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All that and more available at TheoVonStore.com, I hope everyone is having a good day and thank you for your support. Today's guest is a stand-up comedian. He's one half of the Matt and Shane's secret podcast. He's the shaman. He is. He's on a higher frequency. He operates in a special realm. And he's on the road soon. So if you get a chance, I recommend that you go see him. If you even get to spend time with this guy, it's a smart choice. I'm thankful to be able to do that today. My guest is Mr. Matt McCusker. There you go, look at that, beautiful. That was crap out of my pockets. Oh, dude, that's one thing. Oh, how much shit do guys start, and I'm a guy, and it's like, the shit we start to have in our pockets. Look at that. You have glass around the neck, I have the phone, phone wallet keys, I need an upper, I need a downer. You need a little nigga, you got PC powders, you're fucking, we need pocketbooks, dude. Some guys have already adopted pocketbook technology. We need, we need all just a minute. Guys, the purse, whatever. Pocketbook. Oh, that thing. Do you have that fanny pack that you wear around their heart or whatever? Yeah. They're satchel. That's a weird one though, like the fanny pack on the heart, that guy's always like what's going on here. I think you, I think you have to like, if you're going to have one, you have to have a gun in there just so you can maintain, you know what I mean, but one of those little guns or whatever. Yeah, I think a tiny like James Bond, like a little 38, a little snub. I'd be nice. Say good to see you, dude. Oh, pleasure to see you, man. Yeah. Congrats on everything, bro. Thank you, man. Yeah. You guys has podcasted this question and you're on tour right now, too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got to wear my going. I'm going to, I know I have phoenix. Phoenix is haunting me. I don't know what's up with the city of Phoenix. I got to do the celebrity theater. So it's like the little one in the round. Yeah. I hope that's full. Otherwise we're going to have like a semi-circle. It's going to be, that'll be pretty bad. I couldn't do the ramp. If I couldn't do the ramp, I can only do like 270 degrees, just you. So yeah. I get the phoenix and go for support that one guys in Phoenix. Yeah, man. And then everywhere else. But yeah, man, I've been good, man. It's shown. Yeah. Pull up that stage just so we have them, please. Yes. Thank you. Oh, there we go. There we go. There we go. Same Paul. Yeah. Where are you at in this thing? I'm towards the end. I'm at the bottom half of the bottom, like quarter here. Okay. Paul Desmoyne's Phoenix Tucson, Toronto and Chicago. Oh, yeah. You got Desmoyne's. You got Desmoyne's obviously a black guy. Desmoyne's just saying that to you. But there's not a lot of America. You expect to see him when you get there. Desmoyne's, I think you've been at jelly. Yeah. Well, I've got to pee about it. At jelly. Yeah. Desmoyne, please. Ah, those two. Tucson, bro. Tucson's huge. It's a big place to get some coral. What's that blue core? That rock, it's a lot of older room, where the silver and the, what? Coral. Is it good for like, like a magnetic bracelet you're talking about? Yeah. Something like that. A lot of people. A lot of people with a lot of copper and all. Bull, whatever. Okay. What's the blue stone? Yeah. It's a lot of that shit out there. A lot of people missing arms. Oh, okay. It's like the mystical end of Arizona. There's like the. Yes. It's up to here. Marazones. And there's like, yeah, I got you. It's summoned country. Do you think those would be your vibes over there? Yeah. I've never been to Tucson yet. Phoenix. I'm telling you, I like Phoenix. It's just, I don't know. It's always, it's always. There's always cities I have that take it's go great. There's other cities where they're like a slog. Yeah. Phoenix tradition. It's just like historically. It's been a slog. Hmm. It's okay. I just accept it. It is what it is. It's just Phoenix. That's my Phoenix experience. Yeah. So. Dang, dude. Yeah. Everybody sell tickets in Puerto Rico, I noticed. Really? Yeah. I'm like PR. That kind of surprises me, honest. I feel like you would rock the PR ticket market. Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of me too. The boletas. Yeah. Dude. Great to see you, bro. What's proud? What's new right now in your world, man? Dude, I, the only thing I can even, it's boring, but it's just gardening. I've been gardening non-stop. I got ahead of it this year or last year. I got a planet when it was already too hot, everything got scorched, so yeah, I got some blackberries and raspberries and waiting on, so really, yeah, I've been a big, I've been, I've been big on that, man, trying to grow stuff. I got garlic coming, so. So blackberries and garlic, and this is all in your own y'all. Oh, sure. That's my garden. Yeah. That's, it's been revamped. The Hellstorm destroyed my blueberry bushes. Yeah, it's in my life like a little backyard, but you're making the most out of it. Now, can you feed your family here, man? No. Dude, it's so sad. So that's a blueberry bush. It got destroyed in the Hellstorm. Everyone's coming back to life as well, and is there any reward from the, like, the government subsidized this kind of shit or whatever? I should get it. I should get some sort of subsidy, but there we had a blueberry bush and we had a produced one, literally one blueberry. The first time I did it, and me and my whole family cut it into four, I mean, each had a fourth of the blueberry. We would be dead. If I actually had a farm, we would all be dead. I've gotten like five radishes, one blueberry, and the raspberries were flowing, man, and then just the Hellstorm wiped, it was completely wiped me out, so. And was there stuff you could have done in advance to prepare for that? Because I mean, and do the, does it feel like the plants look to you for like the leadership or you don't feel that at all? I never had a garden yet. Yeah. So here's the thing. You can be like that. There's a lot of doding mother-type gardeners. I'm a stern father. If you can't pull your own, you die. I need, I need producers. I need people who are going to adapt to the elements, like, I'm not going to baby any of these plants. Like Stalin. Yeah. Completely. It's a completely totalitarian system. My wife's like, well, bring that one in. I'm like, if I can't handle the sun, it's dead. Yeah. I'm someone who can't handle the sun. I'm not out here baby in these plants where I got, I have kids. I'm not worried about a plant. Yeah. I'm going to see her cry about a beanstalk. It's dead. Pull it out. Yeah. Throw it in the compost. Next. So I run a ruthless guard. It's completely ruthless. I had a rat that just died. Did you fuck him? I did. He was, that's the thing with gardening. It does kind of connect you to like a real life or death thing because it's like, I don't want to kill. I don't want to kill an animal. But then it starts eating like, you know, starts just munching all your leafy greens and you're like, not about to grow food for a rat. That's bullshit. So then like, I had a guy come out and the guy gave, it was like an exterminator. And this stuff he gave it, if he's like, do this stuff's the real deal, don't let your dogs get it. Because my dog had eaten rat poison once. No problem. Survived. And I was like, yeah, I hope you all right. He's like, no, this shit is like fiberglass in it. So when the rat eats the poison, the fiberglass cuts his lungs and he starts like drowning in his own blood. Who created this? Get in the eye. Yeah. I think so. I'm just fucking. He's the same stuff they were putting in a Palestinian's food that they were giving him, which is fucking heartbreaking. I was a fair point, but the, and why are they trying to kill him so hard? Like, I do. Well, they just like, that's their job, man, they're like, because if they, if they have step it and you still have rats, you're going to call them all pissed off. So like, the poison messes them up, but the, the, like fiberglass or whatever, really make sure they die no matter what. And also rats won't die around the colony. They'll like a dog. They'll run off and find solitude and die. And we got rid of this chair recently. So we like, you know, it was like hogging up the space in our backyard and we, when you lifted it up, there was a dead rat, one of the dead rats back there, they've been laying there so long. I picked it up. Dude, it, it's face was gone. It like really, like kind of fucked me up. Like, it was yesterday. I picked it up. I had like, you know, two sticks put together and I was like, this thing's been sitting for all. Let me peep its face to just avoid where its face was just like things ate its face. Yeah. It never works face was. And I was like, damn, it was fucked me up. Fuck your living in it. Damn, saw it. I was so good with it. It was gardening. It's crazy. Where are you gardening at? Just like backyard. Translating it, dude. It just sounds insane. Gruff. Gardening is crazy, though, because you get like, you have little spider allies. I see my spider. My orb weavers in my garden. I kind of, they're like, they're on my team fighting the bugs, the rats. I'm trying to fight the rats, but we got them, I think, under control. How did you know that you were having issues with, uh, with the rats? I'd see them fight right in my face, just munching my, I'd like open the door and I'd just be munching my shit. Oh, yeah. We ball see. I'd be like, what the fuck? They are kind of cute, though. They're called cotton rats, so they're these big guys and they have these like, so they have these.
really furry coats. I kind of like them, but then they started shitting in my grill and I was like, "We're done." Yeah, they honestly, I would have tolerated them, but they completely over-push, over-step their boundaries. There we go. That dude, there he is, that's exact guy. Imagine one of those guys, no face, hole for a face. Zoom in on him. Look at that little guy, a little fat, little hearing guy. Look like gerbos almost. Yes, that little floor bear. Yeah, look, he's munching on somebody's fucking herbs right now. When a guy's a little macnugged, they're not thick, huh? They're thick as hell. They had a burrow underneath my little porch in the back of my garden, and also people were like, "Oh, there's dumb kayain peppers, all this." Dude, I dumped like, I got like four pounds of red pepper flakes, just a little lace the whole garden. Dude, that guy was just sitting in a bed of it. I'm like, man, get out of here with this bullshit. Give me the fiberglass poison. There's always all those tricks, dude. If you'll siphon some piss out of a senior citizen or something and get it out there. Yeah, rub a baby's ass on those fucking spare rails or whatever, nobody will fall down it. Yeah, nobody will get hurt again. Doesn't work, it doesn't work. The exterminators come, not even the home depot. I don't want to mess up home depot. No, let's get rid of them. That shit, none of that stuff works. You need a professional exterminator and they have like, like, doctor evil weapons. That's the only thing to get some. Well, did you get one of those guys who comes and he's tatted and he's like, has all this like AA years of recovery fucking medallions around his neck and he's like, really, that's what you want. Yeah, but this guy's pretty chill. He's pretty clean, but he, uh, you can tell he's been around, he's been around the stuff for a while. The other guy know got bit by a rattlesake. Literally got bitty drove himself to the hospital. Fuck yeah. That's boss shit. Bro, it's crazy. I get nothing but love for exterminators. Do you ever have like a horrible infestation of any kind? Just these hoes? True. Yeah, basically. That's how I was just making a meme flip. That was basically just so. Uh, I need a strong hand for that. But no, I'd never had anything like that. You know, I actually, you know what? Break up with some of these exterminators first. I want to see some of these. Yeah, let's, that good call. Let's get a gander at some of these America's top 10 most extreme exterminators, including women. There we go. A lot of these bitches will kill anything they go around. There we go. Look at that guy. Look at extreme. Yeah. Look at that fucking guy right there. Sandblast to go on. Yeah, they're giving, this is, I need to see the real guys. This is the fucking, uh, it's like the stock footage. Yeah, it's all team moves. Shit, man. Yeah. No, that's none of the exterminators look like these guys. These are male models. Yeah. I mean, there's Billy the exterminator. There's that guy and he passed away. Did he really? Yeah. It dude. Sure. She'll fly on those guys. I mean, you're, you're literally dealing in poison. You're out there to fucking spraying glyphosate on everything. You're out there fucking those, those bug bombs, they, what they do is they inhibit, um, reproductive system. So like, what like I had fleas and I had to do a bug bomb. The home depot was bullshit. So I got the real guy, he came out and, uh, when I did the first one, I lit it all, like, you know, you pull the thing and it's supposed to give you 10 seconds. It just exploded in my face. So I just got drenched in the shit and had a run outside. You get it. The fourth of July plays are working. They put those things in the gathering. Yeah. Through they, they just, they, you can't reproduce. So it just, like, scorches, bug genitals. And then they just, just sit, have to watch like the apocalypse. There's, there's, there's like colony of them. Is this Palantir online? Where are you? I just can't believe you're involved in all this, dude. And you're children of what's sleeping inside. Why came in from like talking to the exterminator and I'm like, bro, this rap boys is crazy. I didn't forgot my two daughters were there. And I'm like, yeah, there's little mice and they like watch it play. And they're all the mouse is back. I'm like, what it does is it, it cuts their lungs and they drown in their own blood. My wife's like, chill, dude. I'm like, my bad, my bad, my bad. Um, are you part of a group with the gardening or how? Well, I'm wolf. I have thought about joining a group. But I, I'm like, different, whenever do something like that. It's, it's just, it's too much human interaction for me. I just, I like to like, figure it out by myself. Maybe, maybe one mentor would be good. A whole group, there's bound to be someone I don't like. Yeah. I'm going to be battling. I'm like, no, thank you. Some guy trying to get you to buy his soil or some other thing. Something like that. Or just, just a, just a run of the mill know it all. Yeah. Any, any adult, any group of just adults together, there's going to be at least one, if not two, like, unbearable guys usually. Like, you're just like adult education. There's always one person who's on a raise your hand, talk for 10 minutes every time. It's just like, bro, shut up man. Oh, when you get to like that DUI course, some guy who's like, you know, like, he's never going to drink and drive again. First of all, one of God's rules is nobody gets just one DWI. I know. I know. It's everyone, everyone needs to get one. My, my friend, it was fun. He was a couple years ago, but he had one. I think he was the last one to get one, but his brother had one and his dad had one. And they're all at like family Christmas party with extended family. And he like, they're all drinking beer and he like cheers them. Like, hey, we all have DUIs guys. And I think his dad was trying to keep his under wraps. He was like, shut the fuck up. I did a DUI's cheers and you know, I thought he would go over better, but dude, there's nothing sadder than a dad. The DUI on his way home from work and he's been drinking or whatever. They get him, man. They, I know a lot of guys who just quietly you get him. You're like, all right, all right. You got me. You got me. They drive drive. Yeah. That's, oh, my stepdad got one. My dad would be drunk. He would park his car just like wherever it kind of stopped like by our gator, whatever. So my mom would fucking be out there yelling at the 77 year old man. He's just fucking unconscious and a white fucking LTD that he was not even at a certain point, dude. He wasn't strong enough to get the door back open once he got in. So sometimes he'd get in there and he'd get him from work and we didn't know. We'd be inside. We'd slumped. Leave him out there all night. Yeah. Crazy dude. Well, dude, that's the thing. They were allowed to drink and drive. Like, drinking and driving was like, like, my dad is almost 70 and like, when they're in high school, if cops will pull you, be hammered driving a car and they'd be like, come on, man, get the hell out. They'd take your beer and be like, get out of here. Yeah. You didn't get in trouble for it. So all of a sudden, now it's criminalized. Fucking woke bullshit. It's a good point. It's pretty bad. It's very dangerous. There we go. Who's this guy? He's a sturm. That's a sturminator. And if he has a church behind, if he means it, who is he? It's AI. Well, I think if you just go to YouTube, say you put it in like Tucson, extreme exterminator, if you go to some of those places and just look for some, try to make it by city or whatever you have to do to see if you can come up with some. Yeah. It's more organic. Yeah. It'd be nicer by the end. We had some. If you have exterminators, they're really, they keep themselves hidden. Well, I think, first of all, I wonder if that's a dying game. I don't know. I don't think so, man. Because it's like, is it running the family? Because a lot of times you'd be like, you know, my dad was a fireman. I'm a fireman. And then the third kid is like, I'm not if I'm just fat or whatever. Yeah, true. Yeah. No, that's, but there's always that lineage. You know, like, I love hot dogs. My dad loved hot dogs. Yeah. My son loves hot dogs. And then you're like, breaks, gay son who really likes hot dogs. Yeah. Dude, I think it's just like one of the, it's just one of those gigs. I think it's just like a get out of jail gig and you know, you do it. Especially if you like do it for yourself. That's what a lot of them. It's just like, it's a business you can get into. It's like cleaning. You can run it. You can start a cleaning company pretty easily. It's very low overhead. A lot of strippers do it. Yeah. That's actually actually a great, yeah. It's a great move. And it's a, it's like a reentry program into, I've hung out with a lot of strippers. Me even made out of their cars sometimes. That's all. And you'll have like a mob handle coming across your shoulder and shit. You know, that's where you know they're on the ascension. Oh, yeah. You see that? You know, this is actually a good sign. This, this, this lady's got her act together. Hop in. There's a 9 month old in the car seat. You're like bad sign. This lady needs a mop. He's sleeping on a pack of us whiffer replacement covers. I tried my hand at stripper dating. It wasn't a, you know, I'm not, nothing against them. I just wasn't cut out for it. It was, it was a little too rough and tumble for me. You have to be a boss. You have to also work late hours. To be a stripper's boyfriend, you are working. They work in late hours. You have to be up when they get home. Dude, my sister had a friend that was a stripper, right? Yes. And she would come over to our house and shed. And her, my sister always fighting and stuff. And, uh, and then she stole our vacuum one time, right? Trying to break into the industry. Volesa. That was your name. Volesa, which isn't even a name. Volesa. It's like, what name is it? Volesa. That's kind of the crazy name. It's crazy, dude. And, uh, so many of you stole our vacuum. Dude, two years later, I met like one of these real, fancy, uh, parties where they have a woman pop out of the cake or whatever, like, you know, the thing you kind of say to me like, they actually had a girl pop out of the cake. They had two cakes and two girls pop out of them and like, it was a big birthday for this guy and, uh, and they were strippers, right? And one of them was the woman. Whoa. It was Volesa, who had stolen our vacuum, dude. And so guys are tipping her and shit. And I'm just fucking like, wait, I'm just in the bag, just like making vacuum sounds and shit and fucking locking on her. That's fucked up to take someone's vacuum too. That's a, that could really throw a household under quick. And me and my sister on our last limb as neighbors, dude. And we lived under this family that was like very heavy bone. Yeah. I'm stopping. Yes. And they were beating each other. Like, I think there was domestic abuse. Yikes. And I would call the police all the time when them. I've called the police. I'll always call the police a lot since I was, since I was a child, but yeah, um, I would call the police all the time. And I'd be like, he has a gun. That's what I'd say every time they get right there. They're right there. Yeah. If you're like, Hey, he's beating this woman. He, one of his kids, he fucking tied his kid to a tree outside of whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He just put up a bunch of crow food on his kids' shoulders and tied him to a tree outside. Never. They don't get it. Yeah, I don't know if you're gone, is there?
That's the code, that's the fast path. 'Cause they want the action, dude. - They do, they love it. And well, they get like cred. If a cop takes a gun off the street, that's something they get like accolades for. Bringing a guy's like just socked his wife in the stomach, nobody your sergeant doesn't like pat you on the back. If you get a gun, that's like a cop like Pac-Man pellet. That like takes you further in the journey. - Yeah. - That's like literally a metric for cops. How many guns you get and all that stuff? Were you almost on the force ever? - No, my wife was on the cop. So I got to like observe secondhand. Dude, I thought it's so hard about becoming a cop. But I couldn't, I wasn't able to do it. - That's right, your wife was a cop, huh? - Yeah, I was so on weed, so I couldn't become a cop. (laughing) - But you guys mad, dude. - We met before, yeah, we were before that. But she was a cop when you met her? - No, she wasn't a cop. She just surprised me one day. I was like, I think I'm gonna become a police officer and I was like, she was a cop now. - Not, no, no. She did it for like five years. - She was for five years and Philadelphia. - Okay, that's being a cop, dude. - Yeah, dude, she was, she was on like little foot, she was on full patrol and everything, and she was in like, not the best area for sure and Philly. - Well, I like North. - No, she was in South, like Grey's Ferryish, so it's pretty rough. - A lot of areas there. - Yeah, it was like gang, there were some gangs there for sure. It was like an old Irish neighborhood of like, pretty, I would say, pretty hardcore white trash and then it was like, black gangs. You know, it's a brutal, it's not a good mix. But the, so yeah, you gotta, cops kind of watch videos too of like all the bad stuff that happened. You get an email of like, like a 14 year old got shot up in a deli last night and it's just lively. It's like the video. - It's like, I don't know, why do they make them watch that stuff? - Dude, well, Twitter makes us all watch all that. - Yeah, true, true, true, true. - I'm not a cop. That's what I'm just, I'm fucking replying to this in these Twitter feeds. I'll send this to the authorities. - I'll wake up in the middle of the night for somebody to turn my phone next day. I've seen seven people getting massacred outside of something like, outside of like a car dealership and outside of Tijuana or something. - What? - Yeah. - What portal of hell did I just take myself to? Dude, X is crazy now. I remember like, so I remember when his Twitter, it was like, there's too much censorship and I'm like, yeah, dude, like, let me see the real shit. Now I'm kind of like, let's go. Let's censor this heavily again. My, my, I can't even go on X anymore. It's my, I get all like race baiting, kind of like race war propaganda. Where it's like, can you believe though that it's just non-stop? - Huh. - You know, you know, you watch it, you know. - You get the race war propaganda? - Yeah, dude, I get like lots of like, I get a lot of like white supremacy stuff. - Yeah, I swear to God, I don't even like, I don't like her shit. - They weren't you back, they knew you have a black belt. - They want me back. - They want me back. - They want me back. They're trying to break me out of that. But it's just like, yes, it's rough. I'll be like watching, trying to scroll next to my wife and it'll be like a guy screams the N-word. I'm like, what was that? I'm like, oh, some fucking video. Going back to Instagram. It's just a guy screaming the N-word again. I'm like, oh shit. - My X feeds is completely bonkers. - Dude, Elon should do better than that. He should want better than that for society, I feel like. - Yeah. - You know? I think there's a lot of smud, it's just trash. - Yeah. - It feels like trash, honestly. I think there was a spot where it felt like, I mean, I guess there's still some good video and stuff on there, you'll see. - For sure. - I'll see like some good political stuff on there. But I do feel like outside of that, it's losing. I feel like it's kind of starting to lose, it's vibe. - I think so, it's, then you read the news, it's like, this now valued at $90 trillion. And like, how? How the flies is worth so much money? I don't know, maybe though if you do flood it with porn and like violence, it does make a bazillion dollars. So, good business wise, you might be crushing it, but I had to, I've stepped off of X. - Yeah. - Yeah, I can't. I just can't watch it, it's too much. - It's too much. - Yeah. - Trying to go to bed, trying to drown myself to sleep. - I'm trying to have a decent life (laughs) fucking killing animals of backyard. - Yeah, only what necessary. - Yeah. - It's funny too, like, yeah, you're like trying to, I wanna live in a safe neighborhood. Then you're just watching just people being shot in the face and you're like, why am I doing this? It might be safe house, this is crazy. - Dude, it's worth a point for sure. One of the biggest things I'm noticing are for myself that I noticed. We're at a point with fuck of my talk about it. That's insane. - We might be at a point, let's see. Where like, I have to control what comes into me, man. And if I don't, then that's my fucking fault. - Yeah, it's true. - You know. Now the algorithm, the people that make the algorithms should be able to be held liable if someone goes and does a crime based on them feeding them, like the same type of bullshit. Like, somebody goes in a shootout place 'cause they got indoctrinated into some really strong and like, sadistic beliefs or something, because the algorithm fed them that. I think that those people should be held liable. Yeah, man, or it's tough. Case by case is tough 'cause it's like, well, how do you, it's like in court. Obviously, like the moral thing, yeah. But like a lawyer, like Facebook's lawyers would just shred that. Like, oh, he was watching that and this and that. They'll get out of that. But I agree, it's like, I think, didn't they just rule against Facebook now being like. - Yeah, what was that? - I think a thing came against them being like, yo, you guys, kind of like they did with cigarettes, where they were like, yeah, dude, this shit's bad. You knew it was bad. You gave it to people and now you got a fork. Here you go right here. A serious ordered meta and Google to pay $3 million to a 20 year old woman who alleged that she became addicted to Instagram and YouTube as a child fucking damn shit. All right, everyone else get on that train. Jurors found the company's liable for product design features that harmed her mental health. The plaintiff Kaylee GM testified that the apps replaced her hobbies and attributed anxiety depression and body dysmorphia, yeah. - Bro, that they have about two billion lawsuits coming about the same, like that's. It says it right here. The case is the first 1000s targeting big tech over addiction to reach trial of bell weather to assess how other claims could be resolved. - Well, this is apparently from what I heard like long ago is a lot of these social media companies had people who designed slot machines consult with them to like how to make their basically interface as addictive as possible. You know when you like pull down a refresh and like your phone kind of like shakes a little bit. There's that little noise. That's like slot machine technology somehow. Like it's designed to like, you get a little dopamine burst when it goes like, boom. And you're like, ooh yeah, new stuff. And it's like apparently it's set up like that where it's like it's purposely designed to be maximally addictive. And they did it on purpose. - Shit. - Yeah, and it's like cigarettes. They're like, oh, this is bad for you. You know, now they're gonna have to pay out. They already have billions and billions of dollars or have to just fork some of the billions. - Yeah, it's worth it to them to continue to do it. But do you remember the old school dopamine burst? You'd see a bald eagle fly by. - That was the dopamine burst. Yeah, I remember those days. - Or even if it wasn't and somebody just said it was. - True, yeah, you've been fucking seeing your kid. You're just staring up into the sky. It's like a pointing. - Dude, I do remember being younger before the internet and just like, like it's like summer and I would just be like sitting outside and it's like I would just be able to kind of like stare off for a while and just like be like, this is nice. And it's like, I can't like take a shit now. If I don't have my phone, I'm like, I need to be scrolling. - Yeah, one was the last time that we've daydreamed, you know? - I know, it's tough. You really do, I have to like on a plane, I can try to like force myself. But then the whole time I'm like, I can't believe I'm not on my phone. I'm so cool right now. I'm even daydream. I just like pat myself on the back for not looking at my phone. - Yeah. - And then I go, you know what? I'm gonna look at my phone, everyone's looking at my phone. - Dude, or if you go to a rep, it used to be, this is the craziest thing to think that someone could be in a restaurant. Buy themselves. Like 40 years ago, you could do that. You could be in a restaurant by yourself, sitting at a table and you wouldn't look insane. (laughing) - That's true. - Now, without a phone, like for now, if you see someone in a restaurant by themselves, just sitting there, waiting for some people who are probably doing Coke to bring them their food. - Dude, there's fucking no. - Dude, I do this when I go out, when I eat like I'm in a different city, I'll go out to dinner by myself. And I'll pride myself and I'll sit there and just like waiting for some congratulations that never comes. I just stare straight into like, you literally don't know what to do with yourself. 'Cause it is that problem. You're like, I can't stare straight ahead. I'll try to look like kind of almost like I'm dreamily like. - Yeah. - Oh, and it's just nothing there. - Or I'll rearrange the software again, do that shit. Play the shell game with like, fork, knife, knack, and fork, knack, knack, knack. - Go to the bathroom, really slow. - Oh look at that. - Chick-fil-A is offering free ice cream to families who agree to put their phones away during their meal. Bro, that's part of an effort to encourage more face to face, time and less screen use at the table. What are the exact rules with that? - Who's enforcing and do you imagine if you cost your family the Chick-fil-A family meal just from one glass? That's top, you were getting serious trouble. - You glance out of your phone just to see the bears didn't get it done again. You can call us as a retarded guy blows a whistle at you. (laughing) - They should have a dude Chuck Filet is his name. He's just a black dude in there. He's a straight chicken cop in there. (laughing) - That would be a good job. He's like boom, got you. - Fork, $38, let's go. - Yeah, Chuck Filet. - Chuck Filet strikes again. - Yeah, that's a shit man. That's nice, Chick-fil-A, it's, you know, I like that. - I do too. - I like that, if they're not on their phone. Let me see, the promotion is only offered at Select Chick-filet locations by individual operators and not a company wide program. - 2016. - It originated in 2016 from a Georgia operator and has been revived locally at various times. - I like that though. - I do too. - Yeah dude, it was just like, or just driving and thinking about shit. - Yeah, I know. - Dude, your mind had so much time like, I think that's one reason we're more creative because our mind was able to just fucking create. It was able to like, the RAM wasn't always, you know, your computer send you that thing? It's like, your RAM is almost,
Even when you know what your RAM is, you're like, "Fuck, I better empty the RAM track." Clean this out, I need a deep fragment. I don't know what that is. Yeah, no, dude, that's really, it's like, 'cause you have sleep, your brain gets to rest, but that downtime, your brain does do stuff, it kind of organizes things when you just kind of chill out. 'Cause when you're on your phone, you know when you read something on your phone, you don't remember any of it. 'Cause as you're reading, when you're on your phone, every button and thing you're moving is like, it's a problem solving part of your brain. So you're trying to, you know, you want your memory to be active, so you're reading like, information's coming. You have so much coming at you, like the part of your memory that can store information along to the short term is like a tiny little bucket in your brain. So it only fits so much when you're like, hitting buttons and going up and down this and that, it just gets, it's like splashing a ton of water in a tiny bucket, just everything spills out. I never remember anything. I research stuff on my phone all the time. And then I go like, that'll be like, like how many carbs do you need to be in keto? I'll read a whole article on it and like a day later. And I'll be like, going to tell someone about it. I'm like, I don't know. You need like only a little, I can never retain anything. Well, dude, if somebody wants to tell me something these days, I'm like, dude, I can look at information, and we all have it now. - I know. - Like somebody used to have the information, like you had to go down the street. You had to get molested by a guy. - Yeah. - Okay. - Just to figure out how to grow boog and vealies in your backyard, you know what I'm saying? - Yeah. No, it's true. Now I can just take a picture of a plant. It's like, this is the plant you're growing. I do it all the time. It'll be like, is this good? When can I harvest this, blah blah blah? Yeah, it's actually, I do kind of like that. But you'll just take a picture and you'll do what? Put it in a perplexity or something? - Yeah, yeah, I'll grok and be like, you know, when can I pull this garlic? But it's not sure fire. It'll be like, have you eaten? - I'm just gonna just show you some fucking folder. - It's not the same thing. As America celebrates its 250th birthday this year, let's remember the people who helped build it. The American ranchers. And one way to do that is I believe by supporting American ranchers and no one does that better than good ranchers. That's where I get my meat and poultry. I have a subscription. At a time where most Americans aren't sure where any of our products are coming from, good ranchers is doing things right. They source their cuts from local farms and American ranchers full stop. 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And their in-store experience, it's unparalleled with experts staff and complimentary beverages, beverages, beverages and customizations. I put my Tacovas on and boy, I'm ready to, I'm just ready to dang meat somebody. I'm ready to introduce myself to the world. Right now you get 10% off at Tacovas.com/thio when you sign up for email and text. That's 10% off at t-e-c-o-v-a-s.com/thio. Tacovas.com/thio see site for details. Tacovas point your toes west. I personally am not worried about AI. Like people like it's going to end the world. It's like, I don't worry. I don't think it is, honestly. And if it, if it does, what are you really going to do? All these, a lot of people are doing this like, I'm just not using it 'cause it's like, I just feel like it's such a weird, it's like it's a computer. Like it's not, you can destroy a computer easily. Like you say, wait, but it will like self build itself so you can, it's like, dude, that's, it's just nerds freaking out. It's not, I don't think it's a real threat whatsoever. You know, I started to think it's definitely could be like the Y2K thing, remember that? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember everybody was like force and they're like, it wasn't just you admit they were fat. Or whatever, because God wasn't going to want them after midnight early. Like all that shit, you know? Or it was like, don't say you're a fat (beep) before midnight. Yeah. For God won't let you in or whatever. There was like all that kind of like, those email chains or send this to 10 people that are fat, you get those type of email chain, like what is this shit dude? But yeah, 'cause they were trying to catch fat (beep) whatever I think Bush senior was doing that. But anyway, that was crazy, bro. Everybody thought Y2K had been ended. And then people thought the dot-com boom, people bought like, remember a guy bought like shoes dot-com and he's like, and then he sort of like 270 million dollars. And we were all buying different dot-coms, you know? Before making up crazy dot-com names, you tried it. I tried to get a couple. Did you? Yeah, I didn't get anything good, honestly. I don't remember. I think I sold them off right away or just, they probably just did. They expired too, if you don't keep refreshing them. Yeah, I didn't buy anything good. I watched this soft white underbelly, it's been cracking me up for like a month. There was a guy who was similar to that lawsuit, he was going on being like, I had too much internet at a young age, he had a bad effect on me. And he was like going out and compulsively doing like gay acts. But he was like, I'm not gay, I just got like, you know, it was the internet. The thing that got him into it was gay.com, which just made me laugh so hard. As a young kid, it's hitting gay.com. (laughs) Your whole life just so bad. Jam, everything changes from gay.com. Hey bud. Getting caught in fifth grade on gay.com. I would've been done dude. Old two older brothers catching gay.com. I would've been fried. Oh, that would've been crazy, huh? The guy going up to your room? You're gonna get on gay.com. (laughs) Gay.com, that's a billion dollar hashtag, hyperlink, whatever people got. Gay.com, so good. That's still worth money. I, for sure, gay.com to send it to your buddy. Dude, hilarious. Change, you can change the hyperlink, you can do this way, you can do that. Oh man. Dude, buff almost.com was one of my favorite ones. Ari Mann has his comedian and he started a website called buffhamos.com. Did he really? Yeah, see if it's still active or not. I bet he pays. Buffhamos.com is great. What's he doing with it? He didn't want to. Oh, just go to his website. (laughs) Which I think he should change that. But, maybe not actually. All you have to do is, if you put like one good buff gay guy, well he was doing it in his fucking management. He told him not to do it. He couldn't curate buffhamos. Yeah, they're like, you know, it's just kind of like, that's one to be sort of a fucking manager. Yeah, that's a billion dollar idea. Yeah. That's crazy. If you're not a fucking pussy, so his manager has had to sit him down and be like, about buffhamos.com. Yeah. But then they told him make that his landing page, basically. Yeah. A non-buffhomo on there. (laughs) And I love Ariari's open for me a month over the years. He's a great man. He's a great comedian. And he's a great dude. Clearly business genius too, buffhamos.com is so good. Bro, and he would send me the pictures of buffhamos and stuff. And it was like, and it was like, he would get his friends that owed him favors, he would give him stage time if they modeled for it. So that was the best part. So you had like guys like Steve Fury, just different comedians who were like kind of door guys at the store were also growing good comedians. (laughs) Like Craig Cunnet. And he would have him just modeling fucking regular dudes. But when you put them under the banner of buffhamos, it's crazy. You put a banner over something. You see a picture of a regular dude with this shit off. You're like, okay, maybe that guy's trying to get the military or whatever. And then they write buffhamos above it. You're like, oh, this changes everything. (laughs) I mean, okay, so this manager was probably worried about the fallout of being like, is it true that you tricked young comics in the stage time for modeling for buffhamos? (laughs) Or is it all? I think some of new ones go in all. - Sure, for sure. - They're all buddies. But it'd be, yeah, that's a good lose, that's a good lose a bet kind of thing. Like you lose the bet. Playing poker for like buffhamos of the week. - I had a website called totalcreeper.com for a while. - Did you really? - Yeah, this was a long time ago. And I would just find total fucking creepers and just take pictures every now and then. - I didn't put a lot of that shit in there. (laughs) - I did those early websites on the internet. There was mullet.com. That was great. - Yeah. - That's all.com is good. If you do this camel toe org, people would have snapped camel toe shots and like grossing sort of that one was that. Yeah, that one was a little bit of innovation or privacy, obviously. But I remember as a young man being pumped on camera. - Yeah, what was it good when I, oh, there was like that, uh, is there a way to look at total, is there a way to find that in the like analogs of anything guys? - Yeah, Web Archive might have it. No. - No, this was a must. - That's humbler. That's a UK female. - Yeah, that's Tumblr. Remember.
Tumblr, that shit was weird. - Tumblr was crazy, dude. I never got into it personally, but I knew a girl who like was, or big thing was curating a Tumblr of just like, lightly pornographic content. It was just like a sex Tumblr, it was crazy. - Oh, dude, there was like one like, girls and panties getting out of cars or whatever, fuck, dude. Something about it, dude. But in panties, not like thong, not trashy fucking, you know. - Now, dude, we're rare that we can still wear JPEG heads. We're one of the last to have beaten it to a still image. - Oh, you know what I mean? Like, not a lot of people can say that. - Yeah. - Dude, right. I remember the fucking like, I used to come home from church on Sundays and grab the newspaper, pop out the Coles catalog, straight to the underwear section, locked the door in the bathroom. - God. - 45 minutes, Sesh. - Dude, I used to rub some of the, like I would rub like a thing. - This is fucking crazy. I should never say this how I'm like, because I'll never have a wife after this. But I would rub like a picture of like, if they had a model, like a underwear model, I'd rub it under my arms, 'cause sometimes it would kind of smell like, (beep) a little bit like that. - Jeric off, too. - You would stank it up. - Yeah, yeah. - I was just gonna stank it up. - Yeah. - Yeah, I don't think my mom, my mom, that's actually really good. - You think it's a good idea? - To stank it up. - Yeah. - Yeah, I'd never even thought about that. - Thanks, man. - I got ashamed of it. - To stank, I think that's actually pretty cool. Now, the problem is you're crossing wires, 'cause you're gonna catch, like you're gonna be out working out one day, catch some of your own phone, can be like, God damn, I better come under there. (laughing) Start fucking eating out your armpit. - Oh, that's insane, dude. - That's the line. - No worries, I had a buddy that did that, that we catch him doing it at night. - No, sleepovers. - Really? - 'Cause he had like hair under his arm, and he would kind of get his tongue around the corner of his box of his pectoral. - Ah, that's fucking weird. - And get him a little nibble. - That's fucking. - That's a little nibble band. - Pretty impressive. - You nibbling your armpit. (laughing) - Ah, Ricky. - Okay, this was, yeah, are there any still on here? - Total creepers sick. - But yeah, people were supporting, people were sending this shit in. This was good shit. - Oh, I was sending the creepers in, it was awesome. - My great aunt died, and there are two zombie jokers showed up to the burial and said they were friends of hers, but no one knew these two, what you think. - But that's total creepers, that's a really good one. - It was good, dude. - Damn, what did that say? - What did that say? - Lamp man. - This guy and I were at the same full service car wash who was yelling into his phone about a mortgage. What do you think? (laughing) - Yeah, I missed the imagination, bro. - Yeah. - I miss seeing a girl smile at you like on a Friday at school, or give you some sign of like maybe she even just like, as she goes through some trash away from her son. - That would have been awesome. I would have loved to do that. - Totally. And then you're thinking all week and you're like, fuck, she's thinking about me. I'm gonna start working out. You start making like, we would like chisel like weights out of like wooden shit, trying to like, - Chip pumps. - Yeah. We didn't know that it had a way of real amount. We were like, oh, it just has to look like weights. And just dumb shit, but then Monday, you'd be like, oh, she fucking hates me again. But there was just that couple day period where there was no phone to see that she was having a blast or that she was like, her family was rich or whatever, I had a boat or whatever. You just laid at home and you're fucking poor bed. - Yup. - Thinking. - You know some imaginary, yeah, it was actually, I genuinely, I know people say this all the time, but I do feel bad for like younger kids. Have you gotten into like the clovicular stuff? - I see this stuff. - Look at Max singing all that stuff. So he did an interview with Andrew Callahan recently, I watched and I've watched a lot of it stuff, but there's like this world of guys that are like, you know, looks Maxing is like, your only hope in life is to become as attractive as possible. But now they're doing these things. We're like injecting a bunch of peptides. These are like young, like, you know, like early 20s. Go on TRT, you're hitting the peptides. And you know, the thing that gets sensationalized is like, you kind of tap your jawbone with a hammer 'cause it's called like bone hammering or whatever. So you're like, kind of doing micro fractions. Dude, it's crazy. And he, I watched the interview, he said like, oh man, like that's really nothing. But that's all like what you have bone smashing. Is a dangerous non-scientific social media trend, primarily popular on TikTok and within looks, Maxing silk filters that involves intentionally inflicting blunt force trauma on facial bones to alter their structure. Proponents falsely claim they're repeatedly breaking your breathing bones with hammers, bottles, or hard objects will cause them to heal in a more chisel or masculinity. If that's the case, everybody in Stockton would be fucking beautiful. Yeah, Drew. Yeah, Drew, I was just gonna fucking hit in the face. Everybody would be fucking hit by bottles and shit. Yeah, well, the thing is, it's like, you know, a lot of it's just internet stuff, but there is the underlying philosophy where it's like, you know, the dye has been cast for you. And if you're not like, you know, super attractive or like, as like, you know, it's like guys are kind of becoming girls now where it's like, I just got to be prettier and like, it's like, there's a, it's called the bone structure hierarchy where like, the way your bone structure is that kind of determines your whole fate as a person. And if you don't ascend, you'll become this like, it's just like sad and very bleak in like this, like a, I don't know, there's like really nihilistic thing where it's just like, dude, you can just be a dude. You don't have to be like, I need to ascend, I need to ascend so I can mog and blah, blah, blah, blah, just, I feel bad. I mean, I think a lot of kids at least joke about it, but I was watching that interview and I'm like, man, this is like a really sad way to live being like my, but my, my subalbertal is not maximal about, it's like, dude, you're a guy who cares, just, and what is magging? That's the part. Yeah, magging is like, so you can be, you can be height-mogged, you can be frame-mogged. If you're like someone's bigger than you and you stand, if they take a picture with you and they're looking bigger, you've been mocked. Okay. If they're taller than you, you've been height-mogged. You know, there's, and there's like, you can go any dimension of like whatever you have. So cock, somebody could be cock-mogging you, somebody could be. The war, that's the worst mug. If you get cock-mogged, that's fucking tough. Yeah, 'cause I'd be hit my with a hammer. (laughing) Look at the fucking job bones on this little cock. Like, damn, that thing's small. You're like, yeah, but look at that fucking smile on it. Which is brutal. I know girls do that. They take pictures together and there's a lot of like very hyper-specific comparison where they're like, look at my knees and it's like, this is now like younger guys. I think you're starting to do that to some degree, becoming very aware and conscious of like, he's taller than me in that photo. It's like, you're fine. I don't know. That kind of freaks me out. We don't, we can't have both people doing that. You know, there's no, there's no, there's none for me. He got frame-mogged. That was the thing. He took a picture, that's clavicular. And he got frame-mogged 'cause the guy stood next to him was bigger and it was just, that's like, now you descend. You were ascending and now he descended a little bit. - Damn. It's, and this clavicular, I mean, that guy also looks like, he looks like a fucking GNC store. - So the other guys, so that's the ASU frat guy. The guy in the black is clavicular. - Yes. - Yeah, so that guy, yeah, it's just, it looks unnatural, I guess, is what I'm trying to say. - Yeah, well, that first of the guy on the right looks fucking insane, dude. He honestly looks like a fucking good, that kind of a trill lesbian, no cat, bro, no cat, dog. B-I-L-M, you know what I'm saying? You wearing a fucking like bra shirt or whatever, what are you fucking doing? And also, you know, we started all that was Laura, Laura Jamelow ball, dude, just fucking whatever. That dude wearing that bra, or whatever, were you shooting that fucking fade away or what? - No, no, was he wearing a bra? - Yeah, him and SGA were like, just goon and around after, I think I'd, I think I'd, (laughs) - Well, this was that, I don't know, that was, when I was growing up, mix dudes wasn't fucking, mix dudes had enough. - That's what you're talking about, what the fuck is that about? - No, that's not it, that's crazy. - Yeah. - I'm saying that's crazy, that's wild. - You don't, when do you need just that much of a shirt? - Yes, take it, yeah, you don't need it at all. - Yeah, like you hit a gross spread or whatever, (laughs) - Dude, the sad thing about, you see that guy, that's like a very bizarre frame. With all the peptides and filters and all this stuff, that's what's garnering all the attention, especially for women, your lips have to look all, people are becoming literally artificial beings. And it's like, dude, it sounds like a really complicated thing, it's just, I think about this all the time. There's this thing called super normal stimuli, which is like, you know, it's not as crazy as it sounds, so like say, these studies where they had these butterflies, and like the male butterflies, they saw a female that was a shade of purple, the more purple the butterfly was, that was the more attractive they were, and the butterflies would go mate with those butterflies. The scientists made a shade of purple that wasn't able to be produced by the natural butterflies. That was like such a deep purple. The butterflies would just lay on this piece of cloth and just die. And I feel like that is happening to people in some regard where people are like, especially women are making themselves into these like, artificial things, and now guys are matching, and it's just, I don't know, freaks me out. So you're chasing an aesthetic that's not natural, and it's not attainable, and they're using all these like scientific methods. A lot of women, if women have those lip injections, dude, I'm out. Yeah, if women put on too much lip, like if it's a little bit I can get, right? But if it's just fucking dumb, dude, like your lips look like they've been like, like they've been eating or whatever? Yeah, dude, no, I'm telling that, and there's also a fine line of plastic surgery where it almost all ends in the same exact look. There's like a fully constructed face that you're like, oh, it's just like plastic surgery face. I just feel bad, 'cause you know, you're obviously insecure if everybody is, and then you do all this work and you're like, oh, my nose looks better, this looks better, and then it's like, I have this like look that, I look like I'm a clone or something. Yeah, dude, some, it's just too much. Yeah. Also, if a girl puts on so much lip.
gloss, bro. I'm like, it just like, it's almost like you're saying. It's like, it's two, it's like too much of the purple call. It's like, it's too juicy. Yes. You know one's lips are this juicy. Right. And it's, I just feel bad because, oh, that's, I've seen this. Yeah. That one is that what he's wearing. That's a rough look. He's wearing a fucking Jersey bra. He's wearing a Jersey bra. Look at this. Yeah. That's what it's going on. I don't know. I don't know. Having a good time. Yeah. That's a good point, man. No, but that's, yeah, I saw that. That's, you know, that's one of those videos. You're like, dang, did I really look like that during that? He's still smiling. That's okay. No. And the guy's a boss, too, too. And honestly, if he's one of the, if any of these guys ended up being gay, fellas, or whatever, and being one of the best to ever do it, good for them. Exactly. Gage Jordan. Gage Jordan would be nice. Just that light that slightly lighter lift off. That'd actually be kind of sick to watch. Fly. Floating. Yes. Floating through the air. I just, I feel bad for like, you know, because you have, they, they get like prayed upon because you're on social media. And it's just nothing but before and after. It's before and after. And you just go after that. And you get like, you can get like permanently disfigured. And it's just, you know, it's just, yeah, I don't know. Something strikes me. It's like evil to do that. Well, there's a lot of stuff now, too, where it's like, you know, the peptide, like all that stuff. A lot of it, there's not a ton of research done on it. We just started fucking hearing about it. Yeah. And everybody started using it. I know. And there was, dude, I remember I was with a girl one night in her car. And I was trying to make out or something. I don't remember, but we were sitting in there talking. And she's like, yeah, I got to leave. And like, two hours to go down until you wanted to get some, uh, oh, Zen big. It's just cheaper down there. Really? Yeah. Did they busted a woman outside of a vineyard bond, selling illegal Zen big? Oh, bro. Yeah. That's because you start going to the doctor and then they, you know, they all start talking to each other and they get one of them gets off the internet. Yeah. There's, dude, so many of them are doing it, taking the jab. And it is, because you do get it, like you can go to a doctor, but it's like, it's kind of expensive. And all it takes is one of them being like, I got this website. I'll get it. I'll inject you. And then it's like, does this person know what they're doing? Where did they really get that? What is this stuff? And it's, I'm, I'm so freaked out about putting anything into my body. I, I like can't do it. I'll take like a new vitamin. And I'm like, I feel kind of weird today. It's, that's me. I'm, I'm being a bitch. But it's like, I really am like, but that's irishness, I think as well. I think so. That's our great best on beer and stuff like that. I think so. Basic whiskey beer. Complete basics. Yeah. Yeah. Adding to, I've, I took the one, it was like a pill form that just take it for your stomach. And I think it helped. I didn't really notice much, but the needles, man, I'm like, I get just too scared. I have one in my fridge. I can't do it. I'm like, I'm like, yeah, I'm going to do, supposed to help you like sleep and burn fat. And I like, look at it. I go, nah, I'm not doing that. Just sit there. I'm scared of the needle. I won't do it. I won't do it. Yeah. Say that bitch in case things get crazy. Shoot it in one of your fucking plants. True. Dude, if you started pep time, you're on your plants, dude. Mixing, you know, you have like 11 blackberries in your yard. That would be nice. But yeah, we can each have my whole family. We can each have like three of pieces. Awesome. How good are radishes though? You mentioned radishes. Radishes, man, they're, they grow so easy and they're like, they're good. They can get a little spicy here and there. But like those ones are, they were rewarding because like that, this is a thing too. Like, I tried to grow in carrots. Dude, the carrot greens this big. I pulled the carrot out. I'm not lying. It was this fucking big. So that, that kind of hurts. You wait three months. Then you just got to take it out and throw it on the ground and just let it kind of decompose. Radishes just rip, man. You can grow radishes anywhere. Those bull, those under of those like potatoes, radishes, something like that. Those two birdies. Yeah, they're two birds or whatever they're called. I think the potatoes are two bird radishes on, like root vegetables, I guess. Yeah, root vegetables. They grow pretty good, man. My grandma used to have mullin' her cellar at the end of the day. They have a lot of like senior citizens would have them in their cellars and stuff like that. They keep a lot of root vegetables in there. I love radishes though. They're kind of, they've kind of disappeared for a while. I was kind of like shaved up like they'd fucking been literally like somebody had terrorized them and put them on like little sounds kind of like shredded radishes. Yeah, it's kind of weird. I feel like Mexican food brought them back into my life because I would see them on the tacos and I had it first. I'd be like, well, if I'm not eating, then I started eating them. I'm like, damn, these things are pretty good actually. You get a fucking spicy radish. So bro, put a little bit of salt on it. Yeah, man. They're good. They're good. And there's something. I mean, just pointed out the ground washing off and eating it is just, there's something awesome about that. You ever pull one right out and just wash the right there and eat it in the yard? I'd have to wash it first. I usually bring it inside, but I'd like to, I feel like those, you know, I've like picked them off. I pick like berries off a bush and eat them. But the radish, I'd never pulled them out of the dirt and eat them now. Do that. I should actually. I have left a little bit of dirt on before and washing it and like it's got to be minerals and shit in here. I don't believe it and don't believe all that eating the dirt propaganda. You can eat dirt for sure. I wouldn't have it. I mean, it depends on what area. Just the dust. True. Yeah. True. True. True. My soil's pretty good. That's the thing too. You got to like, you got to like, you know, you got to build like a whole little colony in your soil, you know, because if you just dump soil out of a bag, it's not, it's not living. It's not many square feet as you're garden. Oh, man, not a lot. It's probably like 40 total if that. And then I have a little thing outside my fence like it's like full sun all day. That's probably another like, probably have like 50, 60 square feet total. Small. Do you have to water in the morning and evening or how does it work? I do in the summer. Yeah. But the water palies those. I have those. And I have, I have like some sprinklers now. I got to hook them up. But the, I just kind of water them though twice a day, depending on how hot it is. If it's like super hot, that's twice a day. You put some mulch down to keep the roots, keep the roots from getting scorched. So it's just, it's nice, man, especially like, yeah, when you just see a new little bud pop off your plant, it's just such a come out in the morning. And I'm like, oh, it's just a nice little treat. Yeah. And you're kind of like an orchestra conductor, a nature. Yeah. It's, it is, but it's pretty cool. You got to be patient. You got to wait. And it's like, like, dude, I planted garlic six months ago. I might have some like in three weeks. And it's just like, it's just like a thing that's like good. That's grow. You know what I mean? That's like, you know, because otherwise, I've had a lot of times in life where I just have nothing to look forward to. And you're just like, whatever. And every day, I'm like, well, my bury is eventually two years. I have like things that are going to take like two years to grow. And I'm like, man, two years is going to be sick. I'm like that. It's, I'm telling you, it's really good for you. I'm been wondering if there was ever a time when you were with your family and your car broke down because I've been there. And I remember my, the car was broke down. And I stood off, I walked off from that thing. I said, I ain't even being with you all anymore. Just didn't even want to be by my family dang it. Just out of shame. Car shield could have fixed that. Car shield offers month to month vehicle protection plans designed to protect drivers from expensive car repair bills. 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[email protected]. Thank you. Well, you know what? I recently I started to get up earlier and do like just really just start to take some control over my own life more, and it's just helped me so much and it's helped me to like, I don't know, everything else just feels like more possible. It's like, oh, I'm caring about what I'm doing here. It hasn't been like every day has been perfect, but just like over the past month it's gotten, let me see what I'm trying to say. So I'll get up and I'll do some yoga workout, meditate, hit an AA meeting or something, and then I'm like, it's like 10 a.m. and now I'm in the rest of my day's mind, right? I don't have work and shit to do, but I just feel like.
like the more I'm investing in myself or things like that, it's like it feels good. - Dude, it's unbelievable 'cause otherwise, it's like what is moving your life? You know, you're just kind of being blown about. I do that all the time where I'm just kind of like, - You have to make your life mean something. - Exactly. - I think when you come out of this time where you're like, oh, there's all these things that I get to get put into and there's somebody putting you in it, shit, you don't even realize it. - Yeah. - All this stuff happens and you're just in, but you, like, we kind of lose that as we get older. I mean, I know work comes along and family comes along, but it's like, yeah, you have to always feel like, oh, life has to make it, no, you have to make it. - Yeah, dude, it's like 100% true. That's actually fair. I never thought about that too 'cause you do get thrown into school and yeah, you're just like, well, I guess someone will throw me into a job and then you just kind of just like drift along and it's like, I'll do that for like stretches of time and then like, I'll just something will happen where I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? It just is a really bad feeling where I'm like, what am I doing with myself? And then yeah, waking up and being like, I'm doing this at this time, I'm gonna work out, I'm gonna do this. Dude, it really does make you feel so much better. It's like, even if you get up like a half an hour early. - Yeah. - Just like, just get up and like, go for a walk. Otherwise, yeah, that's a feeling that I get like, really free, that'll really like bring me to a bad place when I realize I'm just being blown about by the whims of whatever forces are around me. - Especially as time goes on, dude, I went to your birthday party. That was fun, dude. - That was fun. I was a fucking complete shock for 40th. - So you had no idea? - No clue. Everyone was laughing at me. You didn't even Google my wife told me, she was gonna take me to an opera. And then she did it. It was actually to her crowd, it was a pretty good move. She's like, we don't, we never do anything like that. We never get dressed up and I was like, all right. It was boys in the hood, the opera. (laughing) I didn't know what the hell it was, man. I was like, I didn't, everyone was laughing at me 'cause like, didn't you Google, the opera wasn't even in town that weekend. I'm like, I didn't look it up. I was just showing up, man. You know, and 84% of life's just showing up. - Yeah, man. I really can just be like, what, I don't look into things. I realized that night. I didn't realize how little I truly like look into things and I'll just be like, all right, I'll just come. I don't like research things. I was talking a lot of people that are like, I'd have to look at the C chart, I have to know where I'm sitting. Yeah, that's whimsical, dude. That's like an Irish hello or whatever. (laughing) I really do, dude. I don't know what the fuck is going on. - No idea what's going on. - I'm just sitting there and I just showing up and I'm like, oh, this will be cool. I was like, I'll get to see an opera. I've never seen that before and just wait until it came. And then, so I'm like, in my head, I'm like, I'm gonna be in a dark room all night. I was like, I'm gonna see you in a little weed edible. I'll be fine. So I'm literally, she was like, all the tickets we got, we get to go meet the opera singers, like before it. I'm like, a meet and greet with the opera singers. I'm like, that sounds weird, but I'm like, yeah, I'm down to meet them. This is kind of cool. (laughing) I'm super goalable. And then, so I'm like, kind of stoned and I just like, walk into this room being like, I remember the last thought I had was like, I wonder what opera singers are like, walk in and I saw my mother-in-law and I was like, what the hell, why is she here? And then, I saw someone I hadn't seen in like three years and I truly was like, oh, I'm probably having a dream. And I was like, this is not real. And I kept looking around and like, the noises kind of came back and I was like, surprise. And I was like, what the fuck? And then I got like angry. I was furious at first. - Never be telling me that. Dude, I stood there and I was like, 150 people. I'm like, kind of high on it. I'm like, this is, no, this is completely overwhelming. Surprise. And then I'm like, I'm looking around me and like, what the fuck, she made everyone wear tuxedos and shit for this? And I'm just like, I'm just like, furious. - Fucking get a rid of tuxed, I forgot. I'm furious, sorry. I just felt like, oh no. And then I just kind of like, I like realized what was happening that I was like frowning at 150 people. And I had to like, oh, I thank you everybody. And it took me like an hour and a half to like, the shock to wear off. I was fucked up. But you know, eventually, I was like, what was the anger about you think, kind of? 'Cause I mean, telling me that was fascinating. And your wife was great, dude. Like she started like five months in advance. She's like, don't forget Friday or whatever. And I'm like, this Friday, she's like, no. Friday and five and a half months. But she would remind you every month. And I was like, fuck. And then once I said, I promise I'll be there. I was like, fuck, I gotta be there. But it ended up being great, though. It was a great night, dude. I got the hang out with Tony. There we are now, Adam Eget, Joe DeRosa. And is that your cousin? - It was Zach. - He works at the-- - Yeah, he was at the ownership for a while. - But yeah, dude, it was a good group, though. - Dude, it was, it was fun. I, though, I got there. It was just like, I couldn't even place the anger at first. I was just going like, what the fuck? And I was actually kind of looking forward to sitting in a dark room all night watching the, I was like, this will be crazy. And then it was just like, what I was angry about was like, I don't really like a lot of attention. So then I walked in to just like a complete and total, just being like a washing attention and like surprise. And it just like, it pissed me off. - Yeah. - And then I was like, oh, this is like a party. This is nice. It literally took my brain a second to be like, so first it wasn't even a party. Is that, you know what I mean? Like my brain was like, these are just people looking at me. I'm like, why is this happening to me right now? And then it was like, it came in in layers. And I'm like, oh, fuck, this is my 40th surprise party. Cause we did something two weeks before that. So I was like, nice, I'm done. So like it like took me, my brain was like lagging for like seconds. And then you know, I just like had a walk around and be like, hey, thanks, hey, thanks, hey, thanks. You know, blah, blah, blah, blah. - Thanks, maxing. - Thanks, mouse, thanks, maxing. (laughing) - That's very fair. - Post-maxing, thanks, maxing. - Dude, it would be so funny. Cause I'd be talking like a comedian. And then there'd be just somebody who was randomly downstairs. Who was that the thing? And it was a nice event, man. It was like an event. - Dude, it really was. - And there was like a thing with desserts and there was like, think of, they haven't had like a duck or something. They had great food. They had a, but then there would be also like just family members of somebody's like, I'm man, it's 11, the cousin or whatever, you know? (laughing) You know? - I had a apartment, you know, just fucking, I'm like, what is going on? - I think one of my cousins, I know, I heard the next day kind of college, he was like, let's get a photo right now. - Yes. - Oh, I don't remember some things, but it was just like, there's a lot of different things. And you would get like, yeah, kind of Irish, she looking guys and this and that and then a fucking, you know, just somebody would down, sit and remember who they said it was Irish or whatever. And then even just down to a big freckle in a wheelchair, you know? (laughing) It just like, it was this decision of fucking Mccasca's that had just been through it all, you know? Some Civil War veteran was there, like, it was ghosts there. - Yeah, people were taking it back because that was only a small faction of my family. So people that I knew would be like, because you would just see various mutations of me, where you'd be like, that's got to be one of his cut. That people were like really laughing about that all night being like, I can literally spot every single one of your family members. You guys all look exactly the same. - Dude, that would be the best if they had done a Think Fine Matt's family. - Like a wearer's wall. - Yes. And you had to like just find like amongst all the people there, you had to get like a signature from those 10 people. - That's kind of fun actually. - But now it was a, it was cool, man. I, you know, I always, I gave it up to Brittany. I was like, man, it was very sweet of her. - Very nice, very impressive. It was, it was just such a, it was like, it said, it was like an event. It was like a massive event, and it's, you know, I'm always kind of like, I don't want to do anything, you know, blah, blah, blah. So that was, it was nice. I was like, I appreciated it, but it was, it was a lot for me to take in. - Yeah, it's scary, dude. I have it as far as experiences, kind of scary. - Especially of that magnitude, man. That was like that really like, threw me upside down because I'm going like, you know, I don't like, I don't like be, ask people to do anything. You see people wearing tuxes, I'm going, ah, fuck. So then my family hates dressing up. So I'm like, fuck me, they made them do that. And you know, that was just like, but it was cool, it was awesome. And you can, ah, you can, can you still be drafter or not? - Oh, for the war? - I think they just bought, yeah, I think the war is a 42 unique term. - Yeah, for the military, yeah. - Yeah, the conflict. The, yeah, I think it's up to 42. So if I'm, what are the requirements? And they keep fucking making the age bigger, dude, dude, yeah. - 42, dude, there's a fucking. - I got two good years of me. - Bro, you could do years. - A kernel, that'd be crazy. - I would, I mean, I was a college, at least I want sergeant. Like, am I, am I going in there as a grunt? - Yeah, but actually, I'd kind of like to boss up as a grunt. - Gotta be on time. What is some of the, ah, army chance? Do you have to do some of those, probably? - Yeah, it's like, I don't know what I've been told. - Yeah, uh, uh, 42 is not that old or whatever. - Welcome, America. Army race enlistment age to 42. - Yeah, they're pandering to me. - Ease is marijuana or a stretch, dude. - So you could have fucking. Dude, it's just gonna be a bunch of fucking thick trans kids on gummies out there. - Well, here was one of the problems. - Did you know that 70% of, ah, of young Americans are unfit to serve in the military. They couldn't serve in the military. - Yeah, I heard that. - 70%. - Yeah, that's no surprise, man. That's, that's, I mean, that's sad. - It blew my mind. - Really? - Yeah, when I was a Catholic, like, I've, like, it felt like 70% could serve in the military. - Yeah, yeah, for sure. - Yeah, it's some kids in wheel tears, there's something like, some black kids who were still sucking their thumb or something even though they were like 19 and shit. - Still rocking, yeah. - Which is cool, but they weren't saying anything, but they weren't retarded. (laughing) So you gotta pick a path. But then you had like, yeah, one kid that would get sunburned bad, he couldn't go. Yeah, that bee staying kid or whatever, who is always a fucking piece of shit. - I'm down for them just doing like battle bots. We're at the point now, or is this, what? - It is ridiculous to just be like, yeah, we're gonna just send a bunch of 18 year olds that are shooting each other. So that's like, it's just like, I've said this before, it's like embarrassing. Like guys, for real, we're still doing this. Let's do battle bots, solve it, see what's up, whoever wins, whoever wins. - Yeah, I think pink slips. - Yeah, your buzz saw flips my wedge. Now you get the whole nukes for that. If I'll build a better robot, I'll get the nukes back so I can destroy the world if I have to. You know, if I want to get my way. - Yeah, I agree. It's like, what do, to really be using, I don't know, dude. It's just fucking normal. - But there's the trick where it's like, yeah, you know what, you're right. Then some guy just blows up your city and you're like, I'm fucking blowing them up. Yeah, that's good.
- That's like, you know, I don't think it's escapeable. A major update to army recruiting regulations this week raises the maximum age of recruit and join a 42 and removes a barrier to joining for recruits with a single legal conviction from marijuana or drug paraphernalia possession. - Nice. - The army's previous limit was 35, though. Exceptions are occasionally made. The higher age limit brings the army in line with other services limit of 41 in the Navy and 42 in the Air Force. - Well, that's the weirdest of all, and again, it's well, the fuck is that? It's kind of shit, I don't know. I thought that was fucking Doug Stano for a second. - On the left. - Well, the, okay. - Secret double life of Chrissy Nome's cross-dressing husband, Brian, the pounding busty bimbo photos and trove explicit messages. - Okay. - He could've, that could've been a costume he was doing. - Yeah, I mean, we see. - It's today revealed as a secret cross-dresser who dons gigantic fake breasts and pink hot pants to chat with online fetish models. - Ooh, that's the porn hole going wrong, man. - Yeah, so you need to shut the laptop. Once you're putting, when you're bimbo-fying yourself for webcam, is that what happened? He was bimbo-fying. - Yeah, it looks like while his wife operated the highest echelons of government, handling, handling matters of national security in a recent role as DHS secretary, by Brian Nome, 56 has been dressing up and playing adult, and paying adult entertainers to talk dirty. The Daily Middle has reviewed hundreds of messages involving three women from the bimbo-focation scene who are porn-for-formers, transfer themselves into real-life Barbie dolls by pumping colossal amounts of saline into their breasts. - Whoa, that was his boobs basically from saline? - Yeah, so he pumped his own tits, full of that shit. God. - Okay, no, he had balloons, okay. - Oh, Brian, and in terms of, we've seen squeezing in a flesh-colored crop top with skin-tight pink shorts. - Hold on, so those tits were balloons with the nipple, oh, the knots mimic the nipples. I mean, I'll at least shout 'em out on the nipple position. - That's pretty smart. That was kinda nice. Dang, bro. - What the fuck, dude? - What the fuck is going on? - Bro, that's nice for balloons. I'll get, whoa, what the fuck? (laughing) - Oh, man. - But he has that kind of glossy skin where he's fucking, you know what I'm saying? - That's a horny guy. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that that's kind of alpha. To be that horny where you have balloon boobs, like a fifth grader? - No, no, no, it sounds like what those fucking clavicular kids need to be doing. (laughing) - Fucking tacky sacks in their chest and shit. - Yeah, man, that is a-- - He sent his Seeker roster of online acquaintances at least $25,000 of you cash out in PayPal. When the payments were delayed or filled them to your loads of chats, we quickly turned sour. - Ooh, I bet if I paid fucking $25,000 looking my balloon tits and you didn't be delayed on me, I turned sour. - Oh, dude, so they kind of like put his stuff out there. - Yeah, it's a sign that somebody who spouses at that level has that kind of bad judgment. - Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, bro. - I didn't know this was a thing, dude. - Yeah, I guess it is, dude. Honestly, bro, all this shit makes me want to cut my leaner off and just mail it to Africa, dude. I'm not even joking, dude. I thought about that for years. Cut my leaner off, be done. - Yeah, am I nuts off? - Yeah. - If they want it or just whatever you want. You can do it, send 'em both. - Keep your nuts. Keep your tea going and stuff, that wouldn't be too much fun. - Yeah, keep my fucking nuts. - Keep your nuts, let your nuts hang. - Yeah. - Chop off your unit and just keep everything. - And mail it to Africa. Feed a fit, feed a person or two. (laughs) - That'd be nice. - They grill that bitch up in a second, dude. - Much that thing. - They get some fucking Tennessee weiner in the mail. (laughs) - They look real, let's put mine on a toothpick and serve it at a party with others. But yeah, though. (laughs) - They be like, glizzy, glizzy. - No, it's, that's a glizzy. - It's a frizzy. - But that is sad, man. It's like, yeah, it's a way here, the Uber driver. He's like, we need a revolution. You, podcast guy. - He was put, you ain't pumped up. - Yeah, no, he's trying to get me to fucking do something like, dude, I'm fucking trying to go, I'm going to work, dude. - He's probably CIA, honestly. - He could have been a fucking cop, it's my massage. (laughs) - But it was just kind of crazy. He's like, we need a revolution, yeah. 'Cause he's like, hey, as you're gonna come, it's gonna be all way mo's, we won't have a job, you know? - That's true, too. Yeah, that stops coming, man, for sure. That's gonna be weird, I mean, it is gonna be, you're not scared of it though, you said. No, not really, I mean, it's like, I, well, here's the thing, it's like, if I felt like it was coming and it would just like, destroy my livelihood, I'd obviously be afraid of that. I don't think it is, and I feel bad if it does, but I feel like, maybe this is me just being hopeful, it will kind of engender some like massive change where people then have to like learn how to, you know, like, do we start just sharing stuff so everyone has what they need? Like, literally, what are you doing with that? That, you know, people go, that's communist, it's like, yeah, obviously, but it's like, if it wipes out just like nine industries at once and you have millions and millions of people who could work, there's no point from them to do it, it's like, what do you do? Like, what do you do then? And it's like, are they gonna have to just like, invent weird, like, almost like fake jobs, or people are gonna get paid just to kind of vibe out? I don't know, I'm personally kind of curious to see where it goes, 'cause it's like, you're not gonna fight the AI stuff. Everyone's like, we're gonna stop it, it's like, no, you're not. If it saves big corporations money, it's coming. They're going to do that. Nandid becomes like, what do you do? And I guess like, you know, yeah, I could get now that I think about it. It's like, well, maybe the billionaires will like, give us some money. I'm like, well, they said, you think they will? Well, that's what they've said, is that they, people would get some sort of a stipend or some sort of a universal basic income or some sort of a token that they could use for things, like for, which is crazy to hear. Like Altman said, this sort of shit, there's a king then. So then we'd have kings, which again, if we go back to some like futuristic medieval, like, surf slords, kings, knights, could be chill. I don't know, again, I don't know, there's probably people who like, fuck you. Could be chill though. Could be chill, dude. You get the like, I get to just be in my garden, light fires and just kind of like, think about the glory of the king. And yeah, king Sam Altman, king Altman. (laughing) He cuts my fucking head off. And he cuts your fucking ram down. (laughing) He cuts your hard drive down to fucking 30 megabytes a month. - No more questions about your garden. I'm sorry, my lord. - And then that thing comes through where you throw the dead, people just on it, like if you're neighbor dies. Remember back in the, like, in the, (laughing) they were like, the wheelbarrow, the dead part or whatever. - Yeah. - Yeah, I fight. I think, and this is my, again, this is for shitty. - Oh shit, he had my fucking ear pods in his pocket. - We put him on the fucking head cart. - This is me being a boy. - Hey, hey, hey. - Humanity. - Check the fucking, it's a fat guy. (laughing) - You had a phone on your device. Yeah, I feel like, you know, every society rises and then falls in a terrible cataclysm. That's like, there hasn't been one that's made it out of it yet. So like, maybe, it's like with COVID. There was, it was COVID was bad, but it also did kind of shake people out of that, like, dull, thoughtless malaise. That so many people are trapped in just like a meaningless existence they kind of hate. So I'm hoping the AI shakes the cage enough where people can kind of come out of it, but then we don't all just like fall into like complete chaos and start like killing each other. - Yeah. - I think there's a sweet spot. So I'm hoping it kind of shakes it just a little bit. That makes sense. - Yeah. - So that's my hope, but it's like, yeah, then it's like, well, maybe the billionaire will be generous. I'm like, hmm. - To me, it feels like they, they want us poisoned enough, right? It's obviously, there's so much to this, yeah, I don't fucking water, fluoride makes people dumb, like if you have water in your water, you're dumber. - Yeah, yeah. - Which is crazy, dude. But like, they want us to be dumb enough and like not have any fucking balls or want to do, and so you just are kind of like in this sort of wheel and you're comfortable in the wheel. And the amazing thing to me sometimes is how comfortable a lot of us are in the wheel, including myself. - Oh yeah. - You're like, you know what? I could go out there and protest sometimes or I could do this or, you know, but, I could just sit here and watch March Madness, you know, just got some new mass of chips. I got some fucking good ranchers nuggets in the mail. - Massage chips are nice, bro. I love those things. - They're nice. If you eat too many of them, though? - Yeah, that's a fucked up billion. - And I don't eat them anymore. I had like six bags or in a row or whatever. I can't have them anymore. - No, you eat the whole bag and you're like, I just ate a pound of beef, tello. What's like having gin when you're a kid or whatever you can't have anymore? - Yeah. - But it's like that for me. It just kind of burnt out. - Well, the thing that I'm hopeful about is that like, you know, because if it becomes like, if money becomes a weird thing where it's like, there's UBI and like, you do have these like rich, billionaire overlords, like, money's the thing. If you have enough of it, it kind of like, you know, pumps up your ego to where you're like, yeah, I did it on the man. I've always wondered if we could somehow trick like, ultra-rich like billionaire types into being like, no, the real flex is like, putting like nine million people on like assistance and making like a cool, future peaceful village and like, getting them to think like, yeah, that would be cool if I did that. Like, why wouldn't we do that? You just have to make up their nerds. Like, so like Zuckerberg, you'd be like, dude, instead of like attacking them, be like, dude, actually, Zuckerberg's super jacked and super tough and cool at Jiu-Jitsu and just like, giving the nerds everyone like, yeah, we love you guys. And maybe they'll just like, you know, use billions of dollars to terraform the earth into like a cool, hobbit world. I don't know. - Now, now I'm just, I don't know. When you start to wonder, is it an evil autism? - That's out there. - Yeah, we need to give them, we need, yeah, exactly. I think you could be completely right. Because yeah, to think that you'd have billions of dollars and other people don't have anything is pretty crazy. - Yeah, but that's the thing though, 'cause it's like, I think about that all the time and it's like, White House turns down Elon Musk all for to pay TSA agents during DHS shutdown. - Why? - That thing was like, well, yeah, we can't pay the TSA guy. This is, I'm single.
issue voter and its wait times at airports currently, but it's like, dude, just take the TSA out of that, because they're trying to both pass these like big deals where it's like, well, we'll do the TSA, but you have to agree to this. Right. Both are doing his omnibus bills. Yeah. It's like, take TSA out of it. You guys can go, okay, let's fund TSA. Okay. Back to arguing about bullshit forever. It's, it's just, that shit pisses me off. Yeah. Musk, the CEO of Tesla and owner of Social Media Platform X, offered to pay the salaries on Saturday. I would like to offer to pay the salaries of TSA personnel during this funding impasse. That is negatively affecting the lives of so many Americans that airports throughout the country who are on that president Trump said money that he would love it. If Musk paid the agent salaries, I think it's great. Let him do that. The offer for Musk was also warmly received by lawmakers. But then this is the, here's the problem is, you know, I pay him. Right. John Federman said the offer was incredibly generous in his response to the post TSA is in scrolls country relying on food, pantries and community donations just to get by. The DHS officials told House lawmakers wanted it over 480, 480 airport screeners have quits since the beginning of the shutdown and that the agency is expected to lose $1 billion in mispay checks by the end of this week. Dude, Timothy Mellon, error of Mellon Banking, shout out Pittsburgh donated $130 million to pay the military during the 43 day long government shutdown from October to November. What's crazy is this could be a trap because then you're letting kind of X or Tesla become this privatized, you know, because you know, you're kind of privatizing airport security. Yeah. Well, do you realize it a little bit or not? You're saying, okay, I will let him pay these salaries. Then he comes in and says, well, how about this? Why don't I just, why don't Tesla just manage airport security? Yeah. You can probably do it so much more efficiently. Yeah. And so that's the, like, I'm not, which I'm not saying would be bad. I'm just saying that's where things get kind of risky. A lot of times like offers like that. There's this kind of caveat of hopeful business on the line, dude, I didn't know this until recently. Public transportation in Chicago and like, I think the late 1800s. There's all public company or private companies. So like you would just own, like, you know, whatever, like in fear of New York, it was like, but it's Chicago. Like the L train. That was the guy who owned the L train, everyone who paid tickets, all the money went to him. And there was another guy who owned like the Northside public and they all eventually the city came and was like, guys, give me this. That was like that. It was like that for a while. It was like incredibly competitive and corrupt and you'd have to lobby the government to like pass your thing and you pay people off and you just collected all the fares personally. Didn't like, didn't even go to the city. So yeah, it's a, that is a tricky thing though, because they can, you know, then they can start doing their weird, like, credit card, I mean, you don't get great customer service with government agencies. No, I do. Even in the post office. Post office is crazy. I was there, but there was a, there was like this sister that was working in there. She's fucking fighting with a bird that's in there trying to steal like a fucking thing a tape or whatever. And I'm like, like in the little gift section area, I'm like, there's nobody else in there too. When going by is just fucking unbelievable. There's an Asian duty peeked up out of the back for like a second they got with the mustache. Dude, it's fucking, the catfish looking, one of those packaged catfishes. He's just back there. He swims up to the fucking door and peeks around just to make sure he's not nobody's looking for him and fucking goes back into the fucking hide behind the seven day certified male. You'll never see him for like 40 more years. He's just a hide for 40 more years. He's like, he's like, he saw his own shadows and got 11 more months of fucking being on the clock on the government's dime. I see mail all of our merch for like in the beginning. I would mail all of our merch personally. So I started going to the post office with just like boxes of like 45, 50, 60 shirts already wrapped up and like I got to know the people there pretty well, but it was like at first I would just show up before they knew me they'd be like, what are you doing to us? And then they eventually gave me another address where I could just like drop it off at the like hub and they would just take them like a big thing at once and just throw them at the thing. But it was funny. I used to go there and they let me like come towards the back and dump it in. Fuck yeah, it's kind of cool to see it behind the scenes. It was cool, but it was just, it's very, it is like chill time. If there's a line of the post office people are like, okay, it's like DMV mentality. You're like, yeah, whatever man. You don't care. They don't feel lines. No, they really, they really, they only feel lines on one side of the counter. The other side of the counter, they don't feel that line. No, it's not a restaurant where you're like, oh, fuck, people are going to leave you. It's like, yeah, fuck it. Go use fucking something else. Public transit in Chicago, shipped it from private to public control in the mid 20th century centered on their creation of the Chicago Transit Authority, the CTA in the 1940s. The Illinois General Assembly passes the Metropolitan Transit Authority Act in 1945. The CTA took over the big private rail and streetcar systems and effectively complete, completed for a city service in 1992 with the motor coach purchase. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. That's when it happened. True. I say you've been doing some history pods. Yeah, on my Patreon. I've been doing, I've been getting deep into like the Kinkisador era, like the Spaniards going first to like UKitan in Mexico to like, you know, they like when Cortez kind of took over the Aztecs. And then there's another guy who like navigated the Amazon River like later on and they like the Pazaros took out the Incan Empire. Those stories are like insane. And I've talked to the author who wrote both the books I was talking about and we're both agreeing. It's like, dude, that's a movie. I talked to this other guy about this too where it's like the fact that there's no movie about that yet is insane because it is like, especially Cortez taking over the Aztecs. It's the craziest story because everyone's like, oh yeah, he showed up and like tricked Montezuma and like they did do that, but it was like, it was like a multi-year effort. They had like brutal battles. It was, it went on like forever and they were like inside Tennessee, which was like the city of the Aztecs. Dude, that was like a brutal siege. They barely escaped. Had to come back and attack it again. It was absolutely insane. Were they bad people that they were attacking or they were just people that they wanted their land or it was just like during that colonial times? It was, it was a little bit of everything. It was definitely a door in the colonial times, the Spaniards definitely just wanted gold. They were like, yeah, you guys have gold, we're taking the shit. Cortez wasn't even supposed to do it. He was sent by another guy, Velazquez, who was like, take this flotilla of ships, is they were in like, where's it like Cuba maybe or somewhere? And they were like, he was like, I want you to scout this Mexico or whatever place and I, you know, see if they have any gold or slaves and you know, bring them back to me. That's crazy dude. Dude, so Cortez is like, for sure, he was just took 13 ships and was like, fuck that guy, I'm going on an expedition to conquer. So he just, it was like completely illegal, you know, it was all like fucked up, but he just was like, I'm doing my own thing, like a, like a pirate basically. Yeah, it's like when you bar, like when your dad's like, hey, go fill my car with gas, but you take it to a seer girl. Yeah, it'll do it for like the ultimate version. It's, if like if he gave you a fleet of like trucks and you're like, yo, let's go. Or, you know, and it was like, he just rolled up there with three, three hundred, four hundred guys and they just battled and just battled and like made a lion. That was a thing that helped them. They made so many alliances with different people that hated the Aztecs and it was like, you know, everyone's like the Spaniards, you know, they did some stuff that was obviously horrible. But the problem was in like the Aztec times, it was all kind of like you could tan Peninsula of Southern Mexico up into like Central. And so you were just being a village and the Aztec chiefs would be like, yo, it's time for taxes, but their taxes were sacrifice victims. So they would come down and be like, give us like 30 people. So you'd be living together and they'd be like, yeah, we're going to fucking chop you up, chop you up. Let's go. They would have snagged most of your babes and he'd be like, fuck, so then Cortez comes and they're like, yeah, I'll help you fuck those guys up. So they're all were like kind of against each other. And then like the thing that really kind of like, it's fucked up, it would make me laugh. They would befriend the natives there and the natives be like, you guys seem cool, want to see something cool that we like and they would take them to one of these like religious temples. It would just be like a dog with its head bashed in like little kids bones of like, yeah, we fucking chop that dog's head off and they'd be like, what the fuck? What are you guys doing? What's wrong with you guys? Like, you know, and they say the Spaniards exaggerated a lot of the sacrifice and but it was like, it was definitely on the books and like, so they got there and they were like greedily looking for gold. But then they'd be like, these guys are chopping off kids heads and kicking them down the steps. They're like, fuck these guys. That's kind of how they were thinking. I'm serious. These guys need Jesus. We're going to kill them and turn them into slaves and give them Jesus and take their gold and we're doing a good thing. So it was like, it was kind of fucked up all around on it in my opinion, but like nobody knew. It was bad. So do you think like it kind of goes to an overall idea of like, yeah, do you think that like a human existence is like a trial to see of like good versus evil or like, like I wonder what it is, you know? And then, you know, as things start to get weird and stuff, then you start realizing when most countries always live under like some severe oppression with no hope of like a lot of freedoms, with not even the ability to express themselves in some ways. Oh, dude. Sure. Yeah. You start to realize that like, I don't know. I just, yeah. You wonder like it. And then you start to think, well, how does this end like, does this end well? But then if that, if if you had groups at that time, if you had Cortez traveling around and realizing, okay, we believe these are bad people. We need to bring them into some sort of enlightenment of understanding. Is that the right way? You know, it's just, I don't know. No, it dude. It's really tricky. They were legally also, they were legally bound, so you'd roll into a village and like, you'd hope they're peaceful. Otherwise, you're just doing battle. I think that first 10 minutes, it's got to be a tough, very tough, but luckily for them, they'd roll up, dude. They'd roll up in like, on a horse, which first of all, the Aztecs, they would see it per any, there's the minds are there as well, but they would like, they would see a dude in metal on a horse and think this was like some new type of, yeah, they never saw, yeah, they never saw someone riding a horse. So they thought the man and the horse became like one weird creature and they were like, the fuck it would just come at you 30 miles an hour.
with a steel sword and it's like, it was terrifying. And then, like, cannon fire. Does that help them out a lot? But yeah, they just thought they were like aliens. They didn't know what the fuck they were. They were like, and then, you know, they killed a couple of the Spaniards and they're like, "Oh, we can kill these guys." And they were, you know, munch 'em. So, wow, it's munch 'em a little bit. But yeah, it was, dude, history's been brutal. And it is getting things do seem to be getting better overall. Like, that dude, that's rolling into a village. You're like, "I'm hungry, I want some gold." Fucking, you know, Cortez wouldn't, he would be like, nice enough, but then as soon as people started fucking with him, he would like, fucking burn villages down, burn people alive, and it's like brutal stuff. That's a, dude, that's a crazy mix of, I'm hungry, I want some gold. Yeah, well, they would be starving. They would be walking, walking, walking. Like, fuck, we don't have enough food. And they'd, you just see a village, like, we gotta go munch these guys' shit. Dude, and bro, you think there was hot babes back then at that time? For sure. Oh yeah, 100%. I mean, they're, probably healthier babes. Healthy, I mean, yeah, true, I mean, but here's the thing though, it's like, it's all relative because like, you know, you're, like, these guys are all by the way, like 21, 22. So you're a 22 year old Spanish guy in 1600s, or, you know, late 1500s. There's guys probably, they're all like legendary nofafs. All of them, they probably weren't like beating off every day to Pornhub. And these guys are, the chambers fully fucking cocked. Yeah. So yeah, they were probably like, any, they probably, you know, there's obviously a lot of brutal rape and stuff going on, but like, but yeah, Cortez famously, in one of the battles, they like, the general handed him, like, here's a bunch of women, like blah, blah, blah. And the one of them happened to be a former princess from like one of the chiefdoms who then got sold into sex slavery by like, you know, a warring tribe who then got given to Cortez as like, you know, a sex slave, but she happened to be a princess, Malinche, who like was like, honestly, one of the key figures who helped him translate all the languages that he can move about. Like, I don't know if he could have done it without her. It's pretty crazy. Wow. They became a lovers, man. They were like, they were thickest thieves. And Cortez had a wife the whole time living in Cuba. So when his wife, after he finally won, he finally wins over. He defeats the Aztec empire, takes it over himself. That's great. His wife comes over to visit him. She's like, all right, this fucking guy's been gone. I don't know what the hell he is, been gone for two years. Cortez has a child with his new babe, who like, been through it all with him. Yeah. And his wife shows up, kind of gives him an earful. Dude, he choked her to death. And he's just, that was just his baby. It was pretty fucking brutal. Damn. That's pretty brutal shit, man. Yeah, that's a crazy love story. It's the bizarras love trial. But dude, if you've got a conqueror's a bunch of shit like that, you got to chill the first week or something. Dude, you can't just be coming up. Yeah, you can't get out the car mounted off. (laughing) Literally, it was like a savage conquest. And it was like, you know, he's there with all of his bros. And like, he was also, he had made this alliances with these other, like, you know, indigenous factions who like, when they beat the Aztecs finally, they all had a party the night of. And they're, you know, the Spaniards was like, "Drink in, fucking around." Dude, these Aztecs dudes were like, cutting off their enemy skin and like, walking around in it. And like, you're just all party. They had like a brutal fucked up, like two-day party that they all woke up from. And we're like, let's say, mass right now. That was kind of wild. And then his wife came to visit, mouthed off. And he just, killed her. Damn. That's a fucked up story. It is. But it's kind of, it's the story that we keep living. It's this crazy like that, you know, you don't know who's supposed to be like the righteous ones, who's supposed to win, what the whole thing is, who's doing things in the name of the right purpose, you know, you're trying to go off of some moral calculations that you feel like you have. But then we're all like immoral. We're all like broken people. So it's like, I don't know, man. Well, that's, that's the thing too. Like I said, I try to like, you know, keep like, at least an open mind to like, all right, well, even with Iran, it's like, we'll say they do make a nuclear weapon and then they drop it on whoever. It's like, yeah, maybe they have this style, I don't know. But it's like, but they're dropping it. They're not, they're not dropping it. Or they're just going to use it to get like a seat at the table. I think that's what people do with nukes. You make them and you're like, all right, can we fucking, we get at the big boy table now? Yeah, I fucking get in here. So yeah, I don't know, you know what I mean? I have no idea if it's going to be crazy. Now, do you also got to think, no, do you also think though? You can kind of see how like these fucking mega lords and tech lords and shit, like, um, like, they start to just sit around on the like, they all got in the room like, dude, we're the fucking, we own the world, right? They have, there's no way they don't do it, right? You're 100% right. And they be like, well, we should obviously make sure the world stays like this, that we own it. Let's keep everybody fucking dumb. Let's keep doing this shit. And let's keep bossing out and drinking a kid day or whatever until we live forever, you know? Like, I just feel like there's got to be, that has to be like. And then you, because you start to wonder how could people at a certain level get to that, but they must think, well, if I'm this fortunate, this must, God must want me to, you know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, because if you have been so fortunate and you do have a religious beliefs, and your ego gets involved, I could see how you could end up on that road. - For sure. - They, God wants me to do things this way. And then you start just fine, whatever you do. Or, or it's the opposite, you have no religious convictions at all. And you go like, this is, it's just, you know, it's like the, those people who look at the world where it's like, yeah, strongest person wins, the whole point of life is to be comfortable and like in a dominant position. And then like, there's people who have that, that's like generally their philosophy. So like, yeah, I'll just leverage technology to gain more and more power to my advantage. And it's like, that shit's scary. Especially when they get into like the realistic possibility of becoming biologically immortal. And you're like, fuck dude, like I just want to grow my radishes, man. There's so many grow my radishes. - Yeah. - It's, it's freaked out, man. It is really freaked out. But it's also like, I don't think there's a lot of peace, though. If you're like running some cyber-tronic fucking war surveillance apparatus, I don't think those guys are chill, and I don't think they feel good. I think some of them don't feel. - Yeah, that's fucking that stuff. - So that's the scary part is they don't have the thing. - Yeah, I think you're actually right about that. Like to them, it's all a fucking game when they die. They just short circuitry. You know what I'm saying? They don't have like a lot of these people that feels like don't have something. No, yeah, you could be right about that. But yeah, man, I agree. It's like, get back to what can you control, right? So you make a garden. You go in a nice walk. You spend some time with your neighbors. You do things that feel good while you're alive. You know, we didn't create the world. Where does here in it? And yeah, I don't know. - It's all cyclical too, man. It's like, it'll, it's gonna rise and fall. And you know, it's again, it's the problem. It's like, yeah, hopefully this time. This isn't the time where like everything pops off, and we all just get wiped out in a hot flash. It's like, that is, that's scary. But like, what are you gonna like run into the White House and just get like shot in the face by a secret security? It's just like, you have to just chill. It's like, nothing you can really do. Let me see this. Steven Pinker argues that by most measurable indicators, violence, health, wealth, rights, and knowledge, humans are doing better now than in any previous time, even though it feels like things are getting worse. I don't fucking believe that guy. - Well, I mean, it's like, yeah, there's probably less kind of crime and like, large scale violence. It's just, it's probably just the information. You get bombarded with just like, all this horrible shit. - Right. And I think there's still like, you know, news outlets or it's all, everything is, I believe that this is, it depends on what you mean. If you don't care about existing and like, feeling like, you can grow as a human, then maybe so. I thought we were past some of this like old school colonial shit. We're just gonna, you know, you think we would get past that? - Yeah. - But, not just same thing. They're gonna, they did it with our actor. They're gonna go, oh, there's like an existential threat. Like, try to think back on since, but America knows it's not true now. We know it's not true. - That's the problem. - And it's not our, nobody's upset at our soldiers or anything. That it's just the people putting them out there in harm's way. And to think about this shit. - Well, it's like, dude, think about a time that there hasn't been a giant, looming existential threat overhead. - I know. - Since like, literally the atom bomb. It was like terrorism was the big one. And that was like the Iraq war, you know, back in like, when I, before that, it was just like Fox News, but parents would watch it and it would just be like, crime in the city. It'd be like, the inner cities are out of control. They're gonna come kill you. - Always. - And then it was just like, terrorists are gonna come fucking kill you. And then it was unsolved mysteries. - Yeah. - And then they threw that there in the middle. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, then there was unsolved mysteries. Unsolved mysteries was fucking good though. I like-- - Fuck, it was banging. - Maybe you. - Yeah. - To help solve a mystery. - And do we go outside and fucking look for missing people in our area? We're like, are you Rebecca Owens? - Sadly, I never stepped up to the plate. I was a pastor of unsolved mysteries. I never even tried. I kind of, I feel bad about that. - I used to collect all those wanting her in the missing cards and ones that came in the manual. - It's normal, yeah. - And I fucking look at those bits as I'm on this stool. - That's good. - I felt like I was like, 'cause I always wanted to find some of those missing or I always wanted to find like a dead body or something. - Yeah. I was just talking to a guy today. He does a, for a living. I had him on my show. For a living, he goes into bank-owned foreclosures. And his job is to like assess what bad, how bad of a condition it's in. And he's been multiple times come in just a dead body. And he said he was kind of like, you know, you gotta like give it a, you know, respectful nudge. And then you call it if like call the cops or whatever, come get it. You think the first time you nudge a light and then after a while you fucking get a little tough. Like the fourth and fifth time you fucking just give it a, I think you give it two solid, just like a hard knock. Just two. You gotta make sure. Just give it one and then just like gaze, it's waking up. Then no response to it. Yeah, it's a dead person. I'm gonna house the dead person by myself and I gotta call the cops. - Yeah, they must have had to get exterminator right here.
There you go, right there, dude. Is that J-Rod the electrician? (laughing) Shout out to J-Rod the electrician, dude, if you haven't followed that guy's journey, it's the best. But yeah, having a garden, doing things that build your own life up, they give you purpose, right? That's the thing. Let me do someone with my kids, let me fucking look at this dead rat, you know what I'm saying? But let me check out this dead rat space. Let me start a history podcast. Let me learn about journeys that were before me. You know, I think we have to start to create our own senses of purpose. We have to find new ones in our lives. - Yeah, man, I think that I totally agree. And it's like, you know, I just, for me, it's just like, I'm weary of the news apparatus, information, whenever I find myself getting angry, you know, it's again, it's just like, I start to ask myself, like, am I getting pulled into some weird thing? And I try to just like, you know, it gets, it sounds like a cop out, but like, stay out of that as much as possible. Like, what can I do? It's like, I'll try to make people laugh if I can and just make like, you know, some vaguely entertaining and some fashion stuff. - Yeah. - Just try to conduct myself and like, tend to the stuff around me cause it's like, I don't fucking know what the hell's going on. It's like, I don't, you know, I have no idea. I can, I can surmise and guess. And I, I think I have, you know, idea, but it's like, I don't know. So I try to just be like, look, man, that's, if someone calls me to ask me to help with the situation, I'll try to do what I can, but it's like, it's just, you know, you're almost like, sometimes I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels or it's just like, I'm getting like, kind of worked over a little bit where it's like, and these guys, they're in my head right now and that's like dangerous, man. Especially when you get like collective anger, you're just fucking, you can move that stuff around and like people, you can do stuff with it. And it's like, I'm always kind of weary where I'm like, I don't know, man. - Yeah, that's part of the trap too. You start to realize, well, this is part of the trap. They want us to be upset. - Yeah. - There's a reason why they have all this information that's out there is so much of it is still under control. That there's a reason why this little bit and this got leaked and it's like, yeah. I don't know, being alive is interesting, man. I will say you get to more and more interesting. - It does, I agree. The older you get, I think it does get more and more interesting for sure. I like getting older. A lot of people are always like, oh man, this sucks. I'm like, bro, I'm excited to be 50 dude. He's like, this is gonna be awesome. - You just got 40, man. - I know, I'm gonna be 40. I'm gonna chill and be 40, but it's like, I don't have the, I think it's cool. I don't know. Something about getting older is like, everyone, I guess when you start hurting all over it, it probably sucks, but I kind of dig it. Getting gray, I want to look like old as fuck as fast as possible. It's my goal right now. - Really? - I'm trying to age Max here. - Oh yeah, that's fucking dope, bro. This is a die job, by the way. I'm like jet black normally. - Is it really? - No, no, no, I'm really stressed out. (laughing) - Well, dude, thanks for coming in chat and with us, bro. - Dude, for sure, thanks. - Upcoming dates, the Fitzgerald theater for Matt McCusker, Hoyt Sherman Place, Des Moines, St. Paul, Phoenix Tucson, Phoenix and Tucson, and you guys got a show up Toronto. Oh, the Elgin's a cool spot, dude. - Toronto's been good, I'm happy with Toronto. - And Chicago, let's go. - Yeah, that's my, I'm stoked on that. - I'll do, thank you for that. - Yeah, dude, thanks for it. And I got to come and do you, you guys just show again when I'm back here. - Dude, please, please do it, be awesome. - Next time it's a, we got to come and do, we did that one last time with Lamar. - It was awesome, dude. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Dude, keys or whatever, I think it's cool. - Blonkeys was great. That was, I think that might have been an all-time episode for real. - That was awesome. - Yeah, dude, it's fun when you sit down. So thank you, bro, I appreciate it. Yeah, tell Brittany, thanks for inviting me to the party. For sure, it was a good time. - Thanks for coming. - Dude, it was great. I'm glad I got to see you and just be there for you. So many people love you. It's so funny, you're like the one guy when you say something like, "Oh, man, look, I'm supposed to be by God." He's a great guy, it's almost like you were dead. (laughing) But they say that shit about you while you were alive, it is gonna fucked up. I'm like, "God, if you were here right now, you would fucking hide on him." He was a great guy, it's nice to be getting eulogized. He's like, "Yeah, he was a great guy." When you get living eulogized, dude, I think you're doing a good job, man. Thank you for all your service to humanity, dude, and Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, and what's the new history podcast called? - It's just on our Patreon. Yeah, we just, that's just a thing I do on our Patreon. Shane was gone filming, so I had to like, I had to just read books, I had to rely on like cool books, you know, that was kind of weird, but it was like, I can't just make up stuff to talk about. - Yeah. - So yeah, I just had the books. - Yeah, man. - Thanks, bro. - Thank you for everything, dude, good to see you. - Dude, appreciate it, yeah, man. - Thank you. ♪ Now I'm just floating on the breeze ♪ ♪ And I feel I'm falling like these leaves ♪ ♪ I must be cornerstone ♪ ♪ Oh, but when I reach that ground ♪ ♪ I'll share this piece of mind ♪ ♪ I found I can feel it in my bones ♪ ♪ But it's gonna take ♪ [BLANK_AUDIO]
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