004: Alcohol has cost me $155,052 and that's a low estimate.

Welcome to the Recovery Elevator Podcast. My name is Paul and I'm excited to be here with you guys. On March 11th, 2015, I have 185 days of sobriety according to my Recovery Elevator Sobriety Tracker app on iTunes and the Android, which is just five days or four days past my sixth month sobriety mark, which happened on March 7th. That is right. I made it six months from the day September 7th. I decided I was done. I had had it. My elevator had reached its bottom. And I'm here six months later, actually six months and five days. When you're hearing this episode be released on Monday morning, it should be six months and 10 days before we get too far in this episode. I want to talk about the outline for today. We're going to talk about milestones, celebration. We're going to talk about a very important topic when it comes to quitting drinking accountability. And after that, I am going to only spend 15 minutes. I'm going to set my timer for 15 minutes. And write down how much I think alcohol has financially cost me. I'm going to put a dollar amount towards it. And again, I'm only going to spend 15 minutes because it's going to get very depressing if I spend any more time than that. But that's what I like to cover today. And let's talk about the first one, milestones or celebration. Recovery elevator, I want to be transparent. I'm not going to sit here behind this microphone and say something and then not do it. But I'm guilty. In a previous podcast episode, I had said, let me know your successes, track your sobriety, celebrate your milestones. Well, I hit six months on March 7th. March 6th, I was ecstatic. I was so excited for March 7th to arrive. I'd been waiting for that day for so long. On March 7th, I worked a very long and exhausting day. And when I got home, I sat on the couch. I pulled out my phone to text some people to maybe go out for some soda water with some ice cubes. A lot of lemon wedges and maybe dance, like I had said in the previous podcast. And then it happened. I got ashamed. There are still some people in this small Southwestern town of Montana that don't know that I can't handle my booze. And the people I was going to text are normal drinkers. And that's fine. I'm not making this podcast to change your opinion on alcohol or convince you to quit drinking. You are a normal drinker. I've had some amazing memories with alcohol, but I just sat there on the couch and I felt ashamed for my drinking problem, for my habit, for my alcoholism. And I'm over it. I'm not going to apologize that I'm an alcoholic, that I can't drink like a normal person, that my genetic makeup is different than other people. I am ashamed at times, but I'm not going to apologize of how I am. Being an alcoholic in Southwestern Montana does not define me. And if you've ever been to Montana, it is a beautiful and majestic place, but that's what they do here is drink. Wow. There's a lot of alcohol consumed in the state. But as I said, being an alcoholic does not define me. It's what I do with my alcoholism that will eventually define me. But the fact that I can't stop drinking when I start, that doesn't define me. It's what I do from this moment forward that will define me. Real quick, I want to be clear that I am not trying to create a new program or a set of steps to help you quit drinking. This has nothing to do or any affiliation with any organized AA or other 12-step programs. If you have made the decision to quit drinking, congratulations. But if your plan is to just not drink and, "Oh, I've got the Recovery Elevator podcast. I'll just listen to that once a week. I'll be good." Hate to break it to you. If you've made the decision to quit drinking, it's not enough. Quitting drinking and sobriety, you need to be doing more than enough, more than what you think is necessary to maintain your sobriety. There's simply too much on the line. It's not like you shut the book an hour early when you're studying for your ACT exam or SAT test to go to college. And had you have studied that extra five minutes, you would have gotten into MIT, but you didn't make it. So you got into Columbia. That was my savior. So you got into a safety school. I'm just kidding. Not even close. But you get the point. With sobriety, it's not like that. It's not like, "Well, you didn't quite maintain sobriety." No, you drank. It's black or white. You drank. There's way too much on the line here to do just the minimum to get by. And look, I've tried it, and I've learned the hard way. You've got to go well over what you think is necessary to stay sober. And if you think you're going to find the way to quit drinking and stay sober in this podcast, I hate to break it to you. I don't have the answers. I know what's worked for me, but you might be able to compile it by listening to the similarities and not the differences of what's worked with all the people on my podcast and find a way to make it work for you. I want to talk about accountability. I made a goal to make 52 episodes, one each week, that will come out Monday morning at 6:00 AM for one whole year for podcasts. I have 47 or 48 left to go. That's my accountability, right? I'm held accountable to that goal that I wrote down on my piece of paper and I announced it to the world. Look, if I start drinking again, which is not the plan, I do not plan to relapse, but if I do, I will still make a podcast. And this is how it's going to sound. Recovery Elevator, episode 42. Cue intro music. My name is Paul. I'm hungover and life sucks. Yeah, that's about it. I will still do the podcast because I'm holding myself accountable. And that is why I've also done this podcast to hold myself accountable for not drinking. Okay. As much as I'd like to say, my word is worth its weight in Oak or whatever. You can't hold yourself accountable when it comes to drinking because, because countless times I woke up in the morning and said, Oh my gosh, I am done drinking. I will not be drinking tonight. And then at seven or 8:00 PM, not only am I drinking, I'm faced and repeat process the next day. I've drawn many lines in the sand and said, I am not drinking till Friday or only beer tonight. But if it's just you, you can't be held accountable because you're fighting against an addiction. And I don't want to use the word fighting because you can't do that. You need to surrender to your addiction, but you get the point. Holding yourself accountable, it just doesn't work. So here's a start, right? Your goal down to quit drinking. And if you just write down goal, quit drinking. It's kind of like saying, I want to take a rocket ship to Mars this year. It's not going to happen. You need to set a date. You need to set a plan. You need to wait for it. Tell somebody you need to let somebody else in on this program that you have or your plan, what action you want to take so they can hold you accountable. Cause you're not going to be able to hold yourself accountable. Even the recovery elevator sobriety counter is accountability. You have to hit reset when you drink. And if you don't want to spend 99 cents on the app, don't do it. Your phone has a stopwatch. Just hit start and let the time tick forward. Try to be accountable, but most important, let somebody else in on it and you got to write it down. So Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at the Dominican university did a study of 267 participants. She found that the ones that wrote their goals down, you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals just by writing your goals down, put it down. This is the year I'm quitting drinking, put a date. And if you're saying, oh, it's not a good time. You know, I've got a big project coming up. I've got this. Look, there's never a good time to quit drinking. What if you do have a good time? That's three weeks from now, but tonight or before that you get a DUI or you sleep and miss work. So you get the point. If you're waiting for a good time to stop drinking, it's not going to come. The best time is right now. And as I mentioned earlier, I'm going to set the timer for 15 minutes and I'm just going to brainstorm and come up with a figure, an exact total dollar amount that drinking has cost me. See you in 15 minutes. I'm back and 15 minutes is up. And I compiled a staggering amount of expenses, which I kind of thought was going to happen. And I will tell you my total at the end, but let's take it from the top. I did $15 a day for 12 years. And I did that averaging about five drinks a day at $3 a piece. It could be more, it could be less. I think these are low ballpark figures. For example, when I was living at home for a couple of years after college, and then in between Spain, I would drink my parents scotch. And the next day I'd always replace it. And I'd go to the liquor store and be like, $85 for a bottle of Macallan 1939? come on, dad, why can't you just drink the cheap stuff? Yeah, but I always replaced it. So I had that at $65,700. And then I basically walked away from the bar that I owned in Granada, Spain, because I was killing myself. And probably, no, it was the right decision. I have that at $28,252, which was the amount of money invested. Now, college. This is an interesting one. I had chosen to go to Chapman University in Southern California, which had quite a high price tag. And I wasn't drunk the entire duration of college, but a lot of the classes I was hung over, and it affected a lot of it. So I just took one year or a quarter of what I thought, for my student loans, is $27,000. Basically just blacked out during college, didn't absorb any information, wasted time and money. Legal fees. Now, this could be a lot higher, but I have this at $7,600. And for example, I think in 2007, I got a DUI in Spain, where I did a breathalyzer, and they took the number. They didn't tell me what it was, but it was a scale. It was like, if you blow this, this is your fee. And I ended up paying like 400 euros or four something. So that is calculated into the $7,600. Medical, counselors, and therapists. These are all tough to accurately determine, but they are safe ballpark figures, I've gone to countless counselors and therapists to talk about my anxiety. I've sat in the chair and they'd say, how much do you drink? And I would say, not that much. And we glaze over the real problem, which was alcohol. A lot of times medical, I would just do stupid shit while drunk and end up in the hospital with a dislocated shoulder, et cetera. Let's talk about productivity. And I have that at $12,500. That's just days where you don't make it to work, or the next day, you are going to do something and you just get it done. So I have that at $12,500. Let's talk about repairs, cars, things like that. I've wrecked a couple of cars. It's only at $3,000, but one of them is a microwave that I threw through a door. Yeah, I was playing beer pong in my basement with my brother and his friends and we lost. I was shit-faced and I thought it would be funny to throw a functioning microwave through a door. And there's actually a photo of this take. And I think the microwave is in mid-air. And it was funny to me. Other people were laughing, but I can only imagine how that looked to a normal drinker. Drinking vacations, I have that at $3,200. Spring break, things like that. Opportunity cost. This is at unknown. And this could be very high, or you just don't know the answer to this. This is an opportunity cost where it's the day of work you miss where you could have got that promotion, or the person you're going to meet at the convention. That's the opportunity cost. You just don't know the answer. I booked a flight to Ecuador. That was $2,000. And I overslept my flight. That was a costly $2,000 mistake. In 2014, I had a missed flight to Denver. $200. Bottle service in Las Vegas at Jet Nightclub 2008. Woke up with the slight imagination or recalling that I had purchased an extra bottle. Yep, I bought two bottles at $1,100. Blacked out for 85%. But I kept the receipt. And while functioning, I managed to leave a correct 20% tip. No drum roll. This receives no merit or celebration. $155,052. That would cover the mortgage of my dinky condo that I'm in. That is a sobering figure, no pun intended. But here's the truth of it. No matter how staggering or alarming that figure is, it doesn't make a difference. If you're an alcoholic, maybe if you're a heavy drinker, you would say, wow, I think I'm going to quit drinking just for the financial reasons. But if you really are an alcoholic, it doesn't matter. This number won't make you quit. Same thing with alcoholics who were told, if you continue drinking, you will increase your risk of liver failure and probably be dead in the next couple of years. They'll say, oh, and they'll quit drinking for a week, 10 days. But in the end, they can't quit drinking. That's my alarming $155,052. I know it's not an actual figure, but just an estimation. Hand to the forehead happening right now. And Recovery Elevator Nation, I am excited to invite Nikki to the podcast. Nikki, how are you today? I'm great, Paul. How are you? I'm doing good. Thanks. I'm very glad we got to do this. Now, let's just get right into this. Nikki, how long have you been sober? I have been sober for one year. And almost one month. So almost 13 months. 13 months. 17. Congratulations. That's incredible. Now, let's reference the podcast title, Recovery Elevator. When did you realize your elevator had reached its bottom and it was time to quit drinking? Was this a moment of clarity after something bad had happened? Or were you just done riding that elevator down? It takes a lot of looking back throughout this year to see when that process started. And I think it's a good example of when that process even started. But I would say when I tried to cut back, this was maybe three, four years ago, I tried to cut back on drinking and the fact that I couldn't. And I kept trying and I've never been around alcoholics. I didn't even know, you know, really what this entailed. And I went to my husband and I just, you know, I started crying. And I said, I think I'm an alcoholic. And we've been doing this for a long time. And I kind of looked at each other like, well, what does that mean? What do we do now? You know, I'm like, I don't know. I've tried, you know, cutting back and I get sick. And, you know, I didn't know what the DTs or any of that was. So I knew if I had a drink, when I started feeling nauseous, then I got better. Well, I realized something was wrong with that. So I started going to some AA meetings because, you know, that's what alcoholics do. And it just didn't stick. And then, I got really sick and almost died because of my liver and drinking. And I like to think it was the doctor's fault for their care that they didn't provide. But anyway, no, it was me. When I woke up in a hospital room surrounded by my family and the looks on their face, and I was clueless. I don't know why I was there. I didn't know. I'd been out of it for a week. I knew how vulnerable your body is. At that point. So I decided, you know, I mean, not even just the alcohol, what it did to me, but just your body itself. Like I couldn't walk for days. I couldn't talk. I mean, it was devastating. So of course, I didn't want to drink. And that shocked me, but obviously not enough. You know, we're alcoholics. And I thought I could still get by just having a drink here and there. And that was not the case. I think that caused a bit of depression. And just that's when I really hit bottom. And I shut myself in my house and, you know, didn't let anybody in. I became the stereotypical alcoholic, you know, a recluse. Never. My friends would call me out. Yeah, I'm coming. I'm coming. Never show up. You know, all every everything that you hear an alcoholic is. And finally, I was tired of it. I was I just couldn't do this to myself anymore. I could not do this to my husband. He was by my side. He tried helping me every step of the way. Of course, he didn't know. He didn't understand. And he knows me and he knows it's anything I want in life. I work my ass off to get it. And he just for some reason couldn't understand why I couldn't just kick this habit. You know, and I would look at him. I'm like, I don't know. You know, there's this bottle of liquid right here that is just it takes me. You know, I it just, it's, it's, oh, it just makes me sick to think of. I tried on my own, kind of kept it secret, didn't really tell people that that's what I was trying to do. And then I went to a sober living for a couple of months where I was really introduced to kind of the lay of the land and how AA works. And, you know, that everybody in here has gone through, you know, just horrible circumstances. And, um, we're all in this together and the stories were all the same. Oh, I've done that. Oh my God, I've done that. You know, again, I came out of that for a couple of months and did well. And that whole year was just up and down trying and failing and trying and failing. And at this point, I think a lot of it was me doing it for others. You know, my parents certainly didn't want to see me in that hotel or in that hotel hospital bed again. My husband, you know, none of my friends. And I woke up one morning, I looked, at Pete and I said, I'm going, I've found the place and I'm going to go away till I'm better. And, um, I said, tomorrow, I'm going to wake up sober. And I don't know if it's the right place. I don't know if it's going to do it. But tomorrow I want to be sober. And I can finally make some rash, just coming from logical decisions as to how I'm going to attain this. You know, you can't, you can't do that when you're drunk. But I think that was my, my bottom's not as low as anyone else's. I saw But going in that direction. And, you know, I made every effort I could to stop before, you know, the greatest man in my life left me, you know, and my family turned against me. So it was it was just about a year ago that that was my bottom. Now, Nikki, you hinted earlier how you tried to moderate your drinking and that's what made you realize you might be an alcoholic or have a drinking problem. Can you can you expand upon the methods you use, for example, don't drink before 5 p.m., switching from tequila or hard liquor to wine? Tell us about that. Yeah, that's that's funny you mention it. And I don't mean to make it humorous, but, you know, I wasn't a woman sober living and I have so many stories of all of us sitting around sharing, you know, like what we did and all this stuff. And I would say, you know, I think all of us ended up with. Vodka, for whatever reason, we thought you couldn't smell it on our breath. I mean, how dumb is that? But no, I was a big wine drinker, never really beer. So, you know, what's a glass or two of wine each night you get home from work? Well, that wasn't the problem, you know, years ago. But when it became two bottles every night, you know, it's a little questionable. Then I went I started doing liquor and it was just I just wanted. And then I would, you know, moderate it with, you know, vodka became the past few years. That was my that was my drink. I think a lot of it because it was clear you could hide it easier. You know, yeah, we didn't think you could smell it. So, yeah, I did that. And then also, yes, the like in the morning or during the day when I wasn't working, that was the hardest. So I did. I would get up and, you know, like try to do some housework or whatever, keep myself busy till about noon. And I can have a glass of wine with my lunch. I thought, well, nothing wrong with that. You know, that's what I do even when I'm working. Everybody in my industry, we, you know, drink at lunch. We don't get hammered, but well, some don't. And and then it became that one glass of wine, you know, stretched out throughout the day. And, you know, it was. The big bottle and then, you know, maybe two big bottles. And soon enough, I wasn't. Well, I couldn't stop. I guess, like I said, once I took a drink, I didn't take a drink. The drink took me. Yeah, I knew it was over with when I, you know, and I'd sit there and debate it like, come on, Nick, you know, just stop there. Why would I, you know, just keep going. And nothing worked. I mean, there is that. It was just awful. It was an awful feeling to have to know that that that was taking hold of your life and controlling you. It was just miserable. But, yeah, I tried all the all those little tactics. They didn't work. It's kind of the taper. I can't go to. That's what they say. You know, if you're questioning whether or not you're an alcoholic, go sit at a bar. See if you can have just one drink or see if you can just sit there. I mean, it's hard for anyone that's not an alcoholic, you know. Mm hmm. And I've heard the taper off technique where this week you'll have five drinks next week. Next week you'll have four, then three, then two. But if you're an alcoholic, it slowly becomes the taper on technique. Now, Nikki, tell me what it was like when you first quit drinking. What were the first 24, 72 hours, week, month and year of your sobriety like? For example, when I first quit drinking in my first 72 hours, sleep, forget about it. There was no way I could catch any sleep in the first 72 hours. It just wasn't happening because my brain chemistry was completely out of whack. I'd never been to sleep with not out with no alcohol in my system. Yeah. Tell tell listeners what that was like for you. Oh, that's so funny you say that. It's amazing how many I mean, the alcohol just wrecks you the first 72 hours. OK, again, I go back to not really understanding the whole alcoholism. And I remember I also tried like an outpatient program at my through my health care provider. And he he asked me, you know, what do you need? I can't even remember what kind of medication it was. And I said, what what is it? I mean, is it going to make me stop drinking? And he's like, no, it'll prevent you from having seizures. And I was baffled. I thought, what? What do you mean seizures, you know, and the DTs and all this? And so I was like, no, I think I'm fine. Oh, my God. So I get into the meeting. Of course, I have. I haven't had a drink. The meeting starts at about one. I immediately took off running and was puking in the toilet. You know, just nothing that I needed. I needed a drink. And so I ended up leaving the meeting. But almost every time my first 72 hours, you have the same thing. Just I finally did take that medicine once. So I was able to sleep and it did prevent me from having seizures because at one point I tried to detox myself and I did have a seizure. Not fun. But yeah, lots of. You know, throwing up. I take it. You're so dehydrated. And I just, you know, wanted to gulp water and I couldn't even have a sip. And it was it wouldn't stay down. I mean, my body just hated me. And yeah, I couldn't sleep. You're right. Yeah, I think I did drink a lot so I could sleep. Again, I was kind of depressed. So during the day, I'm like, oh, I'll just drink enough and then I can sleep. You know, pass out and not have to worry about that. The more days you get, you know, you're hot, you're sweaty, irritable. You're just, you know, you're coming out of that fog, that hay. And it's rough. But if you can make it through that, you know, I thought, well, this part's hard, you know, but you feel it. You understand what it does to your body when you're going through that. And it's a wake up call. It was a wake up call for me. You know, I used to work out and protect my body and everything. And I just like gave it the middle finger by drinking and doing this. It's weird. Just little things throughout my recovery have come back into play. You know, like your skin starts looking better. Your hair starts growing. Your confidence. Just mentally and physically, it's amazing. Nikki, tell me about the obsession or craving to drink. Did that ever disappear or do you still experience that to the day? It's really weird. You know, I've tried this a few times. And this time it was just different. I was like, you know, I'm doing this. This is stupid. I want this. And you have to be a little selfish and just take it for you, you know. And I didn't have cravings. My hardest thing that I took very slowly throughout the year was I'm very social. And before I became like a hardcore alcoholic and locked myself in my house, you know, I was always out, you know, happy hours, you know, dinner parties, you know, doing all that. Alcohol is everywhere. It's just everywhere. It's nothing. I mean, it's. It's just incredible. You know, brunches with my girlfriend. You drink limoses. So for me, those type of things I couldn't jump right back into just because I didn't want to be tempted. Not so much the temptation. It was more like it goes hand in hand. You know, when you go camping, what do you do? You know, you drink. When you go out on a boat, what do you do? You drink. You know, when you're golfing, what do you do? You drink. So that was the hardest part for me. There was the craving. It really went away. I mean, I don't know why. I can't explain it. I'm very thankful for that. But I think it's just my mental state was, you know, you don't want this. Now, if I were to have a drink, I would be right back where I started. You know, I. Now, there would be. That's where I would get the craving. But just like sensing the craving. No. At first, I just stayed away from Sprite, which the girls make fun of me. They're like, what? You mixed it. Like, yeah. So, you know, I stayed away from Sprite. I always drank it out of a certain cup. Those Churvis cups that are insulated. I got rid of that. Tried throwing it into the ocean, but they float. So that didn't work. But no, it's really weird. The craving for me to stop. The minute I said, you know, I don't want this anymore. I honestly, it would disgust me to think about it. You know, I. I don't know why that is. I don't know if everybody feels that same way or what. But no, it was more, like I said, just going to different situations throughout life. And I would make myself go, you know, like to somebody's party, somebody's birthday party where, you know, maybe drinking. And I would just say, you know, to my husband, can we, you know, I have to do this. I have to continue my life. You know, I'm still social. I just don't have to be drunk. So let's go. And I'm going to say. I'm going to say, let's give it two hours and I'm going to try real hard to make it through the two hours. And, you know, I would, I would tell myself this and, and, and I would also tell him, you know, I'm going to tell you anytime I feel like having a drink. Okay. I'm just going to walk up and say, I really want to drink. Not meaning I'm going to go get a drink. Not meaning you have to watch my every move because I might sneak one. Just I'm having that feeling right now. And I have to, in my head, get it out of, get it out of my head. But, and that's what I do. Replay the tape. But I realized, you know, after. after two hours in the whole, like, walking into a party. You know, they're all your friends. I didn't need to be drunk, and it's funny watching them get drunk. But, you know, I could stay there two hours, turn into four hours, and I was having a way better time than if I'd been drunk, you know, and I remembered the whole thing. So that was my hardest thing, craving-wise, just being social again. Nikki, some of my best moments in sobriety have been watching your husband, who is a normal drinker, get drunk on our yearly fantasy football drafts in Las Vegas. Now, Nikki, tell me, is there a resource that you continue to use or a resource that you used in early sobriety that really helped you out? What I've learned in all the meetings. Now, I do go to AA, and I don't go as often as I used to, but I took all the tools, you know, and almost everything that they said is true. This is like, you know, the obsession will be lifted, but that's true. All the bad, you know, that came from drinking, that is true. I had those same stories. So now I listen to, you know, when I got my year, I was like, okay, now what? And then I thought, well, now what? This is now a way of life, and that's how I'm looking at it. And, of course, the thought crossed my mind, like, does this honestly mean that I can maybe one day go have a drink, or a glass of wine at a nice restaurant? No, I can't. You know, why would I even tempt myself? And, you know, everything I've learned in AA is we are alcoholics, and you cannot do that. And I've known a couple of people who thought the same on their year, and they went out, and they stayed out. Granted, they're drinking Bud Light instead of, you know. I was like, well, that still counts, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I think AA, it's really, it has really helped me. And it's also helped me. I think my biggest tool is helping others. That's where I get the most benefit. You know, it helps me stay sober. My family, the look on my husband's face, you know, every day I wake up and I'm sober and I'm laughing. And just the way I feel, it's all emotional, too. You know, like my emotions are getting straightened out. You know, I can think more clearly. I can make decisions. I can, you know, so it's the feeling as well as the people you surround yourself with and the understanding, care, and then keeping in there and keeping, you know, you see a newcomer in a meeting and just think back to when you were in that chair, you know. It's scary. When I was in sober living, a new girl would come in and just scared to death, you know. And you've got to be there for them. And I. AA and just helping others is my biggest thing. Nikki, you said it perfect. The key to staying sober is helping others. And that is the point of this podcast because, Nikki, I was terrible at quitting drinking and staying sober. I tried to get 30 days for like two years. I just couldn't surmise 30 days of sobriety. And that's kind of the focal point of this podcast. A, to help people, and B, for selfish reasons, it's going to be difficult for me to pull this podcast off. It's going to be difficult for me to pull this podcast off if I'm drinking. I will not be drinking if I'm doing this podcast. And I'm going to be transparent with you listeners. If I do slip up, which I can only take it one day at a time, I know I won't today, I will let you know. Now, Nikki, thank you so much for joining us. I am so glad that you shared your story with us. And you did just what you said. Hopefully, and I'm positive, your experience and stories have helped many listeners. Thank you so much, Nikki. Aw, thank you, Paul. And I'm proud of you, buddy. Thank you. Email me at info at recoveryelevator.com and I'll get some of the silly, stupid things you've done to let people know, hey, I'm not the only one doing these things. You might be an alcoholic if you go to a liquor store and when the clerk says, hey, can I help you? You fabricate an entire story of this elaborate dinner party you're having and you want a wine that goes with the sea bass that you're making. And then after the recommendation, you say, great, thank you. And then you purchase the $7 bottle of plastic skull vodka. I'm guilty of that one. You might be an alcoholic if your job is interfering with your drinking. You might be an alcoholic if you've ever been on an episode of Cops. You might be an alcoholic if the alcohol stopped working. Think about that one for a second. And the simplest, most easy way to diagnose this whole thing, you might be an alcoholic if you've ever simply wondered, do I have a problem? Do I have a problem? Do I have a problem? Do I have a drinking problem? I want to conclude today by saying thank you. You, by simply listening, are helping me stay sober. You have no idea how much this helps me stay sober. And again, it's accountability. Another way you can help is subscribe, rate, interview. Subscribe in Stitcher. Subscribe in iTunes. And if you know somebody or suspect your friend might have a drinking problem, just send them a link. That's all you got to do. Recovery Elevator, whether you think you can or you can't, you're right, you can do this.