#792 - JIMMY CARR + LUIS J GOMEZ + STEVE RANNAZZISI

Hey this is RedBam and you're listening to the Desquad Podcast Network. This episode of Killtony and every episode of Killtony can be found at Desquad.tv, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out TonyHenscliff.com for everything the GoldenPony TonyHenscliff. You can also check out ShopSquad.tv for Desquad merch, hats, mugs, whatever. ShopSquad.tv. And now here's a brand new episode of Killtony. Hey this is RedBam and come to you live from the comedy mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Killtony. Get off right down it, Henscliff! Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? Make some noise for them, huh? Fernando Castillo, Roblejo, Carlos, Sosa, Chase The Great Michael Gonzalez on the drums ladies and gentlemen, Big Mike is in the house. The library and Matt Mjoling is here ladies and gentlemen on the electric guitar. The great band leader John Bees on the keys everybody. And this man right here, live in the flesh is the one and only de-madness everybody on the bass guitar tonight. The backbone. The backbone tonight. I love it. What an episode we have lined up here. How we feeling tonight everybody? Feels good in here. We have some Latinos here. We have some whites. I like it. No blacks to be found. What are we in heaven? Alright. And with that said, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made tonight's episode possible. I don't blame you guys for sliding into Heidi's DMs, but what you should be sliding into is a brand new pair of Tacobas boots. You know, when I need an instance surge of swagger confidence, that's what I do. That's what you should do. From first time buyers, from long time wears, it's something for everyone. They are made with over 200 meticulous steps with exceptional quality and virtually no break in period right out of the box comfort. I wear them day and night without a second thought, whether I'm heading out to Texas game tailgates or long weekend getaways, I love wearing my Tacobas. They offer timeless silhouettes that let you dress up or dress down for any occasion. And every time I step out in them, the compliments literally never stop red band. They offer premium genuine leathers from classic cow hide to exotics like ostrich and cow man. Plus if you swing by one of their 60 plus stores coast to coast, you'll get the hospitality and complimentary beverages. You get boot shines, boot brandings, everything. Right now, you'll get 10% off at Tacobas dot com slash Tony. When you sign up for emails and texts, that's 10% off at TEC OVAS dot com slash Tony to go for the dot com slash Tony seaside for details point your toes west. Hello there. As you can probably guess, I'm Tony Hinchcliffe. You want to watch kill Tony like you're actually sitting in the room with us? That's kill Tony plus. Every week, you get our cut of the episode uncensored, no ads and different camera angles you haven't seen before. Basically, it's the closest you can get to being at the show without actually being there. And you get it first, every Monday at 6 p.m. Central time, kill Tony plus members will get early access to the episode before everyone else in the world. And every month, there's an exclusive bonus content piece that includes Q and A episodes where I answer your questions right out of the bucket. You also get pre show AI intro videos from our live shows. Stop. You can't see anywhere else. Plus behind the scene, photos from the live shows, merch perks and more. It's kill Tony plus. And it's the next best thing to actually being at a kill Tony show. So for those of you that are ready to step to the next level as a Kill Tony fan, go to killtony.supercast.com that's killtony.supercast.com. Oh, and if you're really sick in the head, check out the absurd roast here. Send me your photo and some facts about you. And I'll roast you myself right on Kill Tony plus. Want me to roast your buddy instead? Send me there info. No refunds on emotional damage. Check it all out at killtony.supercast.com right now. You guys ready to start tonight show or what? Oh my God. This is gonna be a big one. Ladies and gentlemen, sometimes we have one guest. Sometimes we have two guests. And on very rare occurrences, I decide that a night is good enough to book three guests. One of these guests is one of my favorite comedians on the world famous from many television shows and things like that. He's also one of the co-hosts, the newest co-host of the hit podcast Legion of the Skanks. Legion of Skanks. Legion of the Skanks. Legion of Skanks. Our dear friends, our brothers in New York. The other one is one of the founding members of the Legion of Skanks and the record holder for the most all-time appearances on the show. A little fun fact. The other guest is a front runner for guest of the year 2026. Right now you're looking at the front runner of the guests of the year. He's also the returning guests of the year 2017, 2018 and 2019. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you three of the funniest stand-up comedians in the world. Jimmy Carr, Lewis J. Gomez and C. Grant is easy. Oh my God. There he is. The great Jimmy Carr, Lewis J. Gomez and C. Grant is easy. Let's go. Oh, we are going to get down to business tonight. Normally we have Jimmy Carr on solo. So this is a big pact. We're packed in like sardines tonight with one of the greatest guests in the history of the show. One more time for Jimmy Carr. His new book on show is available everywhere. He's on a world tour at Jimmy Carr.com and on Halloween his special last one laughing is available on prime video. This guy's got a lot going on. I've got a lot going on. This should be an awful lot of fun. Isn't it? Hell yeah. Excellent. It's going to be a real hoot nanny. One of our dear nasty brothers from New York. The great Lewis J. Gomez is here everybody. The record holder. For all time appearances on the show. He was in running. He was equal with the late great Brody Stevens. He's now taken over Brody's records. I actually killed him. Well, you know it. Yes, used to be my record. Can't beat it now. I'm dead. I let Lewis take that from me. Positive energy. There he is. Welcome back Lewis. I'm so excited to be here. My favorite podcast to do in the world. Kill Tony. We didn't of our brothers in New York. Of course, Sankfest. The annual comedy event of this century. There's still some single day passes available at what is that? Where is the work? Gankfest.com and Tony will be there just Sunday this year. Yes. Yeah. We got. We got Sunday. Yeah. We got double booked against. We're going to be in Vegas November 13th and 14th. Unfortunately. And then yeah, we have to take a nasty. Imagine the scum on the flight from Vegas to New Orleans on a Sunday afternoon. Me and you just me and Red Band squeezing in like this guy on a Southwest flight. Just trying. Luckily, we're not a lot to bring weapons that in which we can kill ourselves, but we're excited to go to Sankfest. There's going to be a lot of people overdosing that weekend. I hope it's Red Band. I love it. If Brad was able to be overdosed on, he would take over. Ladies and gentlemen, a big brother of mine and one of the newest co-hosts of the Legion of Skanks. Steve Ran is easy, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, baby. Thank you. Comedy store brother in. Yup. I used to house it. I used to dog sit for him when I was a little kid. I think you fuck my dog, Tony. We were me and that dog were motherfucking homies. We had a lot of bonding time. I was me. I was broke as hell. That was a wild time back in the day. It was, dude. Steve's like a big brother to me. One of the great comedy store comedians. Now one of the great obviously New York comedians. We're going to have so much fun. It's been a while since we've had three people in the panel. So it'll be a lot of fun. A lot of great stuff going to happen. I'm excited. You guys know how it works. Over 200 human souls signed up for the opportunity to be pulled out of this bucket. Absolutely anything can happen. This is a life-changing world we're in. Even though it's goofy as hell. Literally careers are made here on this show nowadays. So you guys know how it works. If I pull a name out of the bucket, they get 60 seconds uninterrupted. You know their time is up when you hear the sound of a kitten. I mean, they have to wrap it up then or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bearer. And just for fun, I'm going to let this man that looks like everybody that comes in on to catch a predator. Pulled the first name out of the bucket. The guy that just starts pouring himself the lemonade as soon as he gets into the house. I thought you said that we're gonna be cookies. He doesn't even go for the children, he goes for the lemonade and cookies, am I right, sir? Anyway, while we go wrangle that first bucket pool comedian of the night, I have an old school golden ticker winner here Now this might be a disastrous way to start the show I'm admitting this isn't it's not the lock that I like to have is the first comedian This is kind of a wild tone-setting comedian to go first, but I love her She won a golden ticket. I think eight or nine years ago in San Francisco, California Ladies and gentlemen, this is a brand new minute from an old legend. This is the return of Nicole Tran, everybody I did a comedy show for women in recovery. I Murdered that crown. I hope they recover Black comedians use the n-word a lot n-word is n-word at n-word, please I never use the n-word unless I'm watching the NBA and got money on it Are you done? Okay, I visit Austin man. I love Austin food My favorite this in Austin a filet mignon back in Vietnam. My favorite this a filet mignon All right, there it is. There's the minute. Hell yeah Panic there for a second had to get her footing again Thought she did a full minute that was good. Don't call I don't know about the women in recovery thing But man that that that that n-word betting on a game that worked I thought you did do you mind me calling you down syndrome Asian me? You you dress up like you just lost a custody battle man I mean, I think he's dressed like you would have won the custody battle. I Thought you're fantastic, but you do look like me before the surgery The call you are a wild lady. What kind of Asian are you again? Vietnam, what? Vietnam Vietnamese. Vietnamese. Yeah, Vietnamese. Why not you why? Vietnamese What's Meghan Markle's father like? If you keep interrupting me I call yellow bus to pick you up Shit what does that even mean bird car bird yellow yellow bus is that technically? They're all yellow buses. I mean exactly Wow, I love it The call it's been a while since we've seen you. What are you up to now a days? Oh, I moved back to San Jose. You moved back to San Jose. Where are you? Home town. I live in a mixed neighborhood last week. I saw my Filipino neighbor walking his lunch Wow Doing Asian jokes against other Asian Specific kind of racism See, what do you think about all this? I love it. I think we should watch some NBA games together You mean my dad we'd all fucking fire up some n bombs lose some money Did I see you and I want it poster at a VD clinic? Nicole, what else you got for us anything else we should know about before getting you out of here? Happy Halloween song you have a happy Halloween song now for those of you that don't know maybe you're newer fans Nicole Famously sang the now hit song happy new year Once on a New Year's Eve episode was that on Netflix. I think I made no, maybe not maybe that was a YouTube But in an arena on New Year's Eve here in Austin, Texas She's saying the very famous song happy new year Dr. Phil at the time joined in with her Singing so very simple lyrics. It was just happy new year But it was a hit because it was so so silly and now you have a Halloween song for us ladies and gentlemen without any further ado This isn't a cold trans happy Halloween song. Happy spooky Halloween decided a October 21st let's go out easily don't lose money Eat love a sugary don't be a junkie Getting lucky Maybe get yourself a sugar daddy or sugar mommy Then go out and Salami Okay, oh Okay, yeah, very good. That's amazing The cool trans ladies and gentlemen with the debut of her Halloween song I love it congrats you look like you got your hair cut at the Braille Institute. Oh wow. How dare you how dare that it especially hurts coming from you I mean that haircuts crazy. I didn't say anything about it. You look like a fucking an animal By the way, there's no Salami and mozzarella and Halloween you fucking baddy bitch. I'll dare you She just she just kind of learn about American Halloween What the fuck are you talking about I Can gross realist you just read your grossy list? I don't think that she wrote that song She was just said whatever came to her mind All right one more time for Nicole trans she got the things started now we go to the bucket. This is where she gets crazy This is where we find all of our regulars all of our golden tikka winners anything gonna happen. This is where it gets crazy What the fuck yeah, this is where it gets crazy the cool I can kind of count on I don't know any of these people We'll see what happens here your first fuck up whole the night ladies gentlemen goes by the name of Mohammed you all everybody one minute Uninterrupted from Mohammed you all I Also have a Halloween song is You guys know big Sean is The way he got famous was he wrapped in Kanye in a parking lot and he signed them on the spot When I first moved here. I was hoping to meet like Tony Henscliff or Joe Rogan in a parking lot Like hey, bro. What's the deal with autistic retarded trans nigger non-binary Jewish babies? Or do I sign The first time I met a fat kid was in the Des Moines Airport in 2005 January 15th at EM Central Now we've seen a fat kid before Okay Okay, Mohammed, I just have a question. What is the deal with Jewish Autistic you gave us the whole set up there. I was ready to sign you to a deal. What is the deal? What is the deal with them? What was it again Jewish what Jewish non-binary autistic? Whoa, you know what I didn't hear the N word the first time three years 45 million dollar deal. Let's go Go ahead Lewis. Can we have Nicole come back out here and sing those lyrics? I Have a feeling that if you saw Joe Rogan or Tony Henscliff in a parking lot, you shot dead immediately Not even have a chance to make it out alive, dude It's not age it would snap your neck before you even knew what the fuck was going on, dude Yeah, we've got a deal. It's a one-year nine millimeter deal That's nasty, dude. No, come on you parking lot alone me. Come on. Why would I ever get scared? Mohammed, welcome. Yeah, you've been on the show before correct how long you've been on stand up 12 years 12 years. Where at? Des Moines, Iowa, and Austin, Texas. How does a man like you end up in Des Moines, Iowa? Will you please remind us all right? So I came to this country. Did they bring you there to scare the crows away originally? Exactly. How do you and go ahead? Go ahead Don't look like a scarecrow for a cotton field dude That's a good one. Thank you So the way I got here was through United Nations in the rescue families from our warm-torn countries and so my whole that my dad's family got murdered whatever Whatever How did you know I was thinking whatever So so they got us to Egypt and they showed my mom Map of the United States and she pointed in the center and it was Des Moines, Iowa Wow My goodness what an interesting way to select your new home Was she surprised when she got to Des Moines and you guys were the only the neighbors were The neighbor said I oh, I need to move out of this neighborhood now Wow, wow Des Moines next door is scaring the hell out of me Some a homie. How long did you spend in Des Moines, Iowa? 25 20 years years. I mean, I'm just guessing here But like I'm like everyone here is assuming a little bit of a culture shock. Am I correct? Yes, so when I moved here it was snowing and I've never seen snow in my life So I stayed in the house for I didn't come outside for like a month because you were scared of it. Yeah It's awesome Skips. Oh, dude. I love it. He saw so many. He's like it's looking at me. He's the devil man But that nose looks so delicious. Yeah He's got my eyes. How does he have a better African accent than I do that's scrum. That's fucking crazy Okay, so what do you do for work mom? I work at Whole Foods. Oh wow. What department? I serve alcohol due to samples for alcohol. Wow. Yeah, you get to get high on your own supply when you're doing that. I wish no I can't I'll get fired. Right. How long have you worked there like a month maybe? Okay. What'd you do before that work at Target? Where were you doing a target that same thing? Okay But they have alcohol samples a target. Yeah, wow. I didn't know that I have mad dog 20 20 at Whole Foods. Oh Okay red band. That's go back to the sound effects there. I'm gonna Where are you going? Where are you going? Get back up there It's guys trying to get back to Des Moines, Iowa Mohammed tell us a fun fact about your life that would surprise us. Give us something good here. Uh, I got stabbed in Egypt in Egypt Yeah, who stabbed you? It was uh Egyptian kid. You guys want to see it? Yeah Oh my goodness. I mean, I guess there is a slight scar. I'd be honest dude. It's like if you were funny You would whip your dick out right now. Oh, no, it's not what you say it. Smash me with your big African car. It hits me the back of the Fel for that. He's like you see it. I really don't see it Did it black scar? It really doesn't read. Yeah It's a black-on-black scarring. Yeah Mohammed uh, did it hit any internal organs? All right, so we're playing soccer and then uh, we won the game and then after the game The kid they were mad that they lost and uh, so we got in a huge fight and uh this kid he had a uh What's it called like a Nail clip. Yeah, like with the knife thing on it. Wow, and he stabbed me and I didn't know I got stabbed So I went home. I went to bed. I went to sleep The next thing I remember is my mom waking me up or he can be up with like blood Like everywhere and I pass out and that's the last thing I remember Wow, and you woke up in Des Moines Wow You almost died from a nail clipper That's incredible That's what they do. Just stitch you up Uh, yeah, it's like you can't see it now. I was like maybe nine or ten years old when it happened, but yeah Must have been you must have been the star of the soccer team. That's pretty good. All right Yeah, that's what they if you're the one that got stabbed You must have scored some goals. I did. Yeah, I did All right, mom, um, it how about how's your love life here in Austin, Texas? That's terrible. It's awful It is what kind of women are you into? Uh, I was supposed to get married to this girl and I was she was a comic and then uh that fell apart Why did it fall apart? I wanted to move here And uh, she didn't want she wanted to say so we had to Yeah, you miss her I do yeah, she's hilarious You miss her because she was funny. Yeah, yeah, the rare guy that's into a personality. Look at that It's amazing That's amazing. Have you been have you been with any women in Austin? No All right. Well, maybe your local change soon Um No dates or anything. Are you on any of the apps? No, nothing. No How come uh Every girlfriend I've had was through like friends like uh mutual way, you know, I'm a ranged girlfriend My dad did my dad had five wives. Oh wow What yeah, which one of them killed them Uh, he died of old age, but uh, my mom was walking home from high school and uh He saw her walking home and he called the high school and they gave him her address. That's Lewis's move ah Go ahead Jimmy what what sorry he was murdered earlier and now he's died of older his family got murdered. Oh family got murdered How did his family get murdered? It's all so they lived in a village where uh dad resources in his village and the rebels came in and they killed a like his whole uh, linen Lineage lineage lineage lineage got like he has nobody that's why that woman left you It's the way you say lineage But homie it's my second language. I apologize. Fun times. You're gonna leave here with a big joke, but I'm gonna give you that We're gonna give you the blackest one humanly possible just out of respect for more time for Mohammed you all All right ladies and gentlemen. We have a rare treat an inside sign up everybody the very rare. Oh the lovely hidey everybody live in the flash A favorite around here one of the stars of the show fun back you can buy hidey sparks and a jar She farted in each one of these jars Available in the lobby order at Kilmerch.com your next bucket pool is from the inside This normally goes pretty terrible because it means it's somebody that to kind of decided to sign up While they were in line like a real idiot ladies and gentlemen make some noise for Jesse Lane everybody where's Jesse Lane Here she is Hopefully she prepared very rare they prepared inside bucket pool. I've been doing this a long time That I'm rooting for So one more time Ladies and gentlemen for your own representing the audience. This is Jesse Lane everybody So my little brother got kicked out of the Millet I mean the police academy he quit the military so he got kicked out of police academy for being a sexist Just so basically they were doing like a swimming test thing like a challenge Competition and he lost to a girl But he didn't actually lose. I guess they like change the standard for the women So they lower it so he actually had a better time, but he lost on a technicality And she was kind of giving him shit after and he has an ego. So Basically he was getting annoyed and she was like Razzing him up and he said well, it's because you're a girl, which was enough to get him kicked out of police academy Which is wild to me because Like you would think that the worst thing that he could say like Is that I'm sorry. I'm getting stuff like um It's wild to me because You would think the worst thing that could happen is him actually pointing out the double standard But there's actually Holy shit Jesse Lane. What part of that made you think you should do that Oh my god just throwing your brother under the bus without a single laugh That is just a pent up brother sister what people are laughing at me. Oh, they won't Not even that we wish We don't even laugh at you. How much you bummed out this audience. Give me a car Let's try and see the positive here. Have you I don't know what you do for a living But if you work in palliative care I think that's maybe the thing for you because it that minute felt like an eternity -It wasn't credible. I mean-- -When people that don't have long left, you would be the ideal competitor. I heard my heartbeat. I could hear my heartbeat. It was so nervous for you, because I thought you were going to throw up. Or I was waiting for something to happen. -Yeah, just-- -Yeah, it was-- -Let me take a guess here. You decided today that you were going to tell that story? -No. -No. Have you practiced that before? -Yeah. -You practiced that before, and you're like, "This is ready for millions of people. What could possibly go wrong?" -I was like, "My little brother, let's fuck with it." -Okay, so let's get to the punchline that we never got to, right? -No. -Little brother got beat by a woman in swimming, so got kicked out of the police academy. So what's the final thing? What was supposed to tie that all together? -So you'd sink that-- -When it took you a minute, 15 seconds to do-- -No, my husband's going to give me so much shit. He's going to give me-- -I hope he beats the shit out of you. -Hey, Mike. -You dragged you out that and it gives you a beating of your fucking lifetime. -No, he might. He might. -It is true. -I hope-- I hope he throws you in a pool. And when the police arrive, they can't swim. -That's so black ops. -Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Shots fired, dude. Whoa. -All right, there's a little something in there. Can you use that about 20 minutes ago? -I have. -Has it been 20 minutes? Oh my god. -It feels like it's-- -What was supposed to be the final line that tied that all together? -Just basically that it's crazy that him pointing out that there's a, like, exception for the women is worse than there actually being an exception for the women. -It's called a punchline. -Okay. -It's a punchline. -So the exception for the women, except for the women, I still don't know what the fuck you're saying. What was it supposed to be? Let me ask you again. What was supposed to be the funny part at the end there? -The popper scene? -Yes. Hip-hopper scene is funny to me. I don't know. -Feef Guest did. Very good. This is like a trivia game. -No. -Seems some 200 points. Very good. -See. -See, Guest. The answer was hip-hopper scene, ladies and gentlemen. -Jimmy. Jimmy's got fire in his eyes right now. -Oh god. -I was just going to watch. Do you know any songs about Halloween? -Yeah. No. -Well, Jesse, I should just get you out of here. Is there anything interesting about your life whatsoever? -Yeah. My husband grew up in a cold. -Okay. So if something's interesting about your husband's life, how about your life? -Well, he's a part of my life. I had a baby eight months ago in my bed with no any assistance. I think that's pretty interesting. -Was it? Did you know you were pregnant? -No. No. Yeah, it is. -Is that where you wanted to have the baby? -Fuck yeah. I don't trust doctors or hospitals or any of that. Oh, I heard someone saying that. -Okay, all right. -All right. Has that ever backfired on you? -Fuck no. -No? -No. -You're healthy? -I'm healthy. -All right. -Yeah, yeah. -Okay, in a red band kind of way, I guess. -I do love a sandwich. -You love sandwich? You're on the sandwich diet as well. Red band's on a strictly sandwich diet, and he's losing weight. -Yeah, he looks great. -And I'm not kidding. Imagine what he was eating before. He's losing weight on a sandwich I'm not kidding. Much like her, I'm not joking at all. Here's a little joke, book, my friend. There you go, Bingbong, Jesse Lane. I told you, the insiders are almost never. It's always very thrown together. My brother once was at the lowest point of his life. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, your next bucket poll goes by the name of Carmen Sierra Sillo, everybody. Here we go. -How are we doing, everybody? -I am always learning something. My daughter has a problem with older white guys that she calls creepers. And every time I hear a story about a creeper, I'm like, "Huh." I do that, is that bad? That's how I make your mother. I guess I'm getting old. I guess I'm learning, I'm getting old. I really feel like I'm old, but I'm not ready to die. I'm not ready for my kids to go through my nightstand. You know what I'm talking about here? I don't want them to think that mom and dad were freaks. I need, like, not an executive of the will. I need an executor of the nightstand. A good friend that gets to the house. If me and my wife go down and get rid of all the gizmos, all the gadgets, replaces it with bibles and rosaries. I need a legacy, you know what I mean? I want them to go, "Oh, my God, dad was re-inscription of mom at the end." Kind of. Is that a bookmark from Adam and Eve? Yes. The nightstand is the most dangerous piece of furniture in the house. Keep the kids away from that. Like, my kids are older. I know. -Keep going. I want to hear the end of this. -I'm not worried about it. My kids are older. You know, next time they go home, I'm just going to be honest. I'm going to put everything on the kitchen counter. I mean, like, see that one? That's my favorite. Oh, my God. That thing don't shut up. Remember when you thought you heard bees in a wall? Maybe it was what my ear? It was that thing. That thing's crazy. Why does this one have a cord? Because it's old. It's a good tool. That's not a riobe. I'm not giving it that thing. That's how we had you. Thank you, everybody. But, Harmon, Sarah, Silo. Okay. I like it. How long have you been on stand-up, Harmon? 40 years. 40 years. I had a feeling. 40 years. I had a feeling. Where were you when you started? We're Cleveland, Ohio. Cleveland, Ohio. At Hilarities. Cleveland Comedy Club. Wow. It was called Cleveland. Calm, never even heard of. You know where progressive field is? Yeah. That's where it is. That's where it was. That's where it was. Yeah, Hilarities was like two years later. Okay. Wow. Look at you. And did you spend the whole time in Cleveland? We moved L.A. How long ago in the 90s? 1990 to 92. Did you move there to be a comedian? I was like a regular at the Improv and Santa Monica for a while. Okay. And then I ended up leaving that with the Florida. Gotcha. Tell us. I'm always curious. What was your experience with the Comedy Store? When you go to L.A., everybody tries at the Comedy Store. Very hard to get. You were in a lot, very hard to get. And the Comedy Store. See, you got the thing at the Improv. You're like, I'm good. I had Mark Lahnau on my side. You know, that was like the owner. And he was very grateful or gracious to me. I was like, you know, I'm not going to push it plus. It's hard to get into the Comedy Store. Yeah, no doubt. I wanted my name. Never tried. You just drove by that cool black red neon, ominous, powerful building. And you're like, I'm good. Don't make me cry, Tony. I mean, I just, I kind of, I just, I don't know. I just can't go back. I don't know. I just don't get it. I was, I was, was drawn. I don't know. I was admitted by that. I was there. I saw it. But I thought, you know, either one was good. I didn't know. Yeah. Well, now you know. You played for, uh. You played for two years again. You played these in state. You went to comics. You don't took me a long time. I finally beat with real comedians. That is true. That is true. And they don't care. Turns out you were happy playing for the Metz. Anyway, okay, so Carmen has fun. We call them Indians, but they're just gone too. I know. You're the Guardians. Guardians now. Okay, Carmen, relax. I have questions for you. What made you move to Florida? And what year did you move to Florida? I moved to Florida, 92. I was doing a lot of. You were in LA for one year. And you're like, "Fuck it." Is that about right? Am I doing the math right on that? Two years. Okay, two years, we'll call. You ever try to drive over to Pangak Canyon from the valley every night to get the. Oh, hard. You're the one that decided to. I know. That's why it gave up. Okay. I went to Florida. I started doing corporate comedy, which was a big thing for me. Right, that works for you. I made money doing comedy, and I didn't realize that I would miss this. The pain of doing comedy in front of a real crowd. Yeah, you're doing it. You're doing it. Let me ask you this. What the fuck is actually in your nightstand? I knew that was coming up. Give us the goods. Tell us the truth. Well, it's. What's really in there? You got a little calculator? What's going on? Old cell phone? I have actual toys. I have like decent toys. Like what? Like stuff from CVS. Like what? Let's get a little specific here. What kind of toys? It's not a huge toy. It's a little one. They call it the little sucker. I don't know if you've ever seen that. Describe it to us. There's a lot of people that don't know. Full shape. Like a bullet, but it has a little hole in it. And it really is a pulsating thing. It kind of. Where do you put that? That's not for me. I don't get anything. Oh, okay. It's not for me. And it only came later, Tony. I mean, everything was going good until about, you know. We've been married 30. four years. Right. You got to have some toys. So you got to jack it up a little bit. Yeah. So you got that one? And what else? I got a lot of broken toys. Broken toys. Oh my God. Like said, from Toy Story? Yeah. Well, I'm a natural hoarder. So anytime a vibrator breaks, I keep all the pieces. You have a little land of. Land of misfit toys over there. It's just a bunch of, you know, like, I've charged you. I want to be a dentist. Like, I have a small electronic repurposes for vibrators. Yeah, parts, I parts. See, like if you need. If you need a charger, I have a charger. Hey, my vibrator needs a new alternator. Like, cock ring has a new. That's what I mean. I mean, I'm a hoarder. I can't throw it away. And I'm nervous that the garbage man is going to see it. Right. Yeah. You think the. Yeah. Okay. I have taken those out of town to throw them away. Right, yeah, it's like a body you have to take it to the different parts throw it off a bridge. - Yeah. - Thumpster over here. - We don't, you know. - Right. - Yeah, exactly. Steve's Italian. - Yeah. How many Italian restaurants have you played in your life? - A lot. - I can only imagine, dude. - Yeah. - I can only imagine, it's a niche. - Yeah. Down in Florida, too, right? Do a lot of Italian, like, you know. - And we do, I'm doing like the Pizano shows and a Cumpari shows and a lot of those. - It would joke 'cause I'm Italian, Steve's-- - Yeah, yeah. - Give us a good Italian show. - Well, give us a little something. - Okay, well, my, my, look, my son's in construction. - Right. - He went to college for construction. - Yeah. I said, "Down, why don't you go work for Uncle Frank?" He's like, "Ukofranks in the mafia." I said, "No, Uncle Frank's in construction." (audience laughing) A lot of people assume that because we're Italian, that my uncle's construction company was some type of illegal front for my back activity. You know, he hated hearing that shit, so he had them killed. (laughing) - That's good, that's good. (audience clapping) - That's genuine, genuine to you. I like it. - It will feel plumberjohn and that joke. - You'll fucking skill it, dude. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, look, the people love it. You know, we love it. That's who you are. - I said, I mean, I do it all the time. It's all I want to do. Italian. - I just wanted to do, I just wanted to get on some pranos and that was it. - That was it. - I fucked it up, Tom. - Right. - I'm gonna start calling you-- I'm gonna start calling you Sebastian Half-Man-A-Scalco. (laughing) - I don't like that, go ahead. (laughing) - Carmen, have you ever been involved in any illegal activities, isn't it? - Yes. - What have you done? - I know what you want to hear that, so of course. - Let's talk about it. Tell us a little bit about it. - What do you mean, illegal? - I mean, you know, what do you mean illegal? - Drugs. - Whatever, tell us. - Fighting? - Sure. - Shooting's, give us a good something. Tell us something exciting. You've seen the pranos, you know what we like? - Here, I've been involved but not caught. - Sure, well, let's get caught. Tell them, tell the people. Tell the millions of people watching what you've done and gotten away with. - I mean, I got a fight, couple fights. We did go to jail for one fight. - You got jailed for-- - For a fight wasn't my fault. - Right, and now-- - I didn't do anything. - Yeah. - I went to a doctor after I got out and had him examine my hands. He said, hey, give me, I just went straight down. You could think these hands were in a fight, ever. Look at these hands, Tony, I'm five-four. There's no way I could be anybody in a fight. - Yeah, no way. And Italians famously never kick anybody while they're down. They never do that fucking deniro kick, you know what I'm talking about? I've never-- Look, I'm a happy Italian. I don't have a gun in my car. And I live in a, and I live in a, what is it called? All-carry state, open-carry? I live a gun in my car, and I will never beat my horn at anybody in Florida, because I don't have a gun in my car. All I have is a two-by-four. It's not a big one, it's strapped to the gas, so I could reach the pedal. That's all I really have to defend myself. - I like that. - You're a funny guy, Carmen. I like your style. Anything else for Carmen, guys? What do we think about Carmen? - I mean, I love the fact you're here. I love a 40-year veteran on Kill Tony. Oh my god. - Oh my god. It shows a little bit of humility. Also, you were fucking great. - Thank you. - Yeah, we love that. - Great job. - We love all shapes and sizes. - I'll tell you. - Car, are you kidding me? That's for me. And believe me, it's your right, because I watch this show religiously, and I really got revitalized by this show. - I love it. - In 2020, when I was going to shit, I was all on the side of, let's fuck the government. I'm so pissed at what they do with COVID. - I am so with you, bud. - Yeah, you know, the bullshit. Look, I left being on the middle of the line-ups at the comedy store that you were afraid to go to. I was so pissed. - So imagine how mad we were. I'm a lazy fuck. It's not that I was afraid. I'm a natural state is laying down. This is super hard. I flew to Austin, like you said, right? - This guy flew to Austin from Dallas. - I lost it. - Fucking guy flew from Dallas. This spoiled bitch right here. Look at this fucking guy with his hand over his face. He flew from Dallas. He couldn't drive two and a half fucking hours to be here. Couldn't stop in a bucket. - Well, they're me and him, our brothers. - Carmen, I like your style, man. Come back sign up anytime you want. - My friend, I pretty cool. - The Killtoni debut of Carmen's Theresello. - Thank you guys, thank you so much. - All different shapes and sides. See him catch that, like a fucking Italian? The old Scoopy left. Easy, baby. It's easy. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special treat for you. I have a regular right behind that curtain right now who's performed a brand new minute every single week. Plus extra shows for exactly one year. Ladies and gentlemen, makes noise. This is one year anniversary. Dedric Flynn, ladies and gentlemen, the dark story of the Texas. - Sir, what's you know about trying to have a private quiet conversation with the cashier at the grocery store? And you like, "Hey, I know I said I wanted some bags, "but now that you rang it up, "a nigga came to for the bags. "Can't you take the bags off?" And she was like, "Well, sir, we're just gonna "deport him out of the bags." How are you gonna, I said nigga in my arms, right? You know what I'm saying? I came to for the, that's why I hate what it asks if you want bags at the beginning. Nigga, I thought I was somebody, but at the end, I realized I was nobody, right? I could put the shit on the goddamn treadmill, Bell. And then she ringing the shit up, and I was like, "Nigga, I don't have the 75 cents "for the two bags, right? "So now I gotta fucking put all my produce. "I just took my hoodie off." And I put my ramen and the shit right in the middle. Then I took my lunch bowls and I put 'em in the fanny pack sleeve on my hoodie, right? And I put all my loose leaves like me in the sleeves. Do you know about that? (audience laughing) You don't ever know nothing about that. You don't know the struggle. I been having a hard week, I was going through TSA, 'cause I love TSA, especially also I know everybody that we're getting there. I fly on four or five times a week. I never have a problem, they always love me. But because Formula One was in town, they had hired some new niggas. And so I was incurring some new nigga problems. And so I go right through the regular and check my ID. I get in that little tube so they can see if you will list it or not, right? And I'm saying that little two, 'cause that's what it is. That's why niggas who got TSA pre-checked. It's all a bunch of rich white people. So they gotta go through the metal detector. It's not a lizard detector. The lizard detector is the tube, right? And then if they find out that you were a lizard the whole time, they're like, "I'm so sorry Senator. Keep going, right?" (audience laughing) So I go through the tube. And the nigga standing outside, he was like, "Lip your chains, right?" You know, I got that shit on all the time. I pick up my chains. Now mind you, I gotta fucking kill Tony necklace, right? They got him outside the cell. They just gotta, it's got a butcher knife on there, right? It's got a butcher knife. The dude looked at me, he said, "I don't think I could let you through with that on." I said, "You being the knife pendant?" That's on this. You see how small this is? I'm not taking over anybody, nigga. I'm sitting 33D, nigga. Like that's the end of the problem. I'm sitting by the flight of tennis in the back. They got not taking over the plane. With this little nigga, okay? It's a, so I said, "Sir, where's not a serrated knife?" And he was like, "I still got a call, my superintendent." Now mind you, nigga, my plane is boarding, right? My plane is boarding. I don't think it's gonna take that long to get through TSA. And I have to wait eight minutes. It's better to call the cops in the hood than to call a TSA manager over to check a fucking necklace, nigga. I'm not even in, so didn't the manager come up immediately? The manager see me and go dark storm. And I was like, "Yes, nigga, it's me." He said, "They called me for you." I said, "Yeah, I got this pen on my neck." And he was like, the dude was like trying to defend. He was like, "But it's a knife, though." Right? I can't let him do it a night. And then the dude said, "It was not serrated." And the guy was like, "Why y'all keep saying it's serrated?" You know what I'm saying? I was like, "Ned, you don't know what serrated is, but you're in charge of my safety." That's my time. I love y'all. Thank y'all. And then with the new three minutes and 25 seconds, he's doing three times the work he had to do. Always. So fun. Love it, man. Lewis. Yeah, Derek, very funny. I was actually here with you. Would you call me? Dead jerk. Yeah, yeah. No, you didn't. You said Derek. Can I know who you use up, Derek? It's up. Being recorded. You fucking jerk off. Derek. I was going to compliment you. Go fuck yourself. How about that? Oh, no. I can piece a shit. You called my name wrong. I didn't know who the fuck you was talking to. You could have said Dark Hornet. You fucking cut. Derek, we're going to let Jimmy Cart clean this up. I'm so sorry. Me and Lewis come across as some kind of Latter-day Sherlock Holmes, but did you ever play a football game in Egypt? I don't. I'm from Atlanta where we really played real football. We played real football with Pans. We don't play that in. You still get stabbed after the game. But you knew it was coming. You took a nigga kid out of the game. Like, you ever give an eight-year-old a concussion? Their mama is looking for you, my nigga. Because we're just like, yeah, fuck your eight-year-old nigga. This shit is bigger than life. The real football. NFL. It's Soka. I don't know what you niggas call it. I don't care. I don't care. Y'all lost the war. Y'all lost the war. Y'all lost the name of the football. That's how I feel. And that's the stuff I'm saying. (laughing) (laughing) I love you, man. Fuck big beans. (laughing) (audience laughing) Thank you for being here. Lewis, I'm sorry for yelling. I don't know why we like this every time. Thank you so good to see you. You can get a black guy in a Puerto Rican this close to me. No, no, no, no, no. I'm a problem. And then when they, he got the nigs on, it's already gonna be a big one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so sorry. But thank you so much. He was here my one year in a first trip. You're one of the funniest people. He injured. (audience laughing) I'm the planet and I just wanna say that I'm happy. I was here one year ago when you got your regular spine. Yes, thank you. You were here when he became a regular. Yeah, him and Joe were, wow. He's like, "Fu, I love you, fu." Ah, I think it should be regular. So shit like that, I would have you said in Puerto Rico. That was him. (audience laughing) That's Puerto Rico for a really good job. (laughing) That's a great shimmy car. Well, I just love to have relatable it was not being able to afford bags at the grocery store. I'm sure my staff have that. I have. (laughing) (laughing) Why, because the pound is a little bit more than a dollar, but we're working on that right now. So we'll see. But like, I didn't know you had to pay for bags until I moved to Texas, 'cause like Southeast, where like God still reigns supreme. The Lord Jesus would never let us pay for bags. Yeah. I choose to be vegan, that's on you, my nigga. But other than that, take these plastic bags, and then we reuse them as like regular trash bags. You get a, you get, they sell bins perfectly fit the trash bag. They go in a little bathroom. Trash can. Or you put it on the handle. So when a girl come over to you how she's like, I can change this nigga. All he needs is a trash can. Oh. So you put all the shit in there on the handle. Oh wow, that's an interesting move. You make the girl think you're less organized than you are. It's got to be clean, you have toilet paper, but you got to be missing something so she can feel like she added something to you. Wow, that is something. I like them. I like them. I like them. That is amazing. That is incredible. Little something for the single guys out there. Little trash bag on the door. Let the fire smoke detector go unchain. Okay. Well Tony, if the smoke detector, she's like, you can just move in, right? And after you move in, the smoke detector just starts. I think it's just a black detector at this time. Like I do think it's a black detector, like Niggas live here. I think it's just going, when he says that, it's just saying Niggas here. Right. That's a fact. Yeah, yeah. How do you know that we're illicit people? How you saying we? So you talking about you for sure. I do know y'all illicit people because y'all can't be in the sun too much because y'all cold blooded. And they're Niggas saying, you don't never see the Niggas out where doing nothing fun. You never see him at the theme parks. You never see him at like Taladega. We never see y'all niggas at Monster Truck. We never see y'all niggas at wrestling. We never see y'all niggas bowling, right? Because it's like, you know what I'm saying? It's cold in here. See y'all niggas just freeze while y'all bowling. We y'all doing this. The scientific research that I've done. I think he may know too much. For the NAACP paid for me to come here to get on Killtony, to study white people and I know everything. Wow. Very interesting. Dedric has been performing every single week for a year and always does more way over one minute of new material. He's probably done about two or three hours in the past year, an unbelievable fun back. And since it's been a year and it's been a high pressure situation, we are announcing that Dedric will only be performing on special shows from now on in arenas and killers of Killtony and-- I heard you. I heard you. I want to say, I want to say thank you to you, Tony. Thank you to Red Band. Thank you to Troy, everybody over there, Sarah Sloan, my boy Cote, my boy Cote over there, sunset forever. The band, thank y'all so much, thank y'all for a hiding. Thank y'all for loving me. All I remember is sitting at Shakespeare's 39 times waiting over and over. And if y'all niggas haven't been in Shakespeare's, just go over there today and then see what I had to do with it. Just see and you get to watch them, you'll get called over and over again. And they call my name and I said, this is the last time I've been a walk from Shakespeare's to the mother ship to this show. And I am the one and only person to get a first-time pool straight to reglishhip, because you've got to be ready when your name is called. I love you, I love y'all, I love y'all. I want to make room for the new people coming in. Y'all go keep Steve, thank y'all so much. Thank you, Lewis. Thank you, thank you, Dr. Rosa to thank all y'all. This has been a fantastic year. I've done six arenas, 37 theaters, and over 350 shows since I got on, my dreams came true, yours and you. This is the most beautiful show in the world. Yeah, the great DEDRIC Flynn ladies and gentlemen. [MUSIC PLAYING] Amazing. [MUSIC PLAYING] Future Phil Tony, Hall of Famer. Above and beyond, one of the great DEDRIC Flynn ladies in gentlemen, he's doing a show in like a few weeks in Vegas, by the way, I don't know why he's being so emotional. Catch him in Vegas that killed Tony. When somebody gets fired from Walmart and they grab the thing and they start giving a whole speech, bump down, he's a shitty manager. This was cool the whole time though. One more time for the great DEDRIC Flynn. Back to the bucket we go, where we found DEDRIC, where we found everybody, this could be the next one. Make some noise for Cameron Riddle, everybody. Here comes Cameron Riddle. [MUSIC PLAYING] Shit. I just got fired from my job. I was working as a chucky cheese mascot. Oh, Cameron, just go out there and pretend you're putting on a rock concert for the little kids. I'll admit, I shouldn't have tried the stage dive. That's my bad. But in my defense, I was putting on an incredible show. And those children were looking mighty strong. They knew what they signed up for the moment. They stepped into the pit. I'm telling you, it was crazy. Some of the moms in the audience started lifting up their shirts, flashing me like I was the band still panther. I think they were just breastfeeding, actually. But at the end of the night, the police showed up and tried shutting us the fuck down. I watched a crowd of four-year-olds stick up their middle finger yelling fuck 12 at the cops. I didn't even think they could count that high. Yo, thank y'all so much. I'm Cameron Riddle. Wow, Cameron Riddle coming up with energy. Hello, Cameron. Keep that microphone. Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Oh, I want to hold it. I want to hold it. OK, let's talk good. Hell yeah, dude. How old are you, Cameron? I'm 29. 29. Wow. Hell yeah. I'm feeling good. Absolutely. How long have you been doing stand-up? I've been doing stand-up for just over a year now. I started September last year. OK, all of it here in Austin, Texas. All of you here in Austin, Texas. Is this where you're from? Yes. Well, I've lived here for five years. I've been born in Fort Worth, Texas. You're born in Fort Worth, Texas. You moved here alone five years ago? Raised in Louisiana, West Monroe, Louisiana. If you've heard of a little show called Duck Dynasty, I was there for 23 years before I moved back to Texas in Austin. Wow, and you have no accent. I know, that's why I hear that all the time. Yeah, yeah. I think that's being just always online. You know, just never outside. I think that's what that is. OK. Yeah, Jimmy Carr. That could also explain your complexion. Thank you so much. Yeah. It is incredible. It goes. Not for Halloween. Now you do. You look like every new SNL cast member except for Cam Patterson. We need more Cam Patterson. Yeah. Every other-- you look like every other person on SNL. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. Hope to be the next person on SNL. It's hard not to-- I don't want this to sound bad. Please. You look a little bit like if McColley Culkin's parents had an abortion. Guess who my dad is. Whoa. Dead. Wow. Is your dad really dead? Yeah, he actually is. How did he die? He died. I think heart disease. I think it runs in the family. But he died like a few years ago. Never was around. OK. Was he like you a lot of energy before he went? A lot of-- that's the craziest part. My mom literally says I get my humor from him. Never experienced it. Wow, how old were you when he died? So I guess like a few years ago, maybe like 27, 26, yeah. But you didn't get to hang out with him a lot. He was at my graduation, I think, asking for money. But like that was about it, yeah. See, and the drugs are something-- drugs a lot better at selling them. OK. Yeah. I know. And I think the government is probably the reason he's dead. He just got really good at selling pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical prices at like very low prices. OK. Yeah, you know? Cameron, what do you do for a job? I'm a quality technician. Where at? Well, I mean, I shouldn't say the job. But I will probably be fired after this. A lot of people watch Killtony on it. OK. Northern Austin though. OK. Yeah. Northern Austin, you're checking for quality of things. Quality, very like various electrical units. I look at it, I go, yep, that's right. And then they pass it along. Wow. Are you on Adderall? Dude, can I-- I'll be completely honest, Tommy. Yes. This is-- I've signed up seven times. This is the first time I've decided to have a long island before I came up. Oh, wow, that's always how it works. A little fun fact. And it's a full fucking moon. I was like, it can't be tonight, right? Steve Brandon's easy. You're feeling frisky, aren't you? Yeah. Tommy, I'm going to be honest with you. I had a long island at night. Dude, someone's trying to win tonight. I've never heard that-- I had a long island tonight. Woo, girl. That's a long night tonight. Wow. That's a full moon, too. Yeah, you know. Dude, I'm about to head out. Woo! Wow. You genuinely look as if you could get sunstroke from a full moon. Thank you so much. Yeah, I do my good side, yeah. What do you do inside all day? So truthfully, all I do is write comedy or play video games or watch movies. That's like my big thing, yeah. Which one are you best at? Watching movies, not so much the comedy. Got it. I'm a big movie watcher, a big cinephile, yeah. OK, what are you in too lately? What's something everybody's going to say? What's new Wildwood? I would recommend Go See Wildwood, guys. It's soft animation. It deserves your money. It's animated? It's animated, yeah. Dude, come on, Tony. Now. Yeah, now. I know you had a long island, but I don't think so. Yeah, Cameron, what's your love life like? It's going great. I've been dating since August. OK. Yes. Where'd you find this little whipper hinge shadow? I mean, not in sponsor, but yeah. All right. Hinge. So you-- how did the first date go? Where exactly did you meet? Well, we went to eight. Where did you physically meet? We went to a speak-easy. I like speak-easy, right? You're like-- like it's a-- We're all just trying to figure out if he's gay right now. Say, the girl we're gone. Yeah, like, is Hinge the gay one? I know. I think my girlfriend is two. Yeah. OK, so you took her to a speak-easy. You got a little long island, am I right? We got a little drunk. Yes, we went to a speak-easy. It was a great night. Honestly, she's a great person. She's a choir teacher. And yeah, we hit it off, yeah. OK. And then did you hook up that night first night? And that's what's so funny, too, because like-- OK, and you all have to be honest. Do you ever go on a first date? And you're like, I'm not a slut. We're not going to have sex on the first night. And then you're like, we're totally going to have sex on the first night. That was us, yeah. But you did. We fucking banged. Wow. You slut. Thank you so much, dude. I never thought that would be possible. You come quick, don't you? You come real quick. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, no doubt. When I saw her, I did, yes. And if you think he's white, you should see that come. It just comes out like fucking sharpie yellow highlighter. You're so much-- Oh, OK. So Cameron, where did you guys hook up at? Was it your place, her place, top bunk, bottom bunk? Her place, I was bottom bunk. Yeah, she took-- yeah, it was a fantastic night. I'm a big-- I'm big on head. You know, I'm big on giving head-- You love eating pussy. I love eating pussy. Wow, so-- Do you have any tricks? Do you have any Jimmy Cards? Well, thank God I was going to ask, but he told us. Yeah, what was it? No, go ahead, go ahead. Do you have any methods to your madness? Do you have any special tricks to eating the vagina? I mean, your heart's got to be in it, guys. You can't just fucking fake it. You seem like the kind of guy that would pretend it's a pacifier or something like that. I'm just doing that though. I treat it like it's a cock, right? Wait a minute. It's a fucking cock in a second. Jimmy, Jimmy, if you-- OK, you missed that. Quick question, what? What? Quick question. All right, what you never thought the cock before? Question. Yeah, go ahead, Jimmy. If you had to describe your girlfriend's vagina, is it an outie? He's thinking. He's thinking hard. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I love it. And this is so fun. You're having a good time. You live by yourself? What's your living situation? It's going great. I do have a roommate. Yeah, and we're-- yeah, we're having a great time in Northern Austin, yeah. Yeah, they make cookies in a tree. Yeah, we fucking-- [LAUGHTER] Yeah, we fucking, yeah. I love it. I love it. When you go out, what do you do for fun? I love going to-- I love going to movies. I love going to restaurants. I do a lot of open mics around Austin. That's how I have fun and try not to kill myself, right? There you go. All right, well, Cameron, that's a sad ending there. [LAUGHTER] Well, fun times, my friend. You have a lot of energy. I think that if you focus this in on something, take your time a little bit. Take a breath, right? I mean, it's a little too fast almost. Even though it's you, you don't have to blast it out all at once. Is that only because you were doing a minute, you think? I get that all the time. I've been told to lean into it. What would you say? Bay of lockers. Bay of lockers. My girlfriend says anti-depressants. I don't-- I'm not too sure-- Did she really say that? Yeah, yeah, she does. She thinks-- she's reading the bottle of pills she has to take to date you. Do you think you're depressed? You want to get real toenied? OK, yeah. I mean, I think so. Have you ever thought about getting more sunlight going for walks because it's the actual thing that-- I think I fucking got here. I had to walk here, yeah. Like this. Yeah, exactly. You see how good it-- how much sun he gets? You see how good he looks? Oh, this-- you guys are absolute opposites. Yeah. All right, Cameron Riddle. Here you go, buddy. Oh, hold on, hold on. There you go, buddy. There he goes. Cameron Riddle, everyone. Young man with a lot of energy, the lovely hidey, everybody. Cameron probably just came in as pants when he rubbed shoulders with hidey. All right, your next bucket poll, ladies and gentlemen, goes by the name of JP Madison, everybody. Here comes JP Madison. What's up, young ladies? If you door dash a plan B, you're going straight to hell. You going to the VIP section of hell with bottle service? Listen, I was-- I hope that that plan B baby is waiting on you as when you get down there. It's how I'm out. I can't believe you door dash a plan B to kill me. And you didn't even tip the drive, were you horn? Y'all doing spring break? I was delivering plan Bs like it was Papa John's pizza. This one girl ordered two plan Bs in the same damn week. When she ordered that third plan B, I'm not going to her door. Tell that boyfriend to pull out. You got a butthole, you know, that should have been plan A. As you would have need no damn plan Bs. I'm JP Madison, thank y'all. OK, 46 seconds, a thunder and lightning from JP Madison. Welcome JP, how long you been on standup? Well, I started in '94. OK, but then I took like a 14 year break and then I started back two years ago. What were you, what were you in prison for? I almost went to prison though. I almost went to prison. For what? Why'd you almost go to prison selling weed? I wasn't actually selling it. Right. My friends, I had good weed, and my friends wanted it, and I couldn't just give it to a friend. I'm not the cop. You can relax. I'm not the cop. But you had a bunch of weed and cops found it. Something like that. Cocaine. No hell, no. Crab. No, weed. OK, all right, just weed, all right. Planned B. I love it. So what made you take a 14 year break? Well, I was on the road doing comedy-- actually, I started Raycombs Comedy Connection since Nadi O'Homers, you from Cincinnati, Ohio. OK. And so I was doing comedy there, and then Raycombs killed himself. And then I went to go bananas. Oh, the family feud guy. Yeah, Raycombs, you got a big club in downtown Cincinnati. Wow. So then I moved to go bananas, and then the manager there started booking me all over. And all my friends were like, oh, it's time to move to LA, so I moved to LA, and then things didn't go how I wanted. Why didn't they go how you wanted? I'm always interested about that. Because I was more of like a row comic. I had longer jokes. And then LA, you got to do short, quicker jokes. And then I got depressed. And did you try the comedy store? Yeah, I was going to the comedy store. Last fact, we all had types of shit. OK, they never picked shop, though. No, you had long setups. Yeah, I had too long setups. And I was out there fucking around. And what were you doing out there? Just partyin' too much. Yeah, what kind of partyin'? You know what type of partyin' is, don't you come up? I don't. Everybody's different. Me, I like smoke on a blunt, having a couple drinks. But some people party different. What's your type of party? Well, the major-- I started going to Tijuana, Mexico. And that was a big mistake. Oh, wow. That's a whole different country. Yeah. The trafficking women is not part of you. No, no, no. No. I'll farm to see you, please. No, no. Let me agree to disagree. Actually, I almost got queued in Tijuana. Yeah, that's what happens in Tijuana. Or else, we'd all go to Tijuana all the time. Tell us about how you almost got killed in Tijuana. OK, well, the first time I went to Tijuana, I remember I was watching all those locked up abroad shows. So I was scared to take weed to Tijuana. So the first time I went to Tijuana, I walked in, nobody checked me for weed. And I was like, OK, cool. I'm gonna break some weed next time I come to this bitch. You took weed to Tijuana? Yeah. What the fuck? You may be the dumbest guy we've ever seen. Did you ever watch locked up abroad and see yourself? No, listen, so nobody said anything when I took the weed to Tijuana, right? So then, see, I remember when I walked across the border this old lady, she was like, uh, sorry. or whatever you do don't walk in the alley, just stay on the main streets. So I was in this strip club called Hong Kong, right? And I, oh, rep that note on something out. - Oh, you know that's one? - Oh, he's joking. - It's not a strip club. - Okay, keep going. - Oh, let me tell you something. If you go to Hong Kong and Tijuana, you won't be able to go to American strip clubs no more. It ain't the same. So I had went outside to smoke a joint and I was standing in the alley and the Mexican police ran up on me. And they found the weed and they took me, they started walking me down this long alley. I didn't know that they were fake police here. - Right. - They weren't real police. And Tony, I was scared. I thought I was about to motherfucking die. I was praying to Jesus, I love Buddha, Harry, Chris, I was praying there, everybody. - Right. - So what happened? - So they walked me, 'cause something was weird because they walked me all the way down this alley to this house and then this dude in the house, he came out the house, right? And he was like, he spoke better English in the rest of the guys. He was like, "Hey, man, they want money." So they, you know, I'm saying, "Hey, they want money." And I was like, "Fight the way that could've been "the real police." - No, no, it was fake police. - Yeah, but it couldn't. - They're real police in Mexico, do that too. - Yeah, they do that too. - Okay. - I learned afterwards. - Yeah. - How do you know they were fake police? - Because the strip, when I went back into the strip club, the little strip club. - You went back into the strip club. - 'Cause listen, this is like Rick Flair going back to that bar that he fell outside of this week. - I took it with an eye patch on it. - Everything. (laughing) - So after, after the whole thing, when I was going to die, I was traumatized. So I went back to my hotel. I was paranoid. So I was like, "Let me go back to the strip club. "I need to relax, do some big titties in my face." - Yeah. - I was too much masculine energy going on. I needed some feminine energy. So I went back to the damn strip club. I just prayed to God to save my life. I ended up right back to the damn strip club. - Uh-huh. - Wow. I know God was like, "I should have let them kill you, "my fucking ass. "You going to go right back to the damn strip club." - Wow. How many kids do you have, J.P. Madison? - Take a guess. - Seven. - I got two kids. - Okay. - One baby mama. - Wow. - Yup, that's good. - All my friends got like eight and nine kids. - Yeah, that's what I was guessing. - Yeah. That's incredible. - How'd you end up with only two, you think? - Shit, 'cause it just poured shit. - Right. - I ain't about to be paying the rest of my. I, two was all I needed. - Yeah, you were going. - I only needed two. - You were going to plan eight. - My baby's mother told me that she got hit by a car when she was 13 and she couldn't get pregnant. - Oh. - So I was like, "Okay, cool." - Well, if I found out, she could get pregnant. - And all stories. - You know, when you say hit by a car, not me. - Huh? - Nothing. - No, no, she day hit by a car. I'll hit women, y'all, I'll hit women. - Oh, I see. - But women have hit me a bunch of times. - Right. - Of course. - Absolutely. - I bet. - J.P., what do you do for a living? - I do door dash. I also sell drinks at music festivals. - Okay. - Yeah, a bunch of under-aids kids coming up to me wanting me to sell them drinks. - Right. - Yup. - And I sell it to 'em, shit. You ain't my fucking kid. (laughing) - I ain't your daddy, I ain't here to raise you ass. That's your daddy's job to raise you. - Oh, yeah. - And please believe it. If they get into drinks for me, it is not their first drink. - Right. - Absolutely. - And there'd be some young kids coming up to me to ask me for drinks. A nine-year-old kid came up to me and asked me, "I swear to God, nine-year-old kid came up to ask me for a butt light." And I'm like, "Damn, this kid is gonna go out and be gay as hell." I was like, "Dude, listen, if you're nine-years-old and you're ordering a butt light, your uncle is playing in your booty. I guess I swear to God, that's. I told you kid, I was like, "Hey, look, little man, drink some tequila "to heal a mech, you wanna fight?" - Right. - He's like, "All right, now I have a long eye, like. " (laughing) - J.P. Madness. - And all the little teenage girls, they love the pink Whitney. They all love the pink Whitney. - They love the what? - The pink Whitney. The little young girls, they love the pink Whitney. There's little pink Whitney shots. - What, what, what? - You put the plan B in the pink Whitney, and then it'll save you time the next day on the door dash. - Oh, and we were all wondering what little girls like to drink, to be honest with you. We were all not. - Y'all might have seen that. Anybody go to ACL? Y'all might have seen me selling drinks at ACL? - Okay, all right. - What? - You wanna drink from me at ACL? - Okay, we'll make good money selling drinks at music festivals, Tony. - Okay, J.P. Do you have a girlfriend currently? - No, no, I gave that shit up when I left Miami. I moved here from Miami. - Okay, but why did you give women up when you moved? - Because I was spending too much money on them, and I was like, not taking care of what I needed to take care of. I was like, not, I was wanting to get back doing this. - You don't have a hook up with it? You don't have a one night sand? You ever door-dashed? - I mean, yeah. - And there's a big white girl that opens the door. - I don't like big women. I don't date big girls. I don't like big girls. - Why do you think that is? - I think it is that you don't, but so many people-- - I have no idea. - I can't deal with all that ass. What am I gonna do with all that ass? - I can only fit so much ass in my hand. - That is a good point. - My rule is, you can't wait more than me. That's my rule. - Do you ever put them on the scales that ever close? Do you guys ever do like a UFC-style weigh-in in plastic? - I can eyeball that shit. I can tell. (laughing) - I love it. J.P. Madison, very fun. Welcome to the Killtony universe. - Thank y'all, appreciate it. - There he goes, J.P. Madison. We're having fun here tonight. All right, the lovely Heidi with the hair back and tight tonight. The loveliest of them all. All right, ladies and gentlemen, your next bucket pool. Everybody goes by the name of Charles Lester. Everyone, here we go, Charles Lester. (upbeat music) There we go. - I was a high school principal for 20 years. People tell me I have a rest in principal's face. (laughing) Being principal's wild. I had the parents of this 14-year-old boy with brain damage come in to see me. And the dad said he was beginning to take an interesting girls. And the mom said, "Now we can't keep him out of the butter." Not thought butter? Was he taking the butter to his room or was he standing in front of the refrigerator kinda hips forward, but it's clenched. 'Cause if you come home and your tub of margarine has a mystery tunnel in it, that's a problem. But if your family's stick a butter, looks like somebody's drug a warm corn on a cob slowly and senselessly across the top of it, leaving a, I don't know, nine-inch groove. That's a bigger problem. That family now has three cons of butter. Salted, unsalted, and us salted. Thank you very much. - All right, Charles Lester. Welcome to the show. Is your first time on Correct? - Yes, sir. - How long have you been on Standup? - Nine months. - Nine months. What made you start how old are you, Charles? - I am 66. - What made you start now at 66? - My son dared me to come on here and I said, what the fuck is Killtony? - I love that. I love that. - And I took one look and I said, not without boot camp. So I walked in that man's club January 13th last year and been grinding since, so. - I love that. You walked in the sun so soon. - I did, I did. - Wow. - Coolest people in the world. - Have you been having fun with it? - I've been having a blast. I just, I swear to God, I wish I'd discovered it. - Do you think you ever would have started this if your son didn't dare you to do it? - Probably not. I'd just drank myself to death on the balcony. - Oh, wow. So you retired from being a principal how long ago? - Officially from Texas in 2016, but I moved to Kuwait and we ran a high school in Kuwait for eight years. - What made you move to Kuwait? - We would just, got to travel, visited 35 countries. - Wow. - Not gonna do that on a principal's retirement. That's ridiculous. Tell us about what you saw over there. - You name it, I saw it. - Well, you name it. You, you name it, you saw it. (laughing) - I am, I mean, I'm from California. - I'm more than listening, no, you didn't. - Seriously, listen, if you told me I was gonna be in charge of 400 fasting teenagers once a year for an entire month, I'd have said you were crazy, but I was. Ramadan was a trip. - Okay. - But I saw that, but we went to Dubai every month. We went to Bahrain every month. Got used to the call to prayer. - Do you know how to speak those languages? - They banned me from that. Texas, Texas, Texas, it does not do it. Shukran, Masha'Allah. - Whoa. Do I get to make three wishes now or something? (laughing) So what's the craziest thing you saw over there? I mean, a kid's fasting is something else, I mean. - Yeah, no wonder. - You could see that at Epstein Island. Can you give us something good here? - I don't know, I think that it's like running into a wall a cloth, I mean, when you first get there. I mean, it's a fast and anything. They smoked, and smoking is their drug. Some of the best people I've ever met actually. They were very-- - Terrorists. - Terrorists? No, no. I mean, there'd been a terrorist attack in like a couple of years before, but I felt safer there than I did do here. - Yeah, what grades did you teach 9/11? - Well, no, I was-- (upbeat music) - Easy, but fun. Someone had to do it. - I was a, yeah, I was a principal, so I love him. - Perfect, how old's your son that dared you to do this? - I'm like, what does he 32, I believe? - How many kids do you have? - I have two, two boys. - All right, and-- And that's so interesting. What do you think he's gonna think about this? - He's gonna fucking dies. What is he gonna do? - How cool are you? What are cool? - He went to Grand Prairie. He saw you in Grand Prairie, yes. - Well, what a cool dad move and what a cool son to kind of inspire his dad to do so. - Two of the most awesome boys. I couldn't ask for better. - That's amazing. You're still with the baby mama? - No, no, she's wonderful lady, but there, she's an Arlington with him. - Oh, okay. - Yeah, I live here with my wonderful 20 years. She's a mental health therapist. - Oh nice. - That's fun. You have any special tricks in the bedroom? - I do. - Yeah, what are they? - Yeah, do we have an appointment every Sunday? (audience laughing) - Yeah, tell us about it. - Listen, she charges, no, I'm the kid. She charges her clients if they miss an appointment. She missed last Sunday. What do I need to charge her is what I want to know, because I didn't get my-- - I feel bad for the stick of butter in your fridge, huh? - Yeah, right. (audience laughing) - I love it, Charles. Anything else crazy about your life? We should know about before. - I've been everywhere, I've done a lot of things, bungee jump, you name it. - Hell yeah. - I grew up shooting rifles, shot in competitions from the Marlons. - The way she said Gomez. - I'm being brought back to high school right now. I'm intimidated by you. - Yeah, yeah, that voice. Energy has just come like I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to say anything. - Yeah, that's a good point. Tell us about a time that you really had the principal. Like, tell us a time you think you were a great principal, a leader, something you had to deal with, and how you handled it. - I think teachers are the, some of the bravest people in the world, but I had to, yeah, no, they're incredible. Some of the most powerful professions in the world, but you get a good one, they'll change the life, you get a bad one, they'll ruin a life. And I had a pleasure escorting people out of the profession. - Yeah. - Nice. - Tell us about a time in which you had to tell, what did that teacher do the you had to do? - He escorted more than one pedophile out. - Oh wow. Oh my God, how did you catch them pedifying? - No, no, no, apparently he was doing what he called the nervous game. I know this 'cause the human resource lady played it with me. But, oh, what? - Wow. - He would sit him down knee to knee, and then he would start moving his hand near towards the crotch and say, "You nervous now, you nervous now, you nervous now." - Oh wow. - And the sad thing was that he was a former Marine. And I went and escorted his out into the arms of the police and had a damn good time doing that. - Wow, that's incredible. - When you gave him to the cops for you, like, "Are you nervous now?" - Get nervous, buddy, come on. - Yeah, I hope those kids said they were nervous early. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? The last thing you wanna hear is, "Are you nervous now?" Yeah. - Are you nervous now? - You know I had a dick in their mouth. Does anybody get it? All right. Crazy joke to make, but I did it. That's what we do sometimes. Someone's gotta do it. All right. Charles Lester. Stopping molesters out there. - I had to stalk her once and she was, this lady actually thought that she was Natalie Wood and I was Robert Wagner. - Wow. - That is not, no kid. She, in fact, her husband finally had to call me and apologize for, she was so incredibly insane. - Okay. Yeah, that's nuts. - It is nuts. (laughing) - I like your style, man. I love all different shapes and sizes. Some people your age have been doing it literally 40, 50 years and stuff. I love that you found this late in life and you have a couple. - I'm having a blast. - That's awesome. I do about 60 mikes a month and I'm loving everything. - We'll keep it up. Sign up again and tell your son, you got a big joke book, I killed Tony. - Thank you. - Charles Lester, ladies and gentlemen. How fun. That's cool, right? Oh my goodness, Heidi working, double triple overtime tonight. All right, your next bucket pool goes by the name of Gregory Simpleton, everybody, here comes Gregory Simpleton. (upbeat music) (audience laughing) - Hola. Happy Independence Day. United States of Jerusalem. It's hard to buy groceries 'cause the prices are always going up. I forgot to meditate. You can join me if you want. Breathe in. Breathe out. Grateful to be in Austin, Texas. Breathe in. Breathe out. Grateful to be at the comedy mothership. Breathe in. Breathe out. Grateful in 18 years of marriage, but wife has had one orgasm. (audience laughing) Breathe in. Breathe out. Sorry for my legs. So it's hard to buy groceries 'cause the prices are always going up and I want to say thank you to John Jay Trump for sending us $90. (audience laughing) I might be the only one, but I fucking loved it. I loved it. Started with groceries. It meditated and then went back to groceries ladies and gentlemen. This guy is frustrated with the grocery prices. Can you tell us because we're, I don't know if we're really studying the price of groceries as much as you are. What is up right now? What's up right now with the groceries? I don't know. (audience laughing) Well, it's like every bag is like $50 to $100. What was it before? Probably 25. It was 25. You think grocery prices have doubled looking in like 2000. Okay, well then. The price of bread was like a buck. I don't know if you've noticed this. The price of, it says here, I have some notes. Everything has gone up since the year 2000. That's true. This guy here took a Southwest flight from Dallas today. Jimmy Carr, our chief economist here. You're just, you're not going to believe this. You just missed your old boss that escorted you from the school. (audience laughing) Are you nervous? How's it going? Yeah. A little bit, yeah, a little bit. Gregory, how long you been doing stand up? You're in three months. What made you start? How old are you? 47. 47. What made you start? Muhammad, you all? What? Muhammad, you all? Yeah, African guy? Yeah. Really? Oh, wow. Yeah. The extremely black man that was up here earlier. Yeah, I used to work for Elon and he, they fired me in March. But before that I was doing improv and I'd come and watch stand up. Uh-huh. And they put two beautiful women out there and said, "Hey, we're going to go to Frazier's. Would you like to come?" I said, "Yeah, of course I'm married. I should go follow two beautiful women." Uh-huh. And Muhammad cornered me and said, "Hey man, we don't trust people that hang out with comics. So you're going to have to get on stage or go away." So. Wow. Look at that. Very interesting. Oh, I wish you'd gone away. (audience laughing) What made a no? Come back, Greg. Come back, come back. Get back to that microphone. What, uh, how did you end up getting fired from? Was it Tesla? Space X? Yeah. Tesla? Yeah. All of it. Yeah. Okay. Great. Perfect. How'd you get fired? I don't know. There's a list. Oh, I bet. That's starting to make sense. At what point did Elon get nervous? He doesn't even know I exist. Right. Do you ever in the military? No. You just look like a Vietnam vet? Well, that's the part of the story that's good. My boss was an Aggie. And I'm an Aggie and he fired me. Wow. Interesting. Uh, uh, Gregory. Um, what the fuck was I going to ask you? Jesus fucking Christ. Hold on. Oh, when's the last time your wife fucked you? Let's talk more about that. How long have you been with your wife? Uh, 18 years. She fought for a divorce like two weeks ago. Oh, wow. Crazy. How many guessed the answer to the question is two weeks ago? No. Back in May, I think. Early June. Okay. And did she, does she have a long list as well of reason? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah. What do you think's on her long list? Getting fired from Tesla. That's one. Nope. You're chasing your dreams, doing an art form that doesn't pay. Right. So that's two. Give us a few more. Um, you leave the toilet seat up a lot. Yes. Okay. Why don't you think of her last name being Simpleton? Yeah. Is that really your last name? No. Okay. Okay. Give us some things on the list. Why she would divorce you? Give something. I don't know. I don't, I don't cook, I guess. Okay. What else? I don't have a big enough dick, I guess. How big's your dick? Show us with your fingers. I don't know. How big your dick is. That's huge. Yeah. It's fucking huge. It ain't that. We could scratch that off the list. What else? Give us one more reason. I'll let you off the hook. I don't know. I stayed married to her and didn't divorce her. I don't know. Interesting. So we didn't end in. Sorry. My mouth's drying up for some reason. I have some ornament. Your mouth is like her pussy apparently. Okay, so that actually is a good story. So during COVID. Okay. Here we go. Can I get some water? Have a sip of Steve's water there. I get stimulated before. Yeah. There you go. Wow. You drink like a baby. Add that to the list. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah. Shit. Unbelievable this guy. He had a free lander. He learned how to drink. I don't know why everybody wants to divorce me and fire me. That's it. It's it's due to Freelanda post-apocalypse. Yeah Okay, so during COVID when I got it I lost my taste and smell And so I started eating all the bad food and I was like I wonder what my wife's pussy would be like And that's when I found out like how much she actually lies because if there's a lot of texture and pussy pussy I don't know if y'all when it's lubricated you don't get quite the The texture There's random people yelling shit out. I don't even know where to begin with this So you learned that what from using your taste and smell you ate your wife's pussy and the texture is intense The texture changed yeah, I didn't know I didn't know because it drier is that what you're saying apparently it was very dry at that time What do you mean apparently? Yes or no would be do you have to water it? Like a flower you open this with that's a funny story But a sprinkler out there just spit on that shit whoa Disgusting my best right red band Eat a sandwich red band That's very good advice Okay, and but you love doing stand-up is that right? Yes, I do and is there any are there any other hobbies that you're into right now? I mean I love electric cars. Oh wow. They don't love you anymore. Yeah, it's a shame you lost that job No, do you have an electric car? I do not I have a Ford F2 50. Oh wow F2 50. Yeah, I was just about ready to buy like a Model 3 And then I got fired so I like full out you know because as in the Republican nation I have to be fiscally responsible so I had say I find it So interesting everything keeps going back to politics with you. Oh, I love politics. Yeah, I love right it seems like you do yeah Right, but what do you but you you get fired your divorce. No, I'm not divorced. She filed for divorce. Right, right I mean take take a hint maybe I think You still have it. Do you think you still have a chance at saving the marriage? It's up to her. She's the boss. You still live with her No, I came I moved down here thinking that I'd bring my whole family, but like It's very expensive here. So she stayed home because she has like four people to depend on her and then we just never Who are these people? Are they the children? Sorry, sorry, you're saying that you moved down here and she stayed home. Yeah, it feels like you might have left her I mean whatever oh This guy, I'm your relationship counselor, but I find if you leave your wife they often take that the wrong way Okay, all right, all right smart-ass I mean he is no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm saying I asked for permission. You asked for permission to leave yes I'm in a marriage. No, you know It's over dude. I want you to win this back Yeah, dude before I left four years ago. Oh my god. He's so rude to Jimmy. That's crazy Well, I'm defending myself some because he's saying that I just got up and left my wife. I asked to follow my dream to build electric cars And when I got here I thought I would everybody would move down, but it's so expensive that was the moment that her pussy dried up By the way, what don't you get Jimmy? Understand the man had a dream of electric cars and dry pussy and he moved down here, dude You're not getting it. It's his Jimmy. He gets it. Yeah, yeah, Jimmy. He gets it. You don't It's the British you can't you know what I mean? You can't the British doesn't allow you to open up. I think you open up open up. Open up, Jimmy Interestingly confident. You're fired from Tesla. No longer build your electric that dream has died Would you consider going back to your still wife? Where's your wife? That dream? You're gonna have to plug it outside of your house for 24 hours before you could sort of pick up Where's your wife located at home? Where's home? Where's home? I love it. He's an earning smile at home. Got him. Yeah. Got Tony Where what I know what state is your wife located in Texas? Okay, where in Texas? You know which softball is Is that where well that so that's the big town there by nose, but there's a town called Burke Burnett Okay, yeah, there's a movie about it. How about how far away is that six hours? Okay, and you don't go home to her You don't drive the Ford F 250 six hours to there. You stay here. Is that correct? Well, I had a job up until March and I lost my job And I followed the standup. It's old soap. What? Yeah, it is October But I can leave right now. I don't leave. I mean, you're going to leave. What are you doing? Why are you leaving? Which guy does things on his own turn? Life. I love it. Why are you busting my balls about it? That's the show, bro? Yeah, you're on kill. Why are you busting? Why do you guys keep making jokes about the serious stuff in my life? We don't care. I thought this was who wants to be a millionaire. What is going on here? I did not sign up for this This is unbelievable. This is why your wife left you. Oh, that's hard You can't fucking just be chill for a minute. We're just fucking with you. Dude run your side. Fuck that bitch Take your ring up throw it into the crowd right now Don't throw your ring answer, dude. He loves her. He loves her hard. He wants to be back with her so badly Can I have my use suck book and go? You do not suck. I mean Now that you've said that Now that you've said that I'm going to give you a smaller one There you go. There he goes. Ladies and gentlemen. Gregory's And oh Gregory come back here real quick. Great. Get Gregory back up here Gregory stand behind that microphone for a second. Yeah, ask you something You have the now you have the crowd awing, right? Look at the look on your face. Are you not having any fun? Do you know? Have you ever seen the show? Yes, I've seen okay You're a funny guy. You have a funny. There's there's actual other comedians like I mean you have a You there. There's something to you here. You got something. You got something You got a good dead pan. Very good dead pan. He's got something but it's not a wife He's got terrible attitude and I love that Maybe autism Maybe tell you what throw me that little joke book back give me that little joke book You're getting a big joke, buddy All right, Gregory Simpleton is a wild show. This is a very hard show to To host. It's crazy though. Don't eat. I really put yourself out there at that time I mean, it's a rough one to go. Hey, get your fucking bad attitude as back out here Ladies and gentlemen back to the bucket we go makes tonight's for your next bucket pool This looks interesting. It's dr. Tim T. Everyone dr. Tim T It's inside oh good to know inside. He is inside turn the red lights on we have dr. Tim T. Is that him? That's some guy going pee here comes dr. Tim T Running the stage everybody two insiders on one show very interesting Here we go Dr. Tim T everybody I did talk to this patient the other day. She kept swallowing pennies. I Can't believe it was that why are you wishing well? She's like no. I saw in TikTok that copper prevents pregnancy I told her Darling if you're trying not to get pregnant. I think you might be swallowing the wrong thing As You can tell by my name and my story. I'm a doctor of a primary care physician, but I also am a part-time gynecologist. Hey By that I mean I do IUDs Pap smears and sometimes they deliver babies Another day I delivered this baby and I walked in the room and the parents were arguing about whether or not they should circumcise their child Mama say it was a barbaric ritual. She didn't want it done the dad was saying his family tradition. They'd done it for generations That's from my opinion. I said yeah, I Think I'm gonna stop with the mom on this one The dad got mad. He said I was sexist. He called me sexist He said it was gonna complain to Admin and I said sir you can play the admin all you want But there's no way the hospital's gonna let circumcise your daughter Dr. Tim T you've been on this show before correct one time yes, sir How did that happen remind me my my beautiful girlfriend over there? She got drawn and she pulled me up. Yeah, got it She got drawn. She did a minute. She said she's got a husband or a boyfriend that's a doctor and I called you up Yes, you did that's right. How I remember it. I can't remember that how's life been since then. Oh, it has never been better You're a real doctor. I'm a real delivered children. I do deliver children. My goodness. Yes, credible What do you think about the what do you think about the lady that bombed harder than anyone ever that had a child? in her bed. I can tell by looking at her that she He delivered her children to home. (laughing) That's someone who does deliver their children home. It was the dress, it was the dress, it was too flowy. It was too flowy, probably doesn't vaccinate either, but whatever. - There he is. - There he is. - There he is. Louis J. Gomez. - Are you hammered right now? - I am hammered, you look like that. You're talking like a doctor writes. (laughing) - Yeah. - That is true, your eyes are wobbly. What did you have? How many long islands did you have tonight? - I had a margarita. - Yeah, one margarita. - Okay, and I had two. - Okay, oh. - Yeah, and this is the worst DUI checkpoint ever. - I had one margarita, then I had another one. - And you'll never believe what I did after that. Go ahead, what'd you have after that? - I had French 75, it was a double. - Wow, a double French. - I think it was a triple though. - I'm pretty sure that's straight liquor in a glass. - Yeah, it was, it was. - Sea brand is easy. - Do you doctor hammer too, or are you just done? - No, no, no. - Okay. - No, if you're watching boss overlords know. - All right, cool. - Yeah, yeah, no, I do not. - I mean, I wouldn't mind. You seem like you should together. - I still lay work on me. - Yeah. - That lady's in the crowd, like, this is why I don't trust a doctor. - Look, hey, it makes this, it makes. - You guys both have great points on both sides. Her dress is too flowy, you're trashed. - That's right. - Hey, I'm on PTO, you can't. - I love it, you deserve it. - I'm, I'm, you, there's no way I'm letting him fucking be my girlfriend's going to college. - All right, yeah, look at the mustache. - He's like, I think the baby's coming any second. (laughing) - Squirt. - Her water broke. (laughing) - I didn't know she was pregnant. (laughing) - Good news, your wife's pregnant now. (laughing) - When I'm done with her. - But you see a lot of vaginas. - And I'm comfortable amount sometimes. - Yeah, does it kinda take away from normal vagina or you still love your girlfriend's vagina, just the same, or is it kinda like, is it kinda like, is it kinda like, you're all excited? - I love my girlfriend's vagina. - Of course. - I do, I do. - What makes it special? Describe it for us. - Yeah. - What's the texture like? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Texture is everything. - This has never been that dry. - That's right, of course. That's the man right there, Dr. Puss. (laughing) Dr. Puss is in the house. Hell yeah. Okay, what's the craziest pussy you've ever seen? Tell us. - I will get fired if I talk about that. - Really? - Yeah, no, yeah. So. - We gotta have you come up here in a luchador mask one night and just tell us the truth. - Okay. - We need truth bombs, doctor. - If you want me to do that, I will. - Yeah. - I will. - All right. - Are vaginas going a certain direction now a day? So are they lippier than usual? Are there some things? Is there anything that-- - Well, my ex-wife's was, but, you know. - Let me ask you this. Did the vaccines affect Pussies at all? - No. - Okay. - Maybe that dude's ex-wife's, but-- - So cute. - Tony's pretending to care about Pussies. (laughing) - What's the medical name for that call flower thing at the very top when you put your finger? - H-P-V. - Wow, look at that. Very good. There you go. (laughing) - Amazing. - Holly flower thing. (laughing) - Fucking red pin. - What's the gadget in the back that I never get to? (laughing) - You ever delivered twins? - No, never twins. - How come? - Uh, it's rare. - It is rare. - It's rare. - Yeah. - What's the craziest thing that is been up there? Ever see anything weird ever up there other than a baby? - In the front, no. - Let's talk about the back, hell yeah. - Back, let me tell you. I had a guy one time who said he had a fifth of liquor stuck in his ass. - Oh my God. - And then you don't want to talk about that. You thought it was bitch? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh fuck, man. - What happened to confidentiality? - I love it, the two hosts of the Legion of Skanks. He's like, this guy had a fifth of liquor up his ass. You guys grabbed the mics at the same time. (laughing) - We went digging for it and we pulled out a pint and we're like, "Hey man, you only had a pint." And he's like, "No, there's another one up there. "I did the math." - Oh shit. Oh my God, he's like, "You, we had a double." - Yeah, you had to come to you because you were the world's most known alcoholic doctor. - Yeah. - Well, yeah, he's like, "Man, there was two up there." (laughing) - It was C. Okay, red man, very good. There's this one fart noise. The guy that flew here from Dallas loves it. (laughing) Wow, all right. - Yeah, Jimmy. - I don't wanna get, I don't wanna be boring, but the circumcision joke was beautifully constructed. Wonderful written, well done. - Thank you, thank you. - Let's find out. - Yeah, and you're very funny on the fly. I would love to hear the stuff that you think you can't talk about. The stuff out of all the people in the history of the show in which it's, and we hear it a lot, it's like, "Oh, I'd get fired." If I told you that, you're the one where I feel like, especially at this level, like four drinks in, this is what I want. I want, I want Dr. Mystery with a luchador mask to fucking break the truth to us sometime. - Anytime you want home. - You're amazing, Dr. Tim T. I am out of big joke books, but we'll give you one on your way. We have them in the back, back there somewhere. Ladies and gentlemen, one more time for Dr. Tim T. (audience applauding) - Your next comedian is one of my favorite top young rising comedians at the club, and in all of life. This guy is a sensation, really. A freak of nature, I love him. One of the best writers. We'll see what happens tonight. Make some noise to the great Miles Johnson, ladies and gentlemen. (upbeat music) Hello, multi-cultural audience. Good to see you. I wanted to tell you guys, there is no inward pass. You just got to be brave for once in your fucking life. (audience laughing) You have to take a fucking chance. Yeah, there's no inward pass, sorry guys. I know that because even black people, we can't say the inward whenever we want. Can't talk to my grandma like that. Hey, pass the mashed potatoes, old nigger, come on. Give it to him, taters, you old ass nigger, come on. Oh, I love when you call me old ass nigger. Oh, it's so sweet. Imagine a black doctor talking to you like that. Doc, is my husband gonna be okay? Man, this nigger's got. And this nigger's got hepatitis, hallotosis, tuberculosis, you name it. All right, thank you. I noticed a dramatic decline on laughs. (audience applauding) But I said imagine a black doctor. Oh, look. The great Miles Johnson. Fantastic work, Miles. How's life going, buddy? Life is great, bro. I got a worm farm. Tell me about the worm farm. I got a bunch of worms. I'm trying to compost, so I got a bunch of worms. I got like 2,000, 3,000 worms in the kitchen right now. My girl, she hates it. But it's kind of crazy because it's called a worm farm, but I don't really do anything. They do all the stuff. It's more like a worm plantation. (laughing) Like I just threw trash at him. I said, "Don't turn in the dirt, boy." How long have you been doing this for? A couple, a couple weeks now? A couple weeks now? How's it working out, are they doing it? They're, me and they're doing, I'm actually really proud of those guys. They're really, they're really good worms, bro. What are they turning into? I don't know how this works at all. I was, yeah, it's like you give them like you know, like old vegetables and shit and they turn it into, they turn into dirt. Wow. What are you gonna do with all this dirt? Fuck, man. If flip that, get another bit of dirt. Yeah, I'm gonna start a garden. I'm gonna, I'm gonna start a garden. I started with the worms. But surely your garden has dirt in it already. Not this kind of dirt, bro. This is fucking Heisenberg, Walter White. (laughing) 99% purity dirt. Steve Ran is easy. What do you think about this? I love it. Do you have to buy your worms? How do you start off? Oh, you got a bunch. Are the worms fucking? I think they're fucking, yeah. You said two or three thousand. You got to count these worms every day or do you? No, I bought a thousand and. How much was that? We're now running like. (laughing) If you want, if you want red wigglers. Oh shit! If you want to ring the door, we're talking about red wigglers. Red wigglers. You're gonna say that carefully. Yeah, they did. (laughing) Watch out for them red wigglers. Yeah. You're not dressed appropriately for a red wriggler. How much was it? About, uh, I think it was like, uh, like, 60 bucks. Amazon. Dirt cheap. Dirt cheap. Wow, red band. Back to the soundboard he goes, everybody. That's my friend. Jimmy, what do you think about this worm situation? You can buy dirt. Yeah. Ponya, I mean, you could just go out and get to it. But it's insane. It's a premium dirt. How did you get to this hobby? How many things did you cycle through before you went, well, I'm done with video games and internet pornography. Dirt. Oh, I didn't-- I never said that. [LAUGHTER] Hold your horses there. It's something to get me away from that stuff, man. I think my worms. Wow. What else is going on other than worms, Miles Johnson? Tell us more about your life. My life, man, I got a friggin' wife now. It's sick. You do? Yeah. Wow. When did you get married? I got married a few months ago. I was going to invite you, but I got nervous. Oh, OK. That makes sense. It's kind of scared you say no. I was scared. You let me down easy. Wow. Very interesting. Where was this wedding at? Here, Austin, it was actually at Anton's. Really? Wow, you're right. I wouldn't have gone. That's amazing. It's got a cheap-- I had to get a cheap-- Wow. Incredible. You need to save all this money for worms. Yeah. I want to have a worm money, babe. We've been together like six years now. She's great. She's pretty cool. What does she do? She's a photographer. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, punching above my weight. Yeah. So you're the breadwinner? Oh, no. Unfortunately, not really. She makes good money doing photography. Yeah, she's like a wedding photographer. So if anybody needs that, she doesn't really want to do it. Don't ask her. Is it an ironic that you couldn't afford a wedding photographer at Anton's? Was she judging her own photos? Was she judging about the wedding photographer that you guys had? No, because they're cool. She likes her. She made-- I didn't realize how expensive photography was until I met this bitch, bro. She's like, it's like fucking-- She's like, yeah, we're just going to save-- we need to set aside like 5,000 for the photographer, then. [GRUNTS] Wow. That is expensive. She's a good lady, bro. She thinks-- One little bugaboo, you know? You know, these broads. She thinks she's more thoughtful than me. Tell us about that. What do you mean? She's like, you know, it's like a lady thing, you know? I get a lady. Get a lady. Yeah. Yeah. She thinks she's more thoughtful than you? She thinks she's better than you. That's what I'm saying, bro. She thinks she's fucking better than me. She's fucking broads. She-- I say thoughtful, because she, like, you know, she kind of knows things I like. But she's never once given me the thing I want. Does that make sense? It does. Worms. Worms. Yeah, worms. Buying me worms, waking up on our anniversary, I'm already in a samurai helmet that she placed on me while I was sleeping. She-- I go into the kitchen. Breakfast is ready. She goes, hey, I wanted to make today special. I got us tickets to a monster truck rally. And how about we go there and I suck you soft? Things I want. Yeah. Things, guys, one. I'm sorry if you're a lady and you're finding out now, guys want to get sucked off with a samurai sword in their hand. I'm sorry. That is true. Oh, wow. Is that gravedigger baby? [LAUGHTER] That's the best birthday ever! No, she like that. Miles Johnson is the man, by the way. And he writes and performs all the time brand new material. And he absolutely crushes around here. He is a phenom. I've had you and Fuzzy on panel before. Yeah. He's done multiple sets here. And what I think would be interesting is to watch you show millions of people your-- the power that Adam E. get the booker here knows about that all the comedians here know about. So if you're down, Miles Johnson, I think you should be the new regular here on Kill Tony. [CHEERING] Go! Let's get a move on. A life don't take. A life don't take. A life don't take. A life changing moment. Welcome to Absolute Fame. Jimmy Carter. Doesn't get you an N-Wood exemption, nothing will. That's what I'm in it for. Tony, you get three. Thank you. Get out of here, you wacky. No, I'm kidding. One more time for the great Miles Johnson, everybody. The new is regular on Kill Tony. Let's get one more bucket pull up here. We're running into overtime. Mixing noise for a Reggie Cush, everybody. Here comes Reggie Cush. All right. One more time for Reggie Cush, your final bucket pull up tonight. What's up? What's good? Oh, I got to start my jokes. All right, uh, I flew here on Frontier Airlines. I not recommended I got on that plane. It ain't even take off. He drove the whole way here. I don't have to fuck. We had to take off the wings and go through the toe, boo. You be like, we got a bit of turbulence. So I'm like, nigga, that's a pot hole, you know? I'm originally from St. Louis, though. And every time I go to St. Louis, I go through my old neighborhoods and see how much stuff has changed over the years. And I couldn't help but to go pass my old middle school. And it reminded me of a certain teacher, because he was one of them teachers that kept it too real. He had been in class. He'd be like, look her. I'm going to tell you guys something, because all your other teachers in this building, they're not going to keep it real like me. Look around this classroom. Half you guys in here. God not going to make it to C-H-21. And I found that real messed up, because we was in special ed. And it was only two of us in there. I'm like, damn, nigga, I got a 50/50 chance to survive it. Reggie Cush, hilarious welcome, Reggie. It's a shame I just made the last black guy the new regular, also could have been you. Your time is just slightly hot. Thank you, what's up? Alia, black to black. Absolutely, the great Jimmy car. So the other guy didn't make it. Oh, the last-- the purple shirt. The other guy in special ed. Oh, no, he did. I'm 33 now. Alia. Yeah. Reggie Cush. Welcome. Louis, thin piece. So first of all, fucking great set, very hilarious. That's so funny. I want to sort off for saying that. But what is up with your fucking hair? Yeah. Oh, this is great. It looks like you popped up out of a dumpster. And you've met all this shit on your head. I don't know. You should have a fishbone and pull it to be pulled out of your mouth. I did it myself. Ouch. Wow. But I like it, because I think it looked good. And it like, it covered up my hair line. Is that the plan there? Yes. It's like, you know, I want to see it. Yeah. Yeah, let's see it. But what if they roast me on line? Dude, you're getting roasted online for that hair. Right. All right. [GUNSHOTS] Oh. Wait, that was too hot. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not even. Dude, it's not to shave your head, bro. It's cool. It's time to shave it. That shit's crazy. What? What? It's no one else told you this? Are we your only true friends? I'm insecure. Oh, shit. I think you should be insecure about your fucking hair. This is insane. You sure it's true. [LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] Reggie, come. You put that thing on, Moose. Can he put that on? What's up? You want to put that on? When I cut it, I'm a kid, too. [LAUGHTER] OK, you got everyone on, Reggie. You are hilarious. How long have you been on standup? 13 years. Wow. Where are? I've been in New York. I've been started in St. Louis for four years. And then the rest, I'll New York City. You live in New York now? Yep. Wow. How long have you lived there? About 10 years. Wow. What made you come down here for this? Honestly, I always wanted to come to Austin. It always been like on my bucket list. And I just wanted to explore and see what the comedy saying was like out here. And I just bought a ticket, and I just winged it. Hell yeah. Yeah, I love it. How long you in town for? I leave Wednesday. OK, well, tell us more about your life, Reggie. You're so funny. So keep on. As I from being a comedian, I'm also a battle rapper. Yeah, I'll be a professional. I want to hear me battle rap. Oh, shit. Hell yeah. All right. Here we go. Should I go down the road? Should I just read them? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Hell yeah. Aye. I'm about to get rid of-- now I don't need no beat. Oh, shit. Yeah. We don't like it. Love it. He's going to Akapella. We going Akapella because y'all about to get lost. They look at me. They see I got the drip. I got the big sauce. Yeah, I got boys, but this dude tried to talk about my hair, but he ball hit like Rick Ross. Matter of fact, we're going to call him Great Value Jeff Ross. [LAUGHTER] Oh, shit. Matter of fact, I don't know. I don't think none of these guys are real homies. I'm looking at them all in a row and I could tell they're real phony. Y'all looking at me like y'all don't know me. I got people that are murdered. You ain't Austin for real. I'm talking actually kill Tony. Hold up. (audience laughs) Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up. Y'all want some more or what? (audience cheers) I say, I spray shit. I don't even know this guy, but he needs a facelift. (audience laughs) You look like you a virgin and also a rapist. (audience laughs) And this guy got on the rock star hat. Man, what a fuck is GTA 6, man? (audience laughs) Yo, you ass, I'm talking, I'm talking fake butt. Him in the middle look like he just ate nut. (audience laughs) I got all the bitches. I'm talking great slits. You look like Joker without his makeup. (audience laughs) (audience cheers) (audience applauds) Yeah, I'm going to Turkey after this baby, let's go. (audience cheers) Let's go. That was amazing. Thank you. That was amazing. You killed us all. Yeah, we all are dead. Only one thing's left. Shave that fucking hat. Oh. (audience cheers) (upbeat rock music) Ready, good. I'm gonna tell you, you fucking crushed the interview. You crushed the set. What an unbelievable way to end this bucket and you just want a golden ticket, ladies and gentlemen. (audience applauds) (upbeat rock music) I'm so unbelievable. (audience cheers) That's it. (upbeat rock music) That's how you do it, buddy. (audience cheers) Holy shit. Next time we see you, that fucking shit better be off your head, though, I'm dead fucking shit. That's crazy, bro. You can lose it. You have a beautiful head. Show it off. Well, let me ask you a question. What are you doing November 13th or 15th? You don't have plans. Grab that microphone. Shave, what you want me to do? Shave. (audience laughs) I would love you to suck my neck. (audience laughs) I got, I run the best comedy festival in the world called Skankfest. I would love to have you come down to New Orleans to perform a Skankfest. (audience cheers) Yeah. (upbeat rock music) Hey. Let's go. I love Skank. Some down. (audience laughs) I love it. Reggie, Reggie, real quick. Get back to that mic one more time. You know, you're a golden tickle winner now. You're a New Yorker. So let me spell out for you what all of this means. Is that, and you've lived in New York for 10 years? Yes. Do Madison Square Garden every single August? So my friend, when you walk by that, the most famous arena in the world, just know that in August, 2027, you will be performing on that stage. (audience cheers) Ladies and gentlemen, keep out of flight. Keep out of flight. It's Austin Texas. This is what happens when truly funny people buy a flight to Austin. This guy flew here from Dallas. Look how happy he is. Everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, one more time, a magical night for Reggie Couch. First of all, the one-way to end an episode like this. Ladies and gentlemen, it is with a man who might be the most prolific regular in the history of the show. We call him the anomaly. Ladies and gentlemen, he writes and performs a brand new minute every week, and it's just time to be entertained. I present to you the real deal. This is Pat O'Neill, everybody. (audience cheers) First! (audience cheers) Recently started learning French. You guys want to hear some? (audience cheers) All right. A lot more! (audience applauds) The language of love. (audience laughs) No, Greta Thunberg's over there in France right now, and here's a question. If microplastics are feminizing society, then why doesn't it work on the women too? It's too far for you guys, okay. (audience cheers) Recently, I had somebody tell me, God is a woman. I was like, that would explain a lot. (audience laughs) Mostly all the dead babies. (audience cheers) You know, churches in this country, they're tax exempt, but in my opinion, you should have to pay more to fuck kids, not less. Okay, thank you. (audience cheers) The great Pat O'Neill, everybody. (audience cheers) Wow. Absolutely prolific, as always, my friend. Incredible. You guys have seen Pat O'Neill. It's a prolific panel. Yes, powerful. Steve Ranazese, is this your first time seeing Pat O'Neill? It is, and I've seen many of your clips online. You are fucking hilarious. Do you remind me of what the comedy store was in the 2000s, dangerous, and fucking, yeah. Thank you. You're the fucking real deal, dude. Thank you, man. You're a killer, bro. Yeah, really is. (audience cheers) Yeah, you're, every time I see you, you're fucking hilarious. Oh, new shit, every single time. But I just wanna know if you're here, who is on that other guy's counter right now meeting with other worms? (audience laughs) Miles is a worm. The farm question. Jimmy Carr. Pleasure to see you. You do have the, the vibe is very much terrorists going through airport security. Mm-hmm. The level of nerves. And it's also, it's slightly child star that discovered cocaine. (audience laughs) You know, I love you. I mean, great writing is epic. Just solid, solid jokes every single time. Thank you. Thank you. It is incredible. We absolutely love you. You are the man. One more time for the real deal. Pat O'Neil, ladies and gentlemen. (audience cheers) What an episode, huh? One more time for the great Jimmy Carr. (audience cheers) His new book on jokes is available absolutely everywhere. He's on tours coming to a city near you. Jimmy Carr with 2Rs.com and his special last one laughing coming out on Halloween on Prime Video. That's like a TV show. Last one laughing. Oh, it's a TV show. A bunch of comedians annuls about to laugh. Oh, awesome. Oh, that sounds fun as fuck. It is fun as fuck. I love it. Maybe it's out now. Invite me to season two when it happens. Okay, sounds like fun. One more time for the great Jimmy Carr, everybody. (audience cheers) It's a little something, little something. One more time for the great Louis J. Gomez, everybody. (audience cheers) Legion of Skanks. Single day pass is available skankfest.com. He is the guests that's been on panel the most in the history of the show. We love that. You've seen so much, you were here the episode in which Dejric became a regular. And now you were here the episode in which Miles Johnson became a regular and so many other historical things. I think you were there when William became a regular or something. I mean, I've been coming here since it was 50 people in the belly room. I love the show. You guys are great. Some of the best comedy fans in the world. Everybody comes out on the road. The amount of Kill Tony fans that come out and support on the road are great. So thank you guys for supporting. One more time for the great Steve Ran is easy, everybody. (audience cheers) My big brother showed me the ropes. Used to fucking keep me fed when I was literally a starving boy. You were the man Steve, anything else you want to plug? Steve Ran is easy.com, I'm on tour right now. Be the mother ship in February. So come watch me. Awesome. Yeah, thank you. We're gonna have a blast. One more time for the best damn band in all the land, everybody. By the way, they are selling the vinyl of what they played tonight. For those of you interested, you could buy down in the lobby the seven inch cut vinyl of the Kill Tony fans performance that you saw here tonight. Pretty cool stuff. Very cool stuff from the Kill Tony band. A lot going over there, check out their YouTube. We're in Vegas, November 13th and 14th. Our new annual residency at the MGM Grand Sony live digital theater, the most state of the art theater in the United States of America, two nights, November 13th and 14th. And of course, we are here at the Moody Center, the iconic arena in downtown Austin on New Year's Eve. Red band. Check out the seeker show every Thursday at the Sunset Strip ATX.com. I love you guys. We love you guys. Unbelievable nights tonight. Thank you so much. God bless this audience and God bless the United States of America. Thank you very much. Good night, everyone. (Music) you