‘Ace Ventura: Pet Detective’ With Bill Simmons, Zach Lowe, and Craig Horlbeck

The rewatchables brought to you by the Ringer podcast network where you can find the Ringer fantasy football show Craig rollback. You're also at the end of the town with Matt Bellany and you're on this podcast is what you produce it. Everyone's want to bring you in as a host. And it's a big day. It's that close first rewatchables ever. What's happening? Back low you can find on the Zacklow show we call it a Zacklow show now you're calling the Z low show. It's just short for got to say my character is on social media, you know, yeah, which is also by the way on Netflix. It is. And you're you do Metz corners that the people know you for basketball and Metz corner they don't know you for the movies. It's a lot of pressure for you. It's good start now. I've got a lot of takes on pop culture that I've been waiting to unleash on various Ringer shows. Back low sends me a list of the movies you want to do. Some of them we're not surprising and then second at the top Ace Ventura and I was like, wow, I'm going to file that one away Ace Ventura is next. Why formative, I mean, I was I think 16 when it came out maybe 15 formative to my comedic sensibilities has some extremely problematic elements that 16 year old me was not prepared to grapple with at the time, but just I became a Jim Carrey super fan. I was already a Jim Carrey super fan from in living color, but this it's just the weirdest most for it there's no way this movie should ever been made. There's no way it should work. There's just no way it should even exist in the world. And it's awesome Craig you're younger. Yeah, I probably saw it when I was 9, 10 years old. I guess so in the early 2000s. But Kerry was right in that range with like Farley, Sandler, Mike Myers, as all these guys who just committed to the bit. Yeah. And they were I mean, and Kerry in particular is like a human cartoon. I mean, his face has made a rubber and the commitment to the bit is just something that has has completely aged out and nobody does what he's doing anymore. You just like wind him up and watch him go like I don't even know if the movie's good, but you just sit back and you watch Jim Carrey do this. And when you when you watch other things, you know, about him in the 90s and stuff like that you realize that he's not really doing a character ace of interest is Jim Carrey. Yeah. It's like stand up from him in the early 90s. And he does he walks out and he goes, good evening ladies and gentlemen, my name is Jim Carrey. And how are you this evening? All righty then. And that was him three years before. He just he this is him like 10 years before. Can I give you my Jim Carrey? So Zach and I we've had this burning bid. I don't know where it started. It started my calm or didn't podcast we did about islands and stock and it started with Deon waiters. I think Deon waiters is ground zero for the island slash. You're right. And now so people always ask or in order to the rewatchables, who's Deon waiters? Because we have the Deon waiters word for biggest heat check. It started because Zach and I felt like we were the only two people that like Deon waiters. And we started waiters island. It got to the point where I have a waiters island t-shirt. So do I. It's red. Somebody gave it to us. Yeah. It's got like Gilligan's Island font. They clearly ripped off the Gilligan's Island font. So when I was a kid in the 80s, I would I just would like people and would not understand why they didn't become more famous. And most of those people I knew from either side alive David Letterman show or like weird HBO shows. I saw Jim Carrey. I'm not doing the I saw I claim Jim Carrey. I just always like Jim Carrey because it started. He did this comedy story in a verse or show in 1983. You can find out on YouTube 11th annual comedy store show and he came on. I know he was and he just started doing impressions and he did Leonid Brezhnev. He did Clint Eastwood. And it was just like what is this guy doing? He just did a Leonid Brezhnev in person. He did all these things. But the best one he did was Michael Landon smiling. And he's like, here's an impression of Michael Landon smiling. He turns away and he comes back and he just kind of does it. And I was just like, this is, who is this guy? This is amazing. So then he was on Letterman a year later, saw that too. He was in a movie called Once Bitten, which is a vampire movie of Lauren Hutton. And he was like, hey, it's the guy who did the Michael Landon smiling. I hope this is going to work out for him. He didn't seem again for five years, comes back in in love and color. And he's the white guy. And then he comes the biggest star on that show. He's in comic relief a couple of times, but it never really happens for him. And then they finally throw him a bone with this movie. And I think he was like, this is my one chance. I'm fucking making this happen. And it turns out he is one of the great. I mean, there's other stuff. He got rejected from us and out twice, Craig. In 1986 and the second time Lauren was doing the casting, it was the Dana Carvey, it was Phil Hartman. And he wanted to be on the show and he got rejected. And I'm pretty sure I've seen like the audition tape from that, and it's legitimately very funny. It's one of those, some of those you watch, you're like, yeah, I didn't bring the right stuff that day. I understand why they said, no, that one you're like, that was like right in front of their face. And they miss it. Yeah. Lauren was always like weird about the, the mugging. And never really had like the mugging over the top characters are almost always better as the guest host. Yeah. He's almost, Carrie's almost too big for SNL. I wonder how he would have operated in like a normal sketch playing the boyfriend, if he could even do that. He would have overpowered it. Well, the irony is, I think that the conversation of what was the greatest SNL ever, I actually think he hosted the best one ever. And I think the guest made a bends or the musical guest was SoundGarden, I want to say. But he was on and was Will Ferrell's first year and they just went magic and bird for like an hour and a half. The hot tub lifeguard, the jacuzzi lifeguard, just like swimmer, you are too far away. Well, he also did the night of the Roxbury sketch. That's right. Oh, yeah. Of course. And they did the, and that was like, had become a thing. And even that movement is kind of Ace Ventura, right? And so he did it. And his head is just going over here and there like, he was just crazy. So anyway, the reason we bring all this up is because this guy goes from like, I like that guy. And then I'm limeling color like, oh, I wonder if anything. And then all of a sudden, 1994 is one of the great years in the history of movies. Which he does what he does this, the mask and dumb and dumb are all come out in the same year. Ace Ventura comes out February 17th. The mask comes out July, July is Ventura's 17th worldwide that year. The mask is ninth. Mask comes out and hits. Now it's like Jim Carrey is now the future of comedy, dumb and dumb or December. That's the biggest one of all of them sixth. And I believe the fairly brothers who did dumb and dumb are cast him after seeing Ace Ventura. Yes. Which happened in only like a 10, 11 month span from what he was doing. He's still on in living color for half of the year because the show ends in May. So he has the three biggest comedy movies of the year. And he's on the show that I think a lot of people loved and lasted for you. It really left because Ken and I every way and so forth. He made almost 700 million in those three movies with the box office gross. And he was the second highest grossing box office star in eight to ninety four. And at the start of the air was the white guy in in living color. Like there's never been a year like that that I can remember in my half fast internet research. I think it was a ringer story about it, but it was either ringer or vulture. He was paid less than half a million dollars for Ace Ventura. Like that. I have it. 350 for Ace. 450 for mask. Yeah. Seven million for dumb and dumb or 10 million for Ace 2 and then 20 million for the cable and the one that broke Hollywood, everyone was like, oh my god, this is not right of this guy makes faces and he's getting Tom Cruise money. What's going on? Well, you almost kind of understand what he wasn't paid that much for Ace Ventura because the movie is a crazy risk. The character that he's playing in the script and what it is. He even says in the research, like when you listen to him talk about the movie and when they were making this movie, he was like, I knew this was either going to be something that people really went for. It was going to completely ruin me. Right. And you can kind of tell the production company who made this movie Morgan Creek Productions, the CEO Jim Robinson said he said, make a film that nobody my age gets and wasn't this movie completely panned like Ebert and all these guys, the critics hated this movie. People hated it. I can't even imagine if I was 16, my dad was like early 50s. I can't even imagine him tolerating this movie at that age for five minutes. He wouldn't even not not only would he have not tolerated it, he would have not tolerated it being on in our house. So I can't, this is not even a loud. It's really apex mountain for you had to have seen this movie within a certain age range and if you didn't, there's no way it would work. But if you saw it between like 10 and 18, it's with you for life, but you can't bring anyone into it now. So I tried with my son, who's 18. He was like, this movie is terrible. But Jim Carey is hilarious. Okay. And he was like, I get why they made it. I get why I was successful and I enjoyed it. And I was like, you're going to keep watching it 10 times. He's like, yeah, probably. Yeah, I mean, I don't even know what PG 13 means anymore, but this movie was made for 13 year old boys. Yeah. Carey is a good blend of it. There's adult humor in the movie and there's, there's kid humor. And it feels like now those things are kind of bifurcated where you can only have one of the other, but this movie, I mean, there are a lot of references. I'll get into this later that I don't that I definitely didn't understand when I was a kid that I do now. There's sexual innuendos and things like that. And then it's also just like him kicking around a package and it's hilarious. Yeah. I had forgotten about the opening scene and kicking around the package and because I had not seen a movie before research for this and I'm going to say eight to 10 years. I had not even been, but then you've been on for more than five minutes continuously in my life. And I completely forgot about that scene. And it's like an extended like walk and tracking shot kind of thing. I'm like, and he says nothing and he's both, he's immediately athletic, graceful and just wildly out there like from, from shot one of the movie. It's like, wait, they're doing, it's just two minutes of this guy kicking a package. Why is this happening? And I didn't even remember why it was happening like, why is he intentionally damaging this package? What is going on here? Like I've forgotten. Yeah. And the guy has to spend time filling out the form, so he can't stop the dog. He can't stop the dog. Yeah. He can't stop the dog, right? Adam Sandler, that was his first movie. Mike Meier said, so I married an axe murderer, which we did, which is a little more advanced, I think, than this movie. But I don't think I had dirty work, remember? It's just letting somebody cook. Yeah, just like, just be funny. Do the stuff you do. We'll come up with some premise around it and just go nuts. It seems like he's taking off on SNL now. In 1993, they just would have been like, just do a movie where you live with your family and do Marcelo Hernandez things and here's a dumb premise. It's kind of gone. Yeah, and I don't know if Marcelo, he would have to have a character that was big enough and popular enough to even warrant that. I mean, he did like the one where he's there at the like, Bachelorette party and he's just getting cheated on or whatever. Yeah, Domingo. Yeah. And in 1993, they would have made a Domingo movie. They did it. We might be speaking into existence right now, like someone is going to listen to this and be like, that's okay. That's not about like, that's bankable. Well, one of the things I think everyone in Hollywood is trying to figure out right now is what happened in the comedy, can we bring it back? Right? Because horror movies have just been unassailable since the early 70s, action movies come and go, franchises. But these comedies that are these iconic 90s and 2000 comedies, they just, yeah, they're going to exist in the same way. And now they kind of end up on streamers just to start out with or they become TV shows. Like Craig loves the studio. Yeah. Maybe in the 90s, the studio is just a TV show, is a movie, it's a 90 minute movie. It's a bummer because that, you know, comedies used to make good money, not huge money, but good money. And now people just want to hit home runs and not doubles. Yeah. And so comedies now live on streaming services and it stinks because if you ever, once in a while, get to see a comedy in theater still, like I saw the new naked gun and a pack theater, it was such a better experience and it completely shapes your opinion of a movie. If you're watching a loan on your couch versus someone and other people, because when everybody else is laughing, you feel comfortable to laugh. And when you're alone, it just doesn't hit the same. Every comedy you guys just named from, from Tommy Boyd to, so I married an ax murderer to, I saw all of them in the theater at naked, original naked gun, I saw in the theater, all time or from me. I think people want to see comedies in the theater anymore because tickets are expensive. Yeah. It's a whole process. It's premium. And you just wait until it's on like, whatever on a streamer. Yeah. Like you go to see Top Gun Maverick because it's a spectacle. You don't need to see a comedy in theaters, but I would argue when you go and you do see a really funny movie in theaters, you leave being fulfilled and it's worth it. Do people want to see a horror movie in the theaters because they like the collective experience of we're all scared because I love that. I love being scared. I'm not a big theater girl anymore, but I used to love going to scary movies in a theater. So why does it not translate to laughing? Like, what's the difference between those two sensations that one lens itself more to collect the question? It's a great question. I just think that theatrical experience for horror, the big screen, like just the ability to have the sound and the image being so big and like looming over you, I think delivers that fear in a way that at home can't and people think, oh, I can laugh at home. What's the difference? I think there's another piece. No, no, you put me in a quiet house with scary movie on that, that's pretty scary. Well, you don't, you're not allowed to watch horror movies in your house. Not at the little house. Not unless my wife is on a trip. Mrs. Lo is hardcore that what are the cross-offs for you or for others gruesome violence, gruesome violence and horror. Yeah, pretty much just it just, yeah, like nasty tension, stuff like that. Also the risk of doing this movie if you're Jim Carey, it's so vulnerable. To be doing these characters and I really think that the internet now and just the way criticism works, somebody would get destroyed if they tried to do a movie like this and somebody did a character like this. It is so out there and putting yourself out there. Yeah. Well, there's, but there's one other piece to this though, I hesitate to bring up. Like we, Zach specialty is basketball. Yes. He watches a lot of basketball, yeah. And sometimes in basketball, types of players just come and go, right? Like we used to have centers with awesome post-op moves and then they just kind of went away. I guess my question is, do we just not have funny people that can carry movies like this anymore? Jim Carey toiled away for 12 years doing stand-up, being in sketch shows, like putting in the time. And now you have, like not to bring up Marcel Hernandez again, but we just brought him up for it. He was on SNL for two years, probably getting off for a step. He didn't toil away in the same way, like crafting our persona and trying to figure out all these ways to attack comedy. And maybe these people just don't exist or maybe it's just easier to be a TikTok YouTube. Just do comedy that way and versus like thinking about it in a movie sense. I don't know. I don't know the answers. But also, I don't know if the upside is there. If you're Marcelo, it probably feels impossible to have your own dumb and dumb or race venture or happy humor because those movies don't exist. They don't succeed in theaters. They don't make that much money. So why would he want to put himself out there and potentially put out a flop or something that lands on a streaming channel? He'd rather have like a Netflix comedy. Yeah. Well, Shane Gillis is a good example, right? Shane Gillis, in the 90s, would have, if you'd time machine him, he would have made like a dirty work or like a, yeah, this kind of movie. Now he does tires on Netflix. Well, all of these movies that we're talking about in particularly the Carrie movies are on some level, on every level, completely absurd. Like the situation is absurd, the character, they don't exist in the real world. You know, a lot of like the great comedic people of the last 15 or 20 years have gone on and made like really funny movies, but they all exist in like our actual reality. None of them are like trying to lean into this absurd space. And so there's no, they're not like this crazy character drives the movie, but like you can go Tina Fey, Amy Polar, welfare, they've all had like these great movies, but none of them are quite this like absurd, except Zoolander I think would be a good example of what I'm talking about. Just a completely absurd thing that does not really exist in Zoolander, too, didn't work. Well, Zoolander was like 2001. So it was still kind of in that like spiritually, and I need to move on. Long ago, wow. I think so. Not only 2001, it was like two weeks after 9/11. Oh, really? It was the first, hey America, it's okay to laugh. Come see Zoolander and it was, it kind of wasn't okay yet. Yeah. Farrell, I feel like was the bridge where he could still kind of do the wonky characters the Taladek nature increments, but then after him, we went into the Judd Appetal era, which was more, that's a great call. That's that's a person. If those movies are the person, if they're funny, like I like them, I adore them, but they're much more grounded. It's Craig's. That's his wheelhouse. Yeah. But I mean, but these are, the Appetal movies are a good example. Those guys were all fucking awesome one of a kind of stars that are in those movies. Like even Ben and I watched a 40 year old Virgin last week, Jonah Hills in there, it's, he's like, it seems like he's like 11 years old, he's selling the boots. He's buying boots. He probably wants to kill himself when he sees the video, he's just like, he's like, just like, so he's like 400 pounds and he looks like he's 10. But like he populated Rogan's in that movie, Paul runs in that movie, Carels in that movie. Like you think of, we just had a lot of characters back then. And that's, I mean, I'm doing this off the top, but this is not my realm, like it is yours, but that's like the Carell. All right. This is my shot. I'm a super star. He got it from Macerman. And they saw him as Brick Tamlin. It's similar of like, all right, like this is kind of a strange movie. You're going to play a 40 year old Virgin who's a weirdo and has dolls at his house and like, it gets, it's just hair shaved off. Like another movie that really shouldn't have worked as well as it did. He's another example though. He tore it away forever. Yeah. And was in sketch comedy, all kinds of stuff. Colbert was another one that was put in a lot of time. There's another commonality between Carrie and Carrell and some of the other people you just mentioned. Sneaky handsome. Like there's, there's like, there's like a leading man, like, handsomeness hidden under the goof. Like, Steve Carrell is just like straight up like hot dude now, like a hot old guy now. Jim Carrell is like. Steve Carrell is watching this friend. They're like, fuck yeah. Yeah. The basketball guy loves me. Yeah. Somewhere in the middle of the office, everyone around Steve Carrell. Like season three of the office. Everyone around that show and Steve Carrell made a collective decision. We're glamming you up a little bit, right? Carrell got his hair done. Yeah. There's something that happened, right? Yeah. Season two. Yeah. Something happened. I didn't want to just say it. It's so bald like that. No pun intended. But something happened. He got fitter. So it was clear like you're becoming a real star now. Yeah. I got to talk about 94, which is in the running for best movie or the last 40 quickly. And people remember from the Pulp Fiction Forest gum show that I'm still mad about. Yeah. So people remember the Oscars for it. There's a whole bunch of apex breakout crazy stuff. I'm just going to run through this quickly. Pulp fiction, Tarantino Breakout, Sam Jackson, Travolta, Forest Cump, Hanks Apex, Shawshank becomes Shawshank, but also Morgan Freeman is now here, does seven the next year. True lies, Schwarzenegger's come back. Lanking probably the felt like the biggest original Disney movie that they made. Like it was just perfectly marketed. It had the Elton John song. It was a monster. It was kind of Disney where you're like, "Oh, this is peak of their powers." Speed. Not only they cano Reeves Breakout, but they pushed up the summer movie schedule for it. They said, "Fuck it. Let's start it in May." And it completely reinvented that. Fantastic theater experience. Great. And as my wife knows, it's still not over for me and sonorable, like all these years later. Well, I'm glad you see that's how I have Tiffany Ambrithese and with my wife. It's just like, "Look, man, I met her before I knew you." And it's just fun. Disclosure. Michael Doug was first to be more. We did that movie, but that was like two big movie stars pitted against each other with a very important topic. Santa Claus, the Tim Allen Apex. Love it. Saw it just recently because my daughter's going through all the classic holiday movies. I watched it every year. It would be on the rewatch, it was at some point. Clear and present danger. Just a Harrison Ford movie in his prime. Interview of the vampire. Cruising pit together. Legends of the fall. A second pit movie. Hoop dreams. Best sports movie doc ever. Come on. Quisho. Redford did that one. Theater. Reality bites. The peak of Gen X and Ethan Hawke. Four weddings in a funeral. Hugh Grant's Breakout. Blue chips and above the rim. Maybe the best basketball movie combo year we've had, those two. And then we also had Little Big League, Mighty Ducks 2, and Angels in the Outfield for kids movies. And there's a bunch more stuff, but it's just like, I look at 94 and I'm just like, we kind of had it all going. Yeah. I don't know how we get back. We didn't know what we had. And Jim Carrey busting out and having the year of Jim Carrey. How's Mighty Ducks, too? Because I just saw Mighty Ducks for the first time in my life. Last weekend, we had a family new movie night. My daughter loves kids sports movies. And Mighty Ducks like didn't know Joshua Jackson was involved at all. He's done. He's heavily involved. I enjoyed it. Mighty Ducks are great movies. I haven't seen them in a while. One and two. Maybe even three. Well, there's there's we haven't done either of these yet. There's a camp. D to the D2 is the one. I'm excited. It's like Terminator 1 versus Terminator 2 kind of thing. I'm Terminator 1. I'm team one. Yeah. Some people like T2 is one of the greatest sets where we go. Ace Ventura. The cinematographer said the stuff he was doing was so over the top. I truly thought this was going to be the biggest piece of shit ever. He added a shitload of improv stuff, including the ass talking scene, which is in the running for funniest single scene. He's ever done. Apparently happened in live in color because Kenan every why Kenan every wayans kept rejecting his sketches. So finally, one day he got up and pitched a sketch with his ass. And Kenan every wayans got pissed and they must have had a fist fight. This is an actual story. And then Kerry said on inside the actor studio that he based Ace Ventura on a smart bird. He thought about him how he would move like an actual animal. And the clothing he picked, the walk was bird like. He's kind of dressed like a pirate. And I don't really know why I was like a parent, a parent. Yeah. And that was kind of what he was going for. You just have to be insane. Yeah. Even like come up with all that stuff. You just have to have a screw loose in a good way. It really sounded like they knew this could be a piece of shit. And they were like, we don't care. This is our humor. We're going for it. Yeah. Because the director as well, who was like a young joke writer, they both went in being like, this could completely ruin our careers. And their goal was to make something that was so over the top and potentially unappealing to some people. Which is insane now. Like now you have to make something that's broad enough for everybody. Them going in saying, and have the audience might fucking hate this. It's crazy. Maybe we should do that. You create a character that's hard into advanced metrics for breaking down basketball. And you're just doing voices and crazy shit. Work on this. I'll workshop it. Yeah. When I was reading all these things, we read a lot of the same stuff. It sounds like I did have a moment where I was like, what are we like day 21 on set as if there's a contingent of the people in the crew and the cast, which is like this fucking guy. This is just really going to places where I didn't expect. He's in the two two in reverse and they're like, I don't know about that. Should I get out of this? Like, is it too late for me to get out of this now? Well, it seems like there's only a couple comedy actors ever that if you just let them loose and let them explore the studio space that we're going to explore every like Robin Williams, I think, was like this too. Yeah. They're like, Hey, we wrote this scene where can you just like dead poet's side? Can you just add live in front of the class for a couple of minutes? He's like, great. Yeah. And it's just doing it for two hours. You got it. I think there was a sense even on set that they this was like, we're watching a freak. Like we this is what it's like when Binyama. I don't know what I'm watching, but there's nobody who can replicate this. Well, the weird thing about him is women definitely dig him and duck him and like, he ends up dating Lauren Holley who's he married and dumb and dumb and they end up together. But then Courtney Cox, there was like, she was on stern four years ago. And he was like, do what do you think of Jim Carrey? Like, thinking she'd be like, oh, he was so fucking annoying. And he and she was like, I kind of had a crush on him back then. I really kind of dug him. One of my it wasn't going to be a nitpick. It was going to be a probably an answerable question was like, how did she pretend her character to be into this psychopath basically? And there are so many scenes where he's doing his weird thing and she's looking at him with her gotten the blue eyes. Yeah, back in the legend. You're like, there's no way this woman would be into him. And then you find out that on set, she was falling for him while he was doing this characters. You're like, all right. I guess it is real. You guys might not like some of the choices that made for her categories later. But I can't wait. I mean, she did marry David Arquette. She might have just like goofball guys. If we say one slanderers word against Courtney Cox, I'll storm out of this set. I'm ready to do it right now. Not say slanderers stuff. Another one I had stuck in Zach Courtney Cox. Let me take you back to 1984. We're just doing the we're just going down the whole path now. Okay. She's just in the dancing in the dark video of Springsteen. Didn't know that. Wow. See? Look at that. Landmark. Landmark. It's a landmark thing. Didn't know that for for men. You didn't know that. No. Springsteen who's like, you come from down in the valley. He's doing all those songs. Comes out and born the USA. And the first song is Dancing in the Dark. It's just a pop song. And the video is him on him on stage. And he's doing this weird dance. And it's just like, I don't even know how to do it. It would be like if Patrick Mahomes just completely changed his look one day. And it was just a completely different person. Deep voice. All of a sudden. Yeah. And he was just like dressed like a motorcyclist or something. And he were like, what's going on with Patrick Mahomes? Why is he in all leather? Bruce comes out. He's like trying to be a pop star. And there's this girl dancing in the video. And you keep singer. And then he points through and he goes, Hey, baby. And brings her on the stage and they dance. And it became a phenomenon. Who is this girl? And it was Courtney Cox, which leads to her being on family ties. And an 18 episode run as Alex P. Keaton's girlfriend played by Michael J. Fox. Every guy at my age was in love with her. So I'm not taking credit. It was everybody. She tore it away for six years, like just in bad movies. It never happened for her. And then it finally happened. She avoided it happened. Here's what happens. Ace Ventura. She's in Seinfeld during the break at the real breakout. Like Seinfeld becoming replacing Jerry's girlfriend. She's the Jerry's girlfriend who pretends they're married. So she can get the drag cleaning discount. He has to break up with her. You could spend an hour talking about people who have cameoed in Seinfeld. She probably is the most important one. And here's why they're making friends. Right. They're like this Courtney Cox who's in Ace Ventura and who is in that Seinfeld episode. Maybe we build friends around her and they make friends and it's like a vehicle for her basically. Then it becomes friends. So this movie paves the way to friends. She kind of important. Has never looked better and ushered me into adulthood in this film. I say to my son Ben, I was like, I don't know if it gets better. I think we might have peaked. Also, I think Jennifer Aniston. Just the cutest of the possible key. You could never have put a cuter actress into a movie. I think Jennifer Aniston almost overshadowed her. Maybe not market corrected her. But Jennifer Aniston and her being in friends, you almost like couldn't focus on both. And Aniston may be one out. But when you Courtney Cox in this movie, we always joke, I'm a warrior's fan. And we say like the only player who could get hotter than Steph was Clay. I actually think Courtney Cox in the right moment can put up 37 in a quarter. And that's what she does in this movie. So you think she's Clay. This is interesting. I'm so glad Zach's here for this. Like she's the only one where I'm like, you know what? There are moments. It is her over at Jennifer Aniston. In this movie, 37 in the third quarter. So this is such a great topic because when Aniston's on friends, she becomes the breakout star friends and every guy is in love with her. Including me and me too. I mean, they're both the most beautiful women in the world. I think I was exactly the same age. What the Aniston piece was like you, everybody in America no matter where you lived and how much money you made, you're like, I feel like I could talk myself into like getting a date with her. I just met her. Yeah. - She was like very accessible. - Never crossed my mind for one second. You thought Jennifer instant was accessible? - I think, I thought she was accessible, hot. - Like if you ran into Jennifer. - Like I was like, she would like my friends. - Yeah. - She was like one of those. - I think it's because she's not-- - None of this ever crossed my mind. - Quarty Cox was not accessible. She was just like, I wouldn't be able to talk. - I also think the nature of being on a TV show versus being a movie star made that person feel more attainable. - Like, oh, I watch her every week. She's in an apartment. - She would love us. - Yeah. - She would love to watch me play video games. - She would not have loved any of this. - She's looking for a job. - She would have walked out quickly. - She's been russed, I'm barely employed. - I'm not sure if you're russed. - You're just calling your shot, your heat checks. - I mean, it's MJ versus LeBron. Cox and Aniston in '94. - It is. - It's anecdotal. - I never thought about this before. What an incredible marketing question that was. - Why are we putting them against each other? - No, I don't want any Cox. - They're friends. - I want to lift them both up and champion both of them. - That's why Clay and Steph. - Exactly. - Who's Dreymond? - Lisa Kudrow. - Lisa Kudrow. - I was gonna go mad, LeBronk. I don't know, just like a little bit bigger hit people and hit people. - Honestly, probably Matthew Perry, 'cause it was a little bit more of a roller coaster out with him. And that's the Dreymond experience. - I don't mean to put Jennifer Aniston down in any way because she is also one of the most beautiful women who's ever existed. But I just want to spend some time acknowledging Courtney Cox. That's all. - I will say it is. If you had told me-- - If you had told me-- - I'm just having a totally different take on the movie, I guess. But go ahead. - Well, I was gonna say, if you told me in Spring of '94, Courtney Cox is gonna be on a show with six people. Any year from now, somebody else on that show that's not Courtney Cox will be the sex symbol that everybody's cutting their hair to look like. I would have been like, that's impossible. There's gonna be another part, but it's not gonna be Courtney Cox. Zach doesn't agree. - I'm just gonna say my, I'm just gonna say, we'll do it later. - All right, say we take, we'll do it later. Anyway, this is a very important Courtney Cox movie. - I'm calling-- - Because it's not-- - It's a very important Courtney Cox movie. - Because she tore it away. - It's very important. - It's a beautiful, cheesy movie. - You didn't see the opposite sex and how to live with them in the theater in 1992. - Exactly. - Yeah, I fucking went to support Courtney Cox. - I don't even know what that is. - Please. - It was set in Boston. - Zach, you said you were 15 when you saw this movie? - Well, Ace from Tour is 94, so 16. - And Courtney Cox didn't do anything. - I mean, look. - I'm not saying she shouldn't do anything. I'm just saying-- - Zach has a different take on the-- - We're learning Zach as a type. - Sean Young, last to our very controversial rewatchables character, 'cause we did no way out with Kevin Costner. Chris Ryan and I love Sean Young in that movie and Craig's like, eh, just kind of shrugged it off. That became a thing. This is her last to our after this. It's all over and she's not really in any movies and a notoriously difficult Hollywood actor, shall we say. We'll get back to her later. - $15 million budget made $100 and $7 million. It sold 4.2 million home videos in its first three weeks. - Wow. - That's a lot. So normally when Craig's producing, we still do the World Back Century Club, which was a new category this year. Craig, 86 minutes. - I can't believe it's under 90. - You're just delayed. - Oh. - 86 minutes. Craig thinks every movie should be 100 minutes. - Yeah. - So this is a plus 14 on the World Back Scale. - It's not a bad take. - The departed can be long. That's okay, but in general. - Departed is too long. - For rare exceptions, every movie should be under two hours and it should be around 100 minutes. 80, 86 minutes is movies. And it doesn't feel like it's too short or, I mean, I feel like everything you want is in there. They develop the plot. I feel like we should say this movie's plot and premise is way too good than it needs to be. The idea of it. - That's a good point. - So I just would say it's the best. - I think the plot's kind of amazing. - It's fantastic. - It's a great idea. - A great idea. - Who goes back home and plots is revenge to kill the quarterback who held the ball wrong is a fantastic plot. - Well, but you have that, but then you also have pet detectives also a great idea. - This movie has two great ideas. - The pet detective is a insane idea. - But then the funny idea for the plot. - You're right, the plot is a little twistier than it has any right to be. - Oh, that thread connects to that. - What's going on here? Why am I thinking about this movie? - You totally think it's the rich guy, which he has nothing to do with it. - Right, he's about her hearing. - The finkle ironhorn twist for however problematic it is, is a crazy twist for a comedy. There's not a lot of twist in comedies. Genuinely didn't see that coming. And the idea of I'm going to spend the next eight years of my life plotting to kidnap and murder Dan Marino is an incredible plot. - What basketball person would really think of it? Is there somebody who'd blame somebody else? Like this would be like JR Smith. - I was about to be mad on LeBron for being blamed for the time. - LeBron would blame JR Smith for botching the end of game one to the bronze 15 finals. - LeBron Smith would be the ray finkle though. - You would have to blame LeBron for it. - You need a bench player. - LeBron actually told him the call time out and then pretend he didn't know it had to be that would be the plot. - I'm going to be distracted for LeBron. - Sorry, I shouldn't have done that. - Maybe it's like Dremon trying to kill the ref who gave him that technical in 2016. - Jordan Pull. - And Dremon? - Jordan Pull, Dremon ruined my career and he punched me. Now I'm going to get revenge on Dremon. - Ace Ventora 3. - Pull Detective. - Pull the thing. - Describe the teammate detective. - Roger Ebert. - To the surprise of nobody, one star. Have any one star movies that we've done for? - Yeah. - It's such a rarity for us. He said this movie basically is one joke, which is Ace Ventora's weirdy, nerdy strangeness. If you laugh at this joke, I can sympathize with you. Even if I can't understand you, I found the movie a long, unfunny slog to an impenetraint of plot and peniturable plot. Kids might like it. - I might like it. - Kids might like it, this is compliment. - I'll keep going. Kerry plays Ace as if he's being clocked on an energyometer and paid by the calories expended. He's a hypergoon who likes to screw his mouth into strange shapes while playing variations on the language. You know what? That's all correct. - Yeah. - And Roger Ebert was 52 when this movie came out. - It's not for you. - My dad would have not let it be on for one minute. It would have been like, he's talking I was, but you're smarter than this, get this nonsense off the idiot box. - That's almost exactly the same. - I'm older than 52 and when he puts the, when he's at the mansion and he puts the food and he starts doing this with the food. - I left my ass out. - You probably saw it when you were 20. - I know, but it's still funny. - So this is my general, - It's a visceral, funny reaction. - He's my general take on the movie. And I just want to get it out now. So you mentioning that scene where he makes the face that the guy was not looking, right? He's just, it's a completely throwaway moment in the movie. - I laugh out loud every time. - I think generally the small jokes in this movie are way funnier than the big jokes. I think the big jokes are largely not that great and I'll hit some of them later. It's those kind of moments, and those kind of facial expressions and smug expressions that I think make the whole movie. I think they're the best part of the movie. - I agree. We're gonna take a break and then we're gonna do most rewatchable scene. All right, most rewatchable scene opening credits with the box when he steals Tex Cobb's dog. Tex Cobb was a pretty, pretty well known boxer in the '70s and '80s for a heavyweight division. Famously got the shit kicked out of him by Larry Holmes on ABC and Harold Koso was so upset by how one side of the fight was, he vowed never to do boxing again. It was killing the fight as it was happening. That's how Tex Cobb was known. Then he went into movies. - Wow. - And apparently the black eyes are real. - Yeah, he got enough fight. It's alive. I think that seems funny. Next scene, Aces Pets come out of hiding, which I think is a great shot Gordo candidate. Here are the pets. Raccoon, Aguana, Penguins, and Otter, Skunk, Monkey, Squirrel, Bassetown, Parrots, and a cat. - Raccoon comes out of the toilet. - Yeah. - And the penguins come out of the fridge, which I liked. - So I didn't do this much, I have had research made one of you did. Is that monkey, the little monkey? Is it Ross's monkey from Friends? Is it the same actor monkey? - Wow. - There can't be that kind of monkey has a name that I'm blanking on. But first from the show, yeah, it's gotta be the same monkey. How many of these monkeys can there be floating around? - Or maybe there's a million monkeys. And they, Marcel just gotta, got tabbed. There were other people that could have had the shot. - Happens in Hollywood all the time. - My son really, really marveled at this scene and it was a, how did they do this scene for him? 'Cause there's no CGI. - No, they ain't. - He's like, how did they get all these animals to coexist together? - That's great question. - I actually thought this thing could have gone longer. - Yeah. - I could have watched it feed the animals. I just had more questions. I love pets. - Yeah, and they all hide like the toys and toy story when he jingles the kids. - Yeah, it was a great, to a great moment. - Yeah. - Honestly, we're like two apartments seen short with the pets. - I could have run it back. - Apparently, the sex scene when all the animals are around as well. Apparently, Kerry said that they are all tied to the ground so they can't move. He said they were trained to do that. - I wonder if he was on the set going, "Is that probably, is that problematic?" I don't know. - You tie your dog to a pole and you, you know? - See, I think the sex scene, not good enough. I think it should have been funnier. The highlight of the sex scene is the bird. - I think that's the bird that's bouncing up and down, mimicking the movements. I think they were very scared to veer toward the R range. - I just feel like for a guy who has this level of physical comedy and inanity and insanity to him, the sex scene should have been like bonkers. - More animalistic. - Just, I don't even know what, just like crazier. That's actually a rogery. wrote in his review. He's like, that's actually should have been bonkers. Next scene, Ace checks out the empty dolphin pool and does star trek compressions. I think you have to be over 45 to get even, like, did you even get those jokes? Yeah. So that's the correct answer to this question. That's the best scene on a movie. That's your most rewatchable. Should I go on? Yes. I will say that he gets into the tank and he says to Courtney Cox, if I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer. That is one of the most perfectly written jokes in the history of jokes. The first time I heard it, I think that one joke single-handedly changed my sense of humor. Oh, wow. Just the zig-zag construction of the joke and the kind of meanness underlying it almost, I think changed me in that moment. The star trek compression is perfect because it's just like Shatner, but multiple characters, but like 20% more Shatnery. And then we talked about this offline, the scene, the part of that scene where he pretends to be the dolphin's German trainer, which is not in the movie anymore. It's a crime that that's not in because every single line of it. Yeah. I believe the original theatrical cut when I saw it as a kid had that scene. So I knew that scene. I don't know why it's not on Netflix now. So does he know you, does he call you like home? And I'm up in the tail. It's just like absolutely pitch-perfect the entire way through. So we were talking because he was asking me why that wasn't in there. We were talking offline. And I was saying how when these movies were on TNT Comedy Central wherever they would have to pad the movie to get it to two hours. So this is 86 minutes. So if it's a two-hour slot on Comedy Central, they have to have 34 minutes of commercials. They don't want to do that. So they put in deleted scenes and they would pad the movies. So you would see, saw these movies on cable, there would be these extra scenes and then you buy it on DVD or whatever. And you're like, where's the scene that I like? And it's just not there. So if you include bad horror movies had this too. If you include that part, German trainer Hans, something or other. And you can call them. Yeah. That whole scene is Nirvana. That's Nirvana. And even for somebody like whatever I was 11 years old, no idea what they were talking about. The voices are still funny. Him going, I just can't do it! It's still played for an 11-year-old. Next one, Ace Ketekl at the police station. Excuse me. I'd like to ask you a few questions. So I freely admit I did this to my kids basically. When they were younger, because they thought this was hilarious. And it was just a running joke in our family. It still makes me laugh on that proud of it. As Holyo, Sadamia. I don't think 16-year-old me registered those jokes at the time. It was nice to hear. It was nice to hear them again. It has a good throwaway line too at the end when she's like, blah, blah, blah. Sean Young's a blah, blah, blah. There's going to be hell to pay. And he's like, I'm not ready for a relationship yet. That's a good line. He snuck at that one in the end. But I love that whole scene. The mansion party date. I love a nice big rich mansion with a bad guy in a comedy. Like you never go wrong. Mention the food thing. I think that's the big good hunter burger word for best use of food or drink. I was eating the crab cake or whatever that is. Yeah. All right. If you have another one, what's your what's your other one? When he's eating, what are they? Sesame seeds in the ass tray. Do you want a cigarette? I don't smoke. It's disgusting habit. This has the mission impossible riff. Oh, really? By the way, it was going out of favor in the mid 90s because the show is from the 60s. So it was like tail end and then cruise brought it back. And now it's now it's timeless again. Yeah, him scaling the fancy. You don't realize right away that it's going to be as absurd as it is that he doesn't need to do any of those acrobatic things. And he's just doing it because he thinks it's fun. Yeah. You get the the snowflake gag where it turns out to be the shark. Yeah. The ring ID montage. When he's looking up with line up, by Erasmith, which I think wins the kid cut you pursued out in a sword, right? I was going to give without a mission impossible. Okay. The sex scene with all the animals watching. The director said that was one of the most disturbing scenes he's ever filmed. By the way, the director was ahead that of my notes. Tom Shadjak, who also co-wrote the screenplay. He did Ace Ventura, the nighty professor, Lair Lair, patch Adams, Bruce Almighty. Wow. Yeah. Jim Carrey's guy also apparently Courtney Cox terrified of animals. And it was a mess on set. And she was petrified the whole time. That's bad casting. You got it. That's one of those were like the actor lies like you ever played hockey before? Yeah. Been skating my whole life and then they get on skat set and they don't know how to skate. There was a scene where she interacted with the monkey and they said she was shaking so bad they had to cut it. Ironically, potentially the same monkey that was on friends. Yeah. Maybe it's myself. The screenwriter Jack Bernstein actually came up with the pet detective idea after he watched a David Letterman sketch about pet owners. So Letterman tentacles here again. Two more rewatchable scenes. Visit to Ray Finkel's house. Which it's fun, but when the mother goes, damn. I've got to read her right now. She might come up in best hang worst thing. Would you give that the Billy Billy bats, Jack Walts, a word for most biting and scalable? She might win like six categories. Ace gets into shady acres just for the slow motion run and then the the football in the back. So you know what makes the slow motion thing is that he not only does it backwards. Yeah. But that he talks backwards. And it's just nonsense gibberish. And you're like, what is he doing? You're just like, Oh, he's mimicking what he would sound like if your words came out backwards. That's why even if you don't find this joke funny or that joke funny, it's just impressive. Yeah. Watching him do what he does. That's so hard to do to make yourself sound like you're speaking backwards. It's incredible. And I think the fight scene is really funny with him and shot and young. It's just like those fight scenes usually are bad and common is that one's actually good. And it's like, it's funny that it has some twists and turns. Any other rewatchable scenes you have? The fight scene with the eagle at the end is also the mascot. Very good. The eagle mascot. One I'll add is the crime scene at the apartment after the guy allegedly to his suicide. The sliding glass store. My wife does that in life randomly when applicable. Yeah. She will do that. I've been doing that since I was 12 years old. All right. So what's your most rewatchable? I think it's the fancy party. Rob Ronald camp's party. For me, the congratulations on all your success. You smell terrific. Ronald camp played by Udo Kier who was like just this very serious German actor. They decided to cast him coming out of the bathroom. Do not go in there. Yeah. So how the throw away moments make the film for me. That whole scene is my second favorite scene behind the pool tank scene, whatever. When at the start of the mission impossible bathroom when he's in the bathroom, the music hits and he's like, he doesn't just walk. He's like, just this weird almost thriller like zombie one. What is happening? Why is he doing this? And when he gets to the party, that's the funny scene in the movie to me. That dance. No, when they get to the party. She's like, don't embarrass me. He's like, like what? He's like, he's trying to be a tarot actor. Like, what is this? And then, but his throw away joke is when they meet Ron camp. And he's like, he says to Courtney Cox, aren't you going to introduce me to your date? And she's like, oh, you know, he's, this is my lawyer. And Ron camp thinks he's being clever. It's like, oh, should does he have an immersion? They're just calling the lawyer. And Jim cares like, and there's like an underlying meanness and smugness to that facial expression that is just brilliant. Those are the moments that make the movie for me. I think he's the best walker ever in movies for like being able to pull out funny, crazy different types of walks. Yeah. He's human. Because even when he comes into the police office for the first time, he's doing that walk as he walks through, like he's just his control of his own body. I don't, I can't think of anybody else like this. So I had forgotten about the scene right outside the door. Oh my god. And laughing out loud on the page. I was dying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, have we ever seen Kerry play sports? Because he seems quite coordinated. Has he never done a sports movie? He must know how to skate his Canadian. He's got to be a player. I wonder it's it's a recurring thing with some of the better comedians. Like they're really good athletes. Yeah. Belushi was like a great athlete. Chris Farley. Good athlete. Chris Farley was an awesome athlete. Like these guys, they can do physical comedy partly because they're just athletic. Yeah. My most rewatchable scene is him at the police station. That whole start to finish when he's getting heckled. He does the ass you a question just all the way through. I just like that the most what's the most 1994 thing about this movie? What do you have? Isotone or gloves had that down as well. I wrote down Dan Marino doing a commercial for Isotone or gloves. I had Dan Marino as the dolphins QB. I had the band cannibal corpse which I did not I was not aware of them. I just they feel like that probably not doing a lot in 2025. Captain Stubing as an ironic comedy reference. Now that's just sailing over people's heads. My number one thing though is the dolphins having a chance to win the Super Bowl. Oh, I knew somebody was going to go there. Yeah. That felt really 1994. It's been a while for them. What saves the best? Wait, do we know? Disice with toner still exists? Great question. I don't even know what that is. It was this, I mean, did OJ KOS toner gloves? Or did he have a different type? I don't think he had ice with toner. I think you just slandered ice with toner. I don't know. Maybe you did. It was funny at the next way. You watched the balls I look at the camera. I'm like, I'd like to apologize for his tights with toner gloves. OJ did not wear them. You would see them advertised on television, right? Like, you could order ice with toner gloves. They were like the only gloves I had ever heard of. I don't know how they became a thing, but they are a very nineties thing. We'll clear if they're still around. Google Gemini for what it is. According to Google Gemini, yes, evidence in the OJ symptom trial indicated he owned and wore Aries ice toner gloves. Okay. And that was in June 94. I think I could not apologize for what I said. Then they must not be available. If they are available, I'm going to I'm going on Amazon Prime right after this and getting a pair of ice with toner gloves. So what the OJ is getting the OJ classic edition. So they were just with his signature on them. They were just fashionable gloves. Yeah, it was just somebody trying to own the gloves market. They were like, check these out. Ice the toner. Super comfortable. I don't know. Everybody gave up on the glove market. What's age the best? What do you have? What's age the best? Courtney Cox. I had Courtney Cox as well. Absolutely. I would say giving people chances. Jim Carrey being this guy on in living color and just deciding to allow him to have a movie where he cooks for 90 minutes. Obviously, age is incredibly well. And we saw it afterwards with Adam Sandler and Mike Myers and stuff like that. This kind of paved the way for just kind of letting somebody, letting an executive just be like, you know what? This guy's kind of funny. I see something in him. I'm just going to let him go. Right. Here's a budget. Yeah. Come up with an 86 minute movie for us. What do you have? I just think it's the entire Jim Carrey experience. I mean, I don't have a great answer for this one. I just think his career has gone up and down. Obviously, but like I think his performance in this movie. This is my favorite Jim Carrey movie still. And I think this performance is like the perfect distillation of how crazy he is as a comic superstar. I have, we mentioned earlier, with a great double idea. This was for a movie. These two separate things that are actually like pretty smart for a dumb comedy. Laces out makes me laugh. It's just stage the best in general when they every day talk about laces and a football. That's a great call. Game. I always kind of just think about that. Comities where the lead policeman or detective is just a horrible driver. It always works. I don't know why everyone wouldn't let's do it. It's just like, oh, look at this. Oh, he drove into the garbage can. It always gets me when he does the parallel park like a good hour. Yeah. Yeah. 1990s Miami and Miami movies in the 80s and 90s being set in Miami before it became like a cliche to put stuff there. There was a South Beach for like, I recognize some of the places they're running on South. I'm like, it doesn't even look like South Beach now. It's not as glitzy. The Chess Rockwell and Brock Lenders are word for best character name I threw this in. I really enjoyed Tom Ace. Tom Ace. Tom Ace. Yeah. Tom Ace. Tom Ace. Roger pod actor. I was going to say. Pretty good name. I have two candidates for this. Yeah. And one is Roger pod actor, which is also very close to podcaster, but it's also just it's just a fun name to say. Yeah. Yeah. What the pod actor didn't get didn't commit suicide. And then I just think, you know, Ray Finkel. How fun is that to say? Ray Finkel. Ray Finkel. They sent her a great name. Good names. The Hans Gruber scale for villain ranking. Sean Young is the villain in this movie. I think we've got to do the Hans Gruber scale anytime there's a villain. Okay. I have a down four out of 10. I mean, on the crazy scale, she might be like an eight. What do you have? Execution, not so much. Three and a half four. Yeah. Oh, it's Zack's first ever flex category. So excited. Can't wait to see what he has here. Uh, I was going to go with you guys are going to like this. The Seth Rogen, Catherine Haigel, a word for worst chemistry. Okay. I just I just find the Melissa Robinson character pretty bland. Like, where's the spice? There's like, what does he see in her? Other than her physical attractiveness. Does she say one funny thing in the home movie? This was she funny at all for one second. I feel like you almost can't be. She needs to absorb. There's no banter. They have no banter. There's nothing. She's like a blank wall for him to throw jokes at except she's a pretty blank wall. So I'm going to defend this in honor of Courtney Cox. I'm not so I think she is was her comic ability is wasted in the movie. That's a fair point. I think the trope with these movies was the the female who's usually hot was just kind of a straight man. I also think part of the joke is that he is so insane and she doesn't bat an eye and it's like, I'm into him. She doesn't even realize what's happening for the whole movie. This is basically like happy Gilmore. It's the same thing. Every movie. She's got a little more spunk. She's she's like Julie Bowen. Julie Bowen and that movie's got a little more spunk. I think it's intentional that every time it cuts to Courtney Cox, she's just like, oh, Ace, like I think that's part of the humor. Also, does it make you feel like it doesn't even it's not even clear to me when and why she decide she goes from horrified by this person to now I'm in love with this person. But that's because this isn't a good movie. No, no, I'll tell you what, I didn't really build that one. In the condo, the suicide crime scene, when he figures that out, that's when she falls for him, and you can see it in her eyes. You can see it in her eyes, right? For the for the first hour, she's either like this guy's either a serial killer or special needs, and I can't decide. It's one of these two. I think the character is like, oh, maybe he's neither. He's just a subitre. The character of Ace is the hardest to buy when he first meets Melissa Robinson. Yeah. She's describing to him the snowflake situation. He almost like can interact with her. She's like, hi, nice to meet you. And he's like, hello, how are you? And she's like, did you, like, were you able to park? He's like, like, making a joke about getting a hand up his ass. Like, he actually can't have a human conversation with her. And he's eaten the sunflower seeds. That strains credually a little bit, and it eases throughout the rest of the movie. You know, the only moment in this entire movie when he talks in a normal voice is when she gets the phone call that the guy that Roger predictor. That's right. He walks in the room is like, Melissa, I'm sorry. Melissa, I'm sorry, but he's he's not doing Ace Ventura. It's the only time in the movie. And those moments are really good in that same scene. I like, I don't know why this is in the movie, but they're chatting and he goes, what do you feed your dog? And she's like, dog food. And he's like, he's clearly unhappy. And it's kind of serious that I don't really know why it's there, but it's really good. That's exactly that. That seems coming up later for me. The Butch's girlfriend award for week link of the film. I have a I have a really hardcore one here. Really what? Hardcore one. Okay. Nobody would wear their 1984 AFC championship ring. Not one person. I thought we had a fucking absurd. I was thinking of humans. We have what's age of worse coming up where we're going to cover the problem with this movie. The idea that everybody associated with that game still wears the ring every single person's like, you know, is the highlight of my career, the AFC title game 10 years ago that I won. And then we lost in the Super Bowl. And I'm just going to be first of all, people as you guys both know, people don't normally wear their rings anyway, because they're big and heavy and cumbersome. You're definitely not wearing your AFC championship ring. And if you did, that's like maybe three guys on the team. So that plot's just falling sideways. The heat, the heat people stand out in the NBA community, because they often wear their championship rings, at least one of them. And people, they are sometimes gently mocked for doing it, but they do it. Well, you know, who does it? We don't have to name names, but the owners wear the rings. They're the ones that wear them because they love nothing more than somebody noticing the ring, pointing it out and asking to put it on. And they're like, oh, you're sure. And they're the most important to the to the win to the championship. This is like they're they're walking trophy wife. Yes, like the way the Warriors light years ahead. That's true. Don't get me started. But the players don't wear them. Have you ever seen a player wearing one of their rings? The irony of these rings is it's like, I got to get the ring. And then you fucking put it in the safety deposit box to continue on your point. Why would these people be wearing these rings? Also, you know, Finkel loses the gem in the ring and the tub. Why would she be wearing that when she's stealing the dolphin? Why? She wouldn't. That's because she has that on. And also, you're she's not she's not trying to advertise that she's in disguise. Yeah. Why is she wearing the ring at all? Would you have for a week link? I wouldn't ask too many questions about the plot. Actually, wouldn't want you to start to unravel. It's tough. I went a little more literal. I had the blandest of the Courtney Cox character. Also, don't really get why Tone Locke is in the movie. I wish I wish Tone Locke did up a little bit more. But you know, but I and I mean, I'm going to talk more football later, but I think the football parts of it are a little wanting. Mine was just the resolution of the movie is probably the weight link now. You know, it looks like it was a TV movie made by, I don't know, PBS. The hemorrhoids reveal and all of that, you know, aside from it not aging well, it's just like kind of a weak resolution, I think. Oh, you meant the actual resolution? Yeah. I think you meant the resolution of the picture, you meant the resolution, I mean the little resolution, the climax, the intricate plot. Yeah. Well, that's the probably every comedy from this era had a bad ending. I'm half tying it into the fact that it's like obviously, yeah, inappropriate, but it is kind of like if that wasn't there, probably a little bit more watchable. Did this movie have a porn parody? Well, I looked it up and it did. And it's called, it came out in 1995 and it's called Ask Ventura Cracked Detective, directed by Herschel Savage. What's the plot? Can you explain? I mean, she calls him, pet dick in the movie. That's waiting for that. So you don't have to change it that much, you know, they did. Or animals involved, or did they kind of move away from that? I honestly, I thought about doing more research and decided I didn't want to get a virus. A dark place quick with the animals. Yeah. The porn parody thing, you want to search for that IMDB, but you don't actually want to click on a link. What was it called? Ask, ask Ventura Cracked Detective. It's not even good. Cracked is kind of a stretch, like that doesn't rhyme with it. It's like, I can understand why it's there. But now I got to call this up because I didn't write down with the guy's name. You can just like sex detective. Yeah. Yeah. Ventura Cracked Detective. So his name is asked for asked Ventura searches for Fanny, the life of the wife of Los Angeles mayor Peter Rumpford. I feel like they could have kept getting a virus. I get to get out of this. They could have cast the same woman from the first scene of the movie, probably in the porn parody as well. Easily. Maybe she double dipped. A more acrobatic and entertaining sex scene than the Courtney Cox Jim Kerri's sex scene. That opening scene when he's like, he's the people sure are friendly. We're going to take one more break and do what sage the worse buckle up. Oh boy. All right. What sage the worst? We could spend 30 minutes on this or we could spend 30 seconds. I vote for 30 seconds. The trans stuff in this movie is tough. 30 plus years later. Mm-hmm. I'm not going to defend it. It's 1994. This is just how it was in 1994. The one thing I will say about so the crying game was a cultural phenomenon when it came out maybe 18 months earlier. Was a huge movie. The reveal was like keep the reveal secretive stuff that would never happen out on the internet. And they're trying to parody the crying game of this, which I'm not sure anyone under 30 would even know that they're doing. Kerri said, I wanted to be the biggest most obnoxious homophobic reaction ever recorded. He's paired in the crying game thing. Obviously it's not H. Well, naked gun three also did a twist this 902 and O in the sophomore year season finale episodes in Palm Springs also went down this road where Steve Sanders thought he was going to hook up with this girl and it turned out he had a little surprise coming. So this was in the air in the mid 90s. So we just have to put in context. I'm sure you guys don't have anything to add. We could just move on. Great, not great. Star Trek impression sub-age the worst because that show came out in 1966. And I wrote down my left-selecting ace. I thought the same thing until I read that she literally liked him in real life watching him on set. So how can you say maybe he just wears you down. She even said that he was toned down in rehearsal and when they actually started filming for real and he started going big, that was when she was like, oh my god, this is the funniest man I've ever met. And I started to develop a crush on him. Okay. So how can how can we deny Courtney Cox's feelings? She's full of a lot of love and she loved laughing. The only thing I would add to age the worst and I this could also be my hot take category. I think some of the big jokes are just flat out. Not funny. Like I think talking out of the ass is not funny. I think it hurts my heart. I think the text Cobb won where he's in the car chase and he says ass holes in the mirror appear closer than they appear. Like lame. There are a couple lame just flat lame. But here's the thing. He's firing 12/3s a game. He's he's just trying to go for feels like for some of them are scripted in ways that like the writers like we got to hit this one hard. Like this feels like a landmark joke. And I think almost all of them are like whiffs or felball. It also varies between like that's pretty funny to a 12 year old, maybe not funny to an 18 year old. Yeah, I guess what are they going for right? They're not going for me right now in 2026. Can I ask you a question? Is a fucking murderous row comedy for a six year old? I can just tell you from my two kids. As Holyo and Sadamia. Yeah. The best part about that is it cuts away to Sean Young. And then it cuts back to show that like he's still going. Yeah. And still doing the ass thing. I think the best part of that is now he's singing. I think the best part of that is tone low, being like legitimately terrified that he's going to get in trouble because they fit her as fucking around on his desk. And it's somehow it's supposed to he breaks it at the end of it. You can see him start in to be like this fucking guy. Like just started laugh at the end. I have a couple of what's easy to work. The ending credits song. Have did you hear it? Do you know that? It's bad. It's a tone low song. But Jim Carrey does the intro. And he goes. Yes, tone. Put that big ass size 13 on and kick it for the homies. That's like the very beginning of the credit. That's the last time a way person ever ever tried to say. And it's like that's just nothing really work. Professional sports teams having live animal mascots. Oh, not really a thing anymore. Seed. I don't know if you know Zach's background with mascots. I'm a big mascot. He's like probably the number. He means like live. Like an actual trap. I know, but you're this is one of your corners. Yeah, but if you I have no objection to that because if you were placed snowflake, the real dolphin. I'm saying you're excited that this topic came up. Oh, I'm very excited. I want to talk more about the Eagles mascot guy in the cryptic that of it at the end of the game. I have an issue with that that we'll get to. But yeah, can you think of a professional or a collegiate sports team that still has a live animal? Some do. There's the Georgia Bulldog. It's a dog. But it's a dog. So there's no, you know, yeah, the buffalo runs out, but we don't really know what's happening with the buffalo at Colorado games. Like in its general life. The bulldog strong. I like the bulldog idea, but it's a dog. So it's a really animal. Dog's are good. The Celtics have an actual human being who's just a human without a costume really is their mascot. I didn't know where that falls. What's your number one mascot right now? NBA right now. It's hard to argue with Benny the bull. Benny the bull or the raptor would be number one and two stuffed imagine dragon most underrated. What was the worst mascot of the last 20 years for you? Well, they murdered the Brooklyn night. The creatively named Brooklyn night, who was like part Marvel superhero, part like night and descended from the ceiling. That came out of some sort of marketing meeting. And then they were like, let's just pretend this never happened. Yeah, he left. I like when they pretend the mascot never happened. It's my favorite. They put you to the mascot and we put you went back to his planet. Did the dolphins have a real dolphin? Was that accurate? I don't know. I don't think so. People go to a football game. Then what guess what they want to do? Get drunk in the parking lab before the game and then watch football. They don't care. Oh, there's a dolphin. Does LSU have a tiger? Did they have a tiger? I think they have a tiger. I think it's in like a cage. It comes out. Peter's protesting it now. Any more? No. The door flurs door award for how much that hurt. I threw this in there because I wanted to ask you guys. Falling off of three story roof and a bunch of garbage bags, I feel like that would hurt more than it does in movies. We talked about this in another podcast recently where people jump into the dumpster and it always works out perfectly with garbage bags. You never land on a broken wine bottle or like somebody put a chainsaw in there. Still it's like a nice, comfy thing. I just have some questions. This is a great, you're speaking some of these ideas into existence as we were doing earlier. So would that hurt? Yeah, there are probably, I mean, there's a scene where two henchmen take a giant metal hook to the head. That's probably the one that'll take you out. Yeah. That's a good one. Hit that hurt. The rough low hand and ribbon and parchment over acting. I have an answer for what hurts the most. What is it? During the asylum visit when he reaches the end of his performance and he just smacks his head down into like a leather bench. Great. I'm like, it looks like he actually just straight up at full velocity smacked his head into a leather bench. I'm sure it's padded and all that. But I'm like, he went hard in that. You have to respect it from sand. Stefan digs had one of those in the AFC title game when he headbutted the guy with the helmet and I need to never help it. The guys are nuts. Didn't Vrable do that to somebody? Yeah. Yeah. Rough low hand and ribbon and parchment over acting word. I don't know how this doesn't go to Sean Young. It's in there's one moment. I don't know what she's going for with the over acting. You're so into it. The final scene when they're in the warehouse and he's exposing her as a man. She's like convulsing. What did she do? It's one of the most bizarre. Every time I watch that I'm like, whose choice was this? It's like she's having a seizure. It is. She go to the director and be like, I think what my character do is just wobble here with a weird look on their on their face. We should just have like an evil look on her face. Yeah. She's having like, I guess it's a psychotic breakdown. But she's like twitching and sweating and shaking. It's very strange. Well, this is exciting. Zach gets to do this CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford. How does take a word for the first time? I already did them all. Oh, okay, my three were all the big jokes with. Courtney Cox's bland. Those are how it takes. Those are not that hot enough. Those are pretty hot. The name of the category is cut dry and can be Wilson could have been Harrison. Yeah. How does take has to be if Steph Curry never met Clay Thompson. We wouldn't know who he was. It's got to be like, whoa. I don't know if I have one back. Crangle. Crangle teach you how to do this. I genuinely think Jim Carishett have gotten an Oscar nomination for this. I flirted with that. And I thought maybe it's too ridiculous to say. I mean, you want to talk about a singular performance, something that is irreplaceable that you cannot have anybody slot in and do find me a role that somebody else could do. Who do we have in the category? Do you have it? I'll pull it back up. Okay. Best actor in a leading role. 95 Tom Hanks, Forest Gump Morgan Freeman, Shawshank Redemption, Nigel Hawthorne, the madness of King George. Probably would do that one again. John Travolta Pulp Fiction and Paul Newman, nobody's fool. It's a career cheap and Oscar. You know what I mean? What Kerry is doing in this from a commitment and acting and can this person be replaced perspective is one of one. Nobody can do what he did and make a hundred million dollars doing it. So a couple things. And I've said this on my pod. I've argued about this with Sean. I do think the comedy, like if they want to make the Oscars more fun, like funniest performance of the year. They should do that. Well, now it's all a mess with these different, the Golden Globes is a complete mess with trying to what counts as a comedy, what's not a comedy. None of these movies are actually funny. They split it between musical and comedy and drama just to nominate more movies and the other idea that's sitting there is MVP for the year and it would have to be somebody that was in at least two important movies or influential movies or whatever. That carries the MVP of 94. It puts out three comedies. It makes whatever. Nobody else is competing. Hank's had force gump. That's it. Nobody else is competing with that. If you think in '94, you probably think I carried first. That should be commemorated in some way. Yeah. Like next year, Tom Holland is in the Odyssey. He's in Spider-Man. He's in Avengers. But it kind of turns into do your movies cross the most money. No, but I don't even think it has to do that. Just like if you're in two, three different things. If you direct two movies in the same year, there's some sort of, or you make a movie and then you produce another movie. I even think best comedic performance would be great because they rarely give nominations to those people. Yeah. And it would recognize them such a bummer because there's some of the hardest things to do as an actor is be funny. My hat is take. I think Burrino and Ace Ventura, who we didn't really talk about damn Burrino, I think it's the fourth best athlete playing of self-cambio of all time. I think not second, not first, but I think fourth. I mean, I think he's like bad. No, I think it's important. I think he's funny. He's staying Dan Burrino. He's keeping the core. He's like, this is who I am. I'm not going to try to act. I'm just going to be Dan Burrino. I think he's kind of funny. I think it's funny that he's not funny. So here's what I have. The Mount Rushmore for me is cream and airplane. Reggie Jackson and naked gun and Mike Tyson and the hangover along with Dan Burrino on those first three are so much better than Maria. Well, I needed a fourth from Mount Rushmore. You've got to be able to do better. Jeeter and the other guys, other guys, anybody. It's pretty dynamic. I never saw the cameo farm in their subject about Mary, pretty good, which sets up the breadfarver joke and Ken Griffey and Little Big League as himself. Yeah. But it's high. There's not a lot of, we've had athletes playing characters or Shaq playing like neon, like stuff like that. But not like this. I'm playing myself in this thing. I'm not disrupting the movie. And it's kind of fun that I'm here. I think Marina checks all the box. No, no space jam. Nobody. I can't count space jam. I think space jam is bad. But well, I so it's an an it's, there's a reason it hasn't been unrewatchable. I think it's also surprising that Dan Marino is in this movie. Dan Marino is like 32, 33 when they film this. So like, well, in his prime, both him and Shula, right? Like, it's like, how? Why did you say it was a big deal that Dan Marino is in this movie? But they equipment of Jim Kelly being in this movie now. Because again, like, as we said, no one knew this movie was going to be a thing. That's the thing. It makes no sense that like, did Dan Marino read the script and think, you know what? Yeah. It's kind of weird. I like this. I'm going to be legitimately in this movie and get kidnapped. I mean, I don't even the 2026 parallel is like, they're making the movie. They're making them. Well, no, it's it would be like they're making the movie with Marcelo Hernandez where Patrick Maholms gets kidnapped. Yeah. And then instead of tone low, it's like Benson Boone is the side character in it. Like I just that would never happen. I can't believe they did it. I can't believe he did it. And I love that. Isn't it? And he was really famous. It was Montana Marino. No way. We're the three cubies for 12 years. Those were the guys. Shula, I've forgotten about. And it's it's two seconds. Funny too. Yeah. You think Marino's age. I was like, I think he's just moving. Marino's like the white guy and then living color. What happens? I get kidnapped. Did Mona? This would be good for your dad. How much to make out with Sean Young? He's like, all right. How much more money did Jim Carrey get than Dan Marino for their respects to work in this movie? So Jim Carrey got 350 Marino probably got at at least 50 cat Marino. You have the same amount. I can't believe Dan Marino is doing this for like less than $100. Did I sit on her pay for the Marino came? Yeah. Oh. Casting what ifs? Wow. Filmmakers first approach Rick Moraness. Who declined? I think the entire casting what ifs for Ace Ventura is in what's age the worst. Who would be Goldberg? Yeah. They flurred it with a pet detective. David Ongrier turned it down. Lauren Howe turned out in the female lead that went to Courtney Cox. Daniel Stern was supposed to direct. There's a couple of us for Ace. Judd Nelson. Judd Nelson. I was like, that feels like the other. I didn't believe. I didn't believe. It feels like the internet made that up. And then Alan Rickman. Again, I didn't. What are we? See Craig, this is why I decipher it through my shit detector when I read this. And you go, especially when you go on an IMDB when they have the trivia. But halfway down it gets like, it feels like you and I could just type stuff in, right? Like, Zacklow is considered to be Ace Ventura. That could just get in. Now Alan Rickman did what's the Star Wars parody that he did that he's fantastic. No, Alan Rickman. Oh, sorry. I thought you were saying Moraness. The space movie where they're making the TV show where he's very funny in that movie. Tim Allen's in it. Oh, Galaxy Quest. Yeah, yeah. So he had like a little fun side to him. But this is like this movie doesn't exist. You can't possibly imagine Alan Rickman in this movie. I do believe Rick Moraness, though. And I think he was still famous enough that it could have happened. Best that guy. So Ace is landlord. That's it. That's the one. That is the guy. He was sources hit man from Scarface that Tony kills in the car. He's also Hector Salamaca. Yeah, Hector Salamaca. I'm breaking bad. Yeah. He's the guy in the wheelchair. He's funny in this movie. I heard the animal scratching around. He sees really. He goes for it. I heard the man animals in their ventura. The fat guy, the fat cop that's that heckles Ace is one of those guys. And he was unsigned for he's been. So I I don't know what that guy's name is. I did it. It's John something. It's a long lesson. I did his IMDB because he was going to be my answer for overacting. He check award because every line he delivered, like he steps on the bug. He's like, "Homicide Ventura, how are you going to solve that one?" Yeah. It's like just so over the top. Dan Waiters, Zach says, "No, Dan Reno. It's got to be the mom. Ray Finkel's mom, right?" What is the what is the what is the award? Dan Waiters biggest he check. I mean, I'm both great candidates. She commands that house for two minutes. Yeah, it's a great. She's kind of weird looking. Yeah. I just I dig her performance of this. It's great. The gonorrhea land kills me. Recasting couch director or city. I want a more dolphins, more Miami dolphins, just sort of appreciated. And maybe they didn't have that many famous dolphins at the time, but I would have put more NFL players in there. I like when he chloroforms the guy tackles him to the crime. That's a crime. It's a pretty serious crime. The tone look part, I do think that would be the one I would really look hard at. Yeah. Like if we're going to pie in the sky, like that's just Eddie Murphy for two scenes. We're going realistic. Like why not run back one of the in living color guys? Like just get Tommy Davidson to be tone look. Because tone look was quite famous at the time, right? He had funky called Benini's one song. And he had what's does he have another one? Does he have a wild thing? He had two or three huge. I guess he had a wild thing, too. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Nobody's going to the movie to go see tone look. No offense. The tone. I would I think the Sean Young character you can recast with 25 different people. And I would just. Well, Craig, you have a flex that you got. Okay. I created a new category. And I figured it was time to introduce this because this happens every movie we do that's in the 80s and 90s. It's the millennial mist reference power ranking. And these are all the things that happen in this movie that when I saw it and even half them to this day, it goes right over my head. Hi, Captain Stubing. How are you going for a doc? No idea what that meant. The crying game song. No idea what that was. The captain's log. I just can't do it. Captain. For God's sakes, Jim, I'm a doctor. Not a pool man. No idea what that is. He asked for a binocca at one point. Yeah. Asked us. Yeah. I don't know what binocca is. Is binocca doesn't exist anywhere? It's breath spray. Okay. I was big around that time, that was a big time for Bidaka. There's a line where Ventura says busted out of a mental institute, did a clawed reigns and he's been plotting his revenge for years. I don't know what clawed reigns means. I'm not even sure. I know who clawed, who clawed reigns this. I think it was an actor. I used to know in my brand forgot. I have exercised the demons. It's another, it's another big joke that I don't like. I think that, that's, that scene is one joke too long and that's the joke. Which I learned is from Poltergeist, which I have since seen that this house is clear. That's the, yeah, it's the short lady. I hated that. That's the hammer. They intend that to be the hammer of that sequence and it, it doesn't ruin it, but it taints it. Couple more. Just tone look in general. Didn't know who that was or why he was in that movie. I had to look it up for the funky Coleman Dana song. Tonight on Miami Vice, Crockett gets the boss a coffee. I didn't know at the time right over my head and then lovely party. Pretty, I wasn't invited. Sean Connery didn't know it at the time. So there's good category. So many things that when you're 14 or whatever, I laughed at all of it. No idea what any of it meant, but I had the same experience in 1994. I didn't what didn't watch Star Trek. The captain's stupid line. I wouldn't have got it all. The pool man line. Like a lot of that. I at that time, despite that I'm, in fact, that I'm much older than a millennial. I would not have gotten it. And you know what? I think it makes the case for making cultural references in movies because everybody tries not to do that anymore because it's like, oh, in five years, nobody will get it. I don't think it matters. I think if the movie is funny and the character is funny, that stuff will age in a fun way, like an Easter egg kind of way. The only time I've really seen it be damaging was Wayne's World 2, where it was beyond the cultural references and the whole thing is basically a parody of the movie The Doors that you would have known five years later, what was going on. If the whole movie is one reference that nobody gets that stuff. But I'm with you. One of the reasons I like when people do that, not just because I get all the jokes. It does firmly place you in whatever year the movie was made, right? Yeah. So if you did it now, somebody would make like a stranger things joke or something or just like belong to 2026. Yeah. Like if somebody, like was doing something that got a little bloody nose from stranger things and they didn't, they didn't acknowledge it. That would be great. And people would enjoy that. But my daughter would love that. Yes. Half-fessing our research. We did a lot of these. One of my favorite things in the research was Jennifer Aniston. What's told a story about visiting Courtney Cox and bringing a copy of the movie to watch and Courtney Cox refused to watch it is apparently a bear spot. Again, real life, the offense kicker Pete Saranavitch filled him for Sean Young and did the kick and did nailed all the takes. So he's got the wig on. They brought Pete Saranavitch in, put a wig on. You can kind of tell if you watch it. Put the interesting twist wrinkled to this after the movie comes out. Marino, one of his best chances, I can't remember if it was 94 or 95. One of his best chances to make the Super Bowl probably his last big chance. I think it was further than 95 when the chargers made it and they lost. They're beating the chargers 21-6. Chargers come back. Take the lead 22-21. The reason I remember this score is because I had wager something like that. There was no question why you remember this score. Marino gets a ball with 30 seconds left. I think I'm remembering this right. One pass in her appearance to get into Fulgo Ranch for Pete Saranavitch who missed the Fulgo. Wow. Ended their season. I do curse of Ace Ventura. I do say, when I watch movies that have heartbreaking sports moments in this one, it's like Scott Norwood can never watch this movie. Like think about the things that it's like crying game. It's like a parody of the Scott Norwood thing too. They made it 26 yards, which is like Gary Anderson. Billy Cundiff's like the only one who's missing. Gary Anderson could never watch this movie. No. It's good to watch it. Not true. Hopefully the Patriots' kicker won't have the experience of being scarred by this. Speaking of, I mean, Dan Marino getting abducted right before the Super Bowl. Who were they playing in the 2025 Patriots? Wow. Somebody keep an eye on Darnal this week. I do think the Super Bowl, it looks like the least. The least amount of pageantry, the least hyped crowd ever for a Super Bowl. And no one says it's really bad. No, Marino was kidnapped. No, and no one seems like that concerned like the Super Bowl is just going on. I had this in NipTace. Keep a police. Super Bowl is having effect for the Super Bowl as the fucking nightmare. And even in 1984 it was a nightmare and they're just like, yeah, let's get into the game. Easily get into it. And he comes back in half time. And they just announce like, and Dan Marino's back in everyone's like, oh, great. It's going to be an exciting second. Apex mountain, carry, not yet, but we're close. I think it's four year, right? I think it's after Dumb and Dumber, that's it. Courtney Cox, we're not there yet, but we're moving in the vicinity. I think it's scream, I think it's screaming friends at the same time. Dan Marino, no, it's the mid-80s for Dan Marino. Three straight years leading the thing in passing makes Super Bowl seems like he's going to be the best quarterback of all time. The dolphins since their last title in 1972, I think this is arguably the apex for them the last 30 years. This is it. Like we were the team in Ace Ventura. What else is good is happening? We don't know if they win the Super Bowl though. In Ace Ventura. They probably could have slid that into the game. We know the score at half time. No, no idea. They don't care. They're not interested. Miami movies know. Not detectives, yes. Jim Carrey's 1994, just in general, just a general apex mountain for comedy actors. Do you think this is the best 1994 Jim Carrey movie? No. I don't. Dumber. I would go dumb and dumb or Ace Ventura mask. I agree. But I think if you're talking about a one year comedy actor year, I think this is probably it. I mean, I don't even particularly like the mask. It's fine. I don't either. The one two punch of Ace Ventura and Dumber and Dumber is the mask just being in the middle of making your shit load up. I think it made the mug. You could just you could just retire after that. AFC championship rings. I think this is the apex mountain. It's the only time anyone. There was this much dialogue about it. All right. Crews are hanks. Hanks, right? It tanks. To play Ace Ventura. Yeah. No hard disagree. Tom Cruise. Cruise. Oh my god. I knew the wheels have come off for you. How Tom Hanks is like Mr. of Mr. Americana, but you didn't see, see you didn't see Bachelor Party 80s Tom Hanks. I see. But first of all, how dare you 80s Tom Hanks could have been Ace Ventura. Hanks can be goofy. Tom Cruise. I'm talking about turn up the goofy. I'm not talking about goofy. I'm talking about in some of the smug nasty or moments of this movie, you can see the seeds of like what becomes not quite the cable guy, but that that level of smugness and meanness. Like I can't believe we haven't discussed the scene where we're going to get to it. I hope we're bam, bam, bam. He hits Courtney Cox with three of the nastiest insults in a row like rapid fire. It's like that's just okay. And like Cruise has that little darkness in his arsenal that I just don't think Tom Hanks has. And physicality. No, no, no. You need some physicality. I'm not saying you guys are Tom Hanks. So imagine Tom Hanks making faces and doing these stuff. You can't do it. I just don't fucking weird. It would be if Tom Cruise is trying to be asymmetric. It just wouldn't work. Tom Cruise is only in a comedy once in 40 years and he had to wear a fat suit. He's going to disguise basically. It's not going to work. None of this is going to work. This is a one man unicorn performance. Yeah, you're right. But I'm picking Cruise over Hanks if I have to. You got to have voted because we both pick Hanks. Well, you're wrong. Yeah. You lost two to one. Um, I wanted to, can I do quickly do a couple other half-ass internet researches that I found? Yeah. And I watched this movie twice in the last two days. The second, on the second watch, there is a scene when Ventura and Einhorn kiss and they're kind of hanging out in, in her office on the desk is a banana with two apples next to it. On the desk. Like a clue. Yes. Okay. Had no idea. And then one other thing I thought was cool was that I don't know if either of you had the VHS for this movie, but it came with the Ace Ventura card in the VHS and you could like put it in your wallet. So that was cool. I did have the VHS this movie and I don't remember that. Yeah. Maybe I just didn't notice it. I don't think I got the VHS. It's a good idea. Scorsese or Spielberg? Is it bad? I kind of went Scorsese. Yeah. I voted Scorsese. A thousand percent Scorsese and I repeat everything I said about why it has to be Cruz. There's a darkness and a smugness to this character that Spielberg is just not going to tap in Tom Cruise. Hello, Satan. It's Corsese. He would make him a cocaine addict and probably the really blowed out. He's in the Miami drug scene. He would, he would have just, he would have straight up murdered the guy with the chloroform. That guy would be dead. Who'd you have for Best Tank? Where's Tank? Best Tank. I debated between Ray Finkel's mom. She was like a great time. Get some cookies. Yeah. Here's some stories about Ray. And I just think I would go out for beers after work with Roger Patekter. Just seems like a good guy cares about his job. Fun guy to be around. No nonsense. It lives in a great penthouse apartment in Miami. Yeah. I think he deserves a little love. Yeah. He thought Ein Horn was into him. I think Zach, like knowing how Zach operates when he's on these road trips when he's like, "Yeah, I'm going with the Toronto and the headscout," or like, he'd be like, "Yeah, I'm in Miami." Roger Patekter and I are getting drinks. Yeah. Roger Patekter just told me they might trade, they might trade for Jay Feetler. I had a Rebecca for Best Tank just because she's He's cute. Rebecca. I think Ace would be the worst thing. Rebecca, Rebecca, what's her name? Melissa, Cornica, Melissa. She's worth, she's on my list for worst hang. No, she's great. Come on. I'm really uninteresting. What am I going to talk to her about? You're not to talk. I get you. Apparently what I can do is just insult her endlessly and there's no repercussions at all, which I guess is creating my best hang. I'd like to spend a night with Woodstock, the guy who works underneath the concert. He's on my, hacking whaling fleets. He's on my list. That's probably a fun night with him. These movies always have a guy like that who's just, he's in one scene. He's just in some layer. Dude, weird shit. I thought you had a challenge for me. Ace. Just like, what do you do? And he's like, I'm hacking a whaling fleet. Like what? I have Ace for worst hang. I think after 10 minutes, he'd want to put a gun in your head. He's like, all right, Ace, I got it. I went, I went, I went on horn picking nits. Who fed Ace's pets all day? It's good question. There's like 20 pets in there. And he's gone for long stretches of time. Does he have a pet feeder? Pet Walker. Who's walking the dog? He doesn't even particularly seem like a really good pet owner. For how much he loves pets. Yeah. They all are jammed in his apartment. He has no money, so he can't feed them. What does that apartment smell like? Like you're bringing a girl back there. The thing must smell like freaking zoo. He kind of had no issue with the fact that that snowflake was a dolphin that they they used for show, you know? That wasn't a problem. So as you take Ace Fentaur, it didn't actually like pets that much. It was just a job. I don't know. He clearly felt the connection to him. He found a niche. I'm going to be the only the only one. That's it. It was an opportunity. Yeah. I had some of the jokes I didn't like and just the super bowl. I just like, this is a super bowl. I want to know who won the Super Bowl. Did the dolphins win the Super Bowl? Does snowflake perform at the Super Bowl? How does Marino do in the second half? I know. Like who goes to prison for this? How many people go to prison? I had had how do they get snowflake to the Super Bowl. And also the real final score was San Francisco 38 Miami 16 in the Refincle game. It cheated with that. I would have liked to have known who won this Super Bowl. Yeah. The dolphins prevail. And I guess this doesn't count. But there's no version of this movie that should not have the dolphin trainer seen within the scene. The fact that that's not in the movie anymore in no matter where you stream it is unconscionable. I'm going to say unconscionable. I had a couple. Why was Refincle a replacement kicker if he was so good? He comes in halfway through the season. But then when Jim Caret, when the ace does the research on him, two division one records, he holds the division one record from most points and longest kick. So why if he's so good, why did he get added mid season to the dolphins? That doesn't make sense. At the end of the movie, the Eagles mascot who ace punches, he's on the dolphin sideline trying to get gatorate makes no sense. Why is he over there? Infiltrating. Maybe he can't come back with some information. No clue there. There's a line at the end of the movie when they're in the warehouse and it's all going down. Maybe you guys know what's going on. Einhorn is talking to Dan Marino and she goes, "Want some refreshments, Dan?" And then she leaves to go get him what? Why does she leave? And that's why Jim Caret can bust him out. Also two classic just old-fish goons, old-fish mobster goons. It's like unnamed, just like incompetent at their jobs. Why did she hire this loser? Who are they? I don't know why she says it twice. "Want some refreshments, Dan?" Dan. No idea what that's about. And the last one is just what is Einhorn's, what is her actual plan? So she's a disgrace kicker. She goes, she goes to a menstrual institute and is like, "I'm going to break out, quickly rise up the ranks of Miami PD, become a woman, and then eventually kidnapped Dan Marino so I can kill him when the dolphins eventually make the Super Bowl?" I mean, can we stop 40% through that question? What about the part that she just became the lieutenant in this police station? Maybe she loves police work. She's just really good at it. But I'm pretty sure it takes longer to become the lieutenant. Like you're starting in the ground, you work your way up, you're an officer for years. Yeah. You become assistant lieutenant, then eventually the lieutenant. Is that the easiest way to get to Dan Marino is I need to become the lieutenant of the Miami PD? See, this is the problem is I don't think they spent more than 20 minutes coming up with a plot for this movie. And she's the weak link of the movie. Yeah, you know. Also, you can just, you can just get into a very expensive looking mental institution like show up at crazy. Do they have any money? How are they going to pay? So you're going to live there? Speaking of the mental institution, I had for a picking net. Just finds the right room with all the lowest sign horn evidence. I just sit there in a closet. No, no indication that that would be the special richest people around the box. Underrated funny scene is him trying to get into the box is a great scene. And the guy's, because the guy always comes in. That's every trope the guy comes in and he's just stuck in the box. Busting out of it's great. Why was the dolphin this important and would anyone have actually cared? I think it's important. I think I'm going to go with all the dolphins fans are more excited that their teams in the Super Bowl. And as a chance to win for the first time in 12, 22 years. I could see it becoming a scandal missing Dolphin. It's a Tuesday Super Bowl story. By Thursday, people are like, who's winning? Who do you got? Who'd you bet on? If the beloved Seahawk was stolen this week, people would probably care. Would they? Probably. Or were they talking about Drake, May shoulder, and Bell check getting sent out by the time people watch this was the Super Bowl have happened. That's right. I hope the Patriots won. Sequel, Prickle, Prestige, TV, all black cast are untouchable. They did a sequel. And they did some other stuff. I think there was a TV animated. It's impressive. I love the sequel as a kid. I think Ace coming out of the Rhino's ass is maybe the funniest moment in any ice Ventura. And I think it's remarkable that they made another movie that was somehow more offensive than the first one. They, they ratchet it up. They like double down. Why not? Why wouldn't you? You get through Ace Ventura and you're lauded for it. You're like, well, I guess you could just do anything. And I loved it. As a family troubled production. I think they might have changed directors at one point. It was one of those. The Comedy Sequels are always the disaster. All right. So is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Fergie, the florist or a million people? Normally we have Chris Ryan here doing a impersonation. I think this is the perfect time for Zach to answer the question. Is this movie better with Tom Tibito? What would his role be in the movie? What? I just wanted you to do a Tibito impersonation. What the fuck are you doing over here? He could be one of the henchmen at the end. Eyes. Eyes. Just one Oscar who gets it. We've already answered this. It's Jim Kerry. Come on. Probably an answer for questions. I only have one. Do you guys have one for this? I have a couple. Okay. We've covered most of mine. But do you have Craig? Did I and Horn and the henchmen place a bet on the Eagles? Interesting. You have to do the bookie. Yeah. Probably lower stakes. I don't think they're in it for the money. You make that bet five months in advance knowing you're going to kidnap Marina. Or even a month in advance, right? Would you make that bet right before you capture Marino before the line swings make a lot of money? I have one relating to the game. I think if Dan Marino had gotten kidnapped right before the Super Bowl, I think that's the biggest sports story of all time. I think that's the most interesting thing that ever could have happened in any sporting event is the quarterback to start to start quarterback on one of the two teams has been kidnapped. First of all, do they have the game? I don't think you have the game. I think the game is post-poned. Football stops, right? They're like, is this guy dead? What happened to Dan Marino? We have to find him. Do you think it matters which quarterback it would be? Like, like, it's like, oh, well, if my homes were canceling the Super Bowl. Well, we took this before the new Super Bowl. Yeah. If it was Drake May versus Sam, if Sam Darnal's kidnapped, they're not having the game. Either one, it's a no, it's like, we're holding off until we find Sam Darnal, right? They're not like, let's have the game anyway. Because then all that would happen is you could just kidnap the best players on other teams and, you know, bet money on the other team before you do it. Yeah. There's a pain door, a box. And the question is, is if they find him five months later, then what, do you just have the Super Bowl? Yes. Football is just, when do you resume football? It's okay. Has this happened in soccer? It must have a player getting kidnapped? Yeah. That must have happened in one of these European or Latin American soccer. What's the plot of Celtic pride, which I never saw? Isn't this the plot of Celtic pride? No, they kidnapped someone. We don't acknowledge Celtic pride. Okay. Yeah. That movie never happened. That's in the never happened movies. But yeah, I do think I do think this is the biggest story, like excluding like somebody dying or something. I think this would have been the biggest story. What else did you have for an answer most? Did Einhorn learn the talk from Buffalo Bill? You think there's some Buffalo. So Buffalo, "Sounds of Lambs" comes out 1991. I mean, there was a very strategic talk. She kind of maneuvered that. I think it was a little sounds of the lamb. You know? It's probably like a no-mush. Also, in that scene, when he exposes her chest and sees it, she has boobs and he goes, "That kind of work. That kind of surgery can be done over the weekend." But it's not overnight. Something about the word weekend and the way he says it is why that's funny. And acknowledging that if the air is a little bit of work, he's like, "That kind of work can be done over the weekend." What piece of memorabilia would you want from the movie, Zach? Or not one? I went want. Okay. The obvious one would be one of the rings. Yeah. It would be Ray Finkel's ring with the one stone. Ray Finkel's ring would just stone with the highest. That's that's selling for the most in an auction. I would like one of the Die Dan Die crocheted like coasters or whatever that grandma Finkel made. One of those or the notebook that has just laces outscrawled all over it. Yeah, I have the ring or any of that the 90s dolphins. I had the ring, but I'll tell you, it did catch my the Collar County home to raise Stinkel sign. It's a great thing. And they turn into this thing. So really if you actually look at that sign, it's really cool. That could be right there. Yeah, it's I thought about it. It's it's big. It looks like it would take up like can you buy it? Is it? I mean, they probably threw it through it through it away, right? I don't know. I don't know. It's a really cool sign. I don't know if this counts, but you could you could make because you could make it, but the mannequin with the marino jersey and the knife in the heart. Yeah, yeah, yeah, standing right here. Coach Finstack, Mr. Maggie, word for best or worst life lesson. Laces out. Yeah, laces out. I think it's you can be worst life lesson. You can be an absolute dick to this beautiful woman and still end up with her. And yeah, I can't believe we haven't talked about the machine gun of how courting was in the early night. I've never heard of it. It's negging. You heard of negging. Yeah. Yeah. And you're ugly. Why don't you cry about it? Saddle bags and then throwing out fatty, right? And she's like, she's like, I love this guy. What's happening right now? 10 seconds later, her best friend, guys. She's like, I'm in on this guy. Best double feature choice. I had there's something about Mary because I get to stay in Miami. It's a different kind of later 90s comedy, different actors. And you get far. I get far. I get both football quarterbacks. I went dumb and dumb. I also went dumb and dumb, which is just brilliant movie. Then who won the movie? Jim Carrey. Was the laces out thing known before this movie? The Scott Norwood kick was the laces out thing known at that time. I don't ever remember that the holding up the kick. I don't even know the hold. Is it a real thing? Yeah. Apparently people defend Norwood and say that the laces were facing sideways. And it's why it pushed right. I never know it to believe because they're always like, he missed that because of the high snap. And then half the time guys make it when it's a high snap. Or so this movie was the first time you had heard of like the idea of the laces being positioned in any direction. That was totally, I was totally unaware of it. And I feel like I haven't heard it since other than references to Ace Ventura. McAfee has defended this saying this is totally real. The laces do need to be out because the laces are the softest part of the football. So if you kick that, it compresses the most and can like wobble. So I don't know. Interesting. Yeah. And I wish it's incredibly impressive that the holders, apparently like even the way the ball is snapped is designed so that the laces land in the holder's hands, laces out. And then it's their job to quickly adjust if it's, if it's in the wrong direction by even a couple degrees so that it's completely, you know, 180 away from the kicker's foot. This is normally the part of the podcast when we go to producer Craig for his reaction, but he's one of the hosts today. So we don't need to do that. But we can't thank a how. Yeah, we can't thank Eduardo. Yeah. Is that cool? Your first rewatch was under your belt. How do you feel? I feel good. I feel like I submitted a list of 10 to 12 movies and you picked the silliest one by an exponential degree. I just want to put out there. I also had dog day afternoon was on my list. I ran the gamut. All right. This is just the same. He's on Netflix and on Spotify. You're on Netflix and on Spotify. Ring of Fantasy Football Show, the Zach Lo Show. I got the Bill Simmons podcast. We're back with rewatchables next week with another movie that we're going to try to pick that's on Netflix. And I do want to remind people that any in the cruisers is now available to be purchased or rented. If you ever want to know because we're going to do it in the cruisers at some point, it's finally out. I know you're excited. Yeah, I don't know anything about that movie. So this is the first. This has only been a couple of times in rewatchables history where we've bitched and moaned about a movie not being available. And then it actually happened pump up the volume. Yeah. The next one did the episode where like it's it's and then all of a sudden it magically appeared in the streamers. The next one is revenge of the nerds. You cannot find kiss a death or reconcile the differences we talked about. Sure thing, not really available. Yep, that's what you do. They're mostly from the 80s and 90s. So hopefully we'll have somewhere. Zach Lo, a true pleasure. Craig Coralbeck, great to see you. Thanks for coming out. [BLANK_AUDIO]