Alec Baldwin Talks 30 Rock, Fatherhood, Trial

I mean, I know people will have a name who took the money they made, and it might not have been hundreds of millions of dollars in fees like Leo, or whatever, but they're just people I know who made less money in fees, but they invested that money back to your feet. Oh, like sad. Oh, the fees like you're paid on a movie. Yeah, yeah. You make a movie and you get paid, you know, you're doing Tom Cruise, you get $50 million. You just say the words, right, and you get $50 billion? No, no, no, he does a lot more than that for $50 million. Do you have Tom Cruise? Do you have Tom's number? Yeah, yeah. I have a sister's number. You have a sister's number? What if I call her? Who's she? Who's she? Yeah. She's Tom's sister. Wow! Hello, and welcome back to the Adam Friedland show. I'm Adam Friedland. Guys, big episode today. But before we start, I'm going back on the road, Emerald City Comedy Club Seattle Washington January 23rd. Oh, fuck. I did the dates wrong. Seattle Washington January 22nd, 23rd, 24th. I'm with Caleb Pits, the man that is, he's sick today. Yeah. I'm doing five shows. Get tickets at emeraldcitycomedy.com. There's also a link in the description of this video. I'd like to thank, first off, as always, our members for supporting us here on YouTube.com. You make this show possible. Members get access to all of our episodes early. And if you join at the second or third tiers, you get your name in the credits of this fine program. If you'd like to join the Friedland Family Foundation, you could do so by clicking the join button here on YouTube or by clicking the link in the description below. And you could also support us on Patreon if you'd prefer. The link for that is also in the description. And by Friedland Family Foundation, I don't mean anyone from my family. You know who you are. Guys, merch is also available at the Adam Friedland show. Check it out. We have a new shirt that's a keep-com list of the Adam Friedland show that's going to be its duly. That's funny. They Caleb put it in there. I'm doing another one of those Caleb writes it and I react for the first time. It's a fun game that the people love. My guess this week is the legendary American actor, Alec Baldwin. Mr. Baldwin is known for many roles over the years. But perhaps his most iconic is his turn as Blake. The Chastising Associate sent to motivate the poor salesman. Oh, is that his name Blake? Sent to motivate the salesman of Glenn Gary Clodross. Is there Blake? Did you know that? He didn't seem like a Blake. They didn't put it in the play. There's no dialogue. It's just like a block of text that he leads. His name, for his character, put that coffee down. The Chastising Associate motivated whatever. It really is a career-defying performance. One of the film's greatest monologues. The spark of drama that sets everything into motion. But there's too much cussing. So here's what I would have said if I was him. This is good Caleb. I hope you're feeling better, my friend. Hey, you piece of crap. Put down your coffee and let's get to work. Enough while you're cacking around here. We really need to work and we need to make some sales. So let's get this thing started and let's have a great week at work. Thanks everyone. Thanks everyone for your time. And if you need anything, I'm always available. I really appreciate everyone's time. And I really, I can really see you guys are trying your hardest. Okay, so let's go do this guys. Please enjoy my interview with Alec Baldwin. Guys, this is a great one. I'm very proud of it. Ladies and gentlemen, American institution, Alec Baldwin. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I feel true. We had a pre interview yesterday. This is where it all ends, my hot streak. I'm out classed and out-guned right now. Within five seconds, I'm like, it's really him. That's so bizarre. You walk around and you're just kind of allergic to that. You see people on the street and say things to you. You go and you say calm down, you know what I mean? No, but you got on the phone. You're like Friedland. Friedland, tell me something. Are you as dry in real life as you are on the television screen? I'm like, it's him. I feel like Liz Lehmann right now. What an honor. It's charming. Thank you so much. I'm a massive fan. I think I've researched too much. I mean, you missed the tinful hat, like the pins on a corkboard section. But we were going quite deep. And the corruption goes all the way to the top, mind you. I mean, this whole thing stinks. Obama, the Illuminati, that pyramid with the high ball. You look carefully at the dollar bill. Very useful. A little messy, I would say. No, but it has been fun kind of to just revisit your work and just remind myself, kind of anecdotally, the moments of my life that I interacted with it and just kind of. How old are you? I'm 38 years old. No, okay. You look younger. How familiar are you with this show, right now? I watch your show because the people from my heart said, it's always that thing. Well, your podcast would do better if you did other podcasts. This is a talk show. A talk show. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's a talk show. Your podcast would do better if you did more talk shows. Thank you. So, they said to me that you were hot and your show was hot. Thanks. And your middle name is hot. One of the hottest guys said that to me. So, they said to me, come on. Normally, I don't do a lot of that because I have kids now. I have a lot of kids. So, I'm kind of busy with other things. Yeah. When I leave here, I'm going to go pick up my kids from school. You have like seven of them. I have eight children. Eight now. Eight now. Well, you lift up a sofa cushion. There's always a baby under there in my house. Where did you get the energy? I don't actually, because I'm half dead from exhaustion. Yeah. I have my older daughter, Ireland. She's married, kind of, and has a baby. And then I have a baby and a grandchild that are the same age. Really? Yeah. There's some freaky shit right there. It's a little weed. Yeah. Something. Are you a weed guy? No, no. There's a lot of gummies from my, I have that horrible insomnia. Do you sleep well? I took a half of a five milligram and watched fantastic Mr. Fox with my girlfriend. And I kept saying this is so well done. I got it. This documentary is amazing. I've really enjoyed learning about your life. When you speak about film and the theatrical arts, you kind of seem like you're in love. The parts of it, yeah. From what I understand, like from a very young age. You grew up in Long Island. Right. Irish Catholic family? Yes. Your dad, let you stay up late in long movies. Well, he would, he'd fall asleep. He would come home. He always had some other, he was a schoolteacher. He always had some evening functions he did and job he did to supplement his income. And then he'd come home and my mother was like out of it. So I'd say, who's going to let dad in? Like he didn't have a key to his own house, you know what I mean? So I would wait for him to come and he'd come to go in the kitchen and make a sandwich and come in and have a, he's hungry to drink and he'd watch, and he'd look at the New York Times just to have those really petty little reviews of movies. So it would say, you know, ball of fire. You know, Barbara Stanley tells Gary Cooper where he can go. And then my father would go, wow, ball of fire, that's a great movie. I said, let's watch it. He'd say, no, no, you've got to go to bed. I'd go, let's watch 10 minutes. This is my, my, my game. And within 10 minutes, he was asleep and I would watch the whole movie till one o'clock in the morning. And what were those movies that you were watching? Like what? Are you a big movie freak? Yeah. Five Grays to Cairo with Fancho Ton. Okay. Yeah. Huckwee was my valley. The best. Ball of fire. Sorry, roll the fire. Roll the fires of comedy with Barbara Stanley, who I love. The first movie I ever watch on TV all the way through till one of the morning was, sorry, wrong number with Barbara Stanley, and Bert and I cast a great thriller. One of the great thrillers of all time. Yeah. When I've like watched interviews with you, you're like an incredible mimic. And something I've like connected in my mind was like, I imagine like a kid watching TV. Yes. And then you kind of doing the voices. Did you feel like you were transcending Long Island? Well, I mean, be there watching a movie. And someone would come on and remember watching movies for those of you here who are a little older. When you watch movies back then, I mean, you had like an Ayurvedic sense of focus. You know, you live, right? Well, you'd watch the movie and there was no button to press. There was no VHS, no VCR, no rewind. You'd watch and you got locked in. You'd like watched and heard everything. So when James Cagney, you would talk about impersonating people. He would say lines. You'd walk away an hour later. The guy's in the trunk. The guy says, you know, open up, open up. I can't breathe. I need some air. And Cagney's like, air. You want air? I'll give you air. Boom, boom, boom. Make sure to the trunk of the car. Now, I'd walk around. I was like 10 years old. I'd walk around the whole day going, air. You want air? I'll give you air. And you just could easily lived in your mind all the time. - It was a Austin Powers gig, it was pretty cool. Everyone at school thought it was cool, yeah. - You like Mike Myers? Have you followed this whole career? - Yeah, I mean, that's kind of my age. - Well, we don't, but beyond Austin Powers, yeah. - The love guru. - Yeah, we love it. - Shrek remakes and Shrek sequels, more Shrek. - Oh, really, I thought that was the real Shrek. There's Mike Myers? - Mike Myers does, yeah, but those Austin Powers movies. What was the Scottish guy's name? - It's a Scottish, fat bastard, thank you. - He did all that. - Yeah, fat bastard. - This is our age, it was pretty cool. Do you remember how funny that was for us? When he had to pee for a long time after he got home frozen? That was a real moment. I remember taking my parents to that. My mom was like, what, like, I don't wanna go see the second one. I was like, she was like, it's really a disgust. - My kids love them. They love a zoo lander. - Yeah, yeah. - They love anything that's nasty. - Steelers is really funny. I mean, I like to grow up, our generation's borat, I feel like. - Your, your, my kids love borat. - Yeah, yeah. - They do, they're like, they wanna see borat. They wanna see, you know, they wanna see the guy's ass on his face, the guy naked. - There's a, oh, the fat guy, yeah, yeah. - The fat guy puts his ass on his face. - What's his name? - I'm sorry, I apologize to you. I love, you know what I love? I love Sasha Baron Cohen in "Sweeney Todd" when they do the duel, the shaving duel. Well, they're both shaved the guy. - I haven't seen it, but I saw him. - Oh, my God. - He did in "Lay Meal." - Sasha Baron Cohen does "Lay Meal." - He does "Master of the House," doesn't he? - He does. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - No, I've never seen that. - You've never seen "Lay Meal." - Is it in some anniversary issue of the show? - I think it was a movie with, yeah, Anne Hathaway. She plays some, like a prostitute. They cut her hair. - He does "Master of the House" in "Lay Meal." I didn't know that. - Is it bullshit if it's no talking, if it's only songs? That's what me and my girlfriend had an argument about. I was like, keep watching. She's like, there's not, they're not doing sentences. It's just songs. I mean, you gotta think about people who wrote opera, how they try to keep it interesting. You're not gonna say, don't go, I am hungry. I want to call this food store to deliver my food. - Yeah, it's kind of bullshit. - Well, everything that's kind of quotidian. - You don't want them. - It's like, man, I went to the house. It's kind of bullshit. It doesn't have to be a song. - He does it slightly better than that. - Just fucking say it, dude. - But I'm saying the idea of an opera, which I tend to operate now in that, and everything is sung. And I left her behind the screen, so I don't speak German or whatever, and you wonder how they have to cut out. - Vlogger has a lot of good thoughts. - Yeah, vlogger has some good lines. - He has a great, great, great, great joke. - Honestly, if I was a German non-Jew person, and they were playing that, it's very emotional, you could sell a fascism with that music. - I do get a little nervous when I put on a vlogger, I must say. - No, it's fine, you can listen to it. - It's okay, I give you a permission. - I give you the permission. - Yeah, I give you the permission. It's so beautiful. Tan Houser, you're a big classic music guy. - Tristan and his older is my favorite. - That's your thing, classical. - Yeah, I'm a big nut. I was in L.A., and I was driving around. I was living out there for a while, going back and forth for 30 years. I had a home in both places, and I'm in the car, and I put on the local classical station, and I just, I never turned back. All I listened to, and I was pretty much classical. - Do you remember what it was playing? - Yes. - Vlogger. - Richard Wagner. - Richard Wagner. - Richard Wagner. - I had a **** on the show recently, I was like. - No. - I said, yeah, I'm afraid to release it. I don't think I've ever met a racist. I think that was the first racist I've met. - She was a racist on your show? - Oh my God. But I didn't know how to interact with it, 'cause it was kind of a woman was yelling at me, and I really hate when that happens. - She was yelling at you? - I was trying to, yeah, yeah, I was trying to just, I was trying to, I think I said to her, I'm nice. Stop yelling at you. - Whenever women yell, just say the same thing, which is my line of ways, which is-- - They're so mad. - Well, a friend of mine taught me this, which was women yell at you, no offense. But when women yell at you, just say the line, I don't understand. - Really? They'll say something to you, and you go, I don't understand. - They don't like it when you ask questions about what they mean. They really don't like that. - I say I don't understand. I'll be gone in five minutes. - They don't like it when-- - I bet you like, the Zora on's girl has probably mad at him for working too long, 'cause he was campaigning too much. - Yes. - You know, I think it's exciting about that. - Excited about where the city's head of the direction ran it. - Oh, I think he's pretty smart, huh? - Yeah, I met him. I met him, I think. - He's been down the show? - He's straight, not yet, but it was really, you know, in '92, my parents were really excited about Clinton, right? And they had don't stop thinking about tomorrow on the Fleetwood Mac, and then it kind of dawned on me that that was the first boomer, right? That was in national politics. And when I met him, we just both like soccer and hip hop, and we're just the lamest guys. - You and you, me and Zora, yeah. - We were just-- - Where'd you meet him? - I met him in Queens, I've-- - You mean Mamdani. - And it's kind of representation. It's kind of Wakanda for me. It's like, we're both like, you know what I mean? Like, he's a millennial. He's like a, he was a uniquely normal. - Well, the strange introduction I ever had was I was at the Kennedy Center Honors years ago. I used to go pretty frequently and did a couple shows. - For Vogue. - For Vogue. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Vogue was, Vogue was daughter of the award. - Oh yeah. - The thing was that we were there and my friend, who passed away, she was a big lobbyist in Washington, Liz Robbins, ever going through the luncheon. There's like four different events that you can go to for there for the weekend. So I go down there, for the whole weekend, then I'm there with this and that. And you're saying hi to Richard. Get part, you're saying hi to this person. And you're saying hi to this congressman or whatever. And this woman, Senator or whatever. And as I don't see over here, and Liz goes, a new no-secretary Kissinger, and I went, - Oh, wow. - And Henry Kissinger just in front of me. - Hands up. - And right before I had, like within the day or two, his mother had died. His mother lived up in Harlem in like a little Jewish section of uptown. And she was a big community activist. She was very, very well loved there. And I turned to him and I'm going, here's this guy who is essentially, you know, a war criminal. - Yeah, he got a lot of. - He's in front of me. - And he's in front of me and I go, "I'm sorry about your mother." And he leans and then hugs me. He was very nice of you. - And he was so lit. He was like a ball. - So thank you so much for seeing this. And I thought to myself, "I'm comforting Henry Kissinger." - Was he like five, two, but like rotund? - He was a little bit of a firehouse. - He got a ton of pussy, you know that? - He got more ass, but that's like enough. - What is that? - That's like a Nixon with a. - The tapes, do you like the Nixon tapes? - Do I like the Nixon tapes? - I love it. (laughing) - I mean, like-- - It felt Nixon tapes. - I think the writing, I think, okay, from a dramatic arts perspective, I think the writing on Nixon was the best writing. In terms of like this guy's just a fucking-- - Oliver Stone's movie. - No, I'm just saying, no, the guy Richard Nixon, like the best person is Lincoln, right? He's like the best, he was, he did a good job, right? He saved the union brother, come on, stop. But anyway, Nixon was just this loser, and every time he showed up anywhere, they'd be like, oh, it's Richard Nixon. You know the thing about Pat, right? - What about her? - When he was trying to like-- - She smelled like her. - She was like, no, you're fucking Richard Nixon. I'm not gonna date you. And he drove them on the date. - And then he would have Shaferone her for like 18 months with-- - When you see Oliver's movie about Nixon, right? With the other guy with it, you see Oliver's movie about Nixon, and what's in it? Mao says that to Kissinger. The interpreter says the chairman wants to know how a fat man like you can have so many girlfriends. - Well, he's paying for you, probably, though. - No, no, no. - How many girls you got in your lifetime? Probably over a thousand miles. - How many women know that's very-- - Well, calm your movie starts. - No. - That's busy, man. - You're a busy man. - I look at the movie. - I got 20 minutes. - No, you don't have 20 minutes. No, no, no. - No, I'd say it's the movie. - Oh, the movie, you got more time, right? Your kid could walk home. (clears throat) - In your memoir, you talk about when you're a young actor living in New York City, you talk about that you're into prank halls. You and your roommate touch, right? - My roommate, by the way, I used to do this from my ex-girlfriend. - Did you? - Driving him from Long Island on Sunday nights would be driving on the L.I.E. late at night and we would leave messages on corporate voicemails. So you'd call up and it would say, "Tribiche, human resources, press 26." And then you'd press 26 and the voice would come out and go, "Hi, it's Steve Regan." And leave him, "Match me after the turn." And I'd get down and go, "Oh my God, Steve, "last night was so magical." (laughs) You left your watch on the night table. - Absolutely. - It's whatever the gag was. - Yeah, yeah. Could you prank call my father? - Here's my pitch. You prank call him as Donald Trump and you say, "Your son is in big trouble "with the administration." - I should be sure. Well, you know what, I can't do these voices. - You've got trouble on TV. - But no, but you say your Trump and the right way you're father will know what's stupid. - No, my dad won't know. He's gonna think that I'm going to Gitmo and it's gonna be so funny. - Well, I think I should say like, somebody should say, not you, of course, somebody should say, a Holt and Leinver director Patel. - Oh yeah, cat's come home. I can't believe he wouldn't really know who that was. - My dad would have some words for Trump. I think it's gonna be funny. - But let's face to your first. - You want to do it now? - Yeah, it's be hilarious. This is gonna be a moment of, like, talking about a problem. - There's a problem with Tori. - I don't have a phone on me. I mean, well, yes, this is Donald Trump. I have your son. - No, I'm not gonna say I'm Donald Trump. - No, just say it's, it's gonna be, because my dad is-- - Sam, the president. - Yeah. - He hates Trump, but if I say I'm Trump, that's gonna give it away there. It's bullshit. What's his name? - Max? - Yeah, Max Freelund. He's a great guy. - Max Bonner, there's your phone. - No, he's not, come on, dude. We're on the other side. We're on the hiding side. - Okay. Hold the line for the president of the United States, please. - Okay, one moment. Dad, I think it's for you. - Hello. - Hold the line for the president of the United States. please. Is this max, so you're there? Max, I'm going to file in front of me that says you're in Vegas, is that where you were? Max Vegas. You're talking to the President of the United States, Donald J. Trump, and I want you to know your son. Your son is a mess. Okay, we got to get him out of the country. We're sending him down to Uruguay. Uruguay. We're going to teach communications at the Uruguayan University of Communications, okay? We want you to talk to him really quickly. He's only going to be in the country for another three or four hours. Here he is, Max, thank you. Hold on. Say hello to your father Max. Max, I've been in trouble with your administration. I know. He's a Brit. He's a Brit. He's sad everywhere. Yeah, we're Cape Tony and just dad, I'll talk to you later. You've been in South Africa and they got it right the first time, okay? You've been cranked by the best. Oh, you hear that? You're coming for that James. Peeric victory. Yeah, okay. I love you, dad. I love you, dad. Dad, you say I love you back. I can say I love you back. I said I love you back. Oh, okay. Thanks a lot. Thank you, Max. He's really turned so nice recently. Yes. I can't handle it. Was he not like that when you were young? No, well, we had some time. Are you bitter and cynical because of the way you treated him? No, no. He's my best friend. He made me tough because we'd sit there arguing but it would always be like a compliment but it would be a criticism. The other day he's like just be yourself. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Who's that? Myself? Who's how many kids in your family? Two. I'm that older one. Who's the other one? Zoe. We have the same person. That's the one that answered the phone. Yeah, yeah. She was in. She was in. Can I ask you if I could take your phone and could I do a prank call on Robert DeNiro perhaps? Can you get it going, though? I don't have anybody here. What about President Clinton? He's a real magic guy. Hillary Clinton. I mean, Chelsea Clinton? No, no. Yeah. If I gave you a number and you pranked called Chelsea Clinton, I would be out of this country and about it. I'm telling you, I'm not going to mess anything with you. Robert DeNiro is going to think this is really funny. DeNiro is a very non-sense guy. He's very busy during the day. Is he? He's like that in real life. He's open to restaurants and hotels around the world and he's a very successful businessman. No boo. No boo. Is that annoying? No boo. No, you guys like dress up in costumes and pretend to be other people and then he's like a serious business man. He's loaded with money. Yeah, but it's like, you don't have to. You're fucking Robert DeNiro. But while you make, I mean, I know people, how well name, who were like maybe you've heard of them. Who haven't, who took the money they made. And it might not have been hundreds of millions of dollars in fees like Leo or, you know, whatever. Leo? DeCaprio. But these guys make a lot of money in fees. But there's people I know who made less money in fees, but they invested that money. What do you mean fees like attacking fees? You're fee. Oh, like sag. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Oh, fees like you're paid on a movie. Yeah. Yeah. You make a movie and you get paid. You know, you're doing Tom Cruise. You get $50 million to do. It's the coolest job. Right. But what I'm saying is that the, you just say the words, right? And you get $50 billion? No, no, no. He does a lot more than that for $50 million. Do you have, do you have Tom Cruise? I'm just a huge fan. Why Tom's number? Yeah. You have a sister. But if I call her, who's she? Who's she? Yeah. She's Tom Sister. Wow. She runs a lot of business. He's one of, he's one of my favorites. But I'm saying is that those, those people, I know people who've taken less money, they haven't made as much money, but they invested it so wisely. They're rich beyond belief. If I told you some of them, you'd die. And De Niro is the same way. That's in businesses. Who is the most money? Was the most money, if anyone had ever met in my life, I have to say one of the Beatles would probably be the most wealthy people. Macca? Can we call Macca? Oh, no. No. Why? You had to follow you out with Macca? No. No. No. No. I just, I mean, for me, I kind of went underground for a while when I had my issue in New Mexico that I had to deal with. I mean, Macca, he's, he wrote some of the best, best off. Well, we're friend. I mean, we have a lot of music guys here. This guy over here, Jake is really close to me. You play, are you? Yeah. He jams. Where is he? Me and Macca. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Your buddy's with him? Big time. Oh, he's being serious? I mean, he is, he's, he's the best. He's like my favorite. Him and Bob Dylan. You missed all that because you were listening to like violins. I listened to you to Strauss. Strauss. Strauss. Strauss. Now, do you know, do you like Bob Dylan? Oh, yeah. He's the best. What do you love about Bob Dylan? He's, he's like a winning out on Bob Dylan. Oh, I mean, it's every era for different periods of your life. I went heavy Christian after a terrible breakup. And I was like, I did the, that I realized it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, it's so nice. What brand of Christianity? The Bob Dylan Christian. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's like a, you're a Bob Dylan Christian. Well, he had three Christian albums and I was like, what? Maybe God loves you. Right? And I was like, we didn't have that for Jews. Our God is like Trump. He's like, if you don't respect me, I'm going to smite you. If you make a golden calf, like I'm going to kill all of you. He's like very insecure. He's like a bitch. But like, it's not real. None of this is real. But like, I'm like, Oh, it's so nice that the Jesus thing that God loves you so much to lay your son die. But then I snapped out of it. How would you define Judaism? What's your definition? What makes you? What's the definition? I have a friend of mine that gave me a great definition. You do the thing. You do the thing and it's boring. But like your grandpa was born too. So you feel like you're, you're not going to be born. Yeah. It's kind of nice. It's gibberish. It's like spills. I don't know. But it's like, you don't want to be the one that drops the one you raise very observant. I mean, if I do it, I know all the, like all the words. You know the word. I did. Yeah. I did full parsha, hofftora, and I led. He went to Hebrew school. I didn't. I went to, I was bar mitzvah to Orthodox because it was free. That's why. Yeah. It was free together. But I don't know. I think it's kind of, it's just like, that's kind of nice. The boredom is kind of, it doesn't make sense. You don't know what they're saying. But your grandpa did make sense to him. And that's kind of why, you know what I mean? But I grew up Catholic. So I'm, I'm, what are cousins? They spoke Latin back then. So it was also gibberish. But yeah, we both like, like hate ourselves and we both think that life is just agony. It's, we're cousins. I mean, all of my friends are either Catholic or Jewish or black. Catholic Communism to me is about redemption. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, you're like, no matter how bad you are, you have to see that there's a chance that be redeemed from what they did. Oh, yeah. I saw the Christian thing when I realized that hell is the meanest thing ever. Can you imagine forever? Where is it? And you're a baby and you haven't been baptized yet? What about hell was something that was just your hell? Like I think you hate like your own personal. Yeah. I mean, it's sad. Yeah, I think it's just sad that people die. Wow, this is getting pretty, it's just sad that you have, you know you're alive and then it's afraid to die. Oh, yeah. It's the scariest thing ever. I don't understand it. It's people are like, public speaking is my biggest fear. I was like, what about fucking? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. For ever think of being thrown out of a plane. What about fucking? By our narcotics? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's never seen those movies when they do that. What when they think the enemy and they bind them up and then they throw them out of the plane? No. You ever see that? Like in a drug movie? Oh, like, like, like, they take a guy they just don't like Pedro when they throw them out of the plane. Oh, yeah, like if they're criminals, like part of the enemy. Yeah, yeah. But those guys are ready to die, you know, they're like, you know, they're like, he's my thigh. You know, like, it was that good acting? Okay. Can we talk? Can we? We like Pedro? You might be kid. Can we talk a little bit about your, I've been going back through your filmography and your performances and it's just like when you appear on a screen, it's like, oh, it's, it's my pal. It's like my old pal. And this is going to be great. I mean, you could make a real turd watchable. Pearl Harbor, you're like, you make the, your parts watchable. And that's one of the shittiest movies of all time. I mean, I'm serious. Yeah. And it's just like, I, I, um, I watched "Honiferated" October with my dad. This is like a hunky leading man. That fan, yeah. From, from like learning about what transpired afterwards, it wasn't the perception I had of you. I feel like the industry has been like a frustration, you know, like, especially when it came to like reprising your role as Jack Wright. Well, they wanted me to sign up with a, like, a blank contract. When we start, when we finish, like, you, like, you only do this, and you never do anything else. And I had an opportunity, as I wrote in my memoir to do the street car on Broadway, which is a very, that was like the opportunity for an actor that was it. I would never have that opportunity again ever. My perception was that they, they, they kind of like promised you in there. It's for me out of the plane. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's not bad to get replaced by the coolest guy of all time, right? Imagine it was Brian Denny playing Jack, Jack Ryan. Yeah. It's, it's Han Solo. I mean, when I read about that, I was like, it's just so cynical. Like, it's a, you're like an artist, right? And when you talk about performing and acting, you get so passionate about it. I want to talk about that. Well, you realize back then, but I was 89, 90, the movie came out 90. And then the ensuing couple years, the early 90s, I learned that you just really can't rely on any minute, what they say there. So I just, whenever they'd say, blah, blah, blah, to them go, Oh, that's great. Never counting on any of it happening. Yeah. It's very tough. You just have to have monsters to do it for you. I have a whole team of ghouls. What was the genesis of this meaning? We were like, we're - You're a Republican in the basement of your mother's - Yeah, he is. - He's a joke, it's a joke that became a real thing, yeah. - So was a joke and your mom goes, "Please, you're so annoying." - This, no. - She supported you. - She supported you. - No, no, no, yeah, I was on a podcast that was for, like, I mean, whatever, (beep) guys, I mean, just idiots. He didn't smile and now I've, okay, I was on a podcast for like ugly men, right? - Oh, for ugly men. - Yeah, yeah, just like the worst, you know, and it was a cult assassin, became very successful. And then one of us-- - What was it called? - It was called Comtown. We tried, they-- (laughing) - Yeah. - Anyway, it got successful. It's very, I don't know. I was just there pretty much, but you know, one of the guys left, and then the other guy's idea was to make, like, by far the least popular, nebyshy, kind of like the glasses, you know, allergies. You, I was, we all played a role on the show, on what's it called Comtown? - Yeah, so they did. - On that show, we had like a leading man compared to them, but they all-- - Oh, no, no, no, absolutely, yeah. So sometimes I wasn't even, I was barely even there. But, yeah, I think we went a little bit manic and publicly proclaimed we were gonna make a television show, we didn't know what cameras or anything, and then we recreated the Dick Kavitch show. - I have an image of you in a set like this, in your basement, and your mother, whatever, and you're sitting there, and there's a line you say. - No, no, no. - And that line you're like sitting there and you go, "I'll show them." - Well, no, I mean-- - Was that it? - I'm not like a scary, I'm not a scary guy like that. - No, but it does be scary. - No, no, no, I think it was just like-- - Passionate. - And then the real guests were coming, and then I decided, for the first time in my life, in '35 to try, and then I've kind of seen myself progress, and it's given me a sense of self-worth, and it feels like I'm not like fast-forwarding to being dead, and it's just a little work. - Why are you looking at me? - Dude, are you gonna punch me? I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna fuck you up, dude. - Remember that, doctors appointment, you were supposed to make a while ago, that one you meant to book, but you got sidetracked and completely forgot until now, right now, while you're watching this. - I'm not laughing at the company. I'm laughing at this guy, who was reminded by me just now that he has to go to the dentist for an appointment for his biannual cleaning, or an overdue annual checkup that's been three years in the making. Why not book it today? ZockDock makes it easy to find the right doctor right now, and it's all online. You'll probably be able to book an appointment before the end of this ad. I don't know about you guys, but my entire social feed is filled with different health trends. Like cotton, sheezes, an entire nutrition plan, or red light therapy, can solve every skin problem. That's my entire social feed. I say we give the algorithm a rest. Turn IRL health care professionals who can help you meet your health goals, and with ZockDock, it's easy. You can find doctors that are right for you, and easily book an appointment. I booked an I appointment with Dr. Adam Freelive. There's got a park slope. You know that? I went to go see him. As I get older, I keep catching myself thinking, I should go to the doctor more. You know, to deal with things like sleep trouble, stress from work, et cetera, et cetera. But it can be tough to go to the doctor. I want to keep myself healthy, but the system makes it impossible to find the right doc for my needs until I found out about ZockDock. They make it so easy to find the right fit and book an appointment fast directly on their website. ZockDock is a free app at a website where you can search and compare high quality in-doward doctors and click to easily book an appointment. With ZockDock, you can book in-doward appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty from mental health to dental health. Primary care and urgent care and more. You can filter for doctors who take your insurance, are located nearby, are a good fit for any medical need. You may have and are highly rated by verified patients. Once you find the right doctor, you can see the actual appointment openings. Choose a time slot that works for you and click easily to book a visit. Appointments made through ZockDock can happen fast, typically within 24 to 72 hours of booking. And more often than not, you can get same day appointments. I use this and you should too. I like going to the doctor and I've been very recently and apparently it happens the most guys. So stop putting off those doctors' appointments and go to ZockDock.com/TAFS to find and easily book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash TAFS. ZockDock.com slash TAFS. (upbeat music) Guys, I take creatine on a regular basis. In fact, I took it right before I did this. I start to use it every day for respect of the people around me. And ever since I've been taking creatine, there's been a pep of my step and these boys have fallen in line because you've got a creatine boss. What has that done for me? It's not just for building muscles. It has become a daily essential for strength, focus, recovery, aging and cognitive performance. So now moment, this is making your daily creatine routine even easier with new creatine shoes. These bite-sized lemon lime shoes make consistency effortless. You just chew and go, boys. And grow the one girl watching. Each shoe delivers exactly one gram of Creeapure Creeatine Monohydrate, the gold standard single source from Germany. Germany. Each shoe delivers exactly one gram of Creeapure Creeatine Monohydrate, the gold standard single source from Germany and NSF certified for sport R. Circle R went register trademark, which means it's independently tested for purity safety and label accuracy, trusted by Olympic athletes, pro sports teams and elite military operators. Momentous spent years testing until they created the first chewable that actually meets the momentous standard TM. Uncompromising science, meticulous sourcing and real transparency. I hate when they lie. No artificial sweetyers, no fillers. Just science, back clinically proven performance in a portable, crevable format, whether you're training, working or traveling. This is a performance without pause. Pause. (laughs) May just pour your body in your brain every single day, unlike generic brands. Momentous doesn't follow trends. They perfectly have fundamentals. And this is Creeatine done right. Right now, Momentous is offering hour listeners 35% off your first order with promo code T.A.F. Go to livemomentus.com and use promo code T.A.F. Ask for up to 35% off your first order. That's livemomentus.com promo code T.A.F.S. When my life gets busy meal prep usually falls off the list and even when we do it, it's the same boring chicken and rice on repeat. That's why I reach for tempo, balanced fresh meals that are actually good for you. Taste great and already in minutes, no skipping meals, no sad takeout, no endless prep. Tempo delivers fresh chef-crafted dietician-approved meals right to your door. Each meal is perfectly proportioned for lunch or dinner and ready in just two minutes. Real food, real fast without the sad desk lunch or drive through great. And we know who in this office has sad desk lunches. We all talk about it behind your back. Anyway, with 20 new recipes every week, made from nutrient-rich ingredients, tempo keeps things exciting and helps you stay consistent with healthy habits and no matter what your goals. There's a tempo meal for you, protein-packed meals, but up to 30 grams of protein, calorie conscious, carb conscious or even fiber rich. It's convenient, but also flexible enough to fit the way you want to eat. Tempo was also the official partner of the 2025 Cross-Figures, when we think that their meals are built to support optimal nutrition and performance for a limited time. Tempo is offering my listeners 60% off your first box. Go to Tempo Meals.com/tafs. The tempo meals.com/tafs for 60% off your first box. Tempo meals.com/tafs. Rules and restrictions may apply. It's really hard to find personalized gifts for people that you're closest to because I feel like I don't know them. Why is it so hard to find a gift for people you're closest to? Think your grandparents. For anyone still hunting for the right gift, aura frames makes it look like you planned it all along. Unlimited free photos and video. Just download the aura app and connect to Wi-Fi, preload photos before it ships, keep adding from anywhere anytime. And I put a really funny one on my grandma's. For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting aura frames.com to get $35 off or as best-selling Carver Matt Frames, named number one by Wire Cutters by using promo code Tafs at checkout. That's auraframs.com promo code Tafs. The deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast. So order yours now, get it in time for the holidays, support the show by mentioning us at the checkout. Tell 'em we sent ya. Tell your grandma the Adam Friedland show sent you terms and conditions apply. - I've been like, I watched the monologue from Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross. I have like so many friends that went to the revival that were like, that was fucking bullshit. They didn't have put that coffee down. - No. - It was like, 'cause that was only for the film. - Right. - Did Mammett write that for you? - Yes, not for me, he wrote it for the film. And so like, do you conceive of that as a moment for you? - I really don't care in terms of like, I never really watch my own stuff and value it in any way. - It's the best. - I mean, yeah. - Well, no, no, but I'm saying that I called Mammett and I go, you won the Pulitzer Prize for the play. Why did you feel it necessary to add something to it? You won the Pulitzer. He said, I never believed these guys were criminals. I never believed they could commit a crime. They didn't have a criminal nature. So I needed another ratchet. I needed another turn of the screw to make them commit a crime. And you're gonna come in, you're gonna tell 'em, if you don't get this done tonight, it's over. So he brought me in to do that. And it was really tough 'cause I admired all of them and I had to piss in their face all day for three days. - Did it feel real? Like, 'cause the-- - I thought Ed Harris was gonna punch me in the face. - Really, because that's what I imagine. In that room, you're with the murders, right? - Do you like, is there a competitive aspect of it? Is it like, you don't wanna get acted off the screen? Like, did you bring it really because like, fucking Pacino's and Jack Levin were like there? - The Jack, I admire him. Well, you just really, I mean, everything you do, you've gotta have some motivation. So it's like, I'm there with Foley. I've said this a million times. I'm there with Foley, who's the director, and I said, oh, this is tough man. I mean, I'm just so mean to them. And Foley said to me, who just died recently. He said, it's like that scene in Patton, we slap the soldier in the tent. - The way he has to show-- - You call yourself a soldier. You have to show, show, show. And he goes, this scene is you call yourself a salesman. He said, these guys, you're doing it for their own good. You're doing it to help them. You're helping them. I remember sitting there, I was like, pop by after he ate the spinach, you know what I mean? I'm gonna sit there, go on. - That's fucking cool. But I'm like, you know, I got out of the chair and I got out of my mat. - Yeah. - And we were ready to kill. - Did they give you your flowers? Was Pacito like, whoah, you regret, you regret? - No, he wasn't in the scene. - No, no, he wasn't in the scene. That's right. - Jack, I've been saying like, you-- - No, Jack Lamon didn't say a word to me. They all didn't say a word to me. - He didn't say a word to me. - No, no, they just stayed in the zone. You know what I mean? They were all in that zone all day long, three days. - In my mind is a moment in like, it feels like some of the best acting I've ever seen in a film. And you're only, you were probably on set for what, two days. - Yeah, yeah, I have to. - And you kind of like steal, you steal-- - The most exciting thing in that movie was a good example was, you know, it's the people you work with, obviously the actors are a big part of it. But also the crew, like I've always worked with up and very blessed to work with some of the greatest cinematographers in history. And Juan Ruiz Ancía, who was the DP on that film, he was like, you know, but Banko's guy, and he was, I love him. Anyway, Juan Ruiz Ancía, he was going to work with Dom McAlpine, I'm going to go with Toll, John Toll, I work with, you know, I'm forgetting now, but Bob Richardson, the legendary Bob Richardson, the one I did, uh-- - Is there ever a time where they're like, they don't speak English? - Yeah, you know the story. - What's the story? - Carlo DiPoma. - Oh, of course. That's, that's-- - I didn't speak English very well. We did Woody Allen's movie. - How does Woody communicate with the movie? - He doesn't talk to you. - He's like, he's just telling-- - They go off and mumble. - He's going with you. - Yeah. - You put the camera near her. - Yeah. - You close it to her. (audience laughs) You did three, Woody's? - I did three, Woody's, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. In transitioning to like, uh, being a comedic actor, it's like, you have a classical training, right? You studied at NYU and like, uh-- - Strossberg. - But kind of, in some ways, the way I see it is like, you at the TV, that was the beginning of your education. - That's where you learn. - Right? - Watching other people. - And it's kind of like, you were picking it. That was like, the beginning of theater school for you. Right? And like, are you the best actor you've ever been right now? Like, is it something that evolves over time? - Well, I think it's hard to, I'd rather have a smaller role in a great film. - Yeah. - Than have a big role in a mediocre film. - Yeah. - You know, the key is, are you making a film with people who, I said this and I, I said this quote, in a documentary I did, I said, avoiding any kind of relationship or any kind of communication with the director. They're not availing yourself of the director's skills. I said, it was like trying to avoid the birth canal where you're being born. Like, oh, it goes through the director, they're making the film. So if you make a film with a good director, you have an increased chance. I've made films where we knew that if everybody did their job perfectly, every day, the most we could hope for was mediocrity. I mean, it wasn't on the page. Well, I wanted to go to work. But when I work with Marty or somebody like that, and I'm like, you know, fuck. That's exciting. I mean, you were in two, you kind of sold departed too. - No, no, no. - No, no, no, no. You've seen still-- - No, no, no. But I love doing the aviator because I love that period. I love Lee and when that role-- - Oh, yeah, he's won. - I was exactly. And his daughter is my neighbor on Long Island. She was Betsy DeVecchi. - Paneth? - She sat with her. Betsy DeVecchi, he said to me, she-- - She got fat stacks, no? - No, she's-- - No, she's probably big. How's her? - Yeah. - Oh, she's passed away. - Oh, I'm sorry. - She had a nose out. - I'm sorry. May her memory be a blessing. - Some of the story comes. But anyway, so a trip, I'm there with her. And she goes, do you think that Mr. Scorsese would like to have my dance luggage in the film? And I go, I don't know, I can go up and ask him. And she had Halapurton Luggards, that stainless steel luggage, beautiful luggage. We all stamp with the logo of Paneth on there. And I remember those thinking, my God, it's like, sell me this fucking luggage right now. - Right. - For a million dollars, I'll give you a million dollars. - Did you sell Marty? - Yeah. - No, I told Marty a money, but I'm like, no. - That sucks because you were trying to impress him. You were like, Marty, I found the real luggage of the guy. - I realize your research isn't to change the script. I've had that happen. - That's not changing the script. You're like, go and above and be on. You're being a good student. You're like, you're trying to bring what you can. - I mean, it's Martin Scorsese. Are there directors that you've wanted to fucking just pummel? Like, some of them have to be like, manipulative fucking sociopathic. - I've been in situations where early on, I don't even think they roll the camera. Like, you're in meetings before. And the guy's obviously not, doesn't have anything to say. Like, you just think differently. I don't want to judge people and say mean things about them. But there's like one or two cases where I sat there and I said to the producers, we get alone in a room and I go, get somebody else. I don't want to do that. I want to go home. - Yeah, because you're naturally manipulating someone into giving a performance, right? So there is some sort of a power. - You gotta have a decent director. I did this movie, The Cooler. - Great. - And Wayne Cranber was the writer-director. And it was like, and I just loved him. He was really, really, he was into listening to what you had to say. But in the end, you defer to the fact like, if you read a script and you're agreed to do the film, you're agreed to do that script. You can't come in there, which many actors do, and try to change things after the fact. You come in and then you say to them, let's do some alternatives. We'll do it as written. Then let's do some improvisations. But always do it as written. That's what obligated to do. - We just had Bill Macy who was also the movie. And I say Bill because it's like, I'm also famous. He said, I can call him Bill. It's kind of sick. - I mean, three movies with Bill. - Bill H. Macy. Yeah, but he was the, you were nominated for the cooler. - I think the cooler with him goes to Mississippi and then I did a state man with, with Mammoth. - So he, Mammoth was like his kind of a mentor. - Yes. - And the way he described his process was like the least, like, dickheaded way that acting's ever been described to me, which is that there's no character. There's just an objective. Like, it's, you do your fucking job, right? And if you do it well-- - That's the Mammoth school. - That's the Mammoth school. - Like, did that rub off on you, were you with it? - No. - You don't buy it, you don't buy it. I work with directors, not many but a couple, would they say to me, could you do this? And do this, and I didn't quite understand, but I always go, because of time. You're part of a collaboration where time is urgent. So I say to the guy, sure, I go, I'll do that right now. Let's do another one, I'll do that. And I go right back and do exactly what I did before. - Right. - I go, how was that? - So what's your process? - Well, if the director is somebody who is, this is the torture of, not torture, but the torment of how we work now is that, if there's people who are great directors, or you think they're on to something like Wayne, when I worked with him, he wasn't famous. But when they're on to something, you do what they want to do, let them lead you. But then with other people, you have to be self-directing, which is tough. You have to decide, well, I think this is what I should do. And guys, I'll walk up to you and go, oh, don't do that, or don't do that. See, one thing you always do, I know this is, we're digressing, but one thing you always try to do is, how much of a performer is the character? So in Glen Gary, that guy was a performer. He gone around the New York real estate world and beyond, I'm straighting him out. Motivating, yeah, the motivating is their word. And so, whenever you do films and things like that, you have to wonder, it's the guy, like I always say the same tired line, which is that Robert Duval plays Boo Bradley and to kill a mockingbird, he doesn't have one line. That's one of the most shattering performances you've ever seen in your lifetime. So, well, acting is physical, acting is emotional, acting is interiority, all these different things. And when you're doing something with the director, I think I'm gonna put you're doing, it's tough. - You and Mammoth, and especially in Glen Gary Glen Ross, it's so testosterone, right? And they're so masculine those scripts. - Yeah. - Like tough. - Yeah, you're in a world where you put on costumes and you pretend to be other people, but the theatrical arts are not, like there's a sensitivity about them. But like, you can walk into the set with Mammoth and you say to yourself, the films he's directed that he's written have been less successful than the scripts he wrote that other people directed. - Yeah. - But that can't influence what you do. You have to go in with people and always say and think the best. I'm not just saying this to be warm. You go in there, you don't wanna predict failure. I've made movies where the other actor or actress was someone who, I didn't quite understand what they were doing. - What's up? - And I didn't quite understand why the director wasn't on them. - Who was it? (laughing) - And these living? We were all thinking of it. - She's the opposite. - She's the funniest person on earth. - Well, she's such a unique person, 'cause she's so funny in that way. I mean, you realize that when I worked with them, I wasn't funny when I worked with them. - Shut the fuck up. - Well, no, no, but I mean, I done some SNL, but the point is this, but I really mean this. I learned not to be funny, but I learned what was funny. A lot of things you see now on TV, I mean, a ton of it is more cute than funny, and Tina was funny. I mean, they'd hand me scripts. We do a Wednesday read through, and they'd hand us the script on a Wednesday morning, and I read it in the makeup chair, and then we go up to a lunch conference room which had cameras to be must to Burbank for the executives in California to watch, or read through a 12 noon, and they'd hand me the script, and I go see Robert Karlock for the lunch read through, and I'll come, I go, are you fucking kidding me? You want me to do, are you out of your mind? You want me to do this, which was, I was like a gay, Mexican soap opera star, playing against myself, do the paddy-duke thing. And he was like, and Karlock always said the same thing. He said, it's a big swing, it's a big swing, but we know you could, we have faith in you. - It's fun too, right? - I never had more fun in my life. - There's a particular scene, which I think your performance is a master class in comedic acting, but it's the scene where you take Tracey to meet the NBC therapist, and you play like 12 different characters. - I bust up a ship of rope. - And he starts the gazing line. - It's just, it is like a perfect scene. I actually just this morning remembered another scene of yours, which I literally maybe pee my pants when I was a kid, really younger, but in a long came poly when you're pissing next to Ben Stiller, and then you tenderly like squeezes your lips, and then you start massaging, but like after pissing, and you're his boss, of course, it's just, - I knew she was a dime store, who are the women I laid out? - Dude, who had the vision, like who knew you were funny? 'Cause you're gonna do this like, I'm not funny at all, I'm just an actor, but like, was it Lord? - I wouldn't do an SNL the first time, and what I learned was unless you're Stallone, or Schwarzenegger, where they're gonna make up fun of your persona, then I'm gonna do that. You gotta become one of the companies, pull your pants down and make an ass of yourself. - Is it more fun? - Oh, yeah, yeah. I know I love that SNL because you would never, there's things you'd do, they're not all of it, but there were things you would do that you would never do anywhere else. - Yeah. - They had that experience, you had to do that show. - Like little canteen boy? - I don't think he was little canteen boy. - What is it? - He was strapping canteen boy. - No, that's what it was. - Oh, no, no, I was, no, I was the scout measure. He was right. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know, we used to live in a fucking. - Sampler. - Better, yeah, yeah. - They got more complaints about that sketch than any sketch they had of them. - It was pretty funny, honestly. Do you ever fear that like, your perception as a celebrity might overshadow like the very reason why you're a celebrity? - Well, yeah, you have to be very careful. I tell people all the time who are young, I'm like, don't see the people who are the biggest stars, you know the least about them. - Yeah. - And they control them. - Most? - Yeah. - 'Cause if you go out, if you, if they see you, doing things in public and it's not appealing or attractive, it's not, it's not going to help you. Like I, I mean, I felt like if guys were 75 feet away with a long lens and they took a picture I never carried, was when they got up close and almost hit my wife in the teeth with the lens of their camera. - I mean, I would get, that's when I got up to, I did get, I mean, I took the bait more than months. - But it's not the bait, they're fucking hitting your wife in the face with the camera. - Almost, yeah. - Was the first time you got paparazzi like kind of cool where you like, dude, I must be sexy. - I hated them from day one. - You hated them day one. But it's an Italian guy following you around. He's like, Bella, Bella, you know, I don't know what they're like, I've never gotten one. - Well, here it's, here it's gone from like a, you see you're too young to remember, like here it's gone. Like a very, very obscure corner of the entertainment spaces or room, they were off in a little corner and all this kind of salacious gossipy stuff was very, very, very like third or fourth tier. - I feel like you know about people's lives. - And now it's industry, and now they're gonna, and making a fool of famous wealthy sports figures, music figures, entertainers of what are some actors, business men, musk, whoever, politicians to humiliate them and embarrass them publicly. That's a huge industry now, a big industry. So they're out there with nets trying to catch something. - I feel like I'm lucky that I'm not a punching guy. I'm more of a like, I'll psychologically, just play the long game, yeah. - And you stare at them. - Do you think that you were characterized as a, as like a, like a, a bully? - A tabloid fixture? - A buzzer bully, that bully is a target. I went up to one guy. - The guys that were trying to take a picture of your newborn child? - Well, one guy walks up, he, we're coming out of our building and we're walking down the block and he's walking backwards. And he's really big, it's like six, four, he's tall. And he's a big guy, you know what I mean? And he doesn't pay attention, he trips and falls and sits on a baby and a stroller. What's behind you? - Your baby? - No, no, somebody else at the moment's coming. This way, and he's going backwards. And he falls onto the, and sits on the baby and the stroller. And I thought to myself, well, I won't say what I thought. - You're like, it's my fault. - No, no. - No, I'm a, I'm a really, yeah. - We should just chop him up now, right here. - I wanted to mention something to you that I felt, and I've been, it's kind of like been dawned on me since I was like doing the research for you. And it's going back to what I said is like, that your celebrity sometimes can, has overshadowed kind of-- - My reputation is what you mean. - But it's usually the word celebrity. - Or, yeah, public life, right? Something I've picked up on is like, I watched your reality show, right? And-- - Why? - Because like, I was being thorough, but like, it really dawned, the first thought I had was like, is this what you have to do these days? Like, in a moment of extreme, like a personal crisis? - I'm weeping in a conference room with some publicists and I go, "What can I do to clean up this massive incident?" And they go, "You're gonna have seven kids." - Is it, but like, what I'm saying is, is like, for me personally, I'm like, I'm not into like celebrity gossip, but when I heard about what happened, right? It didn't sound real to me, right? - Where? - In New Mexico. - All right. - It didn't sound like a real thing that happened in the real world. I think we probably made jokes about it like, it didn't dawn on me until I was doing research for the show. And I really felt like it would be something that you would carry for the rest of your life. And it just, it kind of dawned on me that like, people don't perceive public figures as real human beings, perhaps. - I think that, in that case, among countless things I could say, was the idea that when my case imploded, it was over. It was over, not because of a statement of a jury or the cleverness of my words, the judge ended the trial. - It was thrown out, yeah. - The judge terminated the trial. She thought this is enough of this, it's insane. And when that happened, a friend of mine, a woman was an attorney, very famous attorney. She said to me that what bothered her was, she said, once they couldn't get you, it was over. The case didn't continue. They're not out there looking for the guy that bought the bullets out of the set. They're not doing, once they attempted to frame you, and they couldn't do it, it ended. Which, that should be of grave concern to everybody that lives in that community, that are just imploded because they didn't succeed at their own. - Certainly, but beyond that, I've looked at the way that it's discussed in popular discourse and on the internet, I wish I had read it. - Well, read it's bad. - It's bad, but it seems like people don't process it in a way that this is clearly something that is not someone's fault. Instead, they kind of, in a very unfair way, - It's funny. - It's lame to you. No, it's not funny. Funny is like, at least like-- - Well, a lot of them they try, they think it's funny. - Funny is at least ironic. I think people that genuinely assign blame for something that's literally that you'll carry for the rest of your life, and it really upset me, especially because I've been revisiting all your work that this thing could overshadow what is so beloved about you. - Well, I mean, on one hand, you sit in yourself, you say, carry for the rest of your life. I don't really carry anything for the rest of my life, meaning do I feel overwhelmed and pained by the suffering and the tragedy of what happened? Yes, but do I feel responsible? - No. - Because what happened was we remember, they decided to leapfrog over or pull vault over the whole idea that in the previous several days we were doing the film, we did a protocol that we did the same thing, and nobody came up to me in my shooting in the film, you know what I'm gonna say? 'Cause you did bring it up, one, two, three, four, five days, no one came up to me and said, "Hey, let's do it this way." It was only after the fact that they said, "Oh, we're supposed to do it this way." But let me just close. - I don't want to, yeah. - But I'm gonna end with a part of that. - Yeah, no. But let me just say this, which is that, having my kids and having all these children, I'm 67 years old, I got a three year old baby. So I got a lot of kids at home, little kids, and they saved my life. And I'm sure the same is true with you, which is that you get to the point where, I mean, I'm older now, but when you get to the point where you think, bless about where you get love than where you give love, one of the more frustrating and even painful things in life, is you have nobody to give your love to. You might have a lot of love to give in your heart to people, your parents are gone, what have you. And with my kids, it's like, I have a lot of love to give, and I have all these kids around me all day long, and I'm not really doing it. I wasn't doing very much for the last three and a half years. I was home all the time, and they saved me. They saved my life, to have that exchange of love, energy, with these children who are all, you know, and they all make fun of me. I show them pictures of me from old movies, and like, here I am with Michael Keaton. - And you're a pizza ass, though. - Well, no, no, but here I am with Michael Keaton. I had a good month, I had a strong month back there in the 80s, but I had a picture of me with Michael Keaton, and Gina, and me, and Beetlejuice. And I go, that's me, that's me there with a, you know, dark hair, and I'm thin. - Oh, yeah, the, - The lumberjack. - The lumberjack. And my kids look at their like, "No, no." That's a book Michael Keaton, they're like, "That's you." - That's you. - No. - Beatles shoes. - That's a cool guy. - He's a cool guy. - What I'm saying is this is like, you're an artist, right? And you're motivated in your craft. You still have artistic ambitions, right? - A couple. - What would you define as? - I want to do a play, I'm working on a play, I don't want to get into too much detail, but I'm working on a play right now. With a writer who I admire, this incredible writer who I've been friends with for years, who's, my admiration for him is boundless. And he is going to write a one-man show for me. They'll be ancillary characters for me. But I'm going to play the lead role in this one-man show, which is a real historical survey of the United States Post Cold War. And it's one figure that we funnel the whole thing through. He's the prism of the whole thing. - Who is it? - And I don't want to say Hoover, right? No, Hoover. - No, they made Hoover. - They made Hoover, Nixon. - No, but I didn't do Nixon. - Can I write Nixon? - Not somebody you'd be off the topic for your head you wouldn't be. - Kess and Jerry's got it. - Yeah. - Possibly a garden. - The Jew was a natural spy. I could say that. - Times are run by these Jews. - Yeah, yeah, he really, he really, - He was an anti-Semitic maniac, yeah. - Well, it wasn't anti-Semitic. I mean, this guy was just, his entire life, he wouldn't take no for an answer. And he just kept running for crap. I mean, you know, the pretty boys like stole the election from him, you know? - They have, they may have. - Yeah. - But he still made it to the top, and he was still kind of alone. You know, that's the thing about him. And then they kicked him out. For what? Spying on the other, I'm not a Republican. But like, spying on the other guys, they have to all be doing that. - A governor needed to be spied on. - Yeah, he was lost by a zillion. - Let's get back to the exchange of the love energy shock of a governor. - When you're in bed with your girlfriend. - Yeah. - And Pat-- - Your name is Pat? - Nix, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Pat, I am escort your one day. - Should we? - I just want you to go to your show. - So, but the thing is, is that, so you're there in the house, and maybe the time, as I say in those, like those austi-spamante commercials, whatever, like, you know, the time is right. When do you know the time is right? When do you know she? You know where she's going to? - Well, sex or love, or what? - When she lets me. - She says, she signals. - Yeah, she's the girl. That's the rules, right? - Is that what it is? - You know what? - I can't, what? - You know, pin her on the ground. - I'm not gonna go there. I'm a gross guy, I want to have a little time. - You swallow her. - She leads. - Yeah, of course. - She turns you like, let's go. - I mean, that's the rule. I mean, that's the system. - That what you do? - I don't want to, you know, because when you do it, she's like, oh, I feel disgusted. - You don't walk in. You have a drink of lean, look at her go. Get your clothes. - You know what the worst thing in the world is? Is when they're on their period, their boobs are a little bit bigger, and we forget every month, it's a symptom. - I felt her head. - God is laughing up there. - She wants you to take control. Touch my hand. - No, she's, she, no. - You're gonna reach for her in any curve you want to squeeze. Don't take no place. - She just, I don't. - Shover on the bed, just shove her on the bed. - I, I don't, I, do you think a woman, do you think like, if I learned how to kill someone with my bare hands, do you think I'd get more respect from my girlfriend? - What is this a Hitchcock movie? - I don't know, I just feel like if, as a man, you should be like, this guy can say, take, if you don't know what I mean by this, then you'll hope it's just, take charge. - Which, really? - Women want you to decide where you're gonna go to dinner. - Can we, can we, can we pay, follow her? - Can we, can we pay, follow her right now? - Yeah, she doesn't wanna be on the show. She doesn't even know, she doesn't even know that I'm, she doesn't need my help, you do. - What, I'm not, what am I gonna do? - Take charge. - What am I gonna force my, I'm gonna put her in a ball gown and then do a, do a, do a waltz. - You're gonna walk up to her blouse, you're gonna whip it open. - Really? I, I think she'd yell at me for her, for, for her shirt. - And get a box of shirts, do it every night. - She stops me from getting hit by a car, like at least once every two weeks. It's a good system we have, take charge. - I don't know. - The reservation, you come home. You have sex before, I never, I never, I never, I never. - What the hell do I know from restaurants? Wait, can I, can I, can I go back to the love thing you were saying? - Yeah. - You, you've lost your parents? - Yeah, my parents have died. - So yeah, I lost a parent, like five years ago and, - Who was it? - My mother, the best, the best, the twin, the best one. But that's kind of what, what my major takeaway was. And you know, it's really corny. Guys, don't, just, it's so embarrassing when I'm saying my, it's my boy, dude. But it's like, why all the songs are about it, and like poetry, like most movies are about love, and I think it's like, the first time I ever saw like a point to anything was that our family was all together and it kind of, yeah, it gave me a new appreciation. - I think a fun experiment for you or anybody as much because you're so young, man, I'm older. - Yeah. - And my, my garden is planted here, so to speak. But for you, it's like, remember, always, at least entertain the idea that your private life is exactly different from, completely different from your professional life. - What do you mean? - There's a certain way here, and when you go home, you mix a drink, you rip the shirt off, you throw it on the bed, and you would ever - You would say to people on the show that I do that. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - You should be who you are that's gotten you here. - Yeah, and she's like, I have cramps and stuff, and then I've already torn all the clothes, and I'm-- - Damn, right here. - I'm hard and stuff, and then I have to go to the bathroom and jerk off. - You could have left all that, let's cut that. - Wait, you don't curse. You're not a, you're not a, you don't-- - Well, I can curse, but I'm just trying, I don't know, I don't know. - I'm just saying that, if she has cramps or a headache, and then I've done all that, then I'm like, what the-- - At least you tried. - Well, yeah, but then there's a torn clothes, and then I'm like, I'm like-- - I'm not caring about this. - And then I'm a boner, then I have to go to the bathroom and jerk off, like a loser. - Wait, can you-- - Good night, everybody. - I'm done, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done. - I would've, I would've just-- - I got time for one more. Ask me an important question. - Okay, it doesn't involve your boner or-- - What the hell? What you-- what-- I'm sorry, dude. I wasn't the hottest guy in the world, and I didn't have sex with a thousand women. - But you will be. Go ahead. - Why do you have a good personality at all? - I suppose so. - As like a hot guy with like a-- you know, like why-- I had to develop a personality because I thought that I would never find a wife. - So take your mind off the fact you-- - I think that you're probably like-- you've probably always been great with the ladies, and you developed-- it makes me-- - I agree. - Why is a guy that looks good also funny? It's kind of already-- - I'm not that funny, yeah. - No, you're funny, bro. - I told him to do that whole thing to my girlfriend, that was hilarious. - I think you should just-- take charge. I said just take charge. All right, so the last thing I'll say is this, and that is that-- the more and more you work in this business, and the more and more you care less about the outside, so to speak. And I was younger, dying my hair, per style, my hair, the clothes, and then eventually I got seven kids, and I thought I don't have the time for this. I like-- - You also had the chest music, too. - Is that what I have? - Yeah, that was when chest music was big. When he was at home, he had like-- - I had surgery. I had my skin cancer. - Really, I'm sorry about that. - Yeah, I can't grow chest hair. - You don't have any hair? - No, the low testosterone probably, or-- - You don't have any hair? You have any pubic hair? - Oh, my balls, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - So when you have a boner, when she won't have sex, when you have a boner, it's a hair boner, or it's a hairless boner. - Well, you got to trim around the baby. - It's a dolphin, or it's an-- - You can get an extra inch probably. - Or it's some shrubbery, what is that? - That's what-- okay, last one. I just-- one last one. - Yes. - Okay, I have to ask you this, and what do you make of the allegations that still follow you to this day concerning the boss baby's treatment of employees and the toxic work environment? - I can't comment on that. - The follow-up question is, can a voice actor be held responsible for a cartoon? [laughter] I'm really a fan of this. - I'm honest to say-- - I tell people, they go, "What's your favorite movie? What do you think it's the best movie I've ever did?" And the answer was Boss Baby. Boss Baby is the perfect movie. I love Boss Baby. It's great. I think it's great. - Really? - I think it's amazing. - What was the-- what was the company of the Boss Baby? - Tom McGrath was the director. I love Tom. - What were they doing, though, at the company, where he was the boss? - Oh, Baby Corps. - Baby Corps. - Wanting people to have babies. - Sounds sinister. - Wanting to have babies. You're not pets. - They were making people have sex with each other? - No, that just came with it. - That's what the Boss Baby's about. I got to watch that movie. - Yeah. - I think I missed it. What did-- did the Boss Baby have a button under his desk that would lock the door? - That's not-- - That's not ours. - Okay. [laughter and applause] - There you go. [music] Get out of here. [music] All right. I got it. [music] [music]