#67 Five ways to Make Him Chase you! - Be Smart Play Dumb

Understanding How Women Lose Power in Relationships Hello everyone, and welcome back to another brand new episode of Be Smart, Play Dumb. Well, teach you how to play the game of life because if you don't know how to play, ladies, you already know what's going to happen. You will get played. Welcome back to the very first episode of 2026. As you can tell by my big smile, I'm so excited to be here. And we're finally bringing back the video episodes because the demand for this was insane. You guys have been blowing up my emails, my DMS and everyone's like, when is the video episodes coming back? And girls, here we are. We're locked in for 2026. And also brought a very exciting topic. And also I'm very professional now because I've brought my iPad with notes for you, OK, because we're levelling up this year. And today's topic is actually something that has been going on TikTok lately, something I've spoken about in previous episodes. But I think I want to do a little bit more of a deep dive today. So get your notes out, pens and papers and listen up because class is in session, OK? Today's topic is all about why you as a woman lose power in your relationships, but also how to get it back. OK, so listen to the and because I'm gonna give you 5 psychological steps to finally step back into your blackhead energy and remember who the freak you are, okay? Because a lot of you are so in love with a man and end up chasing him and all of a sudden lose your spot on a pedestal. Lose your spot as the prize, the dream girl, the blackhead, and become the loyal golden retriever, happily chasing and running after him even though you started off on a pedestal. And I know that you know what I'm talking about. Because in the beginning, when you first met him, he was all over you. You weren't even fully interested. He was the one chasing, he was the one pursuing, you were the one sometimes ghosting. You were the 1 going about your day, doing your own thing. And then all of a sudden, you know he won you over, as it should be. So, you know, it felt like a reward for him being with you because you finally gave in. But then because you love a girl and you're so emotional and he's so amazing, and you fall deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and love. And also because you're a woman, you have that maternal sort of instinct to be nurturing and more empathetic and sensible and sensitive. You lost focus of your own life, and your life's focus is now him and the relationship. And if you would now take him away as the center of your world, you're not really left with much when it comes to your friendships, your purpose, your work, even your mental clutter, your mental headspace, even your emotional well-being or happiness. It all evolves around him, right? So you look forward to the weekends because you want to spend time with him, not because it's the weekend and you want to do something for you and then he's a positive add on or buy product, but because you want to be with him. There's a psychological attachment here. OK? So I know that a lot of you, because I work with a lot of you one-on-one, do fall into the psychological trap. And today we will be speaking about how to get yourself out of it. Now, let me open my notes because I actually wrote down some dot points on a very famous celebrity couple that I've been speaking about two days ago on my TikTok channel because it was the Golden Globes and Kylie Jenner attended with her now boyfriend, Timothy Chalamet. I don't know how to pronounce his last name, Timothy Chalamet. Timothy, if you're watching this, I'm sorry, but these two are head over. He's in love. And there's some clips which we're going to roll here in the background in a second. There's some clips of them where she sitting at the table. She also looks dropped dead gorgeous. She's definitely giving radiant blackhead energy. But she's very much for herself. You know, you can tell by her body language that she's focused on herself. She sits straight, she's confident. She looks down at the table sometimes she's on her phone. He's the man of the hour. He won one of the awards, but she's not all over him. And funnily enough, even in the body language, as you can see in the video, even in the body language, if you're not all over a man and you hold your own and you're on yourself, your man wants to chase you. Now what do I mean by this? Women lead relationships emotionally, we actually lead. OK, I know it's contradictory to popular belief and people always tell you otherwise, but this is just my opinion, OK? This is part of my coaching as well. User will need to realize you set a standard for your relationship. If you value yourself, he will value you. If you focus on yourself and you become your own dream girl, he will think the same of you. If you focus on him, he will focus on him. OK, so now look at the body language between the two. Look at how he is leaning in on her. He's all over her. He's the one touchy feely with her and she's kind of, you know, enjoying it. She's not bitchy about it, sassy, cold or give silent treatment. She does engage with him, but it's not all over him. OK now if we go a few months back and I got a lot of shit for that. OK, I've uploaded a video on TikTok stating something different about these two, which by the way, little disclaimer, I was always rooting for them. I think he's great for her. I wish them all the best. I think they look very much in love and I think it's a very healthy relationship. But Kylie Jenner is a lover girl, which a lot of you can relate. This is why this is a great example for you. OK, so if we now look at this, contrast this other video and the body language, she's all over him. Girl, what are you doing? She is all over him. She's like touchy fee. She wants to kiss him and he's just there. You know, he couldn't care less. You can tell that he doesn't you her physical touch. Because here is a very big rule, very important life lesson you need to remember. The more you give him your physical touch, your attention, your presence almost for free, and you force it onto him, the less he will value it. Why? Because men value things that are rare to them. The less you give it to him, for example, now with this body language example, the video of the Golden Globes, the less she gives the presence, the attention, the physical touch to him, the more it becomes rare. Now that it is rare to him, because he's logically like a hunter, you know, he likes to chase, he likes to compete. Men have big egos. They always want to be the best at things. They always want to win things over. They always want to compete with their own ego, their own mind, and prove to them how great they are. So all of a sudden, if you present him a mental challenge because you're not easy, you're not always available, you're not physically all over him, you are rare, Your tension, your presence, your physical touch, you love all of it. So he wants it more, OK, You need to deprive him of it so he becomes interested again. So this is very important because So why am I saying the whole time this is important? Let's just let's just pause you for a second. Everything is important, OK? You can tell I'm very passionate about this topic because I think we as women have understood or learned or been conditioned that if somebody, somebody pulls away or if he doesn't give us attention, like we should do more for him. We should chase harder, we should become more convenient. We should just impress him and lean into that chase more. But the more you chase a man, the less he chases you and the more he will probably pull away and the more he will lose respect for you. It's just we're different for reason, you know? Mastering the Archetypes of Attraction and Independence So let's talk about to quickly refresh your memory because some of you might be new here. Also my YouTube channel like and subscribe. Let's quickly touch base again on the two archetypes that I've come up with and the Blackhead theory, right. So in Kylie's case, she basically went from the logo on the tree were chasing him and giving him all of the attention focus of her life, which you know, she's a lover girl. They were still freshly together. They weren't super official yet. They weren't on the red carpet together yet. Maybe she didn't feel super safe with him in the beginning. So she really overcompensate and put so much of her attention on him because she didn't fully feel like she could surrender into her passive strong feminine energy for him to come her way. So she was stuck in her golden retriever energy. So in the beginning, she was always seeking validation. She was always engaging physical touch 1st. And now it's shifted and maybe she saw my videos. OK, Kylie, if you see this like and subscribe, maybe she saw my videos. Actually, a lot of people messaged me yesterday after reviewing their relationship dynamic again, they were like, she's definitely seen your videos and Haley be with it too. So girls, you're welcome. So now she's back in her Blackhead energy. Why? Because she probably remembered who the freak she is. A lot of you also forget who the freak you are. And then the moment comes when you actually remember yourself worth and what you bring to the table and who you are and that you carry one of the most magnetic and powerful energies in the universe. Literally the ability to create life whether you choose to or not. OK, The essence of that she this world, what makes the world go round. Remember who you are. Do not ever lose your spot on the pedestal. Do not ever chase a man. If he pulls away, pull away louder. OK, so quickly back to the archetypes. The golden retriever is over explaining, emotionally available constantly without any boundaries because she focuses more on the other person than on themselves. The golden retriever seeks reassurance, is always making herself convenient because she doesn't want to wrestle any feathers and you know she's a people pleaser and she just wants to fit in because she's so scared of judgement. Golden retriever energy also goes further than just your interpersonal relationships in the romantic setting. It's also platonic relationships, family, work, business, strangers you meet in the street, how you show up for yourself and how you show up for this. OK, now the black cat and embodying blackhead energy is very much independent emotionally, financially, physically, mentally, and therefore detached from the outcome of the relationship. This is the best sort of description I can give you because people always ask me, but what is the black cat like? Does it mean that you have like black cat eye makeup in the winged liner? No, that looks hot. OK, I get it. But it's not really about that, OK? It's not about what you wear. It's not about how you look. It's all about a mindset, a energy, the woman that is the least dependent on the outcome of a situation, whether it is a job interview, your toxic family system, a relationship commitment to a man. A woman that can stay detached from the outcome of any of these scenarios because she holds her own is the black cat. Because it gives you ultimate mental freedom to have choices in your life and choose men situations as you want to put yourself into. Business opportunities, jobs, career moves, goals. You can choose. You do not have to chase. The golden retriever is attached on the outcome of any situation they put themselves into. They walk into a room, will they like me or not? Oh my God, I need to dress a certain way so I can fit in. The golden retriever is attached and dependent on the outcome of a job interview. I desperately need this job. I really need to make money girl, I get it. I've been also in positions where I had $10 to my name. OK, some of you have been listening to my podcast for years and you know my whole background story. So I get it when you're almost desperate for something because you're coming from a deficit. But you can be in a situation of need and want and wanting to better yourself and coming from a place of deficiency. That's just factual. That's OK. But you shouldn't come then into the mindset of I'm so desperate for an outcome that I don't see any other opportunities or options I have and I lose myself in the chasing process because that is how you lose. You will always lose because you become more vulnerable for other people to take advantage of you, men to take advantage of you, business opportunities, toxic jobs, narcissist abusers. Because you're desperate, because you're dependent on the outcome, people will take advantage of it because you become vulnerable. You don't have your own resources that you can fall back on your own feet just like a cat. You know, I thought about this the other day when a cat jumps off a building. You know how people always say cats, for some reason, no matter how high they jump or how deep they fall, they always land on their own 2 feet? And that right there's also like a beautiful analogy with my theory because that's what I always try and teach you. No matter how deep you fall, you know, and whatever life throws up at you, the black cat archetype always lands on her own 2 feet. No matter how much hardship she encounters, no matter how much trauma she encounters, no matter how much heartbreak or betrayal, she always finds her way back. So just remember that the blackhead energy or the blackhead archetype is not here to make you immune against betrayal or Amen cheating on you or heartbreak. It doesn't make you immune to the human experience, OK. It will not guarantee you to find a man that's going to love you for the rest of your days. It will guarantee you self-sufficient thinking and independent happiness even outside of your relationship. While you can still share your life with Amen. And the key here is if you men then decides to walk out on you one day, your happiness was actually placed up on yourself, not on him. So it is easier for you to let him leave, to let him walk away. Because your life, your happiness, your world, the center of your focus was not him or the marriage or relationship, but yourself. And he was a positive byproduct, A-Team player, a positive at on a nice little accessory. OK but you are the main character so we just spoke about the go on the retriever blanket archetype and how much damage it can do to you as a woman in the relationship when you do get stuck. And you go on the retriever energy. When you do forget who you are. Even though you started off as his dream girl and all of a sudden he settles with you. You know he doesn't take you out anymore. He doesn't give you gifts, he doesn't surprise you. You always sit on the couch watching Netflix together. He gets bored. He doesn't even want to have sex with you anymore. Like it gets to a point where you just feel not seen, not hurt, not appreciated. And then you scroll on TikTok and social media, very toxic by the way, and compare yourself and say Oh my God, all of these girls are getting so much money da da da. Let me tell you, I'm losing my train of thought. It's a whole different topic. But let me tell you, when half of the women you see online being spoiled with thousands of dollars in Ms. Birkins left right and center, half of them are escorts. OK, so of course you can, you know, compare certain situations, but stay to facts, OK? Don't create weird sort of scenarios in your mind and compare yourself to other women, other people's relationships. You never know the behind the scenes. Always compare your relationship and how you feel in it with your own life's happiness, with your single individual persona, how you were before you entered this relationship or marriage or commitment, who you were, how you showed up, how you handled yourself, how happy you were, the things you engaged. And compare yourself to that version of yourself. Always compare yourself to yourself, whether it's the past version of you or future version of you. Don't compare yourself or compete with other people. Even with me, I always compete with the past version of myself. I'm going to become richer, happier, more beautiful, more smart, more wise. Like I want to impress my younger self, not anyone else, you know? Which again helps you to embody this mindset of I'm not dependent on anyone, I'm only dependent on myself. And that makes you incredibly strong and disciplined. So now if we recognize you're the golden retriever all of a sudden completely losing the power in your relationship, let me tell you there is a way out. How Emotional Containment Makes Him Chase You Again So I'll give you 5 different psychological tactics or lessons you can implement. If you're watching this right now and you're like I need my man to step up his game again, OK, I'm tired, I want him to do the work. I'm drained, I'm exhausted. I'm fixing everything. I'm that she's sending his mother-in-law flowers for her birthday. He can't even sign on the card. I'm organizing the holidays. I'm so sad. I want him to step up his game. Whatever. If you watching this, just please let me tell you, if you're in a healthy relationship and this man loves you and he's healthy and he's masculine, you just conditioned him the wrong way. You conditioned him. He's the prize. If that is the case, you can always flip the dynamic because what did I say in the beginning of this episode? You lead the relationship emotionally where your focus goes, energy flows. You conditioned him. He's the prize because you always focus on him. So you made him a believer that he is the prize if you focus on yourself and you draw back all of this attention and energy from him and put it on you. You condition him. I am the prize. OK? So just remember that disclaimer, this will not work with abuser, sociopaths, narcissists, OK? My coaching methods and everything always is based on you already being with a healthy man OK fingers crossed. I hope so. Otherwise, leave immediately, please. OK. The reason I also showed you the example of Kylie Jenner and Timothy is because she proved to you it is possible to change. When I reviewed them first in the video where she's clingy and needy and desperate for him, she obviously forgot who she was. And then a few months, years, I don't know how long it's actually been, don't quote me on that, but a few months. Let's stick to that. Later at the Golden Globes, he's all over her. So relationship dynamics can't change. So please don't, you know, overwhelm yourself and let yourself down further mentally and become all anxious and further insecure and further depressed and sad of how he's not chasing you. Remember your power. Remember how much power you hold, The most sensual, seductive, feminine energy. Step back into that, OK? You can have anything you want. OK, so step number one, to remember who you are and yourself worth and yourself respect and dignity is to embody emotional containment. It is also principle #1 of Blackhead energy. And it is emotional supremacy. But let's not even go as far as talking about supremacy. Let's stick to just emotional containment. If you don't react, it unnerves him. If he doesn't react, as we saw in Kylie's Timothy's video, if he doesn't react, it unnerves you, right? Because it gives you uncertainty. Where do I stand with him? Like why doesn't he give me an overly emotional reaction? Why doesn't he engage in my physical touch? Why doesn't he react to it or respond to it? If you don't respond, it unnerves the other person because you're kind of pulling away the carpet underneath your feet because you're not giving them a reaction and they cannot read you. So think about it. He's been probably doing it to you because you conditioned him that he's very safe with you. He feels so comfortable that he doesn't need to chase you or react or respond or engage because you became so predictable in your emotional or even physical demeanor. You became so predictable that he's just there like, yeah, OK. Like, you know, that's just the way she is. So if you remove that, whether it's the physical touch, the closeness, the presence, even eye contact constantly being on him, turn towards him. If you remove that and even the emotional engagement or affirmation of I love you so much, you're so handsome. If you remove all of that, it'll become unpredictable again. It in good nights the spark a little bit again. It all of a sudden unnerves him because he thinks what has changed something's different and not speaking about you becoming cold and manipulative. Please this is so important. A lot of you misunderstand my blackhead energy theory and the psychological dynamic and how relationships can shift if you pull back. Pulling back does not mean you become a see you next Tuesday rude, manipulative, cold. You ignore him. That's not fun to chase. That's not even a reward. That's when he's going to pull back harder and both of you are just coexisting and become roommates. OK, conversation over and relationship doomed. So just focus on yourself while still being kind, while still being engaging with him, just not as much anymore. OK, so here's a relapse scenario for you. I'm going to take my notes. Here's a relapse scenario for you've all been through. He suddenly becomes distant. You notice the shift in his energy. He's replying shorter, he's busy at work, he's staying out later, he's hanging out with his guy friends. Whatever it is, he takes hours to respond. Not really a lot of explanation. So if we now implement lesson #1 to get your power back, emotional containment, a lesson the golden retriever has not learnt, the golden retriever would double text because she's not emotionally contained. Because remember her emotional well-being or her emotional state is dependent on him. So if he doesn't give her reassurance, her emotional state is disrupted. So a golden retriever woman without the text, hey, are you OK? She will overanalyze his tone. Why isn't he sending me emojis? Tries to fix the situation. Because if a golden retriever woman recognizes there's a deficit, there's space, there's absence, there's a void being crated in the relationship to him, she fixes it and that right, there's a problem and you can literally see it. This is all psychological, what I'm speaking about, but you can see it in people's body language. So please refer to the videos I'm showing you with Kylie and Timothy because obviously I don't know what's going on behind the scenes with them. You know, you can't just label a relationship on videos or photos or whatever, but it kind of is a good add on for what I'm teaching you psychologically. If he pulls away, do not come his way and try to force love and attention and reaffirmation from him because what you're chasing from him is what you can actually give yourself. That's what the black cat does. The black cat knows, OK, he's pulling away. He's busy. Whatever he's got going on, I actually don't care because I'm busy painting my nails anyway. The golden retriever will think I don't hear from him, he's changing, he doesn't love me anymore. Spiral, spiral, spiral. I need to fix it. I'm a people pleaser. I need to fix it because I'm the golden retriever. I want my own affirmation of feeling safe because I can't give myself emotional safety. So I'm going to force it on him. See how this is almost like a projection of your own desires you force onto him? What do you actually want from him in return? But you don't receive it. So if you give it to yourself, he will give it to you. OK, so the black cat notices the shift, does not confront it immediately because a, she's too busy. Girls, like, come on, you know, we're grown woman. We already making money. We already looking cute. We already putting together a cute little wardrobe. It's 2026. We're entering Anna Cristina's new mentorship on how to build a following, how to monetize it, how to build a brand, how to make a man phone laugh, how to seduce him, how to step into your feminine energy. OK, we are busy. So she does not confront it immediately. She just observes. She continues her routine. She responds calmly, briefly or later, and she does not chase the clarity because she can give herself the clarity. Just remember, you can always give a man the benefit of the doubt. This is how you stay safe. Always give him the benefit of the doubt. Let him get away with it, almost pretend like you didn't notice. And if it happened once, you know, maybe it was an accident. Maybe he did have to stay longer after work. Maybe he had to do something. Maybe his spontaneity went golfing with Jonathan that he hasn't seen in 20 years, you know, and then you're on the safe side. But you know, if you now throw a huge tantrum on things, you lose your power over something that maybe at the end of the day, today was just him staying back after work. And then you look like a fool and you actually once again conditioned him that he's the prize #2 We kind of touched on this already. But the black cat understands that she has detachment from the outcome. She wants him, but she doesn't need him. The Power of Detachment and Saying Less to Attract Very important. OK. You can love a man deeply. You can have emotional connection to also, you know, friends, family. You can be such a sensitive and sensible person. Even, you know, a lot of you look to me as a mentor. And I am a mentor to you. And I work with you one-on-one. And I hear your problems and I love what I do and I'm very passionate about it, as you can tell. But I also feel very deeply. I think sometimes this gets lost because I have a very sharp tongue. I'm very fiery in my approach and how I communicate, but I feel that I'm connected to everyone and everything deeply, but I'm detached from everything. There's a big difference between the two. OK, so the golden retriever brings up repeatedly where the relationship is going. So if you think about the detachment versus attachment in relationships or dating, the goal in Achiever always asks where you know this is going and what the future holds and wants. Constantly this affirmation of that he loves her even though he shows her in actions, he might not tell her all the time because men are not super verbal, are they? So she just constantly chases that affirmation because she's attached. The black head doesn't pressure or force clarity. She goes about her life. She goes about her day. And if he chooses her, great. If he doesn't, also great. She always chooses herself. She's never attached to him on outcome or commitment or loyalty or whatever, OK. She always focuses more on herself. Lesson #3 how to get your power back. Saying less and meaning more. Because silence makes him fill the gaps. The more you talk, the more you explain, the more you're emotional. First of all, you're giving your cards away. Because when you're overly emotional, when you talk so much, you usually tell them all of the things that normally should be interpreted by him, between the lines, between the sentences. You don't say. You don't give him mystery or the spark or the attraction or the mental challenge he wants to conquer. You give him a lot of clarity. In fact, you give him comfort. In fact, you probably bore him out of his mind because you constantly reaffirm how much you love him. And look, ladies, not only because you you're telling him that you love him. Maybe it's not even that, but just the emotional affirmation of constantly telling him about your day and approaching him with every single problem you encounter and just constantly needing to share every single detail of what you've been through. And even that while they're not emotional affirmations of how much you love him, there's still things where you just completely letting him into your world. It's OK to hold back on a few things. And before anybody toxic is twisting my comments, whatever. You can love a man, you can trust him, and you can share your freaking pain with him. And it should be healthy in a relationship to trust your partner and share vulnerable stories with them. But not all the time. OK? So remember to sometimes also give short responses. Have a neutral tone. You don't always have to explain every single plain detail. You can always, you can sometimes, excuse me, you can sometimes pull back even in a conversation. See how I'm very present with you and very focused eye contact, strong body language because I'm very much engaged with you. You could lean back with him. I hope you can still hear me. You can lean back, you know, let your eyes wander, like get a little, get into your own world. Don't be like full on and like, you know, don't be like me right now in a live podcast with everyone, with like thousands of people watching and listening, like with him. You can be like that. You can be present and super engaged and have fun, but then remove that energy. Look around, you know, get obsessed with yourself. Check yourself out in the mirror, fix your lipstick #4 becoming inconvenient. Cultivating Internal Fulfillment and Strategic Inconvenience Something a lot of you already know because I've spoken about this last year a lot. There's also a course I've brought out seven days Overcome people pleasing in seven days. How to speak up, how to be inconvenient, how to say no, how to set boundaries, how to use your tonality. Because you can go up in your voice or you can go down. You can finish certain sentences with a question and go up again, or you can finish it as a statement. And how you can really alter your appearance as a woman, your verbal appearance and perception, how you are perceived through your voice and your tonality and your speech. And I think as women, it's very important to be smart and witty and a strong talker because that's how we verbally communicate it, who we are and how we want to be perceived right and respected. So with being inconvenient and all of a sudden in a relationship reconditioning him that you're the prize. I'll give you some examples. I mean, by being inconvenient that you're not rearranging your entire life and your schedule around him. You're not going to cancel on your girls to see him. You're not going to give up on your Pilates, on your workout routine, on your gym to hang out in the evening with him and go for cocktails. If you're in the room with your man and your girlfriends call and they say, Oh my God, I miss you so much. Why don't we do Cougars night Friday And you say it sounds fun, but let me run this past Jonathan because I don't know, like we might have plans. You are the golden retriever. Why are you asking your man for validation and if it's OK for you to go out? He notices these things. Trust me trust me trust me trust me. These are the tiny micro expressions and everyday things you might not be fully aware of that you do and how you interact with him or people around you that literally let him know. Oh I've got all the control over her. She's like my golden tree, but I'm walking her like a dog. I've got all the power. She would happily betray her friends from me or cancer on her friend. She would happily give up her own life purpose, career, goals, Pilates, workout routines, whatever hobbies, whatever it is. She happily gives up all of these things for me. I must be great. I'm that guy, you know That's what you teach him. Not because you constantly emotionally affirm how great he is, but through your actions and how you show up for yourself. OK, last but not least, internal fulfillment. This is the last step to finally convert from golden retriever to Blackhead energy and finally get your power back. So the internal fulfillment, I'm going to break it down for you what it actually means. She doesn't need him to feel whole. So this is leaning also on emotional supremacy, but also your mental clarity, your mental focus, your purpose, how you spend your time and your lifestyle. If your man becomes your lifestyle, if your man becomes your world, if your man becomes your hobby, if your man becomes your social circle, if your man becomes your routine and your emotional reaffirmation and safe space all in one, what are you left with if this man cheats on you with his five years younger secretary? What are you left with if after 20 years, as many sides believe, what are you left with when he always piggybacked of you, when he had the globe routine, when he was always taken out to dinners, when he always got, you know, focused on and complemented and lifted up and conditioned that he's so great? So pull all of the energy and the reaffirmation of how great he is and the emotional fulfillment you find in a relationship with him. Try to flip the script and put it back into yourself by completely reinventing yourself. OK, it's 2026. It's also a new year. What a great time to just step back into your power and find new hobbies, find friendships and networks outside of your relationship, outside of your man's identity and your man's circle. Find new purpose. Create a side house to start a business. Because it also makes him respect you more. It will also make him more attracted to you because you become more of a rare commodity. Men like and respect women who center themselves because it makes them feel like it's a reward being with her because she happily chooses herself over him. So a man will not feel that it's a reward being with you when you're constantly on his side anyway and your entire life is focused on him. It almost feels like a burden, you know? So I'll give you some examples here one more time. There's a scenario. Let's say he pulls back emotionally and seems unsure and he spends time away from the relationship. He rather hangs out with his guy friends. He's not the one starting new hobbies. He's not the one maybe even starting a new course or studies or whatever. He develops himself. He even changes. Maybe he has a glow up. Some woman get very unsettled then because for women it's like, well, what is he working towards? So is he working towards a new partner? Like is he mentally checked out What's going on? You know, for a lot of women this is very unsettling. When I see a man or partner levelling up because the golden tree were things, he's not levelling up for me, he's leving up for someone else. The black cat knows he can do whatever the freak he wants. OK, He can wash his face with a three in one shampoo, lotion, conditioner thing. He can, he can do, he can have a glow up, he can have a new wardrobe, he can do whatever he wants. And it's either for me to impress me or just for himself. But also I'm mentally so detached from the outcome that I don't care. So the golden retriever, her anxiety will spike. Her mood depends on his attention. Very important. I'm going to say that one more time. Her mood depends on his attention, The expectations that she places on him mentally that he doesn't even know about. So many women get also exhausted and drained and so sad and so hurt and betrayed if they place expectations for date night, the weekend, birthday gifts, surprises on the holidays, whatever it is. They place like almost unexpectional expectations on a man and his behavior, his actions, he will not fulfill it because maybe she pressured him into it. And you know, as soon as you tell a man what to do, it's going to go in here, going to go out there. He doesn't listen. And so then she feels betrayed, hurt and disappointed. It's just this very bad and toxic cycle. The black cat self soothes staying up late, if he finds some new guy friends, if he has a glow up, if he wants to move somewhere, if you want, whatever it is OK. She doesn't really get affected that much. And again, we can stick to facts here. Of course it's sad if all of a sudden your partner needs to move away for a job. Of course it's sad if you know your man changes and has less time for you. Like of course you know you're human being, you're allowed to feel, but it shouldn't completely rattle your entire being and existence and drive you into depression. Like girl, what's happening? OK, you need to know how to self soothe and redirect the focus back on you. OK, he's leveling up. Why am I not leveling up? Why am I not finding new friendship circle? Why am I not starting a little business? Why am I not starting things for me outside of the relationship? Because he is. He's reading books, he's having a glow up, he's becoming fitter, he's eating better. What are you doing? Don't become the all investigative. Oh my God, what is he doing? Do the same to you. Make him guess, make him feel why she looks so good. Why is she leaving the house, hanging out with the girls, having this cute little dress on and high heels? I'm a man, I'm territory, I'm protective. I don't want to look good around other man. I'm going to come with her. I'm going to claim what's mine. You need to know how to trigger the masculine instinct to protect you, not to compete, not to outwork you. And then you become roommates. Stay in your feminine energy. Know how to get into his mind and how to control it. Because the blackhead does know how to control a man's mind. She stays grounded because she knows his behavior reflects him, not her value. Therefore she becomes emotionally self-sustaining. My loves, what a beautiful episode. OK, we're coming to the end now. Actually, we are at the end. If you listened or watched today's episode, thank you so much. You deserve an award. Welcome to 2026. Welcome to Season 3. I'm so excited and I would love, love, love to hear your feedback. If you're loving the video episodes, I most definitely am loving it. So if you want to have different topics next time, if you like the setting, if you like the lighting, if you have any feedback whatsoever, even on whatever the audio quality, whatever it is, please share it with me in the comments. But also let me know if you like the celebrity reviews or if you prefer the psychological lessons. If you do like the celebrity reviews, what do you want to see more of? What's like another couple, maybe quick suggestion, Alex Earle, Brexit barriers, we could go and analyze them because there was a little fling or situation in some bars between Alex Earle and Tom Brady. Spicy. I already have my opinions on it. So if you request to see my opinion and my psychological analysis, let me know in the comments. But that's it. Thank you so much for watching. Thanks so much for listening. I love you all. Welcome to 2026 and I'll talk to you next week. Bye bye.