Acknowledge the Challenge with Kylie Kelce

The idea of carrying the weight of being an example to my athletes now, I always talk about how when we had our first, it was October 2nd, we were in field hockey season. A week after I had her, I strapped her to the front of me and I went to practice. I wanted the girls to see, like, life doesn't stop because you have kids. And as women, like, we have to acknowledge that challenge and then continue on. And as athletes, we've been training for this. Yeah, yeah. This episode of IMO is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Hey. Hi, Craig. How are you? I'm doing great. Good. A little rainy. It's been, we're in D.C. recording. We are, we are. Now, and unusually rainy. It's not cold. Well, to you, because you live in the deep tundra. Is this cold? Is this cold for you? Yeah, yeah. Oh, man. I mean, and it's interesting because I'm, you know, I. You're from Chicago. I'm from Chicago, but. And, and I used to tease people from D.C. about what they thought cold was. Yeah. But I'm getting that way. You've been converted. I mean, it feels chilly. And it's like in the high 60s, low 70s. And it's like, ooh, there's chill in the air. If I, if we weren't here, I would probably have shorts on. I think. Because. Because that's how it is. That's how it is. In cold weather climates, you know. You keep the shorts until it's about 65. Well, you know, like you go through a stretch of zero degrees and then 50 feels like summer. I mean, literally people in Chicago go to the beach. If it's sunny and 55, folks are at the beach. Blankets and picnics and everything. Maybe not even a blanket. It's like, ooh, it's hot. It's hot. All right. But we've got a. Fun show. Very fun show. You know, I'm under a lot of pressure. Tell me. Because this is Kelly's second favorite podcast. Thanks for saying that. We still be. No. Yeah, I know. We still rate. We still rate. We've got Kylie Kelsey with us today. And Craig, why don't you do the introduction so that we can get into it. I will. Well, Kylie Kelsey is a former collegiate field hockey player, advocate for the Eagles Autism Foundation, wife of retired NFL. Jason Kelsey and mom of four girls, a proud Philly suburb native. She now coaches. Yay, coach. High school field hike field hockey and host the popular podcast. Not going to lie. Without further ado. You like that? No, I did not. Not at all. It was for effect at all. Coach Kylie Kelsey. Thank you. Hey, coach. Welcome. So nice to meet you. Welcome to IMO. Thank you so much. This is so exciting. Well, we spent time together, but this is the first time we met. I get to touch you. And literally face to face. Face to face. When you did her show, you did it virtually. Yes. And why did we do Zoom? What was going on? Were you pregnant then? And I was. Were you pregnant somewhere else? I think so. Yes. I think I was very pregnant then. Yeah. If I remember correctly. Yes. And why wasn't I invited? Because we didn't want you there. It was a small oversight. And we're going to correct that very soon. You don't even know what you just signed yourself up for. And then now you better go. Oh, yes. You better do it. Believe me, I'm telling my wife loves you and your show. It's not Northeast Connect. It's not Northeast Connection. That's what that is. No, no. Well, she's New Jersey, right? Yes. She is. She is. We find each other. She do. And she went to school at Juniata. Okay. Right down the street. I love it. And she was a college softball player. Okay. So there's a lot of connection there. And she's a mother of four. Yes. Yeah. A lot of connection there. Well, I want our audience to understand your, your ascent and all that you are and do. I mean, can you talk a bit about your, yeah, you, it's like the number one, one of the top podcasts out, right? Am I maybe? I think so. I know you don't want to. No, I always downplay it. I never, I never, I never look at our insights. I never look at our, our views, our lessons. Good. I just, I mean, I am really happy to be able to have, to have a platform because I always say that if you're going to talk about me, you better talk about something good. And so it was a long time of people creating a narrative about myself or our family. And I'm a, I'm a Philly girl. If you just ask me, I'll tell you. So it became this opportunity to speak for myself and to really go straight to the source. So it was a really great, great opportunity to sort of silence all of the noise. And with that, we've been able to talk to incredible people, have amazing conversations. I've gotten to learn so much. We've gotten to have awesome opportunities, like being courtside at Unrivaled was incredible. Like those things like that, where I'm like, is this real life? But it's, it's given us also the opportunity to talk about infertility. Like miscarriage, motherhood, things that people nowadays are starting to talk about significantly more. It's sort of leveling the playing field. It's not just always, it doesn't always have to be this aesthetic. It's picture perfect. So I'm, I'm really fortunate to get to have those conversations, to get to talk to incredible people and sort of dive into the details. And so people know that the noise comes, came from your relationship, your relationship to your husband. Yes. Is that, that's correct. Is that where the noise was coming from? That's where the noise was coming. I mean, we, my husband did, I shouldn't say my husband, I guess we all did. We all participated in a documentary about him retiring from the NFL. I think that's kind of where it shifted. Now, my husband was in the public eye because he was one of the best centers in the NFL. I'm biased. Want to stop and say that again? I'm biased, but stats kind of show it. So I think I can say it. But he sort of got to go through the fine parts, the sort of more intimate parts of retiring from the NFL and what that meant. And he had watched so many teammates do it. And he decided that he wanted to sort of track his journey. So for two years, we had the most incredible film crew with us that sort of got into our house and saw behind the scenes. And after that came out, that was sort of, I think, the moment where people were significantly more interested. Now, other things have happened since then within the family. And because of the people that we've gotten to welcome in, we welcome it. But it's just, it makes more noise. And was that, so was that a fast yes for you when they were like, oh, you should have your own show? You're so. No. So tell me about that decision process. So I love, as much as people on the internet love to point out to me, I've said it so many times at this point, I love to be behind the scenes. I love to, like that fiddle leaf fig, I would be behind it, in it, cuddled up, just back there. Because it's, I always resort back to, I've been so tall my whole life that everybody's always staring at me. It's always been, look at your feet, figure out if you're wearing heels, look back up at your head, look back at your feet. And so I've always enjoyed, like, not having eyes on me. It was a hard choice for me. And being an athlete, growing up as an athlete, didn't curtail any of that? Because I've always thought, you know, I can't remember ever thinking, oh man, now I'm too tall. Because it's different for guys, obviously. Yes, it is. Right? It's different. But I know, I've been around her long enough to know that people are like, oh, you're tall. It's more uncomfortable. But I've found that in your generation, there's so many, more athletes and models and people who are just, they're more tall people. Yes. It's given me a, it's, my athletics has given me an appreciation for my body as a whole. And so I had that appreciation for my height in sports. When you get out of sports and you're off a field and you're not with your teammates and it's not eyes on your team, that was like safe space. You get into like a room where it's just you and a bunch of people who are five, five and lower. And you're like, why can everyone see my face above this ground? Yeah. Just trying to see it. We talked about it. It's like the tall girl. There's so many adjustments we make to try to not stand out in that way. You know, I mean, even in conversations with your crew, you're up here, your ears are nowhere near where the conversation is at. happening. So how are you, you know? You can still hear. You'd be surprised. No. You'd be surprised. I had never heard that. Your ears are above everybody else's. I mean, there's been a number of times where I felt left out of a conversation. I will say my assistant coach for field hockey and I will regularly, I will do one of these. Down to her ear. Okay. Because there is no discreet conversation between an almost six foot tall woman and someone who's five, five or shorter. That's right. Well, growing up, so it's your mom, your dad, your sister. Yes. Just this unit of four. Yes. What were you like as a little Kylie? Oh, my parents say that I was easy. I don't remember it, but they say I was easy. Are you older? I'm younger. You're younger. Yes. My sister and I, my mom always called us night and day. We were polar opposites from the look. Like my sister has very dark hair, fair skin, freckles. She has blue eyes. I was green eyes, tan, blonde. And so we were polar opposites. But we played the same sport. Like she was a field hockey keeper. She is. She's two inches shorter than me, though. I say that. Yeah. Strong. She will tell you she's 5'10", she's 5'9". You know, and that's what happens too. Yes. You know, it's like the five eighters, five seveners, they push it up. And it's like, it's just not true. It's not. That's not how tall you are. I'm sorry. And it's, it's, it's a female athletes and all men. Yes. All men are six feet. And it's like, dude, you're not. I'm sorry. I'm looking over your head. I'm 5'11". Straight up. Yes. Yeah. You know, I've never been taller than 5'11". So if you're not taller than me, you're not six feet. It's, it's really, you'd think that it's easy. But you know, guys, guys, guys don't let, they don't let the truth get in the way of a good story. No. So how did, what, what happened that your dad had? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. He had two field hockey players. Yeah. He, so he tried with your oldest sister too to get her to play basketball. I would imagine. It was a full press, full court press, if you will. See, that was it. He, see, he, he, he went the wrong, he should have just acted like he didn't want you to play basketball. Yes. Come on, dad. We would play for fun. But it just didn't stick. I think it's the area. I always tell people, like, if you look at our, our U.S. field hockey team roster, you will see there's at any given point, maybe 15 girls on the field. On the roster, out of those 15, you're talking like eight or nine of them are from Pennsylvania. We're just in a really great hotbed for field hockey. Like, field hockey wasn't a thing in Chicago. I didn't know it was a sport until I went to Princeton. Until we went to college. Yep. College. And I was like, what's this field hockey? Yes. And all, all these people have played this thing. Yep. I've never heard of it. Yes. So we didn't have it at all. No. My husband had never seen it before. He had never watched field hockey, which was, he was very confused about the fact that he grew up playing ice hockey. And every time I would refer to it as hockey, he's like, you know, that's not hockey. I played hockey. And I'm like, you better watch your mouth. Oh, gosh. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance, who is committed to helping people move forward and live fully. So, Mish, I want to get a little personal today. All right. And ask you a question. When did you know you were ready to settle down? To settle down, like, being married or, you know, like. Like, sort of in life. Like, you went from being sort of the, not that you were ever a wild child, but, you know, when you started thinking more like, all right, I'm an adult. I need to settle down. I think it was when I met and married Barack. You know, I mean, I think I felt like a full adult. When I was married, for some reason, you know, and he was, he was a full grown up. Mature. Yeah, he was mature. You know, he talked about future plans. You know, it was that time in life that I really started thinking broadly about who I wanted to be. I mean, although I was a practicing lawyer, I don't think I had thought about how I wanted to be in the world. And I think. I think when I started thinking about how I wanted to be in the world, that led to broader questions of thinking about kids and family and work and balance and all of that stuff. And I don't think that happened until I got married. That's interesting. That's interesting. For me, the real turning point for settling down was changing my mindset. And once I had kids, I felt like my focus shifted from me to them. You know, I had people counting on me now. What about you? Oh, for sure. By the time the girls showed up, you know, you strap that baby into the car seat after you get home from the hospital and you think, oh, my God, I have to have my stuff together. So for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, there's always that moment where you think, wait, am I actually doing this? Especially with buying your first home. It's exciting. But also. It's also a little terrifying in its own way. I remember closing day, showing up with the certified check in hand, knowing I just wiped out my entire bank account. And it was shocking watching my nest egg disappear in a single day after all that time it took to build it up. That was a real wake up call. Did you feel the same sort of push and pull mix of excitement and doubt when you bought your first place? You know, I was. Barack and I, we were excited. I mean, by then we we knew we had the resources we needed. We had made the right decision. So it was all excitement. No doubt. Right. Right. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. And that's where having the right information and support can make the leap feel a little less overwhelming. Even if you need to pivot along the way, you can feel better knowing you made the best call you could with the information you had in front of you. Progressive's Open the House initiative helps make homeownership more accessible through practical guidance, educational resources, and connections to trusted community organizations. In fact, since 2024, Progressive has committed more than $16 million toward making the dream of homeownership more achievable. And if you're ready to take the leap, Progressive may have the resources to help get you there. Learn more about Progressive's commitment to first-time homeowners. at progressive.com slash open the house, where you can learn more about common housing challenges and access helpful tools and resources to empower you in your housing journey. Who are you more like your mom or your dad? What are your parents like? What are their personality types? It's funny. I think my sister and I split the difference a little bit. Um, it's funny because when it's your own household, I think it's, it's interesting, but like, it's easier for me to look at Jason and Travis and sort of pick which traits each of them have gotten from which parent when you're so close to it that it's your own household. You're like, wow, maybe I am like my mom. It's like these epiphanies you have a long life and like. And the older you get, the more you start. Yeah. You'd start sounding just like your mother. It's like, oh my God, I'd still do that. My mom passed. But I find myself saying things and grabbing my mom. I was like, that was mom. Oh yeah. She was in here. What was discipline like in your house growing up? Or was there even need for discipline? With me? No, I was a rule follower. I don't know. I always ask, I ask my parents now, what did you do to get me? It wasn't, I wouldn't even say that it was a fear. It was just, I don't know if it was like a certain level of fear. It was just a level of respect. But I just did not want to disappoint my parents, disappoint the adults in my life that I had respect for. And really like disappointing anyone in general. I was always a rule follower. And still to this day, I am. My husband laughs at me. If there's like a stanchion, I'm like, we can't go there. That's me. So you and I, that's where we have that in common. My husband's like, just step over it. I can't step over it. There's a rope. There's a rope. It's a rope. It's literally saying, don't go there. Don't go there for a reason. And I don't want the person who put it there to get in trouble. That's what I, that's the part that I'm like, someone did their job here. Right. And I don't want to negate that job by stepping over that rope. But with me, I don't, I, there was very little need for discipline because I just, I didn't push the boundaries. I also would watch my sister and how my parents would go to, like her and my dad would go toe to toe because they were just a couple of hotheads. And so I. I would watch the two of them and I'd be like, hmm, okay, don't do that. Don't do that. Got it. Dad didn't like that. I'm not going to say that. So yeah, it was, it was, I think very little need for it. But it was there. You know, like, it's like, it wasn't always used, but I knew that the, I don't want to say threats, but like the threats of discipline were real. That my parents were going to follow through. If there was going to be a consequence, they were going to make, to make sure there was a consequence. So, if it was taking my phone, if it was, I mean, like the basic grounded, you're not allowed to go out sort of thing. There was no backsliding on it. Never. Now that you're a mom, now you have four. Yes. Right. We're outnumbered. Yes. Like, whoa, you kept doing it, huh? I know. It was like, whoa, Kylie. I know. Another one. They just kept coming. It's like, there you all are playing Yahtzee. Sniggas, right? You're just going to keep going until you get one that's… You know, what I will tell you is, is that for the longest time, we were like, yeah, we're going to have kids. We started having kids. We had our second girl, and we were like, I don't think we're going to have any boys. By the second girl, we were like, seems like we're not getting one of those. And honestly, after the third girl… I was like, it would be so inconvenient at this point. It would be so inconvenient to have to learn something else. I've had four girls I've never been peed on. I'm calling that a win. I mean, while I'm changing a diaper. Exactly. Exactly. You catch strays every so often. You catch a stray every so often. But yeah, I mean, parenting four girls is… I mean, we're in the thick of it. We have six. She'll be… In a week and a half, she'll be seven. Which means she'll be 81. That's what she… I mean, she truly believes… She's turning seven to go to high school. That's what she believes. But yeah, we… It's fun. It's… Discipline with them is interesting. It's… And that's where I'm trying to pull from my parents. I'm trying to pull the consistency. If I say that there is going to be a consequence, then there has… There has to be a consequence because they smell fear and they will absolutely wear you down. And there's more of them. Yeah. There's more of them. But I gotta… I gotta think that you being a coach, though, helps you stick to your guns more because what I… I learned that when you're coaching, that's all it is. You just have to stick to your guns longer than… Because you can always… You can always outlast a 17-year-old or a 19-year-old if you just outlast them. You just can't give in. Yes. Does that… Has that helped you with your kids? Or the other way around? It's helped me with that aspect, sort of like holding out. It's also helped me with… There's four of them. I mean, we basically have a team. So, like, at any given point, I can just, like, rally them together, do a quick head count and move on. And so, it's worked out. In a bunch of ways. I… Coaching has given me so much. I always attribute it to the fact that I had some of the most incredible coaches in my life, but specifically my college field hockey coaches. My head coach, Jackie Neary, had put together the most incredible group of women that were, like, the best example. They were mothers. They were grandmothers. They had… Graduate… Like, they had master's degrees. They had… We had one who was a GA who was in graduate school at the time. We had all of these incredible examples as, like, women in front of us that were also cheering us on on the sideline of the field and had personal relationships with us. It was such a great example of you don't have to sacrifice a family because she raised her four kids on the sideline of a field. Yeah. And also, they are an example. They are an example to us. Right. So, the idea of carrying the weight of being an example to my athletes now, I always talk about how when we had our first, it was October 2nd, we were in field hockey season. And as women, like, we have to acknowledge that challenge and then continue. Yeah. And I want you to dig in more on that, but I want to back up because there was something in the research I was doing. And tell me I didn't read this wrong. Did you coach before you went to college? Yes, I did. No one ever does that. I was telling everybody, I was like, this is the first I've ever heard of anybody coming out of college and coming out of high school and getting a coaching job before they were a college player. That's the love of the sport. I can't let it go. How did that happen? Can you describe that for us? So I played field hockey year-round from seventh grade until I graduated from high school. So in the fall, I was playing for my school. In the winter, I was playing indoor. Spring, I was playing spring league. Summer, I was doing summer camps. I had field hockey all year round and I loved it. I loved it so much. And knowing what it did for me, knowing how much I enjoyed the sport, having a fall without field hockey because I wasn't going to school for field hockey right away. I was going to community college so that I could figure out what I wanted to do, sort of get my feet set, get a little financial backing by working during that time and then go to a four-year school. And so in that time, I thought to myself, a fall without field hockey? That's not fall. I won't be able to make it. Exactly. I will not survive. How else can I fill my time during the fall? Still go to field hockey practice, but be on the other side of it. So I started with a seventh grade team, which was eye-opening because it was their first experience with field hockey. I mean, the first day, we're making sure that everyone has shin guards on and talking about how to grip the stick. And it had been a while since I started in second grade with field hockey, talking about how to grip the stick. And so it was kind of a new challenge to have to explain something that was just ingrained in me to someone else. And that was fun. And so then the next fall, I applied for the JV position at the high school because I was like- So that first time, were you paid? Yes. Oh, I was 18 years old out there coaching the seventh grade team, like getting on the bus with them. Oh, wow. I was responsible. I mean, I was dealing with like parents who like, that was going to be my next thing to talk about. How did you handle that as at such a young age? Because parents, let me tell you folks out here, coaching now, parents are different now. Yes, they are. You almost have to coach the parents. Yes. That's what the parent meetings for. More than you have to coach the kids. Yeah. I had, again, I always resort back to it. I had incredible female mentorship. So I had coaches that I had in middle school that were still working in the middle school but not coaching at the time who were there as resources to me. So I always felt like, and I think it set me up for life in recognizing that like I can be that resource for another young woman. But that's the only way I got through it. And it was also, it was the middle school I went to. It was the school district I grew up in. I had resources. I had a foundation. And people knew you. Yes. And I think they knew that I was responsible enough to take on the position. And when I went to college to play, my teammates who were my peers, a little bit younger than me, but my peers would call me mom. So like I've, I think I've always had this vibe. Mom energy. I'll take care of it. We got this. Yeah. Now staying close. I mean, you've been close to home your whole life. Yes. Did you make that decision? I know I can tell by your, the way you laid out your experience that you were thinking about finances, you know, and kids like you. Like us, our parents don't have money. Yes. And so for us, college and how it's paid for and not being burdens on our families becomes paramount. But did you ever think about just having an adventure away from the neighborhood that you grew up in? Did you think about a gap year or think about, you know, living somewhere else? No. No. I, we grew up in the house that my mom was basically raised in. It was my great-grandmother's house. We grew up in our great-aunt's house that my, same thing. Yeah, it's, it's comforting. It's comforting to know that you're where other people have been. There's a comfort level for my mom in that house. But yeah, I mean, the finances were a big thing. I knew that financially I was responsible for my schooling. For the most part, my parents were willing to help as much as they could. But like I said, you have a principal secretary and you need an electrician. And, and they really made us understand like the value of a dollar and that it required hard work to be able to create opportunities for yourself. So that was a really important thing that I felt the need to focus on. And to me, travel was for field hockey. So going away, living somewhere else, it felt, too removed. I always loved the idea of coming back. I joke around that when I start my car, it calls my mom. It's like the craziest phenomenon. But I would feel so weird if I wasn't able to go home to my parents or to be at the very least in the same time zone. Yeah. I mean, we talk more and more about that, that we've sort of become a society where it's almost expected that you move away from your family, your extended family for a job or adventure. The world's gotten bigger. But we're also learning that you can't raise your family in a vacuum. It's harder to raise four girls without any kind of family support. Around. Can you talk about that a little bit more? Because I think it's almost like we got to give permission to people to be okay staying put. I just think getting to stay put has given me the opportunity to give back to the community that raised me. So it is really important to me that my girls get to experience things that we get to sort of drive past this shop and I say, that was where mom's first job was. And you get those moments of not only nostalgia, but you're connected to your community on a deeper level. And when you have that connection, I think you feel a better responsibility, a responsibility to give back. And then that is the example that you get to set for your kids. And don't we want that from our kids to feel empowered to be able to prioritize giving back. But yeah, I think that there definitely is this idea of like, you haven't lived if you haven't lived. And I think that's one of the things that I think is really important is that you haven't lived away from your family. We couldn't do it without my parents. My parents live 15 minutes from us and they have helped us in every way imaginable. My husband and I have very busy schedules. We don't necessarily want a live-in nanny or someone who's going to be raising our kids void of us. That feels weird. So we do a lot with my parents. Every chance we get, we do things with Jason's parents. We find that those are the values that we were raised with that we want our kids to have. And not just because we tell them that, but because we live it. Now, granted, we do have a nanny. I always give a shout out because we couldn't do it without her, but we have her during regular work hours and really nothing outside of that. Well, and there's also something about your mom and dad kind of there when the nanny's there. Until you get to know the nanny. For sure. Right? Yes. We're in a unique situation as well. We weren't going to your typical online databases to find a random person from our neighborhood. Right. Sometimes in life, we take big chances making decisions. We make decisions that change our paths forever. And it can feel really daunting. For me, that was being a first-time homebuyer. The financial commitment aside, it felt like stepping into the unknown and just praying I made the right choice. Looking back, I didn't need certainty. I just needed the right support to take the leap. And that's exactly why initiatives like Progressive's Open the House matter. Progressive is helping make home ownership more accessible. By offering practical guidance, educational resources, and connections to trusted community organizations. Since 2024, Progressive has committed more than $16 million toward making the dream of home ownership more achievable. If buying your first home is something you're working toward, visit Progressive's Open the House website and explore the resources that can help you take that next step. It doesn't have to be some far-fetched, far-off, distant dream. And we all deserve that feeling of permanence and security. Learn more about Progressive's commitment to first-time homebuyers at Progressive.com slash Open the House, where you can learn more about common housing challenges and access helpful tools and resources to empower you in your housing journey. Speaking of online databases. Yes. My wife told me that she was going to be a homebuyer. She told me that you met your husband on dating app. I knew that's where you were going. Yes. On Tinder. Tinder. Mm-hmm. Did you decide? We swiped right. Because you were in college at the time. I was. Please explain. We were, my friends and I would sit around and we would just swipe. And so we would be sitting maybe anywhere from three to seven of us in the same living room of the apartment on campus. And we would be swiping, oh, did you get this person? Oh, what'd you say to that person? So when you got a match, you could start messaging. And so then we would start messaging similar things. So we were doing it in a very joking way where we were sort of like messing with the people. It was a team sport. It was a team sport. You get it? So it was, it was more for fun. So you weren't, you. I was not on there seriously at all. You weren't serious. Okay. That's the funniest part. Because look at us, four kids later. Yes. So what caused you to do that? Should you just swipe? Right. He looked big. Uh-huh. Yeah. Obviously. It's important. It is. It's, there is something about being as tall as I am my whole life. Whenever, like I saw him standing next to other people in his profile and I was like, oh, large. What height did he put on his profile? Um, his, well, he didn't put any height on there. Oh. He had a. You don't put your height on there? Oh gosh. I don't know. Back then you could if you wanted to, but his bio, it was something about having long discussions about, um, your emotions and having kids. So basically he was being sarcastic. And I, exactly. And I thought it was hilarious. I was like, oh, you're, I love a little sarcasm. So I leaned in and, um, I hit him with a pickup line and he said not that one. So I hit him with another one and it ended up, he thought that was funny enough. And then we just, we had good. We had good banter for a while. And eventually he was like, come meet us out at this bar. And by that point we had decided he looked familiar. We Googled with all the information we had and we saw his roster photo and we thought it's a catfish. Someone went online and got these pictures. And so one of my very good friends, who's sort of that friend that you call when you're like, hey, do you think we do this? And she's like, yeah, of course we do this. This would be great for the story. So you were going to, you were going to catch the catfish and catfish him. So Amber said, if it's him, funny. If it's not him, even funnier. We should go find out. So we went and it was him. It was definitely him. And he. What was your first reaction when you saw that it was him? We thought it was very funny. Yeah, there he is. And he was full lumberjack at that point. He had like. A very large beard, a man bun. He was wearing a flannel. I was like, gosh, OK, we get it. Wow. Tone it down. We get it. You are man. Where's your axe? Exactly. Paul Bunyan. But we walked in there and he was clearly inebriated. He had come from the Eagles Christmas party. OK. So he had been with his teammates. He had been with his teammates being jolly and he was quite intoxicated. So he says that he remembers me walking in the door and tasting the Shirley Temple that I ordered. And that's it. That's all he remembers. Did he black out or he just doesn't remember? No, no, 100 percent. He fell asleep on the table. OK. About 45 minutes after we got there. That's what I heard. Did you talk at all? Was there a conversation? He does not. I don't think he remembers. It was a lot of like joking around. So wait, what did you, what did you, how did you feel about that? Was that like, oh, forget it. I'm out. Well, we, Amber and I thought it was hilarious. You thought it was hilarious that he was. We thought it was funny. Because you were in college. Yes, we were in college. It was funny. Yeah, I guess so. And also, he fell asleep 45 minutes after we got there. So it gave us a really easy out. Like we were in there for maybe an hour. We got the heck out. It was great. And afterwards, I was just like, well, that was just, that's going to be a really funny story down the road. Like thinking like, that's that. Were there other players there? Was he on his own? Oh, no. He was there with a bunch of players. Friends that he's still friends with to this day. Connor Barwin was there the night we met, a teammate of Jason's for a long time, both at Cincinnati and in Philadelphia. He and his wife were there. And so it was, but it was very much like we sat down next to each other. He was doing a lot of like blank stare. As well. As drunk as drunk people usually do. And there was, there was a glassiness to his eyes. It's like, he's not here. Yeah. But he, he. put out some zingers. And I was like, oh, he's, he is as funny as he seemed when we were messaging. And after we left, we sort of like, well, that was a ridiculous thing that we just did. And also hilarious. And the next day he messaged me and was like, I need to make that up to you. That was bad. That was really bad. And I shouldn't have ruined that. And, um, the next time we met up different bar, significantly less alcohol. Um, and we talked for three hours as if no one else was there. The yelling, talking that you do in a loud bar. Yeah. And with a drunk person. Yeah. The good news is he was very close to my height. So we were not yelling up and down, you know? So yeah, he, um, we talked for three hours and after that we just kept messaging and then it became this sort of, we hung out once a week for a while. And then where would you hang out? Um, we would go, well, our first, our first date was the Mudder Museum in Philadelphia. Okay. Um, it is a museum of like, okay. A museum of medical oddities. Okay. You two are weird. Yeah. Well, he said he had never been. How does that even come up? I'd love to tell you, but I can't remember. And honestly, I think I blocked it out. Uh, but we went and it's like a bunch of like things in jars, like in formaldehyde and there's like skeletal remains. And it's a very interesting museum. I, I think it's fascinating, but the fact that he was like into it and willing to go, um, was great. And then, uh, we would often just go out to get a bite to eat. He never cooked. He doesn't cook. So he, we would go, he lived in an old city in Philadelphia, which had great walking, uh, to different restaurants of pretty much any cuisine you could think. So we would basically, I'd go, I'd park, we'd get out, we'd start walking and we'd run into a restaurant. We'd have a meal and then that would be it. But after, I would say probably six weeks of seeing each other once a week, then it was, are we allowed to hang out twice in one week? This is getting too serious. And then it transitioned to back-to-back days, which was like, I still remember being like, but I just saw him yesterday. Oh, okay. Oh, is that a problem? Are we getting in too deep? Am I being too needy? Yeah. Um, but yeah, it, it ended up, it progressed fairly quickly. I think we just really enjoyed spending time with each other. What was, what was your, um, as a tall woman, what were some of your insecurities about dating and experiences with men that, if this make, if this question makes sense? It does. Um, I always felt like, I felt a little guilty because I would see these tall women being with guys that were shorter than them. And I would always think to myself, wouldn't be me. For some reason, I always felt bad about it. I, you felt bad about thinking that. Yes. Right. I got you. Because of course I have met some lovely short men, short kings, if you will. Short kings, as we call them. Yes. Short kings. But it was never, I never had this sort of like attraction or interest in that way. Did you date a lot in college? No, not really. Yeah. Well, because it's hard to find. It is hard to find. Yes. Yeah. Um, and it's just, you know, I was, I was having fun. Like I was with, I, I had like a couple boyfriends along the way, but like nothing that was. Yeah. Never. So you, you had never been in love before? Never. Or had you? Uh, no. I think, I think like that young, you do like the young thing where you're like, oh, I'm so in love. And then you meet the person you're supposed to marry and you're like, whoa. Was I wrong? What was I doing? And at what point did, was Jason, you were like, okay, Jason, I think this is, you're the guy. Was it a slow transition or was it as a sharp right turn? I think there was a slow transition where one day it sort of hit me in the face where I thought to myself, oh, I would be devastated if you weren't in my life anymore. Yeah. That was the moment where I was like, oh, I actually don't want to do life without you. Like I want to experience life with you. What experience gave you that feeling? Or was it just a general feeling? It was just a general feeling. It was, it was, um, the way that he interacted with, like watching him interact with other people, the things that he spoke about that were important to him, the way he spoke about other people. I mean, he still is very much that way. He prioritized, he prioritized, he prioritized, he prioritizes, um, respect and making sure that other people feel respected. And it was very comforting to see someone who shared similar beliefs and morals and ethics. And, and then on top of that, we very early on got into very deep, deep conversations about our families, about what we wanted in life, what we expected for ourselves and, and what we expected for our partners. And I think that it became clear that we had very similar ideas about the way we wanted our lives to go. Um, it, it wasn't this to be, it was not this, but it has transformed the idea, the idea of what we discussed is not this, but I truly like every single day. I'm like, I, there is not another person. It's like, I, I never wanted this. I was like, that wasn't dragged us into this kicking and screaming. That wasn't the plan. I mean, I live like living down the street from my mother and my brother, you know, and, and it was never the thought of all, uh, of this. It was just kind of like, are you sure you really sure you want to help people like this? You can't, you teach or something. Give back in another way. There's so many ways to be helpful. Yes. Yeah. And there's, there's so many people out there who are looking for partners and, or having a tough time looking for partners. And this is, Mish, you can chime in on this too, since this is your show. Um, two, two, but were there any, this is what it's like having your brother right here all the time. Were, were, were, were there any, I don't want to call them deal breakers because if it was a deal breaker, you guys wouldn't have gotten together, but were there any negative things that you had to sort of overcome in, in your getting to know each other? Uh, because I think people who are trying to get into relationships now, everything, they think everything's perfect and it's not, I'm here to tell you. And I, I've messed up and there are things, you know, I always tell the story about Kelly and I having a list of things that we said, let's talk about this and make sure we're heading in the right direction. And there were a couple of things that we didn't see eye to eye on. Was there anything like that with you guys where you didn't see eye to eye and you were like, but I still love this guy. Yeah. Um, I think honestly, the, the thing that comes to mind is that I always used to explain us meeting as we met at the right time because he had the opportunity to come into the league, to have a little fun, being a football player and getting to sort of like bring that into discussion when he was courting a young woman, that sort of thing. And so, but like I was off living my life as well and, and dating people or going out. And, and so I truly believe we met at the right time. We met when we were both ready to sort of exhale and have a better understanding of where life was headed. Um, and What's the age difference between you two? Five years. So I'll always be Young. Full spring chicken. Um, yeah, but that, to me, that was really important. And like I said, when we met, he was inebriated. He was like out having fun with his teammates and they would go down to South Philly and they would be jumping on the back of the bull, the mechanical bull in, in Xfinity live. And it was all of these things where I was like, I'm so glad that you went and did that. Like the stories are hilarious. But we weren't meant to meet then. And so we met when we were supposed to meet because he was ready to sort of stop jumping on the back of the mechanical bull and it, it felt better. So he, I mean, I used to joke around, but I was dead serious. He used to send me a selfie when he would go out and we were just dating. And if his hair was down, I knew that I would say, okay, great. Talk to you tomorrow. I don't want to, we're not talking now. Remember the conversation. I mean, he was having a great time. And now granted, again, he got it out of his, like, as I couldn't tell you the last time. I mean, he's involved in a beer brand. He's, he's part owner in a beer brand. Couldn't tell you the last time he cracked a beer at home. So like, it's just like, he still has that fun spirit and he still will indulge. But like, that was something that in, when we first met, I was like, well, you're having fun, fun. You're having fun. I honestly, I loved it. Like it, it spoke to his spirit. It spoke to his like fun, loving personality. And of course, had it been a problem, like my dad comes from a world of addiction. both of his parents were alcoholics. They had, they both passed away early because of ailments due to that addiction. So I was like hyper aware of that. Had it been a problem, I would have addressed it because I loved him, but it wasn't. But I really believe it's because we met at the right time. Like he was just, he was having a good time. So you, your dad, you know, instilled you with a sense of self-confidence and self-worth. He was used to being in a house full of women. It seems like Jason, you know, a house full of boys. It's just boys. Yes. What have been some of the challenges of being married to a man who has had no experience with girls? Yeah. His mom warned me. Okay. Poor Donna. Poor Donna. She's so sweet. So sweet. And truly, I think one of the strongest women I know for making it out of there alive. She's like, I'm here. There's stories that she has told. I mean, they sound like little monsters. The boys like putting holes in the floor, driving the car through the garage door. Just stuff girls don't do. The knives, the knives in the front lawn. What do you, what? My girls have not done that. My girls actually have no interest in the knife drawer. So I don't know what was happening. But Donna, she, she did give me like a little like, yup. And I, I was prepared because I knew, I mean, I knew what I was getting. I, I feel like when we were dating, we knew each other deeply because we had so many truly like deep knowing conversations. And it, I, I think there are moments where it's like, boys, boys. But he is such a learner. He's always trying to learn. Always. No matter what. He always wants to have both sides of the argument. He wants to know it in and out. He wants to be able to make the most educated decision and opinion on any given topic. Oh, that's neat. That's neat. Yeah. We match up. Sounds like you. But he, he, in that, he has learned. So he is always learning on how to best parent. And I think he's done a really great job of not focusing on the fact that he is a girl dad and focusing more on the fact that he has four children that he wants to love and care for and lift up and give the confidence to. And then there's always that awareness of like, they're girls and I have to make sure they're strong and they're ready for the world. And, but he, he very much, like, I feel like he saw an area where he didn't have a whole bunch of experience or knowledge. And then he was like, I know how to master this. And he's doing just that. It's, it's so much fun to watch. It's like, it's, it's like watching your best friend, like step into the role that they were meant to be. Well, and he also seems like he has a thicker skin for chaos as the rule follower, you know, and the coach, you know, and just listening to how he talks about your, your daughters and parenting. You know, he kind of like loves that sass. So if you've got one, that's kind of like got a little mouth and it's like, he, it seems like he embraces that, that maybe the non-rule followers that you will clearly have because you married him and they will have some of that in him. It seems like he's ready to take that on. For sure. I, I jokingly say all the time that watching him and our oldest Wyatt go toe to toe is like watching him argue with himself. It's delightful. Is she the one who's closest to him personality wise? They are two peas in a pod. They are, it's almost as if we cloned him and then gave her long hair. It's she is, I mean, down to the eyelashes. Like I'm always like, Oh, you're so cute. I'm like, Oh, you're so cute. You got dad's eyelashes. And she's like, I don't know what that means. Just to know that mom's really serious about it. And Ellie's going to curse me one day. It's fine. But yeah, our oldest, she's, she's bullheaded. She is opinionated whether she's right or wrong. According to her, she is right. And watching Jason try to navigate such a strong personality and her, and her argument style is like watching him argue with himself. And it's funny. It's funny when I don't have, when I just get to sit back and be like, tough one, huh? It's like the mirror to you. Yes. Were you, were you guys, were you guys together during his career? Were you ever a wag? Yes. I don't picture you as a wag. I was, I was not what you were a bad wag. I was, I was a terrible wag. Oh my gosh. I was so bad. You were like naughty wag. I was, I, um, I, we were together for nine years of his career. So we were dating. Sorry. I probably should have known that. No, that's okay. Sometimes it feels like I blinked and it was, it was done. I don't just, I just don't see you as an NFL wife. And that's because I'm making assumptions about NFL. Yeah. Be careful. I'm sorry. Sorry, ladies. I've never met, I haven't met many. So I don't know. There is a, there is a culture of making it into this, um, sort of parade. That's what I've seen on TV. Yes. And it has, it has skewed the idea of what it means to be there to support your significant other or spouse. And I always felt like the term wag itself reduced the women to being defined by the role that their husband held. And that bothered me because what happens when he's done? Yeah. What? Who are we? Exactly. Exactly. Then you're a flag, a former wife and girlfriend. Exactly. But then like, what, what do you guys talk about? Cause like, I know what it looked like in our house. Jason would come home. I'd say, how was work? He'd recap maybe one or two things, but it's not like we're sitting at the dinner table talking X's and O's. So what do you talk? What do you talk? What do you talk about when he gets home? What do you talk about? I always, I always said I wanted to conduct our lives as if my husband was holding a hand. I mean, I was fortunate on the Eagles. We had lawyers, nurses, educators. We had these women who were seriously accomplished in their own right. Incredible women giving back to their community, working in difficult jobs and difficult fields. And I'm like, don't reduce yourself to get in line with him. You have your own stuff going on. And so I was always really excited about the women that we had with the Eagles. The Eagles that I was fortunate enough to be with there and just never really wanted them to be diminished. And it doesn't help that reality TV has sort of focused on anything but those women, you know, without insulting anybody else. It's sort of elevated, you know, probably not even the largest percentage of who those women are. Yes. It's this caricature of a woman married to a man with an important job. Well, the interesting part about that is, is that it then puts the focus on these women and some of them who are, they do have the time or they have the interest in signing up for those opportunities. Then it doesn't even focus on the parts that people would probably actually be interested in. Interesting. Yeah. I mean, Brittany Mahomes is a great example. Of what she's done for women's sports and women's soccer specifically in the Kansas City area is so impressive. And so, like, again, just like reducing things that women have going on is, I find it underwhelming. I would far rather hear about the stories of how they're impacting their community, what jobs they hold, what they focused on, what their interests were personally. But I mean, I get it. I was never a tailgate. I just like the whole thing. I'm just like, oh, I'll be there at the game. Literally. Oh. slightly after kickoff. But speaking of doing things that have an impact, can you talk a little bit about the work you're doing with the Eagles Foundation for Autism and how you got interested in that? Yeah, I am. I'm so lucky that the stars aligned on that. Jeffrey Lurie, the owner of the Eagles, he has a brother with autism. And so he was sort of reimagining the philanthropic effort of the Philadelphia Eagles 10 years ago now and trying to figure out how to leave a legacy, not only with the city of Philadelphia, but just as wide of an impact as he could make. And he chose something that he had a personal connection to and felt passionate about. And I think that that always is the best way to do that. And I think that that is the best way to do that. Because then you find other people who align with you. You find other people who feel that same passion or that same connection. And then they sort of get in, right? And they join the crusade and it's exciting and people feel that enthusiasm. And that's exactly what's happened with the Eagles Autism Foundation. So they have an outstanding executive director there, Ryan Hammond, who is one of my closest friends, who has absolutely put Jeffrey's vision, into place. Every single dollar raised by the Eagles Autism Foundation is donated directly back to the autism community through programs and research. And then research that they are funding is chosen through a very selective process. So you know that every dollar donated is getting put back in a meaningful way. How do you balance? I know you get this question a lot, but I mean, I just can't help but hearing what you got going on, yeah. You got a hit podcast. You've got four girls. You're still coaching. Yes. I have to get back for practices after. Are you kidding me? No. Did you drive or take the train? We drove. Yeah, because somebody said, yeah, Kylie drove up herself in a Jeep. And then we were like, did she drive here? I only drove for the last half hour because it was a lot of stop and start. And I was like, I think I'm getting carsick. Let's switch. But we were like three hours in at that point. Oh my God. So how do you balance it all? And do you feel famous? No. Okay. Not even a little bit. Even with not gonna lie, it doesn't make you feel famous. No. I just always have these moments of, this is crazy. Like those like, wow, this is. And I used to talk about it by saying, places Kylie has no business being. And I said it in a very joking way of like, yes, of course, I'm here for a reason. But also, can you believe I'm here? It's one of those where you're like, have you seen what I'm doing? I still do that. It's, I think that it's a very grounding practice. And I'm going to keep it up because I don't think I will ever come to a point of famous. That doesn't, it doesn't register with me. Do people recognize you? Recognize you? Do they stop you? In places that I'm expected to be. So at an Eagles game, at the stadium for a concert, sometimes, sometimes randomly in the grocery store. But everyone who stops me, it's always for a very specific reason. We still live in the community that I grew up in. So sometimes it's, oh my, I know the girl you played college field. So sometimes it's that. Yeah. But a lot of times it's, thank you so much for the work you do for the autism community. And like, what better way to spark up a conversation with someone? So I feel really fortunate that I get to have this platform. I don't necessarily, necessarily know that I would call it fame, but I really appreciate having the platform solely because if we need to talk about things, let's talk about things that are important and meaningful. Yeah. Well, we try to offer some advice to our listeners and we have a listener question. And today it's from Joe and I think he's from California. And Itzy, you're going to be reading it today. This is Joe, who's 28 in Los Angeles. Hi, Mrs. Obama and Craig. Has there been a moment where taking a chance felt terrifying, but ended up changing the trajectory of your life? How did you know it was worth the risk? You want to go first or you want some time? If you need some time, I'm the expert in this one. Okay. You tell me. Well, I obviously left corporate America to go into coaching. And I will tell you at the time, it felt like the right thing to do. And it's interesting, you talked about when you met Jason, it felt like the right time. And timing is so important because I wanted to go into coaching when I got done playing. But I listened to the, I listened, didn't listen to myself. I listened to other people. And you got this Princeton degree and you got to go do other things. And I went to work and life happens. And I got the opportunity to go coach. And I felt like it was the right thing to do. And once I got the opportunity to go coach, I felt like it was the right thing to do. And once again, everybody was shocked and trying to convince me not to do it. And then you and I talked about it. And it, listen, Joe, take the pivot, make the pivot and grab what you want to do. Because you're not going to, we don't have much time. And I sound like I'm an old man because I am an old man. You don't have much time. And I was afforded an opportunity to do something that was transformational, not only for me, but for the student athletes I got to coach. And I never had that feeling before I started coaching. And I almost didn't do it because it wasn't the right time, or it wasn't the right money, or it wasn't the right staff, or it wasn't the right coach. And I was just a catcher. And. Did you feel, but you said you weren't scared. I wasn't scared because my dads had always said, if you find something that you love doing, you will never work a day in your life. And I knew I was going to love doing that because I was coaching on the side a little bit. So it wasn't sort of a complete clean break, but I wasn't doing it for a living. And. And I remember the partners at my firm were like, are you. How much money are you going to be making as an assistant coach? And it didn't even matter. It didn't even matter. But it is so important for all of us, even if you don't get an opportunity to do the thing that you love as a vocation, you should at least try it so you know what you're missing. Because I cannot tell you, outside of sitting here next to my sister having fun, coaching was the best vocation I've got to do. And I've gotten to do a lot of cool things. When I've faced a scary situation, and there've been a lot of them, things that have come my way that I've been like, oh my God, I can't do that. Or why, you know, leaving corporate law. And leaving a big salary when I still had a bunch of college debt, college and law school debt, and working for the city, or working with a nonprofit, and doing something that wasn't lucrative. With that kind of debt, that was scary. Saying yes to my husband's run to the White House, running a nonprofit organization when I was like 28 years old. All those things were scary. But I've learned over time to. That I need to ask myself, well, what am I actually afraid of? I learned to analyze my fear first without just succumbing to it. Because fear, there may be a good reason to listen to the fear and take a step back. But if it's only about your comfort, or something that you can handle, just not wanting to fail, or, you know, something that isn't life-threatening, you should note that. You should note that in your mind and then analyze what it is you're able to kind of handle. Because a lot of us, many of us were able to handle a lot more stress and uncertainty than we think. We do it without it being obvious. I think a lot of times we let fear stop us from doing things that are really important and can be a point of growth. So I would say, figure out what. making you hesitant first and figure out whether that's a real fear that you need to address. And then if it isn't, if it's just something in the back of your mind, then go for it. What about you? I think that in my choices and in my adult life, I've had to sort of decide whether or not do I feed that thought? Do I feed that fear? Is there a reason that it's there? Is there something that's telling me that that's a bad idea? Whenever I hear something that was an experience that you stepped into, that you had fear into, I always go back to when I clicked the car seat in, when we were taking our first home and I turned around and the nurses were gone. And I was like, oh no, it's just me and her? You want me to take care of it? Panic. Sheer panic. That's always, that's always. Panic and sadness. Oh. Because I felt bad for this beautiful baby. Because I like, I loved you and you have me? I'm so unexperienced and you don't even know. Yeah, that was definitely, but again, that moment of like, that to me is like healthy fear. Because that fear fuels you. You want to learn. You want to do better. You want to make sure that you come and show up for that little human being as best as you can. When it came to starting the podcast, I had a similar, similar feeling of the fear of the unknown, what's about to happen. And then you sort of figure out what you can stand firm in, right? So I knew that I had a communications degree. I knew that I had a deep understanding of radio and podcasting. I knew that I understood the marketing that goes into the backside of those types of things. So even though I didn't know how it was going to land, I knew that I could firmly stand in my education, how I was trained. And at the very least, I could. I could provide a quality product for the amount of time that sponsors would show up. But those are the types of things that you can't feed that fear of the unknown. I took the moment to say, I am trained in this. And even if it's not something that I've worked in since I got my degree, I will find a way to dig those memories out of the depths of my brain and figure it out. I think that that's something that I found a lot of peace in and helped me, again, stand firm in that. And we talk about failure a lot. You know, I've gotten to the point now where you try so many things. That means you have also failed at some things. And you realize that there is, you know, that failure is, it's okay. You know, a lot of times you're afraid of failing. And what I've learned over time is that you have to get used to that, too. Yes. You want to build a muscle for failing so that that's not the reason you don't try. This was so fun. This was so much fun. Thank you. I'm going to drive back home to coach. Yeah, we can't, we can't, yeah, you got to get back. After this, it's like in the Jeep. Yeah. Here it comes. Yeah. No, it's amazing to be with you. I'm glad we got this time together. I know. We're neighbors. We're neighbors. Right? Philly, D.C., same place. You know, that's how I talk up Philly. I'm like, it's so close to D.C. You can go D.C. or New York. It's right there. Or Central. It's fine. It's one stop on the train. And we're friendly. Well, you went a little too far on that one, Kylie. Right. Leave it believable. Got it. Got to keep it, keep it real. Thanks for coming to IMO. Thank you. Hopefully our IMO listeners who don't know, I'm not going to lie, fall in love with you. The way I have and we have. You're a good kid. Thank you. Thanks again to our friends at Progressive Insurance for sponsoring this episode. For more information, visit progressive.com slash open the house. Your body is always changing. And those changes can feel like a lot to navigate alone. Weight that won't budge, skin that starts to show signs of change, hair loss, mood swings. Midi Health gets it. Because Midi was built for exactly this. 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