#668 - Cristina Mariani

Just a reminder that busboys the movie is available to stream at home on Apple TV, Prime Video, YouTube. You can see all the options at busboysmovie.com. Make sure to go ahead and check that out. We've also got some DVDs available if you're into that. And thank you to anyone and everyone who helped support our movie, amen. Today's guest is a standup comedian out of Austin, Texas. You may know her from Killtony and from her tour, currently in America and in a Europe as well next year. I had a great time getting to know the hilarious Miss Christina Mariani. Thank you for coming and thank you for adjusting your time or whatever was going on in your car. Oh yeah, thanks for having me. You know, for a second, I thought you meant you were going to do my podcast. And then I was like, why would he, he didn't know about that. Click later. That's why I asked if you could do it in the evening. Oh, really? Yeah. I'm glad that you would think about me being on there. I don't know what had to wear here. What do you think? What do you think? What do you think if you had to pick a hat for a guy that's sitting in here? That's one. Okay. I think I'd like that one more. You like this one more? Yeah. You look tan. What do you say? I look handsome. It's tan. Oh, okay. Yeah. Like you've been in the sun. Oh, I thought you meant, it looked like, I honestly, I thought it gave me a little streak and I thought it was like, you look closer to being like a B G black guy. Oh, no. Not with a mullet. That's true. You never see a black guy with a mullet. But you know what? You know what's, I think, is something that should come back as the Jerry Curly. That's what you say. You and Zach were just mentioning that. Well, she was talking about mullets and I said she was like, if he was, it's a long story. We're talking if you were black and you had a mullet. I said, I think that's a Jerry Curly. Oh, that's what a Jerry Curly is. I didn't know. Oh, that's a Jerry Curly, baby. Okay. Sorry. And it's hard to call you, baby, too. Also, that's insane. And that's very unprofessional. That's cool. I felt like you were being an narrator, not you, CEO, just a narrator of the, thank you. Yeah, yeah. I wasn't trying to be offensive to you. No, I didn't think so. You said I was a loof. That was worse. Okay. Before we were rolling out. Yeah. But now everyone knows. If I'm being weird, it's because you called me a loof and now I'm in my head about it. Okay. Oh, sorry. Okay. Your hair looks nice. How about that? Can I say that? Yeah. You're very funny, too. Let me say that first. Okay, cool. And last time I saw it. Yeah. I got bangs. Just, yeah. I just wanted to try it. And how does, yeah, how does a bang choice come on? I know that's how, um, you know, every once in a while, something happens during the month for girls and you just get more testosterone and then you start making decisions. Oh, really? Yeah. I feel like that's what I make all my important decisions is around my period. You mean something ovular? But just like because you get way more testosterone in your body when you're about to, that's why we get so angry because we're closer to you guys when we're about to get our periods. We're the closest to guys. So then, is that, is that really what happens? I'm pretty sure. I don't want to like, we can fact check. No, bring it up. So, so you get more testosterone right out of there because why is it because you have to hatch an egg kind of deal or like is, is the body need more power or need more? That's not a good way to say it. Somebody's going to get up to that matter. What I say here. Is about power or just like, you know, what is the, what do they need more testosterone for? Do you feel like? Um, I don't know. I have no idea. I feel like it was just your body punishing you for not having a baby. That's what a period is. That's what the, it's like now you get to be a man for a week. But then if you, and what branch of Christianity says that? I don't know. I don't know. Are you religious? You're a little religious. Yeah. I believe in God, you know? Right. Yeah. Yeah. And I like Jesus, dude. So that's where I'm at. But no, I, I, I, I, I have faith for sure. Yeah. That's cool. In your part, your part time religious, are you? I grew up really religious. I grew up really Catholic, but then of, you know, in high school, I was like, I don't know. I don't know if I believe in this. And then now I'm like, kind of into crystals and stuff. Oh, yeah. And like, but I, I'm spiritual, I guess, but you can't spell crystal without. Cree. Like me. Uh, no. Christ. Christ. Yeah. Okay. I was thinking, it also Christ, Christina is close. Wow. So you, yeah. No matter what. So you were thinking about myself. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Um, what was I even asked about? Oh, no, but tell me more about the, um, the obvious, like the energy, the obvious energy. Oh. Okay. And I will let you the bangs, kind of. Okay. Well, I think I just, um, you know, I was, I think I always have these, um, things in, like in the back of my mind, these things that bug me, but I'm able to ignore it for most of the month. And then when I'm about to get my period, they all kind of come to light and they really aggravate me, you know? And then I'd get like more insecure and stuff. And then I just, you know, I'm like, you know what? I will get bangs. Why not? Because you get that stuster and that confidence to just go for things, you know? Okay. So some of it feels like a confidence that comes in kind of like when you're angry, I feel like you don't, you don't have time to overthink things as you're feeling angry about something. That's what's nice about feeling angry sometimes is that you're not over thinking. That's a great point actually. Angri usually kind of leads to some sort of action. Yes. And not always good, most of the time not good, but you're not over thinking when you're doing it. No, that's true. Like, oh, look at these definitive people who are making a bad choice. Yeah. Exactly. I don't get really that angry though. Yeah. Well, I think they look nice. I think they look greater. Those are bangs, huh? Thank you. There's two. Oh, thanks. Yeah. I feel like we're kind of matching. Yeah, we're kind of the same. Yeah. We're like two different versions of Brittany, kind of. Yeah. It's a Brittany bitch. Yeah. And I'm tied. Well, every girl always wants to be toxic, Brittany. I'm okay. I'm with me. I'm okay with being dancing in the foyer with the knife, Brittany, or whatever. Like, one of the newer ones. Okay. Like the second, like the new testament. A new generation. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, this, this is you. I'm this one. Yeah. I'm Halloween, Brittany. She got those bangs too. It was a period decision. I'm Michael Myers, Brittany. This is Michael Jackson Myers, Brittany, right here. This bitch is legit. And you think those dogs. How do they feel? Take me through this, Christina. How do I think the three dogs staring at her? I don't know. Do you think those are employees? The dogs? Are they emotional support dogs? Do you think or recreational ones? I'm not sure. One of them had corn rows, I think, along its back. I don't know. I always feel like emotional support dogs look sad. Oh, you know, they're just like, imagine your friend is just like always making bad decisions and you can't say anything, but you have to stare at them like, yeah, come on. Stop doing that. Don't fuck your ex again. Yeah, dude. I never thought about that. And like, yeah, you don't do anything. And the emotional support, you just feed them. It's like, oh, they're like, you're fucking your life up. You know, like you're doing hair whenever I'm just laying over here with this vest on. You know, when people think I was in like the military or whatever, and then they're like, you want me to forget about it so you would just feed me. Yeah. And dogs are good at that. I'm forgetting about things if you feed them. That's a good point, huh? I feel like cats would keep you more accountable and that's why people don't like them as much. A cat would be judgy. Every time you do something wrong, it would like, go away and show you its butthole. Yeah. And you'd be like, I fucked up and the cat wouldn't like, you know? That is quite a move. What ethnicity move is that to walk off about 11 feet away, show you their asshole, and then just wander over behind a curtain. What ethnicity? Yeah. I like to relate things to ethnicities, like behaviors to different ethnicities. Okay. So what ethnicity would like walk away, show you their butthole and hide behind a curtain? I'm thinking, I'm going to get a little flight for this, but I'm going to go. I'm going to go Vietnamese, gay Vietnamese probably. Gave Vietnamese. I don't think they would hide behind a curtain. Oh, you think it would just kind of. I think they would be proud. Mill around. Maybe pass a hat around. Yeah, yeah. They would shoot their butthole and then freeze. Freeze frame. I bet you were wondering how I got here. Murder? And that's how I met your mother. Christina, Mariano, is that what you're saying? Yeah. Yeah. Good. Thanks for hanging out today. Is that your full name, Theodore? Theodore, my grandmother said, but she was a. Horror? Okay. Yeah. I was going to say she was. No, no, I'm sorry. I don't know. No, I was going to say she was just like kind of a brave woman who did a lot in her community, but yeah, we'll go with that version of it. Horrible. Yeah. She was a different type of lady. Yeah. Theodore. That's my name right there. I like it. It's like I've been in the chipmunks. Yeah. So you'd be the fat one. Yeah. Yeah. I think I feel kind of like, I don't know, I don't think you can say I think I feel fat because people that are thicker would be like upset, like you can't take the feeling of being fat, but not the smorgasbore governor or whatever. You could be like, I feel full. That's it. Right? I feel like a full male. I feel like I've been full for a few years. Well, no, that seems gay. I feel like. Yeah. Yeah. I guess so. - Yeah, like you haven't eaten anything in a couple of days. You're like, I'm full. Some dudes saying that is definitely been being gay. - Have you ever been gay? - Have I ever been gay? - Yeah, just like for fun. - No. No, I'm a one time, some guy was like, he was saying he was like a soothe sayer or whatever. - Was that a soothe sayer? - Soothe sayer, bring up an image of one. Let me get a JPEG of a soothe sayer. - It kind of sounds like that. - That doesn't look soothing at all. - Well, all of these are options, right? The man talking to the horse, the other Brittany, soothe sayer, Brittany right there. - That's your grandpa, the man talking to the horse. - But it was like, it was just like some guy, and apparently there was a guy in our town who could read your ribs about rubbing his fingers on him. - He could read them? - Like, it was almost like reading on a crystal ball or something. - Okay. - And so he was like a rib reader, right? Like a mystic. - Okay. - And so I remember they would take us here, like during the carnival or whatever, the fair, they would take us there, and this guy would just kind of like, you know, he would kind of like read like the, you know, that's just your body braille right there, your ribs, and he would kind of feel it like that and then give you a message. - Okay. - And like a message of hope or like a message of concern. - Okay, I feel like the ribs is a funny thing to pick because you can only feel skinny people's ribs. And so that was a way to like filter out who he would touch. - You think? - Yeah, I think he was like, - The sous-sare was like, I'm not touching fatties. (laughing) - Right? But I don't know, I think, look, Brittany, I think money doesn't have, I don't know if money cares about how like, which, you know, like, but maybe, yeah, maybe he had a type, he had like a very like, a starving type. But yeah, I guess it's like, yeah, let me just, I don't know. - Yeah, I'll picture an obese person, you know, and you go to like, look for the ribs and you've really got to like. - Oh, I would love that. - Get in there. - It's like an Easter egg, huh, kind of. - Yeah. - Yeah, I think I would dig that. You are from, just some audience can learn about you. - Okay. - Because you and I toured together some. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And you're on tour right now. - Yes, I am. - Right? - Mm-hmm, yep. - Where you have coming up just so we know. - I, man, I just, oh, I should have looked that up, right? - Here we go. - Shh. - Skyline, Appleton, Wisconsin. I love Wisconsin. Chicago, at Zaini's, that's great. - Yeah. - Congrats. Dude, the comedy store La Jolla. - Oh, yeah, that's the first time me doing that. I'm excited. - That's the best. - Okay, cool. - That's where Mitch McConnell lives. Somebody said, I think. - Okay. - That's what anyway, or lives is a unique term to use with Mitch McConnell. But um, didn't he just fall asleep the other day? You see that? - He was found unconscious. - Well, why? - He's a center. - Oh, okay. - So he's just up to those like, it's like those sleeping Senator tricks. You know, like those, what's those animals that play dead or whatever? - Possums? - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, that was just being a possum. - Yeah, he's just the opossum of the, what is a center of Mitch McConnell was found unconscious at his Washington, D.C. home on June 14th, 2026, and reportedly received CPR for a suspected cardiac arrest. Sure, probably trying to get insurance money. While his office confirmed he was hospitalized, they have provided few details on his current condition. - I don't know, I kind of believe that he had a cardiac arrest. - You do? - I think that's, yeah. - Well, he's the guy that they keep like, pressing the butt, like they keep shutting him down. A lot of people think that he's controlled, right? And so he's the guy that they keep pressing the butt and on him and shut it, you know, he's the guy that kind of shorts out. - Oh, so he's a robot? You think? - People have said that he is, he's more like, yeah. He's kind of a, yeah. - That would be great to make all robots old. So that's the excuse for them glitching out. Oh, they're just old. Oh, you got a 1996, yes, what do you expect, you know? - Maybe Michael J. Fox is also a robot. - You think? - He's just like glitching. - I think he's definitely, he's testing the matrix. How is Michael J. Fox, what's his health condition right now? 'Cause I know he's made all these, what does he have MS, right? Oh, he's got Parkinson's, dude. - Oh, I feel bad making a joke. - Oh, no, it's okay. I mean, he's a comedic actor. I'm sure he's okay with joking around. Michael J. Fox in the advanced stages of Parkinson's disease. And also, this is what you get for traveling through time. Is in the advanced stages of Parkinson's disease, which he was diagnosed with in 1991 while he deals with severe symptoms and mobility challenges. He remains mentally sharp and active, making high profile appearances like his surprise attendance at the 2026 Saga Awards. Dude, it would be interesting to talk to someone that has that just to learn about what it's like. You know, just to learn about Parkinson's. And like just, I always wonder what it's like to have certain, like a certain ailment or a thing that's going on with your body or mind. But while you're like, can you still experience it? Like, is it feel like you're in like a Halloween costume? Like, you know when you're in Halloween costume, you put it on in the mask. And you're still looking out of it. Like a Jew inside of it, outside. People think you're like a ghost or like a like a wookie or whatever, you know? - You mean like, if you're self aware about how you're coming off to other people? - Yeah, like, does it feel like you're like, just trapped inside of something that's having a problem? Or does it feel like you are having the problem? I guess that's what I mean. - I mean, and start those bugs in here. - Oh, it's okay. - This place is, it's not bugging me. - It's just there's a lot of bugs. It's not. - It's not. - Okay, sorry. - No, it's okay. - I'm taking on anger for somebody else. You're fine with it. That's fine. You're from Stockton. - It's okay, you're a guy. You always have anger. - That's true. And you get it every once in a while. - Every once in a while, and that's when I get stuff done. I wait, I write down the things that, okay, I'll do that when I'm about to get my period 'cause I'm about to get anger. - That's a good, like a period to do this? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then I'm like, I'll get to this. I know when, so that way I remember. It's like, all right, time to, you know, yell at my mom today. No, I wouldn't, I love my mom. - Well, who knows if you do. Time to like, dig up that body, or time to like, you know, go look for treasure. Time to do something inside. - Yeah, something that's productive. - Yeah, yeah, put those two by fours up. - Yeah, yeah, 'cause then if not, I'm just sitting with all that anger. I need to use that energy, which is why, do you work out? - I like that. Yeah, I like to work out. - Okay, 'cause of all the anger. - Yeah, I got it. - I've got to let it out. - It does kinda, it makes me just, I don't know. It makes me, here's what it does for me is, I realize. I need to let myself know that I'm in control of myself, right? Because if not, I'll be more at the whims of just like, what my thoughts are. So going to the gym, making myself go, puts me a little bit more in control of myself. It gives me a little bit more hope that like, okay, somebody's got my back and it's me. - Okay, yeah, that makes sense. - A little bit of that, doesn't make sense? - It completely makes sense. - Oh, I appreciate that. - If you complete task, if you do things, you tell yourself you're gonna do, that builds your confidence and then you trust yourself because you're like, I'm not a liar, I said I was gonna do it and I did it. You hate yourself when you're lying, yeah. To yourself, yeah. - Oh, dude, yeah. And that's, oh, I spent, I got to the point where I didn't believe myself anymore. I wouldn't even listen to myself, I realized. I would know I would say in someone like, I'm never, that's not gonna, you start to lose like integrity with yourself, it gets kind of like, I don't know, it can get, you can get in like, kind of a rough spot. - Yeah, 'cause then you don't like yourself. I mean, think about somebody in your life that is a compulsive liar. You don't respect them, you don't wanna be around them and makes you feel bad. And then that thing is inside your head, it's you. Then you're like, you can't escape. Kind of like, Brittany's dogs, you know? And then that's you in your head. And you're just like, oh my, you know. - Somebody corner on my back. (laughing) - Like enough, but just, that's why I never say. - You wanted the dogs head lip stick on too. That's the part that shook me a little. - He was just, he was like, I need to feel better. Somehow, you're like, I don't look pretty. - And he was a man too. I think he was a Vietnamese dog. - That one? - Yeah. And this is a new advertisement for Hollywood. - Oh, this is a set. - Yeah. - Hollywood, the musical. - Hollywood, the musical too. That's exactly what this is. - You know, there's some things you couldn't make musicals. It would be inappropriate, right? You can make movies about everything, but you can't make musicals about everything. - I don't know if that's true. I've been thinking one thing we do need more of is like, wiggers the musical. - Okay, but see, that's funny. That's funny. You could do that. That's what about 9/11, the musical? - What would you call it though? - 9/11, the musical. - Yeah. - I don't know. That doesn't seem appropriate. It seems like. - No, well, I think you need a softer pitch, the title of it. I think it's an interesting idea. And I think if you had fun raising in it, then it would be, I could see it. But 9/11, the musical. - No fun raising. - Who would be in it? You need like kind of like a gay hero that survives the rubble. - A gay hero? That survives the rubble. - Well, you have to have somebody that, first of all, likes being in a musical. - Okay, right. So that's why you said gay. - I'm not saying it has to be. - Would you not be in a musical? You don't think? - I don't know. I'd be in it for 10 minutes. - Can you sing? - I can sing all right. I'm pretty good. I'm not that great. I'm getting better. I'm actually not that good. - Well, can you sing something? - No. - Really? - Yeah, I'm not singing also. Yeah, I don't sing during the daytime also. - Okay, it's a nighttime activity. - Yeah, you know. - Being gay. - Yeah. Yeah, being gay is a- - It's for the nighttime. - For some people, I think it's nighttime. I was just talking to my friend earlier about having a hot air, but they had this guy in our town and he would meet a friend they both were hot air balloon enthusiasts. And then we'd go up in the sky and that's where they would hang out. And just like, I think they had a gay, a gay energy. and they would take it up there because there was just so much embarrassment here at sea level. - Okay, so you're saying two gay guys went in separate hot air balloons and then they, yeah. - And that's, but they're in separate hot air balloons. - But they met up. - Oh, so they did it. So the people on the ground thought they weren't gay. They want their separate ways and then they-- - But people knew. They're like, there's no, what are they doing up there? Like, you know what I'm saying? People started to kind of put two and two together. - It's like up, but also their penis is up. (laughing) - It's a new Disney movie. - I guess it is. Christina Mary-Honey, good to see you today. Can you tell me again about, so can you bring that up about, if a woman is going through ovulation, do they have, is there more testosterone in the bloodstream at that time? - I think it's like around their period, not ovulation. - Okay, yes. - Yes, on average, women's testosterone rises around the time of ovulation. - I guess it is ovulation. - And then stays somewhat higher through the luteal phase. - Okay, yeah, that's when you get your period and stuff. - Okay. But it is not highest during the actual period, huh? - Yeah, it's usually the week before that I find is the most productive. - Okay. - Then I start to mellow out again once I start bleeding. It's like-- - So that pre-period, that pre-drip, kind of? - Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, exactly, the-- - And is that a crazy term to use? - Pre-drip? - Yeah, I feel like that makes sense. - 'Cause I don't want to be like unprofessional or whatever. - Have you ever seen under the Tuscan sun? - No, is that a euphemism for a period or whatever? - No, no, no, it's a movie. But the whole movie, she's trying to open a faucet and it doesn't work. And then at the end, it just flows and she's happy. That's kind of what it's like. - Oh, like Mad Max or whatever. When they finally get the water? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's actually what it's like. It's uphill from here now. That's kind of like, we go through a movie every month. - Okay, can you let me know how much testosterone travel? Like, what is the actual increase? That's so quiet and know that. - Probably varies from person to person, the amount. Like if you're lightweight about testosterone, then you just get fucked up on it. Just one shot, that's all it takes. - But you don't start, like, I'm trying to think, you don't just start buying a core vet or whatever, do you? Like, what do you, let me see the myths? - No. - In healthy women, the mid cycle, rising testosterone is small in absolute terms, roughly 10 to 30% higher, wow. So take me on, is this crazy to even ask you about? - No, I don't think so. - Okay, you're from Stockton, right? Okay, I just want to get a little bit about your life and then we'll come back and forth. So, take me through like, how do you know if you're getting a peer to, you just like, 'cause is it almost like you get déjà vu like you're walking and then you feel like, is it feel like getting déjà vu kind of? - It feels like, I'm start, I get obsessive anyway. I'm kind of an obsessive person, but then when I'm about to get my peer to get really obsessive, like almost I can't get out of my thought loops, whereas I can snap myself out. But then when I'm on my peer to, it makes me fixate on certain things or certain things I thought I resolved, then it brings it up again and then I just get real like, obsessive, I don't know how to, but that, it's different for everybody. I'm already obsessive, so I think it enhances it, you know? - Okay. - What was the question? - How to, oh shit, the question was, like say I get a period, right? Say I'm walking around town or whatever, and I'm gonna get a period or whatever. How do I know I'm gonna get it? Like do you start to feel like you're let, like does it feel like your legs, where do you feel? Like, so you said you start to feel a little more fixated on stuff, and you can notice it? - Oh yeah, it's super different than you. - Dude, that's crazy bro. - Yeah, I get like two weeks where I'm like, pretty happy, like feeling good and then two weeks of just slid it steady, decline, and obsessive, and then, you know, like, do you always see how people perceive you the same way? It's a pretty constant for you. - That's a good question. So like do I always think like, yes, I think I do. Yes, I think I do. I think I always kind of think people sort of perceive me the same way. - Okay, so I don't know what it is, I haven't specified it, but I do believe that, yeah. - Like for me, I feel like sometimes people perceive me better, and then when I'm about to get my period, I'm like, "Oh, everybody hates me." That kind of gets like more darker ever. Like it's just kind of like real life, but with like a cloud, you know, like a mean dark cloud that's just like, and you have to like think, no, this is, it's kind of like being on drugs, but a really bad one, you know, like, and it's a bad trip for two weeks, but it's like, it's not super intense. I don't know, I don't know how to describe it. It's just, you know, it's cool. It's the most I've ever even talked about it with somebody, and it's interesting, because it's just crazy to think that like, maybe that's why women are so resilient and tough, you know? Because they have to like, you know what I'm saying? They got like an interior thing that's good. They got like a, they're going through like a moon, they're going through like a, I mean, you would call it like, almost like going through the four seasons in their body, and in their like, they're so true. In their mind and heart and everything, they're going through all that. So they're like, they're constantly sort of having a monitor and see what's going on with themselves, and kind of come back a new kind of. - Except it's kind of like summer and winter, is what I feel like, it's like summer, and then winter just hits you. Just out of nowhere. - We had a neighbor lady and something had happened to her. I'm trying to go what happened to her. She fell out of a boat or something. And it didn't, and it was going too fast. And she, so after that, something was kind of unwell with her, with her brain, right? - Okay. - She had a brain issue, an overall brain issue. And whenever she would get her, period she would put in like pot, like hand warmers or something on. - Okay. - And she would stand out in their yard down the street from us and she would always sing like, death lapper, or she would sing like lock up the wolves. It's like, it's like an old song, but it's kind of crazy that she would, that she was, basically going through a menstrual cycle and she would sing lock up the wolves. - It's like, so you think her about to get, that's what made her do it. Did it help her? Feel better? - I think it probably did. It was sort of like a mechanism. She would stand out on the porch and the yard and kind of vibrate a little bit. And she would sing like a couple of different songs. And one of them was lock up the wolves. Dear God. How does that go? - Bring up the lyrics to it. Lock up the wolves. - Okay, is that like a metal song? - Yes. - That makes sense. - Bring up that lock of the wolves. Rodney James, that's Dio right there. In the house of the holy to the middle of the mystic sea at the cradle of the world, there's a black cat screaming and it's not even midnight, no. At the cradle of the world, they're screaming for sanctuary. They're screaming at you. Lock up the wolves. Lock up the wolves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does that seem like a period? - Totally, yeah. Except you want the wolves to get out of you. Get away wolves. Get out. I'm tired of these demons, you know. Enough wolves, enough, you know. Get out of my cat, you know, let's speak enough cats. Meow, 'cause it hurts too. - Aw, dang. - Yeah, I gotta think, I gotta, I sometimes gotta remember that, is it crazy if you approach women and ask her where she's at in that sort of cycle pattern? Is that, do women feel like they don't or, I'm sorry, some of this stuff feels like I'm just like. - 'Cause I'm a girl, you're asking me about periods, is that what you feel like? - Yeah, I just feel like it seems kind of cheesy and I don't mean to do it like that. I just don't ever get to talk about it and somehow we ended up talking about it. - It's okay, I wouldn't overthink it. Are you, see, it's like this is what I would be like if I was about to get my period. I would get in my head about, oh my God. I would still be thinking about the mollet comment earlier. - Oh, yeah. - And I wouldn't be able to be present. - I think my whole life I've been about to get my period, probably. - Well, you're a guy, so yeah, exactly. - Dude, think about it if you're a guy, you never even get to have your period. You just have to do all the other shit the whole time. - You're on your period the whole time if you're a guy. - Oh, you are? - Yeah, that's like, us on our periods is closest to a guy, just baseline. - Well, what if a guy hugs you while you're on your, like when you're riding that baseline, is that like, almost like a game moment, I wonder? Maybe, maybe that's why it's like, you know, if you're straight, you're just like, no. - Get away from your buddy. - Yeah, you only kind of want to be around like, I don't know if you actually don't really want to be around anyone, going around my period time. - Yeah, I just wonder if we all should be wearing some sort of thing that tells how we're doing. So people wouldn't know when we get approached, not even ovularly. - Yeah, you can't tell though, like people's vibe right away. Like, oh, they're not having a good day today. - Yeah, I think sometimes you can, but sometimes I think there's a little of you don't know. I met a girl, the gym today, and she, I could tell she was, something was a little bit uncomfortable, but I didn't know what it was. But then I just said, yeah, what's going on, you know? You seem like you're just maybe having like a, you're thinking about something. - Maybe like, 'cause she was like at the gym trying to work out and you went up and hit on her. I don't know, it's like, what's going on? It can't be that I'm interrupting you working out. I don't know, I mean. - Whoa! - Like, that can't be it. - That could have been a small part of it. - You know what I mean? She's there trying to like, meet her goal and you're like, so, so baby, which hat? Which hat, do you think, what? You're not enjoying this? Hey, can I ask you about your period? Are you on it? - Oh my God, dude. Well, why didn't somebody tell me that there's something this wrong with me? Hey, you like my hat. Hey, which one? and she's like, I'm trying to bench 20s or whatever, I don't know, please. But I don't know, maybe not. Maybe that wasn't it, it could've been something else. - It could've been, it could've been anything. - It could've been anything. - This episode is sponsored by BetterHealth. Yeah, we talk about mental health more openly now, hell heck. Sometimes it's all anybody talks about. You'll be like, hey, how was the game and people are like, I'm not doing good. But asking, actually asking for help can still feel hard. And BetterHealth's latest research confirms it. BetterHealth's 2026 State of stigma report surveyed 2,000 Americans and revealed that 85% of Americans believe getting support is wise, yet 74% say society discourages people from doing so. Cut out the noise and do what's right for your own well-being. BetterHealth can help. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHealth is the world's largest online therapy platform having served over 6 million people globally. Mm-hmm. And they do the initial matching work for you, so you can focus on your therapy goals. Don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHealth. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHealth.com/thio. That's BetterHealth.com/thio. What does the $7 big deal meal get you at Sonic? The real question is what doesn't it get you? For just $7 you score a classic Sonic cheeseburger, medium fries or tots, a medium drink plus premium chicken bites. Yeah, that's not a snack, that's not a just grab something real quick. That's a full meal. And then some, you know what I'm talking about? I'm talking burger in one hand, tots in the other. Chicken bites, just hanging out like, yeah, we came to squad up, squad up. The only thing it doesn't get you is a bigger dash warden your card to hold your $7 spread. But that's what cup holders are for. (laughing) We've all done it. Enjoy a full meal plus premium chicken bites for just $7 only at Sonic. Live free, eat Sonic. Christina Mariani, good to see you today. Nice to see you too. You're so funny, thanks for coming by. Yes, thanks for having me. You grew up in Stockton, just so our audience knows because some of our audience knows you, a lot of it does, but some of them might not. Okay, yeah. And so, take me through a little bit of that, if you don't mind. Okay, so I was born in Lodak, California, but just born there. Then I lived in Stockton till I was like four or five. And then I moved to Italy. And then I moved back after a few years, when I moved back when I was 11. Did you remember being Italian over there? Oh yeah, totally. Really? Yeah, yeah. I mean, six through 11, you remember things, you know. Oh wow, yeah. That's it, yeah. And the Romans, they're very, are they Romans? Some of them, not all of them. The ones in Rome are Romans. And then the ones in Tuscanian, just Italians, you know. And how was it like being an Italian child? You know, the kids are a lot more brutal in Italy. They're like wild animals, they'll just like beat you up. You know, you're in America, they're like, mean with their words, you know. And like, they're more psychological about it. But in Italy, they just are mean. They just beat the shit out of you. Really? Yeah, I remember when I first moved there, me and my sister went to a birthday party and think 'cause we, you know, we're new. All the kids started chasing us around and trying to beat the shit out of us. And I first thought it was like hide and seek or like tag like a kid game. Yeah. And then we were just hiding, like, we were like, really got really good at hide and seek. We were hiding under the table. We were calling our mom, like, please come get us. But like an Italian, 'cause it was in Italy, you know. No. Yeah, but um. So there was a level of like, so they got, there were times, well, they're very handsy. Well, that's the thing. So I guess it goes like even if it's violence or love or something like that. That's true. Yeah, I guess so. They're very gesticular. You know, they use their hands when they talk. Yeah, totally. You know, and when they, I guess, do violence or whatever. Yeah, the, yeah, I get, yeah. Does it feel romantic? Do you think people romanticize? Like do you ever romanticize? Like getting beat up all the time? Even like the mute, getting beat up the musical? Getting beat up the musical. My childhood in Italy, the musical. It's just me getting beat up for four years. But do you ever kind of like, yeah, do you ever like, I don't know, I guess I wondered if I, 'cause I like, I'll like romanticize or like kind of like, make something seem greater that was a long time ago just because, right? Like what, for example? Like the past was better, you know? But what's in something? It could be just like, like when I was a kid, if you wanted to know if somebody was at home, you had to go over there and see if they were at home, right? Like now you can have your mom text or you could text or send it, just hit them in the chat or whatever, that, but then you had to walk over there. And you kind of get a clue sometimes their cars would be there, car wouldn't be there. Sometimes maybe one of the parents would be home, and they'd be home sick or whatever. And you'd even just try to go in and play anyway. Like, but you know, but you had to go over there and so you had to create this, like, you know, it was kind of like a little bit of, sometimes you'd be too nervous to go ask you to just go stay in there. Like I'm gonna stay in about my friend's door for like 10 or 15 minutes until one of his parents, or somebody just came out or came by. Like, what are you doing here? - You just stand there, you're committed. - Yeah, I'm like, I'm waiting, is William home, you know? - Yeah, yeah. - And then like, he's not home, he's out of town or whatever. But you know, so I think something like that, does that make sense, you think? - Yeah, so like you-- - But I'm re-manicizing it as fondly. - I was tougher for, you know, kids had to do this sort of thing. It's kind of a bad example like that. - So that's not romanticizing if you're thinking it was worse, or you think it was better. - I thought it was better 'cause it challenged you a little bit when we had to actually go through this. It was just like, I don't know, things seemed a little bit more like you had to go and have an actual human experience to get a little bit of information. - Yeah, I mean-- - That's what I mean, I guess. - No, yeah, I get what you're saying. I feel like everybody says like social media and like just how much access we have to the internet is killing human connection. And I was thinking about it and I think it's killing like the small talk of human connection, you know? Now you can't like, you already know what they did, like superficially. Now when you see them, you have to like, talk about your mental problems, you know? Like, okay, I saw that you had a salad for lunch and you're going through a divorce. Tell me how you're feeling. - Yeah, like show me your croutons. - Yeah, exactly. It's like, now I know all the boring stuff. - Yeah, I'm trying to think of some things maybe that I romanticize. - But is romanticizing healthy do you think? - Is that the word? Am I using the right word? - Yeah, I mean, I feel like if you romanticize something, you're painting it with rose colored glasses. - Right, that's what I'm saying. It's not exactly like romantic, but it just means you're looking back on something fondly, even though that may not have been the way it was. - But what was the way it was? Isn't it better to romanticize everything then? So that way, you're like looking back at your life, all romantical, 'cause like, - Like even last week or something, you mean? - Yeah, even yesterday, even this morning at the gym, you know, with the girl, you could romantic-- - With her harassment, you mean? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you could romanticize that. You could be like, it was unrequited love, you know? - Yeah, it was. - Yeah, it was. And eventually the universal bring you guys together in a more appropriate setting. - You know what those videos that are the wildest to see? Those reals, bro, some reals, it's like, it's too much. It's like, 90% of your shower water is chemicals. If you see those reals, it's like-- - Oh yeah, the ones that try to sell you the filters? - Yes. - Yeah, I've gotten one. - Oh, you got one? - I got one, I believe them. I'm really a goalable. I'm a sucker for marketing. Do you know how many best bloody marries in the world I've had so many? - Really? - Because they always say they're the best, and I'm like, I gotta see this for myself. You know, and I believe them, why are they lying? They're never the best, they're not even close. - Yeah. - Yeah. Anyway, sorry, keep going. - No, that's good. But all those things are like that. It's like, did you know that your grandmother has forever chemicals in her? It's like, tugging your grandmother in the summer again? That's a no-no. And it's like, it's just like shit that's like what? Like, we can't even hug our grandmother's now. It's like, oh, the forever chemicals that Nana has, you'll never get out of your arms, you know? - If it was your Nana, it was sylphilis. That's what the chemical is. 'Cause she's a whore, I'm sorry, it's a call back from earlier. (laughing) - That's fair. - Um. - But I haven't heard that about hugging your grandma. Is that actually something that's like a-- - No, but it's just these things that you see. It's like nose bleeds must be a f---er, whatever. You know, it's like, every real is just something. It's almost like it's just this bot that's making up two things and putting them together. I feel like it is a lot of them. It is bots that are doing stuff like that. - You know, and then it just like you hold, and then it attaches some sort of thing. Like, that's a product. You know what I'm saying? It's like nose bleeds must be a f---er, huh? Time to get some roller skates, you know? Or, you know, time to get this new set of ice trays or whatever, you know? - Yes, it's like two things that aren't related at all, but they somehow make it work for the marketing. - Yeah, and they just, and it, It makes so many of them that it doesn't even care, dude. Like all it cares in the end is if you buy something, right? One of the craziest things that I see on AI, all the time, I don't know if it's AI, but that I see on, that's real a lot, is the, have you seen the one it's like, if your husband is in Wilmington, Kentucky, and you think he's here on a business trip, thank again, baby girl, have you seen those? - Mm-hmm, damn. - No. - See if you can pull out one of those for me, guys. - It sounds like they prey on people's fears most of the time. - Yes, this is a fear thing. - Well, yeah, 'cause people respond to fear. That's like, so if they make it seem urgent, like, oh, this is gonna happen, you know. Your grandma's gonna get cancer if you don't buy, I don't know, Splenda, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Something like that where it's like, oh man, I don't want Grandma to die. I don't want it to be my fault. - Yeah. - I feel like they use that. - Here's one, yeah, what is this one? - Your name's Meredith, and you live in Nashville, Tennessee, and you're dating Kevin. And he works at a car dealership, run. He's not just test driving cars, baby, run. - But there's like, I see these all the time. - Well, that's not even trying to sell something. Do you think they're just being nice, or do you think they're being shitsters? - That's what I just, no, there's just so much everything out there, I just think it is. It's about fear, like you just said. It's like, everything out there, it's like, it's just creating like, oh my god, you know? I mean, this guy's a snitch, or whatever, which is fine, I guess. But I guess maybe he's a good snitch. - Or maybe it's not even true. Maybe he was just like, people are gonna find, you know, they just fabricated it. I always believe them though. I'm always like, oh shit, poor Meredith, you know? I always just, I'm like, - I'll comment sometimes I'm like, prayers for mayor, you know? I'll fit that in there a lot, dude. But yeah, I don't know, there's just so much shit that's out there, I feel like. And it's, I don't know, sometimes it's fun to figure out if it's entertaining to me, or if it's just kind of like, I need to stay away from it. So, okay, so you grew up, you grew up until 11 in Italy, and then you moved to where? - And then I moved to Stockton again. - Wow. - You moved back, yeah. - Did you ever see Nate Diaz over there? - No, you know, I feel like every time I've been on Killtony, Tony always asks me that, and I did it. No, no, no, it's okay, that's the only thing Stockton's really known for, I think. I don't think it's really, nobody, there's nothing else going on there. No, I never have. - Well, how would you describe Stockton then as? Like, what would you say about it? 'Cause there's probably a lot of great things about it. I know there's a lot of missing people up there. - Yeah, crime is a big one. - And I know there's cigarettes, I know. - Yeah, yeah, cigarettes. - The Kings. - The Kings, yeah. No, that's in Sacramento. - Oh, it's Sacramento. - Wait, is there a Kings in Stockton? No, basketball, Sacramento. - Oh. - Yeah, yeah, right? - Yeah, so tell me the born of Stockton then. - I mean, you kind of nailed it, I think. That was pretty much it. I liked it though. I think when you grow up somewhere, you think that's your baseline. I think it's better to grow up somewhere that's not that great. 'Cause then, has I moved around places, everywhere else has been way better. You know? - Oh, it's interesting. - Yeah, so, my baseline is low for where I lived. 'Cause if you live somewhere like really pretty, like, I don't know, Aspen, then everywhere else you're gonna be like, or Australia, like, you can imagine, and then you move to Stockton. But I guess I went from Italy to Stockton, but, I don't know. - That's a crazy push up, Italy to Stockton. - Yeah, it was a lot different for sure. I lived in the mountains. It was like in an isolated town. - In Italy? - In Italy, yeah. There's like 300 people, Corfino. - In Corfino. - Nobody even knows about it. I feel like, when you look it up on Google, it used to say human settlement, and didn't even say, like, town or village. - Wow, that's it. - Yep. Oh my gosh. - Nope, it's not, see? - They always think it's in Aburso. No, it's in Tuscany. - It's in Tuscany, man. - Yeah, this is wrong. It's see, there's an eye. It's an o. - It's an o. - It's an o, man? - Yeah, but that's how tiny it is. It always brings up that one. - Got it. - It's the wrong, it's an Imposter. - No. 300 people live there? - Mm-hmm. - Oh my God. - Oh my God, but as a kid, that was awesome. - It's a perfect amount. - Yeah, the whole town was basically like, we could play hide and seek in, which was good for me. - Yeah. - With the violence. - Do you remember leaving it? - Not really. It was really sudden. Our house is still like, when I go visit, it's still my room when I was like nine or 10. - You saw my house? - They're still my toys. Yeah, my parents still have the house we grew up in, but it's still like untouched. It's like a time capsule. Yes, it's crazy. Go back and I'm still playing with like Barbies and they're still out. And it's just there and it's crazy kind of. - That's why that's stranger things. - Mm-hmm. - Dang. And so, why did your family move? - I think my dad, he's really ambitious. He's always been a real like project starter and it's just the tiny town and he got stirred crazy I think. And so he was like, I can't do this anymore. Then he wanted to move back. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, I think also, just in those tiny towns, people are in each other's business all the time and I think you got sick of that. - Yeah. - It makes sense to me. - It makes sense to me too. I don't think I would want to live there now. I think if I were to live there, it'd be when I'm like, you know, retired. It's really pretty, you know, like I could write up there a book or something, you know? - Oh, yeah, always romantic. I'm not writing a book somewhere. I'll write a book. - What would you write a book about? - I'll probably write a book just about, I don't know, I thought about two guys that aren't married, they just keep giving each other shitty advice about like, like they keep being each other's like, I'm gonna help you find somebody type of thing. - Okay. - I thought that'd be a funny thing to write about. I would write about growing up, just people that I knew, stories from home, things like that, things that I thought about, things that I think about now. I'll write a book, maybe a book. And so some of it would be words, some of it would be recipes. - Okay. - A little bit of that, maybe. - Words and recipes? - Yeah. - A book is kind of like a bunch of words. - Because sometimes I'm reading, I get hungry. - That's a recipe, huh? - Sometimes I'm reading a book and I get hungry and I'm like, oh, yeah, no, I get that. It's kind of like watching a movie then you get hungry. It's 'cause your brain's preoccupied and it's nice to do something while you're-- - Right, I wanna do two things at once, you know? But also if you're reading or getting hungry or you're in a recipe's right there, or a movie at a recipe right in the middle of it. - So you're saying like if-- - Like a recipe move. - Like, oh, so it's not like die hard and then in the middle there's just a recipe for some reason. - Yeah, it is that. - Like, he stops to like-- - Yeah, it is that. - Okay, like that. So he stops and he's just like, okay, let me make some food or like just read the recipe or let's you go through with it. Then he goes back to killing German terrorists. - Oh, does, and now if you could get, that would be cool. If the person in the movie, like Daniel Day Lewis is suddenly-- - Yeah, yeah, that's what I mean. - Yeah, helping you make like a tuna tartar or something. I think something like that would be pretty wild, you know, or he's helping you make like a bulia base or some kind of, you know, like a nice soup or something, a coy spot, or get spot you or something. - Yeah, or like taken, you know, he's looking for his daughter, but he has to eat still, you know? - Yeah, and now he's looking for ingredients in his cupboard. - Yeah, he's looking for all the ingredients. - That'd be cool. Dude, yeah, I used to think of like a bunch of TV shows. I don't know if I think of that many anymore. Have you ever had, did you try to pitch television and stuff like once you got into Hollywood, did you try to pitch like, on what you got into like entertainment? - Oh, I've just been working on some like, things, but I had nothing that I'm like, comfortable pitching or anything yet, you know? But yeah, I mean, just being creative, it's fun to like explore. - Did you have a dream for like a sitcom type of thing? Like, or did like, what was kind of your motivation towards like getting into comedy? Like, there was a time probably before my generation, where a lot of people were like, I wanna get a sitcom, you know? And then now I think it's been a little bit more like, I wanna get a special and I wanna get, like my generation probably like, I wanna get a special or I wanna get a podcast, right? Maybe those things. - Oh. - But I wonder like, what was some of the reason like that you kind of got into like being creative like in this way? - Well, I guess I've always really liked writing and being artsy ever since I was a kid. And then for a while I kind of neglected that part. And you know, like when you become a teenager and then college and then I was just kind of lost and-- - How did you neglect it? Where do you mean like drugs? You went in nursing? - No, no, I think just, you start, other things seem to matter more than just being creative, you know, 'cause like kids start bullying you and then you start worrying about what people think about you. And I remember I used to never, a lot of things that then I got insecure about. I never knew. I was just focused on like creating or like drawing or writing. And then something like is like, oh, this matters now, like all the social aspect. And then you know, you gotta get lost and you gotta get sidetracked. And then when I figured out what I wanted to do after I graduated college, I was an insurance. And after a year I wanted to kill myself. And I was like, how did I end up being in an insurance job? And then I start thinking what did I do as a kid that I had made me like enjoy life so much? And then I kind of started doing that stuff again. And then that plus things that scared me. And so then I got into like trying to do comedy 'cause that's something I always like wanted to do. But I always was like scared. And I thought it wasn't like something you could really do. - Right, did you see a certain comedian and it made you be like that? Or did you see like, it made you think like? Yeah, 'cause sometimes I don't remember if there was a certain comedian. I mean, maybe Chris Rock probably. Or, I mean, Eddie Murphy was like the biggest and people would pass her when I was young, you know. But then it was like, yeah, I don't know. I'm trying to think of all the ones. I mean, there was like John Capurulo. There was like, I'm trying to think it was like a certain comedian that really got me into it. At one time, I just went to a comedy club. They gave you free tickets. They would call it a time and get free tickets. And I've never been to a comedy club. I've never seen comedy like on television and stuff like that. But I'd never seen it live. Yeah. And so I went to a live show and I was like, oh my God. So this is how it works. And like somebody gets up there and they do this. And then people laugh. And everybody's just like in a room having a good time. I was like, this is so fascinating. I needed that like exact direct proof of like seeing it, you know. Interesting. What about you? I never had like a comedian that I saw. I just always like to make people laugh for some reason when I was a kid. To the point where my mom would get annoyed with me 'cause I wasn't that funny. When I was like, yeah, I would try to make people laugh 'cause for some reason I loved when they laughed at something I say. And then I would repeat it over and over again. And then my mom would be like, you got to shut up. This is fucking annoying. And I would always want to make my dad laugh 'cause I felt like I got his approval when he laughed. He was pretty strict, dad, you know? So then when I could make him laugh, he wouldn't laugh at anything. I would feel like. So then that was something too, like-- Like making a black guy laugh, kind of. Kind of, yeah, absolutely. That was my dad. He was-- - He's a black guy of the family. - Yeah, he's the black president father though. He very much-- - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, like he was there, you know? - Yeah, friend. - Oh, he was very young. (laughing) But I forgot what I wasn't saying. I'm sorry, no, yeah, so I just like to make people laugh always and I like to create. And so even when I got into comedy, I didn't have like, oh, I wanna get on a TV show or anything. I just really like doing it. And I just knew it felt right. And so then I just like like to write and get on stage and perform it. And so I've just been kind of like this. I just love to do this, and I like exploring other avenues too, but this is like the thing I really like to do. - Has touring been tougher than you thought? Has it been a good time? Are you enjoying more when you just get to be at home? Could you seem to be out there a bit? - Yeah, I really like it. I like going to the airport. I like being on a plane. I like being in hotels. I like the whole experience. - Really? - Yeah, it's like relaxing. I don't know why. Like being on a plane is relaxing. All I gotta do is think. I like to just like close my eyes and just think. - Were you sleep on the planes sometimes? - I can't, I can't sleep, but I'll like get like relaxed kind of daydream, you know? And I can just think about things. - Oh, that's probably a good call. - Yeah, it's nice, you know? - Yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. The other day I was on a plane and my friend that was with me, he had to freaking do CPR on somebody. - On the plane? - Yeah. - What an airline? - And I was like, it was on Delta. And I was like, dude, do not go to CPR. That's like, does anybody know CPR? And he raises his hand. I'm like, dude, do not go to CPR right now, dude. - 'Cause he couldn't do it, did he lie? - I didn't know if he could do it. He's like, dude, I can do it. I was like, dude, you cannot do it. He had a couple drinks. I was like, you cannot be, have a couple drinks and do CPR on somebody. - But I mean, yeah, what if he threw up in his mouth? (laughs) You crazy. (laughs) The other guy's like, what if that then brings the guy back? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he throws up and they keep throwing up in each other's mouth, but they're both alive. (laughs) - Oh, yeah, oh, that's for a man. - Yeah. - So did he do it? Did he give him CPR? - He did it, man, and they got the guy going again. They got him back up. They puffed him up, told him he was 200 psi. - Oh, no, he's. - Build him up. - That sounds good. - Do one time, I told the story before, but one time I was at a restaurant. It was like a breakfast buffet and Magic Johnson was there. And somebody started, they needed CPR or whatever. So this guy, like, it was at a table. It's like a kind of a nice place. And so they just kind of bring out one of those, like, you know, those folding walls, those Chinese folding walls or whatever, that they bring out like a section or like a section. - Like origami? - Yeah, it's like a sectional that. - Oh, okay, yeah. - Yeah. - I think origami is Japanese anyways. - Yeah, like a panel thing. Just to make a little area for someone. - Okay, okay. - They bring one or two of those out and they're just doing CPR behind these like, little sectionals, while we're all the rest of us are supposed to be eating. And you can hear them hammering away on this dude. Like they're doing like baritone shit on him. And we're all like, when do we eat? Like, 'cause it's like, 'cause it's buffet, it's nice. And it was like-- - On the plane? - No, this was awful playing. - Oh, okay, sorry. - I was picturing, this was all on a plane. I was like, there's a buffet on the plane. - No, this was at a hotel. - Tilt does really stepped up. - This is at a hotel. - Okay. - And so everybody starts looking at Magic Johnson to know when he, 'cause he just became like, it's weird like in a tribe. Like somebody kind of becomes the leader. And everybody just looks over at Magic Johnson and we're like, all waiting for him to eat. And he had like a plate of little sausages, I remember. And everybody's just waiting for him to have a little sausage so we can all eat. It was kind of crazy. Just like, and then they got the guy going. They got him popping. You know, you can hear him kind of gurgling a little bit and popping or something. And then he went down again. So we all started eating and then everybody was like, "Huh." Everybody had to like set their sofaware down again and be like, okay. - Oh man. - That's crazy because what that story tells me is that no one really cared about how the guy was doing. Everybody just wanted to eat. And then they had to pretend because if not, you look like a horrible person. But everybody really just wanted to eat 'cause it's like, who is this guy and who sent him to ruin our meal? - That's kind of the vibe that I'm picking up on. 'Cause if you're worried about, hey, can we eat? You're not caring about the guy dying. Nobody gave a fuck. That sucks. - Dude, oh, here was the worst part though. We kept seeing the dude that had saved, 'cause somebody saved him the first time and then that guy had been like pumping too hard. He'd been like, and I think his tries had worn out or whatever and he said his tries locked up because he had like, he'd been overdoing creatine or whatever, I guess your arms can lock up if you have too much creatine. - Like, it's like the opposite of oiling your joints. - Yeah, I think he had just, 'cause he was over there. I mean, seven or eight minutes, they were over there just looking for oil in this guy dude. They were over there pumping him and you can hear him and you know, and like, everybody's just like, it was almost like, everybody's like, yeah, and everybody's just waiting to finish their food, which was getting cold, you know? And it's not like, save the guy fast, but it's like, save him or don't save him, don't say like. 'Cause dude, I will say this at a certain point, you started to kind of feel like, hey, this guy's had enough. Like, hey guys, we all kind of feel like that's enough. Like, we keep it our best shot, the musical. (laughing) It's just, it's 40 minutes of CPR. - Yeah. - So then they get him popping and then he goes down again. It's where I was like, fuck, fuck, fuck, you know? And I'm like, magic Johnson, help out. Like, you know, go over there and fucking, 'cause he's so good at like dribbling. It's like, just go dribble the guy's fucking, and I'm saying you would think if he just would go over there and just double dribble the guy's heartbeat, you know, 'til I don't know. But that's just me. - He just becomes black. (laughing) - He's like, oh shit, and then he gets a heart attack. There's bad hearts. - Oh dude, I thought of like full seven heart. - I think so, right? Isn't it like high cholesterol? - I think you think it's sugar in their heart. - The sugar just goes right to their heart. - I'm not sure that, that sounds insane, but I think they get sugar in their heart 'cause they have a lot of, some black people have too much sugar. 'Cause there's even people stop and you'll see people don't have any more sugar. I've seen a couple of black guys in my area they'll have a shirt on says I can't have sugar. Don't give me sugar. - Really? - Yeah. - Black adults are about 30 to 50% more likely to die from cardiovascular disease than non-Hispanic white adults. - I wonder why, does it say? - You had to say why, can you just ask why at the bottom? And this is on the perplexity right here. Social determinants of health. Let me see, lower income, unimplementing poverty, increased stress. I make sense, unequal access to health care. So some internal and external higher rates of high blood pressure. - Dude, what was I thinking about the other day? What was I thinking about? Oh, do you see, there was like, oh, I was thinking about AI and it's like the truckers that are like, they won't even have any more, like they would have some autonomous trucks out there. - So like self-driving? - Yeah. - And the self-driving stuff kind of gets me a little bit. Have you seen the first time a Waymo sees a gay guy? Have you seen that? - No. - Oh, that's good. I'm trying to think, see if you guys can find that. But dude, an autonomous truck and what if some, what if like some lot lizards parked behind like a, you know, a flying J's or whatever? Like it's parked behind like a buck, he's or whatever. And some lot lizards just climbs in the cab, you know, like one of those kind of parking lot escorts or whatever. She climbs in the cab and she's like, what do they even do then? - Yeah, I would think they would have the doors locked so you wouldn't, specifically for lot lizards that like like to pleasure trucks. - I think you gotta let 'em in though. You gotta give the truck the full experience. - That's true, the truck's probably pissed. - Driverless semi. - Driverless semi trucks have started running regular or more routes and taxes. - Yeah. - Semi is from the autonomous truck. (laughing) Or have computers and sensors that can see for more than four footballs. fields. The company is starting out with a single self-driving truck and plans to add more by the end of the year. Fuck that dude. That's too much for me. What was your journey kind of when you got into comedy in the beginning? You said you kind of got it to be creative. Did you end up feeling like did you try other outlets first? Like did you was there like music or was there? Well I used to, one thing I was scared of was leaving home because I feel like I'd just always been just, you know, my family's really Italian, really close. They don't really like it when you leave. You know, so I was really nervous to like leave. So that was the first thing I did that made me scared was leave. And I knew they were going to get mad at me, but I did it anyway. And I drove from California to Texas. And then once I was, and before that, I would do things like go to the Grand Canyon by myself, for example. Like to practice being out of your own? Yeah. Or to like practice just, yeah, just being by myself and doing things that like I used to feel self-conscious about eating by myself in a restaurant, you know. So then I started just doing that to get over that feeling embarrassed like just feeling a lot of shame. I did a lot of things to get over all these dumb things I feel shame about because I had a lot of guilt and shame I get from growing up, I think Catholic. And so I would just, I started doing a bunch of stuff to get me over that. And just not care about what people thought anymore because that was, I realized that that was keeping me prisoner in my own life. And I wasn't able to like live it how I wanted. And if I kept doing it, I was just going to wake up one day and be old and be like, where the fuck did my life go? I didn't even do what I wanted because I was so worried about it. What everybody else was thinking about me. I know how you kind of got through that moment. I can relate to that a lot. Like recently, I took like took a, like I finished touring for like a long time. And I've been touring for like, I don't even know. I probably don't want half the weekends every year. You know, four days a week for 20 years maybe every other week. So not all the time. But I've been touring for a long time. And there's just like I have no comedy dates on the books. I don't even have to do it if I don't want to. It's like, you know, I do want to. I'm feeling but it's like, but for the first time, I was like, a little bit of me was like, who am I? You know, like, I don't like, I don't have, I always kind of define myself. I think by like achievements, like some sort of achievement. And I don't even feel much reward from achievements. But it's just the only way I knew to like have like, to define myself for some reason. It's like a measure, at least. Yeah. It was just something like, am I okay? Like, am I like, I guess, I guess this means I'm okay, right? If I'm achieving something that I must be okay, right? So that's just been like such a spot where I'm at. Right now. Do you mean like two? Yeah, just recently I've been there. I'm just recently been there. And I went into this plant medicine. And I started like, but they record you while you do it, like while you're under it. So then you can go back and listen to the recording after most of the stuff, most of the stuff I was saying was just like, am I okay? Am I okay? Am I okay? It was just like this, like, this voice inside of us asking this all the time. So do you feel like when you achieve things, you're like, okay, well, I must be doing fine because I did this and this and this. But then you feel kind of empty inside because it's more like, oh, this is just something that everybody gets to see that you did. But it's not really about you. It's not really necessarily like, do you know you're like the things you value. Do you live with like doing things like, oh, I'm nurturing this thing that I value and this thing. Or is it more like, oh, this is the goal I need to achieve. And then you kind of ignore what you value to get to it. No, I don't know what I value to get to it. But I do, I don't, I think I haven't had like a lot of like strong list of what my values are. I think I have them. I know I have them, but I've never really kind of listed them out. So funny you say that that's kind of like what I'm working on with this therapist right now is like, well, what are your values? What are your beliefs? And and actually being able to see, okay, well, what I'm doing, does this go towards? Does this like honor those? Or is this something that doesn't honor those? Right. So at least to give me more of like a, a map, like kind of a chart of what's going on. Yeah. No, I just think I didn't know any way. I didn't, I never felt like look at me. I just felt like, well, what's a way that you can know you're okay? And it's like, okay, well, if I have to achieve something, right? Like, if I do something, then, and we get it done and everybody and and and it seems like everybody thinks it's fine, then it must be fine. You know, I just didn't have any, I didn't have any other, I'd never had a pattern built inside of me. It's like, well, this is really what means something to you and this, you know, does that make any sense? It makes, I think so if I'm understanding it correctly. So it's kind of like you, it doesn't feel almost though, like then you're not super present in your life when you're focusing on like, okay, this is what I got to do. And then you're not really like really absorbing every moment. And then that gets you so much anxiety because then you get to it and it's like, oh, well, we're at all the time go that I got to this, but I didn't even live. And now more time has passed and now I got it, but to what cost I didn't even like really spend the time enjoying it. Yeah. Oh, dude, it's so crazy. That's like you're reading what I was writing out yesterday. Yeah, that's what this therapist was saying. It's like, well, you have to take time when you have certain things that you're proud of that you recognize that with yourself. I came in and I'm proud of you. You did a good job and or we did a good job or this is neat. And so yeah, just I never, I don't know. I never, I didn't have a strong other value system. Like thankfully, I didn't have like a strong immoral value system. I thought like crime or murder stuff like that was okay. I knew those things, but I didn't have a much other sense of like, yeah, I don't know. I guess I just the only way I knew how to be seen like, like, I guess if it was some sort of achievement, then I would be in scene, I guess, or something. And then that made things kind of okay. But yeah, at a certain point, you're just like, I was even there. I was even there. Yeah, I got to the end of this touring. I was like, yeah, yeah. And then you'd think, but I should have been like really enjoying this the whole time. But I was just in my head thinking about like either being hard on myself or like, that's what it was. That's what it is. And then you're not like being really immersed in it. And then it passes you by. And it's like, this is a cool thing. Everyone thinks it's a cool thing. But I wasn't even really there. Like if I'm really being honest. Yeah. And it's hard to separate that like wanting to do something just right and being present and just letting yourself exist without worrying about doing it bad, you know, because it's like you still want to be like well represented. But then that's still caring about what other people think. And it's not making you be in the I think about the stuff a lot too, because I struggle with this stuff too. Yeah. Yeah. That's how I can that's how I can breathe. Yeah. No, as you're saying this, I'm like, damn, that's so crazy. I've had these thoughts too before because you get really in your head. You beat yourself up all the time. Yeah. People are like, dude, you're so hard on yourself. Yeah. It's like, I don't know. I feel that some, but it's like, it's the only way I know how it's like. It doesn't even feel like you're being hard on yourself when you do it. It just feels like you're being realistic. And you're being like, well, I'm just not an idiot. And you see people all the time that are like not hard on themselves. And then you're like, well, I don't want to be delusional like that because that's not helping them, you know. So if anything, I err on the side of caution and I'm a little bit, I see myself in a little bit worse than what probably is true just in case so I can improve from that. The same sense. Yeah. Yeah, you know, but then, but then you get to these milestones and you're like, why was I stressed out for so long? You know, and then somebody will ask you on a podcast like, what was your favorite part about touring? And you're like, fuck, I was stressed out the whole time. I don't even, I can't even remember something like I obviously I was doing exactly what I want to be doing, but I was so stressed out. I didn't even like enjoy so much of it. Yeah. And you're like, fuck. It's kind of like an impulse. You get in like kind of this like paddle ball match with your or like this, you get in like this padel, pat, what do they call it? Ping pong. Yeah. Yeah. You get in like this ping pong match with yourself. But yeah, I think in the end, it's like, I don't know, it takes focus to like do certain things and it does take like a lot of self monitoring and stuff. Like I grew up with like a lot of self monitoring, like always kind of monitoring myself. Like is this okay? Is this okay? Do I seem okay? How do I seem? Am I okay? Where do you think you got that from? I think I just didn't have anybody telling me that anything anything was okay. You had to guess kind of. Yeah. So constantly guessing. Like I should do like things like to suit myself when I was growing up. Like I would rock on my bed all the time as a kid. Like my brother and I was bed one on wheels and they would wake and then one of you, they'd be across the room. Like we would both have like rocked. And sometimes they would be like kind of like over by like they were both trying to get out of the room. Like it was like cars trying to leave. Like traffic jam. Yeah, traffic jam. I used to walk like step on certain things like monitor. I was walking. I used to swallow on both sides of my mouth like like by your cheek kind of. Yeah. Do certain things because just to create patterns. So some so things would make sense to me in my life. Like because I think I just didn't I had no idea if anything made sense. Yeah. And it was harrowing. I think as a kid because then you're so into you're just everything's internal. You're like this sort of like a fish that fucking somebody put on some land. No, I feel like and let you be alive. I feel like I um I had most of my existential crises as a kid. I feel like people have them as adults. - Would it existentially, that's the truth. - You guys bring it up so we can say it 'cause I know we say it all the time. - But also, maybe that's not the right word for this 'cause I was a kid, but I just had so many questions as a kid and I was one of those kids that asked questions to my mom all the time and I'd freak out. I get like, I throw up sometimes because things didn't make sense. Like, do you know that? - That's like a cartoon character, sorry. - No, no, no, but it didn't like, like being in space and then black holes and then I'd worry about a black hole forming right next to the earth and my mom wouldn't have the answers and like, but how do you know? But how do you know? That can't happen and just stuff like that. - Oh yeah, I was worried a black hole that the music would be so loud in there. - And a black hole. - Yeah, and I'm like, I'm gonna fucking hate that shit. That's why I didn't want to be an astronaut. - That's so funny, that's so autistic. - You didn't want to do it for the loud noises? - Well, just to allow music. I'm like, I'm gonna fucking call the cops. They're gonna come over, I was gonna get pissed. They're gonna make a, it's gonna be a world star video or whatever. What an existential crisis is. An existential crisis isn't a formal mental health diagnosis. It's a pattern of thoughts and feelings centered on big questions like who am I? What's my purpose? Does anything really matter? How should I live given that life is fine? - Yeah, that's literally what I would think about as a five year old. And I remember just seeing other kids playing and stuff and I would just be like, mom, what's, you know, is the world gonna end, you know? It's just stuff like that, like a-- - Yeah, I had to worry too early, I think. - Yeah, yeah, I think me too, yeah, worried all the time. - Why do you think you had to do it though? - I don't know, I think I just was curious. I think it comes from curiosity, isn't curiosity cool? Like it's like so double edged sword 'cause curiosity makes us wanna create and ask things. But then also curiosity is the reason for like, I don't know, bestiality, for example, right? 'Cause it's like, it's all coming from like a wonder, what if? - Oh, yeah, that's true. Bestiality, I mean-- - That's why the cat, it got kills, it's 'cause of that. 'Cause it's really awesome. - Yeah, I didn't know I wanna see that. If they do like a mural of that, I don't wanna see it. - Of a cat? - If a cat got killed through bestiality, I'm out. But-- - Sorry, I don't know how I got down that train aside. - No worries, I don't think so. - We're talking about being curious, and I don't know why I found that. - No worries, I don't think we even know what we're talking about, but it's good. - No, no, we're talking about like-- - You just making any sense at all. - I don't think so. - I'm following you, and I think I know what you're saying. Do you know what I'm saying? - I think so. - Are you thinking about the girl in the gym? - No. - But what if this whole time when we were talking, that's just what you were thinking about? - Oh no, no, no, no. I wouldn't let my brain just like, I don't let my brain just do that anymore. Like, I'll try to stay locked. I'm happy to be here with you. - Sometimes I do that, and I catch myself. It's like tabs, and then I'm like, okay, don't leave that tab open. Just close that one out, so that way I can come back. - Yeah, I control the tabs. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know? Every now and then, the one of them will get out of hand and off the chase and run the street on the ship. - Yeah, yeah, it's like you get a virus every once in a while. - But I control the tabs. - Yeah, it's like a porn pop-up, and you're like, fuck. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - But no worries talking about-- - We were talking about like, as kids just being warriors too soon. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. - I think that's it. You just find, for some reason concern comes in too soon for a kid, and I don't know why, sometimes why that happens. - I think when you're a sensitive kid, that's part of it, like you're sensitive, so like, but you don't know when you're a kid that you're sensitive. Everybody else tells you you're sensitive, but you don't know what somebody else's experience is, and how they're perceiving the world. So you only know, like, oh, that really hurt, and everybody seems to not feel that, but to me, it hurt really bad, and now I'm being dramatic, and I feel it so much. - And then you worry something's wrong with you. - Yeah, yeah, 100%, I always thought I was so weird, and I always felt like, yeah, did you feel like that too? - Oh, I felt like my life was kind of a nightmare when I was a kid. I'm not getting in like, I'm not in any woe as me shit, but shit was kind of a nightmare, and so I thought that the outside is this reflection of me, so I must be a nightmare. Like, oh, if this, 'cause the world just centers around you, you're a kid, that's how you know. So it's like, fuck, if everything's so fucked up out here, then it must be, it's a reflection of me, I must be fucked up, you know? And that, like, I think when you, for me, realize that, well, I think it just like, I don't know, it makes a lot of things, you're going uphill a lot. It's a battle a lot. - Yeah, and I think it's kind of like, you know, when you get older, your taste buds decline, I think when you get older also, like, you get, maybe less sensitive, 'cause you get more data, and you get more use to like, certain experiences, so then things don't feel as intense, so you're still sensitive now, but probably less than when you were like brand new, you know? - Yeah, you start to get the hang, like, think no matter what horse you're on, you kind of get the hang of how it rides a little bit. - Yeah, so I feel like a lot less stressed out now than I did as a kid, to be honest. I feel like as a kid, I was like peak, like just, everything was overwhelming in too much, you know? - Yeah. - And then I felt like, how come everybody else seems to be getting along, and I'm so weird, and I'm trying to be like them, but I'm not, they're on to me, you know? That's what it is. - I always felt like I was trying to have to like, I didn't always feel that, a lot of times, I felt like I was having to try to posture to fit in, and I didn't really know where I fit in, and also sometimes I was kind of glad that I didn't fit into just one place, though. Like, I think there was bits of all of that, you know? But I do start to recently, I start to like say thank you God for these things that happened, right? Even if some of them are painful, I can say thank you, even if something was painful, I can say thank you God, you know? Because that's the only way, right? Like even if my family stuff like, I can still be very grateful to my mother for having me. You know, I can be very grateful to my father for having me. Like, instead of sometimes being generally like, yeah, sometimes I get in the space from generally upset, but I can still find a lot of specific things that I have gratitude for, and that gives me like a different position to operate from, you know? - For sure. - So I can sit there and think like, oh, I'm upset at my mom about this, or this thing happened, or my brother or this, or my boss, whatever. But if I can find some, oh, thank them for this, right? And then that's kind of where I can hang my head on with them, you know, and if my thoughts start to go down some of these other spaces, I can put up some boundaries and say, I'm not going down those spaces anymore, just because it's not the best place for me to be. Does it make any sense? - Yeah, 100%. And it comes from self-trust and open-mindedness, and it's a fine line. That's what I've been thinking about too, 'cause I've been like, is it that I don't trust myself or I'm open-minded? I tell myself I'm open-minded, but is that an excuse to not trust myself? Do you know what I mean? Like, sometimes you wanna be open-minded and not think, oh, I know all the answers, because most of the time you don't know all the answers, so you look for like, you're open to what people have to say and feedback, which is good, but then it can go too much to where you don't even listen to what you think and you're, you know, the gut feeling, because with the excuse of, oh, I'm just being open-minded, I don't wanna be like, I know everything, you know? Does that make any sense? So then sometimes it's like, oh, the measure is, if people are liking it, but then if that's the only measure and you're not thinking like, in your gut, I'm not proud of that. That's when you end up feeling like, 'cause I've done things where people have liked, but then I've been like, but you know, that doesn't really reflect my values very much and I don't feel good about it, even though it went viral. I don't know if I really feel good about that. It's almost like you sold out a little bit 'cause you didn't listen to the voice that was like, but is that something new value, even if everyone else likes it? - Yes, there's something else to evaluate. There's things that I've put out there, like, or that are out in the world that I wish, sometimes, I hadn't put in certain, like, could be a special or this or that, but then some of it is, I won't even be fair to myself. I will hold myself to my older, myself, when I tape a certain special or something to a certain special, I'll only have two specials. I will hold myself to when I tape the special or when I put a certain joke out there. I'll hold my current self to the time at that time. - Yep. - Like, I'll hold the person at that time to my current way of looking at the world. So that's when I search for, well, as many of you're too hard on yourself, you're holding a past self to a current belief. That is like, if you watch somebody do that, that would be, it would be insane to watch somebody do that. - So that's when it's bad to romanticize something is when it holds you trapped into it. You'd think romanticizing is good, but then it's just making a story that's better than the current one and that's not good. - Well, sometimes romanticizing, I think it's interesting because we're kind of bringing it back to that. Sometimes romanticizing is, it's almost a savior way of like, if you really had those moments for the past or those feelings, like sometimes maybe you're grateful that your brain romanticizes them, you know? Like maybe if you were trapped in a, you know, if you were like imprisoned for, like as a prisoner of warring, but there's, you, the thing you remember the most is, like, chats with the guards on a Sunday. - Right. - You know, it's like, or being able to sit there in peace and meditators. You know, I don't know. - Totally. Well, it's like, if all the stories in your head are not quite right, why not make them good? So that way you have like a good like story. Because if it's all made up anyway, why not make up something fun, you know? Instead of like making up something bad. It's all made up, like, I think. - Yeah, dude. - Yeah. - You're so true. Yeah. I think real, I started, I think I'm just so funny. I'm like just like in the past 10 days, like in this place where it's like, I'm realizing a little bit more the control [BLANK_AUDIO] that I have over how to frame some of my thoughts and frame some of the ways that I'm looking at things and how kind of off some of it has been, you know? And yeah, I guess I'm grateful that I can still kind of learn and it's definitely a slow process. - I feel like sometimes-- - I don't like to lie to, I don't know. Every, it's like, I like to be, I don't know. I like the comfort of the old thoughts and ways, but it's just after a certain point, it doesn't, it's not serving you anymore. - Yeah, I feel like it's like going on a diet or eating healthy, but with your brain. So like when you're like reframing things, expressing gratitude, being present, that's eating healthy. But every once in a while, you wanna dip into the junk food and that's the, you know, going back and thinking about things that don't even make you feel that good. But for some reason, you do it anyway, even though it's not helpful, because why? Like, it must be doing something to do that. - Right. - Yeah. - Oh, well, I think for me, I really, there was a time where I was like, man, sometimes I don't wanna leave these old feelings to be in sorry for myself or feeling bad or thinking about the sad things. Sometimes I don't wanna leave those feelings. Sometimes I would, 'cause they're the only for, at a certain point for years, they were the only friends that I felt like even had like somewhere deep inside of me. It was like those were the realest things I knew was like how much pain I was in or how I felt or like this level, like a certain level of discomfort. They were like my closest friends. Doesn't make any sense? - Yes, yes. - Like they were the things I felt the most, so to leave them, it almost feels like you're a band and a big part of yourself, which in some ways, sometimes you are, you know? - And I feel like sometimes it's comfortable to be in that mindset of like pain, because if you start feeling too good, that kind of sets out for alarms. It's like, oh, now I have something to lose, but if I can like retreat in the safe place of like, not misery, but like pain, then it's like, well, I was already there and I didn't expect much more, you know, and it's almost like a protective mechanism, 'cause it's scary to feel completely good. - It's scary to feel like you deserve something. - Yeah, that too, like you, but yeah. - It's not, but that's a lie, but that was a lie that I think was stuck in me for a long time. It's scary to feel like I deserve something. Or if I feel like I deserve something, what other people are gonna think of that? - Yeah, or like, oh, am I gonna jinx it? If I feel, I don't know, that's kind of-- - Oh, yeah, for sure. - Oh, I think there's some karma in there. - Something like that, yeah, too. It's like all these, like, oh, I need to like keep putting my, making myself smaller, so that way I don't lose everything almost, or I don't like, fuck it up because I'm being like, I'm giving myself two months, that's not good. I don't know why, we feel like that. - Well, I think there's a nice balance with that though, because I think the world, you do wanna watch your ego, 'cause your ego will also trick you into thinking that, you know, you deserve, like, everything is like, you know, that there's something more special about you. You know, it's okay to think that there's something special about you, but to think that there's something more, like, I don't know. - Yeah, I don't know. - Yeah, but it wouldn't be like that. It's like a fine line between ego and loving yourself the way you love, like, you're sibling, or your mom, or somebody, you know, like, 'cause like, when I see my sister, for example, and like, she's amazing, she's great, she could do whatever she wants, and that's not me being like, thinking that, like, some ego-driven thing, it's just love, you know? - But if you look at it, do it yourself. - It feels like ego when you do it too, it's yourself. You know, when it's like, no, but I do that for other people, why do I feel guilty doing it for myself? It's not like, from a place of superior, it should be just love, and I think that's the struggle. It's loving yourself, but like, keeping yourself in check. Like, not, it's the difference. It's the difference being like, you go testicle and loving yourself, but it's a hard difference to distinguish, I guess. - But I think thinking about it and seeing it a little bit, and having a conversation with it, you know? Like, well, why don't I act this way? Like, what do I get out of acting this way? Or, what am I afraid of if I do behave this way? But having this self-conversation, I think it's like, that's pretty key, and some of it can be fun to have some of that conversation. Before you go, 'cause we gotta stop in a few minutes, 'cause they're gonna, this is a restaurant and a nightclub, and here in Austin, Texas. - It's cute, I've never been here. - You haven't? - No, but I liked it. - It's a good area. - Yeah, it's great, we're glad that you're here. - Yeah, thank you. - When was the first time your parents came to see you perform? And what did they think? 'Cause obviously, you got. - They've never seen me perform. They've never come to see me perform. - Really? - Yeah, they, oh my, they were, they were not happy with me doing comedy for a long time. They're okay with it now, but they haven't seen me perform yet, and part of it was me too. I don't know if I really want my parents to see me perform, you know? - Why do you feel like it's your own thing or something? - I just, I feel like, I can, I really care a lot about hurting my parents' feelings and like making disappointing them or doing, if I say something that they don't think is quite right, I don't wanna get it censored because I know it's gonna get in my head like whatever they think, and I wanna be like, when I do comedy, I wanna be as honest and real with people and connect with them in the most genuine way I can without feeling like, I can't talk about this because my dad's gonna get mad at me, you know what I mean? 'Cause then I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm thinking about what somebody else wants me to do, and then I'm not being myself, and then I'm not even doing a good job at that point. - Yeah, I think you're wasting everybody's time. - Yeah, it's like that defeats the purpose of a, but that's something I'm trying to get over too, that's where I don't care about, not in a bad way, I don't care what my parents think, but more in a like, I'm my own person, and I'm gonna trust that they love me anyways, if I, you know? - Like when no matter what, here. - Yeah. - Yeah, that's it, wow, yeah, I forget. I didn't know how much a relationship with like, I'm on parents' group at that time really, so there wasn't like, I don't have to worry about any of that, but I forget that somebody able to worry about like, you know, when your mom first sees you're doing, you're some of this stuff and like, how that feels. - Yeah, yeah, so. - Yeah, it's interesting to see like, to put that in front of them. - Yeah, yeah, and I had like, you know, my, they were very involved in my life, and very like, you know, not passive parenting at all, they were very, so, and they raised me a certain way, very strict parents, you know? - Oh, that's tough. - Yeah, yeah, so it was very like, so it was even hard for me to like, move out comfortably without feeling like, oh, I'm doing something they don't want me to be doing, that gave me a lot of anxiety, and I know it's like, sounds kind of dumb, I guess, 'cause it's not that big of a deal, but to me, it was. - No, it's a huge deal, disappointing, you're just something that loves you, disappointing your parents that created you. - I don't have tattoos because I know that would make them feel bad if I got tattoos, you know? And I don't, I guess I don't want them that badly, but I think when your parents are really involved in a really strict, and if it's from the best, they love me, you know? But sometimes it makes you like, not feel like your own person until you leave for a while, and then you're like, but why actually like, what do I want to do? What do I think? - Yeah. I don't mean to keep going, 'cause I know you gotta go. - It's okay, yeah, well it's okay, the time limit just happened, we didn't know. - Yeah. - And we've been having a nice time chatting, and I think it's like, yeah, it's been cool. And yeah, and that's important stuff, and sometimes we talk, or like, that's unique things, but that's real stuff that happens for people. It's like, yeah, I don't want to disappoint, what am I being to this, and how do I grow? And like, how do I, you know? It's like we're all kind of examined in the walls to see like, you know, what the space looks like. - Yeah. - But yeah, I'll just appreciate your time, and yeah, we'll have to, we'll just have to do it again soon, so we can have a, we have to talk about some more of this stuff. - Yeah, I'd love to talk about, I think about this stuff all the time. - Me too. - Oh my God, constantly. And then the more I think about it, I feel insane sometimes. I'm like, I have nothing figured out. It's like, I think I figured something out, and then I'm like, I didn't really though. There's so much more, and then it's like, is any of my thoughts even my own? Sometimes I just go crazy, I go down rabbit holes, yeah. And then I'm like, I gotta stop, like, 'cause I'm just, I need to be present, then sometimes I smoke weed so I can get present, that helps quiet down the, the, all the voices that are constantly like, just getting high and watching a movie and not trying to predict what happens, 'cause that's what I'll do. I'm just like, nope, just go seen by scene and don't try to figure it out, just experience it, how it's supposed to be experienced, you know? - Yeah, no experience it, how it's supposed to be experienced. Yeah, I mean, I think it's what we're all trying to do with life, you know? Christina Mariani, thanks so much for hanging out. Thanks for touring with me some and doing some shows, fine. - Yeah, super fun. Thank you for having me on the road with you. I did that when I was two years in, that was insane experience. - Oh, wow, that's crazy. I forget about that. - Yeah, then it went from like doing little rooms to fucking arenas and theaters. That was crazy. - Did we do some really cool, my brain's bad. - Yeah, no, we did, for me it was really cool. It was like a 8,000 person. - Oh, that's awesome. - Yeah, you tripped on the stool, I remember. - Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. - Yeah, oh, no, and. - Ari. - Ari was there. - Yeah, Ari was there, yeah, yeah. That was the biggest place that I've done so far, I think. - Well, yeah, we'll have to do some shows here when I'm in town too, 'cause I'm gonna be spending more time here, 'cause I gotta start practicing comedy again. Coming up here in Appleton, Wisconsin, Chicago, Illinois, La Jolla comedy store, they're Sunnyvale CA at Rooster T-Fathers. Tell them I said hello over there. That's a beautiful place. At the band comedy festival, Rochester, New York. I love their garbage plate, central Pittsburgh comedy bar. - I'm gonna go to Europe next, in January too, later. - And you doing shows in Europe in January? - Yeah, in January, February, yeah. And I have a podcast too. I almost forgot to say that I have a podcast so that I, on my YouTube, it'll-- - And what is it called? - I don't know, I was thinking of this upcoming weekend. - This upcoming-- - What do you think? (laughing) - What do you think of that name? (laughing) You think that's good? - Yeah, I think it's one of the better names here. - Yeah, should I call it that for real? - I think it's not a bad idea. - I have no idea what to call it. - How about this, I'ma think of some titles, and if you haven't started by the next time we talk, by the next time that we podcast. - I'm gonna call it this upcoming week. I swear to God, I would do it if there's nothing else. - Well look, don't second guess it then, don't think too much about it, I think it's a great choice. Christina Mariani, thank you so much. - Thank you, thank you. ♪ Now I'm just floating on the breeze ♪ ♪ And I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be ♪ ♪ On the stone ♪ ♪ Oh, but when I reach that ground ♪ ♪ I'll share this piece of my life out ♪ ♪ I can feel it in my bones ♪ ♪ But it's gonna take ♪