A Motherforking Clusterfluff with Trixie and Katya

[MUSIC] >> Get fucked, get fucked, get fucked. >> That was the first thing I hope people hear when they turn on this pod. >> You know what I'm saying, get fucked, get fucked. >> Oh yeah, our last pod said like- >> Age restriction. >> We got it, age restriction. And I thought it was, I thought it was like, they don't want us being critical of elected officials. >> But- >> We do scream like 20 times. >> In the first two minutes. >> Words, get fucked. >> Well, now we, now because I've said that three times, we can't do it for a while. >> Okay, I used to have a guitar player who was very Christian, and he would- >> He would say- >> Oh, that fork- >> It's still in raspberry. >> That is so flippant. You little flippant flip. >> You fork and spoon raspberry. >> You little flip. >> Yeah, you poop. >> The state did a funny sketch about like they did this show called Tenement, but they had to stop in the language and everywhere it is a swear. So they did like that. >> poop, you, you, I don't even remember it's funny. >> Fork and spoon raspberry is my favorite one. >> You poop, you poop. >> Did you have a nice Valentine's Day? >> I think so. >> What'd you do? >> I don't- >> Wait, what day was it actually? >> So it lands on February 14th every year. >> Yes. >> No, I know my life- >> This year was a Saturday. >> So the cabaret was two days before. >> Oh my God, you did the cabaret. >> It was fun. That is, you know, I always, it's always a little bit, first of all, backstage of the cabaret. I don't know if you remember. There are so many feathers. There are so many gigantic feather headdresses and it just, it creeps me out. Like I- >> Feathers? >> Yeah, like gigantic feather. I mean, I'm just thinking like because it's basically the same size and like shape as Jock's backroom. >> Yes, it is. >> It is not disgustingly filthy. >> Higher ceilings, I think they're two. >> Yeah, that's true. >> Higher ceilings. >> Not bad mirrors back there. >> No, the mirrors are good. There's one vent that has like fierce AC, there's like one square foot where you can get like blasted by AC. It's pretty fierce. >> Yeah. >> It was fun, but I always want to be in the crowd because the crowd is so hot and sexy. >> It really is. That is like, I'm sorry, it's the best drag type show in LA. It reminds me of drag 15 years ago and the best way, so fun. It's so gutted. >> Yeah. >> The show's right. >> The talent is like, of course, weirdly good, but the production quality and we're just doing this for tonight. >> Yeah, yeah. >> This is a one night thing. >> Yeah, yeah. >> It feels so like, I in the audience, I'm always like, what is going to happen next? What's going to come out? >> Yeah. >> I told Andrew, I said, it's great. It's great she does the show too and he was like, well, normally, I wait till she's in a really good mood and then I ask and then I make the poster before she can change the mind. >> Absolutely. >> Which I honestly-- >> That is a freak. >> So we do here. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> That is the way he's like, I'll feel her out when I ask and I'll get the poster out before she can change her mind. I said, that's actually really impressive. >> I gotta say though, the thing I did not enjoy driving there in drag. >> Mary, let me tell you, let me give you my eye popping day look or night look. I wish I took a fuck. You know, if I were not so goddamn stupid, I would have taken a video or logged it or whatever the fuck. That is when I get in drag. >> This cannot be documented. This is a secret. >> I get so-- >> This is a secret. >> This is a secret that the night ends and I go, I didn't take one photo. >> Mary, I never do. In fact, I think I also request other people don't. >> Love it. >> It's nuts. Anyways, so I was like, okay, what am I going to-- I did my makeup and then I did-- >> I can't wait till I think tomorrow, my voice is going to sound like Catholic Turner. >> I saw a video. You did. >> No, no, no, no. Love you like a love song. Yes. Keep crying, jobless. Selina Gomez. Selina Gomez. But so I did-- I put on my body the whole thing and then my makeup and I didn't want to put the wig on yet. So I wore this-- I have this black button down shirt that goes all the way to the floor. And I wore a hat and then I-- that's what I drove in and I-- I would look like a weird crustacean-- >> Yeah, yeah, totally. And then I was like lugging my suitcase down La Brea because I parked on the-- because, you know, you just-- >> Across the street. >> Across the street. It was so undignified. And so awkward. But very drag. >> Very what it was. >> But very-- yes, it was. And it was-- >> It was so funny to see you. >> I'm glamorous. No, not really. >> It's like-- no. >> It's not. >> Cautious super fans. >> No, no, no, no. >> It's friends of porn people. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Yeah. >> And they're friends who are dentists. >> Yep. >> Totally. minutes for a bottle of water. 16 and half minutes. 32.5 minutes. And I talk so much shit about the bar service there. Now the next time I go, I'm gonna be like, hey, how y'all doing? They're not gonna give you anything. Oh my God, I have to tell you something. I went Sunday for Valentine's Day. I went because I had a Valentine's Day dinner Saturday. So I'm gonna tear and tear, I'm gonna tell you the end first. So Sunday, I had the funeral. And then, you know, and it's over, I go, I'm gonna go, I'm, I wanted to go with my boyfriend to high tops, low spelas for a happy hour. You know, yeah, 'cause we're alkeys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of swollen, kind of red nose. Yeah, kind of falling down. Right, right, right, driving home, jumping the median, you know, driving home drunk. So we walk there, actually, which is great, walk there, because my buttholes healed enough that the doctor told me I could go for walks. Huge of true. Huge of claws. That is huge. Congratulations. Thank you. And I go to there and I go to the bar, and I'm looking at their menu and high tops, all of their locations have this huge, almost like scoreboard of all the drinks and food. So I'm like, what do I want? What do I want? And I always get the hot rod, which I talked about on the pod. And the bar, you know, I'm friends with every bartender at bar manager, we're all friends. And you know, the girls and the bar people, we can, we can talk about the bars working in bars. Girl, it's a slog. You know, yeah, yeah, yeah. And but I love the hot rod, which is this spicy tequila drink. And I go, I think I might want, and they go, the hot rod. And I said, what do you mean? They said, well, you talked about on the pod and now everyone's requesting it. It's, they said, oh, no, it's not, they said, next time, could you just say you love Vaca soda? Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. It's like mint tulips. It's all we love. And the bar manager's like, no, we're just kidding. We'll make anything of course, but they said the next time we've been joking, maybe you tell people your favorite drink is Vakasota or something. Or just Sprite. Yeah. So my favorite drink now is Vakasota. If you go to high tops, okay. And you order a double and you tip three times the price of the drink. But is there like a whole like a shoots and ladders type of set up in this in this hot rod? Or no, like a bloody Mary has like a whole like chicken. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. They are, it's just the hot rod is like a little drink. Why don't you say no spicy tequila for your butthole, bitch. Oh, but I mean, I'm always so stopped up anything to like, it's, yeah, you know, blow through the bar. Oh my God. Yeah. Spicy vegan curry. Maybe I'll have one regular movement. You know what I mean? Great. That's awful to talk about. It's okay. We this is pooping people. It's a pooping piece. Yeah. So anyway, that was funny that because of the pod we've been ruining lives by recommending. So for now, when we go places, we should recommend the easiest to make things. Yes. And I also, I listen, we are, I'm not endorsed by them, but I can't tell you I, I can't. The swaps ginger ale fruit splash. Yeah. I want to put it right up my pussy for the nachos, the corn dogs. What about the pretzels? The pretzels are so kind. The harvest to grain bowl. Harvest to green bowl. They have a harvest grain bowl. That's like their healthiest thing in the menu. Horny. Horny for the green bowl fully unleashed. What is caught cage off? And got caught speaking of caught cages. I saw Tracy at a sushi restaurant. Was she caged? No, that didn't really say one. So I'm sitting with my friend. My friend went through a separation and I'm listening to him talk about it. And I'm listening, but you know, I can't focus. So one of my eyes is like looking at the street, looking at the, you know, like just iguana. One of my eyes is sad for you. One of my eyes is like, ooh, what else? Anything else? Do something else. Do my brows. Because thanks Obama, we're also used to the TV, the phone, multiple sources of info. So this eye is crying for you. This eye is like looking for the hot rod is roller coaster. I love looking around. And I see this lezzy walking down the street. I see a green jacket. I go, I think I know how that is. And my friend is like telling the story. And he's like, kind of sad and talking about it. And he's like, anyway, and it's just like, who are you looking at? And I was like, Oh, I know her. Go on. Yeah, you were saying know her. So then we finished talking and like, and I walked by. And who do I see in the parking lot next to this place? Who do I see in the parking lot, Los Angeles? Who do I see? Who do I see? Who do I see? Oh, man. No way. I'm into buying. And you want to talk eye-popping day look? Tell me. It could only be her. Okay. She has a face tattoo. She has very like, like, I knew it was her. Okay, okay. And I love Amanda. I always love Amanda. Is she the man? She's the man. She's the man. She's she's the man. She's the man of show. She's all that. She's many things. She's many things. What's the movie where she crossed dresses? Oh, she's the man. She's the man. Yeah. Freddie Prince is in the name. But anyway, I see her and I walk to the restaurant. I go, Oh, my God. Tracy, I saw you. And I said, you'll never guess who I just saw. And Tracy goes, who? I said, Amanda Bines. And the server, who was very nice and cool, did something that was, I felt odd. The server was like, she was here. I just waited on her. I think she's doing really good. - Wow! And I just was like, I mean, I know this is an AA, but can we let the girls get sushi without, like, that's so crazy. - Don't ever let me be in a place where the servers are like, I think she's doing okay. - I think she's got it this time. (laughing) I was just like, it looks like it took this time. I was like, damn, girls, she just came to eat some sushi. - That's crazy. - Let the girls eat sushi without, the urine test, that'll like that. - You know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, supportive referrals. - Not to mention, I follow Amanda on TikTok and she's always talking about the education she's getting when she's doing next, she's putting out music, she's getting her nail certification. - She's booked in Busy, she's got the point. - She's been wearing wigs. Gams, she's singing your song. Anyway, I was kind of in shock that the server meant well, but was like, that is so funny. - She's doing it. - I think she's doing really. I was like, I think she's doing great. - But even if she is. - Yeah. - That's her business. - Saying it like that and she talked a little, what's the word? - Intrusive? - There's a little intrusive. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know, yeah, absolutely. I was excited to see her, I love her. - I wouldn't say anything. - And she's celebrity sighting, I love that shit. I love it so much and it never happens here. That's why when we went to that, dropping in Charlize Theron's Christmas party, Charlize Theron's Christmas party, I was like, just like, I love it. I love famous people, movie stars. They just, they scare me in general. But, and I say the wrong thing as you know. - Yes. - So good thing to talk to Amanda. I almost screamed the love of you, Amanda. I'm like, what is that? - I don't know. - That's alerting someone. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's scaring someone. - It's crazy. - You want to see famous people, Franklin Village. - Don't scream, Franklin Village. - Really? - All the like former CW-Chainsmokers are outside La Puebel. - I love Franklin Village. It's where I used to get, you know, re-up my like 50, you know how my old house had like 50 candles burning at all times. - Yeah. - I used to go to that candle store, like just, - Oh, that went on the corner. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's the news store. - It's like, it's the news store. It's has like magazine. - I think it's called Daily Planet. - Yeah, it's like that. - Which is the name of the, the superman. - The fictional superman. Yeah. - Yeah. - That street, the other day I saw Dylan Minette and Bam Margera. - Oh. - We'll have, just walking. So I was like, on the way here is like, why is LA so ugly? And, no, but, - How could you say that next to the Scientology Center, which is gorgeous? - Well, no, no, no. The few exceptions that there are exceptions, obviously, is that a half a block of Franklin Village, it's literally half a block. It's gorgeous. It's beautiful. And it's got this. - It is beautiful. - It has the whole torture chamber behind it, which is gorgeous. - And galsons is beautiful. - Yeah. - If you want to build it. - Everything up to Clark Street Diner. - Yeah. - That shit eats. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That is some breakfast. - Conti. - That's what you see, the other famous people too, I saw Alfi something from Game of Thrones and also the skateboarder guy. - Clark Street Diner pride is coming. Let's do it. You and I should do a drag brunch at the Clark Street Diner. - No. - We're the only servers for the whole day. - Oh, and we're also not doing numbers. - It's a drag brunch, but it's just shitty service. - Yeah, super shitty service. I don't know how to anything. - And for the first time, I'm wearing open-toe shoes. It's a drag. - Like nobody else. - Nobody else. Nobody else. - Nobody else. - Heronette. - Can I tell you how many heronettes? - So many heronettes. - You know Violet used to work at Lips, right? - Yes. - Isn't she Atlanta? - Imagine Violet. In a position service. - I would service. - Service. (laughing) - Heron? - What could you ask for that Violet would be okay with? - Nothing. - She'd be like, she's like, ugh. - Cher showing up. Not exactly to promote eating at that point. - Yeah, yeah. - Fuck. - I just think it's, that's a circle. - I can see me as a server. - I could see me as a server tomorrow. - I could see her as a server ever. - No, I could do copy. I don't like, I could be one of those old like, - You know, we made a copy of him. - Like that kind of like, you know, old Betty or like a Doris kind of vibes, but I, Mary, I could never be, I would get fired in like 10 minutes. The bookstores I worked at, they had a cafe. They put me in that cafe. I said, no ma'am. - It's over. - I'm not wearing them some mocha, mocha chaka chaka chaka. - Were you sufficient making the tea? - That's putting hot water in a tea bag. - But that's really all it was. - You didn't have to make coffee or nothing. - No, I think at the cafe, they had just doing like mocha frappers - Did you look at a tea store? - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - That was even, that was crazy. That was crazy, but it was easy. But that was crazy. People drink in tea like that. - That's the closest thing to a tea girl you're ever gonna be. (laughing) Back it up honey. (upbeat music) - Did you know about, um. - What? What? - Okay. - What? - Okay. - Oh, so you remember when Charlie Kirk died? - Yeah, everything I did. - Why? - I think about it every day. - So do you remember how people who loved Charlie Kirk were going to Starbucks and ordering this type of tea he got and they asked for them to yell Charlie Kirk? - I did not know that. - Okay, so that's crazy. - This was a point of activism where Charlie Kirk passed. - Passed? - Passed a bar. - The bar, yeah. Passed. And people who, like the things he said, wanted to honor him by going to Starbucks. I think it was the mint majesty tea is what he gets. They would order his exact drink and then say the name was Charlie Kirk. And then they would sit there with their phone and wait for like the blue-haired NB barista to have to say drink for sure. And so nice they would say like drink for Charlie. - Yeah. - And they'd be like, "Why won't you say the last name?" It was like so crazy. - I hate that. - This one after like that. - Two and a half weeks, but it felt like four years. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - When this was going on, but now, Leland and I were, of course when someone dies, you're like, you're joking because you have to joke a little. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We were like talking about getting Starbucks. We were like, "Is it okay to show up to the, "we are a little early for the funeral. "Is it okay if we show up with Starbucks?" And I said, "I think we have to order something for Gabe." And then we have to order his order 'cause they were like Gabe loved two giant trend to copies. I said, "Well, we're gonna go order 'em." - Perfect. - Or we're gonna say these are for Gabe and we're gonna film it. - That is really weird with the Charlie Kirk thing. - I hate that so much. - I hate it. - It's crazy. - The next, oh my god, Charlie's driving that Waymo. Like, I made that up, they're not doing that. - But I mean, it's the same flavor. It's just-- - Oh, I hate it. I hate it. - And what you do is, I have no issue with ordering coffees and teas for yourself, but this isn't about that. - No, no, no. - Let's say your mom loved coffee and that day you said, "You know what, I miss my mom. "I'm gonna get the coffee the way she used to drink it "for myself to drink." - Sure. - But that's not what's going on. - No, no, it's a performance. - And also, I don't, don't videotape me that my job. - You're gonna go to the most vulnerable LGBT people. - Yeah. - Buristas. (laughs) - You know, as if these people who are highly skilled aren't busy making real drinks. - Yeah. - Do you realize that airport, oh my God, when we're at the airport sometimes that those Starbucks, they're so deep and vicious because you can order ahead. - Oh yeah. - I don't believe you should be able to do that. - I'm sorry. At those airport ones, I think you just go in there and get your coffee. I think it's crazy. - It's crazy. - Well, like the LAX International Terminal, there's always a huge, there's a line of people waiting for coffee and there's a second line of people waiting for their pre-order so it does beg the question, what is the point of the pre-order? - 'Cause we're all still waiting. - No, I know, it just mucks up the whole thing. It's crazy. - I really wish we had Dunkin' Donuts over here. - You do, you actually like that. - Mary, I've been vegetarian my whole life, but if you catch me with a wake-up wrap, which I think is 89 cents, it's a half folded like tortilla with an egg, cheese, and a strip of bacon in it. - Okay, you love it. - Nirvana. Nirvana. - What about Krispy Kreme? - They don't do breakfast. Do they do a savory breakfast? - No, they don't. - Krispy Kreme, I think just does donuts, but they do it good. - I want to shove all those donuts up my ass. - There's a Dunkin' Donuts in Bering. - Is there a Krispy Kreme? - Yeah, there's a Krispy Kreme like around the corner. - There's a Dunkin' Donuts over here. - Oh, yes, there is. - Wow, wow. - Everybody just pretends to be on a Zoom until they talk about donuts. I'm the dream person to order a coffee 'cause they don't drink coffee. So, no, the order is a plain iced tea, nothing in it. - Oh, it's so easy. - Or a plain black tea, nothing in it. I'm the dream. - That is the dream. - I'm the star. - It's fierce. - And even though I love a lot of different drinks, when I go to Gibars, I always get the bakasota. 'Cause they don't like coffee. - Is that what the Gs are hurting? - The girls are tired. - You're not ordering a mint julep. - You're not ordering them. - No. - You're not having people muddle mint. Now I love tequila, and we live in California. And so if I go somewhere where you have a promoted menu with a tequila drink, I'm gonna take advantage of that. - You like tequila? - Love it. - Really? - Love it. Tequila makes your clothes fall off. (laughing) - You know what I mean? - It's the Belvedere plain tricks on you. (laughing) Retta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. - Take my thong off and my ass go boo. - Have you ever heard the song Tequila? - Tequila. - Yeah. - Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. - Love. - Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a barn burner. If you're ordering shots for the table, we're all going up our girls' night. What are we drinking for shots? - Well, the people I run with, they don't need a shot, but they want the experience. - No, but we want a shot. - So recently I was in Jackson Hole. - Okay. - And I ordered 13 shots for the table. - There was only two of them. (laughing) - No, I ordered 13 shots for the table, and the bartender was gay. And I didn't know, it was a straight bar. And he comes and he sees me and he goes like, (laughing) - He goes, "Girl, what are you doing here with these straight people?" And I said, "I don't know, girl." I said, "Oh my God." And I knew I was with straight people who, I'm just going to say it, can't drink. - Oh. - Can't hold their liquor. - Oh, gotcha, gotcha. The men start swinging in the women's cry. Straight people are jammed up emotionally. - Oh, that's true, that's true. - Prince William just talked about it. - Yes. - Online, yeah. - The people of anger, people of hurt, they don't understand their emotions. - Right. you know, they could follow. RFKs. Yeah. They could do something healthier. I just have a ludge like they could do anything. Whole milk. I don't know. I'm milk. I'm not talking my throat as I pull it out. It's just like I eat up some gateway. It's just it's all crazy. It's all crazy. But straight people when they they feel a lot but they don't but they don't talk about it. This is all people. This is all people. So then sometimes alcohol unlocks the pressure. Yes. Yes. Yes. So you find your and I do this. It's the classic thing in the girl lady's room. Yeah. That's why I'm a plane. One sip of wine and a remotely sad movie. Oh yeah. I'm like I gotta call my mom. We gotta land this plane. Yeah. You know, I had to turn off ghost halfway through because I was the woman next to me was getting concerned. Seriously. Did I tell you about that? I told you about the notebook. Oh yeah. The person next to me on the flight was watching it. Yeah. And I had no sound and I was watching it like like it's crying. And she was I'm sure like you like she put up like it's the ACT. She put up like a blinder. I cannot watch other people's movie. I can't help it. What was my what was that? So the um straight people they get together. So I'm with all my lovely straight friends and they go what kind of shot do you want? Because you ask what kind of shots? Yes. And I said, did you guys have X rated? What's that? It's like a berry light liquor because I want the camaraderie of the shot. You don't want all the drama. You don't need to push the limits. Yeah. I don't want to be sick tomorrow either. I love drinking. But I I I I will not. I will. But I don't want to be that girl hungover. So how do you avoid a hangover? You have to. There's a lot of strategies. So you do you do scotch whiskey red wine. My old strategy used to be you skipped the first drink and then I in the last drink. So if everyone's having a I think a gay guy. I don't know if drinking could reasonably have four or five cocktails. Right Nick? See yeah. That's I think no. It's the team sport. Um I feel like it's the team sport element that uh it goes south because everybody's not created equal on this team. Right. And I want to wake up tomorrow and have us be like half alive. Yeah. So let's have a shot for the vibe. Yes. We don't need the high alcohol content. No. So usually for me, although in Wisconsin, the culture is very different. You start the night with a shot. Wisconsin, you go to the bar, people get a beer and a shot to start and then they start like that's like Boston. Shot culture is big. That's disgusting. I think it's regional. Mm hmm. It beer is very large. Very um huge. Huge. Yeah. From yeah. Like usually like a six to nine percent ABV. No. I know that sacrilege. What? Because the Wisconsin is so big. Yeah. But I just have never got into it. I just tastes like um shit to me and wine tastes like booty too. Do you like cigars? Yeah. I mean I don't like I like the way they smell. I don't I don't. Would you ever smoke a cigar? I mean I have. I don't it's not for me because it's like you don't inhale it. If you die and they're at the funeral open casket, I won't put the cigar in your mouth. Do absolutely. But you're going to keep um it's going to be one of those ones that keep the no sense burner. Not champa. Yeah. Not champa up the nose. Yeah. Uh no. I you have to rig my um open casket to like fall on somebody and vomit into their mouth like drag me to hell. Like everybody everybody who comes up that also happens at bad grandpa. Did you see that? No. You need to watch bad grandpa. Wait, is is there male nudity in that one? It's fake male nudity I believe. Uh it's like the old man fake old man body. Oh, okay. Well speaking of that, a night of the seven kingdoms. Mary. Jorkin the dong of death. Jorkin your penis. The dong. I was like this. This is really really like. Where's something? Do you see that? Do I see it? How could I miss it? It's fake, right? No, that's real. Of course it's fake. Isn't that crazy? To the knee is crazy. Yeah. And then he pees out of it. Oh yeah. He pees out of it. I was like the movies are back, man. It's so fierce. It's so fierce. I love Game of Thrones so much. In this new this new um I wasn't feeling it but now I'm feeling it. It's so fierce. A night of the seven kingdoms. The last episode was so bloody I could not believe it. Really? It was the Atonement with a jousting it just absolutely just relentless violence. Relentless just like oh my god it was like crazy. You're like love. It's fierce. I went for Valentine's Day. I went to my boyfriend. I feel like in L.A. they're I keep getting tick toxing. L.A. is so back and the food is better than ever. Ben from what? I don't know but the people making these tick tox are 23 and they're like L.A. is so back and I'm like back from what middle school like girl we talking about but of course I believe it and I hate watch the whole thing. So now tick tox is like the tears with the 20 year old say are the best food and they go great. I'm young. Um so um my partner takes me for Valentine's Day to a restaurant we'd never been to which in Hollywood is such a gamble. Oh yeah baby. Some of these some of these some of these restaurants that are good are trucks. Yes the best food in Hollywood. Yeah sometimes it's on a truck. Yes also but but and that's fine. That's good. That's good. Well or the fancy restaurant with the way you got to check out this place of brunch is amazing. You go and you're like hey um how long is the weight? It's about 14 days. Oh literally. What I say is. Okay we'll line up now. I think in Hollywood sometimes the cheap places are the fucking best food. Well and then the places that are trying to be something you're like this is this is just this is just normal that tell me about it. I so wait you where did you go for Valentine's Day because now I just remember what I did. I forget what it's called but this place and we go to the the the host was so nice she was so pretty um and she was like let's just go this way and I swear to God maybe I imagined or maybe I read the mind she was like let's put them in the overflow room because it's Valentine's Day so it was like there was this extra dining room they set up for overflow. Damn. So it's like this big bustling Hollywood restaurant and then they take me down a hallway past the bathrooms and it's another room with just another couple in it and us and it's like double day double day. Are you serious? The songs they're playing are all about love so it's like love me love me it's like all love songs on Spotify. Damn. Are you enjoying Pandora radio? It's like no. No. No. No. Then on the bar they've projected a video with a projector on the white wall and the projected video is a loop of Paris with the Eiffel Tower. Now that's classy. That's classy. I got a picture next to it. That's classy. You're going to die. I look kind of potted out but but the oh my god that's so elegant. That's crazy. Overflow room. But you know what though the food was really good and this is where it turned around I was like okay whatever. Where is it? It was in Hollywood. I got drinks and I was like yeah I'll have the watermelon martini. That sounds kind of fancy. I don't want to feel like a huge alky. Yeah. But when you drink at gay bars these straight people drinks. This Capri Sun that was stored with hand sanitizer like it ain't nothing. There's no booze in here. Oh right right right. So for the second round he comes back and he goes did you want to get another one? So do you have anything with more alcohol? And the server was like some martini. I was like not where I'm from bitch. Yeah hello. It's out. Oh you don't taste that? This is 100% watermelon zero percent martini baby. That's crazy. But then truffle fries that blew my tits on it. No okay what are truffles? I don't know what a truffle is. I don't need it. It's not important. Okay. I think it's chocolate. No it's not. It's like a mushroom or something. It's a mushroom. Yeah. Fungi. But I think that it gets turned into a spice. Okay. Like I don't think they're throwing mushrooms on your fries. No I don't think so either. I think they season it with truffle oil. Yeah maybe that. Truffle oil. Underground fungus. Underground fungus. Right. Fierce. So that's what the proctologist just scraped off underground fungus. So then they bring out I go well we kind of ate a late lunch but we're going to see a play. I didn't know I was going to play was a surprise. Okay. Um three vegan sliders. Horny. What were were they? Tiny vegan sliders like in cheese beginners. Yeah little mini cheeseburgers are all vegan. Delicious. The buttery stunning warm hot. The little fake meat was like crispy. The bun was like warm and toasted in the cheese with melty. Girl. Fierce. Amazing. So then I went to see the book of Mormon at the Pantages Theater. Oh yeah. And they had you not seen it before? I've never seen it. Oh my god. It's so good. It was great. It's so good. It's a beautiful music laughing. I love the message. Yeah. Very much makes fun of Mormonism but really all religion. I don't think it does. I think it was a very uh reverent in fact but it also kind of shows weirdly the good that religion can bring when the guy starts just making up stories and then the people become very positive. I'm like okay sure. Yeah. Um I loved it. It was great. Love the singing but something happened to the Pantages that I'm not sure if I can bring up because I don't want to be banned from the Pantages because I'm trying to see Phantom of the Opera in October. Were you vaping? No, no, bobert. I was boberted. Fully boberted. Yeah. Um it was me and Pampani and we had a bong. We were taking rips off a bong. Um by the way that last episode I said let's put the pipe up to my pussy and Kui Fata crack cloud. I couldn't believe that that was in the episode. That's why I got age restricted. The top comment was like Kui Fata crack cloud. I said who said that? Wait refrigerators. I was like who said that? I was like oh me shit Kui Fata crack cloud. Um so we get there and luckily I have time to pee. My boyfriend gets in line for snacks. I said you know I can't see anything without a snack and a drink. So we're gonna get um I took uh Took a half an edible. So it's like, I don't need marijuana. I don't need a drink. I'm just gonna have one little glass. I don't need alcohol. Just gonna have a glass of wine. Whatever that is, right? I'm not, I don't need alcohol, just have a glass of wine. You know, if I see my big factory quetting, which is like your vegetarian, I'll make you lamb. Like is that? So we go up there and we get, oh my god, they have red vines. I love red vines. And my boyfriend don't like chocolate. So I was like, I would get raisinets. Love raisinets. But I'm gonna get red vines for the team. Go to go in the theater that there are no food and snacks in the theater. So you said they sell what they sell snacks popcorn candy. You can't eat it there. It's to take home. So I go into the theater and I just sit holding my holding my red vines like this like an NPC in a video game the whole play. And then during during intermission, I went outside the theater to eat some licorice. That is, I just think it's crazy to sell it. And then you can't eat it. And I was like, maybe I'm just white trash. I don't know how things work. No, no, that's that is extremely bizarre. And maybe it's for crinkling because of acting. They don't fucking sell it. They don't sell it. They should make movie theater snacks and quiet packaging. Um, they should just fall from the ceiling. A beer helmet. Yeah, it's like Eminem's in it. Yeah, I just was kind of in shock. That's crazy. That's insane. What would you do? I would not purchase it. I would have to I would have to eat it though. But then I thought maybe it was like a semantics thing of like what they're saying is eat it extremely quietly. Discreetly. Maybe that's what this is. I think maybe that's what it is. Are they going to throw you out? I would do that. By the way, I would I would for once in my lifetime, I would close my mouth when I chew. Yeah. Yeah. But I I drove I remember what I did on Valentine's Day. I drove to the studio, the new studio that me and Andrew have. And I was mad as hell. And because I couldn't find parking and I like drove past this long ass line, it was like Janet Jackson must be doing a record signing or something like that. It was like five blocks. I swear to God. It was bagels. People were on an an interminable lineup outside for bagels. I mean, I love bagels. I love bagels. I want one right now. I'm not really willing to like wait an hour and 15 minutes outside for one. What do you get on the bagel? I mean, I it's very it's very ho hum. It's just butter. Everything big. Everything bagel toasted with butter. That's it. I can't eat cream cheese. I think it's disgusting. I like I get the vegan cream cheese and that's less weird for me. I like butter, but nobody ever but like I do love like a raisin bagel with butter. Yeah. I love it. Or I like strawberry cream cheese sometimes. Yeah, I wish I liked cream cheese. I was lamenting the fact that I am such a picky eater and I wish it wasn't that way. Cream cheese makes me think of like maybe it's my age. It makes me think of like commercials about like women being like I shouldn't have that it's bad. Like that I'm so bad because all the ads were about how it's like less fat. So I think cream cheese is probably pretty bad for you because the ads are about this one's less bad. Yeah, who knows. But I know it's bad. It's waiting outside for two hours for bagels. Get a life. How good could they possibly be? I guess they're really good. The only lines I see now are I always see a line that's a line it's a cream. Well, that's for a product that makes sense. That's for a once in a lifetime product. That's like, you know, I can't understand that retail situation, but something that you just have to you just have to eat two hours later after that. And then gay bar like if you go through West Hollywood and Saturday, there's lines like the Abbey and stuff love lines. Yeah, what's I don't do line ups. I don't like lines. I really don't like waiting in line. I'll often I'll go somewhere and they'll just leave. One time I was a Heidi in closet and we went to the back of the line because I was like, I'm not cutting. No, I can't. I can't. I know I can't do that either. Then she brought me to the front and I was like, I'm Heidi. We're cutting. Yeah, that's how we cut. Yeah. But what I'm not going to do is go to the front and in front of 70 or 80. He said, no one cares, Baldi, get back and then what you have to leave the gay community, humiliation, you have to leave the gay community. You have to be you have to turn straight be a Mormon. Yeah, move to Utah. I just the fear of like in a movie where you not not okay to be let in. I hate it. I hate it. Public humiliation. It's the worst. Fearful. Fearful. But there's the taco place across the street from the studio on Taco Tuesday, baby. Four tacos for $7. And you go in. I go, I go in and I just I fucking. They're so delicious. They're so full. They're so lovely and they're so cheap. I can't get enough of them. Seven dollars. Yeah. Taco Tuesday, baby. My horny place is love. I eat the cantina over in Franklin Village. Franklin Village. Girl. How much are they though? Expensive. Seven. One for one taco. Yeah. Well, is that expensive? Well, I mean, I get four for seven. Seven for one taco is really. That's a lot. Have you tried paying people a livable wage? Oh, oh, oh, I wonder why I want to ask poll the listeners. I guess I would you buy the shirt? He drought. Does that make sense? I would. Yeah. This one. And then the other one was, um, the Game of Thrones telltrixie. I wonder, no, no, it was, it was me. You have to, it's like a Game of Thrones reference. You have to know that. Are you going to sell these? I kind of want to. I really think you should. Yeah. Why don't you do limited runs? You could do it. Yeah. Only a hundred or two. Yeah. I think I'm just going to bring them on the road. You know, just physical merchandise. And then no, does that make sense? Yeah. No, like, um, you know, just bring them around. He drowned. Yeah. When I die and they talk about who died and they get up there and they say, we're here to honor the life of George and Hazel Pinkering. That clip of her where she says, I don't remember. She tells this person. You're being haunted by a George and Hazel Pinkering. And the woman goes, well, it's a new house. She goes, the land, honey, the land, the land. She's so quick on her finger. You got to be when you're a girl. I be at my house. High as hell. And I'll be watching this is I'll just say George and Hazel Pinkering, like I'm talking to the ghosts in my house Orlando Orlando Orlando. Do we have an Orlando here? He's here. He's here. God damn it. Autumn sunrise. That, um, well, you know what I watched the other day too. What? Now I had an MRI last year. And in the MRI, they let me watch an Netflix movie. So I said, when are you turn on that Ashley medicine documentary was good. I'm just trying to actually medicine. So then a year ago, I watched part one last week. I watched part two, three. I needed time. Okay. So I watched part two and three. And they talked about this company that created this. The people has created this company Ashley Madison where people don't know you sign up. And it's a website intended for you to be able to meet somebody to do adultery with. Yeah. And so so many men signed up. Yeah. So many men signed up they had a data breach where all of the names of people who've signed up got leaked. Do you know what this? I don't even remember. Of course it's like how God's so funny. Like one of the people they mainly interviewed was like this YouTuber who was like a daddy influencer with his Christian family. Beers he got found on there. And first he made an apology for I just made it accounted and do anything. And then later had to tell his wife never mind. I've been at massage prologue for a year getting it jorked jorked. They jorked my penis off. Yeah. So then they talked about all the politicians and stuff around. And then this one woman. She was like, I love my husband. I just like found. I found out about it because I didn't even ask for medicine was I just like found out about it because came home and he was in the car in the garage and kill himself because that is work. They found out he had an account. And they made him retire. And then he knew he had to tell me and he just often self. So one of the things they talked about was like with a data breach that big. The danger that some people put are with their men, you know, might not be in a mental state to deal with something like that. So it was like obviously parts of it are salacious because it's about cheating. Yeah, parts of it were like, oh my God. And then they obviously alleged that actually medicine didn't take the steps to make sure that their users data was actually safe. The other thing they talked about was like. The women they thought they were talking to they made it sound like it was like a 60 40 ratio women in the website. You think 40% of women are looking for an affair. I don't believe that is true. So that's something they talked about too is like former employees are like, I mean, there were bots. Yeah, or yeah, you know, yeah, do you remember when I talked about that documentary about the jerkin off class where they had employees get up there and get fingered. You also got to watch that girl. What is that? Is that next to him? No, it was like it was orgasm ink. Not orgasm. Girl orgasm. But the Ashley Madison doc was really interesting. Dark sided. The F.A.G.s are hurting. Yeah, but the straight people are. Everybody's hurting. That's a straight people website. There's not gay. Ashley Madison. No, that's just called it being gay. Yeah. You know, open relationship. Shall we read some reviews? Oh my God. Obviously we have to read some we have to some pulse pounding reviews from the critics. Is there a dragon called Ashley Madison? That's a fun drag name. It is. Get sued. No, no. No, the girls get sued. No, really? Lexi love from Drag Race has problems with her name. Why? Why? There's another entertainer named Lexi love who's suing her. Oh, that makes sense. But I mean, if you're like that, I could see that because you're like creeping on your you creeping on your search terms or whatever. I mean, I'm surprised that Yalena's amological hasn't assassinated me. Mattel. I know. I know. But there's like, I have that woman's last name, you know, and I'm creeping you be. Like that's a candy. I know, but that's crazy. Like we're all in danger of North Garden. Right. Patagonia is suing Patagonia. That person who does activism for a living. Yeah, I could see that. But what is she acting against? That's the thing. I don't even think she's a poor, poor profit artist. I think she's like flat out a philanthropist. What are you going to do? to the Earth, the land, the land, the land. Ladies, ladies, you are so hilarious. I'm starting with your first episode and you're such a great pair with a great podcast. I'm just laughing up worrisley. I can't say I know much about the gay or drag scene. Straight 65 year old grandma here. That's right. But I'm hooked on y'all, looking forward to listening to all your podcasts and catching up on current episodes. Love you both, Teresa in Missouri. I was gonna say, I'm 65 years old and then straight, I was like, "Is this my mom?" She would never listen. (laughs) Thanks Teresa. Teresa in Missouri. Love, love, love. Trixie and Cotter are one of my favorite ways to boost my serotonin. Are we a medically. I guess we're like a medicine commercial. Which might as well be like. Merk, Merk Pharmacy. Two old people on mountain bikes talking about side effects. Yeah, Trixie and Cotter may cause blindness. I do think people who listen to us, the side effect is they go to work and they like. They do. They say things like the land, and the land, and no one knows what they're talking about. Not that we invent these things. No. But our rattles become their rattles and then they're standing there at staples with their shift lead. And they say something. A nasal pink limit. They say jork in your penis or something. Love them on YouTube, love their books, love their podcast. Great. That's the kind of love that I want. Me too. Let's see. Oh, my favorite duo. Honorable mention to whoever lets out a cackle in the background every so often. They make me laugh out loud. They normally. Hate Tracy. Yeah. The comments are like, I hate that girl who laughs. Hate that bitch. Tell her shut up. Put a. Put a boot in her mouth. Like when you. They listen to the pod. They listen like this. Yeah. Not. But when Tracy. Curl again. Tracy has joy. They're like this fucking bitch. That fucking. That mirthful bitch. Shut her up. Well, when you say that, you're silencing a queer. A queer Mexican. Thank you. A lesbian Mexican. Woman. Latinx lesbian. In fact, she should have. She should have a megaphone that whenever she laughs, the car battery hooked up to mind a wired nipples, fries them into outer space. George and Hazel. Pinker. Okay. Bye. Bye. [BLANK_AUDIO]