give me a second is he thinking he's trying to think of the lady no no no you already remember it i remember it really yeah and i didn't know it was you let's go continue so what a great interview am i being backed into a corner is this a good origin story or is it a good story all right oh it's a good story okay good so after the after the first show you come down and you're like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like to the green room and you put everybody out besides me and you said, hey, I'm not going to put you off the show. I just want to ask, are you an opening act or are you a headliner? I said, I'm a headliner. I headlined this whole time. I fucking knew it. The improvs put all the strong people in front of me while I was performing because I was destroying this whole time. I was literally destroying it. I remember. And I would ease up after your feature because you was coming up because I was really, because I'm home and I'm destroying this with no local shit. I remember. I was really destroying it and he was like, yo, they fucking always do this to me. Yeah. And then I didn't see your closer the first show because I was downstairs. Then the second show, I was standing on the side and I was like, is he taking off his clothes? There's no way he's taking off his clothes. And I don't know why I thought it was no way because you had just got this dude's phone in the front and put it down your underwear. I was like, classic. What the fuck? It's a classic joke. Well, skeleton taught me that joke. I was like, yo, and I'm like, and after that, after the rest of the show, after that show, when people was handing their phones, I was trying to look at people like, no, don't give him your phone. Your phone is going down. Here's what I do. It's a joke. Okay. And I'm not going to ever do it again now. This is the end of whatever. But this is why I did that. When I'm on stage and someone in the audience is texting somebody, it infuriates me. So I go, hey, you want a photo? And they'll give me the phone. Right. So then, right. So then I'll stick it down my pants, take a photo, give it back to them and go tag me. Okay. Right. And it gets a laugh. Right. It does. It does. It does. Right. It did. It did. Yeah. Yeah. So my point is, it's not some random thing. It's always like, you know, as a comic, as you know, you have different, there's a thousand things that can go on in the room and you have reactions and different things that you can do to react to those things that occur. Hackling. People being rowdy. Why don't you look at my fingers? Because you're doing a justice. It's like you're doing Obama. So I'm just. You gotcha. You gotcha. No, you're doing whatever his name is, Trump. All right. Sorry, my bad. Also, nice manicure. Okay. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. I'm going to a little event tonight. Prison? Yeah. No, no. Yeah. With my venues. You also told me that same weekend you told me a story that you were going to Yeah. You and Spanky Hayes were supposed to do something together. Like little cops or something. No, no, no. It was called War Babies. War. That's right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So Spanky Hayes is a little black man. Yes. Is he not? Yeah, he is a little black man. Yeah. Tiny little black man. And he's smaller than me. Is he shorter than you? Is he? Spanky Hayes, yeah. Oh, who's shorter? Bobby or Spanky? I don't know. Y'all look like y'all about the same. No. Okay, all right. I'll take that. Look like y'all about the same. But I'm taller than Kevin Hart. You are? Oh, yeah. I did a movie with him. I stood by him. Yeah, I believe you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. And I just saw him at the lunch. Oh, wow. Yeah, so yeah. Yeah. You got invited to the Netflix lunch? Yeah. Why? I just asked. Okay, have you been invited? No. And I'm going to tell you something right now. Okay? That was the first time I was ever invited. And I was mad for years that I was never invited. And then it comes and then you do it and then you go, okay, check. You know? But it's so funny. I mean, you say you just go, oh, yeah, check. But you're like, yeah, me and Kev at lunch. We were hanging out at the Netflix lunch. You seem to be bringing it up. Okay. You're right. He does talk a lot about it. He does mention it a lot. How about the lunch? It's not just check. Yeah. You talk about it every day. It's a double check. It's a double check for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so Spanky and Hayes and I had a movie that called War Babies. And it's basically, you know, we have the same, he's half Asian, right? Could he pass for half Asian? What? I don't think so. Yeah, yeah. I don't think so. For the purpose of this movie. Okay, continue. There's Spanky. I think he can. Oh, yeah. I think he could. I think he could. Yeah. Anyway, we're stepbrothers or something. But we were both born during a war. And we're called War Babies. That's the only premise we have. You know, Spanky and I, back then, we weren't writers. I think we pitched it once. I was like, that's all you have? Honestly, but like visually, you guys probably looked really cute together. We did. So. Yeah, yeah. I think it's a good idea. There's something there, but I don't know. But yeah, I love Spanky. Who's that? Is that Arius in back of him? No. Or like Pete. Yeah, Pete. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Did you, so you started with in Houston, then you knew Ralphie then? Yeah, I knew Ralphie. Yeah. Well. Yeah. Yeah. He was another one. See, let me tell you something about you fuckers in Texas. Sleepers. Sleeper sales. Exactly. So another thing happened. There used to be, there used to be a comedy club in Houston called the Laugh Stop. Yep. Laugh Stop. Yeah. And this guy named, do you know the guy that ran it, Pete? Yeah, but there was a meth head that once ran it and he became a meth head. Anyway, God bless you and take care. But so I played the laugh stop and I was featuring there in the 90s and Ralphie opened. He was the emcee and I drowned every show. I mean, it's like these fuckers, right? They're so good, but, you know, locally they become hosts. They host a show, but they want to show, I mean, this is what Texas is all about. You live or you drown. And then, you know, you see a guy like Ali and Ralphie May and it's like, it's fucking crazy. Like Hicks is from there. Kenison's from there. Carla Bow's from there. I mean, there's so many legends from Texas. You guys, there's a Mexican guy that's still working from, what's his name? Juan Valerio. Yes! Yeah, Juan. Juan, he's a beast. Yeah, Juan. These guys, dude, these guys, when you go on the road one day, dude. I'm scared. And you're featuring, dude. Be scared. Because there are dudes out there that have been doing it that are animals. They're animals, dude. Yeah, we got a nice little lineage of people. I know. And when people, you know, especially when somebody come from out of town and they think that we, this is some random, because we're hosting, because we just like to work. So it's not a, the hosting position is not a bad position for us. And then what I was doing at that time was stealing audiences. That was a laugh stop. Yeah. Oh, my God, the memories. Yeah. Laugh stop. It was a laugh spot. Yeah. It was a test joke. And it was, you know, before the improv, it was Spellbinders. I remember Spellbinders, yeah. Yeah. And they, then they moved to the improv. They moved to the improv space and couldn't hold the lease. And then improv bought it, came in and got it. Now they moved the improv down. You know, they redid it and moved it down. It sees more people. But yeah, Houston has a long lineage of great comics. Yeah, I know. I completely, you don't have to preach. No, I'm just saying. I'm telling you right now. I get it. I lived it. And you know what I do now, dude? I call the club. I call the clubs or whatever, because I bring all my own features. I go, get me the worst comic in the world. I literally do. Like somebody that just isn't good. And they go, are you sure? I go, yeah, because I want my future to struggle. Because if you have a bad host, right, he doesn't truly get them. Right? So then your feature has to do 10 minutes of like getting them going. Right? I don't know. So then I have the feature spot. Yeah. Right? Genius. It's genius. It's psychological. Because of fuckers like you, dude. Yeah. You, Ralphie, all those guys that would just, I mean, destroy, right? And my feature is also like kind of an open mic-er. Always. I don't know who was opening for me that weekend. It was this white lady with sandy brown hair. I just remember that. Oh, I know what it was. I know what it is. I don't want an N. And you know who else? This is from Houston who was a monster. Shane Wayne. Oh, yeah, dude. Shane Wayne from Houston. Yeah, he's from Houston. Yeah. Cristela is from Texas, too. Alonzo. Yeah. Thea Vidal. Yeah, Thea Vidal. Yeah. We have a. I remember when Cristela was the fucking waitress at the Addison Improv. Yeah. And then she started doing emceeing spots for me. And I was like, what the fuck? And then, like, I would use her as a feature. I mean, she's. There's people. There's people out there that you got to work harder. Yeah, now I'm a little embarrassed that I've hosted for you, honestly. You're the worst guy ever. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, I've hosted for Bobby Lee, no big deal. This is the stage where I want to get the worst guy in there. Yes, yes. But you talked about. You said you went up there and you wanted to, like, steal audiences. Oh, yeah, for sure. You got to come steal somebody else. So that was like maybe six weeks of me going. Opening for whoever. Because they would call me like, hey, you want to open for Bobby Lee? I'm like, cool, new audience. And right before you was Angela Johnson. Yeah. Right before Angela Johnson was Mars Gibroni. So then, you know, I was like, these are not people who would normally see me. Right. Wow. So then I would get new fans in my own city that didn't know me. So I could literally stay in Houston and I don't have to really travel. I can go. I can go to the improv and do 13, 14 shows in the weekend. Wow. Make a bunch of money and just stay at home. Yeah. And do that every three months. Wow. That's great. You can get another hour in three months? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No. No. You're not going to get paid for that. So I've been doing comedy for 30 years i've been 29 yeah and i just shot my first special three months ago boom take those numbers it takes it takes a while in your face it takes a while once you get in your face friend once it gets going motherfucker you're a motherfucker coming into this place acting like that you're activating the prison asian now i'll shank you dude you what i mean i flabbergast i don't have that kind of work ethic it's almost as like yeah i don't have that but i feel as though like you have so much work ethic you don't have that kind of work ethic you don't have that kind of work ethic to mine from like i feel like you've lived so many different lives that you are kind of an endless well of just story story story stories yeah and and i think that's the benefit of not being with um a network yeah because there's no way that i would have put out more than one in five in five years with a network yeah yeah i think i was waiting for what i was waiting for was none of these streamers want me yet you know yeah but you're a really good example too of like being really successful in putting out your own special in youtube because those you have a ton of people just waiting for your next one to drop and i feel like they're people do put out stuff on youtube but i feel like that is still a struggle for a lot of comics but i feel like you crack the code with that yeah and and i look at it sometimes to um see because you know people don't realize this what 30 specials a month come out mm-hmm that's just the ones that they that they post on the it's it's like 300 to 400 specials come out a year comics put them out all the time and then i look at the list and then i just go down on youtube what everybody special is doing and i feel very grateful because it's some people 10 000 views yeah you know 1500 views some people yeah get to 200 and then it'll just sell out um 200 views 200 000 oh okay okay you know i'm sure there's a 200 views there's some it's some it's some it's some people that don't have a lot of views but are there famous people yeah it's wow but yours are like wow 20 million exactly oh my god you're so rich so oh you're killing it so oh my god the craziest thing is when you look at just go to we just look at domino effect one right yeah so there's parts to it yeah one two three and four it's like john wick so if so we look at this my two sons won an naacp image awards for outstanding special only only independently produced special ever win an award part four is an hour and 56 minutes long yeah how long is yours 38 minutes take that 30 years 38 minutes an hour and 56 minutes long yeah so rugged won three webby awards wow um these numbers are crazy they're crazy numbers dude so this is the thing so now when you on a network yeah there's over four years over four years 20 million views people keep watching it yeah so when you're on a network it's over it's like you you do it and it's done like my first special was on comedy central yeah and i probably man i'll say maybe if you look at the one that i put out on comedy central now so when i first initially put it out go to it now go to what they what they did so when we tried to buy it back from the success of that of one yeah they put it out on youtube ah so not this is not happening bigger than these balls look where it is look where it is now how many views yeah yeah it did not have that when it was on comedy central right wow it got that on youtube yeah and they and they did that after we dropped domino effect one wow so on youtube we probably got 200 000 views i'm on comedy central 200 000 views yeah they showed it one time then we forced them to show it again yeah because of comedy central having programming and whatnot yeah so and they played it like 11 11 59 at night on the east coast time for it to be played at eight o'clock on west it was just crazy but i would never recoup that special from them as what they spent you know when you're fine yeah so did you know right away like oh this there's much more to be had on you like how did you learn that that was the way to go we um we shot it independent we just gonna put on our website at first oh okay and then we just said oh let's drop it on youtube and then we started it like this is the crazy this is the craziest thing because i have all of those when people go to youtube i also have a a um a 24 7 live so people the specials just rerun all the time so why oh my god right now right now is is people is 1600 people watching wow wow yeah you definitely grab it so cool you crack the code like youtube really is like a great place for this but also could be the pits of hell for some other people yeah for some other people but i think this is the future i don't know but i i think it's the future why why wouldn't it be the future it's the largest stream in the world why wouldn't it be the future it's the largest stream in the world situation yeah yeah yeah it's like nobody i nobody that's what my bullshit complaint about disclosure day was what how did you link this to this i'm linking this to disclosure day dude you see disclosure day dude no you don't like aliens transition no i'm i will fucking connect disclosure day to all these cities okay all right do you want to hear it yeah it's been out for a while so fuck it i'm gonna make the connection and here's what's bullshit about disclosure day and what you're doing okay okay it might make i have to get it right in my mind real quick and us asians when we calculate we use an abacus in our mind all right so because literally i'm waiting on him to say what the fuck is andre doing he's falling asleep dude yeah yeah you know you know andre you know andre this might not be the kind of podcast that you're used to you know what i mean you mean you know other people i get it you know if gary owns is here you'd be like yeah yeah or whatever but like yeah but but the thing is is that i'm popular as well and there are people out there that like me as well andre he didn't even go when i would did gary on he didn't even go yeah yeah oh really no he didn't even go like this is him at every podcast yeah yeah you can be like a michael jackson he'd be on his own like yeah michael would have talked about thriller okay so in disclosure day okay it's a steven spielberg movie my rating do you see it anybody in the room see it i haven't yeah yeah yeah this week i will why i haven't seen it yet don't okay please don't i thought you were just gonna go no please do not watch it why why what i don't want to go against the hollywood elites right now okay that chip has sailed you're gone against them every episode steven spielberg is about to be mad you're never getting war babies done somebody just heard war baby they're like i think i did get this here we go right um for for people that are um gen x and boomers love this movie okay that's me right because this is like an old school like spielberg 1980s type of legacy alien movie okay but it gets a couple it's kind of like um you don't really understand how the world works nowadays all right okay so they have this information just really quickly right that they're like we have to get to this news station to expose this alien information okay to go around the world right but who watches cnn just on their couch watching cnn no you get everything here yeah right social media it put it on tiktok what what year was the movie set in now oh right so they're all racing to get to this kansas city you know i mean local news yeah all you have to do is look yo you know what i mean yeah that's okay it took you out of it then completely because you're like this doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense that why would everyone race and then a government agency is trying to block this group of people to get to the fucking news station to reveal the situation so it goes around the world but what I'm saying is just put it on YouTube. Instagram, yeah. So this is kind of how you feel about this movie? It was a great movie. You know, I'll give it 8 out of 10. What? Yeah, I'll give it 8 out of 10. You just said don't go see it. It's the exact way that I felt about Get Out. Oh. Oh, well, we've had Jordan on the podcast. Keep it easy here. No, go for your. I was so mad at Get Out. Like, I didn't finish watching it because of the opening scene. Oh, what was the opening scene? The opening scene, black guy in this fucking random-ass neighborhood. Lakeith's character, yeah. He gets. He's. Okay. I keep sitting there thinking, how did he get here? Yeah. Because this is a neighborhood that you really can't ride a bus to. Yeah, that's right. It's a nice neighborhood. If somebody dropped you off, why would they drop you off at an address that they can't find and why would they leave you there and you just randomly walking down the street in this dark-ass street and somebody come by in a Porsche with a helmet on, a motorcycle helmet and you're not fucking running? Man, get the fuck out of here, man. Like, this is the stupid. Like, we're. Okay, how you don't know where this girl stay at? You're just randomly walking down the fucking street. That's a good point. Who dropped you? Lyft? Uber? Who the fuck dropped you off at Uber? Wait a minute. Oh, wait a minute. There's no bus stops over here. Yeah. You didn't take a cab. Yeah. This is fucking bullshit. Bullshit. Like, I couldn't take. Like, my mind is still on. It took you out. How did you get here? It took you out, yeah. Somebody had to take. You were looking for this person out and then this shit happens. Somebody in a car with a motorcycle helmet and you just like, okay, whatever. You know. Yeah, that took you out. You never finished it. Yeah, I never. I never. I never recovered. I was like. You never recovered? Yeah. Like, this right. Where's he going? Yeah. Yeah. You can't. And you get off the phone with the person that you're looking for and somebody's in a fucking. This. This. Okay. Okay. As soon as I see this fucking motorcycle helmet. Okay. You're done. You're out. Okay, tell me. I'm not. Tell me. This is you. This is you. Where are you? What are you doing right now? First of all, I'm not there in the dark and I don't know where the fuck I'm going. Okay. But let's just suppose you were. You're lost. Back this. Back this way. Okay. Full speed. I'm not. First of all, I'm not. Oh, you're running. You're running. Full speed. He got a motorcycle helmet on the inside of a Porsche. Okay, okay. That's so. He's fucking nuts. But also, you're right. At that point, it's like, call somebody. And that door. That door. You're running. And you look. I'd be running. Out. I'd be running. Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. You're right. You're right. You didn't hear him get out of this car. You know what? And you got choked out. All right, all right. Asians would behave the same way you would. Yo, I'd be on a tree. It's no way. And look how stiff his legs is when he gets tossed in a Porsche by a fucking dude in a fucking weakling. Yeah, yeah. Yo, I was done. I was done. So if that was you, you'd be gone. Because I would not. Bro. Okay, tell me. It's a random place I've never been before. Okay, I understand. How am I getting there? And I'm not being dropped off at the address that was given. And once I get there and nobody's at that particular address, yo, I'm back in the Uber. Like, I'm not even hitting the app. I'm calling the contact. Yo, I left my wallet. I'll pay the file out and I'll just get back in the car. Yo, I thought you left your wallet, man. Take me the fuck away from here. I'm not doing none of this goopy shit. Yeah, it's suspension of disbelief, though. You just have to, in your mind, go, okay, this is. What's going on? Hey, man. Yeah. I'm gonna be honest. This is not even racist. If that was some white guy in that movie, I probably would've watched the whole thing. The fact that I'm black, that shit does not register in my mind than somebody in a Porsche riding up in a fucking motorbike. Don't watch Obsession, then, because it's like there's a lot of things in there where I was like, what? Because I would've watched that movie as soon as I would've been watching that movie you're talking about. And I'm like, a news station? Yeah, yeah. With all this streaming shit going on? Now? It's like, right now? Right now, yeah. I'm cooked. Yeah. It's also, here's what another thing is, and I'm already out. You're right. You're right. I'm already out. I'm out. Even though I am going to a Larry David event after this. So you're in. So I'm kind of in. So you're in. Yeah, I'm kind of still in. Yeah, you're in. I'm not. And he called me the other day, so. So what? So maybe I'm in. Hey, yeah, what you're saying is I'm out, right? But maybe I'm in! So this is how I know I can't stand and listen to or watch a story that's not true. Bill Bellamy, friend of mine. Been here. Telling the story about Busta Rhymes and Coolio in concert. And I'm sitting there like this. I'm listening to this story. Yeah. And it is set in 1997. Yeah. And he's talking about how Coolio got this big hit and Busta Rhymes got these bigger hits. And I'm sitting there listening to the story and I'm like, Gangsta's Paradise, this is 95. Why the fuck would Coolio be doing his concert in 97? And then he's naming Busta Rhymes songs. And I'm like, Pesca, if I say that, that thing come out to like 2,000. And I'm like, and I called him like, don't nobody believe this bullshit ass story you're telling. And then he called me like, I got too excited I was telling the wrong song. So you call and confront? I called him like, yo, this story is not accurate. Write down that for you. Call and confront. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Like what I did, you missed the story before you got here, right? I want you to see if you, I was at the comedy store parking lot. Oh my fucking God. Okay. He was a lot guy at the comedy store. I was parking car. Right? Okay. I backed into a comics car, dented it. Allegedly. Allegedly. Right? He allegedly thought it was a dumpster he hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just drove off into the night. Okay. Okay. I get a call later, right? He's a lot guy, right? The manager of the club is, we have the tape. Okay. And he goes, and also a couple of people told me they saw it and they ratted you out. And I had to find the rats. Okay. But he wouldn't tell me the rats. But he was the, he was the lot guy. So he knew who the rats were. So I called him and he's my boy. He opens for me. So I go, tell me who ratted me out. And I got the names on the list. Oh, but it wasn't for me. It was for somebody else. I know. I'm not a rat, Ollie. Let me tell you. I, I stand, I keep it, but also I'm loyal. I'm not a rat, but I'm loyal. I don't know what's a better stand. But the whole thing is why did Bobby pay for the person's car? Why did he drive away? That's already. Trying to get away with a crime. That's not a crime. It is a crime. That's not a crime. It's something. It's not, it's not, it's not good. It's not bad either. You're the worst. It's like, if you come out, if you come out of your car, I did it. I, okay. Ask her. Yeah. Ask her. He's ran me over. What did he want to ask? He was going to, he was, yeah, he's going to ask, right? If I came out to my car and it was dented, what would I do? So he always keeps a big wad of cash for exactly this scenario. He's like, I don't want to do paperwork. I don't want to deal with insurance. Here's money, money, money. No, but what I'm saying is, is that if my car was crashed. Oh, he'd be like, no problem. Bye. Bye. No problem. Bye. I'll tell you a story. Your car that you got No problem. Let me tell you. No problem. Bye. Because you keep a big wad of cash. Yes. And you got your car for free. From Hyundai. That's true. But also one time, so he, his car broke down. It's the other pieces. You got your car for free. I wouldn't give a shit if I came out in a car for free. It's for free. Yes. I wouldn't give a damn what kind of car the car was. So my G-Wagon, somebody came out, they bust the, like with spark plugs, trying to break into the glass. Oh. Wait, explain again. My G-Wagon. What's a G-Wagon? It's a Mercedes. That's good. It's a good car. It's a good car. I drive a bluey. A bluey. A bluey. I have a bluey. I have a bluey. My daughter would love your bluey. I love bluey. Yeah, I have a bluey Hyundai free car. Anyway, so I don't know what a G-Wagon is. You got it for free? Yeah. Who gave it to you? Hyundai. Hyundai. You didn't give me a car? No. You're not Korean. Oh, that's a racist shit. You don't know if I'm Korean down the line? That's what I drive. It's in the parking lot. Oh, yeah. Yeah. If somebody bumped it. You got a G-Wagon. Oh, that's a G-Wagon. Beautiful car. All right, so tell me the story now. Somebody bust the windows trying to get into it. But when you do this, you're throwing darts? Spark plugs. They're doing the spark plug shit trying to get into it. And these windows are like bulletproof type shit. And they bust, cracked them. And I wasn't even mad, but I just got that windshield fixed. But now it's the windshield and it's the passenger, the driver's side and the back driver's side. And I was like, I got insurance. Yeah. But if I came out and somebody bumped it, and just drove off, I would be a little tight. See, I know their motive was to break in. Okay. The motive was you just backed into my shit. Yeah. and just left. But so picture this. You come out. You come to the comedy store. You do a set. You're having a good night. You park your G-Wagon there. You come out. It's bumped and dented. And then someone goes up to you and goes, yeah, it was Bobby Lee. He left. What is your reaction? I'm going to be up here. Yes. Wait, be up here and what? Because you got to be up here with Andre? Definitely with Andre. What is Andre going to do? You got to water cash. Yeah. We're going to get that out you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to picture that. I don't think so. I don't think so. You don't get nothing. What? Are you fucking crazy, Bobby? I'll tell you why you get nothing. Why? Right? Because you're doing well. Because I came to your house? Oh, because I'm doing well. Hey, Holly, you're doing well. 20 million views on YouTube. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw your YouTube numbers. I know what that is. So what I'm saying is that it's, look at me right now, dude. Okay? We have origin story. I think I would walk off, Bobby, if you told me, hey, you're doing well. Get the fuck out of my driveway. I bumped your car. You're doing well. And I would just walk off like, Dre, come on, because this shit don't even make no fucking sense. Bobby is actually fucking crazy. I'm not crazy. That's what I believe. He just told me I was doing well, so this shouldn't matter. It doesn't matter because it's nothing to you. I see. Okay, so you're saying if you make, what's the minimum someone has to make a year? A year for you to be like, I'm not going to pay for the bill. Okay, the minimum amount. Yeah. Like, let's say someone makes half a million a year. You're like, you know, I don't need to pay for that debt. Oh, no, no pay, no pay, no pay, no pay, no pay. Oh, no, no. No pay, no pay, no pay, no pay, no pay. 100,000. No pay, no pay. Ah, okay. No, average American, like, double income, 150. Yeah, 150 is like barely making it still in LA. But 200, then 200. Let's make a price, 250. I'll go as far as that. No. If you're doing, if you're doing less than 250, I will do insurance. I'll pay you. I'll pay you back. It's a nightmare. If you're doing, if you're doing, that's fucking crazy. It's not crazy. Like, yo, no. Yeah. You're making 300. But how would you even determine this? Like, yo. He's typing it on the calculator. You look like you're making $300,000. No, here's what happened. I was on Ventura, right? And a man literally goes into my lane, bumps me, right? We pulled to the side. I'm like, I mean, you obviously, he goes, I didn't see you, man. And I go, okay. And I go, I know, but you know what I mean? You were at fault because I was in my lane. And he's like, yeah, but we need to, we need to call the cops, man. Right? And I had shit to do. So I gave him money. What? To get out. I go, here's 400 bucks, right? I don't want to, I don't care. Let's just move on. That's exactly what he does. How did this not happen on the night that you were there? Why not pull out the wad of cash and go, look, whatever. Here's the money. Because I didn't think there was cameras and rats. Dude, it's not even a cameras thing. You're the worst criminal ever. There's a huge dent in the car. So obviously someone's going to come out and be like, hey, so someone dented my car. Was there a dent in your car? People are immediately going to come out. I didn't even look. And that's why you're the number one suspect also, I think, anytime. Yeah, I think, I think. They would have never ratted you out of somebody if you would have put cash, like $400, taped it next to the bump. Oh, I see. Yeah, I see. Maybe I should have done that. Because one time. I didn't have any tape, though. You tried to get away with the crime. Yeah, it's not a crime, dude. It's not a fucking crime, dude. I'm trying to get you to prison. I haven't met you. One time, I remember Enterprise put out a, I think you were almost going to get caught for like theft because you didn't return the rental car for a year. Yeah. And then it was my phone number that he listed. Yeah, yeah. So I was getting the call. I remember that. I remember that. And I was like, you know, guys, I don't know how to explain this, but just charge him and he'll pay for it. But he definitely, but yeah, you have to come back and we have to know that the car is still in his possession. I was like, he's not coming back. So just show. I eventually did. I remember. I remember you paid. Maybe they came. I don't remember. It took a long time. And then the other time, his car broke down off the side of Coenga and he was just like, I was like, hey, I have AAA. He called me. He's like, oh, my car broke down. I was like, it's okay. I have AAA. It's on its way to you. Like, no, I'm just going to leave it there. Oh my God. And then he just left his car there. Yeah. No pay, no pay, no pay. Nothing. They never got it back. I don't think. You know something? I see what this is. He wasn't even rich at that time. I did this behavior when I had no money. Oh my God. This has been instilled in my parents' fault. You have affluenza. What's affluenza? I like that. What's affluenza? What does affluenza mean? I like that. What does it mean? What does it mean? What does it mean? It's an affluenza. No, no, no. No, that's not true. That's not true. Okay? That's not true. You're rich in your life. No, that's not true. Not monetarily rich. You're rich in your life where you don't have to, you don't give up. I don't give a shit about. I'll go to prison. I see. Okay. Bobby, do you understand they would have sent a SWAT team to get that goddamn car from me if I would have held that car? If I would have had that car three days over, it sounds like I would have had that car. It would be a fucking SWAT team at my house. You had a car for a year. Okay, okay, okay. You didn't paint it. You started taking care of this car. Yeah, yeah. I'm mad at it. You was getting oil changes and shit. You were taking a car that didn't belong to you to get oil changes. He's like, yo. But affluenza is not the right. It's honestly like extreme ADHD. He just doesn't want to deal with it. I don't want to deal with it. Yeah. So what I used to do is, you know, I've said this before, even as a young kid, I would get parking tickets and I would just not take them out. I would have just in a row on my, you know what I mean, the wiper, right? And I would do a contest where I would speed up to see if one of them would fly into the air on the freeway. It was like a game I played with myself, right? And then all of a sudden, like, you know what I mean, my parents would call. Yeah, in fact, yeah. Oh, what's going on? And I go, what'd you say? They called police. You're paying money. And I go, pay it. You gotta pay it. I have no money. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just affluenza. You know, even though it's not your money, he's like, yo, do you know? I can imagine in my mind getting a ticket and they calling my mom and I'm telling my mom, we'll pay it. I'll tell you, in 2008. What did you say? That's what you got your dad. What? Oh. Like, what? What? What's going on? What the hell? What's going on? I don't know what. You know? And then you're like, you're just gonna have to pay it, Dad. Here's another thing I did. In 2009, none of my shit worked. Like, my cards or anything. And I never paid taxes my whole life. Oh, yeah. I didn't know you had to. Yeah, that's correct. Like, people go, it's tax year, right? And I'd be like, I don't know how to do that. Right? So I just never did it. Last year, everything caught up. And my tax bill was crazy. I know. Just know that you would tell me, no pay. You do it. No pay. No pay. I know. No pay. And I had to get a guy to help me because it was like, I owed so much money. I want to be able to pick where my tax money goes. Ballistic missile? Nah. Infrastructure in our country. I couldn't dig that. What? I could dig that. I think we should pick, like, parks. Oh, yeah. I like swings. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean? Bridges. Yeah, okay. But our money is being spent in aiding things that I don't want it going to. UFC at the White House. I know. That's what I'm saying. But, you know, so you have your specialty that you're pushing? My father, daddy? What is it? My father, daddy. I don't know what it's called. No, it's called my father. My father. It came out Sunday. It came out Sunday? Yeah. Why do you have a keyboard in front of you? Oh. Because for ads, I play a little music. Oh, okay. I just wondered why nobody else had a keyboard. I was like, is this a band podcast? No, no, no. Sometimes I've broken in the song, but I didn't feel like that today. What was your relationship with your father? Oh, it's all in the special. It was up and down. You know, like I say, he, you know, he wasn't ideal, but he was mine. Yeah. So that's the key thing. You know, I did as much as I could with him, as much as I could for him. And, you know, I am the way I am because of him. Because that's the first person that told me I'd never say, the energy that you put in for someone else, you can put that energy in for yourself. So I was always independent through everything. I don't really, I didn't have that many jobs, you know, unless I was getting a job to learn something. Yeah. You know, and I was out. you know my um my daughter she's a chef and she only worked certain places to learn how to do that part of the business you know then she was back onto her own thing yeah did your relationship with your dad like how did that inform how like you parent your kids oh i'm i'm a great dad because of how absent my pops was you know i didn't want them to feel that so i'm i'm at everything with my kids yeah that's the same reason i never had any because of my relationship with my dad and my mom i was just like i ain't doing this i'm not gonna put my kid through the same kind of trauma you mean that i went through but you don't have to i know that i mean i there's two ways to do it right the way you did it was you change you know um and i decided i decided not to do it because i i i feel like i would accidentally trauma them because i would never do that to my kid i would never even you know i would go how do you feel today yeah express to me what people say what they wouldn't do when they don't have them and then the next thing you know you throw in a flip-flop like it's like yo man you can say what you want to do but you can say what's not you know i am i've i've i've been you know i have older kids and then i have young kids so my my 32 year old and my 27 year old they'll they'll say well he was he has calmed down a lot ah you know but that's from experience apparently and then the things that was done like it warranted me to be crazy at certain points because then it never happened again if i was like oh you know whatever what whatever then it probably would have happened again but after i zoned out because they'd never seen me zone out you know they they would hear about oh how your father was in the streets but they never saw it and then you would do something and i'm like what you just do yeah no i know that's not what you did and then you can't act nonchalant like you don't give a damn about what i'm saying oh okay i bet i bet we're not gonna go down this road again and then they would see me zone out it was like i'm not gonna go down this road again and then they would see me zone out it was like okay i i see that he is not wrapped as tight as he appears and so now i have um my youngest daughter how old is she five wow and she literally gets away with murder it's like this is this is me talking to her like she in trouble then i gotta talk to him like hey let me talk to you real quick man why you do that don't be doing that and now i'm tickling us it go from a sad face to a very mischievous laugh like like and this is the thing that i would see on youtube um no it'll be on instagram or youtube whatever his own that this mothers will be fussing at they at their daughters and then it was his father this mother he's got into a fight the girl's gonna be fussing at their daughters the girl got into fight at school and the mother's going off and he's like yo you better handle it you better handle it so he went in the room he closed the door and he took off his belt but he was whooping the bed and then the girl the daughter was like what you do after that yeah i punched her right in the nose and it's like yo man i did i'm like yo this is so me like because i i don't have the same i don't have one i don't have the same energy yeah and two it's not as life threatening it's like how you feel about taking a running car back i'm like hey man it's whatever yeah just don't do that no more because i don't want to have to i don't just don't get me in trouble shit yeah and that's that that's the thing yeah i got i got one question how long you been um a lot alive no a lot a lot person attending a lot oh um i mean every since i started i probably worked there almost two years now a year and a half you did you see my name on the on the wall while you in the parking lot because it's right like yeah yeah yeah okay you see this name on the wall yeah yeah yeah are you mad about the name placement there or no no i it didn't matter it didn't matter okay yeah some people complain why do i gotta be you know can you choose ever no no no no so there's no need to complain if you can't choose you can't choose yeah but you can't choose if you can't choose because they chose you to get on the wall and they did a little barbecue for you out there and they did all that stuff and they they painted you what they painted you what year was that 22 no 23 23 yeah wow did he get past you or emily who the whoever made you a paid regular who was it um i forget okay i think it was um was it a lady or a man man it was probably adam you get yeah yeah you get past you wow yeah i've never seen your name on the wall yeah because you you uh because when you in the parking lot you're bumping not very aware of what's going on and scurrying out the parking lot yeah all right check um ali sadid's my father on youtube let me say something man this shit's the future you know i you know i you know i do i have an only fans is that the only fans thing no that's tiktok oh that's tiktok oh god damn only man what would you show on only fan nothing i wouldn't be on there i'd be on there showing pictures of my ladies like tour date san antonio majestic theater we got corpus christi i haven't played corpus in 20 years man oh man let me tell you something i'll be about i struggle in corpus like this is the only place on it like we most of these shows before this we added shows and we added shows and we added shows added theater shows just doubling up added arena shows fucking corpus i probably got 400 tickets sold in corpus it's big ass it's like corpus don't fuck with me it's not a personal thing i know it's like it's a fishing town it's like yo is he so in bass i mean i have i have friends that are sellout headliners that are struggling to sell tickets because of the economy we're in no i'm only struggling in corpus no just corpus i i know but what if corpus has things going on in their economy in corpus okay you're selling out everywhere yeah but corpus is like corpus is fucking lowering my self-esteem yeah but don't dude i'm telling you right now i played atlantic city he's got atlantic city i played atlantic city not there somewhere else and i for the first time of my life was shell-shocked yeah he wanted to die yeah i literally was going to kill myself that night come on no i i yeah yeah what i i had maybe i sold maybe a thousand tickets a lot of people it was so massive they even blocked off the entire you know how they put the drapes with with with me it's a thousand people and that's uh whether it's what you normally do you know what i'm saying and but it's still a thousand people it's a lot that's a lot of people you know corpus christi is 2600 people it's a 2600 thing it's going to be 400 people okay okay mine was a 3000 seat venue and you got a thousand yeah you have for 400 and how many 2500 2500 yeah that's way out what is it what is it what's the date just think i just did i just did in baltimore i was at an arena that we sold out twice um memphis we sold out the orpheum three nights cancel it that's what i do cancel i can't i gotta crack the code there's no code in corpus all right just can't that's what i do i call my people two weeks in i go what what's the percentage and they go it's this i go i'm out i'm like yo i'm bringing mullet to corpus christi i'm handing out fishing tackles i'm like yo something's going to have to happen but give all a round of applause everybody all right