# 728 - Paul Walter Hauser Is A Triple Threat - Actor, Podcaster & Wrestler

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It's called Dream Seed, and I cannot wait to fall asleep to it, and I can't wait for you to fall asleep to it. Now, I'm sure you're thinking, Burt, your voice is not so soothing. How am I supposed to fall asleep to you giggling and laughing? Well, you're not going to. Someone else narrates it, but I love it, and it's everything. I love history mixed with crazy dreams, no ad breaks in the middle of a story, facts that might be a little inaccurate, but it all feels great because it's in your dreams. So if you love falling asleep to historical stories and then finding yourself in the middle of the action while you're lulled to sleep by not my voice, then you're going to love Dream Seed. Check it out on YouTube or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Dream Seed. Good night. Dude, you look really good. Oh, thank you. Well, thank you. I lost. I lost 50 pounds. You look good, by the way. I'm trying. Some days are better than others. Are you wrestling soon? I wrestled two nights ago in South Carolina. Yeah, I watched the promo for that. That was fun. That was really great. Yeah, I was trying to coax all my celeb buddies to have a little fun with me. And yeah, it's cooler to do it, too, when it's like a smaller match. Like, there'll only be like 300, 400 people there. Yeah. But. The bigger companies don't need the promotion. The little ones do. That's cooler. So, yeah, we're trying to blow that thing up. It's funny. We were just talking about this walking up here, but my love of wrestling has gotten really out of control. And I don't know what it is. And I watch documentaries. I watched a documentary on Rowdy Rowdy Piper. It was like the first one. Oh, yeah. And I didn't realize how similar, like, my life is to all those guys. Meaning, you live on the road. You're just a road comic, you know? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's such a fascinating correlation. And even, I met Rowdy Rowdy Piper. Yeah, he did stand-up for a while. Yeah, he did stand-up. Man, it was one of the craziest. I saw him at the store. We were at the improv one night. I think, I forget who was putting it together. Steve Simone was putting it together. And he was like, it's like a storytelling. And I was like, yeah, that's what I do. I'm a storyteller. And they're like, do you want to run your story by me? I go, no, there's no way that anyone's going to have a story close to mine. It's never happened in my career. My stories are so outrageous. Yeah. And he goes, what story are you going to tell? And I was like, I got a story about fighting a bear. Rowdy Rowdy Piper went up and told, I swear to God, the best story about fighting a bear right before me. And I was like, what? And his story was so much better. And dare I say, even more believable and relatable because he's Rowdy Rowdy Piper. Sure. But it's so funny. Yeah. And I've been going in a deep dive. It's all I listen to is documentaries on wrestlers. I did listen to Greg the Hammer Valentine Hart. It's very, very entertaining. And it's such a, if you're anything like me, I just get really tickled by specificity. Yeah. And it's such a specific world that they work in. It's like both entertainment and carnival. It's literally some machination of like the people that show up with the half-broken teacups in the big lots parking lot. And it's Hollywood. It's like both. Yeah. It's kind of like classy and trashy coming together and both having to kill themselves and live a charmed life. It's really weird. When was your height of professional wrestling? Like when you were really into it? Like watching it? Yeah. So I was born in 86. Wow. Are we like eight years apart or something? I'm born in 72. 72? Yeah. Good job. So yeah. You look younger. Or I look older, you son of a bitch. No, no. It's funny. So I got, I got Wahoo McDaniels and Dusty and all those guys locally. I saw a lot of them locally. Thunderbolt Patterson. I was at the very, I was alive when and witnessing wrestling when everyone started going to WWE. Okay. The territory. The territory guys migrated up north for Vince McMahon senior at the time. And then it became Vince McMahon Jr. show. Yeah. And I, and so I, but I, I saw a lot of the local, like what I remember junkyard dog moving. Like I've watched a documentary on junkyard dog the other day. And I was, I remember witnessing his move to WWF at the time. And so, but I saw a lot of those guys, guys locally. Like I saw Dusty Rhodes wrestle at the Tampa Armory. So I, my height year. My height year was like 1982, I'd say. Okay. Mine was probably my height year, meaning defined by like when you were most invested. When I was so invested. Now, by you, by you, we used to watch local wrestling was on, on Saturday nights in Tampa, the Tampa, the, that I think it was AWA or whatever. I forget what it was. Yeah. And that was on Saturday nights. And that's where I knew. All those guys from was that. And then when I was turned 10, everyone started transitioning over to WWF, but you still had Texas was still around. I was a huge fan of the Von Eriks. Yeah. I mean, they were, they were clearly red hot in, in Texas and the South and, and, and when WWF at the time, at one point it was like WWWF or something, but back, back in the world. I mean, I was a huge fan of them. I was a huge fan of them. Yeah. I was a big fan of them. their own roster of talent but at the time you could still be really popular and over in other regions and other markets because like wwe didn't go to every time they still don't go to every town you don't see like money in the bank ladder match at two in tupelo mississippi yeah like there are some underserved markets where you can have like your really popular guys who can still sell out 500 to 2500 seats so when you're doing south carolina what's the attendance in those in those markets it was like a little over a thousand two nights ago when i was there yeah and how many matches are there oh man we taped like four episodes of tv so it was probably like 12 to 13 matches is my guess. I just had one five minute match. And then I, I go in the back and I produce and direct segments where like a wrestler's cutting a promo in a hallway. And I'm like trying to get the most out of them and find interesting ways to shoot it and stuff. So I, I definitely kind of have two jobs in, in that world for a organization called MLW, a major league wrestling is based out of Charleston, but then I hop around and I bop around. Cause I don't have a hardcore contract. So I, you know, I, I told court power, the owner of MLW, I'm like, Hey, this is new for me. I'm going to want to play in a lot of different playgrounds. So I, you know, if you're cool with that, I'd love to be a part of the show. And he was super cool with it. No. Is there a part of you that starts to lean in to your business-minded Hollywood sensibility where you're like, should I start my own or what am I doing this would i like to get to a place from what i've seen i get on a cycle of trend and see how jacked i can get no i mean that i mean selfishly both in a vainglorious sense and just like health reasons i would love to do that um i just find that um consistency has never been my thing like i used to be 333 pounds at my highest in 2011 i think is that wait when did you do that was when was doing stand-up. No way. Yeah, I-Tanya wasn't until 2017. So this is back in the day when I was like living on my buddy's couch doing doing bringer shows for Francisco Ramos or whatever, you know. Yeah. This is back then. I was a big, big boy, but I lost weight over time. I've lost about 100 pounds, but it was over time. It wasn't all at once. Yeah. But I think my Hollywood brain is just saying like, really, I'm just trying to have fun doing it and try to give back and find my little footing and learn um and the hope is that maybe i get nominated for an oscar maybe i have a hit tv show maybe whatever i do in hollywood while i'm still doing wrestling will benefit the other one will always benefit the other and get more eyeballs and maybe i'll get to cast i just cast three wrestlers in one of my last movies like it's fun for me to try to integrate the two and this isn't the we uh the new movie i think you're resident evil not that no looks so good no if i'm producing something or uh or if i'm doing something for next to no money which happens on occasion you'll i i sometimes i'm like hey you should put this person there resident evil looks so fucking it looks so good dude are you a fan of barbarian or weapons no no no i by the way i'm not a horror movie i am the most so i'm the most casual guy like and i'm not a horror movie i'm not a horror movie i'm not a horror movie i'm not really realize what i'm into i do not like horror movies but i do like resident evil i do like uh i i played the video game i used to have a video game show called uh something fresh baked video games oh yeah i know slept on that did not know you're a gamer well you know it's a it was i'm a weird type of gamer like i am i could never get into any of the big uh any like uh what is it prince of prince of thieves or whatever like uh prince of persia prince of persia uh any of the any of the ones where you had to walk somewhere i never got into even walking in a video game you're like this is exhausting what am i an israelite i yeah i was tony hawk ssx love tony hawk fucking dude can i love ken griffey jr baseball can i tell you my favorite video game story and this is i just had this with someone the other day who did i have this with i'll tell you this and so i i took my kids my when they were young we went to the aquarium in long beach and i'm walking around the aquarium and we go around this fountain and i'm like that's so funny i think i've till grinded this fountain and i was like why does this fountain look familiar i was like this i have fucking skated here my wife's like you don't skateboard i go i skateboard but i like i feel like i've skated here she goes we should get something for the kids do you want to go over the bridge i think there's a there's a uh a food court over there and i go over the bridge i grinded that bridge one time there is a food court i've been over there and then i was like oh my god slowly you realize i realized i played the video game and i played it at the fucking aquarium do the same they based all of that all of it okay off the actual aquarium and so not know that i didn't know they based it off of the aquarium i didn't know they based it off of the aquarium i didn't oh yeah and then and then i went and played pebble beach one time i'm on the third hole and i go i've driven this green and my dad goes what and i go i this dream's drivable and he's like no it's not i go no it is with a little bit of a tailwind you can get there you just gotta play to the right side and my dad's like catty's like no he's right i was like i've played this course i knew the whole course from tiger woods golf that's so funny it's just ingrained in you like unconsciously i uh i have that but with places i've been drunk or high in the past so like i remember when we were shooting richard jewel i went out with john ham a bunch and we would grab a steak or grab drinks and every place we went into he's like have you been to marcel and i'm like no never i walk in then i'm like oh i've been here and he's he's like you said this about five places like you keep thinking you've never been there and you haven't i'm like well i was probably loaded while i was there last time um was there i just didn't remember can i ask you a weird acting question and we're gonna i want to talk about your new web series on youtube uh uh boy talk thanks are you familiar with girl talk the band no you're not familiar well you are in my rotation now girl talk is what i run to every day every day i run to girl talk girl talk is this dj out of pittsburgh who does mashups with old school rock songs and hip-hop and it's so and you are next door to him on youtube girl talk and boy talk oh that sounds fun it's so good you've got to have girl talk on boy talk they might have to do our uh our theme song we need a theme song it is such a great name how did okay sounds like a nightmare to pay for no no no no famous songs so i'll tell you what i found out but i think girl talk i think ultimately i don't know what happened with girl talk i would love to get girl talk on a podcast because his anytime he plays music for anyone everyone's like wait i don't know what happened with girl talk i would love to get these are all my favorite songs all my favorite hooks of every fucking song and they're so like they give you that feeling of where your heart races and you go i can run one more mile just keep going yeah um but i found that i could clip out girl talks songs for promos and they wouldn't get flagged because it was too much music in there oh interesting it's like busied itself it's like when you you're going through airport security and they're like there's too much shit in this bag bring your weed we don't care between halloween parties you're going to the airport security and they're like there's too much shit in this bag candy runs and now thanksgiving prep creeping in on top of it october and november can get chaotic fast during the week my schedule is non-stop meetings arians late nights spots at the store and healthy eating is usually the first thing to slip tempo's been my go-to through all of it two minutes and i've got real meals no matter how packed the calendar gets so i don't default to snacks or take out tempo delivers fresh chef crafted dietician approved meals right to 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It's not like, it's, I think it's like what, 14 minutes? It's literally like 10 to 20 minutes. Yeah. And it's, and it's moves quickly. The, it's funny in and of itself. And I said to myself the other day, I did, I did like a TV show. Wow, production. Show just got canceled. Uh, access. Access Hollywood. Oh. Just, just got, not canceled, but it, you know, it's done. It's done for like, what, 20 years? Took its last breath. Yeah. And I looked around casually and I say this, I have friends that are hosts of it, but I casually looked at it and I went, it's a wild production budget. I mean, the idea that you'd go into hair and makeup and go, how's my hair look? And they go, Bill, you need to look at his hair, that you can't cross lines like that. Just like that old school Hollywood's kind of dying. And then I actually said to myself, like, eight minutes for an interview, how do you even do that? And then I watched what you guys did. I was like, that's how it's done. I was like, it's incredible how much humor, content, and how much happens in 14 minutes of your show. Yeah, we've tried to pack a lot in. I mean, it's amazing to me that I literally said, how would ever, now with your podcast, how would like Kimmel or anyone compete in an eight minute interview? And you guys absolutely did it. We tried, man. Thank you. We really, you know, one of my big comedy like heroes is David Wayne. Are you familiar with him? Very much. Loved David Wayne. His movie, Wet Hot American Summer. The state obviously was like your time. My state was one of my, state was my inspiration to get into comedy. Oh, man. It was my actual, I didn't understand comedy and different styles of comedy until the state showed up. And you see different avenues of different personalities on that show. David Wayne, I met in Greece when I was backpacking to Greece. Oh, cool. Right after I robbed a train in Russia. I meet David Wayne. He gives me his number, 212 Flexman. I moved to New York. I called David Wayne. David Wayne says, come down. We have a show called Stella. You should watch it. Oh, I love Stella. I go down and I watch Stella. On the stage is Zach Galifianakis, Michael Showalter, David Wayne, Janine Garofalo. Like Liam Black. Louis, Louis C. Everyone's on that show. And I've stayed friends with him. His new movie. Have you seen his new movie? Not yet. Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass. I want to see it. Really bad. Can I tell you? It is. It's the most I've ever laughed watching a movie in the past, easily within the past 10 years. Well, it's a real comedy made by a real funny person. Yeah. That's its own thing that's going on in Hollywood where we need to give really funny people like the Reigns more. You're so much funnier than I think anyone would expect. Does that make sense? Me? Yeah, like you're such a great actor. You're such a great actor that I think that's what people know you as. It's just a really. You're seen. In Richard Jewell. When you say to the cops, I just did my job. I just did my job. Yeah. I didn't do any. I don't know. I watched it the other day. It was like came up on like YouTube or something. Just that clip. Yeah. It's so powerful. Your ability to translate emotion in very subtle. You see some actors oversell it with like a. You know? And I've oversold it too. But yeah, it's nice when you get in the pocket. Yeah. That exact scene is like. That's your calling card of like, I can do just about anything because I can do this. It's so amazing. Yeah, I've done some drama with that and that show Blackbird where I play a serial killer guy. And I think that was. Those were kind of the two things that Hollywood took note of. I think there are other people that have seen me do a lot of comedy, whether it's like. I've done a guest star on I Think You Should Leave, Reno 911. I've done a guest star on Key & Peele. Like, I have a crazy, quiet comedy resume, but it hasn't made the noise that the drama stuff did, I think. And with Boy Talk. I think Boy Talk will because you're very quick. I mean, you did it with me and O'Shea when we were talking about how hard acting was. And you're. Have you guys tried a real job? A lot of people sent me that clip. It's such a great clip because it just. It's such a great clip because it shows who you are in real life. It's like, just guys. It's like. And it shows how out of touch O'Shea and I are. We're like, dude, you have no idea. Call time's going to be a pain in the ass. It could also be a very sanctimonious thing of like, look, I'm the one to say this, which is its own thing. But I think sometimes the joke can just be self-awareness and you can call out what's happening in the room, right? That's like an old improv rule of sometimes when you say what's going on, that's its own joke that helps move the story, right? Yeah. And I think with Boy Talk, it was like the David Wayne thing is you watch Wet Hot and there's a. There's a thousand jokes in that movie and everybody gets to be funny. It's not like we have a lead. It's like, it's a team of funny people getting in as much humor as possible. That Wet Hot 30 Rock style of comedy, I think is what we're going for with the edits. We got this guy, Hank Friedman, who did some editing for, I think, Tim Heidecker in Between Two Ferns and stuff. And like, he really knows how to edit comedy. And I think that was a huge service to us because we are trying to get a ton of jokes in there. We want it to be like. For us, this piece of comedy is like vaguely smart, but it's also really just trying to make you laugh. So it's kind of like trying to feed a stoner in a movie theater where you're like, you know, you can put the milk duds in the popcorn bucket. You know, you can mix your sodas. Like, we are really just trying to like give you a bunch of shit to just be like, ah, that was a good comedy. Oh, it's. It's so good. Your co-host. Julian Sergi. I know that I've seen him and stuff, but I couldn't put. As I watch him, I'm like, I don't. He felt like he came from out of nowhere, but yet he's been in everything I've seen. Yeah, he's in Gracie. He did an episode of Grace and Frankie. He did that Todd Phillips movie, War Dogs, with Jonah Hill. One of my favorite fucking. I think I saw him most on Key and Peele and Rami. Those are the two things that I saw him and thought he. He's murdered. He's great. But he's. Yeah, he plays that like low status, like wounded animal type thing really well. And it's still like, once again, to his credit, similar to me where it's like, even when you're trying to be funny, you're trying to give an acting performance. Sergi gives a real acting performance in that show. And it's not just like a couple of like finger gun zingers. It's like you're watching a performance. Do you. Do you think only. Just to tether on to the acting thing. Do you think about what you're doing in a scene or do you just do it instinctually? Like in that, like, let's take that Richard Jewell scene specifically. Are you trying to do anything or are you just being a little bit of you or a version of you? I find that one scene so fascinating because there's such vulnerability. That movie really fucked me up because I was in. I was in Atlanta right up until that bombing. Ooh. And then I left right before that bombing. I went back to Tallahassee and that bombing happened and I watched fucking the. I watched this country attack Richard Jewell. I mean, it's very clear that they wanted. They meaning like the collective government authority figures, FBI. They wanted to look good by having a lead within 72 hours or whatever. And for whatever reason, it felt very cozy to be like, oh, maybe he's right down the street because it makes your job easier. It is like a crafty kind of like, oh, wow. Like what a piece of trickery that is. It's the primal fear thing. Ed Norton is the bad guy. So like, I understand where the seeds of that came from, but the way they carried it out, their execution of it, that was disgustingly fallible. Yeah. I mean, you ruined somebody's fucking life, man. It's crazy. It's crazy. So when you do that scene, are you just talking like you? No, I'm very much locked into like a character, a feeling. There's a song in the back of my head. There's what I'm doing underneath the table, how my legs are crossed, what's in my pocket at the time, what I'm choosing to look at. Really? It's a lot of like. So it really is like a totally different person. I've only played me. I've only played me. No, it is a different person. There are certain like internal anchors though. Like when I played the serial killer guy in Blackbird. Blackbird's fucking incredible. That's a character. That's me doing some work. But the things I can anchor to are the feeling of being misunderstood or lonely or like what is wrong with me and insecure. From anger to displacement, there are emotions that I can go, oh, I've felt that before. And so you kind of put that battery into the device that is the character you've crafted. So if you're making a device to play a character, an electronic picture, the battery is what are the commonalities you have to anchor that you're sticking into the device. And with Richard Jewell, similar thing. Oh, the. You know, the fat loser guy or whatever. The way, you know, I've been talked about that time in memoriam. Time in memorial? I don't know. But I've been talked about a lot. So that is my anchor. And then I'm building from that foundation and that truth. Sometimes a character is very close to me. And I'm kind of just playing a version of me. Boy talk, I go by my own name. But that's not you. But I'm playing a heightened. You're playing a heightened character of you. And it's. But it's. I'll tell you. what I do like about boy talk is it is I feel like it's it's i feel like it's more you you're very quick and very i mean very funny like like it's i mean it reminds i keep saying but it does remind me of like a tim heidecker uh zach alphanackis like like you know like those guys tim heidecker's so good heidecker's another like low-key actor genius like he gives he gives performances there are times in my life where i've just been like trying to get the laugh and uh and it's more about animal instincts than than a cerebral take on what i'm doing but heidecker like is i think he's like really smart and that's maybe why he's not suffering a lot of fools in certain circles of of influences because he's i think he's a really smart guy can i tell you a weird uh tim and eric story now i i like dude i love their show by the way the adult swim show which one tim and eric oh yeah oh yeah well hold on so wait so i gotta i'm gonna be honest and i yes i hope i don't i'm certain being honest is a good thing you can own that you're good oh i i get in trouble for being honest all the time i wish i was less honest i wish i was totally less honest because i overshare like i i uh i way overshare i talk about what i'm going through in therapy i talk about everything and i wish i didn't do it all but i can't help it and like this is a perfect example of like i think i've dm'd with uh with tim yeah and i love i love what eric's doing in like the food space for lack of better words i love his passion about food because i'm passionate about food same and um like but not even as remotely as passionate as he is i mean his i think he released a cookbook that was fucking incredible oh i didn't even know i think he did anyway so but so 2000 i'm gonna say four or six tim and eric's like blowing up up right my buddy produces the tv show and my buddy's like i'm doing this new comedy show i'm doing two new comedy shows why does kids you know right and tim and eric and i was like cool i check out what his kids you know and i get it i fall in love with this guy trevor who i became friends with he made me laugh the hardest for whatever reason he ended up passing away yeah tragically sweetest guy in the world and then we and and then tim and eric my buddy says we're gonna go they're gonna be at like the troubadour or something if you want to go with me you're gonna see the live show i was like yeah please so we go and i see some people i know i see zach first person i see is when zach's partying crager or galvanak galvanak oh okay and zach galvanak is to this day my favorite person to sit next to a bar i sit at a bar next to it's a bummer that he doesn't drink if you ever fall off the wagon zach hit me up please i will fly to wherever you are zach galvanak says our uncles know each other my dad knows your uncle i went what and then immediately like the weirdest connection you'd zach always had something crazy that he would start off with yeah and he says you're gonna love tonight i go in and i watch tim and eric live show and i absolutely do not get it not only am i not laughing i'm like feeling bad for the people that they're bringing on stage and i'm like i'm really not getting it well it's very out there it's wildly out there i mean people are pissing on themselves and it's like and i'm like wait what am i watching and then i'm like okay and my buddy's producing he's like what do you think and i was like it was good and so then i have and then i run up to zach and zach's like i go he's like what do you think and i was like zach i didn't fucking get it he's like for real i was like yeah zach's like it's brilliant and i was like for real and he was like dude he goes you gotta watch he goes we're doing some stuff you gotta watch this stuff we're doing shooting some films or whatever so i don't get it like he zach sends me a couple things or i get him and i'm like they're doing a commercial and i mind you i haven't laughed at tim and eric once i don't get it not on my radar not a big deal they do an ad for absolute vodka i saw all three of them there were three of them on youtube yeah funny or die yeah psychotic they're all wearing wigs right they're wearing wigs and they pull up to zach's house in the wigs and they're like with their girlfriends and this is is sometimes with music you need one line to make you laugh right that happened for leanne with zach leanne did not get zach did not get him did not find him funny did not find him enjoyable and i was like baby he's hysterical and then one day he's on stage and he goes well you know it's time to do laundry when you get out of the shower and dry off with a shoe and leanne loved him ever since tim and eric and zach's in his apartment and they're with their girlfriends and they're like zach and he's like guys and they're like what are you doing and he's like i think we should talk and tim and eric look at their girlfriends go ladies go wait by the jet skis yeah they're wearing windbreakers and i fell laughing and from that day forward got tim and eric i didn't it's like sometimes it's like you just needed to unlock something you gotta unlock one the silliness or the whatever it was and then and now it's like like i can i can watch and you know obviously tim makes fun of a lot of my friends and a lot of almost exclusively my friends and i can enjoy it without malice and without like and if and if i'm also you're a big boy you work in comedy it's like we're all fair game south park set the tempo yeah like everybody gets made fun of blue two is the official sponsor of birdcast and you know what else blue two can sponsor that look your girl gives you when she's ready for another round and all the texts you send to your neighbors and say oh sorry for all the noise last night i was laying it down like i did the other night let me tell you about my night of rockish sex we had you know what i'm gonna i'm gonna just pause no one wants to hear about a 53 year 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sportsbook predictions and free to play sports contest availability varies by state yeah i enjoy it i actually think i texted him one time i was like please tell me i'm not next and but i think he was like burt you're not on my radar i don't know what he said but but he i find him so fucking funny dude did you see him did you see him impersonate bill maher yeah that's the kind of like outrageous genius level comedy performance like i'm i'm friendly i don't know tim heidecker at all i'm just a massive fan but i'm friendly with fred armisen and armisen did one of the episodes with him as maher and i texted armisen i was like i don't know how i was i had a headache from laughing at it i was like i don't know how you do that like i don't know how you got through that dude fred armisen my favorite thing about fred armisen is he's best friends with jeff tweedy from wilco oh fred armisen fred armisen like i didn't know who fred armisen was so i was obsessed with this documentary i'm trying to break your heart about wilco yeah that was a popular block i haven't seen i know of it yeah fred armisen's in it but he's in it as a latin band leader so and it's and it's a character he's doing yeah and i see that now i don't know who fred armisen is at the time but he's in his character he's making jeff tweedy laugh and i'm watching it so then i go to i go to uh uh aspen and i see fred armisen it's the band leader i don't realize he's on snl at the time okay is this like 2003 it's got to be it's got to be 2004 it's got to be 2006 it has to be because i had an infant or maybe 2005 yeah it had to be right because i think armisen got on snl in 2002 2003 it might have been after it might have been after snl i I mean, for all I know is I know, I know him now that I'm with Nick's Nick. When's, when did that come out? 2002. Oh, okay. That was right when I was like right around the time he broke. Yeah. And so I am at Aspen. I know nobody. I'm, I'm in a film that's airing in Aspen and I know nobody. My daughters are there with me. They're both have the flu. I go up to try to network and I see Nick Swartzen who invites me over to have a drink with him and his buddy, Fred and his Fred Armisen. Oh, and this is all I can say. You know, sometimes in life, it's the small things that, that speak volumes of the person. We're at Aspen. He's on SNL. He's friends with my favorite band and we sat at a table, me, him and Nick, and he made eye contact with me the whole time. He never once looked over my shoulder. He just talked to me and I was like, yeah, totally. Your mom's dying. What kind of one stage cancer? Yeah. Sorry. Bradley Whitford just walked in. Yeah. You piece of human. No. And Fred Armisen looked at me in the eyes the whole time. So, so you're, you're in a film. And I said, yeah, it's about a, it's called alpha male. It was about a mailman who was losing his job. It was a comedy thing. It was whatever. Wouldn't have nothing ever happened with it, but he just talked to me, made eye contact the whole time. And I was so blown away that like this guy that was famous, it was, you know, it's like the littlest thing. It means so much at times. Yeah. Especially when you're in an environment like that, where like those places can be really stuffy. Sometimes I've been doing, I'm sober now, but back when I wasn't like there were some parties I would go to where I'm like, I'm just going to get super stoned so that I can navigate through this comfortably and not care because it's uncomfortable sometimes when you're stoned sober and you're surrounded by a bunch of sometimes elitists or people that are weirdos. Yeah. Weirdos or whatever the thing is. It depends on the environment. Did it get easier when you got famous? I still don't feel famous. I feel famous. I feel famous when I'm at, I was, I went to a concert a couple of weeks ago. Um, I'm friendly with, uh, Chris Carraba, the lead singer at dashboard confessional. They're opening for the fray or with the fray. And, and I like both those bands. I also, I mean, I listened to everything. Uh, I, I'm wearing a dashboard shirt. I know owning it, but, um, this was like one of the bands I really listened to in high school and I still do. And, uh, I was there and I, I think I gave out like 15 selfies and like the first half hour. And I was like, okay, this is, this is a lot. This is kind of a lot now. Um, but I, I think that type of stuff I'm actually really chill with real people. It's I get uncomfortable sometimes. I was supposed to go tonight to this Emmy party thing. I'm going, I'm going to a Netflix one. I don't even know if I'm going to go, but, uh, I got invited to the Netflix one and the Apple one. I didn't even get invited. I think we asked if I could go cause I was in town, but like, it was a thing of like, this is great to keep. I'm dying to hear how your comfort level goes. Sometimes when we walk into those, it's like, I like having this conversation everywhere I go. And that's, Hey, that's not fair to everybody else because that's having kind of a weird high ideal expectation thing. But also I'm, I'm so many people are just full of shit and, and those rooms can be really not fun. Um, even if the food's really good, you know, it's like if they got, if they got a, what's that, what's the pizza place, John and Vinnie's. John, I thought you were going to say fucking, what was the one I went to the other day? I went to the cheesiest, the worst, but I can't say it now, but keep going. Comment pizza. Um, no, I, it, it's this place called Epstein's they have great pizza. Um, now I just like, I, if they have really good food, I'm like, yeah, well, it's John and Vinnie's. I'm going to stick around for a while regardless. I'm going to feed my little bell bell, but, um, but I'm like, I, I need to have a real conversation with somebody and be normal. I can't. The worst is when somebody's like acting like they're. So enamored with you. And then a second later, they wouldn't urinate on you if you were on fire and you're just like, how did you go from looking me in the eye, like a cult leader and being really invested in nice to 45 seconds later, not looking at me and I'm standing next to you. Yeah. Like you've, you've edged me out of the conversation. Half circle. Oh, that's, that's more of what I'm getting at is like, I'm not really in the club in Hollywood. I think they know. I can do what they do, but I'm not really in the club. Still. I'm still more, uh, you are the club to me because I go, uh, you're, you're the club to me. You, you got your own like empire. No, but I, but I look at you and I go, you're the one everyone wants to get under the hood with and figure out like, cause your, your talent is undeniable. That is the key in Hollywood is to be undeniable. It's like when you meet someone like, oh, I'm, I'm casually saying like Bradley Cooper, right? Like Bradley Cooper is a great director, great actor, really just a prolific kind of brain. Uh, Jordan Peele, Jordan Peele, like that's the crazy work ethic on those types. Yeah. Yeah. When you look at those guys, they seem to be, when they go to those parties, I feel like they, they can be themselves and I never felt, I still have a hard time like tonight. I just started really drinking again. But not, uh, it hasn't, it's been like to the point where every time I drink, I always go, that went well. Oh good. No, if you can have a good relationship with it, it's wonderful. Well, I'm never going to not, here's the thing. I'm never going to not have a relationship with it. So like I made that decision a while ago, I just had a certain point and go, what kind of a relationship do I want? And I don't like my old one. I don't want to be drinking. I don't want to be drinking 32 ounce vodka sodas. Like that's where I was. Yeah. That's the ice. I mean, we'll just say, but, but I would, I, I always wanted to be the guy, like I would see guys like that would be like, uh, in the, in the afternoon, they're like, you guys got to try this whiskey. Can you do it? Do you want a glass of whiskey? And they like, yeah, I'll take a glass when I would say that I was like, oh yeah, but the gloves are off. Like we're going, we're getting after it today. Yeah. No, all or nothing. Yeah. And, and the other day I had a glass and a half of whiskey and then didn't drink again and I didn't want for it. And I just kind of was like, I'm going to drink. That feels nice. I'm glad. I'm happy for you. God. I wish, I wish I could employ that method, but I yesterday I'm a psycho yesterday. I had two beers. Do you know what that's like? I mean, that's like crazy talk. That's like saying like, dude, I cuddled with a dude last night and I just didn't fuck her anything. That's kind of crazy. I don't know. That's a bad one. But you know, my example is like, oh yeah, yesterday I had a, I went to the movies. I had two handfuls of popcorn and I had four sour patch kids. I can't do that, dude. I can't do that. I can't. But by the way, I'm basically anally inserting candy mid film. I'm watching. I'm like, man, whoo, this, uh, this Meryl Streep is a real, real talented broad while I'm shoving full boxes of milk duds in my asshole. Where did popcorn? Where did pop? Popcorn and candy come in with movies. For some reason, there's like a, there's a whole gag with my family and friends where we talk about, we incorporate anal insertion into anything. That's like, that's like, we'll be like, oh, how was the pasta? Oh, I, yeah, I shoved the whole thing in my ass. It's just, that's like our like running thing. And then we'll be like, I gotta calm down. I gotta stop binge watching this show. I'm the pit is basically living in my asshole. Dude. I'm gonna up my ass at movies. Like I fist it to the point where I've gone through a full large popcorn before the movie starts. I think just the, the active in the ass is, is feel so aggressive to me that it's like I can then copy and paste that to then express how I feel about something I'm indulging in. There, there is an indulgence to anal insertion and an aggressiveness to it. Yeah. It's just more, it's more aggressive. Even if it's not intending to be, it just, it's even like, it's like, I always, I found out recently that like not all gay guys fuck in the ass and I was like, I didn't know that could be the thing. Like, you mean you could just get blow jobs. And then I thought what Christians, they must be to let a dude bang them in the ass. Like how cool of it. What Christians? I don't know. It was the wrong word, but it was like, what, like a selfless moment, Christian scientists. That's still hard. What a selfless moment to be like, you get to, here you go. You listen. I don't know how all that works. I've never part partaked, partooken part taken with Liam Neeson, um, but, um, you were so good. I hope everybody's taking care of everybody. I owe a naked gun. That was fun. Yeah. Can I ask another, another example of like comedy that doesn't get made that often that thank God we had a Kiva Schaefer, Doug and Dan, the writers, Liam. Like we, we had a good team that like protected the comedy in that movie. Yeah. And like, we were like, we were like, we were like, we were like, we were like, we were like, Zabaw by Kid Rock while scatting. It's so funny. Are you still doing the Chris Farley thing? I'm attached, but, like, I don't know what it means anymore. Like, we're at New Line Cinema. We're trying to get the budget to a good place where Warner Brothers would greenlight it because Warner owns New Line. And then the Ellison family and the Skydance Paramount regime is trying to acquire Warner Brothers, which owns New Line. So we're kind of, like, unless you're, like, Oppenheimer 2 or Barbie 2, I don't know that you're getting the green light. We're just kind of in their library of things that could get made, but we're all on hold. What does, like, I wonder. I don't know how to get that movie made, man. I wonder how much money you need to make it, though. I was saying, like, give us, like, a 40 mil gross and then, like. Like, in New York, the tax incentives are psychotic. New York and New Jersey give you back, like, 40%. So it's, like, even if you spend 40 mil off the top, you're only really netting a cost of, like, 23 million. And it's, like, if you spend another 23 on P&A and you advertise the movie well and give it a good date, you got to make 46 mil worldwide back. And you have Chris Farley biopic. But can I ask you a weird question? Is there a vulnerability in doing that? Because you take someone who is so, so almost crystallized and cherished, almost in idolatry, to take a stab at being him. It's got to feel, like, nerve-wracking. I just got to stay in a place of healthy delusion with it. Really? Because I know I can do it, but if I look down mid-climb, I'll fall off the rock face. That's smart. That's a smart way to look at that. But I also just, I love Chris. Like, I never met him. But, like, I love Chris the way I love him. I love my family. I adore him. Oh, man. So, it's like, I just think if you lead with love and you do your homework, you can't fail. The movie could still fail. Oh, shit. We opened up against the ninth Hunger Games and it did well. We're in trouble. But, like, I can't get in trouble for my portrayal if I lead with love and do the homework. Yeah, and. I don't think. By the way, can I tell you how, I think how, in so much that acting and movies have changed, I don't. I don't think enough people, and I know this is a little bit of a weird statement, pay credit to what a great actor Chris was. Oh, yeah. I mean, he didn't get to do it enough, too. Yeah, and I think people go, it's Tommy Boy, you know? Like, ah, you know? But I don't think they realize, as an actor, I look at those scenes and his just, the small things. Well, you can take a good look at a cow if you put your foot in her ass. Ha-ha. Like, his asides. Yeah. Comedic asides. His asides are so astute and so subtle and so over the top at the same time that. And they became part of our lexicon. It doesn't hurt so much here or here. Oh, yeah. Like, those little things. Not just quoting stuff, but how we. How. The identity of how we choose to be funny. The identity of how we. That's the fucking thing. That, like, he changed that. This is what I'm obsessed with. Holy shit. Say that again one more time. Chris Farley is one of those people that changed the DNA of comedy to where it changed the identity of how we choose to be funny. It's literally like. That's it. That's it. That's the most profound thing that's ever been said on my podcast. That's it. That is comedy. I think it gets at the idea, too, though, of, like, you're not creating the Kleenex. You're creating. How do I put this? There's a difference between Kleenex and tissue, right? A brand and an invention. Yeah. I think Chris was one of those inventors of a style of comedy that could then be taken off with. Obviously, like, you and I have employed it consciously or unconsciously at times. And I think there's a lot of people that are less in the invention business and more like we're all making Kleenexes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm in Georgia. I'm in the country. I'm in the car with Leanne. We're driving on a road trip. We're shooting the show in Atlanta. We're doing a road trip for the weekend to go out. The sitcom? Yeah, yeah. We're finishing the second season. And I, for the first time, I've never done this with my stand-up. I've only just. I go very simple. Very simple. I'm like a chef who knows what. I know when I can tell you what I like. You know? That's it. But I don't know what kind of food I make. I just make really great food. And I like it. And I hope you like it, too. But I know I like it. Yeah. And then one day, I realized there's some stuff I don't like. Like, for the first time, I had a discerning palate where I was like, you know, I don't like certain types of comedy. Like, I really genuinely don't like them. And it's because comedy's so, so broadly represented on the landscape of social media where I see so many people and I go, yeah, I get that that's supposed to be good, but it's not what I like. There's a girl, Barone, Mary Beth Barone, and I loved her special. I loved her special. And I didn't know why. I expected it to be one thing and it wasn't. And I went, whoa. And I'm not saying, like, female or male. I'm talking style of comedy. It was great stories, very small, succinct, things she had whittled down, zero of the things I didn't like. And I loved it. I reached out to her, texted her, I loved your special. And then I'm sitting in the car with Leanne, and the thing I said more than anything was, whatever the fuck you just said, is when you show someone, when you show someone how to be funny, when a comic says a phrase that you then, as a couple, can take and use with each other as your catchphrase of love. Dave Attell was for me and Leanne. With Skanks for the Memories, we listened to it and it changed the way we address each other. It changed the way you communicate. The way you communicate. Dave, the easiest example. It starts as a joke and it has a bigger impact over time. Yeah. Boogily, boogily, watch out. My wife would say that. Getting the kids ready for school. Does everyone get it that's going to get it? Let's move along. And it wasn't even the joke per se. It was like, it was the asides. And, you know, I think Ace Ventura, Borat, they kind of taught boys, Chevy Chase, Belushi, Bill Murray, taught people how to be funny. Bill Murray taught people how to, taught boys how to be funny. You watch Caddyshack and you're either a, you're either a Carl or a Thai trainer kind of guy. And, and they give access points to, to ways of being funny, right? And it's like, similar to a chef, you know, we both love food. It's like, sometimes a chef who's already good and is making a Southern American fare spends two, three months in another country and they then employ a methodology into what they're already doing and they bring it back to America. And it's like, wow, this shit is so much better. 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Martin Short was somebody who, even as a seven, eight-year-old kid, I went, Oh, you are. You are committing and immersing in a way that few do. Yeah. Whatever it is you're doing. Daniel Stern, for me, that was all about facial expressions and like the anger of the common man. Yeah. It was like seeing Daniel Stern get mad looked like seeing your friend's dad get mad and you're like, I kind of don't want to spend the night anymore. Yeah. Chris Farley was just like the playful recklessness, you know. Jim Varney. Jim Varney. Right now, right now, stop. Does anyone know who Jim Varney is, right? By the way, I guarantee you, no one downstairs knows who Jim Varney is. They would know if they saw a photo, probably. If you saw a photo within a second. You're like, that guy. Jim Varney is, of course, Ernest from Ernest Goes to Jail, Ernest Scared Stupid, Ernest Goes to Camp, Ernest Saves Christmas, all these local to national commercials. And, of course, he also acted in other like film films where he's not playing Ernest. But that guy, his whole thing was like. You can be really funny while being clean and you can also employ alternative comedy in the mainstream. People would look at Jim Varney now and they would be like, oh, yeah, he did that comedy for families and kids and he was a weirdo. But it's like, no, no, no. The guy talked to his neighbor who remained silent off camera and he would talk to the camera and say, hey there, Vern, how you doing, man? Yeah, come on in. I just want to rewire the electrical in your house. And then he'd rip. Like the electrical cord and rip through the guy's like ceiling and wallpaper. Like it was something completely different that nobody else was doing. Yeah. And it was a grassroots local public access thing that became national. He was Medea before Medea. Yeah. Better Medea. Better. From just my POV. Jim Carrey is obvious physical comedy stretching your face. Commitment to like short. And Robin Williams is really the thing of like you're giving a good acting performance while being hysterical. I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to pay you a compliment. Out of all of those, I see you most like Robin Williams, like fucking wildly funny. But out of all those people and Jim Carrey, Jim Carrey's got access, but no one had access to to emotion the way the way Robin Williams did. Robin Williams could could. He was so. I mean, you know, and I wonder if like I bet my assistant has no idea who Robin Williams is like. I know that sounds crazy, but we got to remember he was so big to us. But like this, this new Gen Z. If you're born in 2007, it's it's not the same. Yeah. They're like, oh, yeah, yeah. He was the voice for Aladdin. Yeah. No, I think. Thank you. I think Robin, I never got to meet him or work with him, but like his innate goodness and heart definitely. We were on display in Good Morning Vietnam and Deadpool Society. Yes. Good Will Hunting and stuff. And there were times where he copy and pasted his own humor into places it wouldn't normally even be appropriate. Like he's doing his John Wayne impression or his Mahatma Gandhi, Gandhi impression all over the place. But he could also do one hour photo where he's completely dissolved. You don't see Robin anywhere. And one hour photo. The movie that really sits with me the most is, well, first of all, Father of the Year. Father of the Year was that was a heavy one. Father of the Year. Bobcat directed it. Robin Williams is incredible. Can I tell you the one that really kind of kept me up at night that I think about more often than I should? What Dreams May Come. Do you know, this is shameful. I haven't seen What Dreams May Come, but I get approached anytime people see the Robin Williams. They bring up like two movies. It's always Mrs. Doubtfire and What Dreams May Come. Mrs. Doubtfire is just genius. A genius, genius, genius movie. Well, What Dreams May Come is like a heavy movie, right? What Dreams May Come is, I mean, it fucked me up. I can't believe I haven't seen it. It's so crazy. Are you doing, are you working on a movie right now? The Scooby-Doo thing? I just wrapped Scooby-Doo for Netflix. It's a live action thing. With, in Atlanta? In Atlanta. With, um, uh. Scott, who's the. Scott Rosenberg. He's the man. Dude. He's awesome. That guy fucking rocks. I was, I, our hotel, our rooms were next door to each other in Atlanta at the hotel. Oh, okay. And I'm walking to my room and he's in front of me and he goes, Bert, I think, I'm paraphrasing how it happened, but he goes, uh, Bert Kreischer. And I went, yeah. He goes, Scott Rosenberg, I'm friends with, uh, a good friend of yours, Todd. Gardner. And I went, yeah. And he goes, uh. He goes, what are you. Producer, Todd Gardner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, what are you doing? And I said, oh, I'm doing my show. He goes, oh, second season? I was like, yeah. He goes, congrats. I go, what are you doing? I'm not, mind you, I don't know who I'm talking to at this moment. Okay? Like, I just heard a name. Yeah. And he knows my friend. And I go. And you're also a normal, like, approachable person where you're going to talk to whoever. Yeah. I mean, he was walking in with a massage table and a masseuse. So, like, I figured he was in Hollywood. And he's staying in one of those rooms on that floor. So, I figure he must be doing something. And he goes, I'm doing Scooby-Doo. And I went, oh, wow. And I had heard someone saying the Scooby-Doo kids were around. They were, like, coming in and out of the gym. And I went, cool. So, I text Todd. I'm like, yo, I'm sitting a little bit next door to your boy. And he's like, oh, such a fucking legend. And then, casually, I say it. Oh, they're doing the movie Scooby-Doo. We're on set. We're doing Scooby-Doo. Who's doing it? Scott Rosenberg or whatever. And they're like, you mean the movie? You mean the writer of, what is it, the fucking Con Air? Things to do in Denver when you're dead. Things to do in Denver. Con Air. Con Air. High Fidelity. Beautiful girls. Beautiful fucking girls. That's my favorite. Beautiful girls. And then I go on a deep dive of this guy's career. Because I start going into meetings. He's sick of it. And, dude, he is the man. Yeah. Apparently, this guy, I would love to hear it from his mouth. So, I don't tell his stories. But, apparently. They would, like, throw him a million dollars, send him to Vegas and go, fix this script. And he'd be like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That was back one day. Send it in. They're like, no, we have a hit. They used to pay in love writers, I heard. Yes. In the Shane Black, Scott Rosenberg days. You have, what, three kids? Yeah. Five-year-old, three-year-old, one-year-old. We have daughters with the same name. Isla, right? Isla Grace. Isla Grace. Isla Grace Chrysler. I call her Isla Grace, the face that runs the place. Isla Grace with the pretty face. That's what you say in our house. You know, I talked about this in therapy the other day. day. Um, I'm really sensitive to children because I was a sensitive child and things that happened to me that weren't, they weren't, uh, our words or anything bad, like nothing really bad, but like just a little bit of neglect, like a casual neglect. I'll register and it'll really hit me heavy. The other day we're driving down, uh, Magnolia and I see a father, a wife and their daughter and they're walking their daughter to school. And I, I just recognized that the dad looked a little hungover and he was walking three steps in front of his daughter who was walking with his wife and his daughter was trying to connect with her dad. And you could see that he was just vacant and he was like, yeah, like, let's go. And it, I got really emotional about it. And I, I brought it up in therapy because I was like, that daughter deserves all the playfulness of that dad in that. You're on Magnolia. Life isn't great. You're walking across Magnolia to go to school with your dad who's hungover and your mom who isn't the most attractive woman in the world. And, and, and I'm just sitting there going like that dad needs to step his fucking game up and play like, let that little girl know life's okay. Like you felt like he had an opportunity to connect with her and he chose disconnection because of however he was feeling, however he was feeling. He let his feelings trump hers. And I actually, I actually said that to my wife, I wanted to pull over and grab the dad and go, dude, I'd shake him out of it. Yeah. Be like, Hey man, it's not about you. It's not about your band or the fact that you're not. Cause I was there when I was a broke dad. I was, I would. And I said that I brought it up in therapy. I was like, have I ever been that dad? Cause I, there, I was poor when I had kids. We didn't have money. I know people think that I, I have money my whole life. I've never, I never had money when we had kids, but I made 700 bucks a weekend. And that was, and that's how that worked. And, and Leanne was like, no, you, for whatever reason, you, you always plugged in when you're made me feel so good. But then they go, this must be coming from your childhood. Oh yeah. Where is that questioning? I, I, I, um, I had a similar thing where, I mean, I, let me just say this for anybody watching or any dad's mom's questioning that about themselves for one logic and numbers would tell you, you are not going to have a perfect scorecard of parenting. You're not in any capacity and that's normal. And those, and those fuck ups make the person that too. Um, and you have to afford yourself reasonable amounts of grace, if not above average grace, every six months, one of your fucks up is going to show up in your head out of nowhere. It happened with me yesterday. Oh yeah. I have a real genuine fuck up. I did with my daughter and I went, I went with six months. I know it sucks, man. I, I, I saw this, I worked at a, um, a circus called Cavalia. It was like an equestrian like show from the people that did Cirque du Soleil. I worked like six weeks there in 2013 Burbank where I'm like a door guy and I'm like putting food down tables and all this shit. As people walk out, I'm the greeter who like holds the door when they exit. I saw this old guy, probably 78 to 85 years old. And he's, he's all giddy leaving the show. Like, wow. Like this guy's been sitting on his couch for months. Hasn't gotten out or done anything. He's all giddily and excited, giddy and excited. As he walks out, he says to his wife and seemingly his, uh, you know, the other two generations with him, he goes, Oh, where's the next party? You know, uh, like he's ready for more fun. And he looks over and they're all on their phones. None of them heard him or said anything back to him. And you saw the energy leave his body as he realized, Oh, that was a show real life. We're all disconnected. And I don't have any of the verve or a piss and vinegar that this thing just gave me. Wow. It was one of the worst moments of my life and it didn't even happen to me. I just witnessed it. But I saw, I saw the young man starting to spill out of the old man and have this moment and just, nothing was reciprocated. So yeah, somewhere to the father daughter thing. It's like, yeah, reciprocate, man, show up, find a way to make it fun. All the things. It's funny. The little things, like if I, like, uh, I talked about it in therapy about something that happened with me and my mom when, when star Wars came out, it was nothing. My advice, that is my mom. She had no recollection. The original in 77. Uh, yeah, but it was like right around like probably 79, 78. Yeah. When it was a toy I wanted. And, uh, it was just this casual interaction of me and my mom at a toy store that I think about way too often. And I brought it up in therapy and my daughter's got emotional. And my, my, my daughter's came to our couples therapy. I just told this Tom randomly, my daughter's just barged into my couples therapy with my wife and it was fucking awesome. But I told this story and they were like, holy shit, dad, that must've been devastating. And I was like, it's funny. I wouldn't say devastating, but it's, sat with me and it was the same day I saw that little girl. Yeah. And I said, you know, those little things. And I kept saying it like, cause I, you know, there's a moment as a dad where you're like trying to read a book. I, it's so funny. I said, I remember I had a hard time reading baby beluga to you guys. And Georgia goes, it's not a book that it's a song. I was like, wait, why am I thinking of baby blues? He goes, I have no idea that you were great at reading books to us. Cause you used to curse. And then it made me feel so good about myself. She goes, you don't remember you use daddy words. Like you'd be like, uh, you'd be like, you'd start to read a book. You'd be like green eggs and ham. No, no. Fuck you. Suck it. I will not eat that Sam. I am. I won't eat them on a goddamn boat, on a fucking plane, on a fucking train. And I was like, Oh yeah, I used to do that. Oh yeah. I used to do Sam Kinnison Seuss. Yeah, I did. And Isla said to me, she goes, do you remember I asked you to do it at my class? And, and I went, Oh my God, she brought me into her kindergarten class to read green eggs and ham and was like, do it. And I was like, okay. And I started doing it. She's like, no, like she's in kindergarten. She's like, do it with daddy words. And I was like, baby, I can't. She was like, dad, I told everyone about it. Oh no. I was like, all right, we're getting close. And I dialed back the cursing I do with her, made it. You said dang it and stinking. Golly, no, no, no. Just do a little bit of Kinnison. Yeah. And the kids were crying, laughing. And the, her teacher didn't speak English. He's homeless now, oddly enough. Isn't that crazy? You bring your kids to couple therapy. We talk about that. And I go, I said something about the teacher and they go, he's homeless. And then all of a sudden this, our poor couple's therapist is like, what the fuck's happening? These kids don't know where the fucking food is. I gave him green eggs and ham and he said, no, no, no, no. I can taste my own blood. Christian and psychopath Sam Kinnison. Um, yeah, dude, it's, um, I'll, I'll say this cause, cause we're both also realizing like we, we both have done the comedy things, the acting things, the entrepreneurial things. It's all fun, but no amount of money, no award, no opportunity, be it air force one or the academy award stage. You have to admit nothing feels better. Then when your kids look at you, I would say there are two looks. One of them is when they look at you with expectancy and the expectancy is you've entered our, our, our atmosphere right now. You've entered the room and it's going to become more fun because you entered that is that look of expectancy means so much. So much to us. And the other one I would say is the look of trust where when they're about to do something hard or scary and they make the decision, they make the decision that I'm going to trust you in this. And I'm actually less scared because I'm choosing to trust in you. That's the closest we ever get to feeling like God. I imagine is the intimacy of eliciting trust. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to wrap up this podcast. I don't need, I don't need anything else said. And I don't want to fuck up that moment with me sharing a story of when that happened to me because that's where my brain's going. But that is so, that is so, that is so perfect. And I'll tell you in that moment that I thought of that I think of every six months of my worst parenting moment, my worst, my worst parenting moment so bad that I we've, we've said, we'll never talk about it. And I didn't do anything per se was something that happened in our house casually that kids go through that, you know, kids, kids do certain things, the omission of something. Yeah. And it was, and, and I was, and I, and that moment scared me and I think about it and we never, we've never brought it up again, but I think about it a lot. And you saying that second one in that I didn't do anything other than make everyone feel like everyone was safe. didn't lose my temper. I didn't get upset. I didn't yell. I made everyone feel like they were going to be safe. Made me feel so much better about that really bad moment in my parenting. It's the one I thought about. I actually thought about it yesterday driving back from a golf course and I went, oh, like, whoa, that fucked up. That sits with me wrong. And I said, I should talk about that in therapy. Although we said, we'll never talk about this. And by the way, it makes sound like we killed a guy. We didn't, it's not that bad. It's so casual. But it's high stakes for you. It was, it was so traumatic for me. And it's, and it's just, it's, it's very lightweight. Any other family would be like, that's not, but in our family, it was our thing. And, uh, and I did the right thing in that moment is I didn't get upset. I didn't yell. I didn't, I didn't, I just said, everyone's going to be fine. Everything's going to be great. We're okay. And I, I really felt shitty about that moment until you just said that. And I was, and I was like, yeah, man, that is the moment when your kids go, I fucked up. This is bad. And you as a parent go, it's not that bad. And you take something that could be something that fucks your kid up forever. And you take the air out of it and you go, it's going to be okay. Cause it's us. That's really powerful. And also it's going to be okay. Because I, I love you. Yeah. And you know, I got to tell you, my relationship with my daughters is on a scale of 10, I have solid tens across the board. We have, we are so close, but, and I, and I, I, you've said some really profound things in my relationship with you, but within this last hour and 15 minutes, and that thing is the thing every parent should hear those two things. But God, man, you and I as, as dads, especially girl dads, it's like, we have to be the entertainer and we have to be the protector. That's it. And what a privilege. Those are two really cool things. By the way, you get none of this on boy talk, boy talks, just fucking hysterical boy talking resident evil are purely comes out like in four days. Yeah. Yeah. Resident evil is nine 18 and a boy talk is already on YouTube. And if you want to scare, you want to laugh, apparently chemically, they do the same thing to your brain or body. They do the same thing to your nerve. Uh, I'm trying. I don't know if you'll like it, but Lord knows I'm trying. Who do you have coming out on boy talk? You got, I think you have Chuck superstar, Becky Lynch. Oh, Becky Lynch. She's the shit. Becky Lynch is the shit. We got Becky Lynch. We got Teddy swims. We got, uh, Olympic fencer, miles, Chandler Watson, former queer. I host Emmy Emmy winner, uh, Bobby Burke. Like we, we just have a lot of Amelia Hartford, a lot of cool people. Yeah. We, and we're planning the next 12. We're going to shoot more and keep pumping it out. And we're just trying to gain, we're trying to do what you guys do. Gain a following, try to make people laugh, make people happy, make people feel seen and try to make a business out of it. Right now, there's no money to be had, but there's a lot of fun and we'll see if we can spread it. If you would, I would do this. I actually opted to do this podcast for free this year. Like I said, let's just pull all so that I didn't have to release it on a schedule. Oh, and I said, stop doing it for money because I love doing it, but do it. Having to do it was killing me having to do it every week. And then we figured out a program where I could do something's burning and this and just cut them down and it worked so much better, but I would, I would do this for free. And I'm telling you, if, if you're looking for, if you're looking for fun in a very digestible format, you're going to laugh your off at boy talk. It is awesome. It is awesome. You are the premier talents of my generation. And so it's a pleasure to know you and you are everything you're in. You're fucking incredible resident evil in four days on September 18th. It's obviously it's resident evil. It's going to be huge yet, but everything. And I hope the Farley thing happens. I can't wait to see you in Scooby-Doo. And at the end of the day, the thing we got to remember is whether your next special is critically acclaimed or whether your next special is dwarfed by the happening in the world that take away from viewership. Same with me, any of my movies, shows, whatever, like we look at our family, we're okay. Yeah. And, uh, and I, I think God's got our backs, whether we acknowledge God or not, we're, we're the recipients of grace and there's always going to be the next thing. And we didn't even get to talk about turpentine and karate Pete. Oh my God. Tommy karate. Yeah. Karate P is a different movie. I had to pass on. They asked for scale. Um, Pete Davidson went full drama actor in Tommy karate. It'll open next year. Uh, it's a true crime story. Look up, look up Tommy karate and Google. You will have a fascinating rabbit hole of information. And then by the way, Pete's podcast is doing great. Yeah. And he's a wonderful guy. Like, like you, a good heart and equal parts, a disruptor and sweetheart. We love you, Pete. I love you, Pete. I love you, Pete. Love you. Karate P. Um, and then turpentine is a movie I did with the brilliant Craig Zobel. It stars Melissa McCarthy and, uh, hopefully that'll be out next year. Kind of a crime crime film, dark crime film with some comedy, not unlike, uh, a simple plan with Bill Paxton. It's got kind of vibes of that in Fargo. Well, hopefully I see you at the Netflix party tonight. So I can look over your shoulder and be like, Oh my God, Tommy Pete card. Davidson just walked in. I'll see you at the Netflix party. I'll be the underdressed one. Who's ripping, uh, sports cards in the background. I think I'm literally going to bring in sports cards just so I have something to do in case nobody talks to me. God bless. All right. I'll bring an alcohol. I love you, buddy. Love you. Oh, that was fun, man. This episode was brought to you by the machine. 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