#68: Stop Telling Your Story (It's Costing You Customers)

The more you are obsessed about your customer, the more likely you are to survive. Bottom line. The point of this episode is to explore some of the ways that you can be more customer-centric. Let me give you an example. It's a real one. I was just talking to a real estate agent the other day. And they were having some questions about getting their story out, building their personal brand. And this agent said to me, "Dawn, it is my passion to help pets get adopted. Dogs and cats in shelters. I volunteer. I try to do all this stuff." How do I get that message into my real estate business? You don't, right? My answer to them was that those are two completely separate things. They have nothing to do with each other. You do not have to explain that you are somebody who helps dogs get adopted. Just go help dogs get adopted. It's not going to help you grow your real estate business. Separate those things entirely. I am here to tell you. We've proven it over and over at Storybrand with the thousands of companies that we work with. There's almost no reason to tell your story. You're listening to the Storybrand podcast based on Donald Miller's best-selling book, Building a Storybrand. The Storybrand framework is made up of seven key elements. All of them anchored in one powerful idea. Your customer is the hero and you are their guide. Each week on the podcast, you'll get exactly what you need to craft clear messaging that connects with more customers and grows your business. Now let's dive in with your host, Donald Miller. One of the most common mistakes I see business owners make is they lead with secondary messaging as opposed to primary messaging and they don't know the difference. The primary message is inviting the customer into a story and messaging sound bites that do that. You are the hero of the story. You are clearly having a problem. We care about you. We are here to serve you and we are competent to help you solve that problem and you should buy our product. That's really it. That's the message. It's not here's who I am. Here's who I'm married to. Here's where I went to school. Here are my passions. Here are my favorite colors. I have a friend who hired a branding firm because she had a business. I'm not going to tell you what the business is. I want you to guess. Branding firm came to her and said, "Well, this business should reflect you." Wrong. Why should the business reflect you? Shouldn't the business reflect the fricking customer? Where did you get that idea? I'm literally because there are some of you who are contending with me right now in your mind. But let me just ask you this. Why do you believe that? Why do you believe anybody needs to know your story, especially strangers? Why? Where did that come from? I think it's a survival mechanism where instead of surviving by service, we survive by spotlight. Maybe that's the transfer that it's made. Maybe it's fear missing out. Maybe we see other people doing it and they're driving nice cars and we want one. We got to put ourselves out there. I don't understand it. Anyway, the branding agency said, "It's got to reflect you. What are your favorite colors?" That sort of thing. Finally, after hours of this, she said, "I really love this poem. I've always loved this poem. It's freed me that poem." She reads this poem. The poem has a line, "The well-placed smile." He goes, "That's it. That's the name of your business. Well-placed smile." Because when people come in here, they'll smile. They name the business well-placed smile. You tell me what that business is. If a business is called "well-placed smile," you tell me what it is. The dental business. It wasn't. It was an event space. Do you see how confusing when you lead with your story and your passion and your values and what you like and what you don't like and some poem you like? Do you see how when you lead with you, how confusing it is for the customer? It just doesn't make any sense to do that. It is getting harder and harder to be customer-centric because people are so self-obsessed. They feel like they have to be self-obsessed in order to survive. The exact opposite of that intuition is true. Bottom line. One of those ways is to know the difference between a primary and a secondary message. What is a primary message? Let me give you some examples. A primary message is, here's why we care about people who have this problem. That is a primary message. You lead with that message. Now, it is in fact about you because it's why you care. We call this the backstory of the guide. The backstory of the guide is something happened to them that they learned to care about this problem. Maybe it happened to them? I don't know. Maybe it happened to their mom. I don't know. It's something happened to them that made them care about this problem. Here's why we care is a primary message. Here's why we are competent to solve the problem. Here's a primary message. Here's why I care about the problem. Here's what I did to solve it. Here's why I'm a master at solving it. You see, all I'm talking about are the aspects of my backstory that serve you as the customer. Whenever I walk on stage, if I have a 45 or 50 minute keynote, I tell this story about getting on an airplane and sitting next to a fan who was reading my book and them not knowing it was me and striking up a conversation and listening to them him and hall about how much they liked my books, not knowing I was the author. The more they talk, the less I wanted to read my books. I say this at the end of the story. I say, I realized then I was great at writing 300 pages, not great at writing three sentences on the back that makes you want to read the 300 pages. I realized I had a messaging problem. That's when I started creating the story, brand framework. What did I do? I led with my story, but I didn't lead with my story. I led with the story that made me or positioned me as a proxy to the audience. It feels like you have a messaging problem and I up here on stage used to have a messaging problem. Then I created this framework that solved the problem for me and now I'm going to teach it to you so you can solve the problem for you. Did I tell my story? No. I told the guides backstory. Why I'm compassionate about this problem and why I'm competent to solve it. That's what you want to lead with that story. If somebody asks you your story, trick them into thinking you told your story, but don't just tell them why you care and why you're competent. Next, how you solve the problem? This is getting into secondary messaging, but here's how we do it. You come to my workshop, you join my mastermind, and I help you solve the problem. Your process, especially if you can make it visual, a little map, a little road map of your process, when you make your process of how you help people solve a problem, visual, we use a little candy land style map for a lot of our products. Here's the 15 step process we take you through. When you make it visual, you activate another 50% of the person's brain that you're talking to. If it's not visual, only 50% of their brain is activated. If you make it visual 100% of their brain is activated, so you're talking to more of them, but you do want to communicate the process that you take people through. Another thing that is primary messaging, their results. What do customers experience if they actually buy your product? What does their life look like? So think about that. Why you care? Why you're competent? How you solve the problem? By that, I mean the products that you sell, the process they will go through, and the result that they will experience. All of that is primary messaging. Can I tell you what is secondary messaging? If not just completely unimportant, your goals. Why are you talking about your goals? Write your goals in your journal. Don't tell them to your customer. I would say your company's story, the fact that your grandfather started a company, not interesting. Why you're better than the competition, secondary messaging. You say, "Don, isn't that important messaging?" No, it's important messaging to you, but let me tell you how you beat the competition. You stick to your primary messages, and the competition sticks to their secondary messages, and you beat them because the customer senses that you are a survival asset who can help them, and your competition is only helping themselves survive. Your values, not important to the customer, not important. I know they're important to you, not important to the customer. Your vision, your vision is not important to the customer. Your vision of their life is important, but not your vision of your life. These are all internal leadership team, communication, plot points, if you will, that your customer just doesn't need to know. They are secondary messaging. Now, this is true in the early stages of a customer relationship. It gets less and less true the longer the customer knows you. I want to acknowledge that. However, it is critical that when somebody goes to your website for the first time, that that website is not about you, it's about the customer. It is critical in those first few exchanges that you are asking them questions, trying to figure out their story helping. them understand why you care about their problem, explaining how the problem could be solved, keeping it on them, on them, on them, on them for several interactions. I would even say, I wouldn't talk about yourself much at all until after they've made a purchase. Because then and only then, are they even remotely interested in getting to know you? You know, ladies, if you're listening to this podcast, there were probably some dates that you went on before you were married, if you're married now, where the guy sat across from you at dinner and just talked about himself the whole time. He felt like it was important that he, that you get to know him. How did that make you feel? Are you married to that guy? Did you want a second date? Did you feel unimportant? Did you feel like this guy was arrogant? People who are competent, talking, talk about others and they listen and they want to know about others. It's a characteristic of strength. So I think brands are the same. I think brands need to do a better job demonstrating that they've listened to the customer. We serve people with this problem. Here's how those people feel. Here's why we care about them. Here are all the things that we've developed in terms of creating a competency to solve that problem. Here are the products we sell that solve that problem. Here's what your life looks like after we solve this problem for you. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, and customers smell it. They sense it. There's something about this brand that I really like. I'll tell you what you like about that brand. They are a survival asset. Any person, brand leader doesn't matter. Any human being that thinks about you and how you're doing and whether or not you're okay is a survival asset. Any person who thinks about themselves and doesn't think about you is a survival liability and the human brain is wired to survive. It is always looking for survival assets. This is why I think we don't lead with our story. You can tell it later. That's why I call it secondary messaging. You can tell it when they ask, but you better make sure that they know that you care about them and that you are strong and competent to solve their problem. Otherwise, they will go to another brand. They will go to another leader. Here's an assignment. Go to your website. Go to your website. In under five seconds, have you stated clearly what problem you solve? Like, can you tell in under five seconds, could a stranger go to your website and in under five seconds go, okay, apparently you guys solved problems of flat tires or trees down in the yard? Have you answered the question, what does my life, the customer, what does the customer's life look like if they do business with you? Have you answered the question, how do I buy your product? Do I just put it in the shopping cart? Do I talk to a sales rep? Those three questions. What problem do you solve? What is my life going to look like after you solve it and how am I going to buy this thing? If I can't answer those questions, those three questions in five seconds. Like, if you just show up your website for five seconds and then slam the laptop shut, you're losing money and you're probably losing money because you are leading with secondary messaging instead of primary messaging. All right, we help you turn all of this into a sales funnel. That's we overhaul your website, your landing pages, your lead generators, your emails, your social media campaigns, all that kind of stuff. You want to learn our process for helping you do that. Go to storybrandsalesfunnel.com. I've got a ton of information there about how to create a messaging campaign that works and we would never ever ever let you lead with secondary messaging, always primary messaging. Thank you for listening and we'll see you next week.