A Walk On The Wild Side | Reading Reddit Stories

Hello and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane and today's theme is some wild stories. These are just some wild am I the asshole stories and I am joined by two people who have really long hair. That's just a true thing and who are also acting wild. Olivia and Amanda, thank you for joining me here. We're just two girls with raw hair. I'm just, uh, we're just two girls who I really want. What are you gonna say? I want to take a bite out of this. Yeah, we do have big podcast. We're just two girls, but she's not a demon, right? Okay, not suspicious. Oh no, she's acting like, sorry, uh, uh, aura rings. I see them everywhere now. Yeah. Okay, I've had one for a few months. Let's go. Love this. You're about to do a tight five. I'm sorry. I'm seeing these all over the place. Come on upstate. What's up with that? Uh, I, I. You track your sleep? Courtney got it for me for Christmas. Oh, Courtney got it for Christmas. Courtney, is that your wife? Oh, wives. Talk about wives, huh? Continue. Podcast mics have changed you. I'm fully just doing standup now. She's just doing standup. Sitting down. Yeah. Um, well, I've been told that some of these stories are truly wild. I can't. All over the place. Yeah. I can't wait. I can't wait. I'm glad we're in this zone. How did we get here? All right, Vanessa Lachey. I said wild and I just thought wild. Yeah. Okay, go ahead. Wild and crazy. You're doing too much. Yeah, you're doing too much. Sorry. Please stop. Okay. Well, do you want me to just start reading these stories? Yeah. Okay. All right. Sure. Like, no worries. I think it would be really cool off, we'll offline about this, but, uh, when you end your day and cause your aura ring. Tracks like your stress. Your stress. I would love to see this hour. Honestly. So the last time. Yeah. Since I got the aura ring, when I do read stories days, it does often say I'm stressed, but I think that means I'm engaged. I think like, like it, like let's do a Shane guesses on guessing your own aura. Guess if I'm, if I am. Yeah. I'm guessing that I'm stressed right now. I got it to track my sleep to see if I'm sleeping well. And did you sleep well last night? I slept. Okay. It was like, it was like a, like a 78 out of a hundred. That's good. It's good. Yeah. It could be better. Yeah. Could be better. That's scary. That's really. What the hell is going on? You said wild and something unlocked. And you just, it's like, you're a sleeper agent. You, you have good sleep. You don't, I think you have, cause you're a mommy. And I don't know. I don't know why. Oh, you have a toddler. You must sleep really well. I did have good sleep. I just did a lot of meditating. Okay. You have quality sleep. You know, I sleep so hard because you're dead at the end of the day. Exactly. I have long sleep, but probably all at 13%. Oh, not, not efficient sleep. Not effective sleep. Not effective. Interesting. All right. Well, um, these stories, I don't think they have anything. I can't wait. Let's get into them. Sorry. Uh, but this first story does have to do something with wine, which I know Amanda loves. This comes from, am I the asshole? It's in February of this year. Am I the asshole for asking my friend to pay me back for the wine he drank while house sitting? Oh, I have so much to say. I already have thoughts. Me too. She's like, is it a full body? A chilled? Yeah. It depends on how orange, if it's like a $500 bottle of wine, but if you just have wine hanging out at your place, I would, I want to know if he opened a fresh bottle. That's what I need to know. Let me see some details. Okay. So I, a 26 year old woman, had my friend, a 27 year old man watched my place and my cat for the weekend. I told him he could help himself to whatever in the kitchen, which I thought was just like common sense for snacks and stuff. I got back and realized he opened this $120 bottle of vintage Barolo. I was saving for my promotion. He literally drank the whole thing alone while watching Netflix. When I asked him about it, he got all weird and said, I gave him permission because the wine was in the kitchen. Like, okay, but who drinks a hundred dollar bottle of wine without asking for it? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I sent him a Venmo for $80, gave him a discount, LOL. And now he's calling me tacky and told our group chat. I'm a bad host. I feel like there's literally an unwritten rule of guest logic where you don't touch the most expensive thing in the house. If I tell you to help yourself to my garage, it doesn't mean you can just drive off in my car. I don't know. Am I the asshole here? He's making me feel like I'm being extra, but I feel like he totally took advantage of me. I don't know. It's also just 120 bucks. Oh my God. I'm so, okay. Okay. First of all, okay. Here's the, okay. First of all, you go ahead. First of all, first, okay. Is there a price tag on your wine saying $120? Don't touch this thing. I, yeah, when you, I've gone to wine shops and when you look around, there's really no signifier of what makes a wine expensive or not. You have to know a lot about wine to clock. I also cannot stand when people go make yourself at home, help yourself to anything and they don't mean it. Yeah. If it was in the kitchen, honey, I would say that that's a compliment that someone's like, well, they said I could make myself at home. I'm going to drink this beautiful bottle of wine and watch Netflix. Absolutely. Like, I'm sorry that it was $120. That sucks. But don't you dare try to Venmo like ask for a Venmo. Yeah. It's like, and then this whole thing of like, well, it's an unwritten rule. It's like, yeah. If, if, but also what I would have done if I had something really special in my kitchen, I just said, help yourself to whatever, except the one thing that's expensive and I'm saving it for something. That's all. That's all you gotta do. This is outrageous. Also, did she pay him for the weekend? I know I'm like, if he's watching for free, then dude, if anyone's watching. So when I had a dog, if someone was watching my dog and they were like, I don't want to be paid, I would automatically get them dinner, a bottle of wine already have that set up. But if I said you can have anything, you best believe I'm being like, if there is a fancy wine, I'm going to tell them. But like, if I say you can have anything, then you can have anything. Yeah. I don't think it's that big of a deal. Like, like they're doing for me. I don't like to stay in other people's homes. So that's already a chore. And like, yeah, it's not like I don't want to. Anyways, what I'm saying is it's I don't think it's a big deal. And I would be happy for my friend to drink that wine. Yeah. Watch Netflix. Absolutely. Yeah. Courtney and I had Tommy watch our cats one time when we were gone for over a week. And we literally bought wine. We were like, because we wanted him to be there. We wanted him to be there and hang out with our cat. So when we came back, it was like, oh, he had some of the wine. It was like, good. A lot. He's hanging out. No, not a lot. We bought 50 bottles of wine. Did he drink them all? No. We bought some really nice orange wine for him. Oh, that's nice. Because we know that he loves orange wine. And also, but it was like, I hope if someone's staying and watching our cats, like I'm like, give them a reason to like hang out and stay there. Because the more time they're spending with your pet, the better. He probably only had one bottle of wine. And it that makes it look like it's for them. Okay. Can I say something? I agree with this. I'm just thinking about my own home right now. There is a bottle of wine at my house right now. It is wrapped in tissue paper and it has like a really pretty thing on it. I got it for Christmas. I haven't opened it. If it was wrapped in nice and stuff, I maybe wouldn't touch it. Okay. Yeah. I feel like, so you got us a really nice bottle of wine. We haven't opened it yet because we're waiting for a special occasion, which I'm kind of like, fuck it. Let's just do it. But it is something. Yeah. And we have had someone, you know, watch our son and we were like, literally help yourself. Yeah. But you know, we didn't come home to them having opened that. Right. So I don't know. Maybe it's also the type of people who know you too. Yeah. But I, I personally think you should not ask for money from, that is tacky. That was a slip. It's like, it's just like, kind of like, oh, I slipped up and I didn't tell them not to do that. I think it was like, oh my bad. You're bad. Yeah. You just got to take the L. Yeah. You kind of got to take the L there. And it's like, all right, at least it wasn't $500 or something like 120 bucks. A lot of money sucks, but also, yeah, I don't know what you were paying him or if you were paying him. I think she should ask him what the flavor notes were and, and if he really enjoyed it. Yeah. And if she would probably enjoy it as well. Yeah, absolutely. Just come up. I would just be like, Hey, I just want a one pager on this bottle of wine. At least tell me what it's like. Yeah. That's my payment is describing the Barolo. Describe it. What is a Barolo? Barolo. Isn't that an Italian wine? Am I crazy? It sounds Italian. I feel like I've had that before. I also love to put ice cubes in my wine. That's fine. What the fuck? Do whatever the fuck you want. Hey, my grandpa does that. Whoa, whoa. What kind of wine? Red or white? Um, white. That's fine. Uh, sometimes red. That's fine. Well, if it's not, you know what I love? Okay. You know what I love? I like putting ice in a full body red. Don't come at me. Listen, do whatever you need to do. You can do whatever you want. Okay. I will. No, do whatever you need to do. I just recently learned because at Epcot, I had ice wine and I thought that meant like, oh, there's ice in the wine or whatever. It's like, no, it's because they press the grapes when they're frozen. I didn't know that. And what was it? Was it a less like, uh, yeah, it is. Yeah. I don't like sweet wine. I don't even like orange wine. I still don't know wine that well. I really do. I do not like sweet wine at all, but I will fuck with a port, a port wine. Yummy. Portuguese port wine. Comments. A dessert wine. Someone said, well, first of all, the verdict was asshole. That the, they were the asshole. Yeah. That you, they're asking for money, just whatever. Um, comments. You're the asshole. Expensive and cheap bottles. wine look the same to people who don't know wine yep be more precise in your instructions for the person doing you a favor he assumed that you only have cheap bottles of wine because you cavalierly said to help himself this is tacky someone said you told him to help himself to whatever he did most people can't distinguish between a 15 and 120 bottle of wine and most people aren't going to read a receipt you left lying around either you're the asshole this one's on you lastly someone said you're the asshole you should just chalk this up to miscommunication yeah you said help yourself to anything in the kitchen if you had told him prior except for that bottle of wine i'm saving for my promotion you could ask for full compensation this is on you swallow your ego and let this go my dude it'll be better for the for my dude it'll be better for the friendship my dude it was a girl it was but she's but she's my dude hey but he's a dude she's a dude we're all dudes this redditor commenting is only says my dude my dude swallow your ego my dude my dude my dude you gotta follow my dude swallow your ego um fun do you think you could if like look at a bottle of wine and decipher its price range um here's i was just gonna comment on that the bottle of wine that looks the most boring and has like an old school label is the most expensive interesting one that's like fun pops of color or like a drawn woman like by the beach it's gonna be the cheap dog on the cover but i will say the most expensive wine looks very boring yeah because it's like chateau because it's just the name the name is it's a generational wine that that has perfected what they do and they keep the label the same there's this one bottle and i it's so good and it's chilled it's a chilled red and i just chilled reds are cool i just like that one you'll just send me a picture of it i will i think you would love and it's a good price i'm sure i would i've only had look i've not drank much wine i only started drinking wine at all last year but there's one bottle that i think is my favorite wine and it's a nebbiolo nebbiolo it's really good of course it is because i love it really what do you mean of course it is because he loves really really strong uh full-bodied like almost like a dry leather type interesting i found out that anytime any food or anything is described by non-food adjectives like leathery minerally uh woodsy yeah a little cigar smoke so he nebbiolo is like a very full-bodied italian wine and it's super good phenomenal moving on from wine the show our next story comes from am i the asshole this was posted in september of 2022 am i the asshole for kicking a server out of my wedding whoa what i a 25 year old woman and my husband a 30 year old man and i got married last friday we planned our dream wedding down to our dream catering company the wedding was beautiful after the pictures we headed to our cocktail hour and that's when i saw her my guests were all told to wear dark colors so my husband and i stood out i also asked my guests to wear minimal makeup i had assumed that applied to the staff too the server 19 ish female had on clearly too much eyeliner she also had diamond studs in her ears a flashy ring and one of those ugly nose studs oh my god the staff's uniform was a black long sleeve shirt but on her it was too low cut and her pants were far too tight it was super distracting she was walking around serving drinks and talking to my guests i asked another member of the staff to speak to their boss when their boss came out i pointed out the server and asked that she be dealt with by the staff and i said no i'm not going to do that because she was super distracting their boss apologized and called the server back into the kitchen not even an hour later the server was back out serving food for dinner i called the boss over again and asked if the server could work in the back or go home no her boss said they were short staffed tonight so she would see what can be done after a couple of hours of not seeing her i saw the server again behind the bar i called the boss out one last time and told her if the server didn't leave i would be calling the cops the boss finally relented and told the girl to go home my husband and mother-in-law said i was acting crazy and i probably got a poor college kid fired for over nothing my mother and maid of honor said it's my wedding so i can do as i please it's my wedding and i don't want someone overshining me and the server should know she's at work and not dress up so much i do feel kind of bad because she was pretty young am i the ass yes yes you're absolutely an asshole and more god i want to know how you are in your normal life because this is bad behavior probably bad all the time you're this is gonna sound really mean but i don't think you should get married continue yeah i don't think you go off i don't and i'm shocked you had i'm even shocked you had guests at your wedding you're a bad person and i think you should not be with someone for a long time and i think it would be a bad idea for you to have children go sorry go go off well this okay like you know that you know that balcony scene you know that balcony scene in succession when tom goes and i think you're a bad person to have children with that is me telling this person i just don't think this person is well i and it's going to um permeate through every other thing in their life and i and you know what it does make sense that the bride's maid was like yeah go off do whatever you want because they're also fucking nuts i i i will say all right i will that was so mean i'm so sorry you're probably a bad person that was that was pretty epic i will say i am so done with people being like it's my wedding it's my day goes just because you're getting married it does not give you the right to what appears to be to be your true self okay like yeah it does not give you the right to what appears to be to be your true self okay like yeah it does not give you the right to what appears to be to be your true self okay like does not give you the right to be so unbelievably rude to other human beings yeah this is someone who's working your wedding like also it's clear that you have a control issue over some you are literally punching down on another woman who's dressing what makes her feel good yeah the whole wedding your entire wedding you're focused on one like truly how insecure are you a 19 year old diamond studs and a flashy ring yeah i'm like lady you're 25 you're worried about a 19 year old who's doing their job your husband is going to be like i do and also that waitress yeah i'm like what what do you think like i'm just like probably what you think it is very telling about where her head is at insecurity and if i'm if i'm the fiance or the husband i'd be like dude i'd be like red red this is how this person views yes everything around them she should not i do i do agree with you because there's a lot of the like oh it's our wedding it's our day but when someone's so focused on controlling how other people look and how their bodies and being like all minimal makeup do not outshine me i'm like i don't know it's just it gets to weird territory where i'm like what your wedding can do so much doesn't mean you dictate how other human beings are around yes especially in the restaurant industry like this woman gets to wear whatever the f she wants i also have a feeling if we saw this this girl in person we'd be like she'd be like oh she looks fine i'd be like oh she looks fine i'd be like oh she looks fine she looks like she's works for a catering yeah she looks like she if she wore a low-cut shirt girl deal with it yeah like i guarantee she's probably like this with her husband anywhere they go yes her husband probably hates her because if you think about it this hot take from olivia is just killing me and she shouldn't have children like oh what satan is waiting for her yeah no yes but uh the fact that the boss that she called out the boss was like oh my god she's like oh my god multiple times and the boss just like sends her back out it shows like i'm like bosses are all like tough on people especially like i've heard catering companies and stuff like that's not you're not gonna have a boss who's like oh yeah do whatever like they're probably taking that shit seriously and he's he's recognized like what this lady's complaining about he's like we're short stuff she's working also working imagine that 18 year old girl she goes home and now she has a bad view on her body on how she looks like this is the biggest this is such a bigger issue and she's like oh my god she's like oh my god she's like oh my god she's so with young teenage girls is is there is the possibility that a man might find you attractive when you're in something that makes you feel good and what bothers me so much is women also just yes and these nasty toxic behaviors of going like yes see she's evil by wearing something tight and it's like hey if your man is gonna flirt with someone younger he's gonna do it whether she's wearing that or not yeah that's your fucking problem yeah i'm so done putting this on younger women of our generation of just like dude why are we making them the villains yeah right and this is crazy she's literally just doing her job she's doing her job she's a and by the way this this woman who's getting married she's 25 oh boy i love how it's becoming like things that aren't as big of a deal it's like and you're 25 and you're 25 you that's when you're that's when you're like what frontal lobe is fully developed i think didn't come out there's just like the the that's the that's just when the study ended i hope this woman you just keep getting more matured with age hey i hope this woman watches this it's me and you better see me i wear tight clothes and low shirts and big old diamond earrings come find me this is your biggest off now i will say to tell your guests to wear dark colors and minimal makeup this girl does not get enough attention in her real life that she has to what is with or she gets tons of attention but it's none of it's enough oh yeah none of it's just it's just such a toxic view weddings are almost kind of like it's one of those situations where you said it earlier of like it's it gives people permission in their heads to be who they really are to be who they really are like when someone's drunk it's like that's who they this isn't a bridezilla situation this is who this person really is it's just like yeah all right that's how you view people like that's your priorities so sad it is very sad it's very lonely i'm like this is a day of of uniting with your partner and yet people make weddings about anything but their partner that's literally what a wedding is something really sad because we've read stories obviously where guests wear white and stuff like that and it's like hey there are there are certain like you hope your guests are respectful of you but there is something very telling of like it's my day and the main feature of my day is that everyone else needs to be smaller and minimized i'm like that's what's important to you and that's so easy your friends yeah this is your community yeah like that's gonna raise you up don't you want on your day for everyone to feel good i will say you were like her family's calling her crazy but it's it's her fiance and her fiance's mom is calling her right and so her mom and her like go off yes she has been you're right and did her entire life i gotta say though if because what did did it say that her husband what um who was it who was calling her crazy uh my husband and mother-in-law said i was acting crazy and i was acting crazy and i was acting crazy and i was acting crazy yes if if if you're having a wedding and you're calling your wife crazy on the wedding day why are you getting married you're cooked your wedding is fully cooked your marriage is done all that shit all chopped god chopped all right it's chopped i i honestly like you're gonna have to this woman needs a lot of help yeah to to and we're gonna bring olivia in no no i help her no you're you need help like i don't think you can have a happy marriage or life if this is how you are to the world and to yourself you have you disrespect people yeah and your family hates you no yeah like your family that you're marrying into thinks you're crazy it's just like you know you've been disrespected and everybody hates you and you shouldn't be wearing that yeah sorry and your taste in movies is awful you didn't even write anything about that but i just know i know oh my god your letterbox is shit you don't even have one okay olivia before we move on to more stories are you certain this is this is the worst person we're gonna read about today i'm certain this is the worst person okay ever and i see her coming oh my god i hope we don't i hope for her sake we don't um we gotta read a few comments here uh you're the asshole but don't worry i'm sure the catering team will get it right at your next wedding oh okay olivia you are correct people are coming for her your marriage is so olivia probably made five accounts and that's me wrote it someone said you're the asshole too bad you didn't get to enjoy your wedding reception because you couldn't stop obsessing over a college age server the things that you objected to in the server could have been fixed she could have removed her jewelry the boss could have given her a shirt that covered her better but you didn't want it fixed you chose to complain about her and not the offending items this was entirely your choice to not enjoy yourself lastly someone said who spends so much energy on their wedding day because a server was wearing too much clothing and you didn't get to enjoy your wedding reception you're the asshole you need therapy this is not normal oh what was she thinking she got roasted she also threatened to call the cops oh we never discussed very telling that is the most caring which is very telling it's very telling behavior girl she is wearing tight clothes and i see a breast and it's coming out scary and there's diamond studs and a flashy ring like this jesus i know okay we can't rile her up any we can't i am gonna arrest you we can't rile olivia up we gotta keep it down okay now we gotta keep it down we must move on we must know let's see if anybody's worse than that i don't think so i do i don't think so it's always possible our next story comes from am i the asshole posted in september of 2021 good year that was my favorite year am i the asshole for being at breaking point with my husband's made-up language oh my god pig latin my husband has always been a bit goofy giving his own names to things and doing impressions about 18 months ago this started pissing me off yeah to be clear you said the lady from the last story is the worst person we're gonna read about today yeah about 18 months ago this started to increase a lot it's now a constant presence in our lives and i'm finding it difficult to live with examples he has his own name for most retail outlets professionals organizations eat your greens is walgreens sharts and gobbles is barnes and noble he has about 30 to 40 everyday words that he insists on using in place of normal ones scuppers with a rising whistle at the end is yes being with a descending whistle is no and bug yeah yeah good night oh he constantly does weird sound impersonations not like celebrities or characters but a single noise that's a made-up sound or something childish like a fart from a children's tv show he speaks random words like garbage or douchebag whilst burping or farting he has made up names for our friends which he uses sometimes even under his breath when we're out with them pam and will are pig and wig i've just had enough we got into bed the other night and i said good night and he said in the high-pitched voice he always does it in i snapped and asked why he couldn't just speak to me normally and he just laughed and came right up close to my face and did it again his whistling is constant he speaks to our kid in this stupid language and i'm worried it's going to confuse normal language development because he changes the words so often our toddler could be about to hurt themselves and instead of saying no or come here he'll say some ridiculous made-up word or sound and then get annoyed when our kid doesn't know what he wants he's normal in other respects works in finance and is totally professional around his colleagues but friend at home. I told him it needs to stop. I don't mind it occasionally or for fun, but it's all the time and it's wearing me down. He got upset and said I couldn't take a joke and that I'm not fun anymore. It's true that I've become more irritable and noise averse since we had kids, but I'm so worn out and over it and just want him to relate to me like an adult. Edit. I do not believe, but I'm not health qualified, that he displays any symptoms of Tourette's, autism, neurological disorders, etc. and hasn't ever done despite this. He is physically well by all measures. He is for sure not having a stroke or significant physical health event. Yes, I can see this could be a reaction to stress. For those asking why I married him, he did not do this to this extent before we had kids. Occasionally, yes, with the occasional name or words, but not this regular. He is amazing in many ways, but this one thing is now too much for me. I don't feel it's right to discount him or throw out the whole marriage because of it, but it does need to change. He will not go to therapy. We have discussed it calmly previously. He did not take me seriously or make changes. He sees this as funny and just a joke. I agree that we need to talk more. Yes, it can be funny occasionally. I'm not trying to spoil his fun. I also need an adult partner at times and for him to stop when not appropriate. Bing. Bing. Bing. Scuppers. Bing. I hate this. Okay. Okay. Here's what I think. I think when a man becomes a dad sometimes and a woman, they turn into something else, like a creature of sorts. And I think they get into this childlike place. I think not a lot of people talk about men after having kids. Women talk about postpartum, not enough, but men also go through a version of postpartum and maybe something has switched in him. They just become just in order to cope he's just like i okay he became crazy frog so i i have a made-up language too um chinese mandarin mandarin is not made up by the way this is made up i'm like i don't think i have a made-up language yeah no that's my made-up language yeah for sure for sure something has snapped in you something has snapped i do think that um having children something triggers a man to become more like a child and not always but not always but i think maybe maybe they start subconsciously thinking about when they were a child and how they were yeah i i've heard this before look at us professionally coming at this where it's just like he's giving her the egg trying to figure out big time he needs he also should go to therapy because i think there's him saying well it's interesting that did he say no he said he said he will not go to therapy we have discussed it calmly previously he did not take me seriously or make changes i think the issue about all of this is just that he doesn't do this stuff around his friends she's saying or at work and other situations he does around her she has asked him to stop and he just keeps saying it's just a joke it just sounds like he's being disrespectful of her like that's no matter how silly the circumstances are he's just not listening he clearly is not he's a financial bro his his financial bros would never accept this probably he clearly is not getting a creative outlet that he needs he needs to go fucking take a clown workshop he does need to do clowning he does he does he has he's having a creative this guy needs to be an improviser yeah no sometimes i feel like if i were in a job like this and i can't be crazy and wild i might this might happen yeah yeah imagine i was a financial person and i was like walking over to people's desk and i was like hey y'all like i would go home and be like wet for dinner exactly exactly like i would lose my shit his calling he's not doing what he actually enjoys but the kid situation him speaking to the kids in another language that would bother me so much the real issue i think here is that he's not doing what he actually enjoys but he's not doing what he actually enjoys is that he's speaking to their kids in a made-up language which they're in a development phase which would would frustrate me because those aren't real words that they can use the kids are confused and they're very confused and then it said he will say instead of saying no he'll say he's made up stuff and then get frustrated when the kids don't respond yeah that's weird what's going on we don't know what pig means i look i'm not a psychologist yeah pig and wig um i'm obviously a psychologist by any means i have no uh expertise in it but i do feel like what seems to be happening is this guy there's there's something going on yeah yeah and this is a weird way that it's coming out of him yeah yes and he's going oh i don't need therapy i'm fine it's like no i don't think you are something's occurring going on inside your head yeah i don't know what it is but his kids are bringing out some side that was suppressed yeah because especially because he's downplaying it when he's being a like he is not recognizing what's coming like you're not fun anymore yeah like i can understand why comments and stuff are going oh is there Tourette's or autism or something because it's it's displaying like like oh there's like something neurological maybe happening and i think maybe but it's maybe more like maybe it's like a trauma response i know it can be get your brain scanned he really should go because i feel like someone this is an interesting behavior that's happening there is also the element of like she's like this is wearing me down there is also the element the possibility that he's this is a form of just pure like manipulation and just just possible we don't know who these people are at all doing this to berate her because he sees how much it affects her people do mean shit i don't know yeah i'm saying we don't know these people these are all possibilities this is still not as bad as wedding woman okay i do agree with you i agree with you uh the verdict is not the asshole she's doing nothing wrong um comments is this a real post if it is you got problems op not the asshole op said i wish i was joking i sometimes wonder if lockdown broke something in his brain someone said not the asshole i do this kind of stuff a lot mostly the one about imitating stuff from shows i quote random tiktoks all the time make weird noises to myself etc but i'm more than capable of cutting it out if i have to i used to say my guy all the time until it became a habit i don't know about that one my guy all right my guy that one specifically drove my ex up the wall and when he told me he hated it i made a concentration effort to stop saying it the fact he doesn't do this around other people shows he's more than capable of knocking it off when required and that he's aware at least on some level that he's doing it the only thing i can suggest given that your husband doesn't seem receptive to an adult conversation is that you refuse to engage with him unless he speaks properly like if he says scuppers or whatever it was just act confused and say sorry was that a yes or a no basically don't react to these weird made-up things he's saying and show him you're not going to play ball on him and you're not going to play ball on him and you're not going to play ball on him and you're not going to play ball on him yeah op said thanks yes i think this is a plan it's been going on for so long now that i don't often have to ask for a translation anymore so i tend to still reply to his nonsense i'm going to stop answering unless he speaks normally scuppers so scuppers scuppers scuppers do you want um lobster for dinner scuppers scuppers okay i am laughing it is funny also my guy is not the same as a man i was saying dude a lot and man my girlfriend was at me someone said no one's the asshole have you spoken to him directly about the fact you've noticed he's doing this more often is it possible he's falling into this silly type of thing to cope with other stresses yes i completely understand being annoyed by it but if the frequency has increased there is certainly a reason for it maybe giving him the opportunity to open up about this in conversation as opposed to a response to you snapping will shed some light and make things easier for everyone involved op said yes loads of times a few months ago we had a serious but calm discussion about it and i told him it was too much and i couldn't take it all the time he said he didn't notice he was doing it so i started pointing it out and he got fed up and told me i was being way too picky i just can't take it anymore i'm sick of reminding him to not be so gross burping and making weird noises we're having dinner and the high pitch sounds make me want to claw my eyes out he even does it whilst i'm trying to settle our toddler for bed which just gets him all hyperactive and hard to settle i'm sorry the toddler's going to bed she's like good night so he's like garbage whatever he said no he says garbage when he burps right yeah garbage garbage this is so all right we've come back around he's hilarious he's not there's something going on and i would lose my literal mind yes i would lose my mind i think this person needs help professional help yes you yeah probably update oh my god thank god it's been several months since i posted this so thought i'd come back to update as requested he eventually agreed to get checked out confirmed neurotypical and no other health concerns we were referred for marriage counseling and he wouldn't go i ended it and i'm slowly rebuilding my life honestly this post was just the tip of the iceberg and i'm exhausted but glad to be out he also ended up really insulting our close friends and it all spiraled into complete hellfire so so they got i'm sorry wait she's saying this was just the tip of the iceberg there was okay so this is the reddit thing that happens a lot where someone writes in they go they go oh my my husband's making silly noises and then they update and they go oh by the way he also uh tried to murder me it's like yeah okay so the silly noises were not the problem they didn't want to they don't want to fully admit the big scary well they're kind of like yeah they're kind of processing like yeah he he makes silly noises and that crazy and in the back of their head they're like he tried to kill me yeah yeah he cheated on me um wait so they're just divorced they're divorced and so the kid is gonna go to dad's house and it's gonna be all made up language it'll be interesting if he continues doing it he will i'm surprised he was willing to go to a doctor to get checked out and they're like yeah he's not because he probably knows that he's not yeah yeah wow maybe maybe he did it so she would divorce him and and and it was her decision like like a like a gone girl type of thing yeah this is gone girl this is gone girl shane's not buying it he doesn't like it i just but yeah yeah girl no but it's also funny when it's like oh why did you guys get a divorce well um i was like saying all these i have a made-up language and that's that's crazy garbage damn yeah still not still not still not uh as wild as the no lady's the worst but then but then this this woman and her future dates or husbands or partners they say one little quirky thing she's like she's like stop he's like gotcha she's like stop he's like it's a slippery slope she's like no no stop it he's like oh yeah yeah oh yeah one of them burps she pulls out a gun she's like better fucking enough enough enough don't you dear she keeps attracting these people yeah she's just with a cartoon wow okay our next story comes from relationship advice this was posted in october of 2025 i hurt my friend's girlfriend's feelings by saying his ex was a better cook how do i make her feel better all right so op is a 32 year old man his friend is a 26 year old man and his friend's girlfriend is a 28 year old woman once again i hurt my friend's feelings by saying his ex was a better cook how do i make her feel better it's just facts that's just how it is sometimes yeah my friend recently started dating this new girl i would say it's been about six months since they started dating one thing that i noticed is he's cooking way more than he did in his previous relationship this is the first relationship since he and his ex broke up for good and one thing about his ex she could cook she made by far the best pork chop i have ever tasted but everything she made she could do some crazy work in her life and she's a good cook she's a good cook in that kitchen my wife is more of a baker but when they would both team up where she cooks and my wife would bake it was like shack and kobe now unfortunately my friend's ex cheated on him but i was able to convince him to try to make it work because that pork chop but then she yeah pork chop holy shit but i convinced him to try to make it work but then she cheated again and there was no convincing it it sucks because i missed those pork chops what the hell someday he had my wife and i over for dinner, and surprisingly, his new girlfriend was cooking. In his new relationship, he's been doing the majority of the cooking. Her cooking was average. He is good, but his ex was great. So after we ate, she said, be honest, how was it? Oh, no. Olivia is losing it right now. It's so funny. They were like, Shaq and Kobe is crazy. Put those pork chops though. She cheated on me five times. She cheated on your best friend, you go, you gotta go back. You gotta go back and invite me over the night she comes back. Okay, so this new girl asked about the cooking. She goes, be honest, how was it? Oh, no. So my wife and I were honest, like she asked, and said it was average. We talked about how his ex was the most amazing cook ever and gave her some tips. My wife said if we ranked her cooking, it would be my friend's ex, herself, me, my friend, and then his current girlfriend. I disagreed. What the hell is happening? What? When they said be honest, it's not one of those situations where you're gonna need to be honest. Be honest. Hey, okay, how was this food that I just cooked for you just now? Be honest. Oh, well, his ex, who's hot, by the way. Yeah, she's very hot. Bigger tits than you. By the way, yours are an A? Yeah, her cooking was the best. She was the Kobe of cooking. And my wife is the Shaq of baking. And she's like, yeah, I asked you about how this plate of food. Nice ass. Let's be sorry. My ranking is my friend's ex, my friend, my wife, my friend's current girlfriend, and then me. But I do think there is room for debate after the first two, to be honest. But I don't think it's close. My friend's ex by a wide margin. Then my friend himself. You can play with the other order somewhat after that. Then we talked about how combining my friend's ex's cooking with her baking was an unstoppable force, lol. Anyway, her feelings were really hurt. Yeah! And my friend made us leave. My wife and I are confused because she asked for honesty, and we were giving her feedback. Now I see we should have lied, but don't ask people to be honest, and then get mad at honesty. But still, I do want to make it up to her. Any idea is welcome. Cook some pork chops! I'll take long to reply because I'm at work, but will when I can. Thank you. She didn't ask for a ranking. Dude! No, what if she did ask for a ranking? She didn't. She said, how was the food? Be honest. Could you imagine? And they said, okay, so if I have to rank, if I have to rank it. They're just sitting there going like, well, let's rank them. Well, of course, the hot, hot, hot ex with the big ass. Did Podcast Mike swoop in in front of them and they go, well, all right, if we're going to rank it, can I laugh? His ex. Okay, can I just say, yes, that is really mean to say to a new girlfriend entering their friend group. However, I think I appreciate this type of honesty. Yeah, I get it. You know, it's like I can appreciate this type of honesty if it's welcomed by all in the room and expected, but she was not asking for that. No. She was asking for her feedback. It's not like if, okay, if you, if we go into an audition and you go, yeah, how is this read? It's like, well, if I had to rank all of the actors today, I would love that. I would actually appreciate that. I wouldn't. I'd be like, yeah, how can I do better would be what I do kind of agree with like there is the auditioning thing. I would be like, yeah, I want that. Yeah. Tell me the truth. There is a world where being able to handle that type of honesty is very freeing. Yes. But in this situation, she cooked something and she asked for feedback and they went into talking. Don't bring up someone's ex. Don't ever bring someone's ex up. First of all, average, not a fun word. Don't use it. Nobody likes mid or average. It's crazy how average means, oh, it's the most common, but, but it's, it's bad. Also, it's almost worse to say bad. She put down the food and go, okay, what do you guys think? Be honest. As it like a, it's chopped up hot dogs. Well, okay. Here's the thing. What if I did look crazy. What if the ex is Bobby Flay or what? Or Gordon Ramsey? True. He's married. Well, you know, or, and Martha Stewart. Wow. His ex is Martha Stewart. Do you know what I mean? I didn't know she was good at pork chops. It's Ina Garden, you know? She's, okay. She's married and her and Jeffrey have a very solid relationship. No, I'm saying like, what if it was like the best cook? No, I know. Like, why is this friend convincing the friend so hard even after she cheated to get back? These pork chops must be the craziest. These friends gotta let this ex go. What if they just befriend the ex? OPs need, they, it seems like that's what they want. They should just be friends with the ex so they can keep eating her pork chops. They cared about the pork chops so much. Honestly, what they need is they just need to get the recipe. Yeah. And get better at cooking it. Yeah, but it sounds like the way she makes it. No, it's more than just the recipe. Pork chops are, pork chops are not easy. Pork chops are not easy. I think. That's an advanced recipe. You have to cook with love. Them saying it was, it was not that great is not the problem. It's that they brought up their ex. It's they compared to the ex. People. They could have said, I thought it was dog shit. That's fine. No. It's not fine. Shane, no. She said, give me honest feedback. And they could say I actually hated that so much. But. What are you saying? Don't, but they really fucked up by bringing up his ex. That's where I think they're really the asshole. If someone said my food was dog shit. I would not, if, I would never say that to someone. I would never, no. I would not say that. Oh, if you hated it, would you say you liked it? I'm also, oh, here's, okay. Let me be completely honest here. I, I rarely hate food. Like I have, I don't know. So you're just like, you just shovel it in. I'm saying, so you have no taste. I'm never going to be like, I hate it. If, if I was, if I was with someone I trusted and we had a good relationship where I know I could be honest and said, how was it? I would maybe be like, I think it maybe needs more of this or like, I would offer like how I think it could get there. But I'm saying that I don't think they're necessarily assholes for whatever they said. When someone goes be honest, how do you like it? And they go, I hated it. But where I think they're assholes is don't rank her with his ex. Don't bring up the ex. I think you're an asshole if you bring up someone's ex. I have a conspiracy theory. Go on. Go on. Ex-girlfriend told them to say that. You think she was like, I'll give you an unlimited supply of pork chops for one month. Yes. They go, oh, we're actually, we're, they were going over for dinner. And she goes, you know what? You tell, you tell her, you tell her that my food is better. You want a pork chop on your pillow tonight? Yeah. You go tell them. Yes. And I want you to say average. That's my conspiracy theory. I love that. Is there an update on what her plan was? We don't have an update on this, but we do have comments. Okay. Comments. You wanted your friend to stay with a cheating piece of shit so you could occasionally have pork chops. Damn! You're a shitty person in general. I'd unfriend you in a heartbeat. I love that he's asking for suggestions and people are just roasting him. How do I fix this? OP said, that's not why I wanted them to stay together. I thought she was genuinely remorseful and I could tell he really loved her. The breakup devastated him and he didn't date for a while after that. Someone said, she didn't ask how her food compared to his ex. She asked how her food was. If you can't figure out where you went wrong, I wouldn't be expecting an invite back. Someone said, so the girlfriend asked for feedback and you compared her to a cheating ex? Why? Constructive feedback can be, it was a bit dry or I prefer a bit more flavor, but a direct comparison to another person, much less someone like the ex, isn't helpful or kind. You need to apologize profusely. And vowed to never mention the ex again. You sound like you're in love with the ex, or at least her cooking, to try to push her onto your BFF and his ex in such a cruel fashion. She asked how the food was, not a comparison between everyone sitting in the room. Mentioning the ex wasn't needed. And why did you try to convince him to take back a cheater? Because you missed those pork chops? Seriously, did you American pie those pork chops? That would be so hard. It would be really tough. How would you get it even in there? OP responded that saying, when I told him to take her back, it had nothing to do with the pork chops. I could tell that he really loved her, and she illustrated to my wife and I that she was serious about changing and rebuilding his trust. Yeah, right. Yeah, so no one actually gave him suggestions on how to. Nobody was. I don't know. Well, someone said apologize profusely. The pork chops. This person likes to make comparisons. Shaq and Kobe in the kitchen, you know? Which is hilarious. Yeah, so I think this is their personality. If he said that to this person. Wait, who's Shaq in that? Who's Shaq? His wife. The baker. The baker is. I think the baker, yeah. Shaq and Kobe is the pork chop woman? Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. I would say that's. Because pork chops, that requires more. No, I would say a baker requires more accuracy and stuff, so maybe that's Kobe. Whereas a cook is a more general. You know, that's the main event that. I'm enjoying this. Well, Kobe is also the main event. They're both the main event. That's why there was so much competition between them. For sure. With Shaq, it was an unstoppable force. Kobe could hit threes like nobody's business. So. So I think he's the pork chop. What are you gonna do? And Shaq? Because you have to double-triple team Shaq. So you're saying Shaq is the pork chop? You have to triple-team his wife. Wait, wait, no, no. He's not a triple-team. Kobe's out there walking pork chops. Shane, you're talking about something completely different. And look, it's the reality. It's what you have to do. If you want to triple-team the pork chop woman, do it. No. Like, if that's your goal here. Oh, my God. My whole point to come on Reddit story is just to roast Shane. Yeah, it's easy. If they said the Shaq and Kobe thing, to this current girlfriend, there's no going back. You can't compare someone's ex to Kobe. I would've laughed. I would've been like, what the hell? And then I would've laughed. What is going on? No, for sure. I kind of want to get to know this person. Which one? I don't think you. But, Amanda, you are someone who I think nothing's gonna, like. Oh, me and Garnet, when we eat our food, I'm like, what did you put in this? I'm like, oof, no. Too much, too much of this. And he's like, yeah, you're right. Yeah, same. When you're in, like, a long relationship. But is it good? Holy shit. - By the way, I'm an amazing cook. You are an amazing cook. I'm an amazing cook. You are. But like if I'm doing something like my partner would be like, oh, yeah, this feels a little too, you know. I will say, though, the better of a cook you are, the less offended you are by notes. Yeah. Because you guys are both, you know a lot about cooking and your husband knows so much about cooking. I feel like people who know a lot about cooking, they're actually eager for feedback because it is a constant experiment. Yeah. But if you're not that much of a cook, it's very much like, oh, it's a big undertaking you're taking on and you want to know that you've pleased your guests. Yeah. So that's tough. It's tough. But don't compare someone to their ex. No. Or Shaq or Kobe. I mean, that sounds fun. But we still also clarify, is your wife the baker Kobe or is she Shaq? I need to know which one is Kobe. Yeah. We ask them. I mean, if I'm them, you got to apologize. You have to apologize. What profusely means, I don't know. My advice to Oprah. OP is have your Shaq wife bake something awesome. Come over and say, hey, how are these? Be honest. And then she'd be like. And then let her do whatever the fuck she wants to do. It's probably amazing. Yeah. Here's the thing. Everybody offers something different. So it's like, yeah, the ex was a great cook. This new girlfriend probably is great. Won't cheat on him. Won't cheat on him. And that's better. Yeah. And they can order out. It's like, hey. But goddamn, those pork chops though. I really. I really want these pork chops. Yeah. Pork chops are really good. I don't need pork. And to be clear, the woman is still the worst. The woman is still the worst. The bride is the worst. The bride is still the worst person. Diamond studs. Okay. Flashy ring. Yeah. Our final story comes from Am I the Asshole? It was posted in February of this year. Am I the asshole for confronting my girl when I realized she took credit for something she didn't really do? Ooh. So a couple of days ago, my girl and I were celebrating and she told me she made me chocolates as a gift. She was super excited about it, saying she spent hours on them. She works a little waitress job, so she doesn't have a ton of money. That's a crazy thing to say. Oh, sorry. My girl, she works a tiny little waitress job. What the hell? I cannot handle this. So she doesn't have a ton of money, so I didn't mind her cheaping out a bit compared to what I got her. Oh, wow. I thought it was sweet that she tried. I didn't even know she knew how to make sweets and stuff because she always says she can barely cook. She's not Kobe in the kitchen. Anyway. Anyway. I asked her how she learned how to make it, and it turns out she just melted pre-made chocolate and poured it into molds. She didn't even make any of the fillings herself either. She got store-bought caramel and fruit spread and stuff. Literally all of it was pre-made. She barely put any effort at all, and then she was all proud of herself. Usually I try to let things go because she's so sensitive to criticism, but it just really irritated me that she tricked me like that. So I called her out on lying about it. She got upset and said she did make them because she put in so much effort. Halfway through arguing. She started arguing with me about if it's okay to lie to me or not. She just starts texting someone and says she doesn't want to argue anymore. She ended up getting her sister to come pick her up, and she's been hanging out with her instead of me for the past two days. Her sister called me a dick on her way out too, which kind of makes me think my girl lied to her also about making them. Otherwise, I don't know why she'd be mad at me. At first, I was really sure that I was right, but maybe I need to be more forgiving of it. Like at the end of the day, I know she's not a great cook, so maybe I should have expected it not to actually be from scratch. She's usually really sweet. She's always sweet and texts me a lot, but she hasn't been talking to me much the past couple days, so I'm starting to feel like maybe I overreacted. Edit for clarity, you guys are really upset about the way I talk and just wanted to address it. She knows I call her my girl. She calls me her dude. She calls it a little waitress job too because it's basically just a side gig. How I talk is not really the problem at all, and I think it's strange you all are so focused on it. Anyway, some others said my age and what I got her matters, so I'm 32 and I got her some old figurines she collects. Also, she's a good girl. Just to clarify, you guys seem to think she put a lot more effort into this than it sounded like she did from her explanation. I've seen people talking about thermometers and how hard it is to make chocolate melt, but she literally only used the microwave to melt it, and she doesn't even own a kitchen thermometer, so I doubt she used one. Maybe everyone just isn't understanding when I say she's got really little experience cooking and didn't seem to put much effort into these. She literally just melted it in the microwave, poured it into molds, and then put stuff she bought inside of it. That doesn't even sound like what you guys are saying. Homemade chocolates are done like. Some people have said I should make my own to see how hard it is, and I think I might because you're all describing actually sounds hard, unlike what she did with the microwave and everything. Okay, my little dude, I'm so sorry. I don't think you deserve to be in a relationship, my little dude. No. Because your little girl, little waitress job, she's gonna have a way better time not making you goddamn. This man does not want anything. Exactly. This man does not want this little girl. This man does not want his girl to succeed at all. No. He consistently, I think he said it like seven times, that she didn't put any effort into it. You're a little man, okay? You're a tiny, tiny little man with a very, very average, below average brain. Oh, get him. And brain, okay? Yeah, get him. And you know what I would love to do to this person? Oh, yeah, get him. Get him. I would love to do this to this person. I would love to go inside your house. Oh, okay. Take away everything. Okay. Okay, so you're robbing him. I want to take away your stove. Oh, that's gonna be interesting. Your shoes. A very interesting thief. I'm gonna move your ass out of your house. Oh, yeah. Move that stove. And then you're gonna go in your house, everything's gone. Yeah, take the shoes and the stove, for sure. No, no, no, everything. I'm saying everything. Oh, everything, yeah. No, no, I'm gonna get it. But you're gonna start with the stove. No. Yeah. I want to take everything out of your life. Yeah, stove first. So you're just an empty, little, tiny, little man. Yeah. God, and you know what? I'm gonna, I hope you never get married. Okay, yeah, yeah, bring it around. No, I literally hope you never get married. Okay, yeah, get him. Yeah, get him. So stove first, and then deserve to be loved. You get him. I'm gonna be back here, but you get him. Yeah, you get him. No, I'll be here. I'm right, I'm here. Honestly, this little dude, man. And I will say, I was, when he was talking about her, I was gonna be like, so just the way you're talking about her shows you that he's a man. He shows that you don't have any respect for her. So then he said, edit, and as he's trying to say, hey guys, this is our thing, he's again disrespecting her, even double time in the edit. I fucking hate this person. Yeah. Yeah, but you said the other lady's worse. Oh, yeah, Olivia. You said she was the worst of the day. Olivia. They're both equally the same. No, you gotta, you can't. Yeah, you gotta pick. I'm trying to think now. Scuppers. This is making scuppers look like freaking nothing. This is making scuppers look like nothing. This is making scuppers look like Bing, you know what I mean? To be clear, she made chocolates. What's the difference in making chocolates? I kind of don't really care how people make chocolates. Like, I'm like, you made me chocolates. You bought me chocolates. She put it in a mold and added fruit. And filled it with stuff. That sounds hard. I'm sorry, she gave you, she spent her time. She spent her time. He's mad about the process in which she melted chocolate. He failed. He should be so happy that anything, even she went to buy a Russell Stovers from CBS, and that is enough. Honestly, that shit's good. You're upset by chocolate? Who's ever upset when they see chocolate? Yeah. No, he clearly has a complete, a very specific take on who his partner is and should be. And he's judging her from the get-go. He's like, she has no experience. But really? She da-da-da? She has a little waitress job and probably no money. But really? She spent all of her time off? She probably works all the time. She spent her time off getting all the ingredients and making it. Well, you're at home masturbating to some weird, weird stuff. 'Cause you're a weirdo. The Vertical Asshole comments, "Dude, my girlfriend knows how you feel. "For Valentine's Day, I made her a prime rib roast "with garlic mash and baby carrots. "The problem is I didn't raise the cow, butcher it, "and then prepare the roast. "Instead, I bought it from the store and cooked it. "And that's not all. "I didn't grow the potatoes, the garlic, or the carrots. "She got mad that I bought them too. "And don't get me started about the dishes. "Those came from Ikea. "All I did was spend two hours prepping, cooking, "and serving and cleaning. "What a knob I am. "You're the asshole, man." Someone said, "You're the asshole." - Oh, fun. What a fun guy. - Someone said, "You're the asshole, "and she works a little waitress job "was all I needed to hear." Someone said, "You're the asshole. "That's literally how you make homemade chocolate. "I was expecting you to say someone else "had melted the chocolates and poured it. "This gift would have taken, at minimum, "an hour for her to make. "You owe her a huge apology." Update. - Yes, yes, yes. - All right. - So he posted a picture of the chocolates his girlfriend made. - I need to see. - On the subreddit chocolate, claiming that he made the chocolates for her to get an unbiased opinion. Okay. Put together. - What? - Put together. So he posted-- - What a manipulative weirdo. - He posted on chocolates, a subreddit, saying, "Put together chocolates for my girl. "Do they look okay? "And they look fantastic." - Wait, wait. Oh my God. They're like stars. - And there's white chocolate. - Oh, wow. - There's white chocolate and regular chocolate. - Yeah. - Oh shit. - What do you expect? - They look amazing. - They look like chocolate. - Have you seen a fucking, sorry. Have you seen a chocolate in your life? That's how they look like. - White roses. - Comments on that. "Man, why do I have to run into you twice in one day? "For the record, if you had been supportive "and complimentary toward your girlfriend's efforts, "she might've worked up the confidence eventually "to try making them from scratch. "Little steps are important. "I doubt she'll ever try making chocolate again now." Someone else said, "Dude, what the fuck is this? "You're not making it any better." I love that people They followed him to the chocolate. They're like, we followed you to the chocolate land. Oh my God. This little dude is in chocolate land? Let's get him. You think you can hoodwink us on Reddit? My fedora's on so tight, my head hurts. I've got a headache, little dude. You're not going to escape me. Watch out, little dude. My headache and I are coming for you. Update number two. Shut up. A lot of you guys were so dramatic. I really couldn't take most of the comments seriously. I still think homemade chocolates implies that every part is homemade, but clearly most people just say homemade imprecisely, so I think it's not really her fault that she used that word in this situation. I decided to go ahead and apologize since it's clear she didn't lie since she didn't mislead me on purpose. I also chose not to make chocolates myself because I don't care to be in the kitchen much. I hate it. I thought if I posted a pic of the ones she made and asked for feedback from people who actually know what they're talking about, I could get a better idea of if she actually did them right or not and how hard that might be without having to try myself. Like I said before, she doesn't even own a thermometer, so all the people saying she tempered it right based on one comment where I talk about them being crunchy were probably wrong in my opinion. The problem is that some of you are weirdos who follow people to other subs. At first, people were complimenting her chocolates, so I was thinking maybe I really do need to apologize for thinking she put in no effort, but then someone posted a link and a flood of. of people showed up to insult them just because I said I made them. There were a lot of comments saying how it's obvious no effort was put in, they look terrible, etc. But I can't trust those since they came from a poisoned well, so to speak. I decided to just not mention that point to her since I couldn't get a clear answer on if they actually turned out well according to people who actually know about chocolate. So I texted her to ask if we could talk it over and she agreed. Because of how dramatic the commenters were, I did start to get a little nervous, so I decided to go kind of over the top with the apology, took her on a date to a little arts and crafts place she likes to go, and I got her some food. She also apologized for running off to her sister's place and said she's going to take a little break from her for a while because apparently she said some pretty messed up things about me that upset her. I guess her sister thought she was going to dump me, so she assumed my girl would laugh along with her when she made some bigoted comments and said a few other things that really hurt my girl's feelings, which is great in my opinion. I always got the feeling her sister never liked me and I guess I know it's. now it's clear why. Anyway, I'm just glad she came home and everything settled down. Sorry to all you people hoping she'd freak out and throw away 10 years over something as silly as candies, lol. She may have a history with lying, as I mentioned in the comments, but she's definitely a lot more mature than you people. I can't. Okay, I. I literally. I just went to chocolate land and I wish I never went there. I literally can't with this little dude. There's a subreddit for everything. If he says little, one more goddamn time. It's so condescending, a little. a little. arts and crafts. Like, you. For stupid little arts and crafts. You are so belittling and you are just so. Yes, and you have no. Belittle. Little. Littly. You have no self. confidence or. Thank you. Like, you're not. You know what? If I had to rank this. Yeah. With this person as worse. And then that other guy's ex. This person is worse. Then you think this guy's worse than the bride. Yes. I think they're completely different categories. I think this person is worse because this. Because this person will not change. And he's like, you guys are weirdos for following me to another subreddit. I'm like, you're the weirdo. Who did that? When and how is she ever going to ever make anything again for this man? Or sorry, this little dude? Yeah. How is she. How is. How is this. How are they gonna make little things together ever again? You know what? I think she should get. You know what? Maybe this will boost her confidence in learning how to make. She'll be an incredible chocolatier. And she. She needs to move to Switzerland to learn how to make I guarantee she was like, oh, I'll just make some fun chocolates for February. That's it. She probably doesn't even. But he just. I think it's even bigger than her making these chocolates. He just literally does not respect her and doesn't see. Doesn't see this, like, growth. How can they even grow together? Yeah. Like, what if she makes a big decision and he's just like, I can't. I really can't with this man. I hate you. This little dude. I don't know you. I hate you. He doesn't seem like he's actually sorry about it. He apologized after Reddit people. Yes. He needed. He needed people from Reddit to be like, yeah, those actually look good. And him being like, oh, damn, I guess I need to apologize. People who you don't even know. That's the worst kind of apology. But it doesn't seem like he's apologizing because he feels sorry and, like, that he was wrong. He wants her back. He wants her to text him. He's just, I'm apologizing so that I'm smoothing things over. Which is so shitty. I feel so disappointed in people. Yeah. Because how are you like this? Like, why don't you want to be a better, kinder partner? They weren't given the tools. I feel like a lot of people were just, they weren't given the right tools in their toolkit to work through all of this stuff that is thrown at them. But I still think this little dude is a little fucking asshole. Yeah, for sure. Like, I don't, I don't, I don't appreciate this at all. Me neither. And I wish that she would leave him. Me too. Yeah. But I will say, the bride, still worse. Still bad. That was pretty rough. I'm sorry. Still worse. Yeah, pretty rough. These stories make me go, wow, I'm so glad we have each other. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I won't be making chocolates for you guys, but, like, I would love to. What the fuck? Honestly, could you imagine she's like, and this one is a white chocolate. It's a rose. And then this one is a star, but it looks like a starfish. And he's like, he's like, no, not to her. To the fucking chocolate. He just, like, throws the chocolate. Like, did he try it first? Did you microwave this chocolate? Did he try it first? Yeah. Was it not delicious? It's too bad Shaq's not gotten into cooking because he can make Shaquille O'Meals. Oh. How long were you thinking about that? All right. Since we were filming Smosh Mouth this morning. Wow. I was hoping Shaq would come up. I have, like, a list of puns. Wow. I'm just like, okay, in case Shaq gets brought up. I can't. Shaquille O'Meal. Here's what I learned from all these stories is have Olivia as your bodyguard. Holy shit. You will be fine. She'll take your stove and your shoes. A reminder never to piss off Olivia. No, never piss me off. Yeah, it's bad. No, it's true. Truly, I'm like, I'm so nice, but I can also be so mean. Yeah. Got you. No, you don't hold back. No, I love it. Anyways, thank you both for joining me today. Anytime. I feel really angry. I know. I know. I wish we had Oura rings. Oh, my God. What is that? Shane guesses. I'm angry. Shane guesses your Oura ring. What number is that? I could, yeah. It lists your stats and stuff, like your stress level, your whatever. That's cool. That's awesome. This isn't an ad read. It's definitely not. No. But anyways. Well, thanks, guys. Thank you. Bye. Bye. I don't want to leave. Okay. All right. Yeah, I don't want to leave either. Thanks for watching and we'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye. Bye.