A brush with… Mandy El-Sayegh

Welcome, welcome, welcome. This is the distraction pieces podcast episode 663 and my guest today was honestly the biggest joy of a person to engage with. I'm joined today by Fatih El Gori who I basically became obsessed with after she appeared on on Taskmaster and just stole the show and I've now seen on loads of other things follow on Instagram got all the love and excited to catch your own tour which I should mention now it's a debut tour we talk about this affair chunk but I mean I'm looking to plug it and a lot of it's all this sold out in April there's Cardiff and Brighton but they're sold out there's another Brighton date on the second of May at Comedia then again in May Margate sold out Birmingham sold out London's sold out 26th 27th 28th of May the stand in Newcastle Glasgow and Edinburgh so there's still some there and then in June the 7th for June Manchester Frog and Bucket there they've done a Matt and A1 and an evening one because they're flying out as well and then London Hackney Empire the big one September 10th so get your tickets and get and get involved you're gonna love this chat I'll tell you now we bought you as ever by speechdevelopmentreffels.com that's where you can buy my merch there's some interest and stuff going on over there very very soon so keep an eye patreon.com/screwbiuspip and twitch.tv/screwbiuspipio you know what I'm not gonna mess around because we get straight into it in the conversation I'm gonna keep this intro nice and brief let's get into this episode 663 of the Distraction Pieces podcast with the legend that is Fatia Elgory. Are we going I'm here today with Fatia Elgory how are you? I'm good I'm good how are you doing? I'm good I'm excited to talk but how's your week in general before we get into things how's your week? It's been okay we've started Ramadan yeah it's the first week so it's about adapting yeah so it's been a little bit of a trial and error. How is fasting in the UK because because we were saying before and I swore I wasn't going to say that because the most annoying thing when podcasts has had a conversation we were having earlier it doesn't add anything but my brother lives in Malaysia and out there during remnant obviously there's all the night markets and things like that so so when you're breaking fast it's this celebration yes when you're breaking fast in the UK it could be like I'm doing it so how is it it's a very different vibe when you're doing it in a Muslim country yeah doing it in a Muslim country it's so different um you just prepare for stuff beforehand so make sure you got your food in the things that look you like the snacks the stuff that get you through yeah that kind of thing but it's just because it's quite short the hours are quite short yeah so you you really are up against time so you don't you know it's a bit tough yeah I've worked out a little routine I have a little nap after I break my fast yes then I wake up eat and then sleep again I love it I love the organisation that has to go into it it's like it's like a professional athlete where you have to yes I remember I was doing a a a film once a river guy who was like this huge mussely dude and he was like no I've just set alarms during the night and wake up and eat I'll walk this muscle on oh wow it's like that's what athletes have to do sometimes and that's basically the you don't want to break your fast then sleep and wake up and go I've only had one yes one meal that's the worst sometimes that happens you if you're really tired or if you you can sleep freely alarm that's happened before we've woke up we've had like four minutes left to eat yeah then I'll just drink water that's there's nothing you can do yeah for me the first is worse than the hunger really yeah I can I can tolerate the hunger the first is really hard how do you find kind of working during a fasting period because it's a weird thing like you're you're gearing up for you know your headline to there's loads of stuff so you're in promo mode but you're also probably at points not really up for being in promo mode yeah totally I don't I think I just I've got a little switch that I can flip and just be like professional fatty so yeah it is it is hard and I tried to to work a little bit less during Ramadan yeah but I also think of the people that are having you know that have really physical manual labor jobs you know like the street cleaners people working in retail yeah supermarket all that kind of like really you know farmers yeah and stuff that have really really physical jobs and I think of them and I'm like if they can do it then I can do a podcast yeah exactly I get that well we're going to make this as easy as possible for you I've I I laughed a bit the things I glanced down and the first thing I've written down is I think you're great and that's where we're opening and there's loads I want to talk to you about but like I want to to talk to about your upcoming tour co-cogniz that can do about taskmaster and loads of other things but first and foremost how was Mr. Motivator on on on House of Games oh my god I cook for my dad every Thursday we watch House of Games so I watch one episode of House of Games every week and when you were on with Mr. Motivator I was like legend how was it how was he in real life oh my god so lovely and exactly like KCM1 TV yeah oh my god and I was like we they did a little dance in the green room and I just lied on the couch behind them I did the Victoria Beck compose yeah put my foot but they didn't get it because they were all dancing at the front of the house that I'm not doing this but he was I was like oh please can I get a picture my mom loves you and he's like what's your mom's name and I was like fatamizer I'm gonna do her a video I was like no I just want a picture and then he's he did the video and he's like come here when I asked him for the pictures like no we're going to do videos like okay because you're Mr. Motivator I'm gonna allow this and then he put his arm around me and he's like and you turn the camera on he's like hello Fatima I'm here with Fatia our daughter and he gigged and I was like are you crazy my dad will literally kick your head in like you mad and I said it to my mom she was losing her mind she she was giggling like a little school girl she's like oh my god he's got that vibe man he's got that vibe he's 74 you know that's insane that's that guy can like out I don't he's an athlete yeah he like he's young people he can probably outrun them out exercise them 74 he he hasn't got one ring corny's face I'm not what is going on here no and if any woman asked for a video he's claiming to be their partner or something romantic thing and fair play to him he's put the work into earn yeah um I mean how excited are you to be going on tour because you've been doing loads of things like this past few years has been mad yes and we'll get into a lot of that but how much of a buzz is it to have this have this headline to have coming up I'm so excited but I'm also really nervous yeah because it's my I've never done this my first I've been going for 10 years I've never done a solo show yeah yeah so this is my first ever one so I'm nervous there's a lot of pressure because a lot of people don't don't as well because what people don't realize particularly of your main exposure to comedy is the Edinburgh fringe like circuit comedy and things like that people spend years and years doing five tens 20s and things like that yeah not doing or doing a support slot and things like that but not doing you're the show yes yes exactly so it's a bit scary I'm looking forward to it because it's like an introduction to myself yeah so people get to know me because loads of comics go to Edinburgh to get TV work I've kind of done it the other way around because I've never been to Edinburgh I've never done a one hour show I have done work in progress which is part of working up to this show and that one best debut show for Lester comedy first yeah so I'm nervous because I'm like people I don't know yeah I'm just like well they don't like it I'm sure they're going to love it um how how how swag are you going with with like outfits uh it's like a so like you get to go all out really you get to potentially pick looks that you wouldn't necessarily like walk to Tesco's in things like that so yes yes is the outfit and staging and everything how you thinking what's the plan to be honest with you I just want it I'm just going to dress comfortable as long as I'm comfortable and I'm wearing and I just want them to have a good the audience have a good time I just make it all about them and I always do my comedies like that I always for me I feel like your audience is your customer yeah they've come they've paid to come see you need to make sure they love they're saying about you and talking about some trauma or whatever or your life story or how you want to drop the ice cream on the floor and that break your heart because you're my mom will buy you another one or some nonsense you know like that so it's it's about them it's not about me and when I used to do music until I'd I'd always say like our names on the front of the ticket but your names on the receipt exact your names on the stop you're the one that's paid to do this it's like that's the that's the important bit yes we got to make sure we're delivering for the exactly people have put their hard earned money exactly this ain't about ego if it is then you're in the wrong kind of job like you said that we're a customer it's you're delivered you need to deliver yeah yeah yeah so there's a lot of pressure I mean speaking of pressure how have you found it post taskmaster because taskmaster is where I got exposed to you um I've had a lot of mates on Taskmaster and I'm going to say on the record, I think you've become my favourite Taskmaster contestant now. I think you've knocked. It was probably key and loose handers fighting it out for the number one spot, but I think you've demoted them. How was it pressure wise going on and then how has it kind of been after? Oh my God, it's like getting the phone call to be like, I'll put the phone down and the agent was like, what are you doing? I couldn't believe it, I was shocked, I was so shocked and really, really happy and really nervous. You tried the phone there. I did, I was like, I always, when I did the same for live at the Apollo, I was like, sorry, boom, put the phone down. I said, so I was really excited and then when I got there, everyone was so nice, so lovely, like Alex, Greg, everyone, people in front of the camera and behind the camera, the two andes who were the exacts on it. I was trying to make up some stuff for them. I was trying to call one of them AD, AC, DC, because they were very initials and they were like, no, it does not, it was like, shut up. I want to bring you into it guys, just leave it with me. They were so nice and yeah, it was great to do. I was going for a massive break up at the time, man, I was like crying in between takes and they were so lovely. It was my birthday, they were enjoying the fit they were recording. They were so kind, they got me a cake, they did me a birthday card in the taskmaster, I hate the tasks and stuff and it was so nice doing it and then coming off of it, when it came out and that, just the response has been phenomenal. It's great because I still live on and then a state. So I feel like I'm just a girl from the hood. And then people in suit, like can I have your picture? I'm like, what? So I find it, I still get on the bus and people like, what are you doing here? Why haven't you got a show for? I'm like, what are you talking about? Real. You know, back in the day, if someone asked for my picture in a store, I think they're banning me from the store. I think this is to put up a say, do not let this person in the store anymore. It's like, no, this is just, that's amazing. I'm always happy to like, I don't mind people asking, I sometimes I offer it and people look at me, they're like, no, no, thank you. I'm like, oh God, am I crazy? I just offer it because I know people as far as I do. That's what he did to Mr. Motivator. Mr. Motivator, I wanted to give you a video where you were like, I want a photo please. So you need to accept that when I do that to you. How was that? How do you find this is a weird one, but how do you find things like that when you are going through emotional times? Like you said, you're having a big break up at that point. Often, I think in general, when the world is miserable, either your personal world or the wider world, I always say, staring to art and creativity and stuff like that. If there's anything that can make you realize who the fuck you are essentially, it's doing something like task force. It's kind of beautifully timed in that you get to go, you know what? I know, look at who I am. Look at what's going on rather than having that period of wallowing or whatever it might be. So, was that perfectly timed or the worst time? No, it was because it was a destruction. Yeah. So from the feelings, but also I'm very professional. Like I have a switch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been turned up to gigs and I have not felt myself and I'll be crying. And they're like, and I'm like, listen, I can't do this. And they're like, Fatty, you're on in like two minutes. I'm like, brother, I can't do this. And then I hear them go, welcome to the stage. And I'm like, and then I come back and I'm like, well, hello, you know, so I do, I'm very professional. I never let the two worlds bleed into each other. I'm always aware that this is a job for me. It's not like. So, so again, it goes back to that delivering, having to deliver to you. So the people that have come to see you, making sure they're having a good time. I am like a, I like to look after people. I always put people first. I'm a bit of a feeder as well. Like if you tell me you like something, I'll bite for you like every day. You did. Yeah. So that's just the way I am. I like to make people happy. Yeah. Obviously not to my detriment, but it was, it was a good distraction. And it never got in the way of any of the film. And I was only, because I filmed it in April and June. So it was only in the April one. Yeah. Yeah. Because it just happened a week before I was, I started to feel men. So I was like, yeah, that's amazing to be able to flick that switch though and go, no, we've got to get this work done. Yeah. And then to do how you did on it, like to absolutely excel. And so how was it when it then started to air? Because as you say, is one of those weird shows that people are fanatical about? Yeah. I've never missed an episode. It's one of them I just think it's astounding. So it, it must feel very different when you're filming it, when you're there doing it, particularly when you're going through some shit. So you're just going to hold it together. So when it's then coming out and you're on the estate and, you know, people suddenly you're seeing a lot more of you. Yes. Or you may be getting noticed a lot more. How was it when that started to go out? And as I said, you were highlighted as one of the, like the breakout stars of it. So how was that? It was, it was insane. It was, I was getting a bit of shit after the first episode because people like, you, well, why didn't you do the task? Because I was doing the task. They wanted us to jump. Can you, can you look at me? Do you, I look like I'm someone that can fucking jump? Like, do you know what I'm saying? Like, and so people were just being really shitting. And I was like, what is your problem? And then loads of like, you know, saying, oh, you're not doing it properly or this is you're the worst content. You're so lazy. I'm like, your mom's lazy. And so. And then as it got on, they got to know me. And then I was, and then I brought people around. Yeah. I think at the beginning, a lot of people didn't like me. People don't realize that, that, you know, everyone on these shows is honed at there at what they can bring. Yes. I mentioned earlier, a, a gemali. Last time I spoke to him, I said, my favorite thing about buzz cox is how absolutely disinterested he seems in every single episode. And now, no, he's not. He's a professional. He's just very good at what he does. But that's what makes him so funny in that. And similarly, you're going to play up to certain things and, and, and, and, and act it in a certain way to go, no, this is, this is why I'm here. It's not that I'm ungrateful. It's not that I don't want to do this. Exactly. And people don't get that. I'm happy to say no to Alex. Yeah. And bully him. Yeah. But then as, as the episodes went on, I think people started to warm to me. And then it was really nice. People would stop in me, like in the street and go, and I love John Tarsmastor. To this day, I still get people saying, I love John Tarsmastor. It's so nice. And then I get messages. People go, oh my god, I'm just catching up with Tarsmastor. I've just seen your episode. Oh, it's a, a your series. I loved it. And that. So, a lot of love for sure, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. How important is, or how much do you think about the importance of what you're doing at times for representation for, for girls who wear a hijab for the Muslim community and also, things like how, how much do you think about that going? Well, it's important that I'm here because I need to represent, but then also it's important that I'm me. So I can go what you might think isn't, I can still be who I want to be. Exactly. It's, it's a double edge sword for me because I can only be myself. Yeah. I'm swearing. I'm aggressive. This is the way I am. Yeah. That's part, that's a persona that of me on stage. That is also part of me. Like, I can't, I'm a very kind person and a very nice, but if you've fuck with me, I will fuck you up, you know, that kind of thing. I don't take any nonsense. So it's difficult representation because I haven't done, I've gone into like, I started comment. I started wearing my hijab when I was 23. So and now I'm 44. So it's been a long time. It's not something. I had no idea. My mom's always like, Fetty, how you are 44, but your brain is shit because she's always like, you never act your age and stuff. So and then this, the jeans, I get really good jeans from my mom and dad. They don't look their age at all. My mom's the same age as Mr. Motivator and she looks my age. So yeah, representation is difficult because obviously I haven't gone into this to represent. It just happens that I'm a Muslim woman who wears a hijab, who's visibly identifiable as Muslim. And then sometimes I do get shit for like, because Muslim community wants me to represent them in a certain way. And I can't do that. I can only be myself, you know. And so there's some people that like it and there's some people that don't like it. And I get, I do get shit a lot from the community saying, you're not a Muslim, you're not this, you're not that. I mean, I don't know if you're like me, but there'd be a certain pride on pissing off people on both sides. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're the right kind of Muslim. Just not people who don't want Muslims on TV or wherever it's like, yes, let's have you both. Come on, let's do this. Definitely. This guy once commented on one of my posts on Instagram and he was like, you're not a proper Muslim, you should just take your hijab off. And I replied to him and I said, listen, I've got money. I don't have money, by the way. I just said that to him. I go, I go, listen, I've got money. I said, I will get a private detective and I will pick your life to pieces. And then we'll find out who's the real Muslim and who's not. And he deleted his comment. I was like, that's right. Back, right up into that hole that you came from and never let me see your mug again. I love it. Like, I love it. I love it. I love it. Astut toise, ma'am, my storytelling cansa and the father of the young man in Tarinoel who has been in the area of the Udele. The storytelling is now 60 years old. life's better with a story. How do you find that kind of new exposure then? Like that kind of growing on social media, I guess, having more of a public profile, being more, not having to answer to people, but people expecting you to have to answer to my guess. And find that side of it. Strange, like really strange. People messaging me saying, why are you not speaking up for this? Why are you not speaking? I'm like, what? I have spoken up. Like, I'm sorry, who are you? Yeah. Like, you know, to answer, say, like, I don't even know you, like, how dare you? Yeah. So people do expect that. I get mad at that than people saying anything offensive. Yes, I agree. I ignore my DMs in general, but the every now and then I've browsed and someone has said, like, why aren't you speaking up on this? And it's like, I spoke up on this fucking five years ago before you knew what this was and all this kind of experience, because I've not shared the story that you thought I was going to share or whatever I've done, the, the, the performative. Yes. And thing on this particular topic or this particular issue at the moment, yes. Where the people try to govern whatever people are or are not. And why are you working with this person? Why are you working with that? I'm like, I'm sorry, like, what are you talking? Like, who are you? Yeah. You know, and so I don't like that part of it. I find it. So we're part of the modern entertainment. And I guess is that access people feel they can access you in that way? Yes. Exactly. And demand as well. I'm like, no, but I've like, I don't know who you think you are. I'm not these other comedians. Like, I'll knock you out. Like, are you talking to me? Are you mad? Yeah. Real. But you know, like what you said, like supermarket people recognizing you, that I will never get over. I just find it really odd. I'm always pleasant and I'm always happy to talk to people. I don't mind people stopping me. I don't mind people asking for pictures. Or just a chat. I don't mind any of that. Yeah. I just find it so surreal because I'm just a girl from the hood. Do you know what I mean? Like I was shouting at crackheads in the bin chain. That you know, I'm saying it. Yeah. Yeah. Like two days ago. I went to a premiere of a thing I was acting in earlier this week. And before and a couple of people came up and asked for a photo. And I had photos of chat and for ages afterwards. Anyone that came up for a photo, I was real quick. Because I was like, you're only asking because you've just seen me. I'm screaming like five minutes ago. You didn't give a shit. But now, so this isn't even about me. This is just, were you up there just now? Can we? Like the people who asked before, I was like, let's talk courageous. I'll get us in good light. In words, the light coming from this at the angles right. But yeah, I mean, speaking of social media. And we can talk about this as much or as let as you want. But I want to thank you for a post you did recently on social media. That was incredibly personal and open. Okay, okay. I'm going to interrupt here because as you will have heard, I've just referenced an Instagram post that Fatty had did. And then we jump in to talk about it without actually, I realized without actually explaining off the about what it is. I don't want to briefly explain. So I'm going to read the words of Fatty's Instagram post because it was truly fantastic. It's a long one, but I think it's worth it's worth hearing. So this was posted on the 16th of February and it says this a year ago on the 7th of February, I was at a gig waiting to go on stage and I got a call from my GP. He was calling me regarding results for a test I'd had the week before, a trans vaginal scan and internal scan of my womb. He said that the scan showed something abnormally my wound and I would need to go for further tests urgently. I was sent for two other tests, MRI and his dross could be when the results were back. I saw a consultant who told me that the tests didn't show anything abnormal, but from the initial scan, they suspected cancer. So he recommended that I have a precautionary hysterectomy. He said it's possible that it isn't cancer, but the only way we could know for sure is if I had the operation. I agreed to have the operation. I had the hysterectomy on the 12th of May 2025. I decided to have my ovaries removed to because I knew that if it was cancer, and I still had my ovaries, I'd need chemo and possibly more surgery. I went into surgery at 2.30 pm and woke up at 7 pm the same day. I woke up in menopause. It was a forced medical menopause. I had a follow-up appointment with the consultant on the 11th of June 2025, where he confirmed that I had cancer. It was stage one endometrial cancer. Thankfully, I didn't need chemo, further treatment or surgery because it had not spread beyond my womb. So they were able to remove it all. The consultant referred me to a menopause clinic and said I would be seen in about two weeks' time. I got an appointment later in August for an appointment in December 2025. The toughest and most painful part of all of this is the menopause. I have had an organ removed and I've lost vital hormones overnight. It's been so difficult. People think menopause is hot flashes and mood swings, but it's so much more than that. It's low mood, vaginal dryness to the point where it's painful. Changing appetite, dry skin, changing hair, depression, memory problems, to name just a few. Also symptoms differ from person to person. I was going out of my mind while I was waiting for the menopause clinic appointment. I was crying every day. I was depressed and sad. I felt lost. I felt stuck in my mind and body. There was no help for me. I felt alone and abandoned. I kept on calling them to chase my appointment and they just kept on telling me to wait. I couldn't wait any longer. So I ended up going private for my menopause care. I wasn't able to have HRT hormone replacement therapy because I'd had cancer. So instead, the doctor recommended supplements and vitamins, which have really helped me. I'm still healing physically and hormoneally, but thankfully I'm doing so much better. Why am I sharing this now? Well, firstly, it's my story and I can share it if I like and whenever I like. I wanted to share my story for all the people that are suffering now and that will suffer with menopause. For the people like my mum and grandmother who suffered before me with absolutely no support or treatment. For all the work that's still left to do for the people who cannot advocate for themselves and are suffering in such silence, we have to do more menopause ain't a joke. It changes your life forever physically, mentally and hormonally. At first, I felt shame after my operation. I had keyhole surgery. I have five cuts along my abdomen from my right side to my left side. Post surgery was really hard. I couldn't do anything for myself. Basic stuff was impossible like sitting upright, coughing, sneezing, laughing, going to the toilet. I couldn't lift anything, pick up my shoes off the floor or do my shoe laces. I wasn't able to bend at the waist until Christmas. I felt so helpless and this made me feel ashamed. I didn't want to tell anyone outside of my chosen people what happened to me. Looking back at it now, being working class, I have this mentor of can't stop won't stop. Must keep working, must keep striving because I don't have a backup plan of safety net. It's me for me. I'm strong. I'm tough. And I think this is why I was ashamed because I had become weak and I had to rely on others for help, which is something I never do. I also didn't want any sympathy from anyone. I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me. If you've seen me post up and I've asked you to lift something for me, fetch something for me, if you've dropped something in front of me and I haven't been able to get it for you, if you've needed help with your bags and I haven't been able to help you, if I've cancelled gigs, if you've seen me going downstairs backwards or really slowly, if you've helped me get off a seat, if I've said no to stuff, if you've seen me rubbing my abdomen, holding it for protection, holding it or protecting it from people with bloody backpacks, you now know why. I'll stop there because there's more, but the rest is, is beautiful and personal, but you know, that doesn't explain more. Head over to to fatty's Instagram to hear more. Anyway, on with the conversation. One of my best mates Amy had to have a full medical hysterectomy a few, a few years back, she had cysts on her ovaries, had to have ovaries, everything I removed. And she felt the only reason she was in any way prepared was because she's got older sisters who've gone through the men of pause, who've gone through all different things. In fact, when me and her were talking about it the other night, we kept saying it was different for her because she's a lot older than you. That's why when you said, I'm 44, I thought, what excuse me? We've been talking a week as if you're in your 20s. Well, what is going on here? But you, you were really open in this post about some medical issues you've had. And how hard it's, it's been how important you, or what makes you feel it's important to talk about those kind of things and make sure it's something that people can hear and relate to maybe. I guess for me, I have been talking about it on a little bit on stage, but in a jockey way, not like a serious cryy way or anything like that, because it was my, I drove the mad in there. They wanted to like, they were like, I hope this girl don't wake up because I was shouting. Really? Not in no, because they were like, I was in, I was really scared on crying. And they were like, when I went down, when I went down to have the operation, they put in the first lot of anesthetic. And then I started to relax. It felt so good. And I was like, you fucking break. Why didn't you give me this before? And he was like, okay, the second batch is going in. And then I was like, listen, if I'd gone there, there'd better be a museum in there to pray for my body. Do you hear me? And he was like, yeah, yeah, we'll make sure I was like, you better make sure I swear. I know. That's the last things I remember. I like the show. I know them. So I'll make a soul talk about that jockey side of it. But the reason why I just wanted my truth to be out like my version of the story. Not my, it's not my. story, my version of the fact of what happened to me, I didn't expect it to get that much response. And for me, I guess I never got over the, what really hurt me was the fact that I felt ashamed. I don't know why I just felt ashamed of it. And I felt so, when I, after the surgery, like I was so, I couldn't do anything for myself. I had to rely on my sister to do everything for me. My mother, she needs my aid. She needs to have her sister, her mom, and her dad there to pick up the things that she does every day as a single mom. It's like it took three people minimum to do these things. Because in her mind, she was like, well, I'm going to be off work, but I've still got to do the housework. I'm still got to do this. And it's like, no, you can't do anything. No, you can't. It was really tough. But like, yeah, just getting up from the couch, getting like, I remember I was getting some grapes and I dropped one and I couldn't pick it up. I had to wait until my sister came to pick it up. And that was really hard for me. I was crying. I was like, I can't do that. It's really tough. So I just wanted to share it. And I got a lot of closure. I did a project, which isn't coming, hasn't come out yet. It will. And I can't talk about it, like going to detail about it, but because I've signed an NDA. But I did a project with Richard and some other celebrities, Richard Herring. Yeah. And he, because he's had cancer as well. Yeah. And he really helped me get closure internally on it. Like, that's great to hear. Yeah. That's, and he was like, Fatih, you share yours, because I shared my story in this project that's going to come out. That was the first time I spoke about it. And I remember saying it out loud on set and looking around at everyone, like, what's going to happen? You know, like, I don't know. It was such a weird feeling. And he really helped me find closure. Do you think that shame is there because it's an issue that a woman is going through rather than an issue. A man is going through because I think so much of the science behind it all is ignored is not talked about. My, again, my friend going on to HRT, which I think a lot of people can't, if there's been cancer and he's involved, but her move on to HRT was something she felt she had to false. And then it was a life changer. And she's got a lot of friends who could probably do with that. But don't because of some kind of shame around the feeling like it's, yeah, I don't know what the shame could or would be, but it's there and it's part of that. Whereas, like, I remember Richard podcasting through the whole experience of his secure cancer kind of things. It's like, it's different when it's, it's many times. And there is more shame attached to a to women going through anything that is to do with their, their reproductive organs with all these different things because it's seen as society, such a key part of what makes a woman supposedly. How was it to get rid of that shame then? How was it to kind of be released from that? Oh, I felt I remember when, because when Richard helped me through it so much, like, I love him so much, I would die for that man. I would do anything for him. Like, he is like an angel, you know, sent to help me, you know, the relief. I felt such relief. But, you know, posting about and seeing all the comments. Some women haven't even had a follow-up appointment. Some women have had the same operation as me. Haven't even had a follow-up appointment. Like, what are you like? So it's like, it's been really, it's a weird experience because it's been really nice to have all these lovely women like reach out. And to also know, I'm not the only one that's gone through to have this experience and gone through this and felt passionate. It feels for all these other people. Yes. Again, when it can be, I've had this in the past when we do these posts or whatever, because it's to let's to get something off your own shoulders or your own back or your own to get it out of your head. And it's only after that, you realise how many people needed to hear this. And how much you would have loved to have seen someone talk about all this stuff when you were going through it and when you were struggling. Because again, you're addressing universal things here, because it's not only cancer, it's not only hysterectomy, it's menopause, effects and things like that. All these different things, it's like, these are all so relatable. I remember Marma Amy bringing me up because she thought, laughing now, because she thought she might have Alzheimer's because she was forgetting everything and all this, she didn't know that that was part of her going through this medically-calls menopause essentially. And she was like, I'm forgetting everything, the girls I'm going to be doing, I'm forgetting this. She was really panicked. And we kind of together did a bit of research. She was like, no, I don't think you are. I don't think it's that. I think it's this. And that kind of thing isn't discussed in debate. It's so people, it's said particularly if they're not even getting a follow-up, months off, they're not going to know that it's not that. And there are options and there are things that can be done and things that change and your body evolves as well in these things. So yes, it's so important to talk about that kind of thing. Is there anything you feel you wish you knew going in other than that there would be a Muslim there to pray over you if you don't have that? You wish you knew going in there. I, what I think needs to happen is if people are going to have that operation because when you have natural menopause, that normal menopause, the change, the change, I'll do that in the equates, happens gradually. When you have a medical one, you go to sleep, fatia and you wake up fatia menopause, which is two different people. So it is insane. I cannot tell you like, I wanted to kill myself. It was crazy. I was on the edge. I had to go private to get menopause care. And even that I feel bad about because when I read the comments from the women, I'm like, oh my god, there's so many women. I haven't had, yeah. And I feel so bad about that post. I'm torn about that post to be honest because half of it is like, oh my god, other women feel the same way. And then the other half is, oh my god, there's still these women that are suffering. Yeah, but I think it's great to have something that gives people, you know, somewhere to have an outlet to go, oh, this is what I went through. And even if it is an Instagram post, it sounds so weird to say the Instagram post is an outlet, but it really is. And again, having these discussions, I think, particularly when women are going on to things like HRT, it's about finding the right balance with my friend Amy. It was easier because they removed her ovaries as well, weirdly, because she was producing nothing. It was really easy to control, because it's like, well, we're putting this amount of this in. Whereas when your body is producing some, it can be a learning curve. So it's important that women know that it's not just you try this, and it doesn't work immediately. Yes. HRT doesn't work for everyone as well. Some people don't get on with it completely and stuff. So again, with my mate, she had to switch clinics a few times, because all in HS, but one place she went to, I won't name them. She had three names then, but one place she went to wasn't helping her. And she switched somewhere else and they went, oh, no, that's horrible. Here's what we can do. Here's what the solutions are. So it shouldn't be that hard, but it's also important that people know that it's not a one stop-arts and necessarily, if the place you've gone isn't getting you any results, there are. You shouldn't feel that you're doomed. Yes, exactly. Because I've seen three doctors, one NHS, one or two private, and it was the second private one that really helped. Who I've put in the post. It's just amazing to know, because I said, if you're going through it and you've gone and seen someone, because that's the thing that is the big step at times, then you might feel I've done my best. This version of Fatiere is who I am now. That can be really overwhelming. That can be insurmountable. I was so worried about going back into comedy, going back on stage, because you said, like, your friend, you forget stuff, even to this day, sometimes I'll be frozen. I'll be on the tip of my tongue, but it just won't come out. And it's one thing to joke about smacking someone in a face. If you're smacking someone in the face every night at a gig, that ain't going to be as good as, not going to go down as well. Now, that's amazing. And as I said, it was really, it's a powerful post. I can't wait to see whatever the format is that you're enriched and everyone are talking about these things, because that sounds fascinating. Another thing that when I was doing my research, I found fascinating, is a show or a pilot that you've done for Radio 4, a match made in Shala, because it sounds just like an amazing concept of a mixture of recent reality. Explain what the show is a little bit, because I've read about it. It sounds like the best thing of it. And I'll confess, I don't listen to loads of Radio. I don't pop the Radio on at home, but it's instant. I need to dig this out. So it's called a match made in Shala. And in Shala, I mean, God willing. Yeah. And it's about my dating life, basically. So I actually get a guy and go on a date with him. Yeah. And then record the date. This is a bit of a, that sounds amazing. So much of this is just the reality. So yeah, we just went like, and I was like, he obviously knew what was going to happen. He was informed and everything. It's important. That's it. Exactly. I'm not about getting sued. And then we just had like a normal date, just to chat how you would when you're getting to know someone on a first date and stuff like that. Then I made a show about it. The things I liked, things I didn't like. The things he said, the things I said, red flags, green flags, all that kind of stuff. And then you're just done it on stage. How much have you run any of it past the guy? The No, no, we just, I told him that I said to him, it's not about like I won't be putting you down. I won't be, there'll be nothing like that. There'll be no punching down. That's not my style anyway. So you have to be a bit smart about it. You have to bring the jokes back to yourself somehow. And not direct it. It kind of like him. So yeah, and that's that's what I did. It was so fun. It was so fun. The recording was fun. It was fun. It was really good. How do you find projects like that? Because I think it can be really freeing weirdly to have restrictions. So your restriction is you're going on one day and you're right about that. It's not, I've got an hour to feel it can be about anything. So you're going on this and then you've got to get the material from that. It's kind of great to have that focus right to be really focused on it. And here's what it's going to be. Yes, most definitely. It's easier to write jokes around it when it's that as well. It's more focus. Yeah, because sometimes I can go on a tangent. I've got a writing partner. I've got a short called Donkey that I did with the BBC. And when we, so we wrote that together. And when we do our writing sessions, we spend like an hour just chatting shit. And he'll be writing down so much shit that I'm just chatting. And I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, I've got a good idea for this episode. What about you know, and I'm like, what? We were just talking. Yeah. It's going on a full use. Exactly. So it was nice to have, like you said, that structure of being like, this is what you have to do. Yeah, it was good. I was the themes and things of the big two, the big show, Cockney's, Dackin Dole. How's that? What are you doing on that show? What's the? So that's an introduction to me. I feel like, so I called it Cockney Stackin Dole because Cockney, because I'm from the East End. Yeah. And then Stackin Dole, because this got two meanings to it. So the first one is a Stackin Dole, is that Babushka Dole, that Russian Dole that goes into it. So, and a guy said that to me one. Well, a few people have said that to me. They were like, are you Russian? And I'm like, are you unwell? What do you mean I'm Russian? What the hell makes you think I'm Russian? And then they're like, oh, because you look like a Babushka. And I'm like, rough shut up. And the Babushka looks like me. So, and then Babushka has, Lena's got lots of little things inside it. And I've got layers to me. I know like, I do come across as like aggressive, but also very sweet because I look young. People, people like, oh, she's just a dumb teenager. I'm not really. And I'm just a bitch. But so, it's about looking at those different layers as well and introduction to myself for introduction. Yeah, I love it. And you're doing a big show in Hackney, right? How exciting is that? Very, very exciting for me. Doing your home, like hometown, I've done the Hackney Empire before, but I haven't, I've done other people's shows and stuff. Not something just for me. And Hackney Empire is like, it's iconic as well. Like in the area and for for decades showcasing the full spectrum of society. Like so many iconic black, brown, and white comedians and performers in general have done big shows at the Hackney Empire. So that must mean a lot to go and do your thing there. Yeah. And I remember going there as a child watching plays there with our school and stuff like that. And now on behind the scene, like I'm on the other side of that. That's crazy. Yeah. That's I still when I do my shows, like when I'm doing like my working progress is the warm up shows and writing, you know, like new material and I was working up to the tour. Like I just find it shocking that people have come to see me. I'm like, I'm sorry, are you sure? Yeah. Yeah. Someone giving you these tickets. Let's go on. I find it so odd because I still see myself just like this normal girl from like an estate. You know what I mean? I just I'm like, what's that in mind? How'd you find going on all these different TV shows and stuff? Because again, that's another thing where it's like people and again, you've been doing this for a decade. So it's it's it's earned. But people are fighting to get on these shows. It's weird how comedy is now because these weird little shows on Dave or whatever else or these podcasts are all like it's you you're fighting for that slot. How do you feel going on them again still saying yourself as just someone of the estate? Yeah. The pressure. Yeah. I'm just like I still find it so crazy doing these shows and like being on stuff and you know, when I get a show and then I'll tell my family and they're like, Oh my god, I can't believe it. Oh my god. I'm so oh my god, you know, and I'm like, wow, wow. It's crazy. I have a body experiences. I don't know. I like dissociate. Because I'm like, this can't be happening to me. You know, I'm still in the WhatsApp group on my estate. I'm still in the only cell. I was on it this week blasting people. I'm the way. They're saying, go and I'm like, somebody's left a mess in the lift. If you don't clean it, I'm coming to your house. You know, and then people messaging me, go, and what are you doing? You can't find the house. I can see you see you on the last leg tonight. You ain't coming nowhere. It's pre-recorded actually. Now that's man, that must be again, it's it's a beautiful combination. I always remember I did a gig with for Robin in back in the day and it was like the queue were doing a set. Stuart Lee was doing a bit, Partridge was doing a bit, all these things. And I just got up and did my bit bit briefly and then just sat there watching in awe. And then I've got the train home to where I've always lived in Essex. And on the train home, three girls from Tielb, we tried to steal my shoes and set fire to my beard. So if ever I was going to get an ego, it was like, no, no, it keeps you humble. Living in these areas keeps you mad humble. First, I wanted to put makeup on me and then they wanted to steal my shoes and set fire to my beard. It's like, you know, he's a fucking figure. I'll make you can't get anywhere with this. How do you find, again, this is this is a combination of all the things, but because of that, that thing you did about, you know, finding a man, how do you find dating with number one, having, because it's tough being a comedian anyway, because there's the fear that you're going to turn into a bit. If it goes bad, you're going to turn into a bit. But then all the time, if you're on TV, all these different things are weird, the perception is different. And again, you have to, like as you've said, with social media with people being weird, there's also a heightened level of caution that's required, because you're now a public figure. So yeah, how do you navigate that? And a lot of the guys, if when I start talking to them, they go, listen, I know who you are. And I go, all right. And then they're like, listen, the one thing is that you never talk about me or I'll say on stage. And I'm like, excuse me, well, I write this down. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm like, I don't mind respecting people's boundaries. That's all good. A lot of men feel intimidated. A lot of men surely, surely behave with a level of respect that you're expecting to be talked about on stage, behaving away that if you're talked about on stage, it's going to reflect well. If you're saying don't talk about me on stage, it means you're going to sound like a piece of shit between your planning on acting like a piece of shit. Exactly. Act correctly. Exactly. You're only going to be talked about warmly on stage, surely. Exactly. Sounds like some people are telling on themselves early on. Yeah. That's true. Like the right there and warning yellow flag warning warning. So yeah, it's difficult. So some of them are like, I don't want to be on TV. I'm like, who said you're going to be on TV? Are you crazy? I'm not fighting your TV. Yeah. No one's telling you. And I have to really, really sure, and be like, listen, I will protect your privacy. Like, I'm not really a, like, I don't really, I don't go to these events. And I only get sometimes I get invites. And I'm like, am I on the award? Am I getting it? Am I up for an award? Then I'm not going in like, I'm not into that ask kissing and all that stuff. I'm just like, no, if I'll go to support someone, I'll go for work, but I'm not going to go to socialize. I don't like that's just not my thing. Weirdly, it was a mate of mine who lives in Hackney that really highlighted that exact outlook for me because I got an invite to some premier and hit him up again. Do you want to come along to this? I'm excited about this. We only miss him again. It's on at the cinema and Hackney next week. I'm up for watching it there on Thursday, but I'm not really up for going and putting on a suit and being in central and I was like, yeah, no, that's a good point. We get quite, but we'll go in the daytime. It's all it's all good rather than, yeah, get caught up in that, in that madness. Well, speaking of you, like, going to see things as a kid at the Hackney Empower, all that coming, you've written a kid's book as well, The Perks of My Hijab, which just as a name, it sounds amazing. Talk to me a little bit about that and how that's come about and what the, yeah. It's like a teen book. It's like 11, 12, 13, 14. It's about a young girl who is 12, who starts to wear a hijab and then she realizes there's all these perks to wear in hijab. You can hide your food under there. You don't have to iron your uniform. All you can have about hair day. You can have your air pods in and no one will know. You listen to music during class, all that kind of stuff. And then something happens. I just used her detective skills and hiding behind her hijab to try to get to the bottom of this thing that's happened. So it's a book about, I guess, self-discovery. There's fun. It's also fun. Obviously, it's a kid's book. So yeah, there's this fun, self-discovery, being proud of who you are. Although sometimes you come up against obstacles, but still, be proud of who you are and stick into that. I love it. So yeah, it's amazing. What kind of kid will you? Did you always know that you wanted to be in the entertainment industry or that comedy or TV or whatever would be a thing? No, it just happened. I didn't, I felt like I did, I did want to do like drama and acting and theatre and I did do that in like as school for GCSEs and then A levels and then I went to university but I didn't stay. I didn't have to leave because I had to work but I went to university and I did like a design degree but I didn't finish it. I did exactly the same. I did a photography degree in at to leave because I was like I'm getting mad at it. Exactly. For something that probably isn't going to mean anything so it's just not viable. Yeah, no exactly. So yeah, I didn't really, there wasn't really anyone that looked like me on TV and everyone on TV is thin and like model-like and beautiful and all this and I'm not any of those things. So I was like, oh, they're never, there's no point and then also they're going to want me to kiss someone or take my clothes off and I can't do that. Yeah. As a Muslim woman and I know I just don't want to do that as a woman. There's so much more to us than our boobs and bum. So yeah, I never thought that would be a path for me. I just fell into comedy to be honest. I was on a website looking for like a walking group in my area and yeah, and a pop-up. Remember you used to get pop-ups and that and it just came up and said, why don't you try stand up comedy and I was like, all right, and that was it. That honestly, that was it. I just fell into it. Yeah. You look for a walking group. You end up with a career in stand-up instead. But I wouldn't change it. I love this so much. The amount of women that come up to me and say, and people and say thank you for representing, thank you for giving us a voice. Thank you for all these things because I've worked really hard. I don't, my dad's not a director. My mom's not an actress. I don't come from money. I'm not best friends with people in the industry. I'm not those, and just the girl. And I worked really hard. I've done the gigs where there's no one, it's me and a dog. I've done those gigs where it's been really tough. People are not laughing. I've done gigs into silence. I've done gigs that are aggressive and I've had to like, rather than doing stand-up, just cuss people with moms for like 20 minutes. I've had gigs where men have waited for me outside and want to fight me. All that kind of stuff. And so I've worked really hard. I've put the time in. Like I've got the substance. I'm not just, you know, here because of people I know or stuff like that. So I'm proud. And it's really nice when people come up to you and go, I love what you do. I love it. And people go and you inspire me. It's crazy. The amount of young women that message me, especially hijabi women, and say, I really want to do stand-up. I get men as well. Every little night and they go, I really want to do stand-up. I'm scared. And then I don't, I'm like, just do it. You've got nothing to lose. Maybe do a course. You go, nothing can teach you to be funny. You either are or you ain't. But it can teach you confidence and helps you build a comedy network as well and learn about the circuit and stuff like that. So I always tell people do that. But it's, yeah, when people, it's crazy. When I get these lovely messages from people, when people say, I've had a bad day, but I watch your video and it made me laugh whenever I'm having a shitty day. I always work. You know, that's crazy. Do you know how much that that makes me cry? Oh, yeah. It's mad. I'm like, what? I'm just a girl. I love it. It's beautiful to hear. You touch upon something really interesting because, but how do you find acting now? Because you've acted in a few things and absolutely smashed it. But like, good friend of mine, good can't. Again, it's, it's something I didn't consider until I knew, it goes. But there's certain things he can't do on film because it's against, it's not her am. It's kind of against his religion. Yes. So, so it's a really interesting restriction, I guess. So what, how do you approach acting roles or acting jobs? Is it just kind of making sure in advance it's something, I guess, that you can do? That is that you're comfortable with? Yes. So, so when the, if you get offered a role or I don't, after audition for everything, I don't just get like, you've had stuff, you just make it clear with them, like, sensitively. Usually my agent will deal with that. Yeah. Just to be like, listen, you know, can't do this, can't do that. Sometimes you take a role and then, and then afterwards, they want to change it into something like this. And I'm like, no, I'm sorry, these are my, yeah, these are my, and they're usually really good about it. Because it's really interesting, because often when the casting process is happening, like the full scripts aren't written yet, after this full. So, there is a lot that could change in the role. So, yes. It's something that people that don't realize has to be navigated for you and your agent again, good that you've got an agent who can do that. Have those awkward conversations, I guess. Yes. Yeah, that's fascinating. Is acting something you see more of and want to do more of? Yeah, I'd like to. I'd like, I've got a short, my short, donkey. I'd love for that to be a series. And in that, I'm looking for love and I'm dating. And but I'm able to portray that without having to kiss anyone. Yeah. Yeah. Because I remember growing up, I'm Moroccan. And I remember growing up watching that Moroccan TV. And you could always, you could see the love and the relationship between the couple. They were just, they never expressed it physically. Yeah. Yeah. But you still understood there was, there was intimacy without nakedness. Beautiful. Because it removes that shortcut, that easy fix of, I want to express that they're passionate for each other. So we'll put a sex scene in here. Yes. What if you can't? Yes. How are you going to express that if you can't? You've got to express it with actions and with words and with movements and with things that are happening. So that's that's really interesting. Because yeah, that's a good restriction to false laziness out of the room. Lazy right in on lazy this or that. Absolutely. Because again, so many films is building up to the big kiss. Yes. The big moment is the big kiss. Yes. How would you have the big moment if you couldn't just have that easy fix? Exactly. I love that. So that's so as so yeah, I would like to maybe act more for death for sure. I'm happy to do it all. I love it. The only thing I'm scared of is like theatre. I would do it if something came up that I liked and and stuff. But because theatre is. Where it isn't it? Because I'm the same. I've had people for a while kind of say, oh, you should do theatre and it scares me so much. Yet I spent the bulk of my career on stage because I come from rap. It's like I was on stage for years. Yet action on camera really up for a door. Like I get so excited. It's such a bar to be there and to be involved. Yes. Act on stage somehow terrifies me. Why? Like we've both spent years on stage. So it should be. I just think because you've got these lines and you have to stick to them. And you know, because we and it's responsibility of someone else as well. Yes. Like when I saw a friend of mine do he was part of a play recently and it was a one man piece and everyone was watching and I don't know how you do that for a full hour just on your own. And I was like, I get that more. That appeals to me more because I'm used to being one man on my own for an hour. It's the thing of being part of everyone else. And then if I fuck my line up, I do this or that. Exactly. Yeah, no, it's because and also we have a habit of like if you were to fuck it up, you'd probably add lib. You'd know how to get out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't do that on, you know, because then if you fuck up your line, that's going to affect the next person. Yeah. Then it might not make sense if you start adlib in when they come in with their next bit or you're when I mess up, I'm just like, oh, guys, I really fuck out. Can you just delete it from your memory? And I'm going to try it again in three minutes. Yeah. You can't do that. I'm just like, okay, now what would it be? If you nail an adlib and they don't, don't go with it, but they just stick completely to scripture and you're like, mate, we're going over in it. I've just just changed the direction of the journey. What you're doing, well, I'm incredibly excited for all this ahead. I'll give like two dates and that in the in the outro, but the big hackney shows in September. Yes. But there's ongoing stuff from yes, yes, eight, eight, four, I start on eight, four, I think it's the 29th. Yeah, I think I'll get all of those specifics in. I think it's the 29th. Cardiff is my first day. Yeah. And then the one in hackney is on the 10th of September. Have you done a lot around the country before? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have. Yeah. So I'm looking forward to it. It's a way to buzz. Yeah. It's a different crowd and those different kinds of reactions. I love that kind of thing. Yeah. No, definitely. And you get, and you know, one of my dates were released as loads of people all over the country. And can you come here? Can you come here? And I was like, oh my god, this is so lovely. So maybe I'll add more dates. I'll see. That's because it's your first one soon. You're going to get really annoyed with that. Oh, remember that was one to know in thing of two of you announced 30 dates and all of the comments are, why aren't you coming here? It's let's talk about the places I am going for a minute. Let's give it a week of talking about the places I am going rather than straight away. Why aren't you coming here? But I like that, that outlook and that attitude. Thank you for coming and taking the time, mate. It's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you for having me. I loved it. Thank you so much. Thank you, mate. Thank you. You've been listening to Scroobean's Pips Distraction Pieces. There we go. That was Fatiha El Gauri. What a legend. What a hilarious, wonderful, warm, just brilliant person. I dored that conversation. I'm so glad to know Fatiha now. And I'm so glad to have had that conversation. So there we blooming Gauri. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. That's it for now. I'll be back next week with more just fantastic guests. Tätä, taita!