A Wild Game Of Never Have I Ever

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. Today we're gonna be learning about me. But we're gonna be doing it in the form of never have I ever questions. I have no idea what that really means but we're gonna find out who I am on the inside. Let's go. Never have I ever had diarrhea and vomited simultaneously. So glad we started here. I just, this calendar year had neurovirus and I've never felt like that before my entire life, honestly. I've thrown up before, I've had diarrhea before. I've just never had both of those things at the same exact time. Also coming out of me at like as fast as light. I was throwing up so hard. I was screaming. Usually I'm like quiet. I'm just kinda like, and then it comes out. But this time I was like, (screams) Greg's asking like logistically what was happening. So I'd be laying in bed and then my stomach would feel like it was filling up with a balloon. And I'm like, I don't know if this is back door or front door. So I would go to the bathroom. And then usually every time I sat on the toilet without me trying or whatever, things would come out of me. It was just water. And then I'm like, oh my God, I'm gonna throw up. So I would have to just turn around real quick and throw up into the same, it was disgusting. And I'm sorry that we're starting here, but that's my life. It was horrific. Never have they ever cried to myself within the past six months. I got really close yesterday. (laughs) I've definitely cried in the last six months. I don't know about like a cry like that, but I've like cried at shit. Six months without crying, dude. You're asking the wrong guy. I mean, at least once a month I'm getting a good crying. I think like two days ago I saw a video of a dog and it said like, this is the only dog that didn't get adopted at the adoption fucking party that they had. And they put them back in the fucking cage and I was just a wreck. But yeah, so I've cried in that way, but I haven't cried like super hard in the last six months. I don't think, thank God. Never have ever had my nipples played with. I mean, I'm an adult. People have pulled on these things. I don't wanna say people. It makes it sound like I'm out here. Just letting anyone grab them. But they have been tugged. They've been played with. I don't know what played with even is. Like is that just like someone doing this? Or you know, whatever? Like it's never been like a request of mine like yo, go after my titties or some shit. Like I've never said that. Has someone touched my nipples and pulled them and you know, whatever? Yeah. Yes. Have I ever clamped them? Dude, dude, you're horny. He's going over there like, you ever clamped them? I've probably, you know what I've done? When I was younger, put a clothespin on my nipple. Everyone's done that. That's just part of being a boy. Never have I ever smoked a cigarette. I actually haven't smoked a cigarette in my life. I've never taken a drag of a cigarette. I got clothes in Europe. And I can't say that I will go my entire life without sucking down a cigarette. But haven't done it yet. Who knows? Maybe I might not, but you know, if I'm like in Tuscany and there's rolling hills and shit and someone's like, you know, I'd be like, fuck it dude. Let's just do, let's do one. But it's never going to be something I do. I grew up very afraid of cigarettes. I thought that would make me slower. And I'm already not that fast. So if you made me any slower than I'd be pathetic out there on the fields. But I'll do one for like an Instagram picture or something and put it in black and white. So people are like, damn dude, this guy's mysterious. I'm like that. Never have I ever felt the loving touch of a man. Why is this even in here? No, I have not. I've never been loved by a man and felt the loving touch of a man. Let's get this out of the fucking way. I know there's a lot of speculation out there for whatever reason. I don't know why people are like dying for me to be gay. But I've never felt the loving touch of a man unless you count my father. I meant like how his father loves his son. I don't mean like, you know. I've never felt the loving touch of a man sexually ever. Let's make that crystal clear, okay? Never have ever gotten revenge on someone who wronged me. If I have gotten revenge on someone, it was passively, you know? In a way of like, oh, the best revenge is to like succeed or like, you know, whatever. I'm not a revenge guy. I like to actually let things go. I know that people say like, oh yeah, I know I'm over it. But then they still think about it or they like hold grudges and do whatever. Like I don't really do that. I don't, I really try to like let shit go as soon as it kind of happens. Like if I'm over it, I'm fucking over it. And I don't care. And I'm not gonna like treat you differently or whatever the fuck. There are some people that I'm like, I just don't fuck with that and I don't fuck with them as a person and I let them know that. So we're not really friends. I can keep it cordial, but I tell them I'm not your friend. But if I forgive someone, I'm forgiven. I'm over it. I don't carry shit around with me. I got enough shit to deal with. I can't fucking deal with grudges. Never have ever looked at my own booty hole in the mirror. All right, I feel like someone set me up 'cause I know I've done this. I didn't do this until I was instructed to and I know that sounds weird. When I was doing the basement yard with Danny, one day he asked me if I had ever seen my asshole and I was like, I don't think so. And he's like, go look at it right now 'cause in my room I had a giant mirror and I was like, I don't even know how to do that. He goes, bend over, look through your legs and spread your ass and look at your, look at your ass. And then I did and I saw it and I don't necessarily like love what I saw. And there was one other time, I think, like two years after that where I checked in on it and still bad, I think. It's not like horrible, it's just a butthole. It's weird, dude. I don't love looking at it. Could I draw it to perfection? No. And you know, maybe I should get re-acquainted 'cause it's been many years since I've done it. But I have done it. Will I do it again? We don't know. Maybe it's like the cigarette. Next time I'm in Europe, I'll take a look. Never have I ever done something very generous that nobody knows about. There are many things that I think I've done that are generous that people don't know about. Only the person that, you know, you're kind of helping out would know about it. I don't know if that counts. But like only that person would know and no one else knows. That's, I mean, that's all I gotta say, I guess. And you'll never know. You pigs. 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They let you know when you're buying a good ticket, when it's dark green, and it's a bad ticket if it's dark red. So you probably should steer clear of those. But I'd like to transparency there, all right? So right now, we're gonna save you some money on your tickets. Also, if you use Code Joe 2025, you will get 10% off of any tickets you buy on Seaky. Okay, so go download the Seaky cap, use that Code Joe 2025 and save that 10%. You're welcome. Never have I ever gotten beaten up or beat someone up. I don't, I've never beat someone up to have my, yo, I just whooped his ass. I don't think that's ever happened. I've definitely punched people in the face pretty good. I haven't gotten to a fight since like middle school. So like, this is with a grain of salt, I guess. There was one time specifically in middle school where my friend was getting jumped by these two kids and I ran over and I put, they were on top of my friend and I pushed them off of my friend and they like fell down and then I like ran over to one of them and I like gone on top of them and I was gonna punch him in the face. And this fucking Asian kid, his name was June Lee. This kid punched me so fucking hard, dude. I thought I got hit with like a dragon ball Z, Kamehame Hai and I just like went down and I like was on my back and I just saw my friends jumping over my body and I was like, oh my god, dude. And I found out that it was June Lee. He was like a cool dude and I just told him, yeah, you punched Matt hard and he was just, he just went like this and I was like, damn bro. Never have ever lied to protect someone's feelings. Of course I've done that. We've all done that, okay? That's just like, I think that's being polite. If you are just saying how you feel all the time, 100%, I feel like that's a little rude and it's not about being afraid and it's not about like, you know, you're like lying all the time. It's just you're taking other people into account. You know, it's kind of like you have a group of friends. There's some people you can make fun of. There's other people that you know that they're a little more sensitive to that stuff. So you don't do the joking stuff with them too often or too hard or whatever the fuck. But you're other friend who like you just do it back and forth. You make fun of them a lot, probably. It's kind of the same thing. You lie or you're like kind of like don't say exactly how you're feeling because you'd know based on someone's personality that like it may upset them or whatever. So of course I've lied to protect people's feelings before. Greg was asking what's a good situation to lie to someone. If someone's trying really hard at something and they're asking you how was that, then I would say it was good and also have some constructive criticism if I had it. But I wouldn't be like, dude, that sucked. And like that's all I'm gonna say because if they're already feeling negatively about it that they're just looking for some, you know, positive reinforcement or some criticism but like do it lightly and do it gently type of thing. Like I would be like, yeah, like it's good and whatever blah blah blah, but here's what you can do. You know, like this is you being just polite and like lighter. Never have I ever stalked someone on social media. Is there anything else to do on it besides that? What do you mean? That's the only thing that you can do on social media. That's what it's built for. That's what it's made for. It's for stalking. It's just, it is what it is. You know, it's about posting and like, you know, getting that fucking hit of adrenaline or not adrenaline. What does that dope mean? You know what I mean? One of those fucking hormones or whatever the fuck. But you post a story where you're looking a little good and you're like, oh, I just want people to see this so they can see me so I look good. And you just want that dope mean because all your dope mean fucking addict and you've been on your phone for 15 hours all day. And like this is the only way that you can feel something because you haven't been outside in a week, you know what it means? So that's what we use social media for. But then also on the other hand, you use. to stalk people. You know, you want to compare yourself to other people so that you can feel bad about yourself, but you tell yourself like, I shouldn't feel bad about myself. I shouldn't be comparing myself to people. That's what my therapist says, but you're addicted to it. So you're just on it. You're constantly comparing yourself to other people. They're better looking than me, but they have plastic surgery. And now you're saying negative stuff about them. And then you're on social media the entire time. And then you're stalking people and then you're hating on them or you're comparing, you're either comparing yourself to other people that are better than you and feeling bad about yourself or you're hating out. You're stalking people and you're hating on them to make yourself feel better. You were all dead. Well, there you have it folks. That's me in a nutshell. Okay, I hope you learned some more stuff about me. You learned that I've cried and that I've nearly shit my pants and throw up in the same pants also in the last six months. So God bless. Hope you guys learned a lot and are enjoying the videos. Don't forget to subscribe. And we'll see you next time.