# 727 - Too $hort on Why “Blow the Whistle” Never Goes Away

I've never seen a Toyota Land Cruiser without going T.O. Yoda Land Cruiser, there you go, Tuzza. Find this ho-in site, run my game tight. My nose in the club showed up, shaking that ass. So I'll circle the quit, click fucking swabs at shit. Guys, there's a brand new project over here at Birdie Boy. And this one is right up my alley. You know, I talked incessantly about listening to podcasts. Why I fall asleep. That is how I go to sleep. It's how I stay asleep. So we made one. It's called Dream Seed and I cannot wait to fall asleep to it. And I can't wait for you to fall asleep to it. Now, I'm sure you're thinking, Bert, your voice is not so soothing. How am I supposed to fall asleep to you giggling and laughing? Well, you're not going to someone else narrates it, but I love it. And it's everything I love history mixed with crazy dreams, no ad breaks in the middle of the story, facts that might be a little inaccurate, but it all feels great because it's in your dreams. So if you love falling asleep to historical stories and then finding yourself in the middle of the action while you're lulled to sleep by not my voice, then you're going to love Dream Seed. Check it out on YouTube or wherever you listen to your podcasts, Dream Seed. Good night. I've seen this stuff before. He tries to be funny. Well, he wasn't really trying to be funny. He's trying to do it like an interview. Oh, for real? He was cool. He was a little bit of silly, but not a lot. I think if funny shows up is like in a podcast, like, well, I've been on podcasts with it. Like they've written jokes and it's painful. You're just sitting there the whole time like something like this for me is a dream come true. I've been a fan of yours. I can't tell you how I'm 53 and I'm singing. I'm singing all your songs verbatim in the car of my wife today. And it's so fucking, don't fight the feeling. I'm singing. I have never really, when I was first saying that song, I was must have been like 16, maybe 16, 16, 16, so I was driving. It's all about the system in the car, buddy. I put, I put a, I put bass in my car. I cut it. I had a Volkswagen Fox. I bought the speakers myself for like $700 with a ton of money back then. Yeah, yeah. And I, and I, I cut with a jigsaw. I cut out the metal in the back and I drilled them into the back. I put them in and I, the first album I played was yours. Well, that's what I make it for literally back in a day. I was, it was, it was the music was aimed for the person in the car with the woofers. Can I, can I give you a compliment that I hope you please take as a compliment? As I listen to the new album, it's awesome. I love who you have on. I love your guest starings. I love to know the product. She's incredible. I love you and her together. I love Lil Jon. Everyone's loves Lil Jon. E 40 is, I mean, we've got to talk about E 40 in a second. I want to, I want, I want to tell you how I discovered him. But I want it because did you know him growing up that growing up? But like, you know, as young rappers, we've been knowing each other since and when did you start rapping? I first grabbed a microphone in 1980 and about two years later, I had a rap partner. 1982, we used to go all over Oakland, selling tapes. And we did that for like about three years. We're pretty, pretty popular. Who's your rap partner? His name was Freddie B. Still around him. He didn't do the rap career like I did, but he kept rapping. And he put out some stuff. He did some stuff. He's on the two short out on the two over the years. And you know, I just, the way we got separated just from being young and still happening in the streets. I want to be a rapper and he, you know, I think right now he's like a, he's like a preacher now. No, the preacher, Deacon, the minister, he's there. He's fully immersed in the church. Really? And he's good at what he does. How many people, how many people did you start with when you, because I only said this from comedy and playing baseball. He's like, there's people I started with. There's people I started with when we played baseball that I knew was going to go pro and they went pro. And there's people that when we started comedy that I was like, I'll tell you right now. And I hope this comes off as a compliment and not a slight, he's on your album, God free. Oh, yeah. One of my favorite songs. Not can't sing it. Call me, he goes, dude, you can sing it. Please, he goes, I sing it all the time when my boys in the car. It's not a problem. But the day I saw God free, I said that guy is going to be the biggest movie star in the world. He is gorgeous, he is smart, he is smart as fuck. You want to support us guys? I know he is charismatic, he is hysterical. That guy can write a brand new hour every night. If you want him to, he's someone who I should try for residents here. Well, yeah, did you meet God free? I just know his work. I follow his various different things he does on Instagram. He's got like quite quite a few. Yeah. And he's just that intellectual comedy, you know, of the Dave Chappelle sort, just the smart comedy. Yeah. And I've been knowing about him for years. And he's just one of those comedians that the joke makes sense to joke is relevant. The joke is, is thoughtful, you know? Well, you know, you know, his parents are like, to, I don't know. Oh, I don't want to blow up God free spot because I used to call him by his full name. I bring him on stage. Tell me off here. No, no, no, I'm going to blow up his spot. I want the views just like God free does. God free's parents are like, are like high level, doctorate professors. Okay. So and he's from, he's from his family's from, I think Nigeria, and they came over to Chicago and his parents got like high level at like the best schools teaching in Chicago. So when they raise God free, God free is raised just like Chappelle around intellectuals. And his information is, it runs deep, and he's deep as the facts that, the facts that he spews out. It's just like, how do you know all that? Like, he'll be, he'll be in full comedy mode, you know, running it down. And then he'll do all this actual factual stuff. I might argue he's just smart for comedy. If he was just a little drummer for that song, it was missing the song without him was missing hitting the mark of what it really meant. And I sat down with him and explained to him the point I was trying to bring across. It's in the song, the parts of it are missing. And as we played it for people, they were walking away with sometimes with the wrong, the wrong idea. But tell everyone, because we're, we're dancing around it. Tell everyone what the song is. The song, I'll say it. The name of the song, no kidding. The song is called Five Little Words. And the Five Little Words is N-I-G-G-A. And for years and years and years amongst me and some of my friends, we just freely throw the word around. No, these friends fall black. Yeah, in reference to anybody. It's not like a black thing. It's like, that's what we just say. And I'm sure some non-black people have been around their black friends and have been called the N word very casually and just fly by it and just keeps going. It's the funnest thing in the world. And if you get called the N word by a black guy, you're like, oh shit. And I made a song about it. And in the song, I'm saying, if you ever dare say the word, never use the R, don't use the R. And that's the, that was the first name of the song was, don't say the R. And it came back as, okay, you told me I could say it if I don't say the R. And they're like, you're not being specific enough. So I explain this to Godfrey. And then he comes in, we talk about it for a while, we film some of the conversation and stuff. And just like I know it, he was going to say the thing that put the glue together. And he just brought us to the table and just to sit down with him, you know, from meeting the minds and stuff was a good experience. I mean, you're, you are, you have a very interesting career in that you've lasted, you've, you've lasted in a business that flips over artists very quickly. Oh, yeah. And you've, and, but you also have the moniker of a pioneer, which, I mean, not, not a lot of pioneers are still around. I mean, and you started with a couple pioneers who still to this day are, are great guys, but they're artistically, they don't, they just didn't have the lasting power. The, the longevity is, you go with cream, whatever it is, coffee. I usually drink my coffee, but let's see where it goes. Oh, here, grab a my hot coffee. No, no, no, no, it's too late in the day. Okay. It's 177 degrees outside. Yeah, it is 177 degrees. We want anything hot except chicks. Oh, we're going to talk about women. I think the longevity is something that, this has a few ingredients. And, you know, a lot of people, a lot of great artists didn't have longevity because they didn't want to. They got to a point where they're like, I don't want to push this any farther. I don't want to make anything that's not as great. And they just, you know, they just decided to let it go and do other things in life. When you get, being famous, when you get up there, you got options. Yeah. You got options on what to invest in or options on what to partner up with or just another way, another way to make a money. So sometimes that's what it is. Other times it's just purely, you just, you just ran your course. And, and whatever you're doing now, they don't like it anymore. I'm a music guy. So it didn't matter to me. I never, I was playing with house money from the start. I love what I'm doing. So if I'm a comedian, I'm the guy who's funny as fuck, who never even pressed to have an agent or to be in Hollywood's graces. not just plenty of fucking, I just go for every. hit the road and be funny as fuck. So I'm just, I'm too sure, man. And I'm like, at some point, like 20 years into my career, I make this song blow to whistle. What is, that is so, so I want to say this for people that I think there's a lot of people that are familiar with music and don't realize your career. 'Cause in, in 1988 is when life is too short, came out. And that is, for me, that is your, your seminal classic. Like life is. - That's my biggest talent album. - Dunin, dunin, dunin. - That's the only one that's double-played. - Dunin, dunin, dunin, dunin, dunin, dunin. Life is, I mean, that album, that album set the standard. And then what I think, and I'll speak a little bit to why I love you, is you've, you've never stepped away from what makes you you. You have a signature voice. Your voice is so off, it's like he 40s. Like it's like, like there's a few voices in hip hop, two-park out one of those voices. - Your name and all Bay Area people. - I know, right? - It's a Bay thing. Is it a Bay Area thing? - Yeah, 'cause hip hop, when we came out was all about being unique. And the Bay was extremely about being unique. And, you know, we just all tried to add to this, this big picture of what Bay Music is. And we spent years and, you know, hundreds of songs, just trying to outdo each other in a slick way. And, you know, E 40 coming with a slick saying and the summer anthem. And I got to turn around and make one too. You know, it was just, it was going on like that in the Bay that we all would compete to have whatever the biggest local song is. You can have your song go anywhere in the world. But if you got the biggest local song for a few months, then you like one of the guys. Man, it's like a fraternity of who had, who had to have his join out. So, in order to get that slot, you got to do something very creative for the Bay fans. It's got to be something so cool, so something, something like in this weird, the different types of songs that get that love locally in the Bay. But I think just being in that arena of competition, it's just great for a Bay Area artist. And, you know, I always like to relate things to people who can understand it. It's just like there's a comedy club out there somewhere where everybody's fucking funny. Everybody comes to that motherfucker's funny because it just breeds funny. - Well, San Francisco's cops. - I know that. I remember the San Francisco comedy competition. - Yeah, the comedy competition was out there too. - You went that shit and then you were a big star and then they had the other version of the black comedy competition. You went that motherfucker, you're Jamie Foxx, Mark Curry, you know. - Yeah. - It just happens. The Bay is the Bay, man. Of all of your major cities around the world, you know, San Francisco is an international destination. It's a city that's known all over the world. But San Francisco really is the Bay Area. And if you just put collectively the all the surrounding cities what we call the Bay Area, it's an amazing place. It's an amazing place to be whoever you wanna be. You wanna be a movie maker, you wanna be funny, you wanna be musical, you wanna sing, you wanna rap, you wanna do, you wanna be an athlete, the Bay is just a great place to call him. You know those days where you just wanna check out for a little while, we've had a long week, you're finally home, you're ready to relax. And then you realize you're completely out of your stash. It's the worst. All of a sudden you get back to the car, you get in, you drive to a smoke shop, hope that they have what you want, stand in line, it completely kills the vibe. Thankfully we don't have to do that anymore. That's why I use everything for 20.com. 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And if you haven't tried them yet, check out Magic Spoon's treats, a high protein low sugar take on the cereal bars you grew up with. You can get $5 off your next order at Magic Spoon.com/pert. That's Magic Spoon.com/pert for $5 off. When I moved to New York, I remember noticing that the hip hop I listened to out of New York was often because you're in subways or walking out streets, often in headsets. And it wasn't like, I grew up in Florida. - We'd do the same thing to your car with the cut out woofers, yeah. - And like there was no like, like we were real base, heaviest kids. That to me would be all about environment. And in order for me, I can't really say this from a factual place, but I know that in order to be on a train in New York, trying to get the wherever the fuck you're going to, you gotta enjoy your music, you gotta block the world out. - Yeah. - A radio, you know, you're not in the car 'cause the streets are too congested. You gotta take the train, it's the smartest thing to do. And you just like, leave me the fuck alone and you put your headphones on. And then if you're the person that's making music that New Yorkers love, you gotta know, it needs to sound good in these headphones. - Yeah, right, you know what I'm saying? I had an audience of people who were guys who had cars with woofers in the trunk. And they went all over all down south, all through the Midwest, all over the West Coast. And I literally focus on that fan. I'm like, if the guy with the loud stereo loves too short and plays it in his car, everywhere he goes, everybody hears too short. - Yes. - You know, as opposed to, I'm one guy in my headphones. I'm not saying I was doing something better in New York, I'm just saying this is what I was doing. - It's your sound. - You're marketing your music by making music for the trunk. - I got songs called In The Truck. - Yeah, you know, I talk about it all the time. I'm like, you know, in the song In The Truck, I say, "Why you in the studio, I'm in the trunk." And I'm all I'm saying is, you know, all of you guys, you know, all your rappers could rap better than me 'cause rappers, we always have to claim to be the best. And I'm like, "All you guys can rap better than me, but why you on the mic and doing all that in freestyle, cypheres and all this stuff?" And I'm not just talking to the East Coast, I'm talking to every rapper, period. I'm in the trunk. - I always thought In The Truck was about, 'cause you were like selling out of your trunk. - I mean, it's a double entendre. - It gives you the visual of that. I made songs also to where I would make sure that you got a visual. - Oh, I got visuals. - Even though I-- - Oh man. - Even though I didn't shoot the video. - You are with, 'cause I'm a storytelling comic, right? You are one of the best storytellers that's ever done hip hop. You are the best storyteller. Like you would, you would, the only thing, the only one that's even close to you a storyteller, in my opinion, is DMX. - So I'm gonna say this, 'cause that, I disagree with you. And I think that hip hop has quite a few great storytellers. - Nupesco storyteller. And I think that of all the storytellers, I'm up in the top rankings of the ones who can make you laugh and can really, you know, just like shock you with the story a little bit, like, oh my God, blow job at it. He said, he shot some sperm in her throat and she died. She choked on it. Like, you know, just the, not just the words impact you, but then when you finish listening to it, you go, damn, he came in her mouth and she died. She choked on the sperm, like, it sticks with you. Like, when I said, um, Nancy Reagan sucked my dick like cornered the cop, like, you can't just grab that as the next line comes after that. You got to go back and go, fuck, Nancy Reagan was on two short dick like it was going on the cop. You know, did you know she was the throat goat back then? I know that, um, I tap into the universal knowledge. Yeah. And I don't know why that came to me, but I later, um, saw the pictures and she got a long, fucking neck. And those long necks, those long necks, they live up to it. I so badly wanted to introduce my wife to you is Yoho Camira and then she goes, don't call me that, go bitch. Only today, most of us comics are huge hip-hop fans. Very few of us are my age where they know everyone. And you are probably the one we get most excited about. And I wonder if it's because you tied comedy to, you had so much levity in your music as well. Yeah, it's funny. I sound like I'm invasion of the flat booty bitches. You know, it's like, it goes on and on. And freaky tells is a pretty funny song. Yeah. It tells the story of these, you know, 40-something women that I had encounters with. And it just, it'll make you laugh, man. I did it all. I think that when I was, so when I was writing these songs to be very explicit intentionally, I was like, logically, you can say this rude ass shit. But then you got to say something that's a compliment. You got to say something funny. You got to just be all over the place and not just be like, you know, there's an artist named Blowfly. His shit is just ex-rated. Blowfly was fucking ex-rated, also comedy records, but just ex-rated, like fucking to the max, like truck driver, trucker music, you know? Really? But he's rapping, he's got the band, and it's funky, but his fucking subject is just like fucking up. You know, I asked down your throat, just it's just all sexual nasty. I was influenced by Blowfly. He had some records out when I was a young artist. And I was like, we're gonna talk that shit like Blowfly. Yeah. And, you know, if you never list a Blowfly record, you should go list a song like "Rap Dirty." Is that stuff ever happened in the bedroom where you went? Oh, it's gonna fit in great. And is there ever been anything that happened in the bedroom that you can't rap about? (laughs) Don't do anything personal in my songs. I really don't like, wait, hold on. You're not the most sexual man alive. Too short has nothing on me. Too short has my own manner compared to me. Really? Like literally like that. I write too short in a very safe place and a, you know, Pimp Player, you know, the sex OG, whatever you would have called it. It's just, no, mine is different, man. If I put my real life into, if I put the real sexual, really, truly was in my mind how I do this in a rap song, it wouldn't be good. It wouldn't be good for our career. Really? You know, it's too calculated and too. It's too, you got to experience it. 'Cause it's too honest. You just, I can't rap about it because then it wouldn't be the thing that it is. Really? So my two short persona is a character that I, you know, I could have wrote books about too short. I've been, you know, the character too short. So when did you make movies? Wendy, 'cause I feel like when I first met you, he was backstage at the forum for Tom Show. And the first thing I said was Taj Shah. 'Cause that's how I know it. - Yeah, let me know, yeah. - And I was like, Taj Shah, and you were like, and you said, my name back to me, and I lost my fucking mind. I was like, you know who I am? He was like, you were like, yeah. And I was like, oh my God. But, so, like, who's Taj Shah as a kid? Like, and then how do you turn into, how do you get too short? And where does that come from? Where do you witness it? I'm just fascinated because-- - Everything that too short brought me in life, I was going to figure out a way to get to it. I was determined to be in the presence of the most beautiful women as I was living this, you know, fabulous life of like, you know, nice cars and being with the coolest people. And just, I was like, I can do this through academics. I can do this any kind of way. - Really? - I've even studied, which is why it comes off so good in the songs. I really studied, studied Pimping because I liked the way the Pimps look. And I was like, I could probably pull this off. And I've got all the little steps how to do it. And I'm like, this is something I could do. - Pimping's a lost art form. - It continues. - Does it? I mean, like, I feel like when I was a kid, you'd hear about Pimping. It continues. There are some very eloquent speaking young men and women who know how to explain the people, the value of sex sales and period. Like, it sells in so many ways now. It's not just some street corner shit, so. - Dude, I was thinking last night we watched Best Little Horror House in Texas. 'Cause you got the gift of gab, man, it's still valuable. - Well, there's guys who run only fans' houses. - Yeah. - And they put, and they run the house. And they have only fan models in there. And these guys promote those girls. And then they get, I think Tom and I tried to pimpe a whole one time. - I just heard of the newest Pimping ever. - What? - I'm like, I would have never thought of that. - Guy is Pimping Bottle Service Chicks. Like these bitches bring home one, two, three thousand and nine tips. Cash it in. - Are you serious? - Okay. Think about it. Part of Pimping is money management. - Yeah. - And just saying, can you imagine what you get every day? What if four of us got that every day? What kind of life could we live? And you know, a lot of people individually make money in those type of ways and don't manage it really good. Pimping is, did you notice a correlation with producing record producers? Record? - I saw those bad stories. - Record managers? I mean, 'cause I feel like - Trying to pip on the singing chicks, what do you mean? - No, no, no, like I feel a correlation and in comedy managers, comedy agents, comedy producers. - It's Pimping Who? - They're Pimping Us. Is they go, oh, like you don't realize you could get the deal on your own. They kind of do the thing, like let me introduce you to this guy. You could have met the guy. You could have cut out this 10%. But then you got Pimped, movie producers Pimped things. - Yeah, just, it depends on the dynamics of how it's going over time. Like, who's really generating the money? - Yeah. - And do you want that person to facilitate the business part of it? Or, you know, what do you wanna handle it yourself? And, you know, you might just give up, you might have a manager or somebody to you. You send all the money to the same analyst for me. Or, you might have a manager who says college is that, got us another gig, got us another gig. It's all the same shit, but. - It's all the same shit, kind of. - 10% name Pimping, that's management. 100% is Pimping. So, tell me about your Pimped story. You and Tom, the day you guys almost became Pimps. - We're trying to Pimp this ho. (laughing) - Good start. - We wanted to, I'll tell you the whole story for real. We wanted to create an online persona from top to bottom. We didn't do it because it got, I don't know, it's, I'm glad we didn't. But an online persona top to bottom of a girl who's an only fans model, who would communicate with fans. But we wanted to create all of it. We wanted to say that we found her in the jungles of Brazil, and she, and we wanted to create it all, shot in the jungle on a crappy phone, so that people felt this authentic connection to this story, the story is what they were gonna buy into. And, and it just got too complicated. And it wasn't like, it wasn't. It's, we've had so many ideas that we've, we tried to start two bear sports management. We tried to start a race team. And all of them that they're not directly aligned with comedy for us, then we lose interest. But it was, that only fans think it was backfire on you. - Yeah, we just make it so real, they're like, you guys under arrest. - Yeah, we were like, because you make only fans money through the interactions. - Think about the basic part of it. You go to Brazil, you bring some chick back, you put it online to get money. You're 20 years, bro? No, no, no, no, no. - Human trafficking. - We were gonna get an actress. We were gonna create the whole story. We were gonna get an actress. We were gonna shoot it like it was in Brazil. - Okay, I thought you'd tell my real people. - No, no, no, no. It's always gonna be. - I'm like, you just described it crime, bro. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We had a bunch of baby oil. - She's an actress. - No, we were gonna create this, create it all online. Get someone that had an only fans that wasn't working and then say, all right, here's your character. You're gonna do this. And then people feel like we discovered her. And it would be authentically fascinating 'cause they thought it was the stories what they'd follow. It was my idea. I have a lot of big ideas. - Okay, I like it. - Yeah, I thought it would be-- - I like, well, as soon as you said actress, I'm like, okay, cool. - Yeah, it was an actor. - I was scared for you for a minute. - No, no, no. It was gonna be an actress. And then we would always make it feel like, how did you see this? - I think it's something in there if you get to the funny. - Yeah, it was always gonna be in her reactions with the guys and Tom and I would write her reactions back. So we would be communicating with the fans who would be. And I think-- - Sure, I'm sure it has a comedy checker too out there that it has only fans. - There are. - Like, it's as funny as fuck because she still gets down. - I don't never, like, I never understood the pushback people give about only fans. Like, I always go, I was a chicken, I have only fans. - I don't hang around to push back people. I haven't heard it. (laughing) - I haven't heard any pushback in my circles. - That's a fucking t-shirt. I don't hang around pushback people. (laughing) - I don't know who they are. - Do you have ever been married? - Never been married, really. Never been married. - I've approached it but never jumped a broom. - Really? Jumped a broom, that was a movie. - About getting married, is that what jump in the broom is? - Yeah, as soon as you jumped a broom it's like, I think that's like an old slave but wedding or something. - Oh wow. - And when they say, I do, when you finally commit, whatever the last thing you say, you jumped a broom and that's the commitment. - Oh wow, I didn't know that. - Jumped a broom, man, Google. (laughing) - Somebody Google it, tell me what it says. - So what, I kind of want to go through all, 'cause I've only been with white chicks. - White? - That's it. - Chicks? - That's it. - Okay. - I'm never in room with anything other. - Well, you know, you're married guys, I can't really entice you. - Yeah, no, but I'm curious. - You do want to know. - In your experience. - What do you, what do you notice different in the different ethnicities? Like who taught you? - I'm all the ethnicities. - Before I say anything typical or stereotypical, I'm gonna say that of all the races I've endorsed and they all have quality to offer and trash. - Oh yeah. - There's a high low in everything. There's no superior being that is magically, all of them are better than all of these others. There's no such thing as that. - So, I say that to say that I've been up and down the spectrum of good and bad. - I don't know if you've been online, but it seems like there's a lot of loss in this world. 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Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch, delivering instant energy, mental clarity, and boosted mood without nicotine sugar or calories. New customers can use code, birdcats get 15% off at takeultra.com. That's takeultra.com for 15% off with code birdcats. After you purchase, they're gonna ask where you heard about them, please support our show and tell them our show sent you. - Is there any ethnicity you haven't dabbled in yet? - I mean, I'm just thinking Latino, Asian, Black, White. - And like Indian from India, that's Asian. - Yeah. - Have you had Indian from Asia, Indian? - Of course. - Really? - That's something I would have liked. (laughing) - Yep, I've had that in different flavors too, 'cause it's not one of flavor, different flavors. - Yeah, oh yeah. - And come lighter, darker, different type of shapes. - Do you ever had sex with a woman in a burka? - No, that's what the Indians wear. - No, that's the, that's the, the-- - Oh no, no, I haven't gone there. - Aborigini. I'm just going through my porn Google, sir. - You talking about Australia, back? - Yeah. - Yeah. - I have had a little bit of that, yeah. I've had a little bit. But I tell you, just off the top, and this is not, and this is, don't take this as stereotype across the board. - Okay. - Just generalizing in like the feeling you get. So Asian girls, my metaphor for them is, after you've finished having sex, without just saying anything, she's gonna come back in the room with a really hot towel and rest it on your dick and your balls, and just like steam it, and massage it, and just like do a little dick worship on you. And it's just a thing they do. Nobody else will do it. And you know, Spanish girls kind of get out of their body, and they just, they just give you this experience that you like, I've never seen a body, gonna do things like that. And it's just like magical, and like the level of freaky you can go to. - Yeah. - And white girls, they like, king of the queens of the sloppy topi, you know, the super sloppy topi with the cleaning it up, just, you know, all that stuff. And you know, you're like having a good time and she just blurs out, come on my face. You know that type of shit, and black girls, they got this little sweet little peach. And it's just, you know, it's just, it has this magic in it. It kind of, kind of dick-whip she, you know, it's a pussy whip, you know? And they fucking, I don't know, man, it just, each of each race has something great to offer. And those, oh my God, I can't even really speak on Indian girls from India. They have this, 'cause you know that it's so fucking beautiful. - Yeah. - And it's hard to like just make love to them, but I'll just pop in your eyes out your head. So, you know, I mean, get a haul pass, bro. - We officially have our clip for this one, guys. - Get off the internet, get a haul pass. But you can't run these like stereo types. These are nice stereo types. - No, they're not stereo types, but that's essence. - That's not matter of fact, that's like, that's the kind of essence. since you get the beauty, the nurturing, the athleticism, and the go-getter spark, just different things. How were you when you lost your virginity? Well, I was 14, but it didn't really count. Me either, but I'm curious why yours didn't count. Because it didn't really go down. It was very quick and very inexperienced, and I totally wrote it off as not the first. That's not the real one. You could just say, "Hey, when's the first time you stuck it in?" "I can't win inside, but that's all that happened." About a year later, I tried again, and it was the same results. The flop-in action literally struck out. You struck out when you don't get it, I got it and struck out. Another year passed, and I was giving some information that, "Hey, shit kind of felt good, but you don't know what the fuck you're doing. I'm like, "What the fuck should I be doing?" And I started getting some instructions, and I learned how to swim, ride a bike, learn how to fuck. You have no idea. I would have loved that song that would have made me so much feel so much better about myself. If I made a song about that when I was 17, when I was 17 listening to your music, I would have been like, "Oh, thank God," three-pump-chomp, "Hey, but I think we all have to figure out how. If you're lucky, you find somebody who wants to experiment with you, or you know, my greatest excel in the sex world was probably, I had a girlfriend who taught me how to do it, and my next girlfriend, we tried to learn together. We weren't virgins." That's so interesting to hear from you, because as the artist that I know, as too short, you always just think, you're always in control. You're always doing everything right. And so when I hear this from you, I go like, "Oh, I feel like I'm talking to Todd," you know? Yeah. I went to fuck school, man. I really had good teachers. They taught me well. I was like, "I learned this thing. I'm like, and I'm so glad it happened when it happened, because throughout my life, to this day, I will still say, tell me how to make love to you, like, tell me how." And then, "Wow. I take all the things that I know and mix it in with the information I was just given, and I, you know, was good. It was not. You just communicate." But I wouldn't have known that if I came out the gate banging it. Yeah. I'd been a hump, or like, just a hump, but I had to, I had to humble myself and I was told by my girlfriend when I was 16, like, she's like, "It feels good, but you're just not doing it right." So, when I said, "Joyle me how to do it," well, you know, well, next girlfriend, we watched a lot of porn, and we would not watch porn to get turned on. We watched the porn, and we'd be like, "Okay, do it. I do it. He do what she did." And we'd just do it. We'd like them and we came with our own style. So, after those two, I was like, "I think I'm ready. Let me go out and try this on somebody." I'm done doing it to my pillow. Let's try it out on a person. I graduated, and I went out and I tried it on other chicks and I'm like, "You're fucking good." I'm like, "You know, I figured out God, I love this side of the artist because so often, especially with hip hop, I did an interview with Terrell Owens one time from played up in San Francisco, and Tio, and Tio, we were talking about how long sex should last. And Tio, just Kazoo, was like, "I'm in there for like three minutes," and everyone was blown away, and he was like, "What?" and he was like, "I'm being honest. I can go longer, but we're doing it." And it was so candid that I felt like all of a sudden we became friends. Yeah, that's a little short-winded for me. A little short-winded, but I could not have dreamed of a better sex conversation with you than I did. I just want me in the world just told me about a year ago, more than six minutes, and she's tapping out. I'm like, "Damn, she's six minutes," and she said, "Oh, she never gave anybody." Really? She didn't give me none, but I'm just saying. I'm like, "You would think somebody would just want to just bathe in you, and she's like, "Nope, you get six minutes." Holy shit. And she said, "Get out." Hyper-productive. I wouldn't even want to do it to her. Yeah. If all you get is six minutes, that would be like torture. Six minutes for the most beautiful woman in the world. She said, "You can have another six minutes and about an hour." Yeah. It's like Kelly Slater's wave pool. You can have six minutes off on an on-day, but you can't get more than that. So let's talk about the money of hip-hop, because I'm fascinated because you went out of the trunk, you went into the label, and then you've seen where money showed up. One of the, I would really only like one of probably 20 people, less than that, that are still around, that have experienced, because the new album came out July 31st, and now albums are totally everything streaming. But like, talk me through the very beginning of selling it out of your trunk. Because like, to be specific, we used to make comedy albums on our computers for ourselves. We would print them. We would send them to a place, we'd print them out, the CDs, and we'd sell them for ten dollars a CD at the shows. Yeah. So I identified with the out of the trunk thing, and counting the money, and being pumped for like, what good sales were. It's the exact same hustle. You probably would never spend more than a dollar per CD at the most back then, and you make ten, nine dollar profit. That's how I started. My first taste of being an entrepreneur was going to Radio Shack. And Radio Shack sold three cassette tapes, a three pack for $1.99. There were 30 minute tapes, 15 on each side, and we would record 30 minutes worth of us just fucking around on the microphone, and that would cost you five bucks. So every two dollars, we got a $15, we got a $13 profit in 1982. Pretty good for some high school kids, just wanting to have pocket money. And we'd go out and sell like 15 of those in a day and just be feeling good about the money in your pocket. And we also used to sell them custom made tapes. So we customized a song for the person who bought it, and they give us 20 bucks. So we had all these different various hustles on how to, what would that look like? So like, your buddy would be like, you know, can you make a tape just for me about me? Yeah. And it's just, what kind of car you drive, where you from, who you hang out with, just whatever. So that he could play it and be like, he's talking about me. It's like, burst the motherfucking man, bitch, can't fuck with him, is this kind of car yet? I have a Mercedes. You saw it as well. No, what kind of car you had? No, a Volkswagen Fox. You can't fuck with him and his Volkswagen Fox bitch, you know, that'll be your song. And then, so those costs more and so then you went from that to, then I got into a label, I got what a label cost 75 girls records. Never did any agreements with them, no paperwork. It was just, they put out three albums, just family connections, just, you know, back then you would probably probably would say, you ain't signed a contract, but right now I'm like, that's the best thing to run inside a contract. And I literally learned how to run an independent label. So at this label, 75 girls records, they were selling cassettes and they were selling wax. And each of those you would get wax for everyone who's right now, which is a real vinyl vinyl. And why they call it wax, I guess because at some point it was wax or something or the way they make it or something. You know, we got this all this AI shit now, ex, ex Google somebody, why do they call vinyl wax? Siri, why did they call vinyl wax records? It has a waxy texture. Jesus Christ. It's a nickname term wax comes in fact the surface of vinyl record has a wacky, wacky texture. And the manufacturing process vinyl material is heated and molded into a shape. For a million dollars, if you gave me, if you gave me 10 million dollars and all of the resources around, I could not figure out how to make music and put it onto a vinyl so that it would play. Like the idea that that little thing would make the music collectively one of us go figure it out. I mean, you know what I mean? Like that little, that little needle would hit the grooves. and make the music, it would make all the noises. Now I got a thumb drive with 40,000 songs on it, a size of my thumb. - I mean, so I'm going, I'm sorry. - So 75 girls was, we're recording professionally. We get all the stuff done professionally. - You're how old, 18? - I'm 18 now, yeah, fresh out of high school. - And you're walking in and you're an entrepreneur already at this point. - So you're walking in and they're thinking they got some kid off the street who can rap and you're looking at all the things going. Hold on. - I mostly focused on being a student. I was around professional musicians. We were working at professional studios. The guy who owned the label is like a mom and pop operation, family ran it, you know, with no outsiders. And he was showing me how he was doing it from the studio to the manufacturer, to the distributor, to the bank. He was just showing me how it goes, what the numbers are, where you got to go. And, you know, I'm just in the passenger seat, riding, checking out the operation. And I was with that label for the years of '19, the end of '85, '86, and like the beginning, well, I guess like the beginning of '87, whatever, somewhere in there, about a two year period. And, at some point, like in 1986, the owner of the label had to go to jail for like, not quite a year, 10 or 11 months. And during that time, his little brother and me, we held the business down of the label. So, all the time I had been watching what he was doing, we actually had to do it ourselves for a while. And the money was essential. We had put out a two short album and it was making money. And the money was used to help keep the family afloat. You know, like keep the business going. So, we held it down. And I just learned a lot. When he got out of jail, he expressed to me, his little brother and everybody else involved that he wasn't really fucko, that's no more. And, you know, we could just kick rocks. And, you know, he just stopped. So, immediately, we like, we've seen all the money come in last two years. We like, let's just fucking do what he was doing. Start a new company, all the legitimate business shit, knowledge shit, and go around and find somebody to invest in us and never look back. I put out, that's what I put out freaky tells. Really. So, freaky tells, I had a, I had a plan on paper. I'm going around to drug dealers. And I'm like, if you give me $2,000, I could flip this shit all the way up to endless amounts. And I'd show them on paper how we would get it to 10 and then get the 10 to 50, whatever, you know? And then I say, we could do it a lot faster if you gave me five grand or if you gave me 10 grand. And either way it goes, it's going to happen a lot faster. Because you already have the business model of how to sell records. From 75 girls. And I'm like, I would just take the 10,000. We're going to record an album. Back then, we can make an album for like two grand or some shit, like it was nothing. And we're going to use all the rest of the money to press up cassettes. It's some underground shit. We don't got to promote it, nothing. So as we put this shit out, it's going to sell like hacking. - This house is filled with wayfar stuff. It's so funny, I watch my wife go through and picks stuff out. And now as I sit in the bathroom, I go, "Whoa, that Chester drawers or whatever, "it's called the thing that keeps holds all the towels." That's from Wayfar. Wayfar helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value and trusted reviews. Wayfar verified products are embedded by product specialists using a 10 point quality inspection. Shop thousands of products across every style and budget, whether you're trying to refresh your space for fall or transform your space for Halloween, use filters, customer photos, and reviews to find the right fit for your home. 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Hims.com/burtcast feature products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required individual results may vary, see website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. - Now underground, when you say underground, I'm sorry, I'm so fast. - No help from radio. - And you're legit selling it out of the back of a trunk? - Yeah, no major label at a club. Like at a club at a park. - Well, the trunk thing is more like, we had boxes of cassettes and records in the back of like a whatever car we were in that day. And we were taking those to distributors. So if we took them to the distributor, the main one was like a company called City Hall, out in the Bay Area, and they would ship it out to record stores. But then it would be like, you know, kind of certain record stores that would like, just bring it to be direct. So I'd pull up to a record store and we'd be walking that motherfucker with a box. And like, you know, just drop it off and say, call me when they sell. And they'd just be calling right back a few days later, like we sold out, bring some more. And we were on the route, just dropping off fucking boxes. We couldn't, we couldn't get them manufactured fast enough. We kept like selling out and having a sweat to fucking manufacture to get us another batch. The first time, so what I did was, I said, let's put up this song, "Freaky Tills." We only gonna put it on a cassette, no wax, just cassette only. We're gonna press up, you know, a few thousand cassettes. And when no cell, we're gonna take that money and invest it all in cassettes. When no cell, we're gonna invest it all in cassettes. And then finally, when we get to $15,000, we're gonna put out the album. The album is gonna cost us under $1 to package it and get it ready for shelves. And then we're gonna sell it to the distributor for $5. So every dollar makes you a $4 profit. And I said, when we get to $15,000, we're gonna take $15,000 and press up the whole album. The singles were only doubling the money. We were selling it for like $2.99 or something like that. We weren't really making a big profit. So I'm like, let's just get up to $15,000, fuck the single. Now we're gonna start selling the album. The song that's on the single is gonna be on the album. And the first batch was $15,000. And we had like 60 grand in seven days. I'm like, let's spend the whole 60, let's go. And we just fucking flipped that shit and somewhere down the line, Jive Rickers got wind of it. And they were like, you guys wanna be on a label with national distribution? We probably had like, we had some hundreds of thousands in the bank. It was crazy 'cause you think you would get the money and just have fun. We literally, this is all my doing. We literally like, everybody who was involved got a little salary. My mind was 2000 a month. So we got a bank account where we just made $3,400,000. And I'm like, I get $2,000 a month. The money just sits in the bank and the company's rich. So let's say we got to go somewhere and do something. The company like pay for the shit. Like, you know, it like, bro, I want a new car. Company buy me a car. You know what I mean? - Yeah. - And just shit like that. I wasn't really like trying to fuck all the money off in real time. So that, we just never turned back. From that, it was never look back. Never, ever look back on not making money off music. Not being broke. No struggle. We just, we live on that foundation right now today. This is so fascinating to me. What were your, what were your parents like? Were they entrepreneurs? My both my parents were accountants and both had accounting degrees, they they did it in life, you know, I was I lived in the hood, but you know, we didn't we didn't have the The story of To struggle my parents always brought it home. They always they know and they taught you raised you with money, right? They just I can't really say it was a money environment, but they just were good examples. Yeah, if you put if you put the work in it, you will be rewarded. No, what are your parents saying when you're 18, you're making 60 grand on a on an hour, are they are they paying attention to money? The money story didn't really the real money story didn't happen to us 21. Yeah, dealing with 75 girls for a few years. But no, it was a lot of disbelief in hip hop. In my house and everybody else's house, like, you're that's not what you're going to do. I'm like, I'm about to be a rapper. Like there's no such thing. You're not going to be a rapper. Like, like my father had said one, one time he just said, he said, the rappers cool. I like to music is cool. But you know, he's still got to do something, go to college, do something for the living. I'm like, okay. Wow. Cause your dad's probably I'm guessing your dad's probably my dad's age. She died so alive. He just passed this year, but he's out. He was 87 when he passed. Oh, well, he dies all of them. Yeah, my dad's 77. Yeah, I think we're you're not much older than me. Like, I was a kid. I thought you were like 30. And you were like, you were like 25 when I was, you know, you were you were busman 22 when I was 17. How old are you right now? 60? Yeah, I'm 53. Because your math is bad. You were like in middle school. And I was a grown-ass man. No, you were when I was 17, you were 25, 25. Yeah, I'm grown-ass man. I'm saying, but if you go back a few years and I'm 21, yeah, you're just a kid. Yeah, yeah. I'm making freaky tells me songs. And I still hadn't figured anyone. God, I don't know how to grown up to you. So wait, so now, so I apologize that I'm so fascinated by this, but like knowing what a career looks like in the arts. And then and then life is too short is like, though, that's like you're out of major labor, you're a jive, right? And that one comes out and that goes. Now, this is when money is still in albums. And you go from making very good money independently to all of a sudden, you have to sign a deal somewhere and then they give you all this money and then all of a sudden money has to come in. There has to be a tour. It has to overwhelm you. So things really worked out pretty good for me, because you know, in these label deals, they're shitty deals. Really? They're really shitty deals, no matter how you look at it, if you sign as an artist, it's not a really good deal. Like it's just, it's just so many things in the deal that are scammy. Yeah. And fucking, you know, just major label was just they don't play fair. So the way it worked out for me was that in that the equation of what I would get. I saw a lot of records. And so a lot of records really fast. I did like four gold albums and four platinum albums with jive records. And all doing the first part of our business dealings, like they always owe me money. Really? And then somewhere down the line, probably mid 90s somewhere, I made them give me a lot of money, which I really wish I wouldn't have did that because I like the way it was going. Yeah. And we probably should have just went back to being independent. That would have been the smartest thing, but I stayed on for the big push and the big look and the big look is fascinating. And you also think like, okay, you could have made certain decisions to play a hard ball on the money with the labels, but then they probably wouldn't have put you on that pedestal. You know, because there was there was like, there was almost like a seesaw of of if you I was told one time in this business, if you want to make money, you got to make 10 people money. So, you know, I mean, I was in the right situation right time, right place, right time. But the difference is a million records, the money that they would pay me for selling the million records. I probably could have made that as an independent selling a couple hundred thousand something, you know, like, but a million people versus 200 people. What is what's the win is the win that I got the money or is the win that I got the look, the legendary status that's a great fucking question. Because that thing that I did back then is carrying me forward right now because it touched so many people. I mean, if I was a super true businessman at, you know, state independent the whole time, I might be, you know, I might have made more money, but it wouldn't be wouldn't be as popular. There's a lot of artists that I knew listen to growing up that state independent. And then some that like, some that kind of went the commercial, but like very, very, very, very few. You are you, where I'm 53 years old, I can I quote your songs to my children, I like, there's like, get in where you fit in full. I heard you were markup at your high school. I've said we've been saying that my whole, I've been saying that since since I was 22 years old, we've been quoting that markup at the high school. I got beat up at the park. Is that a line in there too? Dude, I like, there's so many lyrics that resonate that sit with me. There's so many of your songs that that I will never like your status within hip hop is cemented forever. And that's a great question is, do you want the money? Do you or do you want the status? Do you want, because that status forever, you can make money off that status. And I've never regretted what I did because of the rewards. Yeah, this shit is, this music has touched people. It's wow, too. This is another, another wild observation that I've noticed. It's so many people, like so many people who are like, like the music got to a lot of places like colleges and people that you would never think would know too short. And it's just that audience, like you said, you quote me to the kids and stuff like the tranquil down from the audience I received is amazing. So when a song like Blow the whistle comes along years later, after this amazing career, it's just, it's just icing on the cake. It really is crazy icing on a wild cake. So, blow the whistles, blow the whistles so good. So the song never goes away. I'm 40 years into my rapper rapping career from the time I decided to be a rapper. And the shit is paying me, top dollar, like it always has. And it's just, you know, I, I could have been a really good artist, the same exact songs, hardcore fan base, and just never been the legend. It could have been the same story, same songs. Yeah. So I think, I think going out there and being with the major major label, it made it much bigger. So it's like, you know, and now after the major, I haven't been signed to a major label since January 2008. And then it starts in a whole, another phase of, of just, you know, pure independence, veteran in the game, nothing in the way of telling me when, where, how, nothing, just free to go. That's insane. What's insane to me is pure independence. And the guests you have on your albums from on every album you've released since probably 2008 are insane. I mean, I, you've, who, who haven't you had on your albums that you, I mean, we just, we do, we do collaborations based on who you bump into, who you come across with friends with. You know, people just networking it together. Maybe you reach out, they reach out, however works, it just, it just works out. I mean, who, like, is there someone? I don't know. I don't think about it like that. Really? We did this album called the Pimp Tape. It's got a lot of features on there. And it was just relationships, friendships, man. People who are around, people we knew. And the same thing right now, you know, me and Lil Jon put out some phone calls. Lil Jon's a man. We got some people on the album. We just make an album. Lil Jon's a man. Can I tell you who else is a man is, is we got to talk a little bit about E 40. I remember the day I discovered E 40. It was, I could tell you where I was standing until I last see. He was on, he did an album with MJG and April. Yeah. And I heard him. I wish I could remember the album song. A song. He did a song with MJG and April. It had to be Space Age Pimp on that album. And that was, I was about to say, man, I missed to E 40, April, MJG album. Dude, I was obsessed. - Yes, with MJG and A. Paul. - Yeah, they, I was obsessed with Swav house. - The whole thing. - Tony Draper, South Circle. - South Circle, yeah, I was just educating somebody on that yesterday. - I wanted to reach out to Tony Draper. - I came in with Mr. Mike, I'm like-- - I remember Mr. Mike, can I tell you when Mr. Mike, I got Mr. Mike's album, and when Killer Mike came out, I for a second, I went, "Oh, it's Mr. Mike." - It's not. - Well, a couple of fun facts, E-40 is one fourth of the group Mount Westmore. That's Mount Westmore is E-40, two short, ice cube and Snoop Dogg. We have an album out and we do shows together, we're doing a show two nights from now. And-- - Where? - Phoenix, Arizona. And if you make it to Phoenix Friday, you'll be amazed, it's an amazing show. - You're telling me, hold on. I know, one, I know three of the people in that band. - Come on. - And then I'm-- - And I'm loved to meet E-40. (laughing) - And Tony Draper's our manager. - No. - Are you serious? - South Circle's the quit. - Clay fucking swaps the shit bitch. - He loves when you bring up Swap House. That was his thing. - Swap House was their album, they did a collab album. - Swap House. - Swap House did a collab album that was, I can, there are lines in there. I've never seen a Toyota Land Cruiser without going T-O-Yoda Land Cruiser. There you go, Juza, finest ho and sight. Run my game tight. - One of the best Swap House's mummies was Tila. And that song is like, "Prepare all of my hoes in the club, show love." Shaking that ass. Jazzy Faye on the beat. That's a Swap House record, you got it? - Yeah. - You had, what was it, Rappin Forte? - Rappin Forte. You can say Forte is all the same. Forte, Forte, as we call them. Fout was a Faye. - I remember when, there was like, there's these women in hip hop that you'd hear on an album. And because you love the album, you'd fall in love with the woman and she was one of them. You know, Trina, like, 'cause I was a big Tric Daddy fan too. Tric Daddy is like, Tric Daddy is, Tric Daddy is, there's, there's, there's, there's definitely one of my favorites. - As an MC. - Whoa. - And one of my favorite guys. - Yeah. - Like, he just, he's a real out guy. - He's a, and he talks shit. I love, I love that he talks shit. - Our main songs are Tric Daddy. We have videos together, all like this stuff. - God. - Now, what was it, what was, I gotta ask, 'cause you know, he's a legend, but what was it like, meetin' Tupac for the first time? 'Cause he's, he's gotta be younger than you. - Yeah. - And he shows up in San Francisco when you're already happening. - Yeah, so you know, digital underground emerges on the scene. - People don't know. - No one has no idea what you're talking about. Digital underground, Tupac was a dancer and digital underground. - Yeah, so I have this, we used to do these, first it was VHS and then it was DVD. For every album, we would put out, like maybe like a live performance, you could buy, or just some behind the scenes type stuff. And it was the one that was, I think it was for short dogs in the house, I think. I could have been another one, but it was one of the ones I did, like a video. - Can I tell you what's so insane? You're like, so like my dad, when I got to the age of buying cars, my dad said, it's just Mercedes. Like it's your grown man, you make a little money. It's a Mercedes. So let's not get all confused and you don't need a Camry. I know this is a good car, but you want a Mercedes. - Can I buy a Mercedes? - You were my Mercedes. I don't think, I looked at your album list today, because the day I go, that's my guy. Same as Snoop, same as Master P, same as Tricked Daddy. Same as Outcast, there are guys when their album comes out, you buy it, doesn't matter, you buy it. And you are that guy for me. There's a big list. Now there's guys that weren't. There's guys that come into your life and you like them and then you're like, okay, and I tried it with a couple of guys. I tried it with Vanilla ice. I love Vanilla ice. I loved them. I tried it with a third base. - Some people make this sounds other people make good albums. - Man, I'm curious what you thought the first time you heard Vanilla ice, the first, this one song is amazing. - Incredible. - I always thought it was funny that he said, he went to court like, I didn't sample Queen. Like, bro, it's identical, you told me didn't sample it. That was funny. - So we go back I'm so sorry. - Two puck, yeah. - Two puck. You already know the answer. Two puck was, I didn't even know that he was there. I looked back like, I watched that video, approved it, it went out, and like years later, when he gets famous, looking at one time, I was like, that's two puck in the background. Like, he was there. He was there, he was just a young cat. I'm sitting there, I'm talking a Humpty Hump. We doing Humpty Hump was the host for this particular video. So he did the behind the scenes hosting, and he's going around with the camera, interviewing people at the party, and two puck and money be as his back there having a good time. I'm like, I totally missed that in real time. So, but he was always around as a youngster. He was around, 'cause because digital underground, their whole crew and me and my whole crew were all friends. And they were two puck was in the digital underground crew, so they were all mixing and mingling, doing their blunt smoking, and hanging out, and making music. And I'm kind of like me and shock. We like the big homies, the front man, and two puck was around, but he wasn't really hanging around me, but he was around. I was moving in different circles. And I always felt like the circles that I was running in, I felt like it wasn't good for certain rappers, because the peer pressure of rappers acting, talking tough shit, and then coming around tough guys, they're going to make you want to do tough shit. And I thought that some of my friends would probably be a bad influence on certain rappers. And two puck, I knew he could handle it. I just didn't want to bring him to the East Oakland that I was hanging out in. He hung out with guys like Richie Rich, a lot of guys. He was close, but I just didn't want to bring him to the East Oakland. I was hanging out in because I didn't want him to get influenced or any kind of thing because of me. So really. So what was your friend group in East Oakland was real? - Yeah, it could be good and bad for whoever, but I was very particular about rappers and people that I've made music with to bring them around. People that I associate with. - Really? - Yeah, just because I figured out how to navigate it, but I don't know if they could. I didn't want to be the one that walked you into some shit that changed your life. - I have no, I can't really understand that, because I'm a fool. Like, if you tell me like, but, but. - Well, imagine hanging around with a bunch of wild motherfuckin's, you know, just got them spontaneous decision-making gangsters. Just imagine. - I hung out with the zoe pound in Miami. - Yeah, so imagine being with them every day. - I was, but like, I was, I got that white boy energy that like, if there's something dangerous, I start walking towards it. And then I don't realize what I've gotten in over my head. - You about to be a Haitian gangster? - I met them in a radio, they had a song called "I'm a Zoo." And they were at the, they were at DJ Lazarz's and DJ Lazarz came out to my show and he brought them with them. - Getting the checklists together, damn near a print. - Damn near Haitian gangster. - Yes. - All right, let's keep going. And then he's like, yo, you want to go out with us? And I was like, hell yeah. And we drank a ballad tequila on stage at the Miami improv. And then we went out, I think we went to Fat Tuesday's first. And then, and I think we ended up at Fat Tuesday's or one of the clubs in Miami. And at one point I was like, I think we all grew up a little different. I should probably separate myself. - Do you do comedy drunk? - I used to. I used to whenever. I mean, whatever the, especially in Miami, because Miami was really, Miami was a real kind of a loose club, very urban. - I never drank before work. I start drinking, as soon as I start working. - I don't drink, I don't drink now before I go on stage. I've never drank before I go on stage as a grown up. When I was younger and I was doing the road, there were no cameras, there were no cell phones. If someone sent a shot to stage, I took the shot. I would party on stage, I'd do whatever. Whatever was of the moment, and especially in Miami. It's funny, when you say that about East Oakland, I had a famous guy one time who we were in Tampa and he was like, and Florida's got that loose thing. Florida was more drugs. It's like you could get into a bad group of drugs where people, it could get over people's heads. And I knew who did drugs in Florida. And we were in Florida one time and these guys wanted us. [BLANK_AUDIO] Somebody who ran like this porn company and he had the swingers. - Florida's not Miami. - Okay, Florida. - Yeah. - Alligators in shit. That's a whole different Florida. - It's a very Tampa or Lando, Jacksonville, O'Cala, Tallahassee, Gainesville, Fort Myers, Naples, West Palm, and then you have Miami. - Pensacola. - Pensacola, and Miami is a very different place. - Yeah. But I understand that Miami's a Caribbean island. - Oh my god. - This is a weird question. Do you travel other than works? Like, do you go on vacation with stuff? - Yeah, I try, but it doesn't work out a lot, but I try. - What's your life look like? Like, do you, like, are you still working like as much as you can? Is it, are you work obsessed? Do you have time to, like, do you play pickleball? - I'm pretty good at pickleball. - Are you really? - Like, not even, like, a little bit, like I'm pretty good. I don't get it everything though, but, (laughs) but, bro, it's like, you gotta, you gotta subscribe to, until the wheels fall off. You gotta, you gotta too, because when you stop, you lose your timing, you lose, you get a little rust on you. When you stop, the phone stops ringing. Jumping in and out is just not easily done. And any of the stuff sports, any entertainment, it's just, you gotta stay in shape. - I was thinking about you today, 'cause I'm like, I'm listening to new album with my wife in the car. And I'm like, man, he has, he has not. I'm looking, I'm driving my wife, and she goes, what album? I said, it just came out, it's all good on my iTunes. And she goes to the compilations, and I go, no, no, no, no, no. Go to the iTunes, it's the most recent one. She goes, he's got a million fucking albums. And I went, yeah, he's been putting album since I was in fucking high school. I go, he never slows down. And as we're listening to this album, I'm like, first of all, I really do love the song, we start the product. I love the first song, I love, the whole album, because there's hints, you haven't lost who you are, you haven't tried to confuse anyone, which was a big problem with vanilla ice as second album. (laughing) Really? Come on, vanilla ice is doing good in life, by the way. He's doing great in life. He is unaware that you can't text pictures of your balls to people, but he builds nice houses. He builds great houses, very, very sweet man. And he's very cool to be around. I love Rob, I call him Rob. But, but, and I'm listening to, I'm listening to you thinking about driving this workout class with my wife and I'm thinking, the second, it happens in comedy. 'Cause you know, I always internalize things and think that your art and how it applies to mine. And I go, I like you. I like what you write, rap about. I like the beat you choose. I like the signatures, I think it was like, maybe it was a one with snow where I recognize that loop, and I was like, oh yeah, and I went, that's the thing with comedy, you don't sew down, you keep doing what you do. Because the second you stop, the second you get off the merry-go-round, it's really hard to get back on. And the second, and the second you let yourself stop, all of a sudden it goes without you. Yeah, and you're fucked. If you wanna get back in it, I don't ever wanna be out of it, but I, exactly, so I'm like, to the wheels fall off, I think it's a good job when you're doing something creative that you really love. And it's taking care of you. So to just think that the grass is greener on the other side of somewhere, you're really good at this. Like, what happens if Michael Jordan doesn't play baseball? Like, we missed something that was gonna happen. Something phenomenal. You know, if Chicago seven feet or some shit, six feet in a row. How did the, can you tell me how today you make this album? Like, do you, how does it financially start? Do you invest all your money into it? Does the label come to you? And because I know that there's not a money that we made off streaming. But how does that work? Like, do you know what I mean? - You don't need the labels anymore because we are a self-finance. We have all the equipment we need to record and make music. We have all the knowledge we need. All the labels can do is, you know, distribute and promote if they want to do that part. - Yeah. - It can't really, they don't really have to finance you if you're in my position. - Yeah. - So, we're playing a different game. Like I'm totally, like I said, I'm totally independent. I have no intentions of needing or wanting to partner up with the major distribution. - I'm interested in things like, what are these new platforms that are trying to be music distributors? Like, you know, Amazon, where are they going? Where the Amazon is delivering shit to everybody's house? Every day, I'm like, drop off some two short music. - Yeah. - So, who knows where's going? I'm really not, the lights are getting me. That's what I'm crying. - That's okay. We can lower them if you want. We'll get you out of here soon. We've done about half. - If you want to, let's make a two short cry. - Yeah. - The bright lights that got me, I came here a little high all week too, a little bit. And then the visuals, you know? - Yeah. - But you don't need anyone. You just put it out. - Yeah, man, it's, it is freedom. It's freedom. There's no constraints on, there's no expectations, there's no bar. You gotta meet, there's just, you get to do it. If you want to do. And it's been that way for me for a while, but I guess the best part about what I'm doing is, I like making music. - Yeah. - And you're good at it. And the live shows, it all serves the live shows. And the live shows are where, I mean, for us, it's always been where, like look, you put out some people put specials out on YouTube for free. But you, we put our specials out and then it's all to get us to people come to our live shows. - Can you tell me about the popular game? It's a popularity contest. - Yeah. Can you tell me about the Oakland ballers? - The Oakland ballers is a minor league baseball team that set up shop in Oakland. - That's where the fucking money is. - And it's just to bring the city, a city that always loves sports, just to have something there, you know? Like, and I'm so proud of the Oakland ballers. They came in and the league that they're in, they won the championship immediately. And it's just like, it means a lot to a lot of people. To just, just, 'cause I don't know if you get the relation but the ballers, the logo is B, a partial VF, a partial VS. So we had the A's. - Oh yeah. - And now we got the B's. - The Oakland ballers. - Yeah. - And I remember when they were trying to name the team, and I heard a few names go up in the air, and I guess whenever they came up with ballers, everybody agreed that's it, Oakland ballers. I saw the apparel, and I'm like, if I didn't give two fucks about this team, I'd still wear this shit. - Pull up the Oakland ballers apparel, would you? - Oh yeah. - It's cool. - I'm a big minor league baseball hat guy. I don't know which one I'm wearing today. - What? - I don't think this is who makes all my hat. - If you don't have any of our shit, bro, you missed it. - I don't. - This is a-- - Click on our shit. - Fucking hat. - Our shit is clean. - That's great. - The B's, man, the ballers. The Hoodies are clean, everything. - That's the money invested in fucking sports teams. - So yeah, I'm really, I'm glad they invited me in because it is something that the city always needs, the city of Oakland. And, you know, you still have expectations of futures. Now, we got a soccer team too. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I don't know if I'm a soccer. - I did do a World Cup. - Guess what? - What? - The soccer games are fucking packed. - I had more fun watching World Cup my entire life. But that's all I've ever watched is soccer. I'm not like a, like I have buddies to go to the ones in Austin 'cause they, because McConaughey invites them. But I've never, I've, I've gone to one soccer game in Austin. But like I don't follow soccer enough. I don't know the rules. I enjoyed World Cup. World Cup was a fucking blast. But like if you're asking me, like on a Sunday what I'm gonna go to, I go to a baller's game and a heartbeat. - You know, we also have some nice apparel. - Who? - The San Francisco women's soccer team. - Really? - It's like FC or something. Let me help you find one of those games. - Bay FC. Bay FC, look at their, their, their shit's clean too. I wear their shit. Women's soccer, they got us. Their shit is nice. - Oh yeah. - Oh, you sure? - That's that logo that I want on the blue with the red. says Bay, that one has to ask the logo. They got a lot of that shit. Yeah, man, I'm into it. I'm into it. When you get into soccer, good, you couldn't have grown up with soccer, right? No, I'm not really. We used to, we used to play soccer in elementary school, we didn't know the fucking rules. Yeah, just kick the fucking balls. Somebody yell, let you know your hands. Yeah, we do that with hockey. We never played hockey in our lives in Florida. You just beat the fuck out of the fucking smallest kid. Yeah, Florida. Florida is interesting. What's your tour look like? Are you doing more of these shows with, what's your tour, what's your tour in look like? I have been doing shows consistently since 1987. So you on tour, are you just on tour? I refused to do a tour. I went on tour with Snoop Dogg in 2023 because he, you know, it was just a great deal. Yeah. Just go out there in for a few weeks and, you know, make a lot of dough. And then the way he set it up, I was able to like leave and come back because it'd be like four shows in a row, then two days off, and another three, and you know, so I was, I was a good look. But outside of that, I usually turn tours down where they say, let's go run these cities for the next three, four of weeks, and then, you know, this is what you make X-Mine Dolls. I'm like, no, I just relatively just do a couple shows on the weekends here and there, and you know, keep it going pretty consistently. But hey, man, the following doesn't stop ringing, so that's a blessing. I mean, you are an absolute legend. The album out right now is called, uh, it's called, uh, Sir two short, trinkets mode, volume two, yeah. And it is fucking awesome. The one, and how did you discover snow? Well, uh, one night, I've been knowing about her. I fucking love her. We met in the past, but I did a show a week before the album dropped, like, like literally Sunday, the album dropped on the Friday. That Sunday, I was doing a show in downtown LA. And she had text me that afternoon and said, it's snow. I'm coming to your show. I'm going to be back stays getting some behind the scenes stuff. And I literally looked at the text and it wasn't from a number that was saved in my phone. So I was like, you know, it's one of the days you got a show. I'm running and doing hell of shit. And I'm like, I kind of like didn't sink in like it's snow. I'm like, I can't be kidding. I don't know. Yeah. And then I'm doing the show and I look over, she's standing right there. And I'm like, I've walked on the show. I'm like, did you text me earlier? She's like, yeah, like what the fuck? Come on, I don't stay. She come on stays. And she had a tequila bottle. She gives me the tequila we drink in front of crowd. She says something to the crowd. It's all love. And then, um, I knew the album was coming out in five days. I had the song, the one she's on. Yeah. That was slightly different. It was quite different and the version that came out. But every time I tried to make it work, it didn't work. And I was just in my mind and some people around me, we were like, we got to get a female on that song. That song was calling for a female. So it wasn't going to make the album because unless it got a female, it just wasn't the right song. Yeah. And then when she was standing there, and I go to sleep, I wake up the next day and everybody just got at the same time. Like, that's who needs to be on this fucking song. Snow. In a corner, I'm like, the album's coming out Friday. I'm trying to get you on the album. We got enough time to make it happen. And then she went up and she was like, well, come to my spot. And that's right record the song in live streaming while we record it. And live on the stream, I told her before we did it. I said, I feel like you are going to make the song better. I explained to her everything about it that wasn't working. And how many times I tried and put it to rest. I think I had like seven versions. Maybe maybe nine. Yeah. Failed versions. And she knocked it out the park and one try. She so good. She adjusted to hook a little bit, gave it a little different cadence. Gave us a new tempo of the cadence on the flow. And then I had like, I had like a bunch of lyrics on there. And we sat there together with like, no, no, yes, yes, no, yes. And we just saved those lyrics of mine. And we fucking made this song live. In front of live streamed audience. My first time ever doing it. Really? I mean, I understand since I did that, people like that ain't shit. People do that all the time. Yeah. It was my fucking first time. I never did it. God. Well, hey, congratulations on the new album. I'm going to literally look to see if I can go to fucking Phoenix on Friday. Well, if you do, we got you. My daughter's leaving town. I mean, I might see if we almost go over to Phoenix, stay to fucking that nice little spa. The show. Like if you got it, you got to be in the building like around seven o'clock, eight o'clock is safe. After that, I don't know if we might be on time. We might be a little behind. But it's scheduled to start at 830. My favorite. My favorite. So I've worked with Snoop. And it was a lot of white people on set. And Snoop would get ready to call to set. And the Lakers are playing. And they're like, we're ready to start shooting. And someone's like, the Lakers are playing. I don't think Snoop's going to come out until the game's over. And they're like, and then someone gave Snoop just a little bit of attitude. And I was like, a little thought was a bad move. And he just was like, and then he just looked at him and just turn around and walked away. I was like, well, he looks over here in this tomorrow. Like Snoop was like, go fuck yourself. Don't don't ever treat me like that. It was really fascinating. But my favorite story is we were supposed to do something's burning. Me, you and big boy from big boy from big boys neighborhood. And they go to shorts getting his haircut. And I was like, cool. And we're like, and and big boy goes, he's not coming. And I said, what do you mean he's not coming? He goes, he goes, I guarantee you, he's somewhere else. And someone, I go, well, how much what's his ETA? And they're like, yeah, think he's going to Rancho Cooke a monk. And I was like, I looked at big boy, big boy goes, hey, I can get us dot, dot, dot. And I was like, wait, who do we have on? He goes, I can get G, G easy on. And I was like, I was like, okay, we'll do that. And then you rolled in as everyone's walking out. You're like, I'm here for this show. Yeah, I came by just just to just to tell you I sincerely was on the way. You really were on the way. You were not, you were like, but it was my favorite is his big boy goes, he's not coming. He's getting his haircut and Rancho Cooke a monk. Yeah, it was a little extreme. I don't I don't I know it was a scheduling thing about getting from because sometimes they make the schedule. Yeah. Oh, it's don't get me started. It's almost impossible for a human to do is on the paper, but we try. I said one time to my team, I said, did anyone put in lunch for it? That's what I say every day. And they're like, no, I go, you know, I'm a human too, right? You got to schedule lunch, man. Can I tell you the thing? I say over and over. I said it to my wife, my daughters, and I said it to my my new assistant. I said, I said to every assistant when they tell me like, well, we have to leave here by 425. I go, hold on, we don't have to do anything. I don't have to. It starts when I show up, like, especially like a live show, and they're like, well, you got to be there by 730. I go, I don't have to be there until I show up. That's that projected time. It's a projected time. Like I we can push show by 10 minutes. I'm not going to stress out. You're not going to make my stress crazy because you want to get it off your plate. It's all about the money shot, man. Yeah, once you get the money shot, we're good. Yeah, with everyone, no one, no one's coming to my shoulder. So because I'm punctual, no one's like, I've been the thing I love about burst shows. They start right on time. Where I think it does not be funny. I've done that before. Hey, thank you so much for doing my podcast. Anytime. Anytime. It is an honor of privilege. And I am like fucking floored. I am. I am fucking. You made my day. Phoenix Friday. Phoenix. Maybe Friday. I'm talking to Leanne downstairs. I'm going to a couple of stairs. I'll be there. I'll bring it up there. Maybe we'll go to strip club after. I'll go by myself. This episode was brought to you by The Machine.