A Coward Dies 1,000 Deaths

you ever got bitched I don't think I have 11 life I'm going back to like as even as a shorty we never just bitched you always always been a cool nigga man we had no confrontations for real not too many look he was like four eight I was gonna go and got no choice but to be a cool thing at full for date we've got bitched real real and got no microphone we're live back here unprepared I got I got bitched I remember the story god damn it it was a you blocked the trauma blocked it out your memory nah it was just kind of insignificant but I was a freshman at CVS and it was a nigga from he didn't even go to CVS but he was from my hood but he was like a I think he was maybe I was a freshman he was like a junior and it was right after homecoming my freshman year homecoming this we old because the nigga outside the school and I'm from the hood the nigga took my phone he stole my phone but it was a flip phone right we had flip phones back then that's crazy so but the nigga he like let me see your phone right quick make a call made the call he was like I don't know what to do I'm like so yeah I got a bitch so yeah I it's uh oh wait he's dead now by the way - what the fuck you do song why would you have that life got to him he took enough niggas follow and the one nigga wasn't playing with his ass one time that I could actually think of why I could honestly say like I felt like I got bitched damn they were it was grammar school though but they had to be like seven eighth grade or some shit nigga had nigga had got into all my cousin and shit they end up fighting wallop the van type shit whatever the case may be so it was just like our family and they family was in it like beefing you know how the shit be done and one of the niggas in it I'm talking one our homies in the hood whatever the case may be I'm talking to him he then is then a third I'm telling my shit you know I was down there running the Liddy ass all the time type shit like whoa coming from school coming from the store type shit I'm like shit we bump into each other and got to get it on this song I guess he go tell a D he go tell a D outcome from school the next day food coming to the school I should have knew something up because this nigga don't never come to our school when he come to the school he over trying to kick it with me now we walk it back to the block and shit like that we walking who popped out the cub a little DNA cuz it's shit like that they like yeah what's that shit you was talking about yeah I'm doing they know what I said cuz nigga I see it too right there so I came you know I came you like no I ain't say that shit like that so they like I ain't on that because I'm damn no way am I options now I'm like damn it's three four of them I don't know if this nigga with me not and kicked in like damn he didn't damn that set me up so I'm like then they didn't even a jump me so I'm down there like I ain't on shit bro and up getting back to the block and I told my cousin we end up fighting they ask like two three days later we didn't all end up running into each other from the store type shit cuz it's like neighborhood shit nigga they walk and we walk but shit after that it's like don't shoot him Dean in my homies now that's the crazy part about it like them damn this on my closest friends was crazy that's been bitch though now use your smart it was it was it was it was more like yeah we know you said that shit but you gonna tuck it right now cuz it's like if it was one-on-one I say you got bitch like if it's they came deep as hell then a nigga with you ain't really with you like me I'm not really bitching so I was gonna crash you could have but that wouldn't you just made business decision yeah my story I got bitch you said something in the story how like how y'all fought like two or three days later y'all's yo who was walking they was walking y'all ran into each other start fighting like that's how it was when we were sure you walk with your niggas what y'all walk around you see the op ever today these why is if a group of niggas is walking and they see and y'all see another they're gonna start shooting at each other they're not fighting to be walking because they wasn't even like the ops like these was like other kids from our neighborhood you know I'm saying so it was just you know how the family should be that's why I'm saying at that point you already got ops like that yeah it was I say we was all like seventh eighth grade it might have been a couple freshmen hanging with us and shit like that but we was all everybody came from elementary school we was all from the same area and everybody was from Woodline type shit so it was like it wasn't really like ops type shit it was just different look crews of kids that's all it was type but it's crazy cuz like I say nigga D and his cousins them damn they're growing up like them damn now I close some of our closest homies type shit like he'll call them today but you know that damn who you be friends with the niggas you be into it with as a kid in school and shit beef it with it shit like that you go up and be friends with it like that so so when I got double bitched I used to be scared as hell yeah but like cuz like if it wasn't like a fight if nigga just a nigga could say a damn near do anything but touch me and I'll just damn no one gonna do shit but nigga like hit me ain't no nigga ever in life hit me and I didn't do shit like in my life like I don't get for how scared I was they can hit me we fight like a motherfucker but like if nigga just say some crazy shit do some crazy shit I down there was just not saying shit like fuck it it is what it is like you know saying it could be my little girlfriend might be right there especially when I first went to public school like I'd start dating one of the girls that everybody liked in class and shit niggas hated me like the the main niggas that was like you know on boys in the class like the more more so popular but kind of like fuck with everybody and shit they hated me and shit but regardless of the fact though one particular time I remember I was sitting on a bus stop and first of all when you leave Simeon you could go to 79th Street while the boy should that review from the Hunnits you could take this other bus they pull up in front of Simeon and you go right across street take the other bus and they take you to like 86th and Vincennes and then you could take the hosted bus from right there down to the crib so if you kind of wanted to duck the shit on 79th you could but you know it's social shit like it was like I think I'm from the walk-up to the night or something but fuck that shit I ain't shit today you know and some niggas just never walk up there like you like this bitch ass nigga don't never come up there type shit but this particular day it was late though so all of I was I don't know what the father leave at the school matters or some shit like that it was late it was then at dark outside type shit coat like you know I'd be in the fall hmm so I'm leaving I'm I'm definitely not walking and say night by myself at night time so I hop on the bus across the street boom that bitch pull up on 87th event the 24th Wentworth bus that bitch pull up on 87 86 and Vincennes so now I'm sitting on the the hosted sitting on the bus stop waiting for the bus that's gonna take me all the way to the crib so I'm sitting there bro and all I hear is some shit like scraping like scrapping noise what the fuck is that and it's a viaduct it's that viaduct right down eighty shit like right down coming out hosted so a nigga this tall ass nigga bro this nigga like this nigga he pooped for Julian this thing was like six six or some shit he's big as fuck he come from under the viaduct like dragging a pole but he walking towards me no the nigga the nigga walking towards me bro like and he dragging a pole and I'm just like but I'm like you know like I'm just sitting on the bus I'm chilling so the bus pulling up the bus pulling up as he walking up they damn they got there at the same now he got the little people for the bus and he got there and I looked I'm like this nigga look familiar you know I'm Julian like it's my neighborhood schools I'm like this nigga I know this nigga from somewhere but a nigga must have like picked a pole up like cock that bitch back like a baseball back like bro give me a thing you gotta knock your fucking head off this bitch oh my god I'm like the bus pull up and open the doors the bus driver looking at me but this nigga standing between me and a bus the bus driver looking like damn it's like a grown man I think the nigga really should I go say you should I don't know what he should be anyway I feel like I would help the shorty at this age yeah it's like a fucking teenager whatever so I instantly just give him my shit whatever I had I just gave him that shit and hopped on the bus I'm sick as hell though I'm blue about the shit so get back to the crib everything cool I end up the next summer came up and the nigga coming back like coming around my way like end up at my homey crib on his porch trying to hoop with him shit like that and I recognize the nigga you're gonna recognize a six six yeah I'm like this dude asked who tried to hit you with the pole you know I'm saying and I ain't do shit so I got this twice really damn you know I ain't do shit I ain't say shit I just act like this shit ain't happen and uh damn did he recognize you no he probably did I did know he probably like shit ain't see me as no threat or no shit like that so it just wasn't nothing and that hurt that hurt the pride that hurt the pride yeah it did cuz most most other situations I could say I've been in was like if a nigga said something I just want an argument of person so that shit to eat at you a little bit but it's like I know if they did something to me I would whatever and there was other times where you know niggas you know niggas didn't try to I've never that was the only time I've ever been like robbed type shit cuz you know niggas that try to play put them out stronger and you try to strong I mean it's just gonna be a fight like you're not getting my shit we just fighting and that's just that so it's been times when niggas didn't follow like I didn't hop on a bus leaving semi on a niggas name man in the car following the bus all the way to the hundreds I hop off the bus they hop out the car like what a fucking these niggas come from chase me through the hood all type of shit so it been like some jump on situation but on some one-on-one that shit killed me if you lazy you waking up and you're setting the tone for everybody because you're the leader poppy poppin bitch ass niggas I don't know nobody making decisions over my life not a woman not a judge not a officer not no one to fuck a lot of people when no bullets hit on my blood like son had a procedure I'm gonna give it up you know the procedure I be sipping jacket on it can make me fuck man I don't think nothing can make me not I feel like I'm taking the benefits of being a man without the responsibilities I bring me to the topic for the day and it's based off a quote that I heard one of the best course I've ever heard is a coward dies a thousand deaths a real man dies but one all right so welcome back to Rosa's idea man I'm your co-host Terry Rosen I'm your co-host Jones you know there's man this is a show we walk the path of self-improvement we invite you to walk that path of self-improvement with us of course understand everything it's not our fault but we also understand if you blame yourself make better decisions percent how was your week brother my week is good my week is good you got a job got a job job my first tech role senior data analysts and damn it feels good that's what they got to make up for lost time man you never been a data analyst I bet you know you've been down you've been in the trenches boom I saw that senior on there but starting there is dope it's opened up a lot of doors even for solutions engineer like the thing with tech you just want to get in the door I'm saying especially with and I was doing some research since I'm gonna be a senior data analyst now with AI you know I'm saying growing thriving a lot of companies adapting it and it's really taking off and not slowing down anytime soon it's gonna be a lot of data centers opening up and that's that's gonna be a lot of opportunity job opportunities and shit so data center what they do manage like so AI runs off of data right so data center is gonna pretty much collect all they basically still when they still our data how you'd be thinking about a fucking a drink it'll pop up on your phone like this is collect collect data and yeah so a lot of those places are gonna be opening up and a lot of opportunities gonna align with what I do with that so it's pretty good my week my week was interesting man we did that we realized the village on Sunday facts that was let's talk about it let's talk about it what you guys say about it the the young man that showed up they are and I look forward to working with them definitely look forward to working with them I like I just know how when we was older and maybe old heads they would see potential in you or you know I'm saying like man I see you gonna be something you know you got your head on straight set up I felt oldest here cuz I was looking at them like yeah y'all gonna be something that's why the shit important man yeah man and um and also when you hear that as a child it don't sound in the most it sound cliche as hell but when you plant that seed in a child's mind like that you they're not gonna forget it I remember people telling me as a jet like yo you're gonna be you know you're gonna be all right you got you got the charisma you got personality if you lock in blah blah so I saw and I saw the same in those those two young men that came to the village that's me next tell me that so fuck y'all know but I mean like it's just I ran into my my mentor that really is really my cousin who put me on the right track but I didn't really get to know him in that capacity till I was about 18 19 you know I'm saying even though he's my cousin and shit never even met him till I was 13 and I only met him cuz my mama was like hey your cousin cut hell down the street I know you tired of going in the ball fish Rudy as your daddy like you are gonna be a cousin well oh dad's fuck up haircuts bro my pops used to do me dirty he was taking me to a nigga that was fucking up my haircut he's giving me the same because he had a nigga you're 40 we should be walking around the same heck bro and then they wouldn't I had a little mustache and they wouldn't let me get it lined up so I started to go get my own to go to my own barber so I can line my shit up but um yeah I remember going at the first time he it was my cousin I never met him but he I'm like damn which one of these things look like me he called my name so okay this must be him and shit so for me that first I met so late in life and him to embrace me as much as he did at the time but I'm just like damn it's a lot of sure these who don't got this at all mm-hmm and that's crazy cuz if I didn't I know this should look so much different if I didn't run into that nigga when I ran into him like you get I'm saying this a lot of parts about your story where like when you compared this version of you and considering your circumstances coming up it's a lot of little moments you know I'm saying that they really could have changed the whole are you going north you could have been going south yeah I always say man I ran into a lot of I ain't gonna call them speed bumps cuz the speed was like I ran into some dead ends mm-hmm in life like and I could literally name some people's like I would not have got past that shit if I rented you know we could look into be like oh what's meant for you fuck all that bro like it's some people I was dead stuck it wasn't like a I was kind of slow motion you know and I spared up it was like I was dead as like yeah this is fucked up I don't know what the fuck from have not met somebody or somebody told me something and it just somebody told me some before and it just rang up my brain like boom do this yeah like you know I'm saying and yeah I could remember those people very specifically however so yeah the village the village it was nice it was nice it was a nice launching point too very different young man total opposite but as much you know traction is the village has had as much attention as much eyes on it I was surprised that only two young guys showed up which is fine I'm pretty sure more will come but it was just a little surprising I mean just to take you know take some accountability we didn't we wasn't promoting it that much we you know on the internet no but I talked to a lot of people about it yeah I feel like on the internet because that's what majority people who will reach out to me like yo we all accept them kids I can I bring my nephew so just more than um flyers is cool but that video the videos the video talking about the fly talking about the event I feel like that brings way more results so I'm gonna make put some intention behind that this week - oh yeah we are you know we got sneak a brother back so okay we figured something out and he gonna just do all of them everyone um and then how to old footage new footage rose gold put it all together at the end I should be crazy so shout out to that man but we did have a lot more mentors this time and that's what I was more impressed by more happy about is that we had a lot of men there that was like taking a time out willing to help and we had some great perspectives because we had you know I think the age range was 25 to 36 as far as the mentors we had a guy from Georgia that shout out to shout to nope from Georgia we have one of my younger brothers that's 25 flipping cribs doing it's like super successful with 25 and I really appreciate him being there just because he younger you know I'm saying the time out like nigga that's 25 with a bunch of money like you know I'm saying like come on niggas ain't trying to do that like you know that take that time out on a Sunday so definitely appreciate him yeah Mike there of course we had Vinnie Vinnie down who did 11 years you know I'm saying came home in January and he had a very different perspective man perspective and story great great perspective like and we needed that for real and I can it's easy to that's not that even sound cliche you know somebody who went to prison and you know turn your life around I know the level of difficulty to switch mindsets yeah yeah that part like it's the it's not like anything physical to have a certain mindset to have a certain paradigm that's most and that's more I'm gonna say a paradigm his paradigm was shit yeah and for him to be able to move in corporate settings now and be able to speak in both rooms and understand both it the nigga yeah shout out to you show show man so yeah the business though man cheers to that man today we're drinking some more black on whiskey and it's the same bottle from last week is this shit was a hundred dollars and I ain't drinking it that's we don't goddamn camera fuck is y'all talking about she was expensive as fuck it's good though I'm not a whiskey drinker this shit like a perfume bottle but it's good though it do go ahead be on say you want a shot but you know weeks was good the week was good man looking up I was having some conversation with some people about a post I made you know I've been posting footage from like some shows like a month ago just that we just never went off on mm-hmm and it was a post I made about cheating today yeah and I was talking about how you know the reasons why I don't why I would never cheat again right now some women who took it like oh this is based in like ego and you should of course you couldn't you shouldn't cheat because you spray I don't think I have to say that right however it was basically saying that like you know guys shouldn't cheat guys with kids who in the household you got to be you got to put your kids first you got to put your family situation first run around trying to get some pussy you'll lose your whole situation how your kid in a different household and all type of shit like that right and I'll put in some thoughts to it and I'll just think about like the act of being brotherly and how what we think is broco and what we taught is broco it ain't really the most brotherly shit like if I'm a single man and I'm hanging out with my homie and he got kids and he live with his girl and we fucking chicks together we on we we out you know I'm saying we had to buy together with the hook we at the we at we on the boat we doing this we doing that and I'm knowing like I gotta make sure bro not in the in the story I gotta make sure bro don't I gotta make sure this I gotta make sure that so he don't get jammed over this girl and if that he a grown man that's his decision but I should be at least telling him like hey bro I'm not gonna lie you're gonna do what you want to do but I would be I would be doing you a disservice and it would not be brotherly for me to at least tell you like a bro you need to like lock in with your girl bro I'll let me this is single man's game let me play it you know I'm saying because for me to not say that just on some man we the guys were fucked that shit we out here we do your thing and then you lose your your family bro yeah and you gonna come call it calling me about a damn bro she really let she dead ass this town and now you know I'm saying it's like bro I I sat back in and you know you got right here man with all the shit you got that perspective now you know I remember I can vividly remember at one point um I was you know I'm saying I'm keeping like we ain't we in a club with the hoes or whatever I get to I get to him go back the other way I've been doing all that shit but you just posted a clip where somebody close to me came to me and he this was before he cheated he was just you know been to me like man bro like I'm saying my temptations is heavy you know I'm saying flesh is loud and all that type of stuff and I'm like the first I'm like brother you a grown man but I'm going to give you my perspective I'm going to paint the picture for you I'm pretty sure you're not looking at it this way you the pros you the cons that women ain't no pros you think it's a pro but it's gonna end up being a con but I painted the picture for him he ended up making his decision as a grown a functional adult and my vision came to pass like you you tweaked you you lost your family you know what I'm saying your girl is fucking another thing now like your kids it you know the whole thing played out and I think me being able to have a conversation with him beforehand it was like a it should have been an eye-opener at the end but some people you just not gonna learn until you test the fire yourself so absolutely absolutely man I think we got a couple voicemail you want to listen to a voicemail for sure for sure don't let your phone go off for about five years now we're in our late 20s and we have been in therapy for about 10 months this year and currently we have hit a very rough patch so he's dealing with a lot of financial problems right now as well as a health scare from somebody in his immediate family and it has taken a toll on our relationship and I don't know how to juggle it it's taken a whole lot on our relationship I would say in not a positive way he's become very distant very withdrawn it's been a month since we've been intimate yeah there's just I don't know how to handle it I understand I completely understand you know when things hit as far as especially as far as like finances you don't want to deal with anything you know extra I understand that but I just I don't know how to show up for him because he's not showing up for me in this moment and it's like at the end of the day I am still your partner I do still have needs and I understand that you can be your not can be but you're going through a lot in this moment but it's also like I don't know how to show up for him in this moment whatsoever and then I think to tie all of us together like we have infidelity issues in the past so it just really doesn't make me feel any better knowing like this is the hand that he's been dealt and what he's dealing with right now at the moment but it also is very triggering for me at the same time so it's like yes I understand it to meet your space you're just trying to deal with everything and manage everything but it's like at the same time I don't know what to do that time I'm supposed to show up for you but at the same time like I need you to show up for me just give me some some type of advice because right now I just like I'm on a crossroads and I really just don't know what to do so this is my perspective thanks for calling in appreciate you I've been in a relationship for five years that's that's no small thing you know so shout out to that my milestone and y'all are young so you like late 20s but like right now the season day he's in it's a season and this is not gonna be like this all the time and these are the moments this is the only time that you're really gonna get to prove that you 10 toes down in a relationship outside of just basic shit like not cheating and I know you say y'all had infidelity issues in the past but it's stuff like this when real life happens and how your partner shows up and how your partner responds so I'm gonna talk about on your end and I'm a go to his end if I was in your shoes you should change your perspective I would look at it as like you know what in this time I'm gonna do what I need to do I'm gonna love him out of duty you understand cuz you're not you're not feeling it right now which is cool like your feelings is you know are real is valid you feel disconnected but for the sake of my commitment to this relationship and my role in your life as your woman I'm gonna stand down and make sure I'm here for you so because I would do that because let's just say God forbid the relationship ends I would be able to walk away and be like well shit I was solid you know it's an idea what I was supposed to do when shit got hard I ain't kind of leave you out to dry or whatever it didn't work out but I was a real motherfucker in this situation so cool now on his end you said that he he needed space and that was that was odd to me because if my girl of five years I would be leaning into my relationship you know I'm dealing with something you know fight financial issues and then the loss of a family member I'm leaning into my relationship because I'm weak right now and I'm thinking of a five year relationship y'all should be kind of like locked in or whatever case maybe and he doesn't type of girl you got go ahead though yeah yeah that's some variables but on his on his end I think he still should be aware of his duty in the relationship because I've been in situations where I wasn't in the best space in a relationship but I made a conscious decision to not let it affect my relationship communication is key a lot you don't want to leave your woman wondering you know I'm saying because if you going through something you just silent I just need some space now she got to create a scenario ahead that's probably why you thinking why you brought up the infidelity thing in the past and that's triggering to you you think he needs space because he probably putting his time elsewhere and you basing that thought off of y'all past because he's not communicating you understand so it's a lot of different things but advice wise I would just say just be the best version of yourself in the relationship still and write it out I was gonna get on her ass I ain't gonna lie until she said that he cheated it was an infidelity because I mean that makes it harder you know I'm saying to show up for somebody when they being distant and it's usually when it's when people leave you a lot of space you feel it with negative thoughts especially when it's some infidelity in there even if it wasn't a lot of times you feel it with negative thoughts so that didn't help and we just talked about niggas cheating and there's another reason why I think it shouldn't cheat because when you need you know I'm saying your partner to be there for you might be a little bit harder for them if you you know I'm saying was being a dirty-ass nigga at one point however what she was saying you know he going through something about health scare in the media family you talking about finances you know how much men tie their self-worth to finances so that's no small thing and you're saying like you don't know how to show up for him because he's not showing a few and ain't really about you right now it's not it's not about you right now it's in my opinion it's your job to put your needs to the side right now like you said oh I still got needs so it ain't about you right now yeah like if you was going through part post-partum you just had a baby he still got needs he's still on his dick sucks he still want sex he still want to be cooked for and all that you gonna expect that nigga to put his needs to the side and be there for you why you go through your shit and fill in the gaps you know I'm saying and cook for you and do this for you and like show up for you you ain't gonna be one of them sitting back like damn you ain't showing up for me I don't know what to do like that shit is kind of crazy yeah but when she said it was an infidelity I could see why that makes it harder cuz you ain't all the way there but also you stayed after the infidelity so you got to show up all the way because you decided that you was gonna stay you know I'm saying so you still got to show up me the person wanna be so my synopsis is it's not about you right now it just ain't and it might not be about you for a minute and this is the reality of relationships this is reality of you want to be with somebody for SLI if you want to get married you know you want to have a wedding get married to motherfucker you know I'm saying go through all types of different ain't gonna be the first the last health scare in this in a media family it's gonna be a lot of health scares gonna be a lot of deaths you know I'm saying if we live long enough to see him so and that's that's a that's a hard reality too man so I think we overall man I'm not I'm all for that now cuz I don't want to apply what I'm gonna say now to that situation but I just think overall when coming to this relationship shit we gotta start looking at just character and like this shit is not gonna look how it look right now forever the physical attraction not gonna be there the same as we get older and it might be some some a lot of love that makes you still physically attracted to a person but that ass gonna fall titties gonna fall all of it you did go and fall gonna be the same bro and it's gonna look different it's gonna feel different you know I'm saying that wait just everything on fall yeah I don't know they got a lot of pills and shit out here now for a lot of shit you know and I ain't really in the chicks that don't want to do a whole lot of surgery either so uh-huh I don't know man but life is hard man I was just thinking about really this might be kind of dark but you know it's like you there body gonna be at your funeral you gonna be at all if you know we saw a post like that you had like three siblings said one of your siblings are gonna see one of your siblings is gonna be at everybody's funeral one of your siblings you're gonna attend one of your other siblings funerals and then one of your siblings nobody gonna be a day for a funeral right so that's the thing we all want to live the longest we want to see them like that we watched a vampire movie this week and I was talking about like gee I would never want to live forever that mean everybody I ever know is gonna die everybody I've known is gonna die and I'm gonna watch everybody die and everybody I meet from this point on like every relationship every friendship I have is gonna end with me watching that person die like it's crazy bro yeah that's what member at the end centers on the old man you know he asked the old man like hey you want to live ever like you like I'm tired look that I'm cool yeah man so I say all that to say not to get too dark but just like when you think about this life and who we gonna pick choose to live life with and ride out with to the end it's more than just when it feel good the scariest parts about and I'm speaking on relationships the scariest parts about like these seasons with our partners and ourselves are gonna go through is you don't know how long they are like cuz everybody understands that at some point in my relationship I'm gonna have to be like 10 toes down and we all know what's gonna get hard and you like when when it get hard I'm gonna stand strong some people seasons could last years two years three years I've heard of you know marriage marriages was in a slump for five years yeah who in this generation gonna have a character to stand standing some shit that's bad for five years most people will be like oh this is a sign to break up because why are we dealing with this whoa you know I'm saying so you just know the torture part of it is you just don't know how long it is people don't operate well when there's no finish line you know I'm saying like even in business like I'm gonna start a business and that shit ain't pop off how they wanted to they're quitting yeah cuz it ain't no finish it ain't no clear vision of like when this shit is gonna get better like you you don't know and that'd be really the difference it's like can you get through this shit you know I'm saying and not knowing when it's gonna stop or when it's gone when the rain gonna stop like that's the second reference for the mastermind album oh did he yeah yeah damn I was gonna say shout out to Diddy I just that me just a when niggas they ain't coming over like shout out to bro like let's get into this topic man let's do it the quote again a coward dies a thousand deaths a real man dies one it could be looked at in different ways right my first thought when I hit that quote is that when you live life from a place of fear fear eats at you eats at your spirit it kills your spirit they could kill your spirit over and over and over again versus what we saying is a real man but you just died a day that you actually die yeah right well I thought like just literally like you gonna die one time and like I'm gonna be over but you don't have to deal with all of these these things eating at your spirit throughout your your existence you know I'm saying like killing your spirit but in a metaphorical way also it's like you can die these like micro depths these things that chip away at your spirit or you can face something head-on and just deal with it one time yeah you know so we talk about like on a very simple basic level like you on high school or your elementary school or that you get bullied my father came to me and told me one day he was like nigga whether you win or lose a fighting school gonna last about 30 seconds if you let this nigga punk you you gonna feel that shit for a long time like and he and a fucked up brat is not only if he punked you once you gonna feel it for a long time it's gonna be in your heart for a long time mm-hmm he might keep doing a shit like he might keep fucking with you every day that fight that you avoid and gonna last about 30 seconds go ahead and fight that nigga man mm-hmm you know I'm saying yeah and you know that I feel like that's just what it is on the on the basic level and even on an even smaller level we all fellas in here you seen a girl that you thought was attractive you see her y'all could be at the mall you could be anywhere you see her she cold you even play out in your hit like man I gotta have I gotta have her but it's a little bit of fear in you the fear of rejection especially as a young man that overpowered your desire to go approach her yeah and you let her walk away yeah we've all experienced you think about that shit like for the next two weeks because you the unknown is eating at your spirit like man what if she would have said yeah I should have talked to I should have said something I should I shoulda versus if you would have approached her and she turns you down it would have only heard it right then and there because you know the outcome and it wouldn't hurt it as bad it wouldn't hurt as bad it's like okay it isn't but the the possibility of it turning out in your favor and but you don't know because you didn't have the courage enough to step up and seize the opportunity that hurts way more now like that's on a you know a small level and then on a bigger level let's just say let's just say it was a job opportunity right and as you and a few people in the in the room or whatever and somebody comes in and it's not like an interview I'm just like kind of painting like a random scenario but somebody comes in and offers the opportunity to the room you want it but you didn't say anything right and so the nigga next to you he look nervous he looks scared like nobody saying anything so that's you're you're feeling even more secure but then the most scared nigga in the room he like you know what I'll do it and then you find out let's just say boom six-figure income nigga life change etc you're gonna live that experience over and over and over you know I'm saying versus if you just take things head on you ain't gonna you only gonna die once I could get so many examples of this bro even like have ever been a girl that you was dating talking to fucking everything scared to get in a relationship with her right scared to take that next step like whether it be you scared to walk away from your other single shit you got going on or you scared that she gonna hurt you or you scared you know she might be super fine and you just feel like you got that imposter syndrome like damn like I know I'm a fly nigga but damn like she can fuck with anybody you know what I'm saying and you don't cover and you look up and something to get in comfort and you just like damn but the the thing that you said was small I don't think that that's small the one about the women about you try that you want to shoot your shot and that might sound like very high school to like some women that's listening I see niggas go through that damn every weekend like in real life yeah like when I be outside with and some of the niggas be like real snipers who really like shoot a shot but I see somebody and like I say they freeze up but they kind of freeze up it don't look like a fucking I don't look like the Disney Channel freeze up but it look like you don't say a nigga like damn she cold and just keep going with the conversation and look up she gone he's like damn I tweaked but and I feel like when they go sniping I don't really like matter as much because that's what niggas do but I do think that it's a lot of grown men who still deal with that and that's not a small thing in my opinion bro like that's that's kind of big because it says a lot about yourself image it says a lot about how you feel about yourself the confidence that you have in yourself absolutely shout to uh this is so crazy you know you always like to joke about my trauma when I went to Detroit yeah with my older cousin and he mm-hmm yeah yeah but no that same cousin I'll never forget forget we was at a mall in Detroit and um I seen a girl that I liked you know so I'm like I'm like cuz look look she but I didn't go but he like nigga go say hi why are you telling me for fuck you go talk to her I'm like oh nah you know what I'm saying and then he just you know like look nigga the worst she can say is no she not gonna whip your ass I just go introduce yourself like don't even ask for the number just introduce yourself introduce myself walked over had the courage was nervous as shit and luckily this luckily she knew she kind of was very aware I probably was like 13 she maybe was I think 15 or 16 yeah and um I approached to introduce myself she like oh my god you're so handsome but if you was a little older I would uh you know something gave you my number but you're so handsome blah blah blah that gave me like from that day forward it's never like if I'm single and I see a woman that I'm attracted to or I feel like I feel like you know what I'm saying I want it's like a beeline it's like the scene in uh in American Gaitha when Denzel turned around and then he called eyes with uh his his his wife later on in the movie as soon as they made eye contact he walked straight towards it like that that type to have that type of confidence not only relates to women but your life as a male that's trying to conquer this world you know what I'm saying if you if you were scared to approach you know a woman who's to say that you won't be scared to approach another man about you know an opportunity that could probably change your life but that confidence that lack of confidence is going to bleed over into a lot more areas where you're not going to reach your full potential because of your lack of confidence and you just you you got a scarcity mentality you're not confident in your ability to make shit happen absolutely I think it goes a lot into self-worth um and just just worthiness in general man um when you I was always told like to interview the interviewer right like you go into a job interview and you want to ask the interview the person in this is good questions about the company and see if it's a get fit for you mm-hmm and a lot of people most people when they go into a job interview they want the job so bad that they're just trying to see if you're they're trying to sell yourself to the company and improve your your auditioning your worthiness to them regardless of how nice your resume is regardless of how stacked the resume is how educated you are how many credentials you got you're a lot of people just have this they make themselves inferior mm-hmm and they have this thought process that I have to prove brother to these people that I deserve to be among them and get this job and get this salary whatever the case may be and that's understandable just because of the the power dynamic like this capitalism you the fucking job I get that um however there are people who reach a point in their careers well it's just like i'm gonna go off it's gonna be a bidding war because I um I got my shit together and it's it's like you know I'm going to the best bit I'm action like what it it came to a point as a teacher you know it's fucking 600 schools in Chicago bitch I'm not interviewing for shit like I'm actually I like how big like what like how big is the gym like what's going on like what are y'all going to reset what time do y'all get up I ain't fucking with you I ain't you know I'm saying yeah and it's a different it's a different way you look at yourself with a woman it's very similar when you walk up you approach a woman or approach anybody um I give okay so with the woman um you walk up if you are in that same inferior space is a job interview like you you have to try to make her laugh or prove something to her to make her feel like you're worthy of her number that's a way there and most I think most guys approach that way whether it works or not it works a lot it works in a lot of cases but um that mind state will have you see a certain woman and be like yeah I'm not even gonna approach her yeah because you feel like you you're not on that level for some reason it's it's a reason why you see this woman and you go for it you see another woman you like fuck like when I'm gonna say you you you got lost for words it's about how you see yourself you know what I'm saying and the last example I'm gonna give is when it comes to networking I remember having conversations with people we going we finna go outside we finna go to this bar and it's finna be these certain people there and having conversation things like hey bro when you approach these niggas like when we networking with people you got something to offer yeah you don't have to just be like hey I'm so and so woo woo I fuck with what you got going on I just like woo hey I'm so and so and this is what I do I think it'd be dope if we could collaborate and do something together it's a different conversation and I think you show up a lot more confident and a lot more attractive in the conversation when you have more self-worth so that's why I say I feel like it's a big deal yeah you know what I'm saying I agree um to go back into when you talk about uh confidence in jobs over the last I had just did the math over the last three years I was transitioning into the tech industry and one thing that I noticed that I had always had confidence in jobs like when it come to um first of all when I started interviewing for roles in tech that was the first time where I interviewed and like met somebody face to face and I interviewed and I didn't get the role all of my other jobs that I've had I had a lot if I interview with somebody and I get to meet them and talk to them I'm getting a job it's over with you know especially with the questions I asked her I never felt nervous or whatever I always had questions like you know how's the company culture how do your employees feel about management if I also ask one of your employees how comfortable they are with how y'all are running things you know what would they say to me like I'm asking shit like that straight face eye contact everything you know what I'm saying but when I got over into uh the tech industry it was a new space and I did feel inferior because I felt like uh not didn't belong but I didn't qualify like I have no experience I'm trying to break in so I'm I'm coming off with that oh I'm just happy to be here energy you know what I'm saying so as I started to network and learn the industry I'm seeing that other people that are interviewing for these roles they coming in with like supreme confidence like that's when I got introduced to like motherfuckers is asking for sign-on bonuses I need 20 bands for me to even come over here and it's a different conversation you negotiate equity now like I'm motherfuckers just trying to get hourly wage like no these motherfuckers coming over like okay what's the salary okay let me swap out some of these let's take down some of the salary let me get equity in this oh I also need to sign on bonus etc it was a different conversation and when you have in that type of conversation it shows that you know your stuff especially the type of things that you ask they know you did your research they know you're not new to this they know you ain't just happy to be here this is a value exchange you know I'm saying and if it don't make sense I'll walk away and they know that when when those tech companies come across a candidate like that like they like okay we we're going with them you know I'm saying so when you get though when you got those reps in when you go up and talk to the girl when you go up and ask to introduce yourself at the networking event it's building that confidence level up you know I'm saying you getting those reps in so when you're getting in situations like that you don't feel inferior and you can capitalize on opportunities and you come off you know like you shure yourself etc yeah I'm not again like you said bleeding to other parts of life man I always tell people even with like real estate going into by building feel first time and it's all these terms ARV and equity and all these different times that a lot of people even me like start off I didn't know what the fuck they meant and equity is a term that's used so much and you could people could probably relate to this in different types of jargon in different fields when you hear a term used so much you don't know what it is you're not scared to ask what it is because it seems like common sense to everybody else yeah it's even said this shit four times four five times and they nobody asked what the fuck this mean and I'm lost in this bitch so let me not even you know what I'm saying um however when you walk into this situation even with real estate like you got a long officer you got an inspector you got a um you got a realtor you got a appraiser you got whatever and they all work for you but if you you can position yourself to where it don't feel that way and you can get taken advantage of very easily because nobody gets paid into you sign a contract and if you don't know what the fuck is going on and you're just not confident in the situation the long officer can kind of press you like where the document said well and you feel like you got to do this shit you like oh shit i'm late i'm behind on this i'm old and now you you so you you you the long officer impressed you so much it's been two months and now you know you've been about to build and say it's i'm wrong with the roof but you like damn i didn't send i got a the long officer who fucking i got to get the building because the long officer and the realtor then we didn't put in all this work and we'll fuck all that shit you the boss even though you know the lease you know less than all of these people but at the end of the day nobody gets paid unless you sign a contract meaning that you are the boss you know what i'm saying but again like if you if your mental makeup is just not on point you know um thinking about opportunities bro like i'll never forget um i know a nigga i grew up with boxing he got offered his first contract from promotion company and as far as a few million his father turned it down and everybody's asking like why the fuck you turn it down it's like nigga if that was the first offer we would we were way more than that that's a different mind state it's most people who feel like this the last opportunity i might get so like you you're scared to ask for more you know i'm saying you you're gonna be scared to ask for a raise like don't you know what i'm saying so yeah it's just like a self-worth thing that it gotta it gotta be there i just saw a clip uh from uh it is what it is no no no that's what i supposed to call cam and mace yeah here's what it is yeah no matter if i think cam was on a radio show some shit and they was talking about cam was talking about mace's mindset when it came to business yeah so he was saying like mace he's not picking up the phone for less than a hundred thousand dollars like don't bring it to him whatever case maybe it's not worth his time he got other things going on like it is it's on the back burner he came to mace and was like yo we got this like promo gig or whatever they want to do this with us like a little package or whatever for 125 mace was like shit you want to take 25 like that because i'm not doing anything but less than a hundred thousand dollars you know what i'm saying like no i don't want to take 25 he's like that good well we ain't doing it then like he's like it ain't something you know you gotta you gotta see the bigger picture or whatever and the same thing happened with when they first started getting offers when they started getting offers for that podcast i think the first offer was maybe two or three million mace like nah they got to like uh like seven million and cam like nigga this is it and mace like nah he's like nigga what are you doing like nigga we we're doing this shit for fun right now bro we just spent two hundred thousand dollars on our studio whatever he likes to get to chill out and they ended up getting the deal that you know that they were worth however much it was but you saw the two different mindsets mace he knew his work he was confident he not grateful to be here he like he knew what was going on cam wasn't more so on the scarcity mindset like i don't want this to pass us like you know so we got to take whatever we can get ooh so that that happens to everyday people in just smaller uh scenarios yeah and it's all about application too because i mean a lot of people say you gotta strike while the iron's hot nothing wrong with that mentality you do gotta take advantage of opportunities you you can't take no opportunity for granted but then the other side is that it the other side of that is you sometimes you need to be patient and sometimes you need to you know it gets it gets graded later and it's just having a discernment to know you know the discernment i feel like i just i exercised a good discernment because you know i was gun hold on i'm going to be a solutions engineer that's what i went to got the schooling for that's what i've been studying for that's what i've been reknown like i'ma be a solutions engineer what if i didn't have discernment and could see the bigger picture and they come across you know oh this is the data senior data analyst position whatever i could have been like nah i'm gonna i'm focused on ooh but my discernment i'm like nothing getting this is striking why the iron is hard like you don't have it like you you can sometimes you can be over confident and and play yourself too yeah because you can you can uh you can feel like you were more than what you are right now in the current marketplace it's almost like dating you know how some women feel some women and men feel like oh i'm worth this but you having a hard time getting somebody to buy into what you feel like you worth you're getting offers but they don't they not matching up but you got to pay attention to the type of offers that you get and that's a reflection of your true value in the marketplace how you feel about yourself you can feel the word about yourself but how you feel about yourself and how you feel in the market is two different things you know i'm saying that that goes professionally i could feel like i'm a solution engineer but realistically nigga you've never been one you know i'm saying yeah you got some transferable skills whatever case may be but you got to take what you can get but not just you know you just got to be strategic about it and you got to have like you said deserve it yeah absolutely um and it's it's some other thing i want to add to that about just kind of keeping the main thing the main thing understand what your real goal is we was both doing a solutions engineer um class for a minute and my whole goal in it was to make a certain amount of money versus your goals more so like i really like this position i like this role yeah you know i'm saying that's what i want to do so i moved on from that she's like it was all about the money for me anyway yeah you get what i'm saying um and then i see your therapist who for pointing that out my therapist did point it out you know i'm saying my therapist told me she was like you know if you make this much and you basically want to make an extra thirty thousand dollars why would you she's like your goals have always been growing your podcast and investing more in real estate so she was like right now you're in a space where you want to make an extra thirty thousand a year because i always told her my goal and how much i wanted to make in tech versus what i was making at the time and she was like now you try and make an extra thirty thousand why don't you go work at a radio station build your podcast that way and learn something about that or go be a fucking realtor and sell fucking four buildings a year you know what i'm saying like and do something that's more in your lane instead of jumping into a whole other lane so that made sense and um i really just stayed in in my lane in a different way end up in a great position regardless but i want to go back to the the fear the the actual quote a coward dies a thousand death deaths admit a real man dies but one let's talk about holding your tongue in a relationship oh man you know a lot of times is men is the most masculine man um and especially in the the way we see masculinity in our society now we don't we're not in touch with our emotions a lot of times we don't like to express our emotions so emotions become kind of a woman's playground whereas if you step out into being vulnerable you step out into expressing your emotions a woman could do one thing and you would shut that shit down so fast yeah she could do one thing to make you feel like you're doing too much you're like you know what you're right i'm sure if you shut the fuck up like you know i'm saying you could be a little bit vulnerable yeah and she's saying something to try to play you a little bit and you're like yeah i'm i'm not i'm not saying shit else and that's even the most masculine guy but at the end of the day you know if that shit eating at you and you with somebody you feel like you can't talk to you with somebody you feel like you can't approach it's no way to say this without getting defensive it's no way to say this without you know it turning into a blow-up and now y'all arguing and now you know she mad at you and she flipped this shit on you whatever the case may be um i feel like that the quote applies here too because at the end of the day it's still you still moving in fear whether it be fear of being vulnerable whether it be fear of losing your girl whether it be fear of getting into a fight argument whatever the case may be it's still a situation to where you have some things on your mind that you need to say that you need to get off and you'd rather eat the shit and live with it and and and and let the shit faster and fuck with you then you just put the shit on the table and deal with whatever the truth is and and walk the path that needs to be walked by dealing with it whether that be a fucking argument whether that be a separation whatever it is Jordan Peterson said some of the really shit i've ever heard and i can't say it the way he said it the nigga was like the truth is going to put you exactly what the fuck you need to be and the more the more that you go around the truth whether it be with a friendship you're biting your tongue with not telling your friend how you really feel about them or a parent or a relationship or whatever the case may be whether you somebody who who in a relationship but you just got this crazy urge to be single and fuck with all these people if you don't walk your truth you're gonna always end up out of place you know what i'm saying but another quote that i love is a man will meet his destiny on the very path he took to avoid it you won't end up where you're supposed to end up regardless you're just taking a longer stressful traumatic route to get there yeah you just uh that brings me to how merry men you know don't you know quote happy wife happy life you know what i'm saying you you step out of that it's like uh emotions vulnerability that's the woman's bag logic is our bag and so when you go into another person's uh field of expertise you feel a little less than you're a lot more vulnerable and so that first blow you going back to where you're comfortable at and it's like you know you're going to choose not to say anything so when you choose not to say anything that's how you got a lot of men in marriages to where they don't they're not confrontational and confrontational it's not a bad word you know what i'm saying look at you taking up for yourself they're not confrontational they don't they don't voice their opinion they tuck they tell and you want to blame it on how women aren't women don't listen to men women is this women is that versus taking accountability if you speak up for yourself and you know i'm saying you know drop your nuts little key you know what i'm saying you won't deal with half of the stuff you're dealing with but you're so scared of how you're going to feel once you voice your opinion you're scared of you coming up with this now you're doing what women do you coming up with all these different scenarios making up uh uh outcomes that's not probably not going to happen or may it do happen but it's stopping you from making the decision you you you don't like how she spoke to you you don't like how she handed you in a certain situation but in your mind you like you know what if i bring this up right now it's gonna fuck up the vibe for the night we're gonna be arguing on for like this that ooh so you decide not to say anything but it still bothered you uh-huh that's one way you die the the the next morning you wake up she's fine she's like hey what's up hey whatever you still feeling some type of way you know i'm saying you got some things you want to address but you want to avoid confrontation you died again so metaphorically when you you know a coward dies a thousand death real man dies but one you're gonna relive that situation and die again over and over until you finally speak up for yourself i've been in that situation before and that was like one of the lowest points in my life where i didn't want to bring up a situation in a in a situation ship i was in because i felt like if i bring this up she probably gonna be like okay maybe we should stop talking and i didn't want to lose her all that's always what it is i didn't want to lose her right when women do the same thing and i was i was in one of those situations where it was like you know what i ain't gonna i ain't gonna say nothing because i'm settling for less i got her in this capacity so i'm gonna just take what i can get yeah that's that i died over and over and over again you know i'm saying and i feel like people who you know men in that situation i feel like you should only go through that once yeah the way that felt i'd never do no shit like that terrible it feel horrible and i man in situations in current in recent life i tell women all the time like if i got a problem with something i'm gonna say it i mean i'm attacking you yeah i'm just letting you know how i feel and we gonna get we're gonna figure out whether we're supposed to be together really really fast you know what i'm saying like we we're gonna get to the point where we know really quick because if i don't like something i'm gonna say it and if you can't change or you can't deal with me saying it and it's always an argument it's always this is always you you just you can't hide these hard conversations yeah we're just not supposed to be together but we're gonna figure it out pretty quick though you know what i'm saying and the other part of it is um it's crazy that we talk so much about men suffering in silence i hear that's a bunch of internet in a relationships but niggas be real vocal in these comments you know what i'm saying the niggas them type of niggas who are we suffering in silence and these women is but you very these niggas are very opinionated on in these comments on the internet on instagram on tiktok about women and what they do and what they don't doing but how you suffering in silence on the fucking in your fucking real life in your relationship yeah so we talk about cowardice like you scared to talk to your girl but you'll argue me down call me all types of simps to bitch ass niggas in the comment section talk to your girl like what the fuck are we doing like you know you're scared for her to be mad at you like it's great you really just scared to lose your girl like at the end of the day you're scared to to to walk that path of like this this ain't really what's supposed to happen but you hurt yourself in the end because you end up married to her what's that quote you should say the destiny one uh a man will a man will find his destiny on a very path he took to avoid it that's that's a good one it's inevitable psychometrics what's out yet never tell there yeah we good let me know we hit the hour well wait we got it now but you got a man's perspective yeah so it's some shit we need to talk about too um one of my favorite quotes the one that you said that i like a lot when emotions is high logic is low yeah so cool so in my relationship um my lady she was bringing me an issue that she had right and i responded from an emotional state and when i say emotional state nigga didn't cry didn't blow up or whatever the case may be when i say emotional state i got defensive in what she was bringing up versus sitting back i wanted to like defend myself versus address the issue that she brought to me right because i felt quote unquote attacked and i feel like men you know when i go a lot of men we probably do that you know what i'm saying we're not of course we're the most logical ones but not all the time especially when you feel like you being attacked and we feel like you're innocent of whatever that your lady is bringing up to you and i had thought about it and i if that was a situation because that the the issue i could see one of my female homegirls bringing me that issue if she would have if one of my homegirls brought me the same issue i would have been able to sit back and be like okay well what i did to get over that situation was x y z etc i would have walked her through it and i missed that opportunity in uh in my real life relationship because i was a part of the story i was a part of like the issue and so i wanted to defend me versus address the solution right so one thing i learned is you know just to like slow down take myself out of the equation listen to what she's saying and you know just uh come at it with a different angle versus you know feeling like i got to defend myself or you know just yeah absolutely absolutely um advice for boy moms this week it's tough man um as a woman raising a man to be to have courage it could be difficult i think a lot of women would prefer to protect their child um even if it comes even if it's a conflict of preparing them okay you know what i'm saying instead of protecting them i think a lot of women would prefer to protect their child i think that um it's not easy to see a child in a position where they seem helpless or they seem like overwhelmed or like the moment is too big for them or the bully is too big or the challenge is too hard whatever the case may be and let them suffer and let them sit in it you know what i'm saying without you stepping in and intervening but i think it's important to understand that the more you intervene in those situations the less prepared they are to handle the next situation so if you avoid mom and your son is being bullied in any capacity whether it be just verbal things or to be physical things whatever the case may be it's important to to let the school know what's going on it's important to um have the support of the school and things like that especially just paperwork wise have things documented emails and things in case it escalates but it's also important to use that opportunity as a teacher moment and really instill that's what the the opportunity you get to really instill real values and real bravery into your kid and it could be through positive self-talk um teaching your kid positive self-talk it could be using that opportunity to put your kids in different programs combat sports whatever the case may be things that build their confidence but more so than anything just letting them know and instilling like just reaffirming them in who they are and their own self-worth and like hey listen you know what i'm saying you're gonna have to take that that step forward you're gonna have to step up and be that for yourself and show up for yourself and make that the habit because if you don't now only will you die a thousand deaths from this person fucking with you on a regular basis but you'll make that a habit and you'll let other people fuck with you you'll let almost anybody fuck with you you know what i'm saying you'll you'll be the super passive person that's letting somebody steal a fucking park from you you know what i'm saying whatever the case may be like this shit can really like get into like enter every aspect of your life you know what i'm saying so that's all i got for the boy moms today man i just think it's important to um take the opportunity to prepare your son and actually do so man because boys will be boys until they become in you know what i'm saying let's go that's all we got for y'all today man that's it that's it man that's it i hope y'all enjoyed it you know um you're chasing anything in life make sure you give it y'all man decide playing sacrifice shoot a shoot we out