#655 - Sal Vulcano

I want to let you know that I'll be doing a podcast, taping this podcast before a live audience. See, only time I've ever done that. And maybe the only time I ever do, I don't know. But that will be with the champ, Iron Mike Tyson, on May 5th in Los Angeles at the Wiltern Theater, as part of the Netflix is a joke fest. And after that, it'll be on our channel. So you can see it there. You can get tickets at theovon.com/tour. Today's guest is a stand-up comedian. He's a host. He's a podcaster. He's just a, he's a universal smile maker. You know him from his hit show in practical jokers. And he's on tour doing a stand-up right now. Always have a blast with the one and only, Mr. Sal Volcano. ♪ And now we find a song I was singing on Thursday ♪ - Let me start filming season 13 on Thursday. - Yeah. - Two, it's another thing, yeah. - Wow. - Wow. - It's been on the air for 15 years. - And if you ever met like a child that was conceived during the show, like has that ever been a thing? - People, I know people met and got married. And I know people tell me they fuck to it all the time. - Oh my God, really? - I didn't think of that until one day I was on the, I was standing outside, am I getting a flat tire fix? I was standing on a sidewalk and a guy pulled up at a light and he rolled down the window. He's like, "Sah, I love you, man." I was like, "Thanks, man." He goes, "I was having sex with my girlfriend last night while the show was on." And I was like, "Oh shit, I never really thought about that." So I went on to Instagram and I posted like, "Has anyone ever had sex while my show was on?" And it was like hundreds of thousands of people. You don't, I don't even think of it, you know? One time somebody sent me a porn of people, a fucking, and our show was on TV in the background. - What? - Not like a professional one. - Oh, just amateur? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh shit, maybe one day you'll make the big lose. (laughing) - Yeah, man, hopefully we get show up on the brasses, you know, one day you'll want it, bro. (laughing) - Oh my God, dude, and why do you think it is that y'all show is one of those shows that's like, all right, you know, let's make a child of this or let's get a little, you know, let's do the hump. - It's like background, you know? Like you put it on anytime, you don't have to like follow anything, just turn it on, and it's good like playing in the background. It played all day long, so it's like one of those things like when I get to it, I'll tell her when I turn something on and just like plays in the background. So I think people are just, people are gonna go about their business while it's on. - Do you think, do you think that's it? - I feel like, I mean, I don't think it's intoxicating or anything, I don't think it's like oysters. - Yeah. (laughing) - Visual oysters. (laughing) - No, I do think there's something about y'all show that it's like, it's the one thing, like spouses could probably kind of agree on it, you know? - Yeah, we got that, yeah. - There's not a lot, you know? And you could have your kids are in there, you know, everybody could kind of agree on like, all right, we'll all kind of watch this. There's few shows like that now. - Yeah, yeah, there's like a Venn diagram where the kids and the parents both like it. And that's what we hear a lot too, which is like, it's a show that everybody could be like, oh, I'll watch that, you know what I mean? Like awesome. - There's a new little house on the prairie coming out. - I think you and I have spoken about little house on the prairie before. - Did we? - Yeah, I think we did, what Michael Landon, 'cause you were a big fan, right? - Oh, yeah. - Highway to heaven. - Oh. - You're a Michael Landon fan or a prairie fan? - The highway to heaven and it needs to be repaved brother. I'll say that. (laughing) - I mean, they got, you know what I'm saying. - What was it? Was he, he was an angel that was like in purgatory and his guy's friend with the beard was another angel? Or that was a, - He was from like an Oakland A's fan. - Yeah, but was he an angel to the friend or was he a civilian? - No, his friend was a civilian. - And he could see Michael Landon. - Yeah. And everybody could see him, but he came back and then he realized that Michael Landon is an angel. Bring, bring, bring, bring it up highway to heaven. What was the storyline on that? I haven't thought of that since the last time you and I spoke about it and the time before that was when I watched it. - It's, (laughing) - Yes, I was like, what did we do? - Yeah, I did, well I thought about it, but I can't believe that you remember that we had talked about it because I haven't talked about it with someone since then. - Yeah, but that's why I remember it. I'm like, I just remember that you will make me laugh about now. - I would have in, follows Jonathan Smith, Michael Landon, a probationary angel, you're right. And Mark Gordon, a next cop, as a travel America, helping people in need on behalf of the boss, God. The series focuses on providing divine intervention, love, and emotional support, 10 individuals, individuals facing hardship. - That's a pitch, that's a funny pitch. It's like, okay, hear me out. An angel and an ex-cop, that's really good. I'm like, I'm sold. - Oh yeah, Michael Landon was one of economy, and that show was great. But yeah, we had the highway to heaven. I think they put a dang toll, they put a toll booth on it now, it's like. - Yeah, you can't even, they couldn't remake something like this today. You don't think? - No, maybe. I think now actually is when they probably can remake. Now I'm thinking about it. I mean, I think you need a good Christian drama. - I think you need something that's leading. I mean, it'd be nice, I think, if there were more influences towards faith, probably. But even having a little house on the prairie back, it's gonna be a vibe, dude. - Oh wait, so they bring it back, how are you having a little house on the prairie? - Little house on the prairie. - 'Cause what was that highway to heaven right there? Just now, on the right, what was that? - Oh, oh, they tried to bring a bag, bro. I didn't even know. - No one knew. Nobody knew. - And they brought it back. It looks like with an African-American actress, who was her Barry Watson? - Oh, Jill Scott. - Jill Scott. Grammy Award winner Jill Scott and Barry Watson. - Wow, that came and went. - Oh. - Or was that coming out now? I'll give it a whirl. - It's 2021. - Oh. - All right. Well, you can't, I mean, there's COVID times. - Yeah, people, and they were probably shipping people to heaven during COVID. (laughing) - I know, we would have heaven, bro. - There's a COVID. - It was a Pfizer-4 lane going on, bro. Fouchy working the toll booth. (laughing) - She's getting the last dime out of you just to hit the turn bike. - Down and he got, was he working towards salvation? Michael Landon and I would have him, was he saving people to get in God's good graces? Like, why was he, he's probationary? - Yeah. - I would like to know how that series ended. - Yeah, what was the last? - I'd have gone to heaven. If he didn't, I mean, it would have been a huge letdown, though. - No, I mean, imagine, he just, imagine they just left it open. Like, they didn't even tell us. - Yeah, let's go to the ending of it. The series, how would heaven did not have a planned definitive series finale as it was canceled due to low rating? - Oh, shit. - Wow, so they didn't. That's always a bummer when you invest in a show. - And yeah. - And it just stops and you're like, that's, that's, that's, that's hard. - Open the whole nation invest in a show too and it ends like a lost, lost, killed, lost, probably, I think there's people that died because lost wasn't, it didn't do anything. - Yeah, there had to be some type of out of dry effects. - Was that? - It was like, it was their hope. I'm gonna keep watching this and it's gonna get somewhere. - That was me, that was me. - I watched the loss. - And at one point, I thought lost with the greatest show I had ever seen in my life. And then the last two or three seasons, it was like, maddening. - Yeah, that broke a lot of people. - It's too convoluted. - Oh, people with divorces, that broke, people don't realize it. You don't realize it. If you invest that much with somebody and it's something and if that thing falls apart, you might, you can fall apart. - You can fall, you can unravel. Your whole life can unravel. - Yeah. - It doesn't take much these days. - Yeah, it doesn't. - Everyone's right there. All it takes is just the creators of laws is stringing us along, telling us the whole time. They have exact intentions when they fucking don't. And it comes out later. I don't know if anyone's ever taken them to task for that. I'll tell you nothing. I saw the finale. I couldn't tell you what, I can't explain it to you right now. - Yeah. Yeah, you can't even explain the ending. You did all that and you can explain the ending to us. - Eventually and Lilly. God bless her really. She's doing fine, I'm sure. - Yeah, she's like an ant man, right? She's like an ant woman. - Oh, she is? - I think so. - I didn't know. - Yeah. - That show was so good, dude. - The flashbacks, the flash sideways. - Oh, flash forwards, flash sideways. You started flashing sideways. I'm like, what is that? - I've never seen a flash sideways before lost. - Yeah. - Yeah. - How do you flash sideways? They did it. - Yeah, they did it. - They did it. - I like the flash sideways. - Oh. - Today. - I like the flash I was today. - Yeah, you're doing, you said you're in town. You hit in the doctor, you hit in the medical circuit, right? - Yeah, I hit in the medical circuit. My doctor lives at him, I'm a boy from high school. - Really? - He's my primary. - And he's your friend from high school? - Yeah, it's my boy from, I've known him since he was 13. - Wow. - Yeah, so shout out James Losh. - James Losh? - James Losh? - I don't know if I want to go to my friend and let him, but I guess it's your boy you can trust him with anything. - Yeah, that's where it started out of. Like I can show him your body and whatever. - No, I haven't shown him my body and that would be where I probably, I understand what you're saying there, right there is where, I thought I would have to do it this week showing my body because we had a list of things to do. I got what's called a Dexascan CT angiogram. I got a blood draw for a full panel plus a cancer screening. I got an MRI today, I'm doing everything. And then he said in there, what is that? It's said in there. - That's him, huh? - That's me. (laughing) - Oh yes, that's him. - That's you again? He pulled him up in a tux at 18 years old. - Every time you hear we bring up pictures of guys that I cannot even believe it's you and it's you at the time. - No, it's said physical. So I was gonna, at one point I was like, you don't have to like, you don't have to hold my sack or anything, do you? - Yeah. - But then I just let it go. And then he didn't say anything and then it was fine. - But do you think you're missing out on something that's important information or something? - Just because you guys are like, - Kind of shy or whatever. - I was wondering if in general, like when was the last time you got a physical? A physical, you had to do it for the movie or something like that. - Probably, I mean, I wouldn't bet it. Probably wasn't too long ago, but I've gotten all the blood panels. I get them done all the time. - Yeah, yeah. So I just don't know if that's antiquated, like they're like holding you and saying cough or drop a pair. I don't really hear people talk about that anymore. - Yeah, hold 'em and yeah, call your stepfather a queer or whatever. - Yeah, exactly, yeah, that's not, yeah. - It's not, I mean, it's not a medical turn. They're taking liberties. - Yeah, yeah, they're taking liberties. - You're like, I don't know, cough, but call my dad a queer. Trust me, just do it. It's like, yeah, it'll release some stress. - Okay. - I don't know what they're looking for, but if he didn't touch my balls, then I guess like he's not gonna find anything there. - Yeah. - So like, I guess that was an oversight. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well, I guess what are they checking for when they hold your balls like a hernia? - Well, I mean, look, I think it, - I don't lift anything on, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I got a bad back. Doctor says I can't even lift my balls. (laughing) - Bro, let's check it right now. Yes, it is standard medical procedure for a doctor to hold the scrolled and whilst asking you to call if I'm checked for it, and I get that, but that shit seems hella, it seemed like the Catholic church has involved in it a little bit. (laughing) - It has a little back splash of uncertainty. - But what, how do we self-check our own balls? - That's what I would look up. - Yeah, maybe a self-exam, I could do. - 'Cause it's probably time, man, that we know how to do this just because, there's a lot of times I'm sitting in a lobby, I'm chilling, you know? - Yeah. - And then you don't know what's going on down there. - Well, it's like, I might as well check it out. - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, yeah, we could check all the time. - Yeah. - If we know what we're doing, we're checking, we're checking without knowing usually. - Yeah, usually I'm feeling around my balls. - Yeah. - I was like, oh, what is that? Don't touch that. It's like that part of it's like out. - Touch to the ball, it's like weird. - Yeah, yeah, like, oh, that's the HVAC area. - It's all wide, yeah. - Yeah, I'm not certified, like, you know, in a bag, I don't really know anything in a bag. - Well, there's definitely, dude. Yeah, there's moments where you're like, oh, what is that? (laughing) - That's where it gets scary, bro. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And like, oh, that just feels like, it's like, it feels like a, oh, that's just a skittle or something. - I still don't go, I still don't go. I feel like I have a rainbow and like, I might have a skittle in there or something. I would just be like, I would sooner Google it. This is something I just, I'm not really, he would have had to probably take his balls out for me to feel comfortable. - Oh, that's fair. - Yeah. - Dude, that should be something you guys do for the show for, like, one of the things. - Yeah, we'll do that. - Get 'em into that center, you know? - Yeah. - I got my doctor in there and show his balls. I'll not show it, make sense. - We're just, you know, now with the doctor's guy, you know, get 'em to, you know, I need you to hold your, while you hold my balls. - Yeah. - You know what I'm saying? And we sing a little bit of Bruno Mars, you know? - Yeah, Bruno's good, man. - I did it when we had a story about Bruno. Remember, he went to his show, you know? - Yeah, yeah, he was dope. He was like, it was a bit back, but he was like bartender for us backstage and then during his finale, he was like yelling out quotes from my show, like in the middle of like, ♪ You make me feel like I'm like that of heaven ♪ And he just starts, and then there's pyrotechnics and then he just started screaming out lines from the show and I was like, I can't believe this. I actually missed it. I was like, with people and like, I didn't hear him say it and they were freaking out. I think if I told this last time, but I was like, I remember like, I was like four or five people, I was with my girl and the guys and they went nuts and I thought they were just going nuts for the song lock and I was like, well, they're really big fans. Like they were like, overhyped, you know? And obviously they just heard him quoting us. So they were reacting like that and I was like, this song is good, but I like, they're really into it. And they're like a few minutes later, they're like, I can't believe he, he's, he's, and without you, he was getting something. No, I was right there with him, but I didn't hear, like there was fireworks going off and I didn't hear it. And then I was like, and then they were like, I can't believe he was quoted you. I'm like, he quoted me. And you didn't even know what you were like there. Is this real? That's real. It looks like AI, right? That's real. You could pull off a hat like that. There's Bruno Mars, I could never pull off a hat like that. Never, Joe and Sal came down to the show in Albany tonight. Albany. Oh, it's Albany. Albany, Albany, sorry. And if you ain't seen the show in practical jokes, you're missing out a parent, a parent late. Yeah, apparently. Apparently Merr was there. Yeah, Merr got there late and, and after it was over, he got stuck in traffic and he like drove eight hours and missed it. I swear to God, he drove, I'm not, I'm not, I know he might, honestly, honestly, I think he drove like 13 hours. I don't know why. I forgot the circumstances surrounding it, but he got there late and just missed the whole thing. Damn, yeah. God. Yeah, I couldn't wear a hat like that. I wouldn't be able to do it good. So we don't forget this 'cause I do think it's important. What can we do to check out our nuts to make sure that we're okay? What do we do, actually? Got this first. Using both hands, and I'll just, you just cut my waist off. Don't do me lower than the waist. I'm gonna check while we're here. I can't see it, but I'll tell me, maybe you give me a play by play. All right. Like, what do you feel, what are you feeling for right now? What do you, what is it? I don't know. I think I feel like I'm in like the cottage cheese section. (laughing) Well, ultimately, though, what are you, what are you looking for? Are you looking for a hernia? Are you looking for a skin, like what do you, what are you looking for? I'm looking for cancer, right? Oh, that's what we're doing. That's a cancer, what are you doing? We're doing cancer screening. Yeah, I'm not gonna waste my time. It's feeling nuts. I'm gonna screen for everything if you're feeling around. Just do a full thing. Screen for everything. Did I can't do a full panel or whatever? I don't know. You can do it. Can you tell the difference between a hernia and cancer? (laughing) I know. I will say, like, it is weird with both hands on your balls while I'm talking to you. (laughing) I am really, yeah. Normally, it would be. That's when we first met. Well, if you would give me a second, I'm trying to see if I have cancer, okay. What is this, what is this animation, though? What is, why is it no sec? I don't know. That's Dixar, I think. (laughing) (laughing) Oh, that cheek joke, but thank you for supporting me. That was good, man. Take me, just get it on the wording again. One more time. Go back. Perform a testicular, self-examuntly. Oh, God, I am 400 months behind schedule. Ideally, during or after a warm shower, when a scrotum's relaxed. Yeah, you, oh, if you got that hard bag, bro. Yeah, you can't do it in like the winter. Yeah, if you feel like it's like kind of like, it feels like a bit of like a really ripe avocado, you got to back off the sack. Yeah, that's right. Using both hands gently roll each testicle between your thumb and finger to check for hard lumps. Smooth bumps, that's a unique term. That's gotta be an oxymoron smooth bumps. How can you find that? That's crazy. Yeah, what's a smooth bump? Is it by definition a bump not smooth? Hard lumps, smooth bumps, theo-von story. (laughing) Am I journey through chemotherapy or changes in size, shape, or consistency? What do they mean, changes in size? Like it's like a, I guess if one's gotten really, like one sounds like it, like it's throats clogged or whatever. Oh, there's always one bigger than the other. Isn't there, is that breasts? Isn't that true? For balls and breasts, there's always one that's bigger? Yeah, I think that's true. I'm gonna read this one part off and then we'll get to that. Hard pea-sized lumps or nodules? A new dull ache or feeling of heaviness in the lower abdomen or groin. So that, I think, is more for hernia and then significant swelling or sudden change in size. So I guess the good thing is if you do it repeatedly, you'll start to, that's the thing. You probably have to do it repeatedly so you get an idea. You got you. Yes, you have a baseline. You have a baseline. Because otherwise, if you just wander in any nuts with your hands or whatever, everything in there. Yeah, you don't know what's in there at all, yeah. No, neither testicle nor breasts are always perfectly symmetrical. One side is typically slightly larger position differently in most people. And the testicles usually hang at different levels that gives them also the illusion of seeming like they're a different size. It'd be funny if we didn't have a sack and they just hung the butt like in that, like how that hand was holding the two individual testicles. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that would be weird. That'd be very weird. Very weird. Just hung like on a string, like on strings. Like just like the bangers. Like, yeah, yeah. Remember those kind of bangers? Yeah, when we were little, like, it was like two balls on the strings and you were like, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. And they were like, they were called cabangers. Bring 'em up to them cabangers, bro. Yeah, get those cabangers up there. You don't remember those? I'd never seen those in my life. What, bro? They still sell them now. Buddy, I promise you. We're, wow, man, dude, I'm sorry. 'Cause I had some really nice times with those. With them cabang. Yeah, like when you get, when you know what you're doing, you can see a video of somebody doing it. When you know what you're doing, it's a real treat. Oh, here's a video of commercial form. Smitties. Oh, you're not get frickin' toot that. You're not getin' neighbors nuts off with that. Yeah, they were like little like, uh, nunchucks. Oh, I did used to wish that like, you're nuts had like a, they were like secret hearing device or whatever, like you could throw roll one somewhere into a room and it would be able to hear. So what was going on? That's really good. Like a recon nut or whatever. Like a James Bond nut. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. Yeah, the sack is a good place to hide something. Oh, yeah. You know, if you can get like some type of surgery where you get like a, it's almost like a, you remember what they call ruse, kangaroos, the sneaker? Ruse, yeah. Remember? Yeah. And so the thing about kangaroos or ruse, I think they're like, is every single sneaker had a, like a hidden pocket on it. [BLANK_AUDIO] - That's right. - Like in the tongue or on the side. And they should bring those back, you know. But that'd be like, you can do that with your pouch, like with the sack, and then you could hide stuff in there. - Yeah, I bet you could get that modulated, bro. If you got your nuts modulated, bro. You could do that in a fucking heartbeat. Or yeah, get you a little side, get you a little pouch almost, or get like almost like a little fanny pack put on it. - Yeah. - They should make a little fanny pack that goes around you. - That's yeah, this is not a bad idea if we could find a safe medical way to do it, because you ever throw on like a pair of sweats, and there's no pockets, and you leave the house, and you've got no pockets. When you have no pockets, I feel like I might have to go back. Like I will not buy pants without a proper pocket. Or like, you know what I mean? - Yeah, well, of course I know what you mean. - Yeah, yeah. And then, and then, and then, but if you had a sack that helps stuff like a pouch, you feel like awesome. - You would have to think about it in there. You could throw on any pants you want. You could flippantly throw on pants before you leave the house, not even think twice about it. - Yeah, that's true. If you were like, oh, I just, yeah, I got enough room for just a couple of zins. - Well, you could put like your license in there. A key, a key fob. - I think putting your license in your nuts is crazy work, bro. - Yeah, you're right. But the whole concept is so, you could have gave me, it's just, you know, we're just trying, I mean, I don't think we'll put anything in there, really. But here's the thing, if I don't have, - If you're gonna put a zin in there, two zins, I think you could put, I would, I would be careful putting two zins in there. That's the tobacco. - Yeah, but you are took it to another level. Now you're gonna get bowl cancer. - Yeah, that's true. - All I'm doing is trying to have identification on me. - Yeah, you're right, bro. - You're right, man. I'm really going to kind of like my separate way, but also I didn't ever got that enhanced license for travel. So now, just in case I always got to bring my passport with me to the airport. And I'm always afraid I'm gonna forget it at home and then it's gonna be lights out 'cause I can't get on a thing. So I would put my maybe in my pad, I would, you have to fold it up, it might be on console, but I would maybe permanently carry my passport in my sack. - Well, you can't fold, dude, think about this though, Sal. - I'm hearing, I love what you're saying, but to fold your fucking passport up. - It was stupid, yeah, I know, it's too much. I couldn't do it. - It's not built to be folded, but here's what I do think is, yeah, if you had your nuts or whatever, yeah, if you could put two, I'm trying to give you a couple of Zins and your nuts or whatever, a couple of Alps in there. - You do Zining, I don't do it. - I don't do it. - But I think it would be crazy if they're like, yeah, we think you have like gum cancer and your nut, like you'll get like two-thin gum cancer. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, somehow you got mouth, you got ginger virus on the balls. Somehow, you got mouth cancer in the nuts, yeah. 'Cause I've been fucking Zining through my magical nut pouch, but dude, the no two nuts are the same, you know that no two nuts actually the same. - They're like snowflakes. - Yeah, pretty cool. You know what time it is, you know what time it is, prize picks. America's number one sports picks app. The app is really easy to use. That's why I like it. 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No more nicotine, no more caffeine, ultra. You dance? No dude, but I will tell you this. My friend and I made me almost, probably like maybe 30 months ago or whatever. We went to the park and we saw. And we watched the people do the Zolza dancing. The Zolza? Did you? That's right, 30 months ago, you went to the park? Yeah. And watched people salsa, didn't you? And bro, we watched it. First, we were like, whatever bro. Let's don't look too long because it's just me and him and we're not with anybody or whatever. But it was just, you mean like there was like a competition or like a dance party or something? Yeah, there's a dance party they had over there by the lake. It's over there by Centennial Park and Nashville. You can probably even look it up. And so they, yeah, it was just like a lot of Latinos and a couple of like Indian guys trying to pretend they were Mexican or whatever, like putting on like. Yeah, but they have their own really good dance routines too. You ever see them, they go, they go hard. Yeah. Like those like, like those routines where everyone's doing the same thing. There's a choreograph because like she's all that. It's like, she's all that. Like I feel like the Indian weddings I've seen in passing on like YouTube or like in Instagram was like. And you see them, and like they all know the exact, that's so cool. That is cool, huh? So like a dance to bust out and everyone does it together. Yeah, you know? Dude, that's a good, yeah, man. Yeah, I went out dancing last night. You went out dancing last night. I felt like my mom in the 80s. You're lying. I swear to you, I went out dancing. Do you feel like your mom was broke? I love to dance. You were broke. No, but I do love a brooch. Me too. I got my wife a brooch recently. You did? I swear to God, yeah. That's awesome. I love it. So brooch is just wonderful. I think they're like, they're not, I don't know if they're really in style anymore, but they're timeless broochers. Yeah. Yeah. I think when you see someone that broach, you think, well sometimes you think like there's somebody passed away and there's like a little image of a minute, right? Sometimes like a loss. Something like that, yeah. Yeah. But sometimes it's just decorative. Yes. Yeah. Maybe a little bit of royalty like neighborhood royalty. I like it. Yeah. It does feel like something like a little bit of like a like a badge. Yes. Yeah, right. That's what it is. Oh yeah. They got some great broaches. There's a place here called the Five Spot. There's a bar. And on Mondays they have Motown Mondays. That's all I need to hear. Yeah. I love it. It was like a soul music, Motown music. And we went last night. It was one of my friends birthday. So we went and I was like, I don't go out because they're at home. I'm just working in the kid's house. So I was like, let's go. Let's go. Dude, I danced for like a good couple hours last night. No. I don't remember the last time I did that. Probably I got a wedding or something. But I was like in the wild dancing. No way. Yeah. Dude, that's so fun. And everybody was just dancing and having fun. Everybody. Yeah, the place wasn't that crowded. And every last person there was dancing. Get down on it. They placed up like that. You talking about cool in the gang? Yeah. Come on, babe. I love it. Yeah, it's hard. You get down. That song comes on by cool in the gang. I have to dance. Yeah. I don't know about you. So you don't dance. You know what? Here's the thing. I just forget about it. You know, I think if I had to dance like someone like, I wouldn't mind having a date and we go to the square dancing, there is a Tuesday night place here that does square dancing. I don't think it's the American Legion or something where they teach out of square dancing. My friend, Chris just went last week. And I'm. Align dancing like that. Yes. So I would like to learn that. Yeah. And then. That's a nice entry point. Yeah. Yeah. There are three steps. Get you feeling like you, you're part of the group. Yes. To get me out on the dance floor. I used to love to dance. Now, sometimes I think I feel a little bit like sometimes I have some social anxiety about that shit. Sure. It's hard to dance now. What if people are like, yeah, you can't just let loose. Yeah, I'm honest. I'm afraid, yeah, somebody will video me and probably make fun of me, which is fair. I'm okay. I have to make fun of me. Yeah. Okay. But just doing it like, like, there's some part of it I don't like. And I think it's just that, uh, I don't know. I hear the thing. I don't want to see a video. Of how bad I'm dancing because I want to still believe in my head that I'm a good dancer. That's what it is Yeah, but so don't take that ability away from me. Yeah, by like using me to fucking just to burn me I would love to watch you sincerely dance. Okay, you know, okay, you know, I would just love to see you like Genuinely dancing. Okay. See what that looks like. Okay, you know what your rhythm is what your moves are like how you get down I think a lot of like that. Oh, when the blues are come on bro. I get out there and dance to the blues Yeah, they should have a place called tabbies blues box over there in downtown Baton Rouge, bro And I get out there, bro, and they had a little bit of sliced ham or something over there on the side, you know They look like they put out a little like a little like oh, you can eat like type of thing or something It was like it wasn't all you could eat, but it was like you can eat a little You know, I'm saying like they had like that food people are dancing the blues and they'd have yeah They had a dude sitting by it. So you know, you couldn't have that much. Oh, so it's like so he served it He like you like like when you get up at a wedding at a buffet like an a slice of you like that. Oh, yeah No, no, the ham steak. No, this one just kind of regular ham like night like deli ham No, I was like a stay was like a few stairs up from deli ham So somewhere between deli ham and the ham steak. Yeah, like neighborhood ham or whatever. Like ham that had been kind of trucked in it Been flown in okay, but it didn't come on a truck, but how do they prepare it? Like what's on like a glaze not it You just cook I think they cooked it just cooked ham. Yeah, and then and then the one of the blues Yeah, well the blues and they had some crackers out there They just had a little setup, but they had a dude you could tell you couldn't have a lot because that a dude's sitting by it Like they had like we're gonna pay this dude to sit by it. Yeah, because that's unfortunate what happened to society You just have unchecked ham. Oh, it's gonna be like a black Friday situation And now you ever see when they give the tote bags a trade of Joe's people just become animals You can't ham people already sad listening to the blues. You can't just put out hand They're gonna run for that to comfort food. Oh, bro. Yeah, it was one one song was so sad. I didn't have a mouthful of fucking ham It's hard to cry when you mouthful You know talking about yeah, I remember being a kid. I can't cry and chew Couldn't yeah, you can't cry and chew can't you can't cry and eat it It was a fat boy's dilemma You really can't though. That's why you can't be sad and chubby dude because that's the dilemma that God sets you in like You're gonna be able to have as much little ham as you want, but you ain't gonna be able to be sad about it Yeah, that's I they saw people eat to stop crying Yeah, that's why is it that should be written on our American flag I think about someone like I would a huge hoagie hysterically crying and eating it. I've never seen it It's a it's a it's a visual. I've never seen People can't cry and eat at the same time. Yeah All right, it's like sneezing and Or it's like yeah, right whatever it's called sneezing and like wishing for Something yes, and I thought it was something with sneezing. It's like rubbing your belly in my chewing gum No, and a pan you had flirting with your neighbor's wife or something. Yeah, you can't do it all. Yeah, it's like Yeah, pan your head rubbing your belly and checking your balls for cancer Do thank you, bro. Oh, thank you for making me laugh today. I appreciate it. Of course, and I appreciate me Um, I want to ask you so you because your podcasting has changed recently and I wanted to talk about this I wanted to know why because you had two podcasts. You had one that you got you were doing with Chris to Stefano Yes, hey babe. Hey babe, and then you had your own I had one with Joe De Rosa called taste buds and yeah I want Joe De Rosa called taste buds and Joe moved to Austin. Yes, he did so that kind of brought that one to an end Yeah, Chris moved up like state or whatever, but oh, he's living up state Yeah, but I've I'm telling you because when we put these on hiatus We said to the fans like they're just going on hiatus. It's been a couple of years now But people had think we like we lied. We had no intentions around we have full intentions of bringing both back No joke like I talked to both of them both of them recently Chris texted me two days ago and said you want to do like a short one of them just to put it back out there And I'm like, yeah, and I talked to Joe. He said the same. So we really are going to bring it back But I got a new talk show like pod coming out called minuti, which is like sure for minutia and it's like big guest small talk But it's like it's like Observed it's like it goes in and out of conversation and sketch comedy. It's like something just completely different huh? Yeah, like it's it's it's off the wall It's really fun. I shot like 10 episodes so far already did. Yeah, I shot tat I'm gonna do them by seasons like 10 episode seasons So I'm gonna release it like probably some time in May and then kick it off It's it's been so much fun. You got to I talked to you about you got to come on. Yeah, I'm gonna come in I'm gonna come through You know, I'm gonna come and do one please. I love to have it. We'll have a lot of love to be on here It's really different like it's not this you know, we had that's what I'm curious about so like yeah Because you sound like it also involves improv so what like how does that kind of look or a little bit of like we're like It's like nothing to is that we do and say is to be taken seriously It's all just we're doing stick the whole time and we're like we're in on the joke and it's like but it's edited really fun It's like edited like little chunks and it's like to look like it's on an old VHS tape It's like it's really I don't know. It's just something I just Made up like a couple of years ago when we went on hiatus I'm like I want to do something completely like solo that has like a really specific sensibility to it Hmm, so it doesn't I mean this isn't a great pitch. It doesn't sound funny But you know, it's really it actually really unique. I'm super excited. What do you do a lot? I mean those are your real houses, you know comedy and improv and so to have some of that together I think it definitely makes sense. How was I mean it sounds cool if you if you've talked about this enough No problem, but like how was your experience film in the movie and stuff that you guys improvise a lot on that? Um, I think I didn't know exactly what was going on Yeah, you're honest with you like bro until the day we showed up there on sat be nerve-wracking right? I thought it was all emails so the day we showed up on set I was like no way everybody was being real serious about this You know and it was a real move. There's like people walking around. There's like one guy just looking for something Yeah, you know, there's like some guys like dressing somebody up like in a, uh, you know what? Outfit or whatever. You know, it's like we need you had the full trailer like hold that shit. Oh everything is like electrical line It's like don't you know and people like you you funded it too like you guys made it You wrote it and funded it and everything so isn't that like how like nerve-wracking was that to like be like all right Whether we're gonna it is gonna do well gonna get gonna invest them back But even the fact that you've never done that before and then to walk in on a production that like that size and then be at the like the person running it basically That's a good question, dude. I think Honestly, like I kind of struggled with like That you know, I want to be in like You know, I'm very particular about what I put out in a way like I just I wanted to try and be true to myself however Right, and it wasn't like battery thing. It was just different right and I and I and I'm going back I wish in some places. I wish I would have spoke up more and in some places. I wish I would have spoke up less It's gonna be a learning experience. We made the one movie and now it was a learning experience for me Like I didn't like a lot. There's a lot of things. I would change that to it But a lot of people go see your movie. Yeah, it was out when COVID hit we were in theaters when the world shut down So we were expanding because like we were doing that we had a great Perth theater average So they can give us a wide wide roll out, but we were we were the highest Perth theater average So it kept expanding week over week So we were heading into our fifth week. They were gonna give us like a few more weeks and then it shut down Yeah, it's kind of enough But yeah, I don't have a ton of ego in it. I think it was awesome. I learned so much. Did you have nerves like every day or did they that go away? No, I just Because I would just be like Did I have nerves like what first for sure some scenes. I did some scenes. I just got to be David's I'm like the ball. I'm like say if somebody's bouncing a ball off a wall. I'm kind of the wall, right? Sure sure And then it kind of over time it changed a little bit where I'm like sometimes I'm catching the ball and throw it back Yeah, so I think it was just moments of confidence When my confidence would feel okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and learning as I went But I mean, I take an act class over the years. I've done a lot of practice scenes and shit But in the end you just want to have fun with your buddy and you want to come up with what's funny So we'd be sitting there improv in a lot like throwing ideas and say we like we'll try this one And then sometimes you want to hold your idea because you don't want to tell him because you want to say it in real time So it's actually funny But a lot of that yeah, but looking back I think there's so many just little moments like just seeing like spade Like just trying to stay warm because we had a day like we were supposed to shoot during the coat during the um Fires the shit fucking you know Whoever it was somebody that Spencer Pratt hates trying to burn down the policy, you know And while all that shit was happening, you know Our movie was supposed to shoot but once you've already paid and got shit locked in you're kind of locked in Yeah, yeah for sure and so we look one day there was like 60 mile per hour wins and we didn't need wind in the movie or whatever Right, right. You have to it has to be in it. We can't afford to retune so right. Right. You know, it's like Seen of you guys like in the park and is a tornado for no reason like you do you do my make mention of it in the movie Or is it just like whipping wins? Oh, there's just whipping There's one day at this gas station Um the guy uh Stevie Genusky Steve little he's from uh he's been in down. Oh god dude He is the funniest guy is I mean that character the the outtakes from Eastbound and down on the Greatest thing ever ever on record. Yeah, you you worked with him. How is he in real life? Oh, dude I mean, it's literally like the nicest guy He's so funny. It's all like for somebody that has such an effect like being funny It's almost like he doesn't want to have too much of an effect in any other way not on he just he's a gentle guy That's what I mean, okay. He's a genius Gentle guy he doesn't he's not trying to stir the pottery thing, but you put him right there in the middle of a porridge and cut those lights on and dang Hey, he had you laughing. It's a beautiful soup That's awesome. Yeah, just little things like that I think and looking back and like So the fires delayed you No, we just had to like move a little bit over this hill, you know and like we'll probably be safe over this hill or whatever and I'm like That sounds always like during yeah, yeah, that's oh, yeah, I was during them. Oh my god, dude No, when you're like it's like it's shit was spreading across town like yeah, there'd be times you'd be going a crawl Yeah, and you'd see just oh my god. You see a bird fly by and he was on fire Stop bro. He's like I got to get somewhere And I was like my wife's pissed or whatever. He's like all right. Just do it. Oh, man But yeah, I didn't even think to say that yeah, the fires were going on. So there'd be days you're driving home and shit Just all fire everywhere. That's messed. Oh, it was crazy. We had to have I Executive produced this show that that started that came out this week actually. It's called foul play Anthony Davis AD NBA player. Oh, yeah, he played it for the Pelicans. He played in the war. He's in the he I was I think it's on Dallas I got treated from the Lakers. Yeah, I think so, but but um, so he has his show. It's like it's like a punk don't want sight It's our lesson. We had to pull up. We had to pull a bit from the first episode 16 episodes It's just and it rated it just aired it rated like the highest new series on on TBS and like years But so we had this thing where Floyd Mayweather was the guest and he was helping us do this like prank on this person So this this family lost their house in a fire. This was before the fires. Okay, family Like the setup was that this family lost their house in a fire and Floyd Mayweather held this charity barbecue for them to get like Like with the community to get like their belongings back so people brought them like gifts and stuff beautiful all their Like their housewares and front things back and like people are donating this stuff at the barbecue at the charity barbecue and then they all their stuff catches fire from the barbecue and burns again So like they just lost I feel like almost all this dude. It was the funniest thing ever At Floyd Floyd Mayweather is in on it But then when they then the fires happen like we're like we can't put this in. It's like it's too insensitive So they pulled it but it was like you're supposed to be in the first episode is really funny But uh and Dremont Green was there. Yeah, he was in another one He's always fighting. He's always hitting white dudes all the time. I don't know. He used to be anyway He might have gotten healed or would it might have gotten saved. Well, yeah, I haven't I haven't heard of much about him He was just in white or off whites or whatever you know, he's hitting like mixed dudes It was like mixed and down, you know, you just seem like a lot of times he wouldn't crack like a real Solid black dude. I know we'll say that bro and respect him. He's a champion He whoop my ass, but he he definitely punched mixed and down But dude that's so cool. What's Anthony Davis like does he have a big personality? Yeah, he's dope He's really fun. He the reason we end up doing this because he was a guest on our show and We did a bunch of stuff with them and then he was like, I love this. He's like I love this more than basketball He's like, this is what I really want to do It's what he got he's like, I this is what this is where I really wish I could do and we're like why don't we develop something together And then we did and got picked up foul play foul play. That's also some people watching us on TBS. Yeah, it's on every week now That's great, bro. Yeah, I'll share something about it as soon as our show's over. Yeah Dude, we got and I told you we got I start filming Joker's again in two days season 13 Crazy so minutia's the podcast. Yeah, podcast improv show. I think it's like a talk show. Okay. Yeah, it's a talk show And that's just gonna be on YouTube. Yeah, well, we're gonna pitch it We're gonna, you know try to sell it, but you know YouTube's great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we're doing YouTube and you should be like just on YouTube And now you're like if it's better be on YouTube. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah Dude, yeah, that's great. You're staying so busy. Do you feel kind of overwhelmed? Yeah, yeah, I haven't I had another kid since I saw you last So do you remember last time? Yeah, man. Yeah, you know, I did I get talked to so much about about my parents on here last time and the clip of me talking about my daughter Oh, yeah, it was like it was pretty dope. I like it. I want to see it. Yeah Yeah, I just want to feel something today I hadn't spoken about my anything in public prior to this your show now is like it's like news is the news media now like this is You know, this is I'm like all right, so I he's like let's you know, I talked about on my own terms with you. I felt comfortable I'm like, you know, you were like you take it off you want to just leave it just put it out and have it I never since then it's been like a new thing for me because like it's out in the open now now my new hour that I'm torn with like I Talk about my family my kids. I never did that before Do something that we honestly just talk like honestly sound like just tell me like yeah, because I think there's like There's probably parts in all of our lives. We're afraid to talk about something. Yeah, or afraid just talk about it And then it ends up being different on the other side because yeah, I think you were uh Yeah, let's just we'll take a peek at it really quickly. You know, let's take this out Happiness I love the music of the background That's good. That's good man. Well, how do they put the music like that? That was a little It felt like yeah, it felt like the beginning of Castlevania Yeah, like come on this guy's on the one to play a screen is like yeah, yeah, in the beginning It's like yeah, the witch is a gay player dude. Yeah, that's like when a gay guy kind of gets trapped and like you know Fuck it out of Halloween party in New Jersey, dude. That's what Castlevania was because it's just this dude just running around with a whip That wasn't like the like the most popular clip and what happened was a lot of parenting Like accounts like entering accounts and then yeah, they picked that up and inspirational accounts Oh, that's and there was a different clip and that it just went like so so viral and then because your show is like so big like Us Weekly and did they really all those people and all that stuff picked up. It's like Sal's secret wedding And it's like I wasn't really a secret. I just like tell you guys. I got married. It was like a secret wedding But that's kind of hot though It kind of makes it kind of hot for you and Francesca that it's just like oh, it's a secret wedding. That had some allure to it Oh and practical joker star Sal reveals He secretly got married and has a baby daughter, bro. That makes you sound like a fucking rapper Yeah, yeah, but dude deal. I saw a boy now too. No, the best dude is best is he yeah, he's so dope. Oh, he's awesome man. What's his name? If it would have been any other name, I would not have been excited Dude, that's so cool, man. Yeah, yeah, but didn't feel like I want to I want to hear about him. Yeah Well, yeah, tell me what do you love about what's what it's something that's just like you know, so cool It's like so I went through everything with my daughter and then like She's like three and a half now. He's about 16 months and like you you you it goes so fast It's so nice to get to do it over again because those moments when they're that young are so fleeting They're changed. They're growing so fast there like it's a new thing all the time and it goes lightning fast And you try the best you can to save it, but it's like it's it's it's it goes so fast So then to just start from scratch again and then like the first time It's all firsts for you and the kid, right? So it's like you're processing all this stuff And then so the second time you have like a you have this foundation and an idea and you know what to look Already so you can kind of experience it in a different way you just experience it like a little bit more You're able to really absorb it because it's not like you're like a deer in the headlights And so it's like you're playing hot potato the whole time. Yeah exactly and it's like you just and you just um It's just really nice to Those stages are the ones that you know parents are always like oh if I could have my kids back at that age again You know, so it was like nice to get like a double dip in there And and just watch them grow like interact and and watch their relationship together build Like the kids. There's nothing that that's the when they're like Sitting on the couch to get a lean on each other just eating fruit, you know like and he'll just crawl up on the couch And put his head on her shoulder and while she's just like eating somewhere and they just sit there like and then you walk into the room And you see them just cuddle in each other or whatever. It's like come on man. There's like literally nothing close to this Oh, that's nothing I get right in between them, you know, they get um, you know Yeah, but the best thing I could do is is have my kids in my lap just holding them, you know like it just watching like just Yes, I know it's I bet it's almost I guess you almost I bet can't I bet you almost feel like you can't even let them know how much you love them It's impossible. It's impossible. That's kind of a crazy thing if you think about it that there's something inside of us Yeah, even just as humans right where you I couldn't even let you know how much I love you if if I had Like it's impossible for me to it's it's it's it's impossible. I don't know how to express it. Yeah And do you feel like that's probably a feeling for most parents? It has to be I think it's in innate feeling right so so and I'm not trying to approach it But I forget sometimes if I don't share what I'm feeling so that to me just shows us how powerful love must be if we can't even If like as human beings being just as like citizens in the world. We can't even, if like the love that you would have for your child, you can't even express. - It can't be expressed. - It can't even express. - No, the way, nothing we'll do with justice. There's no way to actually encapsulate it. - It's pretty powerful 'cause the other things you can express, a lot of other feelings, like anger, hatred, you know, like affection or like, look up some other feelings. Sorry. (laughing) - Would you stop short of three? (laughing) - What if it was pretty easy? - You're like happy, mad. - What else? - Confused, cranky. I mean, all these other things. - But this is so cute, I mean to cut you off. - No, no, go on, you cut me off. But you get what I'm saying now? - Isn't it crazy that we can't even, that it's love is such a powerful thing. We, it's bigger than us even as humans, because we're not able to, you know what I'm saying we can't. - Yeah, and now that is pinging in my heart at all times. Like, you know when you're like your heart melts, you know how feeling, like sometimes just in the moment you see something or like whatever and you're like, your heart melts a little bit. So what this is like, is that like the melting feeling is constant. - Oh. - Yeah, yeah. So like just, fully, it doesn't stop. - You walk around with a mop. - Yeah, yeah, it just doesn't stop. It's like continually melting the whole time. If they're, you know, I talked about that. If they're even in the room with me, just something changes, you know, that's it. It's just, it's wow. But, - Yeah, remember you're saying that too? Yeah, it was just, that was awesome to hear about. - And it's so, it's so cute to see them. Like, see those, you just had up those color-coded things. So my daughter, she goes to like occupational therapy. And she, to learn about her like, to proud of processor this stuff and her feelings so they teach her this stuff. And so she knows all these color-coded emotions. So when she comes home and she's having like a, 'cause they're gonna, you know, they're gonna have these, like these, it's inevitable for them to, like when they grow up to have these like, you know, their tantrums and this, they have to work through all of this. It's not like you have a bad kid if they're like, if they act out, like they're gonna be crazy at two and three as old. - Right, 'cause they're, all these feelings are getting baked in. - They're getting developed. - And they don't know how to, you know. - It's like for someone to get an online scooter, you're like, you know, I'm like, you just fucking taking that bitch for a second. - That was like the first time I got on one. - Yeah. - Yeah, it was like, I didn't know what was going on. But she'll tell me, like if she's like upset, she'll be like, dad, I mean, the blue zone right now, they call the blue zone. She's like, dad, I'm in the blue zone right now. And I'm like, you're upset. She's like, yeah, I'm sad, I'm in the blue zone. She's like, I need to get to the green zone. Like this is how she speaks to me. I'm like, let's do it. What do you need to get into that green zone? Let's do it. - She's dope, man. They're like my, you know, best, little best friends. - Dude, that's so cool though. Also for a kid, even just to be able to like, well, just to have a, instead of just having a feeling, have a thought about a feeling, right? - Yeah. - Okay. - Well, what is, so it's, it's like add so much more to you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's unreal. You're not just a victim of how you feel. There's a little bit more like. - Oh, they start critical. Like they start thinking in a way that's just not, just basic. It's like, think about like at the end of the day we, when she goes to bed, we always discuss the day. So we talk about like, I'll sing our song. And in the song, I, with the song I sing every night, I made, I made it up myself. Oh, just naturally it came out, you know? And then I started adding verses to it. Now I think this whole song, and the song, the whole point of that as long as I love you, I love you so much, you'll never know how much I love you. That's literally what it is. But then we talk about the day. And then I'll say like, you know, what, you know, what were you most proud of today? So like, she's three, but to get her thinking like that, like not just like, would you do today, but what were you the most proud of today? It positions her mind to think that way, and then like build our confidence of it. This stuff, like there's so much parenting stuff and psychology, child psychology, it's fascinating. And it's like, you know, it's the most important job you'll ever have, you know? So I like taking, you know, it's great to, it's hard, but it's like, it's really fun to raise a human being. It's like, it's so, it's an honor, you know, like it's a real honor. 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Put a earpiece in the ear. You're not doing punishments yet, yeah, yeah. No, no, it's more about just managing their behavior. But it's like, yeah, I mean, it's just punishment. Yeah, what was it? But what was it like? So after you kind of shared that you had a family, you kind of had that your family was growing, right? And sometimes, you know, I knew you had said like, and sometimes everybody, you want to keep certain things that it's just your own life, right? Yeah, stop. I mean, I'm private. I was always private. So I want you to give it away. Did it feel different? It felt like a weight lifted. It did? It did. And has it been a positive thing, or do you-- Or just like-- Yeah, has it been like, OK, does it feel? Because I'm trying to also protect everything all the time. It's also kind of a lot of stress. It is. That took a lot. It took a lot to keep things to myself. And not, you know, like, not what things get out. When I'm out in public with them, you know, like, because everyone has a camera now and everything is like, you always got this, like, bird, like a worry. You know, because I want to-- I won't have to post my kids online. Like, I want to shield them from that. But it's just about protecting them. But people would chill with it. And like, now that it's out there, it's like, it feels like I could just freely talk about it. It feels good. Yeah, it feels good. It was like, you know, I'm glad I did it. Yeah. What was one of the tough experiences that you had with your first child? Was there like a time that would like, you know, because like the other day, my buddy Kevin and his wife, they, like, I think maybe their kid, like, ate like a thing a little bit of guacamole. What are you talking about? And when I was allergic-- I think his ears, like, swole up. No, shit, dude, that's scary shit. And like, shit, he's allergic to, like, Mexican shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that, like, no, you never know. But you don't want to run your kid into the hospital and sound racist, like, hey, I think he's allergic to, like, Mexicans. Yeah, well, Mexican flavors. Mexican flavors, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I'm in. Oh, I got this though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't think that anyone would take it as like, you know, a slight against any Mexican people. The people are trying to look for an edge all the time. Yeah, yeah. And I think that would be sort of specified. Yeah, let me do. I'd be like that. It's the ingredients. Like, yeah, yeah. They happen to be, they happen to be all Mexican cuisine, but I don't know what that is. Yeah, they happen to use it best. Yeah. But yeah, and I think these have been bought from, like, maybe a Latin vende. It could have been a Puerto Rican guy. Who knows? It could have been, yeah. That's the craziest thing though. Like, when they-- But yes, if they get hurt or something like that. Yes. So they ran on me, yes. But they're like, they don't know what's going on. You're like, you know, Max, he is just swollen up. You know, he's allergic to watching the bomb or whatever. I don't think that's a problem with you, Val. But anyway, yeah. But anyway, what I'm saying is, sorry, what is wrong with me? Why can't I say what I'm saying? What I'm saying is that it flew through my body for like a crazy, you know, I saw him like it was like, he was so freaked out. Dude, I sometimes I'll fall, like, hit their mouth and start bleeding or something. You see, when you see blood on your head, It's like, and you have to be like so chill. You have to dictate the tone so they don't, you know, and then it's true. - Is that true? - Yeah, I mean, that's the best way to do it to keep them even tempered and like, they're gonna reflect your energy and they're gonna react the way you teach them to react to something. So you always gotta try and play it even keeled and like not make a big thing of stuff like that so that they're able to handle situations which sounds better, you know? But it is nuts, dude. Like, one time I was like, you're trying to cut my son's nails. Like, you know, you gotta clip that, and like, they don't, kids, they don't stay still. And dude, I clipped a little piece of the end of his finger. Like, and he sort of just bleeding everywhere. Dude, I almost, I didn't know what I was gonna do myself after that. I was like, so, I was, and at one time, he walked away and go did it with his brother. - He did? - Yeah. - He clipped or he's got, I think he might've cut his ear off or something. Never mind. - No, Van Gogh cut his own ear off, but I didn't know he clipped anything with his brother. So, maybe everyone in the family was missing something in this. - Dude, did you know Pablo Picasso died like a couple of years ago? - He used to eat that clip. - Yeah, I do. - What was his friends doing? - Gary Vite, Gary Vita was with me this week. - It was, it was Vita. - Okay. - He was talking with him. - He's the one who told me, yeah, we were talking in the car, actually. He's like, dude, yeah, yeah. - Bring it up. - Let's bring that clip up. - I mean, it was through his 50 years ago. But like, I thought Picasso was like from the 80s. And he told it, we're in the car. He's like, do you know this? And I was like, no, he's like, dude, he was, he was like alive when we were born. Yeah, I think one of the part of it is he, did you know that Picasso probably ate it out back steak house? - You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. I never put that together. - Yeah. - Oh yes, it's Joe Liss, sorry, sorry, my bad. - You guys know this, Pablo Picasso, you know when he died, he died in 1973. Did you know that? I thought he died in 1380. (laughing) I almost shit, 1973. Picasso had a car. (laughing) Is that unbelievable? Pablo Picasso was driving around Spain in like a Honda Civic, listening to Black Sabbath on the radio. - Oh, it's crazy. - Ozzy Osborne and Pablo Picasso were working at the same time. He saw six Super Bowls. (laughing) - I thought it looked extra alive. - Oh, Liss is the best. - That's good. Yeah, dude, he's so great. He was in a great movie that Louis made too, man. - Yes. - I don't know, Joe Liss, that movie was great. They did a good job. Such talented guys. That was a great bit. - I got something, so I wanna try and find these people. Maybe this saying that here can help me. All right, I got a story for you. - Yeah. - So this last night, we talked about this last night, just came out and it was a story that I forgot about. And I'm like, I'll talk to Theo about it, maybe I could get. So in 1995, I was at the Salvation Army with my buddy, Joe. And we found a VHS cassette, right? And it was like a home, a home one, not like a movie, like you buy, like a, you know, a home, like a blank. - Okay. - I had a label on it and it said, Amy and Stu Shankman's wedding. - Oh. - And it was, I'm gonna maybe get the exact date wrong, so let's say it said like November 25th 1995. It said, I'm sorry, it said November 25th 1985. - Okay. - Right, it said, Stu and Amy Shankman's wedding, November 25th 1985, that day that we picked it up was November 25th 1995. So I found this blank cassette of this people's wedding on their 10 year anniversary. Now back then, you got, if you had your wedding taped on VHS, that's where it was, that's it, like that was the copy. And this was handwritten. So it's like, I think they accidentally got rid of it. Like they don't have their wedding video, you know what I'm like. - Right, so Amy and Stu Shankman do not have their wedding video. - Right, and we picked it up on the exact date. We were like, holy shit, 50 cents, we bought it, we went home and watched their whole wedding, right? It's amazing. It's a wedding from 1985. It's a, it's a Jewish wedding from 1985. The best man, this little, little short guy, Yamagai, he does, he does, in his best man speech, he wraps. I swear to God. And I'll know, I mean, I, at this point, I've watched it. - Was it BC, boys? - I've watched it a lot of times. - No, he wraps his own wrap. - Oh, and now this is the part, this is, I'll never, I know because I watch it, he's like, he's jumping up and down. And he's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. We're going to party tonight. We're going to jump up and down. It's never going to end. This was the wrap. So it's an amazing wedding. I swear to God, it's an amazing wedding. And I watch it over the years. I've had people over, we put it on. I watch it this, this, that. About maybe five years after that, I'm at my friend Joe, we're in a gas station. He's getting gas in his car. And he's like, sal. And I'm like, well, he goes, look at that car right there. And there's a car that's like pulling out of the gas station. He's like, look, look, look in the car. Who do you think that is? And I look and I go, is that fucking Stu Shankman? No. - I don't know this guy from a hole in the wall. - He's like, I think it's Stu Shankman. So I'm like, oh shit, and he pulled out. And my friend had to finish paying the gas. And we jumped in the car, peeled out, and tried to follow him. And we lost him. - Oh. - Okay. So fast forward. - He'd lose in people. I hate, especially in a chase. - Yeah. - So then I never gave, I have this wedding video. I still have it. Do you have a piece of their life? Do you have a piece of one of the greatest moments of their life? - Yeah, right. So about two years ago, I'm like, we gotta find these people. - Search for Stu Shankman. - Yes. And we gotta see if, like, what's up? I gotta get them this video. So my friend found his brother or something on Facebook and confirmed, like, we were like, who knows if they're dead or they're still together? What's going on? So he reached out. He said that he told them we got at a thrift store. We found their wedding video in 1995. Like, I've had their wedding video for 31 years. - Oh. - I have it. For 31 years, I've had their wedding video. They've been married. This will be their 41st anniversary, the shit. Their brother's like, they're still alive and together. I swear to God, he's like, this is insane. You gotta, like, yes, so I'll, let's broker this. - Yeah. - So I had the idea a couple of years ago and I was developing a TV show. And so this was an idea for one episode of this TV show where I like do things like this. And so that's when we decided to reach out. Anyway, I didn't finish developing the show and I kind of forgot about them. And I thought of it last night and I brought it up and I was like, oh shit, in this brother's eyes, we contacted him. We're like, yo, we have their wedding video and we wanna get it to you. And then we went radio silent again. And he's like, why do these people do this to me and my family? So I'm like, I gotta, I gotta remember, I gotta find him and I wanna get him in a video. So I feel like if anyone knows, I think they were originally from Staten Island and so Stu and Amy Shankman and I have your wedding video for the last 31 years and I wanna give it to you. - I was a child. I digitalized a copy of it for myself because when I thought I was gonna give it back, I was like, I won't share it with anyone, but it's also a piece of me now. - It's fine, this fee. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, you know? - So I have it. - Yeah, you gotta search him for the shankmans, dude, because there's something special about that. I know, I used to know it got him Alec Shankman. I knew a couple of shankmans. - Oh, I know a shankman, too, actually. - There was an agent I knew. I actually knew a shankman. I knew a shankman. I don't think they're related, but you just remind me, I think he's like a choreographer. - Yeah, there's a lot of shankmans up there. - Is there a famous shankman choreographer? - Especially in Hollywood. - Adam Shankman, Adam Shankman. - I didn't know Adam. - I just realized for the first time, I had no shankman. - The shankman. Hey, you know what shankman? - Yeah. Dude, that's wild. - So I hope I find them. - Well, I hope that you find them also. - Stu and Amy, the guy's been holding your love and you know, the guy's been watching you. One of the greatest moments of your life. - Five months. - In his spare time on the L-Trade level. - That's right, yeah. - Dude, do you think there's really something could be a cool show out there to make or create. People say this show all the time, but of like, something about finding old things on VHS and then. - Yeah, like found footage. - Yeah. - Dude, I worked with this one comedian. There had been like one of those Nigerian scams that had happened to his grandmother and they'd taken a lot of her money, right? - Okay. - You know, those things that email you, like a trapped in a petting zoo in Nigeria. - Yeah. - So they won't let me out or whatever. - Sure, sure. - Send the money. So to get them back, he started doing these things where he would send them videos of things. And he said, I need you to do reenactments of this. And then I'll pay you for it. But instead, he would just have them do the reenactment and then he would just post a video online, right? - No. - But the best part was what he would send him was, he would send him scenes from Seinfeld, right? So he would send like, scenes from Seinfeld to like, some people in Africa like into Serena Village and they would reenact the scenes. - No. - Yeah. - And he had all these amazing-- - You got to be kidding me. - He had all these amazing video clips, dude. - Oh my God. - Of an African village reenacting like, "Master of my domain?" - Yes. (laughing) - Or the parking one, like they had all these different ones that he was reenacting. It was pretty great, dude. And so eventually it healed him. He's like, okay, at a certain point, we're kind of even, you know? (laughing) But dude, 'cause comedians can hold some grudges over the years. But yeah, I've been always been a little bit of a collector. You find something you save and you're like, "Ah, maybe I'm so excited." - You told me once, I don't know if you remember this, you told me once. And hindsight now, I realized you were probably joking, but you were like, yeah, I have a marble notebook with the name of every person I've ever slept with in it. - Oh, damn, really? - I used to know that, yeah. - Oh my God. and he's like, I'm like, yeah. - A marble notebook? - Oh, you said you had a notebook. I mean, in my head, I project it, it was like a mead, like a school notebook. You look like, yeah, and I've written it down my whole life and I'm like, you gotta be fucking kidding me. And you're like, no, I know the exact number of people I've slept with. - Really? - Yeah, yeah. So you were fucking with me, I'm sure, but. - I was always kind of a documenter of things. - You, the number, and I remember the number you say. - Yeah, I do, yeah, 'cause it's really funny. - Ah, okay, it's really funny. - This is the only part I can't believe that I always say something like this, but I wanna hear it. - You wanna know what you tell me? I said, you said, I have every single name, I never miss a name, and I was like, you know the exact number you said, you said, yeah, I'm like, how many you said, about a thousand fifty? - Oh, really? - Yeah, and then you're like, I'm not good at it, but it was a thousand fifty, which is like, and I was a sterile lover. - That's insane. - I was like, no one, I mean, it's like, we'll chamberlain. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's insane, dude, yeah. I don't even know who it was me, but I believe that I could have said this. - You told me that. - Oh, I did, good. - Good. - Oh, shit. - I'm glad that at least I was. - You don't have a, I mean, your real number's not anywhere close to that. That's crazy, so. - No, that's insane. Oh, dude, yeah, I mean, I've always like, - A thousand fifty is, it's the perfect the only thing. - It's really the perfect number to say, dude, because it's like, to go over a thousand. - Yeah, it's great. - A thousand and eight. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I remember when I was growing up to hit this kid, his brother had slept with like 12 women or something, people were fucking losing their minds in our town. - Yeah, 'cause we were cutting down trees and fucking tickling people, they shouldn't touch and shit like that. - That shit like that will affect you. - Oh, dude. - When you have like, when you're over an age where no one's got that kind of number yet, or maybe everyone's a virgin. - Oh, yeah. - You know, one kid's like, I slept with 12 people, you're just like, I gotta know all about it. - Here we go. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm just, yeah, there's nothing. Yeah, then my life is means nothing. You know, we're gonna bask in robins or whatever. And some guys slept with 12 people. - 12 people. - I just should be in Hades, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, that shit was hectic, dude. (laughing) Dude, I was the worst at sex. Let me see, let's look at high activity lifestyle. For a person averaging one new partner per week, it would take approximately 20 years to reach a thousand virgin partners. So, yeah, a lot. (laughing) A lot, bro. Dude, there was some years where I wouldn't even get involved in any sex. I was so fucking bad at it. - See, you were bad at it. So, you've come a long way. - I've come a long way, dude, yeah. Yeah, I think well, for one. - Are you a generous lover, yeah? - No. - No, okay. - I'm not, dude, I'm like that. For me, I realize this the other day. I'm in like this, I'm in recovery meeting for everything. So, I was in one the other day. And people talk about this kind of stuff a lot. And like, intimacy disorders shit like that, right? Like, I'm out of here. I'm basically like a, I'm like a crash test dummy. That's what I realized. Other people are like living a life. And I am basically a crash test dummy out of here. - Why do you feel that way? - Just 'cause it's like, I feel like I'm never gonna figure out some of these parts. And I'm just gonna be almost this like experiment that kind of happens, you know? - Right. - Like, I realized, I thought of it loving. It was like a off. It felt like a alter, it's like an altercation you get in. It has the same energy of like a session. Like a fight. - Like an intimate session? - Yeah, an intimate session has like a sexual session has like an almost battle. - Yeah, it's a fight, not like physically, like it's a fight. But just like the same amount of nervous energy that's in a fight. - Sure, sure, sure. - That's the energy that I take into like a sexual camp. (laughing) So, like, if you see me, if we're working up, and I just keep kind of ducking or dodging, or if I duck off into the corner and have some guy, I barely know rubbing his board on my cheeks or whatever. - I'm gonna put a thing on ice on the back of my neck or whatever. - You have a corner, man. - Yeah, just, just, no. I'm doing the best that I can. - Just plugging your nose up. - Yeah, yeah. (laughing) You know, some guy is like putting a cotton swab on my nose. But dude, yeah, I just, I always, I had so much nervous energy around women, bro. - Yeah. - So that was crazy, dude. - I love when they do, like in a UFC fight or like a boxing match, whatever, when they cut to the corner, right? And it's like, you know, and you hear everything that the corner guy is saying, the trainer says, it's always like wildly inappropriate. Like, fuck this motherfucker, bro. You're gonna fuck him up, man, it's cunt. And then you're like, you're sticking with it. But then you're like, home watching a fight or like, or you're somewhere and it's like, you just don't expect here. Like, this guy's a motherfucking bitch, bro. You know, his mother passed away two months ago, huh? And he was like, oh shit, he's like, yeah, you learn and shit. You're like, damn, you know? His cousin Azaz might hit this little point. Yeah, like they said, he'll be like, don't be a fucking pussy, but I'm like, whoa. I know real in the corner, 'cause it's real. But it's really just sounds like, that's what makes anybody think they could be a corner, like also some of those behaviors. Yeah, yeah, I can say that. 'Cause it, yeah, it doesn't feel like there's a lot of real instruction coming in there. So yeah, sometimes you hear someone get really good pointers and then you go to the other corner and they're just like, all right, bro. And you feel like, what is this guy doing? Yeah, they're saying nothing. They're saying nothing to the guy. I know. That is pretty wild, dude. But yes, in a Miss Bross, some of that shit, I was like, you know, there's fainting goats shit gets going too much and they just go over. Yeah, that's me. Yeah, you hit like a thing and then. Oh, yeah, I hit like about 30 volts or whatever. Yes, yes, yes, yeah, bro. It's like, I hit about, yo, what does a good sound as a goat make? Let me try it. They even have the sheep though? There's a goat in the sheep make the same noise? I think goats are more curious. So I think it's more like, no, let me try it really? No, that's more like a, but what does the sheep do then? So it's the same thing. No sheep that goats sheep's bad. Oh, yeah, sheep's bad. But then the goat is bad. Am I crazy? I don't know this. I don't know the difference. Is it sheep because sheep's not a goat? A gay goat just like bagger. Stupid street joke, what is a gay horse eat? Hey, it's so stupid. Some jokes like that, they were the best. Getting to laugh is the best, man. That's the best thing, bro. Getting to laugh. The fact one thing I will say, bro, about certain moments are live like, obviously been grateful that God has put me around people that, that love just make me laugh. Yeah, we are friends of the funniest people in the world. It's crazy. It's crazy. You know, I struggle on stage. I always sometimes I think about this. Like I really, in the moment on stage, when I'm on stage, and I like to laugh. And so like I laugh, you know, throughout my set a lot. Then sometimes I'm like, I don't think of it. It's just me being me. But then a lot of times I'm like, I don't want to laugh. Like I don't want it to be like I'm laughing at my own stuff. But I really am in the moment having a good time. But I'm like, I don't want that to come us across as a crutch. So sometimes I'll be like, all right, today consciously when you do like this hour, do not laugh, do not laugh. And just see how it plays. Like don't laugh. Just like kind of keep, you know, and see how it plays differently with, you know, like, do you like, are you in the moment when you're on stage? Do you laugh at your own? Will you laugh and like just have fun in the moment? Are you like kind of like keep it like this persona of like, you know, 'cause when you like tell your stories and stuff, you have a, you know, you have a certain energy involved the way you do it. Yeah. But do you think about that on stage? I do. So you like consciously don't want laugh. Or like, will you just like laugh? I'd like to laugh more. I used to think like, especially when I was coming up and coming to you here about all these things that are kind of crutches. I don't want to, yeah, some people write their notes. You're like, well, that's a crutch. And it's like, well, that's a crutch. Well, also how about this? Somebody's getting up in front of you and trying to make a room full of people laugh. Right. I don't care if they're on crutches. Eight crutches, I don't care if they're, I don't care if there's one person in two wheelchairs. Right, right, right. Let them, if there's things that help them, I think it, to me, I think it's okay. Yeah. Well, I don't like to lie. I'm not doing it as a crutch. What I'm saying is like, I naturally laugh. And so I have to fight my natural instinct. Don't ever fight your laughter. Your laugh is one that warms people. It's like, it's extra you, you know? Sure. And so that I think is a gift. And I think some of these people, they've gotten to know some of us in our lives and they may be happy that we're in a room laughing, you know? Sure. Just like they are, you know? Yeah, I'm having a good time. Yeah, you have a good time. I say laugh, dude. I notice if, and I'll even be conscious of it, and I was like, oh, the set's not going that great in the beginning. And sometimes we're like, dude, it's because you're not having fun. Yes. So let myself have fun. Yes. And let me be the person that's saying the jokes. Really, sometimes I'll try to almost transpose myself and pretend like I'm just sitting there laughing at the jokes. Right. And then just almost like, I don't know. Because the person I always wanted to be the person sitting there laughing. But to me, I've always had like, you know, sometimes there's like a chip or something type of shit running up, this, that, that, that, you know? Yeah. And so I was always like, you know, or being judgmental, whatever. So, so he ended up on the other end of the thing. I'm going to be the guy who's being a part of making the laughter. Right. But either way, I'm happy to be involved in the laughter. And I think it's okay if you laugh with the crutch, or some people say it's crutch, I don't. I find it especially as I get older. Fuck, if I get a chance to laugh. Yeah, but I think that's, that's what I'm saying. So I think it's a lot of shit to say. No, I think it's just making the distinction of like, I'm on stage having a good time. Like, not with intent. Like, some people will laugh one thousand and 50s. Crazy. Crazy. Yeah. That's a crazy thing to say. I thought about it ever since you told me. Dude, you really have to have, I, I, I retained the knowledge. Bro, with, you know, I was scary. It would be if one woman came over to my house every week to hook up. That would fucking make me. Like, it sounded, sounded crazy to me when you said it. Bro, if I knew that every week, some gal was coming over for sex, too. I would fucking have to keep moving it's off putting yes too much. It's too much the schedule is too insane. It's too much, man. Yeah. That's a lot of hanging over your head, man. Every week. Oh, I get anxiety thinking about that and hearing them peel off and disappointment too. Here in the grab. They leave an hurry. Yeah. And you don't even have gravel. They're so pissed. They wouldn't buy gravel and put it under their tires. I love that every time someone leaves your house at the sex, they peel out of here. Yeah, too, bro. My fucking uncle, he was supposed to get gravel and he actually got a bunch of like fish on whatever this stuff that goes to the bottom of the pellets. Yeah, fish, Kate, fish, food. Yeah, no, like the fish. Koi. Yeah, nah, shit that goes in a fish. Oh, the fishing gravel, the fish tank gravel. Yeah, he got fish tank gravel, dude. And his wife was so pissed, but it was irreturnable, bro. And dude, they fought about that shit. But hearing people fight over, yeah, and you're fucking fish gravel. You and your fucking fish gravel, James. Yeah. Just here and shit like here in terms like that, you and your shitty little fish gravel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fighting over gravel. Yeah, just this gravel. Here in any people fight over gravel, just God, that's the kind of shit that keeps me going. I have, I had a fish, my niece, you know, when they have like the fair at school, they go festival and they give you those fish, they're about to die, they give them the children. Oh, that's, that's fuck, it's messed up. You throw like a ping pong ball in a cup and then they tend to get home with a bag of fish and like these fish are just dying. And so my niece brought home with fish and I knew this shit was going to die because like I, when I did it when I was a kid, I could never keep a fish alive because I never set up. I come home, put the fish in a bowl. Yeah. And then not really understand it needs a filter and it needs to be aerated. And then the fish would eventually die. I would feed it like bread, you know, and then it would die. One time I brought a fish home and I was like, um, I don't know if I ever told this story, but like I brought a fish home from school. And I, I was like, I knew that the previous fish had died. And I thought it 'cause they didn't have bubbles, which in my head, I was like, it needs bubbles. I didn't think it needed like air. Right. It needs bubbles. So I got home. My mom wasn't home yet. So I put a big salad bowl, I put the fish in it and I got a straw. And I was going to tell my mom, we have to go to the thing to buy the, you know, this fish store to buy the stuff so this fish will survive. But I needed to bridge the gap till she got home. So I took a straw and for like three hours, I blew into the, into the bowl. But I was blowing carbon dioxide into the bowl and I killed the fish immediately. So the fish died within hours because I was just hitting it with CO2 out of my mouth. So my niece brought this fish home years later. I'm like, I'm not going to let this happen again. I went and got the set up and I ended up having this fish for seven years. And then, um, I moved the fish came with me. And then one day the fish was dead and I had a nowhere though. It like died. I can nowhere in no reason. You know, I just cleaned the tank. It was a very healthy fish. And I think there was foul play. I really do think so. No way. I think someone put like, because I tested the pH, I would do all that shit. And then I had to, I cleaned it. And then I had people over and then I, it was dead. And then I think it was like someone like poured something in the tank. I said, then I didn't want to flush the fish. I had a 70 relationship with the fish. Oh, yeah. And so, uh, I didn't want to flush. I was going to bury it. I'm not a told this, but I was going to bury it, but I didn't want to bury in the yard because of summer. And I didn't want it to decompose and smell. So I wrapped it in tin foil. I put it in my freezer. And that was like, it's, that's come closing in on. It's fifth, like 15 to 20 years ago. And I never got rid of the fish. It's still with. I have a, I have a goal for a frozen goalfish in my freezer for over 15 years. That fish is still in my freezer right now. And I moved three times and I took it with me. What? Yes. I had to put them in like on ice and my moving is hard on everyone. I had the fish. Oh my God. I had a dead fish over 15 years in my freezer right now. You know it's in your freezer. No exactly where it is in my freezer. Beautiful. It is. I took it out on hay babe one time. I took it out for the first time. I never unwrapped it in all 15 years. And we opened it on hay babe and it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was a goldfish, but like a lost a lot of its gold. It was like a pale gold. And like the eyes were kind of gone. I guess over time, I guess in the freezer. God takes the gold back or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But what there you are right there. That's COVID. You could tell right? Yeah. Very, very, very rabbinical right there as well, dude. Oh my God, bro. It definitely has like a Michael Jackson tent to it. It's crazy. Did you see that? Yeah. I can see just a little bit of it there. Yeah. Show me that. Do you know? Oh my God. Wow. Yeah. The poor fish. Oh, it's cool. What was its name? I didn't name it. And I, because that was another thing. Every fish I had probably name died. So I called them fish for seven years. Oh, I like that. Yeah. At least like if I you took on a new strategy to keep him alive. Yeah. I was trying everything I could. And we had seven nice years. He used to eat out of my hand. No. Yeah. I don't know if it was really because we had a bond. I think they would just do that anyway. But I like to think it was because we got close. And how do you do it? You put your hand in there. I put my hand right in. I like hold the flake and put it in. And we just come out. You're lying. No, no, I swear. It's really not that big of a deal. I don't think. I think it is. It's like a drive-through for it. I feel like it's like going to the drive. It felt like a trick. It felt like I had a, I had like a, you know how they got a flee circus or something. Yeah. It felt like I had a fish that did tricks. Well, do we have the acrocats, ladies? She came on here one. What is that? This lady she'd been traveling on. Oh, the acrocats. Like 20 years or something. And she's, uh, she should drive the tour bus that the cats ran a tour bus. No. Yes. That the cats ran. And I'm paraphrasing a little bit here. But one of the toughest shows that she had one of the toughest experiences. She's on the road somewhere. Somebody had left the window open, maybe from smoking her cigarette. And tune of the lead cat gets out. No way. Yeah. And she lost the cat. Couldn't find it. No way. And the show must go on to it. She had like three hours before. So like there's another cat. I think it's understudy. Yeah. Tune is understudy. Whatever. I don't even know. You can sell it. Yeah. It was just like Talapia or something was the understudy. Yeah. That's crazy. He's got to come in. And he's always, you know, he's Italian. So he's got to come in doing his Talapia shit. He's big break. Yeah. But they might have taken tune out. She thinks tune. I got away. But they might have been, they might have been foul play there. That's crazy too. Because tune was a star. And once he leaves and he goes into the open road like that, everyone he passes has no idea who he is. And that's a star cat amongst you. It's almost like a story from the Bible when they didn't know who Jesus was. Yeah. You know. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is amazing, bro. Yeah. I wonder what his cloud is like out in the wilderness though. And the father and was like, Oh, shit. That's Tuna. Cut. That's tuna. And that's tuna. Working out on the street. Damn, bro. Tuna out here, bro. Tuna out here. Damn. He real like that. He in the trench is good. Like it's a tuna outside. Tuna got out. But dude, Tuna is not about that life anymore. Tuna is not the last pet you had. You're a pet now? No, you can't have a pet now. No, I never road too much. Yeah. I've never, I plan to get a dog. Yeah. And this has been a slow feeling for me, but I plan to get a dog and maybe a cat if I can get a wife and not if one day I'll get a wife and I'm having a family, but I would like to get a dog in cat. And it doesn't all have to happen together or whatever. Yeah. But I think if, if I don't get married or something, maybe I'll get a dog in cat and maybe something else, I wouldn't mind getting a couple horses probably. Oh wow. You ride horses? I wouldn't ride them, but I would go over by them. Yeah. You go next to them, talk to them. Yeah, there's be like that. Brush them clean them. Let me ask you question. If I see a horse, that's not in the wild. It's got on horseshoes. Every horse in captivity has on horseshoes. That's a good question. Or is it just like parade horses and horses that are like going out on the town or whatever? Right. Not sure. Look it up. That's a great question. This guy I know, Mr. Mike is a farrier. What is a farrier? A farrier is the guy that comes in and puts the shoes on the horse. Oh really? Yeah. That's called a farrier. Trims the toenails and everything. I got stuck on farrier talk for a while and dude half my feet was farrier. No way. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that's what they were called. I thought they were like cobblers or something. No, no, no. I think cobblers is for suing humans and farriers is for suing. I don't know if it's just for animals. No, not all horses need shoes. Whether a horse requires shoes depends on factors like workload, hoof, hoof health, genetics, and terrain. I can see how hoof health would be a factor. I mean, you got to pair a weak hoofs. You need protection. Oh, dude. If my feet are real tender, I want them mitches on. Yeah. Also, you want that Clippity Club. You know, I don't think you I don't know if you get a Clippity Club without the without the shoe. Dude, you telling me a kind of thick like tap dancing a thick horse from Atlanta ain't fucking pulling up with that Clippity. Yeah. Yeah. Type shit. Yeah. Yeah. What about those really? What are the Coca-Cola horses like at Christmas. Crazile. Clides. Clides. Yeah. That's a that's that that's a Clippity Club right there. That horse. You like, dude, when that horse shows up, bro, some people some people salute it. I would salute it. You're like, yeah, that's and that's interesting. How that between man and man. You have confidence in your salute. Yeah, I did I did a show for the Naval Academy recently and they asked me to take a picture of their man's salute and you see salutes in like movies and really in life. But like, I feel like there's a way they do it that like it looks like it's just you just do this. But I don't know if this is right. Like some of them do that or like like is there a proper way to salute? Like are we saluting with the right way right now? Or is it like I got nervous because I was like, I don't want to insult these people in salute the wrong way. Like do you talk your finger in? Like it was like, what are you what are you doing with the salute? And they do it like what you know when someone [BLANK_AUDIO] guys like, oh shit, like it's like super locked in like the Koreans do that. Really like, you know, they do. Yeah. Position of attention. So my hands are to my side. Arms are straight down. When I raise my hand to salute, it's going to be flat. Hands not like, thumbs not tucked underneath my hand. Those like kind of stuff. So we're raising it up. And then because I'm wearing head gear, my index finger is going to come to the edge of my head gear. Arms at a 45 degree angle. Hand slightly canned down, not facing up, not facing down. Just like this. Again, my greeting and then drop my salute. Now, that is how it's like for wearing head gear. If I was wearing something like maybe no head gear or maybe the beret, but because I have glasses, then it has to come to the edge of my glasses. If I was wearing the beret or maybe no head gear. I also don't wear glasses then it comes to the edge of my eyebrows. So it depends. He's like, if you have a scrunchie, you know, whatever. If the scrunchie one's the best, because you put it in the bag, you're like, hey, you're like, yeah, calm. Yeah, I was, I was self conscious. I've always been self conscious about my salute. You ever ride a horse bearback? That's probably fun. That takes skill right there. Somebody around somebody got a horse somehow by us one time when we got on that bitch. Yeah. And we did pretty good. We didn't do good bearback though. Yeah, bearback. We tried to get a saddle or something. Somebody put like a thing like nobody had a saddle. We shouldn't have this horse. They had a corner like a fair that was nearest. And I think when he kind of got away from the fair, somebody brought it down there. Yeah. Being down there drinking with like the car the carnies and stuff the night before. And so they kept it by this dude. Mr. Arnie's house and we went over there and we were all getting on and shit. It was pretty friendly. When I think in hindsight, it could have been really dangerous. I almost died on a horse. You did? Yeah. The class tripping like eighth grade though. They put me on a horse that started like full rodeoing. Who put you on a horse? The dude ranch that we went to for the trip. They put me on a horse and this horse, I'm an eight, I mean, eight, seven, eight grade. I have no horse experience. whatsoever. I get on the horse. The horse is bucking jumping up and down kicking and bucking. And I'm looking around like everyone's there. All the other students are on horses that are just sitting. Right. Like just chilling and then the cowboys are there. And they didn't even react quickly. Like they were like, I was like looking at them and they were looking at me. I would basically like when the rodeo thing opens and the horse is like, oh yeah. That's what this fucking horse was doing. A lot of horses don't, but they don't prefer Italians. I'll say it is. Yeah, and this, you know, whatever. No judgments. A lot of a lot of children don't allergic to Mexicans. Yeah. Yeah. But I got us. Yeah, we got us. We got us. We got us. No, but I remember it wasn't like, you know, like the rodeo rodeo, but it was enough for like an eighth rate to be terrified. And I'm like, looking at these guys like, is anyone going to step in at all? And the guy was just like, and I remember being like, help. I finally just said, help. And then the guy was like, all right, just calm down. I'm like, this is how you treat a 12 year old. You can tell me to calm down. I'm just, I'm going to be thrown from this horse like. And then they got, they got me off that horse. And they gave me the most senior citizen horse they had. Like the back was like slumped in with. Yeah. And then my, I got on that horse. The horse walked up to a tree and started eating the leaves. And then wouldn't, didn't leave. And like everyone went on the trail. And that horse wouldn't leave the tree and just ate the, yeah, and I just stood there on the horse like. Years was like rose Mary or something. It was like, it was like, yeah, glue stick. You just had a broach on. Yeah, but I would never get on a horse bear. Dang, dude. That's wild bro. Yeah, horses, I think they're probably the most, the best animal that we have until we come out with a new animal, like until they catch a dragon or make something. And we did have a neighbor, my friend William had a fish. And I remember it and when it, it died. And they went and buried it at the Long John Silver's and like the flower bed outside of there. I remember. Well, that's an interesting show that restaurant. Yeah, of course, but it's a seafood restaurant, yeah. Yeah, so I mean, like it's a little bit we, like it was like the closest thing I think people thought like. Yeah, it was nice that they had the flower bed. Yeah, like bringing back with this community. Like just outside of the parking mediums, they had a little bit of like kind of semi-design foliage right there. Yeah, that's always nice. A little extra touch. But I remember his dad took us over there and we put that then we put it there and did like a prayer or something. I think we might have saluted too. Yeah, salute that fish. We don't even know. Dude, yeah, you had to salute that thing. You know, shout out LJS, bro. I feel like horses are like, they're on a lot of like romance novel covers, like bearback, bearback horse riding is exotic. I feel like it's also mythological. I think the, the things that will happen to your body, you want to talk about checking yourself for testicular cancer. But like a like a nude woman on a horse bearback. That's a very exotic, right? Yeah, because I think you think of the stallion in like, I'm going to be the stallion. I'm going to sleep with 1,000 and 50 women. Yeah, I would, I would, I would take notice if a, if a woman rode by like Patopolis on the bearback on a horse. I would probably pay attention. I would probably, I would probably follow the part. Because it's very interesting. Yeah, I wouldn't just like let that go by. I'm going to find out what, where this is going to end up. I'd want to see what would happen. Dude, did you see, uh-huh, speaking of mythological things, did you see that Artemis space shuttle went to the moon? Do you think that really happened or not? Let's take a gander at it. I think it happened. It's, I mean, because people are, people are very weary now. Well, first let me start. Do you think the first moon landing happened? I do. Because bring out the shuttle. We're going to the picture of the shuttle. I'm sure you've looked at the shuttle and been like, yeah, but I also like when you look at these things and sometimes I'm like, maybe I can be convinced otherwise. You know what I mean? Like it's crazy that we haven't gone back. We went there now and just, didn't we just drive around it? We didn't get off, right? Yeah, they just went for like a look, see or whatever. Yeah, that's why I would never, ever, ever, no matter what you could do. Say you could, I would never go into space. Never. Which one of the juggers you think would go in a space if they had to go? Probably, Murr. I don't think he has, uh, I don't think he really, uh- Yeah, just saying. He's, he's crazy like that. He's got it. Yeah, he's, he'll, he'd go up there. I wouldn't, but I think that, uh, he's always looking for something new. Mm-hmm, yeah. Imagine what they must have felt. Like I just saw that movie, that new, uh, Ryan Gosling movie. Like it's like, uh, he goes into space. Well, all they do is take beautiful men and put him out in a space, dude. Yeah. A lot of these movies, it's Matt Damon. It's Ryan Gosling. It's, um, Steven Tyler. They just take these good looking guys. And what's his name? Well, well, right, all right. Oh, yeah, Makane went to space. Interstellar, right? That's when you know Hollywood's like, this guy's good-looking enough. We'll take him and show him off to the other planets, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I can't even imagine. Try to pick up a new market, you know? Go out and do it. I mean, I would be, we'll look at that. Terrified, bro. Yeah, I'd be terrified, too, dude. If I went to space in a, uh, lifeguard tower, uh, from Santa Monica Beach. That's it? Yeah. That looks, yeah, look at it. Can you zoom on it? It looks like a toy. Like a transformer or something. Bro. Yeah, that doesn't, that doesn't look like it. I don't have confidence, so come on, dude. That's not even a fucking food truck, bro. That, that looks flimsy, bro. Those little, like, legs and stuff. Like, how do you get up there and be like, "Man, I would feel like the existential threat of the, of the universe on my shoulders." Dude, they put, they didn't even put horseshoes on it, dude. That thing is, look at the legs of it. Can you imagine being up there alone? And, you know, see, this is the thing, too, like, they went up there, they had a couple of looped aloops. But then, that doesn't necessarily mean, like, coming back is hard. Yeah. Like, risky coming back. So, like, you're signing up, I'm sorry. Like, none of those people can say for certainty that they, like, I wonder what the odds were that they could be, it could go south. Yeah. Like, I bet you, it wasn't like 99%. Like, I bet you was like, all right, it's like 70, 30. Like, you might explode on the way home. Right. Well, that's, that's crazy, dude. That's the thing, man. Do you imagine me coming home and see Earth? And you're like, all right, like, and then it goes. Dude, when I was in, when I was a kid, we watched the Challenger live at school. You know, we, we all watched it and we watched it live and it fucking blew up. And it was like, the teacher, everyone just started crying. I was like, we were like, what? Trying to wrap our head around. I was like, third grade. Trying to wrap my head around the fact that, like, there was a school teacher in there. And they just blew up. We remember this on live television? Yeah. That's wild. It was a pet. Wasn't there also a puppy in there? Was there? I thought that they sent a puppy in there. Well, I can't believe that we even did this right now. To me, it just feels like, it's like, it's funny. We can't send help in the Gaza, but we can send the Artemis II to go circle around the moon. Like that to me is like, what do we, what, what was the purpose of the mission? Do you know? It's a great question. Let's look it up. It wasn't just like, and I'm sorry, there was no live animal on the space shuttle Challenger during the final flight in 1986. God bless those people and their families. Yeah, I know, man. Can you imagine? Let's have a moment of that. Can you imagine that like we're sending like, because you could, you could probably get in, like, let me be honest with you. If they pick some people to go to space right now, right? Yeah. And Merget's sick or whatever. Something happened to him. He gets in a box. Yeah, me and me. I wouldn't even go like out of this little, just right above the atmosphere. I wouldn't even do that. I wouldn't do that. Katie Perry went to space. She, I don't know. I read yesterday she went to space. People said that they went to space, but that shit was so, it was very light. Yeah. That was very sketchy like waving at people. There was like friends coming up to the edge. It was like, this isn't a space like that. Would you go? Would you go? I don't know. We're fucking this planted up so much. We don't need to be exporting whatever we're doing right now. I don't need to. I don't believe I, like, we belong on a rocket. Yes, right now. You know what I'm saying? Like, I still, I still, getting more, I'm still getting used to flying. - Yeah, in playing. - Well, do you know what I do think, though? Oh, this is a good question. Let's answer this for people. The Artemis mission are NASA's current program to return humans to the moon and use it as a stepping stone for future trips to Mars. - We're not going to inhabit another planet. - We're not going to. You can't. - But. - So why are we going up there? I guess, you know, I guess we're. - But that's, I don't like that shit. When somebody's like, "Hey, I want to come visit you, "but really, they're just staying overnight "so they can go visit somebody else further away." I don't like some of that shit. I never thought about that. - That's what we're doing. It says carry out the moon to Mars strategy land astronauts on the moon, we're basically using the moon for a place to relax for a little while. Establish a sustainable long-term human presence on the moon rather than just short-term flags and footprints visit like the Apollo dog. Some of this shit, flags and footprints also was the name of the all-male dance team and coming to high school when I was there. - Yeah, that's pretty good. - They were safe champs. - Yeah. - But who's gonna go, okay, let's say, let's say, we get to the point. - All right, we get to the point. - I interrupt you. - No, no, no, no, let's say we get to the point where people are ready to move up there. It's like, okay, how many, who's going up there first with what? What are you going up there with some two-by-fours? Like, you got to build a house. You got to have some type of currency. You got to have like a bank, a restaurant. Like, who's going up there building that stuff? Like, you need enough, and then you need enough people. Like, I don't understand, I don't understand. I don't understand. How many people do you need to inhabit the moon at the exact same time to make it a thing where people live there and go about their daily lives there? Like, what's it going to be like? Or is it just going to be like prehistoric at first? Like, signing up to go up there and live in a tent and like, just live off the land and have no entertainment? Like, what do you mean, like, like that thing they do in the desert every year? What is it? Like, burning man? - Like, burning man? - What, how do you properly inhabit, like, you know, brother, this is for the elites, so. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - This is for the elites, you know, they're not bringing a couple giggle monkeys like us up there. This is for the elites. I think this is like, they're planning to do like, like they can't do an Epstein's Island anymore. I think you're looking for like Epstein's orb, you know? We're going to find a place where we can really be nasty out here. - Yeah, it's like maritime law out there. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, you're in the international war, right? - You're in the international air. - Yeah. - So I think that, like, I don't know, there is a big part of me dude that, and I really, there's a big part of me that questions this. Doesn't believe any questions it. Like, you don't think we went? - I don't know if we went. I do believe in one they're trying to distract us from a lot of the horrible things that are going on in the world right now that we're a part of. - Sure. - So I do think that there's some of that because there's a lot of these weird things. Like, one lady's mother gets kidnapped, they can't find her, you know? But they can tell you where your door dash order is missing and where it's been or whatever. - Right, right. - But you can't find one lady. - That's wild, that she's still. - Yeah, but she disappears from a porch, you got nothing. - Right, right, but we're gonna move to the moon. - Right, yeah. - But we're gonna move to the moon. Yeah, I think there's like, some of it's that. It's like, oh, we need a trip to the moon. That'll get people excited. Like, something to distract us. - The pictures look crazy though. You show the pictures of us. - Yup, I have seen them bring some of them up. - That's wild, it's wild. It's like, but I think, yeah, it could be that, maybe something is, do you ever start to worry that something is gonna happen to Earth and that that's why there's like, I mean, 'cause it's kind of, it seems like a weird time to send some people out to look at the moon. Do you agree? - I think anytime, I don't know if there's ever a right time. I mean, I guess I agree with you. I'm always thinking something's gonna happen. - I think maybe right after Christmas or something, you said that. - Yeah, yeah. - They always have those things where it's like, those predictions from like Aristotle, like it was, it's like, you know, or they're like, they predicted it in the field. - It was like a novice? - No, it was a novice, yeah. And it's like, have they come true? - That's a good question, dude. Oh, these are some of the photos. I mean, bro, it's pretty wild that we're out here like that. And dude, you're telling me this shit, hold on. You're telling me, the best we can do is some guy takes this with his thumb in front of the thing. (laughing) That's the kind of shit that makes me feel like, I know it makes me breathe. - I would have deleted that one. I would have deleted that one, you know what I'm saying? (laughing) - Yeah, man, I can't imagine seeing that with my own eyes though. That's wild. - And then the moon, bro, that bitch is viby though. She's mixed. - Yeah. - She's mixed for sure, dude. Oh, look at that. I don't know, dude. I don't, I mean, I think I'm, I think I want to live there. It's just, I don't know. It looks like, I don't know. Maybe I would do zero gravity. Like you ever do that floating around like the space. - No, I've never done it to you. - No, my buddy did it, he said it's, it's one of the craziest things he's ever felt in his life. I'm just flying, just flying in this arena. Like if you just stood up and pushed, if you pushed yourself off the chair and just, you started floating over there. - That's what I'm like that. - That's gotta be what? - Beep, beep, beep. - As long as I make that sound while I float it, I don't make that sound, bro, I don't believe it. - I want to do that, I would really want to do that. Like to at least feel that sensation. - I wonder, dude, I can't even imagine like some of the, like imagine like you're the children and this is kind of sad, but I don't mean it in like a real sad way. I guess I just mean it in some curiosity of emotion. Like your parent or your brother or something is like going up to the moon at that time, 'cause the challenger like, was it headed to the moon? That's a great question, huh? Where was it headed? - I feel like yes, 'cause where else would it be going? - Bro, they were blasting people out in a whatever. It was like, you know, they were just, they were just trying to get like shoot extra scenes for air butt up there, they were going to the moon. The space shuttle was on the low earth orbit space truck and did not have the engine power fuel capacity to reach the moon. No, the challenger was not headed to the moon. The shuttle was in the tragically ined in a disaster was scheduled for a six day mission in orbit around Earth to deploy a communications satellite and study Haley's comet. - Okay. - Wow. - Imagine how excited you must have been. I wonder if they were scared before. Is there any interviews of those people right before they left? - Not geez, yeah. - Just to also kind of honor them a little bit. What, they did that happen as well, Trevor, do you know? - 80, I feel like it was like mid 86. - Wow. - 86, we're coming up on a 40 year anniversary of it. - First ordinary citizen, I mean, are you expected to be the ordinary speaker who's out there? - That was a year after Amy and Stu Shackling got married. - That was what? - Two months after Amy and Stu Shackling got married. (laughing) - Okay, this is Chris, Krista, McAuliffe. - The teaching profession in students and the whole country is really going to benefit from this. We hopefully are going to know an awful lot more about what life is like aboard the shuttle. - Cold coffee, something she's from Rhode Island. A little bit, where was she from? - Yeah, you were right. - Pretty close. - Isn't that close? That's really close. - Yeah. - Still close. - Close enough. - Yeah, Rhode Island, it's right there. - She reminded the lady, it was like cold coffee, ice coffee, you seen that lady? I think we talked about this before you haven't. Bring up the lady at the Dunkin' Donuts that burned down. Sorry. This is the problem with the internet, dude. We're trying to pay homage or homage to Krista McAuliffe. And then bring up that, yeah, Dunkin' Donuts. (laughing) Did you see this, you have it? With my boy Dutch, did you get ever seen this? No, this is Jill on this. I gotta tell the lore of it. Jim Norton put us on this. And this is carried on now for almost 10 years. When a Dunkin' Donuts burned down in Shemokin. - Coffee shop in Shemokin is closed, following an arson over the weekend. Police say a teenager is responsible for all that damage. He's watched 16th's Nikki cries, joined to slide from the Central Pennsylvania Newsroom with more tonight, Nikki. - Julie, a lot of people in Shemokin are upset that Dunkin' Donuts is closed because they didn't have anywhere else to go for coffee and donuts. Today, we also learn new information about the teenage sort of least charged with setting the place on fire. Yellow tape surrounds the Dunkin' Donuts on West Sunbury Street in Shemokin. The popular donut shop is closed until further notice because of extensive fire damage. - There's a lot of people that's definitely gonna miss it. No doubt about it. - A teenager is charged with starting a fire inside the restaurant on Saturday night. Shemokin police officer, Ray Psycho says no one will turn. - Ray Psycho? - But the place has extensive damage. Psycho says the fire started inside the women's bathroom. The toilet paper dispenser was lit on fire and within about a minute, the entire place was filled up with smoke. - It feels fake. - Mother didn't explain that. She's recently been put on new medication. - Ray Psycho says for what reason? - You would like a side. - A 13-year-old who admitted to setting the fire is currently at a juvenile detention center. - She's showing blurred picture of people who live in Shemokin are upset that Dunkin' Donuts is closed. - Now I have to rely on myself to go to maybe a turkey hill or something where I don't like their donuts. - 'Cause I rather the donuts at Dunkin' Donuts. (laughing) - I'm dealing with it, but I really miss Dunkin' Donuts. (laughing) - Oh, this guy's the best of white. Then my boy Dutch Smith right here, bro. - Chicken Baker Cresson, I get some coffee, power rate, if I'm dehydrated. I sit there all the time. If I have any like legal work that I need to do, I go there. - What work? - I need my attorneys there. - Legal work, can you say legal work? - I sit there all the time. If I have any like legal work that I need to do, do I go there I meet with my attorneys there this is a lady and Jim Norton dressed up like this lady for how long did he have one year which is the best thing I've ever seen I hope he does it again allegedly and but let's let's start the beginning of her again I'm gonna miss that place want it if they don't open up and my friends go in there get the cold coffee coffee I guess it's called people miss there yeah there you go oh my gosh dude but when she said coffee you're reminding me a little bit of of my comments of this yeah oh and go look at the comments on there's there any great comments on their Google reviews has got to be oh so funny went for a donut place burned down no I said that no no I'm saying two stars here we go not open due to being set on fire but other but otherwise a classy place to hydrate or so I'm told that's Nicholas sority right there now I have to rely on myself to go to maybe a turkey hill where I don't like their donnets or I'd rather the donnets at Dunkin Donnets and I'm kind of dealing with it but I really miss Dunkin Donnets shout out feel like swept out so it's a bastard dude you said air bud before it made me think like there was so many dog movies when I was growing up so many dog celebrities right there was like 1010 right yeah the chew out with the you know the are there any more talk about you all yeah what happened to remember the time I was made again the talk about you all you don't remember I remember my front of my turn and hooch dude what happened to dog Hollywood what happened to dog Hollywood oh that's a classy Benji Kujo Clifford Airbud Craig Spud's McKenzie it was all these dogs like big big dog personnel yes heathcliff Snoopy Snoopy uh uh uh uh uh this is the other one yeah there's more there's more all dogs good at heaven there was a lot of turner and hooch runner and hooch um but I'm saying like they were like big bankable dog stars right you know you don't see that much anymore that's a great point yeah wonder what happened why are there no more animal stars in Hollywood yeah animal stars are disappearing from Hollywood primarily due to the rise of sophisticated CGI and AI I don't know if I feel like that's true though yeah I mean yeah because it's not the same you don't need to you know what I mean right people know the love of a dog they want that yeah you can't replace it right yeah I think I think we're primed and ready for our next big dog star pro I think where he would go on it I was Airbud still doing is Airbud still doing it I don't know I know I read the other day that they're gonna get uh that some dogs now live longer based on some new medicines that they're giving them they can live a lot longer really and some people are happy about it and some people apparently were not they're only expecting their dog to live for so long well that's I want a dog but I can't get one right now I got to wait so like I stopped touring so much in the kids look but like I want a dog but one of the reasons I'm hesitant is because like you're really signing yourself up for a heartache in like 10 to 12 years or something you know like my dogs all died eight years 10 years 12 years 14 years oh yeah I mean if they if that's a real thing like are they giving their medicine or whatever that live longer yeah I'll buy into that yeah we looked that up for me um hamsters and grandparents so it's like how children learn about about death a lot of times you know oh yeah yeah yeah it's like you need that elements to teach your kid to give you as kid uh you know a gateway to death or what I like a way to see it but they had sounder that was a huge movie remember that they had old Yeller old Yeller that's another one that was a huge movie yes that was a huge movie yeah that was massive that was back in the like little prairie house in the prairie times a San Francisco biotech company loyal is developing drugs aimed at extending dogs healthy life spans by lowering high levels of the hormone IGF one which accelerates aging in larger dogs leading candidates including the daily pill uh their leading candidates including the daily pill L.O.Y. O.O. two the drugs work by reducing levels of insulin like growth factor one a hormone that drives rapid growth in young dogs but contributes to faster aging and shorter lifespan in larger mature dogs I thought you I thought you'd be asking me oh no I just saw some yeah information about this the other day that was really interesting um what else was in the news I was something that was kind of worth discussing I don't know if we want to go down too many heavy roads oh has there been something your children have wanted to ask for uh that you had to say no like or is there like like a tough parenting thing that you kind of like yeah just tell me what some of that's like give me something from like the parenting world because I'm just curious about it yeah my my daughter went through a sleep regression recently so like sleep what regression okay so like she sleeps with night fine but they don't you know they start developing their brain starts developing they start having dreams and you know and they get a little more like they start to understand stuff more so like we'd watch like home alone all the time right she loves home alone and she just saw the face value she loved it she knew what was going on like she was two but she like got everything she got a little older and then she started then I don't know where even though she watched home alone like 50 time she like started to get scared from it uh from Marvin Harry yeah right so one day like she kept she kept saying like in the car she's like dad a Marvin Harry following us like I don't know where one day and I'm like no they're not they're not they're all Marvin Harry after us oh I see they're not after us at all they're after Kevin's toys so I'm trying to make it you know all right but are they gonna come for me I'm like no Marvin Harry are fun they just have to Kevin's toys Kevin's gonna put him through the ringer it's all good and then like in the middle of the night she's like dad dad I'm scared because there's an outcome and she's like I'm Marvin Harry coming in I'm like my wife's like you shouldn't have made her watch home alone I'm like she loved it it wasn't until recently that she started getting scared you know what I mean but she'll call and be like so you can't go up there you have to go up there like this is what got really hard like going up there like they're always testing the limits of what they can control and not control and pushing boundaries so that's the whole few years is like they're pushing boundaries so they try to see what they can get over on you like so if you if they want you to come upstairs and they cry and that brings you upstairs they know that they can get you upstairs every time you have to break that habit you have to like so so there's times whereas like she's like crying and I'm like dad please come upstairs and I'm like downstairs and like you can't you can't go up you know and it's the worst feeling because you want to run it's then she's like but you know it's a trap it's a trap but like but also she's cunning like she'll she's she'll say shit like she knows you're gonna tug at my heartstrings I'd have to ignore her crime and she'll start saying so like dad please dad I need you I miss you like you know right the ship is leaving the shore just things that she's seen and you're like I'm like literally like a downstairs like she doesn't see me but I'm like right under the door me and my wife is sitting there and I'm just like I got tears in my eyes I'm just like I need to go you know you can it's tough it's tough so parenting us so yeah you got to really like I guess you have to be the day you have to sometimes you have to be the leader huh and sometimes you do you want to just be the the the buddy I want them to be able to like they want to sleep should like please can I come sleep with you guys I want it I want it to do that so bad but like we can't do it because like it opens up you know like then it's like you know oh yeah but some I know families that sleep that all the kids sleep in the bed and that's that but like you know it could be tough like if you have work and travel a lot and stuff like that yeah so if you're not a little house in the prairie then that's kind of like back then yeah you need it for warmth and stuff and it's like that yeah but I want to do it but I I so far we haven't done it because I just feel like I don't want to start bad habits you know but and is it tough with like you with your wife you have to do debate on what a good habits and bad like is it is it or do you guys computing I want the same page it's pretty it's pretty straightforward you know like but yeah it's you gonna you you want kids yeah yeah we talk about something you should have kids yeah I mean if you want them if you do like if you if you want kids have kids you know like I think I mean I think the most you can get to is like I think I want them I really like nobody's like if you're like yelling in the park whatever I want kids you're gonna get elected but if you're just like yeah but so I think the safest thing I say yeah I think I really like to have kids I have to have a spouse that is like we can go down that road together um and then you know some of it I think it's like if that's going to be part of God if God wants that for me in my life you know and if I'm willing to set my life up enough where it's a possibility because God I don't think he would he would bless me with children if it wasn't like a safe as environment either you know sure I think you should do it I always tell you that but yeah I would like to how I think more and more I would like to have that yeah you know I would like to have the chance to love something that's different and have like a new different type of like connection in the world you know just to experience what connections there are because um it's I'm sure it's like totally different I mean last year me here you were saying just how different it is yeah yeah yeah you got to do it you got to do it especially if you want them because it's not it's there's nothing better you'll be you'll feel so fulfilled man yeah yeah you'll feel so fulfilled and I want probably six or five kids bro I know I that's it's like when you start having you see or yeah you'll see like you won't you want as many as possible that's why people just keep having them two than the old days man people have them with reckless abandon bro people would have a kid they'd be like oh - Oh, we're like kids. They'd be at the store, they would leave a kid. They'd have to come back A, we left a kid in your shell for whatever. - Yeah, yeah. - Some kids in the freezer, we just like, yeah. - People used to have kids back in the day, so many kids that like, some of them were just like, - Parish. - Parish, and then they were just like, "I, we lost a couple of them." - Yeah, you know. - Albert stayed in. - They'd still have 10 of them, but we lost a couple. - Yeah, Albert stayed in Mancado, we had seen, you know. - Yeah, he stayed around it off, and we hope he's all right. - I know he wanted it off from Rochester. - Yeah, look at it, bag of food with them, you know, you're like, "How do you, right?" - I don't know how you focus on, how many cylinders you are. - I just had one, two, three, four, three total. - Okay. - What do you have? - Besides me, three. - Yeah. - That's a fun amount. - Yeah, you show your family, you're at four of you guys so together, that's it. - Yeah, yeah. - If you could go back and be a kid, what's one moment you would go back to in your child? Like, was it like a birthday party or a time, or like, it could just be a general, you don't have to be specific either. - Yeah. - Like, what was like the funnest holiday you guys had or something? Was there one that was just going on? - My grandma, my grandma was a host Christmas, and like, all the cousins would come over. And that was fun, 'cause she had like, his really old house. That was a two family with a big basement and a big old attic. - Yeah. - And we always to go up in the attic and cause like, high jinks and hide and shit. And like, I just sort of, like that, those days were the best days. Well, you could just like, run around the house, play and hide and seek and like, feel like it was the best thing that ever happened to you. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Just, not all this bullshit, like you didn't know anything yet. It was just about playing, hanging out, you know? - I know. I had to, yeah, it seemed like it should be able to be such a simpler world, doesn't it? That's the thing that I think gets me a lot. It's like, go hang out in the woods. - Yeah. - Like, like, when I was young, it was like, it was so much less, like, underdeveloped. - Oh, yeah. - Like, woods everywhere. - Lots of woods everywhere. - Oh, it was Native American shit. You'd have a guy that chiseled a fucking couple tits into a, you know, into a birch tree or whatever. You'd have somebody, you know, there was like, a grave somewhere. - She's like a couple of tits in the birch tree. - And just buried somebody. Like, the woods used to be crazy, bro, 'cause you'd see some guy been living there. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah. - There would be some pornography or whatever. - Pornography, yeah, always. - Somebody buried pornography, but they, you know, they'd draw like an arrow. It's like, yeah. - Yeah. - So they didn't forget what it was. - Like, dude, that's where I saw my first porn that was in the woods. - Oh, everybody, which is crazy, bro. You're right there with nature, dude. Oh, dude, I remember the first time I masturbated, bro. I didn't even know what was gonna happen with like your body. - Where are you? - And I remember, like, something kind of, like, kind of came outside of my body. And I remember trying to put it back into my penis with my finger. - Yeah. - And I heard my mom, like, downstairs and I was like, trying to get it all back in. - Before shit, yeah. - Oh. (laughing) So yeah, I was like, yeah. So obviously, yeah, I had a lot of intimacy issues over the years, bro. Well, let's get this question. Let's get this answer in, dude, early 1800s. Let me see, over the past three centuries, the average number of children per women in most of the world is decline sharply. Roughly from five to seven kids per woman in their early 1800s to 2.25 per kids per woman today in many countries. - I think it's even less than that now. - Yeah. - I think I've read some of the way it's like, people are having the least amount of kids that in history right now. - Maybe there'll be a rebirth of it, you know? Maybe there'll be something new that happens. Do you feel like, I feel like, you know, I didn't want to get into like, import like heavy stuff today, but there's just like, it feels like it's a tough time in the world for a lot of people. - Did you imagine like, Octo mom? You like, you have eight babies in your stomach? You get, you get birth to eight babies at the same exact time? - Oh, that's dark shit. Look at that thing she had on her bro. It's like whenever you ever see that spider that's got the big thing on it, like it's pregnant. - Yeah, that's wild bro. Imagine you have no kids and then you have eight kids. - Yeah. - I think she already has like five kids. - Oh my God, are you serious? - Yeah, just watch the documentary on it. - How do you, how do you give the time you need to each of these kids? Yo, what do you do when you, you want people like, like, guess what? Twins and they're like, oh my God, two, how are we gonna do this? - Like eight, bro, eight. - How do you even, how do you even, what's the first thing you do when there's eight, there's eight, two day old babies. - What's the first thing? - They're like tomogotches. Like you literally just have to like, - Check the batteries on all of them? - Holy shit. - Dude, get you some ice coffee, cold coffee, ice coffee. - You have a tomogot, you have a tomogotchi? - No, I never have one. - Do you remember that? - Oh, I do remember them. And it didn't hit us super hard. - Yeah, I was a little dude. - We weren't in like a lot of the Asian kind of stuff that much. We was like doing whole coke and type of shit. Dude, I remember I had to do a roast of this, of the Nadiya Suleiman, who is the Okta mom. - Did you have to? - Who had eight children, who was kind of a celebrity for a while, was it, or not a celebrity? I mean, everybody's kind of a celebrity these days, but she was like kind of in the limelight or whatever, you know? For that. - You roasted her? - We had a roasted, and dude, I remember I got there, and I thought it'd be fun and everything, and you get there and you're like, oh, this feels. There's part of it that feels really mean. - Oh, really? Do you mind minding the jokes? - I mean, they were eat, I mean, some of them were probably good, and some were probably not good. What's in there, was she being, why was she being roast? - It was just a, it was the Ha Ha comedy cafe over there in a, yeah, in Burbank, or it's kind of off of Burbank, it's off Langer's from I think, but yeah, Jack Jr., his family over there at their club, it's a great spot. - Yeah, I've done some stuff. - Yeah, and so, but they had the roast of her there, and it was just other people were on the day, as to the docket or whatever, and it was just like, it was interesting, it was fun. - Yeah. - But it was also like, there was a mummy like, "Oh, this is me," 'cause they're sitting right there, and you think like, "The kids were there?" (all laughing) - Bro, it's like eight kids just staring at you, rip on them. (all laughing) - That would be crazy, bro. - She was there, but it was just kind of a lot, bro, and I couldn't tell if she was trying to flirt or whatever, and I was like, "I'm getting outta here, you know?" - Yeah, you can't even, you need to wear two condoms. - Oh, I wouldn't even sneeze. - That's a bit. - You got, yeah, you can't even sneeze. I wouldn't even let an eyelash fall on her right there. - The next thing you know it, you have eight children. - Oh, and blessings to her children. Let's get a gander out of them. I won't want to see them. And who knows, now she, you know, I can't imagine what that's like, no way. Updated, look at that. - Oh, is that them now? - They all look like, wow, they look healthy and good. - Yeah, they look like they all, like they look like they weren't one of eight. - Yeah. - They look like they were their own. - Imagine how that's gotta be to break out of like, you know, well, I mean, how much could they have weighed when they were born? Yeah, you got eight kids in there. - You got eight kids, I probably, I would guess, how much they weighed? Let's guess and we'll, and we'll wage, whoever wins. - What's the price? - I don't know, do something for like moon research or whatever. $30 towards moon research. - Turn towards moon research? - Yeah. - I'd say it's probably gonna end up just somehow going to Israel, but we'll just, we'll call it moon research. - I think, you got times eight, if there are five, there's no way she can be used. - This is a good game show question. - Yeah, it is, right? There's no way she can be walking around with the average kid when they're born, it's like six, seven pounds, right? So there's no way she's walking around with 50 pounds of kids in there. - Right, yeah, that's, that's a lot. Now look at the, you can get a gander at her right there when she got that front really launched. And that thing. - Yeah, yeah. - It's crazy, so I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say they were about, they got about three and a half pounds each, something like that. - Okay, you're going three and a half. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, yeah, three point one five. - That's still crazy, that's still 20 something pounds a kid in there. - Oh, you're right, you're right, yeah. That's crazy. - But they can't be much less than three pounds. - I'm going two point two. - All right, two point two, which means for eight kids, she was still calling around 17 pounds. - Yeah, 17 pounds a day. - 17, but that's a, two point two was a small kid. - Well, does it, can we find out? - 3.4. - Oh, no way. - The Suleiman octop, octop pulitz. - Before, octop pulitz. - Octop pulitz. Born on January 26th, 2009, weighed between one pound, eight ounces, and three pounds, four ounces. Oh, so some of them, that's doubled the other kid. - Yeah. - One pound eight ounce kid is wild, bro. That's wild. When were they born? 2009? - That's about 24 years after this emean stew shangreen got married. (laughing) - Hey. - Yeah, we got one of the shanglims. And we wish them many, million more years. If you ever get to meet with them, man, I want to see the tape of you guys meeting up together. So you got Manouche, your new show. - Manouche's new show and a foul play. - Fowl play is on the TVS because we can check it out with Anthony Davis. And he's in every episode? - Yeah. - Okay, great. - He's in every episode and all of the athletes and stars and stuff like that. And yeah, Montor, saddlecannoncomedy.com for tickets. Got up to June announced, but I'm gonna be doing all of Canada in October and then I'm gonna be doing UK and Europe in 27. Yeah, yeah. And then probably come back around and get the last few cities I haven't gotten to here, maybe film this next special, maybe in Boston or something like that. - I love Boston. - Yeah. - Do you think your family will go hit the road with you? - I'm gonna try to maybe take them out to the UK. - Yeah. - Yeah, visit Aurea out there and stuff. - Oh, yeah. - So that should be fun. And then, yeah, and then what else? I guess yeah, the Jokers will be out. Start in July, it'll be season 13. It's crazy. - Well, you guys can find everything. We'll share all the links, man. And we'll share everything for you, dude. And so thanks for coming and just spending time with us. And of course, thanks for having me, I love you. - It's kind of cool, I love you too, man. And thanks for just telling us about the shankmans and just. Let's find them. I can't wait. Yeah. I got to look. You're going to help me find them. Amy and Stu. The shankmans. They're looking for you. All right. Blessings, bro. Thank you so much. I got it, baby. Now I'm just floating on the breeze. And I feel I'm floating like these leaves. I must be cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind. Wow, I can feel it in my bones. But it's going to take.