#787 - HARLAND WILLIAMS + JEREMIAH WATKINS

Hey this is RedBam and you're listening to the Desquad Podcast Network. This episode of Killtony and every episode of Killtony can be found at Desquad.tv, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out TonyHangeCliff.com for everything the Golden Pony Tony Hange Cliff. You can also check out ShopSquad.tv for Desquad Merch, hats, mugs, whatever. ShopSquad.tv. And now here's a brand new episode of Killtony. Hey this is RedBam and Community Live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas, for a brand new episode of Killtony, get it for Tony HangeCliff! Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? Not about one more time for the best standband in all the land, huh? Fernando Casio, Rao Vallejo, Carlos Sosa, Tres Leches, the great Michael Gonzalez. On The Drums, Matt asked me anything muleing on the electric guitar ladies and gentlemen, the great John B's on the keys. And believe it or not, that is de-madness live in the flesh, ladies and gentlemen. Oh my goodness, what a great crowd we have here tonight. We're looking for a hell of a show ladies and gentlemen. I can tell you, top to bottom, just so much excitement for the stuff that we can control. The bucket decides everything else, everything's improvised, anything can happen. Before we get started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible. Hey everybody, football is finally back and prize picks is bringing out their best offer yet. New users get $150 in lineups. If you win your first $5 lineup, prize picks is now available nationwide. So lock in for kickoff because everyone is in on prize picks. What you want this season? I'm all in on rookie receivers. I've been checking their player projections on prize picks and seeing how they fit into these new offenses. It is wild. It makes the game way more fun to be locked in on specific performances. Red band plus it's stacked September. Price picks is dropping a new promo every day this month. 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It's five bucks a month. That's less than a cost of a beer or a pack of cigarettes or a lot of fun things. Links in the description or go straight to killtony.supercast.com to join. This is a very, very exciting opportunity for all you die hard fans and super haters. Go to killtonysupercast.com. All right. Back to the show. You guys ready to start tonight's fucking show or what? Well, well, well. Boy, old boy. What can I say? I book this show myself every week. And sometimes I'm looking at a date on a calendar with a couple names next to it a few weeks out. Maybe a couple months. I'm going, wow. That's just right in the right place after a wild episode last week with Donnell and Sam talent. You know, it's kind of like kind of serious almost kind of a serious funny episode. And then the week before that was this fucking uh, why am I blanking? But it was a different tone. You know what I mean? It's a different tone. Let me look it up real quick. My point here is tone people. Oh, it was Duncan and Metzger. Yeah. Very serious. Yet hilarious. It's a serious episode. Are you madty and yak off the Russian connection, Gary Owen and Brian Simpson, what some people would call an urban episode? Well, let me warn you right now, if you're not into silly shit, you can get the fuck out because this episode should be pretty silly. One of the guests has been on more episodes of Killtony than anyone I think ever. For he was once the leader of the band on Killtony. Isn't that crazy? How many of you have been fans of this show for what you consider a very long time? All right, not that many people. Well, you're going to meet him tonight. Luckily for you all, the other guest is the 2025 Killtony guest of the year. One of the greatest guests in the show's history is back tonight. I present to you the combination two of the best comedians working today. The great Harlan Williams and Jeremiah Watkins. Harlan Williams. Jeremiah Watkins. Two of the best. Oh my God. Harlan Williams. One of the greatest guests in the history of the show, Harlan Williams. Well, thank you. It's good to be back here in Austin where art is so alive. And I got to tell you double tea. I was down in the park today over here at Whitmore and Braithenhurst. And they put up a new, a beautiful statue of carving. And it's a kind of a tribute to the early settlers that founded this area of the pioneers. And you got to check it out gang. It's five pioneers sitting around a campfire with the old hats and the grizzled beards. And I took my iPhone out to take a picture. And I got right up to it. And it was nine homeless guys eating a raccoon. Those are the pioneers. Yeah. Yeah. How are you? Oh my God. I'm great. We're so happy to have you. The Harlan Highway Business is booming. No doubt about it. A new show on YouTube. The art ventures. The art ventures is an animated AI cartoon about little kids with their superpowers or their art abilities. And I'm doing it with Steve Williams, the guy who created the Jurassic Park T-Rex and the T2 Terminator. And my buddy Paul from Australia doing the animation. So check it out gang. The art ventures. The art ventures. I love it. Yeah. I love it. Everything Harlan touches is unbelievable. And I can say the same for our dear friend, one of our old rabble browsers. The great Jeremiah Watkins ladies and gentlemen. His brand new special crazy pizza is out on YouTube. He does stand up on the spot monthly at the comedy store. But most importantly, he was the leader of the band. From episodes, I think what, like 45 to perhaps all the way up until the end or 200 when we left. Yeah, we left the pandemic. Yeah. Up until the very last episode shot in Los Angeles, he played the saxophone, did different characters every week and was hilarious. And now he's back. This is just himself Jeremiah Watkins as himself. I'm stoked to be here. We love you, buddy. You guys know how the show works probably better than any two people ever on panel. Um, over 300 people signed up tonight for the chance to get on this show. If they get pulled out of this bucket, they get 60 seconds uninterrupted. You know, their time is up when you're the son of a kitten. I mean, they have to wrap it up then. So they bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. Do you have anything for the 12 second mark? We actually love to add one. Well, that about the 15 second mark. That'd be a whole different show. I got one. This is a 87 year old lady at a senior center achieving orgasm. Okay, let's hear. And you can have that. You can have that. Did you get that, John? You recorded that. Okay. It's where that's that sound. We'll pop up. How do I know how that sounds? That's not for you to know. You know what? I'm going to let this. I'm going to let this dead man pull the first name. Put your little corpse at hand in there. The vibes of Mitch McConnell are alive and well with this guy right here. I love it. And while we wrangle that first bucket pool, I got to tell you something. We're starting tonight's show with a fucking bang. Normally we started with a golden tick a winner. Tonight we started with absolute comedy royalty. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you one of the greatest movie stars and comedic actors and stand-up comedians. Absolute royalty. The son of Mitsy. The one and only, the great and powerful to start tonight's show. This is Polyshore, everybody. [MUSIC] What's up? Listen, I just want to say it's great to be here in Austin, Texas. You know, my family is to pay Tony $7 an hour to pick up phones. Now he treats me like shit. [LAUGHTER] Thanks for having me on your show, Massa Hinchcliffe. [CHEERING] Remember Tony, I remember Tony when he was just a young comic at the comedy store in the cover booth. Louis Anderson would come over and hit on him. That's why Tony's face is so fucking crooked. Louis used to sit on it, anyways. [LAUGHTER] But I love this club. Give it to this club. It's a beautiful club. [APPLAUSE] Of course, my mom has a bar here downstairs named after Bar Mitzese. Nothing like a giant picture. Fuck, I fucked that up, shit. [LAUGHTER] Fuck, sorry. I'm going to try it one more time, okay? All right, here we go. I love this club. Of course, there's a bar downstairs named after my mother, Bar Mitzese. Yes? Yes. Nothing like a giant picture of your dead mom staring at you as you're trying to convince a coked-out tattoo agent to blow you in Joe Rogan's private bathroom. [LAUGHTER] I can't handle all this barbecue here, you guys. It's so fucking heavy. You know, when I was young in 1993, I used to do lines of cokes off of porn stars' buses. Then I'd perform and sold out stadiums. Now I go to Terry Blacks, and I have to eat brisket, and I have to cancel my eight-minute spot at the little boy. [LAUGHTER] But if you think about what's happening here, it's pretty fucking sad. Polly Shor, doing a one-minute open mic, it proves that Jews no longer controls Joe business. [LAUGHTER] Congrats, you fucking Nazis, you won. Hi, Hitler. And none other you did it on Young Kippur, you fucks. [APPLAUSE] Polly Shor, ladies and gentlemen, I love this. You prepared for this. Wow, I love it. Our fans will have to Google what Young Kippur is after that set. It's no, it's actually the biggest Jewish high holiday, and it's tonight on Monday night. That's why Hollywood is closed down right tonight. There's no one responding to emails in LA. You know, you have agents and managers that are Jews. So you know what I'm-- Yeah. You're probably going to get a hold of Billstein today anyway. I could. My agents and managers still respond to me, Polly. I don't know what's going on over there. [LAUGHTER] How you doing, Polly? The great Polly Shor, everybody. [APPLAUSE] Harlan, you know Polly. I know Polly, and I got to tell you a double P. That-- Is this thing stuck? You pull it out of the mic, Stan. No, I've seen this porn, I don't-- [LAUGHTER] Yeah, I do. It's stuck, bro. Yeah. Somebody helped me. Was it there? Where's the blind guy? Can you help me, bro? There's no way. [APPLAUSE] Sorry about that. No, I was going to be playing Polly. Polly, that first joke, the Louis Anderson on his face. I don't know if you're going to use that again, my guy, but I'd love to get that off here. Oh, wow. Wow. Harlan came packing some cash. Thank you so much. Oh, my goodness. Bet you on the Jew holiday. I liked it. Some cash, and some cash. Yeah. This is good. You guys want some Jewish money? Here you go. There you go. He's going to be-- Do all of them? No, I said Jewish cash. Havana Kiela, bro. We're cool. What does Havana Kiela mean in Jewish? It's like a Jewish song. You guys want to sing Havana Kiela? No, no, no. I'm sure that's Poppy, right? Polly. Polly. Polly. Polly. Jesus Christ over there. I think Havana Kiela is an endangered lizard on the Galapagos Islands, by the way. There. I'm going to give you another 3K to not sing that stupid song. Polly, what's been going on? You ready? I'm happy to be here. I haven't seen you in a long time. I know. You got a dog now. Just think I have a dog buster. That's pretty cool. Tony's got a dog, and he's pretty cool about that, right? Yeah. Okay. Yes. All right. I mean, you're talking about stuff that we don't-- Hey, when you said that Tony has a dog and that's cool, could I actually buy that off of you? Yes. Yes. Okay. No, yeah. I just came from Atlanta, Georgia. We had some shows out there at the helium. It was beautiful. I'm here this whole weekend. I'm doing Joe Rogan and friends. Oh, nice. Tomorrow, I'm doing Ari Maddie and friends. And then on Friday and Saturday, I'm doing my show with no friends, because I don't have fucking friends. It's just me for 6 hours like this. Be your friend. Thank you so much. Yeah. I love it. I'm going to also do the secret show Brian just told me, so I'll be here too for that. Okay. So I'm here all week just to spread love, and I love coming here to Austin Tech. Well, we love having you, Polly. I'm so glad you got tonight's show kicked off for us. Ladies and gentlemen, he wrote actual jokes for this. That was a great presentation. Polly sure the only person-- I mean, I literally has been doing stand-up for 50 years. He can't get the microphone out of the mic stand. What do you-- Oh, why do you-- is there a-- Do you think-- It was stuck for-- Oh, there it is. It was stuck for a sec, but now it's back. It's okay. Why is there tape on the bottom of that? Kino, can you hear me? Yes. What-- why in the world? Don't take it off. On a show. Don't take it off. No, we don't. Seen by millions of people. Would we have a Jimmy Rigged microphone in cord to start this show? Like, I understand if something crazy happened throughout the show. But why are we starting with that? There were a few times people would pinch it and the cable would fall out. So we taped it to make sure the cable would not fall out. And now people with decades of stand-up experience can't get it out of the mic stand. Yes. Is this the first time that it's been on here? No, it's been like that for months. We just taped-- we taped the microphone every week now? Yes, sir. You're just the first person that wasn't able to get it out. It was hard to get it off, too. It happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's good now. We'll see if other people have problems with it. We're going to keep an eye on that. Heidi in the pack room. Maybe we get some loop. She's just got loop. And she can loop. Heidi, can you come out for a sec just for some loop? Right here. Give it up for Heidi. She's got some loop. Can you just try to loop it up? Ooh, that'll fit. Look at that. You got to love it. Dude, the whizzle just popped. Yeah. All right. One more time for the great Paulie Shore ladies and gentlemen. There he goes. Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise. Okay, there he goes. Paulie Shore, everybody's still here. It's like a ghost, this fucking guy. Let's pop up anywhere. Make some noise through your first fucking pool of the night. It's Bob Bigger staff, ladies and gentlemen. Look at this. Bob Bigger staff. What's up? My name is Bob Bigger staff. That's my real name. Bob Bigger staff. It's Robert Bigger staff, obviously. If any of you guys speak Spanish, it's pronounced Roberto Grande Cock. My wife just got new tits because she had breast cancer. Should have waited a couple seconds before you cheered on that one. She's fine, though. I, you guys heard of the horrible disease, ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease, terrible disease. Beginning of the year, actor Eric Dane, he had a special on Netflix where they had an interview with him. Because he had died from ALS. He had been diagnosed with it one year earlier. And one year later, he was dead from ALS. My dad got diagnosed with ALS in like 2001. And he's still alive. My point is Eric Dane's a bitch. My dad and Stephen Hawking are two of the strongest human beings you will ever meet your life. All right, I'm done. Well, yeah, Bob Bigger staff. Welcome, welcome. This is your first time on the show, correct? It is. Hi, Bob. How long have you been on standup? A while. Okay. A couple of decades. I love that. We're at. Houston lived in New York for a little bit. I love it. How are you born and raised in Houston? No, I was born in Florida and lived in upstate New York. Going to school and then been in Houston most of my life, though. Nice, Bob. I love it. So a couple of decades. And what did you do in New York? When I lived in New York City. Yeah. Just, you know, doing comedy. 2018 to 2021. What made good time to be in New York City. Yeah, crazy times. Well, you made you left because of the pandemic, basically. Yeah. Well, that and my fiance at the time got breast cancer. Oh, so that's true. Yeah. Wow. That's true, yes. And your dad would have to be a big piece of shit, you'd be surprised how many would people sign up for this show, Bob? People ask me that. Is that true? Did your wife have cancer? Like Jesus, what kind of asshole do you think I would be? Did she really have to make up them a wife had cancer just so possibly you would buy one of these wristbands that I sell after? Did she really lose both of them, Bob? Or just usually it's just Juan, it's rare when someone loses him too. She had a, not that anything's little, but she had a tiny speck of cancer in one of her boobs and she decided to have a double mastectomy. She's got big new boobies, they're delicious. That's amazing. She doesn't have any nipples anymore though. They couldn't put her nipples back on. Oh, yeah. That's all right. Sometimes if she's asleep, I'll put chocolate chips on them. Hell yeah. She wakes up, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Or if you go to like dick sporting goods, they have air mattresses and they have those patch kits, you can just stick them on. That's, that's a good point. How much bigger did she go? What's she, give us a ballpark here? She had like bees before maybe? Yeah, maybe they're seas now. They actually, the doctor actually did put in like one size bigger than she wanted her to. Hell yeah, they give you a little wink. Oh yeah, I wasn't complaining, believe it. I'm like, I'm like, keep going, keep going. That's amazing. I'm not like a doctor. You know that. Right. What? But Bob Biggercock, when you have a, when a woman gets the fake ones put in, can she still lactake and those breast-produced milk, Bob Bigger Balls? No. It's not the worst I've been called. No, I mean, I'm not a doctor either, but no, no, no, they cannot make milk. Yeah, she also have to be pregnant. Are you a doctor red band? Sometimes. We do. We have called him doctor red band quite a few times. You have? Red bands, the kind of guy that would take fake tits and put a juice box of milk next to the fake tits and suck on the straw of the juice box to pretend like there's milk inside the fake tits. Chocolate milk. I've seen that movie. You're like a dairy queen. Red band scene at all. Have you ever sucked on a nipple-less tip before? No, I actually have not, but I, I've seen Tatooza. They have these realistic tattoo artists that make it look like they have huge Ayolas. Yeah, they, yeah, she didn't get that. Oddly enough, they. The way they like tied them up when they, it looks like she has nipples, just they're all the, it's like a balloon knot. It's just all the same color. Oh, yes, it looks just like a butthole red band. My wife's nipples look just like a butthole. Bob Bigger's staff definitely knows Red Band's brand of humor. Everything turns into a butthole. Well, I believe me. I got plenty of stories about buttholes. Let's hear one. We love a good butthole story, Bob Bigger's staff. I, a few years ago, I, well, a few years ago I lost, I lost like 60 pounds. You know how I did it? Cancer. Oh, you had it too. Oh my god. In the funniest place, you can get it. The butthole. Oh my god. Unbelievable. That's Red Band. In the butthole. Wow, colorectal cancer. Damn, how old were you? I'm all right. Well, I'm 54 now. I was like 51. Okay. Do you still have a butthole or do they still show you? I do. No, everything works. I'll show it to you guys later if you want. Wow. Everything works. I had a bag on my stomach for like five months. Man, you don't realize how much you miss pooping out of your butt. Yeah. Until you can't do it for five months. That is, when I got the red band's dream interview. Yeah, it isn't credible. It's like what? Go on. Well, let me tell you, when I got the bag removed and they reopened, reopened the new butthole, I got to tell you, I'm not embarrassed to say that first dump I took out of that new butthole. I came a little bit. Wow. That's incredible. Is it a better butthole? Like, is it bigger? No, no, no. I mean, they didn't actually do anything in my butthole. The surgery, I don't know what that was. The surgery, they actually, they use robots. They went through my stomach. Do you know how much you have to fuck up your butthole to when they're fixing it? They're like, and we'll just go through the front. Wow. That's incredible. God, do you have any like, jolly leukemia stories you can share with them? I mean, it all worked out. You guys, you ever see, let me ask you guys this, you ever see at the hospital? They'll show somebody like on the news and they're ringing a bell at the hospital. You guys know what that means and they show them ringing a bell. What does it, what does it mean? Cancer free. Oh, no. That is not what it means. That's what I thought it meant. It just means you're done with like chemotherapy or radiation. So they have me ringing the bell and I'm like, but I still have to have surgery. And they're like, just ring the fucking bell for the video. Oh, interesting. Yeah, it could be that bell. That bell's better than that bell. That's for sure. I think that was lunchtime. Well, Bob, thank you so much for coming on Red Band. I would love to have you on the secret show Thursday. And he is a big joke, but. Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to keep it moving along here. Jeremiah, you don't have to worry about that. You just. One more time. It'll be lovely. Heidi, everybody. Coming out here. Working double time today is a microphone consultant and serving drinks. Hello there. You know, if you've been sitting on a business idea, Shopify makes it easy to turn that idea into something real. 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The infrastructure is already there. You just bring the idea. There's no doubt about it. With Shopify, nothing stands between your idea and a real business. So go make it one. Start your free trial at Shopify.com/killtony. We know this next bucket bull, very funny man. Good to see the return of Mario Tonti. Everybody here comes to Mario with a brand new minute. I hate when people tell you their beliefs on a bumper sticker. Like one time I saw this bumper sticker that had a red circle and a slash going through a swastika. It's like that's cool, it has crossed out, but there's still a swastika on your car. Like very visibly too, like you can see right through the slash. There's a big swastika on your bumper. You don't need to say that. Like I get what you're going for, but like it's implied, you know? Like I just assume that most of you don't love Hitler. You don't have to advertise it on your car. But like it at least makes sense to cross out a swastika like that. But it wouldn't work with other racist things. Like it wouldn't work if you put a red circle on a slash going through the end word spelled out. If you're like, "Oh, I can't tell what side that person's on." Are they against the word? Are they racist? I can't tell. Unless it's plural than they're for sure racists. Like is that a bumper sticker or a bumper sticker? I'm not sure. All right guys, thanks. I'm on your target. Fantastic Mario Tonti. What I love about that set is halfway through. I was getting a little worried for you, but the payoff on that one was very real. Thank you. Sometimes they leave me hanging on that first part. It was great though. The pay off was legit on that one. Very smart, funny joke. How's life going Mario? We know you. You've been doing Santa putt now. Five, six years. Some about seven and a half. Seven and a half. Wow, it's time. They grow up so fast. What's been going on? I live here in Austin. I've been here for like five years. I work at a restaurant. I work at Sunset. That's nice. Good. I have a girlfriend. Things are good. Nice. How long have you been with the girl? A little over five years now. Oh wow. Five years. How do you keep things exciting in the bedroom, Mario? A guy like you and I'm guessing you like to bust out a little finger skateboard or something like that? Yeah, I got nice long fingers. I'm good with my mouth too. Good tongue stuff. I'm sorry. That was gross. I shouldn't have said that. No, it was great. It was great. There was a guy on last week that had an unbelievable set and interview and then we found out he is anti pussy eating and he basically got boot off the stage. So you have to. Yes, you absolutely have to. Yeah, he literally almost got a golden ticket. Then he's like, by the way, I hate eating pussy. Oh, fuck you. Take the golden ticket back. Yeah, no, it was wild. Mario, what else is going on in life? Any new hobbies or anything? Yeah, I've become obsessed with Legos for the last year. I got a Lego set for my birthday last year. Now I have like fucking hole shall not have room for Legos and it's it's it's been a my friends make fun of me for it. They're like, oh, you're autistic. And I'm like, it's my fucking first hobby in 20 years. And all my friends are calling me a retard for it. Tell us some of the things that you've built. The world wants to know, what have you built out of Legos? A lot of Mario sets, both Mario and Luigi carts. The Game Boy, all the Mario, I'm out of Mario sets. I got them all. My girlfriend? Yeah, the girlfriend is made out of Legos, ladies and gentlemen. This is breaking me. We actually do have a Lego of me in her. It's pretty cool. Oh, my God. Do you ever eat her little Lego pussy? Not yet, but I'm going to go home and kiss it tonight, for sure. Have you ever put syrup on it and pretend it's an ego pussy? Not yet. You will. I've heard you know. When she's not in the mood, does she ever put a bumper sticker on her crotch and tell you to f off? Yeah, a big circle over it now, not tonight. It's period night. Yeah, that's the red slash, the fucking period. Yeah, I was joking. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. I love it. Mario, you look good. You're hilarious. You did it again, Red Band. Mario, I love to have you on the secret show Thursday. Yeah. BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM. BAM, BAM, BAM. BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM. BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM. Oh, here's a big jokebook. Mario, here you go. Thank you. Mario, taunt to you, ladies and gentlemen. All right, we're keeping it moving. Your next bucket poll, ladies and gentlemen, goes by the name of Ronnie Rorback, everyone. Here comes Ronnie Rorback. Oh, did you guys hear I Scott someone yesterday? Holy shit, my mom texted me. She's white, and she goes, "Hey, you're Ann and Uncle are worried about you. Bitch, you're not." And like, honestly, what does she have? Like a life insurance policy out on me. She hasn't told him about me. She's like, "I hope they must take him for a legal." And like, the worst part is, like, I think my mom cares about me, but she doesn't. Because the other day, she goes, "She called me over, and I was helping her in the bathroom. She put a blood pressure cuff on my arm, and she put it, and it was perfect reading." And she's like, "Fuck!" I went home. She sent me a care package of Doritos and popcorn. This bitch wants me to die just to prove a point. Oh, no, honestly, it is cool. I just celebrated ten years on my citizenship. I've lived here for 27 years. My parents didn't tell me, like, they didn't tell me, but like, they saw the wounded armor, like, we could get him on a discount. Ah, shit. What's up, guys? Okay. That's the way that it dismounted. There he is. Ronnie Roarback. You've been on the show, correct? Right? Okay. Welcome back, Ronnie. Absolutely adorable. I didn't know that they--that's, by the way, this is one of Mario Tonti's Lego creations, everyone. This is an Ewok from Star Wars, built out of Legos, Mario stepped on the left arm at one point and cracked one of the blocks, and it's a little bit janky here. Ronnie, remind us. What's going on with that wacky left hand? I got cerebral palsy of my left arm and leg. Oh, shit. You know what that means? You're going to be a star. Welcome, Ronnie. How long have you been on stand-up? Uh, almost seven years now. Wow. Tell us where. What part of San Antonio have you been doing this in? Yeah, I wish I started to Detroit. Ah, the San Antonio of the North. Oh, yeah. Welcome, welcome. So, you're from Detroit? Yeah. Okay. Well, I mean, like I was adopted by white people, but they probably did Detroit, yeah. That's amazing. And you're originally from where? Guatemala. Wow, they adopted you from Guatemala. Very lateral move. Hell yeah. Very interesting. Very interesting move. A white couple from Detroit went to Guatemala. And you already had cerebral palsy, so they were really, they were double-dip in there. I don't know, 'cause like my dad, he would always threaten to send me back. Oh, wow. That's, that's how you became a comedian. That's how it happens. You're a senior cerebral palsy correspondent, Harlan Williams, ladies and gentlemen. No, I'm very, I'm fascinated. I'm looking at your hand and I'm like at a fish looking at a fishing lure. I can't stop staring at it. And if you don't mind me asking about it, because your middle finger is doing stuff that I haven't even seen at a Cirque du Soleil show, would you do me a favor, my guy, and just flip me off with that middle finger? Oh, man. Oh, that, he's, I feel like I'm being flipped off by Salvador Dali right now. Wow, can you pick your nose, but with this hand and it picks the other side? I wish, I can't get it up there, man. It's like it bottoms out. What if a poly can help you later? Why would that be a thing, Harlan? What? How could poly help him? Well, poly couldn't get it out either. I bet if we rubbed some Viagra on that, they could be able to get it up there, huh? That's amazing. I mean, I'm not making fun of it. It's actually quite fascinating and it, it's fully functional. You look like you love popcorn. The sad part is, I eat popcorn every fucking day, you're right. You do love popcorn? Oh, so, oh my God, tell us about this love of popcorn. See, this is what I love. When people give me information to work with, tell us, well, like, because I've been doing a lot of research on this, it's, you got to go like over the stove popcorn, all this bag shit's going to kill you, and it never tastes as good. Like the salt never sticks to the fucking kernels, you got to fucking do it. The way you want to do it. I pour fucking a pound of butter on that shit. A pound of butter? Oh my goodness. Jeremiah Watson. Do you notice when he started talking about popcorn, his fingers straightened out. It's unbelievable. It is unbelievable. We found the pop secret to his condition. Would it be cool for you to give us a demonstration of how you grab popcorn with that hand? Oh my goodness. Oh my God. You're like, Orville Octopoppy. Did I feel like the popcorn, like, this looks at me. They feel like the claw from Toy Story as it is. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, no. He's got to give me. Do you ever go to Toys or Us and just shoplift? I wish, man. Oh, he'd be great at it. The problem is people treat cerebral palsy as a real disability. No? No. I can't even collect disability. So you're faking it? No, I'm not faking it. I don't even have my handicap sticker. Wait. What? Don't even have a hand. Forget about a stick. Yeah. Yeah. That is amazing. Why do you not have a handicap sticker? How do you not qualify? Well, first of all, I just got health insurance like a week ago. I'm like, oh, because I haven't been to the doctor in five years. And I know I should be going to the doctor every year, but it's hard to afford. What do you do for work? They're my young Ronnie Rollerbeck. I do door-dash. OK. Oh, wow. Do those fingers ever get caught in the food on the door? It depends on the packaging and what they ordered. If it has cheese, no, I've been-- please tell us. The world wants to know the science behind a hungry door-dash driver like yourself. I-- OK. Just mad at the world. You at least spend most of your time with no health insurance. You don't have a handicap sticker. You're just out there door-dashing and you're a hungry little boy, aren't you? I get so-- you're so hungry, aren't you? Oh, my goodness. It's the worst part is because I hate when people don't give their gate codes right away because if you don't give your gate code right away, you're a piece of shit. And also for you, yeah, exactly. [LAUGHTER] I'm going to help you make more money, OK, buddy? I want to see you, Prosper, so this is what you do. You hand them the bag with the good hand and you say, hey, can you give me an extra tip? I slammed the car door on my finger. [APPLAUSE] Oh, that's brilliant. Yeah. That's brilliant. You're going to be rich in about a week. Try it. Say that. Pretend like he's a door-dash customer and you say that. Have you got my P.F. changs? Yes, here's your food. Thank you. Can I get an extra tip? I accidentally slammed the door on my bed. Holy f-- [LAUGHTER] Amazing. It works. It works, Ronnie. We're back. Can you shoot webs? Yeah, I wish. I can't turn it over, man. OK. That's a problem. Like, I hate going to big events where there's stairs with no railings and my hands are full. I take forever to go down the steps. Oh, my goodness. Like, people-- like, I've had it where people were acting behind me. They would go, every time I'd take a step, they'd go, aw, aw! Whoa. Every step, I'd turn around. They were acting like they were starting the wave. Oh, my God. It's because your hands look like they're throwing up rival gang signs. Ronnie, what's your love life like? You seem like the kind of guy that is a master finger. Shit, what existence right now? Really? Focusing on comedy. I love it. How about just anything at all? Because to girls since you've been in Austin? Oh, yeah. Oh, perfect. Well, in that case. I'm just able to-- I'm not fully fucking retarded, all right? All right, all right. Jesus. OK, sometimes it's a fine line. This guy put on the shocker? I know I haven't. Should try it. I'm married in a week. This is just my natural spacing. So I'm designed for this. Yeah. He gives the girl a shocker every time he whips out the other hand. She's like, "Whoa, wow, are you on a bowling team?" (audience laughing) No, I should be. I mean, I wouldn't mind it 'cause it's one-handed sport. Yeah. Like that's why I like disc golf. We talked about that before, is there? Yeah. I will go any one-handed sport where I can like, make a able-bodied person feel like shit. I'm playing that sport. That is true. I would beat the shit out of you in basketball. Yeah, probably. Yeah, no doubt about it. I would do like all these cool moves and stuff. It'd be crazy. Lay up, finger roll. (audience laughing) I think you could be really good at shadow puppets, though. Like you could do like these weird, like, mid-game stuff. Yeah. So things. I, like, 'cause I always wanted to try to spell, like, blood and everything with my bad hands, but like they moved you much so I could never get the lettering down. I'm a master of, I'm famous for being able to make joke books in people's bad hands. Can you put the microphone back in your right, put your hand up against your chest? Now, a little bit closer. There you go. Yeah, just like that one, then you're just gonna tighten it up when I get close to it, right? I'm gonna get it right in there, ready? Oh shit, fuck my bad, it's crazy. Almost hit him in the fucking face. That's really bad, everybody. It's like OSU. All right, one more time, ladies and gentlemen, for Ronnie Borbeck, everybody. (audience cheering) Sorry, we're palsy. (audience cheering) Not stop, but I'm. (upbeat music) Wait a second, Ronnie, get back out here. Uh-oh. Ronnie, get back out here. Come here, grab that microphone. I was just informed by the leader of the band, the keyboardist, John Dees, that you got a stripper pregnant last time you were- I didn't get her pregnant, I nutted in her. Oh, you nutted in her, she didn't get pregnant. No, no, no, no. And like, honestly, like I said, it wasn't my fault, all right? She was on top of me, I have a banner. I'm not gonna throw her off of me. (audience laughing) Unbelievable, Jeremiah. Also, he was able to get that mic out of the stand so much easier than Paul. (audience cheering) Ronnie, you're all good, buddy. You crushed it. All right, good thing. There he goes, Ronnie Borbeck, everybody. (audience cheering) Yeah. Turns out Paulie's more handicapped than anybody that's been up here tonight. Hey, you know that feeling when you try to apply for something, maybe a car or an apartment, you realize your credit just isn't there yet? I've been there. Back in the day, I had no idea how important credit was until I suddenly tried and ended up getting denied for everything. That's when I found kickoff. I didn't need a miracle. I just needed to start somewhere. Kickoff is honestly the most straightforward way I've ever found to build credit. You don't need to worry about where you started before kickoff. It's really about what you do from here on out. Red band. - By making small on-time payments over the life of your account, you're showing the bureaus that you're reliable. It's consistent and easy. No hidden fees, no interest. In fact, users with credit under 600 have seen it grow in average of 86 points just by paying on time. - Start building credit with kickoff today and get your first month for as little as $1. That's 80% off normal price. When you go to getkickoff.com/killtony today, that's kickoff without the C, get K, I, K, O, F, F, dot com/killtony must sign up via getkickoff.com/killtony to activate offer, offer, applies to new kickoff customers month only, subject to approval, offer, subject to change. Average first year credit scores impact of plus 86 points between August 2024 and August 2025 for kickoff credit account users, who started with a score below 600, who paid on time and who had no delinquencies or collections added to their credit profile during that period. Lay payments may negatively impact your credit score. Individual results may vary. - Ladies and gentlemen, you can't make this stuff up. Your next comedian, I know this sounds crazy to you. I know it sounds like this is all made up and produced and nothing is real. But when I come out here, I have a set lineup, right? It's all bucket pulls, I have a bunch of dashes, and then there's some names that are just where they are, right? No matter who the last comedian was, your next comedian is a golden ticket winner. It's exactly where he was on my lineup. There was three dashes in between, Polly and this person, this person, golden ticket winner, one of the best to ever be on this show as a golden ticket winner. This is a brand new minute. You can't make it up from the great Aaron Belial, ladies and gentlemen. (upbeat music) - This is Jim Grapp. (upbeat music) Keep it going for the great Aaron Belial. Oh, yeah, better than Polly. Better than welcome to another episode of better than Polly, everybody. - The great Aaron Belial. Now he has to get his phone out of his pocket. Here he comes, it's real. Oh, here he comes, everybody. Just keep it going one more time for Aaron Belial, everybody. (audience cheering) - I've been on planes constantly, and TSA is so aggressive with the wheelchairs. I say I don't want a wheelchair, and they argue with me. What do you mean you don't want a wheelchair? Yes, you do. No, I fucking don't. And then they pull out their gun, and they're like, get in the fucking wheelchair. (audience laughing) Have you ever tried to use a wheelchair with one hand? (audience laughing) I got dumped in an airport, and I was crying my eyes out on the plane, and the flight attendant walks up, and asks me if I'm okay. And I tell her, no, it's just heartbreak. And she says, oh, no, can I do anything? Do you need a wheelchair? (audience laughing) I started crying harder, and I told her wheelchairs remind me of my ex. My ex wasn't in a wheelchair, but she let me do her in one, so I didn't feel ashamed of myself. (audience cheering) What if she did that for every plane emergency? Oh no, it's the twin towers? We are gonna need more wheelchairs. (audience laughing) Imagine if she was a therapist. Oh no, he's gonna jump. What do we do? Quick, someone get a wheelchair. You have split personality disorder. Take two wheelchairs and call me in the morning. Oh no, little buddy, your uncle touched you. He can't get to your bum if you get in this wheelchair. (audience laughing) Fuck yeah, you're in belil. Wheelchair heavy fat. (audience applauding) Wheelchair you on after, is that like that? How you doing, Aaron? I've been dating a Latina. Who went to the Renaissance fair? And they take that shit seriously. They made her work as a housekeeper. Oh, one look at me and tried to drown me in the river. Oh shit, wow. I love that, that's absolutely incredible. Hell yeah. Fucking, that's absolutely amazing. I was getting stopped every two minutes for a picture. I felt like Jesus to these nerds except I can't walk on water or down a hill or up a hill. My point is, fuck hills. Absolutely, fuck hills, no doubt about it. What else is going on there in belil? Usually I come out here and I make fun of Tony but I'm not gonna do that today. Oh, what you've done. The first time I ever met you, you kept asking me what I wanted and instead I was just a dick. My response was, don't make fun of my disability. You look like you get dressed by your blind base player. But listen, I come on here, I insult you and you just take it. Your show made me famous, it started my career. He even helped me with my jokes for America's Got Talent. I think he told me to cut one and it was a good cut. He has me on his tours, he signed my work visa twice, he tried to get me a lawyer the first day we met. I'm literally selling out theaters in Canada next month and all I do for this man is insult him. That is sick. Now, please get a huge round of applause for my lesbian friend, Tony. Wow, that's just nothing but compliments. What a rare treat. That's absolutely amazing. What else? I love you, man. So I grew a goatee as a tribute to you. Up mine isn't full of come and I don't talk like a dick. You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch. I should have known it was coming. You evil bastard. I'm stealing your Bluetooth speakers after this. I don't want to hear another peep out of you. Do you guys want to see my impression of Harlan Williams? Ooh. Let me tell you how I have sex in a wheelchair. I roll her to the top of the stairs, right? But we need to be safe. I practice safe sex. So I turn her emergency break on. Then I mount her with syrup and an ego waffle. Syrup and an ego waffle. And I glaze her up real nice. You got to glaze it. You know what I'm saying? Glazer up real nice. Then when you're done, you take the break off and push the chair. If that doesn't make you come, I don't know what will my little cinnamon angel. Wow. [MUSIC PLAYING] That is an unbelievable impression. -Do I get to do a joke back? -Yeah. -All right, buddy. You ever find a family in a land Rover and chase them and pretend you're a Tyrannosaurus wrecked? [ Laughter ] -All the time. -Oh. -Oh, shit. Oh, he's got something. He's cooking up something over there. Look at this. -I make kids cry every day. -Hell, yeah. [ Laughter ] -Yeah. Again, I was just fucking joking, guy. [ Laughter ] -Don't keep your mouth shut if you knew what was good for your body. -Whoa! Look at that! [ Cheers and applause ] Look at that. That is absolutely incredible. Master Impressionist, Aaron. -It's because of Canadian. We're both Canadians, so we're having a little like Canadian tutatu la veca la veca shawala-la-la. -Ooh. -Do you speak French? Do you speak French? Does your phone speak French? [ Laughter ] -Let telephone Palais Voufrançais? -I'm not gay. -Oh, my goodness. -Oh, my goodness. -You will be. You will be. -These are very real -- [ Cheers and applause ] -These are real $100 bills. -Come on. I'm not a claw-handed freak. [ Laughter ] Was that a laugh, or was that another -- [ Cheers and applause ] The mighty Chewbacca. Aaron, you are the man. Is there anything else you have to say? Or that Harlan has to say? -I wish she had one. You don't have any in French? -Oh, here we go. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. -I'm not gay. -Oh, my goodness. More money coming out. You're the great Aaron Belial, ladies and gentlemen. Mixing was for Aaron. [ Cheers and applause ] We love you, Aaron. [ Cheers and applause ] -Hey, wait. Let me see if I can make it the jokebook in your crazy arm real quick. Aaron, for your arm next to your chest real quick. I didn't -- no, that's to be close to your chest. I grate up against your chest. Oh, Jesus. All right, you have to -- it has to be like against your chest. -Oh, Jesus. -I'll do the noise. [ Grunting ] -Aaron, wait. Aaron, up here. Don't worry. You don't have to clean up the stage. Just close through to your chest. Here. [ Cheers and applause ] You need a medium one. Put it next to your -- [ Cheers and applause ] -My God. Now it's just becoming rude. -Step right up. It's okay. I made a bridge. It's all right. I made a bridge. Aaron! All right, get out of here. There goes Aaron fallile. Jesus Christ. These Canadians are so polite. They're like, "Let me clean up the fucking stage for you." No, it's all right. We're going to keep it moving along here. We have jokebooks everywhere. There's $100 bills in jokebooks everywhere. These comedians are very lucky tonight. Mixed noise to your next bucket pool. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Glenn from New York. Everybody, here comes Glenn from New York. [ Cheers and applause ] Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Hello, Austin. I am Glenn from New York. I am 65 years old, and I have been married for 32 years. [ Cheers and applause ] Don't applaud you never met the bitch. Three decades plus with the same woman. I don't know how I friggin' did it. Okay? I don't -- women are bad, chick-crazy. I think everything I'm about to tell you, everything I'm about to tell you is 100 percent true. Okay, my wife, when I first met her, she was this beautiful girlfriend, looked just like Winona Ryder. A friend of mine told me, "You want to know what your girlfriend's going to look like in 25 years? Look at a picture of her mother." I was -- it looked like she put her fucking face in a volcano. But the worst part, the worst part, ladies and gentlemen, is the sex stops. Okay, when my wife hit fucking menopause, that was the end of fucking. I tried everything with her. I tried making the bedroom with incense, candles. I asked her how her day was every day, even though I didn't give a fine fuck. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you very much. Wow. Wow, Glenn from New York. Hello, welcome, Glenn. How are you? Hello, welcome, Tony. Thank you very much. This is the thrill of my life. Thank you so much. I -- okay. Took a plane here at 6 a.m. this morning. Uh-huh. I got here. Here it comes. I got here at 12. And at 5, I was dropped off here by my friends. And I'm going back home tonight. All for this bomb. Anyway, so, yeah, that's -- Okay, I love that you gave me your entire day. I tend to -- Well, you like to have stuff to talk about in this question. Okay. That's why I did it. All right. I got it. Okay, Glenn, let's talk about it. You're 65 years old. Yes. You're definitely from New York. Really? How can you tell? Go, go, go, go. Okay. Dematness is leaving right now. Okay. So, Glenn, when did you start stand-up comedy? Uh-long story, but I'll keep it short. I was -- I highly doubt that you're going to keep it short. But go ahead. I started stand-up years ago after my radio job, after I ended, I did a morning show for 12 years. The new owners bought -- a new owner's bought the station. I was out of a job. I tried stand-up a couple times. It was great. It went -- I'm not going to brag, but it went a lot better than this. And -- and what happened is, uh, the, uh, COVID hit. And that was the -- No, wait. This is good. This is good. COVID hit, COVID hit, COVID hit. The economy tanked. My wife said that I have to apply for early social security. I felt like Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson. Michael -- Okay, fine. Let me take it over here. All right. I felt like I was disappearing, like, back to the future, being on early social security, which I did not want to do. Michael J. Fox is who you are. Michael J. Fox, and now Michael Jackson. Big difference. Yes, yes. Hell, yeah. One of them shakes a lot. And the other is Michael J. Fox. [ Laughter ] Okay. I, um, I'm a dad with two kids, and that's what I'm doing right now on an early social security. How are the kids? My son is autistic. He's 21. He's nonverbal. My daughter is 23. My son -- God, I want to -- Did she autistic, too, or just one? No, no, no. No, she's not autistic, too. I, um, I love her. My wife really wanted to have kids pretty early, and I just can't wait until she leaves -- spreads her legs and leaves the nest. That's what I'm waiting for with my daughter. You want your daughter to spread her legs? [ Laughter ] It's a joke. Oh, a pinch flip. Wow, I didn't know you were gonna start doing those out of nowhere. Holy shit. What's your Instagram? Okay, very good. Red Band's disgusting, as always. I'll tell you -- Can I tell you about my son? Sure. I'll go ahead. My nonverbal son, because he is -- he's a lot more funnier than his dad. When you get to my age, it's 65. Sometimes when you pee, it's like jumping on a garden hose, and -- So I'm peeing, right? My son comes in. He comes in, and he's peeing, and he's playing chuzzle at the same time. Wait, you're peeing in your son? No, he doesn't know etiquette being autistic. Right. So he comes in while I'm doing the 65-year-old man pee. He's playing chuzzle with his left hand, and he's holding it -- And he's playing -- What? It's a video game with his phone. In one hand. Oh, my God. Okay. He looks at me, the 65-year-old guy, doing, you know, with the -- And then what happens? And then he looks at me, and my nonverbal son says -- [ Laughs ] He laughed at me. That's adorable. Did you say you did radio for 15 years? No, I did it for 12 years, Canadian. And were there any commercials that had just drawn on constantly? [ Laughter ] I'll tell you, it's 6.30 a.m. I woke up at about 4.15 today, got up and urinated, and then -- I heard a little poll. Turns out my wife had toast. My wife made me toast this morning. I'll tell you. She's going through menopause right now. She will not have sex with me. But the toast is extra crispy today. I'll tell you that. We put a little butter on it. And then you know what? We're going to check in with traffic. We're going to check in with our traffic here. It's still me. I'm the traffic guy as well. By the way, every radio DJ ever -- This is how -- This is how exactly funny they are by the way in real life. What was a call letter? Well, that's the station. WRCN1039 RCN Classic Rock. What city? In New York. It's a little radio station on Long Island. It's like -- You would think it's a sitcom. It's so small. Yeah. And I did that for 12 years. And it was -- It was a lot of fun. And I miss it. And I'm going to be back here because this is the last thing that I thought would happen. This is the best part about Killtony as you can come up here. This is the worst part about Killtony. It's the -- - You can come up here. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, Glenn. You have a good spirit. But you gotta have a little punch those jokes, man. - I think it's the jet, like from coming here. I came down here just for this show. - I love it. - Maybe next time coming a day early. (laughing) - You're getting to the end. - You're a couple of years. - You're okay, Glenn. - Oh, this hurts. - That's part of the game. - I know. - That's natural. - No, no, I get it, I get it. I do. - It makes you feel any better. - You're the least handicapped guy that's been on stage tonight. (laughing) Everyone else has had cancer and this and that. They do door dash for a living, cerebral palsy. - That is the worst half glass full, but I'll take it. - Jeremiah, it's been a long time since you've been on this show. What do you think about Glenn from? - How long have you been a fedora guy? - Forever, forever. - Yeah, it says a lot about someone's personality one. - Really does it, Mike. - Whoa, look at the old wet head over here, you do it. Soking wet. - Look at Texas so hot. - I know, you guys aren't used to it in New York. - It's fucking ridiculous. - Here, keep that hat out, keep that hat out, just like that. Put your hands, just like that. - Thank you very much. - Gee, that was crazy. (audience applauding) - Glenn from New York, ladies and gentlemen. - Ladies and gentlemen. - That is one of the fucking wet heads I've ever seen in my entire life. - It looks like a Cuban Adams family care. (laughing) - It's fucking hot here, even in the shadows. - It is literally, I have the temperature right here. - Oh, where the fuck did my thermostat go? - I think you know where it is. - Who took my fucking thermostat? How's that possible? It was here earlier. - Oh, we don't like the worst night of my life yet. - We are. (laughing) - Anyway, it's like 72 degrees in here. - You still got a fly home alone with your band roll on head. - Glenn, we love you. You tried your best, buddy. - Thank you. - Put that mic stand back where you found her right up there on that red X. There you go. There you go, it's Glenn from New York. Yeah, it is Glenn. Holy fucking shit, ladies and gentlemen. - That's why radio's dead, by the way. - Yeah. (crowd cheering) If you think former radio DJs doing stand up is bad, you should go listen to their podcasts that they're trying to do. They have no idea how to be present. Make some noise to your next bucket poll. It's a brook, make men away, everybody. Brook, make men away. (upbeat music) - What's up, guys? So I am 34 and some of the first music I remember really jammed to was like, Asher, Mario, Chris Brown. I know y'all remember Chris Brown. He said, I don't need, actually no. Mr. Brown said, and I quote, I don't need another woman. I just need your all or nothing. I don't know about you, but if a man looking like Chris Brown saying those words to me, I definitely would not think he was implying my bottom lip and lip cheekbone. Don't get me wrong. I don't think there's anything funny about being a domestic abuse victim, but I do feel like I'm all talk about it. I'm all the joke about it. It's kind of like that one word. That one word some people can say. I know y'all know. I know you know it dude, say it with me. I'll start, I'll start. Knit, knit to pick. If you say that word and you're not supposed to, I obviously cannot say it. But if you're in the club, you can say it. If you're invited to the cook out, you can say it, you know. That other one though, thank you. That other one though, domestic abuse victim. Guess who was invited to the cook out? Hey, I even got a hand-delivered invite. Not to brag. My man wanted me to come so bad, he followed above good. OK, Brooke McManoway, welcome to the show, Brooke. This is your first time, correct? Yes. How long have you been on stand up? This is my fifth time. Fifth time, ever. What made you choose to come on a show like this? That's absolutely seen by millions of people and is famously nuts. Seems like a lot of fucking fun. I love it. How does it feel now that you're here? The bright lights? It feels good, I am not shaking at all. You are shaking. I feel great. And I hate to cut y'all. Yeah, go ahead, Harlan William. Your beautiful long hair. I would just love to run my fingers through your legs. [MUSIC PLAYING] Let's talk about it, Brooke. It is the elephant in the room. The ape's over here. What is happening, Danny G? What? For those of you just listening to the podcast, you would not believe. I mean, I don't think anyone on panel has legs. Quite as hairy as you, Brooke. They are really something else. So we have almost identical legs. I have seen your legs. It is funny. Now that you mentioned, I've seen Jeremiah's legs. You have those legs. Show it. Jeremiah, just do it. Go all the way with it. There we go. No, no. You keep your pants on, Brooke. We like to avoid lawsuits here. But if you look, we have a meag. Meag, of course, is moved farther back into the room than she's ever been before. That's fantastic. But I guess camera, too, has got it. Holy shit. So how long have you been a free spirit, Brooke? OK. Can I tell you about the last time I shaved? Sure. Let's talk about it. OK. So here was 9, too. It was June 2nd of this year. It grows fast. My little brother told me I could not come to his wedding unless I shaved my legs. So I shaved for him. That was in June. That was in June. This is all comes since June, yeah. But normally, you keep it long like that. Yeah. OK, what makes you want to do that? Take us through your process. I wake up. We find it very interesting here, right? Wake up, I shower, and I just don't shave. I got no pros. I just don't-- I don't care. I don't see what the push is for women to shave so badly. OK, let's check in with Jeremiah. I'm just curious how the conversation went with your brother before the wedding. Was it a phone call? Was it in person? Was it a letter? Was it a video that he sent you? It was a phone call. OK. He was out of state, yeah. And how did it go? It was very simple. He said, brook, I need you to shave your legs or else you cannot come to my wedding. And I said, my dress literally goes to the floor. Did he call you? And he's like, you know what this phone calls about. I should have known, for sure, but no. I was not prepared to. Can I ask you a personal question? Please. If you rub your legs together really fast, does it go-- [MUSIC PLAYING] --turns in an air in belial yell. So brook, what else do you do that you find women are under pressure to do or not do the women are under pressure to do? Like shave your legs. I'm guessing you don't shave anything at all, am I correct? I don't shave anything at all, though. Right, of course. I mean, if you have the thighs like that, I'm pretty sure the-- Yeah. It's all natural. Yeah. So you probably have a throw pillow on your pants. Oh, there he is. Demandist loves hairy legs. Come on in, bitch. That's how I know they're there. That's how he found the stage. He followed the happy trail. Holy shit, this bitch made a pubic hair. Can I ask a question about Demandist? Yes. Is he married? Are you married? Demandist? Can I have a kiss? The world wants to know, are you married? No, he's not. May I kiss your cheek? This is legit. She has bad hygiene. Right. It's something from Red Band. I have great hygiene. She keeps the periods inside. OK, Red Band, back to the soundboard. I never thought I'd say it, but back to the soundboard, Red Band. You're on fire tonight with those sound effects. D normally avoids random kisses. No, that's fair. Girls, I have so many more questions, Brooke. So you're like a hippie kind of, right? That's what I've heard. I don't deem myself a hippie, but that's what I've labeled. I did. Do you have a vinyl record player? I do. You make your own coffee out of like a, like a, not a lot. It's not a plug-in coffee machine. You warm it up. I don't drink coffee. You make tea. I don't. Really? I'm a water girly. Oh, just water. You have your own big bottle that you refill. Giant ass bottle. How big is your bush? Whoa, Jeremiah. Whoa. Grayson, right to the finish there. No, Jeremiah, don't do it. No, no, we know. We've seen yours before. That's-- absolutely disgusting. Very awkward. OK, Brooke, what do you do for a living? I'm currently working part-time, waiting tables. Waiting tables? OK, you wear pants for that, right? I have to, yeah, they make me. Yeah, without a doubt. OK, let's talk about your love life, because I find this part very interesting. You have a boyfriend right now? I do not. When's the last time you had a boyfriend? Three months ago? Three months ago. June. Listen, that amazing how that works out. I don't see what all this pressure is. Hairless flies, all of a sudden. Where'd you meet that guy at? At a dispenser e. A weeded dispenser, ladies and gentlemen, a place where people with all sexes with hairy thighs like to meet up. OK, so what did he say about your legs? I mean, he must have. He liked them. Well, he didn't mind-- he didn't tell me. He reminded them. He supported it. It never came up. No, I did not. I mean, the first thing we noticed, a harlan literally, the elbows started coming in from Harlan's left side. I thought he was doing an air in Belial impression for a second. He just starts repeatedly bumping me. The second you came out. And meanwhile, that guy never said anything at all, huh? He said he supported my decision to not shave. Of course, yeah, that's what they say for the pussy. Well, does your armpits match the, eh? Yes, they definitely do. Do you wanna see him? Yes, let's see the armpits. That's really incredible. Since you offered it up, wow. I mean, absolutely so much hair. This is a wild episode of Killtony. A lot of hair. Don't make that face, dude. Now, what's amazing, brook, if I can say without seeming creepy, you seem like a very pretty girl. Like, you seem like you have a lot of beauty. A lot of you. Why in the world are you taking this hair full approach to life? I truly just don't see the point of-- Are you a lazy transgender? OK. Very good. Thank you, Rhett. Good question. No, my dad, my parents-- I'm so sorry, mom and dad-- they're going to shit themselves when they see that I haven't shaved still. Because this has been an ongoing thing with you for a long time, right? It's been a fight. Honey, we've discussed this over and over. How many times you have to go in and public looking like a half cent or half female? Right. OK, so brook. Again, I find it impossible that there's not other things you can think of that you don't do because of the pressure of society. There must be more things. Do you brush your teeth every day? Yes. You shampoo and condition your hair sometimes. Yeah, I feel like I'm not shaving. I'm pretty normal. Everything else is normal, other than a massive amount of body hair. She'd be a supermodel in Germany. Oh, yeah, that's compliment, so still a supermodel. Are you German? I'm not German. What's your heritage? Irish. Irish. John B's has a good question. Do you use a washcloth while you're in the shower, or some type of lufa, perhaps? Bar-a-soap, straight to body. Regular bar-a-soap, straight to body. White people do not play that. I don't know if you know that. They find it odd that white people do that. Extremely odd. It's a thing. Bar-a-soap? Yeah. Just a straight bar-a-soap. They do not understand it. They go, how you be cleaning with just a bar-a-soap. That's what they ask. I have a lot of black friends. They use the same lufa for like three months, four months, straight, sometimes-- Bacteria can be-- bacteria can collect in a lufa. That's a very interesting way of looking at it. Bacteria can also collect technically on a bar-a-soap. I can, but then use the pubes, get it off, and then-- Oh, I can't imagine. Can you imagine what that bar-a-soap must look like? It must look like a bar of hair. It's just the movie tangled on a bar-a-soap. [LAUGHTER] Trouble with Trouble. Brooke McKinney. You got to keep a-- you got to keep at it. Keep practicing. Keep trying. Here's a little joke for four of you. Good catch. She catches like a boy. She's got thighs like a boy. Brooke McKinney, ladies and gentlemen, given it a shot. Very interesting. The very, very rare, extremely hairy thighs. The people in the front row, this poor guy, holding back vomit right now. I mean, it's incredible. The looks on some of the faces of these audience members tonight have been priceless. I love it. Let's keep the fun-train moving along. This guy got excited. He's like, back when women used to be real. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you're into that. Florida. He's pumped up right now. He's the amp. I love it. Ladies and gentlemen, you're next bucketful. And obviously, anything can happen. Goes by the name of Nino. Everybody here comes Nino. [MUSIC PLAYING] Weight watcher is just followed for bankruptcy. About time, my sister stole a fat whore. All right, I'm going to start my minute now. I'm a millennial. And that's millennial, we're all about nostalgia, you know? We missed the throwback stuff. The thing I missed the most, I missed the old TV shows. Like the other day, I had a dream. Shout out MLK. Gone too soon. I had a dream that I was on that show, "Pit My Ride." You know on MTV, the show where they put 50 grand to the cars were a 50 bucks. And I knew it was a dream because I don't even have a car. Exhibit pulled up to my house. He was like, "Nino, come check out your new ride." He's like, "Nino, we know you can't swim." So we put a hot tub in the back of your PG cruiser. And Nino, we know your pre-diabetic. So we hooked up with the sweet candy paint job. And lastly, Nino, we did our research. And you know, you just got a DWI. So we hooked up with the custom gold-plated breathalyzer. Go ahead and blow on it, man. I just hear bubbles in the back. All right, Nino, welcome. All right, thank you. You've been on this show before? Yes, yes, yes. How many times? Like three times. How does this one rank against those? This one sucks. This one is horrible. What do you think went wrong, Nino? Just with the wrong joke, I don't know. You don't know. Yeah, it just wasn't hitting the way I expected it. And it can't be easy to follow someone from the paleozeic era, you know? It's true. Nino, remind us, what have we talked about before and interview portions of your show that was interesting? Last time I hooked up with the gil from Flugerville. Yeah. Hooked up with the girl from Flugerville? Yeah, gil, grandma like to fuck. Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. What's been going on since then? I was recently incarcerated. Ooh, tell us about that, Nino. I did 12 hours. Oh my goodness, I could barely handle 60 seconds. I can't even imagine what that jail cell must have been like. Go ahead. I got a DWI on the 4th of July. Wow, that's a fucking country song. If I've ever heard one. Lost my independence on Independence Day. Uh-huh. It sucked. So what were you doing out there on the 4th of July? I was actually partying, you know? Like, you know, fireworks doing what we do on 4th of July. Doing what your people do on the 4th of July. Exactly. Mexicans love the 4th of July. We might not have papers, but we celebrate like we do, baby. Yeah. Not your guys is holiday, but we let you celebrate it. Thank you. Appreciate that. I love it. So how much did you drink before this DWI? I lost track, but it was a ballpark. Uh, probably like five beers, seven shots. There we go. The rest is history. Perfect. So take us to what you do remember about the process. You're driving on a freeway or a normal road. Yeah. I was driving on the 35. I was coming from New Bronfels to San Marcos. And I literally got pulled over. That's a long drive. Am I correct? No, I was like 10 minutes. 10, 12 minutes. I mean, it was like two, three in the morning. So it was like no traffic. Of course. Just a straight shot. Exactly. And the cops in Hayes County are fucking dicks. Well, I mean, you were drunk as shit. Yeah. But I was driving good, though. I was driving good. Well, how do you know that? OK. Because I was a dumbass. And I was being honest with the officer. I thought he'd let me go. He was like, he's been drinking tonight. And I didn't really think it was like fourth of July because I had forgotten about it. Because I was so fucked up. And I was like, yeah, I had two drinks earlier. And as soon as I said that, he was like, get out of the car. And I get out of the car. He makes you walk the line, which I fucking ace, you know. Really? Do you? Yeah. I think everybody that's ever gotten to DUI thought they did good on the test. No, I did. I did. How do you know you did? Have you seen the police footage? No, I haven't seen it. But I know I did. Because I just know. Because you forgot it was the fourth of July. Yeah. Well, that would have been like the biggest question on the DUI test. OK, so after I did that, he was like, I want to do a breathalyzer, and since I refused it, he was like, I'm booking you in. And I didn't know that that was like a law in Texas or whatever. It's everywhere. Yeah, everywhere. Oh, I thought it was just Texas. I don't know. I thought it was cool to drink and drive in Texas. So tell us about the 12 hours in jail. What do you remember about that? It was cold as fuck. A bunch of edgers that got your cuss. A lot of y-ends. A lot of what? A lot of y-ends. Young Negroes, you know. Oh, wow. OK. Just said black people there, that would have been acceptable, but luckily that's not on the DUI test. Do you remember it all getting approached by a guy with long, golden hair and real hairy legs? Can I recall? You will. All right, you know, we're flying through it today. Here's a little joke book, my turn. Thank you. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Let's get a regular up here to do a brand new minute, ladies and gentlemen. And you guys know this guy very well. Formerly the dark storm of Atlanta. Now the dark storm of Austin here with a brand new set. It's Tetrick Flynn, ladies and gentlemen. What was it, y'all? Dark storm just turned 36 two days ago. So dark storm. Dark storm, let's say I know I've changed as a person. I'm not scared of cops anymore, because I call them-- I'm not scared of them, but I am still a terrified of state troopers. I don't want to get pulled over by a nigga with a motor combat hat on. Like them, them niggas is way too serious. What if he take the hat and then cut the car in half? But also, like, it's like we in Texas, right? the cops in Texas, some of these niggas is generational cops. Like, my daddy was a sheriff and my daddy before that was a Texas Ranger. It's kind of hard to lie to a nigger that's been trained to look for lies. And I don't like them. And it's scary because I'm from Georgia. And Georgia, our state protroopers, we it's called GSP. And we didn't have the only cop organization named after a hall of fame UFC fighter, George St. Pierre. And just like George St. Pierre, these niggas specialize in takedowns, right? They specialize like if you want to be a cop, be a cop. But if you fucking love pit maneuvers, nigger, go BGSP. And if you think I'm lying, go on YouTube, they have hours of compilations of these niggas pit maneuvering cars. They did it to me for a tag light. And then I was like, why does you pit maneuver me? He said, well, I thought you was going to try to get away. I said nigger in a 2001 Honda CRV. How the fuck with what do you dig a pedal to the floor 66 miles an hour? Like that's it. I get in the slow lane because that's my only lane. But I did. I just started like having a better relationship with cops because me and my nephew been watching Paw Patrol. So like even if a drug dog pop up, I'm like, I can't wait to meet him. Like, what if they what if they bring chase? Like you know what I'm saying? That's my favorite Boba draw. I love y'all. Thank y'all so much. Dedric playing. You know, I completely agree with you. Where we come from the state troopers of Ohio, the Ohio state highway patrol as they are known are extremely famously ruthless and and very extremely unforgiving. And even here in the state of Texas, I've learned the troopers here do not fuck around. In fact, I can tell you the only time, little fun fact, the only time I've been pulled over here in the great state of Texas was by Texas state highway patrolman. And, and yeah, he was going to give me a ticket for, well, I'll just say it, I was, I maybe was driving in the bus lane. Yeah, it's the safest lane. Be there's no fucking reason why someone that drives with complete common sense in a very fast car can get over there blow by the unbelievably annoying Texas drivers that love going just underneath the speed limit. Even if it's a three lane, four lane, five lane, six fucking lane, freeway, highway, street, whatever it may be, everyone likes to get right next to each other and go the exact same speed. Now, it's a thing that only happens in Texas, by the way, I can hear there's not a big response here from this mostly Texas crowd. And the people visiting probably don't drive enough around here to notice this. But everywhere else in, I believe the world, but definitely this country, there's a lane to go faster than the people next to you. Now, only here in Texas, I mean, this is a fun fact for everybody listening that maybe you've never been to Texas, maybe you've never driven in Texas, only in Texas is it a thing where in fact, the left lane is oftentimes going slower than no matter how many lanes are next to it. Now, this was a Guadalupe, which again, for those of you that don't know, is about a three or four at times one way street here downtown Austin. And I was zoomin from campus to get back down downtown. And I got in the bus lane and zoomed by everybody, made it clear, made a fucking left on fifth street, heading back fucking, you know, Eastbound on fifth street. And then guess what I see you'll never believe little lights. No, no, siren, no signs. It was just like, and I see it behind me. And it is indeed the black SUV of the Texas state highway patrol, been pulled over on the highway, yeah, it's them niggas, cause the state patrol them niggas don't even be in a car they being like on a top of a tree with a scanner. And then when you drive that nigga jump out the tree in his body and the car form around that nigga like a power range. Yeah, Deadrick, you're the fucking man. Thank you for getting us. Makes the most fear next bucket, but you guys haven't found out there this kind of crazy episode. This one is off the rails, $100 bills flying makes most fear next bucket full. It's Aaron Spaller everybody. Here comes Aaron Spaller. How we doing? I'm from a small town in Michigan. I'm not used to this big city life at all. I got hit on by a gay guy for the first time. I was just standing at the bar and he just threw his arm around me and goes, Hey man, I bet that asked his smooth. I really didn't like how he knew. Never in my life did I wish I had a hairy ass until that exact moment. And he could tell I was uncomfortable. So we offered to buy me drinks. But that wasn't the issue. See, he didn't ask me my pronouns, which are alcoholic. The only thing that got drained that night was his wallet. Israel. Israel would be way cooler if it's not real. I'm Aaron Spaller. Aaron Spaller, having a good old time, chair my walk. Tony, how many sets is the hairy late woman gonna do? Amazing. No one believes that that ass is smooth, little lady. I'm kidding. It happened earlier in the episode. Don't worry about it. Welcome, Aaron Spaller. Is this your first time on the show? No. Oh, wow. Look at you. That's how you laugh, huh? Like a gay haunted house. What happened? What happened last time you were on this show, Aaron? I probably ate shit. I know I ate shit. But you did better this time? A little bit. A little bit better. Hell yeah. Where else do you perform? You live here in Austin? Yeah. You get up a lot of places. Yeah. My, uh, my buddy runs four shows a week and I help him with them. And then I actually just started doing a lot more open mics and doing less of that. But all right. What do you usually at least six nights a week? I am a bar back across the street. Okay. The piano bar. No, uh, Maggie Mays. Oh, nice. How long have you been doing that? Two days. Wow. That is literally a sound effect that's been on the inoperable sound board for years, called evil laugh. There's a clown laugh. Which one is that? Wow. Both of them qualify as your laugh. Um, so what were you doing before two days ago? What were you doing for a living before that? I was their door guy like security. Okay. All right. And you got moved up to bar backs and now you're getting a little split of the tips. Am I correct? Yes, sir. Hell yeah. That's a big, big difference. Am I correct? Almost triple. Yeah. Yes. How long were you working security there? On and off for the last two years. And then when it was like full time, so here's the big question, Aaron Spiller. What are you planning on doing with all that extra money that you're getting now? Oh, you're making a triple what you were making just a week ago. Tell us. I don't think that far ahead. Oh, fucking. You know what? I believe you. I believe you. Okay. Aaron, what do you do for like hobbies and stuff? Hobbies right now, golfing, hunting, shooting. I can't do cars anymore. Why can't you do cars anymore? Because I've totaled eleven of them. You've totaled eleven cars. Okay. How have you how have you accomplished something like this? I like to go fast. I like to go fast too. We were just talking about that. I've never caused one accident in my life. How have you totaled eleven cars going too fast? Sure, we've gone faster than you. Without a doubt. How fast are we talking there, Aaron Spiller? My fat spoiler. My fast. This is 156. 156? What kind of car was that? It was a Ford Focus. Okay. Okay. Were you falling off a cliff perhaps? You got up to 156, do you think maybe your speedometer was broken or something? No, I had a bill engine. It was one of the STs, a little turbo. Okay. Yeah. All right, so it was a little juice stop, little. Oh, yeah. Okay, a little fast and the furious. When you hit over like, you said you're going 165 in a Ford Focus. Is that what you're doing? 56. 156. When you get up over 150, does it become a Ford out of focus? Yes, it was blurry. Do you ever just go and break into people's homes, stand in the shadows and giggle? I'm pitching you with a Glenn Close-Wig on in a boiling rabbit in the middle of the night. Okay. Aaron, tell the name to the other. What other types of cars have you? crashed. There was another Ford focus that wasn't fast. That one died. Two trucks. You crashed all three trucks. You said you totaled 11 cars. Yeah. So how do you survive these very fast crashes? I don't know. Isn't that? I'll tell you how we grabbed the steering wheel and go. Just let his actual laugh happen. We get that thing at that point. I know but just let it happen. Did you ever work at Chuck E. Cheese? Maybe next. Maybe that's my next gig. Okay. I'll be sure not to book a party there. Aaron, before I let you go, other than totaling a bunch of cars, what do you think is the most interesting thing about you? Could be anything. Something we haven't talked about before on the show. I hate that question. I don't fucking know, man. It's really anything. You could say anything right now. Anything. Would you shot something cool with all of your hunting expertise as a recent? No, dude, I haven't gone in a couple of years. Ever since I moved here, I don't want to get to do that shit anymore. Ever since you moved where? Here, Austin. To Texas. Yeah. You stopped shooting when you moved to Texas. Oh, no, I go to the range. But hunting here is expensive as fuck. Okay. That doesn't fit in the bar bag pace. Pace go. Okay. Alright. Alright. Nothing else? What's the craziest thing you've seen on Sixth Street with all of your security and bar back experience? I did almost. Whoa. Was he really dead? They, they, they, they play possum every once in a while. They'll jump up. They'll get you. No. I poked. He didn't move. Is that how you know he was dead? Yeah, I think that's the universal trick. You gave him an actual poke. What was that a stick? Yeah. I think he poked him just to see if he giggle like the Pillsbury Doe Boy. Yeah, do the, can you do the Pillsbury Doe Boy giggle? I'll do the voice and then you do the giggle. Ready? Nothing says love and like a good old fashioned cinnamon roll. No, no, no. Alright, here's a little joke bucket. It's okay. And you didn't catch it. That's a, that's the worst part. Aaron Spaller, ladies and gentlemen, Rough Night for the Bucket Pools tonight. Rough Night, Mario Tante, holding it down for all of the Bucket Pools. Bob Bigger's Staff was good too. That was fun. Bob Bigger's Staff. What a name. A lot of the litteration tonight. We had Bob Bigger's Staff. We had, what was it? Ronnie Roarback. And now we have Put Mix and Noise for Jeremy Jonas, everybody. A lot, it's a very, a litter of episode of Piltoni. I have kids. I like them. Sometimes they ask me if I have favorites. I just give them the rankings. One, two, three. I feel like the feedback's important. But I know I have favorites because I took them tubing. We're going down the river. I had all three kids stuffed in one tube. And then the water started getting real rough. We hit something. They went flying three different directions. And I had to make choices. So my kid saw the rankings in real time. Because I went one, two, three. I just went past the kid to get the one I really wanted. Literally like swimming, locking eyes with my son. Like, you got to do better, bro. It's good to be here. I feel like it's healthy to do things without your spouse. The other night, though, this lady saw my ring and said, maybe you should go home to your wife. I said, maybe you should finish the lap dance. Yeah, Jeremy Jonas, right on cue. We needed a good bucket pool. You're a funny guy. Thank you so much. Come on. Five years. Where at? Mostly here. I started in San Antonio. Oh nice. Hell yeah. How about the bucket pools I've had tonight? You're the last one I would guess is from San Antonio. Yeah, I am amazing. What do you do for a living? I am an anesthesiologist. Whoa, such an interesting job. I do believe that you are the first anesthesiologist we've ever had in Killtony history. Can you draw Mickey Mouse? That's not what an anesthesiologist is. I thought most of the bucket pools were anesthesiologists because they were putting us to sleep. But not sometimes they kill. That's right. It's a very, it's a job with a ton of responsibility. A lot of people might not know that, you know, they say that if a patient dies, it's never the surgeon that it's the anesthesiologist fault. Is this a thing you obviously heard that right? Yeah. But you guys are defensive of that because the surgeon can fucking they got everything there. There's all the veins and scalpels and shit. So it could be there fault too. You guys don't kind of have an odd relationship, right? A little bit. Yeah. It can be contentious. Yeah. And you're still a full-time anesthesiologist? No. No. You're out of the game. You killed somebody accidentally. It's complicated. Yeah. It's a really weird, tough job, right? Yeah. What can you tell us about that? Because these people, these people, I mean, we barely, you know, go ahead. Well, I take my jobs seriously and I feel like I'm legally required to say that. You know, it's, I took a year off. So it was really weird for me because when I came back, there's like no requirement for me to tell my patient that I've been telling dick jokes in a basement for a year. All right. So that's a little uncomfortable. Yeah. It's got to be wild out there. Now for someone, my size, it's a low dosage, but someone red band size. What would you have to do? What do you do, though, than to tranquil out? Well, typically, if we know somebody that size is coming, we go to Costco. Yeah. And we buy the drug wholesale. That's right. Absolutely no doubt about it. He's got to buy in bulk for you to be able to put you down for even just 30 to 45 minutes would be. So Nitrous doesn't work on me anymore because I smoke cigarettes and smoke so much weed. But has anyone ever beat like where you like count down backwards? And then they get to one and they they actually beat it has not for me. But I, you know, I really, you go for it. Heavy handed. Yeah. That's amazing. Now, are you normally there when they wake up as well? Or do you kind of just put them out and leave them with a surgeon? No, I mean, I'm there with them. They wake up. I'm with them all the way to the recovery room. Jeremiah Watkins. Have you ever witnessed somebody after you put them to sleep and they wake back up with a different accent? Let me just ask you this, which was my follow-up question. What's the weirdest thing that you have seen? Because people wake up from those things. Absolutely fucking wonky as shit. I mean, usually not that exciting. Just people trying to fight you, you know, that that's sometimes people usually, you know, redheads, Irish people. Yeah, they come out swinging. Yes, yes, red man. Thank you. Interesting. But nothing in particular, anybody ever like? Well, so the thing is is I had like a weird career. Like I did I did pain management for like 10 years, which was terrible. And so I like tough and big medicine because everything was addictive and they told you that it wasn't even though it was, right? Well, I didn't do like get hardcore narcotics, but I was doing injections every, you know, like spinal injections. Right. And it was really, yeah, it was, it was like, because people would come back and be like, yeah, my back still hurts and I have to explain to look, yeah, you're still really fat. Right. Red band. Yeah, exactly. That's you again. That's talking about you. Wow. Jeremy, how long you been married for? About 19 years. Wow. How do you keep things exciting in the bedroom? He puts her to sleep. You know what? I have some of this money, buddy. That's a good one. Any tricks that you could just got to continue to like the person. How do you do that? Can you teach us how to do that? We go on dates. Nice. We don't want a date today. What do you do today? We went to kind of a not great part of town and eight. That's where a lot of the best stuff is. It is. Yeah, it's a, it's a Chinatown. There's like a shopping complex and we went and saw gate like Vietnamese food. It's fucking awesome. I love it. I hate Vietnamese yesterday. Best, best foe in the city. It's called sip foe. Or five, if you pronounce it correctly, but sip up near campus. Fucking trust me. It's absolutely nuts. Can I ask you like a medical question? Yeah, you don't mind. I love a good medical question from Harlan Williams. It's time to get serious. When you put these people under, they go into a deep sleep. Is it a REM sleep? The deepest state of sleep when you knock them out? No, we're scrambling the eggs. We're going deep. Yeah. So my question is, because a lot of people when they're in deep sleep, they talk in their sleep. Do you ever get people when you put them out, they start talking in their sleep? Well, there's a breathing tube in a lot of times. It would be hard. So it sounds like the didgeridoo that they put on their throat. Okay, it just sounds like stevo. I'm so tired right now. I'm like sleeping like, so bad. Oh, my throat, I'm sleeping. Oh, god. You have kids, share me. I do. I have three kids. Three kids? Yeah. What's the age range there? 16, 14, and 11. Oh, wow. How's that going for you? Anything crazy? Dude, they're fun. I mean, like the favorite story. I mean, that happened, and we're tubing. And they just, like, fell out. And I was like, sorry, I got to get this guy first. That's amazing. Any of them autistic? No. Amazing. We have almost everybody with a kid today as autistic kids. Fully vaccinated, everything, right? From the getter, were you a little off? I mean, they didn't get the COVID vaccine, but everything else. Smart, smart. Those people back there that understand that. What made you not give them the COVID vaccine? You were kind of curious about it. Came out kind of fast. I mean, I wouldn't have gotten it, but I felt like if I didn't, I would be forced not to work. They did, but I basically told you that, right? And even at the comedy story, you had to get a fake card from your Mexican friend. [LAUGHTER] George. I love it. Jeremy, anything else crazy about your life we should know about? You seem like such an interesting guy. We've been craving for a bucket pool that actually has a shit together and prepared for this today. So we're a little bit star-struck to meet you, believe it or not. [LAUGHTER] Any other fun facts? Do you have any wacky hobbies or anything? I go to Ukraine for medical mission stuff. Well, that's cool. Yeah. Amazing. [APPLAUSE] They probably need you over there, right? Yeah, I mean, I'm just doing primary care stuff, but yeah, I go with a group called Global Care Force. They send primary care doctors over there. And so we go to remote areas and-- And you live here in Austin? I live in Austin, yeah. That's awesome, man. Keep signing up for the show. You're fucking awesome, Jeremy. We'd love to see another set from you. Here's a big joke, book. Jeremy Jonas, everybody. Jeremiah is going pee-pee. There goes Jeremy Jonas, everybody. All right, ladies and gentlemen, we're keeping it moving along here. Your next bucket pool goes by the name of Michaela J, everybody. Michaela J. [MUSIC PLAYING] I've been getting my mushrooms from a guy I met at the gas station. The way I know is going to be a quick trip. Good, good, good. I didn't know what jokes I wanted to do tonight. I was going to do my suicide jokes, but people don't really like suicide jokes. I don't know why. They kill me. All right, good. I have a lot of personal experiences with suicide. The man that I dated before my ex-husband did kill himself. And then my ex-husband, when I confronted him that he was cheating, he tried to kill himself and he failed. But guys, I think the next one might try and stay. Be really cool if he did. It's hard to talk about my ex-husband and the suicide attempt, the cheating, the divorce. Because it's embarrassing because he's ugly. I'm making it work, though. Mount here, I'm dating again. I'm a modern '90s kind of gal. You got a roster. Keep one guy on there for rough stuff. I call that my designated hitter. Thank you guys so much. I'm Michaela Jay. Michaela Jay. Welcome, welcome, welcome. You really caught your ex-husband cheating? Yes. How long were you with him for? We were together for 10 years, married for six. OK. How did you catch him cheating? I had been trying to catch him for a long time. And then finally, a girl added me on Facebook and sent me screenshots. He was on his sugar daddy website. Wow. Yeah. And what made her do that? Honestly, I think this woman's like a vigilante. She was like shaking him down for money. And he gave her the money and she was still found me and told me so. What a bitch. Well, amazing. What made you suspect him of cheating for so long? There was a bunch of weird red flag. Like what? Give us something. So that we make sure we never do them, right? So that everyone was informed about not to be him. He-- I don't know. It was a bunch of little weird shady shit. I was like liking other girls Instagram posts. And I've never been-- I was never crazy before that. Oh, well, wow. Oh, my gosh. Liking other girls Instagram posts, huh? Oh, that's wild. McCain. She me on Reddit. On Reddit. Hell areas. What do you do for-- Did you cheat on me with someone from Reddit, too? Actually, I forgot about that part. Look at that. I'm so sorry. I have a couple different part time jobs. OK, you're a fortune teller. And you do nails? That's my guess. Am I-- Dude, if I did nails, you're right. OK, what do you do? I do social media messaging for my friends, voice acting business, and then also a game show host at the domain. Oh, a game show host? It's that fun game show thing? Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, there's a couple of comics that have been on here that do the same thing. Nice. That's fun. Yeah. How about like hobbies? What do you do for fun, Michaela? You seem like the kind of lady that likes to get out there and read somebody's palm. Terror cards. I don't know, palmistry? E really? A little bit. I'm learning. There you go. It's shocking. That basically means that I was right. Yeah. Go ahead. So you're the fortune teller. What else do you do for fun? I am kind of boring. I hang out with my dog. I sew a little bit. Watch Antique's Roadshow. I watch Old Harlan Williams stand-up specials. I love you so much at that. So happy to see you. Harlan, thank you. I was thinking of killing myself later. Good job. Good. Good. Yeah, yeah. Saving lives. I just need a little push. I see you have tattoos. You got some wacky. What's that one on your shoulder there? Oh, that's a little blue heart. Oh, wow. You're going to get the blue diamond, the yellow moon, and the green clover. Heart, stars, and rainbows. Yes. What's that? Yes. Heart, shower, shower, I got it. What did you say? I'm a hillbilly. I'm trying really hard with my diction. And you have one on your ankle. What's that one? This one says, "Deus X Machina." What is it? Deus X Machina. It means God from a machine or the machine of God. Oh, OK. All right. That's enough of a tattoo time. With Harlan Williams, I do believe. Yeah. Michaela, the guy that's fucking you now. Any chance he's black? Thank you for asking. No, I'm not getting fucked right now. Oh, I thought in your material, you said that there's a current guy doing that. Oh, I did say-- yeah, I did have a guy on my roster for rough stuff when I wrote that. Was he black? He wasn't actually. He was not? No, shocking. Amazing. It was my first Asian of my entire life. Whoa, an Asian client? Yeah. That mountain? Mount Michaela? That didn't work out. Oh, my goodness. What happened with the Asian guy? I don't know, fizzled out. Wow. He didn't love you for a long time. He did not. No. He dropped you the whole time. Wow. Where'd you meet this Asian guy at? A bar. Yeah, just karaoke. OK. Sushi bar or? All right. Our Asian guy's good lovers. Who's better? What's the best lover with the Asians any good? I mean, what was the Asian? It feels like a trap to say no, right? Like I'm a-- Well, it'll be a trap and Vietnam, but we're just talking. We're just just talking about it. I mean, we don't know. We have no idea. We're just-- you know, me and Tony have never made love to an Asian. Yeah. Have we? I mean-- Have we? Not an Asian man. Not an Asian. How do they rate compared to the other race? I mean, he had a good spirit. Oh. Wow. That means he ain't pussy, everybody. All right. Michaela, you have been with a black man before, though, correct? Yes, of course. OK. And they tend to rule the roost in the bedroom. Am I correct? I, statistically, more white guys for me. Whoa. Yeah, I like a big tall fat guy. It's weird. Oh, OK. Yeah. He wore just a few inches away. Just a few inches away. Just a few inches. A few inches away. [LAUGHS] He's talking about it over there too. I love that he makes his voice different for being a short guy. Hey, what are you doing? Leave me alone, man. All right. When he's sure, he's got a different voice, everyone. When two larger people make love, does it sound like raw hamburger patty's falling off a counter? Yeah. I thought so. Thank you. Next. Wow. Michaela, any other fun facts about you before I let you out of here? I don't think so. I run a Tuesday night standup show in North Austin. A bar called Nomad. It's called Scratch Off Comedy. All right. OK, OK. Well, ladies and gentlemen, there she goes, Michaela J. Everybody here say, here's a medium joke book for you, Michaela. There you go. OK, ladies and gentlemen, your next bucket poll goes by the name of Brian Sets. Everybody here comes Brian Sets. We know this guy very funny, man. Two minutes by Brian Sets. All right. Yeah, I just got married. My wife turned 35 last week. Yep, looks like we're going to have to put her down. You know, just 'cause if you do the math in woman years, that's like 35. (audience laughing) It's crazy, dude, I don't know. I don't think women are dogs, but I do think women have dog-like tendencies, you know? Like, she'll have her food, and I'll have my food, and then she'll start gunning for my food. What happens when you make 'em upset, huh? You gotta take 'em on a walk, you know? I'm black, I can't talk to my lady like a black guy. I gotta talk to her like she's a dog, you know? Soon as she wakes up in the morning, hey girl, hey, how are you? Oh my gosh, that's a good stretch, yeah, good girl. Whoa, you know? Have you had your water today? Do you want a treat? Do you want to fucking throw a Zanex in her mouth? (audience cheering) You know, it's crazy. I don't know, as soon as the keys get going, hey, where are we going? Where are we going? I managed to teach her, sit and stay. I can't make her come. (audience laughing) Can't teach an old dog. An unbelievable set by Brian Says. Fantastic. Absolutely hilarious, Brian. Welcome back on the show. Are you really married? Sure. (laughing) It works. It works. Do you even have a girlfriend right now? I'm fucking Michaela. (laughing) She thinks you're Asian. This is the nice snow on you. (laughing) Probably. (upbeat music) Tell us more about you, Brian, says what's been going on in life. Gosh, you know, doing, traveling, you know, I think you're hooking up, fucking traveling. We've been traveling too. I've been all over the country. I went to Houston. Wow. (laughing) It's a long. I think you went to raw stress for less. Where'd you get that miniskirt? All right. Same place you got that shirt, nigga. You like that? (laughing) Not really, but. (laughing) Why do you have your, your pants tucked in your, are you going to bargaining later? What's going on? (laughing) What's up? All right. I haven't seen that look since "Gulliver's Travels." (laughing) All right. (laughing) Appreciate you, verbal. I like it. I like it as hip. It's cool. Really? Yeah. Okay. And the comb and the hair and the little dairy queen flip at the top. All right. All right. Here's a little, little shades of some soft serve. I like it. You got, all right. You got the science group. Yeah. You want to run your fingers through it or? (laughing) Maybe, all right. All right. We're getting off the beaten path. You are correct, Brian. I completely agree with you. What's been going on in life? Like, what's your situation right now in any form or matter? Other than traveling to Houston as your entire identity this week. (laughing) Which, by the way, we know you're wearing a Fila jacket. We know you were just in Houston. That's what they, that's what everyone leaves with. All right. Yeah. No. It's good. I mean, my life's been interesting. You know, I've been watching the news. What are you seeing on the news, Brian? Just a lot of stuff in Houston. (laughing) What are you doing? (laughing) What? (laughing) Okey dokey. (laughing) Should I go back to the wardrobe stuff? No, no, no. Don't do it. Still digging over here. So, do you have any hobbies or anything like that? Are you into anything other than going to Houston? Um. (laughing) Just kind of driving to Houston on, uh, no. Hobbies. Um. Gosh. It played chess. I, uh. Fuck you. I'm going back to the wardrobe stuff. Here we go. (laughing) There must be something, Brian. Anything at all? I mean, I'm, I'm trying to fuck bitches, dude. I, I do stand up and I'm looking for hose. Well, tell us about that. How's that going? What have you learned about hose recently? Since we just found out that you're not married to a 35-year-old. The truth is coming out. I'm sorry. The guy tried, the guy tried to tell us earlier that his wife had breast cancer, except that was real. Oh, okay. You're not married. Is what we're finding out. No, I'm good with the ladies, though. I, uh, I used to work at a battered women's shelter. Oh. Yeah, it was during COVID. Oh. I worked from home and, uh. (laughing) There it is. Yeah. Hell yeah. It's roundy women out there. Uh, no, I'm on the apps. The apps are interesting, you know. You on the apps, Tony? Definitely not on the app. Okay. Maybe it just be. But, uh, yeah, I'm on there, you know. It's tough, because a lot of women are. Makayla-sized. And I'm not, uh, I'm not really, I'm just not in the, okay. I'm black, but I'm not in the fat bitches. And I know if. Why do you think that is? Um, did you notice this happened after you dyed your hair blonde? I'm trying to get us far away from the black thing as I can, Tony. And, uh. It's not working out. Too bad this thing. All right. (laughing) All right. Dude, I just got to ask, if you got, when you were a baby, did your ears ever grow? Okay. That's a good point. You do have tiny ears. Harlan has noticed that you have tiny ears. I agree. Those are tiny ears. I'm surprised you can even hear what we're saying. I look like little Teddy Ruck spinny ears over here. Harlan. What, what's up with you? (laughing) Like, you look like you're the ideal man, nigga. Yeah, I don't know about that. Yeah. I act like it, 'cause I am. (laughing) I'm not gonna lie. You're pretty cool, Harlan. No, you can rip me. Rip me. Go for it. I deserve it. That your thing wasn't an insult. I think they're cute, but take a shot, guy. All right. How about it? Harlan, you look like the chicken from Acne and Coyote. There we go. Okay. I don't want to roast you. I actually. Well, I'm a chicken. Why won't you? (laughing) Again, Harlan, I'm trying to get away from the stereotypes. No, no. I mean, you said you don't want to roast me, but then you said I was a chicken, so I said roasted chicken. There was no racial stereotype, it was a food, it was a food joke. I prefer my chicken fried, Harlan. Racist. (laughing) Brian, I'm gonna get you out of here. Brian, I'd love to have you on the scene. I'm sick of that. I'm sick of that. Fantastic that, Brian. (upbeat music) The interview, sometimes. I sit on things people know that when I ask them anything interesting about you, they could possibly do jokes. Did you ever notice that? That was a little. And they go, nah. A little like stuck in neutral. Now, is it? Unbelievable set. And then I just. The set was good. And then I'm just trying to set him up. Yeah. He's just going, nah. Are you sad inside? Just fucking hoes. Huh? That's what he said. Oh, you're asking me. No, I'm asking you, are you sad? Get out. I'm weird energy. I'm looking in your eyes. He's squared up right now. We seem a little sad, and I want to. You are at a 90-degree angle right now. I want to come from my friend in his time. You are just a northbound star right now. Look at you. Do you want to go to Arby's later? I have some in the back right now. I have a little beef and cheddar. Bag of beef and cheddar is waiting for us. If Michaela didn't already find it, it's all ours. Dude. This was a bit, but I think I'm falling in love. Well, that's what happens. Wow. Your eyes up close. People don't know. Your eyes are penetrating like Frank Sinatra's dead. I think I'm going to call you the new blue eyes. People don't know about my blue eyes. That's why I have the camera people farther away every week, slightly farther away, because I don't want to intimidate anybody. They're enchanting, my guy. They're really enchanting. That's what I've been told. Yeah. I've been told I have it. Very enchanting eyes. Yeah. All right. Beautiful. Back to the show. Ladies and gentlemen. This is very exciting because this looks like a wacky name if I've ever seen one before. Make some noise for AI Harland Williams, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, God. Whoa. Whoa. AI Harland. What the kill for me, Dave? You. AI Harland Williams. How are you doing, my guy? I figured I would do a couple David Lucas roast jokes if that's okay with everybody. David Lucas is so fat and black, the only thing he tips is a scale. David Lucas has dreads. You know what else has dread? His zippers and buttons. How the fuck are they supposed to stay on that fat piece of shit? David Lucas is the only person who thinks he's going to get groceries after he eats the booty. That's a thinker and a thinker. David Lucas is so fat when liberals They tell him Black Lives Matter twice. (audience laughing) David Lucas is actually Catholic. He celebrates Ash Wednesday, Ash Thursday, Ash Friday, this Ash Friday, next Ash Friday, Ash Friday, after next, this guy's fucking Ash. (audience laughing) If David Lucas dies and gets cremated, it'll be less Ash than he is today. (audience laughing) David Lucas has made George Floyd jokes, and his defense he was hungry, and thought he was doing George Foreman jokes. (audience laughing) David Lucas puts the sphere in Rogan's sphere. (audience laughing) Fat piece of shit. (audience laughing) David Lucas is known as a conservative comedian. He's a member of MAGA, the NRA, the PIG, the needs more O2, the OPP, the KFC, the BMI, the OREO, and the FATF UCK. (audience laughing) David Lucas just had an ankle monitor installed, it's just a mirror attached to his hand, so we can see his ankles again. (audience laughing) David Lucas answers the question, "What if black people didn't like Druski?" (audience laughing) David Lucas is the only guy who's after he's been pranked, caught his refrigerator. (audience laughing) David Lucas fell recently because he's so fat when asked if he needed first aid, he said, "No, I need cool aid." (audience laughing) David Lucas hopes to someday see the seven wonders of the world. He calls the seven wonders of the world as toes, as dick, as balls, a good credit score, as father, a thigh gap in the age of 50. (audience laughing) Page two, you're almost. (audience laughing) Can I pay you to stop? (audience laughing) Yes, me. Not many people know that David Lucas is part of the BDSM community, black diabetic supporting MAGA. (audience laughing) David Lucas is so fat, if he was a slave, he'd be cool whipped. (audience laughing) David Lucas always talks about how many bitches he gets, but every time I see him with a girl, I think it's his stunt double. Stunt double, double with fries? Easy girl. David Lucas was recently in a movie and he's already been cast in new remakes of other classic action films. Breathe hard, men in black, big and tall. Predator eats alien. (audience laughing) 40 years of slave to cake, food fellas, fat man, the dark night, 300 pounds. (audience laughing) And finally, eating everything everywhere all at once. (audience laughing) Thank you so much. Wow, AI Harlan Williams. Absolutely incredible. I was good, I was good. Why don't you join panel for the rest of the show? Okay, I would love that. (laughs) There's not much left, but we're gonna get through it together. How about one more time for AI Harlan Williams? Oh, I was good. The second comedian, him and Paulie Shore, both brought pages of jokes. I could not believe that there was a second page there and there was AI Harlan Williams. And there's still more. There's more? Oh yeah. David Lucas. Oh yeah. Everyone knows David Lucas uses the N word a lot. N word a lot. Need another. Nah. This isn't for the table. Need a bigger size. No, I'm not paying the child support. Whoa. (audience laughing) David Lucas has a real Uncle Ton. (audience laughing) You know, I could see why you didn't do these ones up there. I think these are that. We'll put that on the DVD. How about that? (laughs) That is a great Harlan impression. Harlan, what do you-- I was joking earlier about killing myself. (audience laughing) I think we might do it later. You ready to jump off of the lift? We brought knowing our luck. We'd land on David Lucas and bounce right back up. (audience laughing) Let's do one more bucket pool. How do you guys feel about that? One last bucket. This is a long episode. If you're wondering, if it feels long, it's because it's a long one. We're getting through it. Your final bucket pool of the night. Ladies and gentlemen, goes by the name of Lisa Mendoza, or perhaps Lisa Mendoza. (audience applauding) This is my impression of an ex-cop dyslexic sandwich maker. I make a mean BLM. My favorite thing that came out of the internet was that SpongeBob gangster meme, where he has like a mafia suit and a grill and some rings. I feel like a really good character that would be a good gangster would be Tigger. 'Cause he comes out of the 100-acre hood. He's like friends with like a single mom with a kid. And then he's just like, "I'm the realist and I double gut, er." (audience laughing) Um. (audience laughing) When I moved here from South America, I took one year of American high school. And during that year, the video game Ghost Recon Wildlife came out. So it's about cocaine and Bolivia. And the students, like the boys, knew about the game. And they would ask me if I brought some. And I'd be like, "Sorry, guys. "I had to like cut a hole in it "just so I can make my way back home." "I lost Hansel to the cartel." Thank you. Okay, Lisa Mendoza. You know, I never thought I'd ask this, but Harlan AI, can we hear some more David Lucas jokes? (audience laughing) Coming right up. Lisa, welcome. Grab that microphone real quick. I'm gonna make this quick. How long have you been doing, is this your first time ever doing stand-up comedy? No, I've done it for a little bit. How long have you been doing it for? I think starting last year. Okay, like a year. Yeah, about a year. I mean, took a break and then came back. Okay, was the break recent? Yeah, like I came back to it, just revised some jokes. How old are you? 30. 30. Let me just start stand-up now. Just bored. Okay, so are we. Lisa, what do you do for work? I have a lot of jobs, but the most recent one is catering and bartending for. Calm down, David Lucas is gonna start running over here, so. Yeah, he loves catering. David Lucas loves catering. Lisa, what do you think is the most interesting fun fact about your life? You're 30 years old. What can you tell us that you think makes you different than everybody, perhaps anybody that's ever been pulled out of the bucket? Anything? You ever have like a near-death experience? You ever save somebody's life? You ever win the lottery? Anything crazy? You ever total 11 cars, perhaps? Anything at all? Total 11 cars. Just moving from one country to another and just adapting really quick. What was the country? Bolivia. Wow. What are Bolivians known for? I need to know for my future racist jokes. Just recently, it's a cat that they discovered that looks like a leopard. It's a tiny little cat. That's on the news right now. Wow. Okay. There's a Tesla thing where they're mining for lithium. Oh, there's a lot of lithium there. Yeah. So that's like known. Yeah, Tesla has been like mining from there. Yeah. But in the kids to work. Okay, Lisa. There you go. There's a little something in there. But for now, you're going with the little jokebook, Lisa Mendoza. Thank you so much. All shapes and sizes of bucket pulls here tonight. The Killtony debut of Lisa Mendoza. The great AI, Harland Williams. We've seen a lot of different things. And there's only one way to end an episode like this, ladies and gentlemen. This guy is an absolute freak of nature. Every single week, he boggles our mind. Even now, an episode like this where it seems like we have all together just come to learn that the per-- Oh, AI, Harland Williams is a little celery stock there. That really is AI, Harland Williams. The man I'm about to bring on this stage perhaps could be considered one of the most powerful regulars in this show's history. He writes and performs a brand new minute every single week. And he never ceases to amaze us. I present to you the anomaly, ladies and gentlemen. This is the real deal. Pat O'Neill, everybody. Folks! I think the Netflix logo would work a lot better for BET, okay? Fucking dead crowd. That's a great joke, goddamnit. Hey, no, racism is wrong. And so's gassing up fat chicks, so let's find some middle ground blacks. Enough, enough already. Come on. We'll stop when you do. Seriously, I'm going to fuck Lizzo. If my cock were gun in her pussy, we're Hitler. And you know, Hitler, he had a micro penis, they say. And I would too if he killed a bunch of Irish people and I controlled the media. Okay, that is enough for me, thank you. The great Pat O'Neal. And you are correct, your detectors are up. This crowd has gone through a lot. This is one of the longest episodes in a very long time that we've done. I was trying to find some wild bucka pulls. I was stalling for AI Harlem Williams to get ready. There was a lot going on here. Pat, how we feeling? I don't know, I fucking lost my voice on Friday, headlining my first weekend. So I'm glad I braved through that sickness for you ungrateful fox. That's right, that is correct. I haven't talked in two days. That Netflix joke has been killing. Yes, it's absolutely hilarious. It's like laughed, I laughed harder than I have. That was fantastic, Pat, you are the absolute man. Both Harlem Williams, you guys got to see the great Pat O'Neal. He does this every week. He's fantastic. That was terrible. Don't say it was good. Orleans is the best guest in the history of the show, God damn it, I'm absolutely. That's the one better in front of him. Oh, thank you. So you are correct, Pat O'Neal on everything. You are the fucking man, and we absolutely love you. Thank you. Seriously, he was under the weather and did brave coming out for you people, and we appreciate the hell out of that Pat O'Neal. We love you so much, the great, powerful Pat O'Neal ladies and gentlemen, did it again. And that's tonight's episode of Kill Tony, just a little heads up. We are. How about one more time for the great Harlem Williams. The Harlem Highway, the Art Benjers coming out now. And the great Jeremiah Watkins, ladies and gentlemen, his new special crazy pizza out on YouTube. Stand up on the spot monthly at the Comedy Store. There is a true Kill Tony happening in Houston, the 17th of October. And we're doing Las Vegas, November 13th and 14th at the MGM, the Dolby Theater at MGM. And of course, still tickets available for the Moody Center New Year's Eve here in Austin Texas. I implore you that you're able to get tickets for that show, and it is going to be absolutely action packed New Year's Eve for the fourth year in a row in an arena in our home town of Austin, Texas, exactly where we want to be on New Year's Eve. Guys, thank you so much for doing this show. We absolutely love you guys. The Guests of the Year, Harlem Williams, Guests of the Year, Harlem Williams, former band leader, Jeremiah Watkins, Red Band. Check out the Sunset Strip ATX.com, Secret Show every Thursday. Love you guys. We love you guys. Pre-orders are up for Heidi Sparks and a jar from what I understand. They are selling wildly at Kill Merch.com. We may have had one Red Band part in a jar, so check all that out at Kill Merch.com, audience. We love you guys. Thank you. Good night, everybody. [Music] [Music] [Music]