Adam Ray Is Back!

What up, whiskey, Jager fans. Welcome back to the show. It's your first time joining the show. Welcome to the show. We got a good one for you today, like we're man Steve Harvey done, say, and hey, hey, hey, it's ho ho, ho, homers tomorrow Saturday, December 6, LA Valley College. If you're in the Los Angeles metro area, I would love to see you. We're having a home run derby competition for special Olympics. All the proceeds are going to go to them. We have so much cool stuff, come hit dingers off of celebrities. Some of the names that might be there, maybe Bill Burm, maybe Bert Kreischer. I don't know, we'll see, probably, including Bobby Lee. And also a bunch of silent auction items, including signed jerseys from cool professional athletes that donated some merch and their time, as well as some other very cool secretive gifts. So come on out, LA Valley College. Also, we'll put the link in the description down below. So you can sign up if you don't live in the area and you can't make it, please donate. It would mean a lot to us trying to raise a bunch of money for Southern California Special Olympics. Donating is just as good. We're doing a big donation from the bad friends family. And I'd love to see you there or I'd love to see you help out during the holidays. I love you. I appreciate you. Also in the new year, I'm doing a bunch of shows. So go to Andresantina.com for those tickets. I'm running around the country doing some casinos. Andresantino.com. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. Oh, that creature in the ginger field. Sturdy. Ginger. Like that. The ginger gene is a good. Ginger is a fugitive. You only five dollars for the whiskey. 75 dollars for the whole. Ginger's our hell now. Swisk and yours. Excellent. Ginger. I like ginger. Start the show. Hey, guys, welcome back to whiskey ginger. If it's the first time on the show, welcome to the show. Top of the morning to you. We are here in the whiskey ginger studios. But if you haven't subscribed, go ahead and click that button below. We have road dates. I'll be in San Francisco, Brea this weekend. Brea, I think that might be right. Actually, I think I watched the episode last week. But it's, I'm all over the way to Andresantino.com. I guess today is one of my favorite people of all time. I said about every episode, but I mean this because he is it because I've actually known for a long time. He's the only Jewish guy I've ever seen his penis. Please give it up for Adam Ray. You think you're the only Jew that I've seen their dick? Let's run it back one more time. Welcome back to whiskey ginger. Who else? Who's the first Jew dick you saw? Great band name. Jew dick. What's up Seattle? I just saw this clip and I reshared it. Great story, Adam. No, I reshared it and it was a guy, a heavy metal band. And he just goes, it shows two black security guards in the forefront of the clip. I like to paint a picture. Yeah. Well, you did. It's pretty dark. Bob Ross, let's make two little black security guards. And so, uh, and so they're in the forefront and it's a super heavy metal guy. And he goes, he goes, you guys know this next song and you see the two guys just, you know, doing what they do at the front of the stage, just looking forward. And the guy goes, this next song is about shooting blood out of your cock. And one of the security guards to the other guy just goes, but the most like, what the fuck? And it says when you don't know what you signed up for, what the fuck did you say? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like they were just doing a concert, but yeah. So shooting blood out of the dog. Yeah, that's that's dark days. It's a bat. You got to go sums up if that happens. Who's the first Jew, uh, Jew dick you saw? First one. And was it circums? I actually, this reminds me of a funny, a real funny story. Cool. This is like the meanest thing ever. I was like nine and my dad. I was like coming out of the shower. Left. Oh, no, that was my story. Yeah, that's yours. I was one in my dad left. So I beat you by eight years. Nice try. I don't know if the guy we, I know we've talked about pops, I got went to jail for drugs. Your dad was like, I can't handle this family. What about how we left? I can't handle this family. I'm trying to do this. My dad was like, I need the drugs in my dad. My step dad saw me coming out of the bathroom, walking into the room. And we were, I like we were fighting or arguing or something. And I saw me naked. And he goes, let's hope that grows. That hurt so much. And by the way, you get five. That's pop of on. And by the way, it didn't. It's the same size since I was. So jokes on you. My penis is still inadequate. Do you know how about that when your dad does that? That's like such a fucking, that's also though, that's why you're a comedian. My dad would have never said that. I mean, maybe he did call me, I don't know if he called me a pussy, when I had a sunburn and we were on some trip at Lake Powell. And he, I had, he gave me Advil. I was in, I think I was 11 or 12. And the summer was so bad that he's like, you have to take Advil to, you know, just try to get the pain to stop. I mean, that was, it was bad. I probably should have gone to the hospital. And he, I couldn't, Swallow, I couldn't just, I didn't have to wear with all the swallow. And he was like, let's put it in bread. And he was getting so angry. Put it in that bread to like swallow it. So, you know, you fed fuck at least, probably eat the drugs. You got gluten, gluten added Advil. Yeah. So, so I, I finally got it down. But he was getting really upset that I couldn't swallow it. And he might have called me a pussy. So that's a, that's the one like jab, I feel like when I try to write this. And it hurt. Let me pitch this new joke. Oh, yeah, I pitch a joke. I'm trying to read it. Well, welcome to Whiskey Ginger's pitch that joke. So this is trying to do a joke about like, you know, not needing religion to, um, uh, to justify being a good person. And I go, not needing religion to justify being a good person. Yeah. Like the people that don't need to be godly to be good. Yeah. Like it's a pretty easy form. Like, like a woman that might show in forward this weekend was like, I know you're afraid of flying. I'd love to, and I went to my car to get some. I know you're Jewish, but I want to give you a Bible. I go, hard pass. I go, I'm all good. I go, appreciate though. I go, did you want to picture though? And she goes, well, at least you're going to die. Like you read this. You know where you're going. I go, I say, I don't even want to do that. I want to think that the plane's going to fucking somehow rectify the sitch and we're going to coast to, uh, to safety. All right. I don't want to be just go, what's happening? Let me see where, what exit am I going to take? And she was like, Oh, she was, that's a real bummer. So as you know, I'll talk to that guy. She goes over to Sandy to Sandy, Danto. And I go, Oh, please don't, I go, please don't do that. Yeah. She goes, I think I'll be into it. And as look over, I see Sandy just going, yeah, but so, so I go to the joke is, Sandy, the guy that looks more Jewish than you, she went to, she went to the scale of, like, rabbi rabbi. Right. And so I go, uh, so I go, the joke is like, um, you know, I go, my mom, being a good person, it comes down to three simple things. My mom gave me the golden rule of, uh, shout out to put in, of, uh, treat people the way you want to be treated. If you know anything nice, don't say anything to all, uh, don't say anything at all. And don't judge a book by its cover because that book might be bipolar like your father. And then I go, do you remember the swings? Uh, and then I, and then I go, my dad was bipolar. He said me, this birthday cards would be like, son, I can't believe the, um, I go, I never realized he was bipolar. And I look back at some of the birthday cards and he's like, uh, son, I just, I can't believe, you know, the, uh, the times we've had, you've grown to such a wonderful young man. Do you remember the swings and when I would push you on them, uh, memories, my violent mood swings when I would push you. Anyway, happy birthday, bitch. P.S. You ain't getting them out to shit. Like, Jesus Christ, Adam, is that a joke? No, that's a real card I got. And I wanted to, jokes are fun. We're all having a good time today. Show, but sometimes you mask a joke with a real text you got from your dad. Yeah. And I'll be at today veterans day. He was a veteran shot out. Him proud to be an American with least gun. No, I'm free. Shout out to America's Ted Nuget, who will be headlining the turning points alternative half time show. I'll tell you what I don't get. It's all these trans women. You got bad bunny headline and that main highlight. I don't, I hear we need Ted Nuget and Kate, right? Bad bunny. I don't want that Puerto Rican salsa dance. And up on me. It's right. That suck is dig the game off me. You think I want to watch my wife watch that little Cuban boy shake his penis around during half time. He's not Cuban. Yeah. Well, he smells like it, all the same to me. Probably when I bad groceries at Albertson's and I had a little bit of a tan going one summer and a woman thought I was Cuban. She's like, what you could get away with? You could get away with something. Yeah, a little bit of beard. I'm something, a little bit of tan. I'm something. But when we met, when we met, you were Italian. Oh, yeah. When I met you, you had that long, long hair. Yeah, Joe had a long pic of him. There's one out there. I'll follow. We long dark hair when I first met you. Yeah. Like a lion's mane. Yeah. When you're, when you were fresh out of school, you were more of a white guy and now you're more of, say it. An old Jew. I do. I do. I am. No. I am. I did like jump into the pool. All right. Well, you did fill your pool with coins. That I thought that was weird. Well, Scrooge McDuck said it best. Was it Scrooge McDuck is Scrooge McDuck said, McDuckman Scrooge McDuckman. By the way, that he has to be a Jew. There's no chance he's not. Yeah. What is he doing? Horting all that money. He's trying to catch the bugle boys. They did make duck because they wanted to sound to the duck because there wasn't what's a Jewish duck last name? Look at that. I'm right. That's that's that's high school. After he went here, after he went to SC, you should have seen what he looked like. He was the long hair vest, a pie, pants didn't fit. A pie, the Jew fret. I know it. You think I don't know your resume. You're one of my oldest friends in the world. Do you do? Man, you, man, you have so many years in the can of getting absolutely stoned off our gourds and songs at night. I said you a voice. No three years ago because I was driving right by your old place. A lot of great memories on Laurel deal. No, no, no, the Harper house, Harper house. Yeah. And we got stoned. We were walking back, I think from Hudson, maybe. Or Hudson or something. No, no, that's right. We were working up the street from the improv. Yeah. Yeah. And we're just stoned walking through and just, you know, and this is why it's important. to have buds when you're starting out with, that are keeping things light, and where you can like talk about the rhythm, a role, and the grind of like what's happening, and talk shit about how tough this is, and whatever. But at the end of the day, like, end, almost like going to bed happy if you fight with your gal, you're at least like going to bed. We'd at least be silly at the end, so we'd leave being like, all right, like, fuck, we're gonna run to this back tomorrow and see how it goes. - Yeah. - And we're just like running through the streets. I don't even know how we got on it, but we start singing this song that goes, ♪ People of the world got something to say ♪ - I think we're talking about people, like, just-- - No, because we were-- - Criticists are on Facebook. - Yeah, yeah, people were just like, you know, it might've been though. - I think you said something, you were like, everybody's got something to fucking say. And I was super stoned, and I was like, "People in the world, they got something to say, man." I think it was just you were annoyed at like, we put up a post, I think we had maybe done a video, or like you just put up a video, and people were criticizing it, and you were like, "Man, what the fuck?" - Everyone's got some fucking opinion. - Yeah. - And I was like, "People of the world, they got. " And you started dancing in the street. ♪ People of the world got something to say ♪ ♪ People of the world, people of the world, people of the world ♪ - You know what the funniest part about that was? - If somebody saws, just that's the way to be like, "Fuckin' the gays are takin' over again." (laughing) 'Cause we were dancing. - Is this Whiskey Gager? No tanks. - Yeah, we were dancing in the street. We were dancing in the street outside of my apartment. - We had funny. - Those nights were on-- - The formative. - Just unreplaceable. You can't do that ever again. - We're having a good time. - We're having a good, all the time. Dusty Slay, shout out to Dusty Slay. - Everyone, is that what he says? - I think so. - He's one of the funniest dudes, man. - So funny. - He cracks me the fuck up. His demeanor is perfect. - What do you think he locked in on first? The hair, the voice, the catchphrase. - That's total package. I think that came as one. - It just comes together. - It came as one. - He's always been that guy. - Wait, time out, back up. First Jew penis I saw. - Thank you. - I'll give it to you. You ready? - I think so. - So I don't know if I've ever told you this. I had an uncle Ira, okay? He's alive. - My dad's no name. - Okay, I had an uncle Ira. And here I am as a young man in Chicago. And we called him Uncle Ira. This is through my dad, the Santino side. - Yes. - I'm like, there's a kid at school named Ira. He's like a little Jewish guy. I was like, we have an uncle Ira. How does that fit into the Santino? Only till I was like 13 did I do this. I was like, oh, he's not my real uncle. He was just like a good friend of the family that we called Uncle Ira. And he was a gay Jewish man who was good friends with my family and was around for all the holidays. I think 'cause he didn't have a family. - Gotcha. - Or they weren't stoked about his choices. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know, turning gay and Jewish. 'Cause you flip, right? - You get one. - You can't do both. That's nuts. - How much did that? - Well, I didn't pick 'em 'cause he was a gay and a Jew. But I'm an a man. I worked in a McDonald's for 57 years. I'm only 53. That's mathematically impossible. But I'm an American. (laughing) - It's a little Bobcat going away. - Yeah, dude. It's a little Bob. - Hey, hey, hey, hey, you're not an American. - He was, by the way, a guy who put on such a good character. - Yeah. - I did JFL with him. I did like a JFL. - No way. - And we sat in the car, we drove together. - And he was like, how are you doing? I was like, oh, fuck it, I didn't know you had it there. - Those are one of the coolest parts about those festivals is getting into the van with other people. - With other famous comics? - Yeah, and you're young and you're like, - What? - Only a few people have, but at least from my vantage point, nobody really was getting their own transportation. They're like, yeah, I'll go with the fucking the van that's taking everybody. - We all had to ride together. Yeah, nowadays I'm sure that's not the same. - No, no, no. - I don't even know if it still exists anymore. - Well, what was I talking about? - Jupingness. - So Ira came over. - On Ira. - And so wait, so, but not even like a real family member, but he was Uncle Ira. - Uncle Ira. - We had a few of those. My dad had a guy, I think he was Uncle Steve. My sister to this day is always like, he was fucking weird. And I was like, it seemed cool with me. Like, yeah, 'cause you didn't have fucking. - You didn't have boobs. - Little boobs. - Yeah, right, he was a creep. - Two shea. - Two shea. - Yes, I did. - Yeah. - I'm going to share it a bra. - You did have nice tits as a little boy. - I did. - Those pictures are fucking funny. - The video of me on a slip-and-slide, I should put it on only fans, but it's-- - Slip-and-stuck really. - Oh! - Oh! (laughing) - There you go. - Water was, water had nothing on me. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Pumped the brakes. - The viscosity of water wasn't strong enough for how fucking chubby that's so-- - That's so fucked. There is a video of me just going down, getting a face full of water, and then popping up. Like, I think I did post this years ago, 'cause somebody was just like, you weren't fucking that bad. And then I pop up and I'm like, somebody reposted it and put it in slow-mo, because as I popped up, I was like-- - And then I was just like, "Yeah, boo boo, boo, boo, boo, yeah." - You did look like a different guy. By the way, you could have gone, you could be a different guy. Adam Ray, if you never got skinny, you could be a pudgy Adam Ray comedian, would be a totally different character. - Yeah. - It'd be weird to see you as a fat guy. - I should just like get in the fat suit for like a month and just go around town. - Like, what's her name did that? - Tyra. - Tyra Banks? - But like, what didn't she do it? - You know what it feels like to be fat. - I know, she just missed a fucking mark on that one. - That was like when those kids, when the celebrities went to space, quote unquote, like Katy Perry and all them went to fucking cities. - Well, that, I, you're like fucking a fucker. You guys doing. - I believe that that was, I think we, I think we did the first time. I have no reason to believe we didn't. - Didn't what? - Go to the moon. - Oh, brother, we never went to the fucking moon. - Really? Okay, what do you think? - Yeah, I don't know, okay. - Have you ever seen the videos of that thing? - Yeah, I guess they're pretty-- - Well, Kim Kardashian just came over, she was like, it's not, it didn't. And so that was like, I don't know who she and I aligned. - Who's filming? - Who's filming? - Great call. - I love when they're like, we left a camera back there. It was like, what? What are you talking, no, you didn't. Go ahead, pipe up. I know you want to say something. - I was gonna say based on the shadows that the moon casted on the people, the limitation of lights at the time would have made the perpendicular shadows actually impossible. - That's the sound of all the pussy's drying up. - The limitations of the, quote is, wait, how do you-- - Well, frankly, the light refraction was-- - The moon is actually, it's the brightest odd for me in the life. - For the big favor. - Fuck you. - Dude, I fucking hate this kid. He's the best. - How do you know that? - 'Cause he's a fucking film. - Well, also 'cause I'm a big Kubrick fan and sometimes it annoys me. I'm trying to get a Kubrick discussion with somebody and they're like, well, what about the moon landing? And I'm like, the moon landing happened. Why would Russia say that it happened? - Thank you. - It was in the middle of the Cold War. - Thank you. - Why would they agree? - Now Katy Perry and Gail King, they didn't go. Because when Chris Thompson just went out to the atmosphere, they went into space technically. They didn't go to the fucking moon. - Oh, that's right. - They didn't claim to go to the moon. - No, dude, they said they were just going in the outer space. - Well, I don't think they even went out of space. - Ready? - That's the sound of Adam's brain. - Slowly. - I've been loading. - Yeah. - Ah! - George Clooney and Gravity. - Well, you really think we went to the fucking moon? - Yeah. - You're nuts. - I don't understand why it was the height of, like, there's so much beef between different countries with the US. Why would the other country be like, oh, yeah, they did that. Like, that doesn't make any sense. - Well, because it was the '70s. What the fuck did they know? They couldn't tell that we were in it. - It was 1969. - Yeah, okay, 1969. - 1969. - 1969. They didn't know that we didn't go. How the fuck did they know? - Well, why would, if there was any-- - This is like before forensic evidence. - If they could kill someone just got away with it, they would be like, they didn't go. Like, Russia would be the first people to be like, cause they'd be able to crack those codes. - They would never be able to figure that out. - I know, but they wouldn't agree with it. If they had any shred of evidence, they'd be like, oh, yeah, they faked it. - They were looking for any excuse to say that we faked it. - Follow-up. - Mermaids. What do you stand? - Those might be real. - No. - Okay. - Not mine. - We don't know what they are. - In our real. Have you ever heard that the hauling at night on the boats, the mermaid calls, the mermaid sirens. - Those are-- - Wow. - For real? - Yeah. You never heard that? - No. - Here, he could bring up a sound. Do they have holes? - Yeah. - Oh. - Bro, the object. - I bet you, that smells like fish. - Oh. - There's a guy in my show, my late show, at Heinez's Pass Weekend in Fort Worth, and he goes, I go, what's your name? He goes, "Curti from Alaska," and I go, "And Cody, what do you do here in Fort Worth?" From Alaska, "Curti from Alaska," and I go, "We established that, and what do you do out there?" I go, "What for fun?" He goes, "Fish." I go, "You catch any fish?" He goes, "I catch all the fish." And I go, "He got all the fish." - I go, "All the fish?" He goes, "Oh, yeah." He goes, "I'm faster than a salmon." - He's probably-- that's actually probably true. - Yeah. - Yeah, he's probably faster than that. - Yeah, yeah. He-- - By the way, did you get some salmon from that guy? - I should have. I've only been to Alaska once. There was a bar called Chilcut Carly, Chil-Kut-Charles. It's like a-- - Turncoat Charlie's? - Chil-Kut-Charles. It's like a bar that's been there for like 50 years. - Is this a Beatles song? - Yes, and it has about 16 different rooms in it. One of them is called the Bird Room because there was like an earthquake, and the room was like on level. It's literally got like 15 little bars in it. And it was like the-- maybe a second time I ever had a headline, I met somebody in the patio of the store after an open mic, and they're like, "You want to come headline a week at Chilcut? We'll give you like 800 bucks for a week." And I was like, "Let's go." - Sure. - And did a show every night, and then hung out there, and I remember they had a little food window inside the bar giving out fish sandwiches. And on the last night, one of the guys was like, "Do you want to go see the strip club?" And I was like, "Never seen an Alaskan strip club. Let's go." So I put a little catch up on my fish sandwich, and I was some of you were like, "That's a weird move." But you know-- - Catch up? - Yes. - On a fish sandwich? - Yes. - Fried fish? - Great, thank you. So, I am eating it and I'm putting on some meat to go-- will bite, some catch a bit, spoke to my pants. I go in, it's like 138, and I've got 22 minutes before they shut down, and the strippers go walk back into the wilderness, and you know, back to their igloos. Turned it back to their igloos, and I sit down, and the guy goes, "Great, who's Kimberley, give my man a dance." You know, I was like, "Oh, this guy really runs a place." I sit down, she starts dancing on me. She looks down after about a minute and a half, she goes, "You know you're bleeding, right?" I was like, "You know you were still dancing, "for the whole time, right?" And she's like, "Yeah, I've seen crazy or shit here." And I was like, "Oh, gross." Okay, for some money, get into the cab, the guy who dropped me off and just left, so I'm just out there front, and the hula-gins outside of an Alaskan strip club when it closes, it's like a video game nightclub. It was just all these people, you were like, I didn't know we had these types of people, but it's Alaska's out in the woods. Like people that were just like, "You know, I gotta get back to my moose," are like, "You know, I got a staring contest with a beaver in about 30 minutes, because every type of person, and I get into the cab, and then he goes, "How was the strip club, my man?" I go, "Oh, dude." Well, a little case of the ketchup pants, and he goes, "Been there." I was like, "What the fuck, you have been there?" Impossible you haven't been there. - Ketchup pants, and you still kept those pants. - Same as I'm wearing right now. - Never washed them. - It's Adam Ray Comedy.com for two-a-day tickets. The Who Is Me Tour right now is on sale. - It's on sale, there's about 32 dates up there. - 32 dates, theaters, all theaters. - How many days is it? - How many dates is it? - It's about 30, I think? - I think I guess right. - Yeah. - I just eyeballed it when you sent me the photo. - We're finishing up clubs the rest of the year. Big, the last Phil show, December 16th of the well-turned, and then the more theater in Seattle first time, December 19th, but The Who Is Me Tour? That's where you get tickets. Portland, Vegas, we're gonna be Vegas at the same time. - In March? - Yeah. - Are you really? Where are you playing? - The win. - Oh, that's right, you're the night before me. - Yeah. - Hmm, we'll see about that. - We'll see about that. - We should compare to see who sells out first. Make a little bit, it's gonna be you. - Okay. - It's my first time doing theaters, you've done them. You've been-- - This is your first theater tour. - Yeah. - Oh, it's awesome. - Thank you. - Well, I mean, you know. - It was moving that way. You gotta, but who knows? - We'll see, 'cause I've heard some of the fans are. We're not happy. - Like, dude, is he running his divorce material on podcast, dude? - Adam, what's going on? And then my dad, fucking fat, my tits. Boo, I'm fat. - My tits. - I get my tits. He ain't gonna get fat again. - From my dad and leaving. Never ever gonna grow. - Dude, you know what, we were jamming to last night. Me and my cousin, me and Luke had a couple of veterans day soda pops last night. - What up? - I drove back to the house. I drove back last night from Orange County. He was just like, should we have a couple of sodas? - Yeah, dude. - I was like, well, for the troops. - Great call. - For the troops. - And Monday night's kind of a fun night. - Monday night's a much better night than Saturday night. - A kind of a dick. - I like 'em, like a midweek, fucking, let's go. We had a couple of sodas and we were listening to talking heads and we listened to like three full albums. - Talking heads, is that? ♪ You smile in the ocean ♪ - No, let's tow the wedge broccoli. (laughing) Talking heads is, dude, that one again. ♪ You smile in the ocean ♪ (laughing) - You know what I'm talking about, though? The most famous talking head song you would know. - I know, I know. - It's probably "Road to Know" where. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - No, there's a more famous one. - What, is that he would know? Psycho Killer, he may not know that. - Everybody knows Psycho Killer. - Sing it for me, top to bottom. - See, you think he would know it right away, just on the title. He knew "Road to Know" where by the title. - I got it, I got it. ♪ On the side of the road tonight ♪ - See? ♪ And there's bigger king in your sight ♪ - He can't hear music. ♪ But there's a car driving fast in you ♪ ♪ Gotta get out of the way ♪ ♪ Get out of the way ♪ ♪ So you turn on your flashlight ♪ ♪ You open your flashlight ♪ ♪ You say to yourself, is it serious? ♪ ♪ And you grab your daddy by the arm ♪ ♪ And say, "Can I stand on your mommy's dear?" ♪ ♪ It's a Psycho Killer ♪ ♪ Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't ♪ ♪ You forget your pants ♪ ♪ Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't ♪ ♪ So you grab some overalls from the laundry machine ♪ ♪ And do your Psycho Killer dance ♪ ♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom ♪ ♪ One hand up, one hand down ♪ ♪ Move them over each other ♪ ♪ Until the frown turns upside down ♪ ♪ And smash them together like a signed ranch ♪ ♪ Thank you, Seattle ♪ - What, how'd it go? - That's not it? - I think that's it. - Okay. - That makes a question. (laughs) - I know my music tastes just all over the place. ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Run, run, run, run, run, run, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ - You never heard that? - No. - In here, we pour whistle. (buzzer) - This episode of Whiskey Junior is brought to you by Squarespace. I've talked about Squarespace so much on this show. I don't know why you're not using it. If you have developed a website of some kind, whether you're selling stuff, you're a personal trainer, or you make cute little mittens for your pup at home, whatever bespoke thing you're working on, whatever business you've got, Squarespace is the place. It's incredible. They give you the option to make your own website, design it yourself, or use their incredible templates that they've put together for you to make something beautiful and engaging, pop for your audience. My favorite is the SEO tools. It makes you show up more often. So people can see you more in their search engines, and every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions. So therefore you're gonna pop up more no matter what you're selling or pushing, or what you're showcasing. It doesn't really matter. There's also a donations page and a videos page. Content creators, I know that's the thing these days. They have an incredible way to post your videos, streamline your service with cutting edge design and email campaigns. So you gotta give it a whirl. Check it out to go to squarespace.com. You know at squarespace.com/wiskey. Give it a whirl. When you're ready to launch, use that code Whiskey. It's gonna save you 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain at squarespace.com/wiskey. You know the code is always whiskey. Hey, I'm here to tell you about Hollow Socks Alpaca. Hollow Socks Alpaca, you know about it. You've seen them on the internet, very cute, and boy oh boy, does that fair make for phenomenal socks. You spend a lot of money on shoes, right? You'll see people spend hundreds of dollars on shoes and then 50 cents on socks. Get yourself some comfortable socks that are worth the price, all right? And by the way, Hollow Socks aren't a rip off. They're not super expensive. They're worth the price. They keep your feet so warm in the winter time, which we're in. Or in the summer, they keep them nice and dry, which I really love. I've been rocking them all the time. I actually rocked them to the gym this morning. And Hollow Socks are soft and breathable. And they've got the everyday socks, which I like to wear all the time. They've got the hunt socks designed for cold mornings. You're out there freezing, waiting for that dude to pop up. That's what it's at, it's 6.0. I don't know what I'm talking about. They got the trade socks as made for 12 to 14 hour days. If you're a worker person, you gotta use those. And they're so comfortable. You gotta give them a try. No matter what your day looks like, Hollow Socks has got your little bunions on your feet, so he's covered nice and good. For a limited time, Hollow Socks is having a buy-to-get-to-free sale. Head over to hollowsocks.com today to check it out. That's hollowsocks.com for up to 50% off your order. After you purchase, they're going to ask you. They're going to say, hey, what'd you hear about us? Tell them we sent you, please support the show, and let them know. You heard about them from Whiskey Ginger. Ginger. I like ginger. There's no fucking way he wouldn't know about that. No, he wouldn't pretend. Not one of those guys ago. I'm on this one, but you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know, we're on a road to nowhere. Oh, yeah, yeah. See, I told you that was the one he would know. I told you that. Definitely not my favorite song by them. What were the songs you're home? Where I want to be? Oh, that's me up that. And you know of that, but you don't know Cycrica? That's crazy. I love that. Yeah, dude, talking heads is fucking nice. That's in almost every samler film I'd say. Samler's, Samler's definitely a fan of talking heads, yeah, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah, dude, it's, come on. I'm not good with lyrics, though. Melody's them all about. You're like my mom. We talked about that before. My mom does that. Like a, like a popular song. She's like, I love that song. Like, you know what song she really likes, but that'd be, but he does be bottom up. No, no, but she does fake words too. What was the song? What's the song with, I'll take my whiskey, need my coffee, black, and my bed at three. My mom goes, and the chorus is, you're too sweet for me. Yeah. And she goes, you're the beepin' me. And I'm like, what is the beepin' me? The beepin' me. Well, you're the beepin' me. Yeah. You're the beepin' me. How'd that beep get in me? Oh, that's it. Yeah. You know one of my SNL test characters is Michael McDonald's. Wow. Michael McDonald ordering McDonald's. You. Yeah. Do it. I'll take a number one with a diet coke. Oh, my God. Sir, just ask it. Maybe some nuggets. But it actually did well in the audition, but they were like, yeah, it probably will. Fuck it. They missed the boat on YouTube. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. I mean, they were right to not put me on that show. No, no, no. But. That killed in the audition. But then they were like, if we go back again, they're like, don't, don't pitch that. I was like, really? And my agent was like, yeah, they thought it was funny, but it's not usable. I was like, Michael McDonald, I'm like, Donald's is so dumb. That's so, that's, bro, you could put that third in the lineup. You could put that, like, what do they say the last sketches towards the end of the night are like the ones? Yeah, but imagine if you got a great, if you got keen in at the drive through taking the order. - And then he's always doing the, Sarah, just out of the, you know, just like the very straight phase with the smile. - And then you get another impression of another musical artist that you don't reveal in the back, passing in the back seat or something. - Right. - And then you pop, then you've got a second-- - Are we just all family in McDonald's? I don't know. Or maybe his son works. He's like, can someone handle this guy? I can't do with it. - That is the new, you see what that's all I'm saying? - I'll be so much fun. - There's a way to keep peeling a bag and adding more layers. - I know that. Young people don't know who Michael McDonald is, dude. - That's a prop. - That's a prop. - That's so funny, though. - I will say there was a cut for weekend update, sketch from around 2008 where Justin Timberlake did Michael McDonald's McDonald's. - Did he really? - Did you just look that up? - I just, he never made it to air. - But they, they, Seth Meyers and the Lonely Island, they played it, 'cause it was an Andy Sandberg joint. They played it on their show, but Justin Timberlake doing the impression. - That's good. - I think it never made it to air. - I think mine's better than his. - You heard that right, Justin? - Hey Justin, my impression's better than yours. - Where's my, you heard that right, Justin? - Hey man, you might have been able to do, you might be able to sell out arenas. - Oh yeah, ooh. - Oh yeah, but you can't do the impression. - You can do it McDonald's, McDonald's. (laughing) - Imagine Justin gets upset about this. He's actually like, yeah, I saw what you guys were talking about. That was really fucked up. No, no, no, we're just, just kidding around, man. - He, I got to do a stand-up set at his rap party before his last show in Columbus last year. - Awesome. - And yeah, it was awesome. I went out there and he was super cool and I'm sitting down there and he was, you know, talking to the whole crew and it was just a little like Chinese restaurant burlesque club. There was like a pole behind me. - A Chinese restaurant burlesque club? - Yeah, for the rap party. And then we went upstairs. - What was the fuck? - How'd you just breeze right over that? That's like a dozen jokes at once. - What in Columbus, yeah. I don't know what, David Buster. - He talks into a Chinese burlesque club. (laughing) - That's for some bad tie-in, a blowjob. Not from the same president. - Yes, for a little bit of pants tie. - You know what I mean? - Whoa! - Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. - A little surprise, surprise. And so-- - You can say it, surprise, surprise, surprise. - Surprise, surprise, surprise. - And so he's up there and I'm sitting right to the right and he goes, he's giving out, I think he gave out a piece of the, like the ground from one of the tours or something to everybody. - What? - And he was like even joking. Like, I know you guys are all like, "Money, this and that. That would have been cool, but like the ground or whatever." And then he looks down at me and he goes, "Oh, he goes, "Hey man, he goes, "Are you pretty funny?" He goes, "You're about to come up here, right? "All right, don't bomb." And then everybody's like, "Ha, ha, ha, ha." Laughterly hard, and I was like, "Oh, fuck." - Fuck, what a fuck? - And then I get up there and they told me a few things to, they give me, will they give me a bunch of names and things of his like two of his crew, like to joke. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like they're like, "Hey roast, the whole people." And the hotel, one of the gags I had was like, he started posting pictures of people's signs at the tours and like, like everyone was making signs, like just in like, you know, I'm bringing sexy back, whatever, can I get a kiss, you know? And so we bought a bunch of poster boards and Norm shout, am I supposed to norm, produce the Phil shows with me, helped write a bunch of fake signs, 'cause that was gonna be the last bit. Like I found a bunch of signs on the floors that your past tour, and I just wanna show you guys some of the signs you found. - That's smart. - And so we held up and we like spent time with like stickers, we made a bunch of signs and make 'em all get kid signs, but it was like, you know, you know, I'm here, you know, like I'll suck, I'll suck you off on stage, like let's, like give me that black snake moan or whatever, like he was in that movie. Like really aggressive ones, and then somewhere like play on words, and that bit killed at the end, but we were making them in the lobby, and somebody in his team, I guess they were all staying at the hotel, we were staying at, I didn't know that. And so somebody saw that, and then I printed up the jokes to roast the whole crew with at the front desk, and the front desk person, like flagged it and sent it to his team, and somebody was like, yeah, you can't do any of these. And I was like, oh, so I cooked like, you know, panicked, wrote some other jokes. I think I opened with, you know, there's a big deal being here, shout out, like Justin, and what a cool gift you're giving like piece of the ground to your crew, man, that's awesome. Money definitely, yeah, that wouldn't, the ground though, they're gonna fucking never forget that, like, and he laughed, he was in the corner, and then I go, he stuck around for maybe two jokes, and then went up to kind of start parting, but one that I hit him with, where I go, I go, you know, my sister, it's like crazy to be here, like my sister had a J.T. poster above her bed. You know, I had a joy, fatone flashlight in mine, and he's kind of laughed, and everybody laughed. And it was like one that, people were paying attention for I'd say three to four minutes, and then it was just like, their rate of party. And so then I started doing like material, and it was like, how much time are you supposed to do? I think this is like 15, 20, I must have done 12. And that was probably six minutes too long. I should have done a few hitters. I hit five, and then get out of there. And, but thankfully, I've done enough shit gigs to go like, there's a bar show, the amount of chatter was abhorrent, and like, to be honest with you, like, I was like, God damn it. So every time I do, I do some jokes, I was like, I'll do some weed jokes, and then jokes about having dogs as kids. And then, and then just the laughs, get some pockets of laughs, some guys in the corner, so some about them being in January six. And then I get pockets of laughter, and then I just go, after every joke that wouldn't hit, I'll just go, you know, look guys, I'm not gonna kill myself tonight, but maybe at this show tomorrow, like, and so then I would do a comment, and then that would get a big laugh. - All right. - So, I was like, thankfully I've, I'm comfy enough to go. I know how to at least handle this, and not just, 'cause there's a version of that, I don't know, seven, eight years ago, maybe, where the flatline, and then just, say, anyway, my dad is fucking bop-bore. You know, he just frees up, you know? - Get this guy off the stage. - Totally, so at least like stood my ground, kept it moving, and then it was just like, well, this didn't go the way you guys had planned, but this is exactly how I saw going. I'd go, one more for J.C. Shazaz says whatever. But the first joke, but the first joke for Justin, he at least laughed, and then he was like, he goes, he goes, the flatline, Joey's, he's like, it's big, right? It's bigger than you think. I go, it is. I go, dude, you are funny. Jimmy found was right, and he laughed, and then he liked point of me. And then afterwards he gave me a hug, and he was like, dude, tough room, whatever, and super sweet, man. - Tough room? - Yeah. But yeah, it was like, on the stage, it was a pole behind me, lighting not great. - It's all, yeah. Those are not good. - I don't give a fuck dope. - You're gonna have fun. - Yeah, dude. My next tour is tough room. - Not bad. Mine's gonna be called adult shit, I think. - Adult shit. - Because the guy, one of the managers that hired us this past week. - Can't put a cost word in your tour name. - You can't? - Nah, it doesn't make sense. - Yeah, but this one's the who is me tour. - That makes perfect sense. - Yeah. - When you have a cost word in a tour, I'm always like, what is that for? Who's that for? - You know what? It does, 'cause my mom is always like, - Rockin', fuckin' roll. Come into you live. - The shit fuck tour. - This shit fuck mouth fart tour. - That sounds like, that sounds like this Swarzen. - Oh. - The diarrhea fart shit head tour. - The cock fart tour. - That's funny. - But it's Swarzen, you'd go, he's the best. - He's the only one that can do that. - With that tour makes sense. - Yeah, imagine it's like Gaffigan, Pris Jim Gaffigan presents, fuck your mouth, bitch tour. - Jerry Seinfeld presents the pussy fart tour. - What's the deal? Is it arrows and a queen? Nobody knows. - I love it either way. I'm a queen puffer. I love queens. - Remember the first time you heard it. You went out and you checked the back yard for a hot air balloon. - A queen. - A queen. - Is it talking to you? - Do you talk back? - I got two women yelling at me. Harder, deeper, harder, deeper. - It's kind of Normandy. It's a little Normandy. - Oh yeah, well he's harder, deeper. What are you gonna do? - I'm gay. - God, I know you. That's my Samuel Lafayette mark ready. - Do Sam. - So here, do a joke in the puffer. Oh, this is crazy because I was at New York, I was there. I was at the Knicks game, right? And I was at the Knick, I mean, it's not a good say. My sandwich is a little dark. - He used to be Knicker Bocker, all right. - No, but we were at the Knick-Up. - You're gonna call the Knick-Up Bocker. - Oh, that's a, that's really good. Dude, that's exactly good. - I can do laughs of like, I can do a Samuel laugh. I can do a Rogan laugh, ready? - Do Rogan. (laughing) - That is, that is pretty good. It's all I can do. I can't do his actual voice. - 'Cause it's just a little too. - Or just you sling a joke. - You are at the commie store we are crashing in. The mothership is just a story we're crashing. (laughing) - That is good. He goes back in a way, up in a way. - His laugh is infectious. But that's all I can, his voice is really specific. - Or if you do a joke that doesn't land on his show, like do like joke and I'll do what he does when a joke doesn't land. - Well dude, it's like, you know, I'll go to Denny's and get the grand slam, but I'm like, you know, do I have to eat around the pub or do I have to eat it at a courtesy? - Yeah, it's funny. You, you, have you seen this polar bear fucking miss shit out of this guy? And that, that's, I remember like the first couple of times I did it, I'd sling a joke, it didn't land. And he would be like, that's funny. - Yeah. - And I was like, no, no, yeah, where jokes go to die? (laughing) He'll kill you sometimes. - He'll kill you sometimes. - Sometimes he'll shoot it right out of the sky. - And I wonder too, is it like a, is it a like, he's not, he's thinking of his next question or did it just didn't hit with him? - No, it didn't make him laugh. - It didn't make him laugh. - If it didn't make him fucking laugh. Like that notorious clip of Shane being like, I'll just go on Rogot. And then Joe's like, is that what you thought? And he's like, no, no, it was so good. It was so good. 'Cause if it doesn't make him laugh, he's not gonna feign it. He's just gonna go, no, it's not, I don't think that's that funny. - That's a good shame too. - Oh, sh*t, it did. - What's he, who would you say is, Sebastian's a really impersonable, probably the most impersonable. - Sebastian's probably the most, yeah, him or her. - But people have done Sebastian. Nobody does a Norman. I think probably now too, people just go like, years is so good that there's just no one's fucking with him. - Can't come near my Norman. - You can't come near it. - And my Allie Wong is really good. You see my Allie Wong? - That'll be, yeah, that'll, - My Allie Wong's so good. - I see it, yeah. - Whoa. (laughing) He didn't even do it you can't even get that it's just Bobby but pregnant. Yeah, it's Bobby but pregnant And they're the same size now because he's on was that Bobby but pregnant looks good I know who who said skinny Bobby they were making their said skinny. He is Top of the go skinny Bobby. I just I don't know. I don't know. It's skinny Bobby We made it outside today. You guys congrats for making it outside. I love pop I made some bread God the guy makes great fucking reset your home some bread, huh? At the store. Yeah, no, yeah, I even I need to go in his breath. Well, you've never done that. I need to hit him up Oh, it's fucking he's the man. I want to do it and you'll eat and get real good He's a great conversation list, but when he came in did the really comic. Yeah, brilliant comic What I think he gets his due cred and he's obviously selling out everywhere But like yeah, well, I mean just in the respect game of comics He's pop is one of those guys where everyone's like, oh, yeah, it's great phenomenal And if you're not it's kind of one of those things where I don't I never Don't trust you if you don't if you're like I really a pop a guy. You're like oh, there's some everybody with you wrong You're wrong. Yeah, I had a girl I'm sure every comic has had this but in line at the meet and greet go you know, I hate comedy But I really enjoyed the show tonight and I go I go and I you know I'm thinking of skin not thinking of skin that I'm not taking a personal, but I just go I go I go I go that's so I go you're not the first person to have ever said that I go that also I go first I feel bad for you. Are you like that miserable? Like truly you hate comedy? Yeah, like you never I go What what do you watch comedically and he goes she's got some shows. She's got some show secret house a more than wise and I go that is very funny That is hilarious I go they're all just trying to like you know, just like soak and like but they really just are all soaking Yeah, soaking in the guy underneath the bed pushing that's the funniest part that people that was the most fun He's got a name. What's his name? The guy that's under the bed pushing the soakers. No, they got so you're soaking But there's someone under the bed that's like moving in the mattress or a family member. No, but it's got to have a name There's then there's like a there's like a name for the position right kind of a hot You know how like a in a in volleyball the libero is the setter. Yes, right. Okay. So this is no There's a crisp part of the blade. It's got to be a it's got to be a Steve Kerr out there somewhere It's got to be a Steve Kerr in the cyst. It's also Steve Kerr. That was one of the most fun parts. John Paxton. That's Utah So he was the soaker of the bulls. He was the that was the fun part about doing. I don't know. I'm saying no not John Paxton What's wrong with me? No, he was the bulls. Yeah BJ Stockton. John Stockton. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That was one of the fun things about doing a fill show in Utah was like just you know Every guest with air Griffin Trevor Wallace doctor Drew and Hans cam and everybody brought up soaking And then at one point I just went to the crowd and was like who does it? Who's done it? And who's excited to try? You know But it was such a I want to make the whole show about it, but it was like we're in the place that it happened. So why not gay births the so and there was a guy or gal I think that stood up that we chatted with the guy gal. Yeah, it was a guy gal It was one of those combo pecs You know when you open up a trading card pick you got Pokemon and a Frank Thomas And you love combos, Dr. Phil. I love them. Would you favor flavor of combos? Strogan off. Oh, you love the strogan off combos. Well, it's they don't make them anymore. Yeah, they discontinued them discontinued them And I'd like them to re-continue them, but you know, you don't get what you want who said that Caitlin Jenner after she killed that guy, but All right, well, check the Wi-Fi get online. Let me know what you see Talk like him for hours, dude. I love it, dude. Final Phil show here at the will turn December 16th We're about a hundred and some away. It's selling it. It's got a final Dr. Phil show at the will turn December 16th Dr. Phil and some some you don't even have the guest lineup yet. You haven't told anybody. I've got it Oh, you haven't told anybody. We won't tell anybody. Oh no, it's always a surprise. Okay. Yeah, no, I know. Which is why like I mean look We've got it's always a surprise my agent when we were getting it going was like you need to get the show to a point to where Because like you know the second show we ever did was Santino and Bobby Lee one of the best episodes arguably in the history of the show Oh, it was one of the you know what it was always great is the amount of fun. We had I think Bob even have a good time There were so many just great moments. He stayed put and like bantered a lot. Yeah, but when you laugh hard I mean you're a great laffer But like when you you laughed hard like you did with that harland lotion clip at faheem dancing and a few other moments like the Like the uh cook orange cookie monster or ever or or uh. No, what was it? Sesame Street. Well, yeah, Asian says Fortune cookie monster, but you just had some some classic Santino guttural laughs and I was like oh, this is like And I just felt with it the crowdwork up top pre-guest was like pretty strong. Yeah, episode was fantastic But uh, but your pop in Chicago Chicago theater was in all time was a blessing and so but this one is so now this show got to a point to where It sells without the guess and and it is now an added bonus to where it's like you're coming to the last one But man, this one is like wild dude. Yeah, it's and it's got a and I'm I'm still throwing a few hell marries to get a couple You will they'll go they'll go whoever you're asking. But it's already awesome. And I got some I got some buddy's Epstein all your favorite hits Ron Jeremy Fouchy um Fouchy Denny Masterson Can you imagine by the way that guy David who who that rapper who killed that girl? He's coming. Yeah, all your favorite cons ex cons the dead of the bear that are of K8 We actually did do that one episode. Yeah, please. I go up. It was uh, there's not just how wild the show could be I was the guest were Chris Stefano. I think Steve Oh Kumail and Swartz and I think that is such a fucking hilarious line totally those four guys in a car traveling across the country. No This was at the store. No, I know what I'm saying. Imagine those four guys in a car. I know Stefano driving Kumail shitting shotgun Steve Oh in the trunk for some reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and and fucking who's the fourth Just to find Steve Oh Swartz and oh Swartz it. Yeah, fuck me That's a such a great. Kumail was on. We had this great bit about He said something about Working at a Call Center and then there was something about I was like I thought you were seeing it was like a phone six thing Because he said he was like I know I'm you know Pakistani I worked at a call center I was like I thought you did phone six. They know and then he did a joke about butts and boobs and I go But some boobs actually the first porn. I saw he goes it think is what was the premise of butts and boobs again And I go and we start improvising the premise and you know, he's such a great Riffer and he like laid out a whole nerdy premise to what butts and boobs would be about sure he could write it was like AI and all this shit Yeah, like anyway, but so Chrissy D was playing American trivia against RFK and Jeremiah comes as RFK And then we had Amanda my sweet wife. We bought a bear costume and she came out as the bear But her in a costume a bear comes out with the face can I leave you then she no she loved it. She loved it She came out and she was like there's a picture of her and Bobby actually I think it might be online is because he just came through the the back Just to watch but we had her It was like they did trivia against each other and then it was the bear that you killed like came back to life And left on the side of the road and so he was like I can't believe he found the bear You know and then she comes out and then she goes she goes stay away from my family bids But she couldn't get through because she starts laughing. Yeah, and then we had the fake punch out effects And she starts hitting them and like oh so funny dude She's the best. Yeah, I'll be great. You got a great great wife. She loves it though. She's fucking she's the best She got him and made a nice she made a house a home she made a house a home brother guys got a new house And I was like what a nice she made a house a home did I don't like the muzzles everywhere I know it is a little much but as you walk in right as you walk in the door every room you know how well You know how like in a convenience store the band-on you know they're like the band-on when you walk I always goes Every fucking room. I'm like good cry. That's a great song pop us home the garage Yeah, it's just is a great like and you guys also have tunnels underneath your house. Where do those we do we do straight to New York we'll be right back Can you imagine hey, that's rich I heard it Thank you. I had stomach problems all morning. I apologize to the guest beer. We had a couple of beers last time You know what the problem is at this age if I like whiskey have a couple glasses of whiskey fine a couple beers now My stomach. I am like fucking not a beer. I had a beer at the World Series and that was because baseball but like not my preff Not my preff it so full so you feel like well, we're also getting older fat or quicker. So you're like this is gonna fat me out. Yeah, by the way. Sorry Sorry, I'm sorry about the real close. Did I think you guys were gonna win? Yeah, you did yeah, I did actually I was in the game seven or the whole series the series. I was kind of shot. We were up two oh No, that's not why I just thought just better baseball strong some of the strongest hitters in the game Yeah, we wanted to get nerded out on baseball, but I but I would love to but um yeah cow Shout to my boy Cal Raleigh had the most epic season for a catcher. He'll find out if he wins MVP I don't know if this comes out, but this Thursday he'll find out if he wins There's an argument to be made that he doesn't but I think you're out of your mind. Yeah Aaron judge had a crazy offensive year But cow said all these workers a catcher doesn't hit 60 home runs dude. It's some catch He skipped three games calling the game playing ever I mean Yeah, I don't know judge made some cool catches No judge won't get it this year. I do think you think you think it's a guy. I think the kid deserves it I think just given home run derby champ plus plus kind of like a guy a guy you never man Well a guy you root for judges of is a is a is a is an action figure. He's an untouchable cow Is it cow looks like he owns a Chick-fil-A in Rancho Cucamango and he does and guys the address for that is right below promo code big dumper to get two three it's big done Bob fillet nuggets big dumper What a great game by the way right the big dumper. Yeah, it's talking. Well the guy's got a shitter. It's unbelievable His butt. It touches his calves when he sits. Yeah, he sits on it though. It's like it's not even like You and I would have to write from right here. He's that high. He said that. I have a bunch. I can up get online Get online get on the wifi. What's the name of the soaker? Did you look that up? I don't know if this is accurate, but it's at the jump man. I love that. Jump man. 23. No. Put him under the bed. Well, it's Jordan's IG handle, right? Yeah, the jump man. Oh, the jump man for the soaker. Yeah. No way. I know what you're saying. You're a post-Jordan IG handle. Got to be post. Jordan's had that IG for a minute. Yeah. Shout out to MJ, by the way, Michael, I know I owe you a little bit of money from last time we played golf. You have not golfed with him. I think I owe him $875,000. You haven't. No, I've never golfed with him. I'm based on that joke number. No. Well, you know that's true. He bets like a hundred grand a hole. You know that, right? You've never heard this? Jesus. You've never heard this before? We never have an orgy with him. Yeah. Well, that isn't on the deal with that at all. Gotcha. But yeah. Oh. A hundred grand a hole. Sometimes, I mean, dude, he's got games. Through the look. I'm speaking out of turn here. I've never, I've never experienced it. I have heard from people that say he loves to gamble on the golf course as many rich athletes like him do, and apparently he's had historically huge games where it is. It gets up to crazy numbers like a hundred and a whole. No. I've never experienced it. It's allegedly. But it's a great story to tell because you're like, if that's true, that's fucking unreal. Does that take some of the fun out of it for you? Because you love golf so much. Would you let the gambling world bleed in and kind of dilute it or no? Or is that part of the fun? I would never play for that. That's insane. What the fuck? Like that? Oh, you mean like gambling in general? Yeah. Oh, no, no. You have to. No, no. You throw a couple of nickels on it for fun. Yeah. But like not, not something. Not a life chain. Not gross. No, no, no. No, not even. This feels not fun. Not even bummer money. Not even where you're like, why didn't I lose on that? Like me and the guys that I play with, friends that I play with. Yeah, brother. You might, you might lose 30, 40 bucks. It's just for fun. It's just to like, you know what it really is? It's like you buy the beers or what? You know what I mean? Like when the round is over. Yeah. That's good. It's occurred to see more than anything. Yeah, because what the fuck are we talking about? By the way, who said that? Somebody just said that it was like so quotable in my brain. They were like, I don't like giving my friends money. And I don't want to take theirs either. And I was like, that's, I like that. Like I don't, we don't need to have that weird like, you owe him $500. Like fuck that. What do we talk? Why? No, so you bet for a couple of bucks. It's actually more fun for less money. Yeah. Because then it's like. You know, if you're like, who presses on five bucks? Yeah. Yeah, totally. It's something fun and stupid. Yeah. Because I imagine if you do get like a Jordan in that level, it's not interesting for him unless it's a fucking unbearable amount of money. That 100K must just be like nothing to him, but cripple the guy he's taking from the guy. Like imagine the guy is like calling his business manager like, "Hey, um, yeah, I'm in Florida. Yeah, I, you saw the charges." So we owe, we owe Michael $600,000. You can call my wife and tell her she's going to be. And she. And she. Yeah, and tell my wife she can keep the house, the cars, and the kids. I'm jumping into the ocean. Yes. I'll be walking right in the end. Right up front. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to lose you in three, two. I'm sorry. Well. I DM DMJ when we were going to Chicago. Because I've done it with. I've done it with a handful of celebs. Whoa. Hey, man, I'm sure you've had people reach out. Sometimes you go, "Oh, yeah, they're comedy fans. Maybe they know." Boobley and I have struck up a little friendship because of that, with just being like, "Oh, I. I miss you. Boobley." And, um. Hey, that guy's got chances. That guy can sing his dick off. Yeah. He's unbelievable. He's wild. And a cool. He's from Vancouver, so Seahawks guys. Oh, he's from Canada? Yeah, yeah. I'm out. I don't like him. It's a no for me, Doug. No for me, Doug. One of the most popular catchphrases I've got in the past. Yeah, it's a no for me, Doug. I'm out. In here, we pour whistle. Boys, boys, boys. I want to tell you about Marsmen. Marsmen is the best. Look, as we get a little bit older, I'm 42 years old. And if 42, you're a little bit slower. The morning's a little bit harder. Getting to the gym was a little bit tough. I did do it today. Yay! Pat myself at the back. And that's thanked to some energy boost from Marsmen. Look, you go down this rabbit hole trying to find out about. about T. Everyone's like low T. 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And two free gifts when you use the code whiskey. At mengo to Mars.com, that's mengo to Mars.com, use the code whiskey. Check out after you're purchased. They're going to ask you where you heard about them. Please support the show. Tell them that whiskey ginger sent you. Ginger. I like ginger. I watched America's American Idol audition recently. It was just so funny, dude. It was like this kid, he's like wrapping. And his brother next to him was like, and it says like when you bring your brother to work and the guy's like, "I'm going with my dad and I'm chilling in my car." And then the brother on the side doesn't know when to interject. And he goes, "In my car, in my car." And then it goes back to Simon. And he goes. And then it cuts to the woman. And she's like. And then the guy goes. And then I tell him, "I'm about to go outside to get the food." And he goes, "Cause I got enough food, I'm getting enough food." And then Simon's like. And I'm just like, they didn't even try to hide. Now. How much they were just like laughing at these people. And these guys were. And they were, and then you see them like, as he was wrapping, like looking up and seeing them laugh. And like, "And we go to the fans and some fun." So I keep going, like, "Oh, like so good." So funny. And like. I love that they aired them all. That was a genius of that show. Nobody, I gave less of a fuck about the competition. I cared more about the auditions. Watch for the auditions. It was, that's the beauty of that was what a find. That show. Look, America at the end of the day, predicates itself on the idea that if you think you can, go for it. Go for it. Sing yourself out of the shower or the out of the stage. But if you suck, it's going on YouTube. It's going to make fun of you for the rest of your life. But why don't they do it like the Apollo? How come that's not back? Showtime at the Apollo should be a hit show again. It's a problem. Well, Star Search is the bringing back for Netflix apparently. But I want to see the Apollo because they boo you. And I think that's fucking amazing. Oh, that's twist, huh? No, they fucking boo you right off stage, my guy. They will boo you right. That is what I want again. Like, the problem with America and I don't know all these shows is they're too, like, safe for American audiences. But I was like, "Great voice, and I like your parents." Dude, give me the Apollo. Give me cat Williams fucking roasting you off the stage. That's what Jamie Foxx did with that guy at the shack roast. Oh, my Christ. Dude, that poor guy. That guy never recovered. He didn't did it. Never fucking recovered from that. That hurt my feelings. You weren't even on the panel. You're like, "Oh, my God. I'm still talking right now." This is your conscience. Yes, dude. We haven't seen that. It's worth a look up. Holy shit. Jamie Foxx just absolutely. What's his name? What's wrong with me? Why can't I think of him? It's like something Harrison, I think. Rodney. Rodney, right? Yeah, he was a famous comedian. He still is. I'm no disrespect. I don't know him well. He took it and stride, dude. I mean, like, he laughed it off. You have to do it. And played the straight man in it because, like, you can't. You have to smile when you're getting stabbed, dude. Oh, sorry. Jamie Foxx was still Jamie. It was Jamie Foxx. He wasn't Ray Jamie Foxx at that point. Yeah, but he's funny. But he still was fucking the guy. It wasn't that who was, right? Rodney Harrison, is that right? I couldn't find him. Jamie Foxx. Jamie Foxx roasts Rod. Just like Rodney Harrison, I think that's his name. At the shack. It was for shack roast. Shack roasts. Yeah. No more. Have you ever done a roast? Not taped. Not filmed. They taped it. I don't think they'll put it anywhere. It would be great on those fucking things. You know what? I'm not the one roast I ever did first. And really only was Josh Wolf put together. His friends with Big Poppy did. Love Josh Wolf. Love him. Shout out. He put together a roast for Big Poppy's charity. In Boston at the House of Blues. And it was Anthony Mackie, a great actor. Sarah Tiana, Bill Burr, Dustin Padroya, Gronk. Jonathan Coachman. Jesus. Myself. Fuck who else? Josh, obviously. And Big Poppy. And it was supposed to be filmed for showtime. And for Nesson, the Boston Sports Network. And the next day, we'll Gronk backstage. I dressed up. I go, I'm not really a roast guy. And now I feel a little more comfortable doing it. Just because I've done a bunch of characters and doing it. And the jelly roll roast, I think, gave me a little more confidence. Did you do it in character? No, I did it myself. Oh, okay. And like Kid Rock was up there and they told us not to make fun of Kid Rock. They were like, please don't know joke about Kid Rock. He's just hanging out. He just wants to have some cocktails. And all I heard was. Talk about Kid Rock. And then you crumple up an entire sheet of paper. I roll the dice and did a few anyway. I go, Kid Rock, I see you up there. I'll make this quick. I know you've got to get back to talking too loud or to crack a barrel. And then I got a pretty good laugh. I go, crack a barrel is actually a Kid Rock's life is going to end. Anyway, what else we got? And I see me just like, I think we had a little exchange after the show. Nice guy to you. What the fuck? You fucking, funny, fucker. You know, Norm was like, hey, hey, hey. Put him in the tire. I'm not going to break my neck. Anyway, I have a picture of me, Kid Rock. I heard you live in the white house, Kid Rock, and I heard you like it white. You keep it that way, huh? Yeah, am I white or am I wrong? It's not even my new special. I'm doing the Biden state of special, by the way. Well, not only the OR. Are you? Yeah. You doing an hour as Biden? I'm going to do probably 15 minutes, but bringing God for you out to play Black Trump. Black Trump, so good. And it's going to be, I might have somebody play Hunter. I might have to share, do RFK. But I'm going to do about 10, 15. That me coming as Prince Andrew. Are you serious? That's so excited. Doug Williams. Oh, fuck Williams. Yeah. Rodney Harson is a football player. Yeah. Sorry about that. I'm fucking hungover. That's all right. I'm moving real slow. Do you see him like it? Upstairs. Dude, they're playing. You know, you're playing tennis. I'm playing, uh, fucking paddle ball. But this is why these what's it called pickle ball? I couldn't even get it out wait at this out You're playing tennis. I'm playing handball Venice Beach handball that one guy that's always played handball I used to go play basketball on the west side and I'd go to Venice Beach to play ball One guy playing handball practicing by himself in those in those in those concrete caves That guy's either the coolest guy on earth or the scariest motherfucker alive. I don't want to see him in a right-aid at 2 a.m Brother you because he's working. He's like get out of here. I'm stuck and plan b is there you go He's buying the counter. Just want to make sure you know, all right, all right brother. All right, brother. You work here, right? You're the reason they put a glass shield over the vitamins now, do you know that? I'm taking Tylenol all day long a city minifin the city a city Man and I see the minifin is right. I see the mini Afghanistan. Of course. I say to me to any media. I see me It's the any meany person the any meany see them in I saw Matt friend came into town and did a bunch Did did spot the store and did a bunch of his stuff. Yeah, it is up for debate And who does it the best at this point his okay, so friends Howard is untouchable untouchable, but his Trump is different I mean they're all different all these guys, but Shane's is probably my favorite And James James Austin Johnson on SNS and else fucking. He's got the gritty that and then Matt's got a lot of the Not even that Matt's got more of the grungeer that goes down a lot He does a lot of the the phase the the face in the way he like tilts his head a lot and leans towards that He does that but he does mannerisms. Yeah, is it James Austin Johnson? I said it right. Yeah, because I'm fucking Everyone's name today. Yeah, he's fucking rad. Yeah, there's a lot of rad people on that fucking show man Veronica got on that show Stokes she's super funny is her name Ashley Padilla Ashley Padilla. I like her a lot. She's a major I think while she's gonna be a pop off. Yeah, well she was on last year and had a few standouts, but she's really She's not but this year they're kind of giving her some more work She's hidey solid to me where she's just like every sketch. I'm like oh, I want to watch it. I think she's wow I think she's better. I think she's fucking great. She's not no shot at her. I just think she's got she's got cool range I've seen her do a different stuff where you're like, well, this is really fucking different. She's also she's gonna pop off And I think get her own show of some sort. Yeah, 100% yeah, yes, you know, she you know, she's like Sideras. Okay. Oh, wow. She reminds me of how Amy Sideras is very kind of like uniquely her own. Oh, yeah I mean she because I think Amy's one of the funniest fucking people to walk the earth and she's so hurt shit Like when you're so your shit, you're like oh, no, what he could literally nobody could someone could try to do that Mm-hmm like like everyone could try to do a sketch show a lot of people could do a sketch show It's hard to do a sketch show where it's so obviously your sketch show right where it's like well This is what you do the back. No one does this better. Right. What was it? Um Jerry Jerry blank? I'm blank. Oh my fucking god. Jerry Springer Jerry Garcia. Oh my god. Luis. No Amy Amy strangers with candy. Yeah, but the Jerry Blank. It wasn't called Jerry Blank Wasn't that the name of the character? Fuck dude Jerry Jewel. Thanks a lot Miller light This is sponsored by what was it? Yeah, Jerry Blank. Jerry Blank. I was right. That was the character. She did right? Yeah cool when she was like Okay, you guys and she went back to high school as a fucking grown woman She was fucking dude. She's so funny. Anyway, um, I'll tell you what yeah, I Thought for years That I've known you that I I just thought I don't like Adam. Yeah You thought you settled in for something real for a second. I did it. I dug you in funny did misdirect Misdirect is the best quick story Fast story funny one of the funniest nights in my life Mean you getting hammered doing the Christmas special me kicking in your door. Maybe one of the funniest things on yeah I kicked an Adam's fucking door now. Did you tell me to do it kind of I think I did I said kind of we needed to get in Yeah, but I kicked it in I broke in his door out of Wearing was it wearing yes In the brand I kicked in the pinks. We got hand-boned. We came home. We were locked out was your roommate home and sleeping and wouldn't answer the door or something Yeah, he was broke that shout out to Sean. He's passed it on the floor. Yeah, all the gas was on what we do that every from time to time Leave the gas off. I mean, and I kicked and it broke that door the amount of fucking wonky roommates You've kind of you you're pretty parallel with me. I've had some fucking whack-a-dos, but yeah, you've had some good ones I had a guy that painted the ceiling That was one of the funny things about I came home. He ripped up the carpet. He's like there's wood floors under here man And I was like why the fuck did you rip up the carpet bro now? There's glue all over the place We're walking in glue and then he painted the living room blue like darker than this like dark dark blue And he and then I look up the motherfucker painted the ceiling and he goes I got some paint on your TV man And I was like what the fuck dude? You don't paint the ceiling. He goes it looks more homie I was like no it looks like a cave It looks like we're gonna cut up bodies in here. So that's something these would be discussed with the household You know brother. He didn't give a fight. He was paint the ceiling this dude. He owned vending machines He was such an enigma He worked for Tom's shoes when it first started. Remember to take place. No, I don't fake place Tom's shoes the guy who if you bought a pair of shoes That is Berks wife's business actually lands shut out. Let's put the inside out Leon one of the best one of the best probably the greatest Chrysler Leanne a spare the best Chrysler. Yeah, that's the Chrysler when I see her take her shirt off come on I got five black friends to our own Jamal bebop and rock city Dude, also for real shout out to the Chrysler some of the nice Shout out. Maybe the best humans that are one of your god Leanne Number one number one dude. I do. I love bird but come on man. Wait. You want to hear a great roommate's story? The probably two weeks before you live with Leanne Chrysler one time Yeah, we did for about three we it was a Craigslist find No, I was living on loron Hollywood remember the old place Right Street from the Lafactory. Yeah right around the corner from where I used to yes. Yeah, we were in fucking neighbors Yes, which is the best and we walked dogs together dogs together and there was I went to the Ghostbusters premiere I had a little part in that and got the voice slimer and I met Ray Parker Jr. That night at the premier. Oh, I'm at Accord and my brain was awesome everybody was one of those premieres that like It was the Paul Fee Golf female Ghostbusters. So everybody came to it and it was at man's Chinese and then they'd read it out The Roosevelt and turn it into just they went nuts. They Sony spent a lot of money. They put slime all over it Everyone got slime dude. Everyone and guess what it was come. We got you there. We got you there. We got you there That's not cool. It's a joke. It was a song. They all got busted. I got busted. Guess what? Bust makes you feel good So Ray Parker made him He goes and what'd you do man? What'd you do when I go? No, what's that accent that you're doing Jamaican? Oh, and I go I go I'm a comedian. He goes may you perform around town? I go. Yeah, he goes I would love to come see you live and I go take my number swap numbers with Ray Parker Jr So got it cut to column Eric marino shout out was there we get comedian Yeah, okay, at the night. I'm just I always stick around these things till the very end when I did the heat I stuck around the very end at the heat premiere New York was myself Joy McIntyre who we became buds that night one of my best buds now Allison Jones who cast a movie my best friend Anthony R.I. Emma who drove up from DC since fifth grade just to be there Allison Jones is nieces nephew and Ben Affleck was there shit-faced and I have a picture it might be online of me Ben Affleck and they had a That heat poster that you could take pictures of in front and Allison Jones was like I really want to picture with Ben I go all ask him so I go up I'd ask him earlier to take a picture with puttin and And he was so sweet. I was like oh, yeah, good job in the movie man I go you might take a picture my mom. She's big fan. He's like he's like I know it's you man I know you're the fan. I go I am did you mind though and like it's real fun and they got a picture but he was Shit face at the night and it's me Ben Allison and my buddy and he's been did not want the picture But I was like I'm Allison wants it. I wear it's only us take there was us in the staff and with picture and we're all like and Ben's like Hammer so is it online we got to find a ring that I had a great heat app like picture And what is that and what and Ben Affleck is the who that's Matt Damon's buddy my Damon's buddy. Yeah, he was in goodwill hunting I don't think I don't think he did well part anything after that. He was in good or will he was in not basekip all but a movie about I don't know he was I think he was something he One's directed J. Lo and a short film. Let's say Great. Oh, fucking so Christ you put that on line. He was probably like Yeah, I might tag them in a two. Is he sober, but damn Adam? Who's that to your to your left? Who is that girl that blonde girl? She's another one of the casting gals in New York. Yeah, she looks familiar. Yeah, you know her. Yeah, kind of damn it Anyway, Ray Parker meet Marino and I I'm staying till the end of the premiere. I'm just staying till the end Melissa was McCarthy McCarthy shout out was staying we had some cocktails then she leaves then me and Marino there And I'm like I fuck I can walk back home. He's like I'll walk with you Locked back to a certain point of Hollywood. He dips out. I go back and I'm I'm man I turned it up and I'm like I've blacked out maybe twice ever this was pretty close and I get back I get the code to go in don't have my keys on me and my roommate at the time was was gone and All I want to do we've all been there if you drink your smoke you throw them back You like to have a good time you turn things up you spark one up you burn one down You know what I'm talking about all you want you're thinking of bed food because I just was mingling and and drinkin I just I barely I didn't need any of the fun little ghost buster You know proton pack cupcakes or whatever the bullshit they had I didn't touch. I didn't anything so I'm starving And I got this Thai place that's always open late that I'm at order from and Called Bobby Lee's pregnant and I order from this title. It's a call back to earlier and I I order the food is a coy or toy It might have no way was another place. I don't think it's open anymore Okay, yeah, but he's the prank call of them. Yeah, cuz of me Well, we used to prank call it when Brad and I would do the podcast We had anyone on that would do impressions We would have them print call this tie restaurant that I always ordered from and I never felt bad because I go, I get a lot of business. Justin Roland who did Rick and Morty prank called him as Rick and Morty Erie Spears called his DMX and ordered that N word shrimp That was so good. Yeah, you heard that yeah, the N word shrimp. Yeah, all the truth. Yeah, but it was always late by the way the guy said it back well He goes the way he said it back and always dying Erie's and then we had a we had Dana Carvey do Paul McCartney and order some like, you know Yeah, the mooshie book. I mean, so the mooshie book. So I get home. No keys. The food is on the way I'm like fucking so pissed. I start like banging on the door I think my roommate might be in there banging on the door. So fuck it. My phone's about to die I call locksmith locksmith comes down. He's like it's gonna be about 45 I'm like it's all good man. Just come on out of shoes. You can't I'll give you a double if you can just get here as soon as you can I'm starving. I'm fucked up. I got to get inside. All right, man comes down. It tries like 80 keys None of the keys have worked and now I'm just getting frustrated I'm like you're supposed to be a locksmith and now I'm gonna get a little tooty and he goes the fuck does that mean dude? I go you got a thousand keys not one of them can open this door this door is like this isn't a new door I'm like Such an asshole. It's a slag. It's a regular slag and he goes he goes dude I fucking he goes this is what I fucking do. It's not my keys that your door rock Santa my landlord comes down Add them please she'd already give me a hard time early that way. She fucking give you a key. She didn't have my key You're supposed to leave copies of your keys with them. I never it's one of the things I just never did such an Adam Rainbow to just yeah, and and so she doesn't have a key and And so she like just keep it down though because like now we're getting complaints being loud me and the guy are getting into it I'm like I don't even think you fucking Whatever dude. He's like like I called you out. He's like we still gonna pay me. I'm like I'm paying you shit He goes already charge your card, buddy, and just kind of got my face. I go you're the worst fucking locksmith I've ever fucking seen bro and he's walking away. He goes you want to get in your place? You want to get in your fucking place? I go yeah, I go but I'm have to call another locksmith. He goes fuck that turns around pulls a Santino and then dams my door down And then fucking spits and I go yes, I gave mug He goes you got it man. I go he goes leave a five star review. I go awesome. Thank you so much My food shows up right after that. I sit down. I walk in. I'm like oh fucking pat die Roxana comes back by fucking you gotta keep it down. I sit down. I'm eating my pat died doors broken I got in I opened my phone. There's a 48 minute voicemail being left on Ray Parker Jr's phone swear to God and I just pick it up and I go oh shit. I go Ray big fan great to meet you Called him in the middle of the whole the whole thing was on the voicemail He's right. He's gonna write a song about it right now. He didn't listen to any of it It's one of those things where you like you see it on the phone. You just go 48 minutes just met this guy What he sent me his whole set but imagine it's not crazy him listening to you argue with a locksmith and walk home Real heated to him here you test it or locks, but you're like I'm waiting I'm why you get inside there. They're about to deliver my n-word shrimp in about two minutes. It's an airy spears joke By the way, this isn't a new door Yeah, I know like I'm a getting fired up telling the story, but it for sure was sure a new door bitch Mother well, no, you do this. You go it's not like it's a fucking new door and then just as a tennis side You know your mom went under your breath to the poor bastard and shout out to Mike work locks Mike Mike Mike Mike work locks that you're guy Mike work locks. Yeah, like it Mike work. He never know. That's what he says funny Mike Mike work locks. That's like the porn name Will Pounder I met him at the laugh factory well Pounder. Yeah, he's good. I like a must-fucker. Yeah, must Now what's the big black guy's name Jason something Mike Hock Mike Hock make Mike Hock. Yeah, Mike You say it fast. You know what you're getting shout out to the adult film industry Bob mattress actress Matt mattress actresses what what's on riding? What is that you don't know what a pop is? Psych you're not one of the kids. You're not cool with the kids. I know what talking heads is You don't know you don't know what a mattress actresses. That's what they call themselves now online to not get doxed They do that online mattress actress. They say that on TikTok now so they don't get fucked by the algorithm, right? You can't say porn star YouTube probably just banned me for the else is a corn. Yeah, they say corn star Or instead of saying instead of saying like someone died or murdered they said they got unalived unalived We talk like babies now. I don't like that. They got a life me Alive. Yeah, who started that imagine if the news was like an unalived mattress actress or a bump in the streets dude The news bloopers. I can't get enough of one of my favorite rabbit holes soldiers coming home early to surprise their kids and News bloopers two of Adam race favorite rabbit holes news bloopers. News bloopers. There's one where the woman goes and a man in And get this and get this a man in North Dakota was found A man who'd been lost for six days and they when they found him he was gay or blind. Yes, I love that one just totally and get this He's gay at blind. Yeah There's a couple real good ones. Oh, there's also a bug in the mouth black guy bug in the mouth Black guy by the fence get the bug in the mouth. What the fuck is that? That's so good. Oh, that's a guy in the being interviewed My favorite is serene Branson. We brought her up many times serene Branson outside of The terrace that has to have a day in the feather bed the feather pit back in the studio shout out serene We love you very well. You know, I did that video Serene Branson. So what do you mean you duped it? No, so back when you know we're throwing up YouTube vids Dunkin rocks sketches. That's right. Christmas party sketch. Yeah It's sloppy very sloppy Christmas still up on the tube Check it out this holiday season Christmas. Yeah, I know. I know. But what did I say you like Santa Claus come in town? I'm like big deal Yeah, we remember that's the hammer so four bottles of wine in blunts and then drink and then I Will push us into fucking space. We were just we were drunk. We were fine and drunk and then the weed a we're like We went back to 1969 actually landed on the moon. Yeah, yeah, we were the original ones, but so I was fucking Rack there's a video. It's on you roommate drove us if you drove us back. Thank God. I Did you know I was still trying to be topical with some videos and Literally, I'm at home. It was a Sunday night. What are we and it was said again? Where do we? Where do we? Yeah, you were Where do we did I just say that? No, I just you supposed to oh, nobody says owls anymore Oh, what don't take an L. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah By the way, I was a big fan of that kid. No, my school that had the where do we where do we speech them? What do we kid that said that we had a kid named Adam You were doing the best baseball player we have we had what our guy was William Wright, so unbelievable William white Oh, I can't say the guy's name because I'm gonna fucking I love seeing the full names. I've done it on this pod many I do sometimes for guys, but if I'm not friends with them anymore No, but my intentions are good and the shout outs. I've given of always. It's never been like this fucking, you know We had a guy with the list his name was send sold wettle. Imagine that that's gentle with gentle Yeah, you know what you guys, you know what speaking speaking for sent so well, which is me he only spoke in third person Yeah, I mean you can go down to it, but it's pretty slippery slope these days also in retrospect fucking killer name Send send send send is a dope name S. E. N. Yeah, send sold well. Let's go This is that's funny when I think about Adam lame name Andrew lame name like these are boring. They're right They're running the mill first minute first man, but first a real composer. They got some some you know buzz Andrew Lloyd Webber but Lloyd Wright. Who's that Frank Lloyd Wright build houses, Andrew Lloyd Webber Made one of the greatest musicals of all time and the way did I have a net you want to know how how art Faggy I might be had an Andrew Lloyd Webber poster in my fucking room as a kid I Thought fan of the opera was the greatest thing. Oh, yeah It was it was Batman. I've talked about this many times. Fan of the opera was Batman in this It's the way I loved Batman is the way I love fan of the opera you love Batman superman get fucked nerd never got it Spider-man can kick a bunch of rocks Peter Parker skinny dork get the fuck out of here also not real Batman was like you're like Oh, that's a guy a rich guy. Yeah, he's a piece of shit when you think about it But I did like I like to miss Batman as as as Bruce Wayne He's a fucking turd. Yeah, he's a rich philanthropist dickhead who throws like lavish parties and it's kind of rude You know he's paid off a lot of me two cases. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, he's great to women. Yeah, he hasn't as a bad cave Yeah, there's real consensual shit going on there. Yeah, Alfred has to watch it all. He's cuck in all of it Alfred I'll watch sir. He's like I'll film for you, sir Well, it was Morgan Freeman and then Michael Cain, right? So Michael Cain and then all of them was like Put your cell phone in this basket and sign this piece of paperwork before he enters you Is this normal? Well, it is today. It is for you. It is in and make sure to sign up for a visa express God He's selling master cards on the go cut where I have a deal in my Push the push the push that on the people biggest creep of all the of all the Me tours. Well, no male superheroes. Oh, yeah, not superheroes. Ironman He was cool. No, I was going to say I guess I mean like male James Bond was a fucking asshole. Yeah, he just like fucked everybody's wife and blew the world up And they were like, yeah, you're so Deben air James. Yeah, that was that time though. He was a dickhead. He was a dick when you really look at it Like this guy's a dick dude, but we like that. We like we like he likes it. Well, I'm glad he's British It's what the Kardashians are so famous. We like seeing people loaded and fucking doing cool shit Yeah, but they that's like 19 seasons of whatever at this point. What do they do? She got she's in a show by the way She what I tried to start this show last night. It's her Kim Kardashian Kim Kardashian. It's Oh Sarah Paulson And what's your name? Older white actress, not Blanche. Naomi Watts. Naomi Watts, but give me another one. Oh, me. You see Nash. Nope. You know what I'm looking for. The name, when I say, you'll be at one of the black. No, one of our best actresses. Glenn Close. Glenn Close. Oh, Glenn Close is amazing. Especially Rob Farther. What's that? Literally one of my favorites. All sphairs. All sphairs to show. It's on Hulu. And it's about, I think, divorce lawyers. And it looks failed. The bar. It should be a great. It should be. It's over to telling her whole family. So all four of our psychics are full of fucking shit because they all told me I was going to pass the bar. So just heads up, fire all of the psychics. I'm like, whoa. All these girls are packing up. I mean, they live at the Kardashian house on blast, dude. Wait. So Serene Branson. So Sunday night, I'm watching the-- How do we get away from that? Harrison. The head of the pit. The head of the pit? The head of the pit. The head of the pit. The Southern pit or whatever. Let's head to the pit. It was the Grammys. It was Sunday night. And I'm just like, in my room and, you know, smoked a bowl and got to get up and go put on the Wolverine Clause the next morning. And I'm watching Grammys in the background. And then Grammys end and she's out front. Look, let's go down to Serene Branson with a post-Grammys report on the winners and losers. Serene. Well, this was a crazy night. So many winners. So many losers. But at the end of the day, it's going to stay favorite and favorite. It's going to be Johnny Pemberton. A very heavy-- A very heavy-- A very heavy-- A very heavy-- A very heavy-- A very heavy-- A very-- A very-- Let's-- Let's go ahead. Say the patient has head to the pit. Get it a pit. Brilliant, by the way. All right, dude. I watched it about a thousand times. I don't know if it's worth pulling up my video, but I'll just at least send it to you. We'll pop it up. We'll pop it up. So I-- A full-timmed Taylor turned around to the TV go, "What the fuck?" I watched it in real time. No one's watching the post-news Sunday night Grammys report. It's literally you. Nobody. No, it's you. And I turn around and I go, "Get the fuck out of here." And I go, "And then she goes back to you." And then they go, "Well, and they have like nothing's wrong." And I just immediately go online. I get my fucking-- I set my thing up. I go, "I have to do a video that's-- I go, "What's the hook on this?" I go, "This is going to be news tomorrow." I just knew that. And I go, "I'm going to do a video breaking down what she said." So I do a video talking to camera and talk about it long hair out of my go. I go, "Guys, Adam right here." And I go, "Baba." And the three brands went on and I play the video and then I go, "Everyone's freaking out thinking something like she had some sort of panic attack." Which by the way, the next day, they covered up and we're like, "She had a stroke." She didn't have a stroke. I'll cut to the-- So I go, I go, "But what she said was actually all real words." And I break it down with like music and I go, "Los Tevin detected the Heather pit." I go, "That means like, they went out. They tried their bet. I just broken all down." And I put it up the next morning at like 8 a.m. And it-- I have two videos that went viral in a short amount of time. I remember the frog reaction to two girls one cup. Yeah. Got about 10 million in two days. Yeah, that was amazing. And then this one. I'd say by two o'clock that day, that 800,000 views on YouTube. Back then, that's fucking insane. That's like 20 million. What year was this that Serene Branson, do you mind? Oh God, I don't know. So it was-- We were still working at Universal Studios. Oh yeah. And it just popped, maybe 2010 or 2011? 2011. February. Boom, circle gets a square. So dude, fuck. So I-- So long ago. We had some subscribers. It's being-- it was back when Facebook didn't mind if you shared a YouTube link. Now they like-- they hide it. But it was getting-- So I was getting hit up by everyone I knew being like, "I've seen this." Because the news had barely covered it. It was starting to get-- but there was also no-- There were no videos on it. There were no-- Any other community that was trying to do a topical take, hadn't done it. So mine, when you searched her name-- It came up with you. It was the real video and my video and maybe another video. That's nice. And then I start-- then they put a report that says she had a seizure. She had a stroke. Right. And now-- I remember that. The comments are you-- Evil pieces of shit. Yeah, I never experienced that. And I panicked and I took it down. And you know what? And Skylar Stone goes, "You fucking idiot." He goes, "Don't ever cower." "Bubble, blah, you shouldn't." I go, "I just-- until they say it's whatever." And then I put it back up. And I put a disclaimer on the front being like they said she was fine. Here's the video. I think now it's got 40,000. And let me say something. And it was the first time you got hit with criticism and like that that heard on the internet. What's the lesson? People of the world have something to say. People of the world. People of the world. We'll be right back. [laughter] Did he hear? What a way. We pulled. Whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. Sturdy. Ginger. Like that has the ginger gene intricate. You only $5 for the whiskey. $75 for the whole. Swisky juice. Excellent. Ginger. I like ginger.