A Freshly-Peeled Lease on Life with Trixie and Katya

We're talking about Maria Bamford. Maria Bamford is probably, you know, I was just talking to my friend Mallory who introduced me on the way, on the way here is talking to Mallory. She introduced me to Maria Bamford special special special special special. I could not believe I was like, I could not believe it her parents like politely laughing the whole time. Like, it was crazy. That is what inspired when I did the one night only during like COVID times. Yeah. It is so, so brilliant. She's so, she's like the best comedian. She's amazing. And you know, have you ever listened to Dana Gold? I think so. I feel like they have a similar, if you ever in a grocery store of comics, they'd be in the same aisle. Gosh, let's say he's so funny too. It's so absurd in wild and love Maria and that work mix that I do that like nine to five. She worked hard for the money mix. There's a bunch of Maria in there because she has all those sections about work. Okay, for example, I really like the way your peach poly weave sweatshirt comes up already edge of your that one. Why don't you come into my cubicle. I got that one in there and I got a girlfriend. Hey, hey. There's going to be really fun party tonight and it's going to be some really cute guys. You're going to meet at the door, park their cars, take their coats and speak only with spoken to. Yes, yes, I have because I was like, she's that she talks so much about like work. I was like, I got to put her in here. And her voice like for a gay bar environment cuts through because yes, kind of like that high frequency voice Maria. Yes, yeah, yeah. So like in a mix, she just cuts through it totally great. Maria, if you ever want to quit stand up, you should just do voiceover for drag queen lip sinks. How about that? Well, she also does voiceover for like a million cartoons. Yes, she does love Maria. Shout out to Maria. I was I had to show my friends. You never lift up women. This is huge. Hard left rebrand. I've pivoted from total misogyny. I think 2026 is about not feminism, right? Certainly not. You're going to support her, but you're going to call her like Marina Bradford or something. Marina Bradford. And then I'm going to I'm going to send her a death threat or something. Right. I'm going to know. No, I had to I had to I had to listen to the Paula Dean suicide note recipe. Oh, it's so good. It's just so good. And then I had to listen to lady's ladies when we're dating. We have a system. We're doing. I'm obsessed. And it's just the hurt. Oh God, her like I can't feel my hands. Yeah, yeah, it's like so good. I'm empty inside. I can't feel my hands. Wait, was she the one is also loving. She sing or the land of the free. I'm trapped. Love that shit. What is that? I'm one of thoughts on one. Yeah. I'm one of the ones with her with her dogs on the floor. It's called road show at the end. And it's it's so funny. She's like, did you like 20% Yeah, I love everything. I was baby. I love saturation point, which talks about fighting with her husband. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I liked old baby. Love old baby. Lady dynamite was I cannot believe Lady dynamite was made. That show was, but man, I think that was the last thing Netflix took a chance on. I mean, not lovingly. It was like the last truly out there piece. Yeah. Now they're doing bone like I wish if it was up to me, Netflix would become you say lady dynamite. And that's all we get. Yeah, yeah. I think this is open to everyone's news. Netflix is opening pods on the platform. Like how you might watch ball in the beautiful on YouTube. You're not going to be able to watch. Let's say Caleb here and show a few signs of Netflix. You'll be able to watch it on the app. Right. We get any money. I think it's in the trades by the trades. I mean something that people screen shot me Gotcha. Do we get money? No, we're not on it great. It's our show is free range. Just gee a gun. Have a family of other guns. Like I just, is she pro gone? What is my daughter confetti and my sister water? You don't mean like my daughter. This is my brother Glock in my sister. This is my son 10-year-old. Desert Eagle. You know, Desert Eagle. What's that? 50 caliber handgun. Oh, we got new headphones. Beretta. That's a girl's name. In what neighborhood girl? The gun neighborhood. I'm talking about guns. It's a bread gun. It's a beretta confetti gun. Water gun. Squirt gun. Oh, James gun. Dear guns porn studio. Squirt gun. Hell yeah. No, I squirt gun. The dolls are the dolls. The dolls are wet. I've seen that bitch on TikTok live all the time. Okay, I don't go on TikTok. Is she shaking her titties and showing her pussy? No, she always looks great. She's got the good front lighting. She really is quite beautiful. And she just talks to what I perceive to be other people alive. They just talk. I did catch a glimpse of maybe I'm remembering this wrong. But she was asked, which do you like better me or you? And then she said, I like them both equally. Oh, I don't like her too. I like her too. She's, I mean, she's iconic. She's iconic. I cannot believe. I mean, I'll never forget her looking over to me the non-sequiter. Do you believe in milk and cookies? Maybe it wasn't non-sequiter. Maybe you don't know what it means. Maybe it's. Is that a street drug? No. It was it was apropos of nothing. We're silent in the in the taxi for like five minutes. She's like, can't do you believe in milk and cookies? Let's take a break. And you just got out of the car. It just dropped and rolled down Brazil. We need to normalize jumping out of cars on the freeway. Let's have that conversation. Hope this helps. Yeah, drag isn't dangerous. We're getting dragged is dangerous dragged by a semi. Oh, that's not, wait, I have a snack. What? Okay. Or the land. Wait, this is the greatest job in the world in the greatest country in the world. Oh, say, can you see? Pop rocks. No, no, no. Oh, okay. So this is not an app. This is not a paid out. Oh, this is not a paid out. Okay, we do ads with thrive, right? They send fabulous snacks. This is so delicious. Okay, can we all natural and 50 calories? I tried it last night and I was like, what when is it? Okay, they're called organic fruit circles. Super sunny strawberry made with mango apple strawberry and natural flavors. Peel and eat fruit leather. Don't let that. My mouth is watering. The whole pack is 50 calories. That is not a selling point for me. I was 500 calories. Well, those of us who on a molecular level are living hoarders buried alive. We need to operate in a calorie deficit. Your nails done. It's really funny to walk around and tell people who use hair nails done. You didn't still wet in their journey. I brought literally brought this from home for you to try. Okay, so it kind of unrolls. But it's good girl. They're delicious. Let their for the listeners on the 101. This looks like a sheet of dookies. No, it looks like condoms like condoms when they used to come in the sheet. It looks like shit condoms that they sell in Germany at the clubs. It's all natural. RFK doesn't want us putting color and stuff. Pretty good, right? I mean, it's health food. You don't like it? I don't want to chew because they'll get mad at me. Oh, the verdict. Love it. They're good, right? Yeah. I'll take half. I'll take half of those. Yeah. I tried it last night. It's body of Christ. Body of Christ. I just love it. There could be, um, oh my god. This should be so much. You can have a lot of fun with these. A lot of fun with these. I was just in shoddy of Christ. You could do communion of role play. You could also do, um, um, barely any sugars, coins over the eyes. All natural. All the ingredients are just fruit. Yeah. Anyway, you know, thrive market. I don't know. Not enough in here. Well, they're 50 calories. They're for people trying to, you know, kind of snack on the safe side. And you know, for somebody like me, I'm going to be snacking. So this is needle exchange. This is harm reduction. This is just anything. You know what I mean? Because when I take that edible and walk into my kitchen, it's it's it's it's it's it's I want the world. I want the whole world. He's got the whole kitchen in his mouth. I really want to if it was gene wilder and it was only one child and that child was it was a fat kind. That's me snacking. Okay. That's it. You don't make a lot of snack devices in your life. Girl, I be snack or facing left and right. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. I got to tell you about something. That I love. Okay. It's a movie. Have you seen Predator Badlands? I hope we didn't talk about this. Please tell me we didn't talk about this. Predator bad. Predator. So Predator. You're familiar with the Predator franchise. Oh. I'm trapped. Wait, um, what is what is she saying when she's like, um, I'm empty inside. Wait, no, it's something. I don't feel good. I don't feel good. Yeah, it's like, um, I'm empty inside of my house. Yeah, yeah. Um, uh, uh, it's like, when, uh, men are from Mars, women are from, uh, whatever who cares. Okay. Um, I mean, I tried men are from Mars. I don't feel good. Yeah. Men are from Mars and women want their penis. I don't, um, am I right? I don't feel good or something. That's what it is. Yeah. She's so damn. She's really good. Again, I'm going to say it again. I'm saying it. again. If you haven't watched any of her specials, go do it now. Especially Road Show, just look it up on iTunes or Spotify or whatever, and you will get your life. She came to one of my shows at Ireland or something. It was my first show back after COVID. I hadn't been in drag on stage since the beginning of COVID, because I didn't do car stand-up. I remember when all the comics were at the parking lots? Well, we saw that drag show. Do you know what I think it was probably like? It was probably like doing a show for like Stephen King, Christine, like all these cars as people, Pixar cars? Do you know what I mean? I don't. The cars were the people in the audience, but I think when they were later, they like flash the lights are hot. I don't know what they were. They weren't on the roofs of the car. They were inside the car. They were driving the cars. No, that's not for me. I've been to a drive-in. I went to a double feature of "Sounds of Lambs" and then "Red Dragon." And I saw Alaska there. This was like a few years ago. And I learned that sitting in a car wasn't for me. Well, it depends on what kind of car you got. Because we can sit at home. We sure can, but then you're not part of an outside automotive community. But we're not outside the car. And also, is this pleasant villain? We're necking. I get it. You've got to have someone to neck. You've got to have tons of snacks in the trunk. You've got to have a huge bottle of whiskey. And then you've got to do some crime. And it was a huge line for food. That really is hard for me too. You can load up that trunk with snacks. I want to cut the line at any food place and turn to the whole line and go, "I'm hungry." If I don't need, I'll die. Do you want blood in your hands? Went to my rheumatologist yesterday. He goes, "Get in a little weight." And I hadn't. It smells like rheumatology. I think it's the study of immune systems. Oh, okay. I think, I don't know. It's not awful. I go to see her all the time, don't even know what she does. Her immune condition. That's it. Like arthritis. She was like, "Keep her in a little weight." I was like, But she was like, I feel like when you, she was like, "Then you start out?" She was like, "You were like 170?" And I was like, "Yeah, when I first came here, when I was like very ill." And then time was elapsed and it got a little better. Yeah, no, you look healthy. She didn't mean it shady. No, of course, but my ears can't hear that, right? What's the, what's the unalive version of that? Like you don't say kill, just say, "I don't live." You fat. So you're less light. So you blow up your fatty? No, no, no, no. So you, um, oh, I see what you mean. So you're less small. No, what's like the euphemism? Oh gosh. So, um, I don't know. It's like, so, um, there were pounds that were added. So things are different now. Things are different now, yeah. So, um, experimenting with a different shape. Right, yeah. You're kind of one of those suitcases where there's that second zipper where it can expand. That's me, baby. Do you know the good ear blimp? Yeah. That's kind of like you. It's like, no. Do you really feel, uh, well, I mean, no, no. I think you look great, but that doesn't mean it. Thank you. That's, that's not what I was fishing for. That's all that matters. 2026, we're not gonna have adversarial relationships with our own bodies. Get over it. Not get over it, but get over it. Get over it. Yeah, get over it. Stop the insanity. Get over it. Uh, uh, uh, grease up a watermelon. Throw it in the pool. That's the same as the dearest. Okay, predators. Mary. What's going on? Andrew's best friend, L fanning. So, um, this motherfucker, this bitch, this woman. Excuse me. This lovely young lady. She yanked this off so bad. So, the, the movie takes place, um, it, it stars a predator. So, it's the first kind of, like, one of these movies that takes, like, the main character is an actual predator. He's not the villain. So, it starts off on the, the predator's planet. Crazy things going on. Like, the dad is trying to, the brother is trying to kill him. And because they called their weak, so they fight. And they, you know, if your weak, you get killed. Oh, yeah, vicious. Do you think this is a part of the predator franchise? Okay. I watched the Native American one. Pray. I watched that. Do you love it? I loved it. I loved it. I had no idea it was going to be a predator movie. Yeah, me neither. This is the same, same director I think. Or is it, yeah. Could you look in the camera and say that you love predator? I love predators, especially. Right. The movie is not sexual. So, anyways, the, Mary, the world building, the VFX, like, an outfanting plays a synthetic robot. Queen. I fucking love outfanting, though. Girl, Misfanting takes this role and she, she just wraps it around everybody's testies until they turn blue and then she kicks them. I'm so fucking wet for her and Hunger Games. She's playing a young F.E. Trinket. Fabulous. We'll get this. She, why have one? We can have two twice the price. She plays two cents in this one. The, uh, Antessa. And one of them is the first one shows she's only got half a body, a torso. For most of the first part of the movie and the predator carries her around, like a backpack. Conti. Because she knows how to like, they create, he crashed lands on this planet that is so fucking dangerous. Mary, it's so stressful. Every moment someone's trying to kill him is called predator. How do I look it up at home, predator, what? Predator Badlands. Badlands. Okay, I'm going to watch it. Mary, it is pulse pounding action from start to finish and I cried. Oh great. Once we get into, because the, so her name is Thea, the, the synth. And L-fanning is like, oh, you know, uh, Tessa, she's, she's going to come back for me. Or she, she's hoping she's not dead. But she gets reprogrammed and she turns a little evil. And ooh girl, she like does the parent trap acting with herself thing and it's conti. I can't believe that he is, this is how you know I'm not a real actor. She's, well, what do you mean? Like, when people play a twin and talk to themselves, the way I could never, I can barely learn lines for one person. Absolutely could. You just do Swedish. Oh my god, one of my dream, remember, when we were doing Tricson County alive, one of my dreams was to do a swap night where we do each other's parts. Could we try it right now? No, I don't remember any of it. I don't think I do either. Yeah. No, wait, I'd be like, well, we're doing a good job already. No, no, no, no, no. Hello, killed it. Really killed it. That's you. Yeah, that is me. Yes. Welcome to the Tricsie and Katja, something, something spectacular. Oh, and then Stephanie, then you get the card. Welcome to the, to the poopy and the peepee and the, yeah, it's sad. Has beens, where has beens. Never worse. They got to keep us off the road. I just listened to this pod that are pod today. And I was saying, I miss doing that tour. And everyone in this room booed me. We booed you out of the room. And I was in the car going, shut up. Like I was like, what are you talking about? She's having a food. Faggot sitting your chair, talk to your friend and go home. Faggot, put your fucking lobster bib on and just crack those shells. The plastic lobster bibs, let's say, let's get crack in. That's sick. And you know what they be calling crayfish? Mud bugs. Is that right? Mud bugs. Crud ads. Crud ad buds. I think in the South, they call them mud bugs. That's disgusting. That is truly vile. Well, they should call them lobsters. They should call them water rats. Do you like, you know, even in live in a Boston, you didn't do like, I mean, you should try. I don't like any seafood is sick. I think seafood is mostly disgusting. I will fuck with a lovely prepared salmon though. And also, how much of the world is water? Leave them alone. We don't need to be eating them. Wait, is that xenophobic? I was on xenophobic. It's just that many of many cultures do like rely. Bright, you know, I've got countries inside. But also, I'm a vegetarian. So I'm like, leave all the animals alone. Yeah. Eat the fruit, fruit, the fruit leather. Give me, there was brown dots. Give me my brown dots. This, can I tell you? This is exact size. Can you wait and color my nipple? Can I, I'm telling you, my nipple covers. You want to like avoid censorship? Under your brown dress. Your, your sheer brown dress when you go to the Golden Globes. Thank you. Yeah. Oh my god. Yesterday we filmed a video for my YouTube channel where we look at all your drag looks from drag race. Really educational, really fun. Did you get my little note? Yes, I did. Okay, I noticed this through line. I said, I didn't know last. I do something where she had words being spelled out on her. That was on drag race? No, um, what do you mean? Like in the world? Was she doing like one letter a day? Yes, yes, yes, she was. Her name, her name. Her name. Oh, just in case you forget it, I don't know. Right. She had a lot of, she was very, yeah, anyways. Well, the, the, the truth is she's unforgettable. Who would forget Alaska? Certainly nobody who was on that season. I'll tell you that much. And also, I was, when I was thinking about you doing that critique, I was like, oh man, I was like, what's my worst? What's my least favorite outfit? I was like, oh, there are some real stinkers. Yeah, it's like half and half. We talked about it in the video. It's like, it's possible to critique this drag and really like that person's drag and like them and think they're amazing. We can talk about these clothes explicitly and that's okay. Of course. H&M Prairie dresses with black jelly sandals. Let's talk about this. Oh, this is that I love as a performance outfit. That wasn't a runway outfit. You know, that was like a cherry, that was the cherry bomb outfit. Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't count that as a, as a look. I wouldn't count it as a look either, honestly. I mean, I, the way that I was able to dodge so many bullets. Well, um, yeah. I mean, my future drag horrible. My, um, Princess Diana Rodden. And your final look crazy. Oh, just so bad. You know, I would. I've done my future of drag when if I had um, oh I really, really know what I would do. I really know what I would do, Gell. I really know. Let's take a break. I would, I would, I would really do a nice job. Okay. We'd be like next time. Yeah, yeah. We can't have diverse, um, Kuwait or whatever they're doing now, like, yeah, Laos versus Bangladesh. Yeah. Yeah. Like Cleveland versus Pittsburgh or whatever. Liberia versus Paduca versus the world, Chattka versus like, they needed to rebrand that. We don't need to be encouraging international conflict in this, our year, 2026. Thank you very much. Why can't we work together? We're already doing USA versus the world in the world. Thank you. Thank you. How about, how about USA plus the world? Thank inclusive. Thank you. I love the world. Love it. If you can't love the USA, how are you going to love the world? Now drive that down to Thea Richie Boulevard. Yeah. Um, what was your favorite look of mine? Oh, well, you have to watch the video and find out. I'm not going to watch it. I don't have you to pray. You don't have to. Oh, I mean, um, there, there were some great ones, honestly. Do you read your wrote you look? I was like, this is peak. Katiya. It's like a lot of coverage. The body looks great. We could have been a little fuller. Of course. Yeah. After the Burk Hogan wig, after seeing a black finger wave wig three times, I was just happy that we were kind of expanding up and outward. And those vanity laces sure did, they, oh man, that drag race lighting in those vanity laces. Oh, yeah. But, um, I really liked my, um, I borrowed a lot of shit. I really liked my, uh, I really liked my like very, I know it's kind of casual for a look, but like the eighties jacket with the shorts and the, and the things for the standup comedy challenge. I love that. I love that. I love that. It's really pretty. The only thing I like was the necklace. Oh, I don't remember the neck. I was like, we're in long hair with a full collar with the necklace. We have no neck. I like. I would have liked more of like, just, uh, but the necklace, um, the necklace. The only thing I, of course, we won't, well, one last thing. I loved the mucleard look. The only thing I really regret not doing is, um, attaching the stirrups underneath. Oh, sure. That was a big, um, that's all I see when I look at that look now, uh, the, the baggy pants because they, they should be a little more, not so, not so baggy. For the mucleard. Yeah. For the mucleard. God, I love that look. I felt so pussy. I knew it was so ugly. And RuPaul's like, this is so wrong. It's so ugly. It's great. Anyways. Nothing about me. I don't know if about you. Thank God. What do you kind of shirt you got on today? Oh. Oh, I just shoved a new cup. A little pussy. Yeah. A little, maybe a little too, um, on the nose. Considering current events. Oh. But listen, I, I, I volunteer as tribute if we're going to go into World War III with nuclear weapons. Shub one right up in this pussy. It could happen. Are you watching Fallout? I already watched it. I watched it years ago. Well, it's season two now. So is it, it's a series and so it continues. Get the fuck out of who? Why did you tell me like episode five? But I've been replaying. Tell me how it is. It began because I know where it left off. Okay. So it starts with those same people kind of continuing the story from season one. Okay. Can you be more. But they're going to new Vegas. Can you be more specific? They're going to new Vegas, which is like basically spoiler in the second season. They find out that like there was enough power in Vegas that when the bombs dropped, Vegas was protected. So the person who was rich enough to basically control Vegas, protected Vegas and Vegas is now like this thriving economy of like building still standing and stuff. And so they're going there because ultimately they're looking for the ghoul looking for his wife and his son. Of course. Daughter. Daughter? Daughter. Yeah. So while I'm not sure what's going to happen, I mean, I'm replaying Fallout 4. I've played it like three times and I've played new Vegas three times and I've played six. Fallout three twice. But Fallout four is in Boston, which I love. Oh, really? It's so Boston. There's a Boston comments. Oh, my God. Is the public gardens? Is there Bay Village? Yes, all of it. Does they can bridge Lexington? Lexington. Is there Lexington? Absolutely. That's the suburb. It's, it's not Boston, but yeah. Oh, yes. And some of it, it's like, let's say it's not the Wang theater. It'll be like the wing theater like for, for, for a couple of reasons, I think it's not the same thing. The Ernie Bonk Jr. Yeah. And neighborhoods are all abbreviated, obviously, but like it looks so much like Boston. It's crazy. And I'm playing through it. And I have a really hard time. I know that video games are fake. I know these people aren't real. But in any game where you could be bad or good, I can't be bad. I can't shoot and kill people. I'm always trying to minima. I'm such a me in the game. I'm trying to like, can we all just de-escalate the situation where I like, I feel like there's a wonderful. But I feel like you should play video games and be a whole new person. Like you could be really sweet in the real world and then be like, oh yeah, give me your mind. And besides all your, all your, my aggression, you know, I did that in the car by running people over. Right. No, no, no. I mean, that's a really good point. Do you think that it's, I don't think I have a hard time. I like, we'll turn off the game and feel bad about who I killed in the game. What is that? I don't think it's a very, I don't think it's a probably, my guess not an effective way to cope with aggression. Not a good outlet. No, I mean, I, I think for me, it satiates the feeling of like finishing a game always feels like finishing a puzzle. Yeah. I'm, I'm slowly putting something back in order. I like that. And in the game, I forgot about this, but in the beginning of the game, there's no nuclear blast. And then the bombs are coming. So you run to a shelter, you and your wife and your wife with your baby. You go, you pause to go to sleep. You can be the girl and have a husband, but no gay because they have a baby. How would they have a baby? I think it's a joke. Thanks, woke. Back in my day, it was me, it was we and she, what does it mean? It was we she and Kathy Lee. Yep. None of this, what is mistress call it? None of this he she we the she I don't know. He she they yeah, he she the he she we the day then vegetarians. That's what she says. So the game starts with you going into your sleep pod to wait for after the blast. Okay. You wake up early and your wife's pod gets snatched up and you get shot pop point blank and they steal your baby. So the whole game is you trying to find your baby. My baby baby. This shot my wife and took my baby. And one of the things they talk about in the game is took my baby. So one of the factions right in these games is like all these different people you can help or not help or whatever. This is an ethical question in the game since which are like. Fake people, robots that are so realistic that they don't even know that they're fake. Yeah. That's the same thing. But they're not born. But there's synthetic people like built so real. In the game, it's like the ethics of like, are these machines? Are they people? Do we have a right to like abduct them and wait their memory, et cetera? Or are these people? They're not people. I I guess I would be some person who's like, don't talk down to my air fryer. I guess I like have too much. Well, I don't think that I think that for example, if my mom and a synth are in the burning building, I'm getting the signal. Yeah. No, but like, what if your mom's a synth? My mom is not a synth because my mom is what if she is, okay, so that's not possible in this world. What if you are? What if you found out you were? Oh, well, then that's different. Would you want people to like, I'm stuck to you and wipe your brain? Or would you want, would you feel like, hey, because I feel like I'm a person. I have rights. That's a different. I was, I thought you were talking about how we view the other as a synth, but you're talking about if you become aware because these synths don't even, they're so realistic. They don't even know that they're robots. Right. Well, then that's a whole, that's another fun. That's kind of a drum. Like people are getting abducted, let's say by this, by the institute, it's called. They're abducting you because let's say they want to use your body for science for sex. No. No. And they replace you with a version of you so real that no one knows. And you yourself, the synth of you, thinks it's been you the whole time. It's like that infinity pull moving. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think, well, whatever, real or not, I'm not, I'm not gripping that synth. I'm not beating that synth up. I'm taking that synth to a nice steak dinner. Right. Maybe I have to eat the whole thing. Maybe she doesn't eat anything. I'm getting some Martin Ellis and we're going to go home and watch. Yeah. She's going to get some Castro's Sintek motor oil in a nice little martini glass. So I'll have a, um, a, a, a virgin daiquiri and then, you know, right. You got to watch, you got to watch Predator Badland. I'm going to watch it. You got to catch up on follow up then. Are you kidding me? I'm going to go fucking go now to that shit's night. Well, I'm in my arthritis. It's been really bad. So I've been playing real quick six to eight hours a night of video games, probably real like a crazy person. Wait, wait. Is that bad? I mean, I would imagine maybe like, I mean, if I exercise first in the morning and I work all day, I'm like, who cares what I do? If you lay to watch TV for eight hours, no one would say anything. But if you play video games for eight hours, people act like you're crazy. I just agree. That's an active activity. I think it's, I think TV, I think sometimes TV movies is boring. I, I mean, I agree. I don't, I don't think video games are the same thing as TV is at all. Right. Because you're, you're, you're like a literally actively, you're playing a game. Yeah. You're not just, and you're not on your phone. You're not on your phone. That's the one thing about video games that I really, really, really love. You can be on your phone and play a video game? Yeah. I mean, you could play a video game on your phone. I'm never on my phone. Honestly. Mary something bad happened to me to where I just don't use phones anymore 2026 is about not going on X anymore And I'm not talking about Twitter because I'm finally reconciled the fact that it is X right because the past few days. I've gone on there These porn no no no the The post that I've seen are so no no no it's it's just it's either vile absurdity me But like throbbing boner eroticism you no no no no like it's just a bunch of shit makes me depressed. Right. It's stupid It's it's not like world events that keep me up like up to date. It's like shitty people doing shitty things Stupid people posting stupid crap stuff. That's not true stuff that's outdated. It's all bullshit and it makes me so depressed. Right And that's what I honestly have been kind of grappling with you and I are tech I mean where are we Oh, are we content creators? I guess we are. No, no, no, no, no, no, I am at least but you're that's one of your jobs But lately I found it a lot easier if I was like on the internet all day To I don't know like lately. I put the phone down. Don't look at it all day. Yeah forget to post for days at a time Don't post anything. I'm living life. Yeah. I don't want to know about the David Beckham that Romeo Beckham and Nicola thing But I do And I'm like and I have opinions about it and I don't want to have opinions about it You know, I don't want it like it's stupid crap like that You know, we're like it's just taking up space where I could literally have just Looked out at at the sunset or like literally just jerked off right honestly anything Do you like how I'm like? Oh, I'm I'm not looking at my I'm not looking at my phone anymore I'm living my real life eight hours of video game playing. I'm I don't I don't think that's bad. I'm sorry. I think it's fun If it's fun if it makes you happy just like Miss Crow you don't know what the me that I am now wants to play video games cook my own dinner. Mm-hmm. Last centimeter. It's some delicious Delicious rice with some vegetables that I cooked in a pan This is the can of soup you better do it bitch. I loved it. You know what I did I performatively ate another salad in my kitchen mugging out to 360 to who just you know To everyone to everybody to the black mold I put it in a giant I don't got balls big enough for the salad. I like mama because when I eat a salad I'll slap bucket. It's rough. It's there's only three ingredients the baby Arugula whatever whatever spring mix and you know like the pre-made stuff and then there's about a 600 pounds of croutons and then a half a gallon of dressing right and I have to take my shirt off because it gets a little messy And I just start using my hands the dressing is the issue when I work in the restaurants and people get these salads It's boss something that's a 80% ranch. I said you pretty go lay down somewhere you fucking creature Yeah, you're about to blow ass on the way home No, I love it though ranch Can I have extra ranch? I want what I was serving when people asked for extra ranch I almost said and I knew you were gonna ask for it Because I knew you were that type of fucking person. You're fucking weird girl It's a compliment. The lettuce is not put on the soup. It's not soup It's not suit. Oh, I see what you mean. It's not it's not ranch soup with two lettuce leaves Faggot do you mean like See one more ranch here. Here's your ranch. Faggot. No, no, I don't do that I do balsamic vinaigrette And just a little I don't want wet not stopping wet salad, right? You like stopping wet Well, because there's so much crunch with my croutons love the croutons. I Oh, man, I just the other day had no had no salad. It's in bowl croutons. I swear to god I did a whole bowl of croutons with them salad dressing 80 with my fingers and I was I know is that keto have been that's keto It's Nido You know I can make you own croutons I guess I guess I I actually have but they were big and kind of you know You big, you know, it's like little garlic bread that you bake But also I've been putting saline in your balls I want to make a confession what I was supposed to go get this thing done And I'm so glad I didn't what are you talking about? You're gonna laugh. I'm gonna be so embarrassed But I'm not I'm not gonna embarrass you. I'm not gonna shame. No, I'm gonna. I'm gonna embarrass myself Shame is a landfill emotion. It's it was a procedure called Bo Cox Like whatever it does the name is an instant know like it's an instant But whatever it does sure the name is an instant know I watch this this um I was watching a show that was like commonly asked questions about this group of people right I forget what it was called But it was an episode of deaf people and deaf people were taught like people were asking questions They've been afraid to ask and this person said what's one of the barriers of being like a non-hearing person And this guy was like bow talks He was like so much of what we read is like lips and emotions It was like people who look like they're standing in headlights and their mouth is just moving and I can't tell how they feel about what they're saying I was like oh Interesting because you know people and they're using ASL a lot of times. It's expressive. Yeah, sure sure sure So they were like I could tell what they're saying, but I can't tell how they feel about it. The deaf must hate Nicole Kidman I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Just kidding. Love you. Love you Nicole. No, but I truly is the ball in the beautiful I love her so much. I love when at the paljo - yeah Julia Roberts, right. Did you you didn't watch the Grammy? I'm not the greatest you didn't see the Golden Globes. No, I know I like the word shows. I know. I don't need their But Julia Roberts got a standing ovation just for being herself. I know I said that last episode Sorry, it's okay. Well, we were nominated for an Audi We were nominated for a Golden Globe. Amy took them Amby when I'm a for an ambie award. It's a podcasting awards. What does it stand for? It's audio content I believe that's comedy pod for an ambie Congratulations, and you know after that whole Golden Globes fiasco where we didn't get an award even though we were nominated I think that somebody better give us something. Yeah, it's something better Somebody better not give me something in my dick called bowcox. Let me tell you what is it? So basically it's like it is a What it does is kind of like Makes your dick like bigger and and thicker and like also harder kind of like gives your gives you like a Makes your dick harder and bigger No, no, no, no, no, this is the company you keep. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I swear to God. It's weird. I swear to God. Some of us are people to go back Of the pookie because no, no, they just need to go running. They just need to go macro. May pottery, you know, any me flower arrangement anything Parasailing right free climbing normal sailing So we wait so it's it's an injection and then you got a pump I got to buy a penis pump and I and I had the appointments scheduled for one o'clock yesterday. What's the goal? Oh, like a so I take like Viagra quite often, you know, um, I don't have like a reptile dysfunction per se but like I just When I fuck people, I love to take It's like I have my little my little red shoes on when I go on stage You know what I mean? My little tap shoes made my tap dance, you know, you were a woman where makeup for other women It's like I'm a shepherd. Where's my little bonnet in my staff? Right, you know what I mean? Right. I look a little boat peep Right, so anyways, I mr. Potato without the shoes is just a potato. Thank you. Always saying that so It basically it's like, you know It helps with it gives you a hard big dick Right, and you you're like you like this dick and they go and they look up at you And it's just those ice blue eyes with the bloodshot whites and you said are you ready to do this? Looking truly like Freddy Krueger veins up in the eyes. No, but this wouldn't I wouldn't be taking Viagra Junior you name me or yeah, whatever. Yeah, um anyways, so I I did not want to do it Because I felt it was insane. Right and um, right it was also quite expensive, but apparently it's effective. Right Isn't needles in the penis and there's some risks to that no none course, right? But wait, but this is a doctor Right, it is not like, you know, it's not a doctor Bob from Florida. Right. This is an actual Yeah, this is not like go down to the good go to the alley and take the you know jump over the the puddle and go She'll be down under the great to go need the officer. I wish I could bake my dick like a shrinky dink sometimes Two flopped out you okay, but two flopped out you wish you could what bake it like a shrinky dink because it's too flopped out That sounds like a wonderful t-shirt. Right. Why don't you bake it like a shrinky dink because you are too flopped out You bitch, you staggery bitch too flopped out. I still don't even understand what you're talking. It's more for me Okay, just what I said and I don't know what it means Be a flopped out flopped out. It's flopped out that's flopped out and you need to what is it you need to bake it like And you get like a shrinky dink because it's too flopped out All right, try to wear in a holster like it's a gun. Thank you I've been having the only breakfast as of late because of what's the tea that it's that fucking still You know, but baby I have like a bite of the bowl is so huge and it's so nourishing. Do you get cold? No. I heated it up on the stove. I cooked a whole batch for the week and then I'd take a huge fucking clump of it, put it in the pot, heavy, or not heavy cream, light cream, fucking, you know, heat that shit up so it's nice and hot. Right. Walnuts, cranberries, blueberries, chia seeds, brown sugar. Chalua. Chalua. To A1, right. And then mayonnaise. For sure. Do you like mayonnaise? I hate it. I will never eat it. I don't care for it either. I don't like mayonnaise. I don't like cream sauce. I don't like ranch, I don't like any like French food, like Alfredo, none of that. I would. Ranch is sick. Ranch is disgusting. You know what? The cheese is also so gross. In zombie movies where they're trying to see people are infected and they like scan them and it's like infected. I want to do that with people who have had ranch. Just in general again. Oh, it looks like you had ranch when you got cheese dressing. That's still a no. I only like like a light lemony, even a grad or like a very light ball somat. Even like Mary, even a little oil and salt and pepper, well salt and pepper. You got to start making your own dressing. That's where it's at. I have. It's the move. Because bitch. It's the move. It makes the bottle shit look gross. I had my fucking art teacher in Boston, her husband is a fucking vine, owns a goddamn what do you call it? Fucking all of a steak escape? No, an olive farm or whatever. Oh. They make throwing olive oil. That's what I'm trying to say. And then they've vineured. Yes. Yeah. I thought I was like, is that what's called? I don't know. I think so. Anyways. So this incredible olive oil and then they get these like 50, you know, 50 year old bottles of fucking balsamic vinegar. You just fucking mixed that just together, a little salt and pepper on a toasted baguette. I'd be doing like, what is it? It's like olive oil, lemon, or lime from the yard, salt and pepper, and then like a tiny amount of Dijon. A little Mrs. Dash. I never had that. She's nice. Never had that. A little Mrs. Dash. The other day, can I tell you what I made? I've been really into cooking. The other day, I was at a function and I ate a pizza, bagel, pizza bite. I haven't had one in so long. You know the kind that you put in the oven? The little one. And pizza's on a bagel. You can get a hockey puck of death. Yeah. So why was that at a party? Those are so gross. It was what was being offered for breakfast. I'll tell you more in the next episode, well, it's a good teaser. But I went home and I was like, that wasn't good, but it awakened to part of me that wanted a good. I felt like that woman was like, my children wanted cornflakes this morning. So instead of me, because instead of the white corn 11, I put pizza ingredients on a store bot, a store bot bagel. And that was me making cornflakes from scratch. My children wanted cornflakes. So I walked to Iowa. My gay friends, Jonathan and Jonathan really wanted pizza bagels. So girl, I got the bagels brushed on the oil and the butter and the Italian seasoning. Then the stunning pizza sauce, the cheese, and then chopped up red peppers and tomatoes. Put it in the oven. You broil that shit? You broil it for the last couple of minutes. 400 degrees. Then you broil it. Yeah. It was great. It was really great. Honestly, I was like, pizza bagels aren't good enough to not do this. Pizza bites, are they called pizza bites? I'm not sure. Bigel bites, they're just not good enough to not do the real thing. And I love you bagel bites and you can send free bagel bites. And bagel bites, I don't like you. So you can fuck off. Right. You know what I used to love in high school? What? Tostino pizza rolls. The cheese ones. Oh my god. They're doing what the bagel bites should have did at the gig with the girls. So I don't know what those are. Tostino. So these little squares. And you can microwave them or put them in the oven and they get hot and they're, the outside is almost like a pie crust tortilla, really flat. Okay. A little pouch. Imagine like a little pouch. Like a pillow. Like a pouch. Yes. And on the inside is the cheese and the sauce from the pizza. It's bites of pizza, pizza bites. Gotcha. It's great. I don't know if it's a high nutrition. Probably not. And you know what? Is it the same kind of cheese like mozzarella cheese? Yeah. It is. Yeah. And that Susan powdered documentary. When she said, don't eat any food. You can't spell. I kind of like, you know what? She's fucking right. How do you spell? Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I don't know. My diary all the time. Boop. Why do you have diarrhea? I don't know. Are you really have diarrhea? I mean, I, I wish I was constipated. Right. No, you don't. No, I don't, of course not. But I like, every time we want to get like a little rabbit pellet, poops. I love that. It's a nice change. I think we're good. I think we're good. We're good. We're good. So I'm waiting. Final thoughts. Watch predator badly. I'm going to watch Fallout season two. Right. And then we're both going to watch primate at the movies together. I'm not going to the movies. You're out of your mind. I weirdly can't bring myself to watch Wicked for good. I watched the first one. Bob the drag queen told me if I didn't cry watching Wicked, that something's wrong with me. That is patently, that is patently untrue. It's not true. I cried because I, no, it's Wicked. Wicked. No. Okay. Anyways. Okay. But please go back. Okay. I will. I will. Bye. Bye.