# 730 - Dane Cook on the Betrayal That Changed His Life Forever

They're like yo, Vince Fallen just came in to see Dan Cook. Yes, and we're like, "What?" And you look across the room and you see a six foot seven. Yeah, God. He'd give me pep talks as Trent. He would go into your money, baby. You're going to get out there. You know what, I'm the peanut butter, you're the jelly. And once you get out there, baby, the bread's going to be waiting for you. You're going to be the sandwich. You're not only the sandwich. You're the chips, baby. You're a chipsing or a crystal light. You're going to sip that cream. And he would pump me up. And then smack me on the ass as they said. Ladies and gentlemen, Dan Cook. All right, guys, we have a huge announcement. You know that every year for the last several years, we have been doing a 5K, and it's been a great thing. Where it brings people together. From all fitness levels, from all types of backgrounds to just become a community. And whether you walk, run, jog, crawl, the 5K has been growing. And we are here to announce the next one. It is going to take place in Nashville, Tennessee on April 10th. And we are taking to the next level. We are bringing out all the country stars, all the football players. All the we are going to be the biggest thing in Nashville since the thing that put it on the map. There you go. It will be the biggest 5K yet by a country mile. So make sure you get tickets at twobears5k.com. That's the number two. The word bears, the number five. The letter K dot com. It's going to go down April 10th in Nashville, Tennessee, get tickets. And I promise you, you're going to be blown away by just, look like the welcoming, the friendliness. If you have not done this yet, you are missing out. Those who have, you know how fun it is to get together. This will be our biggest one yet. And I'm telling you right now, we will lean into every country music star that we know that we have a connection with. And we will have them playing on stage acoustically. And we're going to have a blast. The party that after the show at Vanderbilt is going to be after the run is going to be the best party you've ever been to. It's going to be nuts. Make sure you get tickets. We love you. See you there. Did you reach out to Pat McAfee when he released his album and go, I released his song? No. There's things about Dane Cook that no one fucking remembers. I go, do you remember me? He said, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you remember? You released, how much money do you make off that song? Off which one? You put out an album, right? No, I put out like, little singles. Yeah, I did. And I tuned. Do you have any remember of how much money came in? I don't remember how much came in, but I remember, wait, no, I did Lisa Lexus, I think after that song. So I was like, okay. And then I'd throw a single every once in a while up there just to see if it would catch. But I think there's so much people don't know about you, which is so cool. I wish I had hidden more stuff about my life. I've overshared. You know, the reality is we want to be pushing something out there that's new and sort of like a, almost like a living journal entry. But a little mystery and a little, I never knew that. It's also perfect and knowing when to, on the business side of things. But like, okay, when should I hold some stuff back and then share that when the time comes? So I feel like this was one of those things. By the way, this was not like with the documentary. Like, oh, let me hold on to that until it was like, when am I ready to share this? Meeting the moment of like, when do I really need to, to be able to sort of let people know? Like, this is why I'm where I'm at. They also had to be some, because I remember doing podcasts with you. And there was like, you were never like, yo, don't ask me certain things. But there was always like a, can we not, let's, let's just veer away from that? That's right. And I remember that. And then I remember you do podcasts. Like, I think you did fucking Segera's podcast. And he leaned right into it. And I was like, I was like, Tom, what the fuck are you doing? Tom's like, what, were we not supposed to ask that? I was like, I was like, it's, it's private. It's like, because I, you know, I was with Matt Frost when you fired him. Oh, shit. Okay. Isn't that great? Okay. To see that email, to see the email Frosty got. Yeah. I was sitting with him. I talked to Frosty randomly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was tricky. It's, and Frosty said on the fucking beach in Hawaii. It's fucking, it's his brother, his brother. Something's off of his brother. If he said, Frosty said to me on the fucking beach. I tried to do, I try, I mean, I'll say you just edit names out. But he goes, I tried to introduce Dane to Dane's brother. Fucking, we were a care lines. I mean, it was like, right. And can I, can I, can I do mind if I to speed date something like this? Yes. Everybody now wants to say they knew that I could have done more and he didn't listen to me. It's a lot of bullshit. It's most people saying I had a hinky feeling about his brother. But nobody ever sat me down sort of like this to be like, hey, listen, let's, let's just have a come to Jesus moment about what I'm feeling. What are you feeling? There really wasn't anybody in my life doing that except for my younger sister and I who's in the documentary. Courtney, we would, we would talk about Darryl sometimes and be like, okay. You know, is he, is he all there? Is he, you know, what are you seeing on your ran back east? What am I seeing west? So she was the only one who really came to me and was like, you should really, there's so much unpack. We've already started so fast. So let's start. There's a documentary that you have. Yes. That is, when this airs right now, it's on pay-per-view, correct? That's right. And then it'll be going to Netflix. Well, no, right now it's on. What does it call like transactional or something like that? Yeah, video on, video on demand. Yes. And then it'll be going to Netflix, correct? Contractually, I'm not allowed to say that. You, you can say that. You don't think. And I can say, I, yeah, that's all I think I was at that Emmy party with you going, is his fucking movie coming to Netflix? Again, I was just an, I was just invited to the, the Emmy night. So, but yes, we're coming to a, a streamer that everybody knows and loves. That'll protect me. Yeah. Um, this is a story that is probably now 20 years, 25 years old, 2000. Well, happened where I found out everything was 2009. Yeah. That's what it really like. That was when my life went from, okay, imagine this. And now you know this, having been on the end of the rocket ship ride. Yeah. I'm on a rocket. I take it to uncharted territories of the universe. I find a planet that's all mine. I'm about to land. I'm going to, like, whatever happens after this, I'm set, I'm safe. I've got, and then immediately I'm sucked into a fucking black hole, avoid. And when I come up for air, I, I don't have the future in place that I thought I had. And the rocket ride, essentially, that big version was over. So, I'm sort of starting from scratch in a new era of my life. And I'm not ready. I don't have the mind, body, and soul to do what I need to do, to bring my brother to justice until I realized, wait, maybe I do. It is so insane. So, I got to see it on two sides of the fence. Okay. So, I saw it when it happened. Yes. When it happened, I was around and I, both your parents have passed. Then this, I mean, it was like justice. I mean, I got to say that it was really a different, this changed you. Like, people say that Tom changed when he fell and broke his knee and broke his arm. And he did. He, something happens. So, when you have traumatic life events, losing both your parents and this happening, I remember running into the improv. And I was like, I was like, wait, Tom changed when he broke his arm. Oh my god. He was concussed. He broke his arm. Via elbow broke his arm in half and broke his leg in half. God, you know, I knew because I watched the show, but wait, so you, that, that, that, there was a fun fat Tom before then. And then we got what we got now. I sort of feel like this is a podcast for another day. But I follow you. Okay. Trauma in your life shows up. Tom and Kanye were cloned. He used to carry hot sauce in his back pocket. That's bad. He used to wear Nike's. But, but my point being is, I went through a metamorphosis after that, which he was never the same version. I, I understand what you're saying. We had some carry his fat body out of a Porsche. Right. And put it in his screening room and he lived in his screening room for like, fucking three months. And I remember Leigh Ann saying to him, you're about to get really fucking fat. Cause he was, because he couldn't move. Yeah. And he was eating muffins with Nutella on them. And he, and he still had with hot sauce. That was in his back pocket. He was dipping muffins in Nutella. He would know that now. He would never allow his assistant to bring those. Well, never say never. And so that was a lot from being fat again. And so he just said he's a pull off these g-upy ones. The, um, he, and I'm Leigh Ann looked at him and goes, you're about to get fat as fuck. And I really think of, at that moment, I saw a look in his face. Yeah. And I've never, I've never, I've, I've seen him change to be a healthier version. Right. A more sound version. He's not as, he's not as like, he's not as crazy as he was. He's not as friendly either, though. I saw him at the store the other night and I literally had to, it was like a meet and greet line. I was like, I, I also, hey, Tom. It's like, I know you're talking a David Spade for the 45th time this fucking week. But maybe just a little nod. You helped me to get my doc made. We love Tom. subscribe, it's a racket. Anyway. So, but he wasn't the point is he wasn't the Tom. He was, he was a newer, he was a better or evolved, more evolved Tom, a more, a more focused, locked in Tom. Like he started really taking care of his health. Yeah. And, and he needed a trauma. He needed a capsizing moment. But I realized, like, what's the only thing in the boat in the first place? Well, I could only identify with was when I ran into the impromptu after all this stuff happened. And I started talking to you and there was a difference in your energy. It was, it was very subdued. And I said, Dan, you feel like really grounded. And it wasn't like, there wasn't that, but you were like, I've had a really fucked up couple years. Yeah. And you're like, you know, I lost both my parents in a year and that's right. And you're like, it's been fucked up. So yeah, I'm just processing it. I went off both parents within nine months, no idea how to grieve had zero, nothing, no therapy. I just went, oh, they love that I went to, they love me happy at work. So I went right back into work. I'm like a workhorse. And then the buzz saw of my brother happens. So you catch me like sort of right in that era. But I got to see it then. And then I see it now as the guy that got to ride the rocket ship. And to know just how precious it is to be given an opportunity to go out and do an arena tour and in this business where you were the fucking workhorse. You were, I don't think people understand this. You were a journeyman at a young age, right? At a young age, everyone was still like, when is this going to happen for Dane? You were, I don't think there's so much to unpack here. But there was any backlash you got was because you gave solace to a lot of us that were like, well, if it hasn't happened for Dane, this business is just fucked. Right. It's going to happen for Dane. But if it hasn't happened for Dane, then it makes sense to me. And then it did happen for you. And you're like, fuck, it meant all we had to do was work harder. Right. Right. Right. Damn. And it's hard work. Is that what this is? Fuck, we were, we've been alcoholics this whole time. Hard work. And okay. Well, that's the thing. That's the part where people and people try to jump on. It was like, wait, why isn't this now working for me? And now I resent Dane. Why? Because the reality is, I was sharing who I was in the other 23 hours of the day. And a lot of comics were not because who wants to see an alcoholic fucking skulking in the corner bitter at everybody. Yeah. Like, those comics weren't really sharing the full scope of what their life was really like. When now we know in this podcasting world, you should. It is all part of it. Everybody's dealing with the same exact things we're dealing with. I just chose to put it all out there at that time. But you also, and this is another thing that really fucking makes me nuts. You were also very willing to share every aspect of your business model with everyone. Yeah. Anyone who asked or was curious or wasn't doing well, but your generosity with that. And I always bring it back to this one day. I've mentioned this a lot. One day you called up and you're like, hey, what are you doing today? It's like, nothing. You're like, you want to play guitars? And I was like, yeah. So I brought my guitar over. We play guitars in your office in that beautiful fucking apartment. Yeah. The La Fontaine building. I love their greatest thing here. And I've ever been in blue. She's department before. Well, actually Bette Middler and before her Balushi. I can do just a podcast on that building. We should. We should. I learned a lot about that building. But yeah. And I remember we were playing a guitar and you turned your computer and you'd log into something and you come back. What are you doing? And you're like, oh, can I tell you something? And you walked me through. I think I think at that time, it was, it was like you were doing chat AOL chat rooms or like, like my, I don't know if my space was around yet. I only say that because I just watched a my space documentary yesterday. There was a, there was a thing that you could put on your, before DMs, there was IMs, right? In some messages. I found a program that instead of individual one at a time, it was called like Axio. And you could put like a thousand chats in one. It was for businesses. So I implemented that so that I could have chats throughout the day with everybody. And you were just like Orlando improv October 11 link. And you told me about it. And you also were the first person to ever tell me about my space. Of course, in my infinite wisdom, I was like, good luck with that. And, but, but you were also willing to share all this with everyone. Yeah. And then, and so having seen that rocket ship because the gatekeepers were blocking a lot of us. And I was already seeing we were already getting the, the drift that because comedy was not yet in vogue for our generation and comedy central was so oversaturated with a lot of muck. It was like, they don't think this is hip anymore. Yeah. They, they're not listening to us. They're not listening to us in this community. And they already have their principal players. We have the energetic guy. We have the, the, the boozy guy. We have the, the, the chick who's, you know, does props and they sort of had those lanes filled. And even though they were aging out a little bit, comedy was not a money maker at that time. Comedy wasn't make money in albums comedy was even on Comedy Central. It was sort of the beauty of, this is the beauty of, by the way, I watch this documentary twice now. My space. Yeah. No, funny money. Funny money. And that's what we're getting to. This is about, this is about this incredible fucking documentary. The first, and I clocked it. I think 52 minutes is this story we're talking about right now. Yeah. Is the, because I think it's very important to this story is to watch how you got to where you got, because it's, I think a lot of times people go, madame and got someone stole madame and money, I think at one point. And everybody, I think so many people are like, no, whatever. I don't think they understand that in comedy, you get, you get one run. Right. And, you stack cash. And, and maybe if you're, again, you get a couple, but, yeah, but, and, and you stack cash and then you get your house and then you get your car and then you, and then you get to relax and pick, and you get to decide when you want to tour again. Right. You weren't given that opportunity. You get to reassemble. You get to come back with hopefully a new comedic journal entry, whatever that special is or now in this day and age podcast. And you get to sort of like recalculate and go, okay, little break. And then what do I want to come, come back with? Unless you're fluffy. And then you do 54 tours in a row. And you don't take vacations and your family sits at home somewhere, going, fuck, can you just vacation with us once he was the most? I remember, I remember being like, I remember the first time I did the Ontario improv. And I was like, who do you have coming up? They're like Gabriel Glacias. I go, oh nice, who else? Like Gabriel Glacias. I was like, what was, and but the week after and they go, it's Gabriel. Yeah. And they go, he's doing three weeks this month. Yeah. And I was like, how, wait, what? Are tickets like $5? Yeah. I'm like, no, no, so $45.50 ticket. He's doing every fucking weekend and we will add shows Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. He was just at Yamava. I mean, Yamava, Yamava, he'd come off the sofa and he's already back. I go, what's this day? And they go, oh, it's a makeup date. He just decided he wanted to do. I'm like, this guy, he really is. He's one of the hardest working comedians without ever, ever out of doubt. So, but you are, you are someone that, when I, when I look back to that time in my life, you were always on top of shit. I remember sitting and doing Coke with the guys that were programming for Myspace. And they were like, do you know who Dane Cook is? I was like, how the fuck do you know Dane Cook? And they're like, oh, we're doing this thing for Myspace. He's really popular on the platform. You were on Napster before anyone was on Napster. That's right. That's right. You were so quick to the first thing there. Right. And all of them, I was doing college runs where I would, I was in some kind of sponsorship with Myspace where I would announce at the end of the show, we can continue this conversation on Myspace when people were still like, what is that exactly? This, this, look, we got, we're 17 minutes in. We're still early in the podcast. Can you explain to someone who doesn't know Myspace? Yeah. What it is? Cause I, I, I, I just watched a documentary about it last night. And it was, it needs to be clear. Myspace was only around for like four or six years. Yeah. It wasn't, but it was so pivotal. Right. In all of our, in comedy, because it was the, it was the first hang that was like a virtual town square slash hip mall on a Saturday afternoon, primarily targeted at college kids, a place where they could go and connect with each other, make plans, post pictures of the frat party or whatever. It was very much geared toward that college age. And what I saw was the ability to instead of putting flyers on windshields, like I used to with the Burlington Mall when I had a gig at stitches for, you know, 15 dollars downtown. I was like, what if I, what if my flyer is digital and what if I can use that as a hub, but then anybody who comes in there and once I have a link to them, I can then go to their page or maybe somebody who works for me could help me and post it on their page. So it was a, it was a portal to, I mean, I'm saying this like people don't know today. This is all social media today. But at that time, even the, even the idea of being on a platform like that was exciting, even to the people that were on there, like finding a new TV show that you're like, we have to watch this on Sunday. Is it Sunday? When does it go online? We need to watch this tonight. That's how that felt for a little while in the social media/internet world. Support for today's episode comes from square. The system powering like literally half of the places I go these days. If you've ever tapped to pay and thought, wow, that was so fast, there's probably square. Whether you're selling merch, cutting hair, detailing cars, or running a podcast studio, square brings payments and the tools you need to manage your business together in one place. So you can focus on the work you actually love it. right now. You can get up to $200 off square hardware. 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Because if you were someone's top eight, you got so many fucking, but there's a moment in the fucking doc where you look at your thing and you go, I got 125,000 my space requests. Yeah. And you're like, oh yeah, it's, it's some of the footage from back in the day. Yeah. Yeah. And I couldn't even keep up. I mean, I literally had to find something online that would auto click, you know, this is before now you can do any of that, right? With AI agents and yada yada. But at that time, it was either me sitting where I'd, I'd have like a TV show I'm watching. I should be like accepting, accepting, but this is the way I looked at it at that time. I didn't, I didn't know the, the scope, but I knew this. If I could have enough people come and see me, maybe I'll win comedian of the year. And as you know, if you win one year, not only does that mean you could win a few years, but then you have your core audience. If you have a core audience, I'm not going to be desperate to like make a little bit of rent. So the goal was spend a couple years on this and hopefully just have like a fan base that's familiar enough. And then I sort of saw where it was going, which was Madison Square Garden and Boston Garden. And it was, it got so big that I was like, not only am I on the rocket, I'm building the, I built the rocket. We were all watching how you built it and going, I don't have all those pieces, but if I have enough, I'll just, I'll make, I get a, I just get a need to rock and take me to Omaha this weekend. And by being serious, I mean, we all, I mean, look, I think I'm going to, I'm going to get in trouble on this part. And I know who I'm going to get a text from. I won't say any names. All right. But there was, listen, I've said this a lot. You were, we all stole from your business model, but we all stole from you on stage. I mean, just the way we presented anything, anything was presented because you were the only one that never bombed. You were never bombing. You, I mean, you would, I remember doing a show with you in, I think it was called guys or like it was on Beverly and everyone sucked a dick on stage. We all bombed. It was, it was a stage. It was like, I want to say you couldn't stand up all the way on top of the stage. Oh yeah. And you went up and murdered. And so I think I remember this. And everyone was like, everyone would do a version of subtle, I mean, there were guys that were really straight up doing, yeah, they were taking your ass. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Definitely. I'm a, because I'm a verbal just I fucking got dragged by Marin for, for one word. But yes, no, there was a, let's just say it was derivative sometimes. We were all were. And I, I'll own it. I had a joke that I wrote it. Patrice helped me figure it out. It was, you know what cops hate when you, you know what cops hate when you touch your faces. Then immediately I was like, okay, that works. It gets laughed. But then I was like, how do I get to the next part? And it was the, I just took a day and I was like, how would they do it? And I go, you know what they do? And they come to your window when he walks up to window when you see him walk up to the window and he comes up and you take your finger, take your finger, nice and so, and stroke is the pacing. I mean, the pacing, but, and I, I'll own that because I, you know, it's a part of how you find your own voices go. How would someone better do it? But you know what I learned? I learned this early on from some of the guys that I came up with in Boston, which is love of the game and go, go, go, gadget mentality wins over a crowd even more than the material being completely refined and polished. Why? Because when you, when you let go of the idea that you're bombing, ego, now this is just for me, something happens in that room where they're like, I'm sort of mystified. We don't, we don't want to like the show or this guy, but that was hooking people. And so that was like my go to if it's the act isn't getting it, then just be like, all right, this is completely for me. And if I do that 100%, then they're going to like, like, this guy doesn't give a shit. He's not even, he's not even, they would start to clap and I go, fuck it. I don't need it. I don't need it tonight. And that was sort of my little cheat code. You had, you had, I've never seen to this day. There's a couple of people that I would, Gary Goldman and I broke this down of people that we loved, even when like they didn't need to be the funniest, but, but the thing they said made us laugh. It was terrible. Yeah. I remember Jeremy Hots. Love Jeremy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's all isms. Yeah. Yeah. We rubbing his eye with his palm for like nine minutes. Yeah. Mitch Fattel, but you, I remember watching you at Dublin's one time. And I don't know if you just had, you had your finger on the pulse of of Hollywood, I feel like you really knew the city and you knew us that lived in this city more than anything. And I remember you just walked up and you're like, Sportschallenge. Oh, yes. Oh my gosh. We take it to the limit. Where? Well, you know, why I did that? Because I admit it's more chilly than afternoon. Because, Vert. Okay. Because the town was not built on comedy. It was built on rock and roll. Yeah. And sunset. You're right. Sunset was permeating with the history of rock. And everyone is forgetting and trying to make it a showcase comedy town, but it's not New York City. So I'm going to implement rock and roll and musicality and the mentality, the grouping mentality and the after show. Where are we going after? Yeah. And so I always made sure that that sort of minutiae was sort of mixed into the Dublin's was even JC. It was his hang. Bubbling of Dublin's. So it was music. It was music was always in there. Dublin's was the place where you're like, they're like, yo. Yeah. Vince Fallen just came in to see Dane Cook. Yes. And we're like, what? And then like, and you look across the room and you see a six foot seven. Yeah. God. He give me pep talks as Trent. He give me prepped, he would prep talk me in the hallway, that back hallway. We're big Craig would stand in front of the door or big Craig God rest his whole. And he would go into your money. Baby, you're going to get out there. You know what? I'm the peanut butter. You're the jelly. You're the chips. Baby, you're chipsing or crystal light. You're going to sip that crack. And he would pump me up and then smack me on the ass as they said, ladies and gentlemen, Dane Cook. And I'm walking out like swingers, just height man, man, man, me all the way to the stage. And I could hear him still as big Craig's walking me through the crowd. And I mean, man, it felt like, it really felt like we were doing something and then never been done before business. And don't forget, we're on shows with a young doctor Ken coming in from the hospital still in his I mean, I feel like we were steeped in the reality that we were all on the come up at that time. Obviously, everybody's gonna find it at different moments. But to me, I saw those shows as we are clearly the next generation of stand up in LA and not just more comedy in New York, but something that was very different was happening at that time for us. - It felt like, you know, I only said this now and maybe it's some fucking old man. But like, I felt like I could name all the comics. Like, I felt like there wasn't that many of us. - Oh, yeah. - Even when a guy was new, you'd see, I remember seeing Felipe Esparza on stage at Dublin. And I was like, who the fuck is this? And I was like, oh, it's Gabe's opener. - Yeah. - And you were like, oh wow. And then immediately we were all friends. So I was just saying to the day, when we started podcasting, the reason podcasting was so popular, the reason that comedy is what it is today is that podcasting was sexy because it was this weird club that you could hear the members talking about inside jokes. We all knew each other. We all helped each other. No one was fighting at the time. If you had a podcast, come on, my podcast. Help promote your podcast and this. And now I look and I don't even know. There's so many comics. - Yeah. - And comics that can be successful are at a certain level of success. And you're like, I don't even really know what this person is doing. But there's numbers or the fans, if you bring them up. I'll look in my comment section with the documentary. There's a lot of, and I'm constantly talking about standup and people are shouting out comics that they're like, you gotta check this person, check her, check. And it's like, there's more names than ever than I'm like, I gotta find out what this person's doing 'cause they clearly have a huge fan base. - Oh, yeah. - That's what I'm not seeing yet. And it's insane. I find it insane. Which I, and I, right now I feel like I'm talking about the first 52 minutes of your doc. - Right. - But I find it insane that like to say, there's this really funny comic and it made me laugh. And I went to his page and he didn't follow me and he, 'cause he doesn't follow you, he doesn't follow Tom. - Yeah. - He would love Tom. He doesn't follow Tom, doesn't follow Rogan, doesn't follow each follows Gilles. Like he follows like, and I was like, wait, do you know about comedy or do you know Shane Gilles? - Yeah. - Like is, like 'cause there's a lot, doesn't follow Bobby Kelly, doesn't follow Gary. - Yeah. - Doesn't follow Big Jokeson, doesn't follow, I think he followed Kevin Hart. But like it was like, he just followed like, I don't know, it was like, I was like, but also there's nothing wrong with that. But it's weird when I started it's, I felt like the first year of my life was getting to know every comic. Like learning who were coming up on that to generate. I mean, you have to be a historian at this point to really want to go back and learn. Like I hope somebody watching this realizes, we sat Howard Johnson's in Times Square mid 90s at some point and had our first conversation. You're coming off the Rolling Stone article that sort of established everything, right? And you know, and I'm still, man, I'm still trying to figure out, what do I do now? I let go of my SNL audition. I didn't end up doing that. And now I'm back at Square One. And so I hope that those young comics that love the whole game want to hear something like this and be like, okay, that's how these guys shipped away at the very beginning. I love that you shared a little bit about that, about anxiety and about like, you know, you were so young. I don't think anyone remember like how young you were when you started. And all of a sudden to be a child put in with a bunch of adults is so fucking weird. Yeah, our group in Boston was really like, there was like four of us that were early 20s and then they're all like 40 to 60. All the killers, like all those headlining guys. So yeah, it was definitely niche. Early 90s was not only niche, but we were being told that the comedy boom as we knew it was over. Robin Williams took the crown. It's the sitcoms are sort of not happening anymore. Income sign fell 10 minutes later. And everybody's sort of like, yeah, no, that era of like stand up being popular in mainstream is no longer happening. That's what we were told. So we started almost like, we're just gonna be comedians in the cat skill way. Like this will be kind of a thing that you can do, but it's not gonna be an occupation that you can really take it all the way until mid 90s. We start going like, wait, no, there still is sitcoms. And this comedy central thing, it sucks a lot of the time, but once on a while, one of our friends is on here and they're pretty good and it's helping tickets. So it was kind of like we started off. It was real start and stop. And even though we were young, luckily young enough to not have a plan B and be like, let's just see where we can take this full fledged, you know? Yeah, your mom sounds like a fucking gangster. You're the best, your mom, your mom. Yeah, I think we got the same moms. 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Even as we started going up the ranks, she looked at Patrice one day. She's like, boom, she looked at Burr one night when he was still, you know, kind of hokey. And he was still like, but you know, 'cause Burr started off real goofy, you know? Tim Burr, Bill Burr. That was like, and my mom looks, she was like, Bill Burr. - He was like, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. - It was like, you know, he was still just a dental hygienist assistant who did some stand-up comedy. So my mom had the ability to be like, boom, boom, boom. She picked winners, man. She really did. - You knew that about Burr, right? - Oh, yes, I did. I mean, there's a fan. - I have footage of Burr that it's like, I don't know if he wants it to see the light of day. It's very opposite of Philly. - I was just saying that. It's like, you know, the come-up though, man. We were all trying to figure it out, you know? I'm so glad we all made it out. - Every time I was, when I found out Burr's dad was a dentist, every time I get my teeth thing, I just imagine Bill Burr's dad would have known. - Dude, dude. - Dude. - Dude, you fucking bitch. He's got great teeth. Bill's got great teeth. - It's so funny because I knew a new dad drank. I knew that because you'd say stuff like that, casualty to me about why you didn't grab, seeing it in my face. - Yeah, yeah. - It was in the act a little bit too. It was in the act, but it was always, you always made it friendly. I didn't realize the, and I, you know, it's your dad. I don't want to say, I don't want to speak out of school, but how rough the alcohol was to your dad and his life and your relationship with him and that family. And I remember you had a joke about your dad showing up in a robe, and he opened up. - He had a good time. - And his junk was out. - Kind of be all yours. - Yeah, this will be all yours. My dad was a boxer, and what I, this documentary, what it prepared me for was this entire history that I had with my dad, where he was baseball player, he was BC College graduate, but he was a boxer. He even had a nightclub that he owned in Cambridge, Massachusetts that he opened up. I think when I was like eight or nine, called the one two club, you know. like a one. And he co-owned that. He just anything but he loved, he just loved boxing. He loved being around people that love sports. And it was like when I was really, you know, knocked down by my brother, it was what my dad didn't get to finish. That made me a one point sort of like, you know, metaphorically look at the sky and I, yeah, I'm going to fucking win, dad. I'm going to, I'm going to beat him. No, am I going to win? No, no, am I going to get back everything that he took from me, but I'll, I'll tell you what, rock it everybody saw me on. That wasn't the completed rocket. And the planet I, I landed on. That wasn't the final destination. I really feel like what I'm doing now with this documentary. And by the way, the follow up of my next special after and what I've prepared over the last three years as this being sort of the lead in. It's like, I feel like it'll be very interesting conversation with you to sit in a couple more years and sort of look at where we're going to take this now. I, I, you know, I've always looked at you the word I use casually as a forerunner because you're always, you've always been ahead of me in the jungle making your path through. And you're not someone who ever looked at like, well, this is, this is where it seems like everyone else has gone. Let me go there. You've always taken your own path. And you've always presented that as I follow whatever path I'm on. I've always seen your path. And I've been like, wow, but I find, I'm inspired by you and you're, because you're so, I jokingly said it, but like you're a mogul man. You've turned it in such an entrepreneurial, you've taken the best of what you do on stage. The best of what was written about you when we first sat at that hojo's and you put your business acumen plus you have an incredible partner. And let's shout out our wives because I don't think where we're at. I mean, yours buys a lot of houses and that's probably a problem. But the reality of the matter is you took everything, man, and I look at you and go, okay, you know what I need to do? I need to do a little bit more. And I'm learning from all of you guys in terms of what the decade meant. I can't wait. I was, I was taking, I was, I worked out this morning. I was taking a shower. I've been thinking about you a lot because of the doc. And the shower, you're thinking about me after shower. I was thinking, and I thought, well, I was thinking that like, if you choose to have kids in life, yeah, there's that material. Like you haven't even gone there yet. You haven't even, that's, I've already written it too. That's how fucking I've actually already thought, all right, this is the kind of kid I think I'm going to have. So let me start working on some pieces. So let's get in, let's get into the family. So, so before we do that, can I just say one thing that really would mean a lot to me to say this to you? And I sort of help with held it in other conversations because I felt like, you know what? I was thinking about this, you know, weeks ago, even before you texted me and, and knowing, oh, man, I, you know, I think I'm going to have an opportunity to sit with you. It's like when I was putting this together, when it first was coming together, I was like, okay, these are the things that I need to do in terms of like cathartic, therapeutically, narratively, but just comic to comic. I was like, I remember watching the, the sign felt comedian, that documentary. And I was like, I want to make a documentary that I feel like rivals what he did because it's always one, one stand up comedy documentary people bring up and it's that one. And my goal was, not only do I want to go toe to toe with sign felt right there. That's my spot. I'm not going to go toe to toe to, you know, with him in many different areas of like what I said, I'm going right at sign felt with this documentary. And I'm also wanting to hopefully fill a space that is when I tell this story someday, my goal is to make what I think is the, the a true crime that is funny. Yeah. And so to be able to finally sit and I will express to you because anywhere else it might come across the wrong way. But I can say what I'm excited about is I did it, dude. I sat in an audience the other day, 500 people in a premiere. And I heard laughs and I heard shocking like gas and I heard people were like, I turned to my wife 20 times at this fucking works. This is what I, when my brother did this to me. I wanted to be able to sit with other comics someday and go. I took that. I put the funny right in there. And I presented the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So I just wanted to say that man. My goal was to I want people to go the comedian documentary and that funny money documentary that day and did is a side of stand up that nobody really gets to see. So I'm proud to talk about you. Thank you. Thank you. And it's funny. You're funny in it. Obviously you're funny in it. What's fucking hysterical is just the detectives. Yeah. When they're talking like those bossing guys when they're like, uh, it's in the fucking pasta sauce. Yeah. Who the fuck does that? 800 grand the fucking wall kiss. Yeah. I walk in. There's a picture on the wall. And I'm like, that doesn't seem like it belongs there. We move it. That's a fucking safe. Yeah. And she's got to look on her face. Yeah. It's so they're calling me when they're finding money. That's only one, that one scene. Let's not get there. Okay. Okay. Okay. And by the way, I don't want to tell too much. Yeah. Because I do think and I feel like I knew a lot, but I didn't know any of this. I was texting the second I started watching, I started texting you. And then I stopped. So I was like, Oh, I'm gonna say and I stopped to because I started replying like, you know what else? You know what else? But you texted me. You're like, Oh, you should have seen the boo. What's her name? I don't know her name. The fucking fat witch. Oh, Erica. Erica. By the way, she looks great. She was disgusting when the brother was hitting that. She was gross. A lot of, a lot digitally. I don't know how that works. But God, I mean, I want to see his first wife. That's the second one. Yeah. The fuck. And so, but you're like, she got a boo and I hadn't gotten it there yet. And then when I got there, I was like, this fucking. Yeah. Yes. Fuck. So wait. Let's. Okay. And I don't want to tell too much. Can I tell you what Jeff Ross yelled at some point during the premiere? What? Jeff Ross was sitting right across me. I don't want to give it away. But there's a, there's a long moment with Erica where she goes on a diet tribe about really who I am and who she is. It's my favorite part of the fucking documentary. And at the end of that, it's, it is, it is. There is. Okay. It is so good. At the end of that moment in the quiet, the whole theater is holding the breath. And Jeff Ross goes, "Team Erica." I'm laughing at the worst moment of my life. I'm fucking laughing. There is. Can I tell you what it reminded me of? Sure. Have you ever heard the dice J more beef that they had on opiate? No. Very long time ago. No. You're not a true comic unless you've had a beef back in the day on ONA by the law. I think I still have one. You want to clear it up today? Should we do it? I thought we were friends. I think I think I'm cool. They have to be like, "Opi Slays." Oh, yeah. I don't know what I did to the guy. I was, anyway. So, so it's, it reminded me so much of it because J did like a dice impression on the show. Okay. On like, on like, on like, on like Conan or something. Oh, okay. And dice saw it and dice got fucking livid. Okay. And he calls up ONA and he's like, that fucking rat. He fucking doing dice on the fucking show. His cock sucker. I call my beat the fuck out of him. I know where he's staying. He's gonna do a dice impression. And they go. And Jim Norton goes, I think he gave you credit. And it dice goes, he did? He goes, yeah, he goes, "My bad." Oh, shit. And it's so funny. It's so dice. Yeah. But when that happens, it is like, it is, she is insane. She is insane. Let's, let's, let's, once again, and please stop me. Yeah. I start talking too much about it. But like, no, no, no, it's good. Go for it. Your, your, your mom, though, there's two kids on one side, two kids on the other side. Correct. Your mom is the mother to everyone. Yes. Your father, your father's not Russell's father. He got Russell, Darrell, Darrell, Darrell. Yeah. Russell Peters is also a brother in my family. And I know you're confusing Darrell. But your dad, but Darrell's dad wasn't around. Yeah, different dads. And, and it breaks my heart that he had the capacity to be a good brother. And he was a good brother to you. Yeah. He was a great brother for a very long time. Sure. I'm dying to hear your perspective of why he did what he did. So I have my, I have my ideas. Yeah. Should I go? Yeah. Okay. So remember, too, when I'm watching the documentary, a lot of it, I'm seeing for the first time as well, because I wasn't, it wasn't a puff piece where I was, I wasn't making the documentary. I did my interviews. They're showing you, they're giving you voicemails where you've never heard it before. Oh, yeah, giving you stuff and you're going, I've never seen this. Yeah. So interviews thing, you know, a lot of it, the first time I see it, I'm like, so I'm learning things about my brother. I'm learning things about what him and Erica are doing behind the scenes. And even more so, it's like rewriting my past of how far back and when did he change or what? This is what I, this is what I think. And I kind of interpretation is, the audience is going to, everybody has very different ideas of what Darrell's beef, you know, to take him to being, you know, an inmate. I think that there was, there was, I think there was a jealousy that my mom, think about this, ready? This is what I'm not considering growing up. My mom has left or potentially made his father go away, whether it's her fault in his eyes or his dad just abandons. Then he's in a new house with a father that clearly loves me with a mom that is being very precious with me, because I'm very sensitive. I'm anxiety riddled, so I'm getting a lot of attention and his dad's no longer in the picture. And now the new dad is not necessarily his best buddy, but he loves me. My dad never hurt me, never put me up against a wall, nothing like that. So I think the beginning of it was possibly something to do with there was a jealousy or an envy. I think even beyond jealousy, an envy and I think when he got with her, we'll talk about her later, there was probably like somebody who conditioned him to go, there's more for you in this situation. An edler. Yes. Yeah. Two peas in a pod. Why isn't it you? This started with your fucking mom. Yeah. When you, your mom, you might have, that's, I guarantee you, I mean, there's also, here's the thing that I think, but some people say something else about him and there's more to the story of like, you know, there's a lot of bad DNA in them, call the strand. Let's just say that. Really? There's a lot of investigation I did. And the Macauley men for the most part are very bad eggs. Yeah. Really? Very, very nefarious creatures in that family. That's your rise in your DNA. Dude, I'm telling you, man, you, you, it, you know, I don't want to get down with the weeds, but it's like, if I told you some of the things, you'd be like, holy shit. Yeah. Yeah. The other day I realized I needed a wallet, my dog Merle chewed my wallet, it was a compound, they, two of them worked on it, Mabel pulled it off the counter and Merle chewed it. That's what we think happened. So I go, I'm going to go grab a Ridge wallet. I didn't realize all the stuff Ridge has right now. I, they sent us this power bank that clicks right onto the back of your phone. I mean, my Ridge box, and I'm like, wow, then they sent me this tracker. Here we go. Obviously, I never realized how much I needed a power bank. I'm traveling nonstop. Ridge is five and one travel power bank has built in cables right here on the top, MagSafe wireless charging, boom, Apple Watch Charger don't have one of those, but if you have one, that's great. 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He had a cool uncle and a dad that was making a great wage and all of a sudden it was like front page news and he had to go to school and it was like when I think of it today, the only thing that gets me I'm not I have no anger. I've no but the thing that gets me emotional really is when I think about Cody and Courtney because he abandoned them in a sense and especially my little sister who's in it. It's like what did she ever do and she never heard from him ever again? She was like, yeah, I just was at Thanksgiving. That's all right. Yeah. No, no. Courtney was definitely like, I mean, it's a testament to Courtney strength because, you know, we both had to get up that day and go not only to my brother take all this shit, but it's like he left her at a time in her life. It's her story to tell, but dude, she was in she was in her roughest moment in life coming off of our parents and something else she was dealing with and then he threw that at her. You know, in my eyes, I was like, man, he's a piece of shit alone just for what he did with Courtney. But the thing that he did to me, I'm going to make sure that somewhere along the way in my life, this is before I did the doc, I was like, somewhere, I'm going to untie this knot. And when I do, he maybe forgot that I am the son, not of his dad, but I'm the son of George and I'm a fighter and I'm going to put a big win up with this someday. Someday I'm going to put a big fucking win up where he's going to sit and go, I should have known he would do that. And so I feel like I'm sitting here on the precipice of something really incredible, just by sharing it, by the way, I already feel that way, but to know that it's like sort of a reintroduction to where I'm at today is very exciting. It's got to feel cathartic. Yeah. This is my opinion. I think it takes a very special person to take a look at someone who's doing arenas to take a look at their paychecks and not it, not affect them that that's not their money. Like I think that is, you know, and I want to give a, I got to give a shout out to Frosty. Frosty is, if you don't know, Frosty is one of my favorite men in the world. He's, I love him. But I remember when you started blowing up where I was sitting with Frosty and he was like, do you know how much money Dan's going to make this month week? These arenas are fucked because no one did arenas. No one did arenas. Oh yeah. But there's very few people in the world that can, that can look at that. My agent, I think, I don't know if you're still at UTA, but my agent, I remember Nick news for I'll give him a shout out. I remember him telling me what I was making and there wasn't jealousy in his eyes. He was like, dude, you're going to make good money this weekend. It's really difficult to be in this business and watch people make big money and not think what about me. But imagine going to anybody, your agent, anybody who is sort of like part and parcel to like working with you and saying as I did so many times, what do you need? I took a little bonus. I bought myself a cool watch. What do you need? What do you want? Do you want, like, let's give you a raise, let's, I was constantly giving him like, you know, the access or, but his answer to most of it was never like, yeah, can we talk about maybe like, I'd love to do a world trip or can I take my son? It was always, no, I'm totally good. He was so, same outfit, same shirt, same shorts. He never came across as ever needing or wanting anything from me. And I was constantly asking him, what do you need? need or want. What would let's get something fun? Let's do. There was never anything that he responded to make me go, oh, wait, he, he feel slided. He never indicated ever. He felt slided by anything saying. So, but, but you didn't finish. So what, what do you boil it down to? What do you think? Do you think it was jealousy? Do you think he was entitled? Do you think he's, he's got a screw loose? I think he thought. I really think he thought. What about me? Dan's going to fire me soon. I need to stack cash for me. I know how much money he's making. I know he's going to be fine. That's what he's going to be fine. But that, but that you're saying that he's reacting to Dan's making changes. The forensics audit in the documentary goes back 12 years bird. Yeah. 12 years. That's before I broke. That's before anybody because that's when he started. And, and, and the forensics audit that took me back 12 years could only go 12 years. If I could have paid to go, let's investigate 50. If I can investigate 20, what's the first thing he took from me ever in 1993? But I could only go back easier to take. It's got to be easier to take when you don't have a lot. Meaning, he'll never miss a hundred and fifty bucks. Right. I'm going to go out to the movies. That's like early merch cash, right? Yeah. We made like $3,000 tonight. He'd be like, all right. I'll put it in the, in the, I had a Baybank, Arlington. I'll throw it in the Baybank. And he'd take that money and go, you know, do whatever. Was he putting in the back? I don't know. That's early. That's very early in my career. But I just wanted to point that out because some people go, yeah, maybe he started to feel like at the end, the end is when he got out. That's what I kept thinking. What about the 12 years earlier? Who's that guy? It's, yeah, it's got to be, it's got to be just deep seated. It's got to be deep seated. It's got to be deep seated from childhood to, oh, by the way, the story's not over. And we all, we all have to realize something. And I have to remind myself, he's, out there. Oh, if I ever get him to get drop off a FedEx at my house, I'm going to say, leave it at the fucking door. I've already, I already know how to do that. Thank you for Christchurch. Hey, wait. Are you Darrell or whatever? Are you Russell? Russell? No, it's brother. It's, it's, I tell people like this documentary in some ways is an entry point because not only is there more to the story, but I already have a few things that are, we're going to, we're branching out from this and I'm excited to where you're going to sort of see me in some different forms, so to speak. Why did you, why did you decide to make this a movie and not a series? Because I, it's so easily could have been a series. Yeah. I, it doesn't matter. I was going to watch it. I'm going to end like that's the weird part is like I'm was going to, I was not turning it off. Yeah. But like chopping it up in a series because there were so many tentacles and side stories to it. If I started down that avenue episodic, we all talked about me in the production. It's like, let's just keep it. Can, let's tell a story that is like a toe taper for like you could put a stopwatch and be like, you know, okay, boom, that happens. Boom. He achieves that boom. Next level, boom, higher. And then it was like, then I get knocked down. I've been approached to, to retell it as a scripted. So now we're working potentially on the next version of it, which will be a scripted series. Oh, yeah. So something else that sort of based in documentary and something else we're working on that's in the entrenched in more of a scripted situation. Betrayal is interesting because it's, first of all, fucks you up. It fucks you up. I'm dealing with that in therapy really bad. I don't trust anyone apparently. I don't trust anyone. And I, at times when I feel cornered with my wife, I feel like I told her this the other day. I was like, I feel like it's me against the world. And she was like, and I think that I'm learning that my punitive voice has benefited me and a lot of the times because I always feel like it's me against the world. I have always felt that way. But I've only felt that way because people made me feel that way and getting through that's so difficult. But now I'm unpacking all the reasons I did that. And without telling me, and I'm, I'm not trying to get you to overshare, have you identified the moment that sort of like indicated there was a change here and that's where it all started? Do you know that moment or do you think you know what happened? I think I know the moment. Got it. It sucked. It sucked. But I think I know the moment. Okay. But, but I think I think it goes back further than that. And I think I don't, you know, it must, it has to. But I, but I, and the thing, the thing I'm working on in therapy right now is I have a spidey sense, right, about when I'm not trusting anyone. Like I, I, I call bullshit on things real quick. I go, that's a fucking lie. Trust me. I know because I'm, what I'm trying to do is protect myself. Right. But then I go, like the thing, it's so funny, the, but I'll tell you about, I'll tell you my thing. I go to you. Can I scare you right now? Yeah. You're not going to like this, but I'm going to say it in the easiest way possible. You fucked my girlfriend too. We're going to cut to commercial and we'll be right back with more birthright shirting. No. There could very well be something or somebody deceptiving your life and you do know it. And there is a red flag, but you want so desperately to not admit or, or close that circle because it means opening that circle. Yes. That what you're doing is you're making yourself colorblind on purpose so that you don't see the red flag, but you know it's there. So you're sort of seeing it and everything. So be very careful, man, because that spidey sense might be telling you about one person or one situation that you know, you're going to have to figure that out. Oh, oh, oh, somebody please put that to music. Oh, oh, there's, I mean, this is like, you should, I really would enjoy one of my therapy sessions. Can I come? I just have my daughters. I don't know why you shouldn't come. I'd love to go, man. It's, but yeah, it's funny. By the way, that could be a new, that's, we might be onto something here. If I, if I just try, I was talking to my therapist and I was like, 'cause we were in, Leonardo and couples therapy, nothing's wrong. We just were in couples therapy because our kids went to college. We was asked alone for the first time. Yeah. And we're like, let's, let's get in front of everything and make sure we have the tools to deal with all this. Yeah. And it's great. I fucking love couples therapy with her and I love our therapist. And I was saying, if I was your therapy, if I'm getting into this shit that I'm dealing with, I should do like, I should do it as a podcast and then just hold on to it. And then like the most unhealthy thing that we could, we're, we're gamifying everything. But wait, I'm not going to let you get away because you were, you were just starting to, I interrupted you. You were starting to say in your therapy that something was sort of like an oh, oh, oh, moment. It's, I mean, it's, there's so much sunpack. There was, there was a moment where I can only tell you the real thing and then edit it out because it's people we know. But I got screwed over by someone and my dad took that person's side suddenly and was like, you don't understand, you know? And then I got, I got cheated on in college and that, that was the thing that really fucking broke me a little bit. And I just had a couple people betray me back to back to back. And I got to a place. I mean, the reason I'm, the reason I'm a rider die for Joe is because he witnessed, he saw this in me very clearly. I've talked about this before. But and he said, Hey, man, you know, you're not trusting anybody. Like we're trying to be your friend and you're not letting us be your friend. And my whole thing was, I'm good, man. I got a wife and kids. I'm good. I don't need friends. Right. Right. Right. And he was like, well, you do need friends and we're not going to fuck you over. And he was like, I think you're a great guy and I want to be your friend, but you gotta let me be your friend. And we did a shot of, of Jack Daniels and we had a Heineken together. And I was like, what was this? This was in. It's gotta be like 2000 to 1210, right when he was starting his podcast. And I was like, and I said, I'm going to trust, I'm going to trust a couple people, but they better not fuck me over. And by the way, I didn't let and then, you know, and then fucking, all right, drugged me. And then that. So like, there's, there's, it's so funny. I would bring this up to therapy. My wife just starts unpacking all the shit that's happened to me. And I'm like, wait, what's so down, so down. And so all this is like, all these trust issues. But I always say, when we go back to the first thing, which is my girlfriend cheating on me, there was a time when I was a very trustee person that I called her from Russia. And I said, Hey, what are you doing? And she was very distant on the phone with me. And I didn't realize she was with someone else. Now I do. But that red flag that popped up, I ignored it. Like you were saying. Yeah. And I'm dying to know what you're, I'm dying to know what red flags you have now that you sit with. And you go like, hum, about him about Darrell. Yeah. I mean, obviously her, her affiliation, the only thing I ever did was question him about her. I would say, Darrell, when we're doing business, just I have to ask you this, like, she's not, she's not involved, right? Because he's East Coast, I'm West. No, I go, and I said, and I quote one day, I go, not even a staple on a page, Darrell. Like this business is my business that you're helping me to know. So obviously now looking at her penmanship all over checks and everything else, she was clearly like the other head of the snake with him, figuring out how they were going to manipulate. So early red flags for me with Darrell, keeping in mind that he's different guy from different dad. So I could sort of look and be like, oh, he's, he's got his little, you know, idiosyncrasies that are very different from me. And the one that I noticed was, he was wouldn't get upset if I beat him in like an Nintendo game or something like where I be. He wouldn't get upset right there. Whereas like if you and I compete, I'm gonna fuck, man, shit, Bert. And you vent about, I think, "Ah, dude, good game, next time." And with him, there was none of that. And yet I could see sort of, what do they call that passive aggressive little things that indicated to me, "Oh, he's got a grudge with me." I don't know if that's 'cause I beat him in the thing or I put it in my early act. He was my manager at Burger King, the first job I had at 16. He was the manager. He was the Burger King. He, Darryl is the Burger King in that joke. Darryl hires me so that can start making some money. I go in, I'm hired and he makes the schedule. And I go up to the schedule and everybody on the schedule is in pen and I'm in pencil, which right away I know he thinks I'm gonna be, he's gonna get rid of me. And I went and I'm like, "Why am I in, I'm not in pen." It was the first thing I saw that was like, and he liked that. He was like, "Mm-hmm, maybe you'll be in pen if things work out." So it's like, he had those little grudges that he could hold. So those were the early red flags, but you're not gonna look at that and go, "Oh, theft or something like really evil is happening here." But those two things where I was like, "All right, he can be a little turned off when I start feeling like too comfortable in my confidence or something." Do you feel like there's something about you that draws people like him to you at all? - No, because I've never met anybody like my brother. And if there was anybody in my life that people tend to not wanna be around me 'cause I call people on their shit like that. I call team meetings with my crew or production company or I get to the bottom of things super fast. I was doing that even during Darryl. I could say to Darryl, "Hey, this guy over here, "little bit hinky, I'm calling in team meeting." And I'd have somebody bounced or 86 if like the numbers weren't adding up or whatever, everybody else, but Darryl. So when people say, "Did you lose your trust?" No, the moment Darryl was out of my life, Bert, if you'd called me like a month later and even though I was like shattered because of the betrayal of my brother, I trust you. - Yeah. - Once he was gone, it was like, for me and my therapy, I talked about this a lot. I felt like I went and I got a deep breath finally because what he was shrouding me and he was keeping anybody who was sort of moving towards me in a way that he saw there too honest, he would dilute them. So he was like roadblocking some genuine liaisons that could have happened. And that's the one thing that I know he did do is he sort of kept people at bay that I think could have come in and strongly said, we should audit your brother. Let's go to the bank. We should write, he wasn't letting those people anywhere near me, but my trust when he was gone got better. - Really? - 'Cause I have the spidey thing too, I must say. We're very similar. - Oh, I called the golden gut. My gut is gold. If I ever call you and go, I swear to God, only take right turns today, please listen to me. - Really? - Yeah, I've also had some moments, I don't know how much I want to get into this and maybe we've got it, but like, I've had some prophetic moments in my life. I've gotten deeper in my faith and in my spirituality and I've had moments throughout my life where I feel like I believe in God. And I believe that things have guided me and some of them are sort of like miraculous. So even with my brother, although Robby Hoffman said, your story's biblical, it's biblical. This is biblical and I'm like, it is biblical. And it was meant to happen to me because the things that happen from it are the best parts of my life, leading up to sitting here today. - Oh yeah, you wouldn't have the, you were your life. - If my life had continued even without my brother, but on the course of the person I was, I would not have had a great career and I don't know where I would have ended up married or not or whatever, my life improved greatly. Once I'm at Kelsey especially, it was like, that was the Holy Shit moment really. - Yeah. - But my life and what I thought it was going to be would have been unfulfilling compared to what I think the last 10 years is, which is the most fulfilling. - Yeah, yeah. - I feel like it's got to, I mean, I feel like I've been a part of every one of your projects. I mean, even your special that was shot at your house. - Yeah. - Everything seems so different. You've always had a thumb print on everything you did. It meaning it didn't look like anyone else's, it always looked like yours, only yours. Even Harmful Oswaldoid was like, everyone put out comedy albums, but yours seemed more, it was like, the cover was different, the vibe was different. It was a higher energy and it was just an album. I remember listening out of the Ralphs on Rockin' Roll Ralphs. - No, no, no, no, no, on the Braia. - Okay. - That was over by Santa Monica. I think they tore it down and made like a target or something. - Okay. - But I remember listening to it in the parking garage on top of the parking garage. - Oh, no shit. - Going like, god damn it. I got to put out an album. Then I put out, guys, you can get bird, bird, bird on. The fucking, the tracks on this album are so, you clear I was trying to get you, I was aware of grabbing your attention. The first ones, let's talk about Mexicans. And you're like, god, bird. So, but can I tell you my probably the most like, and I'm interested to hear you kind of expound ones. 'Cause you cover it in the dock, but I wanted to hear more of that day is your, is the walk to Bank America, Bank America. Corner of Crescent Heights in Fountain, running down to Santa Monica, that left corner, right across four seasons, Crescent, Fountain. - Yep. Is that, that's the building you came and played guitar with. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. I was like, that's your house. - Ran from there, you know, point zero to miles to the Bank of America, which was right on that turn. And I ran all the way down and when I got into the bank and my heart's racing, I feel sick. But you got to, you've, this is, you've already gotten the call that there's some problems. - No, I've only gotten the call from my new business manager that Darrell was supposed to send a file cabinet so they could just like go through everything and sort of do a proper, you know, audit of me. And once that didn't get sent for the second time when I'd asked, just put it on a FedEx. I don't care if it costs $1,000, you don't need to do anything. Put the file cabinet on there and they're going to compute it out. And when he that morning when I woke up and I rolled over and looked at my email and Rich Feldstein said, your brother did, we did not get the file cabinet, your brother wrote me this morning and said, he's a way on a family emergency. - Oh, family emergency. - That's when I sat up and I go, I think my brother stole all my money. I set it out loud and I got up, put on whatever it was close and I ran to that bank. - And then you get there and they're like, this is, so like I'm, everything, like they're a federal ID number, tax ID number and you don't have any of it. I'm, what's that, are you like, is it like the phone call like something's happened to dot, dot, dot, they're in the hospital, find out and you go, oh, everything's going to be fine. Are you still doing that? Are you really like, God damn it on the phone? - I'll tell you what I felt. - It's your stomach's gone. I'll tell you what I felt, which was wild. It's like everything that happened when my mom and dad, when they got sick, my mom told me she had cancer, when my dad then told me, everything previous in my life, the two hardest moments are my parents, right? And I remember the feeling in my heart and I remember what happened like the, the, you know, just the broken heartedness. That wasn't this. When I got into that bank, there's a word that I never knew the definition to, which I probably had used a bunch of times improperly. I was frantic. I was having nervous shakes, like you're cold. I don't know if you've forgotten. I'm shuddering in my fucking body, and I'm sitting across from her and the woman's, you'll see in the dock. She's running me through like, doesn't work, doesn't work. Nothing's, you're locked. I'm looking at your accounts, nothing works. And I'm like, I'm shaking in my body. And I'm realizing I'm having probably something like a mental breakdown. Because if this is true, how bad is it? And what does it mean for the rest of my life? I'm instantly thinking like, this is my everything. This is everything I have earned. Yeah. Is on this person's screen and she's not looking at me going, it's all good. My account's up. Hey, everything over here is, hey, what's up, millionaire? She's like this. She goes, oh, oh, all right, that, but that to, ooh, like, like, and then, and then I've got sweat. Like, I'd run down there, sweat going down my back. I remember, I can feel it right now. Like, sweat going down my back and my heart's still fluttering and I'm frantic and I'm losing it. And I'm holding her desk. I'm like, can you check that, can you check that? And then that's when in the doc, she, what happens next? Absolutely, I was written. She gets up, she leaves. And when I sat and I saw what I saw, I don't think this is in the doc. I was like, I was like, an audible, like, no, no, no. Like, I was fucking destroyed. Like, that was the moment where, oh, the door, Meadow was in the water, I believe it hit us, and there might be a hole, and that's the moment where it's like, "No, we're completely flooded. "Everybody below is dead, and we are sinking "in the middle of the ocean." Like, that was exactly how I felt. And then I ran home as fast as I could to start calling people to be like, we have to get him, we have to find my brother. Maybe he has everything, maybe it's in another account, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe it's in the pasta sauce. Maybe it's in the sauce, maybe it's in all the sauce. But this is, I'm gonna sound, I'm gonna sound like, I'm gonna sound like the next person. That's why I knew I'd have the best time with Bird, 'cause truly, I can laugh at these moments now, but even more so with a great friend. It is so insane. I mean, you gotta watch this movie. It's so fucking insane. It is so insane. It is, it is riveting. It is riveting. I'm gonna sound like the guy who's gonna be doing funny money, too, when I tell you what I'm about to tell you. Okay, because I don't know anything about my money. I know nothing about it. You're like, make sure, first you say, make sure no one else can sign your checks. I was like, "Dane, I haven't signed a check ever." The power of attorney is just you and your wife. Leanne does everything, Leanne does everything. All right. I told her, if anything happens, I will murder her. That's it, that's it. I'll go to jail and be like, well, I get meals here, I think I ain't working out. I think Netflix, and I, I, but nobody else has power of attorney. Nobody else can sign your checks. It's just Leanne. And she tracks everything in and out. Well, can I stop you real quick, dude? Yeah. This is why most people are not gonna hopefully endure what I did, 'cause in this day and age, as opposed to like an Excel sheet paper, but it's all in the bank and you have to physically go there. Now you can be, if the person you're working with, if there's somebody managing your money and they don't say, "Here, log in here." By the way, if you ever want to take a look. Yeah. That's the red flag when they go, "You can't have an app to the bank." "You and Leanne are not allowed to look." That's when you're gonna be like, "Okay, clearly we're in some trouble." So. Yes. But I, I will say this and I'm just just true. It's like I was, on my first arena tour, I was unaware of how much money I made. When I got, when I didn't even know, I didn't even, I don't see checks come in. I actually, I don't, and so this is, well, I'm just trying to make sense of this to the average person who's like, "How do you not know?" How do you use this? I never touched a check. I never got a settlement. I never got a close-out. Yeah, I had someone who did that for me then they would send it to my business manager. Liam would take a look at it. My agent would take a look at it. There's so many checks and balances in place. I never knew it. And when I did my first arena tour, I was sitting in the hot tub and I think my agent or my manager called me and they're like, "Congrats." And I was like, "Well, what?" And then I go, "You're in a poll star. You're the number two earning comic this year." And I was like, "What?" And then they told me, "I saw it. I saw how much money I made." And I'm sure it's gross. And I went, "Shut the fuck up." I was like, "Wait, I made that." And then the next year I made the same. And I went, "Wait, holy shit." And then at one point I said to my business manager, "How much money do I have?" And he told me, "And I was unaware." Now, how did I gotten stolen from? I think I would have said, "I don't know how much money I have. How much do money do they take? I wouldn't know how to account for anything." I was like that as well. Yeah, and that-- I didn't know either. So when you went to that bank, you're sitting there going, "I just want to see a good number." Yeah, I knew roughly what I was worth, but I didn't know the full amount. I mean, I knew from other people telling me, even my manager at the time was like, "You know, you have bought this much money." And I'm like, "Yeah, that's what I figured." But I didn't look because, I don't know about you, but I just had the love of the game, man. I loved it. I was like, "If I'm earning, I already knew sort of like, "Okay, at some point when I'm like 40, "I'm going to probably want to either stop or start production company "or sort of like dovetail, maybe I have a family. "I'll look then." Yeah. But at the time, I was like, I don't know. I would have done this no matter what. I loved this no matter what. I was doing this for the minimum amount or the grotesque overpaid amount. This is my life. I looked at checks exactly when they were 1300 versus 300. Yeah. 300,000. I never looked at it. It was like, this is what, and I actually said to the end one time, I can't be bothered about money because I think I'm going to lose the essence of what is what I love doing about it. Yeah. Yeah. And I said that what you were when I was broke, meaning like, I can't look at like, because you would be like, why are you fucking going out for $1,300? And I'd be like, when you only take, you only bring half of that home. It's a waste of your time. And I was like, I can't think about money. I can't think about money that way because it, it fucks up the art for me, the thing I love. And then when I started making money, I still was like, I don't want to be worried about it with money. But the only problem with what we're talking about right here is there's another tear to this conversation, which if you don't want me to like, we don't have to get like academia about it. But the reality is this. It's not just what's coming in and then what goes in the bank. There are numerous conversations that a certified accounting firm is negligible. If they don't come to you and say, hey, by the way, we were offered our prospectus, let's say you're with a fidelity or a mirror Lynch or Schwab. And there's like ten decisions that need to be made quarterly from me. Now that I know what I know in the last ten years, that like that they should be discussing with you because it's not as woolly nilly as Bert made a check and we throw it in the till. So I guess your wife must be doing due diligence even way above and beyond what we're crediting them for. And by the way, my wife as well because there's way more just that we could talk about what our tax franchise bills and per state in Canada and wherever else you're traveling. There's a lot of things that need to be moved constantly. Like I'm sure you have like somebody like a financial advisor outside of your accountant that sort of like has you, you know, fortified in different partitions, right? Yeah. Okay. I have a business manager and then they, I mean, they do it all. You sort of just say, make sure that I'm in the right stocks and I'm in the right. I don't know. But we have someone who does our stocks and we have a couple different people. And then, yeah. And Leanne deals with all of that. Then I'm going to say Leanne is a rock star because I now know in my wife and I do it together and we've done it this way for a number of years like we've got, I've got my advisor, I've got a financial institution, I've got a third party that keeps an eye on both of them. And there's not a month that goes by that there isn't like a high dollar amount question in terms of where something she'd either be protected or an IRA that needs to be updated or an insurer, it's, there's a constant motion financially that let's just say it right now. Like Leanne is keeping you, you know, really a float. She loves it. She grew up poor. So she loves that. I didn't grow up poor, but I didn't grow rich. I know. Actually, I'm going to phrase that. I think I did grow up rich, but no one of my family had money like I had friends that were rich. So I felt rich. I felt rich my whole life. I've never felt poor. Even though my dad would say absolutely we were poor at a period of time. Yeah. I mean, we had a house that had no furniture in it, but it was a nice house on the outside. I was like, what? It was a fuck. He's like De Niro from the, well, he got fucked up by a client and they never paid. Oh, shit. Okay. And it was a big client. And so, and so like I was trying to write a joke about this the other day because I was like, I definitely grew up feeling rich because I had rich friends like I wasn't, I wasn't rich. I wasn't rich, but I felt rich my whole life. So the anger up poor, she ran her dad's books since she was a kid. Oh, okay. And so the second, I mean, like I would look at things like I remember getting a check for like 25 grand one time doing a corporate, yeah, through it on the table like a fucking gangster. I was like, take a look at that. Yeah. She goes, well, you got to remember we just keep half. And I was like, what the fuck's wrong with you? Right. But that's the way she has never looked at money. Yeah. She always looks, everything's always negative. Oh, well, you know, hold on, you got to still pay taxes. Let me, let me quickly to button up. Why didn't I look? I'll tell you because the way I grew up was there always seems to be an angst that came , came along with money, whether it was a good moment or and we had a lot of bad. My, my mom had to keep the roof over her head. My dad was not helping at the time. And it was, and so there was a lot of strife and anxiety. My mom was, had anxiety and phobias. I had anxiety. So we were fine as long as we didn't look at the money. And that's probably what started me off. I think that's, I think that's a little bit how I, as long as I don't look at the money, there's no pressure of like, what do I do with it? Or it's like, as long as I know it's over there in there and Darrell's keeping an eye on it, I can just be funny and do what I do. So there was a little, there was a little fear at knowing what the amount was. And by the way, full disclosure like, I'm like that to this day. I still say to my wife like, all right, I log into like one of the, I can log into a portal. I go, all right, I'm going to go in and, you know, check some boxes and stuff. And as I'm walking, I still get that little thing of like, I get to deal with money stuff today. I still get it. And I do it and it's fine. But it's like, I just never wanted to, and jokingly, the other day I said to Kelsey, I threw down some, some check stubs that I had from, you know, sometimes you do a gig and they just hand you the check instead of like, and I threw it down and I go, okay. Yeah, we got to deal with these and I throw it down and I still the joke and I go, "Thanks, Darryl." It's like, "I don't want to do any of this, you fucker. I don't want to do any of this. I just wanted to make shit and be funny and entertain people and I really want to grow up and have to take care of all this." What I looked at is like, you know, hui of the financials. That's the part I never wanted to deal with the growing up part. Yeah. Like, I love the not growing up, you know, she, like, but Leanne keeps me in the dark. Like, I don't know how much my therapist costs. Like, she won't tell me because you guys, if you find out, you start going, "Leanne's the best." She doesn't tell me how much my trainer costs. Like, when I was like at my fattest, she got me a trainer and she was like, "I was like, how much is it?" And she goes, "You don't need to know. Just know that you're fat and this guy's going to help." And I'm like, "Okay." You look great, by the way. Thank you very much. We didn't say that when I walked in. You look fantastic. I saw you at that part of you. Oh, thanks, man. Yeah. I've been tracking your journey. Dude, body by Kelsey. In my wife, the whole thing. Everything's Kelsey. I just follow her lead. Whatever she tells me to eat, she counts calories. She's a certified Pilates instructor. She puts me on the reformer. Like, all I do, she goes, "Do you want to be ready for this document?" She goes, "In the documentary, she's like, you look a certain way." That's her nice way of saying, like, "You don't look your best." And to be honest with you, when I knew I was going to make the doc, I ate more because I thought, if I get in shape for the documentary, like, nobody wants to see a sad fit guy. So I ate more. I was like, "Oh, let me really prepare for this fucking slog." Yeah. Nobody wants to see a crest fall in dude with cobblestone, street down as fucking. I'm taking my shirt off between seat. Let's look at some more checks. So I'm 60 pounds lighter today, a year later because of what Kelsey sort of put me through the discipline of what we've been doing. You look great. Shout out to our wives who keep us in the dark. I've only been a fucking, fucking sad skinny guy. I feel like, because I quit drinking and then I started and then I kind of couldn't get into it the way I did and I missed it and then all this, I had about two health problems and then all of it showed up on my plate one day. And then I've been in therapy and I'm like, and then I was like, "I was happy when I was fat." And then I saw a video of when I was fat. I was like, "I look really sad." I was like, holy shit. You got your sparkle back, man. I really, I see it. That's all I've been looking for. Yeah. I'm really happy right now. My anxiety's leveled off and I'm about to go about on the road. I go on the road Wednesday. All right. And so I'm ready to tour. I've got some things I'm working on. I feel really good. Oh good, man. Still working a lot of shit in therapy. Well, if I can help in any way as a friend, man, sometimes it's nice just to call somebody and be like, "Dude, let me, you know, I've been through every version of the business and now every version really of what I think makes me a compassionate friend personally." So, and not just here. It's like, dude, hit me up. Like, yeah. If you don't want to get a perspective, that's like outside of the norm, then I'll shoot you straight. I would love that. Yeah. Let's, we're at an hour and a half. I want to, we are? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know we're fully shit. Holy shit. Okay, yeah. Like I said, I don't want to give away too much of this doc because it's worth watching. Yeah. I want to just give enough teas, but like, I'll tell you the thing that I was fascinated with. So do we, we have an idea of how much he stole. I mean, there's an exact number that's in the doc pit. Everyone always passed around. It was always $12 million. That's what everyone always said. But we don't know really. And that's what I kind of pulled from this is I was like, I know what you would have earned on that first arena tour you did, right? And I know what your movie deals were. And I know what your second arena tour got you. It's way beyond the 12. Yeah. Yeah. And there were other people involved in and around my brother that I think in his negligence stole from him. Oh, I bet. He seemed, I don't need to apologize to this. He seems like one of the dumbest human beings alive. Like really dumb. Like, like, I mean, his face looks dumb when you see it. And maybe it's the haircut has an age well, but like he just looks stupid. He and and the fact that they're like, you know, they're investing in a restaurant in South Florida. And I'm like, what, what does he know about restaurant? Like he needed, he really needed a dad. He told me he's bringing in that he really didn't need a dad. That's honestly, that's no true statement in this podcast. But he told me I'm bringing in their names of people I won't say here, but I'm bringing in to make sure I'm doing this properly. But I'm key. I'm the eagle-eyed guy, keeping an eye on what they're doing. And of course, either some of them didn't exist or some of them were alleviated from their being pulled into the trial because we just, you know, we were like, we can't fight all these fights. So some people got away with way more than what we know in the documentary. Do we have an estimation in like, over 20, it's easily over 20, for sure. Yeah. 20, and I think I know certain like, like I said, there'll be a part two in a sense of funny money, not necessarily a doc, but like, I'm going to, I'm going to do an update. There's going to be a lot of stuff that's going to come to light after of like where I think certain thing. And I'm learning new information even now. I'm learning new information. And even my brother and I have had a correspondence through attorneys since the ending what you see in the doc. So yeah, there's more to come here, man. And they recovered, which is the craziest thing in actual cash. Like how much did they recover? Like 1.3 million or 1.5, I think, is that what they recovered? I think so. And cash and cash and like the vacuum bag and Florida, yeah, we never got the sauce in the sauce in the wall. Yeah. And then we never got. He didn't make one good investment. Nothing that he invested in, like we recouped on like cars and houses and there wasn't, he, he didn't do one thing right that I go, oh, guess what? He bought a chain of a fast food restaurant that went sky high, like it was all just pennies versus what he put into whatever he bought. I mean, his, his, his fucking condo looked like shit. I mean, it took to steal the walls, coward yellow. Did you notice that the fucking, I was like, you're living in squalor. Yeah. You want to steal, step up your game. I mean, my, my, my heart breaking moment is they're like, we recovered like $5,000 in costume jewelry. It's because I like fine things. I mean, I don't, I'm not like big on public shame, but if I saw her at an ice cream shop, which is probably where I'd run into her, yeah, fucking light her up and point and laugh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can you make, I would slow roll it in so that she didn't get it. I'd be like, hey, what's your recipe for your pasta sauce? Huh? What are you putting your pasta sauce on? That's good. She's good. I mean, she's, I think despicable. I think that, you know, yeah, I'm sure the internet audience is going to have an interesting through line conversation if, if there's a way to, I don't know where they are. I don't, I don't look at any of that. So if they're online or whatever, then I'm sure the internet sleuth, especially true climbers love this doc and that whole avenue is new to me, but they're into it, man, they are really, they have, they have accepted me as like one of theirs now. And so that's kind of a new, interesting lane is, you know, because I love true crime. It's what I grew up watching. Oh, yeah. You know, I wanted my own and I fucking got it. I was like, wouldn't it be cool to have a true crime storing your family and I'm like, I normally side with the villain on true crime. I don't know why. Yeah. I have a bad track record. I can't watch it with my daughters anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand. I know the pastor seems like a good guy. Yeah, I know. Maybe nobody ever asked him what's wrong with him. They didn't. They didn't. They never interviewed the guy. You can't do a documentary. Not interview the guy. My daughter's like, shut the fuck up dad. Right. Interview the guy that hurt the guy. Yeah. It's like, who hurt him is I do the same thing. You've never, we're watching the one where they cut the baby out of the woman. Have you seen that one? No. Oh, my God. It's just a woman who tells everyone she's pregnant is lying. She's had a hysterectomy. She can't have a baby. So then she makes friends with the lady, kills her and cuts her baby out and says it's hers. And my daughter's like, oh, my God. And I go, you guys have never been in that position before? I'm like, what? And I go, you never like wanted you like, well, you like, you've never been not studied for a test. You're like, I hope there's an earthquake or a tsunami or a by-by-bomb. Like you've never felt that way. This is how fucking psycho. I am 9/11. I thought I swear to God, edit this out if you need to. Oh, we'll be editing this out, but you just compared a late test to cutting a baby out of a woman. I remember. I've never, I've never put something late in and said this, I'm sorry, I'm late. This felt like I was cutting a baby out of a woman. I'm murdering. On 9/11, when I heard about 9/11, I was like, I bet there's one dude who's like, I guess when I'm taking that test. Because that's what I would have been. I would have been like, I didn't study last night. This is going to be fucking, this is going to work out good. And this is right. We're a TV. We're stand-up comedians. Yeah. That's the badge of honor. Because we see everything from that, luckily from a hilarious vantage point, which God bless it. Well, it's the, I think the funniest comedians are the ones that are really a little bit broken. Yeah. You know, anxieties. We both have that. But I think the little nuances that happen to you as a child that create the thing that You see the world just a little more. off. Yeah, where everyone else sees it one way. I've always like, I had to start putting my takes into chat GPT to make sure that they're okay because I'm like, I always seem to have the wrong opinion of the internet. But, um, did you see Stallone? He just did a great podcast with, uh, it might have been the New York Times. Keep going. I'm not sure. But, but the interview was amazing because he was put into, uh, basically in a sane asylum for a certain part of his life. And he said, when he got out of there, you know, he, he's like, everything terrible you could have experienced. I, it's in his memoir. He just released a memoir and he goes through the whole chapter and basically at the end of that conversation during the podcast interview that she says, what, what did you get from that? I'm paraphrasing. But he's like, when I got to New York City, I suddenly realized everything that happened to me in there prepared me for anything that was going to come up against me in New York. So it was almost like he looked at it like I'm now battle ready. He didn't look at it as like something was taken away from me. His mentality was something actually is, has enhanced me at this moment. I really love him. I heard, I saw that he talked about steroids. Yeah. Yeah. In the same interview. Yeah. I saw that. I'm going to, I get to finish it today. Did you talk about spreading the rumor that Richard Gehr put his gerbil up as that? No. That's him. That's what, so I didn't get to that part. Listen, you know, I love Sly. I've heard him interview. There's a new podcast out about it called gerbil. Okay. And it's, I fought, I am so obsessed with the idea that in a period when we didn't have the internet of a rumor like that, I've been obsessed with this. Almost I think about it once a month for every pre-internet. That was a rumor that just got around the world like boots on the ground. People saying, did you hear about this thing with the gerbil? With Richard Gehr. Yeah. Can I tell you what breaks my heart more than anything as he had children? Yeah. When you've children and you'll find out one day, they're in kindergarten and every parent has one week where they have to take the gerbil home from the class to their house. That's right. But there was one period when they were like, did it's not going home with the Gears? And he had to tell us, his kid had to be like, Dad, how can we not get the gerbil? And he's like, buddy, there's, you know, this is crazy rumor that Sylvester Stallone spread. But they say Sly says he didn't start it. But it was, you got to listen to the podcast. Okay. I will finish it today. It's, it's so fucking amazing. But it's before the internet. Yeah. It's before anything. It's but yeah. Okay. Here's my real question. So we're possibly getting a, by the way, I'm leaving out all the good shit in this talk. We've skipped a lot in a good way, though. And a good way. Yeah. I don't want to tell, I don't want you to hear this and go, I think I watched it because that's, oh, no, no, no, people in two hours long and it's so fucking, it may be a little longer than two hours, but it's so fucking good that I sat on a treadmill for two hours. And just I was jogging at the beginning. I go, I'm going to fucking open a bottle of water. This is so fucking great. But it's a different funny money. It's 2006. Oh, that's it. Oh, is that the, wait, it said 2006? That's it. That's us. Oh, I need fucking better glasses. Um, so there's a possible scripted series for this. Who would you like to play your, your Angela and Angela, which, Eric and Russell? Yeah. Who do you want to play Erica and Russell? Oh, who could play Erica? That would have to be like, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Can I give a pitch? Yeah, please. Bobby Kelly. As Erica? Yes, you dress him up. He would be, he would crush it. He would crush it. You dress him up, you'd have to gain a little weight to play early Erica. But look, look at the face, right? You put a wig on there. That's fat Bobby. That's not skinny. That must have been like 10 years ago, right? No, don't get a sexy, sexy threesome Bobby yet. And that's not, that guy is not real anymore. Go to the back coat. Yeah. Go to fat Bobby where he's got his shirt open. I love Bobby Kelly as Erica. That's him. Wow. That Bobby Kelly plays Erica. That is a look. That's early Erica though. That's early Erica. Yeah. Bobby have to gain some weight back, like they need to lose it all to play that's a really current Erica. We'll see, man, we'll be get to casting. That would be stunt casting. It would be so, but see if Bobby Kelly's dressed up as a woman. I'm sure he has. Oh, just AI. Yeah. Bobby Kelly dressed as dressed as a woman. I guarantee he's done this. There's no way Bobby Kelly hasn't dressed as a woman. There's skinny Bobby Kelly. No, scroll. That's not Bobby Kelly. Wait, wait, hold on. That's just a woman. That's a woman who looks like Bobby Kelly. Type in Bobby Kelly. Gaysha. Wait, does he go by Bobby though? There you go. Top left. Top left. That's Bobby Kelly as a woman. He could play Erica. He really good. He could with the right outfit. And it's a very specific wig, like a Saturday night live costume person could make that wig hair and makeup. Yes. And he would, he would be so good at her accent. I can tell you. I guess I'm wrong. Oh, by the way, I know somebody who wanted me to reach out about casting you in something, so I'll give you the information after. Please. Yeah. It's in horror too. Oh, being a lane that I'd love to see you in. Can I tell you your great actor, man? When I came and saw your movie at the premiere of that night for the machine, it was great. Oh, thank you. Yeah, man. Thank you very much. I just got horror. So I've never liked horror. I've never liked horror. Okay. I've never I never understood why people like horror when you have comedy, why wouldn't you just go to comedy? Yeah. Why would you do go? I didn't make no sense to me. I watched, I watched not inclusion. What's the one? Oh my god. That's it. You're right. You good. That's exactly it. That's the casting. That's perfect. Do you realize how fucking great this movie would be? It would be like when Louis Anderson was in baskets for Gallifinacus. That would be so great. And you do a bunch of kids. Gallifinacus should play my brother. He's so easy to hate. He's so you just want to not like that guy. Zach Gallifinacus says you're as my brother shave everything. Yes. And oh my god. Yep. Yes. And then yes. He's got those teeth that sort of look British. He looks British in this. He definitely looks like he's in newsies. He's the only one that still delivers the paper all these years later. The last newsie. How did he get big thick eyebrows? My eyebrows are going away. I never got whore. And then I watched a Cormac McCarthy. What's the big one that was a big big smash hit this summer obsession obsession. I watched that's what I want to talk to you about that team. Yeah. I just did something with them and and we'll talk about it. That team I think is looking for you. And then I watched Widow's Bay. Have you seen Widow's Bay? I have watched it now. Can I tell you we're fucking up with trying to make our Instagrams funny. We should just make them scary. Why do you think I'm doing funny money? Yeah. I mean, I'm just like, what is over here? I'm like, I got to go over here. Dude, I'm like, what the fuck? I'm sitting here trying to make fucking thing of a joke every goddamn day. And then I go, oh, all you need to do is just one video of like, hey, everyone, I'm just sitting in my house and then you come back and then you find something like a Bobby Lee dress as a woman standing in the corner. Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah, that's it. Dude, scary is jump scares are in online. People love that shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we have your movie cast. Yep. Um, your specials coming, you have a special don't have a home for it yet. Have you filmed it? Haven't filmed it yet. I want to do something again, a little bit different. I mean, it's definitely a standard stand-up special, but I do want to sort of film it in a different way. So I'm looking for a great partner on that after this. That's the thing is like, I feel like with so many specials out and it's like, I don't look. I don't want to reinvent the wheel, but I just want to make it. I don't know. Well, I wanted to do something to that. Above it all felt like, I wanted to do something that felt like a one-man show that was still stand-up, but was also to be very honest with you. I was like, I don't know how much longer we're going to Marty Colliner around and God rest his soul because you know, Marty's no longer here, but I wanted to work with him one more time. So as Marty, one-man show, Front Porch, the next special that I want to do is I feel like it's in the never been done before business and I feel like it's something that could sort of rival vicious circle. So it's in that it's bigger. It's a big shoes. It's big shoes, man, but you know, it's like, I love to take a big swing. So we'll see. If I get the proper partner, then we'll do something bigger. If not, then probably just do a great theater. Yeah, I keep thinking, I was like, I was like, I, you know, I've done, I tried to even switch up Leanne things. I should do my next special in a suit. I did stand up in a suit for the first time the other day. Yeah, it's really crazy. You can't tell certain jokes in a suit. It doesn't feel the same. It feels really weird. I was like, I had a great, kind of racial joke. In a suit, it just seems like you're one percent or like, how dare they? And so I was like, oh, it comes out different in a suit and someone in the audience is like, oh, yeah, try to try to shirtless, murdered. Guy shirtless doesn't read much. You didn't know what he's talking about. Have you ever thought of doing Broadway? No, like not even remotely. Your audience would probably love to see you on Broadway. It's me in a suit. Well, I think you look fantastic. And I feel like, you know, this is just one person's opinion, but I feel like you cornered the market on that aesthetic and you nailed it. It'd be nice to see you starting to do some stuff that feels dare, I say daring, you know, because you're having handsome dude, you look great, you look great there. And dude, if you did something on Broadway, honestly, like, and I don't know what your way in would be, but let's just say for the sake of this, you're like, I'm gonna walk everybody through what it was like to go through the early Rolling Stone article, then what I was for that 10 years in between, and then finally, like, what made me realize I was gonna be able to elevate. And it's sort of like, that's a one-man show, 'cause then you get all the scary in-between's and you're a great storyteller. - Yeah, you know, as I'm sitting here talking, I've been thinking about my next special, 'cause I have to shoot it coming up soon. - Are you under contract, you have to shoot? Okay, got it, so you have to have it done by a certain-- - I have to have it done. - Am I allowed to ask where is your deal? Okay. - And I gotta shoot it, 2027. I have a couple of things I'm doing a little different in the winter than, 'cause I don't know, I mean, we're getting in the weeds here, but like, but as soon as I've been thinking about my material and how I want my special to go, and as soon as you were like, I don't know, it would be interesting to hear about you in Rolling Stone, I was like, I've never talked about that. And then you're like, been in your next 10 years? Like, I've never talked about that deal. - Yeah. - And then I'm like, why am I struggling to write a pussy joke when I'm like, I guess there's a lot of stuff I haven't talked about. - Yeah, also the difference of a fan of yours, let's just say, for the sake of it, like 10 years ago, who maybe had a kid who was 10, versus now they want to knight out with their 20 year old. And now you're sort of like starting, you don't have to jump in. You're not a soap opera on season four. - I have kids at the same time. - You start, you're starting a new season now, and your fans can come. - Add it all this out, please. It just shows how stupid I am. Let me tell you the joke I wrote today, Dan. - Yeah. - And you're telling me this. I'm like, never thought about any of this. (laughing) - What the fuck? (beeping) (beeping) - He's like watching them jerk off in their pants. Oh. - I would definitely delete that. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on, wait, it's not that, it's, hang on. Watch, oh. Watching someone vape is like watching someone jerk off in their pants. You ever seen someone vape and they go, (inhaling) and you're like, you're not hiding it from anybody. We know what you're doing. And they're just like, what? (inhaling) I was like, it's like someone just going like this. I go, I know you're jerking off. That was the joke I wrote today. I don't know why I need it. - Edit it out, please. Or just add in a laugh track. (laughing) Just cut, can you cut to that immediately? Edit the awkward part out. By the way, all I'm doing, all I do is, all I do is write, I'm writing, how often are you writing? Are you writing the way you did when you were younger? Do you feel like it? Do you sit down to write or do you, it's all on stage? - It's all on stage. - Yeah. - Are you bringing ideas on stage? Are you like going, you're like, oh, this is something, we'll figure it out on stage. - I'll take one 20 minute piece in for a whole year. I'll just do that 20 and I'll rip it apart and put it back together. If it's a lazy crowd in front of a few people at one club, I'll rip apart the seams and I'll try to find better segues. If it's a great night at the improv or the comedy, I'll kill with it and then see like, in the kill, what can I add to it? Like, where can I take it a little further? It's just the repetition of that 20 minute set, that 20 minute, but I know what the through line is of my new, I know what my next special is gonna be based on what I'm doing in those sets. - It's hard to, it's kind of hard, in my opinion, to work out in Hollywood versus workout on the road. For me, because I think I make a very specific dish and it's like with the average comic, and I mean, like the average like 33 year old comic, he's just making sliders, right? And he's like, he's like, he go sliders, I got fish chips, I got hot dogs, I got fries. Hey, man, you ever go out and apply and date? Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Hey, what's up with the traffic? You know, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, yeah. And then when I come in, I feel like I'm making like a fucking Manacotti and everyone's like, I'm not in the mood for Italian food. I'm like, don't you wanna talk about your dad getting old? And they're like, my dad's not old, I go, mine is. - So you're better on the road working it out, why not? - I work out on the roads, so much easier. I work out in Hollywood. This is the thing I'll say out loud. If you're an older comic like myself and you have a fan base where you can end up in an echo chamber every weekend, you have to be working in L.A. to find out if strangers find it funny. Because that's what happens is you work out in one club with your fans, your fan base. And they will always love whatever you do. And the back story, so like I have a joke about Leanne and I'm probably not gonna put it in the specials, so I'll tell you, Leanne and I took IQ tests together and it didn't turn out the way we thought. She turns out she's fucking a feeble mind and moron. And I'm brilliant. - And you're meant to? - Yeah, I meant to. And it was funny because my fan base knows that Leanne's smarter than me. - Right. - So there's a joke and I go, I felt like I was taking advantage of a special needs girl. And I wonder if she fucked me. I gave her a balloon and some cotton candy. I was like, I'm gonna play with your titties, you know? And everyone's like, do that, do a, listen to that. Shut the fuck up. So but do that at the store and there are women going, what the fuck? - Yeah. - Wait, your wife is stupid and you're like, oh no, but you don't know me. - Yeah. - You should know me better. But how do you not know me? Like, and so that's what happens. You've got to learn how to write that exact joke for the person that doesn't know you. That's how you get more fans. - Right. - You're forming in an echo chamber. I'm telling you, as if you don't know. But I mean, that's why you work in Hollywood as much as you do. - Yeah, my whole thing is like usually weekday nights and I've already signaled to my fans. Like, I'm, I'm punching at things, you know? So if you're coming out, it's, it is what it is. So they sort of know they can come in relaxed. And then weekends, I wanna give people a great show. So it's gonna be like 80% of everything you know. But I'll still, I'll still play. - Yeah. - 'Cause I think we've learned at this point, like you make you funny. It's not just the words. It's you enjoying it. You putting in the physical, whatever it is. So I can sort of go like, oh, I can dial this up tonight. Even though I know I'm doing the A stuff, I can kind of punch through on a couple of new things because they're into it. They like what I'm doing. So either whether it's a weekday night, weekend night, or even if I'm on the road, I've baked into a little part of my echo. I'm like, I can run a couple of things here because I'll basically segue into by going, like, you know, there's a couple of things that I don't even know what they are. I just, can I get a couple of things off my chest and they sort of know, oh, this is Lucy Goosey. So if it kills, great. If it doesn't, it's kind of funny. He was just sharing some things on his. I'll be like, a couple of notes from my notes app. Let me, so you cover yourself either way. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Dude, this has been great. - Congratulations. - I love you, bud. - Thank you, I appreciate you having me on here again. I appreciate you being my friend as long as you have been. It's really, it means a lot to me. It really does, and I hope if you've learned anything from this podcast, I've used you as a massive inspiration my entire career, watched the way you did things, watched how you did things. I've studied you, like, you're the man, and I'm so happy for this movie. I'm so happy. - Thank you. - It's fucking incredible. It is, it is really true crime, it's a true crime comedy. - Yeah. Well, dude, I feel the same way about you, man, and you've been a real, an inspiration to me, and even though all the way back in the day sitting at that hojo's, we had no clue the way everything went unfold. I'm proud of your family, you know? It's really nice to be able to sit here and have a winning moment together and not feel like there's something. I mean, I'm still gonna come to your therapy and we're gonna talk about the baby coming out of the woman that you described. - When we do, when we do. (laughing) - Funny money part two. Bird Chrysher, we're gonna get you in there somehow. Bobby Kelly and Zach Galafanakis. - Bobby Kelly would be so great. Is that what would be the ultimate thing? - I don't think there's anybody else that could be a part of that at this point. - When does it come out streamers? - Streamer, November 6th. - Nice. - On your favorite streamer that I'm sure you have a subscription to, it'll be out November 6th. And in the meantime, soft launch, you can watch it, like, just looking up online. - You'll find it. - You'll find it. Funny money, dang cook. I love you, brother. I love you, bud. - Thanks, Chrysher. - Thanks, man. - Oh, it was fun. (dramatic music) This episode was brought to you by The Machine.