Alaska w/ Katherine Blanford | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

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It's not stained. Yeah. It's dope. And then, like, every room is different, because we've been in different ones, different shapes. You know? And then the, like, like, little-- And sometimes there's photographs, and you'll see, like, dolly sitting next to, like, Leonard Cohen. Really? Yeah. And, like-- Wow. And you could see where they are. Like, you could be like, oh, that is this-- That's right there. Yeah. Wow. Crazy stuff. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I guess, yeah, the guys like that would come visit the artist here. Uh-huh. I think Leonard Cohen lived there a little bit. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. All these guys lived there. Yeah. I guess I've lived in-- I've stayed in too many commercial hotels, but just, like, these little, like-- Boutique. Like, I don't know why I'm so obsessed with bullet hole curtains. Do you know what that is? No. Oh, fuck. Okay. So it's the sheer curtain, right? There's the bit-- You're on it, Jorge. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. There's the major curtain. And then the sheer curtain behind it, it's, like, somebody said, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And shot it. So there's different holes everywhere. Like-- And then the sun comes through. Yeah. You're like, I'm not-- I'm in Tuscany. I'm on a deep-ray love. Where you been and where you going. This is our race travel show. Yeah. We're going to talk about travel today. It's you being driven, yeah. It doesn't even really describe it there. No. It doesn't do anything. Oh, I see it. Yeah, I see what I mean. It's like that. Yes. That's the room. Oh, that is gross. It's all twinkly. And you didn't know this fucking meth head's right outside. Oh, it's even shining in the table. Wait, this is the same room. I think that's the room we were in. That is. Quite creepy, actually. Whoa. It's got the chairs. Yeah. Where's the fucking fruit? You didn't get the fruit. It's in there. Do you think you give you free bottle of wine every night? Every night. Every night, they give you free bottle of wine. They give you, like, all the-- I was just obsessed. Who's the chick who sang Mercedes-Benz? James Joplin. James Joplin. I imagine her fucking Jimmy Hendrix in that hotel. I imagine them fighting. Fighting and fucking. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine, like, yeah, fighting in between fucking. Yeah. She must have had the smelliest pussy in all of music. Yeah. And then-- And then dealt it around, too. Nice. I like that guy. Yeah. You wanted a little-- Yeah, you wanted. You're like, all right. No. I mean, that must have been fucking stinky, though. But she still worked it. I know she-- 27th? She was part of the 27th club? Really? Wow. She seems so much older. Yeah, I think she is. Yeah, for sure. Isn't that so crazy? Yeah. 27 and they did all that. How's your past or before? What? We passed that. Hell yeah. You're fucked up. She'll never be a legend. That's fine. How's it feel? How's it feel knowing you'll never be loved like that? I'll go-- I'll be-- I'll enjoy my lame life. All right. Catherine, where are we going today? We're going to-- We're going to Alaska. A nice-- What a strange place. What, what? What a wild, strange place. Yeah, it's also-- So I didn't realize this. My brother lives in Juneau, which is South East. Yeah. It's a rainforest. Really? It's actually, like, classified as a rainforest. It's cold, but it's like the-- It's interesting. However, the-- There's a water dump on it right on the-- Yeah, I guess. Over the mountains. I guess-- yeah, I don't know how-- Washington State has that, too. Yeah. But not as bad as that. It's cold as that. It's cold as that. It's right above it. Yeah. And so I've been-- so he lives there. He's-- you know, friends with a bunch of-- I told you before the podcast started. People that don't really-- They don't hold life very preciously. That's a whole lot of health laws and weirdos. Yeah, like, he's got a friend who-- I think he's an engineer. Yeah. But he just-- There's a bunch of old abandoned minds around there. And so he's figured out his own pulley system. So he will pulley himself down into the minds. Find crazy, crazy shit. What? Artifacts where it looks like workers-- Yeah. His apartment is-- I mean, it's a lot of like old dynamite sticks. And-- What? Yeah. Like-- It's a lot of like signs, helmets, you know, not the craziest of shit. But really, it's just about him going down there. He'll pull himself back up. Yeah, weirdo. But in any minute, he's not going to make it back up. At one point, they went on like ice. You know, they went into like-- I don't even know how you say all this shit. They went into caves. They had to, you know, climb an ice and shit. And they-- It was going to be a six-hour excursion. They brought like a few cliff bars. And they came back three days later. No way. They were lost. What? Yeah. It's very-- So I have to keep that in mind when I go out with him, because he's like, I got this cool thing planned. And then I go, he's not a trained tour guide. He's just a forever 17-year-old boy. What a cool guy. That's always it seemed like that's what Alaska is. It's the people there either escaping the wall, or they fuck somebody, they shuttin' a fuck, and they're running from another man. It was like the rate of percentage of men to women was like super high men, super low women. Yeah, because it's miserable sometimes. Yeah. And it's dark. And it's dark and there's like hardcore work to be had. Yeah. Also-- And women don't run away as much. No. My now sister-in-law-- Yeah. Her friend worked at a hospital that was close to a-- What do I think-- what are the land from Native Americans? Rose? Yeah. Yeah, they're coming in there. I got there. They're coming in there colorful. Yeah. The summer myths. Yeah, yeah. They look like their faces have been face-mounted. So would you get 20 grand or whatever it is from the government? And then a place to live while it's cold when it's warm. You're like, I'm just going to smoke crack by the river. Yeah. And drink. Yeah. And don't piss me off. No, they get rowdy. Yeah. So it's like-- [LAUGHTER] Yeah. Also the food sucks. You don't go there if you love food because you can't. Like, especially, Juno is a-- You cannot get to a bike road, only boat or plane. Oh, really? Juno on the thing. Yeah. Relicers block off all the roads. But you also can't have fresh produce because how would you grow it? So it's all flown. And so that's why you get all these people that are foragers. You know, that stuff would go-- Yeah. --to try and pretend like they're excited to eat mushrooms that they found in dirt. No, Juno. There you go. Wait, it's really landlocked like that? Mm-hmm. Where is it? Oh, there. Wow. Oh, damn. It's all-- And that's further south? Yeah, it's the most south, southeast. Okay. Oh, yeah, the little tip thing there. Yeah. I think we're just so far north from that. I know. And there's just straight up like-- Half the country. No man's land. Well, those-- Oh, gone. Go down and left. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, my left. That's called-- On Alaska is out there. Wait, lower out, out, out. Okay, now, now, okay. All those islands. What are those called? That's not on Alaska. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, that's-- That's on Alaska. That's not Alaska? It's called on Alaska. What do you mean? You're in Alaska. Right? You zoom in. Is it on Alaska? What? Illusions. The illusions. What do you mean? What's on Alaska? What does that mean? On Alaska is-- I thought it's out there. Those are like the islands out there's what they're called. Yeah, they're closer to like Russia than they are to like mainland Alaska. Yeah, on Alaska is-- On Alaska? In Alaska. It's a city? Yeah, let me see. That's all right. What do you know of it? I don't know. We're going out there. We're going out there to camp-- Really? Yeah, with Brooks for his 40th birthday. Wow. And a little tut. Okay, the place that I'm going to tell you. Okay. It's called Admiralty Island. Admiralty Island. Admiralty. All right. So you would have to you to fly your boat there off of Juno. It's another one of these. I mean, it's an island. But again, there's no-- roads that lead like Admiral at yeah and um okay so bears are protected there the Grizzly Bears are protected this is one of these bears have you ever did you watch the documentary about that man yeah yeah yeah so this is this is these kind of people right here so uh you get there it's uh protected land protected by the government you can't have the island Grizzly Bears protected so when you land there's these scouts right that live on the island for 10 days at a time there's no cell phone service when you get there there's no plumbing there's no electricity it's completely you know uh what bears Grizzlies brown bears and so it's funny because they live they have to set up their tents not on the island they have to canoe over from the next island the bears the the scouts so my brother knew a girl that was one of the scouts but she's crazy I mean she's now she's putting P.P. in her eyes and you know she's she's white with dreads like she's she's a wacko but you got to be to because think about it a boat drops you off on this island you you you you're in a tent for 10 days no cell phone no books at a time she's telling me she's like I woke up in my my my sleeping bag was completely soaked it rained through my bag she's just out there like that for 10 days there is no no one's coming to rescue you it's your job to be out there that you just live like what why so so the scouts okay so so every day they they canoe over to Admiralty Island yeah you say it and the island the only allow 10 tourists there a day no fucking way and when you get there as soon as you get there uh you're greeted by scouts they immediately whatever your bags that you have with you you put them in a bear box yeah and the whole point is that you get they take your parts of parts of the island and you just sit there and these bears are used to these wild grizzly bears are used to human beings being in these parts of the island so they don't really mess with you but you get to live amongst grizzlies without barriers fences what anything it's not and they don't attack no because they've grown up on the island they and they've been doing this for so long they're used to bear you know humans being but you kind of sign up for what they don't wait what were they just know like actress have no meat on them so there's no point I think probably I mean I think that they're just I so cool so the scouts are there to be like because okay so I'll show you in these pictures like at one point a mother bear came up and had two cubs and the cubs were really curious so they were kind of coming up to us and she was like at some point like kind of made noises and shoot them away because they were like they don't want them to actually come into contact with the humans because then if you know see these bears are that close to us those are cubs wow aren't the cubs as scary because then the mom gets like what the fuck yeah yeah so that was the craziest thing that was the fun thing so so we're just sitting on a log right here by the way and but okay is there another picture of us like I think my brother standing out there and there's like four grizzly bears what pretty close in the distance to him what's your brother to how why'd your brother get there wow do you see how close those bears are right there I mean you know and it's a it's a cell phone picture but they're just there's five of them one two three four five so you that's your brother is my brother got along here is he a hippie yeah yeah I mean he's a little asking there's any kids okay wow but yes so they don't fuck with you they're just used I mean most of those bears were cubs coming around to this cove and having humans be there but that that was the best part the scouts you know they're they're all summer long so they like get to know the bears and they name them and they'll be like okay so this mom that's coming up she's one of the oldest females on the island she's like don't get attached to her cubs they usually die she's sick of having children what you know she's like still getting like rammed rammed by a male every year but she's you know probably like equivalent to a 60-year-old woman and doesn't really care about her cubs anymore she's like they just like the women in Alaska kept on a lot of math like getting knocked up yeah you're on your own at four I was I did it when I was your age yeah yeah yeah co-catch your own fish but it was like they told us some crazy stories oh hey guys it's always your fear break into today's episode to let you know a little bit about the guest Catherine Blanford she's a hilarious stand-up comic she's got a special right now on YouTube called Catholic Catholic cowgirl it's on 800 pound gorilla she also got her own Instagram and YouTube account she puts up hilarious clips all the time following both at its Catherine Blanford Catherine with a K she also got a podcast with Shane Torres who I got to get on this podcast called coastal idiots please subscribe and listen to that she just won the road get all her tour dates at Catherine Blanford comm Kansas City San Antonio Houston Dania Beach Indianapolis and Charlotte that's it please subscribe wherever you're watching to listen Spotify YouTube this is more of a YouTube podcast but I think Spotify now has videos well so it's kind of a cool way to follow as well I myself have nothing else to do I have a special on YouTube called Jew and see it at R.E. 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Shafir dot com please get one right now support really great stand-up that's it let's get back to Alaska and Catherine Blanford you okay so this the once the one lady that was kind of not loving us being there because our plan was to we we packed a lot of bags because we were because my brother the other scout was his friend she was his young girl right so she was like you guys should canoe over to the other side of the island and camp out that night so we had like tons of food we had sleeping bags we had tents in our bags and this old or lady scout was not having it she was mad at she's well it's not allowed this is a woman that was so obsessed with bears she would I believe would have sex with one if she I mean she she would sack she would give her her hand to a bear if that's got a you know you know these kind of people hey can you show you like a bear dick like like with something neck near so I can see how big it is how big are they have you seen them can you see them I know did they go into the folds of the fur it's got to be it's got to be like one of those things you can't really this is gonna be really gross but I've always been like if you have stuff on your vagina you always just want to have a a bush because you it really hides the what stuff you know if you have a no that's a human dick it's a little that's a little pistol that's that's not girthy so that's like a that's like a lipstick thing like a dog that's coming out yeah that that seems like it wouldn't make it all the way into a female yeah our bears the Asians of the animal world maybe they have to mate yeah what a tiny dick on that fucking giant beast well you know they really only eat berries and you're right fish so they're kind of the kind of homos yeah and that's the females with China are they poking that out yeah they're opening up like a strip club yeah they're like it's like one of those fidgets things they're popping it out you always like okay is that okay what's the one showing it that that is that the dick so it's gonna come out of that oh that makes me start and then it pops out from there it's like an alien that another aliens head pops out like how cute it still is it's still pretty cute it's actually it's hold pp right there's pretty cute yeah it's tail that's it's tail oh I was like that's really cute yeah I might just tell that it was a cute dick it would it'd be smoother coming out than going in it's gonna get then the fur the fur yeah you've ever seen an elephant stick no no you've never seen an elephant stick I have actually those are massive - I would, I need for 10 years. - Elephants, they please do. - Yep, wow, not that. - I mean, they're on the ground. - Yeah, it's funny because elephants are a lot around where Asians are. But I guess Africa too, right? The elephants in Africa? - Yeah. - Okay, so that makes sense. - What if the Asian elephants are significantly smaller? - Yeah. - But if you think about it, I mean that, that makes sense for the passage. - Yeah, 'cause how are you gonna get in there? - Right. - Wow, look at that guy's grabbing it on the top left. - It does look like a small fifth leg. - What, no fucking way. - That's gotta be an Asian one. It's much smaller. - What's he doing to it? - Maybe. - Wild to go under there. - Well, it's all, it's saddled up. - Yeah. - Yeah, I always, do you ever wonder that? You're like, how does a tortoise mate? - I've seen him. A tortoise? - Yeah, it's just, oh, like a big one. - Because you're like, there's a shell. There's a hole. - Yeah, they get up. - The one tortoise, so the female tortoise's head is here or tail's there. And then he gets up like this. It kind of goes higher and goes, you ever seen that? Turtle's fucking? - I've seen turtles making that noise. - Yeah, they're fucking. That's them blowing loads. Yeah, that. - I've seen one doing it to like a lawnmower before. - Yeah, they gotta really get in. - There's a got, whoa, is that it? The orange thing? - Is it? - Did they color it? It's so what I think that they just don't, they just are like, I do this because I have an urge, but I don't. Like, do you think a girl even, the girls don't like it? - I wonder if they even get anything out of it sexually. - I've heard it's just us in dolphins, right? That they do it for fun. Bluey used to have a joke about it how, if like the animals saw humans, and then like one was fucking and then pulled out, they'd be like, wah, you're right there. What are you doing? You had a breeding. - Right, right. - You blew it. - No, no, no, no, we'll do it next weekend. We need to go to another bar and find another man. - But you'll do it again with you tomorrow. Why don't you call her back? At least tell you how to good time. We'll do it again next week. - They're like, my brother. - Giant turtles mating very loudly. Play it. - I love that they're quiet besides this. - Yeah, that's the only type. - Ooh. - Is that it? - Ooh. - That's that noise. - Ooh. - Look at its little feet. - Oh, the legs go up. - That's like a real guy. - It looks like an elephant. - Ooh. - Wait. Is that a ball? - Ooh. - It's his head. - It's his head. - Look how much smaller she is. - She's making out with her. - Yeah, what a gentlemanly thing to do for an animal to do. - Yeah. - Doggy style, but still making out with her. - They're still kissing. Oh, they're like licking, I don't like. - Wait. Oh, no, that's their heads. - That's their heads. It looks like a dick. - Ooh. - Oh, he's running out. He's interested. - He's making a long time. - Look at his legs go up. His legs go up so funny. He's really letting it go. - That's so cute. - Okay, all right, all right. - He's so much bigger than her and she was just, she had her little head inside her brown shell, waiting for it to be over. - She was not enjoying it. She was like, listen, I gotta be a woman before college. Let's just get this out of the way. - Also, this, like, what is it? Can you tell if Turtle is pregnant? - Oh yeah. No, they lay eggs. - Do they lay eggs? - Yeah. - That makes sense. - I think that's true. - And then they don't care about their mom at all. I hope I come back as like a female egg layer and I don't have to worry about raising any children. - Yeah, they just have to get to water. Yeah, I write no grief, just like be gone. I don't know. Most of them will get to the water if tourists don't step on them. - Yeah, and also, there's so many of us anyways, it's probably best if not all of you make it. There's not a lot of food in this cove. - Yeah. - I have a bit, I used to do a bit about fishing in Juneau and I caught a salmon, and when I caught it, it like came all of my leg, all down it. And like, there's a picture of me like holding it and it's like, and it, there's just like, yeah, you know, whites, Pollocked, all over my leg. And my brother was like, this is actually really sad. I was like, what do you mean? Well, they, you know, they swim back upstream, right? They almost die if they make it all the way back. Same and only, they only come one time. - That's it? - Yeah, they come one time. And then after it's called turning. After they come. - Come blimpies, what are they called? - Spotted. - No, sorry, go ahead. - Well, they go from silver to like, I think silver is the last color, but it's, 'cause they've stopped eating. And they just wait till they decay and die. - Damn. - My brother was like, dude, he made it all the way back and then he wasted it on you. (laughing) - You're like, I didn't even fuck it. - I know, he got scared. - I didn't even fuck it. - I scared it out of him. Okay, okay, but Admiral D. Island. - Okay. - Okay, so my favorite, and they, so they take you to-- - What are the stars like there? - That's the best part is you're literally, does there a part where we're walking through the rainforest? I mean, there's, they take you, so there's like a whole open meadow. And then at some point, you kind of go through truly like this, it's like, look, that's on the coast. There's nobody else around. See that rainbow? - Yeah, I see the rainbow. (laughing) I obviously see the rainbow. It's hidden the water. - Yeah, I think it all went all the way around too. But yeah, it's just the most beautiful scenery. - This is where the rainbow ends. It's hitting the water. It's not going back behind the horizon. It's in front of the land. - You kind of see a little bit of its reflection in the water. We saw the other end too. - Oh, you know what it's in front of the, it's crazy. I've seen this once before in my life. - It just like, anything is possible there 'cause there's no, there's no other light pollution. There's nothing, there's nothing else in the air. There's no cell phone towers. - Wow. - How many people a day get to go? - Ten. - Ten people. - When it's open too. And it's only a really open two month out of the year. - Yeah. - So like, then they take you to a little, that's actually the scariest part is when you're moving between the different designated spots to sit because you're kind of vulnerable then. And you're walking through like a trail and the rainforest and you're watching, you're seeing bear droppings and you're like, okay, let's pick it up. And they take you like a tree house and you sit up there and then just these bears start coming out along this river eating and stuff. And like the old lady scout, the one that was really intense told us, like one time there was this bear that she's just known forever. She recognizes her, she's known her since she was a cub. And she had two baby cubs and she was like, I was really freaked out. I was on the island by myself. And she was coming really close towards me and I was like trying to make noise but she was not afraid of me. And then I looked above her and there was a male bear coming after her and I realized what was going on. She had two cubs and a male will kill the cubs. So she stops nursing and wants to fuck again. So she goes, I realized what she was doing. She ran behind me with her cubs and sat there and then the male eventually like gave up and walked away 'cause he was afraid of the human. So she was using the human as a shield. Yeah, it's like she would, I mean this lady is, I think that's, yeah, see that sailboat right there? - She was humossing you? - Yeah. - She was, she was hoping the male it's really wouldn't attack. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Humossing you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She goes, stay right here, stay right here, it's fine. (laughing) Just don't second guess anything. She lived on that sailboat with her husband. - Wow, what a life. - So yeah, like crazy lunatic. - Yeah, I mean, you think she literally, I mean, she obviously was very intensive about stuff and like was a cuckoo, but then you're like, I mean, she's living as basic as a human being can live now. She doesn't, there's no, she doesn't have a cell phone. You know, she doesn't have like plumbing or electricity. She's literally living off of salmon and mushrooms. But we took a kayak. - Did you catch your salmon every day to eat it? - Well, she can't, she gets mad if you, I mean, this lady was real intense about the bears. Again, I think she would have. - This is the scout lady. - The older scout lady. - To mix Karen with wildness of Alaska is like a, it's like a nutty. - It's a. - It's very specific. - It's the Bowser level of Karen. - Yeah. - 'Cause I think she's like, you catch, if you catch fish, you have to catch it, this amount of distance away from the island. - Oh, so it's like the bear? - You'd be taking the bear's food. - Hey guys, if you're ever walking up and immediately needed a nicotine pouch and/or a cup of coffee, just to feel like human, how many pouches comes to coffee or energy drinks? Do you need perjaded to stop yourself from crashing? Or do you even feel like nicotine withdrawal? This thing is causing anxiety, make you feel on edge, like this ad rate. Would you catch your heart racing out of nowhere? Is your sleep score worse? So you're worried about vasoconstriction? - Isn't it funny? Can I do everything I'm empowered to do? go to the gym. 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Yeah, they've helped ease some of my worries, expertise, helpful tools and easy to just platform. God, I wish they were something like that when I was starting a stand-up. Just to help me build everything. Starting something new isn't hard. It's terrifying. So much work goes in there and you're not shy as a show will work out and a lot of my friends didn't work out and they were much funnier than me. I'm like mid-level funny. Shopify helped me beat really funny guys. I should list them. Should I list all the people that are funnier than me? They're a less successful than me. Let's do it. Brandon Sagalo, Sean Patton, Mike Vecchione. That's it. Adrian Apollucci. Who else is less successful than me? Ryan O'Neill, but much funnier. Steve Renizese, but he was on TV though. Big J Elk is saying, much funnier than me. Duck and Trossel, so creative. He might be more successful than me. This is a problematic list I'm making, but I'm going to keep going. Thanks to Shopify. I can shit on my friends in an ad read. Also a commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world. 10% of all the e-commerce in the US from household names like rgfr.com. The brand is just getting started. Get help starting your own design studio with hundreds of ready-to-use template. Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand styles. 24/7 customer support. Guys, customers can suck sometimes. Where's my thing? Shipping, dude. Inventory, payments, analytics, and more. They do all of it. It's time to turn those what-f's into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com/trippin. Go to Shopify.com/trippin. Don't be in that, by the way. T-R-I-P-P-I-N. Let's get back to the episode. We know it's kind of crazy when you live in Alaska, you know that if bears actually come in contact with human food, they have to go kill that bear. Because they'll always come back for it. No. That's why they don't feed them. Never feed them. Don't let them into your trash cans or, you know, don't leave food out for them because- They're serious about those bear traps. Not traps, whatever they're called. Food traps. What do they call? Bear boxes. Yeah. Yeah. Because they'll just keep coming back and then it'll ruin this whole time. Yeah, damn. Dude, but we, uh, yeah, that night we, uh, we canoeed over to that other island and, like, set up camp. And again, it's one of those things where you're out with my brother, his friends. Like, you're like, oh, there is no, I'm just gonna be wet and cold for three days. You just, there's no like- Yeah, you hit you and you're like, all right, we're not going back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's shit. There's just no longing for comfortability for a while. Just how warm does it get there when you, when you're there? Uh, you're okay in a t-shirt for like three hours of the day when there's sunshine. But then I just, I'm such a, like, I'm cold blooded. I'm such a pus. Yeah. But, uh, I think, I do like going to visit my, my brother here, my older brother lives in Alaska, my other one lives in Utah. I like going to visit them because I, uh, both most countries forces me to be, I can't be a pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I learned that I'm going to be okay. You ever get a place where you're like, it's embarrassing to have the demands I'm having right now. And you're like, yeah, that sound, like looking around, you're like, this sounds really lame. Yeah, yeah. And just like, I might like, my sleeping bag isn't puffy enough. I can feel the rocks underneath me. And then this like, lady in a sailboats, you know, she's like, I've, I've been puking for three days straight. Yeah. I was like a spanish class in Colombian. We were like talking about dogs and one of them was like, so where's your dogs now? And one of them was like, which with our sister and the other one was like, it's like a dog hotel. But he was saying in spanish. She was like, I don't, I think you said that wrong. She was a Venezuelan refugee in Colombia. And she was like, no, you mean, like a, like a, what do you mean? And he's like, it's like a dog like hotel. She was like, what? Yeah. And they're like, yeah, we just pay for. She was like, it was like an embarrassing thing to say to someone like that. And you're like, you just should keep that quiet. Yeah, yeah. And meanwhile, their dogs are like, our country dogs where you're like, well, they're the dog that kept coming back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not my, it just comes a lot. That sleeps inside. Yeah. When I do, we live, when I was growing up in Kentucky, we live next door to family from India. Yeah. And their grandma moved from India to live with them. And we had a track by our house, a walking track. And I was just was obsessed with their grandma. She was this old Indian woman that I loved. And she would, we'd walk the tracks together as a little kid. And my golden retriever would follow us sometimes. Yeah. And she would point to it and tell me a story about how a leopard was a leopard killed their dog. We knew because we saw the bloody paw prints walking away from our home. So my dad tracked it down for three days and killed it and brought it home to bury our dog properly inside the leopard. What? Yeah. And then my golden retriever's walking behind. Socks never go there. I've never actually been. Never go there. Why? It's because of this shit. And there's piss puddles everywhere. Every story I've heard of India definitely has diarrhea in it and stepping in diarrhea. It's crazy, though, to say the same thing, though, you go, it's still the most populated country in the world. Is that China? Is it per per square? Yeah. Most crowded. So you're like most of them can survive having a little bit of diarrhea every day. And I'm sitting on the sub get subway being like, well, I wore these pants on the subway once. Got to throw them in the wash before I ever wear them again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So India did overtake China for most populous. No. I was crowded. Well, China did something about it. In the areas where there's people. Wow. Did I give a girl toxic suction during once because I figured her after we got back, but from what? I think I was holding the subway bar. And I didn't like wash my hands. We were both positive. I gave her some disease. And then I was like, oh my god, we had to take her to the hospital. And then I got tested and they were like, you have nothing. I'm like, what? And then the doctor. You touched the pole because I was touching where it's the most disgusting thing. I now I wash my hands whenever I come in. You know, yeah. Yeah. I would hope there was just like a gross guy like like blew up or posted performing on the pole. Yeah. There's that right before that. Dude, like the spinnies with a scratch on the pole. It's so many disgusting people coughing in other hands. I do. This country is too obsessed with fucking stopping like brown immigration. And it should be yellow immigration. That's the real issue just from China. You can sit this one out. Yeah, I'm not. We need Trump. It's not about the fucking Mexicans or the Honduran's or the Guadalamas. It's the Chinese. They're ruining everything. Why? They suck when you're like the subway door is open and you want to get out. Who's pushing on a Chinese? Oh, oh, what a beautiful sunset. I hope someone can block it with that fucking iPad. A Chinese. A Chinese. I get that from Simone's father. That's the old style like racism. He's Chinese. You can see above Chinese. Bring a stool everywhere. Oh, they're always coughing and they're always fucking taking in the overhead and the plane. A fucking raw turkey. You'll find turkey there. Are you Chinese? Yeah, I'm not. I've never seen one of them take a turkey and do a plane. It's always like leaking. It's like boxes that are like leaking. Like what are you doing? You can find food. Anyway, the point is leave these Mexicans alone. I will say I love sitting next to a Chinese. Yeah. I'm in some trouble on the plane though. Because they also don't care. They don't care. This is they they are. I'm such a grouch on planes and traveling that when I walk into an airport, it's a force field. I'm a. I'm so mad. I'm there. I'm a bitch. And if I sit next to like a old just Asian couple and you know, they do that thing where they're like, they kind of just smile at you. No matter what. And I'm such a bitch. I will death stare them and they are relentlessly continue to smile no matter what. I could be such a bitch to them. I could be like, don't touch me, move over and she'd be like, okay, sorry. It would it's always smiling no matter what. The older ones are just happy like, Mao is not making their sister disappear in the middle of the night because their dad sets something wrong. They're just like, this is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're such a fun little. But you got me like kill us. But there was nothing, oh, dude, I'm just that island. You know, we like went over and came on the other side afterwards. And just if you see like, is there like that canoe picture at night, we knew, yeah, I mean, that's that's one of them at night when you flip through these little. They have the whole. Wow. Yeah, that's just. That damn. It's just like, God, dam it, no one's there, no one's, no one's there. Um, you go to the beaches to, you know, go, uh, is it raw beaches or sand? It's like, it's all pebbles. It's all pebbles. Yeah, it's all pebbles. That must be the best. So there's nothing there. And then at night, when it gets dark and you go out on the water, it's all the bioluminescent. You put, you put your hand in the water and it's all glowing, you know, yeah, yeah. I didn't know they had it up there that cold. It's a freaking, it's rainfall is up there. Uh, and uh, just what's it? You've never been like, I've never been somewhere where you're like, oh, this hasn't been touched by humans yet. Right. Like this. Uh, yeah, for sure. That looks like you know what it actually is. Yeah. It's all clams. Uh, like the whole, you almost feel bad walking on it because you're like, yeah, you're like every step you're stepping on clams, that that's how many clams, um, not on this island, just another place on Juneau, you can walk to the beaches. And bald eagles are like crows or ravens. They're in the hundreds around you just everywhere on the beach. You've been to Alaska and been around the bald eagles. The anchor in Anchorage, uh, you see them, it's like, whoa, yeah, they're just like pretty cash. They're, they're like, uh, they're pigeons of them. I mean, they're, they're everywhere, but it's, it's, that's fucking gorgeous. And that's the canoe that looks like it's a remnant from the, yeah, that was the one. That was like the, the one that, uh, you know, the, the scouts hurt like my brother's friend took us to, I mean, so no, we're even there. Go back to the hiking one. Look at that. Yeah. That's just, that was not even, that was us just taking a walk that day. That wasn't even a planned hike. I mean, we would go like, yeah, like we, uh, we took a ferry over to Skagway. And, uh, what's that city? It's just like one of these little port towns, like, like the, the, uh, cruise lines drops you off. Yeah. But I came, my brother, so my brother works on the fairies that take the miners over and like, they had to breathalyze them every time. What? The miners tapped like Epstein Island. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're all, they're going, they're so cold and the little bikinis, they all have all boots on now. Um, they just want the warmth. They do. Uh, and so he's just like made friends with all these weird ass dudes that work on these boats. We, uh, um, on Skagway, you can rent these little, it's, you know, it's all these like real, these like little windy roads up to the top of mountain tops and, um, we, we rented these motor scooters, right, and we're going up this mountain side. It's gorgeous. There's nothing else around. And you get up to the top. There's this little house that has kind of like a speakeasy bar in it. I mean, it's just an old woman that would like to drink with anybody who makes it up to the top. And if you know about it, you know about it, she'll let you come in. But she will get you shit faced. Where did she get her boots? People just sprang. People. I mean, she's like, uh, she's like the Miss Muppet of Skagway last night, so what's the bar like? It's a how. I mean, it's truly like, you know, your grandma's curtains, it's like that. You walk in and you're like, this is, this is someone's grandma who couldn't make it back down. Like it's just, it's just this house at the top of his mountain. That's so fucking cool. It's fucking, but it's like, it's so cool to live to have somebody that knows people because it's all these weird funky shit and these abandoned little or like, you know, isolated places of North where, you know, you have these like weird experiences. We, uh, on the way down, we were shit faced. She gets, she won't let you leave until you drink what she have. I think gasoline. If we were taking shots of just, yeah, moonshine, on the way down, we, uh, what the guy, my brother's friends, we were with. I mean, he was like, you know, he's going like this on his motor scooter on the way down the mountain, gets clipped by a car, flies, falls off, not doesn't move for a while and ambulance comes. He refuses to go into ambulance because he's a laskin and doesn't want to pay for it. His head's bleeding. Uh, you definitely has a concussion, you know, gets back on a bike and keeps going down and that's an Alaska person. They're, they're unfazed by shit. But it's just, it is, if you can like be okay with, you'd have to. The problem is mostly to want that and like a five star hotel or a four star hotel. You have to know that you're going to be cold and what half the time to, but when you get to your destination, it makes it worth it also. Yeah. Yeah. Like, dude, you know, we'd be kayaking around and just dolphins, otters. We took a C plane back from Skagway and multiple times just above, you know, just a huge stretch of C. You would see three whales jumping orca whales. Like, it is, and there's nothing around, you know, it's watching whales jump in a C plane that three people are in. Yeah. They're like, we're not even at close to anything human. There's like, oh, I guess it's one up there, but yeah. That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not in a, you're not in one of these like dinky boats where they've, you know, takes words. Yeah. This is like, yeah. Yeah. This is the real shit. I'm going to try to like, yeah, you're like, these aren't, these aren't real whales. These are fucking robots. It's so cool. You've also got this thing I like to call boots on the ground for travel where you're like, you can read about what to do. But if you actually know someone who lives there, so like, I'm living in New York. If you want to like, if you want to visit like, what's a cool bar like, let me show, like, let me show you. Yeah. And then like, I heard this bar like, that part sucks now is a line. Yeah. They got new ownership. They blow. Let me show you the cool one. You need someone there to actually, I figured that out. That's like, like, we went to, uh, we went to Europe, um, like last year and we knew somebody in. Not France. Yeah. And we went to like, we were in, uh, Lisbon before and, and, and Frank or in Paris, you know, in bookends of the trip, but we were not in the middle of it. And we knew somebody there. She lived there for 10 years. That was the best part of the two weeks because she, she knew people like we were, she was taking us to her friends cafes and they were like, come downstairs. You know, and like, you have access. Yeah. And you're just like going to real shit and like talking to human beings without it just being a bartender. That's sick of, you, another toys here, they're trying to fleece you from money. Like everybody that comes in, they're just like fish to them. Yeah. And this is like, oh, cool. You're from America. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We, uh, we went, my roommate and I, uh, Mount Whitney two years ago. Yeah. And before we went up to the mountain, you heard this place called Darwin. Yeah. In Alaska. I mean, Australia. No. In California. No. Okay. Mount Whitney's in Upper California, right? Yeah. I truly wish I wish I knew where it was. That's where the Darma Bums went. Yeah. The Darwin Bums. Darma Bums. Darma. Yeah. Isn't that what they did? They called Mount Whitney. Isn't that like Darma Bums? Who's a Darma Bum? D.H. Nice. You got it. You're picturing the, the cartoon girl. It's Jack Kerawak. Was it, was it, um, Mount Whitney? Anyway. Put it, yeah. Dude, this might be one of these people ended up. Boom. What is it? I don't want peak. Not Mount Whitney. Not Mount Whitney. Oh, fuck. Boom in my face. What is it? Hey, Jorge. When I get something clearly wrong like that, you can rub it in. You like it. You like to get on the mic there. I feel like. There are. You're actually wrong. I feel like you're too nice Jorge. I feel like you're, you're rubbing it and it is like, uh, you were closer than you thought. He's used to dealing with a boss that would beat him. Yeah. He'll feel better. That is true. Yeah. I'm not that kind of boss. Jorge gets on and goes, I guess the internet was wrong again. Sorry. I used the wrong Google. Yeah. Oh, use, use, ask geez. I'll be writing a letter to Google. Never mind, Jonah, Jonah, um, Jonah Ray did, uh, he did a whole. like campaign for like being or ask jeez. - I even doing a bit about ask jeez. We forgot about ask jeez. - And he did a bit about it because it's someone search engine and it was like Jonah, you're a nerd. You do not use ask jeez. We're being to look up anything. - Is he still using it? - It was that and then there was one where Tim Dylan was talking about the green juice, whatever. - The AG one? - Yeah and I was like watching him read this ad and I'm just like what? I'm like, you know what? You don't fucking eat that. - He's like, you're cute. - What are you talking about? - He's got a Big Mac underneath the table going, I get all my greens before 8 a.m. (laughing) - He's got Big Mac sauce in his fingernails. (laughing) - I love when they grow. - I love seeing somebody like promote something like no way, no literally no way. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, like ring camera is great for when I want to watch my porch flowers grow. - Yeah, Bobby Lee talking about like hello fresh. I'm like bro, you don't even know where your kitchen is. (laughing) - Shut up. (laughing) - It's great for someone to make me food with. - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, Darwin is, I think these are the same. Okay, we knew somebody whose dad lived in Darwin and we went there before we camped in my Whitney dude. This town is so crazy, okay, so they don't have, they have no departments. They don't have quote unquote government. I mean, sure if somebody got murdered, police would make their way out there, but there is no, there is, again, no water department, hospital, you know, any, and there's, the mail comes once a week and it just gets dropped off of this post office and you have to walk there. We knew somebody's dad that lived there, he made his own, well, and pumped it and a bunch of like, you know, artists and shit live out there, but they build their own homes. - Yeah, and they-- - Let's make some songs. - Yes. - They're like with build some weird sculptures. - That there's so many-- - Yes, there's so many-- - There's so many-- - There's so many-- I made out of this, it's like, it's so-- - A man lives there-- - A man lives there? - Yeah, and the drama's so dope 'cause they're like, oh, this guy lives in a school bus, you know, and he keeps, he stole this other guy's tires and they're getting, you're getting like real, you're getting into-- - Wow. - To bum drama out there, but it's so funky weird 'cause it's people I wanna live off the grid, but are also artists, and then also some of 'em are just-- - Outlaws? - Yeah, it's such a crazy place to walk around. I mean-- - So dude, I was in, I was in, I was in Barrow, and by the way, speaking of like Austra's and Carrons. So I got to Alaska, I was head of there, and it was like, you gotta say, Uquiyag, Rick. - What is, oh, is that the welcome word? - What? - Is that the welcome word? - No, that's what they call this city. - Oh, okay. - They went back to the indigenous name, and it was hard to pronounce 'cause it's spelled so weird, I was like, Uquiyag, and like, Uquiyag, Rick, get it? I was like, okay. - Uquiyag, Rick. - Yeah, and then I finally was like, all right, and everyone get kind of pissy mad, 'cause I don't know what Juno is, but Anchorage is kind of lezzy. So it's a little more woke-- - I got in trouble at doing a show in the University in Juno. - Yeah, Juno seems like the number one lesbian city, out maybe Portland. It's like fucking white kids that go to University of Southeast Alaska and like pretend, they're the saviors of the Native Americans up there. Pretty much. - Yeah, that's what it is. So they got mad, like, it's Uquiyag, Rick. And I'm like, okay, I mean, who gives a fuck? I'm going, and it was Barrow up until like 10 years ago. Anyway, then I took a tour, and one of the indigenous people were showing us the town, and he was like, hello, welcome, it's Uquiyag, Rick. You can also, it's also some people say Barrow. We say Barrow because that's what we grew up with. But you can say whatever you want. And I'm like, these fucking white bitches are mad at me. And then the indigenous people are like, it's Barrow, grew up with Barrow. What are you talking about? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And by the way, the people that are fighting for Uquiyag, Rick grew up in Seattle. - Yeah, exactly. - You know, I'm like, come in. Anyway, but they did say that like whenever there's like, in that town, whenever there's like a fight, like we got to settle this now. 'Cause we're too small a community and too isolated to have any drama. - Yeah, that's the fucking best. When you do get there and you find out some, when you're sitting in somebody's front porch in a small town like that and somebody walks by. (laughing) And they're like, they fucking, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, they're dog, fuck, somebody else's dog the other day and got him pregnant. - And they're real pissed. (laughing) - It's like dumb silly drama, the whole town's wrapped around. - I love it. - Yeah, but it's like that. I mean, dude, I. - The comedy shows 50th anniversary all those old people showed up and they still had, this was like seven years ago. Within the last seven or eight years, maybe even less. I don't know, but you could hear people going, oh, it's so and so. I'm like, I don't know you, I don't know them, but I'm listening. - It's all you want to know. - And then as it's coming out of their mouth, the reason they're still mad like 30 years later, they have to face how dumb it sounded. - Yeah. - It was like, oh, he bought me and he had to set it up to go and then he was still there when I got off. Anyway, this was 1991. (laughing) You're like, okay. - You're like, you should fight it. - But don't you all have great kids now? - Yeah, yeah. - You should fight them already. - Should you fight them right here, right now? (laughing) Or do you like, my favorite is when they're like, well, they stole this bit from me and you hear the bit and it's, you're like. - So, at bro. - Yeah, yeah. - Personally, you should let 'em have it. - It sucks. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's like genericish shit. - I've been on the wrong end of those. (laughing) Like, yeah, I'm like, defending myself and then later, like, damn, that fucking suck. - Yeah, you hear them do it. - It's five-year comic going. - That's a genius. - Very much. - Wait, let's go back to Alaska. - I'm trying to think of my favorite. - So, wait, what's the city of Juneau like? - Okay, Juneau, it is the capital. That's another place, just hiking about Juneau. - Let me show you all these pictures. These are fucking glorious. - I mean, that's just again walking around Juneau. - Is that a fjord? - It's a fjord. - Yeah. - Can you swim in that? - Yeah. - Have you? - We swim around. I mean, yeah, you can like, it is the nomant's land. You could do truly whatever you want. - Yeah, but, you could do whatever you want. But, I was in Anchorage during like a thaw and it said like, don't go out on the mud. It's like frozen mud for like half a mile. And it was like, be careful. - Why? - Because it's thawing. So you walk out on it into January or you're fine. And then in like, I guess it was like April, you're less fine or mad. - What is that quicksand? - No, it just kind of collapses. And I walked out there for a while and then a big chunk collapsed behind me and went in. I was like, fuck, I can't even get back that way. And I'm like, I'm just dead if it falls. So I'd like slowly walk around. You can do whatever you want. - Yes. - But like, are you, should you do, like can you swim in there? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean again, that's what you, if you live out there, you could die in any day. - Right. - So go out there and have some adventures. But, you know what I mean? This one, I remember actually on this hike, we flew back from Skagway and can't take your bear spray on a sea plane because if it goes off, you know, you're in such a tight space. It's in the pilot's eyes and you're dead. So we had to throw a bear spray away and forgot about it and we're on this hike. And we're going up a little narrow way and just, you hear droppings? - You heard being dropped? - Drops, drops. My brother's like, there's a bear up in that tree eating something and it's dropping on the ground. And he's like, we gotta go quick. We, I just remember, I don't have my bear spray. We had to get rid of it. So we just, again, it's just Alaska. You don't, there's no, there's no alerting authorities. You just go, yeah, if you walk, you walk briskly and then hope that they're not there when you get back. - So now. - And it's just like, it's just that constantly, but also this is, I go up in June, July and August. Those are the most beautiful months of the year and then the rest of the year is darkness. It's bleak, you know? But when you're up there in July, the sun's out till 1 a.m. - I love it. - It's. - And Barrow didn't set in the solstice, but it's like three months. - Yeah. - And then in Anchorage, yeah, it's like 11 or 12 or one. - Yeah, they play, they'll play a, like, you know, a neighborhood pickup game, like a baseball game at 11 p.m. - It's so nuts. - It's light. - It's so nutty. It changes how people live. - Yeah. - It seems like they'd also be like, "Hey, this isn't gonna last, let's really enjoy it." - Yeah, but they, I mean, they do. - In Uquioquic, all the kids at 2 a.m., 3 a.m., they were taking dirt bikes just like going for it. - Yeah, yeah, it's like, I mean, yeah, it's like they just, I don't, like, they don't, like, also, but they're not phased by it. Like they all have boats, do you know what I'm saying? They make life even harder than it needs to be being in Alaska. Like they go and live on boats and, like, it's cold. Do you know what I'm saying? Like they don't even have a home, they could live on a home, but it's below zero degrees in the middle of January and they choose to still live on a boat no matter what. (laughing) - It's drafty and like, like, you're on the water? You wanna be in the, somewhat? - Yeah, exactly. And like, so in the summertime, when it's sunshine, it's sometimes they're just like, yeah, it's hot. and you're like, it's 62 degrees. It's not, this is still freezing cold to me. I live in Atlanta, Georgia. - Yeah. - Is that where you live? - I did for 10 years, I'm in LA now. I think I, what was my other-- - Like flip through some more of these natural pictures. - What was my other really favorite? - Wow. - I can't think of my-- - God, it's so cool too 'cause you're not gonna, it's hikes like this, this seems like could be your somebody in a cloudy day, part of it, but like-- - Yeah. - But you're just not gonna run into any fucking fat Americans. - Yeah, we were the only people on the island that day. - Keep going. - Again, a bear could run up, I mean those are just, a bear could run up to us and-- - Have you ever had a bear spray one? - I've never had a spray it. That was us at the top of the mountain. I've never had a spray, you know what they say though? - Wow. - God damn, the sun must set forever up there. - And it's dope, it's also one of these towns where you drink for survival. - Really? - Yeah. Look at all the mountains above. - The clouds? - The clouds. Did you see that documentary of that young kid who was like the next prodigy of climbing next to Snowy, not solo. I mean, he was doing like the mountaineering where it was like the snowy mountains and stuff. - Okay, blood. - He died in Juno. Yeah, they finally found his body a few years later, a helicopter going up and down the mountain and found two bodies, dead bodies abandoned. But yeah, like, I'm obviously obsessed with it. But I do think, I mean my brother's only been up there like five years. - One, he go. - Okay, so he, when he graduated college, he started dating a girl. Got a nerve-sing, travel nursing. - Yeah. - You know, a lot of jobs. And they decided to live in a different place out west for a year. And so I think they lived in seven different states. And Alaska was gonna be the last stop before they settled in Montana. And they got to Alaska and they were like, - We're good, really. - This is it. You can see. - Just seeing like Montana is like a lower level. - Yeah, for sure. - It's like New York Atlantic City, like this is really cool. Like, let me show you another city out of west and it's like much cooler than this. - Oh, wow, you think it could get better. In Mizzoula. - Yeah. - Mizzoula does rule. - Yeah, they love it. - Pretty awesome. - I mean, we would do like-- - Is that just people messing around? It's all right. - We would do like, dude, when he lived in Billings, Montana, we would just put in a kayak in Wyoming, and kayak for a couple of days, till we got out in Montana. And like, sometimes it would be getting dusk and he'd be like, all the shoreline has been over flooded. We might have to continue through the night. And I love going to hang out with him 'cause I'm like, all right. I get pissed off and, you know, I get bumped for a spot. And then I go out into the wilderness with him and I go, well, sometimes you just have to canoe through the night 'cause there's nowhere to stop. - Yeah. - And just drink and be okay with it. And it makes me stop being such a uptight bitch. - Yeah. Yeah, especially too. And like, there's no choice. We're just doing it. - Yeah. - And you're like, well, why? It's like, it's happening. - Right, right, right. Yeah, and you're just like, you suck it up. And yeah, it's like, I went mountain biking with my little brother in Utah last weekend. - Yeah. I, like, hey, did you ever mountain bike? Like mountain bike, you know what I mean? - My friend, Nick Kapper does it all the time and I'll straight up, but he says I gotta start doing it. - It's hell on your butt. It's so, I mean, I was tasting blood. - Really? - Yeah. - No, I don't have to do that at all. - It's so dope. I dig, have you ever mountain bike before? Oh my God, it's so fun. But I just, inconsistently, like, telling my, I'm dead, I'm dead, I want to die. I have these hikes I go with my brothers. I want to die. It's a four hour hike and they're mountain goats and they're skipping up it. And I'm just lying to myself about how much fun I'm having 'cause my body's screaming. - Like stop. - Yeah, every bone in my body's aching, but I'm going like, this is just a fucking Tuesday for them. And I learned to not be such a pus-puss. (laughs) They also remember-- - Yeah, there it is, I was like, I'm done. I'm like, well, we're hours away. - Yeah, I, you can die here if you want. - Yeah. - Get up. - That's what it is, do my, my brother's girlfriend hiked Mount Winnie like last year and was gonna ski down. - Yeah. - Oh really? - Yeah, but she was with a group and like, they decided to go down this really sketchy part that had been iced over and she was like, I'm not doing it. And went down a path that, and she got lost and found this couple who was hiking up Mount Winnie and was lost too and were scared and did not pack a tent or anything for the night. 'Cause they were playing on doing it in a day. So she was like, we just huddled behind a boulder in the middle of a snow patch. - Wow. - And I met, I just met these people that, you know, they're strangers to me. But we all just, like, spooned for body warmth through the night and they're crying and wailing and she's like, you just shut up, you shut up. We're out here, this is our only choice. Huddled together for warmth and we'll figure it out in the morning and then she's like, and then we woke up and the sun came out and I was like, see ya, and I left her and ski the rest of the way down. But I was like, these are, these people, these people, I got to hang out with every now and then, to not be, they don't want to get about it. - Yeah, yeah, it takes you out of your comfort zone enough to where you're like, okay, maybe I'm complaining about the wrong things. - Yes. - Like, it's still pretty good. - It's good, you know what I love? I love when I've been around comics or Hollywood people too much and everybody's name dropping and it's all like a bunch of bullshit, or talk, right? And then I go visit my brothers at West and they're like, I don't, I don't know who the fuck you're talking about. I don't care about any of that. This man climbed out of a mountain with, had, you know, sold his arm off and survived it. And that's all I talk about and I go, okay, this is bad ass. - Yeah, it's more like actually did something and not just like, I don't know how you live in LA. I'm sorry, I don't know how you live in Hollywood. - I do, I do dig it. - Really? - I dig, we're moving to a place on a cliff with a view. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah, you're in New York and then you're going to London. - Yeah. (laughing) - That's like. - Come on, bandit. See, there's something about me. She doesn't like it 'cause it's, I want her to-- - I'm gonna press your legs. Bandit, up up. - She thinks she can tell me to put any deodorant on. - Bandit. - Up up up up. - Come on, bandit. - Oh my god, it's 'cause I want it too much. - Yes. - I don't care at all, I love-- - She doesn't like the fucking jujitsu. - Yeah. - There's a bunch going on up stairs. - Yeah, there's a bunch going on up stairs. - Okay, wait, what's Juno like? Well, let's see if some more of these pictures too. So let's go through some of these 'cause this is the fucking most glorious nature of like-- - It was crazy, there's a ton of homeless and downtown Juno. - I guess too. - Don't you want to look at these people and go, "Hey, you can be homeless anywhere." - Hey, yeah. - Why are you picking a last-- - One trip. - Just, I guess, get on a fairy and, all you have to do is get down to Washington. Yeah, there we go, it's, you know. I have so many more, I could send-- - Yeah, send me a link. - We'll put him in. - But is it, like, when you see homeless and-- - And why are you here? - It's like, can you just save up for one plane ticket? - I know, I know you're homeless 'cause you don't, you didn't make the best life decisions, but all you have to do is make one more decision. - Like one good decision. - Get to California. - Get to California. Santa Monica, out by Trays house. - Right. (laughs) - Right. - But you're, like, also, you, but you look at us people, you how are you so alive? - Yeah, how do you survive that winter? You're not die off. - I don't know. - You know how they say, "Tick so worse" because of global warming that it's making, they don't get frozen off during the-- - Oh, really? - As much during the winter 'cause it doesn't last as long. - Yeah. - So they start more, the rats here too. - I didn't think about that. - Don't have a die off period, it's too long. - Yeah, I don't know what the homesteads are like, "Shouldn't you guys be eviscerated or are you guys new?" And do you last more than two winters? - I don't know it 'cause it was my mind 'cause I go, I, like, 'cause I, I get, I know that NASCAR guy just die at 40 'cause it's septic or whatever, septic. - Yeah, something. - Septic or whatever? It makes sense. - A lot of sepsis. - Sepsis? Yeah, I keep on it septic. I mean, it's gotta be the same thing, right? It's like, it's a, it's dirt inside your organs. And I go, there's no way he died from somebody fingering him. - No. - After touching a dirty, steering wheel. And then, and yet there's homeless people that survive a life. - Survive that. Well, you know what the fuck? - It was the same thing. - Septic. - Every time somebody dies young in comedy, me and Rogan was like, "How is Dia still alive?" He only did coke, he was up until recently. He was so fat, and it was like, he would climb one flight of stairs to the comedy store, come to the phone room where they used to be the phone room outside the belly room. And it just, and it was like 63 degrees. And I put days to go, so fucking hot in here. And like, how did you make it to 60? It's crazy, and these other guys are just passing. - Yeah, and like, you ever like, you're like tired. You know, you've had a full day, and you're like, "Fuck, I gotta go do a set." - Yeah. - You know, and then you watch these people [BLANK_AUDIO] so unhealthy. I mean, out of their mind and they're just, they're doing five sets a night and you're like, I'm tired. - Yeah, drinking, Jojo Roso, number one pig in America, but he's like, dude, all you do is drink every night, and you're not like huge. - You're not huge, you come up with material. - Yeah. - You have a good set. - Yeah, but also like your body should be like, way worse than anyone's. It's not great, but like, it's fine. - He looks like an average 40-year-old guy. He is a body of a man who has five children. - Yeah, right. He's giving up a little, like I'm not gonna be all bees, but I'm definitely not getting tone. - Right, yeah, he does look like he, does he still have that food truck in Austin? - I don't know, does he? I didn't know he had one. - Yeah, he had one. - He had one here, like a bar, a bar, like sandwich place. - Did it, did it? - No one's still learning. - Is it really? - Yeah, it's not far from here. Good sandwiches, joy roses. But like, one time we were all in Montauk and we were at a pool house for like a week, and I was getting to the pool, and he was in the pool, and he goes, "Are you stop?" And I'm like, "Well, stop doing that." And I'm like, "What do you mean?" - Yeah. - Like I was just about to jump on the pool. I was like, "Stop doing that with your stomach." And I was like, "What?" And he goes, "You're sucking it in." And I was like, "Oh, dude, you just fear just fat." This is just my normal stomach. Why would I suck in my stomach for 20 straight minutes? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, in front of your friends. - Yeah, like, what are you talking about? - I thought you were much fatter friends. - What are you talking about, dude? And he was like, "Damn, I really think you're doing something." - I'm not a senior on spring break in Panama City Beach. He's staring at your stomach as you're walking across the pool. Like, "I sucks." (laughing) - What else have you been in, so when I was there last, I knew these radio people and they would do stories about the allusions. - What's the allusion? - The allusion islands, all that unalasca. The ones that go up like this. And they go, "They're so isolated." And this one guy was like, "I haven't been able to get home for over a week." I've been sleeping on couches because the flights keep getting canceled, 'cause of the weather. He goes, "I got halfway out one time." They go, "We gotta turn." Came all the way back to Anchorage. And he goes, "You're just isolated out there." And they do stories on like fishing villages that are like not even like thousands of years old. Some of them like 150 years old, but they're kind of going away. 'Cause anyone knows, like, "I'm not living here." - Yeah. It is hard to. - They're like kind of half-russian. - With the internet to justify staying out there. It's like the Laskin kids are like all-mish kids. They're like, "Well, I'm gonna go to Seattle for a year "to see if this is better life." - See you probably never. - So to see if I want to eat something other than fresh elk every day. - You want a reindeer dog's? - No. - Oh. - No. They're not dogs you eat. - No reindeer hot dogs. - Oh, reindeer dogs, I did. I did Fairbanks and I did the North Pole show. Did you ever done that? - Uh-huh. - There's a. In Fairbanks, if you go a little bit above Fairbanks, it's called like North Pole something. And there's like an actual like little Santa's house and a little workshop, but there's this bar. I mean, they are. I think they have a show there once a month in the summertime that they bring a comic up for. And it is their entertainment for the year. And they are so pumped to have you there. I am a ham, but I think I did an hour and a half on stage and could have kept going. - 'Cause they're so into it. - So fun. - But they had a reindeer dog up there. And yeah, remember it was good. I mean, it's like a. - Alaska crowds are so fucking good. - They're so fun 'cause they're, I mean, they're starved for, even if they don't, 'cause there's a lot of pretty red people up there. And I don't do that much political stuff, but even if you, I like slight, slight and little snide comments here and there, but they're just so happy to have entertainment. Even if you're not there a couple of tea either, just like happy to be out watching somebody perform for them. - It's so fun. - Yeah. - And I was going to realize I've been on more times than I realized, like twice before any sort of draw, this place called the Woodshed in Anchorage is now some other bar, but I went by there. I'm like, this is it. They put us upstairs, used to be a whorehouse. And for a while it was an abortion clinic, an illegal abortion clinic. But we would stay there, do the shows downstairs, try to get someone to come up and have sex and fail. And then, and then like, but they're so into it. And then the bar, the shows downstairs, bars on the ground floor and average just party. - Oh yeah. Oh yeah, there's like, they're so pumped. I mean, they were telling me, oh man, there. There's, you know what's so fun is it's like, you know what Alaska is? Alaska, please stay, please stay in my lap. I'll hold you and I'll be okay. I'm so happy. - Good girl, band it. - And I'm so happy. It's like when my aunt I hate, I have to go, like, have a conversation with her. - Yeah. - I don't wanna have it when I'm just like, you're just putting in my time so I don't have to do this anymore. She doesn't wanna be here. - Good girl. - Okay. - She's like, I don't know, pay attention to you. Oh my god, I'm obsessed with it. - That's the jam, that's the jam, using your legs up there. - Oh god, God, she's so soft. Fuck, I love it so much. If you would have slept with that woman at that bar. - Yeah. - Just know she's slept with every single one of you are the friends. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You know, there's not that many of them there. They all know each other. Alaska is 40 years behind. - Everywhere else. What do you mean? - Yeah. In like a, like a, what's in kind of thing. - Interesting. - You know? - Yeah, I remember the first time I went, they had some guy with smoking weed in the street. Every time we mentioned weed, you're like, these things don't make sense anymore. Weed was illegal. Like pretty much everywhere. - It's, to me, it's gelatin. I don't know, I just. - Really? - I mean, that's how life was like for 30 years. - Yeah, yeah. So this guy was just smoking in the streets. It's so man. And they were like, no, they just made it illegal in Alaska. Like in the 70s. And that guy was like, I'm not doing that. I'm still smoking. And they were like. - This is what I'm saying. Like they do the best part is even in, I was in Fairbanks. And they were like telling me how when Greg Fitzgerald was up there, Fitzgerald's. - Fitzgerald's. - Greg's Fitzgerald's, who's Fitzgerald? - F Scott Fitzgerald. - Yeah. Greg Fitzgerald's up there. They were like, our sheriff played a prank on him. Our sheriff pulled him over. And they got him out of the car and they told him he had to go to jail. And he was like, man, he filmed the whole thing. We were laughing. I go, the sheriff played a prank. - On the visiting comic. Is this a dukes of hazard TV show? It's like, it's a huge town in Alaska, but it's still that small where the fucking, the sheriff is going and pulling illegal pranks filming it and putting it on the internet. 'Cause it's still like the Wild Wild West. And nothing matters. - Pull the city populations of Alaska. Like in top five cities. - I think it's gotta be under a million. - Okay, here we go. Here we go. Anchorage, most. Doesn't this have the numbers? - Boom. Boom. What? What the fuck? Okay, there we go. Anchorage, how many people? 291,000, 300,000. Wow. And then Fairbanks is next with 32,000. That's a tiny town. - Well, what's number one Anchorage has, how many? - Almost 300,000. - 300,000 and-- - You know, and Fairbanks are around 32,000. And then it drops at 9,000. Number four, what's the number? - 9,000. Sometimes you do a stadium show for 20,000 people. - Wow. Hey, find, I mean, I've been to seeing them. Wait, find a Barrow or Uquilloagvik? Oh, there, Uquilloagvik, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up. There, Uquilloagvik, 45,000 people. - Uquilloagvik? - That's about right. Wow. - Oh yeah. - That place ruled. That place ruled. Yeah, there's fucking whale bones everywhere anyway. - Yeah. - It's so fucking nuts there and wild. It's so cool you get to go up there. - It is really cool. I want to, I'd like to go up there more. I mean, but then there's parts, like you go to like fair banks and you're like, oh, this is an actual town. - Yeah. - Like it's not, also, it's not even Canadian at all. It is America. - Interesting. - They don't have any accents up there. - Really? - Yeah, for sure. But like, I mean, what do they say about, is it Anchorage? They go, Anchorage, it's 20 miles to Alaska. Anywhere from Anchorage, like they don't even consider it. It's too big city for them. They don't even want to claim it. - Yeah, that's the illusions that like we're not, we're in a completely different country. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We're not even like at all Alaska. - Yeah, for sure. - They're so isolated. - Yeah, there's the people that are bunkering. You know, there's people that bunker for preparation. They're bunkering now. - Yeah, right, yeah, they just are the bunkers. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's dope. I mean, like, it's a shit that I like to, I think because I don't know, I go hang out with people up here all the time and then I get really annoyed with when I go back to Hollywood and I'm around a bunch of people that think that there's stupid little artsy world as the center of the universe and I'm like you're fucking losers. I do love, I don't know, I kind of lived in London for a summer and when I was in college I was an intern for the Olympics and I lived in, it was very, we worked the cleaning company and we lived in, you know like there was trailers that you, you see on construction sites, we lived 10 to 1 to one of those. Like some of the clean, we had cleaners from Hungary and we had other interns from Leeds Met and but it was like shitty. I mean like some people like there was a, there was a daily mail article about how horrible our living conditions were. Yeah. But I looked back on that time and I go that shit was so fun but I wouldn't have been able to do this now that I live a comfortable life. That's a problem. You build up like luxuries and then you just can't take it. Yeah. We went to Bonaparte and then and they put us up in a hotel for comedy. They don't do comedy anymore but we were like looking at all the tents and people like can you imagine staying here for four days and it was like yeah I mean yeah 80,000 people are doing it. What do you mean? It's not, these aren't refugees. These are people willingly getting a tent and enjoying themselves. Yeah. We remember when a burning man like a few years ago they were like it's a dust storm. They're stuck out there and they go, you see you're saying that these, they have to hunker down for a day. The RVs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Our shower and our RV isn't working. We're gonna die. Yeah. One day you're like fine. You're totally fine. Yeah. It is nice. Yeah LA, the problem with LA is like they really do the artsy thing. It's like they think it's the center of the world and they'll mention some TV show. I'm like all right. And what is that? Like what you don't know about that? I wanted this award. I'm like I hate that. I hate that. Gross this much. Yeah. I always get that like I don't watch that much fine, whatever. But people are like I can't believe you haven't seen this and this and this and this. I go I'm good. I'm going to die at some point. Yeah. When I die in my deathbed, I'd rather be like oh I saw the top of these 19 mountains. I don't care that I finished the last season of hacks. Yeah. Yeah. And then you get the comics who are like you didn't watch my special and it's like bro you know there's so many specials, right? You're aware that it's like four a week. Yeah. Right. Like what do you talk? No. I don't I don't ever get mad at comics watching specials. I can't even I think I just I could be watching your live hour. Yeah. There's that too. I've actually seen a lot of stand-up. It's always much better than a special. For sure. Even when I I think my brain just disassociates. I could be staring at you for an hour on stage. Yeah. And you get off and I'd be like there was 15 minutes that I yeah I went away. I was thinking about stuff. I was somewhere else. I don't I don't I don't care. I want to do I either want to I want to do the base camp of Everest next. Everest is in Alaska? No. Where? Yeah. Base camp. No. That's Washington. Everest. Where's Everest? Everest in sight in Nepal and Everest. And then then I want to do like the base camp. He did. And then I want to do Kilimanjaro soon. I did that. You did. My dad. You dad? 83. Really? Yeah. He's the eighth oldest man to do it at the time. Did he train? Sort of. He just walked around his flat neighbor with rocks in his backpack. He's he's like he's like a survivor. Yeah. He's he's wild. That's all I that's the that's all I want to do is go do that stuff like that. Yeah. We're doing eight days in Yosemite over the fourth of July. I just want to yeah. I want to climb. You do have to. I already did it last year. Have you done it? No. Dude. Okay. So you know what? I was gone with that realizing how like I've done angels landing and I'm like oh, this is but then half to him is like dude. That's it. It gets started early. It's all day. It's fine. It's so easy. Yeah. I mean the going down is the only at very many any mountain. The going down is the only part that sucks underneath. Yeah. Yeah. It's so much worse. But you know about the the climbing the very tip top the last. So the half done the last like push is can you look at the picture of it? It's what do you call them? They're you have to hold onto a cable. Yeah. And it's so steep that yeah, there's called the cables. Okay. Right. Do you see how steep it is? Like so you're if you let go of those cables, you'll die. Wow. You know what I'm saying? It's like but it can get kind of crowded. Oh look. Yeah. To the end of the day. But you just have. Oh, the fucking. No. Yeah. It's nuts. Make that bigger. What the fuck? No. Yeah. That's how that's how killing majority gets. Yeah. It's crazy. That's how everyone gets where you see these people on a line waiting to take their fucking picture and then turn around. And then and then the crazy thing is you see people like I'm dying by the time I get up there. I mean and I'm pretty damn fit. I could do most things I think. But I am out. I am out of breath. I want to get to the top. I'm exhausted. And you turn around and there's some girl in a pilgrim skirt and like 20 year old sketchers. And you're like how are you up here right now? How did you make it up here? Or sometimes I'm you know visiting my brother in Alaska and we climb up to a top of a mountain and I look behind me and there's two obese people behind me making out. And I go, did you pay somebody to wheel you up here? How did you get up here? And it's mean of me to say that. But I'm upset because I'm dying. I'm physically in shape and I'm dying and I'm pissed off that you've made it up here as well. We remember the hard way and run in once. We're like let's go the hard way and then and that was with Bernie Stevens. He's not around much anymore. But like we were like this is too steep. We got to turn back. We can't we can't. We can't. It's like way too steep. This is like not cool. And then we like turn around and there was a child of like five behind us doing it. We really should be able to do this. Also when these kids are like flipping and doing jumping jacks all around and you're like I'll kill you. I'll kill you. This is me. This is I think I'm I'm like midway on the cables right there. Yeah I'm looking pretty hot. I know. I know. I know. I climbed that to I think it's the porosus guy said that to me afterwards. But yeah it's it's that one's that's the dopest part about that. So at least in angels landing there's that cable part too. And it's like really have to have to glow around people. And so if they get pushy especially let me bring it back. He's fucking Chinese. They have no spatial awareness. So they're just like move them. Like wait wait. This is fucking day literally up. Somebody dies once every month there because the chill. So I just died there. Yeah it happens all the time. It's because they're used to crowds. So it doesn't phase them. You're like you're right. Yeah you are air. What does that mean? There's a we there's 20 million in my city. What does what does that mean personal space or words don't go together. But but then once you get up there at least it's like wide open and you can like sit have your lunch and like kind of be alone. Yeah it feels good. You yeah when it gets kind of like like my my older brother did a canyon. Yeah he did a 21 day trip rafting in the canyon. And this is going to be fucked up to say but a woman did die on their trip. Nice. Yeah. And it does kind of make you you kind of want something bad to happen on your trip. Not to anybody you know. Yeah. But somebody adjacent to you to be like yeah what I did was hard and scary. I don't it doesn't make me feel good when there's all mispeople skipping up this with me. Yeah. Yeah. I want somebody to get injured so I can tell people it's not. We climb Fuego and in Guatemala and there was like volcano just goes off every five minutes and you have the mountain right next to it. So once you get up there it's like it's hard to get up there. It actually gets thin. But then we already just can't and just seeing these explosions over and over again. And then people like is it dangerous? They're like no the wind just goes one way and then like two days after I went like the wind changed they had to evacuate everybody like instantly. Like wow that does make you feel better. Yeah. Is it so funny when you do do those trips though and you're like I was so trusting. Yeah. This person is a professional. They know what they're doing. Then he two days later you're like everyone died. Are there any parts of Alaska you're still like itching to get to? I'm really excited to go to these the islands. The the Homer there's I guess that's the little island we're going to. There's like a smaller island off a Homer that we're we're boating to and camping out there for a few days. And then I would really like to get to I've recently done Anchorage and Fairbanks. I would like to get up to Denali. You know I also don't like I've done like shows and shit. I don't I don't care to go do anymore shows and I like doing shows but I would rather just go up there and live the life. Yeah. I'd rather like the shows make it tax deductible. Yeah for sure but I don't know I'd rather not pack makeup. I'd rather not put any like show effort into it and I'd like to just go up there and uh I don't know I want to get up to I would like to go live a week or two weeks too, way up where they, you know what I'm saying, where they have to go kill their food to eat that day. I would like to have to kill something to eat it. Are you when you're out and are you packing food or are you fishing? We're like Admiral. I mean, we're packing food, oh, we're packing food if we need it, but we're fishing and cooking the fish. God damn it. If we catch it. Damn. Also, sometimes though, like we caught a lot of those salmon, those salmon can turn and even if you cook up, they're not, I mean, they're, because they're actively dying. They're not good. What are they called? Blimpies and something else? Or so, there's like two words for bumpies, bumpies feels right? Yeah. I don't know. And it's like they just looked at, there's like swimming downstream or upstream or if they get to the ocean or if they don't or the sound, if they get to the ocean, they've got to be young. They're going out to college then the ones that are going back up, they're going, the ones coming back up to are, they're planning to falcon die. Right. They're coming home from college, their life is over. So funny, they just storm the gates and these bears are like, well, who's jumping up? Yeah. They're trying to get one and like a fuel get by. And it with numbers. It is what a sad, sad life. You go all the way back there, some bear is just eating you. Just eats you and you're full of cum. It's blowing loads. And it's like those, you know, those juicy gummies with a little squirt on the inside. Yeah. The gushers. Yeah. That's how they're like, oh, that was a good texture one. The bears don't realize the part they like. Oh. I love what's in that. I was like, I got to want to tell you, no, tell me it's a gusher. Like, bro, they're gizzing your mouth. Oh god. Fuck. It's disgusting. Yeah. But imagine being so horny that you're swimming upstream and then you get killed. Maybe you don't even feel it. Maybe you're so horny. You don't feel pain. Yeah. Maybe that's it. Just gizzing away. Yeah. Right before, if you're getting tortured right before they kill you, you're like, let me get hard. Or let me rub one out. And David Taylor went fishing because of sort of the wood shed. They were like, we can't really pay you much. At the time, it was 500 bucks and a flight and a place to stay, which is like awesome. Yeah. You're like, you're paying for my way to Alaska. Yeah. Cool. But they're like, we feel bad. We can't afford it. But like, we'll take you out. I don't want a glacier thing on a boat. I mean, not a plane or take you fishing in the sound. We're like, fishing. Yeah. It's awesome. Yeah. And he's like, hit him and then cut some open. And you see like eggs. And like, this was pregnant. And my friend David Taylor was like, is that caviar? And he's like, yeah. He's like, can you eat it? Yeah. I mean, take a spoon and just eat him right on that. And then David just kept eating. Every time he found out pregnant, he just filled up on it and then got the worst sea sickness of every sea. He kept filling up on fresh raw caviar on a boat and fill up on it. He's supposed to put a little on a cracker. It's so, did he like it? Did he say it tasted good? I don't think caviar tastes good. I think it's like, it's rare and expensive, so you're supposed to like it. But then you're, that's the best part when you're out there and you're like, this isn't that rare. We're, we're having a shit ton of it. So when you find out that lobster is actually, it was like prison food for back in the day. Oh, really? Yeah, you never heard that about lobsters? Because it was like bottom dwellers. Yeah, lobsters were, they called them the, the roaches of the sea. They were like, they were, you know, you can catch a shit ton of them at a time and they're not, you can catch easily, easily catch them. And so they became prison food. And then, whatever reason some kind of campaign or something made them seem like they were some fancy, sought-after expensive. Wow. Mm-hmm. So you do with kale. It's just a garnish. Yeah. I was like, yeah, we went to a garden the other day and I was like, that's how my kale looks. Hey, so let's wrap this up. There's what I ask everybody. What's somewhere you want to go that you haven't been yet? That's the kind of calling you. And do you have any travel tips? No. Or specific. Uh, yeah. I think I want to go skiing in Japan. Yeah. Me too. There was some year where they were like the base was like a hundred and something, it was like what? And they're like, that's pretty typical. Yeah. And there's like seven different resorts. You can kind of easily pop too. Mm-hmm. I kind of an epic both have Japanese likes. Mm-hmm. Like sister passes. Yeah. You have an icon pass. Yeah, there's like a few mountains out there, you can get Europe too, but like, yeah. Is that true? Uh, I want to, I want to go skiing in Japan. I want to go to the base of Everest. I mean, I'd like to go all the way to the top. I just feel like, you know, if I'm doing Uncle Vinnie's in New Jersey, I don't have time to train for Everest. Yeah. But uh. I hate snow hiking. Wow. Steep me a nice warm day. But I don't know. I kind of dig it. Okay. And there's snow around you. It's dope. Uh. And then, but I also just would want to walk around to Paul and have never been to that part of the country or the world. Yeah. Uh. Travel tip. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Just buy underwear and throw it away. I like that one. Yeah. Instead of trying to wash it. Yeah. Just buy a couple packs. Just be like, this is, uh, these are like wet wipes, treat underwear like wet wipes. Yeah. Just toss them, get new ones. Don't try it. They're pretty cheap. I did it in Thailand. I made my friend wet and it was like, I'm buying a 12 pack or two six packs of t-shirts and two six packs of socks, two six packs of underwear. Yeah. And it was like, I don't know. I don't even know how to find a launcher about there. Yeah. Oh, what are you going to do? Log around. Derby. Derby. Skid marks. Yeah. If you're going for two weeks, yeah. Exactly. Yeah. New underwear. All right. Cafe and I'll put it in all their shit when I put this in. I'll send you some more pictures. Yeah. Send me more. I know. I feel okay. I'll stick them in. Ton. Yeah. All the nature pictures. Yeah. Some other ones too. That salmon jizzing in your leg. Dude, my, I don't even know if this is such a random thing. I just thought about it in not France, just being like, we know people walking around. She, the woman we knew was from Texas, though. And I love when you find other Americans that have left America and lived somewhere else. This is my favorite. Her best friend she lived with and not. Not France. Yeah. Left America because she was tired of being royalty where she was from. She grew up in Missouri and everybody knew her because her dad wrote the jingle for, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, Riley. No way. Otto parts. And everybody in her town recognized their family because they were the most famous people in this part of Missouri for her dad's jingle and she said I'm sick and tired. So she went to go be a nobody and not France. Wow. That a beautiful story. It's kind of like a trouble too. Nobody to recognize me. Yeah. They found out my comic like, that's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They make money at that. I'm like, yeah, a lot. Like what? Like enough to like eat. I'm like, yeah, and then you want. You don't believe it. Yeah. Are you going to get up in London a lot? Yeah. I'm going to go up there. Is it the same kind of, yeah, yeah, there's a little it's a little different. It's more like San Francisco. What's that mean? Their millennials are more activated than our millennials. I still don't know what that means. They get a little angry at dark stuff. So like I've been yelled at a few times to move on. Which I really love. I would say but you're like love friction. So like, and then like the late night shows, the late night shows here are the coolest shows. Like if you're on it one 30 a.m. on a Tuesday, the only people in the audience are very cool. Yeah. So you can make a joke about ketamine. You don't have to explain what ketamine is. They're all like, yeah, I don't do it anymore, but like I get, you know what I mean? So their late night vibes are like, are like super cool because people all drug addicts and like in the best way. But then the earlier shows are like, stop this. Really? This is wrong what you're saying. And you're like, I even got to the bad parts yet. So like here are sensibilities like we're just all cowboys to them, I think. Oh wow. Interesting. Yeah, the stand up there comes from theater, comes out of theater and here it comes to borrow a term, it comes from from the soil. From bars. Yeah, it comes from the ground up and there it comes from theater down. So they're all trying to do some version of theater and change it and just stand up where we just started around like campfire storytelling and that went up to stand up. That makes sense because fringe is there and it's very much like stand up is a, a light play. Yeah, and that also is like festival comedy, which is more elevated even. Yeah. Correct and saying they love a sound effect. Maybe. A long act out. They do love act outs. Yeah. French too. French are all act outs. A lot of boob boob. Yeah, Metzger goes, we were watching some French comedy at Montreal at the festival and he was like, well, he goes fucking French. It's like they blow up a giant balloon step inside of it and go, I'll level. I'll show. And then you're like, everyone claps and you're like, what the fuck is this? All right. All right. Hey, good job. I'll put in all your stuff and your tour dates once I put this out. Who knows when it'll be. I cool. Great. That's perfect. I'm for Alaska shit. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You'll be back by that. Hopefully you die up there. My bear attack. Oh, my God. Then I'll put this out like two years. I'll save it. Make it black and white. I'll save it, hella. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put my picture, my dead body picture up after the bear pussy. Okay. Yeah. Like, look at me. - Yeah, I'll turn up. All right. Well, that's the episode everybody. I hope you enjoyed it. Catherine, good job. Man, Alaska is the most wild place in the fucking world. Well, at least it's the most wild place in the United States. No offense to Hawaii or New Orleans. Or the homeless streets of San Francisco. Man, what I really want to go is those fucking islands. I forget what they're called. We covered in the episode. I heard that was just legitimately wild. Like, fishing villages that are like, speak more Russian than English. I'll have Russian accents in some level of Inuit and fucking all that jazz. Check out Catherine. It's Catherine Blanford on Instagram and YouTube. You can see everything she does there. She's got a special out called Cat the Cow Girl. It's available right now at Adrian Pongarilla. 500 Pongarilla. I forget. This is a cool cemetery. What was it gonna say? What was it called? The something with an A, all those islands. I mean, I talked to reporters who were like stranded who couldn't get there for like days at a time 'cause of weather. One flew halfway there and then had to turn back 'cause of weather. It's a wild, wild place. Thank you, Catherine. Make sure to check out her tour dates at, where she, check out all her shows on Catherine Blanford.com. Kansas City, San Antonio Houston, Dania Beach, Indianapolis, and Charlotte. And she's also got her podcast that she does with Shane Torres called Coastal Idiots. I have not been on there. Oh, how's that? Walking into the dark. Please subscribe wherever you're watching. Listen, guys, give it up one more time for your mom's house network for producing this podcast. effortlessly and great by Alan Caffee, produced by YMH. Next week, Jeff R. Curry is coming on the podcast to talk about cruise ships. What an interesting way to travel. I think one of my least favorite, cruise ship travel. Ooh, I'll walk through there. I've been to Alaska a few times and it rules. Man, the nature is crazy. The last time I went into the car to go up for a sunset somewhere. One of those tour cars and on the way, it's just a giant mousse block in the road. And man, the driver's like, what? I took a tour of a nature tour in Costa Rica. And the guy was like, do you ever get sick of showing off like sloths and monkeys? He's like, yeah, a little bit. I don't really care about him. But I really want to see. He's a deer. That's dark. This is darker. Okay, well that's it. I'm trying to think, ooh, listen to that echo. Whoa, can you hear the echo? Is that a real thing? Oh, I knew every once in a while I'd like to say something good about the world and I'll say, back rooms was fucking good. Eerie for the first hour. Johor Erie says like, yeah, first hour Eerie and then it got kind of like stupid. When they tried to explain the whole, like the whole lower of it and explain it all. So fair, fair, totally. But I still love that. I still got to see obsession. Maybe I'll see it this week. Horrors back guys, horror and comedy. Please speak your comedy. Get my, get my, oh, so I gotta look you Lou. Get my storytelling show. Okay, any one of those storytelling show episodes. Start with the shame ones. It's like Shane, Nate Bargazze's on there. Chris DeSteffan episode was really go with Ms. Pat and Jordan, and Jessica Reed. It's just like, you know, a love passion for me. To finish off my storytelling show, right? You might know it as this is not happening. It's now called the end because of contract stuff with a company that's out of business. Did you just get a settlement from comedy essentials? Well, class action lawsuit, I didn't know anything about. I don't even go to class. Let alone a class action. Anyway, Jeff R. Curry next week. Guys, if you know anybody you think should be on this podcast, please leave a comment and tell me who you think it should be. I'll reach out to those people, especially if you know anyone in the UK. Yeah, I'm gonna start doing a recommendation for the week at the end of these episodes. So this week, well, as always, it's Lily Allen, Lily Allen album, West Ham Girl, and then, yeah, this week, back rooms. Fucking solid, good movie. I heard they're doing a sequel. I will see that, and that jackass, man, I cannot wait. I was saying no spoilers, but what spoilers are there gonna be for jackass? It's just ridiculous. Talk to, to we men about it, and he was like, dude, it's us again. It's all us, and then I'm referring what he meant was, it's always supposed to have been us. We're the ones, he didn't say this, but I'm taking it as, fuck the new generation guys. They're fine, they're great, but it's our show. So I'm fucking stoked on that. The final jackass, I assume. Those guys are all gonna start dying soon of natural causes. There's also a VIP package of the end. You can get a limited edition poster. I think there's like 50 left. It's got everyone's picture on there, and I think as a comedy fan myself, one of the great things to do would be to get everyone to get on and sign that picture, take them to shows, and say I have the end poster, even Shane is like, this is gonna be a way to get to him, and say I need you to sign this poster 'cause I'm trying to get everyone's signature. And do it fast, 'cause again, a lot of those guys also are going to be dead soon. That's it, now let me show you what happens when you walk against the sun and how shitty it is. Look at this, all in shade. This is called bad shots. So when I shoot outside, it's not just finding a location, I've also got to find a location that's cool for the sun. You know, if I'm at one end of the park and it's like this, all this, yeah, I can't shoot like this. I can't do it interview like this. We got to stare directly in the sun. I don't think you guys give quite enough credit for what I'm doing here. Anyway, thank you, Captain Blanford, for coming in. Everybody watch your special, and that's it. I've got nothing to promote besides the end, legitimately nothing. I'll start touring again in probably January, probably the new year. I'm not sure if I'm gonna do Europe or the United States. It might be 'til 2028 where I'm back in the States. Oh, somebody found one of my stickers I put up. A UB-tripping sticker, which you can get right now at the bottom of the screen, or at rishafir.com. You can get tons of merch there. This is a vinyl of Jew, my, I guess my best special. Top two specials for me, in order. Top all my specials, I'll rank them all. Jew number one, I don't think anybody's gonna argue with that. America's sweetheart number two, my last one, that parrot. That's on Netflix right now, be on YouTube in January. And then maybe, maybe, revenge for the Holocaust, my first one. I did just see someone illegally uploaded on YouTube, but I'm not that mad at that. And then, don't upload anything. I do not keep a permission, but it does remind me. I actually probably put up a revenge for the Holocaust over there, then double negative. My first Netflix special, which got the most on Netflix, been the Heyday 2017 of Netflix. Look at this, look at the difference here. Full light, you can see me, now you cannot. Then double negative, then the one I did on chill.com, passive-aggressive. I think those are the order of them. Anyway, guys, thank you for tuning in. I'll see you next week with Jeff R. Curry, talking about cruise ships. That's actually a fucking really good episode. Oh, wow, look at that. Now, all of the sun in the shade, and it's cool again. So maybe I gotta tape in the shade. Yeah, this doesn't really matter at all, does it? Hmm, all right, guys, till next week. Hasta la vista. Do you know, "Ukviyagvik" took me forever to learn that. "Ukviyagvik", did I tell you a story about that? I bet I've told this before. I'll tell this, and then we'll go. So I was, oops, lucky Lou. I was in Anchorage on my way to "Ukviyagvik" for the Solstice, 24 hours of sunlight. The next solstice, the winter solstice, I was in the south tip of Argentina, actually, over the border into Chile at the southernmost town in the world. Who Shwaya is the southernmost city in the world? So I did those two solstice, and then this week, I was in London for the solstice. Sunset at 9/21 pm, where I was having a nice beer. You know there's no fucking good English beers. You'd think there'd be tons. Tenets, Scottish. Anyway, I was in Anchorage getting ready to go to "Ukviyagvik". And it was used to be called "Berro". And if you look on the map, it's "Berro". It's a northernmost city in the world. Or maybe the western hemisphere, I'm not sure. Town of about 5,000. How do they get the most city in a small town? And then the one in Chile, the Shwaya, the Argentinian is like, that doesn't count. It's not enough people. By the way, side note, big plans for Chile to fucking supplant, to make that city much bigger and supplant, can I get through here? And supplant Argentina with the southernmost city in the world, get all the cruise ships to go through there. You'll see it in the future. It's going to, one of those two things is going to happen. So anyway, I'm in Anchorage, and I'm telling somebody. I think I was buying weed. And I was telling somebody, hey, I'm going to legal be there. I'm going to head up to Ucabillac. I couldn't pronounce it. Ucabillac. Couldn't really pronounce it. And I was like, whatever, "Berro". Anyway, made a, I'm not going to use the W word anymore. But I'm going to say uptight. Some people get uptight about things. It's not always the W word. Sometimes it's like, you know, this is actually-- Actually from Canada, not America, that's not the W word. That's just uptight. Crowds sometimes get uptight. About whatever the producers are. Anyway, so I talked to an uptight person. She was like, it's Okviagvik, say it. You've got to say it right. I'm like, well, it's hard to fucking pronounce. It spelled Okviagvik. Anyway, so I went up there. I learned it, Okviagvik. Okviagvik, it was fucking great. Went to a whale hunting, successful whale hunting ceremony, a ceremony, shout out, Little Kupak crew. Successfully capturing and killing a whale and feeding the entire village. I got to get one of those little Kupak sweatshirts or T-shirts. Anyone from the Little Kupak crew? Kupakak? Send me a T-shirt, bro. I don't even think I can find them online. I would love one of those. Anyway, I took a tour. We're up at the top of the world hotel. And, guys, the brother of a lady running it was giving us a tour. And he goes, hi, welcome to this tour. This is Okviagvik. We're going to show you. They show me like the Ace Hardware, the little stores they had, what used to be a theater. Now it's a storage facility. Man, everything's-- all the tires are gone. 24 hours sound like it was weird. All the fucking kids are dirt biking at 3 a.m. It's a really fun, cool place. And the best kimchi I've ever had in my life. Damn, I wish I knew the name of that place. It's the Korean place. They have Korean and Chinese food. By far, the best kimchi. People come from far and wide to get the kimchi there. So he's telling us about all that. And he goes, you know, it's Okviagvik. Some people call it Barrow. Traditionally, it's Okviagvik. He goes, we all here-- and this is an indigenous guy. He goes, we all here call it Barrow. Because that's where we're raised. But you guys can say whatever you want. So you get this uptight white lady saying, angrily, you've got to say it right. And then you get the people from there going, I don't know what you're talking about. Did the same thing in my special double negative, where I mentioned the ladyboys, Thailand, people go, it's trans. Say it right. And I'm like, well, I'm taking a cue from them. And they call themselves ladyboys. So it's not quite the same thing. It's a little different. And we have an American sensibility of, like, we know it all. How dare you. I did a podcast. I'm my old, rest in peace, skeptic thing. What do you guys think? I put all those up on a Patreon for, you'd be tripping. Damn, the cemetery is beautiful. Not as beautiful as the one I recorded. My Guatemala episode from with Bobby Kelly. Or was it, no, sorry. It was one with Ethan McKenzie. We talked about Guatemala, Jesus. Yeah, that one was great in a town near, near Alec. Beautiful cemetery. Check out the bumpers for that. I think the front bumper anyway. Maybe the back bumper doesn't matter if you'll see it. And I did it like this, just kind of walking around. So the point is, I don't know, man. Chill out. Look at this. That's a cool shot. All right, guys. Until next week, I'll see you later. Next week, Jeffrey Curry, that's it. Please subscribe, guys. Leave a comment. Please help me out here every week. Just leave some comment about anything. Either who you'd like to see, which I definitely see. Or anything. Oh, I mentioned this. I should mention this. I meant to mention this earlier. World Cup is going on right now. By the way, I was in England. They deposed their leader. Leader resigned. That means that's four countries where they got a new leader or deposed one while I was there. Peru, Bolivia. Now, UK, there was another one. Maybe Argentina. Guatemala, I forget now what the last one was. World Cup is going on. I have been to 24 of the 48 countries that are doing it. If you want two free tickets to any of my shows in my next tour, 27 or 28, if you can name, you only get one try. You get two tries. Name them all. Name them all. And I'll give you two free tickets to a show. And next week or the week after, I'll also say the guy who found one of my stickers, one of my UB trippin' stickers that were hung up and posted in my-- actually, my favorite. Pasco en Guatemala. I heard I was on the world, really, but it's in Guatemala. He found it. I'll reach out and I'll give him the two free tickets. I fuck it for, because you don't even got it. If you want your own UB trippin' stickers, go ahead and get a six pack right now at rhesafere.com. They're not very much money. They're like 10 bucks, and you get six of them. And I'm going to make new stickers as well, bigger ones. Those are big enough for your passport, but yeah, I'll make all sorts. And get a Jew vinyl. Oh, that's what I meant to say. Rhesafere Jew on vinyl, double vinyl, deluxe with a beautiful portrait in the front, and I really spared no expense to make them. Signed them all. So if you want-- well, most of them, if you want, get a Simon right now, and have it added to your vinyl collection. That's it. I'm Rhesafere. Until next week. Bye, everybody.