#578 - Who Does This Guy Think He Is?

- Welcome back to the b- (upbeat music) - Da-ha! Welcome back to the bass video. (laughing) - Seriously, sorry. - Normally people yell at me for doing the over-the-top audio break. - I'm in character. I'm like, you know what I mean? I'm dressed as a pirate. I got my Christotry bracelets on. - Oh man, you are fully, it's not over right now. - It's not over! - I mean, I'm not kidding. - That was pretty good. - My patch, you're just Christotry. (laughing) Just like, take the iPad, just flip it up. Christotry, pirate. - Yeah. - That's all it is. I mean, some of the-- - Whoa, Christotry! (laughing) - It's an animal dude. - No, for fuck the animal. - No way he has those tattoos, dude. - Bro, he does, he has the black out tattoos. - Why? - I mean, it looks sick on him, honestly. He looks like a fucking vampire. - This one feels more piratey. I mean, listen, no disrespect to Christotry. I mean, now that I've seen that he's shredded. - Bro, beat the fucker. - I know. - Before I saw that, he was catching it. So thank you for pulling up the picture first. - Whoa, look at this guy. - How old is this, fucker? - He's gotta be in his late 40s, at least. - Yeah, dude. I mean, you're just on images. - 46? - 46, and he looks like that? - Fuck you, Christotry. - That's crazy. - You have, you're a platinum-selling artist, right? He's probably that successful, right? - Bro. - See, look up his net worth, so I could feel better than I know you know me. - Yeah, but (laughing) - Look at Christotry's net worth. - Look it up, look it up. - Eight million dollars. - Christotry. - No, Christotry should be dressing up as José de Gatto. - First of all, I'm a pirate, I'm not Christotry. - Again. - But you are just a single eye patch away. - What's another Christotry song? He's got banger. - He's got a lot of them. - Top 50. - Over you, man. - I know over you. - Which one has that go? - Does it also sound like it's not over? - It's different, but I was just listening to the song the other day, and I'm like, this is such a banger. - Not over? - Over you. - Is that it? - No. - Wait, which one do you want? - Look up, look up a list of the Christotry song. - No, it's not over, it's not over, it's not over. (laughing) - Well, I never started running. I never started coming, I should have started running long, long time. - Never started coming, I should have started running. ♪ Don't know how to go ♪ - Damn, this is. - ♪ Don't know how to ♪ ♪ More than you ♪ ♪ More than you know ♪ - Yeah, that one's the best one. - Yeah, that's a banger, bro. - Is it? - He's got one called Life After You, I love that song. - I mean, you could sing all of them, and it could sound like one song, because all the Christotry songs I've heard of sound like they are the same song. - Yeah, but it's. - And again, no disrespect now that I've seen that he is abs. But, I just. - You're saying if he wasn't abbed up, then you would be more disrespectful? - A hundred percent, dude. - A hundred percent? - Your respect is based on. - If they could fuck me up, right? - Yes, a hundred percent. - That's crazy. - One million percent. And I understand, do you need to be careful, because we've seen, not that I've ever been, or would be disrespectful to Rhett and Link, but not only do I believe they're both shredded, they're also both six foot 50. - Yeah, if I want to slap Rhett in the face, I gotta get on a chair. - Yeah, dude. - You need to work your way through the beautiful beard and mane that he has on his head to find, and you wouldn't want to, because he's got a sweet eyes. They're both very sweet guys. - They have very. I think this is why they've been lasting so long on the internet. - Sweet. - They have very normal people eyes. Like, you look in their eyes and you're like, "I feel like that's a normal person." - And not like an immigrant robot. - Who does eyes do you look into? And you're like, "This is Mr. Beast." - That's a fair answer, careful. - Oh, careful, this is Mr. Beast. I don't know, come at ya. - Can he fuck me up? - Look up the tail of the tape on Mr. Beast. - No, Mr. Beast is tall though. - Is he? - All right, I'm not gonna be disrespectful to Mr. Beast until I see his height. - Six, three. - I respect Mr. Beast. (laughing) - Respect Jimmy so much. And he is a, and he is only. - Now bro, be disrespectful and then challenge him to a boxing match. Now we're gonna make some money off this thing. - Yes. - I'll promote it. - I'll, uh. - Yeah, you're out. (laughing) - I don't know, I mean, he's hanging out with like LeBron and, yeah, two other people that could definitely beat the brakes off me in Logan Paul and KSI. So, I mean, what is he gonna do? He's not gonna, like, he's not gonna jump you in all these things. - He's gonna beat me and be like for every punch I land and every bone I break, I'm donating a million dollars to like a children's fund or something. - Well, he better get that checkbook out because I'm also suing him for double each punch. - Really? - Yeah, especially if I get jumped by Mr. Beast KSI on Logan Paul. Bro, I'm dying to be jumped by you three times. - Yeah, absolutely. - I'm begging to be jumped. Please jump me. - I don't know, because like. - I'm taking Logan Paul's fucking Pokemon cards and the rhinoceros head or whatever. - I mean, I'll be, I'll be, first of all, I'll be writing books with James Patterson and I'll be a co-owner of Feastables by the time I'm done with that loss. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Which by the way, we'll-- - Come in. We also have an acknowledge the elephant in the room. You're a pirate, AKA, or almost Chris Dauchery. - I'm, I'm just a hot dog with mustard, which is the scariest thing I could possibly be for Halloween. - Because-- - You also are matching the hot dog completely by mistake. - That's insane. - Completely by accident. You sweat her and the hat and everything. - Let me ask you a question, you see the color of that hot dog, right? - Yeah. - You see, she's dark. I've never had a hot dog that color. - I feel like it would be like, it looks like it would be like organic. - Oh, I'd be so into it, dude. - You're not saying it would be snappy. It's like, if I went to go bite your head off right now, it would be snappy. - This, like, a hot dog that color is going to be like an apple gate farm, like a healthier, packaged hot dog, where it's just like, hey, you're still a hot dog. You know, you're a hot dog with mascara on. - Yeah. - We just, just be a hot dog, babe. - Would you say apple-hoo? - Is that what it's called, the apple gate farm? - What's that? - Or apple, there's like a healthy, like, in Whole Foods. They have, like, healthier hot dogs, but they're just, they're hot dogs. Do you go to Whole Foods every now and then, because if our grocery shopping was done, like, exclusively at Whole Foods, I would need to mortgage my house a second time, yeah. There's no fucking way. I love that place, and they have good quality stuff. It's pricey. - I don't, I don't do it. I don't really go. - I think they have good stuff. Like, I've never had, like, I've never had anything from them and just be like, that sucked. I mean, sometimes, I've been like twice in my life to a Whole Foods. I love a supermarket. - I do, yeah. - I love a supermarket. - I don't. - I just, I also just like a regular market. I'm not good at grocery shopping. - 'Cause like, like, Nicole has taken that over because, you know, just not, you know, I'm just not good, because I can't put meals together in my head. - Okay. - Like, my whole brain, like, that part of my brain, is for video. Like, I can, like, edit a video as we're shooting it, but I can't go to the grocery store and understand what we're, like, the food or whatever. When I would go grocery shopping, I would just come back with snacks. - Yeah, I'm fine. - You are a snacker. - I am a snacker. - You are very, like, you're motivated by, like, eating a little here, eating a little there, eating a little here. Like, I feel like if you still lived alone, you would just eat out most of the time. - Yeah. - Or. - How'd he pasta? - Yeah, just have, like, you're all new, raw garbanzo bean noodles. - That sounds fantastic. Those are okay. - Yeah, you know what's fucking crazy, a butter bean? - I fucking love a butter bean. - Yeah, when butter. - Underrated bean. - They've only, I think the only time I've had them is when they come with octopus on top, and there's just so much sauce everywhere. - Bro, there was a fucking bar near me that used to do this dish, where it was like, (sighs) I think it was a lamb. It was like a lamb something. - I'm in a bar making lamb. - They had, like, a legitimate, like, kitchen in this place. Like, it was like a low-key place. I was so pissed when I shut down. - So you call it a barred grill. - But when you walk in, you're like, this is a bar. All right. But there was like a few tables, but their kitchen was maggot, but they would have butter beans as the base, and then put, like, lamb on top. Bro, it was fucking. Sucking down these fucking beans, like, crazy. They're delicious. - Yeah, yeah. - I love a big bean. Big beans I'm fine with, I really like when they turn it into, like, kind of, like, a puree, and it goes under something. - Yeah. - What did you say, a bush? - A mush. - Yeah. - I got a bush. - I wouldn't mind either of those. - A little bit of a bush. - Not how you do that. I just had to. There was something caught in my throat. I did it this way. Shut up. He's screaming into the mic, like, he's going at crazy. - So, I patch his writing up a little bit. - I'll be honest with you. My sight is so weird right now, but. - I just, I love. I now that I think about beans and grains, there's not many I don't like. - There's gotta be a point. - Yo, you know what? - Oh, fucking good. And Becca makes the fuck out of. - Talk to me. - Faro. - Like, she makes, like, a Faro salad and cooks it a little out of dente, so it's a little chewy. - I'm thinking Pokemon right now. What are we talking about? - You're talking Fero. - I'm thinking Egypt. - You're thinking, so Faro, F-A-R-O? I suppose not right? It's like, it almost looks like a fatter brown rice, and it's kind of a little gummier. - Okay. - And when cooked, she does, like, a Faro salad with like red onion, tomatoes, oil, vinegar, and feta, and dude, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll grab your sister and say, bring me to the family reunion. - It's crazy. - Can we get a zoom in on the Faro? Because I'm not really sure what this is. - What's the, what's the Greek shit? It's like a Greek orzo? - Yeah. Orzo's just pasta. - Is it? I thought that shit was rice. I think orzo is just pasta. That's Faro, baby. Oh, you know what this looks like? like honey smacks. - You know, honey smacks are good. - It looks like chopped up walnuts. - Now bro, it looks like honey smacks. - Yes, it does look like honey smacks. - So honey smacks sucks. - Honey smacks is good brother. - But dude, I love a grocery store because we don't grocery shop often anymore. We, I'll tell you right now, I will tell you right now. - It's a great image. - If they were to start allowing people to transition like what they pay into an app into like legitimate shareable equity, we would be part owner and instantly part. - Majority stakeholders. - Oh my god. But I love going through and just snaking every aisle and just being like, oh you know we actually do need that. - It is fun to pop into a supermarket every so often and be like, oh there's new stuff. - I just like, I am very, I am the target customer at a supermarket where I'll be like, that's on the end cap and it looks really nice. - What's that word you used? - End cap, what's that? - So like you go down an aisle and there are on the front of the aisle, there's like a display. - Yeah. - That's the end cap. That's supposed to be like the flashy sales. Like that's like big space in the. - The big mamas. - In the, you know, retail world. - In the one we used to go to as children, they always had end times there. Do you remember at wall bounds? - Mm. - I don't. - I remember. - What's it called? - I know it's when you reference it. - You would shop there right? - Best yet in wall bounds. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You used to have a fucking, just a giant end to men's and I'm like, you know. - You put the coffee case. - That is like highly sought after space. - Oh yeah. - Because not only do like people see it as they walk the main like, not the main aisles. It's called the racetrack in a lot of stores. But like, you go to supermarkets. - Oh, a lot. - I worked. - I worked. - Target. - Oh yeah, that's not a super market. - It's big box retail, which like I imagine there are some parallels between that. - Yeah, like if, I mean it makes sense. If you're walking, if something's hidden in the middle of the aisle, or if it's at the front, like you see more of the front. No, I get it makes sense. All right, target guy, I get it. - Bro, walk to a target. - There is a, and a continuous road around the whole store. - Yeah. - And like, there will be branching paths and stuff like that. But like, all of that shit is like highly researched and like fucking, they do their little like analytics thing to figure out what goes where. - You worked, I know you did like the criminal justice thing and then you worked on like a team in target. During that time, where any of you guys able to figure out why in big box retail, it makes people go into the bathrooms and shit on the ground. Because I don't know what the fuck it is. Every time you go into a target, try to go to the bathroom, there's like a shit on the ground. - I mean, also when I was in the airport, coming back from wherever the fuck we were, I walked into one of the stores, there was a poop on the floor in an airport. - I used to be very critical of shit on the ground, but now I'm more-- - You get poop on the ground? - I'm more like, I saw it. I was like, that person is having the worst day they've had. - Well, yes, in a while. - Empathy. - Empathy. - But how could you possibly miss? - It's good. - I don't think it's about missing. It's just about availability and urgency. - But are you, but how is that? I'm like, I get, I listen, I totally understand, not making it and it falls. - Yeah, you were kicking around one like you were Ronaldinho was one time, it was one time, I was 14. - I said, cooking around one. - Yeah, that's true. - Um, what, what? I put my pants once and I was running home and then it like fell down my pants and then I ended up like kicking it 'cause it landed on my shoe. I threw my shoes out. We're not talking about me. - Wait, what about the pants? - Which probably had, oh, the pants, yeah, everything was garbage. - Gotcha. - Yeah, everything was garbage. I will say it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It felt a lot worse than it was besides the point. - I guess you had a more fibrous diet. There are people that are not as lucky as you, Joe. I mean, I was like 13 years old. I, you know, everything, it was like slushies and like fucking, you know, whatever, at that point. - Open yourself, a log feels weirder. - It was, it wasn't a log. I don't mean to get into details here, but it was, you know, there was, there was a little. - It was a, it was a wintery mix, as they say, in the meteorology, like there was like, it was half sleet, half slushy. - It was slushy, it was slushy. - So how did it get, how did you kick it? So like when you kicked it, was it like when Robocop runs over that guy with a car and it exploded on the windshield? It more was going down my pant, and then I was in the motion of running, and it's like, it just, you know, so it's not like, it's not like you dropped, no, something, and then punted it like you were Todd Sauer, bro. - No, no, I didn't even have time to do something like that. - Gotcha. - It just landed in a way that when I was running, it was launched, and I was like, this is the most disgusting thing ever. - Oh man, so you were just a walking biohazard on the way home. I thought it was just a little more of like a clean, now I understand throwing out the pants and the shoes. - I, and, well the shoes that I also had on the side, it was like, they had these circle like indents, so it was kind of like shoes, I don't, I don't know. - I had one pair of shoes back then. - So you couldn't get it out cleaning. - Yeah, yeah, I was like, this is garbage. Was it like that like spongy material that we had? - Yeah, I know, I know what you're referencing. Everyone had those. - You know, it's just, you know, it was garbage. - I mean, you know, garbage, when you kicked garbage, you threw them in the garbage, it was a garbage day for you, but that's the point that I'm making is like, you probably, when that happened, felt the lowest that you had felt at that point in time, since you got broken up with by Joe, Joe, Joe. - First of all, I did not get broken up with her. She never, she didn't like me and that made me cry. - Okay, you got broken up by her. - I did, but like, you know what I mean? Like at that point in time, that was probably the worst day you had in a while. Yes, you might have gotten some, you might have gotten some mileage out of the fact that it happened, but like internally you hurt, and you were the sad clown. - Yeah, I was for sure. Also, I was very upset with Davino, 'cause it was his fault. He lives across the street and he's like, "Ah, easy person, easy person to blame." - Yeah, like what the fuck on the line here? - Most of the bad things that happened in my life, I blame on him and I call him and I let him know that too. - There was an era where we would find bags of dog poop on the ground and throw them at each other. - So you're like a disgusting person, I think. - Yeah, honestly. - I think the more strange, the more that we talk about things and you contribute, it just solidifies that you're an absolute filth monster. - Also, I'm going to assume that there was liquor involved in some way, because usually your story's ended. - Or black coffee. - No, we were younger, we were younger, so we just threw them at each other, but then one time a bag exploded on the person throwing it, so friendly fire. And then a-- - That's just so we're clear, if that happens, that's just fire. That's not for this, if we had each other enemies. - Like a self-fire and then it got on him in a small bed and I gagged and I threw up. And then we stopped doing it. - Well, nothing new there, maybe. - Now we've brought us the line, the bag exploded. - And then we stopped doing it, yeah. - Yeah, we did not, I could say with confidence, we did not bag, we did not throw poop at each other. Although there was one person that we knew, we've told the story a couple of times, for any new listeners, which you got to treat every episode, there's at least one new listener, there was someone that we knew that would, we would party at this one house and they pooped in a bag, tied it up, threw it across the room and we found it months later and it was white. - Months. - It was a brother, yeah. - Brother. Like before the term trap house existed, we knew what it was and it was that place. - The trap house been around for a while. - We don't know, we have to be fair. - That's okay. - Can we find the earliest use of the term trap house? - What are you gonna do with that info? - Determine if we might have been the ones to have coined it. - Oh, I mean, we definitely didn't coin anything. - I mean, we might not have coined it, but we might have been, we might have been like, we know trap houses before trap houses. (laughing) - Early use use. - 1991, so. - Definitely not, yeah. - Why is it a trap? Because, you know, they use it to like trap entrapment, like criminals or like stings and stuff like that. - You know, you don't get it. - You got Fettywap over here, take it easy. - First of all, you're cosplaying Fettywap right now. - That is something that I don't know the word for, but it offenses. - I know, yeah. And honestly, he's out of jail and/or prison now. He'll come get you. - And he's kinda yoked. - Ed, he is. - So careful, I'm not gonna talk shit about him 'cause I haven't seen his height, which we might figure out with you, Google it. - Also from Jersey, if I'm not mistaken. - Yeah, he like, Fettywap height. - Six one. - Oh, I can say a bad thing, but I'm not gonna because he'll fuck me up. - Yeah. - Um, he like recently did a show in Jersey and they had to like shut down the town because it was like crazy. - Fettywap. - Yeah, but. - 1738. - Not a good. - You can't be dressed like Chris Dottry and do a Fettywap in Prussia. - It's fair. - I'm a pirate, fellas. - Are you a pirate? - Not really. - I am a hot dog. I feel like this because of the basement yard live shows. - We've seen a lot of that. - This costume has probably gone triple platinum on Amazon, which I will say this. - Yeah. - You can measure the success of the shows in many ways. If we wanna start pitching out the basement yard for like brand integration and stuff like that, we have helped push hot dog costumes. - Definitely, I'd uptick in that. - And definitely orange rotary phones. - Well, yeah, but not only because of us, but definitely because of other people. - We're buying one for every single show now. - Yeah, we're probably the only ones doing that. - Me and Greg were like, when we were like going, "Oh, we should get the phone," or whatever, then we're like finding links to phones. And I was like, "There has to be multiple "'cause what if one of these just run out?" 'Cause they were not gonna have 'em. - True. - And already, there's been, they're a little different. - Yeah. - Yeah, the last one that was an actual- - That was a good one. That was a good one. - So the first one we went to, it was such a fake phone 'cause it was like, it had the rotary wheel on it, but it was just buttons. The last one had the clicking and everything, and it was, I love it. - And it was one of these phones, where like it holds the phone up like this, and you kinda like, you like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, it's not like it sits on the, whatever the fucking wheel thing. - That one had a button. The first one, the fake one had a button. So it was like, this is fake. That one has like, when you put it down, it like shut off because like, the whole mechanism fell. - Have you ever used one of these? - No, no. - I've never used one of those. I want one of the fucking used one. - You would have seen one at the Titanic Museum when you were in Ireland, maybe. 'Cause they loved those, dude. - Yeah, 'cause you get on the horn and you're just like, but here's the thing, let me ask you a question. Yep, if you're using one of those phones, and you get angry and you wanna hang up on someone, how do you do it? - Do you hang up? - Oh, 'cause you hold something like this and then it's this, right? - I think there was the, like, at home version was like a handheld thing, I heard. - Hey, like, hold this and then, but there's another piece that like is so you could hear them. - Yeah, so like, if you're, let's say, Joey in 1922, and you have that phone. - Yeah. - And someone calls you and there's like, the depression is saddening. Dumb your socks and barrels. - Sure. - And you get angry. Do you hang up the talkie part or the ear part? - You know, I don't even know how those hang up. I don't even know how to answer. Look up those old timey phones right now. - I don't even know how to hang those things up. Can you hang up? - I walk, yes. - What do you mean, can you? - I don't know. - Oh. Yeah, what the fuck, how do you hang that up? How do you hang this up? - There's gotta be another, like, that's not the at-home one. The ones I saw were like, on the wall. - On the wall? - I think it's cool to have like a two-piece bikini phone like that. I think that's cool. - This is what is made, I am all on board. Like, I don't believe that as a person, I am going to go the way of the radio and my mentality. I firmly believe in change and things updating and new designs, except for with my music. But, phones have gotten worse because it has taken all of the emotion out of hanging up. - I'm down with like, landlines. Like, I think that's cool. - You're gonna have one? - Oh, don't let me know that 'cause if I get that number, I'm fucking, Frank Frank is coming out. - Well, you ruined that. Forget it. - You ruined it. - What? - You ruined it. - You ruined it. (laughs) - But you know when you're like, you know, even, 'cause I think about, back in the day, where like, you know, like a girl being on a phone, she's like, "Play this." - Yeah, the fucking world it, maybe on those party lines. - I would do that shit too, kind of, I'm not gonna lie. - I mean, like, there was something as people that had, 'cause I almost imagine that you never had a landline in your house, or if you had one, you were not old enough to remember it. - I had a home phone. - That's the landline. - Was it ever attached, or was it always like? - No, it was just like, damn. - Damn, dude, we're like right on the cuss. - We are, we're right there. - It's so cool. I'm so glad that we were able to, - But like, I think my grandma had that. - My guy, doing this, and just fucking, it must have felt so good for my parents arguing with each other. - Honestly, like, the landlines that are just a phone, that like-- - That shit is whack. - I mean, I don't think it's whack, because you could, 'cause here's what you could do. - I'm trying to have wireless, wireless is whack. - Wireless isn't whack, 'cause you could still hang it back up. - Yeah, but you gotta put it up. - A lot of those old wireless ones went into the wall, like the movie "Scream." - Yeah. - Oh, you're talking about the big fuck. - The brolic bitch. - Oh, yeah, the ones that look like a fucking like. - It looked like a detonator. It was like the size of the fucking I Heart award. Like, yeah, yeah, that's basically what it was. - Yeah. But like, that shit, like, now-- - Damn, that shit is heavy. - Like, angrily hanging up, it's a lost art form. Now you do this. - Well, now it's like, now it's more passive aggressive, 'cause like, no one talks on the phone, so it's more of like texting, and it's like, I'm just not gonna answer. - I hate it. - It's like, this isn't aggressive. - I hate that form of like written communication, like texting or email. I would much prefer a phone call, and I just, I feel like it is a lost art to just fucking absolutely slam your phone. - Yeah. - Like, even like, flip phones. Like, I know we're kind of coming back to that now, where like the new iPhone Duo is a flip phone, ish. - It's like, but if I see someone holding a fucking iPad to their ear, and then they go like this to hang up, I'm gonna say they look dumber than-- - Yeah. - It's gonna flip phone. Like, Apple trying to make like the new iPhone to be a flip phone, but it's like really a screen that flips or whatever. It's really like, you know, this is like, someone like me wearing car heart. You're like, you don't work. - You don't work. - I mean, why are you wearing that? You're not working the feels. - It's just like, you're not the thing. - And you're cosplaying the thing to remind people of the thing that was better than your thing. - Yeah, like I'm like pretending here, you know? Like, you're not a flip phone. - It is. It's like the people, it's like car heart used to be like legit workers clothing. And now it's like, high fashion. - It's just like, yeah, it's like ironic. - Yeah, you see one of the guys from like fucking, I don't know what's like a super modeling guy or something. Like a model, like Rob from The Traders. It's like modeling a car heart cargo pant. And it's just like, this is the opposite of what it's supposed to do. - Yeah, like you got car heart pants, car heart jacket, and you're working out of a really nice coffee shop. - I've, listen, I've done it. I'm telling you, as the guy, this is made up. - Listen to Chris Dottrie. - Yeah, listen to me. - Listen to me. ♪ All that I'm after is a laughful laughter ♪ ♪ As long as I'm leaving with you ♪ - Yeah. - I don't know. - This is, I'm sure you're gonna keep going. - I don't have any more. - This is an episode for The Dottrieverse. The Dottress. - We're all, we're all daughters. - We're all daughters. - We're all daughters today. - Yeah. - I get the conversation about the car heart thing, and maybe, I know. - Cars are probably a bad example, you know. - I know this doesn't apply, but it is kind of funny, like, cranky wearing a yanky hat during that. And it's like, you know, play for the yankies. - Is that the same thing? - No. - It was always made to be Fandom apparel. - Is that, yeah, it's for fans. - It's a car heart service. - Yes, car heart, and I don't know the history of car heart. - I'll say, if you showed up to a baseball game, and I don't like when people do this. - But unless you're a children, if you show up to a baseball game in the pool. - In the pants? - Or like a pants. - You're in the pants? - Yeah, by the way, we're wearing baseball pants. - I will say this, and not even that intense, if you show up to, like, a park down the street, and you're wearing, like, a full Lakers get up, and it's LeBron, like, that's where it's crazy. - I don't like it. - I agree. - Here's the thing. I have no issue with car heart. I don't know if, well, like anything about them realistically, we're just using an opportunity to talk about shit. Look up how tall car heart is. But if they're gonna be, like, high fashion now, they need to, like, give back to the workforce, and just be, like, they get, you know, if you could provide, like, a union number, a union ID, you get, like, 30% of all car heart merchandise. - I mean, car heart's original headquarters was two stories high. - That's big, Frank. - Two stories, brother? - It's a building. - My house is bigger than that. - Your house is three stories? - No. (laughing) - Not a, but, like, - That was the original headquarters. They could have upgraded. - Yeah, they probably have. They're probably, they're probably, like, four, - I don't know where they are. - They're probably four floors at the top of a building in, like, Missouri. - Yeah. - I'm not looking at them. (laughing) - Yeah, I, you know, I'm just saying, for anyone out there who wears car heart, then you don't swing a hammer. Let's just be aware. I don't swing a hammer. - I mean, I like swinging a hammer. - You don't even have a hammer. - I have a hammer. - You bear, you're lucky. - I have a hammer. - You're lucky if you have a hammer. - I definitely have a hammer. I have a hammer. - I'm gonna tell you. - I have nails and screws. - What's the size of your hammer? This, that's not a hammer. - No, it's a hammer, buddy. - And it's got a, it's got a fucking, what's it called on it? Gryppi. - Yeah, like a grip. - So how would you, so how do you grip it? - No. - How am I supposed to grip it? - People that grip a hammer up here have never used a hammer. - No, I mean, a hammer. - Hammers are down here. Dude, you wanna know something so fucking cool? By the way, I never knew that there were different types of hammers. I thought a hammers, sledge. No, no, no, no, like hammers. Like the ones with the hammer. Yeah, but like there's different sizes. There's different ways, shapes of the hammer. Dude, of the face, may I be struck dead today if I'm lying about this? I'm not, I'm gonna live a long life. When I worked construction, there were, because like you, there are different trades on the site. You have your carpenters, you have your lathurs, taper, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. There was a carpenter who was so skilled with a hammer. He would, no exaggeration, take one of his hammers and he could throw it on the ground. It would hit on the back, like the teeth on the back and it would come back up toward him. And I'm not saying like he did it like the whole time, but he was able, like you know how like they say, like really skilled football players, 'cause like they could dribble a football. So he was, he was a boomerang in a fucking hammer off the ground. No, like literally he would throw it like that and it would pop back up and he would catch it. Close his name. He didn't have a name. I don't know, he worked for another trade. I didn't know him that well, but I remember seeing it. I was like, this is the crew. the craziest thing I've ever seen. - That guy deserves car heart. He deserves car heart. - Yeah, not me and my decaf ice americano. - Exactly, man. - Yeah, with your luxury watches. - Yeah, like if I wear car heart pants and then Pokemon shoes, I deserve to get hit in the back of the head with a hammer. - But the fit might go crazy for the gram. - We do have some sponsors for today. The first one being how you're doing Squarespace, okay? Squarespace is a platform that's going to help you build your website, whether you do retail, you have an online store selling like any sort of e-commerce, or you make content or anything. You have a small business or a big business. Squarespace is going to help you out. You need a professional looking website. When people go to your website, this is their first impression of you. They want to know this is a professional thing. This is a professional person. And, you know, I like this brand now. So it's important to have a professional looking website and Squarespace makes it very easy because they have a bunch of templates. So you go through pages of these templates, you can just click on it, it'll populate the website, you switch out the text and whatnot. You put all your stuff on there. And you can have a great looking website in an afternoon if you're really dedicated to it. Very short amount of time in the past, you would have to have, you know, some coder or whatever, and it would cost all this money in order to do this. But Squarespace makes it very easy. They also have a lot of tools. They're going to help you optimize your traffic. They're also going to give you a bunch of data so that you can, you know, just optimize your experience having a website owning a business. But they make it very easy. And, you know, we've used it a bunch here, like pretty much all of the landing pages we've ever created, were created with Squarespace. So you can head to squarespace.com/basement and you will save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain using that code basement. So again, go to squarespace.com/basement and you'll save that 10% off with your first purchase of a website or a domain, okay? Also, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. So if you want it to get into the world of therapy, I believe that you should. I think that therapy is a benefit to everyone, no matter if you've gone through something traumatic or not, a lot of people think that like, oh, that's for people that have been through like horrible things. But it's really not that type of thing. I've been doing it every single week for the last, like I don't even know, a very long time, eight years or something. And it's great. I find it very helpful. It organizes your thoughts. It just makes me feel more relaxed. It's just great. So for anyone out there that wants to get into therapy, you can do so with BetterHelp. They have an onboarding process that makes it very easy to connect with these licensed therapists and also makes it very easy to switch from therapists to therapists. 'Cause that's an important part. You need someone that you vibe with. You can't really open up to someone that you're like, I don't know that they really get what I'm doing here. So that's an important part. But yeah, if you've been wanting to start therapy, BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks. And eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. If you don't have insurance or don't live in the United States, you can still get 10% off of your first month. You can visit betterhelp.com/basementyard to explore your payment options. That is betterhelp.com/basementyard. Okay, BetterHelpSwells. B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com/basementyard today. All right, go check it out. Also, lastly, we got angry orchard right here on the table, ladies and gentlemen, it's Halloween. And they have their Halloween line. I mean, this one is a blood orange angry orchard with the sexy tree, just a sexy tree. Sexy tree is still there. I have headless pumpkin. Ooh, what do you got over there? Mystery caller. Oh, he's got a mystery caller over there. But the blood orange, delicious. This is delicious, okay. This is angry orchard. It is a, what's it called? A cider. It is a hard cider. Oh, this is 5% alcohol in here. Gluten-free. This is a lovin' apple. Who does a lovin' apple? To act! At that. But these are delicious. And this is their Halloween pack. So it has blood orange. It has the mystery flavor. It has the headless pumpkin. And there's another one that I believe is like caramel apple, something like that. Delicious, though. But yeah, angry orchard, it's great. Like I said, it's a cider. It's gluten-free. It tastes really good. And you can go get it pretty much anywhere. If you go to your local bar or you go to the supermarket and you see angry orchard, especially the Halloween pack, be festive. All right, ladies and gentlemen, don't get angry. Get orchard this Halloween. Visit angryorcer.com and use the cider locator to find the thriller pack near you. All right? So that is angryorcer.com. Go get yourself, go get your paws on one of these. All right, ladies and gentlemen. You know what else is thrilling? Patreon, baby. Patreon.com/bacemanide. Ooh, that is spooky. [laughs] I thought that was really good. I thought that was not bad, right? Yeah, you got me. I did get you. You were a little creeped out. Oh. Well, that's the what I was going for. It was going to get you or not. I was giving you a compliment. Thank you. I appreciate it. Can I compliment you? No. Okay. Patreon.com/bacemanyard. That's where you can continue to support us. The subscription service that we use that really helps us kind of keep things going over here. So why don't you go check it out? There's different tiers. And each of those tiers are going to give you different things. Okay, that first here will give you these weekly episodes, one whole week in advance. And that next tier you'll get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So you start the week with the new episode of the base of the year and your week with the new episode of the base of the year. So you really only have to wait four days for new episodes. It's kind of beautiful. It's kind of nice. And listen up. You guys have been so unbelievably supportive over 53,000 of you. What? Are you nuts? We're number two, which help us get to number one because you know, that's our only help us. So go check it out at patreon.com/bacemanyard and you know, we are obviously recording this in time for Halloween. But a lot of people consider that once Halloween is done, it's the unofficial start to the holiday season. Personally, I like to wait until after Thanksgiving. But you know what? You do. You. And if you're looking to get the base of the yard fan in your life, something as a gift for the holiday season, a subscription to the Patreon might be the thing. So go check it out at patreon.com/bacemanyard. Thank you guys for the love and support. We promise we are going to continue to try to give you more of what you like, which according to you is us. So again, patreon.com/bacemanyard and if you want to save yourself some extra bucks while you're doing it, type it into a web browser, beep, beep, beep, beep, and then do it that way. So now, another website, since I got all the websites, you know, well, I got them all. I got them all in my back pocket. Thebasemanyard.com. Go on thebasemanyard.com and take a look at the website. We're doing live shows right now. And if there's an upcoming show that you maybe want to try to come to or you know, if there's it a trip that you want to make and maybe you want to go to a city that we're doing and there's some tickets available, it would be a really good time. So go check it out at thebasemanyard.com. And if you're doing, if you're planning on coming to any of the live shows, you already have tickets or something like that, go to thebasemanyard.com/submit. If you've been to a previous show, we did cards during our first couple of tours where we talked about crazy stories with people. But what we're doing now, if you go to thebasemanyard.com/submit, you can put in, there's a, what show you are attending tab and you can let us know what show you're coming to, upload a photo, a physical representation of some crazy story, something that maybe we will pick, maybe we will talk to you about you with you, they have been so, so much fun and we want to keep it going. So go check that out at thebasemanyard.com/submit. Last, federal, certainly, no list, sannagatostudios.com. We've dropped a bunch of new merch as well as some holiday merch that will be coming out if it's not already out, but you can get it all of that at sannagatostudios.com. There's some really awesome designs up there. We're really excited for you guys to get your hands on that because it's really, really fun, really cool. And also, man, just talk a little shit, really good quality, like cloth and material and stuff like that. So you won't be able to find out what I'm talking about unless you go check it out. So go to sannagatostudios.com. So we've got patreon.com/submit. Thebasemanyard.com and also thebasemanyard.com/submit as well as sannagatostudios.com. Thank you. We love you. We appreciate you. Chris Dottry. Trolley gummi worms. Message me. Oh, fuck off. Yeah. Shut the fuck doors. I will say, I will say before you get into that, having a podcast, unbelievable. When you, when you reach a certain, let me just, let me knock that door, talk that shit baby. When you reach a certain, like, you guys are so supportive, but when you've like reached a certain level with the podcast, it's like, if you say something and now people are just reaching out. Dude. We're just getting fucking like spoiled now. Lunchables. Fruit roll up. Lunchable. Gushers. What the fuck are you talking about? I haven't got any of that. Oh, well. You're not cool enough, maybe. Maybe you need to. I gotta pay attention to my DNA. That's probably it on the screen. I mean, I don't, it's not, they, they reach out an email to me, you know. Oh, then I gotta pay attention to that. Yeah. You gotta pay attention to that. Yeah. So I love it. Because I just love, I love free stuff, man. I'd listen no matter where we are. I have a freaking PR package. I'm freaking fucking big PR package, baby. Yeah. Don't get me started on my PRs. They messaged me. They're gonna send me some obviously. What? Very kind. To congratulate me on winning that candy draft that you guys shit on me for. So how about that? That's two for two, baby. That's kind of crazy. I won the Christmas tree. Competition. And this one. You're not winning the Christmas tree this year. Oh, oh. I'll tell you that right now. I'm going hard. I will say this. Do you want the results? Captain talks poop a lot. Wow. He said you're the captain. I'll let you know right now. I gotta be the first mate. That's true. Your engine ever so close to me jumping across his desk one day and absolutely sticking my hand as far as your ass as it could go. And working you like that goddamn puppet that you got for us. Threadore promise, Frankie. I got 39%. Joe got 36%, Frankie got 25% of the votes. - People just, here's the thing, ball-nowers no. - Snickers is like just whacked. - Ball-nowers no, and here's the thing, I would have accepted losing to you. Losing to you hurts because you're just, you're King Vanilla. - What did you have? - I'm King for the people. - What did you have again? - Snickers. - Queen for the people. - I had Snickers, Hershey bar, blow-pops, trolling gummy worms, and cookie dough is my kicker. - Well, let's go ahead, two things that were good. What are we talking about here? - Well, that means you guys had one or less that work. - People were, I saw that people were upset that I picked milk duds. Milk duds suck. - Milk duds are the best. - Milk duds are good. - Milk duds are so good. - I'm just gonna glow a little bit now while we're here. Frankie was talking, Frankie picked kickheads, and then he went Tootsie Rolls, Swedish fish. - Yo, low-key, by the way, I just wanna say this. I was just in Canada for Canadian Thanksgiving, which I mean, I feel like a child who's happy about a divorce. Like two Christmas's, I mean. - Oh. - But I have two Thanksgiving's. - I was like, where are we going? - That's what I know. - But like, you know what I'm saying? Two Thanksgiving's, it's lovely. Point being, walking to Nicole's parents' house and I'm sitting at the kitchen table, I turn around, big bowl of fucking Tootsie Rolls. I haven't even seen these fuckers in years. - Yo, say what you want about the Canadians, and Ant has. - Their chocolate is so much better than our bastardized chocolate. - I really wish, I really wish that it wasn't true, but it is such a difference. - Yo, when we did the show in Vancouver last year, - Yeah. - I on the flight home, I walked through like the duty-free thing. - Yeah. - And I saw like the Canadian kit cats, and I was like, yo, hold on. And I held on. They are so much better than what we fucking have here. - I mentioned that to her mom one time, and now every single time I either go there or she comes here, she brings kit cats. - Yo, Nicole's parents, if you're watching this, I love kit cats too, dude. What the hell? - I mean, I don't love 'em. - I don't love 'em, they're okay. - I guess you guys were so upset that I beat you in the candy draft you didn't tell me we were recording the costume episode today. - That's a way to get back at you. - It's a thing, it was an accident. It was an oversight, to be fair, you know? - To be fair, I also forgot about it, and I texted him in a sweating panic. (laughing) - Well, I was like, oh fuck, did we forget? - I woke up one morning in Canada at like 6 a.m. and I was like, oh shit, like this is where we're going. - It's also funny because like we've done like two years where we've had like incredibly well-done, detailed Halloween makeup, Hollywood prosthetics, and now we are just in, I imagine Amazon purchased Halloween costume. - Oh yeah, big time. - I mean, I had to, I was, it was two days ago. - Yeah, and I'll tell you this, not very breathable. Daddy, I mean, you gotta sweater on. Also, you've got two sweaters on. - It's not real. - What was that? - It's not real. - It's like sewn in, it's sewn into the shirt. - It's not real sewn into the shirt. - That's a nice one, I like it a lot. Where'd you get it? - Yeah. - This is crazy. - I'm all about it. - It makes it look fancier. - I'm all about wearing two layers. It's hot in here, by the way. - I am all about it, honestly. I do like it. I will say going sweater on sweater is kind of nuts. - You can't have that. That's like wearing two condoms. It's actually bad. - It's not more protection. The friction. - I remember that in like health class in high school and they were just like, don't do it because the friction, it's like, if you rub two pieces of sandpaper together. - So then what if you put on three? - I imagine that is not good. I imagine that you will have, like, what? Don't even have sex, then. - No. - You might as well just have sex with a couch like JD Vance, allegedly, in Minecraft. - Yeah, if you fucked a couch, it's insane. - Well, how tall is JD Vance? - Oh my God, yeah, looked out up. (laughing) - Six, two. - I don't give a damn. - Fuck, though. - Oh really? I'll back it up and I'll just keep it to mostly political disrespect and moral views that I have that are different. - Hold on, what does that say? Hasn't he, like, midway? - His height was confirmed? - Yo. - Pulling out my one eye right now is good. Popular automated Google snippet mistakenly claimed he was five foot seven. - Huh. - Huh. - So he understands. (laughing) - You and JD Vance. - JD Vance! - JD Vance. - That's feather. - The only thing that we share is the fact that people think they were five foot five. - I can see you would have gotten intimate with a couch. Everyone's tried. - I don't think, no, we absolutely have not my guy. - Thought about it? What about that? - No. - Thought about it? I just don't think the cushions would be like, you know, kind to my wiener. - To that hammer he's thrown around. - I didn't have a good enough couch. - Yeah, you have to have a good looking couch. - Good looking couch. - Good enough couch? - Or just the feeling of a couch. - Look up. Look up different, like, let's see some good. - Forget about looking up. - How about this? - It had been objects. Let's get a top three going. - What's the bang in it? Oh, what do you think it is banging it, dude? What would you bang in there? Oh, what have you banged? Have you banged something? Ant, you banged. - I know. - The bang that can tell by your energy, you've got banged, you've got banged. - No, no. But, like, probably like stuffed animal, right? It's up there. - Ah, it has a face, dude. - It's so bad. - It's got eyes. - That's so bad it has got eyes. - Would you have to look into them? - He hasn't banged one, but one. - No, no, no, I've fingered one. - But I accidentally, you don't accidentally finger something. - No, no, it wasn't accident. I found myself in the middle of a fingering. I didn't know what I was doing. I was too young. But, like, I had a tigger. I told the story, Matt, I had a tigger thing and I was putting stuff in it. And then I realized, oh, I'm fingering. That's your story. That's my story and I'm being brave. - Honestly, thank you for your bravery. - Thank you. You're welcome? - I don't know. I heard a bag of beans. - A bag of beans, like you were a Roman? - Yeah. - You ever see those? We're like, a bag of cooked beans. I heard people do that. A bag of cooked beans. - That is so specific that when you say, I heard people do that, that means that you have a lot more information you're not sure. - That's us. - I think it's a prison thing. - I remember in that movie, Good Luck Chuck. Remember that movie? - Yeah, did I take hook again, like-- - Jessica Alba? - I think it was Jessica Alba. What's his name? - Oh, yeah, Mango. - No, it was either a honey dew or a cantaloupe. And he'd like, cut a hole in it and put it in the microwave for like a minute. - If you need to go that far out of the way, just don't do-- - Just work on your personality and say-- - Just exactly, like do a push-up. (laughing) - Do a push-up. - Do a push-up. - I think, what's gonna say, you asked the question. I gave like two answers, you look me dry. - I mean, you're not dry when you're talking about fucking, you know? - You left me dry. You're talking about all this stuff. - Yeah, that fucking, whatever. What else? I was thinking of something and I was like, that could be good. - Washing machine serves like an honorable mention. - Washing machine, how big is your dick? - Well, no, I didn't mean as, what the fuck are you talking about? - Just deserves, you know, an honorable mention in like terms of what it's done for the community. - What's it done for the community? - What are you talking about? - No one's done a sexual act with a washing machine. - I think-- - Oh, they get stuck in the washing machine thing, get it. - Wait, what? - porn. - Well, I don't-- - It's like, oh, I'm stuck in the washing machine and then you get banged from behind. That's like a porn, right over my head. - Yeah. - Right over my head. - So did I. I was thinking that he was putting his winger in it. - I thought you were referencing like, there were stories that I had heard of sororities that would put, like, it was like, it's hazing. Let's make that abundantly clear. But like, they would put girls that were like, trying out for their sorority. They'd put newspaper down, sit them on top of a washing machine, bare-bottomed, and, like, put on lesbian porn. And, like, they would say, if you, you know, if we find anything on the newspaper, you're not in. Apparently, I've only heard-- I've never heard of, like, this happened to me. I've heard that it was a thing that there were some really nasty sororities had done. What's going on with people when they get to college? What's going on with fraternities? What are we doing here? - Yeah, no, we're not-- - Fuck is happening. - Let's not, let's not. - Show the fuck out. - Yeah. - Just go to school and drink a beer. - Yeah. - Well, don't do that, unless you graduate, you know, whatever. - I just-- - You could use the dishwasher and dryer at home as well. - Dishwasher. - Well, sorry, washing machine. - Yeah, I think there's a lot of stuff going on in your house. - Yeah, dude, you have the fucking most-- - You can't even give them an answer, because we don't have answers. - I'm trying to-- - You're fucking every appliance in your home. You got a PC Richard's, and it's basically a GoonFest. - Same microwave. And I'm literally calling the cops on yourself. - No, no, microwave. - You said you put a bag of beans in the microwave? - No, I said that's a prison thing, I think. - Prison? They got microwaves in prison? - No, I don't know. Maybe they just hold it really tight to heat it up. I don't know what they do. - I'm making it with pooch under the bed or something? - What's that? - Wine and a date. I was gonna say, yeah, they can wind 'em, dye 'em, and then pork you, pine 'em. - This is a weekly, right? - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - There are some people that are ads on it. They're gonna be upset that there's sponsors of this episode. - I mean, you know, I'm in a pirate costume, so. - Or? - I can't think of anything, though. - Not one answer. - You mean-- - I honestly can't. That's the thing that's, like, you've run through everything. I saw one on the opposite that like someone did a tier list and forgot me for not giving these people the proper credit, but like they did a tier list of like the most delicious looking inedible things. So like things that are inedible. If you consume them, they will hurt you. They will kill you. They could possibly like be very harmful. But what looks the most delicious. I was going to say fabulous. The purple fabulous. That's good to know marbles. Marbles is up there. Yes. Marbles is definitely up there. But also not just marbles, but the fucking magon ones. They're like a little flat. Is that my zone? No. Marjong time. What's the shit that like? Like Moncala? Moncala. Moncala. They're like half. They're like they used to come with like Pokemon packs. They're like half energy like crystal things that they would do. They're good. Those are good. Those do look tasty, but also like the ones where they have like the little like. Yeah, that's the thing in the middle of it. It looks like a bank lollipop. It does look like a bank lollipop. What other one? Obviously the one that I think is the most like. Oh, that the pink Windex, I would rip. Also, I would put like Pepto Bismal on like everything. I do like Pepto Bismal. Tide pods crazy that they look delicious and slime too. Yeah, I wouldn't be able to get past the consistency, but like. We need pictures, my guy. So this is probably like a bad answer that you guys are not going to like, but steal. Like, you know, like the bean in Chicago, like a part of me is like, I was just take a fucking big buy out of this. Who was the there was like someone that like they said that like they look like they like chew on aluminum foil. What? There was like a viral thing that they were saying like this person looks like they chew on aluminum foil. I don't know. Damn it. Believe it or not, not an easily Google thing. You just gotta use your mind, buddy. You just gotta use your mind. Think about things that you want to eat. Yeah, dude. Play dough. I mean, but technically technically it is non toxic. So it is. You know what? I used to take play dough and I would put a little piece of my nose and I would just hold it there just to keep it just to keep it in there. My friend would do that with rocks. Um, that might have been daily actually. You know, the more that we find out about you and the people around you, the more concerning it becomes like you've been a child. I've never put rocks at my nose. Dude, I was terrified of like you always hear people. I just like you put something up. You know, as you put something in your ear, it's going to get stuck there. Never did it. Your ears are more afraid of the nose. I feel like I have more control. Do you remember speaking of delicious looking? Do you remember the like they're kind of like. Puddy ear ear plugs. Yes, they came in like a glass like plastic box and they were like big orange things and you could put them in your ear and they would act as ear plugs for swimmers or whatever. My brothers had it in their ear and we went tubing and they fell tubing and the water pressure like lodged it in their ear. My dad literally had to pick at it with like a fucking screwdriver to get it all out. But that should look like the screwdriver. They make different size school drivers. I mean his dad is like, you know, he's a construction guy. My dad would clean his ears out with his key. I thought like a tweezer or something like that. You think my father had a tweezer. I think that generation has tweezers. My dad, if I said the word tweezer, he'd be like, oh, that's gay. Pliers. Pliers. Pliers. Pliers are way bigger. Needle nose pliers. You think these child's ears. Maybe needle nose. But like, if you have like a small like one of the small like that you could use for like toys or like, you know, eyeglasses or something. At least it's not a fucking kitchen knife like someone was cleaning out their throat with. Yeah, I mean, I've made mistakes and I continue to make mistakes. It's like saying like I use the fucking thing of nails and screws as mouthwash. It's not the same. Although that doesn't sound bad either. Like imagine you can get a bowl of nails for breakfast and actually that sounds delicious. Like it would like it look like it would be Mac crunchy speaking and edible. Oh also an inedible thing that looks delicious lava. I was going to say good answers. I was going to say lava lamp. Lava lamp. I drink that but lava. I still to this day. Lava. Dude, I am all on board. Wasn't there recently like a thing of like AI robots jumping into lava. Oh, yeah, I saw that where it was like they were like getting rid of these robots and they like programmed to jump into the lava. I don't even know if that was real or not. Great. Just I just careful with what if and when the whole like terminator to the future comes about, people are going to remember. They threw our ancestors into the volcano. Exactly. Exactly. They sacrificed them to the volcano gods. She's got to be just be careful guys. Yeah. What other inedible stuff while you guys are thinking of that. Let's get to the second round of these ads here. We have a company called a quince. Okay, quince deep people. 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This is, it's the 24 seven life assistant for, for people, you know, you're, you're on the app. You can get stuff from the store. You want to get some food? You want to get a little drink, something like that or whatever. You can do that with door dash. But there's multiple uses that you can use for door dash. There was a time where me and Frank sent our mother's flowers for mother's day with door dash. So they are capable of doing things like that. It's, it's an indicator. Okay, that this app also can be used for letting someone know that you're thinking of them. So if you know someone who's going through a tough time, you can send them maybe their favorite snack or maybe some flowers or something like that. So it's a good way to connect. Not only is it your own personal life assistant or like, oh, I need this thing real quick, but I don't have time to run to the store. You can get it with door dash. But also you can let someone know you're thinking of them with door dash. So there's a bunch of different ways that you can be using door dash. But it makes showing up for the people you love easy. So go check out door dash. Order now. Go download the app. Go use it, ladies and gentlemen. All right. You got it. You got to have more. I mean, I saw one that was on there is like that pink fiberglass installation. It just looks like cotton candy. Yeah, I haven't had cotton candy out of the metal thing and so long. My guy, at least once a year. Where do you see it? Like a fair? Well, when we were on vacation as a family, they had it like a party there. I like it when they're like, you can just, you know, you can just buy a cotton candy machine. Like, and not like one of the like large industrial ones, they make like at home ones now. Frank, if I try to buy a match box for my apartment, Nicole tells me, oh my God, that's so awesome. That will look great at the studio. If I bought a cotton candy machine, I mean, I think I'm getting my head cut off. I think that, you know, you can make it work. I think like if you, you have to like pitch it. Does she ever sweet tooth? She likes like pastry and stuff. She does, but like, bro, first of all, what am I doing with a cotton candy machine? Like, I need that in my life. I don't have any self control. I'll be making cotton candy every three hours. You are in your whimsy era. I think that it would only do you a lot of good in this world. If you decided I'm committing to being whimsical Joe and look, there's a cotton candy machine on our kitchen island now. Our kitchen island also isn't that very big, so it would take up a lot of it. They make them like this big. You can get one for a couple bucks. Low key. I like to eat in the cotton candy off of like the paper. Yeah, I do like, you know, like paper packaging on like desserts like icy or something like that. I like that. Dude, I saw it the other day and I was so excited because I was like, this still exists. Like like a like an icy cart. What do you mean? Like a nice Italian ice. Yeah, like an Italian ice cart. Remember we'd go to the park and like, you know, they'd show up and they'd have the bin and I don't know how it was still cold. I mean, dude, you maybe you're spending too much time not in New York, but of course they're around. I know they're around. around but like I saw one recently and I was like they still got it good. You know because like you get like a you'd get like the three like you'd get like lemon cherry blueberry and then like you pinched the bottom of that paper cup and you Yeah, I think we ate them differently. We had different like strategies of how to eat them. I know how Joe was No, no one even vanilla Joe First of all, it always get rainbow ally also the best flavor. You you are allergic. I agree But I would get that or we get like lemon. I really like a lemon. I was so it's so refreshing. It's so I love lemon flavored Like ice and it smells so good dude When's the last time you had a marinos like icy cup? It's been a while, but what the fuck is at the bottom of that shit Just just dense sugar But like how is it like glass? I don't know, but I don't like it dude Do you have a strategy like do you eat all the way to that or do you eat all the way to it? And then I don't touch any of it until it's just that left. Oh, you're crazy And then I'll like put the whole thing in my mouth and I'll chew it like I'm chewing glass like I'm from fucking The evil dead or something. I won't do that. I'll create like I'll create a A hole yeah, and once I can see it a little bit then I flip the whole really yeah, and then I start I love when it like breaks and like yo, it's the thickest syrupy is sure like it is so do you know what we're referencing? Think so it's like the green and yellow think like a cup ice. It's the green and yellow ones. Yeah, the yellow ones. Yeah Yeah, the bottom of it is like thick, but it not all flavors. I've learned There are some flavors that don't have it, but you need either the red or the or the lemon lemon. Yeah, and what the brown one the chocolate I think is like it's don't that has it. Yeah, I've never had it actually glassy. I need to do that I need to do like yeah, I think like orange. It's like one to bro when I was a child orange flavor It's the best and I got orange and I like got to the bottom of this thing and it was just cup and no thick sugar I was like what the fuck are we doing? Yeah What the fuck is this orange was my first favorite color because orange ice pops orange I see like those were the best flavors of everything Oh, I don't feel that way they were I'm not saying now. I was always a green and blue But you just went off of I like the taste of the oranges. What do you think I'm going off of the color? Watermelon and blue blue is like green was not watermelon red is watermelon dumbass. No, it's red is cherry Or strawberry or watermelon. What would green be green apple? No, it's watermelon No, when have you had when is watermelon been colored green? Leafy taffy outside. Leafy taffy. No, laughy taffies. We're not green. They were they were like a pink And the only time I could think that watermelon was green was a big league chew Which is the only acceptable time because that is the most Delicious tasting thing per time that it it lasts per time that it looks like per capita. Yeah I got I got I got I got dude like all flavor Like all colored green flavors were green apple look at it what flavor was a nice pop Show me watermelon Great apple. I told you lemon lime. Hold on. I just said lime lemon lime is good I would have guessed lemon lime. I'm on board with lemon lime But it's it's green apple and then just look up watermelon flavored Snacks and I guarantee the aggressive amount is red or pink Well pink is fine pink is great, too. I'm up far with pink. I love pink. I'm allergic I'm seeing a lot of green because they're like they're trying to like capture the the rind green air heads Green all right green air heads is the exception too. That's that's but that's a top five. But significantly green significantly their redder pink Yes, bro, they're not red red is cherry always or strawberry or Watermelon there might be a difference in the hue Like it might be like a like a darker red a lighter red and then like a pinkish red. I mean bro jolly ranchers Great example jolly ranchers those are pink. Yeah Yeah air heads and a big green apple. I'm not saying green apple But I but pink also mad good also when it comes to sauces anything orange Yeah, yeah, whenever stores like oh, we got a special sauce. I'm like already know this bitch is orange. I'm Yeah, like orange sauces No, because it could be ketchup and mustard mixed. It's never ketchup and mustard. What are we even saying with our mouth? It has never been that one time people do it. Who does that? Also big Mac sauce garbage and that's kind of orangey pinkish I can't like identify it, but if it's orange, I'll ride it's garbage. It's fine. Go but like I've never had Chick-fil-A so I don't know if that but that sauce looks good. That's good. It's amazing. Raising cane sauce or Dave's hot chicken sauce. I fucked that up Fucked it up Dave's hot chicken sauce was good. I like it. I've never had raisin canes. Chick-fil-A is So very good. Also, I don't really like a fucking chunky sauce unless it's salsa. Oh or blue cheese When this blue cheese has bits of blue cheese in it It makes it worse because then you get less of the blue cheese dressing blue cheese is so tough for me Especially when it's chunky because I'm like But good it's better good. I gotta have a creamy fucking Bastion and just be like you want to get creamed by the sauce. He know what I'm you know what I like right in the eye That's what happened to your eye right Chris Dottry No, there's no life after you know. I hope he sees this and he's just like I'm gonna come there and beat the fuck out of those guys That's where he's gonna be speaking of a lawsuit my guy Chris Dottry. I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll let him beat me up for a couple hundred. Yeah, but if but he'll kill you He can't know but see like he could but he won't because he's a good guy because I imagine he's a good guy Well, what if he hits you with a guitar? Oh, then I'm pumped Yeah, you see like I like he's fucking Jeff Jarrett J E double F J double R E double T. I think that he plays like an electric guitar. That shit ain't breaking that I mean something will break if he hits me with that and it will not be the guitar. It will be the bone that covers your brain Yes, it will be the skull Yeah often referred to as the skull Yeah, but how aerodynamic is a guitar to swing you could probably weave it You never it is a very famous thing that people swing and break often go No, I know that I'm saying like to hit a person though. It's kind of cumbersome. I feel well They they turn it sideways. I feel look at listen to Edgar Allen. Oh over here. Yeah, this guy It's cumbersome by fear. Oh, yeah, you're quoting the Raven right now That was a tough sentence to get out didn't it? It's guy's been reading the fucking Oscar Wilde over here. Yeah, what do we do for you? cumbersome see what you see us Lewis over there. I have a question. What's your fucking Mark Twain over here? Yeah, I have a question Rank these on How easy they are to swing katana baseball bat acoustic guitar Let's see two of those are meant to be swung. You can't that's like comparing apples and oranges. Yeah It's true. What did I say? What's an origin? Did you say orange? I said oranges Like I feel like I have a katana is made to cut through the air. I agree with you a baseball is made to be swung agree with you twice a guitar But also look watch this Lot easier to swing it that way Oh the guitar yeah, I agree so you would put it in third I would all of those three things that's like I said What's the easiest thing to throw a baseball a marble or a two ton truck One of those things is meant to be thrown. I agree with you. Yeah, it seemed like you disagree with me It's not top three most aerodynamic things in the world. Congratulations. Got it Skate things he's fucking it's gonna master of aerodynamics over here. I'm trying to think of another author's name I mean I think she's what we've done. We've done Oscar Wilde. We've done it growl and poe King of comedy over here what we've been you know, he's fucking hell out of here who the hell's who the hell's you think he is Johnson over here. Yes Lewis. Yeah, yeah, he thinks he's a we should know more author J. R. R. Tolkien you think yeah, he thinks he's talk You ain't talk. I think you J. K. Rowan. Oh careful. Yeah, I knew I knew I knew I knew it's Back up on that. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you think who you think you are? You think you're fucking who you think you are you think you're Judy Bloom over here. You think you're Judy Bloom. We think you're Captain on the pants over here. No, no way. You think you're You think you're Dr. Sus over here. Dr. Michelle Silverstein over here. I think he's shell great the great poet Shell Silverstein. I think he's Is guy can't fucking figure anything out. I am trying to think of as many as I can. I can't think of a single Who has written a book? This is terrible R. L. Stein. You think he's got I think he's R. L. Stein over here. I'm fucking Stephen King over Yeah, big Stephen King over here. Oh look at look at James Patterson sitting across from us You know we can David Bell Dachi. Oh Big Nora Efron. I got some more. I got some that's good. I got some we could stop there. I mean But if I think a one it's my point. Nicholas Spock's over here Spock's Mr. O'Neal John over here. What are we doing? Oh, oh my god. They've - Both are sick. (laughing) - Fucking be a John over here. - He's got a dear John, give me a bucket. - Who, who, who are you? - I'm not helping the boys. - Who are you, uh, this guy would be the, Stephen King came way too late. - He came very, very late. - So it's like, who do you think you are? - You guys are dictionary.com, he's Oxford over there. - Who the fuck is, who the fuck is the, who the fuck is the road twilight? Who's her name? - I don't fucking know. - Who's her name? - And then who wrote 50 shades of gray? - Oh shit, that's a good one. - That's a good one too. - I think she's the fire ice and then she's, - He's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, - You guys just, George our Martin over here. - George our Martin over here. - You guys are a bink of it. - Oh, let me guess. You're, uh, Frank Herbert over here. - Fuck you, you wrote Dune. - You got it. - Yeah. - We're having a good time. - We are, we are. - Can you think of someone right now? I'm not helping this. - Oh Nathaniel Hawthorne across the house. - What the fuck in, then? - What will catch you on the run? - Ah, I know this, um, uh, fuck his son. - Oh, look at JD Salinger over here. - Oh JD Salinger over here. - JD, JD. - Oh my God. - Salinger's guy. - He's looking at the fucking, I don't blame him. - Fucking William shit. - Fucking Jane Austen. - Oh, that is. - Oh, that is Jane Austen over here. Look at Jane Eyre. - Is that one he's looking at? - We're all the little women. - This guy thinks he's Leo Tolstoy over here. - Oh my God. Oh, we got Chikovsky over here. Oh, he was, he was, I think he didn't music and, and like ballet is, oh shit. Look at this guy. - Oh, he's check off, he's check off. - Who's that? - Check off, check off. - Check off, check off over here. - Oh my God, so, excuse us. I didn't know Sylvia Plath was in the building. (laughing) - We gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta know more female. You know, my, oh God. I didn't know that we were gonna be hanging out with Maya Angelou. (laughing) That's a good one, now. - Yeah, man. Fucking guy. Who wrote the Bible? Jesus, I think he's Jesus Christ. I was disciples of him. - I think he's a New Testament. - New Testament, Old Testament, Dottora, the fucking Quran. He thinks he's written all of them. - He thinks he's all of them. - He's all of them. - I think he's the Bible. - What do you think you are, Hammurabi? - What do you think you are, Pope John Paul? - Oh my God. - Shut the fuck up, you ain't Pope John nothing. - What do you think you're the first letter to the Corinthians? - Yeah. - Pope John pussy. (laughing) - All right. - Well, and we'll have a good time riffing about our authors for the last five minutes. We'll look up a few at the end there, but you know, it's okay. - Let us know if there are any authors we missed out on. - Yeah, we probably, which I think there are. - Yeah, the guy thinks he's fucking, you know. He's crazy, this guy thinks he's fucking. - Who wrote the giver? - I think that was so interesting, am I crazy? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, there's. - Dr. Suss, there's gotta be good ones like that. - There's gotta be good ones. - Who wrote books? - Who wrote books? - All these books. - Oh, you think you're the baron stained bears? - The baron stained bears. - Yeah, they wrote those. - Who wrote those? - The baron stained. - I think he's fucking good night moan over there. - Yeah, right, Stella Luna. - My ass. - I think he's good night moan. - Guys, think you fucking the rainbow fish? - Yeah, here, look, I think he's the big, cut for the big red dog over there. - Yeah, okay, I'm sure. - Absolutely, you're the stinky cheese man. - Yeah. - Fucking out of here. - Don't mess. - I think he's fucking. - On a scale of one to funny. How funny would it be if I just muted your mic stirring that point? (laughing) - I don't know. - And there's just text on the screen. But that would be offensive to our audio only listeners and we love them. They didn't see what I had. - They didn't see it. (laughing) - Well, there you have it, folks. You know, that's all we have for today. - Frank, where can I find you? - The Frank Alvarez all over. I'm on Disney+, check it out there, do all that. - It's very casual, I'm on Disney. - Don't check that all out. - Hey, what the hell are you? - I mean, I'm Ant Presco, TikTok, and Instagram, boom. - Oh, yeah, you think so, you know what I mean? - Now he's big, now he's 10, 10 wins. You give us 22 minutes, we'll give you the world, you know what I'm saying? - I think so, he's down with those pizza. - Yeah, this guy, he's definitely, you're more of a, St, you're more of a Papa John's guy. - Papa John, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Three weeks in a row, we've brought up Domino's pizza. - I mean, they're having a moment, Domino's pizza, send us. - Send us sticks, merch. - No, the Domino Rolex, send us that. - Yeah, but yeah, thank you guys so much for watching and being patrons, the ones who are, I know this is weekly, but go follow me at Joe Santaghal, go follow the show at the base. We are on TikTok and Instagram and that is all. See you guys next time. Happy Halloween.