AEE: Is This English Vocabulary Telling?

This is an all-ers English podcast. Is this English vocabulary telling? Welcome to the All-Ears English podcast downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection with your American host, Aubrey Carter, the Isles Wiz, and Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer. Coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, USA. And to get your transcript delivered by email every week, go to allyearsenglish.com/subscribe. Are you a direct speaker? Today, find out how to say that there's more information in something that is being said. Listen in for tips on culture and connection today. Are you still translating from your native language into English in your head? Are you always getting confused between the different grammar tenses? Let's figure out what you need to work on. Find your current English level with our five-minute quiz at allyearsenglish.com/fluencyscore. Hey there, Aubrey. How's it going today? I'm great. How are you, Lindsay? Good. I have a question for you. Think back to your wedding experiences. Not your wedding, but when you went to a wedding. Yeah, many weddings. Have you ever been surprised by your seating assignment? You know how an American culture once we're at the reception and maybe we've done some or derbs or a happy hour, then we go and we sit down for dinner. And there's always little seating plates, right? Names seats are assigned almost always at weddings in the states. It's true. And yes, I went to a wedding in Cancun not that long ago. And I was surprised. I had friends. I have some friends that are a little bit younger than me that were all at a table together. And my husband and I were at the table with like older friends and maybe some in love. Like, oh, I think they think I'm older than I think that I am. That I feel like I am. Yeah, I was on the old these table. The old these tables. So this is so interesting. These seating charts at weddings can be very telling because we understand like kind of how our friends see us a little bit. And maybe it's not the end all be all of how they see us, but in that moment, for that night, it is telling. It's telling. It can tell you like if they're trying to set us up with someone, right? I know when we got married, we were trying to set up two single people and set them up together. Yes, you're matchmaking. Yeah. And then we, and then, you know, who we think is going to get along with each other. Right. It really does. It's very telling. Godbraith. Yes. And this came up in a recent episode where you said wedding seating charts are telling. Yes. And we realized, oh, that's interesting vocabulary. And we promised to follow up. And here it is. I'm excited about this vocab today. Just hope that you don't end up like at the kids' table or something. I mean, it would be worse to be at the kids' table than with the old these, the old these tables. I'm not sure. Actually, I would like to be at the younger one like, oh, they think I'm so young at heart. But not kids. No. I'm not like seven year olds now. Right. Oh, so fun. I feel like that's been in some movies here and there where I like a good show. First man ends up at like the kids' table. And it's just like, it's very telling. So tell us what this, tell us what it means, Aubrey, telling. OK. Yeah. So we're going to dive into telling and some related vocab today. But guys, be sure to hit follow wherever you are listening to the podcast. If you're not following all those English, you are missing bonus content. A lot of amazing podcasts. So hit follow wherever you listen. Yes. Exactly. Just to get into it today, the key piece of vocabulary we want you guys to come away with is this word telling. This is an adjective. All right. And this is showing or revealing important information about a person, a situation, or a truth, right? A truth often more than was maybe intended or given directly in the message. Yeah. It's a lot more about what's implied, what's understood, that's not directly said, right? So here's an example. Imagine you open my freezer and it's full of ice cream. That would be very telling. I'd be like, I want to hang out with you. I'd definitely want to hang out at your house. OK. We could be friends. We could be friends. For sure. Clearly, I have a sweet tooth. We like ice cream. And if there's no sweets, no ice cream, that's also very telling. Oh, these people are pretty healthy. Or if your fridge is empty, it's probably telling. It probably means you travel a lot. Maybe you are like a consultant jet setting around the world. It's so busy. Right. You have one piece of moldy cheese in there. You maybe you live a very global cosmopolitan life, right? That's telling. I've heard this about people who work at restaurants or as cooks. That they-- I mean, it makes sense. If you're cooking all day, you might not want to cook at home as well. So they probably have empty fridges. And I also think, of course, the kind of car you drive can be very telling about how you spend money. I mean, some people have theories about driving skills of people who drive certain cars. Yeah. And this is sort of a famous assumption in the states, at least, that someone having a midlife crisis will suddenly buy a red sports car. So if you see an older person with a red sports car, that's very telling usually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Sometimes we can dip into stereotypes, but it's fun, right? Maybe then we would ask that person, hey, what's going on in your life, right? Yeah. Hey, yes. Just poke her out a little bit. Or whether you like shopping, I mean, how you answer certain questions, do you enjoy going to the mall and buying new clothing? Or do you hate it? I think on our team, we have a very non-shopping crowd over here. Right? Someone's wardrobe is very telling. I love Alan Cumming. He's on traders. He's the host. He's so funny. And he wears the most amazing elaborate outfits. They're very telling about his personality and the fashion he loves. So good. And sometimes what you don't say is very telling. So for example, I love this sample sentence. Her pause before answering was very telling, right? Because you ask someone an important question, and they don't immediately say the answer you're looking for, that's loaded, right? There's more there than it seems. Yes. And I love you is loaded as well. It means the same as telling. Like there's a lot implied. If ever we put some time, was we pause intentionally to highlight our hesitation or our disagreement, right? Or we don't. We're like, just paused. And then there's still a lot that can be read into that. Or body language, Aubrey. What would be another example? Yeah, maybe the way he avoided eye contact was telling. So maybe he feels guilty. Maybe something like that. And it's telling when someone won't look you in the eyes. And this is a tricky one, because this is so different culturally, right? Definitely. Like in a place in Asia, it could be respectful to not look someone in the eyes in the US. It's disrespectful. So we need-- Yeah. --such a good point. And we can't make assumptions across cultures like this with someone who is-- American lives in the United States. I can maybe think something is telling. But if I know they're from another culture, I definitely wouldn't assume that. Yeah, really tough. So there's a culture layer. There's the personality layer. There's the stereotypes. There's a lot here. But these are things can be telling. There will be another way of saying the same thing, Aubrey. Yeah, so revealing, showing something that was previously hidden or not obvious, very similar. His hesitation was revealing of how unsure he felt. Or the silence after the question was very revealing. And that's similar to what we just talked about. What do they say? Like a pregnant pause is what they call it. Yes, a pregnant pause. That's great. It means a loaded pause. It's kind of a long pause. But there's something that can be assumed. Something's being implied by that pause. Yes. And then the next one is indicative. I like this one. Make sure we get the pronunciation right here. It's not indicative. It's indicative. How do we spell that out, Aubrey? Yeah, so it's I-N-D-I-C-A-T-I-V-E. And this is tricky because we have indicate. So you would maybe think it's pronounced like that. But then we add that I-V-E. And then it's indicative. Yes, the stress goes on the dip, right? The dip sound. So again, serving as a sign or a signal of something, right? So for example, his tone was indicative of frustration. So this is a slightly more formal soundings. Great for work. But it's not overly formal for conversations. I would say this about someone like, hmm, your tone is indicative of a bit of frustration, I feel. Yeah, it's formal. It sounds formal to me, a little bit more formal. The low turnout is indicative of declining interests, right? Right. So you could definitely see this reported at a board meeting, something like that. Like these stats, these numbers are indicative of low sales, something like that. Or striking. If something is striking, it's obvious. It's noticeable. It's impactful, right? Yeah. So for example, the contrast in their responses was striking. So really the same, you could say it was telling, right? There's something more here, right? And this for striking, it's very noticeable to everyone. Very, you know, it's not subtle. Yeah. And again, it's the things we don't say. What she didn't say was striking, right? So that's the interesting part of conversation. It's what people don't say that can tell so much more sometimes, right? Exactly, right? When something is omitted that you would expect them to say, there is a lot that can be assumed sometimes. Love it. All right, Aubrey. So, you know, there's other things other kind of expressions or idioms. We might use the phrase that says, has a lot, right? Or that speaks volumes. Or, oh, that tells you everything you need to know. And these have the same meaning. They're just sort of expressions we use that means like, if it was a pause or something, we're saying like, okay, there's a lot that can be right into that. - Yeah, I think I mentioned this on an earlier episode, maybe a few months ago, but I recently rewatched, he's just not that into you, do you know that? - Yes, I just rewatched that with my daughter as well. - That's so good. - It's a plane movie. It's an airplane movie for sure, but it's a great one. It's light, it's fun. I actually really like the movie. - I do too. - It's great. - Yeah. And I think that really goes into this idea of, if you're dating someone and they're not getting back to you after the first date, right? That tells you everything you need to know. I think the whole narrative of that movie is that women convince themselves that he's afraid or he's nervous or he, or something, but-- - Maybe he's just not that into you. - Maybe he's just not that into you, right? - The blue wall, I've heard people referring to the blue wall of text, you know how your text will be blue and there's will be green or white or vice versa. - Sure. - But if it's all your color, like you've sent several texts and not heard from them, that is telling. - Yeah, flashback from the dating world, right? - Right. - Or friends, right? If you're like, okay, the ball's in their court. I need to let them respond to me. - I know, well that's the thing about friendship. Like both sides have to be pretty good at making an effort. - Yes. - That's hard if someone isn't. They're like, oh, okay, I'm hard. - It's hard. - Yeah, they're not that good of friends. Maybe they're not that into me. - Yeah, they're exactly into my friendship. - All right, so let's see how this plays out in a role play. So here we're two friends talking about, oh, we're talking about dating. - There you go. So talking about, we have a mutual friend and we're talking about their date. - Okay, here we go. - So I don't think Alex's date went well last night. - Seems that way. The fact that she still hasn't texted him back is pretty telling. - Yeah, and he said he had fun, but his tone was striking, not exactly enthusiastic. - Right, and that was pretty revealing. - I think that kind of hesitation is definitely indicative of disappointment. - Yeah, and the fact that he immediately changed the subject. - Yeah, that speaks volumes. Well, that's funny. I didn't know our role play was gonna be about dating, but it turns out it is. (laughing) And it makes sense, right? Because a lot, things like dating, there's a lot that isn't said directly. There's a lot, you know, people don't wanna hurt each other's feelings. So often you will just go someone or just knock your back from them forever and then you have to recognize there's a lot of meaning. It's very telling the fact that they're not responding. - Right, people could waste years just like waiting for your back from someone, but you just gotta move on, right? - Move on. - So there we go, that's the lesson of the day. So here we go, so you said, "I said I don't think Alex's date went well and you said it seems that way. The fact that she still hasn't texted him back is pretty telling, right? So we're saying it seems like, there's something implied here. She wasn't interested. She probably didn't really like the date, it's telling. - Right, but it sounds like both of them maybe didn't like it because then we said he said he had fun, but his tone was striking, not exactly enthusiastic. - Right. - It sounds like neither of them were really that into it. - That works well. - His tone was, exactly. It's for the best. There's no second date here. - Right, right. - And then striking, just meaning like, it was really obvious to you, right? The tone was sort of surprising in a very obvious way. - Mm-hmm. And then you said, right, now what is this right all about, Aubrey? - Yeah. - He's been waiting for this a lot on the podcast when I'm looking through transcripts so we say, right, a lot. - Oh, okay. - As a way of agreeing, right? It's a very common in American English. You're saying, it wasn't very enthusiastic. And instead of saying, yes, I agree. I say, right. - Right, and sometimes, right, I just did it again. And sometimes I say it at the end because I'm looking for agreement from you. And sometimes you say it at the beginning when you, essentially you are agreeing by starting your phrase, by saying, right? - Mm-hmm. We say right or exactly. There are these words where we're sort of passing the conversation baton back and forth to each other that are these words that are often used, especially in American English. - Yeah, I could see as doing another episode Aubrey one day on three intonations with right. That would be a really cool episode. - That would be fun. - I would love to know if you love that idea because it's essentially pulling from our transcript, pulling from what we say on the show. There are three different intonations that we use and they're all appropriate in casual conversation. - Okay. - Right, it could be a statement, an exclamation, a question. - Yeah, that would be really true. - A really good episode coming up soon here. So let's see. And then I said, I think that kind of hesitation is definitely indicative of disappointment. It sounded like a formal sentence to me, right? - Yeah, it's a little formal, but definitely works, right? You're just saying. And sometimes we'll use words like this that are sort of formal playfully, like this, right? I could imagine your tone changing and being like, I think that kind of hesitation is definitely indicative of disappointment, right? - You're sort of like exaggerating and kind of being playful about it. - Sure, being playful, yeah. And then you said, the fact that you immediately changed a subject and I said, yeah, that speaks volumes. So, you know, we're not explicitly saying, okay, they're not into each other, but we don't need to, because we're using the answer. - We're dancing around it a little bit. - We're dancing around it. - Yeah, and we don't know. Neither of them has actually told us anything. We're just sort of sharing what we've read into what we do know. - Yes, very interesting. Aubrey, what's another great episode our listeners could go to right away? - If you missed it, go check out 2577, can versus can't, three pronunciation tips. This is a very common error. We give you all the details you need to make sure you can hear the difference and say the difference between these two words. - Yeah, such an incredibly important episode. So, Aubrey, what's our final takeaway for today? What does it mean for connection? This has been a real connection episode, don't you think? - Absolutely, because we often won't say things directly in English, we're sort of sharing that something's telling, something's implied, because often it would be rude to come out and say it. So, this is really a conversation skill to have this vocabulary at your disposal. - Yeah, and we talked about the cultural layer, something very simple like eye contact, but there's also the cultural layer of how much does your culture use these phrases? It's very telling, it's very revealing, versus just saying the thing. That might also be culturally different around the world. - Right? - Absolutely. It's interesting, but definitely in the United States in some English-speaking countries, we are trying to save face. We're trying to not be so direct. - Yeah, I think we are, like I think our level of directness falls somewhere in the middle, right? We are a little bit more direct than some Asian cultures, but I think we're less direct than Scandinavia, right, parts of, and these are broad, very broad generalizations, but there is data. You can look up skills and data and research on this stuff. We're not as direct as northern European speakers in a lot of ways in American culture, because you just said it, Aubrey, we try to save face, right? We try to imply the message to some extent, but not quite as much as you might see in other, in other less direct cultures. Super interesting. - Yeah, so we actually have a lot of interesting content about this in one of our newest courses, Professional English Level 2, goes a lot into different cultures and these contexts. - That's true. - So that if you're working with anyone from any of these cultures, you can be successful, not make assumptions or give offense accidentally. - Yeah, and of course, anytime you're working with culture, always check that against your own experience with this individual person in front of you, right? They're not just their culture, they're their personality, they're age, they're family, they're so many, they're a product of so many things. So be open to that too, but we can have the knowledge of culture, we can supplement it with the knowledge of the person in front of us, that's the connection, right? - Absolutely. - Yeah, so good. Awesome, good stuff today, Aubrey, we'll see you soon. All right? - Awesome. - See you guys next time. - Bye. (upbeat music) - Thanks for listening to All Ears English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two-minute quiz, go to allhearsenglish.com/fluencyscore. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time. (upbeat music)