In this podcast people come to words that are open and honest about their very personal,
mostly for years of experience, with the work of Byron Kethy speaking and the effects
on their life patterns.
Sometimes it's funny or it becomes philosophical and sometimes I even have tears in my eyes.
Hello, I'm Reif Giesen and I'm happy to welcome you to this podcast.
The work of Byron Kethy, known in research as EBSR, Inquiry Based Stress Reduction,
is a simple, powerful process.
First of all, our thoughts and stress-solving belief sets are identified, then they are
examined with help of recurring questions.
In the course of this process, we use the access to all the wisdom that exists within us
and learn to see the world with other eyes.
Often, additional peace is in the inside and growing freedom in the outside is the follow-up.
My guest today is Chris Spieler. Chris was born in 1982 in Heidelberg.
He grew up in peace and was born up to the age of 16, the most beloved son you can imagine.
It followed a moving time, dancing, celebrating, the coming out as a schoolman.
At the time, he was financially successful with sales and insurance without much to understand.
At the same time, he collected enough experience with alcohol, drugs, sleeping pills until he was infected with HIV.
In search of changes, a new partner came into his life, me, and with me, NLP, as a method
for the development of personality and shortly after, Katie and The Work.
Since 2008, Chris has been mainly working with The Work as a coach, as a seminar leader and as an instructor.
Since the founding in 2009, Chris has been working in VTV.
Since May 22nd, he is the chair of the chairman.
Apart from that, Chris has been traveling a lot and feels at numerous places on this planet at home.
In 2020, he has together with his husband, so me, put life on the line to Cyprus.
Hello, dear Chris, welcome.
Who would have thought that we would talk about this form here?
Yes, hello, I am very excited, happy, excited and curious.
Nice to hear my story like this.
I was a dream child until I was 18.
You were still two years older.
Exactly, until I was a guide and then it all started.
What happened then?
Yes, I didn't know what was going on at the time.
But then it all started, and I started to get to know places or myself.
I was born in a small village and it was very sweet.
Everything was very, very lovely and big in full size.
Only what started was through music.
I felt a freedom that I didn't know.
At that time, I didn't know anything about thoughts and what was going on in my head.
And so I came to that later.
And then I got to know myself through techno music in such a way.
On the dance floor, I didn't have any idea at the time and I thought I'd like to dance.
And that started there, getting to know myself.
That was somehow the first big step in that.
What do you mean by that?
What is it that you got to know yourself?
That's what you got to know.
A lot of stress.
I noticed how nervous I was when I was young.
How insecure, how, yes, to wake up with such an inner voice in the morning.
She says, you're not good enough, you're ugly, you're worthless.
And I wasn't aware that I was alive with such an inner voice one day a day.
You're insecure, you can't do that.
You don't know what you're supposed to do, you can't do anything.
Well, yes, so much also physically, I put myself so much physically.
When I was 14, I noticed that one ear, you can't see that anymore.
That one ear is more distant than the other.
And then I went to bed in the evening.
I set up a tennis pole in the morning, and I also glued the ears to my thesis.
And I prayed, "Dear God, dear God, dear God, good morning."
Well, I became Catholic, "Dear God, good morning."
When I woke up, "Please, please, make sure the ears are equal."
And then I woke up in the morning and was very curious.
And in hope, and then I took off my band-aid, of course, it wasn't there.
Oh, that's how it was done. That was the first one, the ears, and then the nose.
That was the, "Dear God, dear God, that's a prison, a prison of thoughts."
I've always looked into a game, I've probably looked into a game for 20 times a day,
or in the foot movement zone, in the big windows where you reflect,
or in cars parked there.
I somehow used every opportunity to look at it.
And maybe now I look a little better than I remember the last time.
Oh, God, that's terrible.
Yes, I'm very...
And that was, to make it clear again, that was before and after dancing, or...?
Before and after dancing.
And that's why such a big insecurity.
I couldn't have called earlier what was going on with me.
I was so unconscious, I didn't know exactly
that there was such a negative voice in me at home, which is in my earlobe.
I didn't know that. I had a bad feeling about it.
But not even that, because I played tennis, I grew up in a great family.
I was a lot of nature.
We played with the whole children on the street.
From the outside, it all looked pretty cool.
But when I was dancing, when I was in this...
In this, maybe it was even...
I took the first half of the exercise with 17 and a half.
And then I was there in Darmstadt, in this club, in Rödermark, in this club,
and I took the first half of the exercise.
And then it took me half an hour until it worked.
And then I felt like it was the first time in my life.
I didn't know the feeling.
So, and that started the search for this freedom.
When I thought, oh, you have to take ecstasy to find a freedom.
Today I don't know if that's true.
There are simpler ways to get to this freedom.
But back then it was my first real physical feeling,
the state of everything in the world.
OK. And when I understood it correctly,
then you took a little more drugs afterwards,
in order to have this state of mind again and again.
Yes, exactly. It was a classic story.
The first time was the most beautiful.
And then when you have it again, you don't want to feel freedom.
Everyone wants to feel freedom, maybe.
So I wanted to feel freedom.
And then it was one, two, then five, ten in the evening.
So I have ten.
Yes, I then had my routine.
I drove to Frankfurt or to Kassel in such a club or to Stuttgart.
And then I prepared myself in the train for the first time.
And yes, I had my routine there.
And on such a, so it's not evening.
I was out like a night and a day or another night in the weekend.
And there were a lot of things coming together.
Yes, and this feeling, I always had the feeling that it was good for me,
because it was such a nice place that I reached there.
Since then, either I have the same feeling.
I have a close feeling with other people.
I didn't have it all in school.
I didn't feel so comfortable, and I didn't have that.
Yes, that was somehow, it started there.
So this, first of all, feeling a sense of freedom and not knowing how else I get it.
Yes, and here we go on.
You have to think about it yourself.
I don't talk so much about my past.
It's, how did it go on?
I then went to Abbey and had quite normal plans.
Such a different topic, which I used to deal with.
It's like, I don't know what to start with my life.
What do you do with this life?
So I'm interested in a lot of things.
But my job, what do I want to do now?
I have no idea.
The one who is a teacher, the one who is a doctor, the one who is in the right world and so on.
We have clear plans and then we have already promoted it for practitioners.
And I watch it and I'm completely lost and I don't even know.
I have the study preparation books in my room and I think, no idea.
Somehow, I then, when I had a bio-performance course,
and I was very interested in it, I thought, if I'm interested in it now,
maybe I have to do something with a bio, a molecular biology in Heidelberg.
I thought, OK, then I study molecular biology in Heidelberg.
OK, then I thought, well, I'll do that.
I had a TV place.
So that was the plan.
And then Abbey passed with my dear friend in July.
We went to the fire in Berlin.
And we only planned to be there for a week.
And I lived in Potsdam with her mother's friend in the letter.
Then we went to Alexanderplatz on a plane to Potsdam.
And then he went to the fire station.
And we both didn't know each other from Berlin.
And then there was a club at Alexanderplatz.
There was a club called Sternradios, a techno club in the room.
It was the first evening.
I was 18.
And then I was in there and then I didn't know Udo.
Right on the first evening when I met Udo in Berlin.
He looked so cute, with black eyes, beautiful black hair and such a really beautiful person.
Out of the blue.
I remember it somehow.
I lost myself.
And I didn't go home the week after that.
I stayed there with Udo.
And that was, I don't know, I think in August.
And at the end of September I had this place with the TV.
And of course I went home because it was the plan.
Then you make the TV and then I go to study.
I sit there in a corner, my place next to a corner.
Then I sit there in this waiting room and I called up.
You have the right information.
Yes, Mr. Spieler, but somehow your name wasn't on the list.
You have to wait again for a semester until you can approach your goal.
My heart is beating so fast at the moment.
Like my whole life plan, a six-month wait, it brings my whole life together with me.
Then I didn't have the full nose.
When I was in contact with Udo the whole time, I always said to him, he would come to Berlin.
Then he said, you know what, he would really go to Berlin.
And what I remember there, my second free moment next to the club that I experienced so far,
that was with Udo in the Kurfürstendamm, is that good?
Yes, exactly, from the KDW in Affenbürgerstein.
There are so many people there, so many people, so many people coming in and so much going on.
And then he knelt down to me with his tongue, so full, just in front of the Kurfürstendamm.
And I, a small country egg, thought, I know the story of you, because you know something similar.
He said, oh, that's why it works, that's so beautiful, that's wild, it feels so right.
Being on this way to school is also a whole story, I also took a long time to remember what my identity is.
And then I sat down, I don't know if I'm sitting in my room today, in the painting.
I have the information, I have to wait six months until I can start my journey.
So then everything shifts backwards and then Udo says, come to Berlin.
Then I have this moment, this kiss in my heart, you think so?
Not with me, I'm on the other way, I'm going to Berlin.
Then I didn't talk to anyone, I'm just going to Berlin.
I broke off contact with my family, with all my friends in Heidelberg.
Everything was just great.
And then I was in Berlin and then with Udo, the first thing I did was really, really nice.
So we now have a quiet life.
There were parties in the living room and all the interesting personalities from Berlin
and one drag queen and other interesting shapes from the nightlife and so on.
From this big city and me from a small country.
I'm in the middle of it, sometimes you have to pinch me and think, how could that happen that I ended up here?
It was wonderful.
But then of course the bottom reality was that you need money.
Of course I didn't have any more money at 18 at some point, I didn't have any more money.
We already heard a little bit about it.
So then the insurance was sold, then it was quite successful, relatively fast.
It's now about in 2002, right?
So about 2002 maybe.
So we have this sheltered childhood.
We have such a sheltered childhood
and then we realize how despite being sheltered and so on, so many stressful thoughts are there.
And then comes the next phase of dancing and drugs.
Somewhere connected with good moments, but also more and more drugs.
Then there comes a good moment again, namely this attack in the description,
this one with a man in Berlin, having a partner and so on.
But somewhere there is a certain drama and somewhere comes a turning point.
Where did he come from?
I still have to say that the drugs were never a topic because they made me feel in such an inner free space.
I always felt comfortable there, at least in Frankfurt, in Berlin, it was then more difficult.
So the relationship with Udo, I also learned a lot with him.
He was also older and the first thing I did was wonderful.
But then it was too much drugs and that didn't go well in my head.
I was so terribly ill and so insecure and at some point I then separated myself from him.
And the process of elimination was not so easy, but I did it somehow and did it.
And then I didn't go to the doctor to do it.
I thought, okay, I'm separated now, I'll start again.
I also do health checks, I didn't do it before.
And so, yes, I went out of the room well.
And a Greek call from the doctor says, "Kris, come over again."
And I say, "Yes, of course."
And then I sit there with him in practice and then I sit up and say, "Kris, I have to tell you something.
Your result for HIV was positive."
I was there in 2002, at the beginning of 2003, when I was 21.
I was sitting in this doctor's room and you get a real nerve together.
I thought, my life is over.
I had treated HIV in the BioUnderrichter.
I knew what that was and at that time something like that.
I thought it was my death judgment.
I thought that was it.
And then they found me in this meeting room for the team.
Library or a conference room for the team.
But there was such a bowl and then I was on this bowl.
I held a glass of water for three hours and it shuddered like that.
And it looked like that from me.
And I thought, my life is over now.
And that was the deepest point that I know in my life at the moment.
When I was out in the car, when I was able to walk again and I called my roommate,
I told him, but otherwise nobody.
And then something magical happened to us.
Then it felt like I had to change something.
It can't be.
Then I started to go out with him.
And I didn't drink a lot of alcohol.
I started drinking with water.
I didn't drink much for one day or the other.
I just knew that it wasn't a topic for me.
I didn't have this dependency on drugs.
I just listened to it and it was very easy.
And then, I don't know, from time to time,
I was with my parents in Urlaub, in Barcelona.
And then I went online.
Now we are in 2005.
I can say that with confidence.
In 2003, I lived with the diagnosis for two years.
My parents didn't have to.
I didn't share it with anyone.
I had to change something with me.
And as a teacher.
You decided that you had to change something.
And then it went on.
You weren't looking for it.
You were just listening to it.
It was easy.
It was so easy.
It was so clear.
It's okay to know.
I have more experience in my life.
It's easy to listen to.
It was easy.
2005.
2005.
I don't know what NLP is.
I just think it's super cute.
I want to have sex with you.
And a nice weekend in Barcelona.
And let me show you the city.
And then I got everything I wanted.
Check pot.
And more.
But not that you know yourself with the inner world.
I didn't know the inner world.
But when I did.
Philosophy.
There was no teacher shortage.
There was no offer.
So I was probably more interested.
Because as I know today, I'm open.
I'm like a sponge.
What the inner world is.
But I didn't know.
I just didn't know.
And you told me about NLP.
And about decisions.
How to make decisions.
How to formulate goals.
How to express oneself.
How to express yourself.
Different language models.
We were dancing at the club.
And I was like.
What is this?
It's so interesting.
And at the same time.
The story is so cute.
It's totally important in my life.
We met online.
And you sent me a photo.
And that was probably the first awareness.
That was probably the first conscious thought.
That I have in my life.
And you send me this photo.
I'm sitting at my parents' office.
At the PC.
And then I see this photo in your eyes.
And then I get the thought.
That's it.
And I was shocked.
From the beginning to the end.
And then I did a lot.
To be with you.
It was a bit of a fish.
It wasn't so easy to catch you.
Fortunately, you know yourself so well.
With the inner world.
So with the NLP.
I also did the practitioner.
I've already learned a lot about languages.
And about myself and my inner world.
And then Katie was there.
Very quickly also in life.
I think so often.
What a feeling.
How it came to me.
With the idea of the four questions.
That the thought of the problem.
That it's not me who's wrong.
That I have thoughts.
That I have the voice.
That I'm not this voice.
That it came into my life.
That's crazy.
Yes, it came then.
Yes.
2005.
2005.
2006.
Then I met Katie.
I only assisted.
Because I wanted to be with you again.
I wanted to be with you in the room.
Yes.
God, God, God.
I'm happy.
That I find it so sweet.
When I met Katie.
When you're not such a sweet person.
Yes.
And I remember that Katie was also sweet to you.
In this assistant role.
Yes, probably.
I wasn't just a fish.
Yes, I'm a fish.
And I had the plan back then.
To make this story for Katie.
He also added that I wasn't really available in Germany.
Then we had this time in the USA.
Certification programs and so on.
And in the end, this certification program.
Then we had this big trip with Katie.
Where we had a team of assistants.
And you were one of those assistants.
Yes.
That's all I did.
Not because of Katie, not because of the work.
But because I wanted to spend time with you.
Yes.
Yes.
And what came out of it is such an amazing gift.
I can get to know myself through the answers.
When did you ...
Yes, exactly in the direction.
When did your ...
What was the first work that really reached you?
When and where was that then?
Do you know that yet?
So ...
Yes, I ...
Yes, I have two questions.
I know the first worksheet.
That's rather a bit funny today.
I don't know if that's okay, if I should say that.
But the first ...
So, there's my Vienna.
And at Hertha and at Reinhardt.
It was this tour.
You were an assistant in the round.
Yes, assistant in the round.
And I lived at Hertha.
And I was in your assistant team.
Katie is somehow ...
as a thank you for the organization,
because Hertha organized it.
We had dinner there with her.
Then we were sitting in a round.
And I think Holler was there.
And Steven and Katie.
And then Nicola was there too.
I don't know anymore.
Nicola was there.
Nicola Uthmann.
And then the question comes.
Yes, we actually had dinner with Chris.
Someone probably thought I was Hertha's son.
Because I lived there.
So you were there.
Yes, I was there.
Of course, I was there on the table.
And then Katie thought I was Hertha's son.
And then you say, no, no, no, no.
We once had an affair.
Before that, you went to America.
I was lost there since 2005.
We met in Berlin.
And then you go to the beginning of 2006 or something.
You take all your tents off and go to California.
And you're just gone.
And then I see you again in Frankfurt.
I took off.
And then again in Vienna,
the second event took place.
And then I hear,
we once had an affair.
I didn't notice anything.
And then I sat down on the roof.
And then I looked at Vienna.
It was a nice place.
And I wrote my first worksheet.
That was my first one,
where I wrote my thoughts on paper.
And then my first real one.
So the moment when I changed my life.
Thank you very much,
because on this in your team,
Katie invited me to school.
And then I was a participant.
And you gave me three tips.
I'll just say that now.
You gave me the tip.
Do all the exercises.
Share everything.
And the third one.
Sit in front.
Sit far ahead, I think.
And I took it really seriously.
Because when I first met Katie in Hamburg in 2006,
I saw her on stage.
And I thought,
what's going on there?
The woman.
She has something.
I really felt how I resonated.
How I noticed.
There's something in there.
And then I was there until 2006,
2007, I went to school.
And until then I didn't do any work.
And it was, I think,
the third day in school.
I had a son.
A roommate from Israel.
A very dear man.
And he had yoga done in the morning on the terrace.
And then he fell.
And he had a bruise.
In the opposite of the hospital.
And then I accompanied him to the hospital.
And I took the school so seriously.
I followed all the invitations.
I was the day after that.
I took the school seriously.
I followed all the invitations.
I followed all the invitations.
I followed all the invitations.
I was the day before that.
Because your tip was to sit far forward.
I always stood up.
The doors went up to 8.
Or 8 or 30, I don't know.
But I stood up.
I was surprised that I could get the seat in front of me.
I always sat in front.
So, Katie's chair.
I sat in front of the first floor.
So, eye contact.
She knew me before.
It was important to me.
Now the dear man from Israel falls around.
And I go to the hospital with him.
Of course, I help him.
And then it will be 37.
Then it will be 7.45.
Then it will be 8 o'clock.
8 o'clock, 20.
In me it will be like this.
Shit, I want to do my school.
And I want to help him.
It was already...
It did something.
It took some process.
And then I stayed with him for a while.
The doctor said he would take care of it.
Then I ran over.
And...
I hope it's not too long.
The story.
Then I ran over.
And then it was the first...
the first buffer experience.
Where my place was gone, of course.
And then I sat in front of him.
Then someone comes.
I sit in front of him.
Then someone comes to me.
He grabs me very still in the morning.
He grabs me like this.
He hits me on the shoulder.
He hits me in the ear.
I always saw you sitting in front.
And that you were there.
I kept the space free.
I sat in front of you.
And that's how I felt.
It was such a shock.
That...
I thought I missed it.
It was such a shock.
That someone offered me this amazing place.
It was kind of a shock.
And then I sat in front of him.
It was such a shock that he offered me this place.
That I can sit there.
Because it was so important to me.
And I don't know what was going on.
Because I never had such an experience.
Katie started to meditate.
And then this sharing.
So, such parts, what you experienced.
And I suddenly couldn't understand.
I couldn't talk anymore.
So right.
I couldn't talk anymore.
There was some...
some crazy emotion.
Something happened to me.
What I had never experienced in my life.
And you have such an appointment as an assistant.
As an assistant team.
And that means, if something is there,
you can go to them.
And then I raise my hand and ask Katie.
No.
It's a process.
I go to my favorite staff assistant.
And I go there.
And then I go out with them.
And then I'm a little bit angry.
I go to the ground and so on.
I want to go back in.
I go back in.
And they're back in the room.
Where the seminar took place.
And then they say,
"Do you want to lie down?"
Not like that.
And then I lie down on this floor.
And I don't lie for a second.
My whole body starts.
How to sit.
And shake.
And I start.
It starts screaming out of me.
So right.
So somehow.
I've never experienced it in my whole life.
And it was about half an hour or so.
The only thing I still know.
Okay, Katie then.
It was in the room where it was all heard.
There were 300, 400 people in it.
There they know how she said.
It sounds like that when you believe your thoughts.
It sounds like that when you believe your thoughts.
And then.
It was like a wave of emotions.
That went through me.
And that was.
What then came after.
It was like the first moment of my new life.
Then I was like that for the first time in my life.
The silence.
The silence.
And then I was like that for the first time in my life.
And then I was like that for the first time in my life.
And then I was like that for the first time in my life.
The silence in my head.
Just no thoughts.
And then it maybe stopped for 20 minutes.
Today I know it was maybe a spiritual experience.
How you can do it.
That was my first spiritual experience in my life.
And then it was great.
To observe thoughts like that.
There was only one person.
He was called.
I will always be alone.
And another one.
And I wrote to you.
And I cried when I wrote to you.
And I wrote to you.
And there was this corner in the back.
Like such an island.
But like such a free island.
Where I could really think for the first time.
I realized.
Wow.
Wow.
And there comes another one.
He always wants to be alone.
And he brings emotions with him.
And then I have to cry.
When he is also visiting me.
And then I accompanied myself through a world.
Written.
And then there came such a place at the surroundings.
So you are really important in my whole journey.
So you are really important in my whole journey.
We were not together then.
We were not together then.
Then I am there.
And you have the surroundings.
I will always be alone.
Under the thought.
Under the thought.
Because I am not good and ugly and so on.
And then there was the surroundings.
I am not alone now.
What I saw.
When your two beautiful eyes.
That looked at me like that.
That was the week.
And then it was Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
That was the seminar.
Almost to the end.
And then we came together.
And that was my...
This moment.
Of this emotional something.
And then this silence in my head.
And in this silence.
There was everything.
And.
The colors were so beautiful.
And then there was such a beautiful park.
There was such a beautiful park.
At the seminar room.
This green of this lawn.
This kind of violet.
Of this dahlia.
So great.
That was the beginning.
That was my start.
With my self-knowledge.
Travel.
To get to know the four questions.
Wow.
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing.
We are in the year 2007.
Wow.
Summer 2007.
Fifteen years ago.
Fifteen years.
Fifteen years.
Time.
Since this experience.
Which places had the work for you today?
Yes, I would say.
That breathes through me.
That lives in me.
I just come out of.
Six days.
So.
Person retreat with a person.
Very exclusive.
And.
I do it more often now.
And that feels like.
There is no difference.
Whether I am here at home now.
And from the computer.
E-mails answer what you are doing.
Or other things.
For example in our association.
The work.
That is my life.
My heart sleeps.
In the rhythm.
Like the four questions.
And I still have enough stories.
And we have stress again and again.
And it doesn't mean that I am free.
Free like a bird.
But my heart is free.
And the four questions are just.
So easy.
From the beginning.
From the beginning.
I am so enthusiastic.
That it made so much sense.
That I can write my thoughts.
I just have to write them on paper.
And then I have to ask.
Is that true?
And so on.
And then I listen to how I react.
Because when I think about it.
Then I just have to do nothing.
The answer.
It makes it automatic in me.
It makes so much sense in my life.
That is my thing.
I didn't know that I was so open in the beginning.
You once told me that I was like a sponge.
With the NLB.
And I think Katie also noticed that.
That's why we understood each other so well from the beginning.
That it makes so much sense in my life.
That it makes so much sense in my life.
That it makes so much sense in my life.
That it makes so much sense in my life.
That it makes so much sense in my life.
That I just have to look at myself.
When there is a problem.
And I don't always do it.
But I just have to look at myself.
I have to look at myself to solve a problem.
I have to look at myself.
What is my inner voice?
And then to ask.
Is that true?
Can I really be sure that that is true?
How do I react when I think about it?
Who am I without that?
And then find these unpleasant objects that are always true.
That's the crazy thing in life.
It's just turned around.
And I think Katie says.
I don't believe anything.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for me.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for me.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
And then it's for you.
this development with the work, your life, your life with the work.
There are many stations there.
It's such a discovery journey.
So I'm just standing at the beginning, oh God, I'm standing at the beginning.
There is so much to discover about this truth that is in me
and with these thoughts that arise.
So I had the impression that I am obviously a sponge.
And then we are in Mallorca.
We have a seminar house.
And then a woman comes to a private coaching for a week.
You're not there, I'm doing that.
I think I'm open, no problem.
We are in 2008, maybe.
Of course, I'm open.
I know you have four questions.
It doesn't work for me, it can't.
Then the woman is there and I notice
that the body is not as open as I am.
The field is not so easy to go into this inner space like me.
But I miss the tools to help you to get into this room.
Because you are also open and also so curious.
But I miss the tools.
How can I open the room?
Like today, I am a guide.
I am a travel guide in these
inner, amazing, unknown worlds.
And I keep people pretty good to get there.
I couldn't do it at that time, I didn't know.
I don't know.
So it's Sunday in Munich, until Saturday.
Not there.
You have a stopover flight in Mallorca at the airport
and our seminar was in Mallorca.
Then I don't know how today.
I made the Dorado in the oven because I also cooked.
So I cook and make yoga.
I do everything in vitrines.
It's also for the appetizers.
I can also do it very well, I'm a super accelerator.
Then I just put the Dorado in the oven
and say, you can take it out in 20 minutes.
And I drove to the airport.
I have the feeling that my whole life depends on
that I see you in the break.
In your stopover, I think it was half an hour.
You then come from the security area up in Mallorca.
Up there, through this one middle door
where you never go out otherwise.
And I'm standing.
I have to laugh, because I don't cry that often.
I'm such an emotional guy.
But I was so crying there.
I saw you, I was lying in your arms.
I cried a lot, because I was so insecure,
because I didn't know what to do with him.
And I was like, okay, what are you doing?
I don't know, I don't know.
I have no idea.
I have no idea, I have no idea.
I even played a movie.
"The Peaceful War".
But I hoped that the message from the movie would reach you, my love.
So and then we somehow wandered.
I was like, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, I was so desperate.
And then I was asked about the station.
Because I noticed, okay, there is the certification program at Katie,
where you learn how to keep this room from the four questions for others.
Okay, Chris, you don't know anything, you have to start.
The lady had a nice seminar, I don't think it was a bad feedback.
It was my inner process, but that's what I learned there.
It was, it was, wow, it was so helpful.
And then I took care of myself there for six years.
And then my next thing was, I don't, you have to get me out of the oven.
Somehow I'm not so, I don't touch places or something.
I fly with you in life.
And then you had the moment where you could start the seminar.
And then I went in and we were in our team.
Kerstin, Kerstin Esser was with us in our team.
We went around like this.
I did what you did, Kerstin did what I did.
I noticed, oh wow, I can give him a seminar and it works.
That was 2014, I think.
And that was, that was good, 2014.
And then I had a process last year,
where I noticed I had a good friend who accompanied me with chemotherapy.
And then I noticed how good I was,
as a travel companion,
from the nightmare back in this, in this moment.
Can lead like that.
And that, that wasn't like that.
I still have such an uncertainty in me.
So this voice is still there.
I'm not good now and so, it's still there.
But then I noticed, wow, that's really good.
And at the time, the choice was for the teaching course in VTV,
because we're going to a new step.
That will now offer a teaching course.
And then the translation of certification programs,
which KT no longer offers, that you have already mentioned?
Yes, exactly.
And we do that in German-speaking areas with two.
And then I had the last day, where I was able to apply for the election,
then I got promoted and so on.
And that was a big thing for me.
And then it was also a demanding election and so on.
A big team that voted, with honest feedback and questions and answers.
So very honest to show.
And then that's why I got most votes.
That means the community of the teaching course has decided,
basically, to choose with such a large number of votes,
than in the future, in the first round or in the first several rounds,
to train the teaching coaches in the presence of the week.
And that has, that has, that's just crazy.
Because I imagine how, how, how I feel about this voice in there.
And what a, what a magnanimous view from the outside on me comes,
that I can be seen like this.
That makes me so, with so much honour and gratitude,
think, wow, if I could only see myself like this.
So that was a thing.
And then also now with the, I was, the work is my life.
That's why the VTV, my life, we founded 2009 at our sofa.
I was there from the beginning.
And now in 2022, there was a new standard of choice.
And so you went out as a long, long-term chairperson and,
and so with the choice.
And then in the last evening, I thought to myself,
okay, if you can't find anyone who wants to, then I'll just apply.
And then I also got 100% of the votes,
where I thought, wow, they're all so cute.
It's so, so lovely to be seen like this.
It's so, it's so, kind of like a difference,
how my inner voice sees me.
I think, so amazing, it's such a beautiful step.
And now it's your inner voice compared to before.
It's a little bit like, because you say it's the same,
they're the same thoughts and so on.
It's a difference.
Yes, it's, it's beautiful.
It's, tell me, now I'm curious,
how exactly do you think it is?
I mean, I hear that they're actually the same words.
Yes, yes, it's so insecure, it's still there.
So what, what do my, for example, seminars offer?
Or go out and just offer retreats.
I didn't do a lot this year, because I think,
oh, I don't know, so there's already so much uncertainty there.
But the whole thing with, with my body.
And that's what I was thinking about earlier.
I said, do you hear your ears?
Yes, it was, the ears don't come anymore.
But the ears, I haven't thought about it for about ten years.
So there's nothing more, the nose used to be water.
So, because Teresa, the dear schoolmate,
painted a, painted a caricature.
I'm with her in the room.
It's like, we're 14 and so, and we like to paint a caricature.
And then I say, oh, that's horrible, who should that be?
And she's like, oh, yeah, you.
So, I'm talking about you.
Oh, yeah, you, have you ever seen yourself from time to time?
So have you ever seen yourself from the side?
And I'm like, no.
And she had a triangle like that.
Then I see myself for the first time on the side with a zone.
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
Yes, and that's also, thank you.
Just not.
And that's love, that thing.
That's the description.
Now we just talked about it, how you think it would change.
Now it's more the form of how they arise.
Yes, exactly, that was like a vulgar, like a meteorite.
So, sorry, sorry, sorry.
And then she says something and then I change my nose with this one,
what she painted there.
But that wasn't clear to me.
I saw this hedgehog nose in the mirror from this paper.
But I thought it was the, that was a misunderstanding.
But it took years to solve it.
But you were very asked how it is today.
I wanted to know if there is any difference or if there is a difference.
How would you describe it?
And so I can just say, I love myself so much.
I like it so much.
I think I have a really good time with me.
I have a really good time with me.
Is everything okay?
I'm here in the morning at the, I had a yoga session before the session
and then in the meditation afterwards,
in this body,
there was just everything in order.
So, no eminence that is not somehow invited.
So it was just quiet.
And it is often so quiet and really in order.
Everything in order.
And I have a lot of phases of everything in order.
I still have my topics.
Yes, with us, where we always work with each other again.
It's nice, but with me.
A nice relationship, a nice relationship.
So, that with the outsider is no longer, it has no influence anymore.
If I remember correctly, I used to live in Berlin earlier.
I did not dare to bring down the trash,
if I didn't have the right socks and if I didn't have my hair styled.
So, if I didn't go to the trash, then it's not a joke.
So, I couldn't do that.
Or I couldn't, if I wanted to make a movie in China,
and in the past there was no Netflix and so on.
If I wanted to see something, I would go with him.
I couldn't go to China.
I couldn't sit alone in the restaurant and eat something.
It didn't work out.
I couldn't be alone in the bar and drink something.
It didn't work out, because I was so afraid of what you think of me.
So, you, other people.
I couldn't go to my bar at home.
So, and that was...
That was just...
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
It sounds like a huge difference to you.
Where exactly are you going?
Yes, ask four questions and sit down on the spot.
So, on the work?
Yes, absolutely, absolutely.
On the work?
On the work.
That's a routine.
I've been doing it for 16 years, 15, 16 years.
More or less regularly.
But not always for an entire hour or two,
but to observe yourself, listen to yourself,
perceive the inner voice.
Not believe everything.
Submit to questions.
And when the emotions come,
that's when sadness comes or insecurity.
Then if something hurts you emotionally,
then I know, I have to somehow believe in thoughts that aren't true.
Then I write them up.
And I do that all the time.
When something happens and now I have a lot of phases,
there's nothing, there's nothing to work,
and that's all right.
Then I laugh and have a good time.
Or I accompany other people.
Fortunately, I can do that.
It's a gift from other people who are open.
So, I'm more for the people who know the workshop,
who feel, hey, I want to go deep.
That's exactly the right thing for me.
Because with me you can travel deep into interesting ways.
I have the feeling, I already know myself much, much better than before.
And I'm standing like this from the beginning.
There are so wonderful places to discover.
And I'll stay on that.
So definitely love it.
Thank you.
Yes, I have one last question.
It's a series of conversations that I do here.
And with whom?
Yes, it's fun, it's fun.
It's so nice to hear.
And now you can even form the series.
I had some different suggestions.
And the community has already invited me to make suggestions.
And out of that, I have a list.
I sent them to you.
And with whom should I continue?
I know who.
I had such a wonderful, sweet mouse in the last course.
I'll just say it like this now.
Such an open, sweet mouse, the Lily Möhring.
Very nice.
Thank you.
Bye.
And with that, we have reached the end of today's episode,
which was also a very special one for me.
After six episodes, it's also time to say thank you
for the wonderful feedback that has reached us,
for the many subscribers and the top rating.
The first episode has been heard more than a thousand times
and that is far beyond our expectations.
If you want to experience the work yourself
and maybe don't know how and when and where,
tomorrow, 1st of March, the year-end winterwork city
begins in the Wiener Hausbergen.
And now we would like to pay attention to the summer camp
that takes place every year.
This year, from the 7th to the 13th of August,
and as usual in Oberlete, near Oldenburg.
Links in the show notes.
And of course we look forward to your new ratings,
subscribers and feedback
at
[email protected].
[Music]
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