#627 Stinky Pies

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hitter in the face of the surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfed up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there Mark Norman and Joe list yeah this Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be cheesy here we are we're back baby it's early I'm gay the shorts are on it's A.M. right now what does A.M. stand for if you get it I'll suck you off American mentality maridian something like this prime maridian yeah which I know it's p.m. p.m. prime maridian a adville medium um anal mischief in some it's it's totally Latin I saw it but I couldn't see it it's Latin activated to brood and then a medium and then maridian and anti maridian wow anti anti antifa and tape and tape brood that to brood gay yes a brute gay that sounds hot he's got like a five o'clock shadow and a cigar chewed up and he just smashes your asshole you don't hear about brute he used to be like unhand me you brute oh yeah brood is the barber beef cake uh-huh who's that Popeyes he's a big wrestler he was Hulk Hogan's buddy that everyone it turns out now everyone hated because he sucked uh when I was a kid I was a boy I was like this guy rule and he would do a thing you know bon bonnet scum but I do do and then he would cut their hair what the sleeper hold even cut their hair I remember as a kid it fucked with me because I'm like the idea of someone cutting my hair yeah I don't like that a lot bummed me out man man I had these friends with these like the jackass world we were cutting each other's hair in the backyard what yeah like sit down and have a chat we were right here yeah we just be like hi to haircut my friends like I got you and we had nothing going on we had nothing to do is we go all right I don't think a haircut and he know inevitably another guy would come up and go oh I know these guys were evil but they were you were 18 so you're like this is what friends do well even in jackass I just never thought that was funny I never got that I like the jokes I like when he has a baby on the van and he's driving around and oh my god yeah he's got a boner at the gym or he shits in a home depot toilet yeah or he puts a little piece of shit on the plate uh the Chinese restaurant he's like I think it's poo right that steps funny this like a pool cue to the asshole and then a shaving the head I'm like I hate this yeah yeah and that's just gonna ruin your day yeah it just seems like so vicious and mean and horrible but the baby on the car hood is gold that was amazing getting out of a Starbucks everybody's like what the hell very fun I did it from real life the other day but um now you don't really I guess you do do that anyways it doesn't matter but what was I gonna say I like the show buzzkill remember that that was like three guys and I can't remember what it looked like but they had a van and they would do weird shit yeah and I remember the the logo was a bullseye or a site let's go oh yeah it was a bullseye was it a bullseye okay maybe I don't know I'm just I think it might have been a site I think it was a site a site to see bullseye what was the show called again buzzkill yeah I was thinking with the show was called bullseye buzzkill but that's what you say when a guy's ruining a party a real buzzkill right which went away I think he's a buzzkill yeah you don't hear that too much yeah well you know Matt Wayne likes to say you're a hornet in the car or a flat soda he's got a lot of good ones flat soda is great flat soda crocodile done deal that's like a you say done deal oh but you know what I've noticed this is interesting so he made sticker he has merged called crocodile done deal it's got an alligator crocodile on it that his wife made and he sells these tickets but are stickers and he does a joke about it but now where old men and crocodile done D yeah didn't hold up that well so a lot of people are like fucks he talking about the hell's crocodile done deal right right this crocodile done D is not a it's not like in the so people over 35 40 are like that's amazing right crocodile done deal yeah people at 25 are like you should say this and it's just not a pun it's like you should say later alligator yeah cuz these these we're old we're old and the references don't stick Jerry they used to stick we'd go hey JFK got shot oh remember happy birthday right mr. print that was before our time we know what that was yeah that's true bitch my family's here yeah a bottle of whiskey all that's gone it's all out the window hot two is in well people can't remember things Jerry and this is what I'm talking about about this silly fucking festival these people like go to hell and die you fucking home like these people are not even going to think about this in 48 hours they're gonna be on to the next thing they just tweeting you're a bad human right and they'll forget about don't forget they'll go to lunch and then who's Charlie Kirk what I've already forgotten exactly that's out that's old news Louis Charlie Kirk captain Kirk he's good admiral admiral James T Kirk with but another guy already out the up the side case so admirals higher than captain in the space world admiral Levine because wasn't he captain Kirk and they became admiral Kirk is that right I think that sounds right to me admiral Kirk oh yeah was he admiral at some point can I get a reading on that I think he went from captain to admiral or maybe reverse I think he'd rather have a captain around though because an admiral is like oh he's over the hill interesting you don't meet a young viral viral admiral admiral's a weird word add admiral admiral what's like admirer admiral ah admiral he became admiral and start track the motion picture so I think that's the first movie yeah oh the TV show he was captain he was captain see that's why I remember his admiral because I never saw the TV I mean later on I saw it a little bit but my dad was really into those Star Trek movies we talked about the last week out there Christopher Lloyd oh yeah my mom was in it she loved the next generation she I think you want to bang Worf the Klingon well next generation just looked like soap opera it was filled with away that I was like uh it made me like feel like sick I hated it I don't know like the guy with the visor and James Jordan what the fuck was that guy's name Stuart Patrick Stewart oh what was that guy's name uh Joliel white no what is uh Jordy's name and he was the reading rainbow cut oh Brian Gumball Mark Voorhees now what the hell is his name Will Smith Carlton it was a very kind of name shit he was good Lavel Leroy she Lenny Kravitz I can give me a Google on that what are you doing over there I think the internet's not working I keep seeing that orange cone over there I hate a Lawrence cone oh yeah we got some stuff the Velcropper Jordy Star Trek the next generation black guy with the red visor what's his name yes yeah I know you don't know that's why we're asking to Google it's where we're googling Lefarbert Levar Levar Levar Levar you've never been a white Levar I'll tell you that so the reading rainbow guy is the Star Trek next generation yes Jordy with the eyes he must have read too much his eyes were all yeah he got hit with a ray Charles gun um what was I gonna why am I hearing our voices oh they're in your cans he's editing oh he's cutting yeah you called someone a big piece of shit we got to get it out of there but any parts what the fuck will we say uh Jordy the Vel oh Star Trek generation I did it I just hated it it was one of those you know you have those shows that made you feel sick I think maybe we've talked about this yes the Sunday shows Sunday shows because he gave it the Sunday blues like the one two years when that came what would I be like oh I got school in the morning ah the Sunday scary yes the scary that's it Sunday had some gold though because we had the Simpsons he had a living color and he had married with chill but none of those things that I really enjoy I couldn't enjoy those properly because I had that thing of like we're back to school it's such a long week I have anxiety I'm nervous I'm homosexual school was really hell and I always was jealous of those kids remember that kid who was like I was feeling a lot today so I stayed home I wasn't allowed to stay home I have perfect attendance four years in a row in high school I did too I I had the eighth grade through senior year I really really never miss go to me it was crazy I didn't want to miss school it felt insane it felt weird yeah and my parents were like no you're going you go to school that's what you do it I'm like I'm puking I'm gay I have a boner they're like you got to go and then you meet one guy's like I need a me day yeah what well that's big now this me day crap and yeah I never missed a practice I never missed a day of school I just didn't didn't get it I wanted to be there I was scared Yeah, same but I see that with comics too. They're just like I just I couldn't do it I'm like, but you have four shows tonight like yeah, just Couldn't get there couldn't make it couldn't get my head in the game. I'm like wow. I didn't know that was an option Well, I don't want to talk about which gender is doing that the most but there's a sixty-seven of them So if you got a narrow it down. Yeah, there's uh, yeah, one of them does it a lot That's true and look they got to do the hair the makeup the tampon the clip ring the the breastfeeding. That's true So there is an extra element Maybe don't take the gig then. Yeah, it's good point But you know Some people take too many gigs and then can't make it to one of them often almost every night also But that's that's the stretch Well A little late. Where's he? Where's this guy? Can you go next? Could you go first? Could you go last? He's not here? This you know, he's not here. I say all right. I had a feeling Where they go hey, yeah, he's on next and I'm like well, that's funny because I just saw him at another club And there was two more before he was going on but but here we are here. We are Well, well, well, I feel like I upset you. I'm sorry. No, I don't know I was about to make a thing about today, but that's it's not I feel bad because it's my house, so I was here 10 30 a.m. Did you make it? Yeah, that's one time I'm having time so I've been late to this podcast Would you say six and 12 years? I think that's probably about right. I don't say that's about accurate and the train stop Yeah, I wasn't at another bud Anyfarts here we are Here we go. What the hell is I gonna say? I don't know while I upset you. No, I'm not upset. I had something. Oh Boulder, Colorado, please get in there. Tell me about it. Um, well Really something this is have you been there never been in my life? I almost went because it's only 30 minutes from Denver, correct? 45. Yeah, okay. Well, I almost went because the football, but then the schedule didn't quite line up It was a night game. I see you see you next Tuesday Cut. Yes, but man, this is a hidden gem a great town I can't believe I've never been and it was a risk Jerry like hey, where should we do the special you always here? Sifts. Let's go Denver, Austin, whatever New York New York, so I was like Maybe I don't know boulder is that crazy, but we sold a couple tickets because I'd never been right built up A lot of jizz that was ready to shoot out of a penis into my ass. I hope hopefully and Man, it all just came together. I had a Sunday or a Thursday show, which I don't really do anymore because Shane Gillis and I had the same day in San Jose Moving to this Thursday, which was a blessing because then I get to run it one more time sure and then go straight from San Hogue to Boulder and man, it was just magic is in there. Sal cue showed up. We went hiking on a mountain. I saw that I was so jealous. I was like walking around the financial district, the baby's crying. You send me a photo. Sal cue's in a tree. God knows why I know he wanted to get a shot of a condor But yeah, I was just condor It was just great weather. The sky was blue. It's beautiful out there. It's just like every restaurant's full the bars are full the people are Good looking their white. It's just it's it's paradise. I got to get out there to this boulder business But isn't that so you haven't been in Denver in a while because I imagine it's pretty similar market. Yeah a little bit okay a little bit But it's still different. There's about a hundred something thousand people there. Oh, that's sizable. Yeah, and it's just a beautiful Old theater from 1909. It's got that marquee. I'll show you the marquee norm and and the funky bunch. It just came together I don't know what it was and we we we had three shows and they were killer and it was one of those the first show was great Friday we had one Saturday we had two first show was great and you're like Hey, all right, here we go, and then second show was unbelievable. So we got it. Okay show is a little a little wonky Well, it's not you always have a wonky one. That's true. There's never been a taping where you're like Jesus Christ What the fuck was that that wasn't the two more the stomach right also? How it's saying that a theater has lasted a hundred and twenty years in Boulder right like that that thing made it through the Depression through the World War through the 80s the crack epidemic which probably didn't hit Boulder that hard But you know what I mean through the crack rock. Dot com bulge or whatever the fuck that's called through segregation through you know Chuck's life. Yeah, COVID me too, and it's still here. Yeah, and you're in there. I've been there Jerry And I'm loving every minute of it and the crowds are hot and everybody kept saying watch out fatty It's crunchy. It's hipster. It's woke. It's gay. It's queues. They couldn't have been cooler. Well This for people don't understand is there's everywhere mixed up in there even in you know What's that? I can't think of anything Williamsburg Which is like the quefiest skinniest pants the Fedorias Fedoras rolling the cigarettes got a bird tattoo and I have Polaroid You do a show in Williamsburg. There's enough people that are like I hate this shit But I got rent control or I like living here whatever it is. Yes. Yes. Yeah, that's why people are like so weird They're like you go to red states Watch out. I can't go there. I'm a woman like what are you crazy? You think people are just getting like No women are beaten up or whatever it is. Yeah, there's just plight There's so many people in this goddamn country right three hundred and seventy five million people There's all kinds of people everywhere and the majority tends to be somewhere in that gooey middle area Yes, the extreme come gusslers are the loud ones of course, so we all go oh Portland you go to Portland you're gonna get stuck with fentanyl and stuck with a dick and it's all over and you go there And you're like these crowds are amazing because they're sick of that shit. Yeah. Well Portland is like the best crowds of all time Because that yeah exactly and the people that are the homo weirdo whatever you Antifa they're out in the street tied to an oil rig or Something protesting. They're not at the show good point Well, unless it's like a a louis show or something where they're like this will be our night We'll make a poster and get our dreadlocks together and make fun of this Ginger, but yeah great shows we got it and It's one of those it's that magic moment of It's in the can and I still got months before it comes out. That's the greatest it's the greatest I'm building new material. I tried some new jokes last night by the way. I went out there last night with like five new ideas I Stink yeah, well, that's part of the process You're always stinking the beginning That's your thing and boy you go I got like I wrote it. I just wrote a hot hour. I'm cooking right I'm not cooking Real cook though the flame is off the water ain't boiling and I spilled the amps. That's part of your process You got to go. Oh, that's like I said this to Sarah all the time She's like I got nothing new. I haven't written a joke in two years. I'm like you have said that to me Every week for whatever it is 15 years I like that the truth and then you always have new Yeah, that's just part of the thing I got nothing new because I have the same thing. I'm like I haven't written in two months and then I'll go all right here we go And then you're like you get 10 minutes in a couple weeks and then you're like oh shit look at that. I got 10 minutes Well, you know what it is. You know when you look at the comments in this 38 Nice ones and 14 mean ones. Yes, you only remember the mean ones. It's the same with writing You remember all the failures all the jokes had bombed all the humiliation But you don't really notice the ones that trickled in it's the negativity bias. Thank you for evolution Yes, we're meant to and it all goes back to when you're in the woods and you hear a branch Snap you're like that could be a bird or could be a tiger about to break my mother and fucking eat me turns out It's a Cub Scout who needs a good fucking vice versa. So that's the thing We're evolutionarily involved to remember the gut your wife says Thanks for catching the meat. You go all right shut up. Shut up. Is there a bear over there? So that's how we're wired and then you go my wife never compliments me No, no she did you were just worried about the saber tooth right and somebody says you suck You're like I'm not gonna make money. I'm gonna have no money. Everyone thinks I suck. Oh my god I suck I gotta get better because this one guy. I have letters written in crayon and pencil saying you're the greatest man in my life You changed my life. You're the great. I don't even think about it. I don't look at them. They're under my pillow They mean nothing to me. I got a YouTube comment from a guy with no face called Fucking homo 678 who said hey, I think you're gay. I know that guy and Seven eight nine six seven We just got a box of George Carlin records. We got a focus on that. Yes, we should focus on that I got these great magnets. Shout out whoever this is someone made Pedro Martinez Magnet and Paul Pierce and a Brad Martian my favorite athletes of all time. That's exciting into magnets You know, it also is I never thought about this. We got a negativity bias. We're all focused on the negative the bad the shit the danger But then you get aids and you're positive You see what I'm saying now positive is bad. This is one of the new bits. No No, I'm just saying like it's COVID positive. It sucks We took the word positive and tacked it onto a disease and now that's ruined. Yeah positive test positive positive for COVID You're positive for aids. You're positive for HIV. Yes, yes, you're Charlie she positively gay Uh-huh gay positive my crazier is chuck making the fucking craziest noises over there hearing fart noises appearing our voices What is that? Oh, he's doing a weird whistle move with his lips while he edits Oh, no it's a shoe it's Eric the clown He can't tell because he's not listening to us. So he's making a squeaky noise Your shoe is squeaking so I'm just hearing like It's torture. I thought it was coming out of your weird face when it's actually the foot Hey folks to his stories brought to my blue choo Guys enter the room dick first making impression with blue choo my mom's upstairs blue choo is the original brand offering Chewable tablets for better Blue choo's the best. I love it. Keep one in your pocket. It works chewable quick Never fails and it even tastes pretty good. So What could go wrong? Got to do it. It isn't just a tablet though. It's a cheat code for your crotch stronger harder longer lasting Like someone gave your downstairs a pep talk and a gym membership guys This isn't just about performance. It's about legacy or third leg. I see oh Give your group chat something to talk about you know when you lay it down. They're gonna be Talking about how it gets up Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little blue choo discover your options at blue choo.com as a special deal for our Tuesday's with stories fans The gays as always get your first month free of blue choo. Wow. That's pretty good Just use promo code Tuesday's at checkout and pay five clams for shipping. That's it join blue choo's mission to upgrade humanity One thrust at a time head to blue choo.com for safety details and info. Thank you Folks Tuesday's with stories is brought to you by Shopify Starting your own business is a dream lots of folks have stop holding yourself back and let Shopify help make that dream your new reality Shopify is the commerce platform behind 10% of all e-commerce in the US because they make it incredibly easy to start and run your business Shopify lets you tackle all those important tasks in one place from inventory to payments to analytics Don't even know where to start. Shopify has hundreds of ready to go templates for your website to show off your style No coding required. I love Shopify. I would be lost without Shopify. Everything I do is Shopify huge I want to go on a date with my wife. I use Shopify. I want to buy a pair of shoes. I use Shopify. He does I use Shopify so much. I don't even know what they do That's because they do they do so much that it's like they do everything for good point. I don't know what they don't do It's great. I run a business. You run a business. Rupert runs a business. Rupert loses Shopify. That's all you need to run Never worry about being left out in the gold Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 24/7 customer support You know how hard it is to win an award for customers so support not easy not easy Turn those dreams into Reality and give them the best shot at success with Shopify sign up for your one dollar per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com/tuesdays go to Shopify.com/tuesdays one more time Shopify.com/tuesdays So yeah, it's in the can I'm excited some titles got to build some new and yeah, it's all over It's so funny how it's just been there's been looming over me and now it's done and it feels good And then you read the Theo articles and you feel even better and you got a title for this thing I got a couple I want to run somebody later. Please, please. I'm very good with titles. Really? I love a title Oh titular. I always got titles in my mind. Title nine. So yeah, I'm pretty and now who did you have direct this thing? I guess it's not salicues. I hope no, no, no, it's not a shaky picture But I wanted to go with this guy Jordan Levy. He's done all the big. I needed you same initials. That's right Jew is very good very good. Separaries face the candles are nice He fought for the candles so he's a man of the people he's all about the artist and he said you do your stuff Our whole job is to just make it easy and get out of your way. All right. I like that. I like that. No notes. No horse shit No, I don't like the outfit. Hey, maybe don't say the N word. It's all in there. Well, it's a good buck to be made filming comedians. Boy, you ain't lying fatty It's a it's a big industry. It sure is. In fact, check you fired How about salicues, by the way, salicues said we don't need you. That's what he told us he did the editing or whatever the setup And he was like you guys could totally do this Which is hilarious because he's close friends with both of us. I'm like you think I could do any of this That's true. I don't know how to upload my my my shits Yeah, you could but then you'd have to do all the post in terms of like organizing it sending it to someone It's a lot of true. Yeah, it's a real pain in the well. We used to film on our own. Yeah, that's true And I did that for a long time, but then you have to take the card out I can remember leaving looking at you you at the card in your hand and just a puzzle look Greg the cat was going. I don't know what the fuck yeah And being like all right, let's see if this one goes praying to God that thing got to Shelby But yeah, I don't I don't think we could do anything No, no, well salicues thinks that's the whole pod is just setting up three mics at a light right there's more to it Yeah, I mean, I'm watching you click and clack over there. I don't So it's making me nervous the level of retardation in my brain is really stunning Yeah, same. It's bad. I mean, we talked we did a whole rant on signing in Signing in is bad. You know, I've never put a Wi-Fi password in and gotten it on the first job now me either not once Don't go ahead of Wi-Fi is eight It's the number eight and I'm like all right. Is it uppercase or lowercase? The the Jewish eight A-i-g-h-t ATE Nothing well, and also by the way a little update that commercial agent I haven't heard a beep Remember I told you the whole story. That's how we get off on the thing that she sent me the website She's like you got to look into it. You got to sign in. Oh Yes, get in there and just nothing out of zilch haven't gotten a nibble Not from her from a commercial you mean from her. I mean, she's the agent. So wow I don't think she knows I exist you blew it if you're not signed in they don't know you exist No, but I'm signed in I got us all signed in I got the message $30 package. I got the $30 package Tencent package in my pants and So now I'm ready and every commercial I watch like I said. It's the big goofy white retard spill in hot sauce on his dits And I'm like get me in there Nothing nothing. Yeah, it's bad news. I'm out. No, man. It's Mickey. You're out and It ain't pretty. I mean Join the club. I I'm turning down commercial. They'll just start sending them to you. Well you're a handsome boy We're different types. I'll do any type. I'll put on a clan hood or a swastika or a nipple ring But they go they give me a shit for like this is a Hallmark movie where we need a 64 handsome guy who can swing an axe and I'm like, why are you sending me this right? I'm a twinkie Jew-faced retard This is no good Chuck just left check you go to bucks a box closed. Yeah, well. There's another one a half a block further That's a shit. He's got shit face. Well, it's morning Python time. Yeah, I got to shit myself a little bit Not shit myself, but I have to shit as well. All right. Well, I got a new role in there just say it I don't get any roles folks Well, that's the this is the other thing with with acting you see is people and there's managers that are like you want to act You got to blow up your social media like stop rows He's getting acting gigs because he's huge. He's famous. Right. And he's you know, he has certainly as a look He's got a look and he's a fine actor, but if you get big People will go hey, that's the first for us. No, I'm sitting June sitting June walking by the window. That's exciting And we're talking about acting You know, we should do we should have a little whiteboard with all the races and genders Check them off as they come by Because that would have been a big get right there. That's like a bingo You know, we got one back. I had the big Abe Lincoln hat and the the curly cubes the payus curly fries Um, what was I saying? Oh, acting you get if you get huge people just They want to have you in the stuff right because they know such the movie business now is dying Jerry Yeah, so they go hey, we can get Mark Norman that will sell 50,000 tickets to the movie exactly It's a sad state of affairs, but they've always done this they go hey put Elvis in this throw Elvis a role Right you got Elvis on the cover, but uh Oh, what was I gonna say blow up you can get acting work acting stuff you get off of stuff I just don't like this world we're living in some guy goes hey, what's the guy who did Eddington? Have you heard of this movie Eddington? Yeah, I saw it. That's uh Ariaster. Yeah Then my agent goes hey, Ariaster wants you to watch his movie and I go that's amazing I go what he mentioned me and he goes yeah, he's a big fan of your word. He wants you to watch the movie and I go This is fishy and they set me a link to a what do you call that uh not a screener screener And I go all right he goes yeah, I want you to watch a movie that he wants you to write a review on social media And I'm like oh, that's what it is so they go. Oh, this guy's got a million followers. Oh, because you're an influencer send him the movie He'll write about it now this buzz. Oh, so he doesn't know who I am he doesn't give a shit about my opinion He just like oh, he's got a couple followers Send him to the movie, have him write about it and that's that's a commercial interesting maybe this got to be Something there. I'm sure he sent it to Kylie Jenner Matt rife and the Rizzler the big three. Yes, exactly The Rizzler, that's a guy. Oh, he's a fat little kid. You've seen him. I don't think so. He's fat. He's little He's not that old Wow, are yeah, I mean, that's great. You should do it. That's a good favor of old AA. I guess but I Don't care for the the the The wool over the eyes. Oh Like he doesn't know I am he might you never know he's young. He's cool. He's in the arch We're in the arts for God's sake. You want to go. Hey, all right. I'll I'll watch that in red review You watch my special in red review and your social media. Yeah, it's good for the goose is good for the anal Well, sometimes you get these people who are famous or big and they write to a message and they're like I love the special I was dying. You're like, what would you mind making this public because you can really help me out here It'd be nice. I've had multiple people like that that are like Very big and in different circles outside of our circle be like I'm a fan. You're like fucking post it once That's what you need is the outside circles That's where because people always go. Hey, I'm putting a special out. I'll go do bad friends or I'll go do Rogan or I'll go to that They've all got on board. They like you already know to the view. I know people are mad because they're like you told this story on Sagalow's pod and then this pod and I'm like well, I'm trying to get other people. I know I only have so many stories Don't listen to me on other pods if you don't want to hear the stories from the stories. I guess so that's tough It's tough because then you want to do well with the good story as well. Yeah, you get a good story It's you want to tell it but then you also want your fans to watch Sagalow too. I don't care about his Okay, or him how about this email by the way, you're gonna like this. I think you're gonna like this email I get this today. Hi Joe. Just listen to your interview on Sagdaddy to pod interview nice work getting on such a respected show Are you interested in being a guest on more shows like this? That's exactly what pod pitch helps with is this already Esther I have in sped up spending hours chasing hosts our platform blah blah Want me to send over the details? PS mentioning your sad Sagdaddy pod appearance in future pitches would definitely make you stand out to hosts Wow, this is like some kind of robot. Yeah, yeah, it's a hilarious idea They're gonna reach out people make this guy's been on Sagdad. I Mean it it's Sagdaddy blow up in the time that I've been sitting here. He called an interview So probably think she's like the new Larry King very funny to call an interview But anyways, this is the thing this is why I stopped doing a movie pod because if Ariaster knows you he might go I love Mark Norman. He's got a podcast. Let me check it out and then it cuts to me going Ari asked to can't make a movie to save his life that piece of shit. He's overrated exactly and Next thing you know old Jed's a millionaire. So you got to be careful now because people know you you can't just say hey That's true Spielberg sucks. He might be watching. Well now that poses the question Does Ron on hate? One battle after another He hasn't seen it yeah, good. Let's keep it that way. Just know he's gonna. It's the first thing I wrote to him I was like I fucking loved it. I know you're gonna hate it and I know his complaint is gonna be because I've heard other people say this and it's a it's a fair I want to talk about this other pet peeve. I have it's a fair criticism lack of character development Why is that I won't give anything away, but you're like why is this guy? An ultra radical leftists. Why is this guy racer? How did they come to meet? What's he in this for right? They don't really do much of that. That's true. So it's a fair criticism of I didn't it wasn't I wasn't bothered by it But I feel like he's gonna do that and then he says this and this drives me crazy. Do you know how do you feel about this? He goes I didn't see it soon enough now the build up is out of control. Okay, but I hate people or When people I don't hate people. I hate when people use the build up as a criticism of the film Of course of course I completely agree go in for it. So just pretend you didn't hear it like you're gonna judge the movie on the merits of the film Yes, if everybody says it's the greatest movie of all time You go, uh, it wasn't the greatest movie of all time. Did you like it or didn't you right? I will say the I can I can see how the hype Can fuck your head up about how great the movie right, but it doesn't it shouldn't make you go that was a bad movie right? You know so because I got hyped from eight different friends and I was like, oh my god I can't wait and it was great But I did get the hype a little much because like the first five minutes. I'm waiting to be gizzed on right come on. Where is it? So yeah, but great film. I mean me and Salah Q's went and the guy goes you want to spend 10 more bucks and get the 4d Stravaganza and I go yeah, I went for it. Dicks. It's the water on you and shit. It's water on you It puts a cock in your mouth. I mean the seats go like this. It was so cool Really well, that's see I don't want to give anything away, but the scene on the highway at the end that's special That's a special scene when those seats were going up like I was in it. I was in that fucking Mustang Wow, see I don't like the spit that to me that stuff the spit in the water is when you go see the 12 monkeys for whatever It's called planted in the monkeys. Oh, yeah, some bullshit sure this is cinema I but it enhanced it for sure. I mean, it was like getting a handy and then hit a handy Yeah, I'm gonna see it again. I loved it. I thought it was fun as fuck. There was a couple moments I had little things from like I just a little much, but the CEO del Toro I just he was amazing the caprio was great sensei the beer the Modellos I mean and Sean Penn's gonna win a Oscar. That was beautiful and Very mirrored. I don't want to give too much away, but it's you know It just shows the right and the left how they're not that different. It's like secret societies and tunnels and Extremism and all this. Yeah, it was fun as fuck It flew by the theater was full, which I liked that was fun and there was laughs and I was dying I was here to ear and now I have the thing we've talked about this before but I have the thing now when I get a Sitter and now you're out so you're the baby's being sat and I'm out with the wife and you have popcorn and candy So you're in the theaters full so you're like this is awesome. Yes, so I saw f1 and I was like this will be fucking rules Yeah, I saw adding to it and I was like this is amazing. So it's possible. I have that Tilt and let's see the second time and be like Maybe I didn't like as much or maybe I'll be like this is even better than I thought but I was just Loan Jerry. It's almost like showing an Amish guy bosom buddies. He's like oh my god look at the picture look at the laughs the jokes The the kerfuffle. I love it. It's like any more of you's a little bit about the ritz cracker This is a regular cracker. Yeah, so uh cracker. I Loved it. I thought it was so fucking fun. Chuck you haven't seen it yet The scene on the roof. I mean there's some beautiful just Shots. Yeah, see it on the roof of the skateboarders jumping. I mean, oh my god. I'm so pretty howling howling. I was howling. Yeah, but he was great It was it was tremendous good fun. I don't joke. You might have to help this FedEx guy. Oh boy. I don't know if you're spying can take it Well, yeah, I know I don't care, but Teasing and joking. I feel bad. I care very much spinal tipped I've seen the trailer for that. I don't know it. Yeah I couldn't even watch everybody says naked guns pretty good. I couldn't do it. No, I can't do it either boy Chuck is a real home run. Look at this guy. He's out there. Oh, no, he's doing a limp thing That's very funny. He's a funny guy. If he wasn't around comedians, it'd be a funny guy With less it really makes it less funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but hey great film. I saw it 11 a.m. and in 42nd Street I love a morning film. I wish there was more people in there though. What do you got? Oh, that's important. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is all part of the lawsuit, Jerry. So you're just in a lawsuit. I am in Deep you don't feel like a lawsuit guy. I'm not You're wearing swim trunks. I mean, I just insane to think about I had to go how about this fatty? I had to go to a high rise in Midtown Manhattan to fight with my guy That is crazy. So there's me a lawyer the realtor the guy who are suing scary Turkish guy I was like my friend my friend. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no and his lawyer who's like a crazy acidic Jew and we're all going And then some guy had to go all right all right. We got a real meeting here I mean, and then the guy goes Me you in a room To me like the contractor I was suing goes oh my god. Give me five minutes alone in a room with you I could kind of change your mind and my lawyer goes I advise against that and I was like I don't think that's a good idea and he's like I feel like I need to talk to you man to man You don't know what you're doing. This is crazy. You're making a big mistake And I was like you made a big mistake, but I'm like I'm an adult. I'm yelling at a man. Wow A Turkish man. This is just too much for my brain. How did you take a nap? Oh, it was horrible I want you going into the more. No, I think we think we I think we won Wow, but it was it was I lost a lot of money on it, but it was the principal right. He fucked me. Jesus. So I had to I couldn't let him fuck me And just get away. Scott free. So I still got fucked But I had to it doesn't he owe you money now or something a little but I'm still the legal fees are bananas Wow, this is crazy. Yeah, all cuz the house was shotty or something like that Yeah, he screwed us and I put you know a foot would go through the floor He said it's all done. He said what do you want? We said we want this this and this he did everything completely wrong just up to his code and Was the thing where the new guy came and he was like that's a legal that's crazy That'll kill you. You got a baby in here. What are you nuts? So where did you find the first guy? Well, the first guy I don't want to say too much cuz you might okay. Yeah, triple sue me This is a midst of a lot. Thank you boy name Sue, but he was like Hey, I own this house if you buy it from me. I'll fix it up - Give me a nice little package deal And we were such a retard gullible cleaves. We're like sounds great. Hey two for one and Before we know it. He's you know putting Putting glass on the floor called it a wood. Well whoever the new guy is fucking knocked it out of the park This is unbelievable. I mean this room. I've said it before. This is one of the best rooms I've ever set footed in my life. Oh my god. Thank you. It's just beautiful the blue with the brick the off I mean we need to do something but the window shades at some point. That's true But this is like I would spend my whole life down here I spent a lot of time down here wrote a lot of jokes down here But yeah, it's funny because the wife was like she saw me setting all this up She goes yikes boy you don't know a classic man can't decorate unless you're gay and then now everybody's like Hey, it's great. Yeah, looks fantastic. I put that test together put that together put this together Put that shelf together put this together feels good to do it by hand I feel like Jenna Daya, a man amish Ten minutes left. Yeah, it's good. That's gonna be in home alone that spider is gonna fall right off top of it Well, this looks like it's not you. It's the it looks like the thinnest looks like popsicle sticks. It is it looks like it's If you nudged it would just come to part. Yeah, yeah, it's Flimsy if you did one of these It would just And then collapse, but it all looks great and we're we're here. We're queer. By the way, do we have we told the story? I don't really have a story. I talked about the special But what do you got you got any good have anything? What do I have? I'm so fucking Out of my asshole. Yeah, and I'm making this movie wearing pre-production on Skankfest the documentary. Oh my god This is really happening. Oh, it's happening baby. Yeah, I got nothing. What have I even been doing? I don't even know what you know what it was. I was home this way You talk about like now where you you go to Australia everything's just great So you don't have a great stories because you're like it was great the shows were great the people were great the vacation was great Now I'll take when I'm home. I take the weekend off so Sarah could work. Yeah, so I'm literally At home playing with a baby. He goes to bed and I watch television. Oh, that sounds great It's wonderful, but I don't have a story. I'm like, well, I went to my balcony and smoked just a go It was crazy. I was puffing in and puffing out in and out I mean, I will say I have a balcony and I I always want to Watch something while I'm smoking of course, but you got to be outside. I can't smoke inside It's get the phones the 90s. Well, I have the TV and I just Click the chair around this way and cock the TV this way and football. I don't need to hear so I watched a football game with a cigar Oh, that's nice. So that was beautiful and fun Of course, you have the thing where you're like you piece of shit. You should be out working. What are you doing? But you know be with a two-year-old for fucking 14 hours his work in itself. So totally Oh boy, I feed up and now with our job so much of the work is Texas guy back and now this guy record all the fucking. Oh, oh, so I always used to suck my dick for fun. So You know what about You got that you got that nice bar across three from your house with that outdoor seating. Yes What of me and you get a couple stokes? I think they got a TV out there. Oh, yeah, this TV I've seen the open playing on that puppy. I think you can smoke out there. Yeah, it's outdoor You can't smoke outdoors. Is that right? Well, where do you smoke? I smoke on my balcony I upset some people because the people above the smoke went right in the window But they didn't it couldn't pinpoint me. Oh good. So they were like there's somebody's smoking out there And then the guy the super my building he's a smoker and he likes me because he likes comedy He loves shults. I told you. He showed me a 40 minute shults pit Oh, it's great And then he was like don't fuck him. He's like they don't know where they where you're coming from who cares But there is a spot by the boats where we could go smoke. Okay, both come over. We'll smoke now We'll get a bonus. I love it. That's big by the way if you ever want to see my house Not my house, but the neighborhood the scene in Wolfenwald street where he's on the boat. That's the iage and Tyler Chandler Is that his name? That's quite a pull no Kyle Chandler either way. He that whole scene. That's that's my mall and everything in the back I'm there every single day. Wow. I put it together the other day I went and watched it and I was like there we are. That's our house. You got that great. I don't want to give your whole address away 3819 Camp Street But you got that you you wrap around like a you turn around that river there that bend and you got a What is it JP McSwarley's what's that place called? It's one of these famous New York restaurants that they move downtown. Oh PJ Clark. PJ Clark. Yeah. Oh, it's great Oysters on the half-shell right on that water big yachts and everything. It's very fun And in the winter I don't know if you've been there yet for the win, but I was there last year. Okay, they got the ice rink Oh, they got an ice rink Jerry. That's what you know you've made it. You're right by the ice. Yeah, it's all very exciting We got to come down. We recorded there for a minute. That was fun. Oh, yeah Um Yeah, very happy Hey folks, Julie stories brought you by mood. It's 2025 stop text in your dealer that makes you smoke with him The good people at mood.com believe the cannabis should be accessible affordable and trans Parent mood grows on small American farms. No pesticides. No BS and they can ship to most states in the US They've got edibles flowers vapes pre rolls and beverages We love mood. I take a nice little nibble to go to bed. I cannot sleep without the cannabis. I need it Makes you feel better. Makes you mood better. It's good for you Everybody's on the mood get on it folks and feel good and clear your mind We got gummies for everything immune support menopause relief pms Mental clarity sexual arousal whatever you need. They'll match your mood. Wow. That's impressive First of all not only does mood stand behind everything with a industry leading 100 day satisfaction guarantee But Tuesday's with stories fans get 20% off their first order at mood.com with code two's days Again, that's twos days at mood.com for 20% off your first order mood.com Code twos days mood products are only for adults 21 and over. Get some mood Ladies and gentlemen, we have got to introduce a new sponsor Today's episode is brought to you by I hope I'm saying a right Fabletics fabletics fabletics fabletics we love we're waiting right now I have fabletics socks pants t-shirt on pants Overshirt t-shirt. It's unbelievable. They sent us a massive box of clothes. I went through it last now I didn't even know what it was. I just thought oh here's some crap somebody sent us whatever. Yep I started opening one piece of the time and I thought maybe I'll keep a couple things. I'll throw everything else away Yeah, I kept it all Running shorts, running pants, hang pants, formal dress pants, I mean that's formal but like nice dressy pants T-shirt socks. You're never gonna see me in anything other than fabletics. Yep Because this stuff is awesome. If you live in activeware, I do, you can never have enough But the good stuff usually costs a fortune. Check out fabletics. They make pieces that feel premium and perform like the expensive brands without the crazy price tag They fit and feel and are dialed in while being comfortable, durable and stylish enough For everyday wear. I mean, I don't know what else to say other than I'm wearing it right now. It's the best It's so comfy. It's so nice. It's awesome. I ran with it earlier. I worked out. I mean I've been wearing it all day Here here. I'm up doing shows in it tonight. Me too. Fabletics isn't just about good deals. They've They have has They've has been that's not that's them. They have has been Easy they have has been carbon neutral since 2021 and half of their fabrics are made from recycled materials You got a recycle I don't know that get the best deals by becoming a fabletics VIP get 80% off everything in their store when you suck Up that's crazy. Plus exclusive benefits like a credit to use toward a full outfit or bundle up to 100 bucks Treat yourself to gear that looks good feels good and doesn't break the bank with fabletics go to fabletics Dotcom slash Tuesdays and sign up as a VIP to get 80% off everything. That's fabletics.com slash Tuesdays To sign up as a VIP and get 80% off everything. That's fabletics.com Slash Tuesdays. We'll have it in the show notes. You got to get on this the best Jerry the best Begin of a inhaling So boulder I think it's more elevation than Denver sure, so I kept getting headaches and I was like yeah my hungover my gay do I have a - What is this? - The last thing you need is eggs. - Yeah, and the guy at the theater goes, you know, we have oxygen. And I go, wow, come on, I don't get the oxygen thing. 'Cause we have oxygen here, but they have a tank. - Right, but it's thin. So it's hard to pull it in, I think. - Is that it? Thin air? - I think so. - But air isn't just oxygen. Oxygen's a piece of air, so you get direct oxygen. - Ah, this carbohydrates are a CO4. - Absolutely. - So I go, yeah, hit me with the oxygen. So he pulls open a door, 18 green metal tanks. I got a jaws. - Wow. - Pulls when I look like a helium thing, we go, you know? And he goes, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Put some mask on my face, like Bane, I was born of the darkness. And he goes, and you go, whoo, I feel good. - Really? - It works. Man, you feel like, you know, they pump me into casinos as well. - I've heard that. - Yeah, so, okay, just making sure my address is a joke. - No. - But, yeah, oh my God, I popped that oxygen. Best set of my life. - No kidding, I thought they were gonna give you the tube with the two little prongs. - Oh, they put it behind your ear, you know that thing? - Yeah, that's what they always give the guys about to die on death row. - This guy, yeah. - Yeah, just be able to take a hit of it. It's quite nice, it seems like. - Oh, it's all good. - It's all good, it's all good. - It's all good. - It's all good. - It's all good. It's all good. - It's all good. - It's all good. - It's all good. - Yeah. Wow. Boy, this is sad time to be alive. That's a good thing about PTA is he made a goddamn original film. What a concept. Yeah. And he makes such different movies and he's good that guy. This one felt more had a more Tarantino vibe, I thought. Yeah, there's very Tarantino we at different times. The black chick up on the bank table going, I'm jungle pussy, you know? That's such a Tarantino. I don't want to be with the machine. Yes, yes. That was fun. And was I just going to say I had something to say about mountain. No, was it the Tarantino thing? Oh, speaking of film and filmmaking, what a bummer for these yogurt shop murder people. They solved it. Well, they got the movie out. No, but they solved it like a week after the movie came out. If they just held on, they could have had a solution, like a resolution. They put out a four part dock. And then it ends with just like, so we never know. Hopefully. And then like three days later, like we got them. But is the is the chicken of the egg? Did the movie coming out help solve it? No, I don't think so. There was just DNA because that was hilarious. Part of the dock was like the DNA. This DNA of another guy. And they're like, well, it's been contaminated. Oh, there's your wife. Ah, and I realized it was her before I said something. Yeah. But they like figured out they're like, oh, yeah, DNA contamination. It's been kept getting contaminated by the same guy, which is like the funniest thing because people have like something in their head. Oh, they're like, well, someone else's DNA keeps showing up. Like, no, no, no, it was these three retards. Right. Some guy just keeps contaminating it. Yeah. And then obviously that's the killer. Wow, it took them long enough. But they figured it out. And it's this serial killer guy who killed himself in 1999. So he's dead. But then ballistics say, my brother-in-law lives in Austin. So he's got his nose to the grind stone. And he said ballistics say there was two shooters, but it's possible. The one guy just had two guns like Tarantino. Right. He was just like, Billy, Billy, the kid at the yogurt shop. So I guess I don't get a motive because he's dead. Well, I think he's a serial killer. I think maybe he raped the girls. I think that's a motive. What a fucking awful thing said to three cute little like 13-year-old girl for four even. Yeah. Jesus Christ. I finished coming by three. How about people that are like, I'm just going to fuck women against their will. Those are those are real stinky pies. Just jerks. It's real. Well, how do you get it up with that situation? And then it's also like, I've gotten like the, oh, she's like, it's not in yet. You're like, oh, shit. So imagine going against the will with the kicking and the screaming and the clawing. But I think that's all part of their thing. The kink. That's the kink. Yeah. I don't want to call it a kink because it feels like you would. Yeah. There you go. Okay. Thank you. The kinks because my kink is like, you know, a shoe in my ass and my father's headshot. But I mean, my kink is leaving after. That's my big move. Is that a joke? Joke ears? Maybe feels like an old joke here, but if not, it could be something. Hey, new stuff. I need it. I know. Believe me. Maybe we should bounce like the old. Oh, I loved it. But never bounce. Chuck bounces. I got a bounce. All right. I'll bounce. Good fabric softer. Yeah. Hold on. I got nothing new. I have all new, but nothing new. New. What do you mean? New? My act is all relatively. It's not on the special. It's last three months. And I got about 45 minutes. It's good. It's nice. It's killing. But I have nothing new in like in the last two weeks. You want the like new fresh new? Maybe you haven't even tried it yet. Yeah. That's exciting. You know, just like something written down that you're like, that's going to be something. How cool is our job? But we go, hey, I got an idea. Let me go work on it. Let me go. Let me go bring this idea and flesh it out. It's such a cool gig. Yeah, it's feeling an artist. It's very nice. You are an artist. Isn't that crazy? Me? I fart. Yeah, you're a fartist and an artist. Yeah. Okay. They're not just an artist. You're a successful one. That's even rarer. Very rare. Very rare. Yeah. It's crazy. And you pump out, Jerry. Oh, I tried to pump like oxygen and boulder. You're pumping. But now I got all these people. This is the problem with this business and this time we're living in. You got to put stuff out and I don't want to give the act away. Sure. So now I go and I'll go for round for eight minutes to show. Six minutes to show four minutes to show. Oh, wait, and then you put that together over the course of weekend. You put it up. Put it on YouTube feed the algorithm. Yeah. Got to give them the people to something. Yeah. And then they go, boy, you used to be good. Now you're doing this bullshit. I'm like, well, it's not. That's not my act. All right. I got people emailing me like, is it just going to be that crowd work or shit? I'm like, I put out four hours. I have a fifth hour. Wow. This is a 22 minute video over the course of five hours. That's four minutes an hour. Right. And it's funny. Right. But you can't figure it out. You're like, I got to put something out. So you put something out and people go, I like that. I hate it. You should be doing this. I'm like, well, I am doing that. I'm doing that in a little bit of this. Yeah. I know. I know. It's people are sick. You know, I put out a special whatever two years ago. And it was 54 minutes. And they were like, not even an hour. I'm like, I could give you 45. I could give you 30. Right. But I gave you a 55 because I edited it to the best shit. Yes. And 55 is an hour. I know. Go back and watch whatever. Some of them are a 53 or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they're an hour and a half. And you're like, this is 20 minutes a nonsense. And then one guy who we all like and respect put out a long one, they went, could have been a half hour shorter. Right. All right. Well, but again, we're calling the people, eight people who are cut. I know. I always forget that. Yeah. It's the negativity bias because most people come up after the show and they're like, I'm not even on Instagram. And they're just shaking and take a photo and they kiss you on the lips. And they love you. Right. So it's annoying. And this is going to get controversial. And maybe I shouldn't put it in. How are we looking? Damn, not even an hour. So, well, you go like, Hey, this is this black guy or this Jew or whatever. And they go, Hey, not all Jews are the same. Hey, you know, that that's one guy. Don't say the whole group. But then if you go, if you say something bad about Jews, they go, Oh, you hate Jews. And I'm like, well, how come it's not one guy? It was one guy. It was what I said they all do this. You go, no, that was one guy. But if I go, Hey, this guy sucks. They go, Oh, you hate it. You're anti-Semitic. And I'm like, well, how come when you are bad at me, it's all Jews? Right. But when I say it's all Jews, you go, no, it's one guy. I'm trying to follow. So I know it's a little confusing. So like, give me an example. You say all these these Jews over here. They smell like shit. And then one guy goes, no, that guy smelled like shit. It's not all Jews. Okay. Okay. That's fair. Okay. Got it. Then you go, Hey, you get caught going, Hey, this Jew guy smells like shit. They go, Oh, you hate all Jews? You know, this guy's anti-Semitic. Right. And I'm like, well, how come now it's all Jews? Uh-huh. When I made front of the Jew, you went, Hey, that's one guy. Uh-huh. You know, if you go, all Jews do this, they go, no, that one guy does that. Right. If you go, this Jew's a piece of shit, they go, this guy's anti-Semitic. So now it's all Jews. When it's bad, it's all Jews. Right. Right. Right. Does that make sense? Well, you gave the same example both times. That's what it's mixing up a little bit. So you got to say, Oh, man, like for instance, Jews love baseball. Okay. That's true. Because many, many Jews, but obviously not all Jews love baseball. That's a positive thing. They love baseball. Yeah. And Jews love baseball and you go, well, not all Jews love baseball. Right. Right. Right. - You go, you go, some Jew, you can't put all. - Yeah. - Do you care if I throw an example out? - Get an example, 'cause check, you got, we need a third administrative, whatever you call that. - Do you see what I'm saying? - I see what you're saying. - We gotta get the examples, right? - Yes, yes. - This is example. Let's say you say the N word, you feel like my buddy who's black said I could say it. - Okay. - Then they go, well, he doesn't count for everybody. He's one black guy. - Right. - But then if you say something, - If you call that guy, some guy at N word, then you're racist. - You're racist. - That's a better example. - Okay. - That's good. - Well, I think, well, that's a tough example too, 'cause if you, if the N word is in your vernacular, that means you probably have some kind of, some hate in your heart. - Yeah. - For the whole race. - That's a tough word. - But I see what you're saying, absolutely. - All right. - We're trying to, we don't have the examples right, but I understand. - And that's why I've worked shopped it here, 'cause if I pulled that shit out on a podium, when I get canceled at a press conference, they're gonna go, what the fuck is this guy talking about? I'm like, no, no, no, I have something, but if you don't have a succinct argument, you look like a retake. - But I am blown away on a serious note, but we'll make it silly. - Please. - Like the, the acceptance of antisemitism is just really fascinating. - Mind boggling. - Because the other day, it was, oh, it was 9/11. Somebody, I follow all these cinema Instagrams, cinematologists in the movie, lover, and movie farts, whatever. - Cinema file. - And it's my whole algorithm. And someone posted like a photo of Al Pacino in CERPICO with the Twin Towers in the back, and then there was like 9/11 thing. 70% of the comments were like, "Jews did it," or like, "Gifts," or "Jifts," what are they called of like, "Jews, Dance," and it's like just now completely acceptable and common to be like, "The Jews did 9/11," and then Tucker Carlson, your boy, not your boy, but some of these people, they got mad at me for particularly, are he's boy. - There you go. - He's like at the Charlie Kirk Fuehner, and he'll be in like, "The Jews killed Jesus, and the Jews killed Charlie Kirk." And he's like laughing, and people are like, "Oh yeah, it's like fucking crazy." - Wow, yeah, and there's no repercussion either. You know, you go, "Hey, black people, whatever." And people go, "Get BLM down there, he's a racist, kill his, you know, get rid of his job." But with the juiced up, you're kind of, it's got free. - And Brad Garrett, not the entertainment lawyer, Brad Garrett, if the balls could drop. - Oh, my favorite book. - Brad Garrett, yeah, is that over there? - It's around here somewhere. - That is classic. He posted some conspiracy theory video about Charlie Kirk was an inside job, and he's like, we should ask Netanyahu, like Brad Garrett, who's like a Hollywood actor, presenting at the Emmys. Everybody loves Raymond, it's just like, Metanyahu, whatever the fuck his name is. BB. - BB. - Netanyahu. Benjamin Netanyahu was combining his names. He did it. He killed Charlie Kirk, and like, this is fucking nuts. - Wow. - This is fucking crazy. - Well, you know what it is? The Jew hate has become conspiracy, where hating Mexicans is racist. - Right. - Jew hate has become this like, oh, you're in on something. This guy knows, he's got the head on the grindstone of the railroad tracks or whatever it is, and you know something. - Right. - When it's hating Mexicans, he goes, ah, it's a shitty. - Yeah, I saw Tim Dylan, our friend, and fellow comedian, he had a guy on that was like, implying the Jews did Charlie Kirk as well. - Wow. - Tim's like, ah, it's crazy. I'm like, wait, wait, this is-- - It's strange how accepted it is, and you know, in Nigeria, they're killing Christians like hotcakes. And no one cares, and I think 16 million Christians have died in the past 20 years by the hands of, like they go to church and they just blow them down. They have footage of it. - Wow. - And no one cares, because they're not, what is it, no Jews, no news? Is that all termed? - Oh, I'll turn them. - Yeah, that's a big one. And you go, I thought you guys all gave a shit about the babies and the families and the murder and the genocide. Millions have died over here. And this is, he's still in the thousands. I'm not saying it's good, but shouldn't it go big to small with the compassion? - You would think. - Thank you. - That speech with the fight is great, but yeah, the Jews did not do 9/11 folks, and the Jews did not kill Charlie Kirk. And they did, yeah, they did ruin my neighborhood. - Oh, Kennedy, too, that's another big thing. - Oh, sure. - Oh, my god, the Jews came to Kennedy. I'm like, what are you nuts? - Yeah. - That's, sorry. - Lee Harvey Osstein. - Yeah, Osborn. - Folks. - Osberg. - Anyways, that was a weird ending. - Yeah. - It was fun. - I think we had fun. Is Jewish stereotype is? We hang out with a lot of heaps. - Sure. - I run a podcast with one. I run two shows with two Jews. Varied, I'm steeped in the whitefish, bagel, locks, conflicted Jewish community. Number one's there, they're not cheap. That's bullshit. It ain't whatever. What's running the media? They all can't get specials. But interrupting. - That is the number one Jewish stereotype. Take it to the bank. Think about every-- - Soda's Jewish? (laughing) - Soda bomb. - Oh, bomb. - Hey, that's good. - But yeah, Soda, Sodastein. Nah, just saying, big interrupters. - What about Vader? - All right, he's the exception, but he's barely Jewish. He's sold Coke, he played hockey. - That's true. He's about selling Coke, you know, he sell things. - That's true, but he's a skinhead. - Oh yeah, good point. - Aha, I have a point. - Kept just a quarter, Joe. He's not a big interrupter. He's a good listener. - A quarter, they like a quarter and a dime. But where are you gonna be there, Sloppy Jolopy? - Well, first of all, I feel terrible. I hurt your feelings. I zinged you earlier. I can't stop thinking about it. - Oh, sorry. I was trying to be funny. - I never report retort. - I feel terrible. - You thought that was me, but you got upset. I just couldn't think of anything. - No, I feel bad. I'm sorry, it's charming. You're a good man. I love you. - I don't do it. - I think you're great. - All right, so I got a bunch of dates. I keep forgetting to plug 'em. I'm so bad at plugging. Boy, the problem, this is the problem with getting a modicum of success. Is now, when you sell tickets, you're supposed to sell all the tickets. - Yeah. - And then they send you that report. It's the worst part of my life. - Oh, I hate the number. - You get the email. It's your agent. Here are the numbers and you go, "Good God, I gotta kill myself." - I know, you gotta get to work. - And they're like, "Wow, don't worry. It's a last minute market." I'm like, "I better fucking hope it's a last minute market." - Have you heard the old line from the Wall Street Words Talk numbers screen? - Ooh. - And boy, I ain't ain't the truth. - That's good stuff. - Wait, when does this come out? What day is this? - 21st of October. - Are you fucking serious? We are way ahead. - Well, I'm going to-- - Oh, yeah, you're going to-- - You're not going to-- - Africa for a while. - Yeah. - Okay. - We're going to lines. This weekend, I'm at the Dallas Improv. And then the, why don't I have my dates better? I am a very bad businessman. I'm at the Dallas Improv this weekend. That's gonna be fucking fun as hell. I love that room so much. - Absolutely, great room. - I cannot find my dates. God damn it. New Brunswick, stress factory. No, I'm missing comics. Come home for this. So please come. November 6th through the 8th. And then the DC Improv. That is November Jesus Christ. I think 13th through the 15th. I don't fucking know. But one of those dates, DC Improv, Dallas Improv, New Brunswick, stress factory. Oh, and then Lexington, I said Louisville. I'm an asshole. I apologize to all the Kentucky's out there. I confused my L-Cities. It's not that big of a state. You can make it to Lexington. So Lexington, whatever that-- Oh, I found my dates. - Comedy on Broadway, that's a great club. You got a good run of hot rooms there, fatty. - Well, I got the best agent in the sky. The DC Improv is November 20th through the 22nd. Sorry, this is going on way too long. And that's it. Thank you. Oh, watch the movie, please. - There you go, folks. Hey, quafes out there. I'm at McGubbies in Baltimore. Four shows, two are sold out. So go grab the other ones if you can. Grab your partner for a dance. Then we're at DC as well. Two shows in the Kodak Center in Rochester, New York. Skankfest, Nola. That's going to be Nuts. Niagara Falls in Ontario, the Casino Falls View Casino. And then we're off to San Diego at the Observatory, two shows, and Minneapolis at a Casino. And then I'm doing some gigs with Gillis at the arenas. - Oh, nice. - Easy money, 20 minutes, kick a plane. So come on out, say hello, get some bodega cat, quafin up, what do you got, chew, chew, train. Check out my podcast, "Fun Bearable." Big drama, "Rays Leave in the Show." - Oh! - Episode 16, "Rae Harrington is out the door." - Wow. - I gotta ask him how he did that. - Yes. But all through October, we're doing a big Friday the 13th month. - That was a reference to the regs, not this show. - I get it. - All right. - Yeah, we're going to have Cain Hotter on, who is a big horror staple who's played Jason in the most Friday the 13th week. - Wow. - Yeah, people love it. - You get some good fucking guests. - Why don't you book us some people? - I don't know, let's show them that. - That's why Link Brad is going to do the whole cast of Christmas vacation, including Chevy Chase. - Wow! - The Pyreth, wow. - The Red Garrett. - We're going to do it at Rhode Island Comic Con. - Yeah. - Because that in Yahoo was behind the murder. (laughing) - Can we get him? That's Yahoo. - So we're doing that, we're doing a big rundown of all the movies from this actual video rental store that we go to. to in Connecticut that's let's just do it every year. It's really fun. So check out funbearablepod.com at FunbearablePod. - It's not gonna help him in the business. I'm calling out Netanyahu. - No, I think the opposite is true. I think the business is all pal. Did you watch the Emmys? - Oh, yeah, people think that. - But yeah. - All right, I guess you're right. Well, that just proves they're not running the media. If Harvey or Bardem is wearing a Kaffu-Fu. - Right. - All right, folks, sorry. We ended on another weird note. - Yeah, it was real in the episode, that's what they do. Thank you. Bye, you guys.