A Week of Chess, Parenting Feedback, and Bevy Smith!

Hey, it's Andy Cohen here with this week's chapter of Andy Cohen's Daddy Diaries podcast. The high highs and low lows of my life is a daddy to two kids and dozens of housewives. I'm Andy Cohen here with John Hill, hey John. Hey, Queen. John, oh my God, so much happened this week. I gifted my bank teller. I got a breathalyzer. I took Ben to a chest tournament and made a controversial call which had listeners up in arms. I went on a adventure to the DMV which I recounted with the one and only Bevy Smith and we opened our mail bag. Wow, what a week. This is Andy Cohen's Daddy Diaries podcast. Monday, May 18, 2026. Good morning everybody. We are back. I got my wortl in three today. Scott, did you do your wortl? I didn't know. I'm not good with games like that. Jordan. Strategy games. I got out of my wortl. Oh, thanks. I haven't been doing it. All right. Let's take some calls. Jordan. All right. Let's go to Shelley from Atlanta. Okay. Hey, Andy. Hey, Shelley. Um, I made Jordan laugh with this question. So I want to know what kind of pizza they got for you, emo. Oh, mushroom. Muffave. Yeah. Plain mushroom. Yeah. No sausage. No, but I do love a emo sausage pizza. Sausage your mushroom is a great. Yeah, it is actually. You're making me hungry. All right. I love you. Thanks. Bye. Bye. All right. Our friend, Carlin from New Orleans. Oh, hey, Carlin. Hey, they don't shoot me. I haven't listened yet. I had a busy week. Okay. It's cool. I'm going to get to you, baby. But I'm with the other car. I'm going to do full screen. Yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah. It lives for posterity. That's the great thing. You didn't know what a year about the posterity. Yes, I am. But let's talk about the tears. So just listening to you all week in all couple of weeks, talk about the three, four, five thousand degrees of the one degree of separation of your mom, your grandma and all of that. Yeah, yeah. So crying for that, my son got his master's. I'm at the hooding ceremony just picturing you being great. So I'm crying for that. Then I wait to go see devil with Prada. So I'm crying because I'm sitting there saying this is Andy's universe on screen pretty much. I'm learning how to adapt the decades just a little bit, but in the building and you talking about all of the men and the workers going to see it and these are probably. Jordan, did you just disconnect, Carlin? I was hanging up on some of the hills. Oh my God. She hung up in the night. I had to go to the bathroom. No. She's going to talk. And she was on one in such a good way. Oh. Okay, she's back. Carlin that has never happened. Oh my God. And by the way, I don't, I mean, if we are assigning blame, it's just yes, it was. I'm sorry. Okay. So Carlin, you were saying you loved the devil, where's Prada knowing that all of the door man had gone and seen it. Yes. And just the tears of your universe. All of the community. Yes. I just sit there like, oh my God. And I guess that was it. I just cried. I love it. Thank you, Carlin. Fine, it's your mom. Community. You're hanging up on me. Yeah, I know. Yeah, that's not a spirit of the radio and the community. I'm trying to hang up on some of the hills. Thanks, Carlin. That's such that is lovely feedback. And by the way, building a community is something that building a community is something that I spoke about in my speech. There you go. I can't wait to hear it. I'll write down later. All right, thanks, Carlin. Okay. Thanks, Carlin. Bye. Okay. I mean, wow, Jordan hanging up on her. Two strikes for Jordan today. Yeah. What was your first strike? Well, saying, no, I liked your speech. Oh, I liked it. Yeah. I liked it. This will be my last day on my speech. And so it's like when you're eating something that tastes horrible and you're like, this tastes good. I wasn't a whole octave up the entire time. I just said, no, this speech was really good. Just the just. I like to meet. Yeah, exactly. Thank you, Scott. Okay. That is exactly right. Oh, my God. My favorite charay line. I like to meet. Oh, my God. If you all don't get that reference, I ask charay after Kim performed "Tardy for the Party Live for the Housewives at the Season 2 reunion." I turned around and was like, well, what did you think? And charay said of what? And I said the performance we just saw. And she said, I like to beat. I like to beat. Classic. Any more calls, Jordan? Yeah, let's go, Mike from Boston. We only have a couple minutes left here. Hi, Andy. Hey, Mike. All right. I was in virtual callers on "Watch What Happens Live" last night. And I had a secret surprise in the background of my shot. Did you notice anything? No, what was it? A deck? It was an Easter egg. No. Last summer, I was at your yard show with my mom. And I bought your lamp. No. The gold hobnailed gold lamp. Are you kidding? That's a good idea. And I am. Not getting the background of my shot when I asked the question last night. That is so funny. I wish you would have said, Andy, do you recognize my lamp? But I thought it was not going to be enough time. For all the people who waste my time with shit, I don't want to hear that. That would have been something I want to hear. That is the other funny part. I do like live stuff on occasion on "Sloft Knees." Yeah. And I always, as a gig moderate from Boston. And I always hide the lamp in the background of that too. Oh, that's so funny. Wow. That's my little fuck you to all of the conservative bullshit in the country. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, that's so funny. Well, I love it that you have my lamp using in good health. Well, is it, if you knew the ordeal I had to take to get it home, I wasn't planning on buying a massive lamp when I came to Manhattan to Boston last summer. I bet. I bet. I bet. I bet. I bet you had to buy luggage at a target. Oh my God. That was a great back-out shop for all my luggage. All right, man. Thanks. Thanks. Appreciate it. Well, I think we're, are we kind of wrapping it up? Adam from Chicago has a party at a kick question that I want you to answer. Yes, quick, Adam. Hey, Andy. Thanks for taking my call. But I really fast. Through a huge milestone birthday party. Friend came. Not only did he come, he brought a plus one and a plus two. No card, no gift, no nothing. Now, I don't need a whole lot, Andy. But I'm fighting petty. Should I say something or just let it go? Was it like a seated dinner party? Yes. Yeah, Andy. It was a big deal. It was like you had to get extra seats and you were feeding them? Well, were they were sitting? I didn't have assigned seats, but still. I didn't know they were coming. Yeah, it's weird. How many people were there total? 150. It's down to Chicago seated. I'm just also surprised that, you know, it happened. I think you could say, I think you could say, don't say anything about the no present, no card. I think you say, hey, man, just in the future, I would have loved to have known you were bringing two people because I, you know, that's it. Yeah. But I hope you had a great party. Don't let it ruin the love you feel from the party, okay? And I'm Dr. Love signing out Tuesday, May 19th, 2026. Good morning, everybody. I'm Dr. Cohen here in New York with John Hill. Yeah, congratulations. I haven't had a chance to congratulate you publicly for that. John, your text meant the world to me. I will tell what I said. Well, no, you just, I said yesterday it meant the world that you watched it and you were so sweet to me. I came upon it authentically and organically. I didn't seek it out. It popped up on my head. Okay. Well, I mean, you don't have to say it was by mistake. Well, no, no, no, no. I mean, I'm just saying like it happened to right. I was very busy and it popped up. Yes. I watched the whole thing. Good. Thank you. Thank you. A couple times I did do double speed, but I only a couple times. I thought it was perfect. Ten out of ten. It made me tear up. When did it make you tear up? Or why did it make you tear up? It made me tear up just because I thought in the grand scheme macro view of your life, your energy was perfect, your sentiment was perfect. You were not trying to be someone you weren't. Right. You were you. Yes. And you were hurting the wisdom that you do have and it doesn't matter like you are you have gained a lot of wisdom through life. It was really touching to see that reflected. I thought you came across very wise and that you know yourself really well. That's what touched me. Thank you. I really appreciate it. - You looked good. - Thanks. - Thank you. - Yeah. - We had a little controversy. You didn't hear the show yesterday. - I didn't, I was, okay. So I really told the whole spiel about going to St. Louis and all this stuff. And yada yada. - Sorry, I'm just about to speech. Yeah, you trust me. - You, I mean, it was a 30 minutes of me talking uninterrupted. - Oh, well, I'm really choosing my favorite monologue day. But at, you know, and I mentioned, I go, you know, John, I go, I got the nicest text from John and it just made it really made me feel so good. And then I go, Jordan, did you, did you hear the speech or did you like it? And so do we have the audio clip of Jordan? I just want your opinion on this, John. - Okay. - Jordan, did you watch the speech? - I sure did. - What'd you think? - I thought it was good. - Oh, what? - Oh, my God. - Okay. It's not like there's a butt coming, yeah. - I mean, among other things. - Right. - What was your butt? - Well, yeah. - There was no butt. - I thought it was a good speech. - Yeah. - I didn't the way she say it, make it seem like, yeah, like everyone else thinks it's terrible. I thought it was good. - Or it was objectively terrible, but I, there was a butt there. - Let me tell you this, when she said it, this one right there, Scott Marlow was like, the breath came out of him even quicker than the breath came out of me. - I know. - He also just contextualized us in a little, like we had talked for 30 minutes about your speech, how great it was, you felt great about it, listeners felt great about it, you got good texts, and then after all of that, guess it, you were like, well, what did you think? So I was like, it was good. - Well, Jordan's illustrating something, I feel a lot. You cover something from this point to this point, you've covered all the bases and you go, well, what do you think? And you feel redundant going, well, here's what I thought. So I get you, Jordan, I also know Jordan enough to know, you probably, your sentiment was probably, you always give a great speech. It was great, like always. - Thank you. - Right, which is like, John, I have learned to, if I have a thought, don't overthink it and tell the person, even if it feels redundant, like that was a me, it's a backstage thing. Like it is a backstage thing. It's a backstage thing. - When you go back to the stage. - How to behave backstage. - Right, and Jordan doesn't have those skills. - She does have those skills actually. - Okay, so I'm just kidding. - I'm just kidding. - I will say, I got a message from Sarah Jessica yesterday. - What is S.J., I have to say about it. - She goes, I thought it was good. (laughing) - She did. - I will say one thing. Okay, so I listened to it because WashU sent it to me immediately after. I listened to the audio and there were jokes that when you just listened to it with the audio they sent, it sounded like they fell really flat. But then I also watched it on YouTube and then you get a better full scope audio on that video. - They gave it a micro-freight. - And then you look where I was like, "Ooh, that didn't land." "Did lands much better than you could hear it there." So I will also say that. Well, anyway, I thought it was funny and wanted your assessment of it. It was amusing. - How did you think it went? - I thought it went great. It was one of the, and we can move on because we've beaten this to death. But it was a very emotional day and it was just beautiful top to bottom. It was very full circle. My parents wound up coming as you know. I was given an honorary doctorate. - It's amazing. - So huge. - Can call me doctor, that's amazing. - I won't be, but I love this for you. - Yes, you can though. I mean, do I have the nanny and people, the household staff call me doctor scene now instead of Mr. C. - You could. - I told my father has a PhD and made all of my friends call him. - I know that mine is real. - I don't think, no. - Mine is fake. - Well, is it? - Yes. - You have a diploma. - It's a doctor of what? - And a little scar. - A doctor of fine art. - Fine art, fine art. - Yeah, yes. - You know what I mean? - I'm like that. - Anyway. - How was smile Texas, John? - Smout Texas was great. I got there and we were only supposed to do the bottoms. - Right. - But we ended up doing the bottoms in. - Oh good, okay. - Yeah, so I stayed a lot longer than I thought it was gonna have to and I was in that chair for eight hours and it was a challenge to lay there for that long. But I have to, I mean, I love going there and I love these people. - Right. - Good. - The hard thing is they want, you want to talk to them because they're cool people and they're chatting. - That's how I feel when I'm doing my eyes. - I'm pretty exactly. - I'm like, how long? And he's like, don't move. - I have to go back to the eye doctor directly after this. - I have to talk to you about your eye doctor. I need to go to, - Oh. - To how? I need to go to a doctor. - Okay, well you should go. - Okay, that's the takes my insurance. Oh my god, guess what? Back to just a clue. - I'm sure that they don't take care of it. - Just to close the loop on my prep. - Yeah. - After three months and complaining - Fighting with your attention. - And ringing my hands. My doctor's office here calls me randomly to go, hey, we're looking at all this stuff. You know, we have a specialty pharmacy in the office. - And now we can get you prepped for cheap. - Yeah. - Good. Good. That's, nobody figured that out. - The insurance, I hate the insurance companies. - Right. - So now I'm not gonna get HIV. - Good. - Well, that's, that's it. - Okay. - Well, I started sassing them. I was like, you know what? - No doubt. - But I'm, you know what? I've been thinking I should get AIDS. How about if I just, this is a sign. I'll just go get some. - Wow. (laughing) - I had a funny thing. I talked last week about my bank teller or two weeks ago who saw me in the Victoria Becca. - And you wanna give her that head. - That's hoodie. - Yeah. - And she was like, of course you got it. You know, I go, what? She goes, there's sold out everywhere. Like, you can't get them. I'm like, oh my God. So then I talked about it in the radio and then a listener reached out to me, Katie or Kate, Kate reached out to me and said, I actually have a large that I'm not using. I could send it to you. I do you want it. And I said, I absolutely do. I've been mode her. And you could have just asked for her. - I could have, but I just felt like, you know, and I maybe it would have wound out. I maybe would have wound up asking. But I didn't. And of course, so I've been mode her the money and the shipping. And then an hour after I've been mode the woman, posh as people, I guess, had heard it on the radio and reached out. Jordan said, they're offering you a sweatshirt. And I said, oh, I just bought one. So I bought one. It arrived yesterday. I brought it to the teller yesterday. She could not believe it. It was so nice. - Oh, that's so nice. - It was so great. She was so happy. I mean, the irony is, I don't even know my teller's name, but I've been going to her for years. - But-- - Does she not wear a long name tag? - No, she doesn't. - No. - No, his eyes are messed up. You can't see it. - Yeah, I can't see a thing. I landed back in New York on Saturday night. And Sunday was a chest tournament at Penn School that I took him to, that has been in the calendar for so long and he's been so looking forward to it. I gotta tell you something. And it was so hot and sunny on Sunday. It was a rough day. It was after school. The Wi-Fi was spotty. It was very disorganized. - You couldn't listen to that 30 minute goon and bathe in the lunchroom. - Oh, no, I listened. I did over and over. Ben's coach was like, he is smart. I am so glad you're here. But he goes in. He plays the first kid who goes to this very fancy school. Loses the game very quickly. He comes out. You wait an hour for them to post the next matchup. Which he won. You wait another hour for them to post the next matchup. He lost the third. Now he has lost two games to one. There's a fourth game. The weight between those was like 80 minutes. I was, it was hot out. I was losing my mind. He then goes in there and plays this little girl. Turns out to be a kindergartener who turns out to be, I'm told, just moving her men around. Like, I don't know what this girl knew, but of course Ben beat her. And I said to him after this kindergartener was shuffling pieces on the deck. I go, Ben, you won two, you lost two great. I go, we're not staying for the medal ceremony. Like, this is hardly worth waiting for them to get their organization level. And he was like, we're not staying for the medal ceremony. Was he gonna get a medal? Everyone gets a medal. - Oh no. - He was at the lowest rung. He's in a, he's also in a nun. He's really in a playing for fun category. And I'm like, Ben, we're not, we're not. We had a fight all the way down the block. He was stopping, he was mad. He was and then I was second guessing myself. I was like, is this wrong of me? And I'm kind of signifying to him that this medal doesn't mean anything. Well, I mean, if you're gonna win like first place. Well, also though, he did compete all day in Attournament and way out. Yeah. And like, I got some participation trophies for sports. Well, he didn't realize it was a participation trove. I mean, it was like, so you know what I did? I went back with I folded. I think that's good. You do. Jordan, what do you think? Yeah. I mean, yeah. I probably went up. And guess what? It was another 20 minute wait. And I go, Ben, you got this same medal in the last tournament. And it's gone. I go, do you even know where it is? Do you care about that medal? Does it mean, and by the way, he got the medal and then he's like, here, carrying my medal. I'm like, oh, anyway, but I've the experience and about the memory and you know, closing the loop on the situation of the day. You spend all day there. You might as well get a medal. I felt like, well, he did compete. And so. Yeah. I was. I think you did the right thing. I was a psycho. I was speaking loudly. I was like the guy at the airport coming on from St. Louis where I I sass talked to him and got caught for it. Um, yeah, I'm just that story. Yeah, you did. Yes. And then I gas lit him. He goes, did you just ask why I'm pre-boarding? And I go now. And I had said it out loud twice. Well, why was he pre-war? Well, unclear. He was an able-bodied person. Well, maybe his armed forces. Nope. Army reserves. Yeah. Oh, if he had said I'm armed forces, I would have been mortified. I would have changed planes. Um, anyway, maybe I got a problem. I brought him back to I brought him back to the school and he got his medal. That's good. I was like, I'm glad you did that. Yeah. Next time you just need to be mentally prepared to waste your entire day. I'm not going. I was mentally prepared to waste my entire day. Sounds like maybe you weren't. Some know I was. And I was actually really looking forward to it because I know it meant the world to him that I was there with him. And that we did it together. I just I was signifying I go. I was signifying to him before the last game. I was like, I have reached my limit. This disorganization. I go, do you know what it means to be disorganized? I explained it to him. Whatever I explained everything that was wrong with the way it was run. Anyway, um, how's your Nintendo switch? Have you been playing? It's still in the box. And I have to say, um, I was going to take it with me to Spain, but I have to say like, I feel like Jordan has two kids or three. How many kids you have? Do you? Would you like that Nintendo? I feel kind of like selfish for taking that when you have children at home who are in need. Wow. That's really kind of you. Oh, now you're making me look back. Well, no, I'm just I'm looking at it. I'm excited to play it. But then I'm like, wouldn't you do you want that for your children? I mean, he's been asking for it, but I'm telling him no. Oh, I'm telling him no. He's eight. And you let him play video games at this point? I let him play video games sparingly. I'll give him like, I don't not during the week. I love doing half the weekend. I'm a machine. We have a, um, an Xbox that nobody plays. Oh, and then my husband got him a PS5 for Christmas. Oh, oh, oh, oh, but that got taken away. So he hasn't played that. Did the end of the day? Sounds like a good idea, but take it if you want. Well, no, I'm not taking it. Yeah, we do very limited. Let me know what happens. Right. I got a new toy. A vibrator? No, you know what I got for my bar? And she's so fun. What is it? A breathalyzer. Oh, it is so fun to have a breathalyzer. When you have people over, measure, I got the idea in Palm Springs because we had one in the house, you can get little pocket size fancy breathalyzer. It's good to know. It is good to know. And by the way, every bar in America should be required to have a breathalyzer at the world. So they can, I mean, just like, I want one for the beach too. Yeah. Normalize having them out and about. I think so. You can, you can, you have to wait 10 minutes. You can't drink anything for the 10 minutes before you breathe into it, but it's a fun toy. That is a fun gift. You can get them for like 150 bucks online. So consider that. I went to death of a salesman the other night. Oh, nice. And I will tell you that I was in absolutely no mood to go see it. I had gotten no sleep than I before. I was so woozy. It is a long play. It is. Uh, I thought it was Joe Mantello's best work. Agreed. I said, I don't know how you will ever top this. I think to say, um, I thought it was so moving. It was almost as a father seeing that. Exactly. It was devastating. Yes. And I just thought it was absolutely brilliant. I was blown away. Yeah. One of the best things I've ever seen. It's so good. Yes. Um, and you know why you mentioned, I left my AirPods at opening out of death of a sale. Oh, no. And I made a joke about it. Like I love the show so much. My, I left my AirPods there. Then on the show, I, Michael Benjamin Washington who's in the show coordinated with the sound guy who found them. Whatever. And this, I got, I picked them up and I've been meaning to say there was a note in with them that was like, I didn't find your AirPods. My girlfriend who listens to your show, who was super cool. I think her name's Aaron. Anyway, I need to shout her out because she tracked them down. A listener who is like, maybe the girlfriend of the sound guy. No. And it was a whole thing and you got them back. I got them back. Wow. That doesn't happen. I went by the stage door. So thank you. Sorry if I'm saying her name wrong. But he was like, I love my girlfriend. She's so cool. She listens to you guys and thinks you're crazy and fun and I don't know anything about you. But give her the credit not me. Wow. That's great. Ben had a sleep under the other day. Do you know what that is, John? Is that like during the day? No. It's a night but the kid goes home at nine o'clock. It happened when I was returning from St. Louis that night. It had just ended. It sounded like a mix bag just hanging out. Sounded like a little bit of a mix bag. We did that growing up in the Christian church. We weren't allowed to have overnight with the opposite sex. Well, of course not. So they would go home. But when you're seven, it doesn't matter. I always thought at that, I think he cares. Anyway, they were choosing a movie to watch and Ben said the crying game. Ben, no, Ben goes, you know what? Put in Alice in Wonderland. I want to face my nightmares. Is that Alice in Wonderland is horrific. It is. And guess what? He got scared halfway through. He was like, I can't do it. It's horrifying. So it was Peter Pan. They put in jungle. Oh no, Peter Pan is no fly zone for my family. Well, it's also we don't do that problematic as well. Well, it's problematic. But also if there is no mother in the home, again, Wendy sings the song about how every woman has to have a mother. So that's rough. But and their dog is there, nanny, weird. Last night when I put Ben to bed, he said, daddy, you can't possibly know how much I love you. It's really sweet. I mean, that's just getting me through everything. That's your metal ceremony. That is. Oh, John. Yes. Should we take a couple calls before we go to break? Right. Did you need me to do that? You're a starling. You, you, you be the winner. Well, mine are just as bad now. Okay. Let's do Lisa from Eastchester. Hi, guys. Hi. Hi. I don't love you guys. So I was just calling because I was in tears yesterday watching Anderson Cooper sign off on. And I was just wondering your thoughts. I mean, it was so emotional. Me too. I FaceTime to my last night. I said, oh my God, all this content is making me cry. I thought it was incredible. I cannot believe that we've gotten to a point where people are fleeing the number one news. I mean, I mean, to be on that, I mean, that was, did you call it out and like light a match, like Angela Bassist style? No, no, no, no, no, he didn't. He didn't. He's too classy. Okay. Yeah. And he did like the sign off and he like crap, like, you know, he broke out a little bit, like doing his last sign off and it was so emotional. Yeah, it really was. It was incredible. Yeah, it was just so. And the stories he's done in the last 20 years, I mean, you know, and then you talk about his kids and being away from the kids and it was just such a good, good segment. We're just driving CBS News into the ground. It is so sad to see. It's horrible. Especially when good people like Anderson's late. I know. Thank you very much. Thanks for your time. Well, thanks for talking to me. I appreciate it. Have a great day, guys. You too, John. Let's do Kelly from Cincinnati. Oh my gosh. I cannot believe I'm talking to you. guys. Hi, good morning. My question was for Andy. I was just, but John, I love you. I was listening to the best Stern BB Rex, uh, um, show from last week. Yep. And it just made me wonder, Andy, if you've ever considered doing your own children's book. Yes, I have. Is that all we get? That's all you get in a way. All of your books are children's books. So easy to read. That's kind. Uh, I, uh, yes. And there's one that kind of, I'm kind of fiddling with and eventually I'll get it together. Okay. Thanks. Um, Gina from South Carolina. Good morning. Hey, I was going to tell you I'm glad you went and took him back for the medal because you will get more of that medal later than he will. You'll be cleaning up the room, packing up to go to college, something y'all will find these little trinkets from the path. And you'll have a good memory. Those, those chess sentiments are brutal. They are brutal. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Oh, I would hide like my trashy magazines inside of, you know, um, scholarly things for the other parents who look down on me. I mean, I took some tincture about one in the afternoon and even that didn't, even that didn't level me out. Did you have the parents with the cameras where they can see what their kids are doing? No, so that they can lecture them. Oh, my god. No, no, no. Andy doesn't know how to play chess. Yeah, I have no idea. We had kind of a cool little group that played and we brought in happy meals and let them play their. And I like the other parents, but like it's like you're on a plane to LA without the payoff of landing, you know. Anyway, thank you so much, Gina. Have a good day. Kathleen from Pasadena. Hi. Hey, Andy, you didn't cave. Please, sometimes you just have to realize, oh, I made a mistake. I'm, I overreacted. I'm changing course. You use the term I caved a lot as a parent. Get that out. You say I reasset the situation. I changed course. Well, I mean, you don't feel like I can't. I mean, you can't you know, listen, listen, it wasn't a parenting. I wasn't. I there was no, in other words, when I, when I am trying to get Lucy to use her feet to walk to the pool and I'm making a point of that, then that in my mind is caving when I say, Oh, okay, but this I wasn't making any point. I was just fed up and it would be bad. There was no point to make the point to make was this metal is useless, which is mean. I mean, I didn't want to make that point. I think what Kathleen is saying, if I, if I may, is that you saying caved is re-sensoring the idea that it was the wrong decision. And she's saying it was a great decision. I know I do think it was the right decision to go back. Yes. Yeah. Hey, listen, I turned into here. You get an award and I love that you stayed. I love what John said. You stayed authentically. Andy, I was wondering how you were going to do that up on stage. Everyone was excited to watch you get an award. Your whole family was there. Ben didn't organize that disorganized chess tournament. He wanted his dad to see him get an award. Yeah. Can you flip it tonight in bed when you're laying in bed and think about this? Maybe being the child of a very famous person who gets a lot of awards. Maybe there's a psychology. This little boy not only wants his award, but he wants his dad to see him get an award. Yeah. Okay. And he he earned that award. Yes. And he had to sit through those long ways just like you did. Yeah. He was probably nervous about playing and wanting to do well in that competition. He was a competition for him. Competition. Competition. He was there with his dad. That was a competition. And you know what, John, I'm so disappointed in you and Jordan not acting a little harder in your defense for a minute going, hey, that kid earned that award. He needed a good. Okay. Well, they defend. I mean, listen, let's let's. Okay. Well, guess what? I fit. That's because I finished the story and said I went back. So there's no that was a weak defense for Ben. You know what? It's not about the participation award. It's about the fact that you were there. He was there. He earned that. I didn't say that literally said that. You don't have to be disappointed because I said literally just that. Yeah. Listen, we're all agreeing. So, but I do agree with you about putting myself in Ben's place. Always. Yes. Yes. Because you're not taking into. I have a lot of friends with famous parents here in Los Angeles. And I've called. Listen, Andy, I live in your head because I love you. I told you to let her play with that red balloon. I didn't tell you to take it into school with you. I know, but then I would have to take it to work. I wasn't going home. I read the right call about that. But by the way, you were wrong about that balloon. Okay. Yes. But I'm not wrong. I see you enjoying your daughter. You love your kid, but you can also fall in love with the time that you spend with them. And that's what I'm encouraging you to do. Yeah. I love our kid. Yeah. I do. But when you give her piggyback rights to school and you play with her. Yes. It's different to let her fall in love with you in a different way. You're her dad. Yes. You're her dad. Listen, you weren't you but happy when your mom and dad, even at their age, got to watch you get an award on Saturday. That's all that matter. Yes. Of course. Yes. Yes. Yes. No, I totally agree. And that's why I went back. You gave you you were a good parent. Again, negotiated. You renegotiated what was happening. And you didn't pay you just changed the core. Yes. All right. Thank you, Kathleen. Back with more from this week's daddy diaries after this Wednesday, May 20, 2026. It's Wednesday. It's going to be a scorcher in New York City today and already is. I got John Hill to my right. Correct. I got Bevy Smith to my left. Yeah. Hello. This is going to be fun today. We have Bevy for the whole hour. Very excited. Do you like the heat, Bevy? I do like the heat. I know you do. You know, you bring it. Let's see that part, John Hill. You already know what you can't. You know what it's like. You bring the heat. Yeah. Happy 80th birthday to share. I thought you said it to me. No. Not quite. Got us of pop. We love shit. Do you know I saw a sheer skating when I was a child. You know, my brother used to take me to the rocks and to the rose skating. And I saw a sheer skating. So can you imagine in the middle of, well, I'm hell on wheels. I'm a roller mama. If you try my latest, then I follow you. You know, that's a lot of stuff. So can you imagine during that era and then seeing sheer skate by she wasn't screaming that song, but still the whole thing. It's like amazing. You had a gay brother. Yes, my brother's an old school homosexual. I mean, I know it makes all school. Not these new fangle ones. I got married and kids and all the other day. No man. That's gross. I will say we did a poll about my shoes yesterday. I mean, 1000 votes. It was very close. John Hill, what? Oh, yes, what are the shoes? I'm usually right about the fashion choices. Well, you look good. I don't today. But normally I didn't like the shoes. They were cute for you. Just I wouldn't be cute in them. Well, by the way, you do look you today because you're wearing it. John asked me yesterday to go to Ralph Lauren yesterday. He asked me to pick him up a classic polo shirt. He said pick the color. And then I was like, you know what? I'm going to get you white just because I just think that it's a classic summer. Yeah. And he can pull white off. It doesn't melt into one monoclonated moment. He is wearing. He's wearing it. Thank you so much. I like that I ask you for something. And then I'm always like, you didn't have to do that. I know. Yeah, she gets real to me. When I walk in. Oh, my God. John's like I put that Nintendo switch. And then I bring it in the next day because he by the way reminds me and says don't forget my switch that I handed to him. You know what? It's like people who are hitting you up on Grindr all the time. And then you see them on the street. And they're like, who? Oh, what? Yeah. It's so weird. And if you're going by Madison Avenue today, please stop and imagine me. Yes. Okay. Well, I had a day yesterday because I went from here to the eye doctor. I'm getting my right cataract fix next week. Think what? So annoying. Is that old person thing? Yeah, it is. You would not know anything about it. No. I so I'm going by the way, my hot eye doctor, of course, got the taste of fame and loved being on the show. And was like, I'd love to come back. I'm like, oh, you know, everybody loves. Yeah, they get in front of that camera. They want to come back. I go, you know what? Let's finish my right eye successfully. And then we can talk about your next. We can talk about your next appearance. I sat next. I went to a dinner last night for really accomplished black women in the finance world. And I sat next to a foot doctor. Her, her, her tag is I'll fix your feet or something. Fix your feet. I said, oh, I want you to fix my feet. She's I would love to. So maybe not can get on Andy Cohen's show and I'm gonna have to pay for the fixed mathi. Well, next time you're a guest on "Watch What Up Inside." -Yeah, shout her out. -You would like to have her bartend, your foot doctor, I'm happy to do that for you. -Daddy! -Yeah, it's given real applause. I'm gonna love that here. Give it to him. -Thank you. -That was good. -So, I mean, all day, by the way, on Monday, Darin was up my crawl 'cause I had a photo shoot yesterday. And they were like, "We need some summer looks for him. Please bring some summer looks." On and on and on. I'm like, "And then she's. " And I never did it 'cause I was so busy. And then yesterday morning, she texted me, "They are coming to pick these clothes up at seven in the morning." I'm like, "All right, I'm running around at 6.30 yesterday morning. Fine." So I have that photo shoot later, but I go to the DMV yesterday. Now, Darin couldn't reorder my license online for some reason. I had to go in. So I go in and I had an appointment. I had all the forms and I got up to the window. And I got to tell you something. When you have the forms. -It's very efficient. -It is quite efficient. And you have your appointment and you go in. I was at the counter. I'm gonna say six minutes after my appointment. -That's amazing. -There's always a loud hooker. On the phone in the place, just dominating the room. And you're like, "This isn't a movie." Like, it's like a parody in New York City. Every DMV, there is like a hooker in the room. And you're like, "Oh my God." So that lady was going on and on. "Do I go up to the counter?" And the lady says, "Okay, read line 11 on the eye chart." Now, I've just come from the eye doctor. And my eyes and legendarily crossed eyes. But now I have one that's fixed allegedly and one that's not. And I go, "Oh, will my eye doctor did send my eye results?" Which they had sent. It was all. They go, "We have that. We need you to read line 11." I'm like, "Okay, okay." So I'm standing there and I'm literally, "I'm first. I can't see the number 11." So I'm counting down where's the number? So I'm standing there and the lady goes, "Oh, I know what's happening. You're seeing the glare of the glass." I go, "Yes, yes, actually." She goes, "Stand over here." I'm like, "Okay, when I tell you, God is good." Because I was standing there and I kind of was squinting my eyes in the way that I just wasn't the eye doctor. I got every letter and I was snapping in between and causing a commotion. And then my girls were all causing a commotion. They were happy. So great. So then the lady goes, "Oh, you have an incident in Georgia from 2005." I go, "What are you talking about?" Public indecency. No, she said, "There is something that happened in Georgia. You failed to have. You drove without insurance and something else." I go, "This is not me." She goes, "Well, it's an Andrew Cohen. Your social security is. I go, "Do you know how many Andrew coins are?" And I'm like, "Witch Atlanta House one." "Right." "It isn't in for me." And like, masked with. When we put Pedro on pause, did she go in the. You know what I mean? Anyway, so I was like, "So she goes, "Here's this phone number in Georgia." "Call Cobb County. You need them to send us a "Not me" letter that says, "It's not me." And I'm like, "Okay." And she goes and just come back to the window when you're done. I go, "Wait a minute. Are you telling me I can come back to this window when I'm done?" Like, they're going to turn that around. Yeah, yeah. They're going to answer the phone. And she's like, "Yeah, so then I go." So I'm standing there. My number, the number won't go through. I'm like, "This isn't working. Now I'm starting to have that thing happen at the. It's either efficient or you're losing your mind." And the hookers screaming on the phone behind me. And I'm crawling and I go back to the counter. I'm like, "This number's not working, ma'am." She gives me another number. I call, "I'm on hold." Who comes up to me? Megan King at Mons. What former OCEA? I was like, "Oh, on 31st Street." And I'm like, "Hey, she's like, I just moved here. I'm going to be a real term." Oh my god. I go, "Listen, I know we need the level one." Right. Truly love to connect with you right now. But I am in crisis. Because also my car was in front of the DMV because I am now late for my photo shoot. So I now am on hold, on hold. So I go back to the window and I go, "This is not going to be completed today." Like, "What do I do?" And this supervisor lady came over and she goes, "I'm going to give you my card, email me and then I will help you." I go, "Thank you so much." And I was like, "I took her card. I go, I'm going to email that lady just a friendly email today." So that I can just thank her. And so this dialogue is going, you know what I mean? Because I'm going to need her help. Oh yeah. So I leave, I go down, the car is nowhere to be found. Because I can't idle anymore, babe. No, I know, but there were spaces. So then, and I'm going nuts. I get in the wrong car. I go, "I'm still on hold." Okay. With Cobb County. And I'm, and I'm, and then I find the guy is sleeping in the driver's seat. No. And it's BLS, by the way, which is a good car. Yeah, but just a good car, so. So yes. And I open the door and I get in and now I'm very upset and I slam the door. Now the driver is furious with me and he's like, "Is it property?" "You're going to break my car." Now I'm in a fight with the guy and I'm all, and I'm like, "No, I'm sorry." Like, now you scream and like, "Go hook up." "You're the hooker." "You're the hooker." "I'm the hooker." Yes. So now I'm in the car, so they pick up at Cobb County, whatever I get transferred. I'm explaining very calmly and kindly. My name is Andy Cohen and I am so demoted. It's a part of somebody answered that shit. I got it. And the lady's like, "Oh, okay. You need this person. They send me to someone else." And I'm writing down ID numbers. She goes, "Oh, well, this was from July 18th, 2005. You were driving in a car and you didn't have your license. You had an open container." That's what it was. This was not me. Yeah, thank you. I go, I was not in Atlanta on July 18th, 2024. 2005. You can pull up your book. What was those things that were used to write out notes in? What were those things? A diary, a journal? No, but you remember there was a branding that we all used to use back in the time. Oh, I remember. No, I know it's black and white. You know what? The paper one. Remember, we had a name. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You remember those? So you can look it up. I can. You know what? I probably can. You can. So anyway. And you really weren't there in 2000? No, I wasn't, babe. I really wasn't. Oh, July 18th. So Atlanta has said not premiered. So I wouldn't have even, I don't, I think that was like one of the first time I had ever gone there. Anyway, I'm freaking out in the car. And then I'm on hold again, and I say to the driver, now that you see the red tape, then I'm in. Do you understand why I was upset when I got in the car? And he, because now I'm like trying to make nice with him and it seemed like it was okay. It was a lot of show. Anyway, I go in, I go up to the photo shoot. This is something Anderson and I are doing and I go in now. I'm like a wild man. And I walk in and I, what is there? Racks and racks of clothes for me. And I'm like, this was so urgent that I ransacked my closet for summer clothes that I had to schlep you. Like, are you kidding me? Which is it? Anyway, I speak to another person, got transferred. This has gotten so much more complicated and I will leave it at the fact that this is quite unresolved. Really? Yeah, of course it is. And how does your social security number get mixed up? They have my social security number. But the DMV told you that it was you and that's how they ended up. It's associated with me, but they said we don't think this is your, anyway, the bottom line is, why do they care in New York? What happened in George in 2005? I don't know. I'm like, what is it? So guess what? What? Last night I get home and I'm taking out all the papers because I went straight from this photo shoot and I have this one piece of paper with all this information on it and I had to send them a letter saying from me, oh, and they deal, they do everything on facts in Cobb County. Right. She's like, "Facts it." I go, are you telling me that I'm going to fact something and it's going to go in a tray and someone's going to pick it up and then they're going to go and she goes, that is how we deal with things by facts. She said it will. They're very efficient in Cobb County and I'm like, well, all right then. So I'm like, you do realize that this is what happened with a River Franklin and Dionne Warwick. Remember that time when they had that beef and radio city musical and Miss O'Rea, the Franklin sent a facts complaining about Dionne Warwick to the Associated Press and they didn't find the letter and she had her publicist call saying, well, why did you address the letter? They had to go into a closet because they didn't have facts machines out anymore and they found the fucking letter from a Rita Louise Franklin complain about Dionne. - Well guess what? - This lady, I said okay. And she was like in Cobb County, we do faxes. And that's what we do, I said okay. Anyway, so I had to go straight from there to watch what happens live. Two shows I get home last night at 11 o'clock. And I'm like, let me get all my paperwork 'cause I have to get into this. I lost the business card of the lady from the DMV. So today while I am fresh in their thing, when I leave here I have to go to watch what happens on I am stopping on 31st Street to the DMV. I'm going to window 14 and I'm gonna be like a lady gave me and they'll be like oh, she's off today, but I'm getting that business card. Like I have to otherwise. - That's it, right? - But it's all over. - Yes. - So Andy, when you go into these spaces, do you use your Andy code base? - Never. - Look, it is my face, but I never-- - I would have the usual Andy code base. - What I am is I am upbeat and kind. And if they clock it, they clock it. But I can't, well I'm not gonna say, do you know who I am? - I said your face, I didn't say you had to say you know who I am. - What do you mean? - I go in with my baby Smith. - Yes, I do. - I'm baby Smith, darling. So I make sure-- - Yes, I do. - And then I'm speaking my baby Smith tone. - Yes, I do. - Which I don't always say. - I do. - And let me say, my girls at the DMV-- - They recognize me. - Yeah, they recognize me. I mean, we gotta use what we got. - We have to. But by the way, the most important thing to do in a situation like this is be super kind and super calm. Because, because by the way, if I used Andy Cohen and I was a dick, like get me out of here, then I'm there, double. - Yeah, I'm gonna enjoy taking down. - Now guess what? We have a caller from Cobb County, who works in Cobb County, BD. - Everything. - Miss Jackie, hi Jackie. - Hi, this is Jackie from Atlanta, y'all. - Hi, hi. - Now Jackie, what do you do for Cobb County? - I have my own business and I work with them because I mentor young kids. - Nice. - I'm like mentored by the mayor. - Oh, God bless you. Very good. - I'm gonna call and ask, what's going on? Because you're saying it's not you and I'm believing it's not you. - Thanks. - So I can't promise anything, but I'm gonna call and speak to the department to see what we can do. - Ooh, right. - Because it's not what you know. - You know what, Jackie? Thank you so much. - By the way, stay on the line. - Okay. - Okay, thank you. You know what, I was very upset about yesterday besides on my D.O.D. - Good job getting through that day though, damn. Yeah, it was, it was, I was, I was on one yesterday. So TMZ yesterday. Did you see the video they posted? - No, I don't have a look at them. - It was on, it came up on my Instagram feed, probably because I am, you know, loved Diana Ross. They had Diana Ross coming out of the supermarket. - Oh yeah. - Supermarkets, yeah. - Oh, look. And you know, and she had a mask on. - It wasn't the worst. - It wasn't, no, no, no, she looked great, but I was just like, let this legend shop in peace. And by the way, she had two bags, she had a mask on. She had like a, - Yeah, I'm sure she had the big box. - She had like a big, - A great thing. - Her way thing on covering her hair. - Well, approachy store in what city? - LA. - LA. - I don't know what store. - I couldn't tell which one I was. - I couldn't even. - But let me tell you what this icon did. She loaded her bags in her car. She returned her car. - She returned her car. - She had that mean. - Yes. - Are you kidding me? - That's what I was like. - I'm not used to them from a New York city. - Right. - So you know, it's a foreign country to me where you gotta put the car back. And a drive-in, where they called those things, parking lot. - Carcowell. - So I'm not used to such things. - Right. - I'm foreign. - All right. - All right. - Oh my God, I knew it. - So. - Bristol Farms. - Oh, that's where she was. - I was a little far away. - I know the grocery store. - Which Bristol Farms in Beverly Hills. - She's not going to the one on Fairfax in San Seppo. - I thought she was a Ralph's girlie. - That's horrible. - Thanks, buddy. - That was awesome. - She's a Ralph's, they don't have her Danakshi. - She calls it Air One. Who calls this? - I go there. - You go there. - I love it. - And you don't mind a $20. - I'm not buying that shit. - I'm buying normal people stuff that you can't buy. That gets all the attention. There is regular ass stuff you can get there. - Okay. - Yeah. - Now, who bought, now, how much are smoothies in a regular place? - Unfortunately, I think like a $13 range we're looking at. - Okay, but not the $20 that they charge at Air One. - And that's the base. Then you're adding things and it becomes $30. It's not worth it. - Okay, it's not worth it. - It's delicious, but it takes like a McDonald's. It's good. - You know what, I'm very cheap. - Yeah. - I would love a Nancy Kuala Fee drink. I can't afford it. - Well, you know what, you know what, I was just saying, I was just saying, this is smart. - It is smart. That's how you keep your money. - That is smart. - That's how you stay rich. Let me say that yesterday we were talking about me not wanting to stay for the metal ceremony after Ben's chest tournament and the caller called in and said, you know, Ben sees you awarded all the time with stuff and you didn't want to, it had been five hours. Whatever we had a big fight about it, we left and then I took him back because I felt bad. I was like, wait, he's right. We should go back because he beat a kindergartner and trust. But anyway, we did go back. - And the accomplishment. - Yes, no, absolutely. We did go back and I too follow ups on that. I got a DM from someone saying, listening to you bitch about having to go back. So your six year old could get his metal that you didn't think he could earn, which you didn't, which you think he didn't earn, which obviously means a lot to his six year old, he's seven by the way. While also having to listen to you go on and on about getting your honorary doctorate that was not earned was beyond ironic. Your doctorate is the adult version of a participation trophy. - Yes. - And you know what? - Correct. - You know how I responded her? - You were. - I said, I agree. - You should use it. - And you know what? So now those two listeners have gotten under my skin. So this morning I'm walking bed in the school and I go, I gotta tell you something and he said, what? And I said, remember when I didn't want to stay for the metal thing and he said, yeah. And I said, you were right. And I've been thinking about it a lot and you were right. And I shouldn't have even tried to leave. And of course we should have stayed. And of course I wanted to see you get that metal. And the look on his face, I have to say, he was so happy that I said that. And I said, you know what? We all make mistakes. And sometimes I said, sometimes I get it right. And sometimes I get it wrong. I've never been a daddy before and I'm learning as I go. And he just gave me a hug and we kept going. - He's so good to you. - And I was like, you know what? I felt really complete with that. - He's very good to you though. - Not to get too religious, but God knew what you need it when he gave you bin. - Yes. - Oh, is that ever true? - Yeah. - Is that ever true? - Yeah. - I was very annoyed by the New York Post's coverage of it was one of Brad and Angelina's daughters graduation. - From Spellman. - From Spellman. - Yes. - And you know, is that a, is that a hero? - No. - Yes, I think so. And you know, they, Angelina has totally cut Brad off from those kids. They have changed their names. - They changed their names. - And it really makes me sad. And I'm like, - My little English Brad Pitt, that bad. - I want the plane. - They're those witnesses. - That if it's it. - On the plane. - And abusive. - And the children were like scared and cowering. - I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't believe in alienating a parent. - I just, - But if the parent is antagonizing the children. - You don't know. - I mean, for what they do. - No. - This is giving, you know what, this is giving, I, Hey, Matt Lauer's okay. - I don't want to guess. - So I guess I'm like, what, no big deal he was DIY. Like, I think standing up for someone who's accused of assault and abuse is like not the cutest. - And allegedly, - Why do you think? - Like he like, but it's physical with Angelina Jolio on that plane. Remember the cops had to come to the plane. Why are cops coming to a PJ, a private jet? Obviously some ship was going down. So we had to remember that and the children saw that. - He was drinking. - And I guess, so was that making okay? - Sober now. - Okay. - Okay. - Well, they say when you drink, more of who you all comes out. - Anyway, I feel very bad about the situation. - Well, you can feel bad, but also know that someone has to live with their consequences of their actions. - Uh-huh. - I guess you think that those with yelling children should be just sitting up with their dad. (laughing) - Huh? - Okay. - Yeah. - Hold the dad and separate from the children. - Oh, I mean, - And those girls who had to look at Harvey Weinstein's mangled car. - Stop. - It was not that big of a deal. - Stop. - This is a little mangled penis. - Stop. - This is a mangled penis. - They got to go to a hotel. - Stop. (laughing) - A five-star dude. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Well. - Parental alienation is a real thing. - Hey, I think it's really sad. - It is really sad. I think it's really sad. - I'm going to be a momma. - Bevy, did you see Michael? - I haven't seen. - Okay. I went the first night it was out for the public. - And? - I went on for the second street, old school way. Guess who was there? - Who? - Fucking call him in the mingo. And you know he's a different than mine. - Yeah, it's a complete, but I'm like, he's like, what are you doing here, baby? I said I'm a fucking fan, I came to see it like a fan. He's like, I fucking love you. - That's awesome. - That was amazing. - Oh great. - But if you miss Michael Joseph Jackson, you have a way to be with him again. - Yeah. - It's always really quite lovely in that way. - That's great. - So you hate my new. - Brad Pitt, but you love Michael Jackson. All right. - Okay, well, just clearing that up. - Well, you know what, you clear yourself up, Andrew. - Okay. - I have said the seed, that he doesn't like it. Make all the Harvey Weinstein, Matt Lauer jokes, but what works for some, maybe, what? - Why are you talking about? First of all, Michael Joseph Jackson's children love him. - Great. - Okay. - Great. - So, next. - I know a lot of children who don't care for Michael Jackson. - Do you know any of them? Do you know any of them? Do you have you met them? - All right, let's do the news. - Let's do the news. - I feel like Andy is. (laughing) I think that you, that the two of you should host the Jellicoball should be the judges of the Jellicoball. - She's already done it. I requested, no, I requested you. - They said she's already done it. - Yeah, no, I requested you. I go tell them I want to do "Babby Smith." - Yes. - It was like, that made you tell me you've been up there. - I didn't even tell you I was requesting you, but I did request you. - Fucking haters. - Yeah, that was John's idea. - Thank you, John. - All right, John, what is in the news? What a fun show today. - I know. - We really, you know what? We've had a lot today. - Yes we have. - We have. - We have covered a lot of ground. - There's some truth happening here. - Oh, right. - Yeah. - A varnish truth. - Unvarnished. - Uncertainty. - Okay, John. Hayden Panett here. Does Hayden Panett have a book coming out every day that she does and page six is covering it. - Woo! - She is. - She's bisexual. The mom says she maybe is. - I know. - She's-- - Someone showed them her, her testicles. - Yeah, her testicles. - Yes. - Some Oscar winner showed the testicles. - We have to show a testicle. - I know. I was thinking about getting filler in my testicles. - No. - Should. - No, because you can just get some kind of nice gel of stuff. - You not. - But you got saggy balls and little balls. - His balls are fine. I've seen his balls. - That recently, you need a full list. - You can also get Botox in your penis so that it hangs down. - I don't want that for you, because I want you messing with the-- - I tell you what, - You're gonna needle in your dick. - Well, it's not the dick, it's a ball sack. - Hayden Panett here says that her mother-- - Sproul them. - Super glued baby teeth back in her mouth for acting jobs. Which by the way, - Wow. - Sounds reasonable. - That's-- - You gotta do what you gotta do. - You gotta do what you gotta do. - Yeah, and that is what-- - It's my own text. - Yeah, but like if something breaks, like the way to temporarily fix it is superglue. - Awesome. - Hello. - Okay. Amazon Delivery Jones, I should have put video, I wanted to show you this. Amazon Delivery Jones, drop in. - Really? - Now it's, you know what? - They're dropping packages instead of people delivering. - We have instituted, we have changed to Walmart in my home. - Nice. - Good for you. - I mean, each, I evil, but yeah. - No, what is Walmart? - Yeah. - Yeah, I think we want small businesses. - Well, that's, yes, we're the world. - Absolutely. - You know, but-- - We got it right. - They're not Amazon. - Maybe we got it right. - We got it right. - We got it right. - We got it right. - The NAMI today said I was opening these socks for Lucy that came from Walmart. She said, I just want you to see where that can, I said, I know, thank you. We're trying to, you know, yeah, I need to be better at it. - Trying to be better. It's tough though, right? - Yes. - You have it signed up to your American Express though, right? - Yeah. - Because you get that like super Walmart deal with your AMX. - Oh, is it right? - Yeah, look at it. - Yeah, look at it. - Okay. - Ooh, I better do that. - Yeah, you have to. You have to get all your credits, you're spending like $1,000 for a platinum AMX. You probably have a black. - No, I don't. - Okay, you have platinum. Okay, but yeah, use all your things. You know that. You know the sets of Avenue credit is going away. June. So if you have like some skincare or fragrance, anything that you want to buy, you can go and get the $50 right now. - All right. - Are you live right down the block? - Yeah. John. - What else? - John. - I was going to say I had to-- - I had to sign up for one medical, which is owned by Amazon. - Ooh, well, that was one medical. - They're everywhere. It's like an urgent care, but it's only $27 a month. It's, it got me. - What, you have insurance for that? - I, we don't want to talk about it. - Okay, baby. - You have SAG after insurance, good. - No, I don't qualify for that. I don't work enough. - Okay, well we gotta get you on the board. - Thank you. - We gotta get you on the board. - Exactly. - Andy needs to have you come on watch what happens on every key month. - If you don't get, you don't get SAG account. - Oh shit. - Go on. - My scene on Pom Royale was under five minutes. - Okay. - Great inflation because every student is basically submitting the same SA because of AI. So now grades are kind of being scaled upwards. How are they even grading? - You know, band the other day was like, oh, let's ask AI, he goes, it's our friend. - Oh no. - He goes, it can teach us. - That's messaging. - Now we'll tell them that. - Ruining. - Someone at school clearly, but also here's what I will say. You know, the interesting thing is, we use it in our home like an encyclopedia to look up facts about-- - Get that fucking cycle. - Encyclopedia. - Encyclopedias. - No. - You do too, right Jordan? - Yeah. - Okay, stop. - We'll do it all as we ask you a question. I'm like, I don't know, and I'll say. - That will work. - That will work. - That will work. - Let me tell you all something. You gotta stop. It's killing communities. - That's how you're gonna get your bills. - I know. - One, two, it's taking away your fucking brain power. Look something up for once. - I know. - Okay. - Well, guess what? Oh, so look on-- - And it's very bad for children. It's very bad for children. I was just, I wasn't on Oprah, but Oprah has a new podcast that's coming out about how AI is driving children to have suicidal ideations. - Oh God. - Well, I'm just telling you what I know. - No, listen, I'm telling you what he said. - Well, I gotta get it been. This is what I needed to have. I need to keep them more often. - Okay. - No, I'm missing. - 'Cause you gotta come up to Harlem and know, like, let's go outside. - All right. - No, he goes outside. He's not like-- - He's gotta go outside with people. - Yeah, he goes outside with people, but also-- - Does he know them? - Yeah, but also, let me-- (laughing) - All right, all right. I've had enough criticism of my parents. - No, no, no, you're amazing. I'm doing great sweating. - I've reached my fill. All right, I'm at the brain here. - I'm with you on AI, baby. - Yeah, I am with you too. - It's like that post. - I'm reporting something that was told to him at school. - Yeah, I don't know who wrote it, but it-- - I want to kick that with someone. - Okay, it will be too. - It's Granny Nut's sack. - Okay, there's a great post. - Don't be mad Bill. - I don't know who wrote it. Who's like, you know, who's talking to somebody and they were like, wow, you mean to tell me, you guys wrote essays about the book you read and he was like, sweetie, we wrote essays about every-- - I've never read the book. - No, he never read the book. - Oh, we made it up. Like, yeah, like, anyway. - Everybody have a great day. - All right. - Listen to Bevy on Friday. - No, Friday's and in Bevy, Bevy YouTube, leave Bevy Smith. - You're a great daddy. You're a great dad. - Thank you. (upbeat music) - Thursday, May 21st, 2026. - Good morning, everybody. - Hey, John. - Hey, good morning. - Good morning, sweetie. It's our last show. We're off next week. - Yeah. - Watch what happens. - It's nice. - It's dark and we are dark. John's going to Spain tonight. - Very exciting. Are you-- Have I asked who you're traveling with? - Myself. - Oh wow. - I have two friends in Seatja's. I'm going to visit them. - Do you like-- I guess you do like traveling. - So I do. - I used to love traveling so low. I used to absolutely love it. Do you have a book? - Yeah. - What do you-- - Have a lot of stuff to do. I'm finishing my book and I'm reading it. I'm starting-- What if that roll my bones over the bodies of my dad? Yeah, that one. Okay. And then I have plenty to read. - Okay, good. Well, that'll be great. I'm excited for you. - And when do you get back? - The 31st. - Okay. Wow, that's a long trip. - Yeah. It's like four days in the big cities and two days in Seatja's. - Right. - Good. That's all you need. - And are you in Seatja's for a weekend? It's like a Sunday Monday, I think. - Okay. - All right. Well, that is going to be great. I'm heading to the beach tonight with the kids. And it was hot all week this week and beautiful in beach weather. And this weekend it's gonna be cool. And like in the 50s. - Oh, no. - Really? - Yeah. It just, just, whatever. - This was too hot. - I'm sorry. - Yeah, no, it was a hot week. - Too much. - And too early. But I mean, it would have been nice if it was hot. - Right. - Memorial Day weekend. - Right. - Yes. Happy that the Long Island Railroad strike is over. Next week, of course, we're off here. I'll be getting my right eye done. I cannot believe that I am having my third eye surgery. I don't like having eye surgery. But I will say, this morning I was walking around my apartment, I mean, just woken up. And I was marveling at the fact that I don't have, I mean, I have a right contact end right now, but my left eye, It really does. I see beautiful. I'm so jealous. I can't see shit. Yeah. So I'm excited for this right eye to be done. And then the following weekend, I am taking the kids to St. Louis to see my parents back to St. Louis. Gonna catch a cardinal game. And yeah. Anyway, now we have been, we've gone a few weeks without opening the mail bag. And I think we should do it. And parent Jordan says, it is, oh wow, that's a big stack. Okay. Yeah. So let's open it up. Okay, John, what do you got? Some of these I'll speed through because, I mean, I don't like when I speed through everybody, but some of these are just a lot of name pitches. KK and Oregon is pitching Josephine Montoya's. Oh, that's funny. So yeah, we were asking if our listeners should have a name the way that Jeff has the chumps. And Jordan said we got a lot of tons of submissions. So I think she put the best in there. Okay, the Josephine Montoya says funny. Move brief, he'll says the gals. Andy refers to women, random women this way. I love the gals. Wow, the gals. Laura Quinn, I identify as a cuck. I don't care what happens forever, cuck. That's funny, the cuck's. The cuck's is funny. It is funny. I like the cuck's, but then everyone is, then saying cuck's all the time. Yes. What's that? They're worse things. Hey, I'm a cuck. Hey, Andy, long time cuck here. Pretty funny. It is funny. Yeah, I don't hate it. Christina like ducklings, but cucklings, final answer. I think you're on one, hate it. And that's another requirement. Oh, she would know what a cuck is. Katie Campanella from Pennsylvania, the kid, the kids, like you say, the kids. Yeah, the kiddies. Caroline S. Daddy's darlings. No, Brett, thanks for being a part of my daily routine and friends through the radio as Wendy Williams calls it. Listening today, I think the name should be the wonkeys or wanks. My eyes. My eyes. By Andy's dreamy eyes, I think of the cute watch happens live animation. Plus gives the notion we see through Andy and Andy sees the colors and prompted for advice and thoughts. Kerry from California. Here's a few that came after my evening gummy. Una's Larry's burnouts. Oh, oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Maggie. How the chills. One plus hill also cool. Caitlin from Virginia, two words, the numpties. I do like, oh, that's this one. Go in from DC. You guys are good. Yeah. Like these people are really listening. Yeah, I mean, these are all very relevant. I'm going to throw out the daughters since Andy is everyone's favorite daddy. Okay. Let's see. Jen and Detroit. Here are a few ideas after being drunk. The shot skis, the bloops, the family, bone collectors, slut pigs, prostitution, horror, assault teens, maybe slam pigs. Jenny, I think I have the best name, the tea bags for Andy and John's feeling the tea, sexual interwendo and craftness. Well, Jenny, I don't believe it's curry crafts. She went deaf in her left ear because the Botox, that's who Jenny is. Georgia, the TTs, a plan on tea and tatas, Becky, the friendies, Monica from Philly, the peanuts, Tali from Oahu, I am a coho. I love Andy Cohen. I co-host. Oh, co-host, Amy from Tiburon, San Francisco. How about the Randy's? Anyone who heard about the Secret Fingering Club and still listens is most definitely Randy. It's also really Randy for short. Okay, I love the show. Thank you, Amy. Okay. Victoria from Virginia, Kunnies or Busseys. Oh, that's. (laughs) (laughs) Hi, I'm a messy. I really gave Andy the giggles. You're really dead. (laughs) Andrew from Orlando, hi, call us the Linettes. That's. I mean. That's a deep guy. This is Gail from Vermont. The chumps for name because David Bedore was trying to insult Jeff Lewis. So many listeners call in. Call the aunties the hoots. Okay. Shelley from New York City. This may be a bit much and take the wrong way. The first thing I thought of was Sissy's from Haysys. Highly with the all-do's. Oh. The with all-do's. The with all-do's, you two. Okay, should we close out the names? This is about your commencement speech. Okay. Scotty from Oceanside. Oh, Scotty. I cried. It was everything that a commencement speech should be and more. What an incredible writer you are. Please tell us the run-up to the delivery. Did it flow easily? Did you have someone at it where you were reading from Teleprompter? Because damn, you're so good. Bravo. Thanks for taking us on the journey. I agree. I wrote it over. I started writing it. You know what? I started writing notes in my notes app. And like when I was at dinner with Amy Sideras, we started talking about like, I don't know, saying no, this and that. And so I was keeping notes in a notes app and then I really started writing it in on spring break. And then I put it aside for a while and then I kept going back at it. So it was just over a period of time. And then I read it off of a Teleprompter and I just knew it because I had read it so many times that I really knew it. And thank you. Can I ask a question? How was the Teleprompter for you? I don't think you ever addressed that. Well, good question. And I didn't know because I didn't have a chance. But it was just fine. But I brought a copy in my pocket of the speech, printed out very large in case I couldn't read the Teleprompter. Smart. Yes. Brad says, "Andy, great speech. I washed you, but I was curious about your outfit choice. Why didn't you button the dress shirt all the way up and put on a tie. It looked a little bit too casual." I agree. That was my fail. Also why didn't you use some hair product or new hair to give it a more texture? Look and not as out of control. Love you though. Just sure. I like your hair. I like your hair. Look good. Ash, dear coent, dear Dr. Cohen, sorry, your speech. So proud of you. Have a great week. Kirsten from Canada. Dr. Daddy, your bitch. Jordan Scott, Andy is right. Jordan, it was good. I cramped from laughing so hard. Andy, I loved it. Very on brand. True to you. I love redefining success and emphasizing community. Thank you. Maggie F. Okay. So do you really want feedback or ask kissing? Well, your speech was a solid B, which is above average. Yeah. You know what? I would agree with that. I don't. By the way, I would even say it was a B minus. I mean, leading up to it, all of these people's speeches kept popping up. And I was like, oh God, I couldn't watch them because they were so brilliant. I totally agree with you. John Mayer asked me afterwards, how was it? Was it brilliant? And I said, no, it really was not brilliant. I said, I think the energy was great. And I think that people enjoyed it. Like that's what I said. But no, it was definitely not brilliant. Totally agree. It's very hard, by the way, which is why the brilliant ones really stand out. Very hard to say something new at those speeches. Right. You know, that hasn't been heard. They're all kind of about the same thing. Go on, John. Paul and New Jersey congrats on your graduation address and becoming a doctor. That being said, would have killed you to put on a tie. Look to shovel. Yes. You're a doctor now. Get it together. Are you going to mention your doctor the next time you see your eye doctor? Oh, I should have. Lisa from Delaware, Andy, your message at WashU was exactly what Grazine to hear. Time to leave those beer pong parties and think about successes of tomorrow. The good, the bad, the ugly, not all paths are straight. And that's for sure wonderful. Your parents were there for the special moment. I'm sure they were very proud. Well done, Dr. Cohen. Robin L. Taylor, Andy, sweetie. How could you not wear a tie? I know. And I agree. By the way, I was told that you couldn't see. I thought the robe like cut off even a collar. I was lucky I wore a collar shirt. Go on. Kristen agrees with Jordan. The speech was good. I think it's just because I've seen so many on Instagram. I will rate Andy's in third place first being Eric Church, second hoe to cut me. I just didn't love the last line of the speech. And I think telling these smarty pants kids to work on their glam felt a little flat. I don't think they're watching housewives. But more summer house. But overall, it was an A minus great job. Oh, A minus. That was a joke. Bill from Babylon still laughing at Jordan damning. Andy's wash you speech with faint praise. Having watched Andy's big speech. I have a question for the doctor. So much of it was rooted in housewives legend, Lord Troops and humor. I have a lot of college kids in my life. Let me, let me, let me stop and say. I only talked about the housewives being probably the greatest success I've been associated with. But I did list like four things I've learned from the housewives, but it was like a paragraph. It was not. Anyway, go on. I have a lot of college age kids in my life and they do not have with the housewives or really bravo at all. They don't know Teresa from a Neenie. Their moms, their gay uncles, that's a different story. I'm wondering what the crowd response was. I imagine the gals on the stands were eating up with a spoon. But what the graduates like, oh yeah, my mom watches those shows does. Andy think the housewives are two kids today with Jenny and Greg were kids two kids in 1982. I'm not sure that's the case. No, Andy from the podium did delivering that speech feel like a triumph or did it land like a third? What was the energy? The energy was great. The housewives part, let's say it was a 15 minute speech. I think the housewives part was maybe three minutes of it. So I didn't, I didn't really clock and I didn't really say anything. I didn't give many punchlines in the housewives thing. It was just kind of stuff I've learned from them about, you know, owning your mistakes and forgiveness and, you know, so go on, John. Kristen from New Jersey, Andy, I love your speech. The first full circle moment gave me chills. You really are such a brilliant speaker and storytelling, no matter what, the storyteller, no matter what Jordan thinks. LOL. All right, we're done with that. Now general male bad questions. Carey from Los Angeles, one thing Kathleen needs to chill about how Andy is parenting. Let her mentor all her famous parent friends instead. Shush, Kathleen, Shush. Shelley from New York City, no more calls from the parent Shamer. Please, I beg thanks. Jack Grant, Andy said, I met he and his wife when referring to street Dave instead of him and his wife kind of embarrassing for a doctor. Oh God. I know I get that stuff wrong. Francine. So some asshole on a plane who doesn't even know you gets tickets to watch what happens live, but true diehard fans can't man the guy you through your T. I should get season tickets in the Oprah chair then. Well, that's who is getting the ticket. Oh, the guy that threw that I threw the T. I know that's funny. Maria, high Andy, thank you, thank you. And last night's show for bringing up to Lindsay, the watchers comment about her letting Kyle answer. I was looking forward to in the city, but I'm not sure I can continue to tune in. She is just over bearing against my nerves. John loved the news smile. So funny. Yesterday I opened up threads and there were some people saying that was so rude of Andy to say to Lindsay. People on threads were were saying that she wouldn't let Kyle finish her sentence. I'm like, when we're live, I give direct feel like the audience is very much a part of the conversation. When we're live or on tape, but if they're responding in real time, I'm going to reflect that on the show. So that's what we do. Except fun. Kristen K, we have teenagers and bought a breathalyzer to be extra safe when our kids have large groups over. We don't allow drinking, but we are not foolish enough to leave. They don't sneak one night. I thought they were all drinking perpels to stay hydrated for soccer games. The next day I came to find out after hearing a kid puke, they filled their bottles of vodka. Anyway, we love the breathalyzer. Anyone knows we have one and everyone knows we have one and expects to get it when they leave our house after a gathering keeps them safe, helps them sleep at night. I sure hope you're on the radio when Ben is a teen. Those stories are going to be amazing. Well, Lucy will probably be your wild one of the two. I don't think I'll be telling those stories when they I think there's going to be an expiration date on here and about my kids. Anita from Phoenix, unfortunately, Arizona. I didn't put that that's literally written here. Please next time this insufferable, know-it-all calls again. Leave her on hold forever and a year of sin for just not hanging up on her. Enough is enough. Was a perfect song to follow. I'm listening as I write this. And John, the mahogany of it all, absolutely one of my favorite movies and I'm thrilled you discovered it. I was just a kid when I saw it for the first time in the 70s in the Hiccast, New Mexico town you can possibly imagine and the gorgeousness of that film sustained me for years. Anita has a way with words, Kate Roberts, Andy, I love you, but with all due, one could say your honorary doctor is also a participation award. Let Ben have his medal. A great sister. A great good point. Mel from Minneapolis, Minnesota, did it seem like Lisa Kudrow was just a little off the other night on Watch Rapids Live? Not only did she seem like she had some gossipy intel she was holding over Andy's head in regards to the BH sprinter event episode. People are saying she exposed an Andy Fib. It also felt like she was so nonchalant about the great Sally Field raving about her. No, she was snippy about the play O'Marie and not having seen it. She less Phoebe and Valerie and more of a my shale in real life. No, she was great and I think it was late at night. It was her last thing of the day. She was tired, but she was so excited to be there with Sally Field and she was she was lovely. Yeah. Arlin from Raleigh, I want to thank you for reminding me what a great show the Brady bunch is. I used to watch it all the time when I was younger and now I'm showing it to my five year old son. You're so right. The slow pace and lessons learned are great contrast from kids to TV today. I recently showed my son's amnesty's. Oh, Matt Hilton. Harriet, this by first. Oh my god, for these same reasons, Ben and Lucy. Oh, I have to blow my nose. Thanks again. You're a great dad. Kristen and Boston. Wow. Andy was lying. His eye doctor was super cute. They definitely had chemistry. You see, you see me? My other eye question is this if this is the best doctor around. I am not sure why they had to reduce surgery and then insults injuries. Thank you. I'm so glad to have surgery done. Yeah. Amanda from Jacksonville curious how John's tattoo removal is going. I have a horrendous tramp stamp. I like to get it moving. I haven't heard much on John's tattoo removal journey. As of late, it's going so well, it's almost gone. It will be gone by the end of the summer. It's exciting. Nama studios, you have to come to New York to do it. They're so bougie. They're not even a chain. And I know we had a mailbag person who says, stop shouting out brands and shit, but I'm telling you, they don't pay me to say that, but it is the only thing that has removed this tattoo. And they make it very comfortable and they give you juice. Jack, this the time Andy is right. We should he should apologize for telling so many stories about his children. Paulie was wrong. We are not living for stories about his kids. I don't deny that many love his stories. Hell, I wouldn't even mind, but on another program loving once kids is wonderful. But please start another show to talk about him. Leave this hour for the juicy stories we all live for Lisa from Laguna. Andy, did you get the inside scoop on SJ's Hang With Queen Camilla? Yes. Andy or John bin on a city bike recently. If so, how was the experience? I'm excited about Andy's appearance on the new port TV fest. If he flies in a John Wayne, he should be aware of the pilot may need to break hard upon landing. Do the short and runway. I think while I'm flying to JFK, I couldn't get into John Wayne for some reason JFK and LAX. God, there was something else. What else they saying? Have you ridden the city by recently? I've ridden the mold. Yes, they're great. SJ's Hang With Camilla. I did get the story. She's not very tall, I heard. She's so lovely. She said she is a voracious reader, like has read everything and knows and she was blown away by how smart she is. Very personable. Boring. That's all for this week's edition of Andy Cohen's Daddy Diaries podcast. To hear every minute of my Kiki with John plus interviews news and more, you can listen to my Sirius XM channel Radio Andy any time on the Sirius XM app. We'll see you right back here with more Daddy Diaries next week. Radio Andy. Always unpredictable. A Sirius XM podcast.