178. 6 Subtle Signs You’re Facing Economic Abuse — Even In ‘Good’ Relationships

What if I told you that economic abuse doesn't always look like abuse at all? It can sound like don't worry babe, I'll handle everything or you don't need to work, I've got you. Sometimes it doesn't look toxic, sometimes it looks nice. This is investing made simple for European women. The no-charging, no-judgment podcast for women who have no idea where to start, the no-it's time to grow their money. We break it all down with simple steps you can learn while sipping your cappuccino or applying your face cream in the morning. I'm your Oscar Francesca, founder of Sensational Women. Let's get started! Welcome back. In this episode we are going to talk about how to spot economic abuse even in relationships that it seem amazing on the outside. You learn six sub-tall signs to look out for how to protect yourself and why understanding money is the tool that changes everything. But let's talk about something a little uncomfortable today, but deeply important not because I want to make use of species, but because I want to make use of rain, so safe, so steady, so dumb smart, that no one ever gets to confuse your kindness for weakness. We're talking about economic abuse and yes, it can happen even in relationships that look perfect on Instagram, even in the ones that feel supportive, even when no one is yelling or threatening. Let's go. So first of all, what is economic abuse? According to UK chart Refugee, it's any situation where someone tries to control your ability to acquire, use or maintain economic resources. It doesn't always look like a controlling narcissist. Sometimes it looks like, "Hey babe, you're so good with money, why don't you just handle all the bills?" or "Don't worry about the savings, I've got that covered." You know, it sounds sweet, supportive even, but sometimes it's just a nice outfit on control. So how do you spot it? Here are six wet flags even in nice relationships. One, you don't know how much money you two actually have. You're in the relationship, maybe even living together a married, but the bank accounts mysteriously off limits. In a 2020 UBS study, 56% of women in heterosexual couples let their male partners make the long-term financial decisions alone, even when they wear the primary ear inners. And you know what happens when women don't have access to information? They lose not just clarity but power. Number two, you're discouraged from making your own money. It might start with, "Oh, you don't need to wear, I've got to you." Or, "Oh, that side assholes cute, but are you really going to make anything?" You know, it may feel flattering until it doesn't, because income equals options. And anyone trying to limit your income might also be limiting your exit. Number three, you're asked to co-sign things you don't understand. Might be a car loan, a mortgage, a crypto investment, but when you ask questions, you're told, "Oh, just trust me, I know what I'm doing." That's not partnership. That's gaslighting in a fintech suit. Number four, financial decisions are made without you. And when you bring it up, you're told you're overreacting, or being dramatic, or that is, is bonus, is inheritance, is the decision. If your lives are financially entangled, your decisions should be too. Number five, you're made to feel guilty for spending on yourself, even when it's your own money, even when you're contributed just as much. Maybe it's a common like, "Oh, another pair of shoes, oh, wow, must be nicer to treat yourself." Guilt is a tool of control. Don't let it dress up as concern. Number six, you're punished with money. He's upset and suddenly the joint car stops working. Oh, he forgets to send a rent money. Oh, he revives the budget and now there's mysteriously no space for your needs. Let's be clear, financial punishment is abuse, no matter how pretty the packaging. Now, maybe you're listening to this and thinking, "Okay, maybe I've seen a little of this, but it's not a bad guy." And I believe you. Economic abuse isn't always about beliefs. It's about, it's open about power. In the power, left and spoken tends to concentrate. So here's what you can do if you've spotted a red flag. First, start documenting. You know, right down what's happening. You don't need to act yet, but clarity comes before change. Second, build a buffer. If you don't already have one, start a small personal emergency fund, even 20 year-a-week heads up. Third, get educated. You know, understanding how money works. Investing taxes compounding gives you language and language gives you leverage. You know, in sign investments school, we cover all of this. And in a lead, you even get one-on-ones support. Four, talk to someone. This can be a therapist, a co-to-lawyer or a trusted friend. You don't need to solve it alone. Now, economic abuse drives and silence, but the second you start learning, not the same, and talking about money, it loses its grip. So no, spotting red flags doesn't mean your relationship is dormant, or is over. It means you're awake. And an awake woman is the most powerful financial strategy there is. If this is your home, share it with a friend who needs to hear it. And don't forget to follow this podcast because every week we talk money like it's a lot of language. So see you next time. Stay sovereign and until then, stay sensational. , bye. , bye. , bye.