Adam Ray & Brent Morin

This episode is sponsored by Helix Sleep. If you go to helixsleep.com, you take their sleep quiz. It takes like a minute. Are you a back sleeper? Are you a back or side sleeper? Side. Same? Funny you ask, okay? Thanks. Because I used to be a side sleeper all my life, but the last three weeks, both my sides hurt. I forced to sleep on my back, and I never could, and I'm doing it now. And the only reason I'm doing it now is because I'm on a Helix mattress. Also, I've told you about this. Are you putting a pillow under your legs? No. I'm telling you, Dad. Put pillows under your legs. It puts pressure off your lower back. I love Helix mattresses. They will mail the mattress to you. Aunt Lauren has one. Right. Teddy got one. Teddy got one. We got one here and in the guest room. We got one here and the guest room. People are loving their Helix. Mark, if you want to try one at your place, you get a 120-day money-back guarantee. Go to helixsleep.com slash TISO for 20% off site-wide. 20% site-wide. That's helixsleep.com slash TISO. helixsleep.com slash TISO for 20% off site-wide. You know what I mean. What's the site? Do it. Helix Sleep. Helixsleep.com slash TISO for 20% off the site. Will you check my focus? McCone? Um, yeah, I'm good. McCone? Will you check if I'm focused? Mm-hmm. Okay. Ask me something. The capital of Tennessee. The only 10 I see. Focused. Welcome back to another episode of Take Your Shoes Off with Brent Morin and Adam Ray. This is going to be, uh, how do you say stoned on weed without YouTube being like, fuck it, these guys need to be 21, 25 to watch this episode. I do know that during the smoking weed, we probably bleeped it. And, and pixelated. Uh, we'll also be bleeping and pixelating when people are smoking because of YouTube. They're so sensitive. The whole world's sensitive. I guess we're overcorrecting, right? We should talk about that tonight. I don't know how people do solo podcasts already. I'm annoyed. Everyone's late, man. People are late. That's a thing. I've been late. I'll be late again. But before I'm late, I have an ETA of when I'm going to arrive. And before I'm late, I give a text and I'd be like, hey, I'm going to be, if my ETA says I'm four minutes, I'm going to be four minutes late and parking is easy. I'll maybe say I'm going to be five minutes late. But if it's four minutes late and you don't know parking, I'll say 10 minutes late. I'll round up. He did text me that he's going to be late. It was in a group chat and I didn't see it. Yeah, they're both 15 minutes late. Hilarious. They're both 15 minutes late. Hello? Yeah. Hey, we're outside at the gate. See you in a minute. I'll be out there in four seconds. Great. If you were to say four minutes, I'd think I was going to go home. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't want to be late. Be right out, boys. Turn the cameras on. Now I feel good. Sometimes you just got to say something passive-aggressive. You don't know the proper way to say it. Is, hey, I'll be out there in four seconds. Hey, Adam, you want an edible, not a joint? Jesus. I'm tired. You sound like me when I. Your hair looks beautiful, by the way. New conditioner? Watch out. Jesus. What if I killed Alvin by sitting on him? Well, we'd have to leave right away. Or would we? Theme music. No, I'm joking. Yeah, I've been letting it grow out. But, you know, there's some gray popping in. My mom hates that I wear a hat. Really? Yeah, she's like, you have this head of hair. That's the story. It's funny how moms are our biggest critics. But our biggest fans. As Brian from the Backstreet Boys sings about. Mom, you always were the perfect fan. One of my favorite songs. Not even of just the Backstreet Boys, but of mom songs. Yeah, my mom. Do you know if I could raise the ISO without turning the camera off? My mom told me. I was doing this movie, The Outdoorsman. Ooh. How can we get it? I happened to be not in great shape at the time touring, you know? And they offered it to me. They were like, you're going to be an out of shape writer. So I took that as. Jason, we're good. Jason, we're good. We're going and we're eating and we're doing everything. Pierogies, we're in Pittsburgh and all that. Oh, yeah. But I wasn't aware that I was over 30 and weight came on quick. Yes. So then my mom, I'm in Plattsburgh, New York. She comes up for the show, knows I got a movie. First thing she says when she sees me, she goes, is this movie star shape? This episode is sponsored by AG1, which has over 50,000 verified five-star reviews and comes with a 90-day money-back guarantee. For a limited time only, go to drinkag1.com slash TISO to get a free AG1 flavor sampler and AGZ sampler to try all the flavors, plus free vitamin D3 plus K2 and AG1 welcome kit with your first AG1 subscription order. I mean, come on, gifts galore. This is a limited time offer, only available while supplies last. That's drinkag1.com slash TISO. Drinkag1.com slash TISO. Start your business today. Start your business today with the industry's best business partner, Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com slash TISO. That's shopify.com slash T-Y-S-O. I've been working on my hour and I'm really happy with where it is and I'm just trying to get some more reps in to build up and get my special going. If you want to come to a show, I'm going to tell you the list of dates right now, but also, I keep adding new dates. Go to punchup.live slash Rick Glassman to buy tickets. You could also sign up for my email list. I'm going to email you only when I am coming within 50 miles of your city. So if you don't see your city on this list and you want to be notified, sign up for my email list. I really don't use it much at all, just letting people know when I'm coming there. Starting next weekend, Feb 26th through 28th, I'm in Denver, Colorado. March 26th through 28th, Houston, Texas. April 23th through 25th, Austin, Texas. May 1st and 2nd, Cleveland, Ohio. May 7th and 9th, Irving, Texas. And I'm in Portland, Oregon. A lot of notice there, September 10th through 12th. I'm booking more shows before and after summer. Sign up for my email list. Get some tickets. Come on out. All right. Oh, God. She wasn't wrong. I look horrible. Yeah, dude. Moms, they have no shortage of feedback and critique. Yeah. And they've seen you at every, every size and shape, at every stage. Yes. Every stage and shape. Yeah. You know, what's so funny is my mom, when I was at my fattest, never gave me a hard time because she said that her dad, my grandpa, R.I.P., gave her a hard time. So she never wanted to do that to me. And I was like, well, when we were, when I was asking if I could borrow your bra, wasn't that a pretty good sign that maybe you should step in? Did you really? Yeah. No, but I. Were you a t-shirt in the pool, kid? I'm going to let you answer that for yourself. Yeah. My older brother was. Yeah. But it. That sucks. That sucks. But, but, and that's what I wonder too, if I, if my folks stayed together for a while, if like my dad would have stepped in. He never really, my friend's dads were the ones that always said like, hey, you got time for a titty fuck after you slam that granola bar? They gave you the shit? Shout out to, shout out to all the dads. See, I had the opposite. It was, I couldn't put a pound on. It's amazing how we're not happy at every stage of our lives of what we look like. Oh, yeah. Hey, Rick. Hey, Rick. Hey, guys. It took a little bit of time for me to fix that setting. Looks like we were on time. I have joints and edibles. Told you. It's not about you. It's about him. But, you know, the edibles, obviously the edibles take a little bit of time. I'm okay with that. I think I want to ease into this. I don't want to get too high too quick. To be honest with you, there's a part of me that thought, maybe I'm going to not get high on today's episode. But then I remembered where I was and who I was with. You don't have to get high. I totally support that. I love being high with you, but I. I also love being sober. You a narc? Hey, look, man. I'll do the drugs. Okay. Just give me my wallet back. Joke's on you. I don't have a wallet. Oh! I'm a narc. Take the. Take the. Take the. Take the. Take the. What are you doing? Are you doing. What are you doing? Trying to win an Oscar. Take. Take the bag and put it in the other bag. You always got to get quiet. Yeah. I'd say, you know, that's a scene they play in the trailer at the Oscars. Mm-hmm. It's. Everyone's whispering. In every Oscar clip that they play where they're like, Diane Wiest for the train conductor. And she's like. And she's like, wait, this is actually a great game because the Oscars are coming up. Ready? Yes. So everyone's gonna. Everyone's gonna take turns doing what I did and then the other person's gonna do the actor. Okay? Okay. So I just set up my own alley-oop, but here we go. Diane Wiest in the train conductor and then everything's quiet. I can't get on that train. But I can't. Oh, okay. Sarah Michelle Gellar in The Bat. I'm going to put the air purifier on. Just do Sarah Michelle. Or should I say. This movie is so. It's a silent movie. Great director. I'm already having a great time. Oh, dude, wait. Brett, your turn. Okay. Set one up and then Rick will get up. Sure. Diane Wiest in The Architect. No, no, no. She's not nominated twice. That is one final. Okay. Weird. Yeah, come on. Weird. It's her year, but. Diane Wiest, brother Brian Wiest in The Architect 2. Back in the habit. I don't know if I have it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm worried about this. Oh, right there. Richard Glassman in The Debt Collector. I'm a little worried about that. Oh, wait, no, it's going to be. No, it's too loud. That's the problem, Rick. You can't win an Oscar. You're too loud. Yeah, I know. That's what my acting teacher told me when I. Fucked his dog up again. What was he, what was it? You're getting a handjob from him? Yeah, that's what my acting teacher told me when I was getting a handjob from him. Oh, no, not on me. Too loud. Dooley, you're too loud, Richard. You're too loud. You go, call me Rick when you jerk me off. Oh, it feels good. I was like, oh, that's too loud. Feels good. Now you found it. Let it out. Let it out. Drips down the pants. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I got it. Ready? Ready? Wait. Sarah Michelle Gellar in. You really don't know Sarah Michelle Gellar. Yeah, I heard her say that. Phillips. No. No. R.I.P. R.I.P. Who's a good actor? Gary Oldman. Gary Oldman in Drips Down the Penis. Well, I do find it quite interesting the way my semen is not particularly wise. Sweetheart, this is a wedding speech. I can't. Tell you how much I can't be here. Joseph Gordon-Levitt in The Floor. I can't get my hair to floor right. All right. Yeah. Odd choice this year. Rob Lowe in Playing Gordon-Levitt. I can't get my hair. What did you say? Have you guys ever seen the videos where. We didn't do the women. The dogs. Shit for that. Oh, let's do this. Let's do this. I think this is important. Oh, that's right. Diane Weiss got a big shout out. R.I.P. Catherine O'Hara, by the way. Oh, man. That broke my heart. Let's quickly go around. That broke my heart. Let's quickly go around and say our favorite. God, she's so good. Let's quickly go around and do our favorite Catherine O'Hara moments. All right. Like just a moment you love. I have a feeling you're going to do the same moment I do. I love this. Go ahead. Daylight come and me one go. Go home. It's six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch. Daylight come and me one go home. Nice. That's not necessarily my favorite. Sing in nursing homes as a child. I did. All right, you go. But you just have to do the score from it. Okay. Oh, well, the song she did with Eugene Levy and a mighty wind was really great. But best in show is in my top five movies of all time. Yeah. Truly it is. Uh, and her as she Corky, no, no, but is when she goes to, when they go to visit Larry Miller, her, a guy she slept with on the way to the dog show. And he's like, remember the, and she's like, ah, was that you? And then he goes, he goes, oh, you don't, you don't forget the best. You know, you know, he goes, you know who it was. I mean, they're improvising. And then Eugene Levy's like, well, it was a long time ago and we all did stuff, bro. You're right. I got to rewatch it. She's just, I guess what it is is she's so present and present in, in so many things. She's home alone, obviously very grounded, but in best in show, she's just plays a, like, you know, kind of a, like a slut. She was in curb in curb when she played the crazy girl that slept with Bam Bam and slept with Jeff. I just rewatched that episode literally, uh, after she's so what's going on. Yeah. Yeah. Right. People say that. Right. By the way, Larry and Jeff, uh, sound like he's peeking. Yeah. Me. Yeah. What is this? High school? Well, that was great. Thank you. That was clap. That was New Yorker stuff. Adam Ray in the peeker. Everyone's always like, but it's spelled pecker. We keep talking at him. Talk to Warner brothers about that. Check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check. No, for the mix. We just changed. Check, check, check, check, check, check, the kid from blank check pitching a song to the studio about the movie. Check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check. Oh, it was, he wrote the movie. He wrote the song. That's why it's so bad. Cause he was a kid. Yeah. He had no juice. He just goes check, check, check, check, check. It's a blank. Check, check, check, check. Do you remember character juice? That's why I said it. Tupac? From Ace Ventura and blank check. Oh, look. Oh, Oh, Jay. Was he named juice in Ace Ventura as well? I think so. That's crazy. So, and I couldn't have, what was the girl's name that couldn't win two Oscars? Dan Weest. Yeah. But, but tone low could be juice and Ace Ventura and blank check. You got a lot of kids. So what's the habs? I mean, bro, Larry and Jeff Garland, you can tell they're genuinely getting ready to crack up. Yeah. And that's, what's so great is like, Larry's an easy laugher, but like, they just were like, they were probably, we're both like, I can't believe we got her for this. Right. You know, what's so great about that show? Just a sidebar is that Larry has no problems with like, with affairs. He's like, you just fucked the mental patient. And then he's mad that somebody overheard. He goes, look at Ted dancing. It's rad. Oh yeah. And then they go to the dinner scene and Funkhouse was like, I don't know what you guys did, but you really bam, bam. Best spirits. And Jeff's like, well, you got to take care of them. You know, kind of, you just talk, treat them like, treat them like people. And then, and then she's looking over one and he's like, and then she goes, he goes with his glass. And then they cut to Larry going, oh my God, dude. And Larry didn't do anything wrong, but as immediately Jeff's he's now he's the, and then they're like, no, send her back, send her back. You know, we got to put her back at a home. All right. That's what I think of people. If people really like Herb, then you would love the 2026 web series, the sixth lead. You should check it out. Not a bad. We'll put a link in the description right here or a description in the link. We can even put a picture up here where you could click on it. Zach Braff's in the sixth lead. Sam Richardson, Zach Braff. You got a lot of people. Brent Moore and Adam Ray, huh? Brent Moore is in it. He's in it for a minute. It took place at this, at the, on the Warner Brothers lot where you weren't at the time you were universal as Wolverine. Thank you. Let's cut to a clip. Let's cut to a clip. We don't have it. I was on a guest star of Two Broke Girls that shot. Oh, really? It shot in the same studio, actually, that you guys shot Undateable in. We should have had you on the sixth lead. Andrew Santino's in it. I would have done it. I don't think we, well, we were buds then. I don't know. Maybe you just thought I was too busy being an X-Men. We didn't really get close until 2019. In my mind, I mean, this level. Yeah. When we started podcasting a bunch. Yes. Because it is funny how that, this platform does, I mean. You can speak that better than anybody. I mean, there's people that you've had over here now that you're probably like, no, I could, there's probably a different level of comfort with each one of them, but where you could like, oh, I could text this person if I. Yeah, but there's people who I never met who I became friends with. There's people I was already friends with who I became very close with. Yes. How about this? Anyone you were friends with, podcasted with, and now they're on your shit list. Well, there's one guy who I like, but I'll only podcast with him if he's with another friend of mine. David Hyde Pierce in the shit. Oh, me. Speaking of Wolverine, I have an interesting thing to show you. Speaking of Wolverine, sorry, but that is a great movie title. Who's in that? Thinking of Wolverine? Speaking of Wolverine. Hugh Jackman. Hugh Jackman, Wolverine. Ben Kingsley. And the Goblin. Ben Kingsley. Rick Glassman. Wow. But you have been immortalized, my friend. People were clamoring for a title card of mine. I love these Taiso cards so much. Scott Hepburn is the illustrator. I actually have a few of his comics. I want to talk about this because Scott Hepburn has been a part of this podcast for a long time. And I want to tell you some other things that he does. Got some dope books signed by him. And pardon me for reading this. I just want to read it so I have an efficient use of it. But I'm a huge fan. I mean, obviously, I'm a huge fan of his. But I'm a huge fan of his. But his stuff is incredible. He has a series called Minor Threats. It's in comic book stores now. It's published by Dark Horse Comics by co-creators Patton Oswalt, Jordan Bloom, and Taiso's favorite comic book artist, Scott Hepburn. It's in the vein of Sin City, Watchmen, and The Boys. If you are a comic book reader, check this out if you haven't already. Minor Threats is a gritty, pulpy, and charming story that follows a team of C-list villains through a world of heroes, gods, and evil masterminds. Ask for Minor Threats at your local comic book shop and check out all the titles in the Minor Threats universe, like Minor Threats Volume 3, The Last Devil Left Alive, and Archie vs. Minor Threats. threats ongoing and on shelves now also for modok fans it's kind of the same team behind that i mean they're sweet welcome to the club is this the first one this is your adam ray brent do you mind dr phil is dr strange adam ray wow dude finally wow can i have it they're 17 dollars venmo i don't have venmo he's a zell guy zell and paypal oh yeah zell you know what and you could be my paypal for 17 dollars i never even thought about it that way paypal you want to be my paypal that's yeah it's the oh yeah it's social media for finances it's a jewer jewier pen what jewer sounded bad jew i said jewier i can say it oops you're jewish i'm not love bar mitzvahs i remember the first time somebody said to me they go the guy was kind of jewish but they knew i was a jew so they were like trying to like wink wink like you get it i was like that's not how this works i had a guy pitch me a joke once he goes you want to hear i like all your jew stuff this is in st louis i go great did one joke about he goes i like all the jew stuff i got a pitch for you what's a jewish dilemma i go what he goes a free ham sandwich a jewish deli ma i would think it's a sandwich from my ma probably also i'm sorry i don't i don't think whatever you were wanting from telling us that story i don't think i allowed it was my fault well oh oh i don't think i was gonna i was gonna bring up this app i was using and then i decided not to bring it up let's talk about the app it no because it's i don't it's not a sponsor and we shouldn't talk it's and it's a sponsor it's like a gambling you want to make a bet so i was thinking it'd be kind of funny if i made a bet while we're doing the pod you bet look at just making a bet right now yep wow that's too easy by the way kids are in trouble oh yeah holy shit you just did two clicks hey hey hey i mean look all you gotta do is google boobies and you get porn right now i gotta do could you give me a second i have to check if um i could google boobies and see if i could see boobies that was delroy lindo in the google search delroy lindo is it from star wars no that's lando calrissian um i just got a missed call that's his name from someone and i'm gonna give him a call back and i want to see if you guys could figure out who it is so much these pants david hyde pierce did you see my phone already i know you got that post bike sweat huh yeah and i took a shower right before didn't didn't keep hi it's kevin please leave a message thank you kevin feige kevin marble marble wait a second did you know he wasn't gonna pick up no he called and i was calling back kevin kevin kevin mccallister that's what i was doing wait i do want to figure this out what kevin do you know well the first kevin's that come to mind kevin johnson the ex-basketball player for the phoenix sons i think you got me too in sacramento google it you could google anything huh boobs sacramento delroy lindo from star wars lando calrissian um kevin kevin kevin who who you sound like matthew mcconaughey auditioning for for the dad to play kevin mccallister his dad kevin kevin kevin i always wanted wondered if john goodman went good man man good good man man good yeah i liked it i got a lot of downtime star wars god this shirt's too tight let's get into it you're always complaining about how tight your stuff is do you not buy new stuff you're always complaining about how tight your stuff is do you not buy new stuff you gotta you gotta quit door dashing haynes no also the way you sit down dude your cough sounds like a sneeze yeah i don't think adjusting the blanket's gonna fix your nervous system yeah yeah you need this i do there you go the lack of ass i slide the lack of ass it's true every time i'm on a plane i fall asleep i it's like i wake up my feet are parallel with the person in front of me well yeah first of all good luck sleeping on a plane i can who raise your hand if you can sleep on a plane no i'm like benicia del toro and uh oh well 21 grams no and uh sicario when he's on the plane and he goes i haven't seen it i haven't seen it you never saw sicario here's my impression of a guy that hates spoilers a lot but also he's seen movies and he forgets what's in the movie he would also forget the spoiler but he doesn't want to lie that he's never seen it and he goes like say what you just said again you don't remember in the scene in sicario when uh benicia was sleeping oh no no no i haven't seen in a while i haven't seen in a while i haven't seen in a while in a while funny funny funny new character yeah his name's kevin we tried to call him about a minute ago but you guys forgot to set it up fuck kevin oh i have a game so we are um doing our thing in podcasting and every now and then one of us checks our phone we see some and we also agreed that we're not going to be on our phones but just a quick check maybe it was the time yeah and we see something that we really really need to respond to and it's really important but we're not going to do it but it kind of changes our mindset i'll go first and then you guys have to guess what the message was and what it was about and how i felt about it based on my performance great okay okay and for the people at home we will put up afterwards john michael let you know we'll put up what it is so they could play along i think you're gonna go and for people at home this is the part to skip i like this game me too here we go yeah yeah okay um but we don't have to do it right now we'll just i'll go first we'll just yeah so you're not doing weed now huh just tonight just tonight um which by the way i'm i'm already thinking about when i'm going to you know tonight tonight yeah got it yeah i i don't have to leave i got a flight i gotta get up around seven tomorrow um lax and not burbank oh that's the best and not that i yeah totally 9 9 45 out of burbank so nice so but i just i've been smoking the last four or five days and waking up a little groggy so i'm like i maybe want to like be a little clear headed tomorrow but that being said i do succumb to peer pressure where are you flying to uh austin texas wait uh i say what you're saying about smoking are you not going to smoke i am but i'm just i'm trying to feel the moment out um i just want to go downhill you all right yeah what's up well you looked at your phone when he was telling us yeah um do you guys mind if we take a break for so they're bringing the wheeze back and i'm on a wait list and target is getting five of them and they said that i could have one and i had a missed call and i think it's from the manager and i just want to make sure there's an issue what's the wheeze the wheat and nintendo we oh the tennis with the you bought you bought well yeah and and um do you guys mind if no no nice wow that was me checking my phone glassman in the weed how's it spelled wii i cool yeah the asian way brett moran in the asian way it's just brett eating panda express with a fork leave it in yeah forget it dude we're three feet deep we're three feet deep six feet under how's what's those contradict each other i don't know what do i look like a math guy i once uh said with with a with a d with with in front of a physics teacher yikes i'll tell you something i really think he liked me more after i said width width width width width like the width of something yes width yeah i just i also remember once i also remember once i i uh i uh i don't know how it came up but i was with a uh but with a bio i was with a biology teacher very good and uh list and he it's waste i said i have all the numbers memorized by three just making a joke like you just have to count plus three to everything and he said really let me hear and i did three six nine twelve fifteen eighteen twenty one twenty four twenty seven thirty thirty three thirty six thirty nine forty two forty five i don't really have a memorize you're just going up three yeah and i was like being silly and i remember he started looking at me different like in a better way and i remember you even then said to me he said to me you have you have the mind of an elephant and i didn't know if he was making a joke back because at the time i didn't know that elephants are known for having big dicks long big mem long memories long memories this is funny put this in your special this is funny do you think that story you could do that what he just did was so impressive yeah the mystery plus three yeah man don't talk down to me because i'm putting okay three six nine twelve uh fifteen fucking uh eighteen twenty one twenty four thirty i panicked it was a support you gave me that was the name of his movie panic express wait what was the first thing you did as a kid where like you felt like oh that's a pretty cool like people were like whoa you can do like was it dunk on the outs on on the uh the recess hoop that was like a little lower or was it you know i'm saying like did you read did you do the fucking the ring man that's a little i remember it's a little and it's a little it's a little dark go ahead adam ray in 60 minutes in new correspondent you do the fucking bad shit yeah yeah yeah worst 60 minute interview ever so rick when you were a child was it all the rain man math stuff that made you popular or was it there Pokemon Express you were riding. And you go, I don't know how to answer that. He goes, ah, Lando Calrissian. From Star Wars? Yes. But I'm serious. What was the skill or thing that you found? In fifth grade, I think it was fifth grade, there was a competition for drawing stuff for Halloween. I don't know. And I traced this out of like mummy goblin guy on a piece of paper. And I submitted it. I wasn't in my head. I wasn't thinking you're not allowed to. I wasn't pretending I didn't trace it. I was just like, you got to draw a picture. So like, that's how I'll do it. Tracing is what Photoshop was. Tracing for us is like what Photoshop is for other kids. Remember tracing? Senator. Please, please, please, please. What are we doing about the border? Tracing. It was AI. So then it won a competition among some other people. Like it was an actual competition where you would then take this thing and you get to now paint it on one of the windows of one of the local shops around town. Mine was Flix, which was the movie store. This was before I knew about Blockbuster, but maybe it existed. Yeah. This is the hometown movie. How do you not know about Blockbuster? I didn't know about, you don't know about Blockbuster until you do. Well, he was young. So we didn't have a Blockbuster. The first Blockbuster that came probably came, I don't know. I'm making this up, but let's say 95, 96. No, the first Blockbuster was Jaws. Right? Got him. Guy who doesn't listen. So does it matter? Yes. Keep going. Sorry. Kill the momentum. You drew Flix. You drew Flix. So I then, I had me paint my drawing on the glass window of Flix. But you traced it. But they give you something to trace it on the window. Oh, great. And when they gave me that, I remember thinking, yeah, it's fine to trace. Side note. I remember this Flix, this movie store, rentals that had movies over here, movies over here, and there's a little like hallway. And in that little hallway, there was one swinging door to the pornos. Yeah. And I had a curtain. This was a swinging door. So you would want to walk by when there was an adult walking by because then you might get a moment of the swing. You can see a tit on a VHS cover or something. Awesome. Awesome. I remember, I don't know why, but I do remember because when you walk by, they could see me, so I can't push open and look. But like you couldn't quite see underneath and you could look underneath because it was a saloon style swinging doors. I don't remember, not being funny, really think I was being sly. Stallone? I was looking for cliffhanger. That's what I told them. I love cliffhanger. I army crawled underneath so I could look under at the boobs of the tape. I remember like just this, this kid crawling on the ground to look at the boobs. That's the memory just popped back into my head. Where's my son? Where's my horny son? Starting something new could be scary. It could be difficult. You don't know what you're doing. You don't know if people will like it. You don't know how much it's going to cost. You don't know if you're going to make money. You don't know how long you have to do until you start making money. You don't know if you're ever going to start making money. You don't know if you're even doing it for the money. Believe me, I've been there. When I first started this podcast, one of my reasons was actually because of you, Brent. Brent and I and our other buddy, John DeWalt, we all used to live in the same building and we would just be in and out of each other's places and we were just doing jokes in the morning, at nighttime. It was just awesome. So I thought, hey, I think I might want to record this and maybe do something with it online. That ended up becoming this podcast and I'm so glad that we started it and it's a lot of work to start a business. It's nice to get a little bit of help like what they do at Shopify. 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However, after I've gotten up and going, I end up sometimes not making the bed. So, maybe not the best example but other little things like starting your day with proteins and or vitamins and or not starting with cereal, sugar, snacks and carbohydrates. A lot of supplements overcomplicate things with tons of pills and times of day that you need to take them. AG1 simplifies your nutrition, multivitamin, pre and probiotics, superfoods and antioxidants all in one scoop. It's an easy daily reset that brings foundational nutrition no matter what your schedule throws at you. It's easy. It's one scoop. Shake it up or get one of those things that I have where you Brent, you're going to like this. They've added more vitamins and minerals than ever. Clinically proven to fill common nutrient gaps. AG1 has over 50,000 five-star reviews and comes with a 90-day money-back guarantee which means you could use it for two months. Say you don't like it and return it. I mean, if you like it, obviously keep it but if not, it's a money-back guarantee and I'll be honest, it kind of helps us out so if you do go to this, you are supported. Thank you for watching the podcast. For a limited time only, go to drinkag1.com slash Tyso to get a free AG1 flavor sampler and AGZ sampler to try all the flavors plus free vitamin D3 plus K2 and AG1 welcome kit with your first AG1 subscription order. This is a limited time offer only available while supplies last. That's drinkag1.com slash Tyso. Drinkag1.com slash TY at This episode is sponsored by Helix Sleep. You go to helixsleep.com you take their sleep quiz it takes like a minute or you go back sleeper or you go back or side sleeper. Side sleeper. Side. Same? Funny you ask, okay? Thanks. Because I used to be a side sleeper all my life but the last three weeks both my sides hurt and I forced to sleep on my back and I never could and I'm doing it now and the only reason I'm doing it now is because I'm on a Helix mattress. Also, I've told you about this are you putting a pillow under your legs? No. I'm telling you, dad put pillows under your legs it puts pressure off your lower back. Aunt Lauren has one. Right. Teddy got one. Teddy got one. We got one here and in the corner. Guest room. Here and the guest room. Mark, if you want to try one at your place you get a 120 day money back guarantee. Go to helixsleep.com slash TISO for 20% off site wide. 20% site wide. helixsleep.com slash TISO for 20% off site wide. What's the site? Do it. Oh. And then Blockbuster came and I remember at Blockbuster you need to be a certain age to rent rate at our movies but you don't need to be any certain age to buy them. Also no porn section of Blockbuster. But they had showgirls. They did. And I couldn't rent it but I was able to buy it. You could see it. I bought it. You bought it. They let me buy it. Wait, that's a there's a screw what is it? A kink in the armor? When she gets fucked in the pool. Are you talking about Panda Express again? Hey, that one's on you. What? I already got out of the boat. Wait, I'm saying you're supposed to eat and go in a pool 30 minutes later. Yeah. He's talking about going in the pool. Wait, Panda Express eating after 30 minutes. What did you think I meant? I'm already in the fucking weeds with weed. By the way, can we give a shout out to all the dads that actually went to the public went to no, went to the public video store walked into that section. They had to sit in that car and go give a fuck. Yeah. Horny. Also getting the tape in front of their other dad friends or their mom or the moms was brave to jerk off. Moms like porn. I've been saying it for weeks. I met a couple of moms who like porn. I can't stop talking about it. I haven't for weeks. Do you think there was this one guy that dramatic spotlight music there was this one guy that he was an assistant coach on the baseball team and he went back there and the you know they don't make it easy to get porn at these local places. I realized like I always had empathy for these these sickos because the boxes were always bigger like like for some reason what is it 19 hours of fucking porn. Yeah. And they put it right on the box just tits and boobs and I remember I saw a penis and I was like oh he's gay. All right. And I thought that was a really interesting way to learn. I don't think I was listening enough to what you were saying. I think I trailed off. I don't know what I was talking about. I do remember trying to sneak in an R-rated movie with my mother. Why would you need to sneak in with her? Well because she's paying for it but you're trying to sneak it in. Like on her shoulders with a trench coat. Wait to save money or because you're not old enough? Because I was a kid. I was probably like 11 but I got a movie called Orgasmo. Oh yeah. That sounds familiar. It's from the basketball guys. It's from the South Park guys. I think so. Yeah it is. But it just they had tits on the front. Were you referring to Matt and Trey as the first choice was from basketball and then you remembered South Park but you don't know their names. I love basketball. I liked it. I saw it in the theaters. You did? Yeah. Interesting. I saw Shanghai Nights twice in the theaters. Wow. I remember you and I got in a little bit of a scuffle but it was Because you thought Shanghai Nights was the first one and Noon was the second one. And I was saying Shanghai Noon is the first one and Nights is the second one. It makes so much sense. Noon comes before night. Yeah. But you thought Shanghai Night was the first one. It is. No, it's not. What? Wait, so zoom on me with the music. But fuck! I'm losing. What came first, Shanghai Noon or Shanghai Nights? You got that right. I just, I need to know. What is it? Shanghai Noon came out in 2000, followed by the sequel, Shanghai Nights, 2003. Night, Noon. Noon is first. All right. Depends when you wake up. Depends when you go to bed. That's the one with the little Asian guy, right? Perfect. Yeah. It's a good way to save it. Do you think when you said it's fine to trace, I've been stuck on this. Warren Beatty? Yes. Is that where you're going to get to? I was going to say, do you think it's when you said, but I said, you know, it's fine to trace. Do you think somebody was like, I thought he meant it's fine to Tracy, the superintendent who was overseeing all of the murals that were going on. So maybe there was a misunderstanding and they were like, we wanted you to draw it, Rick. But since somebody said it's fine to trace, they meant it's fine to Tracy to make the final call on this. But you thought she said it's fine to trace. And now I've got a bunch of colored pencil. Okay. I didn't know where you were going. And what am I, what is this from, by the way? I'm going to get heated. This is the end of the movie monologue for the trailer. And now there's colored pencil all over the window. And now I got to come in. Now I got to come in at 7 a.m. on a goddamn Sunday to clean up all the pencil off the window. I don't even know where to get soap. Adam Ray, soap. You could have just taken a couple more seconds of thought. Yeah, it's just any other name. Oh, that's from a real movie? Any other title. Soap. Well, I was going to say colored pencil. Then I was going to say colored. That was with Whoopi Goldberg, right? Yeah. The colored pencil. That was because they want it for all the different territories. So they can make it anything. Wait, she was in the color purple though, right? Or was that Oprah? It depends on how you see things. I just mentioned this on an episode recently, but I hosted an award show for the HCA's and the cast of the color purple, the new one, was in the front row. And they were not liking my act. I just want to cut to a reaction of it. I have an app that does something. I know this room is very anti-artificial intelligence. It's fine. Calm down. One second. Hey, please make me an opening sketch for the 2024 HCA Film Awards hosted by Rick Glassman. I think it's just a podcast. Make it smart. Make it current. Make it matter. Figure it out. You got it. Marty. So you're on stage because I was there. You were on stage and you were doing well. You did a great job. It's just the cast of the color purple didn't like it. But then you saw the color purple cast. So I'm picturing you going. I didn't notice it until the video. We're going to bring up. You want their approval so bad. I didn't notice until I saw it on tape. Did part of you go, fuck, am I being racist? Yeah. Why didn't they like what you were doing? I was being really. I was playing with the format of a host show. And this was the opening. And they were in the front and probably winning stuff. And it's, you know, a real award show. They take it seriously. Yeah. And I just think they were like, who's this guy? What is this? Yeah. You know, we haven't seen Undateable. You know what's so funny about that? It's like people at home don't know all the, all those thoughts are going on while you're on stage. Like maybe they just don't know who I am. Maybe I said something wrong. God, what am I even doing up here? This is bullshit. That wasn't happening. Man, Haley Steinfeld looks so fucking hot. I do remember. Oh man, she looked great. Nobody commits though in the silence and the moments of desperation more than Richard Glassman. He says you, Bob. What? That's Adam Ray in the meanest compliment you can give somebody. No, no. Adam Ray. Staying in the pocket. 100%. Yeah. It's like nobody knows how to like. Fight or flight. Nobody knows how to like, like, you know how when you put yourself in a situation where nobody likes you and everybody else would just bail and be like, they would say, I'm just joking. Or they would like soften it in some way so other people become comfortable. You never feel the need to do that. You just lean in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You have to. And it's an acquired skill set. I think we've all. Takes time. I can confidently say we all, I think, are conveying that on stage these days. Brent, I feel like you've been doing it from the get-go. Ever for like the first time I saw. When you first had that Geico campaign. I agree. From the get, from the Geico. Yeah. From the Geico. Brent's been confident since the Geico. I was really bad in the beginning though. I actually remember you killing it when I first made buddies with you and I'm at the Ha Ha and I can't even get on the regular show and you were improvising with the crowd. I couldn't get away from it. If I got heckled, I couldn't address because I'd forget what I was going to talk about. Oh, man. And I remember you said like, Jesus, bud. And you looked at this guy and you said, what did you say? You go, Jesus, that beard made out of bark? That's the driest beard I've ever seen. And it made me laugh so hard. Like, where'd he pull that out from? Oh, I thought he was saying Jesus, bro, to you. Like he saw you just. No, he just saw some dude in the crowd and he just was doing a joke and then saw the dude. You know what I appreciate? I appreciate that you at least had some level of specificity with that because most people, in my experience, when they try to like, you know, hanker back to a moment, they're like, I remember the first time I saw you, dude. And he was like, dude, your crowd work, it's just like, you are like, you're just dialed in, man. I remember the last show I came to, some guy, you know, he was like wearing some shirt and you were like, fuck you, you fucking bitch. And he was like, dude, you're good, man. You know what I'm saying? That's what I usually, and I'm like, you're don't even, A, I didn't do that. Yeah. And B, that's, do you even take it? Like, why would I go? Yeah, man, I'm pretty down at the moment. It was so funny. And I was like, I never even would have put that in my head, tree bark as this guy's beard. I do. I do. I remember. I'll remember. I do cherish you. Who sang it? I do cherish you from the depths of my soul. It's beyond my control. I've waited so long to say this to you. If you're asking, do I love you this much? Baby, I do. I do cherish you. Oh my God. From the depths of my soul. Dude, that part is crazy. Is that 90 degrees? Yes. But it's 100 degrees in here right now. Do you want me to turn the AC on? Let me take my coat off. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm dying. I remember. By the way, that was really accidentally great. Like the harmonies, you weren't planning to harmonize. Thanks, man. We're really dialed in right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The sequel to the shittiest compliment ever. Diane Wiest again. Three time nom. Now she can come back. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Three time nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. They cut to her. She goes, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. And the Oscar goes to not Diane Wiest. Oh, can you imagine? Boo, boo, boo. Diane Wiest? I didn't know. She brings her mic. She's somehow plugged in. She's just so used to winning. Yeah. She goes, I was dialed in. She's wearing a DJ Khaled t-shirt. It was really good, though. Doesn't she have a lot of those? No, I can't. Can you say why? Say why. Why? Because the other day, I saw her. She was wearing another one. Ah. Ah, nice. We'll keep it in. So I remember the time. 2009, 2010 probably. Nice. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, latest. Probably 2009 at the Ha Ha Cafe. And I've told you this before. I don't know if we ever talked about it on a podcast. Not to be confused with the Rainforest Cafe in Burbank, which happens a lot. Used to be a great open mic. Oh, really? If you could handle being heckled by a toucan. And even two can't be heckled by a you can. Sorry. Me too. Follow your heart. Follow my nose. Damn it. Maybe I shouldn't smoke weed. Light it up. Also, the only problem with the Rainforest Cafe is that all that mist gets in the bread. That might be the funniest thing ever said on a podcast. Not a chance. And it was hysterical. Not a chance. The mist on the bread. First of all, who's critiquing Rainforest Cafe? Oh, I loved it. I loved it. I think I'm just taking you literally. Gotcha. Like, Adam Devine and I got in a big fight once because I said, we were talking about basketball and we came about on Eddie Jones. We've been on the road for like 30 days straight. Loved Eddie Jones. I go, oh, Eddie Jones was unbelievable. Adam goes, I mean, he wasn't unbelievable. He was 6'9", black, and really athletic. He was pretty believable. And I go, I think it was fucking unbelievable. And I just like doubled down and we got, it was like end of the tour. We hadn't slept. All we've done is drink and did shows. Adam might want some. I'll take a buff. Will you give the plate? But keep going? By the way, your whisper, I'm sorry, I'm stuck on this. That was good. That was honest and worthy. That is Frankie Muniz in Cutlery. Can you give the plate? I'm going to do one more. Ready? Here, you set me up and I'll do the line. It's my first smoke. So set me up. What actor I am and what it's from. You're Diane Wiest in the autobiography about Abraham Lincoln. She's his wife. And we're not blown to the microphone. Worst pitch. you're never home you're always not home that's really good that was really good Mrs. Lincoln was a pothead we took some creative liberties with the movie we took some creative liberties I'm so high because of the liberty of our country I mean this isn't hitting very well yeah I messed it up still got something still got enough to hang out with my buds bud, weed, I love it oh Alvin so I remember seeing you at the haha that's where I Brent it looks like you somehow lit it like your daffy duck and there was just an explosion while you were smoking a cigarette first kid with Sinbad yeah and Zachary Ty Bryant who just got arrested for some sort of confrontation with his girl to which Tim Taylor when asked to comment on the matter said he didn't hear that's a long way to get there I wanted to set you up as if you were saying huh that's how he says huh that's what I was wanting to do not that it was great is that why he did it you know what Tim Taylor would say when he couldn't hear something huh yeah first kid it's what he's doing it's usually like because he's a man he's a caveman just like or confused I think that's why he started to do that yeah you think he he probably had it from his stand-up before the show I think he did yeah yeah isn't it so funny that became his like it's like and he ended up being the Santa Claus who was to ho ho ho the two biggest ones he did pay homage on the Santa Claus to home improvement didn't he I don't know I was just thinking ha ha ha and ha ha ha and ho ho ho and alright alright alright the bad guy in first kid is uh in jail right now for uh pedophilia who's that Jared Fogle so many people mm-hmm was Jared Fogle in the first kid no wait Jared Fogle Jared Fogle no you're thinking wait Jared Fogle the guy from that that 80s movie I remember being scared he's so funny there's no way he's no not Jared Fogle the subway guy oh oh well I'm thinking Fogle or Fogelman what's his name I don't think that's the bad guy you're thinking of Dan Fogelman from Balls of Fury yes dude he's so funny I saw him in the Spelling Bee on Broadway with Josh Gad that's where Josh started yeah I can't believe I saw both of them that's cool very funny he is so funny Gad or Fogelman both of them but I'm talking about Fogelman yeah that guy too yeah he does comic books and stuff now Timothy Bussfeld from Little Big League was he played the first baseman that uh the kid's mom he's not really helping his case with these uh resumes were you also in Little Big League in first kid you're on I did not pick roles to be around children he's with the uh roles off I don't think he's gonna be able to do any of the things that he's offered to me Hollywood's a tough place honey I shrunk the kids and let me look at that little boy yeah yeah and uh the pope what you only guessed it lets the blanket fall it's just it's almost violent it's like look at like what's happening here it's almost violent violet like when you sit down you know instead of sitting here and sliding back will you just sit back and slide forward it's how you lock your ass it's kind of like when you're parking on a hill it's kind of like when you're parking on a hill and you put your emergency brake on you want to turn the wheel toward the curb if you're going down away if you're going back I don't think so did you know that if I could sit like Alvin I would when you're going down a hill and you block and you and you you you turn your wheels to the um you turn toward it so if the car ends up going down it'll turn into the curve yes oh yeah but backwards it would you don't want to turn in the street you want to turn into the curb I've always been confused by it so I just left it straight neutral on see what happens it's one of the few things I remember oh oh Dana Carvey and I'm tired it was such a short movie my wife hates when I yawn why because here we go finally some gossip all right Adam what's been going on with you and Mandicakes well first of all every time I yawn she's like you gotta be kidding me I hate when my wife does that are you okay could that be the thumbnail picture of you please oh god I hurt myself doing that you're right no Adam Adam um Brent do you guys see somebody don't look now to your right like on the way to the kitchen do you see somebody holding a camera or am I really stoned I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know do you guys see somebody don't look now to your right like on the way to the kitchen do you see somebody holding a camera or am I really stoned okay I just looked right at him honestly I've been seeing a lot of people that aren't there recently so I've learned to just kind of mums the word but yes I do see this person when you checked your phone before I was waiting a little bit seeing if you were just being subtle but you probably forgot that was that game yeah no but she doesn't like that I yawn when I yawn I like I don't hold it in it's like yeah it's like it's it's cathartic to just like but she goes she did the other day she goes she goes Jesus Christ you start laughing I go what she goes here's my impression of you yawning and I'm like a little offensive but we laughed marriage is great it's gonna be alright you always keep saying that well I see a lot of people that aren't there but you're never home Abe you're never home I love the theater dude I'd watch that over the Spielberg I think a yawn and a sneeze is you gotta let out yeah dude it's you ever deal with somebody who holds in all their sneezes their eyes are gonna pop out there's some black guys that have big eyes that's the thing that they do you know what I'm talking about no I do not people that can like pop their eyes out well Jackson McQueen yeah he could do it there's another black guy on Instagram that can pop his eyes out I don't know if it's a black thing hey man there's a lot of black guys on Instagram okay yeah and we love all and we love them all so let's just Tetris our way out of this but you know what I'm talking about just these black guys who pop their eyes out of their head dude they got bigger eyes is that what you want me to say I'm just saying I've only seen two people do it and let me guess what color they were one of actually three and one of them was green Jim Carrey in the mask when he sees Cameron Diaz for the first time or should I say all of America when we saw Cameron Diaz for the first time yeah that was a that was a coming out party yeah it was my coming out party too I'll tell you that yeah coming out you're gonna be a great dad you're gonna be a great dad thank you or an awful dad depending on how the moms react to you saying that in front of the kids welcome back to I should have stopped at the first thought you're gonna be a great dad or you're gonna be an awful dad because of the you know what I'm saying though if you go like and my coming out point rude man calling a waiter over oh god my aunt Shirley used to do that excuse me excuse me excuse me is she Italian my name was Shirley I'm serious I don't know God this is the most movies in one category am I the only one seeing this funny dude we I don't know yeah Brent that's funny man I'm so red right now wait Brent take off your headphones and cover your ears no you can keep them on cover your ears well which one is it you keep you're listen Brent go like this and go hum to yourself and we'll take his microphone off for a second just hum to yourself okay I don't want you to hear don't stop making noises well I'm nervous keep mumming keep mumming what is it I'm trying to whisper something to him through these without you hearing it do this do this off mic but I want people to hear what it is what I just don't want you to listen will you just make noises no because I don't know what you're going to put out there okay fair okay shirt's too small face too red I wasn't going to insult you I'm sending up a game I'm so sorry I wasn't even thinking that was what you were talking about I'm sorry no I wasn't I'm not saying anything bad about you mad about you bad about you I know that was the follow up show then okay tell me why I love you like I do tell me why because he wasn't going to be funny something else is true I heard what you said he's not funny and now it's all the same this is how it works when you're mad about you if somebody just got to vote for you and you're trying to okay wasn't a bad show watch the pilot also that was good did you remember the song or did you just make that up that was good that's really good I remember the song because I just watched but I did not remember the lyrics that's like always the 90s sitcom guy you have a good voice you have a really good singing voice okay you really do be why am I not in a Pixar movie though yeah I know you should be like Timberlake Trolls like singing it at the front of the, the band just even like a just even like a little penguin your one opportunity where you go to an improv show and you you know in the audience and you've always wanted to make a suggestion you've gone to 30 shows they finally called on you for one and you go i don't remember enough yeah your eyes are getting no give us a role give us a give us a title of a job he's the um the guy in the guy's a really good singer he's he's he sings so well he could be at the front all right no you said yeah you said oh it's kind of like justin timberlake trolls because it's siggy's in the front of the band ziggy's and then you immediately go kevin kevin okay they go what else we got yeah they're horrible parents huh they left the characters in home alone twice second time how about this first time favorite home alone first or two first or two i only have one man poo or pee you not the one with the uh traffic kid no one would ever say it's anything other than one or two yeah you know what i mean which one home alone one or home alone two lost in new york what's the better film go one one yeah i love them both they're both the same movie two feels bigger two was like yes two was bigger there's that shot of him across the broken bridge i think and also the kid in the hotel versus the kid at home is just like if you want to talk fantasy stuff yeah ordering dessert and watching uh yeah yeah that's true let's talk about though of all the things you could have watched that's what he watched he's like let me watch a shoot him up film it's like kid you know you were two clicks away from skin and he likes shooting about films that's why he watched it the first one it's literally the same movie it's the same setup it is right uh left alone he's at his own place the hotel stuff is by himself is is being him home alone then you have the scary person that you don't know who it is the you know the the the guy with the shovel and then the bird lady and then you have bird lady who is also the mom in angels in the outfield right no yes she is oh she was you're right the foster parent the foster parent wow she's really um she's great pull that's what i said to the guy that's fucked her rob schneider was also uh in the hotel in part two he was so good in that with the gum yeah his face he makes tim curry so good daniel stern man unreal when he had the spider on his face and the first one i used to rewind it all the time he screamed yep the way he recognized the spider was on his face yeah daniel stern also in another baseball movie rookie of the year yeah rutabaga dude he was so funny in that he was so funny in that oof there's a joke i've said it on this podcast numerous times that there are certain times i remember learning a joke structure that almost always came from the simpsons and i remember this from from uh rookie of the year the uh daniel stern and the kid are walking up to these two beautiful models and daniel stern because he wants to say hello to him goes excuse me ladies excuse me because he wanted him out of the way and i remember thinking and i remember thinking how funny that is because his intention of the first one wasn't to get them to leave this is nerdy and maybe annoying but i just want i just remember seeing this because if he said excuse me ladies they would have thought he was going away so the fact that you could say the same thing in different ways yeah not only that they mean different things but that that could be like a joke and he told the line saying it just enough to where they could have taken as a flirtatious approach but he was no no the first one was what was without a doubt flirtatious but it was also still a little bit like excuse me but like in a nice way excuse me ladies like the way i remember it and is is that he was full on there was no doubt about it like if i were trying to hit on you two not there's no there's nothing behind you i want and i would be like nice hey so um tiffany excuse me ladies i need to go to claire's tonight oh yes hey big dick danny excuse me oh yeah ask me ask me about like the epstein files ready yeah so adam what do you think about the epstein files hey man we're all trying to figure out what's going on okay thank you so much guys you're welcome i gotta start i gotta start making some flyers i keep doing these shows for one guy just need a girl at a pizza place somebody called ryan reynolds oh no i'm sorry he's in the middle of a justin baldoni drama circle i brought my friend thanks for coming in adam turn that turn the mic on leslie nelson in down periscope two hot shots part do remember that when they remember that i one of my favorite movies of all time did you know that my dad yes did he you know after that oh well he told us a different story that was a weird thanksgiving by the way my dad was friends with bill and hot shot and bill and beer was in hot shots and my dad managed him for that movie or something wait what so my dad was my bill and beer's acting manager for this thing and my dad got like 10 of it or something cool and and bill and beer was in hot shots i want to ask him i want to call him bill and beer you're gonna call right now no i'm gonna call my dad oh i was not ready for that did you know that bill and beer and his dad were friends no true i read his book as a child called like lamb beer he was in the fire hey dad lamb beer me i'm on i'm on the i'm on the pod with adam and brent and mccall is here and and and will you quickly tell the story of you managing bill and beer and hot shots part do but quick i got a hard out not too quick i'll get a hard on and not too slow i'll get a hard i mean i don't know how far back to go don't take too long adam's got a hard out yo bill and beer do you want the story or not yes yes so bill lived in our development when he got traded here we became friends and uh he was a popular item and i said let me represent you and he said yeah you can't negotiate my contract but you find anything for me go ahead so i put out some feelers i never had done this before and uh somebody came back to me and they were filming the hot shots part do which was a big you know funny thing and they wanted bill to do a uh a fight scene with charles barkley in a bar and i negotiated the deal i went to the filming with him and charles barkley in detroit and we did a bar and uh it was a riot i made a couple thousand dollars dad yeah could you hear us yes i can hear you absolutely amazing this is that's really fantastic and not a lot of people would take their shot no pun intended with somebody of that stature and say can i rep you and for him to go you know what not for the stuff that matters but for the other stuff yeah he was that kind of guy you know i negotiated nintendo game for him too remember that right bill and beers combat basketball for super nintendo and beer combat basketball that was a good game where they were all bill and beers yes that was like arch rivals beat each other up wait how much did you get for that oh i think four thousand dollars i think i made like eight to ten thousand dollars on the whole time i repped him but it was a lot of fun it wasn't the money it was being involved going to i went to the players association meetings and that was a lot of fun you repped a bad boy and it wasn't martin lawrence or will smith tell tell wasn't rick in the locker room tell him about uh when chuck daly kicked every all the press out during that was during the playoffs they would they would practice at oakland university in a small college outside of detroit yep and there was tons of press there and i came up and and there was a big long practice and all the press was asking questions and at the end of practice chuck daly looks up because all right everybody out of this gym closed doors meeting everybody out except glassman he could stay how fucking cool is that coach you know you know what else at that practice you know at the end how everybody has to shoot foul shots at the end to go in they always have to make 10 foul shots in a row and then they go so i was in that line i got to do it with them cool that's awesome so cool it was a lot of fun it was a lot of fun to write a book yeah i don't think so but telling you guys was was worth it well i can't wait to come see well congratulations to you adam you're blowing up brent congratulations to you because you already blew up and i can't wait to see you guys at my new house we can't wait when uh all right uh how close is the casino all right all right bye bye how close is the casino there's a few of them it's you know i've always wanted to try how cool is that that's that story that's that was worth the price of admission i remember uh i used to call rick mahorn the guy with the big boobies because i didn't know who they were but i remember how you picked you i remember him holding me like this isn't that crazy i remember being in the locker room when when they had a piston um pistons uh fanny packs i remember they had those and and i asked if i could have one and uh and dennis ronman said yes isn't that crazy no but you guys are a calves family so we're because we're from cleveland my dad just let bill was drafted for the calves he never played for the calves but he was drafted by the calves that's how you and they practiced something in cleveland could you fix the thing behind you a little bit i'm all right did he have and that's is that what you were commenting yeah adam will you what am i doing just the couch blanket would you stand up and do what i did with brent yeah welcome to the club man gotta get your ass right is that yeah oh shit this was my fault too oh this helps am i still centered up i scooted over a little bit that one he might be his shoulder might be off a little bit i think we'll be okay with it i'm okay with a little shoulder off shoulders on nice like my rabbi sometimes people people girls will show a little shoulder to be sexier head and shoulders you know like when they're wearing a sweater but like it's off their shoulder a little oh yeah you know what i'm talking about 100 the light crease under the armpit so also sometimes they have their sleeves are a little long and their fingers can't go through but there's a there's a hole and her thumb comes out of it yeah but you don't know she's pretty because she has ponytail and braces and glasses and acne okay that's a little senator senator you're talking about a child a child oh you know in movies when they're they're ugly because they have ponytail and glasses and something and then they let it down oh that's what you bet yeah then i was just adding other things we're ready here pretend you're taking your glasses off and shaking your ponytail out i'll give you i pretend i'll give you the magic the music oh you have to be i have to be ugly first and then i'll be pretty okay talk to me ugly for a little first okay be the be the guy that's that that she's had a crush on you're making me think that i'm then maybe i could be pretty but you haven't seen me like take your glasses off let me put your hair down okay but right now i just think you're just being nice because you need help learning your spanish because i'm tutoring you hey kevin you want to come uh throw the ball around and look at tits later you should go kevin um i've got to go back to study no no hang on a second yeah or hang out with the bitch later hey wait up fellas i'm not gay i'm so sorry about i'm sorry kevin you don't have to talk i really appreciate he's a he's a dick his father's a drunk can i say something to you and that's why he is that way what what do you want to say no it's okay hey kevin i think you're really nice and i know that you've had a nice time with me tutoring you see and i'm so proud wait until he takes my glasses off to see if i'm pretty wait but your grades have been doing well and you really i know you're being nice you don't have to keep talking to me instead of hanging out with your friends really i get it i'm ugly hey hey okay this is good this is very good yes i need to go to the theater but are you just saying that it's like that's like poor cake what you're you wanted to get in the director please let me say this please please please please it reminded me of when i was on the bench in high school and i wanted to get in the game so i would just cheer a little extra louder so the coach would see that i was ready you to where you're almost sitting next to him on the bench going put rick in these guys we're killing it right now but let me just tell you i'm not just saying he's gonna do it he's gonna do it let us get can i just what i want you to be able to see yourself instead of looking in your eyes because kiss me out of the bearded body across the green green grass suck me do you mind if i take your sweater off do you mind if i take your sweater off silver moon sparkling muy bueno very good so kiss me deletion you never home abe you never home you're never home abe wait the movie's got tits oh i'm crying i'm crying wasn't that crying wasn't there's no crying in baseball this isn't baseball tom go make another toy jimmy huh jimmy dugan oh yeah it's you just call him tom group tell me that wouldn't be the greatest insult at a party if you got in a fight with tom hanks this is awesome you know what dude why don't you go make another toy brand brand brand brand brand he's fine man he's fine hey dude loved in philly philadelphia you know what i mean not the cream cheese the movie we gotta go fucking asshole you should have died on that beach with woody brand brand brand brand brand brand brand brand brand it's wilson it's wilson it's wilson it's what he is he's seen the movie he loves the movie he's a big fan he's a big fan oh i love tom hanks same you know it's scary that they're turning into a show now what burbs no i saw that billboard is that from that movie is it no i think you're talking about my camera guy when he's not having a good time i'd watch bill's board i might have a conversation with him my man sometimes you talk to people and you can tell that they're not interested in what you have to say yeah and uh bill is somebody who i think because he's just he's been doing this for so long and he's friends with so many people and like he's worked with a lot of people i just cosby lawrence or o'reilly bill lawrence for how successful he is for some reason can't get it up i feel like i don't know that's none of my business bill i take it back and i feel like you've i feel like you've never had a problem he's like he's very nice in all of your shows i know he is there enough i'm saying this in a way to where like sometimes i think bill is like being so nice but i could tell bill's bored oh i just remember with the sixth lead the thing i did was inspired by me doing something and bill just like looking like oh this guy does not think i'm funny and then i would ask him a question about something he goes rick i think you're fantastic i was like it's okay if you don't think i'm funny i just want to have a meeting with you yeah and that was the lead how come that never turned into like something we went out with it and then uh something they i don't remember right i don't remember yeah cut to rick beating the shit out of a woman okay i guess dude bill lawrence for whatever reason is instrumental like a lot of things in my life i'm i've realized like bill not only the first job but also the inciting incident to me about my autism diagnosis he's the one who told you he's the one who it's he's the one who say it he's the one who kind of brought some awareness to me yeah uh the the i am phenomenal video i'm now plugging my stuff sincerely though i made this video i am phenomenal where joel mckayle plays bill lawrence oh it's one of joel's best parts his script is the email that bill sent me when you're on the text chain taunting people like i'm gonna butt fuck you tonight when you say shit like that i'm joking i'm not gonna but i've i've never butt fucked ever have you yeah yeah it's great i've done it a lot it is i love joel on that joel no he's really good in that he's very empathetic it's a script that you sent to bill the script in that i am phenomenal video was taken from the email that bill sent to me that like really changed so much for me it got me there's some other patterns in my life that i didn't associate with each other you might be autistic no he didn't mention autism no um he just mentioned all the things that he seemed to think maybe weren't intuitive for me and some of the things i wasn't noticing maybe you maybe you don't give a shit you could tell us to fuck off but uh there's a couple guys in the game that don't like playing when you're here and uh i just thought that's something that uh maybe you you didn't know and you could choose what you want to do with it i think you just don't come back for a couple weeks make your decision if you want to come back you're more than welcome we i would love you to i just want to give it a couple weeks for them to cool off about it and you decide how you like basically something like that and and i remember like some of the things he said that i'm like yeah that makes sense and some of the things he said i completely disagreed with yeah and the feeling i had from it was whether or not i agree or disagree i had no idea that these people felt this way yeah and that like as soon as i was like i also just got kicked out of a poker game three weeks earlier whoa from a group of guys and i'm like i'm i'm blacklisted from the groundlings i got kicked out of school i had to go to a special school like i get kicked out of stuff it's all adding up um yeah really it really like wait a minute and then i just remembered some stuff but some other stuff i don't want to get too much into because that really wasn't my intention but like bill gave me my first job bill also like the timing in my life when i was able to receive that as well because i got kicked out of a poker game maybe i could have figured it out then but bill told me how well in my defense you kept eating all the cookies tracy morgan did you ever see the video of um buster rhymes being pissed off when a guy thought he was tracy morgan yes oh wow no i've never seen yeah i don't think we can put the audio but put the video up and picture pictures of people just see buster rhymes be like What did you just call me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that the beginning of his weight loss? I don't know. Because he looks great now. Tracy? No, Busta. Busta. I look them up sometimes just to see how they're looking. That's okay. It's good and it's also a bummer that those guys got so frustrated because that's one of the fun things about playing basketball with you. Yeah, there might be times where you can get on somebody's nerves, but if you're playing pickup basketball with the right amount of passion, everyone should get on everyone's nerves. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Because you're like, you give a fuck enough. But also, thankfully, I feel like I knew you pretty well at that point to not take it personally and to make jokes. If something did with any of us get on each other's skin, we'd make jokes about it or we just knew even if it was real and you let it actually perturb you. Like an example. Be right out, boys. Now I feel good. And that's when my dad left. Oh, I swiped to the wrong thing, I think. Yeah. Just get me out of here. Cut him. And so that's why I feel good about being on the court with you because I know what to expect. Once the game's over, it's over. I also found out after the fact it was two guys. It was two guys and those guys sucked. Look, did I yell at him? A wheelchair ref? Sorry. A little defensive. We got, yeah. I mean, I think Rick turned the lights off on the whole place. Yeah. I don't remember. Didn't you do that? No. Didn't somebody do that? Didn't you turn the lights out because they stopped the game? I would never. I would never do that. Not a fucking chance. You guys also. We got kicked out of the league. But I remember there was a game. You must have shot nine threes in a row and you finally was like, you just yelled at Rick. But we were all laughing. But you guys might have had a little thing, but it was also like amusing. And then I remember, I remember, I remember just looking over at the bench and seeing you guys like laughing right after. I had the best time. But then also I'd see a time where you were just like, if I'm open, I'm going to shoot it. If I'm open, I'm going to shoot it. I wanted him to go downhill because you can't stop him downhill. And he kept shooting these. That's exactly, that's exactly what the fight was. You were like, no one could stop. Dude, you, unless it was Hackershack, you just had a way of just like Clevelanding your elbows. It's like you're missing the point. It's right there. You can get everybody out of the way and be great. But instead you want to do this. I'm getting focused. I'm getting buckets. No, you weren't. Yes, I was. This is my impression of you. Ball, ball, ball, ball, ball. Off, off, off. Oh yeah. Rick, by the way, so it's such an easy tell. If he, if he stood at the top of the key and he went down a little bit, you know, he's going right back up. Are you guys, you guys, hey, Peter Predictable. Nice to meet you. Thank you. And finally I have somebody on my side. I mean, do you guys not know about the triple threat? Yeah, dude. Ready to pass, ready to shoot, ready to dribble. That's why I'm bringing the ball down. It was so, it was such a tell though. No, it was such a tell, dude. Tell it to all the trophies I won. All right. Police tell. Most underrated. Michael Jordan. Hi. Did you just put the seat down? Yeah, he pees in the seat. Prove it. So, I'm becoming a big prove-it guy lately. Same. Because of AI. Yep. Anything somebody says, prove it. Did you know that? I go, what's the best sandwich here at Cheesecake Factory? He goes, chicken club. I go, prove it. Show me a chicken club. So, then he gets to eat the chicken club? No, he's like, what do you want me to bring it out? If you order it, I'll bring it out. I go, prove it. And he goes, what do you want, man? I go, no. So, say it again. Prepare. Prepare. And he goes, mugger A&W. And I go, where am I? Where am I? Fucking gas station? And then he says, I'd like a little bit of bread. Would you like a little bit of bread to him? And he goes, only if you don't get the mist on it. Where am I? The Rainforest Cafe? Yeah, but can I do one? Yep. Say, would you like any bread? And then he, oh, okay. Would you like any bread, sir? Prove it. I'm sorry? The bread, prove it. Make sure it proves. Do you kiss your mother with that cough? My mother's been dead for 55 years. Look behind you. Dad? Is that your dad, really? Yeah. Funny. I will get the chicken club. Right away. I've always wanted to wait on the receiving end just to see how much he hates what's happening. Right away. Right away. That's fucking the most common. That's the same bathroom Paul Rudd jerked off. You know he's spitting in your soup. Huh? What? That's the same bathroom Paul Rudd jerked off in. Paul Rudd whacked it in your bathroom. Yeah. Dude, why don't we just call it? No, I'm okay. I might have to pee, though. Yeah, go ahead. I got to fill this up. Also, yeah. Paul, are you coming? He's in. He's in. He's in. He's in. He's in. By the way, to the Paul Rudd episodes. I felt so bad. Why? Did you not see it? What the shit? I don't watch anything my friends do. Oh, you just saw the thumbnails. Yeah, they went bad. Hilarious. I watched all of it. In fact. You know I watched all of it. So, I was just thinking of a fun game and I forgot what it is and I want to see if I could remember something I really wanted to do with you guys. Oh, right. I wanted to tell you about a fun game. Sometimes when I'm with a group of people, a group of friends, I will go to the server separately with my credit card and a hundred dollar cash. Yes. I say this is not tip for the meal. This is to ask if you would be willing to. You don't have to. But if you would be willing to be very, very rude to everybody at my table. We'll say we're joking at the end. Great. Except for me. Great. And then they go, I don't know, sir. And then I say, see that hundred dollars that I have there? Go like this to it. And he feels that it's actually 200. It was folded. And as he notices, I go, double it. And he goes, and he says, he sees it's 200. And I say, you can keep it either way. You don't have to do anything. But even if it's just one little aside. So I'm at Hooters with a couple of my guy friends. Prove it. Damn it. And the waitress, her name was, she said her name was Summer. Bitch. Why? I just don't believe her name is Summer. We think Hooters waitresses are lying now? I think people lie. About the menu or their identities? I think about it. I don't think they're born. I think she'd go. I think it's a nickname. Like Ludacris's real name is really. Chris Lloyd Webber. Yeah. Something like that. Something like that. Right. It's Christopher something, right? Wait, here's Christopher Lloyd Webber. Chris Bridges. Chris. Wait, here's Christopher. Ready? Hey, we got to get behind the arc for the three. I was going to, I was going to see you up for that. Wait, Mike, maybe call a timeout. Christopher Lloyd Webber. Yeah. In, in. Christopher Lloyd Webber in Sacramento. There's a good movie with, there's a good movie. I forgot who the actors are, but it's called Sacramento. We could put up a poster. I like movies that are just the name of the city, by the way. Garden State. Four minutes of card left. Yeah. Let me get the other card. Adam Devine used to make me laugh so hard though, because he would come down, grab the ball and go. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh my God. That's so funny. Adam would grab the, yeah. Oh, and I remember me and Rick were both like, Lamorne was on our team. I remember me and Morris. Lamorne Morris was on the team. That's right. Emmy winner. No, but. So crazy. He would go to shoot with me and Rick, even though we were arguing with each other. We would go, Lamorne, Lamorne, Lamorne, you have a career. You have a career. Cause he was trying to take over, but he can't, he couldn't do it. That's the thing about that league too. You still have a career, man. You still have a career. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You still can do it. No offense. He's not terrible, but it was just funny. Wasn't it him and Adam Devine, we used to go, you still got a career. You still got a career. Oh, those were the days. Those were the days. Whenever yonder soars the mountaintops, I find myself in situations not to stop my own. Those were the days. Better understand the sentiment, for I could know what relevant of if I ever tendiment, because I have had some bad breath and I think I might need a minute. Those were the days. For if I understand, understand the ocean floor, I will find other species of the great divide. If I believe in the Lord divine, we will take it all for you and you and take it all for you and you and it'll all be yours and yours and it'll all be his and hers and it'll all be mine. Think about it every day. I go around the ocean looking in the bottom of the six. Be ellidocious. Oh, that's from the Little Mermaid. The black one. The Little Mermaid. I don't recognize the white ones the white ones oh no no we don't see the way the new little mermaid is superior to the first one and that is not even and she can jump higher out of the water than in the cartoon athletic how's bad monkey going oh one more day go to florida wow dude do that yeah dude i love how much you've been shooting that bro it's this season is fucking insane so cool so you must have been like five episodes nine try nine holy shit dude that is all i'm gonna it's supposed to be an eight i bumped it to nine do i live do i die what are you gonna do the extra money or do you not like allocated that way bought a bike motorcycle ducati bro what's going on i'm gonna show adam this man nobody remembers the games i don't remember the games anymore the was also the one where like we're like oh brent is oh again you're gonna be a great dad you guys want to play part cheesy no dad we've got our nintendo switches nobody remembers games anymore uno jumanji go fish go fuck yourself now is what it is oh look at that oh man you're still making those crackers and cheese hey brent you want to yeah this is a post what are you doing i was trying to find a video of oh we couldn't show that on here i know that's why hey man and what can we show on because every fucking time i come on this podcast we can't show this we can't do that close the door he says put on some socks pee with you pee through the penis hole in your pants don't take them all the way down like we did in the old days yeah i can't go can't put them down to your ankles anymore who's the kid that put the pants down to the ankles in your school on the count three everybody say their name one mine i don't want to say it i don't want to say it i'll say mine yeah actually bleep the last name i'm not gonna say mine you bleep that i remember chad khan used to do it to be funny too we should have done last names we just say it's not funny enough and people would have known hey we remember i used to do that as a joke in high school i used to go in like hey guys and pull it all the way down that's what that's what the chad khan who mine was i don't think we need to bleep it shout it out i would do that at the movie theater funny kid ass out chad was a funny cool kid that started dating in third grade oh that kid had a fourth grade i had a fourth grade i had a fourth grade i had a fourth grade version of that was he gay no no you know and another guy and mark you have to ask his name i don't know why you would care but i haven't seen him in so long zach kotler that sounds good looking still is yeah uh i remember him prince jr him and yes yes perfect really you said he looks like freddie prince jr i don't know oh god but perfect like the what freddie prince jr is selling is what zach kotler is selling gotcha as far as just like looks all american scotty pippen cologne out of the back of their hyundai tucson maybe maybe that's how freddie maybe that's how i got going everybody thinks it was uh sitcoms and scream and or i know what you did last summer by the way what were they doing murdering i wouldn't call that murder hey no it was actually involuntary manslaughter but that wasn't even that you have to see the movie i don't want to spoil it they should have gone right to the cops anyway i saw him recently but i remember he and the two of them were dating i remember the names too i think we don't really know them anymore kotler and um zach kotler uh and chad khan were dating uh i had such a crush on her in third grade i remember i had i had um we'll keep it in uh pneumonia and i was out of school for a week and the teachers uh they all signed a card and like for me and they wrote stuff the teacher just passed it around just sent a under uh um um said uh we miss you like come back soon or something and for years years i would go back and look at we miss you does she thought like maybe she missed me maybe she like wow man that was my first big crush and was just hot she's still she's still i don't know her but these girls were hot all through school and then i remember after school and uh like during college when i started being like i would be like i would hang out with these kids more so like senior high school in college i didn't really hang out with anybody before that so like because you got jacked uh that's probably why honestly and he was jacked man i had such i had such a big crush on her dude crushes remember that time yeah oh huge crush during uh bar mitzvah days and i remember i remember and watching him dance and dude i was so scared to ask girls to slow dance oh my god wait i'll do it ready ready frankie muniz in bar mitzvah days you be the girl and you ask me to dance hey um do you want to dance with me she's not a worker i would shut up dad as that communities goes why'd they pick that clip oh whatever his name is frankie yeah by the way and then somebody goes you're on camera you don't camera goes i don't give a fuck and they cast that and then and on instagram next day everyone's like so last night at the golden globes frankie muniz was caught on camera lip syncing and you can clearly see someone's telling him that he's on camera and he clearly says and i quote as you can see verbatim he says you know they always like hype it up so it's like this video is so crazy they got this as you can see he says i don't give a and the headline it's it was a picture of the wide we could see it and he's on the on the aisle you see it all happening here and you see him on the aisle and it's circled him and the headline is malcolm's not in the middle anymore rick nice he's on edge i think he's ready and he's on the aisle you see him on the aisle and he's on the aisle he's on the aisle and he's on the aisle you see him on the aisle and he's on the aisle and he's on the aisle and he's on the aisle a couple months ago and we went around to everyone and this one place it was i guess halloween weekend and it was friday so the people i'm pitching to high ups at this company one of them this was halloween then because halloween was on a friday last year it was yeah oh yeah i guess it was but there was like a costume contest situation and we just this is like our last pitch we've been pitching all week and she was dressed like a ghost oh and so i'm going yeah and then the character um are you a fucking ghost that i had to say it because we were so distracted by their because they all had costumes so i go this is like a bad episode of a fucking hbo show about hollywood i was like everybody in the room had a costume sorry i'm late go ahead yeah literally it's funny because i was actually picturing frankenstein and then i just had to call it call it out because it's comics we call out the shit that's what we do and then i go i just went are you a fucking ghost she was like yes i go well you're close you're close to the anyway uh it was a kkk joke i had in my head but i was like uh-oh that's that that was what matthew mcconaughey used to say but people thought he was talking about the ku klux klan so instead of saying okay okay okay you change it to all right all right all right all right all right all right that's not that's not matthew mcconaughey that's not that's not matthew mcconaughey that's not matthew mcconaughey this is great i dug the hole and then he slipped in it yeah it's three feet deep and six feet down thank god you're in here you sound like you sound like the billionaire submarine guy when he's trying to give coordinates i don't know that joke was in my head but i didn't thank you somebody gets it yeah i watched the duck one of them was marty planetarium i wanted to be in back to the future the musical and play doc brown i saw it on broadway you too you did it was unbelievable the way they used the car it was really the car was the star i mean they were out there were all the car the car was a star guy who's pitching cars yeah movie oh i thought you meant throwing it like but he's bashful about it it's like ford trying to get in as a product placement like and the car is in the movie or not you know but there's the car they have to pitch that right like the guy who's like the head of pepsi has to be like look i think if you're gonna do saving private ryan and and you can i think they have to be drinking something other than water and i know that pepsi wasn't around then but it kind of was and if we just put one bottle in tom hanks's hand he does his whole he does what tom does he's so good at drinking stuff i don't know if you've seen toy story but did you see that part well what are you sucking all right it was good to see you guys pitch guy from pepsi from the future it constantly gives it away so in saving private ryan not like toy story which was years is a movie he might do in the future you guys gotta stop trump oh hey hey this guy all right all right what's up now fun man i have a headache this is awesome an hour and a half already went by this is awesome yeah this feels so great this episode this could have been a four-hour episode best bit ever at an award show button it up tim conway when he would do the carol burnett show yes and and they would just say his name like in the nominations tim conway and then he just would get up and run to the stage right yeah yeah yeah yeah i see that that shit was so funny that is really especially when he lost doesn't it right didn't he stay up there yeah his friend won yeah from the show as well yeah is it bad right because his friend from the same show is nominated and he yes anded him and he was like oh i guess we're both going up if he's going up i'm going up so what were you gonna say that's so i i i love uh that i that you made me remember that because i haven't thought about that in a while all right you could stay i told adam to say something nice to you i feel like you're funny is it sad is it sad that i just want to get i want to be nominated for something just so i can do a bit i thought i think about like award nominations like that type of shit no but not for the not for the reason to do the bit to do the course to do a bit that's like whether it's tripping like i remember i went to a pie the jewish fraternity that was in college there was there was you know what bleep pie and then cut to jason biggs my man seven half two it's up to you you should have mine he's got a lot of stories he's a great podcast if he's in town i'll get him on for you anyway you guys would have a great time he's friends with sullivan too yeah that's right yeah david sullivan he's acting he's acting coach actually there's a great uh there's a great uh and his wife i hear is great my wife never met him but sasha baron cohen i would be very interested in asking him lots of very specific questions look at this look at this oh never mind i met him that was the kid on sasha b super tall and super cool he's nothing like his characters he is committed so what i want to say was i want to do bits at the award shows like yeah like um like you know like uh yeah like tripping oh the ape high thing they go hey accept the award for us it was all you know it was just like it was a nice like ballroom at a hotel you know we were out there fucking around you know drinking you know and uh awesome but it was awesome it was fun but there was an award thing that we had to go to early in the morning and they were like and everybody was like hey ray they called me hey ray they go accept the award so in my head i go okay cool they just like make it funny they just were like and i just was like yeah you're like you not even for the sake of like i'm getting reps of doing bits just want to make my buddies laugh and they wanted me like not probably in the way that like i was for them because there was no there was one other guy in the school theater but everybody else was like i was the only comedy guy really so it was like in the big fraternity so it it was just like i was you know and people got were enough on board by sensibility can i borrow 50 grand please borrow 50 grand adams two feet tall right now i my hands are numb if i'm being honest i get what you mean but it feels good i tripped so i walked up to get the award and i did just a class all i could think of was i was like here we go they're like do something funny and i just fucking panicked and i go but i go i'll eat shit but i'll eat shit really hard i tripped going up the stage and then grabbed the award and like did a really cartoony spin and fell off the stage and a lot of like it was so it started off very realistic when i tripped and the people were like oh geez oh geez and then when i grabbed it and go yeah yeah yeah i just spit i fell off and then it was like only met with laughter from the people who got it nice you know and the people who were on stage were like oh god you know i want to do a bit and i've had this since high school use that one why well that's i like that falling down guy i want to do say i'm nominated for a great comedy follower by the way you're the best i can't do it anymore yeah you can i want to find it i tried to find it before i want if i can find it i want to put up here when you fell into the tv yeah oh yeah that was there was one night where no in his living room where brett and i were just dancing and brett like i don't know if he was faking it or not i don't know if he was faking it or not i don't know if he was faking it at first and then really fell but he went back and he caught himself on the tv and you just see the tv break and he goes he goes yeah i was trying to fall accidentally into the tv but not trying to break it and then i was like ah shit oh and there's another one and then that's the same place the place because this is back i know you know this but i'm telling our audience um brent and i and our friends john and allison we lived all in the same building and we would just go to each other's places prove it and it was like sign fell i mean if we could find the video yeah um and there was one where during vine days and then instagram videos that's the sketch stuff so like sometimes i we would just film stuff sometimes he would have an idea sometimes i would have an idea i would say hey brent just do this i don't know what we're gonna do but i'll just say some things and and do this and fall you gotta do but this and you gotta fall a little and brent does it and uh it was loud but like oh that's how loud it was it was really funny yeah so i'm like let's make it loud or something like that i don't remember but you did another take and he trips and he pulled out all of his plates i mean broken glass on the ground and falls and falls and it faced out uh i think i don't remember if it was that video but i think sullivan was there and sullivan was worried for you yeah so and he was gonna go and i remember i was i think you can even hear me like it's fine like brent is he's fine he's doing this yeah and i just went in and i went in and then we had to stop for david and then you picked up you were fine and you were bleeding yeah and i'm like because i remember that video it was there was a there was a jump cut because we needed to stop for david to check yeah he i mean i'm so excited about this i would have loved i want to just find it it's such a good it's such a crazy comedy fall didn't we do a uh like behind the scenes of that after where i'm picking up the bloody plates and i go well you gotta commit to yeah yeah to the fall did you were you a good um like prank pratfaller as a kid like how did you just yeah i was born with a big head i was i fell out of a high chair as a kid no way my head was like this size like stevie griffin and made it out probably well i had to he was a baby i was a baby yeah but no that's why he's a comedian now i jumped out of my own car when i was driving once because i thought that would be funny no you didn't i did yeah i had how fast was it going uh well that's the funny part is i was on old main street in south windsor connecticut this buddy of mine fucked with me earlier i'm driving and i got this stick shift mazda and i think you don't be really funny as if i follow the car but if i jump out of the car because it's just a residential street it's not like i'm on a highway yes and i was like well i gotta go slow enough but not too slow that they wonder what i'm doing yep so i was going 40 and i got down to 25 but if i started at zero i would realize 25 was too it's too fast yeah so wow and i told myself you put that right i've got to jump straight and then to the grass and the adrenaline's going because ideally in my head the cartoon version is what do you think brent and they look over and i'm gone but you're gonna notice when somebody jumps out of their own car yes there's no cool way to do it stupid i was it's 5 p.m by the way it's not like we're out partying and stuff it's like sunset and they're arguing two of my buddies are arguing and i was like just about what they were just arguing bullshit and then i'm just kind of looking at them and i'm just nobody's on the road and i'm going i'm gonna jump out of my jump out of my car so i uh what i didn't know is that one car doors don't open at 90 degrees they open about 45 so you have to jump further to hit the grass two when your adrenaline's pumping it was like 10 degrees don't come a knocking and then three i jumped out of the car but i jumped straight up no and backwards and i remember like jesus and i went uh-oh immediately hit the ground cut my head cut my arm and then all my friends kept going in the car yeah and it went on the somebody's lawn because they were fighting over the steering wheel because they were still at an argument this is a crazy story and then i said hey got you back for no reason my buddy goes for what that thing you did last year yeah yeah yeah yeah but in retrospect they're like friend revenge saying that is friend revenge friend if it was funny you guys to me more in friend revenge no i'm cheating you guys oh oh here's a bit i have i want to i want to win an award like say god bless i get nominated for a golden globe or something be awesome and the winner is brent moran and then i'm way in the back and i can't get through the tables and i get in a slight argument and you just have the music continuing to play and it takes me forever to get up there that they go to the next category that's fucking and then i'm just up there no one's ever done that no one's ever the whole room's pissed who finds it funny though no wait you can't just take me you can't just walk slow though you have to walk slow and then you also have to take a little speed you have to take the wrong way to scoot by somebody's table you have to go around and you forget something movie theater you forget you go back right you go back to your table you get like your phone yeah then you get your speech you go i forgot the speech yes that's funny and then maybe you go all the way outside and they follow you with a camera to your car if you can get them to commit to that like letterman style the way he used to do it yeah just gotta ask yeah i remember so there's al pacino's out there and you go and he goes what are you doing out here and you go i forgot my speech and he goes in the car and he goes sandler's there too yeah and you go he's playing both jack and joe and then he goes uh and then he goes you go i can't talk about this right now al everyone's like he got pacino to do his bit nice but also there's rumors that like it was all set up but pacino was really just out there he that wasn't like oh and that part was real Kind of like I'm walking here. So we found a clip of Al Pacino, TMZ, outside the Golden Globes, smoking a blunt. And everyone's saying it was a part of Brent Morin's bit, but we literally just found out that he was just out there and moments prior, he told Kevin Costner, let's get the fuck out of here. And I quote, let's get the F out of here. And he was outside smoking a blunt and then Brent Morin walked by, coincidentally, and that's the Golden Globe bit. Fuck, I don't know. This week on TMZ. Boom, boom, boom. Somebody's gone. You know the guy who's strong? Yeah, yeah. I like it. Hey, Harvey, Harvey, wait, wait, wait. Wait, go back. Hey, Harvey. Hey, Harvey. So we got William Shatner taking a shit at an Arby's. Oh, it sounds like William Shatner has no space or time. Yeah. Oh, just like you, Harvey. All right. Oh, you know, Kim Kardashian's got a huge ass. Yeah. And we saw it at Jamba Juice. Oh, she got the peanut butter mood. Next week on TMZ. We've got, we've got, we've got Doug Brown, Chris Webber. Sorry, did you say Doug Brown, Chris Webber? Doug Brown, Chris Webber. I don't, that's, um, Hans Zimmer, Cool Runnings. Jurassic Park 3. It's a crime show. Oh, MASH. Law and Order. Law and Order. We'll be right back. I'm done with something. He wants to put people, if he's, like, if he's finished with his water, the way he, the only way he knows how to communicate is to say, done, done. Why don't you listen to me? I'm your daughter. Done, done. I haven't seen you in nine years. Done, done. Done, done. Done, done. Is this the same guy who was at every Laker game? Done, done. Make love to me. Done, done. Done. Done. Done, done. Do you want the, do you want the Don Julio or do you want the Don Perrion? Done, done. So, both? He's getting into a real big con, man. Done. Done, done. Done, done. Done, done. Oh. Now give us Jack coming out of the character. They call cut, ready? Cut. Cut. I apologize for not getting hard for you. I guess you could say Jack's off. Don't steal my line. That's my manager, Richard Glassman. He's one of the good Jews. Used to rep Bill Lambeer. Anyway, what's your name, doll? Stacy. Well, Stacy, I think it's time for us to be. A done, a done. It's going to be the scariest bike ride home. Diane Weiss finally won for the scariest bike ride home. Thank you for the award. Whoa, more. I'm so happy to be here. My eyes are closed. But I can see. I can see you now. You believe in me. Oh, this is just great. Vote for anyone but Trump. We're America, you know. Getting a little Jennifer Coolidge there. The 87th Academy Awards will be right back. And to my kids. In a second. And all the other kids. To my mayor of Kingstown family. This is Diane Weiss' first and second win in a row ever. Jeremy, rather you're a blessing. I'm happy you got back in the snow. Oh, and to Woody Allen. Why? This is the new sweep at it for people that just don't want to run in front of everyone. Oh, wow. I didn't know I had a Diane Weiss. I didn't either. I didn't either. That was really good. Thank you. Thank you. God bless America. I've been watching House of Cards. Show's good. Where's Alvin? He's with Kevin Spacey. Great question. Oh, I want to try it. I'm calling him back one more time. I'm on a time crunch. Unfortunately. You could leave. Okay. Might have to. We could end it. I don't want to. But you don't have to end it. As well. I just want to see if Kevin answers. If it's Costner, I'm going to fucking lose it. Oh, man. I'm going to say every favorite line of mine from Tin Cup and Field of Dreams. Hi, it's Kevin. Please leave a message. Thank you. It was Kevin Costner. Wow. God, he sounds so weird on that. Draft Day, he was good. Love Draft Day. Great movie. Underrated. Great editing. Wait, what's the number one pick? Oh, man. I just watched that the other day on the plane. Bo Callaghan. Yeah. We're not taking Bo Callaghan. Why don't you go look at that? Why don't you look at that video again? Shut up, Jennifer Garner. We're trading the pick. Cut. Kevin. No. So good. Call her a character name. See what happens. All right. Well, you have a theater tour. Yes. AdamRayComedy.com. The Who Is Me theater tour. We're going everywhere. Coming up. I don't know when this comes out. 2020. This will come out probably the second week in February. Perfect. Man, Detroit, February 13th. Good week. Minneapolis, February 14th. That'd be third week. Then we got. Okay. You guys were great. Detroit, Minneapolis, you guys were great. Dude, we got Charlotte. No, we got Cary, North Carolina, March 11th and 12th. No way. Raleigh, March 13th. South Carolina, Charleston, March 14th. Vegas, the win at the Encore Theater, March 20th. Great Chinese restaurant there, 88 or something. And then we've got Columbia. Columbus on the 27th of March. Cleveland on the 28th. LeBron. And Pittsburgh on the 29th. And then we've got Australia in June. And then Canada. And we've got. And more coming to AdamRayComedy.com. YouTube.com slash AdamRayComedy for all the Dr. Phils. And a special announcement coming soon. Is it out? Will it be out by now? That special announcement? If it's the third week of February? You know, I don't know. But very soon. Maybe. Because if it's around that time, maybe we could have dropped the exclusive on the first day. That'd be awesome. If we bleep it, will you tell us so we could respond to it? I. You made it up, didn't you? Yep. Oh, the Netflix thing? I've partnered. Yes. Yeah. Hey. You partnered with Netflix? For a documentary about my. Family. Really? That's not true. It's about. And you talked about this on Tiger Belly. I saw a clip. I made it up. I made it up for the likes and the clicks. And. That's a good move. That's big of you. And the fucks and the dicks. That's big of you. The sucks and fucks. It's not small of me. It's me. So there's no big announcement. There is. A Netflix podcast. Oh. But we're calling it The Adam Ray Show. Characters. Me. Not me. Characters. Friends. Famous people. Not famous people. People. People, people. People helping people. What's that for? What's the tour? What's the big thing? It's people helping people. AdamRayComedy.com. Oh, that's for my act. Yeah, I think it is. Yeah, that's you. That's you. It's about girl stamps. Yeah. Yeah. God, I used to be good, huh? Speaking of your stand-up, do you have anything you want to plug? Are you on Road B? No. Finishing Bad Monkey. Look out for that in the summer. And Gearing Up. Can't get into too many things, but I'm going to shoot my next special. Well, keep auditioning for them. They'll let you in. Shoot my next special in 2026. Awesome. It's called Brentmore and I'm Back, Baby, but I never left. I never left. Well, it's two titles right now. Not bad about that. Mirror Moments and Delusional Confidence. Either one of those. What's the first one? It's going to be the title. Mirror Moments. I like the second one. Yeah. Delusional Confidence plays into my character. It does. But you have great bits about that. Mm-hmm. So. What's the thing you say when you're saying something? You get your words jumbled when they're leaving? Oh, a lie. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's so fucking funny. It's a fucking t-shirt. I got a merch. Merch it up. You do. And you should do the font in the Sour Patch Kids font. It's not. bad that's not bad i've been that is because it's part of sour patches i got an ipad with the pen to like work on my own merch because i used to do art i just want to acknowledge that adam has to go and you're talking about making your merch i just kind of want to be well this is funny because i opened the ipad the other day to help david sullivan shout out for an audition and the only thing that came up was pornhub so that was a 1500 or whatever that's gross i will be in only make love scenes san francisco i just will be in san francisco already i will be in denver in february i will be in houston in march and then i'll be in i don't remember oh shit i don't remember i'll be in cleveland are you doing that cruising i just had to drop out i know i'm really sorry dude i know workaholics that's not what it's called yeah this is important so i was gonna do that but i'm gonna be in denver then fucking adam's out too i know i'm sorry dude um that sucks uh anyway san francisco denver houston cleveland dallas portland salt lake city austin indianapolis st louis and more coming go to punch up dot live slash rick glassman to get tickets you can also sign up for my email list so i will email you if i book a show that is within 50 miles of your city gentlemen thank you so much for coming what a great time what a great hang and um best of luck have a good night and have a better tomorrow truman show uh failed audition did i get it you just got the word so wrong now cut to you in the car after the audition yeah but but you're in the back seat driving because you're really tall and you took the front seat out layers you're sitting in the back seat because you're really tall driving from the back seat you took the front seat out but your your girlfriend is in the front seat so she's kind of ahead of you to the right i'm gonna get some food no she's really much more she's like near where your feet are you want to get some food all right thanks for coming man perfect man this was awesome these are my favorite it's one of my favorite things we've i want to do one of these with santino too because i feel this way doing stuff with santino totally totally and lisa gilroy wow now we're just getting crazy i want to meet her i hear she's invited to that one oh why not because you're hosting it we're doing it at your place oh no though your moments i gotta get out of here i love you guys yeah me too let's take a picture you know what some people would be like yeah i gotta go too but i'll tell you the truth i'm totally fine ending it but i don't have to go stay you should do another hour i'm gonna stick around for a little bit i gotta get back to my dog and then maybe go see a movie with you there's an 8 30 oh yeah you