#673 Dr. Vouchie

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hitter in the face of the surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfed up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there Mark Norman and Joe list yeah this Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be cheesy oh same outfit same hat same here say different day excuse me excuse me different day I put on all the same clothes and I put it on last night and I slept in it oh yeah the same pants I was wearing the very pants I was returning that's it this is gonna be one of the great episodes of all time I'll tell you why because we're sending Chuck out to get the book get the burger get the soda get the stuff and then he's got to go get the car and drive to some parking lot yeah I think you're going to find a spot I got a good feeling I don't think you'll find a spot well because everyone this is the Tuesday and you get the 11 30 so everyone's gonna be going and then you can come back right out of the coffee and you'll get the spot when they're done cleaning every once in a while it's a holiday you don't know about street cleaning suspended call three on one because that's happening many times right go out to move the car and all the cars in there and I'm like what the hell's going on call three one they goes parking is in a or a suspended you thing today some kind of thing or it's Ramadan or it's yeah Ramadan ding long yeah it's you know I'm not sure I'm on or it's flag day or Chinese New Year you it's open boxing day so I bet I bet it's fine I don't you hate that guy the guy park here you're good well this is the tome and fuck me in the ass like yeah yeah I'll pay for it I love that okay always get the guys like I got it if you if you can tow it I'll pay for you with that guy two minutes ago you're like no I don't give tickets in this street on its end pay for it no no no I'll pay for the garage we'll pay no I'll split yeah we'll split the garage five bucks each if you see a spot you see a spot it's not finding a spot it's a great feeling look for a spot circle look to the cookie do a circle but first get the the brownie and the cookie and the soda and the croissant and the tea yes sir oh yeah you there fatty thank you for addressing me and sir well many people have called in by the way they're like they pay this guy seventy five thousand that's a good that's a home in Staten Island big kitchen and you make it sound like I didn't already say please thank you bag off air now like a dick and by the way all this was discussed 40 minutes ago I ordered 75 minutes ago this guy's sitting like a lump on a lot I'm like coffee's getting cold you were jibber jabbing you jibber jab I've been reading articles no you two jibber jab about Sasha Merrick Cohen for 75 minutes that's true I've been reading emails it's 11 oh we're gonna get started we're 30 minutes behind what I'm telling on we're on air oh great all right well keep all that in there might be a buzz can you take the tea bag out and get a couple napkins yeah please was sugar on top by the way folks at home he's leaving anyways to move the car and I was the one that was like I'll pay for the parking yes I appreciate it on air all of a sudden he wants to split before he's like do something like do three laps get a ticket look for something I say if you find a spot great if you can we'll split it why are you gonna drive anyways take the train he's on an island he's like Epstein all right I could take it I want to take the ferry you got to take the ferry oh I got to take a boat it sucks up to the slaves I love the ferry you can't believe it 6 a.m. day to ferry I left I woke up today at 6.45 to come here oh I'm over steeping over here I mean come on a chop chop I want to make sure your steep is right please it's already too late I mean well luckily they take a little while over there if you know what I'm saying what is it the foods all cold the waters all warm so yeah just bring that back here as soon as possible maybe jog if you could if you can find a spot we appreciate yeah or it's just get a ticket I don't it doesn't matter we give you $78,000 a month they'll pay for the ticket absolutely I paid for a tennis ticket last week and that was a steal anyways we appreciate it Chuck by the way I think we've talked about this maybe you had this point if I had a job and I had to sit around and somebody was like take off and go get coffee I would be skipping get me out of here I was that guy put your headphones in listen to a better podcast than this sure sure go look at some some booties and some hot moms oh they're out there and that lady it's raining might get a wet tea yeah very exciting yeah I run around the rain you might have a wet tea Rupert once out of wet tea I almost took a photo I mean those cans were popping we appreciate it thank you we're rolling right is the buzz happening or buzz light here no buzz check for the buzz I think my theory he brings the big tube of coffee just so I can't get him a coffee so it feels less even wow if that's diabolical this guy's as diabolical as they come that's an elaborate plan you're hatching there yeah well he's a labyrinth thank you Chuck we appreciate you yeah thank you you're the best producer by the way you should see how Lewis Gomez treats producers you should see what I'm not supposed to see that you should see and they don't get paid they're interns they do an internal Olympics they screams at them calls it's not internal Olympics that whatever it is thank God he's got all right finally now we can breathe you kill that it's what I'm saying circle a little more time yeah circles not bad circle gets the square circle jerk yes yes least circle that's the place of my neighborhood growing up perfect circle wasn't that the guys from tool they started another band circle boy they really went gave from tool tools like tool and then perfect circle sounds like a kid show it's perfect circle of reference to Michelangelo I think he drew a perfect circle it was Da Vinci was it Da Vinci yeah one of those guys Da Vinci was big did the helicopter back then what do you mean the helicopter he invented the helicopter lean on a Da Vinci invented the helicopter I mean he didn't make one with Kobe in it but he invented the idea of the hell he's like this would work we had blade spinning this would this would lift up a vehicle and everybody's like get the hell who is this homo he's on briefer get rid of no kidding the painter Da Vinci the painter no wait hold on let yeah was it Da Vinci I don't know he's got the big thing with the the graphs on it and the guy going like this I think that might be Da Vinci I think it's Da Vinci and that's the helicopter only we had a guy here to Google this yeah he's Chuck right helicopter like all kind of hourglass all kinds of jet GPT give it a good yeah Michelangelo is the chapel CIS team yeah Sistine Chapel the ceiling Leonardo DiCaprio oh no no no no Leonardo by the way that family really went all in on the DeGo name huh Leonardo DiCaprio like Jesus slow down what is this an inje turtle let me see did Leonardo Da Vinci thank you come up with the idea for the helicopter question mark oh shit what'd you do you dropped the log yeah sort of hey there you go it's one of the more fascinating examples of Leonardo DiCaprio being centuries ahead of his time thank you around 14 84 Leonardo design what called an aerial screw hey that before it was essentially a large spiral shaped rotor made from linen and reads I don't know what that is our EED that's a kind of a string you get from a branch ah his idea was that if the screw rotated rapidly enough it would screw itself upward through the air somewhat like a screw moving through a nut there you go he gave me some other inventions I mean it's got to put all kinds of stuff together he didn't invent the helicopter in the sense of creating a work of a helicopter but he did conceive of a machine based on the fundamental idea of using a rotating airfoil rotor to achieve vertical lift roughly 450 years before practical halloween huh here ahead of his game ahead of his 10 what what else did he invent or come up with question mark oh oh my god Leonardo is almost absurd do you think about the range of things he was looking at this guy the important caveat is that many of these concepts designs rather than working inventions parachute 1485 the tank oh my lord this guy is unreal cone-shaped armored vehicle in 1487 flying machines designed several machines inspired by birds yep but does this count car I can come up with the homework machine and a squirrel that can blow you and you don't do it but homework already existed and you're coming up with a machine to do it the car or the hell I've didn't exist right a self propelled car this one is crazy and Leonardo Caprio to Caprio I keep saying that designed a spring-powered three-wheeled vehicle that could move without being pushed to hold real A mechanical robot designed mechanical knight around 1495 Wow the enormous bridge and this sounds like they're fucking with us He had a bridge hydraulics Leon bridges Hydraul I mean I've been so I've been you know What do you call that held up hold it holding up? What do you call it? What do you call it hold up hold up hold up? I can hold up. Yeah, H.O. L.E.D Yes, it didn't sound right something like hold but I've been holed up so I go okay If I'm on a be home and wasting my life and wasting time and being gay I'm gonna watch some in an informational educational stuff So I watched the Lincoln doc whatever and I found this YouTube channel and I started watching Literally, it's a cartoon. It literally say why are there big cats, but not big dogs You know you get the tiger the lion the jaguar and then you got a house cat But then you got a dog you got a wolf but a wolf and a husky aren't that different. There's no huge dog Good boy the size of a lion right so you go. Yeah, why is it? So I'll watch a 10 minute video about it and they explain it that I got I watch one how did cavemen survive? We're slower. We're weaker. We're uglier. We're not as hairy. How do we survive they got saber to tiger? Will he man with giant bears? Hainas all that back then and they were huge back the animals were huge in the day So what was the dog? Why is it a dog? I forgot. Well, it was a great day. That's pretty good. Oh the day It's not a wild great dog cook. Yeah, that's the problem with this we've talked about this before I take in the educational stuff But I don't retain. Yeah, I mean we could goog It was googling and reading good old time. Okay. Well, well the caveman one was fasting Obviously was three things fire. Oh, you go. Whoa. Oh, and a lion goes all right. Oh, you got me two fire Fire I Came over the other we could run a long way like you chase a deer and a deer can run faster but it gets tired Yes, we can we can marathon it. Yes, three. This is the big one We work together Dear go yeah, they're all independent. They're all individuals we go. Okay, you three chase the deer off a cliff We'll wait at the bottom of the cliff and stab it Uh-huh, so they would do things like that and then they found a a skull and it was a 40-year-old man lived 40 Which is crazy long back then he had no teeth so they go how does guy survive 40 years of that teeth? His friend would chew the meat and give it to him. Oh, it's been in like a bird. Yeah It's like invented the smoothie. It they're helping people helping people. Yeah So I think we're the only animal that can think about the future - ah-ha Abstract conceptual. Yeah, we're like all right eight years from now, you know AI will fuck us all in the ass But I think the deer is just you know, which is a a blessing an occurs because all day I'm sitting around thinking about my death. Sure, but the deer is just like I'm gonna drink this water This is good ass water and they hear like this. I'm in danger right get out of here And then they they find all these beads and they go beads this bead is nine million years old. They get bored Hey, I got a shell. I got a string. I'm wearing some jewelry. I want to make some jewelry It'll be it's yeah, you do it art You draw a hippopotamus on the wall. There's no point to that Just fun. We create. Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's fun But then the coolest video I watched was Anomaly people these people who were just one guy was born with a big head He has a right brain left brain, but nothing they're attached and everyone else his aren't attached So he could read a page with his left eye and a page with his right eye at the same time. Whoa And this guy's fish. Yes. Yes fish. His name was Kim Kim seek Kim seek Kim seek Ugly guy weird guy, but he couldn't button his own shirt, but he could Open a book read it in two seconds, and you remember it forever Wow, then another guy was like a party dude. He was like a drunk guy karaoke. He was big in a karaoke I don't know. He lived in Ohio Got beat up and mugged in a parking lot one night woke up He could see Fractals of light and geometry he could draw geometry with two hands those spirally things and he he could see how water was He knew the physics of water just because of the beat up sometimes like oh this checked back already. Oh, that was too quick He's all wet. Hey took the team bag out too He's a good guy. Well, that's like a great for all the you know what I mean a horrible horrible work and breath Yeah, yeah, Virginia virginity. He's a good man. Virginia Um, but yeah knocked in the head It's all down the well Thank you chuckles. You're a good man. You're all wet. What happened? You're a good guy. Thanks for taking the tea bag out. All right, make sure Oh there if you need it. All right. Hey, you want some brownies? I'm cooking some. Hey, who are you talking to? I'll take a oh thank you to you. Appreciate you Break you up a big piece of this fucking I thought you were on a diet. I am. I'm breaking it right now for the show break good at the show Maybe when you found out break fast with that was that was special those those moments when you go Every kiss begins with Kay. How the fuck did I miss that? Yeah There's something I just thought of the other day Thank you check. Oh, yeah, you better close that door. Are you going back out? Ah, you could have done it all in one swoop. You want an umbrella or anything? I got one by the door. Your glasses are all soaking wet. Sure He's okay that check. I'll get a towel for him. You tell me I you tell me he's all right. Oh after damn good brown That's a good brownie, right? The folks love when we do this. Oh, yeah Well, I've shot cut this. Oh, he's got an umbrella He's good. That's why I'm brought. I stole that from a hotel. Good for you. Thank you Go buy some umbrella. 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You're gonna love it Sheath carries all sizes from extra small chuck tiny dick to triple XL Rupert Those won't fit. They even have sports bras and women's underwear for those ladies my wife wears those little booty underwear Oh slapper. I come on her. It's great. Love what you wear as this feel it to believe it go to sheath.com slash News gays a news code to's gays for 20% off. That's one fifth. He's a real gay that rubber sheath even offers a first pair Guarantee so it's not for you you get your money back But once you try sheath there's no going back that sheath s-h-e-a-t-h.com slash to's gays News code to's gays for 20% off sheath underwear the underwear of legends thanks to sheath Bonsering this episode. We appreciate your Bobby Patton American war veteran. We love your sheet Now what was that thing you sent me this morning? Oh That was AI It's Seinfeld going hey George. I can believe it. I fucked Elaine in the ass last thing. He's like get out of here He's like then she blew me after. Oh, that's cool. So it's fun. It's fun to see with a eyes. It's running rampant fatty Yeah, well, I've talked about this before. I think I can't wait for AI Let me get minute bull fucking my wife will both jerk off to it. Oh, you can do that tonight. No. Oh, yeah Well, one little program of Claude. They'll pull that right up Love scene If you have a photo of two people they can get them to kiss but I thought I was getting controversial I thought they were gonna take that away. I think they will eventually but it's the Wild West still with AI So they haven't caught on yet because I would like if I can get a nice video You know my new ball is gonna be a quick fuck the minute balls Sean Bradley and Shaq just tripling up on like 37 photos fucking my Well, take it to the hole. I mean, geez, that's quite a all-star team on top of Sarah. Smash that backboard right in their tits. Oh boy. Well, she's gonna get a ring. Just two buddies eating brownies on television. Oh, yeah. He's about to get a brown eye, but yeah. Hey, I they're gonna they're gonna make some lawns because They're gonna take your kid get a photo of it and make him do all kinds of gait shit and ruin his career. Well, it's a problem I mean Bill Gates came out and is like we're fucked. This is horrible. Yeah. Yeah, that's scary What is this going on with the owners of AI or the creators or whatever you want to call it? They come out and go. It's bad news baby. Oh, be genies out of the bottle or whatever the hell cats out of the bag And it's too late. So it's a snowball coming down the hill and it's happening. Yeah, it's very frustrating It is, but I guess because the medicine they all agree and I've actually I talked to AI to quell my fears about AI Whoa, that's heavy, but AI Chatchy BT is like listen, you see the headline that says Bill Gates is concerned And your brain goes from well, first of all, they make it a click-baity title. Yeah, he's like we got to watch out This is gonna be bad, but they make it Bill Gates warns that we're fucked right and It's also like Nobody knows how to predict the future. He's just saying hey, this could be a problem. It's going to be a problem And we tend to go to the worst place in our brain. So right they get you at the fear monger So your brain goes from it makes the leap from this guy's concern to like this is definitely gonna happen Yeah, of course, but and it's new and unknown But but you didn't see Henry Ford coming out with the car going. I shouldn't have done this. This is horrible You know, he's like there's gonna change our lives with the better the saddle guys fucked and the horse guys fuck but Everybody in America's gonna have a car you watch and we do have 60,000 deaths a year from Automobiles great point great point. Yeah, so you got to break a few eggs So we'll see, but I do think this mass unemployment is gonna be a little Topsy-turvy I agree, but I did see an interesting take where a guy said he's like an AI guy whatever he goes This is kind of like the new what do you call that industrial revolution cars? Whatever it is, you know, the new thing New clear. Yeah, he's like this never had an invention that changed the world like this and it didn't add jobs Yeah, but I think that's the thing that's making this so wild is this completely unprecedented right right But so was electricity and all that wasn't it? Yeah, but it did It's hard to see how this would create jobs because this thing is good at doing all the jobs It's good at doing everything, but then you start or what if I spin it? Hey, I'm spending a lot of money on my business manager and our stock guy and our lot of lawyer I Get AI to this is it hit me with a document hit me with a computation hit me with the Affidavid, I don't need this guy. I'm saving eight million dollars a year. Yeah, you are, but he's losing Thousand dollars or whatever it was, but that's the way the cookie crumbles because if somebody can save they're gonna do it But how are you gonna make money when nobody can afford to buy a ticket exactly? That's the scary thing That's the people I bring this up and people are like oh your jobs one of the ones that's irreplaceable. I'm like Well, my job requires an audience 700 people buying a ticket and coming to a show exactly which requires a job And you don't want them getting screwed. No, and then all yeah, just mass unrest and then they go hey, they fuck you Right, you want to come see you do your zingers and yuck-a-mups. I lost my job to a fucking robot. So But some jobs will stick around or you be I don't know Yeah, you be I don't love just cuz I know humans. I know look at me I'm holed up with the hair. I want to kill myself imagine if I just live like this. I'd cut my dick off Right, but you wouldn't have head pain. Well, it's not to go do anything It's not the head pain that's bothering me. That sucks, but it's the I can't I like to get out right? I like to move I like seeing you. I like you guys here like go and do a show. I like hitting the road But I think the point is if you had the universal income you could do whatever you want I mean I don't know that people would true, but I do think there's something to having a purpose and having a goal and and accomplishing things that are hard there is something to that but also think about the amount of people My parents certainly everyone in my family that are fucking wholly entirely miserable at work. Yeah, of course, and they're just bust in their ass like you know I got an uncle who's in the HVAC his whole life is crawling through hot fake and barely walk He's like a cripple his hands were all fucked up that's hell to have him not have to do that. Yeah for him He's like this is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I agree and I'm all for that I've had a lot of horrible job furniture mover janitor bus boy. I've done all the shit construction gofer. I've done it but I Do think he leave people to their own devices with a lot of free time right well it's idle hands. Yeah, well it's gonna be Tricky it's gonna be tricky coming fast and it feels like people aren't really preparing for it certainly not Government I mean you saw the pandemic where everybody's like oh, I guess I'll just stay home This is kind of night. You know two weeks goes by you're like hey, I'm living. I'm watching movies. I'm getting drunk every night I love it. I gained 14 pounds, but who gives a fuck then all of a sudden the internet Consumes how many people snap during COVID that we know COVID is It's the worst that ever happened. It's the worst thing It's it's a lot of just free time nothing to do and not be able to leave and express yourself and exert and socialize right so Yeah, who the fuck knows but in a weird way. I'm glad I'm alive to see it in a weird way. I'm Annoyed I'm alive to see it. Well, they're gonna be it's gonna be funky, but we'll also cure cancer. Yes car accidents Yes, traffic. There's already a laundry list of medical Breakthrough breakthrough. Yeah, thank you. That's the exact word that part of the night laser eyes surgery will get easier This hair surgery will get easy all solving all-timers heart disease cancer I mean all that stuff is fucking unbelievable and before I was skeptical of the self-driving cars But first of all I still live because of the jobs. I mean just think of the jobs thousands and thousands of jobs, but I have this thought. I'm like I drive back and forth in New York to Boston all the time like my kid goes I would love to nap while he's napping. Oh, that's good. I love to read a book. We're right there. I would love to Jerk off. I could fuck my way. Yeah, but all the things you could do and you can do good stuff too You can get your taxes done. You can write a bit. Yeah, you can take a nap The idea of not having to do that would be great But also it's a joy to drive off sure sure. Well drive will be recreational, but so many people Hey, it's the worst part of it the most stressful part of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah So blood pressure could go down because people aren't going fuck you got on my way. He cut me off drunk driving because you have Uber But I still drinking drive every now and then you know what happens. Right. So yeah, drug drive will go down So yeah, I mean, that's what I said like 60,000 deaths from driving that can go way down trans will be more on schedule Yeah, that stuff But you got to worry about the AI's talking to each other. I know they start working each other think about we're doing this podcast right now and there's something 700,000 times smarter than us in the room listening to I know I know it's listening good I mean you say you say a sentence you check your phone you go I was with a Matt Ruby last night and we were TV has a great new bit about There's no middle anymore. It's either in cell or I'm I'm poly on only fans like whatever. It's all these things and We get it. Uh, I get home and he texted because this is the first thing that I saw when I opened my phone It said no more metal and it's some article from you know the Rolling Stone It's just like geez. That is so precise Well, my son will have monster trucks on YouTube and then you know He goes to pass comes back and curious Georgia. He's like curious Georgia's on awesome. It's because it just knows It's like throws the show on that he likes so it knows him. Oh, he had to grudge that comes wet chuck Yeah, he didn't do a lap. He did not do a lap. He was annoyed. He got the coffee. He hates us Well, then you have with AI with with filmmaking you're like, you don't want to use AI because all the stuff but like Now you can make a movie a movie that has a bunch of car crashes and a helicopter crash and guns That cost so much money because of all the props and blood and now it's like well now we can make a $30 million 30 million dollar movie For $50,000 because you can plug in helicopter crash totally totally but you're putting all those people out of business But you're also getting now more people can make movies. I know and that's the way it's gonna go because that's How humans work convenience always wins. All right, and I don't I don't think I don't think it's right And I sympathize with the people lose the jobs. Of course, but this is the saddle guy all over again, right and it's a real Shifty one. Yeah. Well, did you garage? Circle once. Circle one circle. Okay, circle dirt up. I circled like eight times before I came here eight times before I first came here. Yeah, it's a tough day Well, yeah, we got just thanks for the coffee. It's rating men Yeah, well anyway, so Terrifying by the way, raining men. Oh, yeah, we get smushed Yeah, that's a small man little Mexican horse riders. Hopefully it's a jocky, but you get hit by a Rupert I mean, you're going to China. Why me? Yeah, he'll take out a whole family. Yeah I just crushed roofs and how cars and houses. - Roofert. - Hey, that's not bad, that's not something. - How about this? I went to the, I got a wild fucking cup of gum up my ass, the other day. - Oh no, that a wild one. - That's a normal one. - Well, you know, you get the kid and you're just like, all right, we gotta do something, it's a new day. I gotta figure out something to do. So I decided to go jump in the ferry. He loves the ferry, I live right by the ferry. Take the ferry up to Midtown. I decided to go to the Intrepid Museum. - We're gonna go to the Intrepid Museum. - Oh, the boat, the aircraft carrier. - Yeah, I've done a show on there. - This might be a muddy fart. - Oh, that's sick of her. - That's sick of her. - It felt a little creamy. - It felt a little brownie. - Woo! - Get some. - You're gonna hurt my hair here. That's gonna make my plucks fall out. - Take a little bite of that. - Take a little taste of that. - See if you wanna taste that. - Ah! - Take a little taste. - You know that, that's horrific. That's all chamomile. - What is that? Oliver's travels, what do you call that? - I don't know what that is. - What's that T-Bag? - No, no, that T, that horse shit T-Gun. - Who are green T-Empers? - Emperor's Clouds, that's it. That's the third one. - I'm gonna shit my pants. - Yikes, almighty, that T-Bag has been steeped. - Oh, I love a T-Bag. So, if you're a T-Bag, a woman doesn't seem that fun of it. - I have it. - She brought it up, actually. She was like, I heard about this thing called T-Bag. My ex-girlfriend, remember Megan? - Of course, I was. - She was down to Cloud. She was all open-minded. And she's like, I heard about this thing called T-Bag and she's like, oh my god, I can't believe that. - That was a great one. That was an award winning. Put a blue ribbon on that, asshole. - That was classic. - That was a hum bigger. (laughing) - I'm trying to think here. (laughing) - That's fantastic, man. - Give me a 917, what's that, N-N-65? - N-C-17. - In basketball. - In basketball, in the end. - Oh. - And we're at Shalaba. - In N95. - N95. - You know, N95 and a colostomy bag. But she goes, I heard about this thing called T-bag. I go, where the hell you been? That was my whole high school experience. One guy got T-bagged by this guy Ryan. He got expelled. - Wait, two guys, one guy pinned the guy down and T-bagged. - Oh, Pinda, you skipped the Pinda. - Oh, wow. - Pinda. - It wasn't a rape. - One's experimental love making the other one's raping him. - It was the '90s, Jerry. I mean, he pinned the guy down and the Cadillac school and T-bagged. - That was the beginning of cancel culture. - He got expelled. - I don't know what Ryan's doing now. That's off to you, 'cause that's on to you. 'Cause that was a wild boy. - My God. - Yeah, I just don't understand my nuts. I don't want my nuts in somebody's mouth. It feels like they could bite him off by accident. - Well, it was very medical almost. 'Cause I have to get the setting right, like the logistics. She has to have be down there and you have to lower. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. And then I was like, oh, you got it, kind of. It's like landing one of those rockets with Elon Musk. You got to get it right on the hook. - Right, right. - And I had to drop down and I had a cheek that I had a chin that I had a nose and then I got the bag in. - Drop down and get me two. - And she was like, ah, and I was like, okay, we got it and I raised up. - Yeah, I have no ball. I did a bit about it. I just have no ball sensitivity. This is crazy, I'm all ball, small ball. - If I lick your ball, it's gonna do stuff for you. - I love it. - Just right on camera. - Yeah, not me. Anyway, what were we talking about? We started a story. T-bag. - T-bag. - T-bag, T-bag. - I started on the intrepid, on the intrepid. - I went to the intrepid, took the ferry up town, hit the intrepid, decided, hey, we'll walk up the intrepid. It was just me and the boys. Sarah was doing Ron On's podcast, his movie podcast. They never talked about movies. - What? - He has a movie podcast. I guess he's tired of talking about movies. So the next day I saw him, he's like, "Hey, was Sarah weird enough that we didn't talk about movies?" And I was like, "A little." - Ah, you can't put up to your layer, and you don't even do what you say you're gonna do. - Exactly. So anyway, so I go, "Martin, you and me and the Stroller "makes three, we're headed to the USS Intrepid." We go up there. - What cool is that? - That's a hell of a museum. First of all, it's a big giant aircraft carrier, which is just cool in itself. - Bad air, right on the Hudson there. - Right on the river, and they got a blue, my son can spot a blue angel from 40 miles away, 'cause he loves the blue angels. He's like, "There's a blue angel up there." - I know he's religious. - Of course it was hard because he couldn't, he can't get on it. That's a weird concept for a kid. - Ah, yes, yes. - He's like, "Let's go fucking do a barrel roll "on the blue angel." And I'm like, "No, no, it's just a model." Just a prop, not a prop plane. - It's a real plane, but it's just looking at it. It's not even a replica. But it's not, you can't go in there. - No, you can't. - Yeah, so, but we looked at all the planes. That was exciting. You go up in the ship, up into the captain's deck and the lair and the thing, and that was fun. And they got all kinds of old vehicles in there. They got trucks and tanks. - There's a space shuttle, which is awesome. And so that was cool. And you know, it was just the coolest day. And what else is in there? Then they have this, this is like the funniest thing to me. They have the aircraft, I don't know what you call it, Elevator Deck, and you can ride it. It's how they lift planes off the ground and up onto the aircraft carrier. - Oh, fun. - And they go, "Who wants to ride the Elevator?" It's a five minute Elevator ride. - That's a long ride. - Yeah, and it's literally just a big flat noodle. - Noodle. And it just goes up real slow like this for five minutes. Meanwhile, next to it, this is a regular Elevator. It just goes, boom, boom, boom, boom. - Yeah, I don't like-- - Give me the regular. - You guys are suckers. And there's like a thousand people on all stand in there. Just, oh, weird. - Yeah, that was embarrassing, but just a great day. It's so fun when you just have your kid. You're just running around. You're like, "We're on an aircraft carrier." You've seen the airplanes, he knows every plane, he knows every spaceship. - Wow, that's so cool. That's one good thing, but it's almost as similar to comedy having a kid where I would never go to Idaho. When you go to comedy, you get a gig in Idaho. You go, "Oh, go to Idaho." Now I get to see Idaho. - Yeah, well the kid, how often you go to a trippin'. - Well, it makes you think outside the box, which is nice. - Yes, yes. - But this is the nightmare of the fucking city. By the way, someone sent me the most thoughtfully mail I've ever received last night. He's like, "Before you move anywhere, please give deep consideration to Forest Hills." And it was a long, this guy, every once in a while-- - Who is this guy? - You hear from a fan that you wish was your dad. - Sure, sure. - This is the father I was, the stranger. He sent out 14 Zillow and Street EZ links. He's like, "You get this, this, and this, for this price, this price range is this." He's like, "I live here. I'm 15 minutes LaGuardia, 25 minutes to JFK. Backyard, grace. - It's a beautiful school system." - You know what, Chris D lived out there was stunning. - Two floor houses for a million bucks, which sounds crazy to some people, but in this tricin' area-- - Forget it. - Wow, is that right? 'Cause that's a coveted popular area. - You can get a three bedroom, two bathroom house for under a million, like just under a million. - Not to mention the tennis and the concerts over there. - Forest Hills, seven minute walk to Forest Hills Stadium, 15 minute ride LaGuardia. Last night I was driving back from the tennis. - I like this. - It's like a 30 minute ride to the comedy-seller in a car. About an hour, 45 minutes an hour on the train. Not bad. - Yeah, but you can head to the Texas. - Well, this is a very expensive place to live. It's not as cheap as Texas, but if you wanna buy a place in Manhattan, that's gonna be four or five million dollars or something. - No, no, no, no, no, you're better off and you're right by the airport. This guy's got something. This kid's, he's, he's good. - This is gonna be a big juicy one again. I got some problems. - I got some cuties planted there. - These are real, some real sound bites. - Oh, God, it's wet trash. - Yeah, you're killing me with this. My hair's hurting. I'm getting a bloody head here. - So, I need good air up here. - So Forest Hills isn't bad. - Oh, hell of me, thy name, thy kingdom covered my ass. That's horrific. Forest Hills is nice, but it doesn't solve the real problem. - I think one of those little fans that fat ladies keep in the summer. - Oh, yeah. Oh, heaven, heaven to bits. - Yeah, I got the vapors. - So, the real problem though is I don't want, it's still congested city limit. 'Cause he's like, you have a driveway and the thing, but I want like suburbies stuff, like where you can just hop in the car and drive to Burger King, drive to the grocery store. - First store. - Parking a parking lot. You know what I mean? You're still in like BQE traffic. - Sure, sure. - Whatever. - Yeah, it's not bad. - That's not bad. I mean, if you decide to go A-Wall and cancel all your whole strategy, this is pretty good. - Well, you can make it easier to do this podcast, the regs, the seller, the stands. - You get the bet. That's why I like this Brooklyn area. Sure, it's got some problems. Oh, yeah, yeah, I have homeless trans people coming into my home. - Wow, this might be a record here. All right, let me call the three of one one here. We got an air pollution. Oh, my lord. - Shit, I'm a shit. Okay, okay. - Is this the brownie of the tea? - I think, well, I had this morning. I had egg and cheese and a banana and a whitey. I can't put it in here. - A black caffeine and a brownie. I made it come down just trick or just be like, I didn't see what kind of reaction. - She's pregnant. I think it'll hurt the baby. Let's go get this thing's gonna curdle in there. It's gonna go full downs 'cause of that toot. - I mean, this is wild stuff. I'm so sorry. I'd say line of mad, we'll plow the whole fucking place. - Oh, yeah. (laughing) - We're gonna slow gas leak. Fast gas leak. - So for a still, I mean, you got the remote. - You know, you have Chick-fil-A and Chipotle. - I think it's the best of both of the world. You get the city, you get the life, and you get the driveway and the yard. - Near the airport. - Near the airport, Jerry. And the kid, it's safe as shit. He can run around, he can bike. up and down the boulevard yeah maybe that's something chuck what do you think and queen says everything queen says the movie theaters the grocery store it's it's queen says the burbs yeah i'm thinking about moving to jersey because of the city tax and all that jersey is good to like north like over here big Jay Gomez all went to jersey yeah but jersey it's still the traffic and there's something about being outside of the thing you got to go you got the three the two tunnels and then the GW I guess I think getting from statin islander here is harder than jersey to hear I was going to say like you could park along that big train that comes right into Manhattan you know what I mean my buddy works in Manhattan and he purposely bought a house right next to that so you can just jump on the train but it is the city tax the city taxes the state taxes I mean this place is fucking expensive as fuck AF well I do think you know it's crazy about this neighborhood I can get to Newark airport quicker than JFK really jersey is not that bad because you just go tunnel it's on highway JFK is up down left right I'm going through Puerto Rican alley if you got to take a side street uh-huh you're behind a bus Newark BQE tunnel yeah I'm there force till that could be something you close to city field you close to the tennis center you're close to uh yeah Trump you got Simon and Garfun you got Billy Eichner all four sills you know what you got to do give Chris Dia a bus like the the microphone did he move again that guy moves the most of anybody he loves chaos he moved again I think he lives in Westchester now but since in the last 10 years he's lived in statin island Bay Ridge Forest Hills Westchester yeah it's I think I heard the city two more add two more to that by the way and he has he keeps adopting children and dogs and cats and he's move it like to move all your shit I know it's so crazy crazy books and toys and video games bikes and trains and video games yeah yeah kids and spice and everything nice so yeah he's the wacky one he likes to keep it uh jumbled yeah I miss Chris I used to hang with him a lot more and I haven't seen him in a long time well if you're really moving to Tejas buckle up because home owner homo no home owner is a bitch everything's going great got this nice beautiful home go outside what the hell is that on the tree hmm there's a lot of them lantern fly oh very little is that the red one that you're supposed to kill yes oh that was fun that one summer thousands of them on the tree so I go maybe over now then there's a good bug yeah you know it's kind of like a Jewish guy moves in the neighborhood you see a few of them you're like this could be good but if another group moves in you're like we're out this could be a good bug right well I know this lizards that eat the mosquitoes and mosquitoes that eat the spiders and spiders that eat the mosquitoes exactly exactly and the spiders are good whatever you don't want to kill everything so I go maybe these are good for the tree they help the tree they pollinate they sap they just I go out by the tree there's a white goo all over all the plants it looks like like a like a freak off looks like checks back yes exactly and it was not that much goo slowed out but it was a lot of goo and there's a white goo is a film all over all the plant they're shiny and weird and sticky I'm like what is all this goo it's lantern goo oh all over everything so the plants are all dying the tree I love that tree back there it covers the whole yard it's beautiful it's it's blossomed they're all over the tree looks like herpes and I'd google it I go maybe this is good you never know maybe it's a good jizz a good goo uh and it goes oh you're fucked you got to move you got to kill yourself you got a Lindsay Clancy the kids get the hell out of here you're fucked and so I called a guy and they're coming today uh daisy darmer goo yeah you always have somebody coming over you got a camera security guy a flood guy a phone guy that's what everyone says and and this is what I've been talking about for 20 years because everyone does the thing that you're a big retard if you had if you're renting you're a piece of shit you're flushing your money down the toilet and it would have had this conversation many times many places but it's like but they don't talk about all the parts that don't suck exactly my toilet breaks my AC breaks I call a guy he comes up and does the thing you're on it yeah I know so it's not an investment but I'm living a life without having to fix my AC or my fan or my thing or the other that's true and it's a luxury you don't even think about till you don't have it right you know I did a nick on the wall I moved to desk and I nicked the wall big hole in the wall the size of my asshole you got to get a guy right I got to get a guy to come mixing guys got to come over and patch it find the paint repaint it go to home depot he got a park he hates me I sell him I fuck it up whatever it's the whole thing yeah the flood the roof the insurance the other insurance the flood insurance the home of the fire life house whatever so hey folks I am here to talk about fabletics literally everything I wear except for this you t-shirt is fabletics they've sent me so much stuff killer t-shirt zip yeah putties overhead hoodies whatever you call those things they've sent me so much stuff it's all I wear it's so comfortable it fits well it's great I don't even know what they wrote over here I'm telling you if you seeing me I'm wearing fabletics I can't believe how much stuff they've sent us it's amazing shopping should be easy and that's why we love fabletics finding gear clothes at amazing prices is a breeze with fabletics it really is I can't tell you how easy it is how fast it gets there how quick how good it is he's wearing fabletics I'm wearing fabletics right now love them that's all I wear it's all I wear shop now at fabletics.com I love that shirt I got that shirt it feels so nice it fits nice you look sexy oh yeah stretchy shop now at fabletics.com slash Tuesdays to get 70 to 80% off when you sign up as a new VIP take a quick style quiz and be sure to select Tuesdays when prompted to unlock this offer this is a limited time offer so don't wait don't do it again that's fabletics.com slash Tuesdays for 70 to 80% off everything as a new VIP fabletics.com slash Tuesdays that's an unbelievable deal this is an unbelievable product I'm actually signing off on this product I love it here here Tuesdays of stories brought you by draft kings the super app love draft kings the weight is over football is here hollyelujah and so is draft kings draft kings is now live in all 50 states one app every sport nation wide new draft kings customers sign up with code Tuesdays spend five bucks that's it to get two hundred dollars in rewards within 21 days wow includes all markets that's code Tuesdays in partnership with draft kings the crown is yours gambling problem call 1-800 gambler 1-800 my reset Connecticut call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org on behalf of boot hill casino in Kansas that tax pass through may apply in illinois 21 and over void in canada bet with draft king sportsbook to get bonus bets that expire in seven days or trade with draft kings predictions to get predictions dollars that expire in one year event contract trading involves risk of loss predictions offer void in new york nonwithdrawable rewards issued as fifty dollars click to claims every seven days for 21 days terms at dkng.co/offer limited time offer nation wide based on sportsbook predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability varies by state wow wow these are some some bangers I gotta say this is like a motley crew over here or foreigner or something but that's the they're not like a foreigner like kick them come it is horrific I don't know what got in me well I'm not even burgers last night and a cigar who burger super burgers at the tennis match smoked meat right there and um yeah this guy I found on the grass but oh boy wow this is uh I need to point your ass right at the lantern flies maybe you'll kill some of them point McGoo Mr. McGoo you got to take a look out there for you leave it's wild the lanterns the lanterns the go the leaves yeah well the other thing about buying a house is you're stuck there you're this is your house it's like being married yeah yeah I mean I guess you could sell it at whatever point and it's probably goes up in value whatever I mean the body of Kelly was just talking about he lived in Westchester he bought his house for three hundred fifty thousand sold for seven hundred two thousand that's pretty good not bad but um but yeah with mom donny with the real estate things have shifted so I don't know I like the idea of day house because now the thing is you sign the year lease you're like okay we're good that's over but then you're like well you're gonna start thinking about we're gonna go to year year short huh oh yeah year goes by but sure it does and then you got to make plans way before you can't just be like well the lease is up let's back up and go somewhere yeah yeah yeah but Jack got it so far away let's let's keep it a buck as the kids say a buck uh it's like a keep it a hundred oh I don't know it's stretch but I don't know what that means that's what they say you know 100% keep it real I see keep it a buck uh if you do the Texas the pot is over well we've said this before but how often are you in Austin pretty frequently three times a year more Come on, maybe five, maybe five, okay. And we're gonna record eight apps in a day. - What we're doing two right now, and so many people do, they do four apps in a day. Some people do that. - Well as you know, Stavros will do that. - Yeah, they just do, that's their day. And I'll come to New York quite a bit. - Should you think? - You come to, yeah, I have to. You know, the seller, the thing, the company. - The seller, come on. You don't have to fly up for the seller. It's just 50 minutes from now. - I don't do the seller now. - Exactly. - I live 10 minutes away. - But the podcast, whatever, and you know. - When you travel, you could do three one day, three the next day. That's six weeks, then he comes up three one day, three the next day. - That's true, that's six weeks. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You're like, all right, well, we gotta go do the pot. I'll fly up there. You know, if you're making enough money and having enough fun. - All right. - You come up and go- - Finally dwindling. Okay, you gotta get a smile every time. - You go, all right. - You gotta get an evolution chart. But yeah, you gotta, I gotta go up to your end. I gotta go for chord eight episodes. - Yeah, I don't want it to end. - And by the way- - Neither the folks at home. - Many people, two pods over Zoom, you can't even tell the difference. If you set it up properly, man, a scalco, and what's this to? - Coriely. - They're all Zoom. Sam Harris's podcast is entirely Zoom. - Also Carvee and Spade. - Carvee and Spade's all Zoom. - And they live in the same city, by the way. So, and we did Zoom throughout Coat for a year. The pod blew up. - I know, I'm just saying, the people don't love the Zoom. - But they don't love anything. - That's true. - They don't love people. - Everything we do, they go. - This is gay, you're on the rock side. There's a buzz, he's full of shit. This is bullshit, this shows dead. They talked about their kids. They didn't talk about come. Nobody's happy. - Yeah, I know. January 6th. - How often do you get a thing that's like, dude, Joe is lights out perfect. - Oh, they banged an episode. They did this as an episode. They did that as an episode. Now they're rich, now they're poor, now they're gay. - Yeah. - The last pod, check the comments. And they were some very nice things to say. Like, these guys are on fire. The pod is humming. - You get those, but again, the nice people don't comment. They go, that was a great show. - Well, let me go fuck my wife. - The emails are good and the meet and greet. That's where you get the go. - Oh, love a meet. - The meet and greet is just, oh, that was the best show you guys the best. I listen at work, I almost killed myself, but you fired it into the mic and saved my life. - Yes, that's it. - But as far as Reddit, YouTube, forget about it. - Don't even open it. - You can do anything. I can do the show on your shoulders, juggling dildos that were on fire. And they'd be like, boring. - I know, my buddy Bo, he's a regular guy, not a comedian, lives in New Orleans. He checks the Reddit, just for fun. He loves all that shit. And he's like, what's up? What'd you guys do? And I'm like, what do you mean? He goes, oh, everybody hates you. And I'm like, that's just a Tuesday. I don't know what that is. Like, that's something we didn't just change anything. He's like, oh, they're furious at you guys. Like, calling you, hoping you die and killing your kids and raping your wife. But I'm like, yeah, welcome to Reddit. - No, every error, they're like, this is what it sucks now. It used to be good there. But it's just the natural nostalgia thing. - 'Cause I knew it. - I didn't do it far, the air is polluted. And you're like, yeah, I don't know what to tell you. We're trying the best to put out a show. - I know, I know, we're doing what we can here. - There's a comment about Joe yesterday that was like, Joe and his big fucking Italian mouth. And I was like-- - That was his mouth. - Hey, and his mouth is tiny. There's a double wrong. - Love about his Italian as fucking Leonardo da Vinci. Yeah, there's no Italian in me. - I don't know about that. - Well, whatever, he invented the helicopter, ambulance, whatever. But the parachute. - Yeah, so, yeah, you come to do it. And then now, we're doing an episode. I'm in Texas shooting at the hip. I got cowboy boots. I saw a rogue and I saw Quentin Tarantino was in the green room. He loved us was there. Whatever, you got that crazy stuff. - That's all I see here. - You're getting some kind of hypothetical. - I see what you're saying. - And then this, the episode's what we get together. Now it's like, oh my god, this is amazing. - Right, right. - And that court, there's a court group of gays. - You got that right, buddy. - We could do the show at Black and White, 16 millimeter camera that'd be listening. - Yeah. - It's all these fringe, fray outside people that are always like, I'll never listen again, fucking. - Those cuts are the loudest. That's the problem. Same with society, the Lindsey Clancy ladies are like, fuck you, we like her. I don't care if she killed her kids. They're the loudest. So you go, boy, this country's gonna shit everybody's crazy. And you're like, no, it's just these cuckoo people who get to the top of the Algo 'cause there's drama and spicy. - Right. - And the boring goes down to the floor. It's the same with the comments. - Well, and there's also millions, millions of people have consumed things that never think to write anything. - That's what I'm saying. - Like I'm never like, oh, I got a write a letter and a Martin Scorsese and say, I'm spent 500 hours watching you. I need a piece of you, my father's gay. - But then it seems like, yeah, I'm enjoying it. - Feels like in the '60s, the Beatles got bags of mail about, I love you, I'm in love with your work, you changed my life, I blow you every night, all this and you're like, where's that? - Well, we got messages that are positive. - That's true. - Some messages. - That's true, they got bags of fan mail. - And the Beatles weren't doing meet and greets after shows. - Yeah, that's right. - 300 people lined up going, dude, we love you, that was great, my god, my father's gay. - Right. - And it's all pipes, my father's gay, that's the fan letter. - Yeah, good point. - Well, I'm walking, they go, "Juice gay, that's them going." Hey, I love you, Paul, marry me. - Yeah, yeah, the amount of my father's gay in the comments really warms my cockles. - Yeah. - So if you're a big fan, reach out more and say, hey, keep going, don't kill yourself. Please. - I want to kill myself, almost every day. - You know, I read a stat or something. It said, 47% of your thoughts are things that aren't happening or haven't happened or won't happen. - Right. - 40%, that's half your thoughts, basically, is about shit that I ain't even a thing. - Right. - That's half your life. You live a hundred years, 50 years was spent thinking about some bullshit. - Sure, as night follows day, most things I worry about never happen anyway. - Who's that? Tyson? - Tom Petti. - That's it. There you go. - Yeah. - And if you're worried about something that means it's not happening, because you wouldn't be worried about it, you'd be dealing with it. - Sure. - What's that other one? Today is the tomorrow you were scared of. - Uh-huh. - Hold on. - Yeah, that makes sense. - Today's the tomorrow you were worried about. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - By the way. - By the way, I have this great feeling right now. As soon as we're done with this, I have no obligate, definitely on the calendar until my show Friday. I love that. - Wow. - Like a flight on Thursday. - Great feeling. - Love, I have a flight on Thursday and don't get me wrong. I have plenty to do. Most of you chase the kid around every minute for 30 hours straight. - Write a joke, post a clip. - Yeah, of course. - But there's no I gotta be here. - That is a great fucking feeling. - It's fine. Like even when it's a pleasurable thing, you have that thing in your brain of like, I gotta think, last night, last eight days ago, I was going to the tennis match and I was like, I love tennis more than anything. I'm going to see salacuse, I'm going to see Mark maybe. And you're like, this is going to be my best buddies, my favorite sport and event. And I'm still like, oh boy, I gotta think. I gotta go do a thing. - It's an obligation. - Yeah, I'm sure you guys get out of it, but you know, I stuck strong. - That felt good, boy, when I said that text, boy, that was a great feeling. It's like slipping into a hot tub when you go, I'm not going to make it, they go, I get it. - Ooh, canceling plans is way better than making plans. - Right, well the bad, I mean top area had the great job. The best thing about someone else cancels your plan. - They make a plan and they cancel. - Yeah, he's like, oh, I can't do it. I'll be car wheeling through the streets, great line. But, oh, I remember being a youngster and I bought the Seinfeld DVDs, the behind the scenes of the making and all that, remember those? - Of course. - I was very excited. I was a waiter, I put all my money together. I thought it was not cheap, that box set. DVDs used to be a pretty penny. - Yeah. - So I bought the whole thing and I couldn't wait to put the DVDs in and watch it and learn all about it 'cause all you saw was a sitcom. It came on when it came on, you watched it, you moved on. I didn't know how, you didn't know anything about it with the bloopers, whatever. - Oh, those bloopers were just lunch. So, I'm watching that and at one point, they're talking about the pitch and Jerry and Larry riding it at the diner and I've been hog heaven, I'm jerking off, I've got a boner, I love this shit. And he goes, I remember we got the pitch for the show and I was annoyed and the interview was like, annoyed, you're gonna pitch NBC, you made it. It's the biggest sitcom all the time when you talk about you're a comedian, you're about to get a TV show and he goes, it was at three o'clock, it's the middle of my day. And I remember thinking, oh my god, I love this guy 'cause I always thought of Jerry as like this guy's wearing shirt tucked in, he's a millionaire, he's a real man, he's gets things done and I'm a retard drunk college kid and he's talking about, I don't do a thing in the day. - Right, right. - And I'm like, oh my god, it's really, really, when you find your tribe, it felt like, - That's why I love what you've been doing comedy then. - A Brian Reagan thing where he was like, and he had like the sleep thing, he couldn't wake up, he's got a sleep, still has like sleep condition. He sleeps like 10 hours a day this guy. - Is that right? - Yeah, yeah, he has to go take naps and the whole thing. - Wow. - But he had, when he went to college, all his classes were early in the morning and he kept missing glasses 'cause he was sleeping and he's like, I kind of found out about comedy. He's like 8 p.m. I can be up by that. - Whoa. - He's like, oh, I'll pursue that. - What a great little excuse though, 'cause everybody's like, I slept in, you're a lazy piece of shit, you can't get out of bed, he's like, I have a condition. - Right. - That's kind of nice. - But it was the 70s and 80s. Nobody cared about conditions that. - That's true. - That's a different time. - What condition your condition was in? - They'd be like, you could be like, I have a condition, I'm like, well, I don't care. - Yeah. - Wake up, send the alarm. You're a fucking lazy piece of shit. - Condition is being gay. Anyway, this isn't a Tarantino on Rogan. Tarantino knows his comedy stuff. - No, he's a big con, we know he's regained. And he saw a kidnison before kidnison was anything. - You ever think about that? Sometimes I think about, does Tarantino know who we are? - It's possible. - I mean, I'm sure he knows who like Shane Gillis is. - He definitely knows Shane. - And we're not that far off from him. - Right. - So it's very possible. And we've had things on YouTube, Netflix, Yadda Yadda. - Well, I had this moment. He met Ronhon and Louis, 'cause he lives in Israel, when Ronhon was there with Louis. - Yeah. - They all hung out, had dinner and chat. - That is unbelievable. Imagine that on your Bingo card in 2024, telling you you and Louis and Tarantino in Israel are gonna be having dinner, Ron, to be like, kill me now. - Unbelievable. So, but I think it came up that Ronhon had a movie podcast. So then I'm listening to Quinn Tarantino and Roger Avery on Rogan's podcast. And he starts talking about people that have movie podcasts and he's like, they say idiots, they don't have any append, they don't know what they're talking about, they have no, whatever. And there was a moment where I'm like, is Quinn Tarantino talking about Ronhon and I right now? - It's highly possible. - He hung out with Ronhon and he's talking about morons with movie podcasts that don't know anything about movies. - That's all kind of fits. - I'm like, he could totally be talking about us right now. - Totally. - And the boxes check, it's scary that you're like, the idea of GWT Tarantino listening to me and Ronhon and he's like, these guys are fucking idiots. They don't really shit about anything. - I mean the internet is a, I saw, I don't wanna give this any oxygen, but I saw Seth Rogan on a podcast with somebody big, another guy, another actor. And they were talking about the Kill Tony guy who does headberg. And I was like, oh my God. This thing made it to them, but why wouldn't it? It's you open your phone, you're getting shit sent to you. - Yeah, they have the same internet that we have. - They have the same fucking Algo phone bullshit. - Yeah. - But you think of these people as like, space aliens from another planet? - Even right now I'm talking about this. People are like, there's no way Quinn Tarantino is talking about your podcast, but I'm like, he met Ronhon. He knows Ronhon. The algorithm, you show, you look up. - He loves comedy. - And we had Louie on. - So that's big. - Oh yeah. - He knows. - He could be like, oh, his Louie CK talking about Paul Thomas Anderson. And he sees us two fucking blabber idiots. - He's definitely talking about you guys. I mean, it's a lock. But I remember thinking that when I first, I think it was Chris Rock. It was like in the steps at the seller. And this may sound weird, but maybe people can understand like, he's like looking at his phone. And you're like, oh wow. There's Chris Rock's phone. He has the same phone that I have. Like there's not a special iPhone for celebrities. - No. - And he's got like, you know, he's just sending a text. And you're like, wow, there's Chris Rock sending a text. - Yeah. - He's, people are texting Chris Rock. He's a normal guy. - He's just like us. - He's looking at Instagram. Stuff's popping up on his thing. - Yeah. - I mean, he gets, oh. Rory Scoville has this special. It's popped up on my Netflix. - Right. - That has to cross his desk. - Well, that's like Louie when I first met Louie. He was like, your show lit. He's like, you got the podcast with Mark Norman. You guys are good together. You're funny. - That's insane. - I was like, yeah, yeah. - Well, it just doesn't make sense that this guy would know who we are. - I agree. And then that was before you even worked with him, right? That was really good. - Yeah, I met him, yeah. - Wow. And then the craziest one of all time. And I think we've talked about this before. Is the nor Mcdonald email or message or DM that I believe you got. - Yeah. - Well, it was a tweet DM, I think. And he said, I'm thinking about doing a movie about me and Adam being idiots. And I want you to play Adam. - Yes. - And your buddy, your idiot friend over there with the guy I'm here to play me. - Yes. - And you show man, I was like, it's too much. It's like seeing your dad blow your brother. You're like, wait, wait, wait. I don't want to see my dad blow anybody, but that was my brother. It's too many layers. - It's crazy. - I'm stuck in a box. - It doesn't make any sense. And it stops you chirping. I mean, you're just buddies with Seinfeld though. I mean, think about Seinfeld out of that, that's it. Think about how nuts that is. - That is Kuku. It's like the Seinfeld thing where he meets Bill Cosby. And he's like, I can't believe life is this long. - Like that I can meet you. - Jerry Seinfeld's in the booth. Adamette's game being like, I like this Mark Norman guy. He doesn't make any sense. - The whole thing's bananas. That's why I shared it on every platform. I put it on every internet thing because I was like, this is otherworldly. - It doesn't make sense. - Where we're beyond the world. We're surreal. This is beyond real. - Well, it's crazy. But then you realize you're like, it makes sense because we're the guys that have been doing comedy for 20 years, 25 years, high level. We're the headliner guys. - Yeah, that's true. - So it's like, it makes sense for somebody that loves comedy to be aware of comedians that are doing well. - Yeah, well, you know what it hit me, two things. 'Cause you think of yourself, I'm just a child where we're in dumb clothes and we're talking to a microphone, we're farting, we're talking about jizz. You forget, I'm 42. Like Jim Norton or whatever was 42 when I started, or whatever, or Bill Burr or these guys. And now we're 42. And I'm sitting here and you catch yourself going, these fucking young comics doing this shit, you're like, oh, that's what they did to us. - Right. - Now I'm doing, I remember Bobby Kelly was like, you're too skinny, you fucking whole, I'll come to you too skinny and I'm like, oh, I don't know, but, but he was, he was giving me shit and I was like, I'm so sorry, Mr. Kelly, you know what? I was like, just happened to be sitting at the table. And then after a while, you realize like, you're giving this guy a shit like, oh, you're just trying to get clips, you pussy, whatever, and I'm like, I'm doing it now. - Right, right. - That was one. And then the other one is when you're at a club and they show a video. You ever have the club that show a video and you're in the video commenting on the club? - Right. - It's you on a couch going, oh, I fucking love Sideswaters, that's a great club, check me out, you're gonna love this. That's one of the best clubs in the country. And I'm like, you're so, what's the word, prestigious? - Sure. - Enough that, oh, we got a clip of this guy. - Right, right. - It's, that's not prestigious, but, you're relevant. - You're, your word is good enough. - Prominent. - Prominent, yeah, but, you're vouching. - Vouch. - Vouch, that's the word. - Your vouchy. - Vouchy. - Yes, voucho marks. - Your vouch is a big deal. - You're right. - And that's when I was sitting there about I was watching the video in the club I had to watch the opener go on and I'm like, oh wow, that's, that's kind of nice. - Right. - Your vouch is something. - Vouch. - Yes. - Winning the vouch. - No. - Cool. - Pooch, I don't know. - Oscar the vouch. - There you go. - Okay, that's good. - Yeah, I met the buzzer. - All right, wow, this was crazy. - Speaking of clubs, where are you gonna be? - I don't know. - Mouch. - Where are my side splitters? - October 1st to the 3rd, Tampa, BT's the man. Fill it out for you, Helium, buy those up. October 22nd to the 24th. And what the fuck else do I have? A couple other things. Raleigh, North Carolina, coming back to Raleigh. - That's a great club. - Love Raleigh and New Hampshire. I'm doing a show in New Hampshire. And join PunchUpLive.com. Oh, I wanted to plug this. Dan Belger, we're shooting a special producing, directing a special for Dan finally. Place called Deepcuts, October 12th. That's in Boston or it's in Melrose or Medford or one of those places. I don't know. Cambridge, maybe, Boston. I don't know where it is. Buy those tickets up. That's the name of the venue. It's gonna be like a small thing. We're doing two shows. - One of the funniest guys. - He's one of the best and he doesn't have a special. So, we're shooting a special. - It's about fucking time and you get to be involved. - Yeah, so it's gonna be a great thing. I'll probably do a little warm up on there. So come see the show and definitely buy those up. Do it. - Yes. I'm coming all over your face. Calgary, Winnipeg, Regina. I'm going all over all over the Canada area. Portland, Helium, all kinds of good stuff. Connecticut doing the casino at Fox Woods and punch up Odega Cat Patreon. Get on the Patreon. It's cooking. It's time I'm about to do a bonus right now. And what do you got there? Chuck E. Cheese. - Check out my podcast. Fund bearable. If you haven't checked it out, Joe has been on. We talked about me jizzing all over my desk. - Nice. - Mark has been on. We talked about the N word cake. - Oh. - Is that a story? - No. - It's our chocolate cake. - It's bananas. - It's a big cake. - It's a big cake. - Another time where we talked about the history of Tuesdays. How we built the Patreon is a great time. Go to fundbearablepod.com and you'll be able to check those out under special guests. It's a good time. - That's going to be fun. - Oh yeah. - Oh, I forgot too. Last second, I'm doing the tunnels to towers race. September, is that this weekend 27th? - Few tunnels. - You can donate to the tunnels to towers under my, I think, Joe list, team, the small stuff. And throw some money towards these firefighter men. - Oh. - Yes, I love the firefighter. - Yeah. - All right. There you go. - Firefighters, you tunnel. Ash. Okay. All right. We'll see you all later. Shouldn't put that one in. We'll see you next week. God, buddy. (upbeat music)