The podcast transcript is a humorous, improvised dialogue between a comedian and guest, centered on personal stories, cultural observations, and satirical commentary. The conversation explores racial identity, small-town dynamics, and historical misunderstandings—such as a fictional scenario where a veteran apologizes to a Chinese restaurant for the Vietnam War, reflecting on how people in isolated communities might misinterpret or project cultural connections. The host uses absurd and exaggerated examples—like a man apologizing to a worker for wartime actions or joking about "Omakase" dining as a "glory hole for food"—to underscore the humor and irony in societal biases. The discussion also touches on Asian-American identity, naming traditions (like "Nguyen"), and the strange ways communities form connections across ethnic lines. While the tone is playful and often irreverent, it reveals deeper themes of empathy, historical memory, and the difficulty of bridging cultural gaps. The exchange ends with light-hearted references to films, games, and pop culture, reinforcing the segment’s comedic and conversational nature. The core message, though delivered with satire, emphasizes how stereotypes and misperceptions can shape relationships, especially in communities with limited exposure to diverse cultures.
Today's guest is a stand-up comedian, a podcaster, and one of the heroes of my heart is beautiful little Leechy. You know, he's my good friend, and I'm so thankful to spend time with him. Today's guest is Mr. Bubbe Lee. Oh, no, leave that on, that shit's tough, dude. It's heavy. It is? Okay, sorry. It's heavy. Dude, you look like Daniel Day Lewis a little bit. Oh, thank you. Dude, you look like Ediris Alba, do you think so? Yeah, dude. Bring up Ediris Alba. Yeah, you know what Ediris looks like, Doc? Just in the dick, you mean, huh? No, your dick is medium. It's fair, Sav. No, I got that limited cock. You got limited cock, dude? - Yeah, dude, one and a half bars, bro. That's a hit on this boy. - Yeah, mine's a minion, dude. - Yeah, you got that minion dick, dude. - Oh, I like that, honey, it's fuck, bro. - Hey, hard worker. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - Hard worker, they do. - Yeah, they're very hard workers. They have overalls, goggles. - Yeah, bro, if your weeners go in with goggles, - Let's do it. - It's got the whole thing, dude. - You're a champ. - You're a champ, chink, chink. - Hey, hey, dude, I can't say that. But here's the rule. You could say it, I could say it. That's my rule here. - Well, I can say what? (laughing) - What can I say, dude? - Oh, peace. - Peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, guys. - Peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace - Geeky, geeky. - Dude, bro, good to see you man, let me get, let me just get into my zone, guy. - Okay. Yeah. You want to pray first? I'm happy to pray if you want. - Can I start? - Yeah, you want to pray? - Yeah, do we have to hold hands? - No, if you can put our hands however you want, it will get warmer and you know it's cold. - Yeah, it's really cold. - I feel like an Eskimo right now, no. - They're charging it's more for heat, I think Israel's doing it. - Israel's definitely doing a lot of things. (laughing) - I mean, they're like, what do they do, dude? - No, you're not. - What do you do, dude? What do you do, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, that, that, that, that, that, right? - You're not saying, you're not saying, you're not saying. - Yeah, let's do a prayer, man. You want to lead us in, man? - Yeah, yeah. - But, you know, when I do prayers, dog, look at me when first before we get into it. - Yeah, for sure, man. - I don't like getting interrupted. - Okay. - So I like to finish what my prayer is going to be, you know what I mean? And it may go long. - Okay. - Yeah. - No, dude, I'm just happy to be here with you, man, I love you. - You're gonna give you a hug first. Oh, excuse me, shit. - I love you. I love you, dude. - Thank you for coming. - See you tonight. - Yeah. - That's the truth, man. - That's the truth, bro, when the streets call me, bro. When the streets call you, they call me, you know what I mean? We have the same collar. - Yeah. - You're having a, hold on. What do you need, bro? - The way you're doing. - Huh? - Sorry. - Bairdick? - No, you're wrong. - That's your new name, dude. - Bairdick. - You can give it to him. - Really? - Oh. - Love your type. - Oh. - Bairdick. - What do you mean, dude? - Yeah. - He loves it, dude. - Bairdick. - Yeah, yeah. He loves the chunk faster, factor. You know what I mean? 'Cause if I was gay, guy, you know what I mean? You know, I've done some stuff. - Like what do you talk about? What do you mean, man? - I've licked a couple. - No. - Yeah, just like a, I just want, I want another flavor. - Oh, wow. - What do you mean what happened? Or like, you know, what's the flavor? - Oh yeah, I don't want to know. - Yeah. - I mean, salty. - Who? - What do you mean? - What part do you lick the top of the bottom? Licking the bottom. - Yeah. - That's gay, dude. - Licking the top, dude. - And gang. - It's just taste. - No, it's omakasa. - Yeah. - You ever go to an omakasa restaurant? You don't know what you're gonna get, dude. - That's what I'm doing, dude. - Omakasa. - Okay. - Right? And sometimes, dude, it's like, I go to omakasa with my girl. Right? And there's certain things she just, I go, you have to eat it. Like, we went to, you know, I've been in the jungle. Have you been, I did not know that. - Yeah, I've been in the jungle. - I mean, I know historically. - I'm looking at my face. - Yeah, yeah. - What do you mean historically? - No, I mean, I'm just saying. - I just mean like, over. - Yeah, I'm not numb. - I know. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm Korean, dude. - I know. - Yeah, there's no jungles in Korea, dog. - I don't know. - So when you say history, you do know. - I'm saying this story. - And historically, you've been watching platoon. You've been watching, you know what I mean? All kinds of movies like Hamburger Hill, Letters E. O'Gee Ma. - Yeah. Well, there's your jungle in the Letters E. O'Gee Ma. - It's a good movie. - It's a good movie. - It is a good movie. We just give Clint Eastwood a round of applause. - Did he make that? - I think so, dude. I think he made it. - I didn't even know that. - He made it when it was 116 years old. - I don't know. - He was amazing. - God, what amazing work. - So anyway, I've been in the jungle. And when I say jungle, I mean, why key key? - I'm not there. - I didn't go in there, but I saw it. - Bro, what are you doing out there? - Dude, I was doing all kinds of shit out there. - Were you doing eye-wask or something? - No, no, no, no. I go out there for vacation. And so, you know, there's a lot of cool Omakase restaurants there. - Okay. - And what is Omakase for people that don't know it? - Do you know it? - I think so. - Well, then tell me about it. - I think so. - Tell me because I don't think you fucking know, dawg. - Omakase, well, hold on. Sound it out. - Yeah. - Omah. - Which is Omah in Korean as mom. - Mom. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And Kase is. - Yeah, a house. - A house. - A house. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - No, I don't know what Omakase stands for, but I know what it is. - Okay, Omakase. - Okay, so do you know what it is? - I do not. - Okay. So, Omakase restaurant is, it's a set menu. - Yeah. - Right? And they feed you in order. They'll tell you what you're gonna get from beginning to end. And generally, my rule, if I'm with a date, you know, I have a girlfriend now. - No. - What? - Yeah, I do. - Oh. - What's happening, dudes? You're not, so what are you gonna do? You're not gonna do. - That's what I do, dude. You know, what am I doing right now, dude? - Why are you doing if you have a girlfriend? - No, I'm killing myself, dude. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's Omakase. - Yeah, yeah. - I choke myself when I kill myself in the heart, dog. - Okay. - Hey, jerkin' off, guy. - Oh, good. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Longer Jean, jerkin' off. - I'm gonna do a 21 times a month, oh, that's what I heard. - Master rate? - Ejaculate. - No. - Yeah, because you'll get testicular cancer. - No, oh, yeah. There's guys that, like, some people, their eyes go bad or whatever. - Like mine? - Huh? - Hello. - No. - Anyway, Omakase is this. You look like a bug that played for the Red Hot Chili peppers right now. - You look good. - You look good, dude. - Yeah. - You look real good. - Omakase is like, set menu. So we went to one place. - You look like a fireman, like in San Francisco, kind of, like, a little bit. - Yeah, I do. - But I was in the fire. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Right? Or you just said something like this. - I got lost and I'm, like, in the fire. Like, I don't know what to do. - That type? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And you brought just a mouthful of water. - Yeah, yeah. - That's the gayest thing, dude. If you're at a fire and, like, kind of, a gay firefighter, you know. - Yeah. - It's just spitting water out of his mouth or whatever. - Yeah, you look like an albino raccoon. - Oh, yeah. - Anyway, let me finish with the Omokasa thing and get to my point, dog. - Sorry, dude, I'm interrupting you. - Yeah, yeah. - I do want to pray. - So anyway, we'll do the prayer later. - Doug May is officially mayor of Chinatown. - Chinatown, look, let's go. - Can I finish my Omokasa? - Yeah, that's fair. - What do we do this? - What do we do? We're just bringing up information. - I understand that, but we're going into a thing. And then you bring up some Chinese firefighter. - He brought that shit up. - Yeah, so the bear deck did that. - Oh, you're not bear deck? - That's bear deck. - Yeah, what are you? - Premium Nick. - Nick was a premature baby and look how far he's going. - Oh, yeah. - Did everything get mature? - I think my skull size is a little small, but everything else, yeah. - Yeah, I could go. - Anyway, look, he's 32 years old, but he'll never hit nine months, you know. - So that's it. - And we had this, let's we forget, bro. - Let's we forget, dude. - Oh, we're at, so we're at this restaurant. - Yeah. - And they gave us the bones of a fish. And they flavored it like it was a potato chip, but it had the brain, like the eyes in the brain, but just the bones of the fish. - No. - And you had to eat it, right? And it's like, I ate it and I looked at her and I go, you just got to eat it, right? So when a penis comes out, you kiss the tip. - Oh, yeah. - That's basically why I, yeah. - What? - That's why I was. - Well, that's what I told you before that when I said that I've kissed the tip of a penis. I mean, what do we, why do you keep doing that? It just makes it back in my neck, right? I know, but it's a flavor thing. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was, that's how we got into the Omakasa thing. It's a flavor thing, dude. Yeah. Well, if you went to Omakasa, whatever they gave you, you'd eat it, right? Try it, okay. Yeah, yeah. It's like a henapena, we kiss it. It's like a glory hole for food or whatever. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a glory hole for food. Well, it's like whatever's in there, that's what you get or what. That's what you get. So no matter what they give you, I just eat because it's supposed to be like, you know what I mean, elegant or, you know what I mean? Oh, Von Gar, yeah. Oh, Von Gar. It's an Epstein class. Yeah, you know what I mean? Your BB. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like off the Epstein tasting menu or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like young fish or whatever. Please, stop, stop. Sorry. Let's move on. Let's move on, we'll take that out. Let me maybe take that out, but so basically, I don't know how I got into the PP thing, but let's do a prayer. But okay, no, but you said you had tasted a little weiner or something. Or you had a little years ago, I tasted the tip of one. Was it on a, what type of person was it on? Color? Yeah, yeah. Or style. Color. Can we go style? Yes, style, rave. Oh, at a rave.
a raver. A raver. Yeah. So you just took a nip off a little raver. Yeah. You know what you're saying? Which what you do. Yeah. It's cultural. Oh, yeah. Glow sticks. Yeah. You'd have glow sticks, right? Oh, if so. And then you would write. Yeah. And then you're yeah. Every once in a while. They just come out, right? And you take a little taste of the salty tip. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's cultural. So basically you've been a couple major laser shows is what you're saying. That's exactly exactly what I'm saying. Just say that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You never kiss the tip. Oh, no, man. Yeah. How about you have I have you had opportunities to. I mean, I've definitely I remember when I was a child, you always try to get a real close dander at your own weiner. You know, I don't know something language to do. You know, I'm just saying. Like I'm sure if you're a kid, a lot of young, we can't talk about children, but yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of people that haven't grown up fully. We'll try to like I've never tried it. We'll try to just get I never tried it. I have I never got I never. If I hadn't been raised with yoga, right? And I could bend that way. Like I had like a, you know, I mean, a master. Yeah. As a kid. You know, I mean, Bobby's son, you know, we have to strengthen your spine. Yeah. You go, oh, I'm master, right? So one day you can kiss your own tip. Oh, right. Like I never had that master. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck Karate. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck right. Karate is just kicking like invisible people. I know. It doesn't work. Yeah. Also in the UFC, you never say he's a karate guy, right? Right? It's always to jitsu, right? Yeah. Or boxing or kick boxing, right? It's never like it's never Tai Chi. Yeah. No one's out there. You have seen doing Tai Chi, right? Am I right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, you know, um, yeah, it's never one of his credits is like his mom wanted him to be able to defend himself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rarely you see tick one doe when you you have see, right? It's usually boxers, kickboxers, um, jitsu guys, wrestlers. What is some of the stuff? Nick knows actually. So let's go to Nick on that. Yeah. Uh, yeah. I mean, he named all the big ones. There's a few select karate guys, Stephen Wonderboy, Thompson MVP. Yeah. But jiu jitsu and uh, Tai Kwando, I think are the big, biggest from traditional martial arts, from traditional, but generally it's wrestling, kickboxing, boxing, right? 100%. I think Halloween is like that one of the best strikers with his hands in the biz. Mm-hmm. So what's up? You don't even know who he is? I do his next other way. He's actually, he was right. He lives and trains where you were just were, right? No. And white geeky and I smelled his essence around me. Did you see him? No, I called him to see if he wanted, you know, I mean, but he was going through something. Yeah. You know, as fighters do, do your heavenly father. Okay. You want to pray? Let's do it. Well, that's, I just started. Okay. Sorry. Dear father, Lord and savior, father of all. Thank you so much. Of the gratitude of the fish fish in the sea. Amen. And the deep fish, like the Greenland shark, who lives 500 years, 500 years ago. Does he really? Sorry, going, no, see, that's what I'm talking about. I forgot. What do you mean? Look at me right now, dude. No, just look at me right now, dude. Can I measure in the prayer? Yeah, because the prayer stopped because you interrupted. All right. What? Don't do that. All right. Greenland shark. All right. Thank you for the trees, nature. Thank you so much for the war. What war do you mean, son? The war within my heart. You know, the war that I want to start with, Theo, because I did one line in his movie and he put me on the fucking poster. That's my prayer dude. Sorry. Yeah. I mean, as if I was in the movie, he put me straight up in the middle of a movie poster, dear Lord, when I had one fucking life. Sorry for throwing, Lord, but I'm very angry. I have a war in my heart. It's yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, one line and no, I'm not done, right? I also had a patch over my face. So most people even know who was fucking me. You know, Lord, please give me the forgiveness. You know, me and the solitude and the confinement and the love for Theo. Amen. Amen. Yeah. Oh, thank you God. Boys, go watch it. You're a little pity on that streaming streaming and streaming. You know, I mean, you were first of all, no, no, first of all, what? First of all, what? First of all, no, first of all, what? Because let me tell you something, but oh, I'm gonna take my glasses off, dude. Okay, let me tell you something, but I'll take my hat off. All right. I'll take my fucking beginning off. You will. Yeah. Right. I don't want to put another. Yeah. I want to put this out. Why is this house over there? I don't know. Oh, this one's over here, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then pick that one. Let me tell you something, but oh, all right. Okay. I'm not a friend of you. We're friends. Yeah, we're friends. Yeah, we're deep. Yeah, I mean, we were in the war. Okay. Yes, we was. Yeah, we was, right? This hat gives me, like, gone, gone with the wind vibes. This has to get me going with the wind via. Okay. Or gone with the nians. Yeah. Nians. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you spell that word in NG UIN. No, it isn't. Spell it out NG UINs. N-G-U-Y-E-N, the most common Vietnamese last name. Yeah. Yeah, Nguyen. Oh, it's how they say Nguyen. Okay. Well, but also a lot of people look that up. A lot of black people if they're asking like, like, like, if something's gonna happen, they'll say that. What do you mean? What do you mean that Nguyen? Yeah. Like, what's up, Nguyen? No. You'll be like, dude, are we going or not? And you'll be like, yeah, Nguyen. Oh, I see. Don't you think? Yeah. I've never heard that. Yeah, I mean, what was that party like? Yeah, I mean, that was Nguyen, like a motherfucker. No, that's, I don't know what to use it. That's racial. No, that was a racial. This hat seems racial. Yeah, yeah, this hat seems very racial. Dude, Bobby, we'll put them back on. I'm going to go back. Let's go back to our regular part. And put these on. Yeah, yeah, my glasses on. Let's get rid of regular. So it was just a joke. I'm grateful that you used me in the movie. Yeah, for sure, dude. I wish you weren't available for more days for one. That's insane. We were shooting something. That's pure insanity. I have nothing going on. It's your schedule. This was 18 months ago. Yeah, it was 18 months ago. Yeah. So anyway, I'm glad I wasn't involved in that. I agree. We probably should take off of it. What? I didn't make this poster, but I did, but I should have said something then. I should have asked you. No, it's fine. I mean, you use, you, here's what it is. If you had a line in my movie, I would put you on the poster. Yeah. Yeah, because it's like, um, you're a big draw, but I should have asked you about it that probably. Can I be honest with you? Because I like to set boundaries. Yeah, if someone likes a pro, and I just got off two ships passing in the night. I know. Why? Like through the night of our moves, the straight our moves. Yeah. Yeah. We just slowly passing through the night. Yeah. Like we don't have any oil. We have no, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We only have like plastic containers. Right. Right. We're just collecting seeds or seeds. Yeah. We're collecting seeds and semen. We're just help. We're just one. We're lost. We're lost. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, um, I don't even know why we got. Oh, yeah. We're passing that. I'm on Luxopro. Yeah. So, um, you know, I like to set boundaries, right? And like to be real. And my, I want to say something real to you is is that, um, I'm ready to hear it. Sorry. I get it. I'm ready to hear it. No, I'll just set it. Okay. Yeah. I mean, so I get the bus bus. It was just a joke, the prayer. Right. And, um, you know, I mean, but I have to be admit, when I first saw it, I was annoyed. Yep. You know, and I have to tell you that as a friend. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I'm grateful that I'm, you know, when people ask me to do things, you know, I mean, but, um, you felt like we're using you. Yeah. Hmm. A little bit. Yeah. I mean, but being on set with you guys and having fun, I already expressed myself to Dave. You know, I didn't know that he didn't even mention it to me. No, he showed me it. I was in my mind. I didn't say it then, but later when I saw him, I said it. So then he goes, then he goes, next movie will get bigger role. Yeah. Yeah. This was the much wider use poster, I think. Oh, here we go. What do you Pakistan? Uh, uh, your Pakistan, all of a sudden, trying to be middle. This dude's poster. Yeah. No, dude. Right. We're at war, guy. Yeah, dude. Nothing you can do. All right. He has a 15 point plan. I got a 10 point plan. They ain't mixing. Right. I got a six point. I got a 40 point point. Yeah. Yeah. It ain't happening. So my point is this. Okay. Yeah. You know, I really like, you know, I mean, because I've heard your stance on Rogan, you know, I mean, um, about your feelings toward, you know, what's going on, especially in that area of the region, I really in the middle east. No, dude. Austin. Oh, a homerah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what's going on over there. Yeah, bro. Bobo shops are shutting down. We're shooting pool with J. Ra today. He followed J. Ra did. He said, I don't know J. Ra. No, but my point is, I really,
You know, I think I agree with you with a lot of these things that you're saying, you know what I mean? I don't say it out loud because, um, you know, I'm a lib tart. I've always have, and I'll always will be. I've always had that. You think so? Oh yeah. I mean, we're all liberal about some stuff. I think we're all just whatever. I'm full of liberal li-- Oh, you are. I'm full of blonde, yeah. I don't give a fuck about no immigration. I didn't know that, man. And it's okay. I don't get it. I mean, I don't, you know, I don't talk about politics, but I just, well, you never talk about it. I never have, never will. You never do. Yeah, yeah. This is the first time I've ever brought it up. Yeah. Really? And I want to say to you that, um, I like what you're saying about it. That's all. Well, it's confusing. It's confusing. And, um, you know, all you have to do is you have to ask a question and you go, why is this happening? And you just some research, right? And then you figure it out. You have critical thinking. And you go, and then you look at the past. And it's a little confusing, you know, and I have a lot of questions. Why are you looking at me like that? You know, I'm just trying to absorb what you're saying. Yeah, these are things that you know, huh? Hello? No, I'm just saying right now, you look like a, like kind of like a wasp that listens to 3/11 kind of. (laughing) Why doesn't, why isn't always, have to be a put down. You're right, sorry. Yeah, you're right, dude. I'm giving you a compliment. You're looking at, I look like a mosquito from some sort of Southern land. Yeah, dude, you know, put it back on then. I'll give you another one. Yeah, give me another one. All right. You look like the, oh, you look like the eighth dwarf on me. (laughing) You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's like sleepy, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy and ramen. No, no, it's gonna be eat. Oh, yeah. Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy. Gookie. No, why? Gookie is not a word I don't think. Gookie monster. (laughing) Oh, okay. Where's the gookie? (laughing) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you seen the gookies around here? Yeah, yeah. Oh, chocolate chip gookies. Yeah. And it's just like Chinese guy with a bugger. You can't pull it chocolate. I remember the days of your back here. I was thinking about some of the stories you told back where you grew up and stuff. Yeah. And it's so weird. And I thought to myself, what if there was a Korean deal on? That'd be so funny. Oh, back when I lived, you know, in Busan, we had a guy in our neighborhood. Yeah. We're calling crazy out of chalk. Left I was Chinese or I was Japanese. We don't know what we're coming with. (laughing) That's like, you know what I mean? Some of your stories, you know what I mean? And the people that you grew up with is so, it's a so so believable and true. Would it translate to Yale's culture, you think? My culture and Yale's culture? We have the same fucking culture. What the fuck are you talking about? What, you know what I'm saying? No, no, I don't know what you're saying. I'm an American. Lovey. No, no, no. I'm tired of this shit. I'm not saying anything. Yeah, yeah, you are. Lovey, I'm not. You're doing this thing again. I'm never done anything. Oh, you're saying you're trying to separate us when we're the same. You and I have the same empathy. All right. You're a very sensitive guy. Are you not? Yeah. I think that you have a tad bit of ADHD. Okay. Okay. And these are things that you, that's why we're friends because I understand these things about you, you know what I mean? And you're sensitive empathetic. Gay dude, really? Whoa, dude, I mean, let's be real. Huh? And you've kissed the tip. I've never had that. Yes, you have. You've kissed the tip, dude. I never even went by anybody's winner in my whole life. One dude, like was trying to get us to like play Navy in his bath or whatever. And, dude, I fucking, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't realize, huh? I didn't realize. Yeah. Oh, you didn't realize. All right. No, I wouldn't do. I signed up for the draft for that case. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was not about to. But, yeah. Yeah. If you, if they, who would you fight for if they had a draft? Well, I, I mean, here's the thing, dude. If they said, 'cause I'm 54, so they said there's a draft and we're extending the age to 55, I think I have a compelling reason to get out. What is it? Well, one of them is that I will kill more of us than them. I'll go, I don't know, and I'll go to circle, you have to do a full circle. Yeah. You're right, right? Right. And then like who you killed Jim Frank, you know what I mean? Like a little like a yard. Like a yard water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would kill more people than them, right? I also have like, you know what I mean? I get hungry real quick. Like some of the, like some of these boats that are out there, I mean, US vessels are out there. They're running on a food. Right? I was in a jungle fighting in a war, I was just biting trees and shit. Eat whatever. I got eat, I would eat anything. If I would, dude, if you got shot, I'm going to take some. But what you eat, eat, eat part of my body. Is this some? Well, what part were you at first, you think? Be honest. The tip, dude. Ooh. Oh, just have it. All of you can have it. No, no, just the tip. Just if you eat the tip off, dude, it's going to fucking look so weird. You're dead. Look at the fuck, man. I'm a POW. No, be honest. No, this is what I want. If I was a POW, yeah. Yeah. Don't eat just the half of my winery. You know what I'm doing? I would talk, I would cut all of your testicles and your penis, right? And I would tuck everything inside a hole. And then at your funeral, people would go, "Theo, what was that fucking trans man?" Yeah. No. I'd do tricks. Dude, what if I was a trans man and they buried me in a trans am, dude? Yeah. Bro. I'll be there at the funeral. Yeah. But dude, that'd be crazy. Yeah. Just don't eat. Draft wise, would you? Well, let me finish this up. Do you just threaten me to eat my wiener in a fiction? Oh, it's getting good. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll say that then. Because there's a comedy podcast. Yeah, I understand that. Do you understand that? But when you show up with your energy, mine. What do you mean my energy? Some of it seems today to be a lot and a little bit threatening. Is that fair to say? A little bit, a little bit. Yeah. I'm going to have a. I'm going to stand again, huh? Yeah, you're just like, I'm going to. Yeah. You know, when you say, I'm just going to nip off the end or whatever. Yeah, I would never do that, dude. You know what I. But I don't want my wiener to be missing the end of it. And people are like, what happened? It got nipped or whatever. I do. Dude. The onus true. Can we say nipped or not? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't nip. Right? I wouldn't lick. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't gargle. Oh. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't smile. What are you talking about? No, what I'm saying, if you died in the war, and I would literally take your tags, right? I would bury you. I'd make a little. I'd make a little, you know, I mean, tombstone, your lies, comedian, Theo von, and I wouldn't do anything. You wouldn't do anything in my body to desecrate it? No, dude. But everyone around me, other soldiers, yeah. You think so? Yeah, because I know you. There's a way I'm going to eat to get the tip. You don't need any part of your body. I would do that. Fucking have a little bit of your ass, boy. Not your ass, but just like, boy. Sorry, buddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me put this hat on you. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to put my hat on. Bobby, can you scoot your chair to the left, little? What? Just scoot left a little when you can get seated, okay. 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is risky and it can be volatile. So do your own research and trade responsibly. Dude, I remember the summer, bro. I remember the first time I'd ever seen a um. What's it called? A eagle, bro. First time. I got not a school for summer vacation, right? Do you remember? You know that last day of school year, you get out and I remember walking down the street because my bike somebody stole my bike and I saw that beautiful thing. And I couldn't, I didn't even know they had. You could put that much just dang just quality beauty on the something. I didn't think you could get something that nice unless you rented it from like an Ashley furniture or something. But anyway, iconic summer moments deserve an iconic drink. It's Mountain Dew, an American original. The refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew is the perfect companion to your American summer adventures. When I get me a little Mountain Dew man, I like the diet because you know, I'm saying because I get that rattle and he said, I'm I like that Mountain Dew diet and my color. I get to hold my little God nephew sometimes and he's a baby and if you just dude, I get me a little Mountain Dew diet. I mean, you put my God nephew in my arms and dang. Amen, brother. Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew and American original tasting great since 48, 1948. Look for American do limited time packaging or find it in stores near you at Mountain Dew.com. That's Mountain Dew.com. But you have like Tokyo Drift AF, bro right now. Thank you, man. Another one, huh? I'm going to keep going. I'm going to see a little Tokyo Drift as far. It's a fun game. I'm moving. I mean, huh? Hello? Yeah. I'm just saying. Okay. So in a war, Now what would you do in a war? Yeah, I would. I hold on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Chill out, man. We're fighting again. Let me let me give you the circuit. Okay. Give me a second. Yeah. Yeah. We're doing Vietnam too. Oh, there's got to be a sequel. Yeah, because we lost the last one. Did y'all? Y'all I'm always on your team. I was born here guy. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'd still be doing it if I was in American social. I still be wearing this hat. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's good. Yeah. So I can sneak onto the other side. Bro, we would do the boobie in the best military ever. You and I. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Dude, we would fucking stay up all night. Yeah. Ordean. Oh, dude. I would relapse eating twizzlers. Oh, yeah. Do we do? We relapse on opium. Do that our own government would sell it at soldiers. Yeah. Yeah, we would be shooting opium. Yeah, listening to purple hay. Some folks born. Yeah, we'd be cut. Oh, what is good for absolutely nothing. Say it again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and we're like shooting opium right and they're just like kissing tips. Yeah, dude, it. No, yeah, yeah, you be kissing the dip with music. Heroine just the tip. Well, I just want to be straight and help my country. I'm straight to dude. I have a girlfriend now dude Here's what we'd be doing. We'd be staying up late and get pissed off Yeah, and I would cut one of my nipples off and throw it and you catch it in your mouth. Oh, that'd be cool, dude That's how fucked up we'd yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's partying. That's partying, dude Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then I would sew it back on your nip. Yeah, yeah, dude good god You're good for absolutely nothing. Say it again. Yeah, yeah, I don't go. Yeah, anyway, we're one of us Vietnam to that what would you do? You're drafted the obo draft it Okay, born in the USA isn't a Vietnam song That was written way after I know but I'm just saying and don't sing that song then for that one about the bus so I won't sing it Let's go on what do you want what when you meet what? Me, bro, dude, I'm USA all the way dead. Are you? Oh, yeah, dude Well, guess what one of my favorite restaurants are Cracker bar. Oh, it is American or what cracker bar cracker bar. Yeah, really I think it's the best breakfast dude It's a good breakfast spot. It is sometimes again, but when I walk in in the South They're always is like the everyone's up to working. Yeah, when I walk in yeah Well, there's kind of like a moment of remembrance Like when you think so. I'm not saluting me. No, they're like what the fuck is this well It's because some of it's just like there's like an old it like I remember this like my my stepdad and he was in the wars, right? And he what war? I don't know he was in at least two two out of three and He went to he would take my mom to the Chinese buffet. It was cool. No, no, no, in town He would take this mom up there like this place called yellow bellies or whatever is a Chinese buffet or whatever I don't know. What was it called? See if you look it up, but he would take my he would take my mom over there I'm not even joking, huh? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was I'm not joking, Bobby. No, it's it's not called yellow bellies It was no way. It's called yellow bellies, dude bro. Yeah, yeah, it was called Okay, okay, and they changed the name they changed one of the letters on the sign. Yeah, yeah, yeah to To like yellow bells or whatever. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's better because the eye burnt out or whatever So it was just like yellow bells and it was just like oh it was a belly with an eye at them. Yeah. Oh, that's so funny Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying is a play on words. Oh, yeah, but it's um So anyway, what happened was he would after dinner He would always sit my mom in the car and then he'd go back in and he would like Apologize to some of the workers at work there for like things that had happened when he was in a different complex Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow We've never been in a conflict with China Is the Chinese restaurant? Yeah, so your uncle would go into a Chinese restaurant and Apologize It wasn't my uncle but somebody's I'm a mom Alright, whoever your mom's mashing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so we've never been in a war really with China So he's apologizing to a group of people that they have no idea what the fuck he's talking about They know no, they don't know a Chinese people are like, oh, oh, thank you so much for Apologizing because we were feeling so bad about it. No, but dude, not everybody this happens a lot in small towns Bobby and this is the truth a lot of small towns if they open up a place that is ethnical in the town and it's different Yeah, they will hire anybody that even looks like that culture to work there, so I could get a job at yellow belly Yeah, dude manager, huh management maybe assistant manager, okay, okay, you know, maybe yeah They might let you manage on Sundays, but what I'm saying is this so he would then he would go in and kind of apologize And you have to think this is something kind of crazy. Yeah, so a lot of people went and fought in some of these wars right then they came back And they never saw anybody from any of these cultures until like 40 years later when a restaurant with some different Ethnic old food showed up in their town, and that's the that's like the they never that's kind of crazy to think that you know does it make sense to you? Let me get this right. Yeah, okay, so what you're saying is Your let's just call this guy Jim Okay, what would you want to call him his name is Charlie. Okay, all right. We've got to go in Charlie. Huh? Yeah, yeah, ironic that his name is Charlie I mean love yeah He was a knob you were gonna call him that no matter what So yeah, but sure you can yeah, and he died and he wore a lot of the rest of his Charlie He wore a lot of gloves telling me is Charlie came back from the Vietnam War. Yeah, didn't see an Asian person for 40 fucking years Yeah, right and all of a sudden yellow belly opens a Chinese restaurant semi Chinese all Chinese. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, semi Chinese. All right, and he walked in there and because he hadn't seen in A Vietnamese person in 40 years he went up to a Chinese person and apologized for the Vietnam War and what he did. Yeah, okay, his heart had been changed. Yeah That's the truth Bobby Bobby, that's the truth I swear I know but maybe go to a mom would tell you said that but maybe go to a Vietnamese person But they don't have a Vietnamese restaurant in town. We it doesn't at that point It's like you just take what you can get broke. They they're they'll hire a fucking Mexican guy who's a fucking who's high No, his eyes look Chinese. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hi Mexican guy. Yeah, just like you smoked up when you were saying when you were here whose eyes You know, he's got this low rider eyes, you know like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah So what you're saying to me is is that and did he feel did Charlie feel better about doing that? He felt no, I just think over the years his heart had been like he'd just kind of like, you know something that you know He just had probably some remorse. Yes, and and I feel empathy for that, but I'll tell you what the Chinese people were thinking at yellow belly Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what that's the other thing getting what will he talking about now? Yeah, yeah, because they're not in the Vietnam Do you understand? Yeah, I feel like no, no, no, no, I think that there's I know I know exactly what I think no because we do this all the time No, we don't yeah, yeah, no, we do we do this all the time and you know We do this You say you and I have this conversation a lot. Yeah, you and I always go into and I don't want to do it anymore, I think this is the last time you give me the other half Oh, you want that share crop ahead, huh? How are you doing man? Huh? I'm good, sir. Yeah, Billy Lee. That's my name Billy Billy Lee Billy Lee. I love you. I love you. I'm happy to be here today working for you, sir. What can I do for you? I just want to apologize For what I did to your people in the Vietnam War
I apologize. What's your name, man? My name? Yeah, man. My name's Clark. Clark, Clark, Clark. I apologize, but see how that feels. You have, yeah, you have nothing to do with the fucking Vietnam war. Yeah. You're a white dude named Clark wearing that hat because you happen to get a job as a bus or a yellow belly, right? And some guy Charlie. I've been working up for almost three months. Yeah, yeah. So a Clark, I want to apologize because I know you were in that hat. You're probably, you know, I mean, yeah, I slaughtered a village. Yeah, man. And I forgot about it, man. So, hey, I want to give me a hug, man. We hug, right? Yeah. Give me a little tip. Five bucks. Yeah. That's what he would do. He'd go down and hit him a little extra. Yeah. And he, he, uh, Charlie seemed like he would hide the tip. So there'd be a like nice like, it's like in heated rivalry. You see that show? I haven't seen that. Yeah. Yeah. You know that show, the gay gay hockey show. Uh, is that a show? Yeah. You never heard of heated rivals. The hottest show in America. Is it really? I think I've heard Josh Morris. He's in it. Yeah. Yeah. Um, it's about these two, um, gay top gay hockey players, but they're in love. Oh, there's a lot of gay love. Is Johnny Paolo in it? Yeah. No, no. I think Johnny and Josh Morris. He might be in it. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, um, he did a stage. There's a scene in he, he, he, he did rival, right? Yeah. When one of the hockey players passes a water bottle, right? So I'm going to just show you what one of them does. All right. So they're not out. They're like these like men, like hockey players. Right. Can you pick it up with that hand, please? Yeah. Yeah. No, pick it with that hand. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And he passes like this, right? And then he does this. How does that feel? Do what they say? So the people can see it on the camera. So you know, okay. Do it with your other hand. So do it with this hand. Use your left hand. Yeah. Yeah. I don't have a lot of control in this hand. I'll try. I don't give a shit. Okay. So you pick the, pick the bond. Uh, pick the top. Okay. So you grab it like this and he goes, what? Yeah. And then you take the bottle. Oh, that's like one of the first episodes. It's like kind of like a, um, gay relay race. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was a gay relay race, but it's also a way to show like, you know, mean, right? There's foreshadowing. Yeah. There's some foreshadowing. So if I did that to you, you're not doing a show together at the store, you know, you'll probably hand me a bottle of water, right? And I handed you a bottle of water and you stayed up. And I, and I, and I kind of just briefly with my finger rubbed your finger. Yeah. How would you feel about that? I would feel like you were rubbing my finger and I would feel like you were trying to give me, trying to say something to me, trying to say something to me with just your finger without even saying something to me. Exactly. And that, and that, and it would be something that was gay. Yeah. And I'll tell you that's right now. I don't do a fuck. What would you do that to me? What if I was unconscious? No, dude. You have to feel the finger. Oh, you know that slogan, feel the finger. My grandfather used to say it all the time, feel the finger. But do you see that? See? Yeah. Yeah. So your grandparents can do that kind of shit. Yeah. But my grandparents can't go into a, um, a Chinese restaurant. Yeah. A buffet and, um, a Chinese buffet, a Chinese buffet and trying reconcile some differences. That's what I don't understand. I'm saying that you can reconcile differences with people that you, you, you have to reconcile differences with. Yeah. Not some other nation or people. It makes no sense. I don't know if I, I don't know if I agree with you. What did I make your argument? Well, make your argument. I'm trying to make it. Yeah, make your fucking argument. You keep attacking you. I'm not attacking you because what you're saying is nonsensical. Oh, I'm just, bro, no, you don't know anything about you think here, here's what you think. No, I'm, no, I'm sorry, Pakistan, right? I've been here so many different times, all right? And I'm going to say what I'm going to say. Okay. But you think no, you think you're giving angry sharecropper energy right now. Yeah. And I am one. Okay. Okay. I have, I have farm. I'm a farmer. Okay. I'll go do it all on. You seem to think that the whole country, I mean, continent of Asia, right? Is one block that we have the same traditions, language, writings, culture, etc. They're all, I'm listening completely different, right? I believe so it's like saying, oh yeah, in Americans like somebody from the Congo. That's not true. Yeah. It's not. What if you said like, okay, somebody from Mississippi is like somebody that's from North Carolina. They're similar. Yeah. Yeah. They look similar, but they're different. One of them probably watches out our banks and one of them probably listens to the soundtrack at the gym of Mississippi burning or whatever. But the content of North America, how many countries are in there? On the continent of North America? 51. No. Isn't there three? Dude, you're fucking set me up. There's no, I'm not setting you up, dude. Yeah, you're your spot. Dude, you're massage. I'm not massage, dude. I'm the opposite. You are? Yeah. I'm in rubble. You what? I'm in rubble. You're in rubble? Yeah. Okay. You're just showing up saying. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what I'm saying to you is there's three countries on our continent, which are what? North America, South America, Mexico. No, no, no. What is it? That's why you know, I mean, Charlie shouldn't have said shit, dog. But dude, he doesn't understand. I would like to know politically things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't understand. There's Canada, America, and also Mexico. Yeah. Yeah. Now, Central America, no, that's a, what is Central America? Yeah. That's not a part of, okay. This is when the wizard runs out of his magic, right? He means how many countries, I mean, how many countries are in North America? This is including Central America. Yeah. But Central America, North America, I don't think so. Just, just put it in North America. How many countries are in North America? Bro, no, just let me finish. It's never gonna. How many countries in North America, 11? That's Central America and stuff. It's including. But yeah, in this, oh, Haiti. Yeah. In North America, there's three countries. Okay. Oh, grand. So it's, it's like, okay. Yeah. But here's my defense in defense of Charlie. He is defensive who? Charlie. Oh, okay. He would call, bro, they don't, what I'm saying is in, in some, in some smaller communities, they will open up a place that has a cuisine from an area, even around, right? So the room, what do you mean? Like lower, like lower the ring shirt? Yeah. They'll open up with some fucking Mongolorian, uh, Mongolorian restaurants. Those are my favorite. Or you know what I'm saying? They'll open up a month, uh, Mandarin. Yeah. Or Mongolian store, a fry place. Chinese adjacent. They'll, yeah, Chinese adjacent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they'll open that up, Bobby. And then people, the people that work there, first of all, there's no way, anybody, there's no way to win this argument. It's fucking crazy. Let me take this hat off. There's no, I'm gonna hear you out. What's the problem with that? Yeah, I don't like it. I want to just be my someone. Yeah, yeah. So what, there's no way to win this argument. I'm so interested to see how you're gonna do it. Go ahead. This is my final rebuttal. Alright, go ahead. And this is like the end of that movie. Have you seen a time to kill? No, give me another movie. Alright. Uh, uh, oh, Lincoln lawyer, but I think I'll give me another movie. Alright. Um, bridge over the river. Why? Yes, I have. Okay. So this is different than that. Okay. Here's what I'm gonna tell you. Well, that's San Tino. It is. Yeah. Hold on. Yeah, what's up? I, you're, I'm, I'm doing Theos. So project Hill Mary's one of the best movies I've seen in years. I know it was an amazing movie, right? What's it called? Bus Boys? I cried, I cried like four times. I told you, dude. That's one of the best movies I've seen in years. What's it called? And then right after I went and I watched bus boys, which is now in limited theaters all around the country. Yeah. How do you feel about bus boys? Bus boys, bus boys is up there with some of the greatest um, fantasy sci-fi dramas. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Yeah. I loved every second of it. Hi, Theo. Hey, brother. What's up, man? We miss you. We miss you. Love you guys very much. Start in a rough time. Yeah, but we'll talk about the movie. No, we, but what was that movie called? What was that movie called? No, but I'm gonna tell you after we hang out. Okay. Great. Okay. Okay. Let me get to the project, man. Harold Mary, project me. Oh, Mary. It's great, huh? It's so good. I want to go see it. Is it in theaters or is on VOD? I would recommend you watch it in theaters, but you're not gonna watch it. Yeah, we'll watch it. We'll Charlie watch it, huh? We'll Charlie watch it if he was alive. No, he that's your part of the same. He liked to be in the shed. He liked to curse a lot. Uh-uh. But here's like the unibomber about that. Oh, okay. But he took care of my mother. He had a small dog. But here's what I want to tell you though. Oh, yeah, finished the argument. Okay. A lot of times in small communities, Bobby, people, if anybody seems semi-Asian, if anybody seems, what's a semi-Asian? A guy who's Asian, but also you don't know if he's Asian, man. If somebody just has dark hair, and it could be a white guy, but he had funny eyes, or even just a trans chick who can't see that good, right? Like people will fucking, it all works. And that sort of place. It doesn't work. It doesn't it's wrong. It doesn't work for us, bro. But in that kind of place, you just, you just take what, like you like, you take what you can get. Right. Right. And so they'll have people. Sometimes you'll get a Mexican guy that's been in a fire, even. And they'll be like, oh, this guy's Ty Onees or something. He's not, right. But people don't know, dude. They just, so I'm just saying, like, sometimes that kind of shit happens and people try to make bridges where they can. Okay. If there was a guy that was slightly blue, would you think that there was from the movie Avatar? I'm sure Charlie would have went up to him. You know, I offered him a fucking dude speaking. Yeah, yeah. But let's do it on it. No, no, no, I don't want to move on. I think I see your point of view, right? I'm not seeing >> Yeah, yeah, what I'm saying, though, is,
is that this is small town, you know, I mean, uh, world view, but also yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not New York's, bring up that Asian fellow we had on here, that young boy, or would I, I remember I saw some clips, um, yeah, Asian Ray, young boy Asian, probably can you speak to your left? Yeah. And he, and he, listen to, listen to what he said one day that brought me into some crazy, okay, racism that was happening. Okay. I don't think we'll find it there. It might stop us, but maybe it won't, maybe it will. I don't think it's on here. The full one might be on YouTube shorts, something, can you just find it? Um, dude, oh, did you see this? Listen, I'll mess up this is dude. Did you see? Okay, there's moving slot machines that are going on. Tell me I would like to see it. They move, watch this. They move now. Oh, yeah, they're going to be coming after y'all. All right. Look at this, Bobby. Whoa. So say you're, I know. Yeah. You're going to shit. No. No, when it comes looking, that's crazy. But say your wife's like, all right, you can't game anymore tonight and you have to go to bed or whatever. Right. And that thing comes knock on your door later with like, oh, yeah, bottle of wine. Oh, that'd be crazy. You know, yeah, yeah, even just for like, you put a hundred bucks in it though. No, yeah, but that thing could pin a fucking dude. That thing could pin of an older Taiwanese man against the one and make him spend every buck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I see what you're saying. I'm just saying that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that this is too far. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Moving anything like, you know, like it, but ATM machine too, then if they do this, they do ATM. Yeah. What else machines that can they do? Um, oh, don't you know the crane game? Oh, yeah. That one. I would like that. Yeah. Yeah. I've never gotten one. Have you? Really? You have it. I could. I can never grab it, dude. Huh? Yeah. Sometimes I'll have it hook onto like, you know, like on a plush toy. There was like that little, um, whoever manual, like made in China. There's like a little bit of a white. I try to get the crane. I go through the part of the ticket that are the late, the label. And I try to pull it up that way, but it somehow slips it. Oh, dang it. That's a good strategy though. Um, yeah. What does it? What kind of age? What kind of what? What kind of age is it? This age? No, age. He's Thai. Oh, I like it. He's Thai. Yeah. Tell me about him. What is this one? He's Mexican or he's Taiwan. Sorry. Yeah. He's Thai one. Are my centers? No, I'm just saying. They kind of shit that these kids are coming over here and saying, okay, I want to hear it. I want to let you call me a Qing Chong. I'll give it a pass. Really? Yeah. Just call you one time. It's okay. I don't want to do it. It's okay. Like, I'm cool. Like, if you want me to give it a pass, you can say Qing Chong. I would not say I would probably I would think it's better. I want to hear it. I don't like Qing Chong that much. Why? I would maybe call you like a slot machine boy or something like that. Something that Asian people like to do. Look at this little kind of slow machine. Look at this little slot machine. Yeah. What do you mean by that? Like, we slow like. Yeah. That's a slot machine. That's not the same. Yes. No, I think that's slot machine. Winner. It's like it'd be like a slot machine. Just add like if when you hit the bonus on a slot machine, it's not money. Let me tell you something. That's unfair. Yeah. You know that guy. We know we all know each other. I can call on right now, dog. Kim Jong-un. That's right, dog. You know he was supposed to play your role in the movie. Who? KJ. You might have been joking. You're going to give him one line in the movie. We offer him. It's four lines. You're going to put him in the sun. It was the only. I was I was second choice, dog. No, I will wait. I was second choice for four lines in your movie. That's crazy, dude. I don't know if it's I don't know if it's true or not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I believe you. Yeah. You were a producer and you wrote the thing. Dude, we barely got through. We made it during the fires. Yeah. I understand that. Listen about this Asian guy. Okay. Number one. I don't want to give him anymore airtime. This guy's kind of fucking. You brought it up. All right. You maybe watch the whole video and then like watch it. I watch it. I can't say anything. All right. Then go on. Right. He's not. He's from Ching Chong. Go on, Bobby. All right. He's from the land of them. He ain't no American. I'm American. Yeah. I know you're. Yeah. Yeah. I mean. So it's like Ching Chong hits different with me than that Ching Chong. Yeah. You know, I mean. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, it's like, you know, add a little little octopus, knuckle. He ain't shit. Shit. There's a little octopus knuckle, dude. And let me say something slots. I know what you said that, man, because the slot is a slit. Nah. Yeah. That's why you said it. A lot is a slit and a slit is a slot. Bro, I'm doing parables, dude. Yeah. Let me say something about. All right. Tell me something. Let me say something. Okay. All right. I give you permission. Maybe not on camera, but off camera to say whatever you want to call me, because I'm not going to take it personally. I don't do that. Yeah, you do. You have. And I've said, I've called you certain things. Oh, really? Yeah. Just to you off camera. To me. Was that there? Yeah. I was there. Yes. Oh, off camera you have. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not behind my back, though. No, not beyond your, you know what? Wow. Well, I don't want to feel stressed. We're going to break for lunch. You know, in the past, I was hesitant to invest my money. And who wouldn't be because, you know, I mean, I used to throw my money in a wish and well when I was a child, and I wish for more money. 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gonna return to just chambers. We'll be back after lunch. Dun dun dun. Dun dun dun. Remember that show. I love that show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I said to myself, be 100 back. Ooh, Bobby get that hitter. Huh? What's up? The flavor is it. That's fucking tobacco, dude. Yours is just tobacco flavoring. Yeah. I quit smoking over a month ago. So sometimes I'll take a hit. It's insane, bro. Yeah. That's how I quit. The same way I'm fucking not quit. What do I mean? That's not quitting. Dude, if you if you're smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, 20 cigarettes, yeah, 20 cigarettes, and I lit me one. Have you heard that song? No. Morgan Wallen. No. Did I want to listen? I don't know the modern shit. I went to his country at the other night. Dude, I saw I saw fucking Karen Carpenter at the Coachella. I didn't know one song. Really? Yeah. Yeah. She came out. She came out and I had not one song. No, Sabrina Carpenter. Oh yeah. Karen Carpenter died. Her and her and Madonna. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. No Morgan Wallen, dude. Bro, you got to go see him. No, I'm not gonna see. Oh, yeah. You got to do his walk out with them. Bro, have you ever seen any other walkouts where people walk out with him? Nick Saban freaking walked out with them, Bobby. Yeah, I don't even know who Nick Saban is. I only know it's not Nick Saban, dude. Like he's a guy who freaking makes coupons. It's Nick Saban. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, listen to me, guy. Oh, he loves you, dude. Yeah. And I love him back, dude. But what I want to say to you is that last night, we left the liquor talk. Bro, last night, we left the liquor talk. That's good stuff. Listen to me, dude. I don't. I hear listening. It's a regional thing, dude. You're out there in Nashville. I mean, all your shit, right? We don't do shit like that, dude. Right, you're right. Smooth. That's your shit, dude. We do different shit out here in LA, dog. What? Yeah. Rap, punk bands. Yard. Yeah. Last night my bus fell down a river. Like music, I don't even relate to last night. My dog came said hello. Those are like, that's your music. You mean my corn's growing like some brown rolls like Nevada. I'm sorry. Yeah. Let's find a country song real quick. What? All right. What? I woke up and I couldn't see this morning. Then I realized it was night. So I had to read down to my iPhone software. I put my white hat through the door. Yeah. I like the ending. It's like CBD. It's a CBD. Cont CBD. Why do you say CBD? Can be decided. It's like it. It could be CBC. You said. Exactly. What? Dude, dude, you said gay volleyball. No, hold on a second. We keep, well, bro, we're not. We don't even know we're saying. I know that's the thing. That's the thing. When you and I are together, right? Just say it, man. There's anxiety and we want to get to the next thing, right? Because we think that silence is bad. That's a good point. I do feel like that. Have you always felt like that? No, but what I realize, it doesn't matter whether you and I. It's going to be good. Well, let's say it's it's going to be good. And there's no need for anxiety. And there's no need to like what's clippable. And you know, because when you and I are together, sometimes it gets clippable and it becomes sometimes viral. And what I think when I was coming here today, there's a reason why I haven't done your shit in a long time is because I don't like the pressure of doing it with you specifically. Because if we don't create magic, right? Then it was just a waste. I brought that up to Nick today, where you came. Yeah, yeah. And I prayed about it before this. Yeah. But what I believe is is that then when I was driving, I was like, I don't care. Whatever it is, it is. Yeah. And I'm okay with that. You know, because we're both doing well in life. And I think I believe that you're a very good person. I'm a good person. And just not rush through it, man. I'm here as long as you need me. You know, I mean, but I think we have something. I mean, where's Bear Dick at? He's a bear dick. Yeah. Do we get stuff already? Yeah, I think you gave the clip or some fuel. Yeah. We got some stuff, right? You got more enough. We got more than enough. So what I'm saying is is that, um, can you slide your right a bit? You're in the chat. I know. Honestly, dude, what you're doing right now is I said to go to the left. Now I gotta go to the right. We haven't had this problem yet. You're, you just, you know, you're full of energy. Does he look on Senator? He's just creeping into your shots and move your mind. I got to get here. Move your mic and you're good. Let me look at this right here. This is you in the movie. This is your anxiety. Oh, there you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the guy you beat out for your. That's the guy you beat. No, no, no, no, no. That's Kim Jong-un as me in the movie, dude. No, it came in for a read. That's the guy you beat out for your role. You. Oh, so he came from North Korea. Okay. And red went on set and read for you. And he didn't get it. Yeah. Yeah. And then you're like, what other, you know what I mean? Chang, Chang, so we know. And then you called me. How many people did you call before you called me? Did you call Ken Jong? Do you call Jimmy O Yang? I did send a text that Kim Jong. He didn't text me back. Ken Jong, Kim Jong. Yeah, yeah. And I did also. We did reach out to Ken Jong or Ken Jong-un. Kim Jong-un, Kim Jong-un. Yeah, yeah. No, that's Ken Jong. That's Ken Jong. So he said no. He said no. Yeah, he did. What he did say though, they wrote a letter back like his like a fairs person, remember? Yeah. And they said that they loved David Spade and Dickey Roberts. I thought that was just so hilarious that they put that in there. That's pretty cool. Who else did you offer before you offered it to me? We offered it. You were, you were, you were a second. Oh, so Kim, it went Kim Jong-un, the dictator from North Korea. Yeah. And then I was second. 100%. 100%. Yeah. Thank you so much. You bet. Yeah, I mean, because I think you got it. If you got dictator, like Victor Orbán. And then we got Dick Taster. I think we did good. It's not fair what you just said. No, you didn't have a lot. Yeah, I just, yeah, I lick the tip. I only had a little little. Yeah. I only had one piece. Yeah, I only have one. I only have one. I only have one. I only have one. I only have one. Okay, dude. That's all I did, right? And you know this about me, dude. I do. I might be 5% by. And that's not a lot. That's not a lot, dude. Oh, these days, these days, dude, they go all the way of 100%. And it's like, I didn't get that. No. I would be okay if I had 100% but I'm only 5%. Dude, if I was gay, I would just, I think so. I think you're 3%, 3%. Yeah, yeah. I think in the right circumstances, you would kiss the tip. I would be, Henry Cabo. Who's Henry Cabo? Superman. The one before. No, I'm not having some guys working all the time out meeting people at night and shit like that. Okay. Here's what I will say this. If I, if I didn't get married to a woman at some point, and there was like a cool dude who was not trying to like do any sex or touch my ass or anything, but wanted to chill separate rooms. Maybe he is a chef or something. Maybe. If I also don't have to talk to him every day. Okay. Since 1%. Yeah. Yeah, okay. 1%. 1% or even dude, I dated a chick with hard tits in that freaking kind of. That was a lot. Dude, I dated a hot chick with Sarah Connor ass. No. You know Sarah Connor from Terminator? No. Yeah, like she was buff, right? So her ass felt sourcing her life. Oh, yeah. I like it when it's like there's like some fat, you know what I mean? Yeah. And she was beautiful, but her ass was Sarah Connor and I couldn't do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like because I'm not determined in her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't have those robotics. Some ass to a woman, they go to the gym so much and the man says a little bit of hair on it. That's the craziest thing. Yeah. - Like how much hair? - Not a lot, but just enough for you feeling it's shaved a couple times. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And that's not crazy. - But it is a surprise. - It's a surprise. Sometimes when you go in the cave and you see some foilage. - Yeah, you know what I mean? - Yeah. - That I don't like. - Oh, really? - I like my cave's clean, okay? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we have now the technology to do it. I don't want foilage, 'cause I'm not like a cave dweller. Dude, when you go back in the 1400s, you think you need a little bit of ass or what? In the 1400s, I would pass on that dog. - All right. - Yeah, man, you get the measles. - Ooh, you will. You get some sort of like, you know, anything that would kill somebody back then. - Yeah, yeah. - I'd have like one of those Asian, you know what I mean? - Yeah. - I get what I mean. - You get the masks. - You get that holiopolio, you know what I'm saying? - Would you eat 1400s? - Poliopolio? - No, dude, I'm not doing that shit. Dude, I will tell you this bro, no. - I don't know. - I wouldn't even answer that question. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You ask me. - I know. - Yeah, I wonder, but here's the thing, let's just, before you move on, 'cause you're being anxiety, I know you're doing it. - You're right, I'm getting anxiety. - Let me chill out. - All right, chill out for a second. Okay, you know what I mean? Because I'm a, I'm a podcaster as well. - I know, dude, you're a professional. You guys want to have one of the top 10 podcasts in the world. - So are you. - So, that's crazy to think that though. I don't think about it. - That's still crazy to think. - I know. - It's crazy to say that it's a thing. - People tell me, I guess, what is your podcast big in other parts of the world? - I don't know. - I don't know the stats.
I don't know stats and it's like, you know, it's like that old term, you know, I mean, I don't live in the results. Coke, uh, cooked pot doesn't boil or whatever. What is that term? What is it? A watch pot doesn't watch pot doesn't boil. A cook pot does boil though. A cook pot doesn't. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? How about this? Why don't you when you use terminology sometimes? Yeah, think about it first. I think that's one of your problems. You mean what when it pops into your head? I don't think there is that thing that goes, let's think about it. Yeah, you just say those that can cook about cook pot, you know, my boils, you know, I mean, and it's like, yeah, it's not the right thing. So it's I think that's a part of your anxiety. Yeah, you're right. Right. It's hard for me to leave that space in a place. I'll just like if something's like somebody if two people are sitting there and we Nobody's talking and gets really uncomfortable. Yeah, you're that way too, Bobby. No, I've changed for me. He's serious. Oh, yeah, I'm dude I'm so silly. What would you really do to change that? Because that's a big thing a lot of people deal with it because I don't really care It really anymore. I Have empathy and I care about the world and that's not what I mean I don't care like whatever direction my life takes. I'm just gonna go with the flow and It's not my responsibility or I'm not a psychic. I don't know what's gonna end up happening to me What question you answer right now what I'm asking you is What do you mean if like say you and I are talking and or say you're talking to anybody, right? And it becomes a moment of silence. It's happens to be a lot of relationships It's a moment of silence. It's hard for me to just sit there and let there be silence Yeah, but you said that you've changed with that. So I'm what I'm asking is how have you changed? What have you done that's changed? Because that's kind of I think therapies helped. I think lexapro has helped I you know sometimes I'll tell Ritalin from my ADHD. I didn't take any today. How much pro you want? Yeah, pro what lexapro lexapro? Yeah, um 10 millimeter grams, I think okay. It's a load. Yeah, it's a little it's a dose Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know it's like when they say when you're performing a lot of comics hate the silence But that's when they're listening Right, and I feel so comfortable with you because we've known each other for so long that We could take a break. We don't always have to like chase a laugh or say something Super interesting. That's the thing. It's like we perform for the algorithm and for what people are gonna want to watch I think with you with you sometimes that it does turn into that or this is the first time I've ever thought that So it's funny that you said that for you came over whenever you got over here because I did think that didn't we talk about it neck? I said What would we say? What are we gonna talk about and it was like let the moments happen. Yeah. Yeah, and and if the moments don't happen I'm okay with that - okay. That's okay. Yeah, because we'll podcast again Yeah, and again, and I don't want to lose out on a chance to have a good time with you We're already I'm already having a blast me - you know, I mean the things that you talked about Charlie was insane It's not it's not that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and yeah, it's fucking insane What and that's already that's already something that people are gonna go what the fuck is he talking about? Because he's a small town like he likes to go out to eat. No, no, no, no, I don't want to regroup Don't do your fucking confuse white face You guys do that a lot your confused white face who know who you know you guys you guys do that a lot You think we didn't start a war what and your eyes cross You know me you started it You started it. Yeah, you started it. Oh, it's been going off for 47 years I mean they're about to have a nuclear weapon to come on man. I don't you confuse white face. I get it I know the tone. Yeah, I've been around a long time. I know confused whites. That's trumping his fucking I know, but that you're sometimes you're a confused white You think so that's trumping his fucking missile monkeys doing that but those missile monkeys are also confused whites That munkin around. I know you know me and what I'm saying is this is that you know me and don't confuse white me dog You right. Yeah, I mean because I'm a confused yellow. No, you're not sometimes. Yeah, I'm really confused Yeah, but the legs are supposed to be confident. Has it really helped you? What is it helped you with? I'll say this You seem a little less shy Because sometimes you get shy you ever try to put your hand in a quarry me try to get up get one of the fish out of there Yeah, like a koi fish or just at a party or whatever and they keep going they will not come in your hand Yeah, it's a defense mechanism, but that's how you are. No, but they're like you mean a crazed white is you know me trying to grab me Oh, no, I'm not confused white. I'll keep my hand open and just wait till something comes in it Will you clutch it? No, it's kind of softly open like this. Do they ever do it? Never never you know why why? They're scared That's how remind me of you. Yeah, you that's a baby. I get out. Yeah, I'm not really that scared anymore good Yeah, yeah, are you scared? Yeah, no, I'm happy to hear that. No, are you scared? Are you scared? I you know, I've gone through a period recently in the past few months where I've definitely dealt with some fear you know Yeah, yeah, I think scared of like Yeah, I don't know dude like things get scary in the world and you think like If you say certain things that people are gonna do something bad to you or something bad could happen to some of you Not do I get death threats and things like that. Yeah, that's scary You get those sometimes I have From who I'm gonna I don't block them immediately. I don't know. Have you ever gotten a stalker before? Oh, yeah No way have you no Never gonna tell you something that's you're confused about again. Yeah, right? And this has happened to me four or five times I'll have a I'll match what somebody with Raya. Mm-hmm. I'll take them on a date and Then go what's the up till and I go because I was hanging out with Vancouver and then like I couldn't get in touch with him And it's like, you know like tell me all you know, right and four matches were listen to hear me out I'm the four of my Raya matches, right? We're because they were trying to get to you and that's when I deleted Raya. You're off. I'm off of it. I've never been on it I know but my point is is that you know, I mean like you know My point. Yeah, that women probably do stalk you. I believe they do because yeah I do have a lot of women, you know, I mean on my Instagram going you know, I mean tell Theo. I think he's hot That's crazy. Yeah, yeah, and it's like, you know, I'm pretty hot. Yeah Dude if I were a gay dude, I would fucking smash you dude Or I would date you or I'd ask you out. Sorry. Don't smash right away. I mean, what are you gonna take me? Huh? Are you gonna take me? You know where? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love LA And we'll apologize for Charlie. Hey free appetizers. Yeah, no dude. No, you would take me somewhere nice I'll take you somewhere like if I said like what town is this L.A. I would take you to homo kase If that dude is just too gay dude just disguise in their winger Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like oh no, I think you would take me somewhere nice Like if I go a la take me to Mastros steakhouse. I would take you somewhere nice. Yeah, I've been mad white. She's taking me there all the time We'd make out like if you were gay and I was at your dad Would you make out with me that night or I don't think so. I don't like to make out on a full stomach So yeah, me neither yet. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, and you know what I'd have been doing lately, dude Inner cleanings. What is it? Are you talking? Ah, I've been doing inner inner inner cleaning dude. Are you and what do you guys? And what do you mean by what do you mean you guys? What do you mean by it when you say inner clean? Inner talk about um when I say inner cleanings. What would that what would that? What did you talk about I just had a colon, colonoscopy? Oh damn that butt fountain or whatever? Yeah, I got a buff butt fountain. They found no pulp. Did they yeah, and they found no cancer? Let's go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and now I do inner cleaning So what I'll do is buy my bathtub. I have one of those Japanese toilets. Yeah, you know, man So that he got on in the me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I sit on it and it warms up right away. I still didn't shoot those if he saw him You Charlie what he's he He wouldn't shoot but he was drawing it. Yeah, you're drawn. Yeah, yeah, yeah, wait. It's a flashback and trauma. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course Yeah, saying dude anyway, um, and what I do is I have fancy body wash next to my toilet, right? So I have a bidet. You have a bidet No, I don't have that You don't know what it is. Yeah, I know it's something that washes in your ass and stuff like that And I respect it. I'm glad we have it as a culture, but I don't want it. Why don't you want it? I'd rather wash my ass like a fucking man I know but the thing is is that when you use dry toilet paper, right? You're not getting the innards But sometimes you'll put some wetter on that toilet paper dude. What's the wetter wetter keep your little stash of water by your toilet? Well, just get a fucking bogey. It just doesn't naturally when you press a button Yeah, you're gonna you're gonna have a fucking wetter. It's the same fucking thing dude I'm not fucking letting some wave of fucking clean ass All right, I'm doing it myself, but you control the angles. I'm old-fashioned. All right, dude So I control the levels. Yeah, so it hits the hall, but that's not a colonoscopy I already had one last week, okay, but I'm now I'm talking about cleaning my innards Do the lichu keep anything that comes out of it like if they have like a they found a fingernail No, yeah, yeah, yeah, they found a fingernail. I knew those are in there. So he said those are in there. Yeah, yeah, those are in there No, but so I so your health is good. No, no, let me finish my innards story. That's what your problem is You're right. All right, and I take some body wash. I let the body hit directly into the you know, I'm in Kalamari Yeah, but I like to call it. Okay. Okay. Okay. That's what it looks like. Okay, right, right? I hit the Kalamari right and then sometimes I'll open up my own cheeks right. Oh damn so that the water sprays right into the hole into the hormones, huh?
- The Hormuz spray the straight Normuz, right? - It does close. - It does close, right? - You know what I mean? But you know what I mean? We're charging. - We're charging two million per vessel. - I charge my poo, dude. (laughing) - Yeah, I charge my poo two million dollars, didn't they pay it? - True, yeah. - That's what you got to tell your buttocks. It's like, hey, blink twice if you're in trouble, you know? - Yeah, yeah. So anyway, I spray it inside and then I'll take a tissue paper, some body wash, right? I'll get it inside of the hole and I'll do a double spray. Ooh, right in the hole, right? Then I do a dry wipe, right? And I leave so that like, you know what I mean? When you're having sexualities with my girlfriend, right? You know what I mean, there's no problem. - Right, I mean, aren't you self-cleaning when you know you're about to hook up? - Yeah, I wash my whole body. I've been taking a little break right now from dating and stuff like that, but I wash my whole body. I do that too. I do that too. - Okay. - You know what I mean, I don't know what you're doing. - No, wait, wait, wait, wait. - Have you ever met yourself? Have you ever met yourself? Have you met yourself? - It's crazy. - You're crazy, dude. - You're fucking crazy. - Whatever, dude. - Whatever, you told me that. - Yeah, you know, what I told you was. - You said you used to work on the Andria Gale, dude. That fishing boat that went down, dude. - And it survived it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I survived it. - And you lied, dude. - Yeah, I lied about it. So my bad. But let me say something right now, okay? Of course I washed my body before I do that process. - Okay, got it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all I'm saying, all right? Yeah, yeah. So that's all you do is wash your body. - I wash my body, I wash my whole body, huh? - I steam your body. - I go to sauna in the morning. - In Nashville? - Yeah, in Nashville we're here. - All you do, I've never been to sauna with you. - You haven't? No, I like to do it one day. - Yeah, I love to go over there, man. If you know that there's supposed to be some good places that people go like as a group and stuff, I haven't been any of those. I'll just do it at home, also I'll go to Equinoctio and then I'll go over there. - You mean as a group? Like, you know, people will get this-- - Like a boy band? - There's like a bath house or something. - Oh yeah. - No, I'm not talking like an O-town region or something. - Okay, like if we gathered a group of comics, me, you, Gillis, Santino. - Not gonna be so fun. - That'd be fun, you know what I mean? And would you be like one of those people? 'Cause a lot of, and I'm bringing white up a lot, right? - I'm sorry. - All right, but what I'm saying. - I knew you were gonna do it before you came here. - Well you bring up Asia a lot, like you're confused about the whole fucking continent. - Well, you guys aren't sharing a ton of information to your anime we are. - To Iran? - Yeah, we have satellites. - Well, we're not getting much. - You guys aren't sending them to America. - Let's move on. - Okay, but what I wanna say is, if you've seen this volleyball player that you, we were trying to find a movie role for you. When I was on Bed Friends, we were trying to find a movie role for you that would be really, really great. And we're like, what would be a great movie role for Robbie? And we found, have you seen this guy? - Yeah, yeah. - Let's see it. - This won't boy Jordan Lucas over at CSUN, dude. - Okay. - Splash, baby, he gets it done, bro. - Oh, he is, oh, I see, I understand. - Welcome to Vibe. - I understand, yeah, I understand. - Valley ball, baby, that dude. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's in the Valley, right? He's at CSUN? - Yeah, I see CSUN. - Northridge, Northridge. - Up in Northridge, bro. - He put that flamenco on the baby. - I understand, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's flashing that flamenco. - Yeah. - So that's, I would play a black gay man in a movie. - No, this guy's not black. - He's not, what is he? - No, Jordan Lucas. - Yeah. - He's a fucking boss, that's what he is. - Oh, he's a boss. - Yeah, dude. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He seems like a black boss. - He's sassy, bro. - He's sassy, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Now, would you be intimidated to play against him? - Bro, game set sassy, bro, that dude is a fucking boss, bro. - Yes, I'd be intimidated to play against anybody that is doing, that plays volleyball well. - Yeah, oh, that's true. - He's a boss. - Yeah. - Shout out CSUN, and what's their team name? - CSUN. - And it says right there, I can't stop watching the vid of this Northridge college volleyball beast, Diva, LOL. That's where we're at, bro. The beast, Diva's have launched, tell me. - They out? - Yeah, bro. That's what we, you need, you need that kind of, like, energy in the world, you need aggressive, capable, gay males, or semi-gay, I don't know what you, I don't know. - This guy, definitely, has he said that he is, - We don't know if he's saying that. - I saw an interview with him, he's gay. - Oh, he could only, but he could be straight and have gay moves. - Now that's, I've done some gay moves. - But I'm, you know, I mean, 95% straight. - We know, dude. - No, no, no, no, like I'll wait and I'll go. - Okay. - Yeah, I mean, but that doesn't necessarily mean, right? - Oh yeah, like, when I kiss the tip, I do it manually. - Okay. - You know what I mean, that's not, like a dad, like kissing his son goodbye. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - The one kissing you. - Going up for war? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, like that, dude. - Yeah, yeah. - Like aggressive, but like, - Heterol. - Yeah, for sure. - Yeah, have you seen the tie draft? So there's a draft in Thailand? - No. - Yeah. - Bro, Spike Lee, that would be your name, dude, if they were your Asian name, bro. (laughing) - If you play volleyball. - Dude, that's so funny, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be so fucking sick, dude. Ladies and gentlemen, Spike Lee, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'd be spiking you. - Yeah. - Dude, you would be. - We should do it. - We should kind of, like, - We should do like, heat it up. - Heat it up. - Heat it rivalry, where I'm Spike Lee, right? And we're not putting you on the poster if we do it. - You're volleyball. But we'll do a movie, you and me are the leads and just, I'm on the poster. - But it's like, heat it rivalry. Where I hand you a, - And just my fingers. - And just my fingers. - Right. - What do you think? So you're saying what we do like it? - It's a movie, so it's not. - It's art. - It's art. - You think I'm broke back? - Yeah. - I know, Jack. - You do? - I love 'em. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, I did it with 'em. He's a great guy. - You did? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh my gosh, you never even said that. - Why would you know? You never asked me. - You think you would tell me? - Yeah, yeah. - Well, I don't tell you everyone I've had dinner with. - I know that. - And she would say, "Hey, Jake John, I had a dinner with you." - Yeah, yeah. - He's a great guy. - She's so funny. - Who's your dream guest to have on your podcast? I'm a bad friend. - Oh, shit, dog. My dream guest? - Or on your own podcast. - Tiger Bell is my own podcast. - Yeah, but I'm saying Tiger Bell or bad friends. - The dream guest would be Brad Pitt. - Wow. - Yeah. - I just wanna see what it's all about. - To see it up close. - And personally, yeah. - Damn. - I wanna see if it's an illusion. - Or it's real. - If it's makeup. - Have you seen him in real life before Brad Pitt? - I saw him one time. - Yeah. - Is it real? - I mean, I was so scared. - I didn't know what to do and I just, yeah. - You tremble, probably. - Oh yeah, I was like opening a door for him and I got all scared and shit. - He went in the building up all of them. - Yeah, I know, but when you look at him, but he moved quick. Yeah, I know. He looks like a very quick guy. - Yeah. - Like one time I was, you know, nothing about soccer. - No, I know the World Cup's come in the USA. - Yeah, yeah, that's good. But anyway, my favorite soccer team is Arsenal FC. - Mm-hmm. - When you do it, I do it. - And so the soccer team has a lot of-- - Like Lee. - War, good God. - What is it good for? - Absolutely nothing. - Say it again. - Okay, so I was, I'm an Arsenal fan. Here's the thing about you. You don't listen. You're already, here's the thing about you. You're already thinking about what you're gonna say next. I get different topic. So when I'm, I know your eyes, right? So when I'm talking, right, you're already thinking about something else. You're not really listening. - Okay, my bad. Let me drop in. - You want this to be over? - No, I don't. Tell me about Arsenal, dude. All right, so their legendary player is a guy named Tyrion Rhee. Tyrion Rhee, T-H-I-E, or R-Y. - Yeah, how'd you know that? - 'Cause I've seen him before. - Yeah, yeah. - He's one of the greats. - People say he looks like Sully McCullough as well, a little bit. - A little bit. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So honorary, I was at a hotel. - And you met him? - No. - So I was in a hotel in New York, right? I was shooting the movie, The Dictator, right? And they put it, I forgot what hotel it was. And I remember being in the elevator and honorary walk. - Did they put you on the poster and on The Dictator? - No. - They didn't care. - And I had more lines than Busquets. - But they didn't care about you. (laughing) - Yeah, they didn't care about me. - You cared about me. - I can't believe it. - I didn't ask you that. - Wait, on rewaxing, right? And obviously, it's like, hey, am I a huge fan or can I get a photo or whatever? - You said that to him? - No, nothing came out of my mouth. I was so in shock that he was the last person that ever thought I would dream meeting or seeing in real life. - Of course. - That when he got off his floor, the words couldn't come out. - No. - Yeah, yeah. - That's how much of a fan I was. And then when I missed my moment, I missed my moment. So the other day I was at Pizzeria Bianco, right? And the dude that created it, I'm a big fan of. He was in the restaurant. - No way. - Yeah. And I walked right up to him. I go, can I get a photo? And he goes, you sure kid? So I do it every time now. Because I'm not fans of like, you know. - Did he was in the restaurant? - No, this guy that created Pizzeria Bianco. - Oh, he was in the restaurant. - It's the one of the best Pizzeria is in the world. - The creator. - Who is it? - Bring it up. - That's him right there. - Chris Bianco. - Yeah, Chris Bianco. - Oh, I've seen him before. - Yeah, yeah. - There's one downtown in LA. Very good pizza. - I don't go down there too much, but I will. - Yeah, yeah. But anyway, so now when I see somebody, can you listen? - Yeah, I'm back. I'm here. - Okay.
Now when I see somebody like I'm not like fans of like oh, there's you know I mean, so between a car burned or David Robinson or so like oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like what Mitch McConnell like Mitch McConnell like eternal eyes. Yeah, I call him You know, I mean like you know some most people are like I gotta get a selfie with Mitch You know when he's in it. He's a zone. Yeah, it's pro zone You know me when he freezes up. That's my favorite part of them. Oh, he's glitching. Yeah, he's glitching Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, but anyway, that's his come face. Yeah You don't know that. Yeah, this is Anyway, like Mitch McConnell. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, yeah, that's his come face to probably gonna go to hell for doing this That's a real face. Yeah, that's a real face. Yeah, see they're using some of these senior citizens. Yeah, they're just they're using them to just Chinese wife underneath them and that's the face he uses. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude. Yeah, I mean you gotta use that Yeah, yeah, you gotta use that anyway, so but are you fans with somebody that's weird that if you ran in them that you'd be Starsrock I think probably Marilyn Manson probably He's dead. Huh someone alive. Oh Go out through history like Genghis Khan. That'd be cool. Yeah, yeah, but you have a Marilyn Manson's dead. Yeah He's just somebody that you would like you're in an elevator. Hi, are you thinking Marilyn Manson still alive Charles Oh, you met Charles Manson. Oh Marilyn Manson. Yeah, Marilyn Manson dude. Oh, so am I think God. Oh, thank God They got he didn't die. Oh, oh, fuck you. Yeah, no. Yeah, I know him. You do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do know Yeah, I met we kind of what I was talking about like somebody other works with them for a little bit and then um But uh, yeah, I think probably him would be somebody that we really need the Pope maybe a Pope Leo or the previous one the new one The one that's beef him with trombone. What about the one that JD Vance killed Remember JD Vance visited him and the next thing he died. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so it's like Yeah, so that's why I mean, I will say look JD has a strong handshake I know, but now this Pope wherever JD's at he's not there. Oh, yeah, like he was in Africa and then JD was like in DC And if JD went to Africa, the Pope would go to Antarctica. Yeah, man that Pope ain't fucking fucking with the Pope on a road Yeah, he's a pope on a rope. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that last one definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so he if you ran into the Pope or What about kind of just name some names? Yeah, I'm trying to think because people I'd be star struck by and that you would like be like Oh, fuck I gotta get a photo. Oh, Julia Roberts. I'll be star. Oh, yeah, you get a photo I don't know if I'd ask for a photo, but I would just be star struck. Yeah, yeah, I don't know if I'd ask for like I think sometimes it's better to say No, I'm okay without a photo. This is what so here's the thing. Okay, well, that's how I feel like Coachella. Yeah, right and I saw the Sabrina Carpender and I saw I went for the strokes Right, mm-hmm, and I got front row so did Mitch McConnell. Yeah Sorry, it's bad joke. All right. Let's go on. Yeah. Oh my god My Pope the face. Yeah. Yeah, he does look like a turtle bit. That's yeah, I don't mean that part I don't even see I just see what you see a senior man that's getting a be like getting used to funnel ideas and Danger through there should be and aid you believe there's a there's got to be a limit. They got to put a cap Yeah, what's the cap 60 65 65 cap. Yeah, after 65 you're out you're out. Yeah, I think so too and it's because I'm 54 I'll do crazy shit. Would you ever run? I'd run fast. We ever run for office. Yeah, would you yeah? A congressperson or something. We need somebody. I think something. Yeah, you know one of the ideas are cray cray I mean, I don't know ask me about something. I'll tell you what I would do But here's the thing we have The first Vietnamese house representatives Person was from Louisiana Really? Yep. Yeah, look him up. Yeah, so you can differentiate between Vietnamese and Chinese and I wouldn't say that But I would say that that's our boy right there Joseph cow and he's from your your your your homeland. Yeah, that's him right there. Yeah. Yeah, he's a boss dude He's a boss dude. Born in Saigon. Yeah, born in Saigon. What's a Baylor? Yeah, yeah, so you need the we need more Asians in Congress Yeah And more Filipinos if it was all Filipinos, I don't think anything bad would ever happen to the world. Do you? No? You're right. I think you're right. That's the truth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but they'll be let uh you could run on the same ticket day with Jake Paul Jake Paul as my yep, but we're different parties. Would you ever do because I this is actually something I did here Jake with somebody said you got offered to do w w a is that true? No, are you serious? Yeah, it's not pointing at me dog. Yeah, I'm saying. I'm fucking serious. All right. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, I heard that yeah, yeah, I would I it's something but here's what happens, right? I don't get 80% of it Yeah, man. It goes through like a funnel to me Because my people know what I will and will not do for sure and wwe is something I wouldn't probably wouldn't want to do really I would lose I would lose what if we did a tag team match against the Logan Paul and his brother I would do that, too Yeah, let's challenge Logan Paul right and his brother Jake yeah tag team us we have to work off some zone and the winner has to pay the others taxes For how many years just one year for one year, but if you would win Fuck you. Yeah, I think they're not all that dude dude. Of course. I would tag you real quick. Yeah. Yeah, you would yeah I'm opening and I would tag you we just keep you yeah, we tag each other dude That's what we would stay in the corner. We keep tagging you till they get dizzy or we become a cyclone I'm tagging right and then they get all confused right and then we both get on to the ropes, right and we do what We jump off. Yeah, we just and and we attack them and we attack them. Yeah, dude. We attack that way. Yeah through the air Yeah, like we did that run or we get a drone to take us up. Oh, right Ukrainian or Iranian. Uh, whatever one still has a little bit of gas money left Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and we take that up Yeah, we'll take that up right and we'll just climb right into them. I think we can do it But would you get them all in personal like it even in in uh in local politics like Spencer Pratt is running for Mayor of LA now You know that no, I don't know that you don't know that no, no, no, no, and you know, and that'd be cool I don't know if I know what I do do do what when I do do do do do I donate to Canada sometimes To help them. Yeah, you ever do that. I love Canada Excuse me. I love Canada. Yeah, oh you you you You give Canadian politicians money. No, but I don't donate to them, but I love Canada. I think it's a great place Yeah, I love Argentina. Yeah, the best posture. You don't know Argentina Yeah, they have the best soccer players. Are you aware of messy? Yeah, I saw messy play one time with Miami Nashville. Oh right, but it was with the Miami team. Yeah, yeah, you played there dude. It was great I like I would like to watch soccer more. I think I'm gonna try to go to a Game when it's here. Yeah, you like those things if I can't tell you something about something that made me real sad Yeah, so when the last UFC fight That when you and I were at yeah, all right. What kind of seats you get We got good seats you did yes. What would you think my seats were like? I saw your seats. They were good Everybody better than you're No, it depends on what you're looking for. I'm looking to get closest to the okay I didn't know yeah, yeah, yeah, you think I want to be out there They put you yeah, there is a like zone where they where there's a lot of like people that um influencers no Okay, what kind of people or people yeah, influencers, but people that are like uh, there's a lot of people that it's like It's like wheelchair access. It's like I saw that people that are impaired like people that are neck races back races People that are on fluids and they yeah, yeah, yeah, you were right there though alone the road people where people come out They have other attachments to them. Yeah, you're like in the neck race section water Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they have a cane. Yeah, I mean The bif they have the bif. Yeah, yeah, yeah Just an aqua fire basically People that were just like yeah, so I mean that's action right and for a split second. I was kind of like why am I here? You know, I mean probably so your first fight really so the next time I go to a fight because I love the sport Can I just go with you? Yeah? Will I still be in the oxygen? I don't know. I can ask uh, Dana if a if you would allow me if he allows me to go no, you're always around that Yeah, I'm a fan of the sport. I you're always around that, but it's still at his grace, you know, it's like his it's like He he picks who can go wait, wait, wait The people that you your friends are bigger than me That you had around you Are they what do you mean like like a popularity-wise? No, Giannis with me all the time. Yeah, is he more Popular than me to the to in the urban circles is that doesn't mean at the oxygen area. You're having a good time. Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, I was having a spasm, dude But look how close I've never gotten to sit where you sat here. That's amazing, bro To cheer people when they come out. Yeah, but then you put your hand out. They don't never slap my hand Bro, yeah, yeah, that guy's a beast dude, and then what's who is that guy Nick a table go T.A. Yeah, yeah, isn't like in a six fight win streak. Yeah, all for sure
I like okay, yeah, and dude you got to see Rose on my junus when she came out. Okay, so you say I'm a unit. I'm a unit. I'm a unit. Yeah, yeah, dude. Rose Rose just to see that. Yeah, you're right I've said in a lot of different places. I haven't always got to sit up close, but it has been fun when I got to yeah Yeah, and next time you sit up close because I've never been there. I'm gonna go with you. Yes, please I'm going in July if I am able to sit up close then I would love you to go and just ask Dana like my friend You know, I mean, I'm messing them up JPEG of you. Straight up. I'll say you used to fight Just say the real thing. You did used to fight. No, no I'll say it's my friend. Yeah, I'm up. He's a you know, you're right. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie to him Yeah, yeah, well then why would you lie just now you're right? No, I'm right. You are I'm not lying dude I was thinking about lying. Okay, anyway, and I said I'm not so would you think of two? Days podcast. I thought it was good. That's let's do a regroup. And you know me. Okay, let's go through some stuff for one. Yeah, I do feel For one, I'm happy to get to see you Oh, I do want to say also Brittany Schmitz dog passed away. So oh, no, I think we can just say so sorry Brittany, we love you and that all of them was biggie. Yeah, yeah, and that He's in a better place. My dog Remy passed away. I'm month and a half ago. Oh Did you have to I did that? That was great. What? Did you have to have someone come over and help put it down my friend just had to have that my friend Tim member bezel You always fight with at the casino. Yeah, yeah, where is he? Huh? He's a one that's trying to shit with me on fucking line, dude He just texted me earlier today. He just texted me today. This is what he said. Can I tell you what you're busy? Is this him? Yeah, hold on This piece of shit Dude, I'm not even joking the text. He said he goes tell that motherfucker to wash his ass This is what he said. What are the odds of that? He goes, bro, you trying to beef with me saying I invite this shit Don't come into the studio today trying to start beef or you're gonna get got Type shit. Where is that guy? Huh? I want to get got I want to see what that means. He's in you know because I'm gonna tell you this right now Dude, he's crucified. Yeah, yeah, I'll destroy him. Yeah Okay, he's strong, right? I have ways. I'll go numb, dude. I think you could I'll build a tunnel and a pathway Oh, so it's okay for you to go numb and just completely. Yeah, we can do it be a culture vault. Yeah, we can be a culture vaulter I'll go numb my stepfather can't walk back in. He's a white. He's a confused white. No There's a difference between being Asian, right and being confused white guy Yeah, you're right. You're right. I'm just trying to know the philosophical guy. I know there is yeah It just breaks my heart. Yeah, what it breaks my heart that we can't like you know get closer and with that divide Dude, I know we're gonna do it better next time. We'll do a better. Yeah, I think this is one of those I'll go ahead. I think this is one of those times where it's like yeah, we kind of hit a spot where it's like Okay, yes, sometimes I do feel pressure like if we're if like yeah, it's like you get you get clips that are viral and like you do see that You can't even not see and it's like and then like people every time you know You'll be somewhere like there's a video somewhere. There's a funeral in the guys yelling booby at it, you know like It's like what can you do but it's like yeah, you do feel some pressure and it's not in that That's why I've been avoiding it but that what I'm saying right, but those moments aren't like it's not fair to all it's not fair For me to bring in it like I I thought about that before you came I thought about yeah great listening I thought about that before you came and I said God like listen Let me just have it. This is so stupid. They're even thinking about this Yeah, let me just have a nice conversation with my friend and like and let me have a new experience Yeah, I felt the same way driving here like I've been avoiding doing it with you Because there's just so much pressure on it. You know, I mean well we had so much fun when I came into bed friends Yeah, how great was that that was great, you know, I mean, but we might not got anything today. Well, it took me 600 episodes even invited over there If you go on I really want to look at the calendar But I need you guys are busy. No, no, no, no, look at me right now, dude. That's tragic I'll tell you this We're not a guest-driven show. We've had maybe 10 guests in our whole whatever the run. Oh, I didn't know that yeah We've had Jack Black shy. Yeah, I mean, yeah, we get the biggest people we can get To do the guests. What's that tall-orange man who plays basketball? Women y'all know what's a tall-orange man play Griffin Blake Griffin. Oh, yeah, the tall orange, you know, I mean Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Vladimir C. They call them. Yeah, the vitamin C. We got when we got vitamins. We got it You know, I mean, and we were lucky to have you But it's like it's not a personal thing. No, I'm feeling it's a scheduling thing. Yeah, yeah, and So let me ask the boys in the in the booth Would you think of today's episode? They're a great moments and I just think you guys talk so naturally funny to each other You don't realize what there's gonna be some viral moment from this that we don't know That that the good point so you know what don't live in the results. We did it You know, I mean, I think there are some things in there, you know, we had a good time. There isn't fuck it I just want to have a good time with my friend. Yeah, I had a good time at times and that is true Yeah, yeah, I think that sometimes you're confused, but what that's what I like about you. Yeah, I mean, you don't know what you're talking about Well, but I'm trying to learn man. It's and you're a learner, dude Sometimes you help me sometimes you don't And I could say that's the same about you and I cannot believe that David's paid put you on that movie poster I think you did that. He said that you did that. No, we did not get it. I would never do that you would I don't even know how to do You know what I excite what I'm a shot. I went out of Photoshop. No, it your people These guys know how and I went to spade no, just listen listen. I went to spade and I go Dude, it's kind of fucking weird. I have like two lines in this movie and you put me in the center of this poster and he goes really fuck the oh Sad That's what he said no, we should call him to calm. Yeah, I don't think it'll answer He's probably busy eating dinner or something because he has so much money. Oh sushi. Probably. It's always sushi with him Have you noticed that? Yeah, yeah, it is with a lot of you guys Let's see what he says. That's a nice picture of us Let me call him. Okay He could be taking a nap. Are you guys calling me together? No, what are you talking about? No? Yeah, but you know what I love you picked up for me and not him. I knew it Yeah, yeah, I love the fact that you picked up for me and you didn't pick up for Theo Yeah, but why would you pick up for me as I knew you weren't good. I go. We got a situation. Yeah Yeah, well just real quick. We don't want to clear something up, right? Yeah, all right So when I said to you, you know me and why am I in the center of this poster? I only had three lines and you said oh fucking Theo So Theo did it. Yeah, Theo did I don't think I don't think you knew about it. I think it was They just somebody made it and they were exploiting you guys. Oh They put me on it too You're the star of the movie Who cares Bobby. Oh, you're right Dave. I'm sorry. Are you eating Asian food? Yeah, I knew it. So I love you dude. I it's no one's to blame. Thank you for putting me in the movie. I love you, okay And tell the waiter we're sorry for everything. Okay, I love Was you it couldn't have been me because I don't even have Photoshop Okay, it was somebody that I guess that he was eating Asian food But no, I do feel bad that I didn't ask I should have asked specifically here dude. Dude. It's well. I should have asked brother brother. I think you would feel like bro bro bro I I'm so grateful That you asked me to do something that you've been working on I mean what a blessing that is, you know, I just didn't I post out of episode of a show of a friend. I can't say it, but um And he asked and I did it, you know what I mean? And you know, I knew it was Peyton Manning okay, and Was it he has a new show you have a new show Yeah, the bad you should and you even tell me about the bad show a game show And then also my who's special comes out in November my first special finally finally yeah And go check that out, but um what took so long to be honest when you really think about it Was there a real reason that it kind of that it did take you a while? Did you like not like doing specials? Did you think it was like not what it's about like really really well? It's so funny ask yourself why I wouldn't do it Why wouldn't you do it because you don't like to try out he done oh no Yeah, because I've been doing the same act, you know, I mean I I slowly add jokes It was just no hurry really, you know me and they got to the point was like I was on stage and I was like I couldn't hear it anymore Like I don't care if it gets a laugh like I just got to evolve And so I pen to deal I go I'm gonna get all this out there and it's gonna force me to write new shit You pen to deal you fucking Thomas Jeffers and yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah, I pinned to deals it like the constitution Thanks my man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I get it and it went pretty good and um I'm gonna when it comes out. I'm already writing away new shit and let's go and I'm gonna um The next hour will be better I think I'm over all of it.
I really do. - I feel you do. - Yeah, and so that's why it took me so long. It was never like, here's a thing about me. I don't know why, but I was a club guy. What I mean by that, I did comedy clubs. And I always sold out, even before podcasts, I would do well. So that was like, no hurry. I never thought about theaters or coliseums or like that. But I made a living, you know, playing, I mean the yuck yucks or whatever, right? - Oh yeah, there's so many great clubs. - Yeah, so whatever. And now it's like, it's getting bigger, the audience. And I want to grow with my brand. And I want to expand. So that's what I'm doing. - Yeah. - That's cool, man. - Hey man. - Yeah, dude, it's kind of crazy. It's like, evolving's kind of scary. It's all kind of spooky sometimes. Like, like growing up, you know? Does it make sense, kind of? - You're gonna live on the edge of your comfort zone. - Fuck yeah. - That's how you grow. That's how great men make it. Take risks and go through the fire. And I've always been afraid of that. And I think, like we talked about earlier silence, you know what I mean? That's all, okay. - That was almost great. - Yeah. - But you know what is great, dude? - Yeah. - It's really good to be here. - And it's time I get to spend time with you. I feel lucky. - Yeah, so. - And your new show starts win. As it starts, so people can watch it. The bad game show will start in probably September, October. - Where's it gonna be? - YouTube. - Let's go. - Yeah, and there's the deadline. - All things comedy on the bad game show. Dude, you guys look great. - Yeah, yeah. - Holy crap. - And we have guests on and they two guests compete against each other in games we developed. - Dude, put me on the poster. You said no to the game show. - Did I really? - Yeah, you did. - But you know what? Put me on the poster anyway. - Yeah, I did. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - All right, dude. - All right, thanks for having me. - Dude, I love you and thank you for being somebody that. - He just texted me again, spade. He facetimed me. - Let's see what he says because he might be on some bullshit. Dude, he was in freaking Dicky Roberts. - I know, dude. - Did you see this laser? Put the little cock on your shirt. - Okay. - Oh, that's the tit. - Greg, I'm just gonna hang up. - No, wait one more time. He's getting older. - Yeah, so you, did you facetime me? - I tried to. - Yeah, here's the. What's up, dude? - I was trying to save Theo and like get him out of that interview. (laughing) - There was no controversy. - He texted me to fucking password and I was like, "Oh, that means save him." - Yeah, dude, I did. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So thank you so much for that information. I'll see you soon. I love you. I'm gonna hang up the phone, okay? All right, I love you, bud. No, no, no, no, I love you, I love you, bud. All right, so you did, did I? To be continued. ♪ Now I'm just floating on the breeze ♪ ♪ And I feel I'm falling like these leaves ♪ ♪ I must be corner stone ♪ ♪ Oh, but when I reach that ground ♪ ♪ I'll share this piece of mine ♪ ♪ I found I can't feed it in my bones ♪ ♪ But it's gonna take ♪
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The conversation features comedic and improvised dialogue between a host and guest, blending personal anecdotes, cultural references, and satirical commentary on race, identity, and small-town dynamics.
A central theme revolves around misunderstandings and stereotypes involving Asian or Asian-adjacent cultures, particularly in small communities, where people may wrongly assume cultural or historical ties due to superficial appearances.
The discussion touches on historical and personal experiences, including a fictionalized narrative of a veteran apologizing to a Chinese restaurant staff for the Vietnam War, highlighting the absurdity and emotional complexity of such misaligned reconciliation efforts.
Summary:
The podcast transcript is a humorous, improvised dialogue between a comedian and guest, centered on personal stories, cultural observations, and satirical commentary. The conversation explores racial identity, small-town dynamics, and historical misunderstandings—such as a fictional scenario where a veteran apologizes to a Chinese restaurant for the Vietnam War, reflecting on how people in isolated communities might misinterpret or project cultural connections. The host uses absurd and exaggerated examples—like a man apologizing to a worker for wartime actions or joking about "Omakase" dining as a "glory hole for food"—to underscore the humor and irony in societal biases.
The discussion also touches on Asian-American identity, naming traditions (like "Nguyen"), and the strange ways communities form connections across ethnic lines. While the tone is playful and often irreverent, it reveals deeper themes of empathy, historical memory, and the difficulty of bridging cultural gaps. The exchange ends with light-hearted references to films, games, and pop culture, reinforcing the segment’s comedic and conversational nature.
The core message, though delivered with satire, emphasizes how stereotypes and misperceptions can shape relationships, especially in communities with limited exposure to diverse cultures.
FAQs
Omakase is a set-menu dining experience where the chef selects and serves dishes in a specific order. Guests eat everything on the menu, often without knowing what they’ll get, emphasizing the experience and flavor over choice.
Yes, the guest mentioned having kissed the tip of a penis at a rave, describing it as a cultural experience and part of a shared ritual among attendees.
The story involves a veteran named Charlie, who, after 40 years without seeing Asian people, apologizes to a worker at a Chinese restaurant for his actions in the Vietnam War, highlighting a moment of reconciliation in a small-town context.
The guest notes that in small towns, people often hire individuals who appear Asian or have Asian features, and communities may make assumptions or form connections based on appearance rather than actual identity.
The guest highly praises 'Bus Boys' as one of the best fantasy sci-fi dramas they’ve seen in years, saying it deeply moved them and that it’s a top-tier cinematic experience.
The phrase 'feel the finger' is a generational saying used by the guest’s grandfather to express subtle, intimate gestures—like a finger touch—indicating affection or connection, often in a gay or romantic context.
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