#570 - Calling The Bomb Squad

Welcome back to the Welcome back to the basement yard. Oh, I was in mid Something was happening. There was a lot of air in your chest. I was like you're gonna pass out. Honestly, it sometimes Fue. Well, almost that was close. That was as close as this I've gotten to close as this is as close as I've gotten to throwing up on here. I had food before. I ate a lot of edamame. You're big on that aren't yeah, aren't you a big bitch on edamame? Who the fuck doesn't? I love things that come in a little pod. It's fucking and I get to like shoot it into my mouth You know what I like when you when you get to discard food like a wing you're like get far Get the fuck the fuck the fuck the bone fuck this wing. Oh, I love and the pod like fucked a pod Fuck the pod fuck the peanut fuck the bone. I love the peanut. Oh my God. What I mean peanuts is everywhere I'm letting you know right now if you like sunflower seeds That's why I love sunflower seeds because part of it is just fucking spit in that you like to spit You're a fucking sealer. Oh, well, don't say that because apparently you know, that's not a good thing. I don't know but Oh, I love You can't do nothing no more and that's a lovely hat by the way not my just cut off of me talking about so much someone else is Merch. Yeah, finally for once you're not wearing picky boy merch Basement, y'all are saying you're wearing the right fucking merch. There is new merch available right now at SantaGottaStudios.com you can buy this lovely shirt there obviously it says SantaGotta Studios on the back Look at that. And well, oh my god. Don't your desk almost went down You almost went down. What's that? That's it? There's a design that was that like a rugby sweater I think they call it or something like that. I don't know, but it feels very nice. Oh look at this one Look at that cute for the regulars. The regulars. You think it's nice cute. Look at that pop of color, bitch Look at that. Oh And those lovely hats that they have on oh my god. I love that. I have a little magic bag You do have a little magic bag. What's in it? More stuff. More stuff is in it Show us the back now. Wow It's like the SNL script and stuff like that like you're an exclusive club, but the club is Merch. It reminds me of Toy Story Oh like Jesse's like the like lettering on like you know what he's round up and Jesse, you know Also before we move any further also just want to let everyone know that obviously you can tell by looking at me That the AC is out. Yeah, so I'm dying of a thirst Frank you want to do me a favor actually thirsty Well, give me all the fan fan you up face fan you up. Yeah, just cuz I need a little fanny. Oh, that's crazy Um, how did that become to be like a fanny is a butt. How's that possible? I don't know that kind of sucks Is that name? I'll be honest with you. I like a name for a nice fanny. Oh, yeah, you want me to blow you from here? I so I swear to God. That's crazy. I'm so sorry dude. You want to blow me from there? It's also with my face Well if anyone's gonna be doing the job here. It's gonna be you. Let's be honest. I'm ready for anything What the hell was that? I'm kidding It's hot in here. You're gonna need it. You're gonna need it especially because the merch is heating up baby The merch is so hot on the off the on the press. I think it's off the press How did you get one and I don't where the fuck is my shit? I want someone broke my other face. I think that was me and now I know I feel bad Please Please don't yeah, I could try you want to you want to try if you talk if you can toss that and get it in my hand right here You're a magician. Okay. I don't know if that's the payoff It went two inches went nowhere. That was it's not very arrow dynamic. That's my bad you guys do you doing great? These are good. You know I you know how it matches your shirt that you're wearing perfectly which by the way That's a really cool color. It's not bad. That's a cool great. It's a good color. Where'd you get that old? Maybe really? Hell yeah, bitch. Wow. I'm a I'm fucking old. Baby's got some good shit. We actually free plug for fucking old Navy We talked about a color similar to that on the patreon patreon.com slash the basement. Oh We're just fucking everything else got anything there was everything guys to get plugged picky boys Merge and Santa got a studio. I'm getting blown from here. I love how you're saying no, that's right We're not allowed to because we're in a long standing feud with the picky boys the other show Don't think I forgot that you guys can't don't even have the respect to say our name. Okay, say my name like Heisenberg You damn right. Okay. Oh Breaking bad. Yeah, you don't remember that where he's just like say my name. He's like Your horny your Heisenberg your god damn right You're saying it with a smile and you're making it horny really because this is all right show about drunk. I sh- I sh- I shan to be horny watch this go Your Heisenberg oh No, see that back now. I fucked up. You're too horny to think say my name That's a little horny still I think really yeah, thanks still horny do do a voice I think it's just the line is horny. You know what I mean? It is a bit of a sexual I don't think that you're necessarily the I mean you look at the undertones of rising to the top of a criminal empire There's some sex and power involved in that. You know what I mean for sure say my name Your Heisenberg. Hmm. You're god damn right Last horny you doing a gruff. This is what's a gruff? This is this is Billy Billy Cranston. Listen to me. It's the power ranger This is Brian Cranston Billy Cranston is a power ranger. Yeah He was named after Brian Cranston because Brian Cranston originally did work on mighty more from power rangers Frank it's like you think I'm an idiot. It's you know you don't you think that I Do you think that's a lie? Yes, no He did like the voice for some of the original monsters and the original mighty more from power rangers Brian Cranston Yes, and who was named after him one of the characters Billy Cranston the blue ranger the nerd. Oh my god You know like I don't even know what any of their played by David Yost who liked my my post on Instagram one day We were super hyped riding high brother David Yost. Yeah That's the actor's name right everyone's getting a free plug. Who do you want to plug this episode with looking that up? Help or hurt your argument. Is it true? I think he's calling me a I am calling him a lot. He's calling me a liar I thought that he was pulling prank on me. What let me ask you. I do love pranks exactly why I assumed But what would that prank do for me? I got just any of your pranks do for any some of them some of them During the first season a mighty more from power rangers Brian Cranston worked as a voice actor tubbing English lines for Japanese monster. Oh, so there was a Japanese monster but they were like we need a well all the guys name was snizzard Snizzard I think it's the lizard. I think it's the lizard one. I think I had the he's like a big green lizard and I had his His toy. Yep, that's snizzard Well, that looks fire. Maybe that's not Dude some of these I'm telling you guys how to do it. I mean listen Brian Cranston hollywood legend at this point in time But all those original power ranger shows were Japanese they were Japanese. I didn't have this toy Um, they were Japanese and then they just dubbed over them But they like try their best to like get the lines to work That's why I like to read a repulsive when they're on the moon. You can kind of tell she's not speaking English Uh, you know, but yeah Brian Cranston and then the name to character after after him. I mean you see the boy who cried wolf That's why you say something like that and I'm like I use I am not crying wolf. I am crying Brian Cranston You've already cried wolf is my point. I know cried wolf. I've done pranks. Well, that's the this is the crying of the wolf And then the other pranks that I've done have been just like got your pranks with like you know nuts and stuff like that Right, yeah, you know, like you're you know, you always these nuts. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Those are the ones that I've done people send me those all the time now Do like you'll get get them with this yeah, I know and I'm like we're over. I think it's not even that It's like once you send it's like I know you send it to them and now I can't get you with it. Right. I'm assuming someone sending it to me You guys are getting it to I've gotten maybe one or two that I've seen I really I have not seen many We've got the Odyssey one obviously The Odyssey wants to yeah, Odyssey my nuts or something like that. You want to see these balls in your fucking eye socket Okay, that one that's not my wiener down your nose. I really try sometimes I really try sometimes to come up with like really unique ones, but I like they're it's harder than you think I want to and I sit there and I go let me think and then I come up with nothing in a minute and I'm like I'm over I'm like I can't think of anything now. It's like how am I going to use my time well and I'm going to sit here and try to figure out how to get my friends to say a word So I could say they're sucking on my nuts. Right. Exactly. You know productive. Yeah, and the payoff unfortunately is not that grand I love a well-placed vastly disagree a really well-placed got him. I mean I have seen the the clips on tiktok of you getting me I don't I didn't I wasn't there when your children were born, but I imagine it looked similar to how excited you get when you're like and you're just so hyped that you get to tell me that my balls are any cities taped these nuts to your face so you can see these nuts I think anything that you can kind of Put you know effort into that just like works out makes you excited. It doesn't really matter what it is Sometimes it could be a prank sometimes it could be Anything else that you put effort into or something like that you know like a hard, you know like a school project Like you're excited, you know, and it's like I can't wait until I could show this off I was so pumped to show off the telling you to see these nuts. Are you caught and suck on these nuts? You caught suck on these nuts Yeah, when a plan comes together, there's nothing better. I mean is there truly I the one I think I'm most proud of is white cough Doug white cough. Yeah, I wasn't expecting that at all It's a white cough on these nuts and you can suck them. The pay off doesn't really make sense. Why would you cough on my nuts? You could just suck them. Yeah, who was coughing on your nuts? I don't know what quite happened there. Me neither. But the tongue was working there a little bit. Bro, speaking of nuts, you just can't say that. I watched it. You can't say that about for the audio only. He's speaking about nuts. We are. We're talking nuts. Well, I was going to say speaking of nuts. Did you get it? Nope, because there's a fly in here too that I'm going to decapitate it. If it falls, no, I saw it most. Oh, fuck. Don't I had it? I was going to say pass it over to me and I'm literally going to eat it. If I catch this with my hand, dammit. Would you? What if I gave you some money? True, true, sorry. I did that once and it was one of the most sick like experiences I've ever had in my life. You don't like a fly? Rad. Like, I got sick. Oh, not like a Hawaii sick? Yeah, not like a large a dog town sick. Right, just like a violently sick. Yes, like it was eight of fly. Yeah, I caught, same situation. I caught it and I was dared to eat it. Yeah. And I did. And I had gotten like the worst like sickness. It was a sinus infection, but I imagine that the timing was suspicious. How would it, I don't know, dude. I guess if it had something in its blood, the timing was awfully suspicious. Yeah. And remember when I, like, I needed that like big inhaler? Yeah, it was an inhaler and it had like a fucking hyperbaric chamber on the end. It literally looked like an iron lung. It was bad. What? Frankie, why do you need that inhaler? Oh, I had a fly. Why? That's not what he was saying at the time. I remember he pulled it out and it was like multicolored and I'm like, what the fuck is this? I thought it was a toy. He thought I was doing another print of Brian Kranston's lizard prank. Yeah, exactly. I thought that he was snissing. And then he like just pressed this button and then it's super, it looked like a super asthma pump. It was like, you pressed it and you saw the medicine go in the pump and then I inhaled it and it was like, you know when like movies are TV when they like reverse a shot of smoke? Yeah. And it like goes and like real quick. That's what it was like. Yeah. It was fucking super intense. Have you ever growing up to someone's asthma pump and just went, yeah, like breathe, like yeah. As a pump still a thing, are they around? Big. Big teeth. Big tits, what do you say? Big tits. I don't know where I was going with that. Big tits. Are they still like around? Yeah, they're still big tits, Frank. Yeah, that's not what I was asking. What about the nebulizer? Did you guys ever do the nebulizer? Is that the thing that you're referring to? No, no, no, no, it was like a machine, a big machine that we had at home. It looked like a typewriter and it had a mouthpiece on it. And for like 20 minutes, like every couple days, we would have to sit there with the thing of like a hose in our mouth and breathe. We? Myself and my brothers. Why? Or maybe just me, but I remember I definitely did it. You were all sick? I don't think we were sick. I think it was like for like a childhood asthma thing. Oh, no. I never did that. You never heard of that either? I don't know. Bro, it was like, I don't know how else to explain it. Was it preventative or you had asthma? I don't know what the fuck it was. You thought that it was just like, but did you think at a time it was preventative? I mean, I just remember at the time being pissed because I smelled, you know that like the like smell, that like mediciney, vapory smell. And then thing was loud too. 'Cause it was like taking medicine and like putting it in like mist form and I was breathing it in. Oh, maybe you guys were, maybe you guys all had like a sinus infection together or something? No, I did it for a while. I think it was like a childhood asthma thing. What's a while? Like, you did it for like a year? I remember it happening periodically. Put it like that. Not like for like, you're sick. You need this for a month. You would just always be doing it. There was like several times. So like four times a year, you just break this thing out. I mean, maybe more, honestly. I don't really remember. Neb, you lies, er, what the fuck? 90s. How many flies were you eating? I wasn't eating that many. Yeah, dude. That's what it is? That middle one. Yo, that's what I remember. This? Wow. And I would sit there and just fucking breathe. Well, clearly that's medicine. Yes. I mean, it was, it was abundantly clear that it was medicine. The OG vape pen. Yeah. I don't know. I don't think. Maybe it is more what's it called than I, because I don't know what that is. I never had it. Devibrous, polmo, aid, compressor, asthma, and lung conditions. So maybe you guys just had some. I mean, I think we, I'm pretty sure I had childhood asthma. And then I, like, grew out of it, because I was like, yeah, right. Right. You said to your lungs, fucking man up, bitch, it's time to grow up, fucking figure this shit out. Do the one job you have. Yeah, exactly. All you got to do is breathe. You know, just. That's it. That's all. But that's it. You guys never had to do anything like that? No. Wow. I've taken some hits of asthma and haller thing. I've done that too. And then afterwards, I like convinced myself that I should not have done that. Why? I mean, if anything, it would only help. I also thought that like steroids were just steroids. So when someone was like, oh, I have a steroid in this, I thought that I would hit someone asthma and be like, yeah, I'm going to go to gym. I mean, I, I think there is a way that you're right. Yeah, but I think it's just for your lungs. It's not like it's like in your, like, you know what I mean? I think it, I think the steroids, like, because I've been on prednisone a couple times, which is a pretty strong steroid. And I think it just like amplifies whatever your body is doing. So like, if you're taking a steroid and you're taking, you know, let's say, a medicine for fucking, you know, anything, it just amplifies its ability to do that. You get that bitch. You get that son of a bitch. You fucking bitch. You fucking fuck you. Oh, I think you get it. No, but that was the most embarrassing thing. It's like grabbing in a visible ladder, you know, like, you're trying to climb that, you try to climb that fly. You know, if we get, we're going to get it by the end of the fucking apple. I went too handy after that thing. That's crazy. I'm going to slap the shit out of it later. Have you ever been on a steroid, whether it be a steroid cream? Oh, you're fucking eye when your eye was all googly last year. I did. Yeah. I had a steroid in my eye and didn't like, it helped, but like, did you get like supervision? No. It was for, uh, it's what you're describing. Yeah. It's like, it's supposed to help whatever. They also said there was multiple, uh, there was different levels of the steroid that you can get. They didn't give me like the biggest one because they were worried about like my eye pressure or something. But I've taken prednisone at random, you know, not at random times, but for different things during the last like 15 years. And I remember I would sweat profusely like to the point like, like I would be sitting here and I would be like dripping sweat. Yeah. And I think it just like makes, it just like amplifies everything. Your heart rate just starts going maybe. Bro, I was, I think I told you this. I was having like, like, super existential crises like, like, I was like disassociating for like a whole drive. And I'd show up at the studio and I'd be like, how did I get here? You know what I have? I don't know if this is like a super common thing, but when I drive long distances, I really have to lock in, especially at night. You get highway hypnosis. Yeah. Like I, like I don't remember it. Like I get there and like I feel like in the moment I'm aware and conscious, but I'm just like out of it. There are times I've driven and it should be like, holy shit, I was just driving. You just drive that and not crash because I just forget that I'm going. Yeah, that's kind of what I'm describing is like my, especially if I'm by myself, but I'm not talking to someone, I'm kind of just zoned out. And then I get there and I'm like, I don't even do the time past, but we should get a hypnotist on this show. We should do it. I don't think either of us are like, why not? Because I don't think either of us are like open to it enough. Like we're very skeptic. I'm speaking for you, but like you know me well enough to be able to speak for me in that regard. But I feel like you, like you have to like really submit to that. But I find it hard to believe that it's like someone's going to come, what the hell was that? Because you were moving like a cheetah. It's back. Fuck. And I can just tell Frankie was like, oh, I have to submit to a hypnotist. No, but like if they were, like, because I am skeptic, you are correct. But that's one of those things where it's just like, do your best. Give me a skeptic. Give me a hypnotist on steroids and like, let's see if they can really fucking do it. And if they can get me to like bark like a dog or some shit. Yeah. If someone, if I saw a video of a guy walking up to me and he's just, and sleep and I just slept, I'd be like, all right. I don't know. I understand. Like that's one of those things, like even when we had ozone, when I saw him do it with other people, I was like, I don't know. I think he did it with us. And I was like, what the fuck is going on? Like that's one of those situations where like, I would need to experience it. I just can't. I've seen a hypnotist, I think, once in my life. You've saw one? Like in person. I was in hypnotized. Oh, okay. It was at, it was my, like the day I moved into my college, like first year for like freshman orientation. They had like, you know, different activities and shit, blah, blah, blah. And there was a hypnotist on stage and he was doing that shit. And he was just like, and three and two, and what, and sleep and like putting people to sleep. And then he like, it was kind of weird that I think about it. He was like, to one girl, he was like, I remember she was wearing like a cardigan and she had like a spaghetti strap shirt under. And she was, and it was something along the lines of like, when you wake up, you're going to be a model and you're going to think you're on the runway. You're gonna think you're on the one where- you're going to be a model. Like everything in here, everyone here is paparazzi and up and she got up and walked it and like took her cardigan off. And I was just like, this seems nefarious. Well, yeah. Also, let's just say in the hypothetical, this is something that happens to me, it actually happens real. If I get wind that hypnotists put me to sleep and then he woke me up, and now I'm acting like a chicken in front of the school, I'm fucking you up. You're not about to make me the chicken man around here. Brother, it's a chicken better than you fucking wake up and you're missing a shirt. Yeah, but whatever it is, like bro, you're not going to make like, you're going to wake up, you're going to be a chicken, you're going to bug off, you're going to, I'll be like, bro, I'm fucking you up. You're not making me chicken man around these parts. I mean, I think I would do, I would do chicken, I would do dog, I wouldn't do cat, because cat is like, there's of course a hierarchy, but what is the difference in a cat and a dog? Well, dogs kind of, and cat, I'd have to be like, I'm like, licking myself and shit like that, cough up my hair. Yeah, like there's like cats have like a little bit more of like, sex appeal to them, and you don't want that. No, not to act like that at the age of 18 in front of my new college. Well, I just my point. Like I'm fucking, like that would be like, all right, you're a cat, and I'm just like, yeah, and like, then you just go the next four years, as like, you're everyone's calling you. There's pussy boy. Yeah, there's pussy. There's big pussy boy right there. I'm just like, I'm just like, damn, that pussy just died. That is crazy. Yeah, big pussy's dead. That was my boy too. Pussy's up though. Is it? Is it? My dad, I saw him over the weekend, and he goes, uh, hold on, just, just, just, yes, yes, yes, yes, go ahead. Yes, he goes, he goes, uh, I heard joke that you could use for your fucking life shows. Did he say fucking? Yes, lovely. And I'm like, okay, and he goes, uh, you could say you have bad luck. I'm like, all right, and he goes, and you could say, my luck is so bad. If it was raining pussy, I'd get hit in the face by a dick. I swear to God, I was like, dad, just bring me out a boat ride. Look, I don't need all this right here. My luck is so bad. If it was raining pussy, I get hit by a dick, and then the crowd would go nothing. The crowd would be like, why didn't you say that? I said to him, I said to him, I was like, dad, no one would care for that joke. Yeah, not a single, single person. This would play well with Joey's dad, and that's it. Literally. He also did one of those things where we got to talking about AI somehow. And he's like, and you know what? I hate to say it, but it's probably a fault that it Chinese. I was like, yeah, you look real torn up the fucking thing. I was like, you look really torn up to say this dad. He blamed all of AI on Chinese. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which my dad also texted me this past weekend. Unfortunately, I'm not going to say what he said. Also, Charlie, I think almost ate the fly just now. That was insane. I saw him snapping at it over there. Yeah, he's snapping at it. Oh my God. Now you're fucking with my dog. Honestly, I think whoever gets it, the other two in the room owes them five bucks. A little friendly way to say, they get a hundred bucks. Oh, yeah, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, - I'm asking me questions about our live shows and then hard transitioned into a joke that I wouldn't tell. Not that he was telling me to, he was just telling me a joke. - Oh, gotcha, gotcha. - He was like, by the way, then inserted this joke and I was like, "What do you expect me to do with that?" - Yeah, what do you mean? - I don't know where I would put that. I don't know what I would say about that. - I have no idea, but also there's a, oh, you know what, let me get to some sponsor. - Go ahead! - There's, we'll get to some sponsors. The first one being, "Hello, "why are you doing Squarespace, ladies and gentlemen?" Squarespace is gonna be a platform where you're gonna create your website. Let me get a little bit of this. You're gonna create your platform on Squarespace.com, okay? It is a lovely website where you can buy your own domains there and if you have any commerce business or retail or you may content, you're gonna wanna website 'cause this is your first stop shop and it needs to look professional because that's how people are gonna judge you. It's your first impression. If you have a professional looking website, they're gonna be like, "This person knows "what the hell they're doing." So, Squarespace is what you're gonna wanna use. This is how we build all of our websites here and they have a lot of different tools and charts and things that are gonna let you like run your business through it. They're gonna let you know where the traffic's coming from, how to optimize it perfectly. Also, they have a bunch of templates that make it very easy to build a website. So, that usually is to be the most tough part of this entire process. It would be creating the website but you can do it in just a few clicks with their templates. Populate a website, you change out the text and the photos and whatnot. You have a professional looking website in no time and right now, you can head to squarespace.com/basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain with that code basement. Again, that is squarespace.com/basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. So, go get that. We also have SeekEek. SeekEek is the number one rated ticketing app in the app store. They've been a sponsor of ours for a long time. I have used them forever. Anytime I'm buying any tickets, you see me at anything. I just want to know what kind recently. You SeekEek. I just bought tickets to a football game through SeekEek and I actually forgot to use my code, don't act like me. But, they have over 35 million downloads. They're number one rated ticketing app. Like I said, there's a lot of transparency. They have a color-coded system so you know if something's green or dark green. These are good prices for those tickets. If something's like yellow or red or orange or dark red, you're gonna wanna stay away from those. So, those are like not really fairly priced in them. Why was right there? I didn't get it. But, there's a lot of concerts. There's a lot of opportunity to go to, you know, baseball games or whatever else. Football season's coming. And if you wanna get tickets to something, you can by downloading SeekEek and you could save some money. Go download their app and use the code Basement 2026 for 10% off of your next set of tickets, okay? So that is Basement 2026 for 10% off of your next set of tickets. So go download SeekEek. Use that code, save the 10%. Have a great time. - You know what? There's so much going on. Summer's coming to an end and you might get a little bit of those post-summer blues. But guess what? The Basement Yard is here for ya. And how are we gonna cure those post-summer blues with the Patreon. Patreon.com/TheBasementYard is a subscription service we use here to get us a little early and to get a little lecture of us. Go take a gander at Patreon.com/TheBasementYard and take a look at what we got going on for there. There's a bunch of different tiers. That first tier, these weekly episodes. One whole week in advance. That's right. Oops, seven days and the episode is yours. Then that second tier, well that's where you get episodes new, exclusive, just for the Patreon's eyes only episodes every single Friday. So you can sign up for Patreon today if you've ever been a Patreon and go back and watch hundreds of hours of Basement Yard, which is there for your liking. And it's beautiful and it's fun. We wanna thank you guys. You have gotten us to over 53, 53,000 patrons, which is crazy. We are climbing our way to the top of the Patreon leader boards and it is all because of you. So thank you so much. We are very much so appreciative. - $100! - He got it. - $100! - He got it. - He got it. - I got it. - Damn it. - He got it. You only had a sacrifice to your computer. - Ah, if you did. - You had it said. - Oh no, no, no, that bit just dead. - I killed it. - That bit just so dead. - I killed an animal. I got to send him. - That bit just, oh, don't I see another one? - I thought I just saw another one honestly. - So another one, this one's disgusting though. I guess I could stop releasing them now. - Yeah, well Joey just got it. So we owe him a hundred bucks. - And also you can go over to patreon.com/patreon.com/patreon. So if you want to do it go check it out at patreon.com/thebasevinyard and sign up on a web browser. If you're just smart app, it's going to charge you a couple extra bucks. So patreon.com/thebasevinyard. And as we had said earlier, look at these new merch hats and shirts and there's so much going on over at SantaGatoStudios.com. We got new merch options that are available. So why don't you go check it out and take a look at what we got because it's beautiful. It's fun and Charlie wants you to look at it too. Right Charlie, speak for the merch. - All right, I didn't say a goddamn word. But SantaGatoStudios.com. Now if you get some of this merch and it comes in time for the new shows and you can wear it to the shows. That's right, we're back on the road. We're back doing live shows. We got some shows coming up in just a couple of weeks and we're really, really excited. And if you're coming to any of those shows just like those first two tours where we had it be interactive with the stories you submitted about the cards, kind of similar, but guess what? We're doing it with pictures this time. So go over to thebasementyard.com/submit and you could submit a picture from your camera roll and you can add some context. You could tell us what show you're coming to. You could put all that stuff in there and maybe we'll talk about it, maybe we'll pull it up. Maybe we'll talk about you too. You with you, it doesn't matter. It's fun. Some of the best moments that we've had from these shows have been when we've interacted with the people through the cards. And we're really, really excited. So go check it out at basementyard.com/submit. New Merch at SantaGottaStudios.com, and patreon.com/submit.com/submit. We're excited to get back out there. We hope you guys are too. Back to Mr. - You're fucking fly killer McGee. - Hey! - He got it, 100 dollars, baby. - I was going for like a, I was gonna trap it. You were gonna like be it still and then put it. - Bro, aren't fucking Venus fly traps the fucking coolest? I used to, I used to have one in my house. - We had one a couple years ago. - And he used to let it hold my finger. - Oh, you'd like finger a Venus fly trap? - I'd lay my finger in there and be like, "Oop, nope, it didn't hurt us because it's so little." - Yeah. - But like, bro, these things can get big too. Like they'll fucking, there's other like meat eating plants also. Like, you know the Pokemon Victory Bell? - Yeah. - That's a legit fucking thing that catches bugs and eats them. - Oh, I mean, I don't eat them. - Look up, look it up. Bug, bug catching plant. - Bug catching plants. - Look up Victory Bell real. - Victory Bell in the wild. - Oh yeah, look at that right here. - Yeah dude, look at that fucking little bitch. - Whoa. - What am I looking at? - It's like a pocket. - And they go in. - Is that an actual part of the plant? - Yeah. - They go in that little sack. - They go in that sack and in the sack is just like, you're not getting out. - Wait, that's actually part of the plant. - Yeah. - Carnivorous picture plant. - Holy shit. - That's what Victory Bell, the Pokemon, is based off of. - I mean, that's-- - 'Cause it looks like him, right? Kind of. - That has a little lid and everything. It looks like a toilet. - I don't think the lid does anything. I think the leaves are just there for like, little like, flirtiness. - By the way, did you hear about, there was a thing in like DC where there was a suspicious package? - So like, everyone's like freaking out of it. - Oh yeah, I saw this. - And then it had like, exposed wires. - Oh yeah, personally, if I'm on the street and I see something like that, I'm terrified. - Brother, I am running the opposite way. - Yeah, like if I-- - I am fucking with it. - I'm not, I would probably, I don't know if I would call the cops 'cause I would think that I would, I'm like, oh, I'm just nuts. Like, it's not anything. But exposed wire and a random thing. I'm like, yo. - Oh, I'd rather call the cops and it be nothing than not call and it is something. - Yeah, I agree. - You know? - Then I would probably feel really bad. - But it's one of those situations where like, the, like, I think I see what you're saying where it's like, if it is something, but they like want to cover it up. So they're just like, Joe Sanagato called. We gotta take him out. - Oh, I'm not thinking about that. You think it would have my adjacent born and they're gonna kill me? - I don't know, but if they like need to cover it up and they need to cover the evidence that there was this box. Hold on, I'm gonna get to this. Have you ever seen the video of the dude on the beach? There's two guys on a beach, right? And there's this giant thing. It kind of looks like a missile. And there was another guy came over his phone and one of them's got a computer. And he's like, come on, man, don't do that. And he's like, what, it's a public beach. I could film it. And he's like, stop, you're gonna get me in trouble. - So you were looking up videos of guys missiles on beaches? - Did you hear what I said? (laughs) - I support you fully, by the way. - Doing what? - If that's what your search history includes. - Guys, missiles on beaches? - And can you find this video? - I've been trying. - Guys rocket on beach. - Don't change the name. - I don't know why. - Guys on beach, one of them has a rocket. The other one's saying, let's look at it. - Put it. - One of them. - I feel like if you were in that situation, you would shit your pants. - Brother. - Yeah. - I mean, first of all, I would like look around and think like, am I getting pranked? Because that's some like fucking pranked, like punked shit. - They made it seem like it was like a government thing that no one's supposed to know about. And this guy's walking out with a cell phone. - But if that's the case, how could someone on a beach just walk up? - Well, I think I like washed up by accident. - There would be like more like intervention. - See shit. - There would be like more intervention and the guy would just be like, see, look at that. What the fuck is that? - Just like that. - The public beach, dude. The public beach. - I understand it's a public beach and I can't stop you, but now I have to explain it to my boss. - Honestly, let me ask you a question. - That's not a missile. That's like a submarine missile. - I know what that is. If you see that on a beach. - Yeah. - And the guy asks you, please don't record. - Yeah. - I'm not fucking recording, dude. - I'm not getting near it. I'm gonna fix it. - I am explosive. - Brother, I am not, well, the guy was near it. So the chances are that if he feels safe to be near it, it's okay. But the guy is asking, hey man, don't record this. I'll be like, yes, sir. - No problem. - Suspicious guy with a laptop on a beach fully clothed. - Yeah. - Yeah, he's got his laptop out too. He's like connecting to the thing. I'm good. - This is you would be that guy. - No, sir, I am here. This is gonna be great. - It wouldn't be that intense, but it's gonna be a good clip. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. The internet's gonna get a kick out of this. - Yeah, I don't know. The despair in his voice of, come on man, that would probably get me. But it also has a laptop and plaid. I'm like, all right, we're at the beach. - So come on man, I'm gonna have to explain this to my boss. - Yeah, I'm like, he's already in trouble. The thing washed up on the shore. - Brother, in that situation, I'm just like, you know what, you're right. I don't understand, like, in that situation. And I get it, people are just like, we need to like, you know, make sure, like, we see the government's trying to hide and shit like that. I can only imagine the conspiracy theories I came out of that, yeah. - Guys, just trying to do his job. One of his little drones, water drones, washes up on the beach. Now some guy's gonna send it to his boss. He's like, come on, you know what I'm saying? - But I get it. If that's my job to like, use that thing. Let's say it's used for like, sonar mapping of like the ocean floor or something like that. If it washes up on the beach, why am I in trouble? - I have no idea. - I don't know how to answer. - Well, that's the thing. It's kind of like, why are you gonna get in trouble? I'm just looking at who cares. - Yeah, there's like, I'm just thinking, what's it, what am I gonna look at? - I'm taking a look. If anything, if that guy with the laptop, he can program that thing to grow legs and fucking come rip my head off. - The way your mind works sometimes is interesting. - Do you like it? - I do think that like, I do think that you would panic, like I mean, in the way that you just did, of being like, you would go home that day and be like, we weren't supposed to see that. - Well, no, and then you'd be like looking out the window. - If I'll be really honest, if I was alone, I'd be a little more curious. If I'm with Becca and the kids, I'm like, this is like, you guys, stay back. We don't know what this is, you know what I mean? Like, I'm a little more inclined to be protective of them. - But would you think that because you saw it, they're coming for you? - Yes. Yes, 100%. - Frankie saw it. - So, Frankie saw a van on the street, it's all over. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, dude, I am fully becoming that person where there's just a random car parked on the street. If it's there for more than like three days, the cops are getting called. I mean, who the cops? Are you gonna go over and like look, I mean, I'm not saying like the cops are getting called, get them in trouble, but just like, hey, there's just a random car that is out of place, parked on the street. I don't think that's outrageous. 'Cause there's not a lot of, like, you're in a suburban area. - Yeah. - So a random, like a van, like a white van? - It, bro, if there was just a car. - Bro, I mean, it would depend on the type of van or car that it was. - What does that mean? Like, if it was like a broken down white van, I'd be like, what's going on here? - Right. - If it was just like a Toyota Camry. I mean, after, it would probably be the same reaction, but after a couple extra days. - Right. - You know, just, and simply because I'd just be like, oh, that's just abnormal. Like, I don't know who's car that is. Is that anyone's car here? No. Yeah, I think that's crazy. Is that nice? - It was a white van in front of my house for like a week and a half. We called, nothing was done about it. Yeah, eventually they showed up and moved it. - Well, dude, when I used to work for Target, there were like, when we would close the store, we would close the store and we would have to do like a patrol around the building. So like, I literally would lock the store on this security system, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then I would get in my car and I would drive around the building. And there were times where there were, 'cause some states and some stores allow people to camp overnight in their parking lots. Like, I think Walmart's like that. Maybe some more of the sporting good stores like Dix or fucking, you know, Bass Pro Shops. But Target, at least when I was there and the one that I was at, they wouldn't allow it. And I would have to call the cops and I would have to sit there and wait for them. And there were times where it would take them like an hour and a half. So I, it would just add an extra hour and a half onto my evening. - You. - Which sucks. - It feels like someone else's problem kind of thing. - It was by definition my problem. - I remember the only other time that's ever happened was like, there was a guy parked outside my mom's house or maybe he was like walking by a lot and they kept noticing him. And like, not that I'm this big brave person but I'm more of like, I just need to know. I hate not knowing. So I had to go out and be like, do you need something? Like what is, why do you keep walking by? I can't remember if he was walking by or if he was just like in his car staring at the house or something. And I was like, do you need something or whatever? And the guy wasn't really like coherent. I'm like, oh, he might be nuts. - Do you remember when we were playing Man Hunt near St. Francis and an old man was driving down the wrong way, the street like five times? - No. - Yeah, there was like one night we were playing. It was night in the summer. It must have been like 2005, 2006. And just like an older car was just driving. Like we saw it the first time. We were like, what the fuck? And then the second time we noticed it was like an elderly man. And it happened like three or four more of the time. And I think after the third time we were like, we should probably call the cops. And we did, but I couldn't tell you if anything came of it. But like the elderly sometimes did I ever tell you there used to be a guy on my block they would come outside and make it Do you remember crazy Tony? Well, yeah, but this guy lived on my block really. Yeah, he lived He lived on the opposite side of the street and I kind of up the block But sometimes he would come outside and he would just be full Cocked to the wind that seems like a the parents on that block would beat the brakes office There wasn't a lot of kids like we all lived next door to each other because he was just like rich There were a lot of kids there were mad kids on your block. It was rich in in Renee and And then the the person next to you that their grandmother's house Then she wasn't there a lot of the time Well, yeah, at the top of the block were like on our block It was just that actually there was other kids in the middle of the block too, but yeah, they that person That dude or whatever. I don't know if it was just like he was senile. He had something. Oh, it was an old bag He was he was old. Yeah, but he would come out. What? What's up? How big was his winner? I don't I tried to not think about it. Did he have shoes on If you remember that if you remember that I feel like that makes it deliberate. Yeah, yeah And also the the the ice cream truck would stop in front of this man's house So it's how we get ice cream we'd be like hurry up because it was always a one house on the block that everyone was just like Stay the fuck away from that house. There's there's a there was also a house across from mine the corner Where we would be like it's gone on in there. I was like kind of like a I remember it was next door to Renee Yeah, yeah, it was like kind of a mystery house. You kind of like the fuck's going on. Yeah, I remember that There was always one of the every neighborhood has that one house or everyone walks by and there's like what the fuck? What was our haunted like house Well, the sideway mansion. Oh, right. The sideway mansion was a big one There was so many rumors about that. I was like there's like guard dogs. You gotta guard through I mean we went we went once I don't know if you were there with us, but like we like went we like Jumped defense and like looked around and got the fuck out of there really quick. I've driven past there I'm like, what the fuck? Well, there was that there was the the one that we in a recent episode talked about on the corner of the longest block There was one on my street that always had like just an old man who walked his like intense German shepherd with two hands like this And he was just an old fucker And there was another do you remember the other person on my block? There was another person on the block that like I don't know if they had some form of like Just figument or something like that and like everyone like was like stay away from them because this was the 90s when like if someone Looked different. It was like oh my god. They might be evil. I actually don't remember that at all. Yeah, yeah, there was I don't remember that Yeah, I'm not gonna start saying names, but that's great Yeah, yeah, but though every every neighborhood had their urban legends. Yeah, I mean, I remember we had we were told that in our alleyway there was vampires Who told you that one of the bigger kids on the out and like the block there was vampires. Yeah, they would say like at night The vampires come out in the alleyway and I remember I'd get so scared being in the alleyway We didn't really hang out in your alleyway though. Not that often. We only got a good amount in the alleyway. There was Uh, I played a lot of spud in my alleyway. You know what spud is the fucking spot. You play spud to potato That's not it. Oh, no, you know the spot. I don't think so maybe it was like it was kind of a cool game We called the spot where like I would have a ball right and I'm it and then it'd be like a group of you So like you two guys and then someone else and I'd give a category And then I'd say like all right cars and then you guys would like kind of Pick cars and then one person would be the spokesman. They were like all right, so we have Honda Fucking Mercedes and Lamborghini and I'd be like okay And then I would say the name of the car that I choose and throw the balls high as I could in the air and then whoever's Car I said they had to grab the ball and say spud and then they could take three big steps And you have to try and hit someone with the ball. That sounds so fun. It was a great game That does sound fun. That was a joke. We would play it in my alleyway. Do you remember smokey? Do you remember little dog smokey? I don't remember little dog smokey. There was a little dog smokey That was in the alleyway behind us. This dog was this big Bit my sister's ankle. She this bitch was bleeding everywhere. What? It's someone else's ankle. Yeah, like a crazy dog. It was like the sand lot time to put down old smokey The dog was older as it is. I'm sure it's dead and gone at this point and absolutely decomposed If this dog was old then and lived another 25 years Jesus Christ. Yeah, we would lose balls in that yard and then it'd be like yeah the bravest one Which was never me. It was someone had to oh, I was gonna say it would probably be key. Well someone apparently one time was shenanin in the I got her fucking ankle. Yeah And there was always yes every neighborhood had it's like scary haunted house It's urban legend and then the dogs dog or like animal that like people were just like yo Don't fuck with that one dude. Did you ever have like an older woman in your in in like on your block or something? That was like a witch. Oh, that you like was probably just a really nice woman But she was old and you're a child and you're like nope. She's haunted. Well, that was the person I told you about that had the like Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She was an older woman. Oh and like I I said it was I know I felt I mean It's not like we like ever did anything because we were afraid of being hexed right you know like we were never like mean to her But I remember I would always see her and people were just like yo be careful. Yeah, and it was but I remember we had because Because we grew up in a time and I don't know if your block was like this but my block my grandmother There was like eight houses in a row that she was like boys with all of the people. Yeah Like all the grandparents were like Fucking mad cool. They played cards. They'd go to diners. They fucking you know like all that shit and Every house it was like you like you knew different gossip about like those houses. Yeah, like oh that's sante and you know Sante he smokes a lot and he hasn't been the same since World War two Yeah, and then over there that's Eric Eric's the piece of shit on the block like there was always his son is an asshole Yeah, like there was always shit like that because like It was much more like it was the people that bought the house lived there their entire lives and there was There was more like community back then how yeah, there was yeah, we're becoming those people what yeah, yeah Um, I'm watching it question for you. Sure. Did I ever tell you about my recitals? My piano recitals. I don't believe so because I was talking about this recently Nicole and she was like Because what I remember because I came to a couple of your recitals I've I played piano. I had a piano teacher the little bit of the block from me. It was like oh go ahead She like she would teach me piano and then like she would say that We're gonna do a recital like at a certain amount of time It definitely wasn't like a year, but there was this recital that we would do and she was a performer when she was younger and I would literally this was weird dude. It was now that I think about it. It was weird my so the recital was I was supposed to be this event right and my dad worked construction. So he had this spotlight Like you know those lights that you clip on to shit. So it was just one bulb So he had like a spotlight and she would start at the top of the stairs. Yeah And we'd be like okay, it's starting and like mind you the people in the crowd are him and then my grandma and her friends It was like a community thing. I remember like neighbors came sometimes sometimes, but it was mostly like very Old people that I like knew because they were my grandma's friends from church. Yep And they would show up to my piano recital and and she'd come down the stairs and my dad would follow her with the With the light and then I'd start playing piano And then after I played a couple songs she would open up this giant case and do double puppets. Yo, yes She do vang trill acquisition and sing and sing yo, but like not just like You know like he'd be playing like you know hot cross buns and she'd be like hot cross buns. It was like Hot like she fucking yeah belted dude. She also would just play like I would play like because I this is my first year playing piano I'm like fucking 10 years old and I'm like doing it and it would be like normal But then she would get on and she's fucking out John. Yo, she fucking this was her moment to shine Exactly this was her fucking show and it was the same and then she would do ventrilo because like And she basically you paid her to put on a show in your house. Yes, and yo, I remember that and then one day Gone drop dead like had a heart attack. Well, so I can tell by your voice you're guessing No, I remember that no, no, yeah, but like she did die. I also remember her house because she lived up the blocks from me Dude like they were like I know we're getting really A story was either like townhouses that were all smushed together or just like a random Beautiful house. Yeah like old like out of a fucking front yard backyard side yard yo and like with like Rose bushes that lined the front and arbor vides and like you know like hydrangeas There's like out of nowhere Yeah, and like yo, she lived in one of those and I remember she had like French doors in the front I was like a son room. There's no one this bitch must be famous because she's fucking She's going and she's working the she's working the crowd at Joey's place She was like a child Broadway something. I don't know, but she was like a very nice woman. She she was very religious And she yeah, she did live in that house You know, it's funny. I was just talking about this too. I don't know if I was talking about with you guys or not But you ever see like at the top of houses when they have circular windows. Yeah, we were talking about oh Yeah, I don't know you always feel like there's a monster Like you're gonna see she had those Yes, she did at the top of her house It was it had those like looked up to see like if she was like telling the truth about being a child star My parents like know that oh like your mom could point to and yeah, I remember her Yeah, like they they knew her because she was also Shannon's piano teacher. I don't want to let her name rip, but it was. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right. I mean, I don't know that anyone could figure out who's Angela. Yeah. And you guys called her Miss Angela. Miss Angela. Yeah. I think it's super sweet that she got to relive that with you. She did it a bunch. Yeah. She did it with Shannon too. Like she had those, that's four recitals right there because we both did it, I think, for a couple of years, like two years. So that's at least four recitals. Frank is about to run at home. I don't know if that's as sweet as like, no, she got, you got to help her live that. Like, using a child in that way. Like, I mean, I was putting on shows strange. Yeah. But you were like, and she fucking double puppet it. Like, who does she think was going to be in the crowd? Like, fucking, you know, like an agent. I think that, I think that she also, one of the dolls, I wish I remember the names. I guarantee you my mom remembers, like, knows the names, but I don't remember the dogs. One that had like a top hat and he would talk and his top hat would raise in the air. Wait, so she wasn't just like doing like, hey, how you doing? I'm doing well. It was like full on ventriloquism. He's a legitimate dolls that, like, were made more. I remember the, I remember the dolls. She would be like, oh, go, go, go. She'd be talking like that. Oh, it's really cool. Yeah, like, you know, shit like that. It wasn't like hand puppet. It was like, there was a whole mechanical thing going on. It was impressive. And then Jeff Dunham did it. And now, yeah, yeah, he did, he did race us once a day. He did race us once and now it's, now everyone hates fucking wooden dummies. Now we don't like it anymore. But back then, it was poppin, man. Yeah. No, the kids are in, they take piano right now. Miles and Ruby, but they're not doing anything like that. They're not putting on a recital. They're not putting on recitals, but he got no puppets. No puppets, dude. Honestly, for the free price of nothing, that was a pretty good show. It's funny. You put, you, like, when you look at it at its core, you just paid this woman to just give a show in your house. And like, you guys learned, like, a couple piano songs. I actually think that I was in it for a while. I did it for two years. So I did, like, learn a lot from her. But, and I remember it being like super cheap. Like, my mom would try to pay her more. Well, that was the 90s brother. It was probably like, you know, $10 a month. I don't even remember how often she came to be honest with you. My mom would know more. Yeah, I wouldn't. My dad too, but trying to think of one of my friend's brothers was like, eight, and my friend invited me to his recital. And that was happening. I think that'd be sick. Like, well, I didn't expect this at all. And then you'd be like, what a fucking puppet. Yeah, she was huge. Yeah. And then you'd stay up and go rip black coffees at the local diner. Oh God, talk about it over a fucking hot cup of Joe. It was definitely not black. Man, that was, that was something cheers to the, you know, our Java. Yeah. We also have some more sponsors here. We have Kachava. Ladies and gentlemen. Kachava right here. I actually love the way that landed. That was amazing. 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There was a couple of years ago where I used DoorDash to send my mom flowers on Mother's Day. So whenever things like that sort of pop up, I'll use something like DoorDash, you know, send my mom not only some flowers, but I could send her some chocolate and things like that. But there's a bunch of different ways that you can kind of use this. But, you know, even for your friends, it's nice to be nice to your friends. So, you know, send them something. If someone's down in the dumps, you could send them something nice using DoorDash. And you could also use it for your own personal use as well. Obviously, you can, you know, get some food or whatever, a little drink, a little drinky poo, something like that, whatever it is. But yeah, go check out DoorDash, make showing up for people you love easy. But yeah, go demo DoorDash and enjoy what they have to offer there, ladies and gentlemen. I have a question for you because I saw. Hold on real quick, I just realized we brought up this suspicious thing and never talked about what it was. We don't need it. I mean, it wasn't anything damaging to anyone. It didn't harm anyone. Yeah. Well, what it ended up being, so what Joey was referencing was earlier in the episode. He mentioned cops were called and like blocks were shut down for a suspicious. That beat the fuck off. That's a tough word to say quickly. Suspicious. Got it. Suspicious. Yeah. Why are you looking up suspicious? Oh, is that a picture of it? Wait, zoom in on it. And Hans? And Hans? Well, there it is, right there, ladies and gentlemen, apparently that was an adult toy. An adult toy, which is just code for your winner. Well, yeah, so I think the thing that I saw that said that it was like a penis pump. It was a pump? It was a penis pump. Bro, if I spent also $350, why are we putting the price out there? You know what you're doing. Second of all, this fucking really cool looking thing is only $350 and it's, and it got it. Is this like a marketing thing? What is the item? Bro, look at how the guy is dressed. Imagine you have to get up and go to work thinking it's a bomb. I mean, that guy made easy money that day. Yeah. That guy made easy money. Imagine the call to his partner before, or maybe it's a woman, like the call to their partner beforehand. Just like, I love you. I might not make it. Yeah, yeah. Might not make it today. There's something on the street in DC. It's crazy out there and then you get there and it's just a fucking sex toy. Top comment. It's a device that definitely makes people explode, all right? Apparently it's like a pump. It's like a penis pump. Why are you saying that? Like I would understand what that is. You started doing a hand. I was doing, I was doing Joe Biden. Pump, pump, pump, pump, pump. Oh, I thought you were like, oh, I'll tell you what, it's a Zolo Blowbot. I mean, you got pulled up. Hold up. Hold up. Hold up. What is it? You got to look for it. It's a, you got to Google it out, brother. A Zolo Blowbot. Let's see the Zolo Blowbot. First of all, say that five times fast. Zolo Blowbot. Zolo Blowbot. Zolo Blowbot. Are you sure? Zolo Blowbot. Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Like I said, I'm going to hit enter. Yeah, well, let's see what happens. Zolo. Okay. Hold on. It's a lot of like, first of all, we're not going to put any of this on screen because it's a, actually, you could put that on screen. This looks like Tony Stark's forearm. I literally was going to say it looks like a needler. Halo. This thing, 100% was a weapon in Halo. I saw the inside for a second. Did you? It looks how you imagine. I mean, it's not going on. Like a flesh. Yeah. Nice. Oh, it's like, so it's like, it's just a Zolo. Oh, it's an automatic beach machine. A B machine. It's a, it's a, yeah, it's a blow machine. That's very complicated. I mean, brother, if you need all that, I mean, you know what, I would feel weird about this. Like I'm just like, now I'm having sex with humidifiers. Yeah. If I saw this thing, I would be worrying about like the, you know, how many breakers I need to turn off to make sure this doesn't blow the other ones and something like that. If my fridge goes out because of this thing, I have a big problem. Yeah. And where do you store that? Do you need like a dedicated, like, charging station? This looks like this comes with like a Tesla. It looks like you would put it next to like the swiffer. It's only a matter of time before Tesla starts offering this in like under their hood, where they're just like, listen, and now you can have sex with the tailpipe. I feel like I wouldn't trust anything that has to be plugged into the wall during no shot, during use. Everything short circuits. The AC in here every two days. I mean, what would be the worst that happened to just short circuits? Oh, like it fucking like just shot. - Is that your wine? - Zaps, yeah. - Oh, I didn't even think of that. - What were you thinking of? - I was thinking like it would like blow up on your, on your pink-- - That too. - What if it explodes in my winter? - Mid-coitus. - That's a lot, brother. - Happens. - Wait, I have a question, though. You buy a piece of machinery like this and it does what it does and you just leave it on the street like that? - Also, honestly, you know what, now that I'm thinking about it, calling the bomb squad probably was the right move because I wouldn't touch this thing. This is a hazmat. - Someone needs a suit. So someone needs a suit to pick this thing up. - Also, they can trace it back now. - Trace it back with that-- - Like they could, put it if they'd give it to a lab. - Oh, so they could say like, hey, let's figure out who put this biological material on the side of the street. - That's gotta be a least. - I mean, but then you gotta hope that whoever's DNA is in there is in the system as it is. Just because they get DNA doesn't mean they have to have previously have gotten the DNA. - That's true. - So like, they could get it and they could just be like, uh, a Zolo Blowbot. - Good name. - It's just like a-- - Blowbot's cra-- - I guess it's on the nose a little bit. - It is, it is, I mean, what would you call it? - Oh no, I think it fits. I like it. - Oh, so it fits, like a glove. - Yeah, for $350, I will tell you this, $350. That thing better do everything and then some. - Oh, okay. - They're better be an arm that comes in. - Well, no, like that's a lot of money, dude. - Let's actually think about this actually. A blowbot, it's in the name, $350 in the name. - Is it crazy? Is that reasonably priced? - I don't know. What were you calling? - Is this the offices of Zolo? - Yeah, Zolo. - I could never, I could never. This is me giving up on my whole life if I did that. I mean, if they figure out, if they figure out that it was yours. - Oh no, that's a wrap. - What are you talking about? - It's about like actually having one, I'm joking. - Oh, yeah. Do you remember years and years and years ago? We talked about it on like one of the first episodes we did, but there's that like famous picture of Megan trainer and her husband and they're like walking out of somewhere with plastic bags and you could see through the plastic bags and appears that they have and abundance of dilds of sex toys. I'm not like judging, but like the point that I'm making, no, I'm not, but the point that I'm making, that's not judging. The point I'm making is that getting photograph doing that is an invasion of privacy. - Sure. - You know, like that's a little intense. You have to, I would be embarrassed if that photograph was taken of me. - You shouldn't know that about people. You got your drawer, you open it up, it's a two handed drawer, you open it up and there's just like, are you telling us now where your blowbots are? - I don't have any blowbots. I don't even have a sex toy drawer. - Maybe one day? - You never know. - Well, you will be buying a house in the next couple of years. I imagine you're gonna have a fucking dungeon. - I'm giving you the tour and I'm like, check this out and I move a book and then it's just dildos. (laughing) Blowbots and dildos and all that stuff. - I mean, I'm sure something like that exists. - Like that people have that. - The whole thing in the-- - Dungeons. - Those are real. - Fucking 50 shades, that's the thing. - Yeah, yeah, dungeons. - He opens a door and then it's just like, you know, like I'm Christian or whatever his name is. Christian Gray, that's what it is. - Yeah. - And then he just like, look at my room and it's just like a room of chains and whips, like flogs. What's a flog? - It's like a whip kind of. - Oh, I thought you meant like, he's gonna-- - At first I heard vlog and I was like, then he's vlogging the thing. Like he's saying like-- - What's up gamers? Sam is my dungeon. (laughing) - It's me, C. Gray, back to show you guys. The chains I got this week. - Today we're spanking this poor little girl. - Disgusting. - Absolutely fucking disgusting. Call, call. - I was horrendous. - Dial 911. - Yeah. - I'll tell them that you're here. - Good lord in heaven. - But yeah, it was a sex toy. It was a sex toy that they found. Here's a serious question. Can a city like Sue someone for something like that? 'Cause that's a lot of resources to dispatch for something. - I think they're the air on the side of caution. Who the hell are you? I think they air on the side of caution. And it's not really your fault. I mean, if you're like yo, my bad. I put it down and I forgot. - I mean, that doesn't mean that they can't still sue you for it. Like you still like, that's it. Like if there's something-- - Why would they sue? - Misappropriating like resources and stuff like that. - They're sue me for calling? - No, no, no, no, whoever. If they find out like if they look underneath and they see the tape and it says Jason Agatto. - It says Andy on the bottle. - Yeah. Like if they see that and they're just like, whoa, okay. I would assume no 'cause you're allowed to misplace things. Although that seeing the outdoors is outrageous. That feels like an indoor toy. - Yeah. - I don't know that I would-- - Let me be clear. - I'm pretty sure all toys are indoor toys. - Correct. That one being on the sidewalk near the street for why? - Yeah, whoever put that, put it like this. That being there is bad because they had a get rid of it and quickly. - Unless it was like you're on your way to something and you put it down, like you know, some people put their coffee and they forget on top of their hood. - I think relating the zolo blow bot to a cup of coffee is significantly different. - Yeah, you would never forget your blow bot. - And also you would be like, huh, I feel maybe 50 pounds lighter. That thing looks fucking massive. - Well, yeah, I mean. - I put coffee in the trunk of my car and then I got in and I opened it and it fell all over. And I don't think I've ever called myself more names than in that moment. - Which names? Same all right now. - Bad bad names. - Same all I've ever said. - Bad bad names. - Bad bad names. - You were a bad little car. - I really wanted the car. - You brought yourself to your dungeon and you had yourself a day with you. All right. - If you did have a sex dungeon, talk to me about the lighting. - Oh, good question. - I don't even know how to answer that. How do you-- - Color? - Moody. - I don't even know. I've never given any thought to that. - Just freestyle. - Well? - Well lit? - Yeah, I am like a doctor's office. - No, that's well lit. - No, there is a well? - Yes, Anne. - That's what I meant. - In the middle. - There's a well. - There's a well. - It's like, oh, you wanna be trapped in there. - I can fucking, like, I'm Buffalo Bill. (laughing) - I lower down a basket and just like, put the lotion on, it's skinned. - What the fuck, what are you doing? What would yours be like? - I would think like a dark moody, like a maroon. - Everything's maroon. - So big. - So big. - Basically, you know what I mean? - Basically how like most homes and like the mid-2000s were painted. Like the outside would be stucco. I imagine it would be like what I imagine Ozzy Osborne's basement looked like at one point. - Google Ozzy Osborne's basement. - Or like Bam Margera's basement. That's probably the one. - That's probably what you're going for, Joey. - But it'd be a lot of deep purples and maroons. - Yeah, yeah, and like blacks. Like the floor's blacked up. - Oh, I feel like more stuff would show on the floor. - No, no, no. - I'm getting nothing on. - It's just pictures of Ozzy Osborne. - Which is not, not at all books. - That's a lot of books. - I don't know how we would just get pictures of this basement. - I mean, I tried. - Look up, look up. - It's not gonna show up. - Look at Bam Margera's basement. - But why do you think there's just pictures of people's beds? - First of all, Bam Margera had full seasons of shows in that fucking place. - Did he? - You don't remember Viva La Bale? - Oh, actually, we're getting there. - See? I told you. - What is that on the wall? - Oh, you know what? You would have to have a logo that is like kind of demonic. - Yeah, like the, I don't know about demonic. - Well, say Tannic? - No, I don't, definitely don't know about that one. I mean, this purple jar looks really good. - What is? - Some glass stuff. - They would have to be glass and rot iron. - Rot iron, yeah. - You rot iron like wall sconces. - You know? - A big wood pillar is pretty good. - Yeah, and it's got like, it's chipped in it. - And y'all. - Like there's, like there's been mark marks. - Yeah. - Oh no, that's actually kind of dark. - Yeah. - You know what Frankie, I apologize. We did get to see Bam Margera's basement. - First of all, that might have been his bedroom, but-- - We don't know. - Close, close enough. - I mean, I don't know the layout of Castle Bam. - Castle Bam. - That was a good show. You don't remember Viva LeBam? - That's a show. - Castle Bam? - Viva LeBam. - I remember Viva LeBam. - It was, it was, it took place at Castle Bam. - Oh, yeah. - I didn't realize how like bought into Jackass, you were until like a month later. - Yeah. - I tried showing Becca the newest one the other day. And I, she's like, this just isn't for me. - Yeah. - And I was like, yeah, I get that, you know? But then she, like, she was just like, you watch it for me. - No. - Would you watch? - And these guys shitting on them. - Well, that's, I mean, I, I joked with her earlier that day. I was just like, how much do you love me? She's like, endless. I was like, you'll do anything for me. And she's like, yeah. And like that question obviously, - Oh, so there's something that's getting teed up. - It's a trap. - And I was like, all right. Will you watch something with me tonight? And she's like, sure. Yeah, what do you want to watch? And I, that's when I, you know what I said? Like the new Jackass is out on, on premium video on demand rental. And she was like, I just got attacked by another fucking fly. He's getting, he's coming back for his boy. Well, he's going to get the same treatment. I wouldn't have set the 50 bucks if we could get even. - Who? Can you never know? There she blows, Frank. - Okay, Frank, we need to, Frank. Please don't. - We know it's a bit. - Didn't get it. My dead grandmother would have gotten out of the way of that. But she was like, okay, we watched it and she got like, like three segments in and she was just like, she's like, you have to understand this is not for me. And then she went one step further, she's like, I also don't know how this is for you. - Right. - Well, that's that, yeah. 'Cause she's like, they're like talking about like, they're like shitting in and around each other. - It is not, it's like not you. - It's the most not me thing that I think that I enjoy. - Right, you know? - And then it turns out. - What is it about it that like draws you in? - I just think like the camaraderie and like, it's just, there's nothing like mean about it. It's just guys just having fun. And it kind of reminds us to a very minor degree, like how our friend group was growing up. Like we would do like little like joking, like sack taps and pranks and gags. - To be fair, it is very pranky. - Yeah. - So you like pranks, so maybe that's where it is. - But then there'll be one where they're like, let's throw up on your pool. - Where, you know, clear suits, sweat suits and fucking crap in them while we play a game, you know what I mean? - Exactly. - That is not like me. - Do you skip through those or you will watch 'em? - I watch 'em, it gets me though. It gets, I gag 100%. - But it makes you laugh. - Of course it does because it's just like, what the fuck is this? You never watch something and just be like, this is so insane that like the fact that it exists is. - Well, yes, I do, but it's hard to imagine you 'cause I feel like if aunt farted right now, you'd be like, you fucking disgusting fuck, but then you're watch two guys shitting ass. - I'll be honest, if I was in the room, I wouldn't be as pumped, but like, if I saw it like through a screen and I didn't have to fucking like, smell this new shit is pants, then like, I'm on board. - But you like, in fact, like, oh, you know, it stinks and it's disgusting, but they're friends. - They're having a good time. - I just like, it really is like, it's not like, this is such a weird thing to think this deeply about, but like, it's just enjoying, like people are just enjoying themselves. Like, there's nothing about it that they're like trying to like, you know, be like edgy, you know, like we're just like, we're gonna say, we're gonna use, we're gonna bring back certain slurs because who cares, you don't take them from us. They're like, they're just having a fun time. - Can't get each other as the balls, can't get you. - Yeah, and I just have a soft spot for it. I don't know why. - She's got a soft spot again, run over a bottle of water. - I can imagine you don't watch that shit because. - Back in the day, we had a YouTube series called dumbass. We did all jackass stuff. - Really? - Is it still up? - No. - How old are you? - Ooh, it was before high school, like seventh grade. - So we all went through that, I guess. - Oh yeah, and that's the other thing is like, it was the, like earliest part of us doing videos was doing jackass stunts and stuff like that. - You know what I just thought of? I'm saying like, oh, we all did that. His, we're on YouTube. ours was on cassette tapes. - Yeah, it just grows, right? - Got 1,500 views, we thought we were famous. - Bro, that's a fuck ton. - I know. - That is. - Do you have access to any of these videos anymore? - No, a culprit deleted the whole channel to save his image going into high school. - Who? - A culprit. - A culprit. - Who was the, yeah, yeah, yeah, I wonder. (laughs) - Yeah, I wonder who this is. - Only to throw it away again. - As he sits in reminences with a black coffee and a cigarette. - He cruising me at the diner. - I would never. - What were some of the stunts you guys did? - We had people on pegs, on a bike, bike pegs, and we would peddle them into like just metal beams. - We did a lot of that, that was Keith. - Yeah, yeah. - Keith was the bush diver and the like jumping into stuff guy. - The things that were like really dangerous. Keith would be like, sure. - We played a thing called box dodge ball where we just duct taped boxes with heavy stuff. And then we just tossed boxes at each other. - Do you remember me said, this is so bad. - I don't even know how to do it. - We gotta do it now. - The first thing you cross, I used to do it as a Keith 'cause it was Jackass. - With, yeah. - I think I can see it across with our legs spread open like this and just pack socks all into each other and then just throw them across the room at each other's balls. - We did it with tennis balls, my brothers and I. - That's fine, it happens. I think it's part of growing up. - But like the first videos that we did were like the drop kick, you know, the one where I walked across the street and crutches. - Yeah. - Just like that, it was such a, like, it was such a cultural event. - Bro, one time. One time, me and Keith were playing that game where we just sat across each other and threw socks like at each other's balls. And I guess I like pissed him off in some way that I threw it really hard, like too hard 'cause you're supposed to loft it. And I threw it and it hit him and he got so mad that he turned around and punched the dresser and then the dresser fell down on him. Yo, my mom came upstairs. And like, we're too young to be able to pick it up. Yo, she, imagine trying to explain how that happened. - That is scary, you know, like that is scary. Like people, like kids get hurt like that. - I don't know, we were almost doable. - You know, that is legitimate. I was like, oh my God, I just killed my brother. Dude, I mean, those are, they're just fun. And like, it's just, like, there's something about it that's heartwarming and endearing, you know? - Good old friends. - And then there are parts of it that I was just fucking discussing and was like, oh my God, yeah. - Yeah, we never did any bodily stuff. - You're the gagger of the group. So I imagine that that's crazy. - That's crazy. - You can't watch those and not gag. - Did we do any like eating things now? I don't think so. - We've done more of them over the last five years that we've ever done when we were kids. - We also did less jackass and more like sketch too. We definitely did jackass yet. But we would do like sketches. - I remember one that we did was like, at the time what we thought was a hot pepper. It was like a pepper and chini from like, a portabello fucking, like a portabello house salad. And we were like, holy fuck, holy fuck, we're gonna fucking bite this fucking thing. And we were like bite it and like we were dying basically. - Yeah. - You know, but holy fuck, holy fuck. - You guys did videos like called The Keith or something, right? - Those are movies. - Yeah, we did movies called The Nick with our friend Nick. - Well, that's close. - Jesus Christ. - It's not that close. - I'm just saying, like I don't know. It's as close as you're gonna get. - Yeah, like you better chill out. - That's as close as you're gonna get. Ars was really good though because it actually stood for something. - Yeah. - Ars was called Keith and it was an acronym and it was a horror movie where Keith kills everyone and Keith stands for Kill Everyone in the House. - That's really good. - Yeah. - Good for you guys. - Ars was just our friend, his name. - And you watched it, you'd be like well, and we recorded it on the thing that it wasn't editing. It was just like you had to keep stop, record stop. If you like fucked up a take, you had to reverse or rewind to a spot and then start again and it made sense. - We, the one that is gone, period, gone forever. - Yeah, I can't find it. - Two is in your possession or Dylan's possession. - I think I have it. - Please find it. Please. - I think I have it. Please. - And then I have the third one. I have the third one on my laptop. - Yeah. - And I'll bring it in and show it to you. - I wish I found it. - I remember one where we duct taped Danny to a gaming chair, like his hands and his forehead to a pole, and we just got the big Nerf Gatlin guns and just-- (laughing) - Because when we were kids, when Keith would come around everyone, or when he did something and football or something, everyone would go, Keith, so they extended. So Keith, kill everyone in the house, was the first one. The second one was Keith, two E's, kill everyone else in the house. That's funny. - The third one was K3. - Okay. - It was K3. - And NLT, he like walks off in the end. - Yeah, he like walks. And then you hear Frankie in the background going, "But he'll be back." - Yeah. - Like that. - Well, it was like, we tried to add a story where it was like, he's like-- - There was an arc. - He's killing people because he was bullied. - Right. - And he's getting the revenge on the bullyers. - Well, that was the last movie. Oh my god, I just remember that. There's a scene where we focused in on his eyes, and we're slowly backing up or we're slowly zooming in. And a bunch of people were just stepping on his head. - Yeah, we're like stomping him out in the backyard and like screaming things at him. - This was a good arc. - Like his backstory? - Yeah, yeah. - Like it was a flashback. - Oh, honestly? - The arc is not bad 'cause it was first, it was like, this guy's just killing everyone. But then the third one, we're like, wait, he's a victim. - Yeah, yeah. I don't know, he's killing everyone. And then he walks off because he's killed everyone. - Yeah, it was, it was something. And it was for my, so the first one was for this kid, his film class. Second one was for my film class, won all the awards. Joey came in to watch it. - Yeah, I just walked into his school and sat in his foot in class. - Into the school? - Yeah, I was in his class for other 2010. - Yeah. - Yeah. - To 2010. And then the third one was for our friend Dylan's, but they didn't do anything. - Yeah, we did the whole thing. - We did the whole thing and we gave it to him. - Yeah, it was fun. - It was something, man. - So stupid. - Wait, I had a dog cage for my dog. - So it was also like a saw movie, like it was like, and then like it was so poorly shot. Like in the background, you could see like my feet. (laughing) - Yeah. - But there was a scene where we put my friend in a cage and then we hung like a mitre saw above that was like hanging. - Yeah. - And there was a timer and it was gonna fall out of them and all this shit. - It was so fucking dumb, but it was so fucking fun. - If you watch it, we didn't have a way to turn the lights on and off. So we just had one friend in the back flicking the switch. And then in the footage, we just see the kid flicking. - There was one scene where Frank gets hit. I have these like double doors and that's how my mom's house. So we slam it on him and you just see him like lift his hand so it doesn't hit him. Like you could see him go, and then it hits him and then he is supposed to fall down the stairs but he fell down the stairs and you just hear, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh" (laughing) and then you look down the stairs and he's just on the ground. - This is also prime time where we were just like, we were fucking 19, 18 or 19. 17 at the time and we were like just like yeah like actually throw me down the stairs Keith Yeah, you know like Keith like actually hit me We got like creative with it like he stabbed someone and for blood We put red food coloring in like so the seltzer bottle and he stabbed it and it's sprayed red on him You know what I'm gonna bring my laptop in next week. That's young Spielberg stuff. Listen brother. Hey look at us now Not doing that Maybe well, there's one day that well actually I don't think we can show this. I don't even know I would have to watch it We definitely have to watch it and and I mean you'll see it when when you see it, but It was like the video hadn't the movie had to be 10 minutes long and It came in at like the third one came in at like 925 and we just physically had nothing else that we could shoot and we were Up all night editing it Keith already walked off into the sunset. Yeah, so what we did was We did in the credits. It's just like Him and I singing get low by little John and the east side boys mind you. This isn't our project This isn't our project it's our friend's project and we're doing the entire and it was like written by this produced by Directed by starring, you know grip like all that shit. It was just us lighting Appreciate how the real world works to probably. Yeah, well maybe one day ladies maybe we just tease the fuck out of that So please find the second one for me. Please. I'll have to find it. It's on like a CD or some shit, but it's on a DVD. Yeah But there you have it folks. That's our episode Frank. We're gonna find you the Frank Alvers everywhere Go check out the patreon patreon dot com slash the basement yard new merch standing out of studios dot com Check the hat. Check the sweatshirt. Check the shirt. That's the wrong one I did it again So go check all that out and you guys You guys are gonna follow me. Oh, yeah, we're gonna find you. Nope. Santa got a studios dot com. Wow I'm gonna go find the show at the basement yard and that is all we'll see you guys next time