Aisha Tyler Pulled Up With a Margarita and Some Truths

- In one of my old jobs at The Talk, they used to call me Aisha-pedia. I don't know that it was always a compliment. This Hollywood bitch on this kitchen, puts shit around my plate. This is enough of Aisha being cool. I'm taking off my glasses 'cause now it's time to win. - Oh, joke! You said America's gonna hate me. - No, America's gonna hate my guts. High Tide raises all boats. All boats. ♪ What is love, baby, don't hurt me ♪ Once I had some friends over and their dog scooted his butt on my rug and that rug went into the dumpster the next day. I'm sorry, you know? - I'm not mad at you. You don't know what you're talking about. - I have no idea what you're talking about. - Yeah. - Neighbors, today's house guest is the one and only Aisha Tyler. She's currently Dr. Tara Lewis on Criminal Minds and Lana on Archer, but she's a host, a comedian, and director. And seeing her on TV when I was growing up helped me believe that I belonged there too. And I bet she's the kind of house guest that is cool without even trying. Oh, it is so good to have you here. Oh my goodness. - Oh my God, this is such a thrill. - I feel like over the years, I have interviewed you multiple times. The way that you have always sewed and poured love and light into me. Like, it's just been, it's been awesome. So to be able to pay that back with a little house guest situation, I'm so glad that you are here. - I'm so thrilled. I feel like you were gonna get me. - Oh, no! - Don't make me cry. I could cry. Don't cry on this show. But I am really, really happy to be here with you. - Truly. You love an accessory. - I do. - You accessorize very well. - Oh, thank you. - I was not expecting the book bag. - My book bag! - What is in that book bag? - When I came with my homework. - Where is it? - My homework. With my, with my Lossify book bag. I brought you a gift. I brought you some booze. - Wait, wait, this is-- - That we can drink together. - Is this the one? - This is, this is my margarita. - Yes! - Yes! - I know you and I have been, like, DMing each other about the margarita. - Let's go! - So I brought you some. This is the Lossify organic margarita from my cocktail. It's my very first cocktail from my cocktail company. Completely organic. - The bottle is so pretty. - Thank you. When we started the company, I drank a lot of ready-to-drink margarita. In fact, I drank every single ready-to-drink margarita on the market, which you would think would be fun, but was not. And it was really, like, I had to dig deep to get it through that day, and there were many that had a very distinct aroma of the soul of a human foot. - Right? - Yes. It had a brown note. - And not the good guy. Not the sexy guy. - Yeah, we're not talking about chocolate. - No, we're not talking about D'Angelo. - No. - So, here's how you make a Lossafi margarita. Now, you can use the ice you have at home. Don't feel like you have to be like me. - I want to be like you. - You just put some ice in a glass, and you open the bottle, and you pour it out. It's only three ingredients, organic tequila, organic triple sec, organic lime, nothing else, no artificial colors or flavors, no stabilizers. It's, we make our triple sec, we make our own triple sec with organic tequila, so there's nothing in there but tequila. I feel like a lot of these ready-to-drink margaritas, let me tell you what, let me tell you what, America. Let me tell you something. - He said, let me tell you something. - Let me tell you something about what's going on here you don't know about. Most margaritas that you buy that are ready-to-drink, she's trying to be delicate, but she can't operate the tongs. I'm like, yep, it's fine. Everything's fine. - She's trying to be delicate. - She's trying to be cute, but it's not working for her, are made with malt liquor. - Which is why you have that, like, weird-- - Weird flavor, that funky Uncle Beau flavor. - Yeah. - Just three ingredients, and that's all you have to do to make them. But you don't have to do all this, you can just pour it in a glass. - I need you to know you have never seen ice this clear. Okay? - I didn't see any ice. - Where'd you get this, Japan? - She stopped on the way here. She had a man hand cut it. No, I got it on the spot. And then smell it first. I always like people to smell it, 'cause you can really smell that it's made with tequila and organic margarita. - It smells good. - It smells like a margarita. - Yeah. - Yeah. And not like feet. - Mm-mm. Ooh, we got a problem. - Mm-mm. - This is delicious. - No juicing limes. You know out there, when you're trying to juice a lime, you have to juice about 70, not 17, 70 limes to get a cup of juice. - Exactly, and Oprah has everybody, now you've got to have fresh limes. - Exactly, I love Oprah, but I don't have a staff. - Oprah was like, "You know the key to my margarita?" And I was like, "Uh-oh, what is it?" She was like, "Fresh limes." I was like, "Oh, I thought you were gonna say a chef." - You were gonna say, "Your 100-person staff." - Right! - People that live in my home. - She was like, "No, no, no, it's the limes." It seems like you find a way to infuse new energy into roles, even roles that you've had for some time. Not a lot of people can do what you do the way that you do it. What you've done on "Archer," what you've done on "Criminal Minds." I mean, what, what? - 18, 18, yeah. - 18, 17, 22, 35. - That's wild. - 42 seasons. - Your lips, God's ears. - I mean, right? - Yeah. - Coming up on the season finale, even the way this season started, I mean, between the pool-- - This season's great. - And the zookeeper. - Oh, the zookeeper. And that was my episode. I directed that episode. - I know! You sent us through it, too! - I was really happy with that one. - If y'all are not watching "Criminal Minds" right now on Paramount+, you are missing out. - You can go back to the very first episode, 'cause we are on season 18 right now, but you don't have to if you just wanna start with season 16, which is when it became "Criminal Minds: Evolution," I think. We really wanted to give the fans what they wanted, but if you were just jumping into it now, one of the exciting things is we have a new profiler, and we've really used him to be the proxy for the audience, like the Greek chorus, like he's asking the questions that you're asking at home. So if you haven't seen the previous 15 seasons of the show, which is a big commitment, he kind of brings you back into the world. - My mama will do it in three weeks. She can catch up in three weeks. - I believe in her. Tell us about it. - My mom went from zero, I will absolutely. Ma? Aisha says hello. - Hi, Mom! - My mom went from watching zero episodes of "Game of Thrones" to the last season premiere in, I'm gonna say, it was two weeks. She's asleep! - I said, "Ma." - But you know, that's exciting, though, 'cause I know she had some opinions, too. - She was like, "Now, hold on, where did the brother go when they left, when they fell through the skyfall?" We never saw them again. Are we sure they're dead? - We watch that every week. I have no idea who you're even talking about. - Mom, I don't even know. Skyfall, what you talking about skyfall? She's like, "The big hole in the room." - All of that! - I said, "What?" - I was like, "The Vaughn movie, James Vaughn?" - Exactly! I'm like, "You talking about Adele?" - We opened that episode with a little scene. - Oh, we did, we had a little scene, me and my lover. - Yeah, a little scene. - Me and Rebecca, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, Tara and Rebecca, we had a sex scene. I don't think we've actually-- - So we had a sex scene? - We had a sex scene. I don't actually think that we've ever had a sex scene on Criminal Minds, and that was what Chris Barber, who wrote that episode, is like, "We've never done a love scene on this show." - And you were like, "I'll direct this one." - I was like, "Mm-mm-mm." I directed it, and I-- - How do you direct yourself in a sex scene? - Very quickly. Very quickly. - All right, with your eyes closed. Is it over yet? There's nothing like the feeling of going, "Did you get the part where she had her finger in my mouth?" Okay, great, cut. First of all, Nicole Payson, who plays my wife. - Incredible. - Girlfriend, fiance, whatever you want to call her. I hope that's a spoiler, but like, my lover. The best thing is that both Nicole, who is queer, and other queer friends of mine have been like, "Oh, that was a really good lesbian love scene." Like, they were like, "You really got it right." And I was like, "Okay, come on now." Just trying to honor the community. - No, let me tell you, you did it. - Oh, to respect. - You know what I'm saying? - Every day, baby! - Every day! - Every day. This ally never stops. - Never. - I was happy to do it, 'cause I really wanted to give it the respect and the love that it deserved. And then I was happy it was over, 'cause I was like, "I gotta put my pants back on." Because you're like, "Oh, there's 250 men staring at you." - I gotta put my pants back on. - You're like, "All right, guys, turn around. "Come on, next scene. "We're on the move." - In the vein of the profiling of serial murderers, I figured we'd see if we could profile one another, right? - Oh my God. - So I've got some questions for you. - Okay. - The game is called-- - I need margarita. - That tracks. - Mm. - That tracks. So we've got some situations. You're gonna try to guess what my answer is. - Oh, okay. - You're gonna try to guess how I would answer the question. - This is like Newlywed, the Newlywed game. - I do. - Okay, good, I do too. - I do. - Spicy Marg or Classic? And I'm writing down what you would like. - Yeah. - You know what's funny? Is that you think you don't like games, but then when you're playing games, you're like-- - You're like, "Oh, I love this shit." - I love this, I really need to win. Ready? - Yep. One, two, three. - Two, three. - Am I right? - Yes, okay, so here's, that was a really good answer. I do love, I used to love Spicy Margs, but now I only drink regular, 'cause now I'm just like doing market research. - See? - Now I'm tasting everybody's great margarita. - 'Cause you wanna, yeah, without the extra-- - Yeah, spicy will blow out your palate if you drink it too early in the night. - You're absolutely right. I do love a spicy margarita. - Yeah, spicy margarita. - But I don't want a rim. - Oh. - Not on a spicy, I don't want a rim on a spicy. No salt, I don't like salt. - Take note, internet. - I don't want any salt. - No rim for Scott. - No rim for me. - No. - Not that kind. - You mean for Scott. - Not that kind. - And no. - No. - And no rim, because you feel like it ruins the flavor of the margarita. - Yeah, and then I'm battling with salt all night, and my tongue swells up. - You know when you end up doing a lot of this. - Yeah, and the person you're talking to might be able to ignore you licking it. - Yeah, and it's not cute. - Weird, people who are not engaged in your conversation are like, look at these motherfuckers just licking this nasty-ass glass. - Dirty glass. - Yeah, just-- - They only watch the inside of the glass. - They only watch the inside. - The only time I like a rimmed glass is if it's like a really fancy salt, like if they do like black salt, or some kind of like tahini, but on the outside, because other problem that bars do is they sink the glass into whatever that wet thing is, which is never clean. - What is that nasty rim of water? - It's a sponge. - It's a mop. - It's a sponge that they're also gonna use to clean the dishes later, I don't know. It's not sanitary. - Oh, triggered, okay. Read receipts on text messages, on or off. - Oh, honey. - For you. - For you. - For you. I'll leave mine on, but. - Ah! - Yes, I knew you would leave yours on. - But no, they're off for everybody. I'll leave them on for you. I'm not, here's the thing. - Mm-mm, off. - I'm not, like I have friends of mine on WhatsApp. I'm like, you better leave your last scene on. Like, I need to know that you've read it. I, like, family members and close friends, like, heifer, don't act like you didn't see my text. - You didn't see my text. - I don't come to your house. - Calling me, talking about what? What do you want? - Wait, what? Bitch, I know you saw it. - I'm sorry. You have to leave it on. So that's for WhatsApp because I feel like that's like closest friends and family. For my group chats, I have it off because you get sometimes work texts in there and you need to be able to manage your inflow. And, you know, not everybody who's coming through has equal priority and you don't want them to feel deprioritized. I feel like a lot of times it's for their feelings because if they see you read it and you didn't get back to them, then they're mad. But if they can't see that you didn't read it, then they're not feeling a certain type of way about it. Certain type of way. And my thing is just no. It's my receipt and I said no. How do you like your eggs? Ooh. Oh. I know. Now I see why you made the face. Right? Hmm. Not as literally doing the same process. We're like waiting to see how long the other person writes. This is a really tough one. I feel like you could go for this because you're fancy. I don't even know how to spell it. All right, but I'm excited. I have no idea. This is absolutely a shot. Of the dark. Yes. That made me really happy. That's so funny. That made me so happy. Oh, my God. Is that accurate? Okay, I'm going to tell you something. No way. Poached egg to me. Is it too slimy? I want everything that I eat to be cooked all the way. Now, is this. So I do eat poached eggs. I do eat poached eggs because I do like runny yolk. But mostly I eat hard-boiled eggs because it's in that same like chicken. Hard-boiled. Yeah, cook it. Okay, so what's it marinated in? Some herbs, some spices, paprika-seasoned chicken. We're having a chicken sandwich today. I love it. How do you drink your water? Okay. Is it ice water or is it room temperature? Ooh, okay. Which is the best way to drink water? All right. This is how much of a nerd I am. I'm like, I don't like the way that I wrote that. I need to get an A in everything. My family loves that about me. Mm-hmm. Okay. Super easy. Oh, easy to get along with. Yes. Absolutely right. Absolutely right. Absolutely right. I want to almost taste strawberries. It's so cold. Oh, my God. Do you know what I mean? You want like a ting in the back of your head. Ooh. Oh, that's amazing. I lost control of my eyebrow. I want it to be that cold. And I like it room temperature because I want to pound it. Like, I am like, I'm just very goal-oriented. I have to get like my whatever amount of eight glasses or whatever it is now. I'm not good about drinking water, so when I do, I get like a liter in at a time. So I'm just like, no. So it's got to be room temp. Yes, exactly. Just trying to get an A plus. That's so funny. I'm going to imagine the whole time is lemonade. Oh, like you want it to feel that way. You want to trick yourself. You want like sweet tea. Yeah. This Sprite is sure is nice. Oh, my God. Are you just sipping it all day, though? Or are you kind of. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Sipping it all day. That's me. Water sipper. I feel like this is not true. That's where every time somebody sees me, they're like, ooh, there you go drinking that water again. I don't feel like this is an accurate description of your head. It's not. No, it's not. I have a hard time. See, I'm always like. You have a hard time drinking water. Yeah, I'm like, I have water in this. Yes. Oh, there's water in there. I did a story on coffee because it was like, coffee's dehydrating you. The caffeine is dehydrating. It's like, actually, that's untrue. It's untrue. It's untrue. There's plenty of water in there. There's plenty of water in your coffee. There is, which is good because I love coffee like it's a person. Same. Like, literally, in the morning, I'm like. Couldn't wait to see you. I know you miss me. How you doing? I have this. I have this. Kissing the glass. She's so cute. She loves me. She loves me. When I found out that it was good for a workout, like, so then I have this whole regime where I get up and I have my espresso and then I do my workout and then. Wait, wait. You do an espresso shot before your workout? I do before my workout, yeah. It's supposed to be. Oh, this is just so exciting for the people at home. We love a good tip. Oh, okay, good. It's supposed to be really good just for kind of like kicking your metabolism into high gear. It helps you like metabolize fats in your blood more quickly and it optimizes performance. So much so that. Like, there's a limitation on how much caffeine, like, restricted athletes can take before they play sports. Dang! It's really. It's really effective. Like, two shots of espresso before, like, a race or, like, a big workout. You know, it's like a natural pre-workout. You're welcome. In one of my old jobs at The Talk, they used to call me Aisha-pedia. It's crazy. Yeah. Let's ask Aisha-pedia. And I'll be like, well, it's not exactly. I'm so glad you asked. Copy. That's a natural performance answer. But I do, I do like to read. Were you always this person? Yes. Very, very nerdy. Very bookish. Like, my parents didn't allow television, so I was a really, really intense reader from a very young age. No TV. No, I didn't have a TV until I was a teenager. That's why you kill it. Maybe. You're like, oh, I've got to make up for some lost time. I did have to make up for some lost time, yes. But, I mean, I loved, like, I loved books and I loved fantasy, so I'd read a lot. I was very much an outsider, you know, super bookish, and I was the only black kid in my school until, like, middle school. Only black kid in the school? Oh, in the whole school, yeah. Until the eighth grade, and then I went to another school where I was the only black kid again, and then I got to my high school, and then it was a little bit more diverse. But I always was an outsider, so I feel like telling stories was really, I was like, if I can just connect with people, I can connect with people, and I can, you know, find a way in, you know, that'll be the way. Which also explains a lot, because you are very good at making the connection, but you also don't necessarily seem like you are. You know, some people need that, like, they're fed by that. Right, right, right. You are a willing participant, but as soon as that is over, you are A-okay, then, like, and all right, I'll catch you next time. I'm cool to be alone, yeah, totally. Can't wait to get in the car. This business is so intensely about, not the kind of connection from storytelling, but the kind of connection of, like, we're all the same. Look at the clothing I'm wearing, or the shoe label, or that's how we figure out who's in and who's out, you know what I mean? Yeah. Because I was always an outsider. I feel like it's helped me a lot. It's helped me a little bit not fall prey to this pervasive, intense, like, you've got to show everybody how successful you are, you've got to wear it on your sleeve, you've got to be on the carpet 100% of the time, you've got to be. And if you're not, you didn't get it done, you're not successful. And how could you ever stay? I remember, like, really early in my career, I was on some carpet, and they asked me what shoes I was wearing, and I said, the designer, and this guy was like, well, why not Jimmy Choo? And I was like, what? What? Who the fuck are you, first of all? Right. Second of all, I mean, are you going to give me money to buy Jimmy Choo shoes? Like, what is this? You asked me the question, I answered the question. Also, ask the nine bitches what shoes they're wearing. I have different shoes on. Like, it's so crazy. This, like, you know, are you in or are you out, based on how much money you've spent, not based on, you know, your creativity, or how kind you are to people, or what you're trying to give back. Or if you're good. Or if you're good at your job. Just like, you know, so much is about what they're wearing, what they own, and it's a disease. How many followers you have. God, and that is just the worst of all of the diseases, I think, which is like, this person is more followers than me, what can I do to get more followers? Yeah, some people's whole livelihood being built around how I can educate you on getting Get more followers. Some people in my life are like, you need to post more. And I'm like, I'm being alive right now, I don't have time to stop down and make a video about it. You know what I mean? And I respect it, because I feel like it's a great way to connect with people. If that's the way you choose to connect with people. What's so exciting about this show for you is I feel like people are going to see a side of you they don't get to see in those little snippets, you know, in your TV job, to see that you're so much more expansive than that. And I think it's really. It's really inspiring for people, but it has to be on your own terms. Right. It needs to be something that you want to share with people, not something that you feel forced to share. Forced to share. Yeah. Because in order to hit the algorithm. The algorithm. You know, I've got to post three times a day. I have a lot of respect for people who can do it, but I'm like, you've got too many dots at the top of your story, homie. Like, did you have one conversation that wasn't on camera today? Like, what's going on? Too many dots. Too many dots. Too many dots at the top of your story. It's too many dots. It's too many dots, bro. It's too many dots. Every day is on and then. Every day is like, it's a Tuesday. It's not your birthday. Okay, so you know on your story when you post someone, they're tagged, and you share it, right? Yeah. And then the person who's tagged, they share it. Right. And they maybe say, oh, thank you so much. Do you share the thank you so much? Oh, God, that's so funny. So now we're like the windows, like, we're do, do, do, do. It's like Inception. We're like five levels in. We're like, if you say something again, I'm going to do it. I'm going to post it again. And now the video that was originally posted. Like when you look in the mirror, the mirror, the mirror, the mirror. Yes. The original post is this big because it's just the two of you going back and forth saying now, girl, now you go. Is anybody even here? Is it just me? Today, today, today, I posted something. I tagged two friends. They reposted me, and I had my finger over the repost button. I said, no, no, it's cool. I'm good. You said, no, no. No, at least they saw it twice. They know. They see it a third time. It's fine. And you know what you're doing. You're like, look, I have friends. I have friends. And they like me. They like me. And I like them. They like them, and they like me back. And you're like, touch grass. Touch grass. Have a beer. Why don't you go meet them in person in real life and have a beer with them? And please get up off of my motherfucking internet, please. Too many dots. You have given me a new piece of lingo. Too many dots. Too many dots. Too many dots. If it's not your birthday, you are allowed 10 dots. If I see 25 dots at the top of your story, I'm going to come to your house and smack you in the face. It's too many. Did you just pull one? Because that one is not a good one, so do that one. What was that one? It says, do I log dogs on the couch? I don't have a dog, so it feels like a, but yes, I mean, no. No. Hell no. I was going to say no. No, okay, no. Dogs on the furniture? And people are like, oh no, it's hypoallergenic. Okay, this is actually a good, this is a good conversation because I, oh God, no, America's going to hate me. It's okay. I did not like dogs for a big part of my life. Like, I was afraid of them when I was little. Like, dogs? Really? Yeah. You said America's going to hate me? No, America's going to hate my guts. I was just afraid of them. Yeah. I lived in a neighborhood where like, you know, there were like dogs that would run around and they wouldn't be on leashes and like kids would get bitten. So you just form like this, you know, people are much more, people take better care of their dogs now and they're more in control of their behavior than they used to be when they just were running wild. And also like. Like the old west. When I used to ride to school in my three wheel wagon. Yeah. now all of a sudden we're in Beloved I mean that's my life I had to fight so so I I love you so much this is wild so during COVID which was a very stressful time for the whole planet for all of humankind we all thought we were going to die and we didn't know what was happening and we were washing our produce washing your produce at the sink with soap no but the mail oh I never washed the mail the mail my granddad called me he was like grandson are you washing the mail he said I sent you something but you don't need to wash it paper mail paper mail washing it oh my god I love that he sent it back outside in the sun it's like a cartoon and you put it through the little laundry squeeze it was such a fear riven time and so everybody was doing things to soothe themselves you know we did a lot of drinking I'm not gonna lie I was like would you like some Sofiane Blanc with your eggs yes I would scramble them as hard as you possibly can put it in the eggs just put it in the eggs yeah we'll figure it out so one of the things that I started doing that I started doing to soothe myself was watching dog and cat videos like that was just an activity right really you know like just a dog running into a door over an old man or a kitty cat falling off a shelf my favorite is the dog that's talking oh yeah so yeah yeah oh my god I love you I love you Husky there are super cuts of dogs that are all saying I love you it's the best it's my favorite so there's a super cut of cats and they're doing something naughty okay and then the owner says hey and then the cat acts like they're not doing something naughty so I'm a cat and I'm gonna knock this off the thing and then you say hey say hey hey there is a super cut of cats doing that it is the best because hey and it got you through right I wouldn't do what you thought I was doing so now I I fell in love with dogs watching these videos see and now I love dogs and I can't have dogs because I travel too much for work but I am the lady who goes up to strangers yes and goes can I pet your dog don't know no owner's names no I don't I don't even care about them sometimes I will look at a dog owner's dog and not make eye contact oh you such a cute baby they're like I'm not talking to you you you are adorable I don't know you I know this person over here but your dog can't come on the couch though no not on my fine not on my fine entire leather no no absolutely not no with all this floor once I had some friends over and their dog scooted his butt on my rug and that rug went into the dumpster the next day I'm sorry I'm not mad at you scooted on my fine just raw booty hole it was like a beautiful kind of seagrass so it was like very kind of like tactile just you can't get doggy booty out of your dog get out of that no get out of that rug what is the best type of apple ooh I love apples and when I was five my father was like young people should have a job so my first job was that I sold red delicious apples at the at the flea market I'm so sorry red delicious for about a quarter honey it was in the 1800s and we only had one we only had one kind of apple we had two apples we had red delicious and we had the green one the granny's the green the granny's that was all we had when pimples came out everybody lost their minds and so the variety that you young people have today you'll never know I get nice to hear you there was only two kind of apples back then there was red one and a green one come on now but Adam Rodriguez on our show eats an apple every day handsome fellow and very fit yes and he would walk on set eating this apple and it was like an apple commercial like he would bite into it you know what I mean it was like magic apple magic Mike apple and so just after a few weeks everybody else just started eating apples too it's like now I eat an apple every day influencer yes so he's actually I told him I said you're an influencer you're an apple influencer in real life didn't even have to know about Instagram see no dots and he influenced everybody no dots not one dot okay there's only one great apple there's only one great apple America and this is it this is it this is it this is it every other apple wishes it was this apple this is the Oprah of apples oh my god this is the Rihanna apple do you send food back if it's wrong or do you just eat it you so you what you do you you what I would do what you would do ready ready one two three you can send it back I will say this if I'm like at a a work function or you know there's like a a group of people sometimes I will suffer through in that I I just won't eat it right right right but if I'm paying for it yeah it's an issue and I feel like because I was I mean I was a server I did every single job in a restaurant I was a bus girl I was a dishwasher I was a server I was a bartender I did all of it but so I really try to respect the server I know it's not always their fault I do just come in and try to be specific up front so no one can make any mistakes so then it's really wild when you're like I want it exactly this way and then it comes out like not that way at all that's no cilantro and then I get like just it's just a bowl of cilantro with nothing else in it yeah it's like you said cilantro yeah I said the word cilantro it was in there it was in there cilantro was definitely in the sentence but also sometimes that server comes to the table of seven people without anything to write I'm gonna remember all of it you're not impressing me by the time you get to me you're gonna need you're gonna need to go back and get your back we are not on a Tinder date you do not need to impress me with your memory just go right down what I'm telling you right now is you're doing the opposite of impressing me go get your ass over there and get your back or say it back sometimes you can say do you want to say it back to me read to me what you heard I can't read it to you because I didn't write it to you ah ah ah ah taste the soup oh taste the soup I was so happy to be I was in a restaurant and I ordered some soup I tasted the soup tasted the soup it didn't have a seasoning in it and I didn't eat I didn't eat the soup and then the way I wasn't even gonna say anything about it I was like it's cool I'm not hungry I don't need the soup and the waiter came over said do you not like that soup and I said it doesn't have any seasoning in it and he said oh no and went to the kitchen and he said to the kitchen she's not gonna eat the soup I was like can we be a little bit more chill about this wait you can hear right there she don't like the soup she ain't gonna eat the soup but I was very I wasn't trying to let any she ain't gonna eat the soup she didn't like the soup she didn't like you she didn't like your kids she hates this place you and your mama she said you ain't gonna be shit she already tweeted this place ain't shit I just didn't want to eat the soup right so then the chef came over so I just said to him I said this is from this is from watching too many shows on like cooking network I said well did you taste the soup did you did you taste the soup try it did nobody put no seasoning in that soup you skipped this part no you forgot it you just put so maybe somebody else did it anyway so it was very funny because he looked he was very grumpy and I said it's cool I don't mind I'm just okay and I went back to the hotel like three months later and he was like I seasoned the soup I was like I don't really know this is a very classy cookout you know it really is selection of cheeses you know two different kinds of salad are you a spreader do you put do you put oh that that sounded weird we already talked about rims are you a saucer do you put sauce on your buns yes I do I've got some aioli I've got some but I feel like everything that happens after this is just going to disappoint you because I am one of these people I will have a bite of a sandwich and then I will pull the meat out of the middle so it's like why am I going through the effort of making this sandwich when you know I'm going to have one bite and then I'm just going to eat the chicken out of the middle she's so sad it's really sad I mean like it's just so Hollywood it's just too much Hollywood I hear that I'm like I have a certain amount of carbs it's going to be a glass of wine it's not going to be a bun that's it that's like look I'm too old for these shenanigans messing with this bun these young people shenanigans okay I'm going to get you these chickens the other day I ordered a lobster roll and I just ate all the lobster out of the middle so you really just wanted some lobster I just wanted some lobster but I couldn't just be like can you just bring me out of this big pile of lobster here's something I've tried to eat three times because I will I will eat weird shit like I love whelks which are like sea they're like tiny little sea conches you know you eat them with like a pick and they taste a little bit like shrimp I'll eat almost anything like an escargot it's like a sea escargot but it tastes more like a clam than an escargot but I'm glad you mentioned it because I tried three times and I don't like escargot like every time I go to every time guys could I just be more every time I go to Paris I try the escargot I'm in the city of life and I just which is the only place really to eat escargot I mean if you're going to eat escargot you better eat escargot anyway whenever I go I think okay I'm here I'm going to have it and it's going to be better this time and it's going to be better this time and it just tastes like dirt now here's what I'm going to tell you here's what I'm going to tell you I'm doing so very little right now I'm just with my mind and my chicken acting like I'm going to eat it this Hollywood bitch I'm going to push it push it around my plate with a fork like I'm on blue bloods they just pretend to eat but they never eat move it around hope nobody sees you oh you said why am I sitting here give me some kale salad which I actually recognize and understand mmm it's delicious the chicken is delicious perfectly seasoned see I had my my one bite of bun it's very exciting we were talking off camera about the escargot some of your time in Ireland. - Mm-hmm. Oh, God. It's so embarrassing. - You can see me. You can see me. - I thought I was being chill. I thought I was being chill with the bun. - The silence. - The bun mutilation. Don't look at me, I'm hideous. Don't look at me. - Don't look at me. - Don't look at me. - You were in Ireland. - I was. - And you weren't just like kicking it in Ireland. - No, I was directing a film. - You were directing. - Yeah, it was my second movie, which was great. - What does that feel like for you? Because I would imagine the second one is even maybe more special than the first. - Maybe there's a different set of fears associated with the second one, because you're like, was that a fluke? Can I do it again? You know more about what you don't know. The first time, everything is new. You're kind of muddling your way through. But the second one, you're like, did I learn enough? Will this be an improvement? Will it be a better expression of who I am as an artist? I love directing, and I find it to be a very joyful experience, and that really drives me forward. Like, it's really important to me that everybody on the film enjoy the experience. I feel like if you can create an environment where people are doing their best work, where everyone feels like, safe and able to pitch and be brave. And, you know, I always say like not every idea is going to make it into the movie, but I want everybody to feel like they can bring their ideas to set. I want everybody to feel like it's a place. There's a space for everyone. Yeah, that there can be a dialogue. And as a director, I'm a coach and my job is to assemble great athletes and get them, help them do their best work. But you said the boats. High tide, high tide raises all boats. You say that like so easily. High, high tide raises all the boats, all boats. At this point, looking back at the things you have done in your career, does it match the dream that you had for what you wanted to be when you were a kid, you know, selling apples, right? Were you like the red, not delicious apples? Red, moderately tasty apples. What's wild is it not in any way, but it's wild. It's completely outstripped what I ever expected for myself. Really? How in no way does it? First of all, I thought I was going to be like a lawyer or a stockbroker or something like that. I mean, I was a very bookish kid and I was like, I'm going to go to law school. Of course, I wanted to be an astronaut. I did. I really wanted to be an astronaut. For like most of my childhood, I was super into space and like, you know, going to the space museum and reading science fiction. And like, I really was like, I wanted to be an astronaut. And then I figured I have to be in the military and do a bunch of math, which I always like liked math. I liked math a lot, but. Um, but I, you know, at some point, like my love of math outstripped my, my like ability for math. Hello. But yeah, I mean, even when I started as a standup, I thought, I just want to be a working standup. I just want to make people laugh. But I do think that like what happens as you grow as a, as an artist and as a person is if you're testing yourself constantly about what you're able to do, the scope of, of your abilities and your skills will expand asymmetrically, right? So you try something, you, you've discovered you're good at it. You lean into that, that expands. It introduces you to new skillsets and new experiences, and then you want to lean into those. And so gradually your skillset just grows and grows on its own. Right. If you're a curious person and you're pushing yourself to, to do things and to grow. And I think the big challenge for adults is that we get into a state where we're comfortable, where we're good at what we do, where we like doing well. Um, and I don't, you know, human, human animals like comfort. We like to, we like to cruise. And so most people are like, look, I'm going to stay in my lane. This is what I'm good at. I'm going to do this forever. And then you look back and you're like, wait, I didn't do any of the stuff I wanted to do. Or something reminds you of the dream that you had. And you're like, oh, right. Or people just, they fear failing. It was just a natural human concern is I'm afraid of failure, but you know, and I wrote a whole book about it, about failure being actually at the core of growth. Like you cannot grow, you cannot succeed without failure. You have to be able to risk it. You have to be able to experience it. You have to always say like, people never get funny when they kill, they get funny when they fail, when they bomb and they go, oh shit, better go back and do some new stuff. But also the bombing makes you fearless. Cause once the worst thing that's ever happened to you has happened, then you just, I'm like, come at me, bro. Right. The title of your book, how did you settle on self-inflicted wounds? I had a podcast for five years. Um, and it was a podcast. It was an origin story podcast, which a lot of them are, but it was mostly, it was called grow on guy. And the section at the end of the show was always a section, a segment called self-inflicted wounds. And I was like, tell me something that went wrong in your life. That was your own fault. Like you can't blame your parents or society or the man, you know what I mean? It went wrong, you know? And, and, and essentially like what you learned from it, right. It was comedy driven, but it was also about humanizing these extraordinary people. Cause I, you know, I had like Anthony Bourdain and Chris Rock and Charlize Theron and Viola Davis. And, and so I wanted to show people when they were listening, like this, this level of excellence comes from strife and failing and failing. Yes. And that these people aren't magical. And so I wanted to show people that they're just people who persisted through failure. Like success is not the absence of failure is persistence through failure. And so these people that you think are incredible would be like, Oh, here's like this time when I like, you know, vomited all over a date or I, you know, shit myself on stage or I'd be like amazing stories. And so the book was then a collection of all of my own self-inflicted wounds, but it was really a book about embracing failure in your life. You've been able to achieve some pretty remarkable things in your career. I mean, even thinking about some of the roles you've been able to hold for the next 10 years. A number of years, the shows have been successful. Is there one job in particular that you got and you were like, I don't, I don't, I don't even know how this one is happening, but we don't keep going every single day. I feel like the one that was startling and life-changing obviously was friends, right? Because it was very much a show that was a massive hit when it was on the air. Yeah. I mean, when you were on it, it was like at its peak of popularity. It was a global phenomenon and there had never been a person like you. Yeah. Yeah. They'd had a couple of people come in and play on an episode or two, but no one had ever played on an episode. And so I was like, Oh, no one who got like this long arc that felt like integral in a way to the other character's storylines. I mean, I was the last girl that Ross dated before he got back together with Rachel. And I do remember them calling me and being like, listen, we're writing off the show because Ross and Rachel are getting back together. And I felt like, well, okay, I can, it wasn't like, it wasn't like I had a say in the matter, but it felt right. It felt right. Yeah. I remember very vividly, just being terrified the entire time. So I wasn't like, Oh, look at me. I was, just like, you know, terrified. Why? Because the show was so big. They, because they were the best at what they did. And, and I had heard while I was there that a lot of people had come on the show and like completely melted down. Um, I just being intimidated, you know what I mean? Like, like a really, a well-oiled cast. They were very close. They were very good at telling a joke. Yeah. There was nothing as good as that show in terms of comedic delivery, timing, writing at the time. And so, you know, people come on and they would just be like, I can't do this. You know, I don't know how to do this. And there was a lot of people that were like, I can't do this. I can't do this. And there was another thing. And I feel like it might've been, it might've been Matthew Perry who said it. It was just like, it's just like, they're never going to laugh at your jokes. They're going to laugh at our jokes. Like, and he wasn't even like in a bad way. He's like, don't take it the wrong way. Like just roll with it. Don't take it personally. Just keep moving. Yeah. It's like, you're, it's, it's tough to win in here. It relaxed me a lot at that moment because you feel like, okay, I'm not doing it right. I'm not telling the jokes right. And really what it is is, you know, you're the, you're the day player and you're next to the heroes, you know? But, um, yeah. Yeah. It was, it might've been Matt LeBlanc. I mean, they were very, very, very kind to me and they made it as easy as they could because I think they also knew how hard it was to step onto that moving train and not lose your shit. After you, you were on the show, you know, there are a lot of people who are like, you know, you get on these huge shows and then your life just changes. Was that your experience? Yes and no. Like I've, I've told this story a bunch of times, but, but very specifically on the first live taping day, my first episode, as we're going, you know, you go out and you do the show live in front of an audience. And then at the end, you go out and you do a curtain call, everybody bows. And Matthew Perry leaned over and said, get ready. Get ready for your life to change. And it was a really, really kind thing. Like it was, it was very much like a congratulations. Like this is rarefied air and, and welcome. And it was really, really nice. I really felt because I was like knock-kneed the whole time, just like, don't fuck this up. It just felt like, you know, good job kid. And that was really, really like a nice thing. And it did. I mean, you know, it went from being on, I had a show before that called TalkSoup. TalkSoup would air like, you know, 30 times a week and like multiple day parts, you know what I mean? Wherever there was a hole, they would shove us in there. But I'm going to tell you, TalkSoup was one of the reasons why I'm on television. Really? Absolutely. TalkSoup, TRL, 106 and Park. These shows were centered around people being able to bring you into a scenario to connect with you in a way that felt like you were one of their friends. And the way y'all moved through those moments, like they inspired me. I was able to see, and especially people like you was able to see myself, my family members. And so I never even operated with this, with this idea or this, this belief that I didn't belong on television. Right. I was able to not only see, but hear and relate to, you know, people who were on television. I mean, that makes me super happy. I feel like, I feel like if I have other than like my own kind of creative goals, I feel like my purpose is to create space for people to come behind. Oh no, you're like, and you know, there are some people who like, when they talk, they talk about like creating space, what they really mean is like more space for them to move through more comfortably. But you are one of those people. Yeah. And I think that's, I think that's a really good point. I think that's a good As you're plowing through, you're like pushing shit out of the way further than you need so that the folks behind you have a clearer path. It's pretty incredible. It's really, it's pretty incredible. Thanks. Like, and this shit ain't easy. The really cool thing is that you've also done it with such a level of, you talked about excellence, but such a level of dignity that as you move through what I know were shitty scenarios, you're like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. And I think that's a really good point. I think that's a really good point. I love the show and I knew the show. It's a reality. Yeah. And I knew what I could do there. You showed up prepared for the opportunity. Just ready. I understood the assignment. you know and they were like they were like you did great and like the response was great it was great but i've got the job and it was like six months of of them like you know not not not hiring me and then when i finally got hired they've kind of reiterated you know we got so much fan mail like so many people liked you on the show and i said that was great and then what i got was a lot of but like i don't know if white men are going to watch you on the show i don't i mean i don't think that's you know literally the fan base here is like white guys and they're not going to watch a black woman i mean that was just like straight to my face the only reason i'm pausing here is because if that i'm like i'm furious yeah because if that is what they're saying to your face right right right imagine the kinds of conversations that are happening around this show when yeah in your absence yeah and it's funny because you know what do you say to that like i could i get my feelings heard i could have been indignant i was what i did say was listen i've been a touring comedian for a decade and my audience is predominantly male and predominantly white guys and it's very diverse but you don't know what you're talking you don't know what you're talking about you have no idea what you're talking about and also hold my beer thinking about the the things you have done in your career has there been an experience for you that you knew you were not necessarily prepared for but you knew the opportunity you had to take it was not something you could pass up and you i'm gonna figure it out as we go if i have to and i ask you that because i think about where you are in the beverage business right there are not a lot of black women who have this experience i don't think there's i listen i might be speaking out of school but i don't think there's any any black women in doing what i'm doing you know i mean there are some black women in the larger spirit space and obviously fawn weaver is the biggest one with uncle nearest right there are very few people of color in the in the cocktail space was this an exercise and like i'm going i know i want to be in this space but i'm gonna figure it out as i go absolutely i mean i think for me it's funny because now you know launching this brand a lot of people like oh all these celebrities gotta you know they got a celebrity brand they're all you know and it's funny i think for me it's funny because now you know launching this brand a lot of people like oh like feel however you want to feel about it and then it's funny to say this that like it really came from a place of passion but it really did it was like i love cocktails and i wanted to bring that love i wanted to bring that love home for people right i traveled alone for such a long time you know you'd be in you know whatever poughkeepsie cleveland detroit so i would be eating room service and i'm like this sucks this is this is pathetic you know i'm up here in this in this hotel eating like my 70th fucking chicken caesar right catching lawn order we run so i've seen 18 or 19 times like get up so i was like i'm gonna take myself out to dinner and i would take myself out to dinner in these towns and i would meet all these great bartenders and i would have some amazing drink and then i would go home and i would want to recreate it at home for myself and i couldn't right because it was like so fancy so i started teaching myself how to do it and that was really where it came from i was like i'd come up i want one great drink i didn't want to make a mess and i thought shit if i want this probably other people want it right how did you move past the first iteration when it did not work the way that you wanted it to go right and decide that wasn't the signal that it wasn't for you yes like how did you discern that that i hate to say failure because it doesn't feel like a learning experience you know i feel like that attitude is the attitude i try to bring to everything in my life you know i had a i was raised my parents separated i was 10 and i was raised by a single dad and my dad was very much like you'd fall down he'd be like you better get up i broke my arm at camp he's like you better ride that bike home anybody picking up that bike i had to ride all the way back from camp with a broken arm i mean like you better get that bike home i just why can i hear him why can i hear him i would go i would always go jesus christ daddy oh he ain't gonna help you i just was raised as like you know you just had to like you just had to get up like get up get up and it really helped in this business because you know everybody was it's just constant rejection it's and you and it is personal you know you don't take it personal it is personal we don't want you we want that guy you talking about me exactly you're saying we don't like you nah too tall too short too black not black enough too fat too skinny too ugly too loud um so you know i had a cocktail company and then to move to this new reiteration i was like okay what can i learn from that experience and how can i apply it to this new thing because the passion was still there looking at anybody who's successful in business almost all of them will tell you that they had a bunch of businesses that i found someone to run my company who i trusted implicitly who had the same vision as me and for everything that's been going great it has been going really well it's been really fun when when there's a setback we just go okay how are we gonna how are we gonna navigate how are we gonna pivot and i think it's just like it's a great skill set for no matter what you do in your life business family relationships rather than being like this is a disaster just to really be like what can i learn from this how can i grow and sometimes what you're learning is like i'm not like right right but yeah but like in that what's bruce lee documentary to be like water i move like water yeah be like water because it's not you you know you just you don't lose you learn even earl agrees with that earl the rooster or the rooster just he i don't know if you heard him when you were talking earlier earl was like that's a word that that that that's a word i heard him i did not have you doing rooster impressions on my bingo card today but b17 that's a word that's a word sounds like my dad you better you better ride that bike i used to be so mad because all the white kids dads and moms would drive them places my dad would get on the bus ain't nobody taking you to a party you better get yourself a bus schedule he never told me not one not one time oh my god i thank him for that because i'm i'm very self-sufficient exactly very self-sufficient i bet your ass got on that bike i'm like binky's mom drove her to the party well call binky's mom see if she'll pick you up binky's mom ain't got no job binky's mom ain't got no job binky's mom did not have a job it was true binky's mom drove a volvo i love you so much let's play this game okay oh my god when i tell you the tears in my eyes nobody in america look at how little food i ate honey what are you listening to mom your teen might not share everything with you but teens share everything with each other and certain everyday behaviors like sharing food drinks or kisses could mean sharing bacteria that can cause meningococcal disease known as meningitis although meningitis is uncommon about one in ten who develop it will die ask your teen's doctor about missing meningitis vaccinations learn more at meningitis.com vaccination may not protect all recipients sponsored by gsk so i love playing a game okay i love to play a game and we've got a game for you it's called you know who this feels very collegiate yeah i suspect to like start doing flip cup or quarters we're taking shots okay oh god no no i figure you'd probably do very well at this game since you um so pretend to profile people for a living i do pretend yes yes and so we're gonna get some clues okay they're gonna point to one person right in order to take the guess though you gotta hit the buzzer okay if you get it right you stack your cup oh fun this is enough about you know my glasses because now it's time to win oh no now you gotta focus yeah she was trying to be cute now it's time to win now it's time to win queen what's love queen what's love okay tina turner that is that's the only answer angela bassett yay but i don't know oh queen oh queen from black panther okay first i was like the band queen does the band queen have a song called what's love then i was like what is love baby don't hurt me don't hurt me okay i have to tell you something so they be setting me up okay i just want you to know they be setting me up so you can go ahead and stack your cup i will but i want y'all to know i did the thing my eye angela bassett did the thing oh she did the thing okay i want you to know right now my eyes are on you okay i'm watching you can see you okay so uh you stacked your cup you got a point he's already a little salty yeah i am yeah i'm a i'm a salty rim right now hee-haw red leather that is so loud and long it's such a long buzz it's just really um eddie murphy yay what's the hee-haw i actually don't know but red leather what got me what's the hee-haw donkey oh donkey that's a nice boulder that's a nice i see how this gonna go bark like a dog okay simba uh is it kim kardashian then it's then it's northwest all right well i'll give it to you even though you just put yeah i took it and one yeah i took it not southeast was the first y'all are petty boy i'll tell you what i i i happily don't know anything about the i don't know anything about the i don't know anything about the west children so i was happy to get that one to you family business ally family business what's coming to mind for you oh you went somewhere oh oh no no i actually don't have anything okay give us the next clue scary movie - This is one of the weigh-ins. - Oh! One of the Wayans brothers has a trans kid. Do you know his name? His last name is Wayans. It's not Damon. Nope. Marlon. Yay! Guys, I feel great about today. Today's going so well. It's going really well for me. I had one seventh of a piece of chicken. But you had a bite. I did my best. And you took the bread off. It's fine. Oh. Uma Thurman. Oh, now she's going to stay. She likes to win. That's Jada Pinkett Smith. Can you wear a white wedding dress, young lady? Oh. Pop, go to Weezer, because we will say pop. I have no idea what he's talking about. Nutty Professor. Oh, that's from Nutty Professor. Oh, what kind of? If you got to the entanglement part, I would have known what this was. I would have known that part. I'm proud of you. Yeah. Are we tied? No. Connie. And Beyonce. Connie Britton? Is it a country, somebody? Somebody country? Oh. Connie. And Beyonce? I don't have anything. Can we get another clue? Show me the loot. Oh, damn it all to him. Maya Rudolph. Damn you. Damn, damn, damn. But wait, why Connie? Connie the monster. The Hormone Woman. That's her name? Oh, yeah. Yeah, on the cartoon show. Tell her you hate her. Big mouth. I can't wait to take a bubble bath. Okay, now we're tied. Okay, here we go. Oh, yeah. Now we're tied. I need to be more aggressive. I'm going to go. He's a director. Here's the thing. As soon as I said he's a director, his name literally centers. His name literally just ran right. What's, what's? Ryan Cougar. Ryan Cougar. Literally, I said, you knew I knew I would or wouldn't. I should tell you with the steam. I think you're right. I think we both got that right. No, I don't think so. No. Why couldn't I think of his name? If you guess twice, I'm going to guess twice. I love him. He also has the most amazing accent. And the fact that he has been able to not only carve a life, but like pave it. Burst a whole new path. Yeah, it's really wonderful. And this centers now is like the first of many films and maybe even television shows. I just, it's great. It's great. I mean, it's really, it's been fun to talk about it with other people because I feel like so much of it feels like great traditional cinematic filmmaking mixed with like radical new ideas. And I was telling like someone who's like, I'm not afraid of horror movies. I'm like, this isn't even, you've never seen a movie like this before. Never seen a movie like this. It's so funny. And it's so different. It's so delightful. And then it's historical and then it's horror and then it's action. Like, and then it's a musical. Like you have never seen a movie like this before. Never. Delroy Lindo. I love Delroy Lindo so much. Delroy Lindo in this movie made me want gold teeth. This is, oh yes. I was like, you know what? Him and Stack. Yeah. Yeah, him and Stack both. I said, you know what? Stack had gold vampire teeth. Spoiler alert. Well, listen, if you ain't seen it yet, that's your bad. Insider dog. Insider and a dog. Somebody play a dog? But they were inside. They were an insider. Insider. Insider. Insider. Not you. Not you immediately went to go looking for a lighter. Lighter side. You know, when they look up and they love their light. They look down and to the right they're thinking. Oh, that's a profiler thing. I don't know that I have this right. Al Pacino? What made you say Al Pacino? Dog Day Afternoon. And I couldn't remember if it was the insider who played one of the guys at 60 Minutes, but it wasn't Al Pacino apparently. Insider. Insider. And dog. She's dead now. Martha Stewart? Yes! Oh, insider trading. Snoop Dogg? This is some parsimonious ass fucking. And also, that needs to have two G's. It should be a D-A-W-G or a D-O-G-G. D-O-double-G. Yes, I'm with you. But the she is dead now, thank goodness, is probably one of my favorite things. What is that from? So she was doing, she did this documentary on Netflix, but one of the things she was talking about was, was it New York Post writer? It was a writer for a paper in New York was covering her trial. And she was, again, that writer that said those terrible things about me. Well, she's dead now, thank goodness. Oh, salty. Then the doc comes out. The woman says, Bitch, I'm not dead. Bitch, I'm alive. Bitch, I'm not dead. Oh my God, that's amazing. Oh my God. Wishful thinking, Martha. Martha was like, well, you are to me. Bam. Mm-hmm. Mm. Tie it again. All right, here we go. Here we go. Slap. Chris. Will Smith. Oh, how rude. Chris Rock. What? Martin Lawrence. Martin Lawrence. Now, hold the hell up. I know, right? No, no, no, no, no. Hold the hell up. This is a hard swaddle. You got slap. This is a gas lamp. You got fresh press. Gas lamp. You got Big Mama. It's not Chris Rock. It's not Will Smith. It's not Martin Lawrence. It's a woman. It's a woman. We already said Jada Pinkett. Big Mama. I'm in just Big Mama's house. Wait. Y'all not talking. I want to take this and throw it in the pool. Knee along. Y'all, you know what? I don't even want the point. No. I love her, but that feels like. That does, what? Slap, you're talking about Taye Diggs. Fresh Prince, she was a guest. A guest star. Who's watched every episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? You ever wanted to fight people on your own team? All the time. Yeah. I mean, I'll fight them for you if you don't. Yeah, exactly. Right after I throw this buzzer in the pool. Is this me? Yes, go for it. Take the ticket. What? Take it. I know. You're pulling ahead. It's okay, I'm woman enough to take it. Here we go. Here we go. Oh, I'm not going to know this. The Queen. Crown Netflix. It could be a lot of different people. It could be two different shows. And I don't know any of them bitches' names. Right. So let's see this one. Crown Royal. Edible Flowers. You lost me. Edible Flowers. Netflix. Crown. But I don't know any of the -- I don't watch that show or any of those shows. Anything. Oh my God. How dare you? I know. Megan Sussex. Markle the Third. Is that right? Oh yeah, that's great. That was great. That was a good one. You won. You won. And I'm happy to get -- Oh my God. I will never be reappearing on this show again. She's dead. Oh, wait. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You won. You won. You won. You're dead to me. I need you to know -- Much like that reporter, he's dead to me right now. Oh my God. Yeah, I would not have gotten that at all. I went The Crown on Netflix. I was either thinking of The Crown or I was thinking of Bridgerton. But I do know Megan Sussex. Me, Megan. I know that she's no longer Megan Markle. Oh, she's Megan Sussex. Yeah, I don't know why you keep calling me Megan Markle. You know that my name is Megan Sussex. Yeah, explain the Edible Flowers. She does an Edible Flower. Does she have -- she goes to Edible Flowers in her yard? Well, not her yard. Apparently, it's the yard of a house that she rents that she does her show out of. As one does. As one does. What was that? So, had one house. Yeah. Then you rent another house. For the show that you had people at at your home. And then you have a garden at that house. And that garden has flowers. And then the staff from Oprah's house comes down occasionally to bring you fresh limes and borrow Edible Flowers. Yeah. They take a ride on the babbling brook down the hill from the house. Well, the flowers grow against the babbling brook. And then, and then -- Yes. The Oompa Loompas. The Oompa Loompas. The Oompa Loompas. Yeah. The Oompa Loompas. The Oompa Loompas. Yeah. They take a ride on the babbling brook down the hill. Well, the flowers grow against the babbling bro. And then the Oompa Loompas. I love you so. What a joy. Oh, my goodness. You are the bomb. What a joyful, joyful experience this has been. You're so great. If you have not subscribed, hit the subscribe button right now. You don't want to miss moments like these. Like these. Come on, neighbor. Pull up. Edible flowers. Edible flowers. Next to the babbling bro. I think I'm doing it wrong. No, no, we're definitely doing it wrong. You thought you had fancy eyes. If you're not able to season your food with the flour, you're doing it all wrong.