A Week of Southern Men, Unmade Plans, and Getting Snubbed

Hey, it's Andy Cohen here with this week's chapter of Andy Cohen's Daddy Diaries podcast. The high highs and low lows of my life as a daddy to two kids and dozens of housewives. Joining me is always my co-host John Hill, hey John. Hey honey, sweetie, it's spring is here. Oh, thank God. I had a long way to dinner with the Southern Charm guys. And John Mayer crashed. When we ran into Julia Roberts, it was a big night. You'll hear all about that. Got my eye surgery book for next week. Working on spring bake plans, birthday party for Lucy. I was snubbed by the watchward episode's softball team and I'm working with the children on their manners. This is Andy Cohen's Daddy Diaries podcast. Monday, March 9th, 2026. Good morning everybody. It is, what is it? I think it's Monday. You know what it is girl. It's warm. It's spring. Why are you wearing a big old sweater and you look like you're bundled up? I have a twin jeans shirt under this. Okay. And I have a like zip up sweater as a jacket, which will come off shortly. I mean, kind of take it off. It's exciting. It is exciting. There's nothing like, and by the way, this don't mean we're not going to be in the same or not going to get another bomb. Oh yeah. That always happens in March. You get a surprise, no storm. I mean, but we know it's coming. I have a feeling that we are going to be broadcasting from that office of mine on a snow day one more time. One more time. Yeah. I just want to reset my expectations and say that that could definitely happen. It will happen. I remember even when I didn't live here, it would always be like surprise, March, third, however, when a day like today comes or yesterday, yesterday, I mean yesterday, I was in short, and I thanked him. It was like, I bet you were, I bet you were. You were. It was hot. Yes. I, I, yeah, it was like, it was very overcast yesterday. The sun broke through a couple times, but it was 64 degrees. And we were outside. I had a full throttle kids weekend this weekend. But also, yeah, it was just a great weekend. And yesterday, being able, I was in the playground with my kids for like four, well, I talked to, I was with there about three hours. And I mean, we brought the basketball. And he brought, you know, I mean, we were out there and he was running around with his friends and it was just glory. Yeah, it was out all day. Ah, it just makes, yeah, I tracked your progress at one point because I went home at around four to do some riding. And I, and I was like, kind of hungry. I was out on my terrace. I was like, ooh, this is too good. I was like, this would be a good cake. I was like, well, where's John? You were heading down the village. You were like on sixth avenue. You look like you were heading into so around four thirty. Were you, what were you doing specifically? Would you say for the people? Yeah, well, actually around that time, it's funny as you mentioned that I was actually headed to three lives bookstore. And as I walked out, I had gone to three lives on Saturday. Oh, no way. I had gone to my two hour gym class. I do on Sundays and I was kind of like gross, but I was running my errands and I had Pete with me and I was walking in a three lives and I hear someone scream at me. And I was like, oh, no. And I couldn't see. I had my sunglasses on, but I didn't have my regular glasses on. I couldn't see who it was. And the girl comes out of Julius yelling my name and whistling and I was like, oh, no, what's this? And then she runs up and hugs me and I realize this jessel. Hold on. Jessel from the New York Housewives knows you well enough to be coming out of Julie. Jessel, was it Julius? There's so much going on. I sat across from Jessel at Evan Roskath's first big chaos dinner in LA years ago. We became friendly. She has a guy she wants to hook me up with who's very cute. Okay. He's British. I want dual citizenship. I want to get out of here. Yeah. We've been chatting. She was a Julius with this guy. She saw me. She ran out. She looked like a billion dollars. Yes. It was production. It was ladies. Ready to go. She looks like going well. Oh, good. I'm like, of course you're at Julius. And I had walked past Julius thinking like I looked in the window. I was like, I wish I was at Julius. Did you go in and meet the guy? No, because I was from the gym. I had the dog with me. He and I have texted though. So we're oh really? You would have gone into Julius with crotch rot and two-show pussy. I'm feeling you look hot. I'm coming from the gym. I did not feel like. I had a chihuahua. I had books. I had a tote bag. Like I wasn't like. But that's the moment to lay eyes on the guy. And then I would have gone in because I would have been like, okay, let me cross this. All right. And I could be like, okay, is hot in person? Or I don't like the tone of his voice. No, I know. I should have liked the tone of his voice. Well, funnily enough, John Mayer and I had dinner on Wednesday night. I can't say John Mayer without saying it like Lucy says it, which is John Mayer. John Mayer and I had dinner on Saturday night. And he texted. He was like, what are the plans? And I said, look, I'm on my way to Julius for an early meetup with Shadybill and Chris. I go and then I was going to come and meet you. And he goes, well, could I meet you before? And I said, yeah. So John Mayer came to Julius. And that was really fun. And he had a non-alcoholic beer. And I had a real beer. Nice. All the greats were Julius. Yes. Yes, John Mayer. That is really funny. Yeah. That's where I was. Oh, man. New York housewives. It is we are in production. I read the hot cheats yesterday. Off to a strong start, feeling really good. I got to tell you, I had a night. I need to tell you about this night that I had Thursday night because it has been talked about for a few years, the idea that I would take Craig, Shep, and Austin out to dinner. It's like, OK, I want to take you guys out to dinner sometime, whatever. So it comes to be that this is going to happen last Thursday night. Now I had a party to go to after for No Me Fry who writes for the New Yorker, who John Mayer is friends with. And he was going to be at that party. And I was taking Craig, Shep, and Austin to San Vicente, Bungalow, which is a private club that I belonged to. Right. I went Friday. Were you Friday? That is crazy. Yes. OK. So I'm taking them there now at about seven o'clock. I'm meeting them at eight something at about seven. John Mayer texts me and says, what are you doing before the party? Like, do you have plans? I said, oh, I have a dinner with these guys from Bravo. He goes, oh, he said, well, maybe I'll crash. He goes, what would it be if I crashed? I go, well, look, let me just tell you who these guys are. And then you can decide. And he's like, you know what? I'm up for it. I'm coming. So I said, great. Now Austin is, I think Austin's a John Mayer fan. I know Shep is a dead fan, whatever. Craig, I have no sense of his musical interests or anything. But so John Mayer and I go and we sit down at the table. Then comes Craig first and he sits down and he's like, oh my God, he said, Austin's going to freak out when you come, whatever. When he comes and he sees you sitting here, fine. So then Craig and Shep come. I'm sorry, Shep and Austin come. And I mean, you know, they sit down and immediately they are, you know, wild the three of them together. And then they are, they get it. They start getting into it about something. And I go, you guys, like the dining room at San Vicente, Bangaloo, it's low key. It's low key. It's fancy. Low pro. There's a piano player. Yeah. I mean, elegant. Yes. Elegant and sophisticated. Yes. Like Shere. And so I go, you guys bring it down. And then Austin's like, oh yeah, yeah, we got to be quiet. You guys, come on, we got to be quiet. We got to be quiet. Like so funny. Now John is now asking them questions of at their show, which he's never seen. John's like, do you share a house together on the show? Do you, you know, John's trying to figure out what it is. Craig is like, well, they film it like a movie. And I'm like, what? They film it like a movie. You know, so what movie? There's a lot of misinformation coming around. I mean, it was just so funny. And then, and he's trying to figure it out. And like, you know, and then, you know, I mean, I mean, it was just so funny. And, and, and, um, John's like, we'll have you all ever dated the same girl on the show. Do you date girls on the show? And we're like, I'm like, they, much of his is about like the horrible things they do to girls and then how are they going to get better and improve or whatever. I mean, it was very funny. And, um, so at some point, Austin turns to John like an hour and and he goes, what do you think of us, John? Like what do you think of us? And John, and it was so funny because I was wondering myself like, what is John going to say to me on the way to this party about these three? And John goes, I think that the three of you have the most chaotic energy I have almost ever been around. He said, I do not understand your speech patterns. I do not understand. He goes, I'm not disinterested. Yeah. But he's like, it is a level of chaos that I don't, he said I don't understand your rhythms. Well, for reality stars, that seems like they've done their job. Yes, right. Exactly. It was so there in the right line of work. I mean, they are, they really are. And then so at the next table was my friend, Julia Roberts, and Diane Sawyer. And so and I had said to Julia on the way and I go, do you watch Southern Charms that she goes like sometimes? Yeah. And I said, okay. And I said, come by my table on your way out. And she could just say hi. So here she comes. So I say to them, I go, hey guys, I want you to meet my friend Julia. They all turn around. There is Julia Roberts. Now these guys, I will give it up to them. They are such Southern gentlemen. They all three stand up as quick as they can rise to bow to royalty, which they do. And then Diane Sawyer blows them away and she says to each of them, I'm Diane Sawyer. And they were like, oh my God, like we are in the presence of royalty. So it was very funny. We had a really good night. And after the party, John, John went his way. I went my way, which led me right back to the bar down the street from where I lived, the Craig and Austin and Chep were at. And we had a very spirited debrief of the night and they were in very funny form. And I think if you watch the show, you are probably wondering, well, how does that leave things with Craig and Austin? And I will say you really have to watch the reunion, but they are able to be around each other. But I would say it is a more than fraught relationship, more than fraught. So that was a really fun night. I mean, really fun. Would you order? I have to say, Shep was especially hysterical at dinner. He was very funny. What did I order at San Vicente Bonnello? Let me try to recall. I ordered the chicken and the tuna tartar. What is the amount of tuna tartar that one would have to eat to be eating too much mercury? Would it have to be like five minutes? You could eat something like that. If I ate tuna tartar at dinner, by the way, I deleted chat GPT and I got clawed. Me too. Yes. Sarah Jessica told me about it. And I got it. Did you transfer everything from chat GPT? Well, you know, I didn't have a relationship with my chat GPT. It might have known more than you think. Well, it probably did, but I deleted it from my phone. And I never said, my name is Andy. Right. I never did that. I did that with clawed. So because I was like thinking, how is it that a 13-year-old has made these accusations against the president of the United States and it's not the number one story everywhere. And there's like a total diversion going on. And then I was like, I might need to talk to Claude about where these allegations are before I start talking about that. It seemed odd. Jordan, you look like the cat that ate the canary. No, I just wanted to tell you that six to nine ounces per week of raw tuna is considered excessive. I think steak is fine. So you should eat one four to six ounce serving weekly. That was safe. Well, then there you go. Then I would say, do not eat more than, well, no, but this week I had tuna though. I had set, she just said, you did tuna tartar. I did mind who I did. So I probably had like over a pound of tuna tartar. Yeah. So just lock it up for the rest of the week. That's overly excessive. A pound is a lot. Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying. Wouldn't you say two orders of tuna tartar would be a pound? You ate the whole serving? Yes. Ma'am, okay, you didn't share that with the table. No, I didn't. And also I had some tuna sushi at the NBC executive dining room. Okay. Yeah. So that was a bad week. Calm down. Too much mercury. Yeah, a typical serving of tuna tartar ranges from four to eight ounces. Okay. So you're in that pocket. There you go. Switch off with steak tartar. Went to a great Chinese. I don't eat steak tartar. Went to a great Chinese restaurant with SJP last night in Chelsea. But I don't want to say the name of it because I don't want to blow it up because she's always there, but it's really good. And I'm going to give you the name of it because you need a great Chinese restaurant. I do. I ordered that from that place that Sandy Bernhard recommended for Christmas Eve. And what was that? If you get the name, it was it was great, but it was far. Okay. No, this is in your neighborhood. I know which one it's not. It's not the one on eighth Avenue. No. Oh, man, that was rough. Okay. And I had a great dinner at with my kids before I went out with Sarajasaka last night. I just I had so many things to do with the kids this weekend. A lot of commitments, which is why also I actually was not able to go to Robert Jr's service on Saturday in Salt Lake City. I got a full report though. And I hear it was an absolutely incredible ceremony. It was Pentecostal. And besides the Salt Lake City Housewives and production team, I know that Cynthia was there and Shiree was there and Kyle Richards was there, which was just I love it that they went. I think that is so kind. They are real ones. I know it was three and I hear that the service was so uplifting and so moving and absolutely kind of rapturous and Mary was on one. I mean, in a spiritual way. She was spiritually on one. Let me say that. And Robert Sr. spoke and was apparently Kyle said Robert Sr. was unbelievable. So there you go. Took the kids to kids morning at the Whitney Museum yesterday, which was really great. Didn't know how they were going to react. But then they thought it at first and then they were compliant and they were all these art projects and we did them together and that was really fun. They wanted to eat at the cafe at the Whitney. But I was like, it's like undive salads. Like you're not, you do not want this food. They went mental. I was like, we're running home. We're going to eat food and then we are running to the playground. Like it is a pit stop at best. Lucy cried the whole way from the Whitney home, like screaming crying. And I was like, I remember that going to museums was always like I did enjoy it. And it was kind of a roller coaster. You say undive. I think it's supposed to be on deep. Undive. Undive. I love an undive chip. You know, like instead of a regular tortilla chip, like a Jo Allen, you can get an undive chip. Oh, interesting. Yeah, delicious. Interesting. I watched Rhode Island Housewives. You did? Jordan and I were texting. Yeah. I think it is a blockbuster show. I am somewhat of I've been saying it's great. Jordan, did you watch too? I watched the first two episodes. I saved the second one. I want to build them up. I think this is a good group. It's a great group. You can see the dynamics of kind of like the older gals and the younger gals. Yes. Alicia is so funny. She likes crackers. I'm still learning everybody. I mean, like it's hard to learn. Housewives across the board have always taken a long time. I still sometimes like who's Lee Subarla, who's Meredith like sometimes they just blend together. Yes. And this one, especially they all look the same. They're also like all Asian, all black, all white, all the time. I don't know what they are because they all have this surgery. They look great though, but I don't know what race they are. It is. It is. It is. It is. Delores. It is. Delores are like twins. Well, they have. Well, it looks like Casey Rose Wilson. And, um, and, and, and, uh, Kelsey and Rosie look exactly alike. Yeah. But it is very normally that's a deterrent, but I'm into it and I'm interested in learning more. And Ashley, I, who was from the bachelor nation. Yes. Yes. Is on it with her husband, which is I find very funny. Because that was my sweet spot. I love Ashley. I was watching Ashley. I and Jared. I'm the real person. I loved her. Yeah. That was like the only time I watched that show was them. And their relationship is funny. And I feel like she doesn't really tell like the real story on housewives of their relationship. Uh, you kind of, she would like chase him for years. Oh, no. She was like obsessed with him and like, yeah, he was like dating other people and he wasn't interested. And then they finally met up together and have kids that they're happily ever after. Did not know that. Yeah. Okay. But it's good. Very interesting. A lot of drama. All right. Tuesday March 10, 2026. Good morning, everybody. I'm Andy Cohen. With John. Hey, John. Good morning. It's springtime in New York. There's a, there's a, there's a, I don't know. Something in the air. It's good. Spring in your stuff. Well, I was going to say spring at my stuff, but I got to tell you something. You know what Ben Cohen and I have been doing since springtime. We have been skipping together. Okay. Down the street. I'm about to make a gare holding hands. Well, that's not gay. That's just sweet. I think it's good. We're skipping is actually a wonderful exercise. There's these like bodybuilders who are like, Hey, get to skip in on the treadmill. Guess what? He, it was his parent teacher conference the other day last week. The conference day. So he had a half day and he came with me to the gym. And on the way to the gym, he goes, Daddy, this is how it started. He goes, Daddy, let's skip. And I said, Okay, I go, let's skip together because you'll skip with me. I go, Yeah, I go, you know, we have to hold hands. He goes, Yeah, of course. And like we held hands and we were skipping. And I mean, we got there quicker. We had just, by the way, we would skip for a block. He's like, Okay, Daddy, like I need a break. Hold on. And then we would skip again. It was really good. And we're the first human is who invented skipping me too. Can you imagine some caveman like, Oh, wait, I just think it was Britney Spears. I just invented something. Yeah. It's like trotting, you know, horses can run. They can walk in that in between little skipby skip. Yeah, it's like a trot, little trotty trot. I had the trots last night. Oh, God, that's disgusting. I'm going to the dentist today. Oh, no, I'm trying to figure out a little just for a little chain cleaning. Yeah, just polish up those new veneers. Oh, wait, you know what? We influenced, we were very influential. We influenced Mark shaman to get his ears waxed at European wax center. He said he was following an hour. Yeah. That's how that's the power of you and I. Jordan, you have some information. Oh, I just googled the history of skipping and apparently Egyptians invented it. Oh, yeah, the athletes as part of their conditioning routines or maybe the aborigines of Australia. The history is a little dicey, but it's been around since the 16 1600 BC. I was reading about Iran's role that they played in the invention of chess. They invented the concept of checkmate. They invented well, hopefully they're going to checkmate the US military. I would, you know, I would say that's ironic to count them out. You know, they did literally invented the act of John spits facts. Yeah, verified that. Anyway, if you see a gray herald man and little boy skipping down the street, make room, make way, you know, yeah, make way. God, by the way, I forgot to say another thing that Austin that happened that night with those southern charm boys, Austin pointed out that he and I kind of have the same voice. We both have the same like vocal fry, which is not good, not great. No, you know what I'm saying? It's not amazing. Jordan, I mean, it's not nothing, but that does explain why you sound just like when you go Madison. Exactly. That's what he was saying. He was like, you know, because you kind of sound like yourself when you say Madison. Yeah, it comes to you too easily. I'm not doing anything when I say that. Madison, Madison. That's just me. Yeah. Oh, God. That's bad. Maybe I'll talk to my dean. I showed, uh, I showed S.J. my new veneers at dinner the other night, Sunday night. She gave him a good review. So there you go. She hadn't seen him yet. I don't know that we had marked them in our, she had seen that. She hadn't done a close examination of that. I don't know what I mean. Yeah. So I take luck. As we get older, the amount of pills we take on the daily, what are your supplements? Increases. So I now take, this is not amazing. I'm going to take you through my pills that I take. Okay. I'm going to have opinions. They say you should not be taking as much as like the world would like you to believe because I'm trying to sell you one stuff. Okay. So I take new in the last year, I take something for my cholesterol. It's like a salt pill. Dr. Prescribe. Dr. Great. Everything's Dr. Prescribe. So I take that. I take, so that's a morning pill. I take, I cannot believe I'm taking you through my, oh no, this is my kind of thing. Okay. Okay. So I take that. I take prep discofi, which is a anti HIV medication that most many gay men in America take that is prevents HIV. If you come in contact with it, it is a shield for HIV and many would say it is the wonder drug that the gay community and beyond was wanting for years. Now, by the way, there are efforts within the current administration to make this drug not covered by insurance companies in order just to punish, fuck with and punish the gay community. So that's a whole other conversation because it's also a global domino effect because it's not just gay men, it's women, it's anybody. Yes. Exactly. So just so I take those two items, we should switch to apitude though. Okay. Well, that's another conversation. So I take those two things and then twice, this is my morning pills. And then twice a day, I take a vitamin D pill because my blood tests have shown that I need more vitamin D by doctor said. So I take those vitamin D supplements one in them. So that's in the morning. At night before bed, I take propitia, which is to freeze the hair on your head. But then I've noticed as full and gorgeous of a sometic head of hair that I have, there are pockets of there are some pockets that I'm not comfortable with. So my Dermo, my hot Dermo, who I ran into in the wild at the Whitney on Sunday. And I met his wife and I introduced myself to her as your husband's favorite patient. Well, neither she nor her husband was used by that characterization. I was like, Oh, okay. Anyway, that's a side note. He just prescribed me monoxidil. I'm on that too. Okay. After my hair transplant. So you know, monoxidil causes hair loss for the first six weeks. But and the hair that you are losing are the weak hairs. And then stronger hairs grow in. Yeah. I love it. Did you notice the first six weeks that you took it that you're saying that looking back at the photos, it was I remember it's going like, Oh, damn, I'm glad I had that hair transplant. Right. Well, choppy for a while. This monoxidil, I'm noticing I'm like, Oh, wow. Like it's definitely sick with it. It's worth me of that. I asked Claude about it. My new AI buddy and all good on normal. And then I take my evening vitamin D. But that is a total of six pills. You're missing one huge one. Hold on, I bought a year ago one of those plastic things that I never thought I would have in my life that is a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, pill container that I've only seen the elderly and my parents use. And on Sundays, I spend five minutes dispersing through my little pills, and I fill out my container because by the way, I'm often leaving town for a night or whatever I like to know. Now, it comes to be, it comes to pass that my little kitty cat Larry, aka Lucy Cohen, is often in my bathroom at my feet watching me either when I am dispersing the pills on a Sunday, or when I am taking some, and she always has so many questions about me. Are you taking your pills, Daddy? Are you taking your medicine? What does it taste like? Did you take it yet? Whatever, and it's so cute. And yesterday, she was watching me because I was doing it late. She was watching me fill up the container. And the entire reason that I am saying this is, that I think that I always kind of looked at my parents and all of their pill containers and felt, I don't know if I judged them, but I just was like, oh boy, you know, they're old like they have to take a lot of pills. But I have to say, I have noticed that I take, I, I don't know if I take pride in my pills, but I want to say that I feel good about why I take each of my pills, and they are all doctor recommended, and I feel like this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now in my life. I like my pill container. That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah, that's exactly. You shouldn't feel any other way, but that's your self-care. I take, I just want my highlights of my day. Every night, I set them out for the night. I set them out for the morning so they're ready. And so do you have one of those pill containers? I was influenced on Instagram to get like a brutalist, chic, sleek container. That shit didn't forget it. I don't, I take all the ones you take plus a few. The big one being Omega 3's, which you really need to start taking. Okay, yes, yes, that is true. That's the big one. That's the big one. Like from brain health. And for everything, you need to take a lot of that. Oh wow, okay. And those are big, so they don't fit in those things. So I have just, Well, you get a bigger one. Right, well, I just have a Tupperware container and I just dump everything in there and every night. And then you take that out. Yeah. Okay, well that makes sense. Yeah. I used to travel with it when I took a few less pills. Right. Because I added vitamin D. What I used to do is I used to have this silver, beautiful silver tray, which is still there on my counter. And I would just dump them on the silver tray. And in the morning, I would just pick out the pills that I need. I have a, I have a set of pottery barn measuring cups that I don't use. And they're like just one size and one size. Yeah, okay. And the nighttime goes to the big ones I can put that in the cupboard and then the next one. Anyway, I also take siallus every morning for hair stimulation. That is bullshit. It's not what? Yeah. And are you walking around breakdop all day? With siallus, it's more of an optional thing. Like if I happen to be calm erect, then that's that. But you know, Viagra makes you erect without kind of, you kind of can't help it. I can say I was to be more mild and it's more for circulation. Interesting. Well, that's interesting. Okay. Well, I, I just want to say I have embraced my pill container and I like it. So you're, you feel fine about the pills I'm taking. Absolutely. You should be taking more. Okay. All right. Okay. Actually, I may need to go got a new one because I think my Thursday won't shut all the way for some reason. And those vitamin D pills are big. So they're kind of, I have a, I have a wee little thing. So I've been, I don't want to move to a bigger size because it then feels like I am that elderly and I do like to travel with this thing. Anyway, it helps you. It helps you. I love how clueless children are about the day the week often. You know, like Ben will be like, is it the weekend? Like they're, they're like so now Ben firmly not only knows the day, but he knows the date and I got him this newbie calendar for next to him. But Lucy Larry is often like she is in the clouds that girl. She's also in the cloud. I mean, she'll walk into a lamp post. I mean, she does not look where she is going. I kind of worried for this girl. She's not even looking at her phone. She's not looking at nothing. She's not looking at shit. You know what she's looking at? The pavement as it hits her face because she's not going in the direction. Like I'm like, I cannot. She didn't get a milkshake at bus stop cafe the other night because she stepped out into the street. And I say to her, I'm like, Lucy. Look both ways. She's like, okay, daddy. And she kind of pats me on the head. I'm like, don't cuddle me. Like, you're, this is, this is bad. This is bad. Anyway, I have no update on Lucy's birthday party. Where Darren was looking for cat cafes. I'm now, we were at a birthday party at Chelsea Pierce. You know, yet another birthday party at Chelsea Pierce, the amount of time that I spent at Chelsea Pierce is next level. Ben's like, oh, we're going back there. I hate it there. I go, Ben, you live there. Like you wanted to set me up with one of your coaches. By the way, we were at this birthday party and I was born and go, Ben, you all, you all might recall that one night before a bedtime, Ben was like, did I tell this? That he was like, hey, I know who you should date. He goes, there's this really cool coach that coaches gymnastics at Chelsea Pierce. He goes, I'm telling you, daddy, he's so handsome, but he's really cool. Like he's so cool. You would love him. I go, well, Ben, I don't even know if he likes boys and I think he's too young. He's like, I'm going to, I'm going to find out, daddy. I'm like, I'm in love with my gymnastics teacher. You have a gymnastics teacher. Yeah. What? You won't give me that. No, you don't. I do. Well, what? You take gymnastics like a little eight year old? Yeah. No, you don't. It's not, I mean, I don't know if it's like an eight year old, but it's at my gym. John, what is the class called? Gymnastics. What? Why are you also freaked out? This is what you do. Do you do like a jet-b bouncy house? No, you learn to do muscle-ups walk on your hands. Wow. Can you walk on your hands? No, I'm not good at it. I know where your eight feet tall. It's hard. Yeah. Are you doing any tumbling on a mat? Not a lot. No, not like that. Yeah, that's what Lucy and Ben do. They tumble. Complicated. See look right there. See that? What does that say? Gymnastics. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so I, you know, I may do a birthday party. You know what? I may just get a freaking room in a boom box and say, "Here, I'm putting on K-pop. You kids dance." You know, I don't know. But it's coming up. I need to figure it out. These parents are so organized. And I'm not. But Ben, I was meeting them at a birthday party the other day and the babysitter texted and said they're both refusing to participate. That one at Chelsea Pierce. I go, "You tell them that if they don't participate, I'm not coming to the party." Like, I'm not participating if they don't. She was like, "Oh, that worked." She goes, "He's in the bouncy house and she's on a tricycle." I'm like, "Oh, yes, it did." So that was good. I also don't know what we're doing for spring break. Jordan, what are you doing for your spring break with your children? I'm actually hosting my sister's family for spring break. In New Jersey? I. Westchester? I'm sorry. In New Jersey. Yes, yes. Did they live in Wisconsin? They live in Denver. Oh, right. So they're coming. So I'm hosting. How many are them? How many children? Two kids. Do your kids know their kids? Yes, yeah. They all get along. It's great. Okay, well that'll be fun. Everything will be in your town. It'll be more fun to do because they're two visitors. Yeah, might do Lego land. Speaking of Lego land, we were talking about that yesterday. Where's Lego land? There's one in New York actually. So you wouldn't even have to go to San Diego. In Goshen. How far is it? It's like an hour and a half from the city. - Oh my god. - If you can't do that, just find like a B-hive and hit it with a stick. - Yeah, there you go. - Kids love that. - Run around. - I am thinking of doing a little surf and turf spring break, because we have a long one. They're off the Thursday before Easter and then the whole following week. So it winds up being like 10 days. So I'm thinking of going to Aspen for like five days at the very end of this season and just getting them like kitty lessons. - Aspen's fun even if you're not skiing. - Oh, I agree. - As you know, as we know. And then straight from Aspen to like Miami or somewhere hot, that's what I'm thinking of doing. Any thoughts? - Posh had mentioned one of you to come to Miami over Easter. - Yes. Oh my God, this is huge. I think that my cataract surgery is now happening in March. - That's where in March. - Oh, great. On the 19th, 'cause I cleared my calendar. Oh, this is great. I guess he's not going to Dubai. That handsome guy. - Okay, I don't be going to Dubai, right? - Right. - Oh, this is big news. - Okay, let's see if I can do that. - I'll get my vaginal rejuvenation surgery then. - I, spoiler alert, we did have an email in the mail bag but why you're texting about it. Someone did say ask the doctor, the eye doctor, how soon after surgery you can fly. - Yeah, that's true. Okay. - Because I think there is a time period. I think if you fly too early, you'll like really do some damage to your eyeballs. - Yeah, well that's next week. Okay, I don't, oh, I have a flight. Yeah, definitely ask. I have a flight a week later. A week might be okay, but just make sure. Like I know some tragedy that has happened. Yeah, because there's has to do, I know one part of it is like blood thinners and altitude, like I know someone who had broken their leg and then flew too quickly. And like they have to, even if you are going to travel, they have to give you maybe special medication. - It's either thin your blood. - Yeah, because things happen to your body when you're flying. Just be very upfront with them and clear about when you'd like to travel and can you. - Okay. (upbeat music) - Back with more from this week's daddy diaries, after this. Wednesday, March 11th, 2026. - Hey John. - Good morning. Girl, you rolled in about one minute ago. - You know what, the F-trains was a little slow today. And the elevators here at the Series X and Building, there was something just moving the vibe is off. - I can't believe you said that. I forgot my ID again, I can't find it. And so I went to the desk and you know, now I have my little wallet slip, so I carry my ID everywhere with me as you taught me to do last year. And I got a visitor pass and I'm walking to the elevator bank. And this girl came up and she goes, are you Andy Cohen? I go, yeah, she goes, oh my God, like she was excited. She goes, can I have a selfie? I go, yeah, and she goes, wait, do you broadcast from here? I go, yeah, and she goes, well then why do you have a visitor pass if you broadcast from here? I go, just-- - Long story. - Don't worry about it. - Times clock sticking. - We take this selfie and she spills my T over me. And she's like, oh my God, wait, I'll get a napkin. I go, this is, we're done. This visit is done. - I would have slapped. - So then I go and I get in the thing, get in the elevator, and it's not going to 36. And then I get out at 32. I press 36. - You gotta go all the way back down. - Access tonight. - Access tonight. - This bitch had to go all the way back down. And then I had to go all the way back up. - That's the beginning when it says, access tonight, I have texted Jordan a bit like, well I'm stuck. I can't get up. But if you go all the way back down, you can get back up. - So fun. - And then of course I was running late and there was old bitch with a cane and I'm just like, "I'm just like, I'm not able to, I'm not able to, "but I just like, you know, I couldn't, "is hard to maneuver." - Oh, it sounds like you are. - Okay. - I mean, Ben was doing his old man routine the way this girl did it. He was like, I'm an old man. I'm an old man. And I'm like, Ben, you know, and he's like, well, and then he's like, I'm Paul because my dad is old. - This is all how they processed. - I know, no exactly. And I was like, okay, play it out. And then he was like, and now I'm, get over here. And he's like, you know, 'cause Ma's really bossy. I'm like, okay, well, listen, he's got to vibe. What can I say? - Maybe he's a performer. Maybe he should do improv. - Yeah, exactly. It is springtime, you guys. I gotta tell you something. Aren't you so happy? I mean, it hasn't changed. - Yes. - Everything. - Yes. - Jordan, are you objectively happier? - So much happier. - Even Scott. - Scott? - I am thrilled. I am ecstatic. Couldn't be happier. - Okay. - Well, that was a little fishy. - That was a little Valerie Cherish. I got it. That was crazy. - In all sincerity, no, I am really happy that the weather's gotten nicer. - Good. Well, me too. I mean, it's just a game changer. I mean, Ben came home yesterday. I was out on the terrace doing a Zoom. And first of all, just to be on the terrace doing a Zoom. And he runs out. He goes, "Daddy, I had the best day of my life today." I'm like, "Ahh!" - Yeah. - Wow. I mean, I have to put my AC on. Last night I had to do the one leg out of the comforter. - Move. - Oh yeah, John and I are big. One leg out. - One leg out. Well, guess what I did last night. Well, last night I had a very long night at what's what happens live. And it ended with I had him pour me a motion for the live show. Well, I woke up. - Oh, real good. And I got a roadie and I came home. I really can't unhear the fact that I sound like Austin Crawl at this point. Like Madison. - Chef, you just don't cry. I mean, that's what I sound like now. Anyway, Audrey. - Anyway, so I went home and I mean, you can tell because I posted a little tipsy Instagram story for my terrace thanking the W Hotel for dimming that light 'cause it's still dim. But I mean, it's just a game changer. I slept. I have two doors in my bedroom. These two gorgeous glass doors that lead out to my terrace. I slept with my doors wide, so nice. It was just, I have one window. - Do you think that, do you think that dust comes in in the night? Yes, really? - You live in a polluted hellhole. - Okay, but I'm like 18 stories up. - Sweet. It don't matter. - Dust don't care. - Dust don't care. - Wow. - Anyway. - I mean, you're fine. You have just keep her coming dust. - Yes, I had a new housekeeper comment. It was wonderful. - Oh good. - Did you like her? - Loved her. - Not to get personal, but did you fuck her? - Well, I hired her from Bangamade, so I did. - Right, right, right. - Of course. - Any part of you that thinks, I fuck her. - Every time, every time. 'Cause it's like, you don't do. - Yes, I do. I mean, I think the people that I have had, I feel like there's a little open window. Like kind of like, there's a possibility, like if we both had shown interest, maybe. Scott, have you ever had a sexual feeling about your housekeeper? - I don't have a housekeeper, but if I did, probably. - Okay. This lady is so chill and cool. Jordan, do you worry about your husband and your housekeeper? - No, I'm curious what housekeepers you're hiring, 'cause anyone I've had are just like nice, like older gals. - Oh, no, no, no. - I'm very homely. - I don't wanna be with my housekeeper, no. They're a couple. - Are you a dormant in my building that I'm like, go and tap though. - Yeah, there's a couple, you have a couple of hot dormant. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, don't sleep on my dormant. Anyway. (laughing) Yada, yada, yada. Kyle was on watch, would have been five last night. Kyle Cook. - That was interesting. - Oh yeah. - Yeah, Danny Pellegrino was on. He was like, he was a good copilot. He was like, did you do this? Did you do that? It was a good episode. - I'm up to date on Summer House. - It's good. - And I watched Ladies of London. - Is it? - Oh man. I knew it was gonna be good because some of my bitchiest friends who hate everything out of the blue were like, are you watching Ladies of London? - It's really good. - I watched both episodes and I have to say, I paid attention to 90% of it, which for me watching a TV show is huge. - We have a Ladies of London surprised tomorrow night on Watch What Happens Live. Just so you know. - Bangers in MASH? - Bangers, no. I mean, some of the cast members, you know. - I'm very in. I'm very, very, very in. - Yes. - Between that and Rhode Island, like you guys, Bravo is really entering. - I knew Aira. - I agree. - I agree, it's big, it's big. Have you seen Ladies of London let, George? - Yes, I have. - And? - I like it. I was a really big Ladies of original, Ladies of London fan, so I sort of miss my old girls, but I really like this new group. I think it's gonna make it. - I get the sense that this is way better than the last. - I think it is to me. - There was a Kitch factor with the original one that is part of why John and I loved, like Game of Crowns, was sort of like a little bit of that, and like the music was so funny. - It's funny, man. - So this is so legit. - This is very legit. - And Lady Emma, who has long-lead, the manner with like the zoo, that's the largest. - She's the only African-American royal. - Yes, dignitaries. - So let me tell you that I was at, I was in the Bahamas last year, and there's this gorgeous woman of color in a bikini who was so hot, and me and my friends were like, who is this hot woman? Like we were just talking about her. She had us a buzz. We just were paying attention to her. So on day two or three of our trip, she came up to me and she said, I just wanna introduce herself. She said, I may be on a Bravo show. Now, the amount of people that come up to me and say that, and usually they're totally full of shit, or they're trying to get on a Bravo show, or casting reach out once for a show that never happened, or it just, so I was like, okay, and she's like, my name is Lady Emma, and, or she probably didn't say Lady. She was like, I'm Emma, I this, ladies of London, I text Bravo, and they're like, wait a minute. My phone lights up. They're like, she hasn't signed her deal. We love her. - Lock it in. - Please, if there's anything you can do it, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna make this my mission, and I was like, I de-embed her, I go, we need a talk. This is a very good idea. So, we, I would like to think that I help close that deal. - Yeah, you see, and there she is, and I just think she is so impressive. - I love her. There's a lot of people, and I was gonna mention Jordan, and I think the reason I like Rhode Island so much is 'cause it reminds me of Game of Crowns. - Yeah. - So, we had a little incident at Watch What Happens Live last night, or two days ago, I get a text from my PA, Nelson saying, would you like a shirt that the Watch What Happens Live softball team will be wearing? - What? - And if so, what size? - There's a softball team. And I said, how interesting that you are asking me if I would like a shirt for the softball team as opposed to asking me if I want to play. - Yeah, what is this? - On a softball team. - Who do they play? Like Good Morning America? - They play Saturday Night Live. - Good Morning America. - Sesame Street, Seth Meyers. - All the New York Chos. So, he was like, oh, yeah, I don't really know the backstory. So, I go in yesterday and we're rehearsing in the good parole room. And I say to Rocco, who's like the resident, jock, whatever I go, do you think that I am so bad at softball that you wouldn't even consider asking me to play for the team that would not exist, where it not for I and I whose name is going to be on the jerseys of the team. And he's like, it wasn't me. It was someone else. - Maybe they thought you wouldn't want to be on it. - Not that you were bad. - There's a long history of me not being asked to participate in the game. - Oh, Jordan, you remember this? - Yes. Well, it's come up before even here. I think because people assume you won't want to do it. - So they don't ask you, but you are I know her. - Then your time playing ball on the windows. - I would see online that, oh, watch what happens live. They all volunteered somewhere at a food bank and I'll text your draw. I'm like, hey, yo, thanks for asking me. I would like to be included and Deirdre would be like, oh my god, my dad, my bad, not my dad. But Deirdre, by the way, has become, I'm the first person she now goes to and says, we're thinking about doing this. Can we work around your schedule for a day? Whatever, anyway, we're good. But so I was like, so then the person in question comes in the control room and he's like, I'm really sorry. I get any felt that he was too nervous to ask me if I wanted to be a part. And I said, well, all you have to do is ask Deirin and she'll give it to you straight or she'll say to me, do you want to do this or whatever. And FYI, well now that I come to find out that there are too many people on the staff who want to play, it's only like 10 or 12 people. - You can be an alternate. - So maybe that's why he didn't ask. But I said, guess what? Not only am I playing. I won't be there on the first game. We are playing Saturday Night Live in the season opener. And it's on the great lawn in Central Park. How fun does that sound? It sounds like something you would think was fun. - Oh, here's the deal. I don't like baseball. - And Deirin now has put all the games in my schedule in my calendar. And I don't know that I'll be at all the games and everyone needs to have an opportunity. But I think it would be fun to show up at least for the first game. - I did the Broadway league with hairspray. - Yes. - I mean, yeah, okay, exactly. So like, I'll be there. We'll see. I mean, Nick Rizzo is playing. I'm sure that he and I have similar I-hand coordination issues. But like, you got a good dikes on that team 'cause that's where you're gonna win. - We don't have a, well, we should see if Deirin will play. - You need to get some lesbians up in that team. Come on. - That's a small game. - You can't just be you and Nick Rizzo. You're all gonna lose. - No, I know. Tell me about it. But, um, yeah, so stay tuned. Watch what happens live. Instagram. Softball team. I mean, oh, and then they all win. And then they came in and someone came in and said, "Hey, I just wanna run the jerseys by you and see if you like this design." I'm like, "Okay, now you guys are over compensating." Like, you know, I like it looks fine. But I mean, you know, then I was like, "Everyone is so terrified of me that you can't ask me to be on the team." I mean, I mean, wow. Maybe I should go to therapy. Maybe the serious XM crew can have a frisbee team or a hacky sat crew. - Well, ultimate frisbee team. - Let me tell you about a group of people. - A beautiful, terrible and baseball. - Softball. - The radio. - Okay. - Hey now. - I mean, I'm not an ableist. - But we could enter the Special Olympics, and we'll lose the league. - Yes, the Special League. The Radio League. Radio people. (laughing) - We'll clean up. - Now, something called. - Participation, Trofe. - Something caught my eye on page six today. And that is that, apparently, and I was like, this is the only story I care about. There was a private screening for like 30 or 60 or 70 members of the Jackson family. Of the Michael Jackson movie. Did you read this? - A brawl broke out. - Between Janet and Nger. - In germane. - The movie ended. - This is all going crazy saying, oh, it's so good. Janet stood up and was basically-- - Oh hell no. - This is not good. All this stuff now, it's germane son Jafar, who stars in the movie. - I mean, can I say after that trailer, I thought, yeah, I would stand up and say, this is not good too. - Oh, really? - I think it looks terrible. - This is gonna be interesting, but Janet, and then germane told Janet, stop with your jealousy, Janet. - Oh. - Like-- - Now where was this? Like at the Glendale Galleria? - No, I think it was probably in some screening room with the studio, but I want to know, who's the leaky one on the Jackson squad? - This will be great for the movie. - You think? - It's great press, yeah. Now we're talking about it. - I don't think Janet hating the movie is good for the movie, we'll talk to. - Well, I don't think it's-- - People love Janet. - People do love Janet. I'm on Janet's side, just after the trailer. - Right, I thought-- - I thought, absolutely not. - Very interesting. It was kinda like, don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining vibes. I don't know, like what are you trying to sell me? It looks like a, I don't know. - What are you looking at me like that? - Your tits, what are your tits? - Oh, they look good. - Yeah. - Just for the record, I have never wanted to bang my maid. But I like, oh, but there was a, oh well. There was, oh, what? - I don't think I can tell this story. I'm not gonna tell it. - I had a task rabbit come over one time in Brooklyn and he was like a young cute man just doing like a side hustle. And first of all, the worst housekeeper in the world, like could barely operate a broom. - And. - And I was, he was here good, 'cause, sir. - I did not, he was not my type. Well, let me just say that what I will say is this. There was a janitor at 30 rock in the day that I had a heavy flirt going with. And he was a married Dominican guy, married to a woman. And nothing happened, but it was intense. It was intense. I wonder too. What floor was he on 46? It was real clean. 69th floor. He would come in my office and get that trash can. Empty. Mop it up. Oh, yeah. Anyway, I dig. Janitor, that's a hot fantasy. Honestly, it is uniform. Have you ever hooked up with a cab driver? I know I never have in all these years. Yeah, I know a lot of friends would have. I got in a common. Have you hooked up with an Uber driver? I've had offers. Yeah. Oh, I've put it out there like not so direct. Let me say this. I flirted with Uber drivers, especially in LA. They're like young musicians. You know, actors, whatever. I mean, they're side hustle. Side hustle is right. Wow. Anyway, you know what the problem is? The longer you're on the radio, the more you say. I was thinking the same thing. Every now and then you have to check yourself. What are you putting out here to be documented? It's true. And I've got family listening. My sister listens every day. I think you're doing fine. Just a little flirt. Just a little flirt. Just flirt. Yeah. Anyway. Thursday, March 12, 2026. I'm Andy Cohen in New York City. Woo! We are eking out. You know, here's the deal, John. It was nice this morning, but it's going to be a lot of fun. It was nice this morning, but it's going to get real cold. How cold? It's going to go down to 34. That's not that bad. I know. I put my big, heavy coats in the back closet. I had my outdoor shower reinstalled yesterday. Reinstalled. Well, we shut it down for the winter. It turned off the water. Yeah, we, we, yes. And now my guy said there's a problem with the shower. I have something to pitch to you. Okay. I feel like as a group effort, we should, we should listen to Liza Manelli's autobiography. Oh, that's interesting. I think it's the spring time. Mama. It's the time. Mama. We just make selects. Mama. I think I'm going to discuss it. I just think it's on brand for us, right? I think that's probably it. We did Barbara. We sort of did share. You know what? You know what? You know what? John. And you know what else? Yeah. Yeah. I think we should go to it. When does it come out? It yesterday. Oh, really? Yes. Oh, great. Okay. I've already got it loaded. Oh, really? Good, because I am flying to Los Angeles today for the Beverly Hills Housewives reunion. I think if we play our, uh, Jazzy Cards, right? I think we could get her ass in the studio. Oh, it's not going to happen. No, Anthony's been working on it. It's a whole thing. Yeah, that's, it's not going to happen. But I do love the, so are we starting, are we starting today? The book? Yeah. Everybody, everybody download it. Jump in. Great. All right. Okay. Fun. Book club. Um, yeah, that's great. Okay. Something to do. Yeah, something to do. We had Shep Craig in Austin on Watch What Happens Live. Um, last night was so fun. We played a game where we had, we were like, it was a mystery ex-girlfriend. And so we had a board with like 15 of their ex-girlfriends all on the board. That's so good. One of these women is standing by on Skype. You have to say, yeah, ask, yes or no questions. And then we will reveal who it is. And we'll keep taking people off the board based on your answers. So the looks on there, I want to see a meme of the looks on their faces. When I announced who the winners, I mean who the winner, what the game was, they were terrified. It was so funny. It was so funny. Um, anyway, could you imagine if we got Paige to do that? Oh, you're a Paige. You want to do this? Um, yeah, we didn't. Anyway, so good game. That's a good game. Tonight, I've got Jennifer Tilly and Janet Dewan in the clubhouse after ladies of London and Beverly Hills. And we've got a surprise doorbell from a few of the folks from ladies of London. We talked about that yesterday. He's one of them, the bird. Hegotee. Oh, hegotee, the crow. What does she call, she calls her cottage a garage because it's a gross cottage. Um, you live in a garage. You live in a garage. Yes. Right. And the horses in a plane. Correct. Are you watching Beverly Hills this season? No, not really. I love it. I, I, here's what I like. I have seen parts. I haven't seen, I'm not up to date. I'm loving Rachel's. Rachel's though is so good. She's amazing. Um, Amanda is annoying the other women. I know. So much that I love. They're like, they just, they're so annoyed. Um, no, she's great. She's like, she's the piece of real housewives. I have found it to be a real easy breezy season. And I'm really engaged in this reunion, which is tomorrow in Los Angeles. Um, so I'll be doing that. And then I am flying early, early Sunday morning to Austin, Texas, where I am a keynote at South by Southwest on Austin. And there was, um, and then I'm doing a smaller Q and A in the afternoon with Francis Barich. Um, tomorrow, Bravo's going to announce something relating to me. Mm hmm. That is pretty cool. And I'm going to be talking about that at South by Southwest and the 20 years of housewives. They're a whole new only fans channel. My new only fans channel. And it's going to be, um, so I'm really excited about that. I wish that I could stay longer. I will be flying out of Austin Sunday night. I land at like midnight, um, and then I will be back here on the radio with you on Monday. Next month, next week is a absolutely psycho Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. And then you have your eye surgery. My eye surgery Thursday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. I am not only gang shooting. That's what happens. I've, and the radio, but I'm hosting a week of the Kelly Clarkson show. So I'm doing all of that in three days. And then I will be down for the count, um, with my eyes. Um, it's now I had dinner at Mark and Kelly's the other night. We had our little rain date for the dinner. Yeah, I messed up recently. And I gotta tell you something. I think they were ready for me to leave. Oh, I was there. I got there at 645 at eight thirty. Yes, that's time to go. I started giving myself another splash of tequila. No, you got to get out of there. And they were not drinking. Yeah. They were sitting there listening to me like what night of the week was this? Monday, oh, come on. The school night, she got to get a bit for. I had not seen them in so long that I was like, oh no, we have so much to talk about. Like next time. And no, I got a, I got, I got more to say. And I was like, but what about this? What about that? And how did they telegraph it to you to leave? Both of his hands were on the table. He was about to push himself off and be done. And then I was like, okay. I'm gonna go and he's like, okay, dude. Yep, he will never, he's gonna be like, no, we loved it. We loved what both things can be true. He loved it and he loved it when you left. Yes. Yeah. Anyway, oh well, you know what, at least I was, I knew at the time. I was like, oh, I think, I think it works. It was, see Kelly could have gone on with the key. Kelly could have been like, yeah, let's go to the other room. She's very easy breezy. But then maybe he would have heard about it after I left like, wow, did he, you know. Now, still fishing around for Lucy's birthday. We did call Dylan's candy bar and they have closed their flagships. but they will do a birthday party. They have a partnership with like some hotel and they'll set up a birthday party for you in a hotel suite. - Oh no. - And I was like, that seems weird. Love them, but it seems weird. So now there is this cat cafe in Brooklyn. - Yeah. - And they have a kitty room that four kids at a time can go in the kitty room. - I wanna go. - And they do arts and crafts, cat, arts and crafts. And so I was like, wait a minute, okay. So this sounds interesting. So I said nothing to Lucy about it. So I'm sitting there with Ben and Lucy this morning. I now have lost back him into Ben. Three mornings in a row. He is starting to play so much smarter. Like he's been playing real dumb and leaving guys out and I'm now, somehow he's like covering his men and doing what he's supposed to. And I'm like, and I keep saying Ben, that was a very smart move. And when I give him that reinforcement, his little face really lights up. Like it is so sweet. So I said to them, I go, Lucy, what if we had your party at a cat cafe and they were like, daddy, what are you talking about? I go like a cat, and there's like kitties that you can pat, they go, real cats? I said yeah. And Ben goes, but then you couldn't come 'cause you'll die 'cause you're allergic. I go, it's a thing. - No, I go, look, it's not a fake out. I think I could go for two hours. It'll be fine. I said, and if I do well, maybe that's a sign that maybe it's not that bad. I don't know, we'll see. So Ben goes, and I said, look, the goal is to get you guys a cat. I said, I would love to do that. And then Ben goes, you're telling me that I don't have to wait until you die to get a cat? - Now, and I'm like, oh my god, this is on his mind. So I said, well, you may or may not. - Yeah, maybe. - Maybe to wait until I die. - One thing at a time, see if you react well to the hit. You can also get a hairless cat. - I know, you don't like them. Look at the live testicle. - Can I just add in here? Sorry, I'd been to this cat cafe before. It's great. I love daycare in Brooklyn. - In Brooklyn Heights. - Just to go for a hunt. - Yes, of course. I love cats. - Okay. - My wife is allergic to cats, and we have a cat. She's fine. She just has to take allergy medicine, and she's fine with it. - Wow. - So there is a possibility, yeah, if you could-- - I would really like a cat. - You need a cat, though, eat your mice. Right? Yeah. I wonder how, oh, I think a cat would do fine on my terrace because there's nowhere to come. - Yes, I don't know about that. They can jump off. - They jump high. - Yeah, they jump high. - Well, they're gonna jump off the building. Well, then that's how the cat. - They're not gonna jump off. - They're not that smart. They could possibly fall off. - But you know what, if one cat jumps off, you get another one. Well, what does that cat do? - Survival of the fish. - Yeah, I think it's nature. - Feel it out. - Are we workshopping cat names in the home? - No, no, no, no, no, sure. Hold on, wait, we will let Lucy. I think the cat's gonna have to be named Larry, 'cause that's, and it's also the cutest name for a cat, especially if it's a girl cat. - Yeah. - I mean, it's so funny. It has to be named Larry, right? - When are you gonna make the decision about this party? 'Cause I would like to go. - Okay, I'm waiting. Darren is gonna, I asked Darren to find out what are the crafts. 'Cause I just need to make sure, if I schlep, or if I ask 20 plus kids from our whole nursery school to go to a cat cafe, I need to know what's happening. I need to know the run of show. - Ira clown. - Yeah, anyway, so that's happening. Now also at the meal with Mark and Kelly, I was marveling because their kids are so well-mannered. And I am very concerned that mine, I said to them, how did you train them to like look people in the eye when some, like you when you were staying in my building and you walked in. There were times that you would walk in and like Ben wouldn't really acknowledge you when you walked in or I would have to say, Ben say hi to John. Look, here's John. And as a parent, it's very annoying. What do you do, Jordan? - I usually, I'll do like a pre, if I know we're like seeing somebody or someone's coming, I will usually pre prep, at least my older one, to be like when they come in, make sure you say hi, look at them in the eye. Also when we go out to eat, I also make him order for himself and make sure he gives eye contact and does that. So I just like make you do it everywhere. - I like that. So what we came up with with Mark and Kelly is, I said, you know, what did you do, whatever. So what we came up with was that, and I said it this morning to Ben, I was like, look, your seven now, here's a deal, because Jackie and Jeannie are coming over tonight to make spaghetti and meatballs, my old friends, and they're gonna make spaghetti and meatballs with the kids, we're all gonna make it together. And I said, when they come over and from here on out, when someone enters this apartment, or we see someone, you have a choice, you can walk up to them and shake their hand, or you can walk up to them and give them a hug. And it is your choice, and that is it. And I said, Lucy, you are a baby, so you don't have to do this. And I was like demeaning to Lucy purposefully. I was like, you can't figure this out. And it was really to empower Ben that he's smart enough to be able to do it. And I did kind of pit them against each other a little bit, but it was, and she didn't care, she could have given a shit. But Ben was like empowered. - Yeah. - That he was like, oh, okay, I can do this, but oh, okay, okay. And by the way, the man he was like, I think Lucy could do it. I'm like, I'm not so sure. Like, shout up, just shout up, shout up. Anyway. - My parents made me practice every three times a week at church. That's how we got accustomed to greeting adults, behaving properly, and we hated it, but it really did. And then my dad would reinforce in the way home. Like, well, this is why you do this. This is why you shake people's hands. This person has a bad handshake. That person has a bad handshake. You don't want to be like that person. This person's annoying. Yeah. And it was just week after week of like training with that. - Yes. Wow. Okay, well, I, we'll see how this goes. You know? Oh, Lord. Okay. Do you have anything else you want to say? I feel like I've been just yammering. - Oh, let's see. We covered Liza. That was my big suggestion. - Yes. Okay. I hope I like the book. - Make it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Okay. What's your concern? - Yeah. I mean, I hope I make it. I don't know. I hope my interest level stays. - Okay. Well, I mean, she's a part of show bit. I mean, she's a part of entertainment industry. Stull word legend. You know, she intersects a lot of different ways of reference. - I just want to hear about her. Talk about mama. - Yeah. - She might talk about that. - Yeah, I do hope it's, I mean, I hope it's good too. - Yes. - Yeah. - Well, let's have the length of Barbara's book. - Perfect. - Well, I mean, so I think even if you're interested in this. - She doesn't remember if she's it. - Probably. - Liza. - Yeah. - Yeah, exactly. I mean, Barbara remembers. - Liza's different. She's not, she does it. She cares about performing well and getting high. I think part of this thing, you know what? It's very interesting and this is why I'll be very interested when I listen to this. There is part of me that wonders what her memories are at this point and how much of them are like Michael Feinstein's energy and Heinstein's, you know, memories. And like, I just, I think that's what I'm talking about. - Well, we're all like that. Unless you're documenting in a diary with photos every single day, your memories are not really the memories of the thing, they're the memories you had of remembering it after it happened. - Right, well, I think that's why, I like, I have no question that Barbara's book is like, and the thing is, I think shares was very well researched. - Yeah, you know, it just really happened the way I'm remembering it. - Yeah, I just, yeah. - So, I don't even, I remember a memory and then I realize, I'm remembering the photograph I have of that memory, more than I'm remembering the actual thing that happened. - Anyway, Liza, Liza, Liza. - Well, I remember talking, to David Geffen after Sandy Allen passed. And I was talking to him about a lot of Sandy stories and his memories of the exact same stories are like totally different. And I was like, "Oh, okay, well this is interesting." You know? - David Geffen's single now, right? - Yeah, you interested. - At this point, yeah, but I think I'm too old and too white. - Could be. - Let me ask you a question. If David Geffen said to you, "Yeah, okay, I love you, I just, okay, you're gonna be my boyfriend now, okay?" And that what that means is you go with me. So we're on the boat for three months, sometimes alone on this huge boat. Sometimes, you know, we're just flitting around but you're giving up your career and everything. And you just, you buy whatever. - How does he buy? - He's like in his early 80s, seems to be in very good health. - And how often does he buy-- - I don't know, I don't know. - That's the real question. I don't know how often. But I'm asking you, but giving up your job and all that stuff you would be fine with. - Again, how, I mean, how old is he? Would it, I mean, I could give it up for 10 years. - Okay. - I wouldn't want to give it up for the rest of my life but I could give it up for 10 years. - Okay. - 15. If I could buy anything and be on a boat, I would take time off if I could buy anything. - Okay, all right. 'Cause like my job, my career, I can return to when I'm 65 and write a bunch of books. - Okay. - And there's a clause that you can't write about your relationship. - I'll write about a fictional relationship. - And there's a clause that you can't write about a fictional relationship. - I'll write about, I'll figure it out. - Okay. (laughing) - Careful with your sign. Anyway. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - That's all for this week's edition of Andy Cohen's Daddy Diaries podcast. To hear every minute of my Kiki with John plus interviews, news and more, you can listen to my serious XM channel, Radio Andy, anytime on the series XM app. We'll see you right back here with more Daddy Diaries next week. (upbeat music) - Radio Andy, always unpredictable. A serious XM podcast.