A New Level Of Entitlement | Reading Reddit Stories

Hello and welcome to Smoshreads Reddit stories. I'm Shane and today's theme is entitled And I am joined by two of the most entitled people. I know Angela and Olivia Do you want a matcha or can I get two drinks? Yeah, because I can't decide if I want to do a cold beverage or you want hot and cold Hot and cold. Oh my fuck up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do that here. What are you thinking? Oh, just steamed milk? Oh, yeah Just a cup of will to get that for him a cup of steamed milk. I think you want to probably want to 16 ounce of steamed milk No, but for real do you want anything? We're gonna place the order and maybe it comes in time for the end of the episode Uh, I'll just get in a espresso You wanted us we can you just make that here. I know, but like there's yeah, okay. They do like a risotto style like Whoa, you can add a shot of maple pancake. Oh or cranberry Or cupcake wait, what the apple? What if we just added that into your I'm adding that to the cart What do you want seriously? Okay, seriously? I is this a tad entitled. It's a tad entitled Actually, do they just do like a straight up matcha like a hot matcha hot matcha? Well, yeah, like a matcha maricano Yeah, can I get a matcha maricano actually? Could you swap up to get rid of the present dude? Yeah, I got you That'll give me energy throughout the day. Yeah, a matcha hot maricano. You want some ice in it? Just hot You just want hot. Just how I'm going to give you organic ceremonial. We have to go quicker all right All right, you don't want any milk, right? No milk. No milk. Gosh, they don't have coconut milk. That's so great So we have some entitled story Ready. We're so ready. Hey, how do you feel do do entitled people piss you off? Yes, we live in LA Which kind of the hub? Yeah, I think entitlement's pretty like Pervasive like I think it's everywhere. Yeah, like I I I feel like everyone's always saying like oh this generation Entitled this generation's entitled this country's entitled these like this state isn't title I'm like I think it's kind of all over the list. I think it's all ages all cultures. Yeah, it's all over I can't speak for the whole world, but I do think America like we're such an individualistic country that it's kind of like Pushed on us culturally. Yeah, when you guys experience like entitlement amongst your friends. How do you guys react to that? That's tough. I think I think if it's someone I try I think I try to like gently be like well, you know, it's okay Like maybe we should yeah, you know everything's fine like I mean like devil's advocate here I would say you know like that's yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I try I try to check myself a lot like especially in places where I think people are very entitled Like airports restaurants and stuff. I try to like be like oh like I I understand that you know The waiter's going through a hard time or like oh the person behind the service desk is they're they're having a day like So I'm not thinking I'm deserving. Oh, my friends who are visiting here from Europe They were driving and they're like wow the fact that you know if I let someone go They don't wave thank you or any of that. They're just like shocked. They're like, you know in London People are like very polite or at least like gesture. Thank you not entitled to rush You know to get on the road or like that is true like when I have my blinker on and I get through and they let me in I I don't really unless it's like a really tight spot. I go. Thank you. Yeah You want to know what's funny? I'm a tell sometimes I get Matt more mad at polite drivers in LL Yeah, when when when you're trying to okay, you're trying to turn out into a road Yeah, and there's cars going by both ways and a car stops There's no stop sign. They stop and they go and I'm like fuck you. There's cars. There's cars in the other lane You're trying to get me T-bone like so they're being so nice I'm mad at them because I'm just like being at like if we all just drive as fast as we can I will find the opening myself. Let me do the work My friends were talking about there's no courtesy. There isn't but sometimes the problem is wouldn't in general There's no courtesy when someone's courteous. It disrupts the flow. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm like no We're all let's all be a discurdious so that one friend so like some friend groups will wait for everyone's food to get there And that one friend will be like oh wait, so you go fuck me. I'm gonna wait. We got to wait Well, you should all the way. Yeah, okay, speaking of way let's begin our first entitled story comes from am I the asshole? It was posted in April of 2026 They write am I the asshole for refusing to give a micro influencer free coffee upgrades after she tried to get me fired I A 22-year-old woman work as a barista at a small local coffee shop We have this regular Megan late 20s who has like 15,000 Instagram followers How much how much 15,000? Okay, comey. She comes in almost every day orders this super complicated latte then asks for extra syrup Oak milk and whipped cream for free because she promotes the shop on her stories My boss has no formal deal with her so technically it's against policy I've let it slide a few times when it was slow, but last Saturday we were slammed line out the door two call-outs And I was solo on bar Megan orders. I ring her up normally 675 and she goes just add the oatmeal can vanilla for free like usual I told her I couldn't today because my manager was watching the cameras true and I'd already been warned about giving freebies She got really snotty and said fine I'll just take my business elsewhere then pulled out her phone and took a photo of me mid-reach for a cup Before I can even say anything she posted on her story shop name has the worst service recently named my name was so rude for no reason don't go here Within a few hours her followers left three one-star Yelp reviews specifically naming me and two people came into the shop demanding discounts because according to them They saw what I did my boss reviewed the security footage laughed and told me I did nothing wrong But now a couple of my co-workers say I should have just given her the 150 upgrade to avoid the drama and the bad Press the owner is staying out of it, but Megan keeps commenting on our Instagram posts with remember when your staff harassed me I feel like I was just doing my job and forcing a policy she knew about but the shop lost a few Regulars who saw her story so maybe I should have just let it go. Am I the asshole? No, you're not the asshole. What's Megan's handle on Instagram? Oh my god Let's go put one stars in her comments. Yeah, yeah Let's get her canceled I I wonder how often just regular businesses are dealing with I mean there's just so many back in the day right to eat the guy the biggest antagonist is that food food reviewer And now it's influencers. Okay. I can't just say something Hey, but it sucks. It sucks. I'm sorry. Okay, and I might You know how fucking lucky we are to be influencers like Our job is not hard like at all and You get to go and get coffee and you fucking put cupcake syrup and you're coffee like I got maple pancake Like you are so privileged and entitled and like what are you doing get a fucking life? Get her get you know killer We know back in the day. We get up get our best coffee beans I gotta go and get the fucking plan and you don't get it. Yeah, you know, so you are a little bitch It is very funny like I'm sorry. It is very funny being in the category of influencer But when I'm online and I see like influencers getting trashed and like made fun of home like fuck yeah Fucking get him. Yeah, cuz I think the majority of the influencer culture is just absolutely horrible for everything It is sad because like we've kind of lost the like the critic like that used to be a like professions Yeah, right? And now we just have like some some dude who's like yeah, I review movies. It's like what are your credit? Like oh, you're just a guy And I'm like a follower account does not equate to any sort of expertise I went to Sundance this past year and my friend's partner was reviewing movies for an indie publication online And they would have to like immediately get home and write because the the uh the letterbox reviews Come in so fast and people like it's just like a whole different thing that you don't really need a degree to rate something And it'd be loudly hurt Literally and there is there's value to like mass like check like yelp reviews right or just be like what's the regular person But I think there is also like who who is this person right who is this Megan Just because she has 15,000 followers doesn't mean she understands coffee better than anybody else Also like I have a lot of friends that work in the restaurant industry and yelp For all businesses is a it's math. It's like our um IMDB. It's like But it is like people get caddy and then people name names Yeah, and then there's fake yelp and then people some restaurants buy yelp reviews that are bots And it's it is so crazy every time I go to a restaurant and this maybe just shows I don't think of myself as an influencer because if I love it I go on the yelp Because I don't post on my Instagram story because I'm not going to get all these Oh you look at the restaurant. Are you right review? I will if I really like they are so grateful when you give them five stars on yelp or anything like that Because it is like linked in for small businesses and they really use it And it is sad when you it is funny like I'll check yelp reviews and you can tell when it's like I think I'm pretty good at assessing out when I'm like oh this person isn't really reviewing Because they didn't like this person's being an asshole Yeah, and they're being entitled because that yeah, they thought names. Yeah, the way they're complaining is like confusing You can tell like real critique I feel like it's also really messed up that this person um took a pic -Oh, dude. -That's, like-- -What an asshole. -That's in the whole-- -A button. -I know I just yelled at you, Megan, but I do think that there is-- If you do watch this, you can learn and grow from it. -You can grow. -People can hear you're coming down. You're like, "I'm so sorry." -Look, I'm sorry. -And, you know, let's get a couple coffee. -Maybe if enough people are like-- 'cause this isn't like a major, like you're not like a bad person, I don't know. But it's not like, maybe enough people would be like, "Hey, like, that wasn't cool, and she'll learn from this experience, yeah." -I am blown away, and I've heard of it many times in our industry of people expecting free shit. I'm just like, "What the fuck did she say?" -I don't get that. -I don't get it at all, either. It's also like, "Hey, your entire platform is built on coffee, and yet you are not trying to support the coffee business that gives you your business." -Yeah. -I'm like, "I don't know. It's so shitty." Vertic, there's no official one as of yet, but it's leaning towards not the asshole -I think Olivia gave me an official. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't see how the barista could possibly be the asshole here -No way. -For doing business as usual. Comments, not the asshole. Comment back saying, "Remember when you were too cheap to spend $1.50 to pay for your order? I would expect an influencer to be classier." Someone said, "Your boss needs to get a backbone and post the security footage on the company's page to defend his employee and his business, not the asshole." -Yep. -And someone said, "You never should have been doing that without permission from your boss in the first place." Also, this whole situation would have been avoided if you had not taken it upon yourself to decide if it was ever okay in the first place. I don't know. Like, I also think barista's constantly like, if you have a regular, you might like toss him something, but like, no, the barista was being a normal barista. -Yes. -And they were doing their job and being a cool person and this person's an asshole. -Yep. -A great, very much asshole. -Yeah. I also, it sucks too when someone is a regular, we're taking the influencer out of it, but like being a regular is somewhere to a point where you might get free stuff sometimes, but that doesn't mean you should start expecting that. -That's the actual point. -Oh, we have a cool rapport. Like, sometimes it might happen that's a treat, but never expecting it. -Especially, especially at small places like coffee shops. -Oh, yeah. -What do you mean? -Also, I mean, this has come from a place of privilege, but I'm gotten to the point where like, if there is a small business that I love, I'm like, oh, shit, I'm so. Like, I want to go there to give business and keep this thing afloat when there's so many monopolies and so many big fucking businesses traveling home. -And it's true about managers. He said the, oh, piece of the manager was like watching on the camera. Funny little side story. -His whole security footage, he's just like. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Don't worry, I'm on it. -That was a shot of cupcake. -She's entitled, don't worry about it. -Yeah, don't worry. -And. -What do you mean, what's up? -They're in like a trailer in the corner of. And we're patched in. -Well, funny story that happened this weekend. I had maybe two Martinez, maybe two many. And remember, I was obsessed with our waiter. And I was just like, you're amazing. And I went like, I want to tell your manager. And then the manager came up being like, hey, is everything. And it looked like I was like, can I speak to the manager? -Oh! -And then he goes, like, he's great. -And I went, oh, I didn't mean to, like, some of you. I just want to say that Dylan is fucking crushing it tonight. -Well, where was this? -Some restaurant. -Yeah. -But I felt like we went after Reddit Live. Go see it on tour. We did this live, and then we got food after. And then I just was like, oh, this waiter is killing it. -He's crushing. -No, it's like when the food is really good. You're like, can I talk to the chef? -Yeah, they come out and they're like, yeah. -And you're like, no! -I don't know. -I don't know. -You're so weird. -Martini's switching around. -I was going to say he's great. -This is the best one. -Okay, when I worked at Courage Bagels, I really got a glimpse of how entitled people can be over bagels in the morning. And you're like, hey, just bagels. Not that big of a deal. -Yeah. -And I remember people just show up feeling, like, expecting that I knew there's thousands of orders that I knew which order they had and snatched it out of my hands. And I'm like, that's crazy. Why are we-- -I think people do not-- They're like, I'm up so early in the morning, and they're not comprehending that the worker that they're interfacing with is also up at the same time of day. -Yeah, that's true. -I think about that whenever I get up early, like, to go to the gym and, like, the person behind the gym counter, I'm like, what time did you get here? -Exactly. -I'm like, Jesus Christ. -I know. My mom was so sweet yesterday. She was like, she called me after work and because my mom is doing stuff here too, like videos and stuff. And then she was like, wow, she's like, you guys wake up so early, but she's like, but think about the crew members. They probably woke up so much earlier than you. And then they had to, like, rap lay. And she was like-- -This entire crew around here is like, yeah. -No. -Why don't you fucking think about that? -My mom was-- My mom was fully advocating for you guys. -I was in her room. -Mm-hmm. -No, Christine was like, they woke up so early because when I woke up, they were already there and they were so nice to me. -You look over see a crew member handing your mom a $20 bid away. [ Laughter ] -I'm just saying that. -I feel that way about when, like, if Amanda or Chance gets in, they're called times an hour later for another video. I'm like, yeah, we've been here since dawn. [ Laughter ] Nice to see you to join us. You do it at 4.5? -Yeah. We've been re-read it since 6 a.m. -Like, they're the reinforcements in World War II. And we're like, we've been here. -Yeah. -We've been here on the front line. -I've been here for a long time. [ Laughter ] -You don't know what we've been through. We must move on. -Yes. -Our next story comes from "Am I the Asshole?" "Am I the Asshole" for feeling offended when a girl covered her drink while I was talking to her? [ Laughter ] -Oh, my God. -Dude. Oh, my God. -Oh, my God. -Oh, my God. -Okay. I'm not the most social person, neither am I the nicest guy, either, but I've been trying to get better at talking to people instead of just sticking with those close to me. There was a cute girl standing by herself for a bit, so I went up, said, "Hey, introduce myself, just normal conversation stuff." Not long after I started talking, she took out one of those drink covers, the ones with a little hole for a straw and put it on her cup. She didn't say anything, but it felt pointed, I guess? Like, I know that whole thing is about people being careful with their drinks, but the timing made it feel like it was because of me. It kind of threw me off, so I didn't stay long. I just ended the convo after a minute and went to talk to someone else. I assumed she wasn't really comfortable and I didn't want to make it awkward. Later, she came up to me and asked why I just dipped like that. I said I didn't think she wanted to talk, especially after she covered her drink right when I walked up. She got kind of annoyed and said it wasn't about me and that I made it weird by leaving. That's the part that's confusing me. If it wasn't about me, fine, but at the same time, it felt like a pretty clear signal in a slap to the face, so I backed off. Now, I feel like it was a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. Am I the asshole? Edit. A lot of people are focusing on me saying I was offended or that it felt like a slap to the face. That was poor wording on my part. I wasn't upset at her for protecting herself. It was more that I felt awkward and like I might have made her uncomfortable, so I took it as a cue to back off. I understand why women take those precautions and I'm not judging her for it. This is to avoid having to make the same clarification over and over in the comments. Okay. Uh, all right. Did he, like, approach her like this? Well, hello, my lady. I have a little pill. He goes, he goes, he goes, one blue one, one red one. Hey! He walked up like Morpheus and he was just like, "Oh, yes." Okay, my take is like, I'm like, yeah, she probably, she might have covered her drink because you're a guy at a bar. That's the unfortunate reality. I'm like, you're a stranger. She doesn't know who you are. You can't, like, you wrote offended and you wrote slap in the face. So if you're wording it poorly, I think you ordered it how you fell and it's, you felt that way. Yeah, you're a lot better. But you have to understand she doesn't know you. Yeah. Like, this isn't a personal attack because she doesn't know you. If I, if, my advice to any person at a bar by themselves is, yeah, probably cover your drink no matter who you're talking to. Like, I hear these stories all the time. Yes, yes. And then he clearly, like, I don't know, he dipped. It's like, oh, I'm making you uncomfortable. I'm like, either way, it's just like, I think this is a very normal response. And also, that sounds like a cool thing to have. A cover for a drink, like, drink spill. Maybe she just, maybe she does that. Yeah, I don't know. That's about for a second when you were reading it. I was like, was he spitting? That's what I was thinking. And she was like, whoa, let me get an umbrella over here. You know what I think? He's a Pisces, Pisces, man. O.P., are you Pisces? Are you Pisces? He's pisses? He's pisses. Also, she's talking to him. Maybe she's engaged in the conversation. That also means, like, he may not be doing him as a threat. But if you have a drink at a bar, anyone walking by could be the threat. So covering it so that she can really focus and talk to him. So, I mean, to me, this is like kind of reminding me of the early mask back and forth. It's like people's safety is not about you. - Yeah, it is. - But it is, I understand this what happened with the masks too, is people would take it very personally when people are worried about germs. And I think especially women in bars have very specific fears and triggers. And I think those triggers, that person's allowed to do whatever they want. I don't think it's about you. - Not about you. - Yeah, man. - I get it. I kind of get being like a little insecure. If someone did that, I'd be like, oh, is it about me? But then I would kind of just kind of, I don't know, I get making it about you for a second, but then to double down, I don't know. - I also just think that if you're a man, you should be more aware of the space that you take in the world. Like, at a bar, and a girl's alone. Yeah, like, you should be more aware that it's okay, whatever she does, she's just like protecting herself. I mean, there's been a history of her getting taken advantage of. So just be aware that you're a guy. And-- - Yeah, I feel this way a lot about when I am walking, and there's a man, I'm walking by myself, and there's somebody behind me. - Yes. - I, like, and it has nothing to do with that person. And I feel always bad, like, it looks like, but I will stop and let that person go. Because I, especially if it's late, and I know I'm by myself, walking to my car, I, like, cannot have that. So I just, like, you know what? I'd rather be safe and be visible on all sides and just let this person go. But if that person was like, she hates my vibe. - You know, I'd be like, no, I just, I don't think you're gonna fucking jump me and grab all my shit, but I have to prepare for it. - Well, you know, I brought this up a couple months ago, and Ian, and I think, was a chance, or someone had a, or maybe it was you that had a really great perspective on this, where it's like, if I'm walking behind a woman, I always cross the street. So they don't feel like I'm going to do something. - I really can't do it when they're really close behind me. I, like, no matter what. I'm like, you, you cannot be that close behind me. It freaks me out. And it's like, this person might have been freaked out. What I love about the story is she approached OP. And she was like-- - Or he approached her, and then later on, she approached them. - No, that's what I'm saying, she approached him being like, was something, did I do something wrong? - Yeah. - And having that dialogue to be like, "Oh, like, I thought you hated me because you did this." And she's like, "That has nothing to do." - Yeah. - Yeah. And he didn't even, let's see, I said, I didn't think she wanted to talk, especially after she covered her drink right when I walked up. She got kind of annoyed and said it wasn't about me, and then I made it weird by leaving. Yeah, I think he's talking about damned if you do damned if you don't. It's like, the reality is so many men have done so much horrible shit that yes, women have no choice but to be on guard. How many true crime stories start with? This guy approached this woman at a bar, and it's like, that's the scary reality. So I think you have to understand that. And then I think the best that you can do is if someone communicates that they don't want to talk to you. If they are clearly communicating that, you just start like, "Okay, I understand, whatever." But he's making that choice on her behalf. - I also think it's really tricky when you add meaning to people you don't know's actions. - Yeah. - Straight, you just met them. - You're like, "Don't know." - You do not know. - They might just be like, they might be a bit of a germaphobe. Like, who fucking knows, man? Don't jump into that. That's something she already has. She carries on her, you know? It's like-- - That's a very specific-- - Yeah. - Yeah, and you don't know her, so. - Yeah. The verdict is asshole. - Yeah. - Comments, you're the asshole. Women need to cover their drinks now because the good guys and the bad guys, one, all look alike, and two, the good guys don't stop their co-workers or friends. They laugh at awful jokes instead of saying, "That's not cool. They don't turn each other in." And someone responded at saying, "And those people who seem like nice and good guys "can end up doing absolutely horrible things to you." Saying this as a woman who learned her lesson with those types of guys. Someone said, "You're the asshole. "She doesn't know anything about you. "Good on her for having the confidence to take the precaution. "Your reaction is a huge red flag." - Yeah. - Someone said, "You're the asshole." And that's a huge red flag. She wasn't just covering it from you. She was covering it in case someone snuck up. While she was distracted by speaking with you, you know you wouldn't do something sinister, but she does not know that you wouldn't. And the fact that you feel offended by a girl protecting themselves from potentially predatory behavior is unsettling. - Yep. - Lastly said, "I am a woman, but I felt similarly slighted "when an elderly lady was struggling "to get the hood of her car open. "When I approached to offer to help, "she got in her car and locked it." Then I realized that lady doesn't know me or what kind of person I am. Better safe than sorry, best for us not to take it personally. - Yes. - Yeah. Absolutely. - I totally agree with the second story too, with the second comment. - Yeah. - It is a huge red flag because it's like, okay, do you not understand the setting, the situation, the culture, what's going on now? - I mean, that's the mask stuff. People were like, well, you don't feel comfortable in my house. We're family. - Yeah. - And you're like, no, this is a little bit bigger than that. - Yeah. It's a little scary that in 2026, this guy doesn't understand why women are wary of men. I'm just like, in a bar in a public setting. - That's such a good point. - I'm just like, why is she being weird? - Yeah. - Yeah. - I feel awkward because you did that. Well, you know what I mean. - It's like, it's actually feel awkward, man. He's like, I feel awkward, shut the hell up. - You get in the car with him, you put your seatbelt on, he goes, what? (laughing) - Oh, like I'm not a good driver. So suddenly, you don't feel shit. - For realty? (laughing) - That got some amazing. (laughing) - That's fucking good. - That's so good. - That's so good, Ann. - All right, our next story. Our next story comes from, am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for expecting the gifts to be for both of us? Okay. - Oh god. - At the baby shower? (laughing) I'm worried. - I've recently gotten engaged and have been with my partner for five years. Her family threw us an engagement party this weekend, and when we got home and opened some of the cards, there was money in most of them. I mentioned it was generous of her family to give us so much, and my girlfriend mentioned it was her money. I pointed out it's both of our names on the cards, and the money should be going towards the wedding or things for both of us. She mentioned that it was her family that gave it to us so the money is hers. But I disagreed. I said the engagement party was for both of us as are the cards and any gifts we received. I pointed out it's selfish of her to expect everything to just be for her. She said I was trying to take advantage of her family's generosity, but I pointed out that it's exactly what she's doing by keeping everything for herself. She just repeated the gifts from her family so they should be for her. - I love the entitled stuff. This is juicy. - Ah, that sounds like you shouldn't get married. (laughing) - There are so many people out there just like don't get married. Like don't get married. Don't have a wife, don't have a husband or not. - That's just it. - Like no, seriously, these are things that, you know, they're like little things, but then they're actually big things. And it comes out in different forms later on in your marriage. And then you know what, you're like too late, and then you sleep in separate beds. - I wanna know. - And you're doing crazy shit on the side. - I wanna see, what does it say on the envelope, OP? I bet on that envelope, it does not say to just her. That's crazy. - He said, no, he says, he says that it was addressed to both of them. - Okay, then end of discussion. - Yeah. - For both of them, but also you're being insane. (laughing) - No, the problem is like, if you are going into marriage and you have very different views on finances, get the fuck out. - Yeah. - Get the fuck out. Any sort of agreement, any sort of situation is fine, as long as you're both down with it and you've communicated it. This is the top three things that you communicate before you get married. - Wait, wait, wait. How do you bring that up before a marriage? How do you talk about finances? - I think you truly say it as blatantly as just like- - Like, are we 50 or are we? - Just like, how do we want to organize our finances? - Yeah. - How do we feel about this? - Yeah. I don't think there's any sort of like intricate way of like, you say it as plainly as possible. And I think that's the case with everything, right? It's like, what are our boundaries on this? What do we, how do we feel about this and stuff? Like, I know it gets brought up a lot on the show, but I'm like, when couples are together for years and then like a big thing is not talked about, I'm like, it's, you can't wait for these things to just organically come up sometimes. - Yeah, absolutely. - You know, it's like, you have to make the choice to be like, let's talk about- - Yeah, yes. - And I feel that there are ways you start to like, notice each other and how you handle money and fairness. And in terms of like, oh, if he's gonna pay the bill every time and I, if she ever gonna want, or like, and everyone has a different opinion on that. But to me, the biggest red flag here is thinking that the beginning of this chapter is not about them 50/50. - Yeah. - Like, an engagement party I guess is different than a wedding, but this is honoring the promise they are making to each other. Like, that is not an individual party. Like, I don't know where that is. - This is an a birthday party. This is a- - Exactly. - Like, if this is the beginning of like a season in which you're celebrating each other and you're making this about you, it's already. - It's not good. - Yeah, it's definitely, it does not bode well. And it doesn't sound like they have mutual respect for each other 'cause it's like, you would think, getting into a marriage is like, oh my God, I want this for both of us. - Yes. we can both. And also, you're coming into a wedding, that's going to be the most, it's probably going to be super expensive. It's like, yeah, you probably are going to have to use that money towards it. Or whatever big choices you're making beginning in your wedding into your marriage. If you're still in this place of like, no, this is mine. Yeah. It's like, it doesn't sound like you're ready to be married. No. It sounds like you're still kind of like an individual, like, you still should be an individual in a marriage, but it sounds like you're still thinking like yourself. And that doesn't work with it when you're married. No. I just think it's important to have agreements, right? If I met a married couple and they're like, yeah, our agreement is that whenever we get gifts and it's from, if it's gifts from her family, that's her money. I would go. From my family, it's my money. I'm like, you both are cool with that. Literally. Then that's your agreement. I go, that's a weird ass agreement. I'm glad you guys talked about it. I think you both are weird as fuck. But honestly, the best part about that is? I'm gonna cover up my drink. I'm like, I think you guys are weird. I don't feel safer here. Like, I think that if it's a birthday or like something where it's just you and your family's giving you money. No, yeah. You can keep that. But then if it's like a two people thing. I completely agree with that. That is my logic, right? 100,000 percent. I think this, her logic is odd to me. I'm just saying like in the spirit of how I've used like, in a marriage, you just need to agree on it. But they have completely different agreements on it. Do I think her logic is sound no? I disagree with that. I've never viewed it that way. We also, like, her parents gave only her money. Like, the parents. They gave it to both of them. Yeah. It was addressed to both of them. She's just now after the fact being like, no, this is my money. That's so weird. It feels pretty explicit. Like, if a gift is for someone in particular, you write their name on it or you write two names if it's for two people. And I'm like, oh, are you taking the whole thing? Because I'm your family. Then I'll split it down the middle and give the other half to Joe the Schmal. No, this is one of those stories where I'm like, I feel like I would be curious about more details about this person because she sounds selfish as hell. I'm sure there are more aspects to this. We don't have an update, but it feels like one of those where it's like, okay, update. Yeah, she, uh, she's fully awful. And we're not getting married. Update, she's been stealing from me. Update, she shot me with a gun once. Update from the hospital, I'm in the ICU. Yeah, so she tried to kill me again. Vertic, just not the asshole. Comments, time to cancel the engagement. Someone said, not the asshole, but please don't get married or even plan your wedding yet. You need to resolve your financial differences. In fact, I'd actually consider breaking off the engagement altogether. Any money my husband or I get, his bonus from work, a check made out to us, uh, to one of us, whatever is all ours. For us, there is no his versus hers. Someone said, not the asshole, but you were indeed given a gift that night. The gift of seeing your fiance's true character before you are legally bound to her. She is selfish and greedy. Save yourself and do not walk down the aisle unless you want a lifetime of this. Someone replied to that saying, not the asshole. So many idiots in here saying to run for the hills, they don't know shit about you other than this small snapshot. Listen, it is a red flag, but look back and see if there are any others you can identify before now. You at the very least need to have a serious sit-down conversation with this woman before tying the knot. Good luck. That is true. We have this one snapshot. We, you know, only he, O.P. can really make the call if he feels this is good or not. But I think it is the biggest red flag that you're engaged and you have a massive disagreement on finances. That is a lot. I think it makes me question whether they've communicated about every other category. Yeah. This is a really good question for you guys. Yeah. Because this person commented on it where let's say you're in a marriage partnership and one person gets a bonus from work. Do you pocket that yourself or do you put it in the joint family fun? It ends on your whole love thing. Once again, that's an agreement thing. I think if they talk to a counselor, a couple's therapist or they, I don't know, or just talked it out just the two of them, they could come up with what they are both comfortable with. I do think they need to be very communicative. Yeah. Like of what the numbers are. I do think to a degree, it's like it is all, like you're married, it is all technically both of your money, but who is technically in charge of what pockets that could be different. I think it could be different. Yeah. Completely unique to each couple, but it needs to be fully agreed upon. Yeah. Exactly. It needs to be only black and white answer to that is that you can't assume. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. And that you should just be communicating. Absolutely. But besides that, it depends, I feel. Yeah. Because we've talked about this before about financial, like basically financial infidelity. Yeah. Of like, it's like, oh, if you're in a marriage, if you heard about a couple, and it's like, oh, this one couple won a lottery and they won $100,000 and they didn't tell their partner about it. It's like, is that like a form of cheating? And I'd be like, yeah, that's a massive secret. That's fucked up. That's a rift in trust. Totally. We had the story not too long ago where a guy quit his job to start twitch streaming, didn't tell his wife that he quit his job was pretending. And I'm like, that to me is like, that's financial infidelity, where it's like, massive changes to your finances. It is ultimately joint finances. It affects one another. So I think it's huge. I totally agree. So I agree with the last comment that it's like, you can't just hear a Reddit comment and go, okay, well, I'm going to cut off this engagement. But I do think it requires further-- Talked about-- It's a massive red flag. I also think that having the difficult conversations before the marriage sort of like preps you for all the other difficult conversations. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Especially sometimes it's not even about the subject. It's about, can we have a difficult conversation? Yes, yes. And how do we navigate a difficult conversation? Like going up to people like, or OP going up to the person being like, so what do you expect when we get wedding gifts? Just curious. And then just seeing and just seeing what that dialogue is. I think that yeah, what's also a red flag to me is her response where it's like, I think in a partnership, if you're not trying to understand your partner and wanting to like find that middle ground and instead just win. Yeah. I'm like, that bodes so bad. Totally. I agree. Our next story comes from the subred relationships. And this was posted back in 2014. Vintage. They write, both me, a 33-year-old woman and my fiance, a 33-year-old man, of five years have almost identical last names. But he is insisting that I change my last name after marriage. This argument is making me consider canceling the wedding. My fiance and I have been together for five years engaged for six months. We recently started designing our Save the Dates and had a huge argument over me not changing my last name. We both have extremely generic last names. A good example of what I'm talking about is Schultz versus Schultz. Schultz, S-H-U-L-T-Z versus Schultz, S-C-H-U-L-T. So they might just be like one letter off in the last. It is the difference of a single silent letter. I explain to my fiance that I do not want to change my last name because I am a journalist and all of my work is tied to my current name. If I were to change my name, it would mess up my future career opportunities. Plus, my name is the traditional spelling while my fiance's is the Americanized spelling. My fiance has told me that he could not fathom having a wife with a different last name. But his only explanation was that it bothered him. He said that it wasn't about tradition, but it just felt wrong to him. It's not about tradition. It's about my ego. I mean, it feels wrong to me. I already offered that our children would have his last name, but we're at an impasse. It just feels like he doesn't care about how this will impact my career, or even that we already share the same last name. The argument was such a huge blow-up that I don't want to get married if it means having to give into what feels like an unreasonable demand. On top of everything, changing my name would be a huge pain in the butt. As I would have to probably do everything over and over again because companies are assuming my last name is misspelled. Yes. Instead of seeing it as my new married name. Yes. Oh, man. So right off the bat, what is the massive. I mean, silent letter. Silent letter. That's where I started having a stronger big end. Yeah, that's where I began. No, I wouldn't care if their names were massively different. When you said Schultz and Schultz? Yeah, I mean, oh, that's different. Schultz and Schultz. I frankly don't. Schultz and Schultz. Maybe. I know that Schultz and Schultz. Call Schultz and Schultz today. Have you been injured? I wouldn't give a shade if the names were super different. Like, I don't like that he's. they're talking and she's going, "I'm uncomfortable changing my name." He goes, "Well, I'm uncomfortable with you not changing your name." And he's completely putting his emotion. Like, he's like, "Well, I feel uncomfortable and that should take precedence over you." And that should trump you. And you're discomfort. Plus all the hassle you're going to have to be changing your name. I didn't think about this because I've never been married, but like, it's crazy that the woman has to do all the, like, document work, the DMV shit, the, like, check shit, all of that, and that the guy just is like, "Yeah, yeah." My name now. Like. No, it's a ton of shit. Like, unless your last name is Obama, I am not changing my last name. Olivia Obama. Are you injured? Olivia Obama. This is, this is wild for a lot of reasons. Like you said, Shane, the biggest red flag is someone thinking that one person's discomfort trumps the other. >> Yes. >> He's saying it just felt wrong to him. There's no reason. >> No reason. >> He has no reason on paper. It's not a tradition even, it just feels wrong. I'm like. >> That's not good enough. >> I was like, you just want to control her. >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> And it's all on her to then have to decide what she wants to do. Why is it always being put onto her? How about you learn how you are making her feel uncomfortable and she has to make this big freaking decision. And she's sort of a visible name where she's a journalist. >> She's a journalist. >> Yeah. Yeah, there's a brand attached to it. >> Like if Olivia was Olivia Obama, you wouldn't know that's Olivia of Obama from small. She wouldn't. You wouldn't. >> You ruined all of your body of work. I wouldn't be getting any brand deals, cuz I know who's that, that's a bot. Yeah. Exactly. >> Oh. >> It could also be Olivia Sway Obama. >> Yeah. >> Olivia Sway Obama. >> Sway dash Obama. >> I feel like this falls into the category too of like what I've said a million times of just like disrespect is so, it's tough. >> Well in his mind, he's like she's disrespecting me. Do you know what I'm like? >> Yeah, but it's her boundary. Like this is her last name. And he's like if you don't change a huge aspect of your identity, that's you're making me. And that, to me, is one of those red flags where I'm like if that bleeds over into other categories, this is not- >> Yeah, it's not a sustainable relationship. >> Yeah. >> And you gotta give it up to life for giving you these little things, right? That are just so small but massive like, hey, look, you know what I mean? >> You have the feeling and it's like, oh shit, now it comes to the forefront. >> I was in a relationship where my partner wanted my last name and was like, I think your last name is really cool and I want your last name instead. >> That's weird. >> That is really sweet. >> Obama's a sweet guy. >> Yeah, Obama's a sweet guy, what can I say? >> Baroque's way. >> Baroque's way. >> And Olivia Obama. >> You know, thinking of the comment from earlier, like I do think like I don't know this person. This isn't, do I have enough here to say like don't get married? But what is telling me a lot is that she is already feeling like I want to call off the engagement. You're about to, if you're about to get married and you are saying I'm feeling like I want to call this off. I'm like that might be a better reason than anything on paper. It makes, it also tells me that I'm like, is this is one example that you're giving us, but is this telling, is there more? >> That's what I'm saying. It's like, it's like a little life being like a little bit like thing. >> Totally. >> Yeah, it's a little foreshadowing. >> Or, whoa, life's a move. >> Or maybe not, just foreshadowing, maybe it's like, this is the one that she really clocked and can put on paper, but maybe it's been happening a lot, but she's not registered. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Comments, if he insists that it isn't tradition, but just that it feels wrong to have different names, he could take yours, right? Especially if he isn't in a career that depends on older work, did you two discuss that option? >> Mm-hm. >> Oh, he responds, it was something that I brought up and he is adamantly opposed. And ironically, it is for the same reasons. He does not want the work he's published to not be tied to him if he changed his last name. >> It's a silent letter. >> Someone said that kind of tells you all you need to know about his reasonableness, doesn't it? What else is he going to refuse to compromise on in the marriage? >> Yeah. >> Oh, he said, out of the five years we've been together, this is the only thing we have ever not been able to work past. He is reasonable on everything except this, and he's said that he feels horrible about it, but he doesn't think he could marry someone without her taking his last name. >> Okay, can I say something about that? I think in different cultures, sometimes this means a lot to people. >> Sure. >> Like, I had a family member get married, and it was similar like this where it was like, this person had no red flags, but that thing, that last name part, meant a lot to him and his family. >> Sure. >> So I do want to give space for that, but it's still what's the red flag part is not wanting to have an open dialogue and talk about it, because that's what this family member did. It was like, he was like, I'm very, this is a cultural thing for us. And I want to pass my father's name down, and I'm the only son, and then they talked about it. >> Right. Couple details. They've agreed that their children will have his last name. He's also being forthright and saying, it's not tradition. I just don't feel. So like. >> Okay. >> If he was like, oh, this is a big cultural thing, my family's putting all these pressure on me. He said it's not tradition. It's just it doesn't feel right. And then they've agreed that their children will have his last name, so he will be passing on his last name. >> So then it's just, it's just literally, it's just literally like, I want you to have the last name. >> Yeah. >> Well, look at that. >> That is the, she's already agreed on so many things. Last comment, I see your point, but at one point you call your last name generic. Do you really want to take the argument to the heights? It's going over something you find generic. And if you're in a fight that has blown up to these proportions to where you think you may not even marry the guy if he doesn't concede, then you don't need to get married. When something really big comes up, will that be your solution/trained of thought also? Oh, he says it is generic, but my last name is the traditional spelling. If asked to spell either one of our names after hearing it, 99 out of 100 people would spell it the way my last name is spelled, not the way his is spelled. Imagine Michaels with a M-I-C-H-A-E-L-S versus Michael, M-I-C-H-A-L-S or Green spelled G-R-E-E-N versus Green G-R-E-N-E. This is the only major disagreement we have ever had. Things got a bit heated, but it was never to the point of yelling. We each just set our side, couldn't agree, and then went to bed. I mean, go if you're good. If he's saying, I can't marry you if you don't do this, it's just like, I don't know what to say. You guys are both kind of saying the thing, then. Then maybe we don't get married because you guys both can't. If you can't get past that, compromise. That's, um. And now in a post-paper world, go with me on this. All you got to do is change your, if it's really about your comfort. If I changed my last name to what you want, to your last name in your phone. But then government-wise, like, my journalism work, like, is this just how you feel? I know. That's what's weird about it. It's like, you can- Where are they going to see your name right now? It's going to be clear. She's saying that their names are said allowed the same way. Yeah. That's what I'm saying is, like, when are you going to see, besides like Instagram and your phone, when are you going to see your name written out where you go? I don't feel like you belong with me. Yeah. Or to me. This feels very symbolic to him in a way that I'm having trouble with it. But luckily for us, we have an update. Yes! Yes! Thank God! Do you think they're together? So it's two days later. I am going to believe that they're together. He- I'm going to believe that our coffee's close and that they're together. Okay. All right. And that he was like, "You're right, baby. You're right, baby. Let me go wash your car." Yeah. I first posted on Wednesday while waiting to leave work. It gave me a lot to think about so I decided to drop the conversation until after Christmas to think about everything and also to not cause more unneeded stress at the holidays. A lot of people suggested that I take my husband's last name and keep my maiden name for professional use. And I have one thing to say to you all. I have had my name for 33 years so far and suggesting that I do the one thing I don't want to do, which has changed my name in any form, is just really short-sighted. With the difference of one letter, no one would assume my name is different because I'm married. I've had a typo since a letter was deleted, which is far more of a nightmare than changing my name to something completely different. Moving on now, as I said in one of my comments, I had already spoken to my fiance's parents about it before I posted. They had heard our argument. We live in the same house. No, it's not weird because the house is huge. And my fiance's dad had agreed with me. His wife, my fiance's mom, had kept her maiden name and it wasn't an issue at all. So we know for sure there's no culture, this is fully that his mom kept her maiden name. For sure. My father-in-law had a talk with my fiance on Christmas before I had woken up. I don't know what all the details were, but the short of it was that their family name had been sholts for hundreds of years before it was changed to sholts with minus a letter. And that my fiance was technically going against centuries of family history by insisting that I change my name, and that he would actually be honoring the family by bringing back the traditional name. So taking her name would actually be the-- Nice! More-- I love this idea so far. After I woke up, my fiance asked if I would talk with him. I agreed and he and I had a long discussion about the whole thing. The talk with his dad about why it bothered him, et cetera. My fiance told me that he loved me regardless of everything and that it just hadn't occurred to him that he was demanding that I change a fundamental part of me. He also added that my stubbornness about the issue is part of why he likes me, because I'm not the type of woman to roll over. In the end, my fiance and I agreed that he would keep his name, I would keep my name, and our children will be named sholts, but that they can choose whatever they like once they turn 18. Great. Happy ending. She writes. I'm happy. Happy ending, smiley face. I'm happy. We never get an update that feels kind of good, but he had to be like, "I love that you're so fucking stubborn." Yeah. Who's the stubborn one, silent sholts? As if he wasn't stubborn, too. It's like, you guys came in an impasse and you're saying, "I love that you wouldn't just listen to me and shut up." What do you mean, a lot about you? - It does, I do hate the internal feeling after reading so many Reddit stories, my internal voice is like, I don't believe it, like, I'm like, no, things can be good sometime. - I know, and it's also, it's like a man had to be like, "Hey, it's actually fun." - Yeah, I know. - Yeah, I talked to my dad and now it's good. - It's okay, whatever. - I don't love that it took other people to convince him, yeah, I don't like it. - Can we just, and can we just agree that men are just so exhausting? Like, none of this should we agree, that men? - On that, now we're waking up before Christmas and we're having these talks. - Oh, this, this one. - I think I would have felt better if he took her name, and I know he has his right to keep his name, but after the dad was like, no, actually, you'll be fulfilling the family legacy by taking her name. - He's like, whoa, slow down. I'm not gonna go that far. - He goes, all, all, all, respect her dad, but I won't change mine. - Okay, I'm gonna respect her boundaries, but let's not, let's not go into that business. - Let's not sacrifice. (laughing) Let's not do what you're about to do for marriage. - Yeah. - Make sacrifices together. Yeah, I'm happy, I'm not elated, but I'm happy. - Yeah, I'm, you know. - It was 12 years ago, and we have no more updates, but it's just like, I wonder what the situation is now. - I know, it's, yeah. - Maybe we should look up her name as a journalist. - Well, we don't, we don't know who she is. - Oh. - We don't have a name. - But do we know the influencer? - Yeah. - We gotta find them. (laughing) - That's fun. I'll find you. There's a lot of people that are on big group texts and group me's with people of their same name. - Oh. - Like a bunch of, like, wow. - It's not gonna somebody. - I've never met another Shane top with-- - Well, no, just Shane, like, if you're on a group, me with a bunch of Shane. - Oh. - But Shane spelled, my way is pretty rare. - Oh, really? - Yeah, with the Y. - Also, I was gonna show on you. It is so common, like, so many people who came into Ellis Island, it was all just, like, word of-- - Just kinda like, all right. - Like, I guess I was told that we're thinking that it was actually Jerotano. Oh, and not Jerotano. And it was, like, a mishearing thing. - I think my grandpa said at one point that top back in, like, Germany, back in the fucking, whatever fucking barbarian times. It was, like, Tupa or something. - Whoa. - Wait, I love Shane Tupa. - Shane Tupa. - He's at Tupa Artinis. He's now Shane Tupa. - My name goes back a while. Like, no, when they were describing, like, oh, yeah, you're great, great, great, whatever grandfather who moved out to America and went to Montana. Johan Top. I was like, that's fucking hilarious. - Johan Tupa. - Johan Top. They show up in like, Tupa, and they're like, no, fucking top. - Tupa, I'm writing top. - Yeah, I'm not 100% on that, but I thought I remember him saying that. - All right. Our last story comes from "Am I Overreacting?" It's posted this month in 2026. - I love when they're fresh. - I know. "Am I overreacting?" From my annoyed response to my friend asking to bring her boyfriend to our girl's trip. - Oh my God. - So we planned the trip a few weeks back. We're all between the ages of 19 to 20, and we wanted to book a place to stay from Sunday to Tuesday. I found the place so I booked it under my name. Me and another one of my friends paid for the deposit, but other than that, we all split the price. The room situation for the six of us was three bedrooms and a pull-out couch. Anyways, we got on a call, and she told me her boyfriend is not coming, but she's mad at me for blowing up at her for a mild request. I don't want to tell my friends because I don't want any more tension on the trip. So I've come here to just post this, and we have a text exchange between OP and this friend. It's a group chat exchange. - Okay. - That OP is part of. Hey, I just wanted to confirm everything is all good for tomorrow. This friend writes, "Hey, babes, kissy, heart, emoji. Everything is good, but I just wanted to add that blank is coming." We'll call him Todd. I just want to add that Todd is coming. - Todd Sholtz. - Todd Sholtz. Everything is good, but I just wanted to add that Todd is coming. I understand it's all last minute, but yeah, it would be better for me to inform you in advance. (laughing) OP writes, "I'm really confused right now. Is he coming for the whole day or is he going to sleep here?" writes, "You removed a message." I sent a voice note, but you can't hear anything. Could we just go on a call right now? She writes, "Sorry, I can't call right now." But yeah, Todd is going to be staying the night. I feel bad because you're going to have to chase up booking, but I'm more than happy to just do it myself. - Oh my God. - OP writes, "You can't really do that. The booking is in my name and they have my number." I don't know how long it's going to take or if they're going to add an additional charge. I'll call when I get home later. However, whether they'll let him come isn't guaranteed, plus the others might not be comfortable since it was meant to be a girl's-- - Yeah. - She writes, "OMGGG, that sounds like so much work. I feel awful. I'm sure the other girls will be fine. It's basically a couple trip anyway." OP writes, "How with four question marks, you're going to be the only couple." She goes, "Yeah, but blank and blank are X's." OP writes, "They met on a blind date, but they never actually dated, so they were never a couple." She writes, "They'll all be fine with it, trust me. Girl, two crying emojis, you need to meet your friends. I'll look into the booking, but before that, you need to ask them if they're fine with it." She writes, "A bunch of gibberish. It's going to be awkward. You do it, please." My beautiful princess, two kissing emojis, sweet and kind with a heart of gold. OP writes, "Flattery isn't going to work. I don't understand this. One of them might agree because she hates to say no to this. And the others also have problems saying no, but blank is going to be pissed." She writes, "Why do you care so much what that person thinks? What one of our friends thinks?" She writes, "Cause it's her birthday in all caps." - You were kidding me, Bob! - You can be away from your boyfriend for two days. She writes, "If you have a problem, just fucking say it." You can't agree to do something, but then in the same breath, come up with all the reasons you shouldn't do. - Oh my God. - Are you in love with Todd or something? Or it's not, it's probably the friend. Are you in love with that friend or something? Why are we doing so much for her birthday? It's a trip for all of us just because it coincides with her birthday, doesn't mean the trip is for her. - Babe. Babe. - OP says, "Am I in love with you 'cause I'm also doing you a favor?" And by that logic, everyone would be in love with each other. I just wanted you to confirm things before I go out of my way to call up for no reason. You don't have to be such a little shit about not being with Joe for two days. Okay, so we get to know his name. - Okay, so it's not Todd, it's not Todd, it's not Todd. - It's gonna lead you to his name is Joe. - So we figured out it's Joe. - And I'll say, of course, his name is Joe. - I love that at a certain point, she got so fed up, she stopped erasing the name. She's like, "Fuck you." You see each other twice a week, it won't be all that different from usual. She says, "Nice to know how you feel about things." OP says, "Things, things singular. "There's one issue right now." She writes, "You not being supportive "of my relationship is the other thing." OP says, "I am supportive of your relationship. "I just don't think it's a good idea "to change our plans." She goes, "God, you're so OCD." - What? (laughing) - You got the definition of that? - OP says, "Okay, take cheap blows right now. "Call me when you're not busy "and before it's too late, "so I know whether I need to make a call or not." She writes, "I will, I will, even though I'm not sure "if I even want to go." - Oh! - OP says, "That's your prerogative, "but tell me in advance because I need to rearrange things." Oh my God, this person sucks so bad. - This is so, okay, wait. Can we talk about, are you ever on a group text when there's a fight going on? And you're like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa." - Oh, holy shit. - Oh, shit. - Holy shit, you're at work and you're like, "Oh my God, they're fighting." - You're just like a watcher? Or you're in the middle of a convo that you can't look at your phone. It's not like, "Okay, and you feel your phone start to buzz." - And you're like. - And you're just like, " either my family "or my group of friends is going through some shit." - Truly? - I am always, I wanna say 98% of the time. I'm the other girl on the thread going, "Hey, catching up!" - Yeah. - Like hours later, 'cause that's always me. - If I'm out and I start to feel my phone buzz a ton, it's either one of my group of friends has some crazy shit going on or my mom posted, look at this sunset. And it's all my sister and laws and brothers going, "Yeah, it looks great, mom." - All with Andrew, I'd say. - Yeah, great. - Well, I like this. - Well, I like this. - It's like, "Yeah, yeah, it's pretty cool." This person's did a lot that I hate, right? - Yeah. - Oh, yes. - The OCD was the cherry on top of like, "Oh, you're just a super asshole." - Yeah. - But I hate the original thing at the beginning of, sorry, the original text. - The, when she's like, "It's gonna be awkward, but if you do it, please, my beautiful princess, sweet and kind, my heart of gold." I'm like, "Fuck you. You've clearly been so manipulative." And you get away with this shit. - You're so often. - I'm like, "Ah, I hate that the most." - Yeah, I hate that. - You know what you're asking is unfair. - Yes. - And you're trying to code it with all this shit. - Yes, yes. - Like, don't do that. - Also just saying he's coming. - He's coming. This is happening. And you have no choice. - You have no choice. And you have to call, but I can, maybe, it's inconvenient for you, but I like, I could try. Like, no, just don't even ask. There's so much wrong here. And it's hard to like pick the best one to start. Like, I'm like, overwhelmed. It's just like she knows it's unfair and wrong. And she's doing it anyways. And it's so inconvenient. Like, the fact that you know it's inconvenient and you're still going, It just makes you a very selfish person. - That's also their 19 or 20. So they're young in their plus one life, but plus one rules are so interesting, where it's like, oh, if everyone's bringing a plus one, you don't really need to ask. But then if nobody is, you should kind of ask. Like it's like a very weird thin line. - 1920, this is pre, like when you, as a friend group go, oh, we need to stop talking to this one person. - Yeah. - Like really? Like kind of hits in your like early mid-20s, I think, is where I've seen at least when I was in my 20s. That's when it's like, oh, we're cutting this person off. - Or, yeah. - Or if we can't talk sense to them, and they can't understand other people. - Or, yeah, I think it's also like, oh, you're young, you haven't been on a lot of group trips. And this is an Airbnb blowing up post-pandemic. It's all started where it's like, that is a thing that people do when they are in a friend group. And there are etiquettes, and there are things. And inviting someone without full cast buy-in. I'm like, you need the whole group to be like, we're all sharing fucking bathrooms and a kitchen. You all need to agree on who's coming. I can also see this zoomed out 10 years later when these people are married, kids, whatever. And they go, hey, remember when you did that? Like, that was a fake. - 100%. - And that was so lame of you, but look at how much you've grown. And like, that was so lame. - 100%. - We love you. - Sure. - I can see that too. - I bring up, like, cutting people off. I also, at this stage in my 30s, I am friends with so many people where we went through phases where it was like, oh, you were being an absolute asshole. And they're like, I was being a total asshole. - Yes, totally. - And I grew up and I learned. I took those things in a way that I'm like, oh, how can I change from this? - There are also invisible rules to the girls' trip. That is true. - The girls' trip? - Joe, I don't want to go on the girls' trip. - That's not true. - Poor fucking Joe. But then second of all, like, I don't know, a bunch of girls going on a trip. There are, I don't know what it is, but it's like the second you bring a plus one, it's not a girls' trip anymore. - No, I don't mean it in gender ways. I mean, it like, like, this is a dog-only beach. And you bring owners. - Yeah, I get it. - But you know what I mean? It changes that I name it significantly. It's not about gender, but you bring your plus ones. - Wonderful. - It's so different. - I remember when, even when me and Anne got drinks for the first time, and I brought Sam. And I was like, the dynamic changed. - Oh my God, I do remember that. - And I was like, I can't be fully me and Anne, you know, because there's a third person. - I fully respect it. - I did. - I fully respect that. - And I'm sorry. - No, we have a plus. But it is like, you just have to acknowledge. And I remember, you were like, is it cool if he comes? Because we had already had like a round or something. - Yeah. - It's like, you just have to acknowledge, like, hey, I'm gonna change the dynamic of what we're about to do. - Totally. - Because Joe's about to come. - And maybe at 1920, she just doesn't understand, like, socially. - Yeah. - But I think that's something like, people in their mid, late 20s. - Yeah. - I think people start to understand that more. - That's what I'm saying is like, they're not learning. - Yeah, they're learning. - It's just like, dynamics are different. - Yeah. - And sometimes it's just even a numbers game too. Like, you know, when you're hanging out, it's like, three people, four people, five people. It changes. - But it's also so uncomfortable when there's a male person in. - I fully agree. - A girl's trip Airbnb. Like, yeah. - You can't just run around naked. This, I will say this, this literally happened to my friends who are actually in their 30s recently, where they all, it was like a girl's trip. And one was hell-bent, being like, I'm bringing my boyfriend. I'm bringing my boyfriend. And it made the others mad. And then it made my friend mad, being like, why can't I bring my boyfriend? You don't get to decide. And what was interesting was it was less about this person bringing their boyfriend. And it was more that all of the friends in that group were like, it's because we never hang out with you without him. Some relationships are like that. And that is also another red flag. Where it's like, I can't go without Joe. And it's like, it's like, okay, who are you? - So no, you can't. - You actually can't. - Yeah, who are you individually? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's actually funny. Because I'm thinking if I'm in the place of Joe, there's been times where Courtney's going out and she'll be like, oh, yeah. And it might be even people who hear it work. She'll be like, oh, I think it's going to be mostly a girl's. I think it's a girl's night. - Yeah, yeah. - I'm like, oh, sick. And then later on, after a couple hours, she'll be like, oh, actually, I think it might not be. So if you want to come, and I'm already like, mid-planning, I'm like, oh, I'd already planned on the movie. I was going to watch by myself that night. I'm like, I'm like, cracking a beard. I'm like, oh, really? Oh. - You got charlots. - I don't know if I can though. [ Laughter ] That's great. Are you sure it's not just girls? I feel like it's probably. - You should do the girls thing. - You got charlots web opened, bureau opened. - You sure are, let's web. - Me getting plastered, reading charlots web for the 10th time. Under a barbell. - What's that fucking spider writing now? [ Laughter ] - Babe, I'm actually pretty deep in it. [ Laughter ] - I'm picking out right now. - I'm having a guy's head. - Joe is reading charlots web. - Just me and the barn. [ Laughter ] All right, verdict is not overreacting. - Yeah. We didn't even touch the texts. The texts were crazy. - Oh, awful. That's not how you talk to your friends. Anyway, keep going. - No. Uh, verdict not overreacting. Comments not overreacting. This is not a friend. She has unilaterally tried to change the plans. And when you express consideration for others, she immediately attacked you and your other friends. You didn't blow up at her. She blew up at you and has proven herself to be unreliable and immature. If I were you, I would think carefully about whether I want to stay friends with someone like this. Someone said, "Not the asshole. Who plans a girl's trip and brings a boy?" Oh, he said, "For real, why would a man be there?" Lastly, someone said, "Why on earth as a boyfriend would you want to go on a girl's trip?" Also, your friend is being really uncompromising by just telling you her boyfriend is coming. Not overreacting. Oh, he said, "I have no clue about whether or not he knew it was a girl's trip." Or if she omitted that detail to him. He's the type of guy who's down for any type of hangout, even when he isn't invited. So there is a possibility that he was aware of the fact. Whatever. I mean, Joe is not a part like, is that fault. I'm also, there's so many things this girl was an avalanche of problems because you also added to the fact that she then expected OP to communicate this to the person. Like, "Can you do it?" Yeah, can you do it? Oh my god, that sounds like so much work. Anyways, thank you. Anyway, Joe. Joe. And then you're like, "You just don't see D or something." Joe's, "Oh, that was. " Just come on. You know what? Joe, stay home. Yeah. Boy, we did it, Joe. We did it, Joe. You're now on the girl's trip. You're coming to the trip. He's just like, "Oh, yeah, that's pretty good, dude." You know, he gets a ice cream. He was my friend. Olivia Obama is going to be there. I said to Obama, I said, I said, I said, "What are we doing?" I was good. - That was actually good. - Good find it. - That was good. - All right, that's it. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, - No more stories. - Should I check? - I forgot to take out. - You haven't even cut the umbilical cord. (all laughing) - And I forgot to take out your espresso shot. - Wait, you saw, oh, oh, shit, I get to use the espresso shot too. - You want to see a espresso shot? - To you. - That's for you guys. Get your maple syrup out. - Get your cupcake syrup. Megan, get your entitlement out. - That's for you, Megan, since you want a free coffee so bad. Take it. - I will. - I will. - Take it. - Never unseat this being an umbilical cord. (all laughing) - Hey, cheers guys, it's Saturday morning. Get your coffee out. - Oh, no sweetener in this? Entitled, getting, just getting. - Whoa, it tastes like pancakes! - Really? - Does it? - I'm okay with it. - Okay. - Thank you both so much. - Thank you, Shane. - Thank you, man. - Thank you, thank you. - And thank you for watching. And, hey, we'll see you next Saturday. Bye. - Bye. [BLANK_AUDIO]