Aj’a Yada: “He Preached One Thing and Lived Another” | Tiny Takeover

This is expeditiously, I am too, T.I.A. Uh-huh. Now, the following experience is not a test. The conversations and stories expressed on this podcast are meant to be an expression of purpose and truth. This show, properly entitled "expeditiously," is a free exchange of ideas and opinions. No judgment, no preconceived beliefs, no fear. You're encouraged to share your thoughts and ask any question as long as it's done with respect. And ask through true love and respect for others that we would change the world and speak truth to power, once you're at a time. Now, without further ado, this is "expeditiously." I'm T.I.A. Harris. What's up, it's your girl Tamika-Tiny Harris, and this is expeditiously. As you can see, I'm not T.I.A.P, but this is the tiny takeover. And of course, I am sitting here with my lovely co-host, the stand-up queen, Erica Duchess. Today, on expeditiously, we are welcoming a woman who has turned vision into an empire. She's an author, strategist, serial entrepreneur, and global investor, and wellness visionary who has built a multi-million-dollar legacy for her story goes far beyond business. She's a mother, a woman of faith, and a passionate advocate for holistic living and intentional wellness. And behind the success is a deeply personal story of resilience, like millions of women across America, Queen Asha has experienced domestic violence. In fact, the latest CDC data estimates that more than 43 million women in the US have experienced intimate partner violence, physical violence, sexual violence, and stalking during their lifetime. That means one of four women. After navigating deeply personal challenges while building her empire, Queen Asha is now focused on something even bigger, creating a legacy of impact. She's working towards launching a nonprofit dedicated to supporting women affected by domestic violence and helping them rebuild their lives. Today, we go beyond the empire, beyond the headlines, and beyond the stories people think they know. To meet the woman behind it all, please welcome Queen Asha to expeditiously. We want to thank you for coming on first. Before we get into everything, we just would love to know for you to tell us, tell the people who Queen Asha is. Yes. Thank you. First and foremost, I'm so honored to be here. I'll thank you. Thank you. I'm choosing this. Yes. A amongst beautiful energy. But yes, me, myself, Asha, I am a mom. I am a woman of faith. But essentially, overall, I'm a woman of resilience and vision. So that's why we're sitting here today, you know, about to get into some things. So again, thank you. Yes. Yes. Thank you. So I got to write them. My intro was good. Thank you. Well, you know, I guess, you know, we want to start from the beginning, you know, we would like to know like how you met and, you know, just how the relationship formed, how it started. Okay. Yes. I met, I met Yada at the age of 23. Okay. So I was fresh out of massage school. So I went to school for massage essentially because I had just had my first born baby. And I knew I wanted to do my own thing. I've always been a hustler. I would have been hustling since the age of five and selling stickers. So I was like, I don't want to work a regular job. So I ended up meeting him through just spying on his social media. And I really resonated with his message. And that's how we kind of connected because he was, he already had someone of a presence. So I reached out to him and we connected and moved forward. I love that. Okay. Okay. So you said you made him do social media. Yes. So I seen his, I seen his social media through Facebook. And back then he was speaking a lot about health, but also still relationships. So a lot of people think he's just started talking about relationships, but he was talking about relationships 10 years ago, years ago. So from that, you know, I found his website. I booked a consultation because I wanted to get a better understanding of myself. I feel like I was on a journey. Yeah. Of self-accualization. And so that's when I reached out to him and we connected from the consultation and then things kind of progressed from there. So you basically got interested in the things that he was saying pretty much, you know, I guess selling to the people about, you know, just being a great person and, you know, live in a certain type of life, right? Correct. So whether that was in the regards to like health or wealth or whatever it was or being a man, he he pretty much covered all bases. Okay. So what did you love about him in the beginning? So I have, it's multi-layered, but I think it really was just his message was very strong. And I believe that I was in a very sensitive area, you know, I had just got out of a toxic relationship myself, but it was more so due to financial provision. And that's not having seen eye to eye. So I remember when I came across one of his videos and I was like, I know I'm not crazy. This is all I'm asking for. I know I'm not asking for too much. And so he kind of confirmed what I felt like I knew I did deserve. And that's what really was like, he's on to something. So that way, so I'm trying to get, okay, I'm trying to just get into it, like trying to visualize it. So you seen him online, then he was liking all the things that he was saying about what health and all this other stuff and his message, you know, women and relationships and stuff like that. How did what made you like be like, I want to get with him like. So essentially it was never that. It was all bigger than like I have an attraction to him. So I lost my mom when I was 12 years old to cancer. And when I saw a video, nothing. A blessing disguise because I've learned so much on that journey and itself, but he did a video. A lot of videos on how to cure cancer, cancer naturally. And so when I connected with him through our first consultation, I told him that, you know, I, I want to do everything that you're doing because I wanted to be a natural, perfect doctor essentially in the beginning, you know, I wanted to help people because I felt like because I wasn't able to do it for my mom. I wanted to channel that energy through helping other people. So it wasn't like, oh, I want to be with him. It was more like I see your mission. I want to be a part of that mission. Yeah. So how I don't know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. How long, you know, where you are around that you actually saw before I guess, you know, the relationships started that you were around to see like the kind of person that he was and you know, what made you feel comfortable to feel like this is a relationship that I need want to get. I would say it was it went very fast. I think I was very young again was 23 and he hosted a free student detox retreat. So I went out to Ecuador and that's where we connected and it was other, you know, students as well. But at the time when I met him, they were already fasting in a separate part of the land. And so me and him had connected like one on one. And I really just, I let him take the lead. So he definitely showed me that he was taking interest to me. But my goal was not I'm coming out here to be your wife. I was just coming out there to become better. I had already got out of a toxic relationship. So I was just allowing him to lead per se, you know, and it just that's what we got led to. Because because when you made him he was already and like in other relationships already though, wasn't it? So he was it was similar to my situation. He was leaving a toxic relationship as well. And I was leaving a toxic relationship as well. So I didn't know like a lot of details on it initially. It was very kind of like vague. But I didn't know that there was a relationship that he was leaving. He was saying that, you know, he had outgrown and I was relating to him on that level. So when he says, when you say toxic relationship that he left, I'm just wondering was he the reason why it was toxic, you know, like did you know, did you find out anything out there? You know, I guess experiencing what you experienced with him. Did you find out that later that maybe he was the problem in the last relationship that you, I guess when you met him, like just, you know, hearing toxic relationship. And you know, I guess hearing what you have said he literally did just seems like he could have been the problem the whole time. Well, you know, that's funny because I did resonate, you know, it reflects on that that was a possibility. And I think initially when me and him first connected and I knew that the relationship with toxic, it kind of was deflected on some more that it was she was the problem. And the reason why I felt like, well, maybe I can see that is because when she kind of when she found out the previous partner found out that, you know, I guess he was moving on whatever she was sending death threats to me and my daughter. I will do this to your daughter. And so I was like, oh, yes, she might be a little grace, she might be. So the story that I was kind of told at that, you know, young age was like, yeah, this is just a problem because I had witnessed some of my own interactions being very, I would just say off the wall. I was like, maybe he got a point. So then eventually with time, of course, yeah, I did start seeing patterns or behaviors that was questionable. But initially, I was not, I was not aware. But you didn't even you didn't even know nothing about the previous, you just going off everything that he told you pretty much. Yes, not knowing that he already got like, what's that word? and like the power. that like the polygonsmith stuff going on. - Yeah, I think what she was saying, 'cause we kinda like, you know, when you research, you know, we think it's gonna be bread that there was a polygonsmith relationship. And, you know, we don't wanna, you know, we know that she can't believe everything you read, but we would like to, you know, I guess, let you elaborate on that a little bit more, so you can tell us, you know, if you wanna speak on that. - Yeah, no problem. - Oh, what's the, in a polygonsmith relationship, part of twos, what you're asking, part of you and then you came along? - No, no, it did not work like that. No, so she, there was definitely just a monogamous relationship between them. I think he might have did his own thing here and there when like, you know, they don't work out for a little bit, you go out, try to do your own thing, you come back, you know, but I was not part of that dynamic. So, how the world seen it and how I saw it, and we seen it was that I was technically, like the first woman that he had married outside of, you know, the second wife that came, that I was participating with choosing. So, it wasn't another wife prior to me. - Oh, okay, yes. - Okay, well, let's dig deeper into that. So, after you came alone, you guys chose another wife? - Yes. - Okay, so that may be where we hear the polygonsmith thing, I don't know. But, you know, now that you're, you know, straightening it out, basically giving us the full detail. So, you were pretty much the first wife. - Yes. - And then you guys decided to pick someone else. Okay, choosing. How did that relationship work out? - Initially, it was good. I don't feel like, you know, I don't have anything bad to say about her. I think that it was a business, you know, I'm a business woman and I would honestly, you know, have practiced polygamy prior to that. I've never been like, you know, some people think like, I'm so crazy for participating and stuff like that. But, if it makes sense and it can, you know, tackle the vision, I'm like, okay, let's do it. Plus, I appreciate and understand the feminine energy and what we bring to the table when we can collaborate and remove insecurities and things like that. So, initially it was good. I would say it was good. I felt like, you know, she was a good person. - So, it basically was, you were okay with it. Like, it was part of your decision as well to do the polygamous. - Yes. - Be a polygamous. - Yes. - 'Cause you said you did this before. - Yes. - Before him. - Yes, I heard it. - Yes, I heard it. - Okay. - Yes. - Oh, okay. - Yeah. So, some people think like, some people think I was brainwashed into it, but it's like, no. Like I said, I appreciate the feminine energy. I know what we could do when we bring our minds together. It was never like, you know, oh, he's forced her to do this now. It was never that. - So, you always been on this. Like, you've never been, you've always been in a, like a polygamous relationship. - Well, I wasn't in a serious polygamous relationship 'cause my job met him at 23. So, it's only so much I could do. - That's what I was saying. - That's what I had been. - But, did I explore the idea of polygamy with my partner prior to my child's father? Yes, I did. But it was just like, it was given, you wanna stay at home, make beats while the women go work. I was like, that's not the dynamic that I'm signing up for. - Okay. - This is not no pimps. - You know what I'm saying? - That's right. - So, I opted out of that and I had to move on. For several reasons outside of that. But that included-- - Yeah, that, okay. Okay, okay, okay. - Well, yeah, well never mind. (laughing) - Well, you know, I guess, you know, happened into it. There has been a very serious difference between the images that we see on social media versus what's going on in your personal life. You know what I'm saying behind closed doors. - Can you tell us like, you know, what the difference is and what we see and what really happening behind closed doors? - Okay, so what I would say first and foremost, that I really have to just clear the air is that I 100% stand behind his message as far as I'm in, post a provide. And I just provide, 'cause we all say some good stuff. - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. - Providing mentally, emotionally, and things like that. And what I would say is, and I would just be so transparent and honest, and they might tear me up on the internet about this, but had he continued to actually fight for the family and the relationship, I might still have been with him. It came to a point when I realized he was no longer fighting. It was like, okay, you're comfortable being that person. I can't deal with that no more. Like, I'm not dealing with that. And so when I saw his ego literally took over, I had to step away because it was like, I've tried and exhausted all of my options with helping you and I can just no longer participate. So, was he a provider? Yes, he was a great provider. I could call him at two o'clock in the morning and say, I'm hungry, he's gonna get up out the bed and he's gonna make me some food. I can, you know, need my shoes fixed and he'll just get down in the middle of the store and fix my shoe. Like, I'm not gonna sit here and just smear him like he was a terrible person. Did he have demons? Yes, did he fight them enough to the point where, you know, he was able to save the relationship? Unfortunately no. So, he said he wasn't fighting for the relationship. So, what kind of person was he outside of his messages that he gives? I mean, I know that's, you know, you believe in this message and I see that you're saying that he has, you know, he has some great qualities as a man, you know. But what were some of the things that, I mean, like, what are some of the things that we don't know that he is as a man as well? Like, what are some of the qualities that has you here today? Right. So, one of the things I think that a lot of, and I'm gonna speak to just men that come from a certain background, certain life, you know, where there's the streets or what have you, there is a certain way where I believe that subconsciously, they always believe even if they really love a woman, you can't trust a woman. And that comes with also testing the woman, you know, mind games and things like that. And I believe that, you know, while I did meet him while I was very young, I'm still very intelligent. And I was able to observe and just gained a lot of wisdom, like, okay, something's not right about this. Like, I'm not supposed to be feeling this way. So, I feel like at his core, there's still some things that is still lingering when it comes to the person he was prior to becoming Yada. And, you know, outside of like the mind games and things like that, he, it's such a complex situation because I feel like, you know, it's like watching someone, like fight for their life. And so I'm watching him fighting for his life as far as just being able to control his temperament, being able to listen better, being able to not get so offended, you know, when someone's giving criticism. These are things that I see him work on with time because I kept being a mirror for him. And everyone around him could say, you're like, wow, he's changed so much, but then it was certain things like the violence, for example, in the beginning, it was so much going on just between, you know, him separating from his relationship, me separating from eyes, a lot of, you know, legal issues and things like that. Criminal accusations, all that type of stuff. So it was like me watching him battle, that battle while helping him battle. I always thought in my mind, well, once we get past this season, I'll get the yada that is able to regulate his emotions, no matter what the circumstance is and things like that. So then once we got past those things, then it became another problem where it was like, I'm stressed because of this. I'm stressed because of that. And it was like, well, is there going to be a point where you just stop stressing? Because now it's like every time I think we're done with this chapter, it's like you're finding another reason to still have these outbursts. So when you say, when he was like fighting for, fighting for himself, right? So this person that go on Instagram, you know what I'm saying, was social media period and he's talking this and talking that, which his messages was great and excellent, which I do believe a lot of stuff that he was saying about, you know, taking care of your woman, providing for your woman, like, was it like fake though? Like to you, like, 'cause you in a house with him, do you think he was just expressing the person that he wanted to be? But deep down, he's really not that person at home. So, so that's what I'm saying. I would say, like, and I'm just like I said, I'm gonna just be honest with you all. I would say that I see him fight his ego a lot of times. You know what I'm saying? Like I could say something and he'd like, you know what? I'm just walk out the room, but it was a fight. Like you could see him literally fighting himself in real time. It wasn't always that calm, cool, and collective either. But essentially, I started seeing him, like, instead of him, maybe slamming something or breaking something, it's like, you know what? I was just gonna walk out the room, like, I really feel like it was something more so mentally, you know? Then just, I'm just being an evil person or abusive person because I want to be, you know? Because he's seen that growing up. He's seen his, you know, that in his childhood. And then, fortunately, you know, sometimes man either lean into it and be in the replicate in behaviors that they see or if they go with the opposite way. And it was that push and pull that I seen with him. So how long y'all was married? Eight years? Oh yeah. Eight years. So from 23 to now. To now. Oh. So how long, I mean, I just want to know, did the, was the abuse like from the beginning of the relationship because I know you say he was battling with the, with the last relationship. So you kind of felt like it would, you know, deescalator, you know, it will change. So I just want to know like did he was he's abusive kind of like from the beginning like you know guys can have like a sweet and sour you know spot you know I'm saying so one day that's just so sweet and loving and they're you know caring and they're you know doing all the things that a man should do and then the next day they just flip so you know it could be or I just want to know like was it like a time that he's he just started changing or was he kind of like always like this and but he was like in and out so you felt like he could get better yeah it would definitely I would say was in and out so it didn't take forever for it to start like popping his hair showing his head as far as the abuse of nature and I'm not just saying physically it could be mentally and emotionally but it was the coming back and like crying on my lap like babe I'm so sorry you know I'm just I'm going through so much and excuse me at that time where it started you know I had just had my first born son with him and I was going through my own court stuff with you know as far as custody and stuff of my daughter and so I honestly felt like you know I needed to as much as I could be stay grounded as possible and work through it with him but if I felt like one of the reasons why I know a lot of people was like why did she say so long because I felt like well it's happening in it's happening less but in longer spans so in while it might have been more frequent then it was like well now it's not till like maybe every two years or versus you know every three months so I was like in my head I was like well he's like it's getting better you know it's not happening as often so yeah so did you find yourself like protecting his image a little bit a whole lot of it a whole lot of it because I honestly thought like you know and let giving you guys background about me my mother I was her only child she was schizophrenic so I grew up in a household where it's emotionally volatile and you don't know what type of mama mama gonna be today so I feel like what might have been very abnormal to someone else where it's like that's a lot to deal with subconsciously I was programmed for it and so whether those type of storm it was kind of normal to you yes like his behavior issues and all that kind of stuff so did you have a feel some kind of way like watching him do these videos that's so like oh I love my queen she just mad she doesn't never have to work and then knowing what you're going through at home emotionally physically did you ever feel like you know slighted or just feel like you know you want to say something or tell the world about I mean you are here today but like you know just before you decided to speak up and just come out and because I'm sure you know maybe you didn't want to tarnish his image or whatever you know like how did you feel just watching him do these videos over and over selling us all drinks you know we're thinking like you know this is a perfect man a hell of a man you know you're saying and I'm still not trying to take anything from you because I'm sure he has great colleges somewhere but how did you just be a watching that and just knowing that he's putting this out in the atmosphere but yet you guys are having so much so much trauma and problems at home excuse me before you speak because I seen this one video okay and he was talking about how you have kids in home and you're not supposed to treat your woman a certain way and you know your kids you know basically you know your kids see it and it affects the kids in the home and you know all of this stuff and it's just like I know you guys have five kids and I know there's some kind of abuse going on you know different times so when I see that and then to know you know your story is kind of like hey like you a hypocrite in such in a way because you're selling us you're telling us like you are supposed to be a certain kind of way you should never do this in front of your kids and have a home where you know the man is being violent or you know just aggressive talking to the woman in a certain kind of way and here he is doing the same thing that he's preaching to us about not doing so to answer your question you know it really depended on what season I believe the relationship was in so there were times where I felt like we were really really good and I might see someone my inbox you know and say something nasty about you know the allegations from the previous relationship that he had and I was able to kind of tune it out because I was like well that's not my world right at least right now now then when it would switch and I was in a more fragile state because you know something might have just transpired yeah it would affect me and make especially this last go round oh my god it was terrible because I felt like everything he was saying I'm like are you listening to what you're saying like are you really listening are are you picking with me at this point like I feel like you're picking with me because you're posting stuff that's like completely contradicting what you're talking about right so I think just what more time it did my patience got thinner my grace got thinner you know it started yeah because you sent it out watching it because that's why we're going to ask because you know I got to be like look devil advocate a little bit because you know I've been looking at other people opinions or what they have on your life right or what not because a lot of me for some reason a lot of men is just mad at you a lot of men not even the women like a lot of men they were like oh she kept her she said that she watched him he she knew he was a fraud and so you know blah blah blah blah but listening to you now that's why you just not you know listen to you you just know you don't know well woman where you was at like you didn't with it yeah emotionally because you like you looking at the video you like me you live right like that and a lot of men that speak on that him and I'm not trying to be like funny or kind of sending but they weren't in his tax bracket so men and women that have spoke on my situation they don't understand that you're not dealing with average Joe at Walmart and you could just pack yourself up and leave come on now it don't work like that yeah you know I'm saying you dealing with a man of power yeah you know a man that can make a phone call so it's like you guys got to understand wow y'all might can leave in two days I might have to plan for two years hmm come on yeah that's that's true yeah I mean since you since you're spoken that I would love to know like how is it how did you get away how did you when you decided like this is it for me I want to leave like you know and I'm knowing you're in abusive relationship is hard sometimes to get away especially when you have a man of power you know what I'm saying it's you know they have so many doors that they can just you know I'm saying get through you know so how did you finally get away from this situation did decide you know I'm being I'm walking out of this situation and not being harassed or found or what is it like what is the living arrangements with that now um well you know I I'm protected me and my babies you know my location and stuff is disclosed okay um I waited until he moved not moved it temporarily went to Africa um so I had enough time to do what I need to do um um and you know I just I was still in a battle about it but I I had to talk to the to the law enforcement like I had to draw certain lines within myself to say I'm doing this because this is a this is a reflection of my boundary now because just keeping quiet right yeah is like again it's still protecting him yes yes he was so once you start speaking up and speaking out about it it's like you're breaking out of almost a mental bondage so even like the last situation um that you know happened in April so that was my last situation with him which one was that it was a physical altercation with yes with the black guy um I usually don't call the cops I call the cops I usually don't go to my parents house after I went to my parents house after yeah I want to ask you like yeah like you know usually I'm like let me just fine hotel and I'm like no I'm not doing that I got five kids I just had a baby I'm still bleeding from the birth you know I'm eight weeks postpartum I'm no I'm no I'm not and however whatever comes with it comes with it but you know even like when I initially caught the the law enforcement I did not disclose then what happened I still was still in that protective I don't really went you know yeah as a black woman you know especially being raised how I was raised in the south it was always always saw what happens in the house stays in the house and once you got a police it's over yeah yeah it's over it's over my end got a police on me I knew I wasn't going back that's exactly that so there were a lot of things that I just felt like I had to do to spiritually sever the connection and um you know speaking out and even doing what I'm doing now like I don't care about what anybody else has to say about why I stayed or how long I say I I tell myself all the time the biggest And I won't call it shame, but the most vulnerable I have had to be and was looking my own children's face with that eye, and then ask me, yeah, mommy, what happened to your eye? So I don't care what the internet is talking about. I face my truth and my pain right there in that moment. So, you know, what I'm doing and how I'm doing is bigger than just, you know, the talk, the talk. Yeah, it's a protection for me, you know, and also helping women get out of the situations as well. Yeah, that's a big part of it. Women, you know, it helps women around. That's going through the same thing you was going through. And they can't find a way getting out of situations because, you know, I'm sure that it's very hard sometimes for different reasons, for different people. What did you tell yourself during these moments that made you stay though? Like what made Wizard for the Kids? Was it just love? What's eight years a long time? It's definitely I would say was a whole lot of love. I love so hard. I don't know if it's a cancer thing. I love hard too, but we are crazy. We love it. We love it. But we love hard. But we love it. So we got that natural nurturing, you know, like sometimes I would look at him and I would literally tell him like if I could just pick you up and rock you like a baby. Because that's what you need right now. Like, whoever raised you, you get the proper love. Like, you know, I really felt like maybe I could love him into being the man that you want him to be. And that I thought he wanted to be, you know, and so that's what I felt like the huge most biggest part was was, you know, me just loving him. Of course, my kids love him too. And, you know, that's just something I have to kind of deal with with the separation of missing him and stuff like that. But like I said, there were certain things that I saw that I was like, you know, I know I'm here for my children, but are you really there for our children? You know, so it was just so multi layer. Like I could talk about it forever, but essentially it was yes, the love that I felt like I have for him. So get it, get it. Like how did it affect your confidence in you sense of who you are? I feel like the videos that he was producing, it really did a disservice to him because I felt like I was more so like, yeah, you right, I should be treated like that. You know, I'm saying it's like you can't say it and now I'm going to make you live by it. So it almost pushed me more into being like, you not slow. Like you can't act like you don't know. I hear you giving when I say you not slow, I'm saying this in my mind about him. But I hear I'm not like you're not slow. Like you obviously know what you're doing, what you're supposed to do, what you're not supposed to do because you're preaching. Because he's saying it. That's what I'm going to say. Like I give my woman $250,000. So was that true? Was that true? Yes, it is. Because I thought it was kind of because I know you had like a gold farming thing. Well, not like, well, if you were getting up to 50, she'd be in eight years. I'm like, Calglass, you're a meal in the game. So what was the gold farming for? The gold farming was simply because people were in the inbox and in my comments saying, start a gold farming. And essentially, I was going to match which I still am every dollar. So whatever dollar someone put in there, my plan is to match that dollar. And I just wanted to always feel like it's a blessing to be a blessing. And I wanted to open the door for people to be able to be a blessing. Oh, you're trying to guess what I always. Yes. Because the truth is, you're not financially strapped. You're stable, right? Yes. Yes. Very well. Very well. So a lot of people don't know as, you know, the company, the health and wellness company. I'm 100% owner of that company. Yes. Somebody here's his company. No, my company that he was the. But he was saying that was. Yes. But your name on it. Yes. You smile, you said it too. Why are you smile? Where is the $1,000, right? And those were my millions of dollars. Okay. I'm glad that I didn't say, glad that. Yes. Yes. Well, I mean, you know, I just know that, you know, watching him preach this to the choir and he's not practicing anything that he's not practicing. Anything that he's preaching, you know, could be disturbing for me as a woman. I would be like, man, you kill. I got to tell everybody. So, but you know, I understand it. Your husband and your children's father. So you want to protect that at the same time. You have to figure out when you're going to put yourself first. Right. Yeah. Because I mean, I mean, I seen them on Instagram and stuff like that, but I've never really liked just following him and be honest. Not me because, you know, some. But in the time I just, with a man, it's just always like this like this. Like this and tell me everything. I just look at them funny. This is me with my situation. What I'm trying to say is like, how can I say this in the good? No, no, no, I'm just trying to say like with him. You didn't see the cap in them at all. Like like, or I'm trying to say like, it's for like with the contradiction when I said cap, cap in them. But sometimes it was women because I know he had like the Apple Apple Eve stuff. Yes, a product Apple. Right. All that kind of stuff. And then some people start complaining like it don't worry. Just some vehicle. Whatever they were saying. What is the product of Apple Eve? Apple Eve. So if you go on our website, you know, a lot of people have so many positive reviews about it. I take that a lot of people have. Yes. And so of course, you know, it's to each is on it. You're going to have some. It's just about about everybody. Everybody is different. Some people buy the Apple Eve and think they can still go to KFC and buy a box of church. You know, chicken or whatever you're thinking that it's going to still work the same. So I think that depends on just, you know, it's case by case. But as far as like what you were saying is him being cap in regards to the other. Yeah, what I'm saying like a lot of like country did the thing that he was saying, do you think? Because I know like with my mind, but like when my man, my man got a little little scam going on be down my man with whatever, you know what I'm saying? Something old left me on be like, didn't your phone for your phone? He didn't use it. I was trying to see what like is that like the situation because there was a lot of stuff that he was doing like I. But now listen to you saying he was just hoping that the person that he's speaking that he in the comma saying speaking about you was praying that he get to that person. Right. So that's why I was like, oh, you part of the kelp. But really you wasn't but not like well, but not like that. And in a way that you know on the edges saying this stuff to get to get women because when I see people do stuff like that and they always talk about if you see a man, he always just congratulate. I ain't going to say that. I ain't going to say that because everybody out like that. What I'm trying to say is every time I see people like that like a dare J. It'd be an audience to attract women. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, it be an audience to attract women. They want women to to look at them and true. Cause you know how women we see him doing it. Like maybe you can do it for me. So they're all like you didn't ever see it like that because that's me. But then I'm a little older than you too. So yeah, I'll be peeping the kelp off the real. But you never did. Did you ever see that though? And I'm like, like, you're trying to get some women. Like you're just trying to do that for the whole like, like, like, gosh, I got you. Um, I feel like I can say I feel like it's really hard to describe our dynamic because it was like the women were of course the number one supporters. Um, but I do feel like it like I said, I felt like it's illegal to go over at some point. Where it was like you rather continue to show up to be like this perfect man or the perfect father. Like for example, he posted my daughter on her birthday. Me and him was not talking though. He posted her on Instagram, but then I call my baby. Um, then he didn't call it. Maybe the call to her happy birthday, but he posted her. So that that was like, like, when I say towards the end of relationship. And what happened was my prayer changed. So initially, my prayer was God, please make us work, but God, please keep the family together. But God, please, you know, give me the strength, give him the strength. Eventually, my prayer became God, take off the mask so I could see what's what's really going on. And when I started praying that prayer, all types of masks, all types of things just started showing from my face. God, God will, God will show it to you. That's what that's what I was saying. Like, at first, when I was first, I was telling like I was telling a teen, I was like, what in the world are all the people that I know why was she just asked me to be here. And I have to ask God, what is my purpose here? What, what do you want me to say? You know what I'm saying in a situation like this. So he, first of all, first thing he said to me, they came to me with like judge not. So I'm like judging nobody or your situation like that because it could have been me. So that's why when you say you were 23, when you met him, I don't know where you will spiritually either. Because I, I had a marriage, right? And what he tried to do was like spiritually manipulate me. Because that, that's a thing, which I, that's I know God just be speaking to me because I never even thought of something like that. But they can spiritually manipulate you, right? Because that's what he was trying to give me to do. Like he wanted to start a ministry, right? Right, now that's okay. I get the women you get the mean he like now I'm get the women like what you want to women like that So but I know they do some things to get that attract that attention from women You know, so that's why I applaud you because you were like well. I just start praying So I'm saying okay, she more spiritually inclined than I thought then I thought she was Cuz that cuz sometimes we can get caught up in that because we don't have a relationship with God Yes, and if I didn't have a relationship with God, I could have been Some like like somewhere in a situation as for like a Like like the man to let him lead and we know he doing wrong You know what I'm saying, but when he starts trying to put the Bible scripture to justify his wrong, right? You know sound like on nigga now I gotta go right this ain't what God meant when he's there So but you it's for you to be young and stuff like that I think you I think you did right because a lot of women don't know how to get up and go That's right, but Did you find yourself you like creating these? I guess these moments or videos like you know Participating in what he was selling like where you apart the where you're part of that Did you and if you were did you believe it believe in the message you were putting out like you know like? Cuz you know really what's going on? I know and at the end of the day, you know He had this goodness in him too, so like how do you how did you feel like cuz I see in one video where you you didn't say anything Mm-hmm, but you were in the video you were just looking cute and you was looking, you know sitting on his lap And he was talking about all this good stuff like you know, so how is it being a part of that you know? You know, I guess just going through the his who he is his ego and fighting that you know And then you have to still make these videos and look happy and you know smile and be the Beautiful wife that you are, right So I would say that um A lot of so first he would not record me if like I think some people are like Manufacturing what it looked like to them or what it could look like to them what my life was so I think sometimes People would be like oh she was getting her hair some some washer and dryer What's the saying called and not between the washer and dry? I think that so I think in their mind They think that I was waking up and just getting my head beat in every day and it was like it was not that guys like And I don't even want to come on here and make it seem like oh, she's protecting him or is she still in love with him or whatever I'm just telling y'all the truth my life was I wake up we laugh we smile we make money together We dance with the children we cook, you know, I sell him. I went something. He go get it. It was like But it was so weird because I could almost feel you know like when Episode was about to come so like his energy would start to shift what what made him angry though it yeah So I feel like it was what he was telling me was stress of Providing on a level. He's never provided for Happened to be a father. He's never seen before happen to be a husband. He's never seen before you know He this is what he articulated to me So it was almost like he was making it seem as though he you know was learning day by day and The bills was extra look at you know you when you get into the multi-millions your bills get up there too, so it was like He painted as almost like he has a fear of losing everything if he don't do Things the right way or the way it's supposed to get done or this is the story. He was paying to me What's that the truth? I don't know so that would make him just want to fight you or he true It was like it was like I well intuitively I really feel like He He needed he needs some psychiatric help like I think it was deeper than what And I he'd he would fast he would go on fast where he would not eat food and he would just pray and this is what I'm saying People just say oh she'll just get beat up every day. It's like no, how do you you know say this is a evil man When you see him literally like in my eyes, I'm thinking he's fighting, you know, he's not he's detoxing He's not on social media. You know, he's trying to talk to his mom about the abuse that he went through as a child He went and reached out to his father You know that bed him, you know, and he didn't meet till he was 30 so it was like I see him I'm like okay, he's doing the work each or just trying to do the work And it was like I just feel like it was never really enough and then when I started recommending things to him like for example Academy is FDA approved anesthesia, but it helps you rewire how you react to stress What is it like a side appeal? You can take it either or different forms. Yes, in different forms. What is called? It's called ketamine Yeah, but they got the good version out there. They got like you know They says it's supposed to help in different help different things. Yes, I know Elon Musk I mean, I don't know if I can say this but he said he takes it every day Yeah, so you some people They live by you know, nice. It is a form of a drug, you know Some people take it for other means. Yeah, put me down. I mean don't put me down, but I mean Don't put me down what I'll just say I never know so when you recommend things you get angry No, so it would be like I'll do whatever I have to do for my family, but it was like He was starting that finish So it's like okay, you're saying you want to do it, you know, but at some point it's like I can't continue to carry the weight of The business the family the babies and your trauma like you should be calling everybody every therapist You know every figuring out I don't care if you go to Asia and sit out there with the Buddhist monks You need to figure it out, but I felt like at some point through his actions. He was comfortable Yeah, I got too comfortable. Got too comfortable. Mm-hmm. You did too and somewhat Well, you got you probably just you know, I don't know like I like like I mentioned earlier It wasn't a situation of like, you know, I'm just here because As some people think you know, it was the finances or whatever the case might be like I've In situations where I've left this not the first time I've left I've sold porches. I've sold diamonds like I've let him know this material stuff don't mean nothing to me from my piece But then it would be like well, baby. This is what I'm gonna do and you know the children and that other night I would get this good like thick Story and actions temporarily, and it's like, okay. Well, maybe he's changing it You know, and I would come back so the comtability I feel like more so came in just The cycle of it When I yes the cycle of it where it was like, you know, and I had to start studying this stuff myself when it comes to Women and when they go through withdrawal from being with a person because initially and I know a lot of women Could probably attest to this as well when you leave a toxic relationship or any relationship It feels like your heart is literally being ripped out your body. It's like so we translate it as this must be my person But in actuality there's a lot of different hormones that's being released during it. It's like it's being released during that time In relationship and then you go through withdrawal as soon as you cut it off. So the dope means not there no more The octetosis not there no more that journaling the cortisol. So you're literally feel like this system Yes, I'm so tired all of that stuff. You're going to all that at once So I had to really start studying myself to really get out of this situation bigger than just Oh, I don't deserve this no more because it's like that's the easy part to realize that but how are you gonna weather through the storm? You know, I mean, you know, and it can be painful You know going through a breakup when you you love somebody so deeply and you have so many different ties and stuff but ties and stuff but when you You know when you decide to put yourself first, you know and your peace because You know just in my prior relationships when I decided to leave and you know fight for my For myself and what I felt like was right for me. I know my peace was so it was so valuable and I learned that lesson by When once I left and once I found that piece you know I'm saying so it takes a it takes a lot, you know sometimes for you to just take that leaf You know that leap and just so who you tell who you tell I know all about that. So it wasn't more good than bad. I'm more bad than good It's funny. You said it and see he used to say our relationship is 95% good It's only 5% bad, but if the 5% bad I used to tell him this as a rebuttal Can't end up in life or death type situation. It's not worth it. Yeah. Yeah. It's not worth it You ever get you ever feed yourself like blame yourself for what was happening like you feel like you were at the college You were the problem. No anytime. No, you know, do you take any kind of accountability for daddy got this for? Of course, of course, I take accountability because in the end of the day, you know I like I one of the things I had to sit with myself about was I have daughters, you know, I have yeah sons and I had to tell myself Whatever path you go you just gonna be some grievance behind it. You gonna grieve rather you stay you gonna grieve Whether you leave but when your children sit across from you and they say mama This is how I felt about my childhood. What would you prefer them to say out their mouth that hey mama I saw You kept going back and you know things didn't get better and now I'm trying to figure out why I keep going back To talk to a relationship or my mama. I know you loved him. We saw you fight But you eventually chose yourself and you know we appreciate that so I take accountability in a sense that you know I could have left a long time ago, you know, honestly. I had many different reasons to leave but For whatever reason God had me on you know a path and the more that I went through it the closer I got to God Because it was a point of time where I had to start worrying about how much power he got God got more power than that. So you know clock that so it was like I had to just keep reminding myself God is on your side God is not gonna you know For sake you or abandon you and that takes a lot especially when you are being educated from a man on spirituality You know saying so you're looking at him more than just oh, this is my husband you looking at him as a father figure a spiritual leader You know your homie, you know, it's like so it's like you're ripping 20 different connections Not just one man, but you know he's serving different purposes in your life Yeah, when that when that relationship with God get deeper. Yeah, you look at life and everybody different. Yeah I open through good men my baby day you fight all the time good all all the time and I love the mirror I love the mirror right so you know doing this time. I think I was like in my 20s my 30s I'm searching for God. I'm learning about God. I don't read about God every day right and one day I'm just I'm I'm a whole new person within myself right and I'm in the mirror. You like I'm gonna go out Fuck you. I said nigga. You know what you do. I mean, I'm in my mouth. I don't give them what you'd go on up with them Oh, I said nigga. I said nigga. I got good. And you like when I said God. It like you like what you say I Said God on of the nigga that I said no or what But the thing is his hand went down. So I'm like man, I should have been called I should have been called on you God like even we move in I said I said nigga. I knew I got gone. The nigga said what? I said God. I said, oh you want that? The key boy I look at him totally different so that's the key. Now I thought you gonna be like To me and I just didn't know you would this spiritually connect it But I'm glad. I love it. I love it. And it look good on you too. Thank you. I'll talk with your beautiful things So that's a good thing because a lot of us we so we don't know And the Bible said we gonna perish because of lack of knowledge But when you don't know that's when you be easily influenced You know that so to all the women please get closer to God. Yeah, like Just to get you to I can't explain it but it do like over your mind you see life Once you start looking at things and the spiritual realm. Yeah, it's like everybody just look like a lane Because I know how you look at him now You know, I feel like I look at him as Someone that needs to like I just gave him back to God like this is no longer My my burden to carry, you know, I'm giving you back to God I still pray that God you know to because in the end of the day, that's the part of my children They're going to be affected by his actions whether he realizes it or not So it's no hate or anything But he's just a child of God that is broken and he's healing. That's how I look at it But there has to be a sense of peace for you to have have grown to that point You know to where you can just, you know Love him from afar and and know that you got to love yourself more and put your kids first and you know Sam walking that light Just great, but I you know, I want to get to some positive things Absolutely, you know out of here because we've been getting all into all your business And um, I mean what before I go there is he he's an African now No, oh no, so he's back in the man. Mm-hmm. Okay, great. Okay. Well, you you're still doing okay. You're moving around with that So you ain't going back at all. This is over it. Yeah, oh no, I have a protective order and everything. Okay. So you ain't plan Yes, he looks like yes Yeah, okay, but I want before I get into all your good stuff because we have some great stuff to say about you I mean we want to want to let you tell about your businesses and all the things that you know and this this maybe a little knows the question But I I've heard this and I don't want and I've heard it from the internet So I would like to clear it up or you at least let you tell us um and you don't have to ask this if you don't want to but I was asking does Is his wife or does he have a wife in Africa? Yeah, okay, so she's in Africa So the the one wife that she was saying that it's not here in in Georgia correct Africa and she's She doesn't have these same stories or she just you know, she has a better relationship or is it just like a more I have not heard of any physical Authentications out there, but I honestly feel like um Africa is a little bit different, you know, she's not as isolated as I was this family everywhere. There's guards. There's men Um, they will stone you out there like they it's it's a little different versus here It's like, you know, like you seen some men I've even seen taken up for Him yeah, you know, it's like you got a pot and then don't talk bad about him at all. Yeah, so it's like It's a culture difference, but in some parts I feel like of Africa They also believe that it's very normal for the men to be on the women and they're okay with it But I just think that um, I don't know what happens behind closed doors with them So I can't attest to that but she said it y'all don't y'all don't I'm sorry I don't have a conversation about like his relationship with her, you know Um, she is she is someone that you know, she usually when she we used to talk because we don't talk anymore Um She would tell me things that she was going through with him, but it was never physical It's just was never physical so when you we're going through these things Did you have anybody to confide in like did you talk to your mom or anybody that she would go to to like, you know Just because you know, you're married you're going through these things But did you have anybody that knew what you were going through with that you think that's but not my parents I cuz you know they say once you bring the family in there. Yes, it's their brain So we resolve it And y'all but you did not they're not so I did I did not tell them up until this last last um, yeah, okay Yeah, I mean that's normal But okay, so You're been writing late questions on it, okay Because I did hear that y'all wasn't legally married. We're not So y'all not legally married? No, we're islamically married. What what we're setting? islamically like religiously married spiritually married islam islam islam islam islam so but there were many times And I'm not gonna even like there were many times that he Did say babe we need to go ahead and get married legally, you know, let's go ahead and lock it in There was even time we did go to the courthouse and get um, what's the first initial thing the marriage certificate and then you got to come back or whatever But my spirit wouldn't let me fully settle into it and I remember he asked me and he was like why you know Why I feel like I got a bag you to get get married and I was just like because I need more consistency from you I need at least a year to see that you know I don't have to question if this relationship is going to be safe for me, you know So he has asked me many many times like even even at eight years you didn't want to do it the right way I just felt like you know once you do sign that paperwork It becomes, you know, it's more of a business and then now we got to talk about a lot more stuff after like I was in a A better position leverage wise You know in the state of Georgia and United States, um, you know You can't marry two people, so Right, so that's why I say islamically he is married to her. He is not married to her legally The so he wife in Africa. They not married legally. No, and you not married to him right, so really he ain't married to nobody When he does what I do after this, I'm not sure he might but I just know he definitely you know He wanted marriage and did I want marriage to yeah, but I wasn't gonna set myself up for failure Getting married just to get divorced and go through that whole process for years and then you know, I just wasn't gonna do that What kind of smart? I mean he gave you all that money And and and he still put everything in your name, right? So leverage while you did So that is a blessing in disguise that you were able to It's still come up on top when it comes to leaving and just being financially stable and comfortable And peace and in peace, you know what I'm saying? I know you still like you know kind of like not Disclosing what you live, but you can live a happy life and not be like Meeting him for money and things of that nature right child supporting all of that so you can still just move on Without him that is a blessing So little girl you got to give me some game like I ain't got shit about that Because a lot of men they go through relationships and breakups and then they don't have no money to move or you know to change their lives And they have to deal with a lot more and keep dealing with them in different ways that they would love to depart from but they just can't or they stay because of financial issues and stuff like that and you know that's a that's a big thing you know not being able to move and you know I also feel like there's not a lot of resources that are being put in the the eye of the public for example I've from just now creating my nonprofit I found out there's other nonprofits that of course you always just hear like oh we'll put you in a shelter right then there's other nonprofits that will actually move you pay for the movers pay your first mind security deposit you know and pay for however long that they get a job yeah they do they do all of that so it's like sometimes you got to really tap into other resources because it's just very quiet you know even when a cop may come on a call that they get from DV you know they're giving a piece of paper with a couple of numbers and hey here this is you know if you need some help nobody's really talking about what resources are out there and that's what I really want to bring to the public yes of course I've been a strategist you know for the past almost ten years now but my strategy and the way my mind works applies to every level of my life so with women wanting to get out that situation it's like you just really got to know what your resources are as well can you tell if you know if you know off hand can you tell some of the women and people watching what those what these those resources are like some of the companies or people that will help you like move you and things of that nature because I'm sure you know a lot of women may need that right and so when this is going to be eventually aired I will have a a website that will be able to populate whatever it because it varies per the state sometimes it varies per the county so you guys if you're interested in that click my link in the bio you'll be able to get the information okay thank you I mean you know it's helpful you know that you're here to help other women and you know tell your story for a positive reason you know I'm saying you're not here to bash your husband at the same time you you want to help people you want to you know so that's you know thank you putting no problem tell you can you tell us though because I'm interested in this tell us about the series House of Divine and what that is and you know is there there's a book with that as well yes okay okay girls so House of Divine is a two-part series as far as what I want to do video wise I wanted to be able to have a podcast with women that have been able to maneuver out of very hard situations not just DV it could be financial hardships it could be physical what have you but I want to sit down on the couch with other women that have been through something that was just you know very traumatic or hard and talk about how they came out of it and then the other series will more so be like a show that shows the how because sometimes you know it's good to see it like wow I like your before and after but how did you actually do it I need step by step I need play by play yeah and that's what I want to showcase in the actual show okay okay so but why you rebranding your wellness brand the world's greatest rejuvenation yes okay I love that name thank you why do you think wellness is so important to women like you know well wellness is the foundation of everything one thing I would say with going through my journey as far as just happen to maneuver so many components with making sure I'm safe making sure my kids are good because they're homeschool so they're like with my little ducklings are with me everywhere making sure a business is still good you have to put your health first it's like you know because naturally me and everyone's different when I stress a lot I stop eating as much so I have to tell myself I sure you still gotta eat and you gotta make sure you get in in your greens your fruits you know your water me I take the apple of eaves still to this day you understand what I'm saying because it is rejuvenating to me and it's my body connection so when your body feels good your mind operates on a better level now you can be more strategic now you can push yourself a little more and not burn out but a lot of times when we go to stress we start to stress eats you know we're eating things that's high in sugar high in fat and it's like it really feels like your world is crashing then because you're not even giving yourself the proper fuel to think correctly yeah what since you brought up the apple eaves I still don't know what the apple of eaves so but people like me that don't know what the apple of eaves can you please explain to us what that is yes so it's a cellular cleanse in a rejuvenator so it will help cleanse your body and rejuvenate every cell in your body okay so the reviews have been going on for years now and I've seen so many reviews from people saying how is hope with their cancer how is hope with arthritis how is hope I'm not saying y'all might want that for this but help them be able to become more fertile and have a baby well I got a lot of apple of eaves I would not be trying you know so I think you have to be very intentional when you get the apple of e because whatever is like whatever gap is there it helps build that gap oh yes all right well I mean so you believe in this product you was you would say you stand by it I stand by it okay all my children it's so funny because it does not taste good with my children love it mommy can I get the apple of eaves especially my daughter my four-year-old she's like no she's five now can I get some of the apple of eaves and it's like it's one of those drinks that after you drink it you like but she loves it but they've been vegan their whole life and they eat to you know they eat for health they don't really eat for taste and so they're not used to like the starbursts you get a little thing you know it's amazing yeah good mom my kids you know can it's okay it's okay to see it like I try to you know I try you know when my last child try to do things a little different like not let her wear certain the odors were antipers spring yeah you know trying to do different things she's a pestitarian she's never been in but you know she likes to sneak chicken in beef sometimes so she goes to my mom house hmm whatever so but at our house we try to like do things different for her because I feel like there's a lot of kids and young people just get coming with cancer that we'd never seen back in the day right you know be more unhealthy so a lot of it I feel like it's in the food and just things that we put in our body right and so I tried to do a little something I haven't got it's good it's you know I didn't get that good it's a dream it's a dream and she's right now she's like can I not be a pestitarian anymore oh actually I I just became a pestitarian this year so I'm like 90% vegan I thought still don't eat the butter I mean you know use dairy and things like that but I did just start incorporating fish in my day yeah I ain't got nowhere near where neither one of y'all that I'm I'm gonna try to I'm gonna try I tried I tried I tried I tried I tried well okay well agent soap I can be saying agent here first of all I got to say this I know we got to go to I like the fact that you from Atlanta too I didn't know you finish it yeah yeah yeah yeah I didn't know that okay well here at Expeditious Lee the tiny takeover we have a segment called word of the day and the word of the day describe the guess or the conversation today word of today is resurgence and that means a powerful return after hardship or adversity I love that I love that I receive that yeah take that to use it in the sentence they say queen I just story is one of resilience transformation and remarkable resurgence rising and adversity to reclaim her power and build an even greater future yeah I like that and we will see that for you girl that was great that was dope and I love your cancer energy thank you for bringing it yeah thank you for coming on expeditiously at the tiny takeover yeah yeah stand up queen co-host yeah yeah thank you and of course queen aja we just appreciate you for coming out picking us you know to tell your stories an amazing story to get out to help other women and we just thank you for being here and keep going keep going keep going I like the fact that you don't let the world or the Romans or the you know the north get to you keep going because you got the babies that you got to take out and they looking up to you it's so much bigger than me in the internet yes it is yeah for to your um all the things that you're doing to flourish and uh we want to be keeping up with you and this has been expeditiously the tiny takeover thank you all for tuning in this is expeditiously I am too see you i hate you