The podcast features a warm, introspective conversation between hosts Benito Skinner and Mary Beth Brown, centered on the power of active listening and genuine human connection. They reflect on personal experiences where attention, eye contact, and emotional presence created real moments of intimacy—sometimes in awkward or humorous scenarios. The hosts share relatable stories about conversations with straight men, where lack of reaction felt disheartening, underscoring the value of being truly present. Humor runs throughout, from jokes about misheard words and embarrassing moments (like a mistaken "cun" instead of "cun") to playful references to fashion, dating apps, and everyday life. They celebrate audience support, noting the show’s growth and reach across devices like Apple Watch. A major recurring theme is the joy of small, shared rituals—like wearing a new outfit to dinner or sharing icebreakers with friends. The episode also touches on cultural trends, such as the rise of inclusive dating apps and privacy tools, while maintaining a lighthearted tone. Ultimately, the hosts emphasize that meaningful connection isn’t about grand gestures but about showing up, listening, and being seen—especially in moments when someone feels truly heard. The closing line, “I ride for icebreakers, active listening, and authentic connection,” ties the episode together with a spirit of loyalty and mutual appreciation.
The following podcast is a "Dier Media Production". I'm Benito Skinner. I'm Mary Beth Brown. And this is. Right, right. Respectfully, I think it's her rhinoplasty that makes people think she's from LA. I've already broken the levels. Wow, I knew you were going to. You just broke the sound barrier with that one, kid. Love you. "Dier Media", clip that. And only clip that to show who she really is. You're true colors. I wanted to just say that I've never had a rhinoplasty, not even ones. Thank God you could say that on the pod. And how lucky are we to have a pod to just say. Deepunk. Okay, that one's deep-unking. Also, when I see comments that are like, "Isn't she dating that British actor?" I'm like, either like, "Pay attention or fucking clock out. Don't be half-assing it." Someone said one person commented the White House twink thinks he's a really slick, huh? He went and changed his name. It got masculine defining jaw filler. I almost said, "Thank you." Thank you. It's a movie. It's pretend you're an adult. You should know that. Me at the White House. Well, people keep trying to dunk on me in comments and they don't realize that they're actually giving me a compliment. That's my latest thing. Like, someone says that. Actually, I know. I take that all back because sometimes people give me the compliment and then they've also just said the meanest thing they could possibly say to me. So I love that you're getting that though. The opposite. Yeah, like, I get you're a Tim Burton character. So nice. Don't quit your day job. It is so nice. Didn't anyone tell this girl that heroin chic is out? And you're like, "Well, I just got chills." I mean, I'm cold, but I got chills. But I got chills too. Thank you for the wise words. Speaking of two, that's my big transition. So. So. That just happened. And it is happening. It's ongoing. Me on a Zoom with all of Amazon going. So that just happened. We are officially green lit. I was waiting for it. That green light I wanted. I wanted it. And I was keeping it from you guys for a really long time. I'm sorry. To everyone I lied to at malls. At the grove. Airport. Also mall. At the airport. At Hudson News. In line at Shake Shack, I did lie to that girl. And I like, didn't want to lie to you. Well, you just didn't see anything. Well, it's all in the eyes. I knew she couldn't keep a secret. Because I do think she was filming our entire interaction. So that as well. That's awesome. That sometimes will be kind of like, okay. I can't say that we're green lit. The filming thing is interesting to me. Because where is that going? Like, because I think someone was filming me on the subway the other day. And I was like, it's not like a problem. Like, I'm not doing anything. I don't want people to see it. The world's a stage. But what is it for? I don't know. I can't imagine me on the subway with headphones in is particularly riveting footage. I'm sorry. And this is maybe this isn't relatable. But sometimes we're just talking about our lives on here. Okay. It's not all going to be relatable. Do you remember when we were doing those Q and A's and this team guys kept showing up to all of them? Yeah. And one of them one day said something that I think about every day of my life. He's like, can we get another photo? You have a different outfit on today. And I thought, no one's ever loved me like this. No, I know. That's really cool. I said, love me like you do. And don't apologize. Of course we can get another photo. I'm wearing a different outfit. I am so excited. Yes, I have the entire outlet of the season. And I was ready to go. And I have been working on it for a while. For a very long time. But I am so excited. And what I want to say. And what I think we share this sentiment is thank you so much for all of you for championing the show. It really like did just like make it do numbers, so to speak. So it kind of did fucking numbers. What do you want me to fucking say? And now like I could be homeboy. I could not. No, it's just like it's just incredible. Tucker Rick Fucker jumped out. He has a name. Tucker Rick Fucker. And thank you for voting. So for was pretty good. I know and Chase Bank. And of course, Bronie HQ is leading the charge on getting all this stuff done for us. And it's just you is the reason I swear to God. Bronie HQ is the reason that I we got green lit. And I just thank you so much because this was a comedy and new IP, if you will. And it's really hard to get people to go and turn on their TVs and watch something and commit to it. And you did. And it really means a lot to watch on your TVs. Your laptops, your iPads, your Apple watches. It's so good. Oh my God. Fifth episode is so good on an Apple watch. On an Apple watch. Yeah. And I've got lots for you. Okay. This is going to be a new theme added to season three of ride, which is talking about season two of overcompensating. Well, yeah, because we started season two. Oh, no, we started season three, I think. I don't know. Season three was right before press. Oh, yeah, it just started past. I mean, we had done a few shows. I mean, this is all just fascinating. Just timeline. You get some days. It's just fascinating. Can someone help us with the timeline? We're just, we're fucking dizzy. I mean, if I do have been, it was just gone down. I mean, my God. So we were waiting for the premiere. I mean, I was, I think I was editing at the time. From crack. I do love, they're these vogue. Well, I love, I can I just say, I just love vogue's YouTube channel. I just think there's all kinds of cool things. I love a year's YouTube channel. Initial. I mean, so unusual. I do want to just shout out the winner of she won the National Spelling Bee. This was way back when. This is one of the first viral videos I ever saw. I think her name is Rebecca Sealfront. But she was talking about winning. And she got a, she got a word. She studied extra hard. And she just described it as it was very initial. So if you look up Rebecca Sealfront on YouTube, that's where that's from. So love you, girl. It took three weeks for you to say that. Because I think you said in a, in a previous episode. Well, sometimes we're going to circle back on it. And sometimes we're not. We have to listen to the whole thing. Like, that's my thing with season two. It's like a lot of things. Maybe you felt we're on a starter. I didn't get answered. Kid. No, just say the grace by truth, there's though, let's not let's not talk about that. I kind of burned down my health. We don't know what's going to happen. Well, I do. I know. I don't want them to be mad. So I'm not going to be mad about it. Can I just say all I can say for season two is it's I think a little surprising. It's very sweet. It's really wild. We're taking some really, I think, delicious, honest big swings. Yeah. And I'm very, yeah. And I have this today. So I'm going to be playing with that. Good. So you guys can see I have a hair clip. Yes. So this is what I'm doing on meetings underneath the Zoom is I'm just playing with stuff. So I'm going to try not to touch that again. Oh, I have this favorite. Oh, my god. I had this little thing. It was what they gave out at one of the college events. It was like an overcompensating like ribbon tie. Yeah, so they were giving out fidget spinners. It was either that or lighters or rape whistles. They literally gave out rape whistles. Remember when they blew all the rape whistles in AMC in Union Square? And it was actually, again, a test of my mental fortitude. It was a very similar pitch to to the microphone. Yeah, I mean, we're just we're seeing how far we can take you. I cut you off though. And when you said unusual, I wonder what you're going to say. There's no way of knowing. But what was the context? I don't remember something being unusual. Yeah, or you had said something. Do you remember King? What did we say? Did you listen? Yeah. There's no way. I would never expect him to. Wait, give me two seconds to think because that might be annoying. We'll think of it. It's like when I forgot the Cheryl Crowve or piece of toilet paper thing. I mean, this is a piece behind the curtain. You know, Oz, it's a bit like that. Oh, it's exactly like Oz. You put this in the. Oh, wait, I said it was something I was obsessed with. Leave it. Leave it. I don't know. That I loved. Okay, no, I'm done. You wrote something in the doc. The pod opening. Can I say it? Please. So I just think it's important to note, if you have pulled from a vape and we're making eye contact, I've seen you naked. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it. I'm just saying that I. That's the level of intimacy. And we make eye contact. It's blowing out for some reason. Close your back on. Close your back on. Okay, I wouldn't. I think it's full. But to go the whole time. And you know what? Everyone who does it kind of goes like this. And then they lock eyes with you. And I'm like, "Whoa." I'll never understand vaping. Ever in all my days. You know what? I did it one day for. I was on the Del Rey video. I sucked on this. It was like an apple one. And I won't lie. Midday, I was kind of like, "Hey, I mean it." Like, it was kind of nice. So I get, you know, oral fixation. I understand that. One of my favorite things was seeds in football. My mouth was so chock full of them. They would make sophomores dress up for the senior games. But they would never put us in because we were quite literally half the size of the guys who were seniors. Like, I was. Let's just say during that time, I was runway. I hadn't gone commercial yet. Totally. So we're just like, bone fin. And I just remember, like, I just would spend the what felt like years, but the two hours of the game with a huge thing of like, seeds in my mouth, just spinning them out. I became obsessed. I started to get like splinters in my mouth, but I was so obsessed with them. And I remember one time, we were so far ahead that the coaches were like, "Fuck it, put the sophomore guys in there." And I had to go like, "Oh, like, I am safe." Well, it's not like a hat. As if it's like, and I really didn't have enough of that. It was so. But I think it was like, cornered.
- That's on the golf course. - And that same game I had taken out my thigh pad and put in Charleston shoes. - You put in drag padding? (laughing) - Sorry. You have. - Whoa! - You have put both hands in with a huge ass. - I walked into the locker room and said, "Waste to where?" My body is tea. I got so cold recently when I went into the ocean, I just started screaming, "My body is tea." And everyone around started doing it. And I'm like, it was kind of very like, come on, her plunk, which I was going to start today with. Thank you. (laughing) Can I just say? Thank you. I am so proud of y'all. - Oh my God. - You have done your daddy so good. - I have something we haven't talked about, but I do want to address, but it's tangential to come on, her plunk, but I'm just trying to. - I can't remember you thinking I had drag. I had thigh pads and a bowl. - And you were feeling yourself. - What did you say? - Do you like my paddy? - Yeah. - You wanted the locker room. - And to be fair, the other team just walked off the field. - Yeah, of course. - We said, "I don't want none of this gayshit." - Fuck is that? The fuck is that? But yeah, I had Charleston shoes in my thigh and they were so good. I would just eat them during the games. And you know, I made myself popular by any means necessary if I'm carrying a snack around. Fuck it, I'll do it. But thank you for her plunk. There was before her plunk and there's certainly an after. And it seems like what I'm feeling like I'm hitting lately and you guys can correct me if I'm wrong. I'm appealing to the straight male audience randomly with these eras. They're kind of coming in and in a way that it feels like for the first time maybe straight couples are sharing something amongst each other. If it's this chick woke up in my house and come on, her plunk was, I mean, of course they latched onto that but it wasn't for them, I would say initially. 'Cause like yes, her plunk is more-- - It's more for the girls. - It feels more ballroom to me. - Oh, really? - If I had to say. - There's commercial, there's runway, and then there's ballroom. - And you get that. - And I get that. I would say this chick woke up in my house more commercial. - Thank you. - Shea Similwagen more runway. - Shea Similwagen is Berlin. - And come on, her plunk. - Well, that's ballroom. - That's sweetie. That's New York City, honey. - So we might cut this, who knows? But I did-- - Oh, good. - Oh, so you know what I'm about to say? - Yeah. - I just think, no, I can't say it. I actually can't-- - Oh, good, keep all this. - Yeah, keep it. - I just want to say that there's certain things that don't feel appropriate to say right before we say, come on, her plunk, or get into something like that. So not everything is appropriate to be addressed in every space. - I agree. That's what I'm going to say. - I'm excited to see how everyone tries to figure out what you just meant. - I think people will get it. - I think so too. It's gonna, yeah, I think I'm-- - You're on board? - Yeah. - What else did I put in this? - Snoring, this is something I put in. So snoring on a plane is illegal. There's no good solution, but you can't snore, I'm sorry. You just can't. And if you snore on a plane, you have to pay me $10. - I do agree. You know, it'd be fun if I was a flight attendant. I think I would straddle them. Like go right above their head when they woke up. It was like that, man. - Like Sydney, Swiney, and anyone but you. - That part did make me-- - That part I really did laugh during. That made me laugh a lot. - Again, we're just-- - That made me laugh a lot. - We're just saying she exists. We're not comments. You know what? Anything. - I swear to God. - Oh, we're not reading the Reddit anymore. Sorry. That's a space for you guys to have fun and get in fights or whatever. Hopefully support each other mostly, but sometimes getting fights. And I would say like, have fun on there. You're totally welcome to speculate about our relationship. If anything like that, but we won't be reading anymore, it makes us feel like high highs and low lows. It should just be a space for you guys. - It's like kids' diary and who am I to read that? Like-- - It's not for us. - What movie is it where the mom actively does read her kid's diary? I forget that. - I don't know, but Ray and Charlie do it in girls. I'm just obviously in a girls' rewatch right now. And they read Hannah's diary and it's really not. You shouldn't do that. - Well, I've been watching the comeback and I want to ride for it, but it almost-- - You know when some things are like, there's such a middle ground of ride, you know? And that's what I tell people. Like when I see them on the street, when I meet them outside, when I meet them in subway. - Rides like some are just too big to talk about. Like I just, it's like the Fleabag episode, that could be a series finale. - I know. - So it's like, it's just hard to, but the comeback, that's what I've been watching. And I highly recommend it for everyone. My god, Lisa Kudrow and it is like, I was trying to think of my favorite acting performances of all time and this is like a top five. It's one of them for sure. - It's just so genius. - And I love a mail-in-acherman vehicle. You know me. - God, I love her too. - But I haven't watched "Hunting Wives" and I don't know if I will, I'm not sure. - Oh, I haven't either. That's with Britney Snow, right? I'm sure we'll lock into that. She has season eight. She is so genius and heartbreak kid. I've never quoted someone more in it. So there are two movies that I quoted all the time. I was in the closet mind you. So this is gonna be confusing to say the least. - Yeah, let's just say we're all trying to figure out why some people were like, really? You know, there were like three people who did really, but you know, for those, she's in this movie called the Heartbreak Kid. - I haven't seen it. - I would quote it, it's with Ben Stiller and it's the thing where he marries a scroll and then after the marriage, she's just like quite literally, like the most psychotic person on earth. - Women in, really? - Really, and they go, fine. I mean, you would have loved this role. And then I would say the other performance that I think about all the time is Anna Ferris and Jess Friends. - Yeah. - Anna Ferris was, I mean, smiley face. I almost had happy face, but smiley face. - Should I ride for her next week on a Ferris? - Yeah. - I just have so much to say. I think her performance is-- - What a wonderful woman. - Yeah, I mean, one through four on my top five is just Anna Ferris. Jess Friends, House Bunny, Scary Movie. Like, I just, she's brilliant. Her and Jess Friends, I quote all the time. But, oh my God, Molly and Akerman, she's fabulous. You rode in here and then we'll get into what we ride for. - Great. - Can't wait for our era of having an accent. All actors start to do this at some point. - Yeah, so all actors, it doesn't really matter. - And we are actors now, now that the show's been renewed or officially acting. - Season one didn't count. Season two, you're gonna have to go with it. So here's the thing. No matter what, at some point in every actor's life, they're on a red carpet one day. And they say something like, it was quite interesting. Wasn't it? And it's like, you're from Idaho, what the fuck? It's like, you're from Detroit. And I just keep seeing it and it keeps happening. And I don't know why it happens, but there's a transatlantic moment that happens for all actors. - And some of them really stick with it. - And I can't wait to watch yours. I'm gonna go, what the fuck? Like, you're gonna be on a carpet and you're like, I'm not gonna tell you I'm doing it. 'Cause I won't even be aware of it. - Well, you won't. - You get, no, I don't personally believe that. It would be such like something. - And everything like such as that regard. (laughing) You know what I mean? And it's like, whoa. - It's like, who is that? - I will be writing for icebreakers, ice cubes. - And I will be writing for active listening. - You get into it? - Yes, of course. - Okay. - Get it, girl. - Oh, see ya. I like this body oil all over myself. So, oh, see ya's best selling in Daria. - In Daria, I'll be the body oil. - I'll see body oil. It is really quite lovely. I burned my skin recently, sadly. I'm sorry, when I was at the beach. 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(laughing) - They don't want to single out any one group. - Exactly, start with that. (laughing) Are you coming for Gaze? - However. - Okay, they're straight men who don't do active listening, right? And then there's gay attention. Gay male attention is when they are half listening to you, but they are able to respond. They're looking at you. They are what appears to be active listening, but they're not actually paying attention to what you're saying. So sometimes I'll say to Jake, I need your full attention right now. I don't need your gay attention, which is where you're half listening to me. I need you to lock in right now. But regardless of if Jake's giving me gay attention or full attention, I know he's looking at me and he's reacting to what I'm saying, either way. - Yeah, like I'm thinking about a season two storyline, but I'm also like, I'm here. - And I do think we're able to have two things going on in our minds at once. That's something that some people can do and some people can't. I would say what I've been having trouble with lately is being in conversations with straight men, which is happening more recently. And I, gosh, I'm just getting choked up thinking about it. I'm telling them something that happened to me and there's just no reaction on their face whatsoever. It's just stone cold. - Well, this goes back to you saying that you thought for a while that straight man couldn't hear you when you talk. - They couldn't. - Yeah, it's like sometimes when I say what I want, people around me go, what was that? - Right. - 'Cause I don't do it that much. So they're kind of like-- - They're kind of shocked by it. - They're like, was that a binky? - Well, you know, and is that pinkie? And why is she speaking English? - Me, pinkie just talks. - In conversations and in group chats, I would say I'm very generous. I want to make sure people feel heard. I want to respond to people. I hate letting a message hang in the group chat that goes unresponded to because I'm thinking about how that makes that person feel. When someone's telling me a story, I want to look at them. I want to be fully listening. And if they say something, I'm going, oh my God, that's crazy. What? No, stop. Like I'm reacting. Okay? - Everyone's like chill bitch. - Everyone's like calm down. I just told you I got back from the backroom. - Yeah. - I'm always listening because-- - That's you doing active listening. They're like, have you ever talked to her lately? - She's not doing good. - So I just think it's not that kind when I'm telling a story and it's like something that should elicit a response or a reaction. I'm not asking you to solve a problem. I'm just asking you to not even, even just not even can be active listening. - Just be with me, be in the passenger seat. Like let's go on this. - We're in this together, let's lock in and listen to each other because you better believe if you're telling me a story I'm going to be reacting. - Of course. - And I want the same courtesy because like my shit matters. My shit is important. And if you're not actively saying, if you're not active listening, I don't feel safe around you. - Yeah, because also I think with active listening, it is also so obvious when it's gay attention or it's not full. Like I think what's special about active listening is the conversation then will be a true conversation that it'll lead to other places. It will go, it will, you know, paint the town red. - Paint the town red. Let's just see where this goes. It's a sea of an idea. - Exactly. - And we can watch it grow and see big merch tree. - And it's like, wait, what about that? And then you can, you know, that to me. Did you feel about that? - Or how about this? What does that make you think of? What I just said. - Exactly. - What does it make you think of? - I find that sometimes I say yeah too much, but it is what it is. - I just nod a lot, but it is like coming from a sincere place. And so I just think when I'm, yeah, if there's a blank stare looking back at me, I'm just thinking, all right, I'm done. Let's end it there. Let's walk away from this with our heads held high. You tried your best, maybe. But I just don't want to feel like I'm just talking to myself. - I know. What can be cool too is like active listening is also questions. It baffles me just pretty consistently when someone kind of doesn't have those. 'Cause I'm like, again, and I just, I want to say this a few times because then I think it'll stick probably by the third or fourth. But it's not that I want to talk about myself. You just need to like kind of bring something up. You know what I mean? I don't know. - It can be anything, it can be anything. It doesn't need to be about me specifically. Although I would say like I am a pretty interesting person and I'm an open book. So you can ask me anything. But if you ask me something and I'm responding in a sincere way, I need to feel safe. I need to feel safe when I need to feel acknowledged. And sometimes I'm just not feeling that and I don't like that. It's the best active listener, you know. - Probably myself, I would say me. - For sure. So I would say me. So if I had to say, I wonder who's the best. You're really good. - My friend Ashley, who I used to work with, like she really does the eye contact thing and she doesn't care about her phone. - She doesn't blue eyes, does she? - No. - Oh, then that's fine. - I think with my phone sometimes I do get distracted if I'm bored, but I only usually pick it up to look at it if there's a love in the conversation. I'm not pulling it out when someone's in the middle of talking. So there's even just one on one. - I will say also, as far as the phone thing, it can be really nice to actually lose yourself in a conversation, like see how mindful you can get in it too. By the way, welcome to another pod studio, my darling loves. So there's this wood paneled wall. There's a spot for two guests. - Those. - Yeah, right. Yeah, our tethers are here. - And then there's a salt lamp. - Well, there's always a salt lamp, isn't there? - And okay, something someone actually wrote on the reddit the last time I checked it, which I won't ever check it again. - It's the last one. - But someone was writing for comfortable silence and I would like to do that in the future. It's a sister of active listening comfortable silence because it means yes you have. We do in the car all the time. - But there has to be music or something. - No, no, no, it doesn't. - Remember when I cried in your arms recently? - Yeah. - Wait, clip that. I'm not gonna say to your media, that's anyone watching clip that. - That's the pod studio we're at right now. There was flooding at dear media. So I wonder if it affected the microphone, the one you bought, hopefully. - Oh, yeah. - Hopefully not, hopefully it's so fine. - So I left my Lord microphone there. We'll get into Lord next week. But I did leave it at the Pacific Design Center. So who knows? I bet Jackson's been in the mirror every day singing into it. - Jackson, we miss you. - Jackson, we miss you, darling. It's hard. It's when you're like us and you're international. If you're doing something as important and exciting as we are as in trying to go to every pod studio, in the country. - No, no, the world's sweetie. I want to take over the world. We're looking at pod studios in Paris, London. - London, Montreal. - We actually are looking at one in London. We're looking at one in, I assume I was literally about to say Australia. - Perth. - That's why I can't do Australia. - No. - How would I say Australia? - Australia. - Australia. - Something like that. - I can do it. And I'm fine to not do it. I'm not gonna force it down anyone's throughout. But here's the thing with this whole act of listening. I have nothing to say. - You're just amplifying. - I'm just amplifying because I think it's true and it's honestly, I sometimes, I dissociate, I go to places, I think of ideas. - It's okay sometimes. - I'm so easily distracted. - Yeah. - And what I would say is I would rather have someone interrupting me.
in response and in born and reaction to, as you yawn, then look at me with a blank stare, like the late, you're on but no one's talking. - Active listening can be yawning. - It can be yawning, it can be. You're reacting, acting as reacting. - One of the best active listening situations that I can think of recently was you talking to a vet and going, "Oh, Kalo, so that's perfect, active listening." - Oh, sorry, and what I didn't say that I had pitched him was your double vet. - You're a veteran, veterinarian. - And you need to get a t-shirt made. This is a double vet. - Did you say that too? - I surely did. - See, that's active listening. - And also, you're having fun with it. - Oh, that was such a good example of active listening. Thank you for bringing that up. - Of course. - Even saying, "Fo-klor" was a fun talking. - Because I'm listening to what you're saying and it's hitting me like a ton of bricks. - Lately, my thing is, somebody they'll describe something and they go, "Show me." Like, when someone's telling me who they're hooking up, it's like, "Oh, oh, oh, I instantly need a photo." - Sorry, "Sumia, I want to see you." - "Sumia, I want to be awe." - "Sumia, I want to be awe." - And on that note, I will say, and this is not about any song in particular. - Yes, my love. - I do believe that the music industry in tandem with the government, they're working hand in hand. They're releasing songs that make so little sense. They want to see if we're going to notice. - What do you think I've been doing this? I'll seize it. So you understand? - Yeah. - Those two things going hand in hand, sweet. - Yeah. - It's like, will they pick up on the fact that nothing that's being said makes any sense? And the answer is up to now is no, but I'm saying I'm onto you. - I was actively listening one time to a straight guy when I was in college that was so funny. He had this theory where he said that high school musical was made by aliens and they were really close to reality, but not quite. - But they just missed it just by a hair. - By a hair, they were so close. And I think about that a lot, because there's a lot of things that I see that feel like that almost. - Yeah, it's like, it didn't have any human touch or interaction. It was made by, it's like, it's the real of us. - Of course. - Coming to NBC Thursdays at eight this fall. - Oh, I can't wait. - The real of us is very season two to me personally. - What is the real of us? - Well, I love active listening. This is really fun. - It's fun. I mean, it would be weird to have a podcast if you don't do active listening and I've done straight male podcasts where they don't. And I'm like, everything you're saying isn't funny. And I'm listening, so can you just pay me the courtesy? - Yeah. - Do me the same, but no. - I'm wondering if you're also saying active listening as far as like, 'cause sometimes it can be really hard. - Absolutely. I'm not saying you have to do it all the time or you're a bad person. Obviously there are situations where someone's going on and on they won't shut the fuck up. That's really hard. - Yeah. - And in those situations, I am shutting down. But if you're talking to me, I mean, if you have the honor and great privilege, like-- - Of course. - That's what I do. - That's how lucky I am. - You have a moment to take a peek inside my mind. You better take advantage of that. 'Cause not everyone gets that. - I agree. - So. - I have this problem where every time I talk to someone, they look at my freaking rack. - I mean, walk onto the football field with track pads on you. - How are you guys always looking at my buddies and not actually listening to what I'm saying? I've got a brain. - I think you can't wait for either part of the podcast. - I did not need padding on that ass in football trust. I miss those pants. Those pants were like really fabulous. They just, actually I got to wear them for the first season. They put me back in the old pads. - Not season two, though. - Not season two. I've got a different thing on next season. By now, you've probably heard of built where you can earn points on your monthly rent payment. But did you know they make it possible for you to get more outside of your home, too? If you're paying rent every month without earning anything in return, let Benny Drama introduce you to built. The rewards program designed for renters who want to earn something for their largest monthly expense. Let Mary Beth explain. - Nobody wants to pay rent, but if you have to, built makes it worth it. 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That's pu- pu-you. - Oh my god. - P-U-R-E and start dating on your own terms. - I've been sitting here in a culture the whole lot. Your pleasure is power, download pure now. - Oh. - Should we get into gum? You're writing for gum this week and I can't wait to see how you talk about it for 10 to 12 minutes. - Yeah, see, here's the thing. I can. I really can actually. Well, I love you. - Totally. - So, I will be writing for icebreakers, ice cubes. Fuck it. I have to just say that here's the thing. Okay, actually, I'm gonna restart. - No, I liked that. Can we keep it? - Wait, wait. - The restart, but I just liked it. - Okay, but here's the thing. It just seems crazy to have to say this every time. Not a scent. I have bought so many of those little. To me, it's a jar. - It's a jar. - It's Pandora's box that I buy at the gas station of these icebreakers, ice cubes. We're not getting paid for this. You know, maybe Mary Beth is on the table. I wouldn't know. - I'm being paid handsomely. - Oh, good. - By icebreakers. - Yeah? I don't know. - I know. I know. I love her. - She's always like, "Why the fuck is it like she's perceptive?" - Of course. - I like follow-up questions that lead to new topics that's all, say, so. - Let's go. - Let's move on. - That's a perfect clip. And so something like that is exactly why we have a podcast. - And you don't. - And you don't. - You don't. - Oh, that'll be in the little. - Yeah. - Write the pot out of context. - Sometimes it's so. I love it. I crack up. - Yeah, fucking. I'm like, no, I'm like, "Share. We're in our bag." Like, we're top of our game right now. - We've never been better at the podcast. - Then right now. - I agree. We're locking in. I feel the most myself, if that makes sense. - Yeah. - Does that make sense? - Yeah. - So, that's also a way to be an active listener. I would say, actually, I'm going to give some rules before we move on. To be an active listener, if you should say anything, I'm just going to walk you guys through some gestures, if you want, that can really hook a man. - Totally. - So, one is your index finger, curve it into a hook, straights your canines, and just go like this, and look them. Make sure you don't blink and cock your head, and that's a really easy way to act to listen. Another one is in the middle, is in the middle. Rub your back of your neck, and then push it forward, and then just keep looking, and then pull it out. - You sound like a rat. - And then sometimes it's good too to just do like a light grab of a rock. - Yeah. - Like I'll just touch my chest. - Big or small, doesn't matter. - Pop your neck also another way. What I found lately is the immediate, if I'm really not enjoying a conversation, I'll put on Chapstick or something, which I don't want people to read into. - Wait, you know, what you can do if you don't want to be somewhere, you go, I have to pee. - Oh, that's good. - Yeah, that's really good. - Fuck, I have to pee. My trick is to like, oh, if I'm like having a really weird interaction, I'm like time to put on Chapstick. It's kind of like the vape thing, because if I look you and I want to put Chapstick on, you're maybe seeing my pants off, but it's not completely. - Not fully. It's not shaft. You just did it. - I keep having to clear my throat. I don't understand it. - You know what? - Active listening just made me think of such a good joke we have from season one of overcommitating like actors' life, hashtags. - That's that life. - Is there anything better than that set life? - Well, it's so relatable. - We'll never be able to do it. We'll never be able to do it. - Which one? - Because it reveals too much of what went on on set. - Oh, fuck. - That is cute. - Oh, my God. - We can't give any content. - That's damn it. - Maybe season six. We'll get permission from the person that it's about. - All I'm going to say is to, because I want to give people a little tease of what that was. It is someone's job to pick where people live. And I just thought it was funny of the actors. - Of the actors. - Of the actors. And I just thought it was funny thinking of my queen who picked that. Some of the choices she made, I was laughing to myself thinking, we're putting an ice cube on her neck. - And it melts. - Enjoy the summer. This one's going to be a scorcher. And she just laughs. They're like, Hey, is everything okay here?
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, sorry. It's all up. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So icebreakers ice cubes. These little gumlets, they're fuckers. I love them. They're gumlets. Well, they're gumlets. Wherever New Jersey football team plays, I just want to shout that out as one of my best moments in public industry. It's probably, I will say we're writing a script right now, me, Mary Beth and Owen Thiel. And there is one joke in it that I'm fine to ruin because I keep laughing about it. But I have this joke where straight guys, one straight guy calls us targets. And they're like, isn't it? And he's like, no, it's targets. And I just, I don't know why. I've been like laughing to myself. Like a lot. Yeah. Just because it's so like, I remember that being like in eighth grade with like a straight guy. And I would say like, isn't it this? And they're like, no, man, one convinced me it was cun instead of cun. I was like, wait, that's not right. And he's like, it's cun. That's someone that's not active listening because he'd be able to hear the consonant at the end of that word. Exactly. I'll let him know. So these gummers, they're in every gas station. I don't think you could even try to find these in a grocery store. But you know the ones. They're in little Pandora's box. You shake them and they, you know, they, they jiggle. But these little gummers, they're so refreshing and the flavor. I mean, yeah, it's not there for a long time. It's not, it's very good. It's not a long time. But they're very fuck it. We ball because yeah, they have Aspartane and yeah, they're shaped like fucking cubes. They're literally ice cubes. And I can like picture. Do you remember like five gum? Those ads, like the sensorial sensation of five gum. I just remember like, that's how I feel when I chew these and I chew four in my mouth. I got a big cavern like I'm trying to chop. Oh, well, with my masculine defining jaw filler. jaw filler. Yeah. You have to, you have to prove something. Well, of course. And I just say of nothing to prove. Say that to someone in the middle of a conversation. See what they do. That's a challenge. You have nothing to prove. So sometimes when we're at dinner, I'll go, I'm going to go to the bathroom. And then I go, what if I just never came back? And like you never saw me ever again. I love this bit. Ever again in in your whole life. I know. I just completely disappeared. And then years later, I would go to the beach. You told me about once in Mexico and you'd be building a ship there. Exactly. That's my big Shawshank redemption call back. Call back to right now. Yeah. To right now. Yeah. You're being extra funny today. And you have enough. Let's see how much more time I got on icebreakers. I excuse you. So this. I have nothing to prove. Yep. Hey, we're doing this to someone grabbing one of their fingers. Grab the person across. You just grab one of their fingers and goes, you are safe. And then make your eyes really big. You're safe. I've noticed when people go, "Maha," which is make America healthy again. I don't know if you heard about that. I think their eyes get bigger. I saw Aaron Rodgers in a junket. Aaron Rodgers was doing a junket. Don't do these eyes. He was doing a junket. And someone on the plane next to me was watching it. And I just saw this. And I thought you look really healthy, dude. I'm good as fuck. The fuck? So they do have it's a sensorial experience. Yes. These gummers. And I just, I love them. Like, I have at least five in my car at the same time. I've tried every flavor. They're all fun. The smoothie ones get a little, you know, when they go too very fresh, it's a little, it's a little much. But for me, and then every brand is followed suit. So I think that it's innovation. Well, of course. Well, just wait until I get to the, the orbit ones are so good, but I can't find them anywhere. They were in your robot, but I can't find them anywhere else. They're probably, they're probably illegal here for some reason. Oh, that's probably true. But they're so good. And those burst. So I guess what I'm writing for is these little absolute like a kind of gushers. I would say such it's gum but gushers gum but make it gushers. And how are you going to make it gushers? But I, I just think that we all could have a little bit more gum in our life. And let's get into writer die. I really die. I got it. No, I got to go away. I don't I love gum. No, but why they're so fun is also because the shareability and there's not that extra paper in it like other. It's just right. It's just a fuck ton of plastic. I think if I was gum, I'd be this, it's doing a little too much. They're trying hard. They're flavor blasted. They burn bright. They've not been burned out. They've got too much to prove. And let me tell you body tea, but wait. No, they do. They do have a little hourglass shape. So pair. And for me, well, the Mentos one is very like full. It's got curves. But the Mentos one I like, I think the flavor kind of it, it puters out pretty fast. It puters out pretty fast. Is it, is I supposed to eat peaters out? You say whatever you want to say honey. Cun. You're saying that to a double veteran. You've done so much. Oh, no, no, no, you know, it's even worse than anything that people would do to me. You know, like forced intimacy people. Oh, my God. And when we do another die episode about that because holy fuck, don't do that to me. I can smell bullshit on you. Don't fucking. You're really proud of yourself. And I'm like, Oh, I'm not. Yeah. Sorry. That's not really how it works. I'm fighting my finger. I'm like, Oh, fuck, I can't do that with you. You're like making this weird. I just think this gum, it's like, they'll just knock your socks off. They feel like an orgasm in your mouth. Totally. It's, it's fun. See how many you can fit in your mouth. They're great. Just like after a meal. I also think just like a lot of people had events. It'd be fun to have them in your bag or not. Oh, people smell so badly lately. I know, including me, like I recently I was working out and to J.R. I apologize because I was kind of giving like just raw beer. Doesn't matter. I tell you that I was in love with this kid and when I was growing up and he had such bad B.O. that I thought B.O. was his scent. So now when I smell B.O. I'm like, I'm like, Oh, that's what he smelled like like that's his colon. Oh, there's a perfume right now that's going to be my 13th reason. It's the one that was worn at your party where I had to leave because it gave me a headache. I don't know what perfume it is. And I can't ask anyone wearing it because I wouldn't be able to hide my response, which is like I fucking hate it. It's actually I have to go home right now. But it's just it's so for some reason the type of person that wears it just douses themselves. And it's just making me want to leave. Well, you know what I'm thinking? It's maybe the Regina George, which I think that moment is so brilliant in mean girls of complementing something you see and you're actually you despise it is actually such a normal human thing because it's like you want to call it out because yeah, you don't know how to respond to it. It's fucking up your reality somehow. So you're like, I love that. What's the scent? So then that person hears it and they're like, oh, I'm about to bathe in this shit. Yeah, but I say something that'll kind of offset that is the is the blast of an icebreakers ice cubes. Also, putting a few of those in your mouth, not only you've seen me naked, you've seen a hole at that point. You've seen the manuscript. But I love the shareability of them. The whole thing is kind of like open up the safe. Bitch has got a lot to say. Very eggy is alia. Yeah, because there's two openings. They're say they have one thing where they go to share and then they go for you. And it's too big. Oh, yeah, that's nice. It's awful. I'm glad they did that. That's 10 minutes on icebreakers' ice cubes. You know what you are, Vinnie? Hmm. A ****. Your words not mine. Babe, you're my rider die. Ride or die. So let's get into rider die. I ride for icebreakers ice cubes. I like innovation. I like interesting packaging. And I like reinventing the form. I mean, after they came out with those little foil packets with the gum, they probably thought, well, this is as far as we can push the form. It's sort of like talking in pop songs. Well, they thought that I assume they thought are all these going to melt and stick together. And are they going to, can we bake these? Can we bake gum? Of course. And they said, yes, we can see sip with it. And I'm always ready to bring that back. See sip with it. Oh my god, let's please bring this is so the season of see sip with it and curplunk. Here's my thing on the wait, I just forgot. Okay, perfect. We're keeping that. Yeah. I you can forget. And can I just say one thing? Can I say one thing? What the heck? I love how much you love them. Thank you. And you know, how much I love them. How many cases were in the car? Many. It's so fun. But I have one in each holder and in the middle. But I'm really trying to stop driving soon. So we'll see, we'll see where I put them. Sometimes they are hard to fit in a tiny clutch. But I just do this. I put a handful. It work. Make it work. I keep having to clear my throat. I'm sorry. It's so annoying. Every time you get Tim gun, well, Tim gun, it's guttural. Yeah, it's hard to get. It's bringing some stuff up for me. Yeah, yeah. I ride for active listening. I think I always try to, I try to be thoughtful of it because I think at times I am, I get distracted easily. And I also get in my head and the intrusive thoughts who if I told you everything I was thinking, I don't know if you'd want to be talking to me. But yeah, sometimes the intrusive thoughts are there. But at times they can almost wake me up to like, I'm not being present enough with this person. And it can be all I can say is when you tap into it, a really beautiful conversation can happen. And or you just made someone feel heard, which is really nice. So I love active listening. I ride for it. Period. Absolutely. No, absolutely. Yeah, I know. I get that. And I guess on that note, did you want to just quickly touch on dinner outfits or? Yeah, it's just I can't think of anything better. You did put you wrote that in the document with two exclamation points. I just think like there's something so cool about putting on an outfit and going to dinner and and just showing whoever you're going to dinner with them, seeing it for the first time. What a magical moment of like, I don't know every time I kind of put my hair behind my ear like I have. You know what it is. I'm going to tell you exactly what it is. And then we're going to and we're not. We're going to have to mute this because then we can't monetize but it's very this. Well, just describe it what is it.
I can't. I love you. Me walking out of my room, my house, in my outfit tonight. Wait, turn that off and I'll just sing it. Kiss me. My, my, my, my, my, my. That was the first time I've ever been pitching. Oh, my exit. Any babe eyes on the road. There you go. Ride, ride, ride.
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The podcast highlights the importance of active listening, emphasizing genuine engagement over half-hearted responses or distractions.
Hosts share personal anecdotes about conversations, including reactions to stories, eye contact, and moments of emotional connection.
There is a recurring theme of humor and self-awareness, such as jokes about "active listening" being misapplied or exaggerated in real-life interactions.
The hosts celebrate their audience’s support, noting the show’s growth and visibility across platforms, including Apple Watch and social media.
A major focus is on shared experiences like dining, fashion, and everyday moments—such as wearing new outfits or using icebreakers—where connection feels authentic.
The hosts discuss the cultural and emotional impact of being seen and heard, especially in conversations with straight men, and highlight the value of mutual presence.
They reference product promotions (e.g., gum, clothing brands, privacy tools) as part of a broader theme of personal expression and shared joy.
The episode ends with a playful, heartfelt call to action—“I ride for icebreakers, active listening, and authentic connection.”
Summary:
The podcast features a warm, introspective conversation between hosts Benito Skinner and Mary Beth Brown, centered on the power of active listening and genuine human connection. They reflect on personal experiences where attention, eye contact, and emotional presence created real moments of intimacy—sometimes in awkward or humorous scenarios. The hosts share relatable stories about conversations with straight men, where lack of reaction felt disheartening, underscoring the value of being truly present.
Humor runs throughout, from jokes about misheard words and embarrassing moments (like a mistaken "cun" instead of "cun") to playful references to fashion, dating apps, and everyday life. They celebrate audience support, noting the show’s growth and reach across devices like Apple Watch. A major recurring theme is the joy of small, shared rituals—like wearing a new outfit to dinner or sharing icebreakers with friends.
The episode also touches on cultural trends, such as the rise of inclusive dating apps and privacy tools, while maintaining a lighthearted tone. Ultimately, the hosts emphasize that meaningful connection isn’t about grand gestures but about showing up, listening, and being seen—especially in moments when someone feels truly heard. The closing line, “I ride for icebreakers, active listening, and authentic connection,” ties the episode together with a spirit of loyalty and mutual appreciation.
FAQs
Active listening means fully focusing on what someone is saying, making eye contact, and responding thoughtfully. It creates a safe, trusting environment where people feel heard and valued, leading to deeper, more meaningful connections.
The hosts note that some straight men react with blank stares or lack of engagement, which they find disheartening. They emphasize that true connection requires full attention and emotional responsiveness, not just surface-level interaction.
The hosts frequently discuss icebreakers and ice cube gum as fun, shareable, and sensory experiences that bring joy and spark laughter. They describe them as playful, refreshing, and perfect for bonding in casual or awkward moments.
They mention that they’ve been aware of people filming them in public, like on the subway, and find it fascinating. While they don’t see it as intrusive, they wonder about the purpose and intent behind such filming.
They dismiss such claims as half-hearted or misinformed, stating that people who make such comments are either ignoring context or being disrespectful, and they value honesty over gossip.
The hosts embrace 'Ride or Die' as a symbol of loyalty, commitment, and shared values. It reflects their dedication to active listening, authenticity, and supporting each other through the journey of the podcast.
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