#638 - Kevin James

Today's guest is a comedian and an actor, you'll know him from everywhere, from grown-ups, King of Queens, Chuck and Larry, Paul Blart. His new movie is out that's right now in theaters. It's called "Solo Mio," and it's great if you want to go check it out. But right now, let's get to know Mr. Kevin James. ♪ If I win, I'll find a strong way ♪ ♪ I'll be standing on the steps of the world ♪ That's my coffee cap right there, "Condios" "Toros" is possible. "Cosibli" it is, yeah, what is the middle word? "Toro es" "Toro es" "Todo es" "Everything is" "Everything is?" That's cool. With God, everything is possible. What did yours say? Mine's pretty, I just have no answers, that's where it comes down to. Oh, yours is one of those mad-lib mugs, huh? Each day is something different. That's not Italian, but that's, that's almost sounds a little bit Italian like your movie. It does. It is very close. Deo. Deo? Like Rodney James Deo, like lock up the wall to me? Yes, yes. But much different. Yeah. I caught the wall. You ever listen to that? Yeah. That's for him. I mean, he was crazy, right? Yeah. I'm sure he's yelling lock up the walls. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. That's what you can't not be crazy in yelling lock up the walls. God, that album. My brother used to beat me to his music. That makes sense. It makes sense. You remember your first concert ever now? Yeah. It was Kiss. Oh. I saw Kiss in, it was like right after I think, maybe after Kiss Alive, it was like, it was after that or destroy one of them early, early albums. And I went with my buddy and I remember my buddy broke his arm and he wasn't going to be able to go, but we convinced him to go using a cast. So I was there with my mother and his mother and he was just rocking his cast the whole night to kiss. It was fun. God, that's good. It was a good one. There was nothing like that time when you were going to a freaking concert. Oh, yeah. We're just a kid and so like you got like if the air hitch in, it was dope and it just hit you. Everything was weird. Yeah, everything was crazy. What was your first concert? I went to, oh, Marilyn Manson and it was, yeah, they had a guy in our town and he took us over there. Me and other young kid dropped us off. You were there with this, with me, my buddy, this guy dropped us off. This religious guy or whatever. He dropped you off religious. Yeah. He had a car. Religion. He had a car. I don't know. Last Baptist, I think. I have no idea what it was. You know. I don't know, man. He's dropping you off of Marilyn Manson. Nothing decent. Oh, dude. I did take off fast. Like was he like, you go. Yeah. He's driving a convertible. Oh, wow. Yeah. He dropped us off. He said, he said he'd get us tickets there and we'd heard a couple of their songs and we were into them and we were underage when we got in, but it was like, being in a concert when you were a kid and everything was going on, if you were young, it was kind of, wow, because you were kind of free in this place that was caged. There was music. You know, sometimes it was like pod in the, you know, it was just like a lot. You know, people were like struggling around a new stimulus, right? Yeah. A lot of weird stuff that you, you know, you're a little bit scared, right? Yeah. You're a little bit scared, but you're excited. Yes. And then if you get, you know, somebody passes you something or your buddy brought something or whatever, then you get and lift it in now, dude, one time we ate something. I don't know what we had or something, you know, we caught a whiff or something and we might have brought it with us and lit it up, but whatever it was, it got into us. Not me. And dude, I couldn't, I couldn't see anymore, right? And I was like, oh, shit, but I still had to pee. Okay. That's one thing I noticed. If you can't see, you still have to, if you, yeah, one doesn't stop the other. Yeah. Right. I don't know. I couldn't see and I had to pee. How did you do it? Did you have it? Did you just kind of walk out with a friend? I remember the direction. Where you were. I remember the direction of the back of the venue and I put my hands like this, right? Oh, wow. And I was going back and I remember feeling like a badge and I was feeling like a cop. I'm sure he liked that. Oh, dude, I'm so glad he didn't like, you know, he recognized it. I was. Yeah. I wasn't doing well. Yeah. He saw you in a bad way and he helped you out. And I went into the bathroom. I thought I was a raccoon. Whatever, dude. Yeah. That was a long night. Anyway, Kevin James, good to see you, man. Good to see you. Yeah. You're a nice. Nice to be here. Thank you very much. Thanks for coming, man. I appreciate it. Did you guys go out? We saw each other. With the last night at your, you showed me and Nate Bargazzi and some other friends here in Nashville, your movie. Yeah. We just went out to dinner. Got it. Yeah, we just hung out. Had a good night. Would you go? Oh gosh. What was the name in a place? It was a Ganon? Ganon? Ganons. I don't think it was going to leak. I mean, we didn't think about to get there, right? We didn't. It was. Yeah, it was. It sounds nice. Yeah, it was cool. It was cool. Yeah, it was nice. They gave us a little room. And we just had fun. It was Prime Rib. Oh. It was everything, man. It was good. Did you have that white sauce with it? It did. It did. What is that? It's a. It's like a tartar. Yeah. But it's not. It's got a W. What is it? Or a horse radish? Horse radish. Not a W. I don't know from. But it's white. That's where it comes from. I mean, it's W. It was white. And it's horse radish. And it gave you the chunks of horse radish, which is like. That's like the. The nucleus of it. That's the burning. I've never seen that. You never. What are you talking about? Now, bring up. But we have a natural horse radish in its natural habitat. Yes. Yeah. And then. And then they have a white horse radish sauce that kind of blends it. See, that's the. That's the stuff. Yeah. God. That's good. Yeah. And you spread that over your Prime Rib? Oh. I love that. I just. I never know what it is, but they have it. And I love it. What's that? That right there? The horse radish. Yeah. I know. So you've had it. Oh, yeah. But I just forgot. Oh, what it is. But I know you only see what's wrong. Shrimp cocktail. No, you see what shrimp cocktail, too. Oh, that's the same. It makes. Yes. It comes out the same way. They give you the chunks of the thing. Do you do shrimp cocktail? Yeah. Do you do shrimp cocktails all the time? The shrimps are hanging out, showing their legs or whatever. The edge of the thing. Yeah. And you dip them in the thing. Dude, I had no idea that was the same thing. That's the wasabi version of whatever it is for this stuff. It's like wasabi. It's like a spicy hit that you do. It's really to get you to forget the fact that you're eating fish. Yeah. Yeah, I guess because some of it doesn't taste great or whatever. Yes. Horse radish is a perennial plant of the family Brasicais. Brasicais? Yeah. It's not a vegetable. It is. Oh, it is a root vegetable cultivated in use worldwide as a spice and as a condiment. Yeah, dude. I like that, man. I like it when I just really. But I only see what Prime Rib and I guess it. To me, that always look more like a milky or sauce with something different. Well, there's both. There's that. That's the. There's like little chunks when you see that. And then they give you like. It's like a cool whip. Like a mayonnaise style that blends with that. You put them both together. Oh, I haven't done that yet. And it gives you. Yeah, it's a good cover. I'm missing. Maybe I'm not looking around when I see that. Yeah. But I love that you get to talk to the person they cut it. Yes. It's a lot of fun. Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's a lot of fun. It was a good night, man. We have fun. We missed you. And thanks for coming. Yeah, dude. It was great to come over there and see the film and just see the. Have you seen it a bunch already? I've seen it a few times. Yeah. I mean, did you help edit it? Oh, gosh. Yeah. I did everything. Every step of the way we've been, you know, baby in this thing for a while now. So it's. It's. I'll keep seeing it. I'm going to see it again. And, you know, it's. It's basically just your baby, you know? You work it and you just try to bring it to everybody and you want it to be right. And I don't want to. You know, everybody. Like you. I want people to see it to, you know, to see what they think, what they can change. Oh, yeah. But. Now we're here. Oh, we felt the magic of it yesterday, man. It felt good. I love it. It's a. I don't want to give anything away. I mean, it's a love story. Yeah. It's got some sweet moments that were surprises, I thought. Good. You know? It definitely made me think like, dang, I got to get. You got to get into love, man. That's what it makes you feel hopeful that people are getting into love out there. Right. In Italy. And in Italy. Yes. That it's. Honestly, that's never too late. That it's like it really. I mean, I really. Later in life too. And it was. It's one of those things where it's like, it's possible for all, you know, like, people. They. When they get older, they start gripping the bat to get worried that I'm not with anybody. And so they don't know what it would make that decision to jump or what it. I'm just going to be alone. And I think when you loosen up and kind of relax and just give yourself up to, you know, giving a shot, you do better and, you know. Did you feel that ever? Oh, yeah. I was definitely. I got married at, like, 30. 39? I think, yeah. And I had it my first kid at 40. But. Do you still have your wife? Yeah. I'm her last night. Yeah, she was there. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Good. I kept it. I hope that was her, otherwise she wouldn't be happy hearing about it. No, no, no, no. That's our. Yeah. I mean, it's. 21 and change now. 21 years. Uh-oh. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. Four kids. It's fun. And is your wife from another country or parents might be? Well, she's Filipino and a little bit Alaskan Indian. - Dude, I love Filipinos. - Yeah, you do? - Dude, are you kidding me? How are you not? - Right? - Dude, they're the smiling people. - Yes, very happy people, very fun people, and they make lumpia. - And they make what? - Lumpia. - Oh, I never even heard of it. - Can you look up lumpia? - Lumpia is just-- - What is it like a dip or something? - It's like an egg roll from heaven. And you put it in the dip. And it's nothing like the horseradish one. It's a beautiful, sweetie, it could be a little spicy if you want, but it's a fun one. It's a good, it's a good, it wowed me, like, you know? - Yeah, I would mule one of those in my ass, I think, but those things look good for other. I'll tell you that, you know what I'm saying? But you brought one of those in a prison, you could sell it for a lot. - I don't know what it was going in. A lot went out in my ass, but, yeah. - Oh, dude, sorry. - God, no, those look that good. - Yeah, they're good, they're very good. - This is not a lot of food you'd put in, yeah, you know what I'm saying? 'Cause it's a total reverse route. That's like, you see somebody's driving up to the interstate the wrong way. You're like, what are they doing here? - How'd you get on this road? - Yeah, it's real good. - God, that's nice. Yes, see, I think if somebody tricked me enough with some sort of fancy little Oriental Baklava like that, they could get me to love them more. - Right. - You know what I'm saying? - Yes. - If somebody had a recipe of something that you just loved, I would give in more. But yeah, Filipinos, dude. I wish we were all Filipinos. - Yeah. - Sure. - 'Cause I think it would be great. - It would be great. - Name 60 bad Filipinos. - I can't name one. - I don't know any. - Yeah. - I really don't know what, I can't name one. - So are your kids a little bit Filipino too? - They have to be, I hope. 'Cause. - That's so good. - Yeah, they're fun. - Oh, I can't even imagine. - You should see them, you like 'em. - Oh, yeah, I'd love to see 'em sometime, but yeah, I would love to have in like a semi-Asian or all-phation, I don't know exactly what the terms with Filipinos. But I would love to have a child like that. - It's a cute mix. It's a fun, you know? - And they're so good. They seem like such good. - Good people. - Yeah, that's beautiful, dude. I know that you grew up over in New York. Oh, dude, I forgot to even tell you this. I saw the movie, when I first saw your movie, Solomio, it's called. - Yes. - I thought it was Salamiya. I thought it was a-- - Oh, that would be an old, yes. - Like a Marvel character you're doing. - By the way, I could do that one next. - Yeah. - That is not, Salamiya was the best guy. - I thought I was like, dude. - What is he doing? - I thought it was like-- - I thought it was not doing. - Salamiya, how did you guys not think of Salamiya? - I just thought it was like, oh, this is his like superhero type of guy, you know? - But did you think it was like just one word and it was an Italian word? Or did you think it was the meat? - Oh, I thought it was like the, like the master, like the-- - Like Salamiya. - Yeah, like Salamiya shows up in rescues like the Italian parade, or something happened at the Italian parade. - But is the Italian meat involved or is-- - No, it's his name. - No, it's his name. - Okay. - Does he have a cape? - Yeah, he may have a cape. - Yes. - He has a cape. Like maybe a fine perchetta or whatever. - Yeah. - Salamiya was insane. - Yeah, so anyway, I thought my glasses on when I saw that. - Yes. - Salamiya, that's crazy. I was like, but it's awesome. And if it's like I could see it, it'd be super exciting. Do you know I'm regretting every choice we made now that we did not go with Salamiya? It really is hitting me. Salamiya was, I don't know. - I hope from the land of Morta Del. - Yes. - Yes. - Your backstory could have been sick. But when I got there and I saw the image and it was like, oh, Salamiya. - Yes. - And it was good. - Yeah. - It was cool, man. It just made me think about love. It made me think about that kind of stuff. And like, yeah, just the choices that we make. I think I've watched a couple movies recently that kind of like got me and like certain things. - So you're single now. - Yeah. - Okay. And you're looking or you're just like, I'm-- - Yeah, I'm looking. You know, I got to get married at some point. - Right. - You know what kids? - Yeah. I think I want to have some children. - I love it. Yeah. Did you always want to have them, you think? - I did. - You did. - Yeah. I did. I always want to kids. And again, I was getting worried. I was, you know, 39. It was later for me and then four. But it's, you have so much time. You're going to have, you know, it's, you're great. You can go as long as you can and then you adopt or do whatever. It's, it's amazing. - Yeah. Some of the adopt, there's a lot of returns over there. You know what I'm saying? I'm not, I know judgment. And some of those are Russian. But people know it. It's on a chart. But yeah, dude, I do think, I know I would like to, you know? I think it's just to make a strike and get into that place. - Where? Go ahead. - Of myself and knowing, okay. I can do this, you know? And I have to, I have to really like fine tune my behaviors and what I, what I need to be doing and how I kind of put myself and take care of myself and everything. It's like, 'cause this is going to be a thing, you know? - Right, right. You want to stay in it, right? So you want to, are you putting yourself out there to, to, to, in the right places to see these people, to meet these people? 'Cause now you, I mean, it's it, because you're so famous now, it's like a, it's a different take out. You got to be careful, right? So. - I guess. - Probably date the same types of gals as when I wasn't popular, you know, I think, so that, I don't know if that changes. But I wouldn't date somebody. I think I would know if somebody was like, you know. - Right. I hope so. You definitely would, you would. - After me from a podcast outtakes or whatever you know. - Right, right, right. - So. - Right. - But yeah, I thought it was a great movie. It was really sweet, it had some good surprises. So yeah, I'm glad that, I, I left feeling glad that I went out and saw it. - That's good. - And it made me think about some things. That's one that I noticed something's nice for me, is if I leave and it makes me like, you know, kind of think about myself in certain situations or something. - Yeah. And hopefully uplift, uplift, uplift thing. If you know what I'm saying, if it feels, you know, that you can, that there's possibility out there, you know. - Oh, dude. And the singing, the part where you guys were singing, dude. I thought I was gonna turn into one of those like, at the Christian, I thought at the Christian, though it was gonna be like, there was gonna be one of those four, four K theaters or whatever, like the four D or whatever. - Yeah. - You know, like a huge thing like Posse Sons of it. - And then a fucking hit us all in the back of the head. - That's what I thought, dude. - That would happen, bro. - Dude, that in Salamiya. - What's your name? - Salamiya. - Salamiya, Salamiya. Okay, so it's Salamiya. - That's what I thought. - Oh, dude. - That's a guy. - How do we not do Salamiya? - Bro, I'll tell you this. - I want the leg muscles. - Oh, you got those. - No, I don't, man. I'm losing them. When you get older, you start losing the leg muscles. The abs I got, obviously, you know I have the abs and the biceps and all that stuff, but the leg muscles. - That's a lot of leg. - It is spotty fat. He's got a lot of clogged arteries. I like it, though, man. I'm in with this guy. - I think he's just, his only thing he does is just go to the doctor to get his levels checked. - Just battles of blood. - Dude, those are any of the muscles. That's just a chunk of gout. - Yes, that's all gout, cholesterol. - But no, dude, it was cool. So thank you so much for inviting me, man. It was enjoyable. It's a nice movie. You could take your lead. You know, you could take your lead, you go with your family. You go with almost anybody, really. - Right. - It was sweet. - Good. - It was sweet and good, man. Did you grew up in Minneapolis? - No, I was born in Minneapolis, I grew up out. Yeah, I bounced around Long Island for a little bit in New York Park. - Dude, you don't know this stuff. - We just had a fireman on. This is how I know this. We just had a fireman on, and he mentioned that you were from that area. 'Cause I said, well, Kevin just might be coming on. He's like, "Oh, he's from New York Park." And we had this guy, Tony Bonfiglio. He was, there he is right there. He was a firefighter during 9/11. He did 22 years on ladder 34, which was Washington Heights. And he just had the best stories about growing up in New York Park and where he went to like interview to be the fireman and him and his buddies just screwing around in the area and just going to like different music clubs and listening to cover bands and stuff like that. - Oh, I love it. - He's from New York, dude. - He's great, dude. - It was great. - Yeah, that's a lot of good people from there, really. Yeah, it's really cool. It's very fun. - It feels like that. - It is, it was fun growing up, man. Which for me helped and stand up and help and everything. Just had a good fun childhood. It was really, really cool, funny people. - Was your brother funny or something? You got a sister. - My brother was funny. First, he, he, he, he, he, yes. We're all funny. It's all the dinner table stuff. And you know, put on little shows when the relatives come over that type of stuff. And then eventually I was playing football in college and realized the dream. When you're, when you're not starting in division three. - Were you at O'Neill? - No, I was at courtland. And I never finished. I was, I was drinking a lot. You're like, we were partying up there. It was crazy. - Yeah, been up there by, uh, but that's up there by-- - Being Syracuse and all that stuff and-- - Courtland. - Ethica. - Ethica, it's, but didn't Ethica, isn't it? - No, it's, it's near Ethica. - Oh, bad. - Oh yeah, there I am. That was me playing football in, yeah. I think that that's high school, but yes. That was, when I played it and then once I realized there was guys so much better than me. I go, this is, I'm not gonna do this anymore. What do I do? - Did you have a nickname on a team or not? - I think it was the hydrant. - Are you a f--? - I don't think it was because of what you think. I think it was just a different reason. I don't know. I'm not sure where the reason for that. - That hydrant, huh? - Yeah, 'cause I was low. I was low to the ground and I wet myself a lot. - Yeah, yeah. - So, I mean, it was just, it was just a weird thing. But no, I mean, once I realized that wasn't going on anyway, I never finished Portland, too. I got out at college. - Did they give you an honorary thing like that in a mail or something? - They would give it to me now, but yeah, I don't wanna go back now. I don't wanna-- - I'll get you a degree, man. - Really? - Yeah. - I mean, I wouldn't say, I'm not gonna tell you not to get your education. - Yeah, maybe I should, right? No, I shouldn't. - For what? What am I gonna use it for? - I don't know. I got urban planning, that's mine. - Did you go to, do you finish college? - Yeah, I finished college, maybe almost 11 years. - Where'd you go? - I went to college. - 11 years for college? - I went offline also. - Oh, you did. - Yeah, I went to a lot of schools. I went to Arizona. - Well, I'll sit there, go. - I went to Santa Monica College. I went to university and then we went to-- - Why didn't you not finish at one? - LSU college Charleston. I don't know why. I just, oh, I started doing comedy, and I would hit the road, I'd be like, and then I'd have to pick back up and do a semester and like, it was just piecemeal. - Did you get into, like, through improv, or just right into stand-up? - Just got into stand-up. I was just like, you know, I think I, the first, Mark Gross, I think was the first comedian, maybe I ever saw, bring him up. - Bring him up a picture. - What year did you start? - I started in 2005. - Oh, my goodness. That is so crazy. I saw this guy perform, and I'd seen, like Chris Rock's my favorite comedian group. I'd seen like, you know, I'd seen comedy, but I'd never seen it live. And we went to college where it was like, at LSU they'd call you and be like, you got 33 tickets tonight. - Right, right. - Like, what? 'Cause it was paper in the room, but you'd be so excited. - Yeah, you just get a gift and-- - Yes. - So you go. - And I saw him and I was like-- - And it changed you. - Yeah, so I was like, oh, this can really be like a thing? That you wanted to do right away? Or you thought, look, I think I knew I wanted to do it. But I just, I liked being funny. And then I was like, oh, this can, like there's a real path. I just never connected the dots. I need like, dot to dot to dot. I need dots between the dots to connect them, you know? And yeah, so that made me like, start to, I think have the bug and then I got to L.A. And then I started just going up, you know? - Dude, I was in Vegas when I saw you when I heard about you, you know, I heard about you or saw you, your face was the whole side of the hotel. - Oh, yeah. - You remember did you see that, that was badass. I was like, who's this? I was like, my goodness. - I know. - Yeah, dude, and that was awesome. That's really cool, man. - That was cool. - That was crazy. - That's it. - Just to think that you saw that? - Still. - That's cool. - I was like, whoa, I don't get that. I never got-- - Yeah, yeah. - That was big, man. No, no, no, no, I'm serious. That was cool. - Yeah, some of that stuff is pretty cool. It's like impossible to live up to that kind of height. - That is, but it's still, man, that's cool, you know? - Yeah, stuff like that's kind of interesting. Sometimes, I guess. - Yeah, there it is. See it is. You know what, look at that, man. That's exactly what I saw. And I was like, whoa, this guy looks like salomeo. He looked at that look, right? That's a hero. - I'm looking for the shooter from that shooting that a few years ago. - That's right, that was rough. - Yeah, that was a surprise. Anyway, I fucking really ruined that comp of me. Forgive me, but thank you. - No, it's true. I remember seeing that being there Vegas and I was like, well, you know, it's an instant bit of like, who's this guy? Like a little bit of fear. - Oh, yeah. - This always, I was like, oh my gosh, this new guy, you know, I'm trying to fill this room. I hope I do well tonight. And this guy's got the side of a building. I'm like, good for him. - 'Cause we needed that much advertising. - Too much advertising. - That's what it was, that's true. - We started it small. We started on Temples. - Oh, I like it. - We're just handing him out on guitar picks. - Yeah, that's a great idea. - This episode is brought to you by Pepsi. And we've actually got their Super Bowl commercial that premiered last night. Let's take a look at it right here. Oh, blind taste test. The whole life's a blind taste test. This bears in therapy or barathy, I think they call it. I don't even know. Whatever this is about, I'm in. Cheap furniture. - Tell me about your mother. - Oh yeah, mother longing. Is this me? Staring at women through windows, yeah. Oh, that's sweet. That's nice. Let's go bear with your lady at a concert. Oh, that's a pretty cold play right there. Me and this bear are really similar drinking games, therapy, cheap furniture, and longing for a woman through a pain of glass, peeping tomming. We call it, but I guess in the animal kingdom, it's more of like a acceptable past time. All right, moving on. But actually kind of staying right here. Some of my friends bug me that I choose Pepsi over Coke. But there's actually been blind taste tests that prove that Pepsi's zero sugar tastes better than Coca-Cola's zero sugar. There's even a name for it. It's called the Pepsi Paradox. It's the idea that once bias and labels disappear, Cola drinkers prefer the taste of Pepsi's zero sugar. Yep, Pepsi first showed this 50 years ago with their iconic Pepsi challenge when they had people try Coke and Pepsi without the labels and the results were clear. When you take labels out of the equation and you just focus on taste, people choose Pepsi. I mean, that's what the Super Bowl commercial was showing. There's a blindfolded Cola loving polar bear and he chooses Pepsi zero sugar. Dude, my freaking blind cousin chooses Pepsi. He just emailed me. How can he email? Maybe he could Pepsi for a second. Hey, quiet down. Bad joke. It's the question that Pepsi's putting out there. Is your Cola choice actually about taste? Because they redid the Pepsi challenge in 2025. And guess what? 66% of people chose Pepsi zero sugar over Coca-Cola zero sugar. And it just makes you think, if nobody told you what you were supposed to like, what would you actually choose? The public has spoken. And Pepsi zero sugar tastes better than Coca-Cola zero sugar. If you're curious, go try Pepsi zero sugar. Let your taste decide. When your comedy first started, was it just something you wanted to do? Did you know it kind of? I know it's such an old question, but you and I don't really know each other. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I knew when I got out of college, I left college. I didn't, I didn't finish. I went home for the summer. And my brother started doing improv. And I was like, I was bouncing at the time and I didn't know what I wanted to do. But I didn't want to do this. I just wanted to try something. And I always follow him into other things. So he'd be like, ah, you coming into, whatever it is. So I ended up doing a small community theater play. And I said, then I started doing an improv group with him and their buddies. And I fell in love with it. And then they just progressed into stand-up. And I did my first stand-up. First night was in 1989, July 26, 1989. That's how long I've been doing it. And, no, I loved it. And I crushed the first night I ever did it, which I'm thankful for, because the second night, I ate it so bad with the same material. And I didn't know, and if I would have ate it first, I think I'd never would have done it again. But so I'm thankful that I did okay. And then, no, I love it, man. I love it. And then, you know, it was your brother weird about it that you came in and liked his thing. No, you know what, I gotta say, he was really cool about it. He actually, he would tell me, you want to do this? Okay, if you want to do this, come and do it. And I would start to do it. And back then, we would buy these calendars completely empty. And I was working at Granger, and it was like, my last day job, I was like, I wanted to get-- - Granger the awe equipment? - Yes, that's all I did. I was in the back, and it was hot as can be. And I had to fill orders, and I hated everything about it, because it was miserable. I was just trying to work my way up to the air conditioning. - Yeah, it's hella mice in there, too. - Everything in there, you know, so I'm just driving-- - Hella mice. Hella fork lift, and I'm working hard, and I'm trying to get, fill my calendar with these stand-up dates. And it would just be like once a week, or whatever it is. And then my brother called me one night, and he goes, what are you doing tonight? And I go, I'm staying home. And he's like, what, 'cause you have to sign up for, you know, open night, open night. - Yeah, you gotta sign up sometimes in advance, or that sort of thing. - Yeah, exactly, you gotta get there early. - He's like, why aren't you out of the club tonight? And I go, I didn't get a spot. He's like, that doesn't, oh, so what? Why aren't you going out there making something happen? Go look, and you know, somebody falls out, or you meet somebody, or talk to somebody. And I'm like, all right, and I went that night, and I met somebody, and I became my first agent, and so he was right, man, he helped me, you know, a lot, and he was cool with helping me out. - And he was the funny one, you said? - Yes, he was, I mean, we were all funny. The whole family was funny. He was the first one to start it, like to get going that direction. - 'Cause it's interesting how that happens. And I was like, yeah, like my brother was a funny guy, and so I think that's why I like, you know, I think I'm why I wanted to be like, yeah, you just, yeah, thinking you're just trying to like-- - Did your brother do stand up? - No, he was just like, probably just gestured for attention, like me, but he was also, you know, he was a funny guy. - Right. - There were a lot of funny guys in the new school that were like-- - He didn't get a stand up. Oh, dude. - Right? - That would be, I'm like, the best. - That would be the best, I was so glad you didn't do it. Oh, dude, my friend Scott was like the funniest kid to me, and I'm like, I am, some of the people are like, "Dude, you're funny, I'm like, dude, I, "there's so many people who just never really just went and did it." - Yeah, because, yeah, I mean, honestly, being funny with your, and making that leap to doing it in front of people and developing, it is a different thing though. It's like you've got to create it and kind of get used to, it's a different animal, right, when you're-- - Oh, yeah. - 'Cause I know my, my buddies are so funny, I got a buddy who's so funny, but when he doesn't, I go do that impression in front of someone else, he can't do it, he folds like a house, man. - Oh, yeah. He's just, it's rough, it's rough, and I look bad. - Oh, dude, the worst is when, oh, sometimes you do like-- look bad because of other people. I remember this, I dated this girl. She didn't know how to stand out of the way of where people were walking. - See, that would drive me nuts. - Oh, I would have to go hide in the bathroom. - No, that's brutal, that's-- - We'd be talking, she would like take a step back. I'm like, this is where all the people are walking and it was like, and people bump into her, and then guys would like, you know, and then it just like, oh. - I dated a girl who would take five seconds before she would realize that a waiter is there asking her for some, and every time. And I'd have to go, you know, he's looking at me, and she'd just be like this in a days, every time, five seconds, and then she'd come out of it. And I'm like, I can't go on. I can't go on. I couldn't be married to that. So I was like, there's no use in me being here. - It's the little things. Dude, I dated a girl that I was in love with, and then we kind of were kind of like canutling or snuggling whenever they used to call it. I think they don't call, I don't know why they don't call it that, but we're canutling, I guess, now it's called. And then, but her head was really small, she had big hair, and her head was so small. - Yeah. - And I was like, I don't-- - Did you like that, though? Or did you just was like, it was like a point where you go, I wanna help her and be with her, or, you know, or is it like that small? Or like-- - No. - Like like a, like how small, though? - Like it was just-- - It was just-- - The ballpoint pen, or are we talking like-- - You know with that day when you only knew about baseball, and then one day you're at PE and they show you softball. - Yes, okay. - And you get that ball and you're like, what the, what is this? - You know, and you're like, oh, this is like a baseball with like intestine issues, or whatever. - Right, I'm saying like-- - Yeah, it's a baseball with inflammation and-- - Yes, yes, it's a baseball that has, yeah, that has not had proper dieting. - My heart melts for the physical things more, but I dated a girl once who would just say the phrase, rattle your cage every time. She's like, hey, and I'm like, what are you doing? And she's like, I'm just calling a rattle at your cage. - That's a buddy of mine, Joe. He's so-- - Oh, it is, oh. - Well, it happened to a buddy of mine, but that is a thing that I would literally get out of. - Yeah, I'd be out. - Wouldn't that be something like that? She's like, hey, just calling a rattle at your cage. - I would fuck you. - No, no. - Rattle my phone against the wall. I would've rattle my frickin head out of it. - I would off a ballot. - Dude, yes, I would, oh, also, I dated a girl. We would be sleeping. She'd get up in the middle of the night, put a bunch of Eminem's and chocolate in her mouth and come right back in a fucking bed. She says, like, someone that can't fall back asleep unless she's chocolate in my mouth. And I was like, that's crazy. - Yeah, that's a lot of problems with that. - But it was, that was crazy, dude. I had had a girl who made me roll her up in a blanket so she could go to bed at night. Like, kind of style? - Yeah. Or like the Lumpia, yeah. - No way, it was like the Lumpia. - Yeah, I had a girl just, I didn't even realize that told just now. Did you have to unroll her in the morning or you just left him, no? - You just leave her? - Dude, I didn't even know her that well. - You can't get out. - Yeah, yeah. - Well, she doesn't have closerophobic issues, though. You know that, so if you're ever stuck in an elevator with her, you're the one you want to be with. - She's dying of my, yeah, you're right. I need to look at the other side of the coin. - Yes, but definitely-- - It's always a bright side. - Yeah. I sometimes get stuck on the other side. And I'm like, I know it's brighter over there, but-- - Yes. - I mean, mill around over here. - Yeah. - In the shadows, you know? Both. I mean, little head, you know, burrito girl. All these things can be there is a positive side to it, right? - Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude. I mean, I just, yeah, that was a lot for me. But then also, I'm like, I don't know. But there's a lot of things that I think had probably kept me kind of single over the years, you know? Did you ever, do you ever trouble in those matchmaking services or no? Because I get approached by those all the time now. - I was before them, I think. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe they existed. But, I mean, I was before the, I think the internet and all that crap. You know, I got married in 2003 or what was going on? 2004, I got married. Was that, what was around then? I don't even know if anything was around. But I never used them anyway. - Yeah. How would you even be able to floitering or whatever? - Yeah. You know, we tried, I mean, I met my wife on a blind date. I went, someone sent me up because Lyramini, who was on my show with me. - King of Williams, yeah. - She saw that I had nobody. She sent me up with. - No, so it was one of her good friends. - No, it wasn't her. She sent me up. She didn't send me up with a girl. She did over the years she tried to. But she sent me up with a house decorator because she came to my, when we had the King of Queens, I got my first place in, and she saw how it was decorated and it was terrible. I had like prong lambs and poster, like I was living with my brother. And it was like, she's like, you can't do this. You can't decorate it in my form. So she got a decorator for me, which I never knew about or anything like that, it wasn't me. And this decorator came into my life. She was a horrible decorator, but she set me up. She really was. She wasn't created. I didn't like it. But she saw that I was lonely and like I had nobody and she, she set me up with someone she knew. And it was like, it was amazing. - Did it change like that for you when you kind of realize like this is something? Because it's funny how you people go from a moment. I have a friend. She's a comedian. She was like, I don't know what's going to happen. I'm gonna sell my eggs, I'm gonna bury him over here, whatever you know. And then out of the blue, one day I called her to check out. I'm moving to Florida. We're getting married. And it's just like. - It can turn on a dime. - That's the thing. - It can. - That's the thing you had to remember. - And by the way, I think most of the time it does when you're not trying. Right? I mean, the thing you're not looking at. - Yes, they say. - Right? I don't know. I think for me, it did. I was just kind of locked and she was like, and I was like, I'll give it a shot. Never thinking anything would come of it. And then I never left her. That was it. Were you kind of a romantic guy? Are you kind of like that guy or.? - No. I don't think so. - I had to fake. She wanted to go out and we went to a sushi restaurant the first night and I never ate sushi. So she's like, do you eat sushi? I go, yeah. I lied right out of gate. Just for it because I wanted to make things smooth and we got there and it was just a rough. It was. - Oh yeah. - Everything you don't want to eat at a sushi restaurant made an appearance. It was rough. I had to fake it and get through it but I was drinking a lot of beer to get through it and kind of taking. I was taking it like a pill. You know, like I would take the sushi like a pill? - Yes. - And I got through that night. - You're holding it. - I was lying about everything. She's like, do you jog in the morning? I go, I jog every morning. I never jog. We started jogging and I was like, what the? I got to keep it up. And finally, we were close enough where I go, I got to tell you some things here. I don't do a lot of the stuff we've been doing, you know? I sit a lot more than we have been sitting and that was it. I was like. You know, I was in enough of the relationship though there where she was like good with it. Like we knew each other. So she's like, okay. And then the active thing kind of fell off and it was fun. - That's cool, man. - Yeah. You got it? Yeah. - How do you look in right now? - Right now, Max, you're trying to. - You don't need to get back into it again. I know you don't want to. - Yeah, no, Max, you're just trying to take a step back right now and I'm just going to spend a little bit of time with myself and see what's going on. - You working out? You taking care of yourself? - Yeah. - I'm doing pretty good, man. - I'm fasting today, actually. - You fasted yesterday? - Did you? Yes. - Let's go. - Let's go, baby. - Dude, yeah. I fasted today. I fasted it. Let me see. I did like three days last week. I just got into it this year. And so it's been interesting. I feel super dehydrated today. - Yeah. - But it's like, some days that happens. - That's the biggest thing. You got to replace the water. And by the way, if you do fast, the next day you don't go to Nashville. I just went to the deli here and crushed it. It was great. - Oh, yeah. - Well, that's the thing. I bounced back and forth. I can do a day fasting. And then the next day, you should just kind of be good on your body. Because it's like, it digested, like it's feeling good, and then you can't put crap back in. So I got to stop doing that. That's obviously the battle for me, the food, but that's awesome that you're fasting. - Yeah. I like it. - Dude, what are you fast for? You don't need to lose weight, so you're fasting for-- - Just for health reasons. Just because they say like autophagy, you're running it's into. And then it helps find like cancer cells and things like that. Like your body starts taking care of itself. And because my brain gets clear, I have noticed, it's funny, I just noticed this the other day. I think I'm having dreams that seem more relevant to like direction in my life and like some sort of like information, not all the time, but a little bit more than just like dream and then I'm like a tack in somebody with a knife, you know, like, you know, riding a neighbor right? - Exactly. - Regular shit or waiting in line or whatever. - Yes. - Yes. - Yes. - But you have dreams of waiting in line? - Oh, yeah. - Oh, dude. - Oh, dude. - Lou Ferigno's in a lot of them. - No. - Yeah. - You and Lou Ferigno are waiting in a line? - Yeah. - At the post office and his wife's mad at him. - No, at him or you? - Yeah. - At him. - Are you in front of him? - I don't mind him. - I'm behind him. - Yes. - Yeah, and you see it going on. - Yeah. - Relationship. And then is the lady behind the counter going like next? - Get there. - Never get there. - We never get there. - Dude, that is the greatest dream of all time. - Dude, I probably had it 300 times where I finally was, you ever had a dream so many times you're just on the edge of me and you wake up and you're like, what? - Yeah. - I've had it so many times. What is it, you know? - Yes. - And you're like, it's all about it. - Yeah. - Dude, yeah. That is one of a big one for me. - I love it. - But recent, I've been getting, I've just been getting a little more information. Anyway, I just think it's, I feel clearer in a lot of ways. It's helping me feel a little bit more inspired. I think to take care of myself because I think it starts to show me that I'm willing to make some sacrifices, even in little ways, that are-- - That's what it is. - Yeah. - And that's-- - Have you done it, Yura? - Yeah. I did fasting. Like, I do it every once in a while, I'll do it, but I did a really long one and it was great. - And then I got fat again. I told Rogen this. 41 and a half days just water and and and uh. But honestly I didn't rid myself of like I was doing it for like different like spiritual reason like I wanted to clear out everything and Because the whole journey I was watching like food pictures of food and going this is what I'm gonna eat when I'm done I can't wait to get back to I never really broke the habit of going. I don't need food. It doesn't matter I would feed you know I would cook food for my kids and the smell of food I'd be like hey, can I make you sandwich because I was living through that and I wouldn't eat it Now it's fine with that, but I need to see the food and hold it. I'd smell it You know and then I and I hand it off and It didn't break the the real bind you know I'm saying that the the chord of of being detached from from stuff You know and that's what I got to do in my life with everything, you know because I'm addicted a guy Like I'll just be like oh, I got to cut it off. That's it Yeah, I think that's what I'm doing kind of do trying to do with dating right now It's just like let me take a break from like if I put myself into a moment over here and I've been gay I mean this over here and then I'm going to maybe a date that I'm not interested in but maybe over here somebody I'm interested in but now I don't have time cuz I'm kind of dividing it up and then I'm Like I'm like let me just see what's going on Mm-hmm, you know that's you're at the factory, you know Yeah, by the way I had a dream that I was on the ledge of a building and I'm falling I've had this one a few times I'm falling but I never leave the ledge. I'm just yelling the whole time like I'm falling down You doing same? So I'm like But I didn't I never jumped Yeah, and then I wake up that one comes back anyway. I just want to throw that in there I'd be so pissed from down there I'm like what is this? Yeah, look at this pose. Yes, exactly. You're looking like is he doing it? Yeah, she's yelling. He's giving up. You know, he's got all the accoutremon, but no no fall Dude the weird guy at a suicide jump is the guy was just waiting down there Got it. Yes, they're just like this. I'm doing him. Yeah, that's what you should do because this guy's not either helping or Or pushing you know, either one. He's not doing anything either run upstairs do something make a move But he's just waiting He's that these are the people in life. We don't need eating in the guy that's eating and white eating if you get nachos And and you're pulling up and you're waiting for a guy to jump. Yeah Ledge to dream of standing on a ledge represents being on the verge of something is it? Yeah, someone else may be very close to finally making a big decision You may be feeling tense or experiencing anxiety about a difficult change Alternatively, a ledge may reflect how close you or someone else isn't close to going in a forestage. Wow Shit, I fuck I messed up the sense. It's okay. It doesn't because you know what it still kind of hits the area You know what I'm saying? I kind of got the gist of it. Yeah, thanks Yeah, it's crazy and you've been on this show before I did Joe show and I've no joke for Gotta be thirty five maybe more than thirty five years. I think we remember well, it's what's 1990? No, maybe thirty four years there. What is it with 90 90s? 36 years right twenty six. That's so wild. Yeah, yeah, I he's the one who got me I mean really with my manager and he's just he's always been the guy that's just like Go follow your own path, and you know, he was the one that got me out of yeah, he got me out of Did he always seem so confident? Yeah, he did he just did He was The one who got me at it. I was the stand-up comedian behind a mic with the you know the the sleeves pushed up in the bullow tie I don't know if you remember these comics these comics were the jackets the funny jackets the color And he just wasn't that guy. He was just a half backwards guy and just go out there and he always tell me like don't I was always like so desperate to get laughs and trying so hard and he was like You know don't don't give them your jokes on a platter like he was one of told me like basically make them comfortable And knowing that whatever you say you know is funny, and if they don't know like they got to catch up and be part of it You know right don't make it about the jokes make it be you. Yes. Yes. Yeah. He was such an Influence on so was he of that other people see him because now people see him. I mean and I really do like as a You know, I don't know if it's a pioneer as much, but like I mean he's the best in his space like in podcasting his stand-up is just I mean He's just a killer like he's always been you know, he's always he's just was like he's super super intense in anything He like once he locks on doing it. I think he just seems so confident. I told him I think like when he I think God's gonna Make him one of the greatest saints of the 21st century. I really do I think this guy and I keep saying because God's gonna use him He's like I don't know what to tell you. He just goes and he seeks truth and he's a guy that's just like when he seeks it He knows it's true. He's I'm like he just doesn't stop. Yeah, and it's like that's like he'll go social. He's he's crazy He's like I knew it was martial arts is Jits who we started he started Jits are together by the way. I'm a blue belt I'm a blue belt 30 something years. He's crazy black belt. He's beyond you know, he's dark black belt dude He's so he's he's a cap and a Negro. He is badass. He is the real deal. He really is and And he was getting into the internet before anybody and just searching these things in truth and that I mean he was crazy about it And I was just like I never I'm always behind the curve way behind it. Well, we need sleep I think he's like the kind of guy. It's like I don't know. He always just seems to me like he's so And he and I know he and I know each other pretty well now But he just is always go. He's always go and he's so curious and he remembers everything That's the craziest thing you can't lie to him because he remembers everything. Yes, so you're about to lie and you're like oh shit No, he's and he'll call you that's what I love about it. Like you know even me like I'm there. I know I'm for 30 36 years now Even with his podcast. It's like you gotta be kept because you'll be like what what do you mean? And it's like a dog You know, it's a dog that caught you and you're like Not, you know, and you gotta come you know, but I love that because he's in there's such an innocence behind that He just wants to know the truth. He's like that's not true. You didn't say that or you didn't do it So you got an oracle. I like I don't know if it's an or but he's kind of like a Mirror of something you know, I'm saying there is something about that. I think it's super I told you but some people give him a hard time whatever but up to to me He's always seem very altruistic as just to who he is, you know or trying to be the best of who he is It's not everybody falls everybody makes mistakes. He you know and does things wrong But I know this guy is searching for truth and he he he's always just calling it out and he's an astronaut man He's everything dude. Yeah, I was at the UFC the other day, and he brings these big bags of beef snacks And it's just beef and salt that's dried out beef and he brings it because he wants to get down from two percent to one percent He's always over there fucking, you know drinking fucking bat saliva or something doing something trying to get an upper Yeah, but anyway, yeah, there it is carnivore snacks So he has three bags and he gave one of Daniel Cormier and then Daniel traded one of his and Trading for what I had a tub of popcorn And he couldn't keep away from oh, I love it He's like my hand just keeps ending up in there DC. Yeah, but anyway, that was pretty great Dude, but I got to eat a whole bag of those beef snacks. How are they? You know what they're really good They're not too salty. So you don't get like like chip fatigue, right? Yeah, yeah Well, someone's like you chewing on the top of a shoe and it's just tiring. It's exhausting for the teeth Oh, and it's not like jerky jerky to me sometimes that a certain point seems like what are we doing? Yes, it's a give up you give up Yeah, but this is nothing like that That's cool. Yeah, and it feels kind of carnivoreous. I guess in a sense. Yeah, I enjoyed it, right, but it's fun Just seeing him over there with their snack, but sometimes you'll see Daniel Cormier over there. He'll have a thing of summer sauce Yeah, yeah, he and it's frickin February. He dips and he's over there to slice it at all You know, I love it. I love it. He's a good man He's he's like me and that he loves this food We got off the guy golf with yeah, he's a golf with him I did golf with him and Chris Wybin Chris Wybin loads you to by the way Chris Wybin is a cool guy. Yeah, he loves you. I had no Chris for long Island guy So he's oh the yeah, yeah, and Did you ever so whenever you were training? Was he training to always training with him in their group Ray Longo and over there Dude, that's cool. Yeah, they're fun. They're fun group Long Island is tough guys man. There's a lot of good guys came out of Long Island Yeah, so no, but it was it's you know font him and DC. We all went out golfed and had a blast and oh, does that mean next to Wybin? Yeah, why would you? Wybin is hilarious dude. He's got the best energy, bro. Yeah, he's a great guy. He's incredible and Yeah, he they have a great show now that they do too. Yes, you was just telling me that they're doing more and more with him He's and I said man. I'm so happy that he stopped fighting. I want to mall to stop fighting because I don't want anybody to hurt Like I you get to know all these guys like please don't fight anymore. I can't that's why I stopped watching I don't go anymore. I used to go all the time. Oh you did oh I wouldn't do it. There was no yeah I would go to these fights before anybody was even there. Oh wow. I would hear you know the stomping on the canvas There'd be nobody there. There'd be waiting. Yes. I love that I go in the quiet and you hear a crack of it You know a fist into a jaw or something or and I love I love every moment of it But I I just couldn't do it anymore because I would get to know these fighters and I was like I couldn't I'm Randy Couture and and You know a chuckle of Dell those fights. I just saw Chuck the author. He passed away and I was like holy shit Yeah, no, I couldn't look at you. You are there early. Oh dude. I go early dude. I love that last time I got there too early I love that man So you're not showing up at the main event going in there. I love I think this is a mate these are Like these people that are doing the thing that they love the most right and some of them in the early It's they're coming out for the first time into this UFC like and they come out of nobody's air And but do you see some of the best fights early? Yep. Yeah, I love it, dude Good for you. Yeah, that was it and then I would start to know these fighters and I couldn't watch them anymore I was there with Rich Franklin when he got knocked out by Anderson Silva and it just I was there was a wife You know watching this and just like you just stunned and I'm like I can't do this anymore. So I stopped going I couldn't do it. I don't want to see these guys in there. I was telling that we I wanted to say that I wanted to get Chris out of fighting because I was like He's had so many surgeries broken like you know all these things and it's like just he's a good looking guy Man do do you know get on TV and he's funny and he's you know personable So I'm glad to see he's doing TV stuff. Yeah, there's a lot of great guys over here Anger girls, it's been fun yet being associated with that whole thing has been just so exciting just to get to go watch it Mm-hmm, you know Do you train? No, I trained for a little while and then I just kept getting hurt It's like my ribs and I'd be having like in some fucking huge guy I'll be rolling over on something and I'm just like it was a lot so I think I'll do it again whenever I don't have so much Responsibility I got to do it when when this when they work out the smell you know, I'm saying the smell of the room Oh, yeah, I just I can't do it. It's not at 60 like when I was younger. I was like hey, you got to be it doesn't matter What it is you know, it's 60 you go? I don't I don't need to smell this anymore. You hit 60? Yeah, it's 60 No, not at all. Yes, you're a baby. I'm telling you I've been around a long time So what I'm saying is I don't need the smell of a Jiu-Jitsu room anymore. Yeah, I got it. I'll do it privately I'll do it like that way for a while and once you know because a wet ghee I don't think there's much worse than that going up against the guy with a wet right and you're like and you're in there And he's got your face and he's cranking it and and oh you got it's like like wet ghee and and chest hair That's past gay. It's past like a gay feeling. I think it's gay. It's not even it's beyond romance Yeah, it's not yeah, it's it's a control thing and it's just yes, I'm glad it could yeah, it's just not good and he got wet And then got cold and wet. Yes, that's a man. It's warm and wet at least you're like it's actually a bath Yeah, that feels like a little bit more like a bath would feel cold and wet is just it's bad in the smell Yeah, that's tough stuff dude. No, my favorite. No We've got another segment now brought to you by Pepsi You saw the bear the myth the legend in the Super Bowl commercial where he chose Pepsi zero sugar and now We've got him in studio here What's up bear First off, thanks for coming. I don't know how you got here. Well, actually we just had a huge freeze here. So I was like oh you can't talk Okay, I think what will be easiest to get to know you I think is if I ask you questions and you just use these paddles this or that Does that make sense to you? Okay Let's get started. Okay, I got to ask you out the gate big dog this female polar bears or that thick raccoons Female polar bears, huh? Okay, but if you get one of those snow racks going and show to you thing Okay, let's keep it moving This polar Express or that Tokyo Drift Tokyo Drift really oh Yeah, but Tom Hanks narrated polar Express Yeah, you're right kind of Dude, this is just for me. Have you ever had penguin? How is it? I knew it. They won't let us have it. Dude. What's your stripper name? You think What do you mean you live at the North Pole It's the biggest pole in the world. You never even thought about your stripper name It's the last thing you ate in the street you grew up on Yeah, I think so yours would probably like snow way Zero sugar Coming to the main glacier I like it. I like it zero sugar. That's what I'm talking about get that sugar out of here boy Don't be craze around me with that sugar. I don't want no sugar bell. I Want my bear to be sugar free sugar free Sorry something took over me. Oh Okay, that's not edible or you can I don't care. I think we have another one so this the first sip or that the last sip All sips All right, this is the last one. There's a big one this Coca-Cola zero sugar or that Pepsi zero sugar It's the truth Pepsi zero sugar taste better than Coca-Cola zero sugar That's his take that's my take but let your taste decide Hey, yeah Jeeps where you going Oh, wherever you want. I guess where does a polar bear sit wherever he wants Was it hard for you to adapt to married life once you got married? No No, once I once I found heart like it was like I remember I went away. I was with her for a while You know, it's like this is I knew this was it and it wasn't because I got to get married like that I could tell because I just didn't want to be away from her and I had to do I think a couple gigs or whatever was on the road for a while and she couldn't go and I just hated being away from her I was calling her and I was like wow, I gotta get back there, you know And had you had that feeling in a long time? I Had you know not not with who I you know was dating and and and going out with so no it wasn't there It was it was totally different. You just click on so many different levels and it's like it just becomes apparent like I man I got I need this person in my life. This is you know, they make me better too, you know They're you know, I'm saying they were like yeah, that's it. So it's she's she's amazing that way So that was it. I was like I'm done I'm happy Gosh. Oh, that's a great thing to say. Yeah. No, I am. It's amazing Yeah, when you get excited when you see your wife you get excited you give her a hug. It's Yeah, I'll give her a hug I love but sometimes you know, it's also it's not you know all the time. It's not crazy romantic all the you know Oh, yeah, it's life, you know, you're tired. It's like uh, you know, you just pass each other sometimes. It's you know It's a fist bump. It's like all right get out of it. Whatever it is, but uh, but I miss her this morning She left this morning, you know, we're out last night and then I was like, wow, you know It's it's it's you know, you're gonna have all those feelings. It's you know all all the the the emotions and and everything and all the cooking or this that the the things that you love them so much about It's it's a bounce of them all it's everything. It's the good. It's the bad and you just realize overall It's like I never want to be without them, you know, even in the in the worst moments. It's like so you know that and it's It's real you to keep you can fall in like a different type of love when you're like like in your late thirties or As you get older than you can when you're younger, you think oh first for me. I I think I'm mature I'm still not that mature, you know, I'm 16 and it's like so I still think like a kid like an idiot. So For me, I'm glad it happened later, you know, some people are able to To know what they want when they're younger and much more mature. I was not there, you know Yeah, I think and your career might not have happened the same. Yeah, that's for sure I needed to be kind of by myself and get it going and I don't left your family all the time to go or it would have just been really different within rough for sure Yeah, so I'm glad I got the grind out now. He'd take them with me if I'm, you know, doing a movie You know, I'm never away from him for that long, which is good Do you miss some of those days like the road days back in the day like you ever? Are there any of them that you kind of romanticize a little bit? I still do him, you know, it's like the days, but I mean like clubs that weren't it just like, you know I'm talking about like you know, like the condo and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah, like did you ever stay in miss your long condos? Oh, yeah, dude You ever stay in miss a walk over there? Where's that Indiana like right outside of Notre Dame's right there. No, no, but I made crazy crappy condos and stuff like that, but it was exciting It was me, my brother, a couple other guys comedians that we, you know, we would Rogan, you know, but never went on the road with Rogan, uh, but uh Yeah, it was great. It was fun. You know, you stay it because you know, like I used to Play the trumpet canna in Vegas and I was I never gambled. I never been a Vegas and I remember losing my My week you go there for a week. You do two shows a night for seven days, man You have to eat downstairs. Yes. Yes. Exactly in the back. There's no food and they're asking you for food. Yes. Yeah, exactly. It's rough But you're excited to be there It was like 103 degrees. This is I remember when oh Jay when they were chasing oh Jay I was in Vegas at the tropicala and uh, we were drinking. We got it Staying in your hotel. You can't know I think he getting maybe I don't know how much money he getting but I lost in the first night I've lost my entire week's worth of money. I'm not kidding. So we got a case of Bud Light Ice which was the beer then it was so good and frosty at a gas station. Remember that beer. Do you remember that they discontinued it was great? Yes. I liked it. I did too. Bud Light Ice and Picture of it. Can you please something what it looked like and they had met of there was a something dog at the same time another Oh yeah red dog. Yes. I love that. You know that was disgusting. It's supposed to be for like disabled. Bud Light Ice. There you go We got a case of that we sat in my in my hotel room and we just Pounded it and it was like still 103 degrees at night. I remember that and OJ was being chased or whatever It was just crazy. Dude. I remember I would be in my hotel one I remember what this one hotel I stayed at I think it was and Outside of Syracuse and like Liberty New York or something and they gave you a cup of water and And it was filled up and I got in the room. It was like a cup of water. I was like it wasn't even like a bottle of water And I was like oh that was for you if you're a hotel. Yeah Yeah, you're thirsty. We poured your cup of water and put it in there. Did you stay in some rough places? Yeah, just places where you like would have to walk on the interstate to get there Whatever the highway to get there. Just some places that were a little bit like what is going on here? I drove eight hours To a gig that I had to do one gig it was one night was making like no money I get there early before the gig and it's a crappy Motel type thing I Pulled the bed back to cuz I'm tired. Just drove eight hours could take a nap before the show Yeah, there's a roach in the in the blanket. I mean, I don't even know what it was this big I literally just put the blanket back. I went to the show I just sat in my car in the parking lot so the thing was ready. Did the show drove home eight hours man I'm not staying with a roach Couldn't do it. It's a miserable places. Yeah, dude I remember we were to save like a hundred dollars you flying with city that was like four hours or like if you could figure out the Pass and then drive here and get a lot ride then you're like oh, I'll just finish the show I'll drive and catch a fight out of Indianapolis at five eight. It's just like everything was like Did you do you have a buddy like a comic buddy that you go with or you by yourself? I didn't I was out there I'd always pee in the bed. I always pee on my cell phone once it came out. So I'd miss certain calls or a wake up alarms back that up Wait a second. What did you say? I would wet the bed. You would wet the bed. Yeah, I wet the bed Let's start with this one first and then we'll back it in there. Why is your cell phone in the bed? I would have it. No, I'd fall on the camera But that's not that close. You shouldn't have that close to you anyway Put that on there and by the way you would pee on it then but but why are you waiting the bed? I was wet in the bed We drunk or just let it go I was drunk and I wet the bed till I wet the bed for a long time. Okay, I was in it Just because you got used to it when you're younger and you're like, let's just keep going with it I can't remember dude. I just think I just was always so nervous Yeah, and whenever I was asleep at some point finally I wasn't nervous and my body's like well This is when we got a year and eight, you know, you seem like a guy that operate from a place of fear right everything and feel like I'm that way I don't know about you, but I get worried about everything or you're not worried about everything Oh, I would get worried like if I'm with a girl. There's like a moment of silence. It makes me so fuck you get a feel that I get so scared Yeah, I'm like I just don't want to give a room not tell like it was almost like I'm that way if there's any space here She'll not like that's exactly a room not tell you you got a feel that space up Yeah, and I would do it with one word for the next set So it's like if we were talking about yeah, well, I went to the the other day the game my brother and it was a lot of fun And then it gets quiet and I would go because and I would say because uh to give you and it's a start yes And but I don't know what I'm saying and she like what do you mean? And I'm like because it and I'm like in my head I'm like hey because it has to follow you got to follow with something if you say because I was like because you know We we just like the team that was playing Something and then it's like dad again, and I'm like I do another one So and it's just there's little words like just shut up man. Sit in the pocket. I can't sit in the pocket I can't sit ever do the same with baseball. I would get up there I would swing three times for even fucking through it and I would go sit down. Yeah, and if they just come with it I love it. I'm going home. I like my mom would sit in the distance who'd be in the van and she would hug She's like if you don't hit it, we're fucking late. I love it. She made me want to do it. I never hit it Dude, I love that. I never hit it. But yeah, there's something about that mom. What where it's like I Just can't in flight especially if it's like looking in a woman in the eyes, too. That's always been like super tough It's just like something. It's like yeah, I just always had a tough time with that But I can't let there be a thing. Well, I couldn't if the woman didn't like in high school or even beyond I Had to know the girl like like she had to come over to me like I could never be one of these guys to go up I'd be like ask my friends. She's like she likes you go talk to her, you know, I'm like couldn't talk to her I walk around her in a big circle. Oh gosh. Yes, that's funny. That's great though. That's that's insane That's marking a territory and you're trying to go in and you don't even have to do it Yeah, I would need her to come over and I would need confirmation of yes, I like you. Yes, let's go out You know, I couldn't I'd be like you sure I'd give her every out like we don't have to do this if you don't want to go out Are you okay? That's what if anybody has hangs out with me a lot of moments like are you okay? Yeah, there's a I don't even do it on purpose I just there's a part of me that just asked them that yeah, but yeah, it's a sweetness man But it's a worry that you're not good enough, right? I mean, I'm sure and I think it's not even on the front of my thoughts anymore But it's still just this old thing that just built in me, you know, but that looking in the eyes like yeah I couldn't look at one of the I just like I don't know what it is if I say I don't know what I'm afraid They're gonna see, you know, they're just gonna see that something's wrong with me probably or something you know Or I'm gonna or I'm gonna see them. Here's what I think it is to I'm gonna see them See that something's wrong, right? You would look for signs. She saw me just like she she knows. I'm weak Right, I'll know the look in the eyes. I'll know the look in the eyes when she sees that when she realizes that there's something wrong with me So I got like I don't know so I don't want to lock out something like that I don't know what it is anyway sorry for talking. You don't know I know it's the truth I'm the same way you don't want to give yourself the possibility of failing. So it's like you kill it before it happens Yeah, you go out self kill it before that I didn't fail it just went down Yeah, but then that life gets it, but then life gets along you're like what kind of What theme park am I living here with myself and whatever? I'm out of it now. I'm coming out of it I really am. I don't let those things that scare me anymore like I don't care anymore I do it and that's it's it's been helping a lot. Yeah, yeah, just by just you're doing yeah You figured out you know, I don't care. She said no, she doesn't know this one this whatever. I don't get this It doesn't do well. I don't care moving on. What's next? Let's go. We know what we got God is good go go go Yeah, get stuck so much on the think inside. Yeah, yeah, you got to get out of your own way. I'm the same way Yeah, I tend to rest and dude, but yeah, that would be a lot of it God, yeah, that would be a lot of it. Mm-hmm But yeah, that thing I'll be I'll be like um what else is going on? I'll say that all the time Yeah, if things get real quiet That's a weird thing, huh? But I think that's what makes you your brain is like we got to come up with something. What are we doing here boys? Yes, yes, yes, yeah, and I I'm telling you it you look calm outside, but inside it's like there's a fire What do we do next like she's not like I remember it all I remember it's over It's cortisol shooting out of your your face. You know, it's like I don't do I can't control myself It's just when you think back on it. It's so insane. It really too. That means nothing it meant nothing Don't worry. Just calm down. Sit in the pocket. Yeah Spade does a good job of that man He's always been that guy, right? He's very cool. Yeah, I've never been a cool guy. Yeah, my friend was the cool guy Yeah, yeah, all my friends were the cool guy like it was never me. I was never that guy No, I even it sounds when I thought I was that guy. I was like, ah, that's insane that you thought that dude You know cuz it just doesn't fit right? Yeah, yeah, I don't I don't I don't And that worked for me to not be that guy and it's like when you admit it Yeah, once you realize I'm not yeah, yeah, once you're not trying to be something. Yeah, it feels better Right, and it's like it's alright. That's why it happened. It makes things every a little bit better Did you feel like a little bit of like your character Matt Taylor that's a guy's name, which is so funny Cuz I know three Matt Taylor's but everybody does maybe that's why they picked the names a lot of There's a lot of math. How many are there bring that up? Please. How many Matt Taylor's are there? I know three There's got to be 14 or more in the world. There's yeah, I bet there's a hundred and forty thousand I think there's no precise global comfort the name Matt Taylor a conference of worldwide named database do not exist Estimates can be derived from available national data and name frequency tools so that you're in the public records about 3700 times. That's it Yeah, there's no way to figure it out. Yeah, there's a lot of them though Matt as a first name alone has an estimated living population of two hundred and seven thousand I bet it's more than that Two hundred seven thousand mattes. There was that Kyle meet up in Texas. Do you see that? I did not Bring that up. Well, Kyle's all the Kyle's met up really Yeah, bro, if we were to to branch out now and like go to try to figure out how many Matt Taylor's there are Currently living in the world Like what is the first step like the first step is to what Do I go, okay, if we just decide it right now, we're doing it. - Yeah. - But would I say to my guy, "All right, call this agent, like we're gonna do this thing." Like what is the first step that we book on itself? - The first step is that we say we're gonna talk about it or like we need a first meeting of how we're gonna go about the thing, is that it? - The first step probably agreeing that we're gonna do it together. - Right. - And that would take some time though, right? 'Cause we'd be like, are we really doing this? And then it's like, well, we gotta talk it out, let's think it, and the logistics of it, like how would we do, okay, so then-- - Getting uniforms too. - Searching for Matt Taylor uniforms. Every Matt, that would be sick. Would it be a jumpsuit or is it like two pieces? - Every Matt Taylor. I think it's a onesie. - Oh, one piece. - It's a one piece like a car heart. It's hard work. - Yes. - Yes. - Dude, do you know what Matt Taylor's hard? Is at least 27,000-- - Dude, I love it. - Okay. - Searching for the best Matt Taylor. - So the uniform would be the first thing we're working on. - What are we looking for and for? Maybe we got a piece of mail for him. - Yeah, just something like we can, yeah. We're just to give them a pad on the back for being part of the team. - Yeah. - Being in the army. That's a militia. - It is. - That's it. - Break up that meeting of the Kiles again. What do they do, too? Somebody said that-- - That is cool. - They're all Kiles? - Yeah, those were all Kiles, and Sugar Ray performed, I heard. - Oh, I love it. - 706 people named Kiles got together in Texas, but it wasn't-- - Enough for a world record. - Oh, how sad is that? First of all, let me say something. These guys put together 706 of these people had the dream of becoming a world record breaker with the most Kiles in the certain area. - I love that. - And they missed it. Look at that. By the way, is bad as we feel about everything that happened in our lives? If I had that one, that would tip it. - It'd be tough to leave. - Come on. - No, you're second place for most Kiles. - Second place for most Kiles. The crown is currently held by a town in Bosnia. They got 235 people named Ivan. (laughing) - In 2017. - So it's any name, it's not just Kiles. - So it's like a certain name. - But this is, I think, one of the largest groupings, what did you say about Kiles? Did it say anything else? Go back to that original article? - How does that start? Where is that first meeting? - Oh, Kiles. Well, it's right here. It's not the first time the Kiles have come gunning for the Ivans. Last year, the official count at what has become known is the gathering of the Kiles, clocked in at 1490 in the fast growing Texas city that is about 37 miles of Austin. Oh, the city's called Kiles. - So they did it in Kiles, Texas. - But are they named Kiles? - They're all named Kiles. That's gotta be crazy, dude. When you see who all the other freaking Kiles really are, and you-- - But do you go door to door? Are you knocking and going? - I'm sure they met up. I'm sure there was something online that announced it. - Okay. - And then they all showed up. I guess you have to register. - Yeah, that would seem a lot more efficient. - Oh, dude, that'd be so crazy. You look around and everybody's a Kile. And you see some, you're like, whoa, whoa. Are they put one person out there that's not a Kile? And the whole day-- - I think there's anybody in that group of 706 that's not a Kile, really? That's like Kile was his nickname. It wasn't even his real name. And he knows it. He's there. It's not on his birth certificate. And he's kind of like getting around, like not wanting to get caught. And people are looking around. And other Kiles know if you're not a Kile. So they're just kind of like, and you're like, what's your name? And you're like, I'm Kile too. And they're like, I don't know if he-- And they're like, hey, they go to get his buddy. Like, I want to check you out. And then he leaves, he's like, I'm going to a bathroom. I'll be back. And he just goes through a different area of the field. - It's so stupid. - It's so crazy to be able to be a fake Kile. - Just to fit in now. - But people have nothing to do. Look at what they're doing. - They're just trying. - I love it, man. - I love it. - I love it, Jasper for Connection. - Yes. - This is how it's getting. - But the way this is beautiful to me, this is-- - But the worst part is, though. Imagine, it's all dude, you go there hoping you can meet a chick. There's some chicks named Kile. - Oh, do you think so? Is that-- - There's a Cobb Metacouple. - Okay. - A Metacouple for sure. - Who performed? - Who performed, I think, Sugar Ray. - But that's a missed opportunity. Shouldn't they get a Kile? Isn't there a Kile performer? - Cobb can aim could have. - Yeah. - I don't know. - That's a missed opportunity, man. - It won't try to break the same name gathering record this year. Okay, so Kile's out. - That's all we got. - You should have switched in names. - By the way, why don't you go with a Bob or something? Like, you know what I'm saying? - Because the city of Kyle Texas put it on it. - All right, we'll find the better name. - The city has been hosting the gathering since 2017. When you look back, this movie, what was different about making this movie than some of the others? Did you find it that it's easier? Do you have a different like ownership of this film? - It was something that, it came together really quick, but it's the first movie that, like I'm really like proud of that, everybody who worked on it was just amazing. And it was just different than any other movie I've done. And the story's not that, it's not even that crazy, different or anything like that. It's not, but it's a classic. It, we hit every mark that we wanted to hit in doing this in a different way. I hired, like we got the best cast, the best crew. And again, it's not me, it was them. And it was everything coming together in Italy that just made it, I just couldn't believe how great it came out. And it was like, I know, I think, honestly, for the rest of my life, this would probably be the best movie for me. - Really? - It's a best I've done so far. Yes. - The best you've done, like, even in your acting, you think? - Yeah, yeah. - Because, well, it's the most where I'm real too. You know, you do different movies for different reasons, right? Like, you know, when I didn't all cop, you know, I'm doing it for families and kids and you're being goofy and broad and this and that. And a lot of stuff you're getting that, you know, that's your kind of what they expect from you. But this was one where I was able to still comedy it, but it like, I don't hold the comedy as much as, like Kim Coates and Jonathan Rumi, these guys, and Allison Hanigan and you. - Yeah, Jonathan was great. - Yeah, which allowed me to kind of play more of a real guy, which is fun for me to do. - You played Jules, what was that guy's name? - Kim Coates, I'm sons of Anakin, he's just, I know him for 35 years, like he's, I did a movie with him in Ray Romano called Grilled. Yeah, and it never went anywhere. We were meet salesmen and I met him and he is the greatest. He's an insanely intense actor. I don't even know what he's gonna do, but that's why I want him for comedy. Like, he looks at you and he's just, he's just gonna go a certain way and you're gonna go with him. And he was the perfect guy to play that role. - Yeah, that was great, dude. He was really, really, he was a good awe. He has comedy, he was right on. - He's incredible, and he crushes it. - Whenever you made, what's another favor, just take me through one more favorite film that you like an experienced hit you had. - I mean, Hitch, I mean, all the, the stuff with Sandler, you know, - Oh yeah, I mean like, the bad stuff. - No, no, no, I mean, it's like, doing stuff with Sandler's the best always. - What about like a Hitch reboot today, would that work, you think? - I mean, I don't know how you do it with me, but yeah, I guess you could do it. I think so, I think it was great. Well, that was my first movie. So, I mean, I was thankful for that one. That was, that started out like, like I had like one line or something. That was like a very small part. And then Will, and I just connected and he was so nice and given me, you know, some freedom to be funny and kind of try different things. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, dude, and it just, it made everything for me. So, I was really excited about that. - He's a lot of pressure when you just have that, that much of a part to try to make it perfect in some way. - And Hitch, you know, coming in, you know, Will was a massive, you know, movie star. - Oh, yeah, he's one of the biggest. - And movie stars were different than it was like, it was just in the theaters. It was like, they were special. You didn't see them much, you know. And I remember we were doing a big table read in New York and he walked in with his crew. And I'm like, whoa, you know, my eyes are like, whoa, that's him. You know, it's like one of those things. And just happy to be there, you know, trying to pitch things. But, you know, don't want to get thrown out of the room. You know, try, you know, timing and stuff like that. But he was great. Like, we would write after in his trailer. He'd go, come back and we, you know, we'd work on some material and rewrite it as we were doing it. And I was just in it. It was a dream for me. It was really great. And it had that special feeling that I have in this movie, honestly, where you feel things are coming together. 'Cause I've done a ton of movies where you go, man, this is just not working, oil. You know, it's like, you just feel like you're muscling through and you're pushing the comedy too hard. This one felt so real to me. And it was just so much fun to be a part of. - Do you have other projects that are already, that you already have on the docket, Kevin? - Yes. We're working on one with the jelly roll that I'm gonna be, it's actually drama, country music drama that we're working together and-- - You see that video in the other night, the Grammy's right there? - Yeah, no, I wasn't there. He is amazing man. - Yeah, he's great. - Just, I got a shirt, I bought a shirt at Walmart before it came in here. And I already stained it up a little bit. But yeah, let's go, jelly. - He sent me a pair of those shoes as they're like hat, they're like, I don't know what they're called. - Oh yes, yeah, his debuts that he wears? - Yeah, there's something like that, yeah. - Yeah, they're great. He's an amazing human being, man. I'm so proud of him and so excited to do this. And in this drama, here's the thing. We both, he goes, hey, if we're gonna do this, we gotta get into like prison shape. 'Cause we go to prison, we're both in prison in the movie and it's real. - We're at what city? - In Nashville. - Oh nice. - So-- - I have a minute of the prison here. - Yeah, it's a whole thing about getting to the yoppery. And it's a really, it's cool story and there's a lot of drama in it and it's exciting. But we said, okay, we're gonna commit now to doing this. and he went out and lost like 300 pounds, and I am up seven, I gotta get down. - You're up like seven pounds right now? - Yes, he's down like 300, I'm up seven. - Oh, that's a crazy spread. - So yeah, it's a big spread. We went the wrong way. - And you already shot. - No, no, we didn't shoot anything yet. We shoot like, we're hoping to do seven, eight months we're gonna be ready to shoot. - So what do you think you can get to that? - I know I can. I'm gonna do it right now. I'm literally after I promote this movie, which I'm doing, I'm shutting down from everything else and I'm going into training mode, like never before. I'm gonna work out, I'm gonna change everything. I'm gonna be unrecognizable. I have to say it, if I don't say it, I'll never be accountable. - What will you do? Like what do you have a, do you have a plan to do it? - Yeah, I'm gonna do everything. Like, well, I'm gonna go easy though. You know, it's like, that's the one thing. I'm very eclectic when I work out. Like I do, you know, I'll do a little bit of Jiu-Jitsu and stuff like that, light stuff though. Now in boxing and then stretching and little bit of stuff, bike riding, things like that. Pool is insane, you know. - Swimming? - Not swimming, I'm not a swimmer. But just getting in a pool and stretching and moving a little bit. If you can do that, if you have access to that too, but it's also like, it's-- - It's learned a lot of calories. - And it's therapeutic because the water holds you. So it's like, your body feels good stretching and moving. So, doing a lot of that, and I gotta get on it though. He's like, he's lived up to his part of the bargain. Or are you gonna have a trainer, like what else will you do? - I do, but trainers get annoying to me. I gotta be honest, like after a while, and you know what, if I'm being completely honest, I've done it before. I know what to do. I know what to eat. I know what, you know, but I am using Dolce. You know Mike Dolce? He's got the Dolce diet. He's trained all these UFC athletes. - Oh wait, I haven't met him before. - Yeah, he's awesome. He's gonna help me. Yes, he's a badass. He's a really good-- - So he's gonna help. He is gonna help. He's frustrated with me because I haven't been doing, he knows I haven't been doing it. - Hey, you're up seven. - Yeah, so he, I don't think he knew that. I guess he's gonna know that now. - Time. - All right, sorry Dolce, I'm up seven, but I didn't lock in yet. When I lock in, I promise you, it's gonna be six months. I'm gonna be a different person, so. - Where, what would be the hardest thing for you to give up, you think? - Food-wise or just, I mean-- - Probably food-wise, yeah. Or is it a beer-wise or what is it? - No, no, it's not drinking. I'm not a big, big drinker. It's just food, and it's just amounts of food. Like, I could eat constantly if you change the food, like a shark, like I would just keep swimming, like I would just keep, I don't get full, really, you know? It's scary. It's something in me that, you know, I need to stop. But are you a big eater? You look great, man. - I like to eat some, but I don't care that much. I like the piece of ideas and I like smoothie. Okay, but so you're not, that's a great couple. - Those are the two things I eat every single day. - Do you really, if I'm eating, that's what I eat. - I love that. - It's easy, we have seven ingredients here. - But you don't think about it. See, look at your face. You're kind of like, that's your face when, you know, that's not my face with food. - But I think it's lame to not care about food sometimes. I think like, dude, get some zest in your world. - No, I think, I think we should do it as fucking sauce or something. - No, I think that's, I would rather be like that, because you know, why am I so concerned about what I'm eating for lunch? Like, I'm thinking about it constantly. I'm looking at you right now, but I'm thinking tonight, where, like, you don't wanna make a mistake. You don't wanna go. - That's a good point. - Right? - Nothing's worse than making a mistake. Especially when you're like, we're in Nashville now. - Oh, dude. - So we have a pop. - You gotta find something good. Dude, I ordered a steak from this place. SGK last night. - Oh, SGK's great. - This was not, dude, this. - Oh, really? SGK missed? Didn't they have a place in the, they have a few of them, right? They're a chain? - Yeah. - It's a, I mean, it's just. - But not a, not a, oh, it still makes me sick. It tastes like, I don't even know. - Oh, SGK, sorry. I'm out, then. I'm out. If you had a bad one. - Oh, it tasted like. - Dom done. - It tasted like just. - Well, okay. If they had one in L.A., I think I went to it and it was good. - 400s or whatever. - Like, game of. - Really? - Growns, dude. It was a whole world. - Game of, oh, dude. I can still, I had one bite and I was like, oh, maybe I got a bad one. - And what was wrong with me or whatever? - It tasted bad or it just tasted bad. And it just had this like aroma or ordur. - Oh, no. - Ordur or whatever with it. And dude, that ordur hit me and I was like. - Well, what is that ordur? Oh, you had seen the odor ordur? - Ordur. - Yes. - It hit me, dude. I fucking, my knees shook a little. - It did. - It was like, God. - But do you think it was like, like just bad tasting or it was bad? Like, you're gonna get sick. - I couldn't tell. I couldn't tell, dude, but I had one more bite. 'Cause I was like-- - You went back? - I was like, dude, I was treating myself to something, you know? - Yeah. - I hadn't really eaten all day and I was coming home and I was like, I'm gonna treat myself to something tonight and I'm gonna order steak. 'Cause I still have to work. I was gonna try to go somewhere to eat but it was getting, it was so late. - Yeah. - And I was like, and they sent it and I was like, - Oh, no, you can't do that. - It made me feel like when you do that kind of shit. - Like, you turn into your own car practice shit. - See, I wouldn't get upset. Like, once it was bad, I have no problem switching foods. Like, I would go to write the peanut butter and jelly and I would make a massive sandwich. - Yeah, those are good. I guess there is good when you're a kid but I just quit eating them years ago. - What? - Peanut butter jelly. - Why? - You still eat them? - Yes, I do. Yes, I do. What is your ratio of peanut butter to jelly? - Oh, I used to think, oh, I think I go thick on both and I'll put, if I'm really gonna have one I haven't had in one of years but I would put butter on the jelly side as well, butter, jelly, and then the other bread is peanut butter on it, my grandmother used to do that. - Toast? - No. - No. - Sometimes my mom used to grill them with bananas in them though. - That's insane. It was stuck on butter right now. Like, my mind is going like a beautiful mind right now. It's seen all the equations of like why I didn't do it but I gotta tell you, first of all, I go much thicker peanut butter. Like, I thick it up on a real butter. - Oh, really, it's a lot. - Yeah. - These choke a little. - Yeah, that's fine. I get it down and then it's worth it though and I get a little jelly in there. Just to get that sweet going, but it's a big one. And I'll do toast sometimes but if you do too hard of a toast, I don't know, this is a little bit too much information but then you get the wet peanut. Like it melts and it comes right out, squeezes out the side. - How do you feel when peanut butter started doing that thing a few years ago where they put just two parts of peanut butter and it would jar it is like the oil and the part. - No, I can't stand that. - That's insane. - I can't stand that. - What is that? - I don't do it. Like, I don't want to do the skipping. Yeah, there you go, that's the drip. There you go, that drip is good but if it goes out of the sandwich, you lose it. You lose it. It's like that could have been in me. - Yeah, God. - Yeah, I don't like that oil stuff. - I don't like that oil stuff. - I do miss those kid foods, I can't believe you. - Why did you stop? I mean, when you say kid foods, they're foods. They don't, I mean macaroni and cheese with the craft. Like that food, the powder, it never stops. Why do you go, what age is it appropriate to go? I'm not eating the powder, cheese. - Something happened to me, I guess I just don't know. I just, I just started, you know what? I just like working so much, I just don't think about food that much. But maybe this will start, you know? Maybe I'll start falling in love with some new things, you know? - I would like to go the other way. I would love to be like that. I wish I had that where I wasn't thinking about it so much. - What's gonna be the toughest part for you with this coming up change on you gotta get out of your food? - It's gonna be the toughest part. - It's just gonna be the food, it is. It's gonna be cutting that out. Being, but once I get into a groove, it's routine. Routine and discipline, man. That's all it'll ever it is, right? So if you do it a little bit and you do it enough and you don't need a perfect everyday, but that's the other thing too. I let the perfect be the enemy of the good, which means if I'm not perfect that day, I go screw it and I eat like crazy that night and I blow it. And if I get a flat tire, why do you know he says, you go, if you get one flat, you just pop the other three tires. Like, you know, you don't just fix that one. I do. So if I go off my diet a little bit, I go out that night and I'm eating, drinking, having a blast. And I'm like, I'll start tomorrow. 'Cause it's a fresh start that I'm looking for. Oh, I love that start fresh. 'Cause I've always been that guy. I've always been the guy that never do the homework, you know, but when I should, it's Monday morning and I get it done. And then I get it and it's like, 'cause I can do it. That's the same. Dude, yeah, I was always like, I wrote every answer on my finger I get in there. Yes. Yes. Like that. You know, bitty words on there. Cheating. Well, dude, thanks so much for Solomio, man. Thanks for all the entertainment of the year. So I was a little bit tired today. No, I'm sorry, I'm a little weak too. And I sent a lot of things that I rambled for a while that if you want to cut out, you can cut out because I was a little bouncy. Dude, I, yeah, I don't know. I just didn't feel like I had a lot of gasoline in me today, but sometimes that's the day, man. Yeah. It was great. You were great. But I'm grateful that we got to spend some time together, man, I really am. And thanks for all the entertainment over the years. And thank you for Solomio. Solomio, right? Solomio. Solomio. But thank you. It's Solomio. I think I remember that. Thank you for Solomio. Yes. Okay. That's even-- And there's a musical on some of you wouldn't even imagine that this happens in this movie. That's great. Yeah. And that guy's blind. You know it? Yeah. I didn't know. Finally, I'm looking at him. I'm like, this guy's fucking nonchalant. You know about everything. And then I'm like, oh, this guy's fucking blind or whatever. My friend's blind. You have a friend that's blind? Yeah. How blind? Like completely? Nothing. It's all. Has he always been that way? Yeah. He's always been blind since he was-- Yeah. I mean, he could maybe have visited him. He was very young. But he's always been blind. Wow. As long as I've known him, he's been blind. I thought it was amazing. Anytime that somebody's like a deficiency, I always like admired it so much in some way. That's just a loss of sight. Like she's like-- but she's born with something. She was fine and now you know it's just got retinitis pigmentosa where it's like it goes away and it's it's and I'm wondering if it's like more difficult It's to have seen or to never have you know and and just know it's just Yeah, I'm my heart goes out to all of them We had a blind girl in here one time and she was talking about how she like learns things like it's almost like a video game Mm-hmm. It's like that's how she kind of remembers things and where to go and different like and so like she can slowly build like spaces to like walk in and things like that she said And then she said the worst animal that she's it. She's like padded all kinds of animals It's up a snake doesn't give any energy back to the blind. That's what she said Yeah, it doesn't give any back to the scene either. Yeah That's what I said right yeah hundred percent Tonja. Yeah, right there Wow, that's really that's cool. Man, you could feel it. She's awesome. I got a check back in with her Yeah, guys, go see solo me. Oh, you'll enjoy it. Take your lady. Yeah Take your man. Take whoever you got. Take your son. Take your stepson. That's who needs to yes Take your stepson. Take your frickin stepson That's all I want stepson's in free. We should do it whole thing, right? Yeah, right stepson's getting free I wonder if angel could work that out and blinds get in free sure. Absolutely Let's do it. I appreciate you man. Yeah, you two man. Thank you so much. Appreciate it I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone But when I reach that ground I'll share this piece of my life out. I can't feed it in my bones