#568 - Frankie's Birthday Episode

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I can't say, I can't say things like that now. And we got you a little bit. A little birthday cake. Oh, really? Oh, it's royalty free. I swear to God, Neil, I'm going to talk over it. I'm going to talk over it just in case it isn't royalty free. And they lied. Those candles are going out. If not already out. Oh, they stayed on. Yo, thank you. Hell yeah. Yeah. Do I put these out like an adult? What do I, you can stop. I think I pulled a muscle on my neck. Do I put these out like a, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You got to blow you idiot. It's your birthday. I mean, first of all, you gotta make a, you gotta make a, you don't deserve to see what that thing do. I got it in. Okay. Um, you have to make a wish, obviously. Uh, do I? Oh, should I do Joey? What I wish for every year? It's like just permanent wealth and health. And what are you going to wish for an item? Money. I mean, technically. If I wish for something and then I get it myself, which came true. Yeah. Which came true. Uh, I should probably go, right? What do I do? I don't know. There's a lot of pressure on me now. You can't tell us though, Frank. It's a birthday cake. Do you close your eyes for wishes or you keep them open? It's amazing that you can't do anything. It's amazing. It's also rare. It's on your actual birthday today. Damn. That was good. Yo, I got this. I got, I got, and now we have to eat that. Now we got. Still that might set something off in here. Be careful. No, could you, yo, what would you do if we're recording and then the fucking sprinkler start going on? Probably freeze. That's really bad. That would be really bad. We keep going, right? I'd be so upset, dude. Yeah. Well, because of the thousands of dollars of equipment that would get in trouble, that would be the part that would upset me. Yeah. Um, I can't be the only one that's having this. Where are the plates, bitch? You know, you should have thought about that before. You hocked a lungi on it there. I didn't hunk a lungi. Hunk a lungi. Um, I gave it also. This is a wish too. First cut wish. Oh, do you, my family does the whole like wow. No, my family doesn't do that. Oh, it's like a Greek. Does your family do the like facing the fucking cake? No. And I'm glad we don't because I saw one where it was like, you know how like certain tier cakes have like, they have stakes in them to keep them from toppling over. And I saw one and it was a fucking steak in someone's eye. Good. Don't want to do that. I hate that tradition. Also, like, there's too many traditions around birthdays. Wipe the name, cut the cake, sing the thing, make a birthday name like it's a diaper. What the fuck? I've never even heard of that one. Wipe the name out. Oh, I've never heard of that one. Yeah, you got to shmee your name, shmee your name. I will tell you, it was always a fight in our house because Carvel ice cream cake was always the ice cream cake to go to. Yeah, it was always a fight to get the gel writing or the gel balloons, the balloons I wanted, but the but the balloons looking back are like, all right, it's a lot of a lot of goop. It's just like a it's almost like waxy kind of. Oh, I haven't had any waxy ones. It's not like as tasty as I thought. Oh, but I thought that was going to make noise. You got to blow hard enough. Show us what that shows. What's that? We got you birthday. Oh, yeah. Oh, I hit the camera. It's all right. Drilled the cat. What? First of all, this is certainly not royalty free. You know, someone's going to want their cut of this hat. Oh, we paid for it. That's also true. It's got the big four on it, the original four. All right, so what am I doing? Am I-- Wait, wait. What is this? Oh, a little sash. Why is it pink? Birthday girl. Right. Gotcha. Yeah. OK. This is the sash, which also-- Says birthday girl. Yeah. Yeah, they didn't have many options. What is this thing? Is that the tag? Well, so what? It says on/off. Does it go on? I don't know. What the fuck is this? This is probably-- You bought an electric one? Does it light up? I don't know. Does it? I don't know. Does it light? Nope. I don't know. Here. It's broken. It's your birthday. Wow. Enjoy your birthday. Oh, there's supposed to be lights. Yeah. I don't know, man. Well, Frank's turning 34 years old today. Today is his actual birthday. I'm recording. We should specify that. There we go. By the time-- yeah! Oh, that looks nice. Well, there he is. Wow. The birthday girl in a birthday world. Damn. I think this is the only time we've recorded an episode on a birthday. Probably, yeah. I think we've somehow done it like five times for you. Not on my birthday. I think so. I don't know. Yeah, you're new. Yeah, who fucking-- you don't know what the hell you're talking about. All right, give it a cut. Give us a cut. Do I go for it? Give us a wish. I already blew it out. The wish is gone. No, there's another wish. No. You just make the first cut and wish at the same time. Do you do the first-- Why are you holding a knife like that? Do you do the first piece goes to the birthday person? Yeah, if you-- yeah. Gender's nonspecific. Yeah. Might be hard. Well, it's an ice cream cake. Oh, god. I love ice cream cake. It's so good. Oh, yeah. Oh. Let me know how much crunchies are in there. I'll tell you right now, where's my fucking plate? Oh, I have birthday plates. Joe, you also have birthday plates? They're-- They're gay. They're gay. They are gay. Um, so I'm the gay birthday girl with a Pokemon hat. Yeah. We're covering all bases here. I mean, I don't hate that. You want a piece of cake? I wouldn't throw that. Oh, you think you could do it? Yeah, look. Oh, what a professional cut on my part. Well, I didn't get that. How about that? Oh, I almost nailed that. That's already good. That's already got that. Come on. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. You can do it. Oh, you had it almost again. Throw it more to the-- oh, throw it more to the left. No, that way. We're running out of plates, I think. I fucked up. I did that on purpose to see you crawl like a little pig. Probably. We're going to let that go, because this is his birthday. But that's all right. Oh, do I got free carte blanche to say we would do whatever I want today? You know, sure-- no. Let's be honest. So that's for you. What's going to stop me? Yes, this is the first cake piece for the birthday boy. You want to give me your plate? That sentence whooped your ass. I can't be one-- all right. Wait, here, take one. Oh. Oh! Yeah, you're scooping it. I'm scooped. Oh. That's a perfect-- Yeah, you're cutting thick mamas. I'm not going to lie to you. I got you. I mean, it's ice cream cake at-- You guessed it-- 11:00 in the morning. Yeah. Woo-hoo! And I'm sure this isn't going to turn my mouth blue. Oh, where's your plate? I need to give you a piece, because if you don't have a piece, it's bad luck for birthday person. Now we're just making him up. That one-- but you know what? Who's going to fight me on that one? Honestly? Little piece? Little piece. You're getting that little piece. You're getting the same size as Joey and I, because we're-- The way that you cut is driving me up the wall. Why? Because you're cutting like this. I mean, I want to be delicate and gentle to this beautiful birthday cake that you guys took the effort to get for me. Look at you cut like that. Oh, you've made a mess. You said that like a parent. Come on. Give me the-- so it's going to melt. Give me the cake. No, you get it. It's my birthday. I got you. I got you. He's that guy. He's-- now he's stopping. You know what? It's going to melt. No, no, no, no. Here, here, here, here. Here, here. Ooh, ooh, I'm a fucking filthy pig. Yeah, you're hype. I like-- I like-- You like my birthday. I do. I enjoy my birthday. Becca on the way here was just like-- I was talking on the phone, and she's like, are you going to be one of those people that doesn't enjoy their birthday anymore? I don't think so. I like my birthday. I don't think so either. I always have, always will. I think that you're like-- since you like the nostalgia and like childlike, you know, you have like a childlike wonder, like of course you would like birthdays. Because like that's like-- I feel like-- A birthday is nostalgic. I feel like there's a tinge of something there that you're trying to-- You have a childlike wonder, and you love nostalgia. I do. That's why I said that. And there's nothing wrong with that. Who said that? You're on the defense, buddy. I am. I'm sorry. I'm excited. God, this is perfect. I will tell you this. This is now taking my second place. This is my second favorite cake now. Becca's cheesecake is-- Bah, bah, bah. Bah, bah, bah to the top, baby. I'm back. Did you miss me? Oh, the ice cream cake? Yeah. Whoa. Did you miss me? I'm back. Didn't even know you were gone. I don't know what this is, the blue. Whatever the blue is is the greatest tasting thing I've ever had. Ganache? No, there's no way they're pumping out ganache. I mean, I have no fucking idea what ganache even is. It's Carvel. It's not, you know, French. Oh, it's cold. It's ice cream. It's ice cream. That's true. It's a little colder than I expected. Ooh. - It's cold. - Mm-hmm. Now we're talking, baby. The fucking episode is going up! I could see the ice cream melting in your mouth when you yelled that. This is a great cake. The chocolate crunchies in an ice cream cake are outrageous. You know what these fucking idiots do from Carvel? Who? Carvel. I meant what? They make an ice cream flavor in their ice cream shop that's just the cake but in a big tub. And it's fucking good, dude. It's got the crunchies in there. It's got it all. I'm not quite sure what this is because I know it's vanilla, but it's not at the same time, you know? It's like white, but also like. Nah, it's vanilla. Come on. Nah, it's something else. There's something else in there that I can't quite put my finger on. Crack cocaine? Yo, honestly, I'm not kidding. It might be. I like to separate. Oh, boy, I probably shouldn't say this. You like to separate the white and the brown? Yep. It's his birthday. You know, I can just tell from that bite, too. You put the black crunchies with the brown and separated that from the white. There's an equal distribution. Of the black. I don't like how you're making this a race thing. Really? Me? What? I like to separate my foods on my plates and stuff like that. I will say. We're back. Sorry. It's just for me. That's a thumbnail right there. It's Frank's birthday. You're not gonna. Yeah. What are you doing? It's so good. Are you making your mouth blue? You have a lot of pictures of me with my mouth blue. I think the proper way to say that is that your mouth's blue a lot. Not that I hoard pictures. You hoard. You probably have more pictures of me with my mouth agape on your phone than any other person. Certainly not the way to say that. Certainly not. Certainly a misleading sentence. I mean, it's true. We have the one from San Diego. Yeah, because you ate cotton candy. I was at a baseball game. What was I supposed to do? I don't know. Not eat cotton candy. No one else we were with ate cotton candy. Yeah, because no one else is as fun as I am. You like cotton candy. I just like being funny. I'm like just enjoying the fun parts of life. And guess what? Sometimes it's free cotton candy. Yeah. I'll tell you this. You put me somewhere where there's free food, I'm trying everything they got. You tried all the food in the thing? Yep. Did you? Yeah. It was good. Are you a big buffet guy? Bro, that was a big bite. Hello, brother. Love a buffet. You love a buffet. Just taking a little bit of this and that. How do you go about choosing? You know what I'm saying? Do you take the one at the front? Do you try to get the middle? Or you're like, let me go on the back. It depends on what it is. Like, if we're looking at like the thing of bacon, I look for the crunchiest pieces, which are normally sometimes in the middle. How are you still chewing? This cake is whooping my fucking ass. He's chewing a meltable. But I look for like the crunchiest. And then with the sausages, if they're lengths, I'm fully in. If they fucking dare to give me sausage patties, I'm not taking a single one. Oh, wow. Yeah. Fuck that. I actually enjoy a patty. I mean, I like a link better, but a patty gets drier quicker because there's no fucking protective layering. You know what I mean? Detective layering. Yeah, I know what you mean. Like a link. It's snappy and shit, but I take a little girl. Let me tell you something. You're going to be you're going to like this. I love this. So yesterday, you know how, like, sometimes I tell you, Nicole makes those like hot dogs that aren't hot dogs. Yeah, we're getting there. Close, close. So she ain't going to. But she made those hot dogs yesterday. Dude, I don't know. I don't know what was going on. I bit into this thing twice. Same dog. It squirted across the room. I'm not kidding. Yeah. If I bit into it and it landed, like, on your desk, it flew. But be honest. I got in big trouble because it ruined some books and they got on the rug. Oh, no. Oh, no. The books. Yeah. Well, don't get me started on these fucking coffee table books. There's a million of them. Dude, I think, like, that made you, like, you wouldn't have said that that was a measure of success of a good sausage or a good hot dog. But then it happened and you're just like, I kind of need my hot dogs to squirt across the room like this. The second one I learned. So I started, I put holes in it and I turned it upside down. And then I took a bite and then she started peeing at her, you know, at the bottom. Yeah, she sat and squirted. Yeah, well, she was kind of like peeing out the front of the bun. And I was like, all right. And it was kind of like, it was like a milky touch. Oh. Yeah, I didn't, I was kind of like-- Not appetizing. That's why I'm, like, not fully on board with healthy hot dogs because, like, I-- I don't even know what it was. Exactly. If I get a regular hot dog, I at least know that I don't know what it is. Well, it wasn't a veggie. It was like a-- Like a soy or like a tofu? I don't think it was tofu. I'll tell you right now, I will call up Nicole and scream into the phone if I hear that she gives you a tofu dog. No, tofu I'm not, like, crazy about. It's like I'm eating, like, an eraser. Yeah. It tastes like I'm eating nothing. Like a marshmallow that doesn't have a taste. It tastes like I'm just biting into the, like, underside of a mattress. Or, like, you know what it reminds me of? You know when they really compound, like, recycling and they make, like, big whatever? But if they did that with moths, that's what that would kind of-- That's a really, that is a really, really good one, yeah. Like, a lot of compounded moths. Like, if I just, like, somehow got a silk spider to just shoot its silk into my mouth, I feel like I would get more nutritional value out of that than tofu. Is that all spiders, or are there specific silk spiders? I believe silk spiders are a specific set of spiders. And is it jizz, or is it pee? Or is it some other-- That's a good question. I don't think it's jizz. Is it silk spider jizz? Do you want to do-- do you want to do your job for a second? I was trying to pass you a secret note. Yeah. Trying to pass you a secret note that you forgot to start the timer? Yeah, add 15 minutes to that. OK. Yeah, hold on. I'm going to take-- Is spider silk jizz? I heard it, though. Yep. I'm going to take a big old bite. Yeah. I don't want you to watch. I feel like it's going to be a mess. How could I not look? Do we want it phrased exactly like that? You're disgusting. Jesus. It's not semen, but male spiders do use a special amount of silk called a sperm web to handle their reproductive fluids. That feels like a yes and no. That feels like a certain-- Spider silk is made of strong protein fibers. Hey. That's jizz, baby. Well-- huh? Yeah. How do you know that? Protein? Yeah. Don't worry. It's just all over. Sorry. I know people are going to hate me now. Yeah, I don't know. When a male spider grows up, he weaves a small silk mat, then ejects sperm onto it. I mean-- Oh, so that's kind of like the-- the saw. Yeah. Except-- The-- the-- the towel. I never got that. I mean, people jerk off in socks. I-- I can-- Why would anyone do that? I'll be honest with you, I've never done that. Me neither. I-- but apparently, they, like, load it up-- excuse me. Let me fix my sash. They, like, load it up with, like, lotion, and then just crank their shit into this safe space. I-- I don't-- I don't. I've never-- have you? No. Yeah, that's a yeah. No, no, it's because-- It's a full yes, brother. No, because-- It's a full yes. I was just-- I was under-- Watch this. Watch this. Have you done it? No. Have I done it? No. Have you? No. See? But I was-- I was just understanding of why, I think. I mean, it doesn't-- What could that mean? Like, it was, like, just a no clean up kind of thing. Empathy. You have empathy for the way people jerk off into socks. I get it. But also, like, even in, like, movies, where you're, like, a guy, like, is sitting on his bed, and he's got a mountain of tissues and jergens, I'm like, I've never done that either. Brother, I will tell you, I have seen people-- let me back up a little bit. What? Back up, birthday girl. When I was an RA, at the end of the year, after everyone moved out, we would have to-- Oh, no. Yeah, dude. We would have to, like, go through the rooms to make sure, like, oh, this person didn't do any damage to the room or leave anything behind, because people would get charged, you know, to, like, have us store it or ship it or repair it or whatever. There was one kid's room, I remember very specifically, we went in there, and it, first of all, stunk. Like what? You know what it smelled like. You know those fucking trees in Astoria that you walk by, and they had the little shit berries on them? Yeah, the cum trees. The cum trees. It smelled like that mixed in with, like, the upper inner parts of your asshole. What kind of weekend did he have? Fuck a weekend. It was a whole year. And then we moved the bed, and we saw tissues and socks. Oh, you saw paraphernalia. Fuck paraphernalia. We saw the fucking murder victim crime. Oh. Tool. Whatever. God. He was murdering sperm. Disgusting. What an insane episode. I mean, if the music didn't get us demonetized, it is absolutely gone now. No, I sang over it. We're fine. Yeah. But then there was another story that, this didn't happen to me specifically, but someone I worked with told the story that they found someone's used fleshlight. And it, like-- We're going off this. It's your birthday. I'm done with this. Are you kidding me? Well, you don't want to talk about used fleshlights on my birthday? No, I would rather talk about you and your birthday, and not--and not a real thing. Yeah. random okay persons I'm not I'm not opposed to that so you're 34 now damn see you're first of all that was kevin hart i know what's kevin doing kevin hart on what was that his own show yeah oh yeah don cheadle i think it was don cheadle sorry that was just that was coming uh you're 34 34 and how are you feeling and you're feeling you're feeling old you're feeling cricking your necks and stuff oh yeah i mean the the necks you're cracking you're making them a lot of moans yeah my toes hurt randomly your toes hurt yes they do interesting i did have a uh i did have like an old plan b is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan it specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation plan b is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like doordash no id prescription or It's the number one ob-gyn recommended brand of emergency contraception and it won't impact your future fertility that's freedom to be used as directed old person moment last night oh last night yeah i was in the shower and um i was getting ready to like wash myself what does that mean so what do you mean you were getting ready to wash i was like just like so i do a pre-wash i do i go in i do a rinse you know i do my thing and then i then i lather up and get the soap ready to get everything wet that was you spreading your ass to be clear i mean there was no specific you went like this and then also this i i i'm just doing hand things no problem you're soaking wet now i'm just and then i was getting the uh the soap all conjured and bubbly and soapy and i smelt uh my grandmother like like a holy spirit not like a like she is coming down and watching over me which what a time to watch over yeah but like i smell and it was like oh my god that's what my grandmother smelled like and i realized that like i'm approaching that but but mathematically you're not i mean mathematically like you just naturally as you age you will start to smell like your grandmother yeah okay i feel like i've smelled your grandma before and i and i i don't want to you can you can i love her but she didn't smell great you know yeah i know it's all right that's why i was worried so you were in there going what's that you've never been in the bathroom and smelled something just be like dad uh no yeah you have i've been in a deli and smelled my dad for sure yeah are you sure it smells like prosciutto i love that i don't hate that yeah like a spiced meat like a dry cured meat just a just a counter yeah like a deli i mean i mean maybe we can get into therapy about this because you do love your cured meats hey maybe we should talk about you in the shower smelling your grandma yeah that feels like a different type of i just like it was a moment where i was just like oh my god like i'm gonna grow up and smell like my grandmother did which was not pleasant did you smell like your grandma was this before or after you spread your butt cheeks it's after we got that no one said i was spreading anything i know we saw from the hands i was just doing handshakes hand things but you do spread of course you spread it your ass in the shower we're all spreading our ass in the shower if we're not we're not cleaning our ass all right since we're all in this together i i do spread my you spread your do you spread your ass oh i thought we were gonna get him with a haha you know oh my god he got him what an idiot no dude i'm over there i'm letting you know yeah i just don't smell my grandma after no me neither i get direct contact with the shower head to my hiney oh you're bending over like that i mean i'm not like i'm not like going over and like getting this thing to pressure wash me no i'm not like a trapeze that's what the bidet is for yeah no it's not pressure washing my ass it's not doing that bidet's got some they got some pressure to it but i'm not like you know banking on my spine funneling the water down perfectly through my crack to clean my butt i'm cleaning my butt i mean i think i've figured out a way to kind of like maneuver my back so it creates like a river delta right above my asshole you know what i mean like it knows so you don't you don't open up you don't park to see a little bit but not to the point brother you gotta get in there and fucking listen not to brag you use your back to get to your asshole yeah brother it's like you're like you could figure out how to get the water to go a certain way what are you an air bender what is that not an air bed it's like fucking i believe it'd be water bending water bending water bending that is true yeah i'm just bending we've we've heard it and we i'm bedding and spending i mean it's like one of those things where like you can like go like this and do that to yourself right now you could feel like a trench in your back peaks and valleys so if i create a valley going down my back directly into my asshole the water has one way to go yeah but you're just you're relying on like you know are you familiar with erosion yeah i have human thousands of years it takes thousands of years yeah i have human skin i'm constantly running water down my fucking you know that's not what i'm saying i'm saying if there is residue in your in order to erode that away it's going to take thousands of years with your little river but this is why you got to get in there but the river the river is not meant to clean it the river is just meant to like you know how when you fucking have what's meant to clean it then this is the issue the soap the soap is meant to clean how's the soap get in there that gets next that's the next part of it this is like the idea of when you have a bowl of cereal you dunk your cereal into the milk just to get it wet to introduce a little moisture how's the soap get in there i lather it up and i fucking throw it in there oh so you get in there i get in there but i'm not at that point yet oh if you took 10 seconds to let me explain i was just asking if you're bent over in the shower on your birthday is that a big deal i thought you're also putting soap at the top like a butt cleaning luge that's what i thought that i'll tell you exactly how i shower because i know that's what you guys are afraid to i feel like we've heard this before but i now i this this new thing the back luge is just to introduce water to my body it's not in replacement of soap it's not taking the place of cleaning it is just like pre-dunking my butt into water got it that's all it is okay and there's nothing wrong with that i didn't say that and then after it's wet i feel like the soap does a better job at adhering and cleaning when there is also water there yeah they're boys they you got to make the soap feel comfortable i know what water is like go go into the shower and try to dry rub your skin with a bar of soap it comes out like a film on there you want to get it a wet on wet so it soaps up yeah yeah that's all i was familiar well that's all i was saying well you danced around your butt a little bit i think you were just astonished at the fact that i can bend water down my back at will yes no i'm not i'm not astonished i'm just saying like you know you're taking the long way you could just like take a direct flight bang right do me a favor next time you shower go in there and just be goldberg just like you know like and like you'll see you can maneuver water down your back uh yeah i know that the the water gets there would this be a facetime situation just no just to prove it you're a freak that's my alone time i mean that was my like i was known as like a shower facetimer for years exclusively i stopped picking up facetimes i forgot like i know he's showering was i allowed to say that you facetime in the bath or no i i think we said i was going to do it on this episode we said i was going to do it and then i did confirm do it yeah he did do it yeah yeah oh and you made sure that your penis wasn't in the reflection oh it's just face it was just face neck up baby yeah it's just face also you couldn't have seen anything bubbles and dark what dark it was dark in there yeah oh i think i might have lit candles oh shit you were taking yourself on a little honeymoon listen man i like to promote my own self-care and i'm gonna light some candles for myself every now and he was a man of his word and he did it and then you called me he was in the tub no he was streaming it was during the card-a-thon but i got we and i sometimes joke like the scariest thing that can happen is a just an unannounced phone call from joey oh yeah it's the worst or an 8 a.m text yo no that's actually the worst that's scary but i mean those are just reserved for things that are fucked exactly just imagine though like because he doesn't call people often and i don't think he's a big phone call type of guy but imagine just an unannounced phone call from him at 10 in the morning the problem is when he texts you yo at 8 in the morning you know it's bad but the problem is he doesn't start the text any different at like 2 p.m well because i start to answer quickly or like i or something like that i'll say yo hoping that i'm assuming answer by the time i'm done telling you what's going on got it you know what i mean got it so he like sneaks atrocious horses me with the yo i'm actually trying to help no no 8 a.m yo is bad oh i know um but if i by but if i wrote out this whole thing and sent it to you and i didn't hear from you for like 45 minutes that would be 45 minutes of like i'm in my own hell yeah that that happens to me put my phone down, so I'll text and then put my phone down for two hours and then pick it up and be like i didn't i never answered two hours there have been there have been longer there have been 15 there have been we'll continue a conversation 15 hours later like like 15 hours didn't pass and i'm like oh where were you cryogenically frozen yeah and you're just like oh oh yeah no yeah no problem i'm like what no problem it's bad it's bad it's bad and i've been working on it i think you could say that i have made passes in the right direction but the point that i was trying to make is that you unannounced calling me at 10 30 in the morning scared the fucking shit out of me that's fair and it was just so i could sing aerosmiths i don't want to miss a thing i want to say how much of the song did you do he asked me to do specifically the like the the high note and even when i tried that one yeah can you do it seriously no why not i mean i'm saying no can you try i'd like to not damn that's fine this guy doesn't understand entertainment that's how you say no ladies and gentlemen setting healthy boundaries that's what it is you literally just asked me about the way in which i spread my ass cheeks and you could have said i don't want to answer however we got the luge you know what that's how we get the luge baby he got it he figured it out um but yes you get to right after you know what why don't we do an easy segue from your asshole to the ass assholes to add add stuff add rolls add rolls okay i like that all right first one we have here ollie pop delicious right here i'm actually gonna pop it i was waiting to pop it ollie pop i don't know if we could sing i don't know if that's yeah is there is there a song i just said it once no but there's another song that sounds like ollie pop wouldn't do that yeah ollie pop it's a feel-good soda that combines the classic soda taste with the benefits of high fiber to support digestive health i have a mini fridge in my apartment there's always ollie pop so i'm gonna pop it i'm gonna pop it i'm gonna pop it ollie pop in it okay i love these because this one specifically only three sugars and six grams of dietary fiber i want that fiber okay it's an easy way to get fiber i prioritize fiber in my diet so if that's something that you want to do this is a cool way to do it they taste good this one is the root beer tastes like root beer just like when you were a child okay but uh only three sugars 35 uh calories and uh like i said six grams of fiber so it's good high fiber less sugar traditional soda real ingredients thoughtful formulation they have a bunch of different ones too frank's got the cream soda over there there's grape there's other ones that i don't know the name of right now but i i've i've had pretty much all of them um and i like all of them i think they're all great so ollie pop you gotta take that ollie pop you gotta take that one more time just just say ollie pop and ollie pop just pop me shouldn't say that no no but you could buy uh any two cans of ollie pop in store um and they'll pay you back for one go to drink ollie pop.com slash basement though and uh it's available in the soda aisle probably in your local spot so go check it out get yourself an ollie pop um and you can go to drink ollie pop.com slash basement get some get some i'm gonna suggest these two are my faves root beer is probably my favorite cream is sometimes it the cream jumps over the root beer but these are my favorites but go go to drink ollie pop.com right now slash drink ollie pop.com slash basement right now uh to enjoy some of that um we also have square space square space is where you're going to build your website okay it's a platform that's going to help you build your website and run your website in the most efficient way possible and how they do that is with these templates they make it very easy to build your website from scratch you just click on one of the templates they have pages of them you pick the one that is most beneficial to whatever you're doing if you have content or you have an econ business or whatever retail whatever it is uh you can create a website find the right fit for you populate this website you switch out the photos the text or whatever it's very simple they make it a very easy uh process and also they have a lot of tools they're 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what we got going on at patreon.com slash the basement yard and you'll see that that first tier to where you get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance seven whole days that's beautiful and then that second tier you get exclusive episodes every single friday so you'll get a new episode monday you'll get an episode on friday and you can watch everything that has been there for years and years and years at this point so if you're new to patreon or you ducked out for a little bit there's hundreds of hours of unseen footage that you have not yet gotten your your beautiful little eyes on so go check it out at patreon.com slash the basement yard your guys's support is we cannot keep up with it put it like that we are at over 100,000 subscribers and we are at over 100,000 subscribers and we are at over 52,000 paid patrons and the love and support is not gone unnoticed we are figuring out what we can do to thank you for 50 and by the time we get to 60 we might need to figure that out too so thank you so much for all the love and all the support go check it out at patreon.com slash the basement yard and save yourself a couple extra bucks when you're doing it by going on a web browser if you use the smart app on your phone it's going to take a couple extra bucks from you and save yourself some money while you're trying to save yourself from the sadness and you're being happy with us so patreon.com slash the basement yard thank you and we'll see you there next up the boys are going back on the road that's right if you go to thebasemanyard.com oh my sash fell let me pull it up over here uh if you go to the basement if you go to thebasemanyard.com you'll see that we have our live shows listed on the website we might be coming to a a venue or a city near you or if you want to take a trip go check it out a lot of tickets are on the website so if you want to take a trip go check it out a lot of tickets are have gone. I'm not going to sit here and try to, you know, sugarcoat it for you. A lot of them are gone and you might not be able to go to your first choice of a show, but take a gander. See if you want to come out to another show. We are trying really hard to make it as unique and fun as possible. And we want to see you there. So go to the basement yard.com and check it out. And while you're doing that, if you go to the basement yard.com and you just put a little backslash submit, you're going to see a submission form. If you came to any of those shows during our first two live show tours, you will see that we did, or you will remember that we did those live card submissions. So you guys would go to the basement yard.com slash submit, and you would submit a card and we would talk to you about you with you. It got fucking insane and all crazy. Well, this time we're doing something a little similar, but also a little different. So what you could do is go to the basement yard.com and you could submit an out of context picture from your camera roll. And we're going to pull that bad boy up. So you go to the website, you use the dropdown menu, let us know what show you're coming to. And we're going to pull that submit the picture from your camera roll. It could be crazy insane. It will be vetted by Greg. So best of luck. And then you could tell some story behind the photo. So we have some context if we need it. And then you can put your name and if you're going to be at the show, maybe we'll talk to you or whatever, but we're really, really excited where this is going to be incredible and super fun. So go check it out again. That's the basement yard.com slash submit. And just to kind of refresh everyone's beautiful memory, patreon.com slash the basement yard, the basement yard.com for live show information. And then the basement yard.com slash submit for those photo submissions. If you're coming to any of the live shows, we're excited. And, uh, the day is rapidly approaching. So first stop on this tour, we'll, uh, we'll see you there. All right. What a beautiful, the birthday girl, like this keeps coming, like turning and shit like that. It's yeah. I don't know. Um, so I have another question for you about your birthday. Oh, sure. Yeah. You turned 34. Yes. So what do you think was your most memorable moment of the year 33? Not including the obvious. Uh, I mean, I, I, I can't tell you how much fun I had on our like first family trip. Cause that was our first family like trip on a plane and just snuck it in right before, right before the birthday. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I can't tell you how like personally rewarding that was to me to like I've I've shared with you some of the challenges of being in our position, you know, and like, you know, live shows and stuff like that and being a father and, you know, having a family. So being able to see the fruits of my labor, like on a vacation and seeing the kids enjoy themselves and being able to give them something along with Becca, you know, like us to being able to give that to them was I will never like I will you will never be able to take the memory of their smiles and excitement and happiness from me. I love that so much. Fruits of his labor. That shit was a villa. That's what that sounds like. To see the fruit. Yeah. Seriously. Feelings are 14 feet high in here. Listen, man, we opened up to a fucking lawn and then the beach, bitch. No, that's awesome. But I got pinched. Oh, no. No, but it's been an incredibly memorable year. I mean, just like so dense and just fucking. Oh, my God. The year's been so dense. Just like it's been such a dense year of like, you know, like that and then late night and. And, you know, MSG, you know, there's just been so much and I'm so lucky. And then also, what are you hoping to accomplish in our year 34? The year of our Lord Thor 34. Right. Man, that's tough. I mean, I really want to just kind of double down on the things that make me happy and continuing. I need to work better at like removing stress. I found recently I allow stress to get to me. Really? Really bad. Like I become not a joy to be around and I just I'm not good with dealing with it. So I really want to double down on the things that make me happy. Which are? My family. You want to double down on your family? I want to double down on my wife. Dabby, dabby, don't leave me, dabby, leave me. I can't do that. I can't be involved. No, it's just like the things that bring me joy is like really continue to focus on those and then remove stress. As much as that or just be fucking a little more Teflon, you know, just like allow certain things to roll off my back because I direct them into your ass. A lot of things to roll off my back and into my ass, you know what I mean? I mean, what is life if you're not, if you're not making stress roll off your back into your fucking asshole? A bunch of stuff. I think really other than that. Yeah, like quarters. Quarters. It'd be a cool party trick if you could do that. You think you could do that? Roll it down from your spine to your back. To your, and catch it with your butt cheeks. I think you could do that. Get a quarter naked, top of your neck, drop it down your spine, catch it in your butt. I guarantee I could do that. I feel like I could too. Have you ever, I know a good trick with a quarter, but I don't think we have the equipment for it. A quarter? A quarter, a pencil and a blank sheet of paper. Oh, what? Actually, I don't know the trick. It's like, I'm impressive. Actually, now that I think about it, that's probably tough to, to like, guide a quarter down into your asshole. No, I mean, it's not going to go in my hole, but it's, I got to catch it with my butt cheeks. I mean, first of all, there is no realistic way that we are going to do this. No, I'm saying like on our own. Scout's honor. I think Scout's honor is three. Who's this then? I think that's Dr. Strange. This is Dr. Strange. Yes. That's also. This is nipples. There's a three finger difference between nipples, Dr. Strange, Scout's honor. And then who's that? Um, you're getting pretty close. This feels like Dr. Strange. No, Dr. Strange is actually this. Yeah. Yeah. This is the shocker is in there somewhere. This is smash mouth. Uh, sure. Yes. Smash mouth can have that one. I feel like two is Nixon. He has two for a while. So this is Jeff Hardy. That's this. These are the Hardy boys, but you have to put them in your mouth or, or go out. Yeah. You know, that's the, that's Spock. Spock. That's Spock. Not Klingons. Yeah, this is, um, can't forget that one. This is mittens. This, oh, I was getting, and this is, um, Ninja turtles or this one is Ninja turtles. Actually. Yeah. You can't do it, can you? Oh yeah. Do it. Hi, do it. Hi. You can do it down, do it up. Um, yeah, you careful west coast. I mean, you don't want to upset anyone. Definitely not them on the west coast. Look at what just happened. What happened. Kendrick will make a song about you and then you're going to get flamed on the internet for the rest of your life. What about that one? Yeah, but that's the shocker obviously. Um, and then the reverse, this is also Matt Hardy version one reverse shock. Oh, this is a dog. Yeah, this is dog. This is dog. Yeah, no, that's dragon. That's dragon. This is dog. I do this thing now with, with Nicole when I'm at night when I'm tired. I'm like, Oh, I'm going to bed. Like it's a gel. Well, they say that's the time to make banana bread. Yeah, you have to wait till they're. You wait till they're like that, and then you get the best banana bread possible. I have basically black bananas in my freezer right now. So do we. And it's because you let them thaw out, and you make the best banana bread. Like Becca makes banana nut muffins sometimes. Completely unnecessary. Yo, and very painful. Honestly, I feel like I heard your teeth clash. That hurt, because I'm wearing a ring. They do. When was the last time you touched your teeth? All the time. You touch your teeth all the time? Yeah. Why? I mean, I bite my teeth, yeah. I like to like. That doesn't count. No, but I get in there with my fingers. Oh, yeah, I do that too. Look at this guy. Oh, God. Oh, it's going to make me gag. Is it this guy? Yeah. Wait. Oh! It's a bunch of. This one, it's. Oh, this guy's a bastard, dude. He can't like that. I can't. See, he drank that one. Oh, come on. That was insane. As long as I don't look at Frank, my eyes are watering. That's insane, dude. Yo, the double-handing doesn't help either. That one. That one's really visceral. That one's so bad. No, the. Did he just eat the skin? Did I just eat the skin? Did he eat the skin? Did he eat the skin just now? Yeah, that one's insane, bro. Like fucking K-Pax. He literally just like ate that. You don't have to suck it off the plate. All right, is this on loop now? I'm like doing nuts. No, yeah, it is on loop. We've seen this enough. We're giving this guy more views than he's gotten all fucking week. Well, you can watch him eat the peel again if you want. That's not true. There you go. Look, he's got 39 likes. This guy. Is that his page? It might not be. It might just be a compilation. Oh, look. It was posted the day after my birthday. Hey! He likes things like that. Yeah, he does. That's cute. I do. I like it. Sorry, that got me to gag a little bit. I apologize. Birthday girl wanted a gag. Yeah, but what I'm trying to, like a big takeaway is being, you know, giving back to my community and trying to pay it forward when I can because I fully acknowledge that I am in my position because I am A, very lucky, and B, I've been given an opportunity by, whether it be the universe, different people, whatever. So I want to make the most of it. That's beautiful. That Happy Cry Fun event that we did, like the volunteer, that shit was mad fun. Yeah, that was awesome. I'm not going to say it. Never mind. I don't want to give these losers any fucking attention. Who? Not sharing excess. They're not losers. They're really cool. Yeah, who are you talking about? There was like someone in the comments. I was just like, these guys are cool, but like just fucking do it and don't post anything. And I just wanted to respond like, you're a fucking nerd. Well, also, like the whole point is like we're trying to raise money. People should know where their money is going. Yeah, well, but Joey, the internet. No, I know. It's smarter than anyone ever. I just think that like that's a gut. No reaction to anything like that because there are people who film stuff that shouldn't be filmed and they're kind of exploiting, you know, whatever. A homeless person is like, I'll give you a dollar and they want to film it. Well, that's the thing is I honestly like I used to have that mentality, but with stuff like that where it's just like I'm posting a video of me giving a homeless man a bag of McDonald's. Like, just do it. If you're trying to profit off of it for yourself, but that's not what we're doing. We're filming these things because we put the videos out because we're raising money. This is other people's money that we're using to make these things happen. So they should know where the money is going. And I mean, also, in essence, it's costing us way more money than it is. I don't even think it's making any money. No, there is no problem. There is no profit at all. And we have to pay for everything. The transportation. I submitted my my reimbursement for that, by the way. No problem. Yeah. You keep saying we and I'm like, oh, OK, well, I'll send that right back to you. Yeah. But Jesus Christ, I have some more ads here. Oh, you do. Those bananas fucked me up. Yeah. The way he two handed it was gross. Two handing bananas into the rest of the ads. Go ahead. So we do have rocket money here. Rocket money is an all in one personal finance app that's going to put money back in your pocket. They're going to do that in a couple of ways. The first one being they're going to find and cancel unwanted subscriptions that you may have signed up for. Maybe you knew you signed up for it, but now you're realizing I haven't used this in months. I'm just going to cut this off so I could save some money. And not just aimlessly pay for this thing that I'm not really using. It'll help you organize all your stuff. 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I'm surprised you're going Spanish and not French. Why? One, you spend a lot of time up in Canada. Two. Yeah, but none of them are French-speaking. You would love to spend more time in. France? Yeah. I mean, where did you get that? What? You would love to spend more time in France. I think that's a safe assumption, because you enjoyed it when you went. It doesn't mean I want to spend my time there. I said spend more time. I don't think I need to learn French. I wouldn't really use it. It doesn't have a lot of day-to-day application. You don't want to go hang out in Monaco? It's not high on my list, to be honest. Really? Isn't the south of France, like, where people want to go? Yeah. I mean, Monaco is its own thing, but. That's its own country. That's right. Like, I would love to go to Nice. Go. Marseille? Go. Yeah. Versailles? That's a place, right? I know because of the treaty. In France. But, yeah. But, yeah. Spanish, I think, is, you know. I'm shocked you haven't been to Italy yet. I know. It's bad. Your parents. Well, your dad is probably pissed. My parents aren't even Italian. Your dad is. No, they're both. Well, I don't even know. You literally were just saying how your dad smells like prosciutto. Nothing is more Italian than that. What I mean by that is that he's Italian, but he's, like, American. Like, he's not, like, in touch with Italian roots. Do me a favor. Next time you speak with him, just be like, Dad, how do you honestly feel about Christopher Columbus? And see. Like, just report back on how long the answer was. You don't need to tell me what he said. Just how long. I don't think that he's going to have an opinion at all. That's, like. That's, like, a thing. Like, Italian people love him. They love, like, Christopher Columbus. Yeah. Which is. He. Didn't he sail for Spain? Yep. Yeah, but he was Italian. But he was Italian. But he was like, I'm going to. Yeah, I'm going to play for Spain, though. Gotcha. So, it's like Messi playing for Inter-Miami. It's like Messi going and playing for Barcelona. Yeah. Because he's Argentinian, but he went to Spain. Or that's like Lewis Hamilton driving for Mercedes. Or Cadillac. Is Mercedes an American company? I don't think so. I don't know. I think it's Japanese. We can look it up. Is it? I feel like you kind of crushed it. I might be wrong. I might be wrong. I might be wrong. I don't want to make anyone upset. Mercedes? Yeah. I'd love to keep them in good graces just in case they send me an SL. Oh, they're going to be like, you don't know where this is? It's Japanese. No, it's not. It's German. German. Okay. Surprising. Yeah. I think Mitsubishi is Japanese. Mitsubishi is. I mean, it's right there. Hyundai. - Honda, Mitsubishi, those are all Japanese. - Yeah. I feel like you kind of crushed it with the Messi analysis. analogy probably i should have just left it there probably probably because he literally played for spain he quit while i was at can i say something i think we brought it up last time he wore it too that sweatshirt oh you like this yeah i was in love with that dog yeah me too yeah was anyone not there are certain like 90s cartoon icons like like like roxanne uh jessica rabbit but i guess that lola bunny lola bunny dude we did one of the first one of the first patreon episodes we did or maybe it was like a year after i joined was we did like those like cartoon heartthrobs from when we were kids we should revisit that and see how he feels about it because no one knew you're gonna be like oh i love so and so from steven universe we're gonna have to take him off the fucking camera if we do that get too excited oh don't do that yeah the last airbender she's from it's pretty good pull yeah i don't know how that is yeah that's a i haven't watched that show that was like i was cool is that the one with the it's like a bald dude with a an arrow on his head yeah yeah what does the arrow signify that it's an air it's like a purity airbending thing i think it's cara by the way but it's fine kiara i think i think it's cara forgive me it's his birthday let him miss my own stuff they're gonna i'm trying to help that what do you want for your birthday um good question i i'm not like hot dog well yeah i want that always not food wise oh oh that's tough i mean i i just enjoy yeah hanging out yeah he's media trained no i'm serious like i like gifts brother i fucking love don't get me wrong but like i'm not at an age where i'm gonna be like oh i want this this and this and this not that there's a lot of people who are like oh i want this this and this and anything wrong with that it's just not who i am right so like i think i just want to just hang out what about something that doesn't exist like a lego an official lego megazord set or something see but we're getting that soon though oh i mean if you want me to like start naming like things but that's you like lego brother i love legos oh i thought that was like a miles thing it is it's an all of our kids thing it's like a household thing now yeah but becca actually got me last year for my birthday i haven't built it yet it's a lego set of madison square garden whoa it's like not lego branded so i hope they don't fucking like punch me in the face but like lego for what saying it's a lego yeah i mean if anything that's good that's yeah but it's it's an msg one and is it inside or is it just the outdoor it's the whole thing and they took the top off and you could see like the inside okay because i was gonna say the outside feels easy it's so cool it's like this it's a mini mini figs i think or mini bricks oh mini figs oh yeah i don't want to get in trouble going through a whole thing right now yeah what no mini figs is the name of those people but it it might be it might be that well no that's it looks like someone built that like the fogo one the focal one down there to the left this yeah yeah that's it oh that's so cute that's cool yeah dude does it have nicks on it yeah it does sick but i'm gonna try to print that's super cool i'm gonna try to print it yeah so but big you were into legos for a little bit we got you a couple lego sets and then where are you now where are you landing on the lego where are you now in your lego journey uh i haven't done one they got they make some really cool ones yeah bro it's shocking how expensive these fucking brother same brother like the fuck that they just released like the biggest set or it's coming out soon it's like some church in spain or some shit like that did you see that did you see it well i know the church dude look it up it's like i think it's over at that saint but i don't remember i don't know you just do spanish spanish church lego spanish church lego sagrada familia whoa yeah brother look at that that's crazy that shit and it's it's a lot of pieces too i gotta go over over 10 000 pieces dude fuck that dude legos are such 200 that's a steal oh yeah i thought it would be way more than that that that can't no that's that's definitely not official lego there's no way that's official like i agree yeah there's no way there's just no way there's there's just no way go to the lego website there's just no way there's just bro i mean here's the thing though oh it's 800 the reason that lego can get away with it is they make the legitimately best quality and i've never gotten a they're like quality assurance is incredible bro if i bought a lego set for a hundred dollars and there was a missing piece i'm going def kind well you can order just that individual piece and it's like a penny or like eight cents but you have to pay the shipping which is like 16 bucks that's a crazy one it's over 12 000 pieces yo no way and it probably comes in what 100 bags yeah yo that is crazy dude legos are a lot of fun look at some of the like top ones the yo you haven't seen the pokemon ones i want to get this for myself the big pokemon one it's like 600 something piece it's like 600 something bucks but it's the holy trinity hit that search baby what's about pokemon you just type in pokemon what is it you're looking for the holy trinity not the arcanine one which is fire go down baby go down you too go down baby you're gonna see it and you're gonna cream to the left oh 650 brother look at that that's crazy and you could build them each individually how sick is that yeah yeah that's wild let's get joe some legos i'm not gonna do it why it's a lot of time so how you would do it frankie is you would get all of these and then we would make a youtube video about how long it takes for someone to build legos and then that's how you do it oh brother what do you mean like a live stream of yeah doing a lego and now it's you know you don't remember that smosh clip a second lego tower has hit the stream when they build the lego they build the lego tower dude so fucking cool god and then they make it for like movies and shows now have you seen the lord of the rings ones i know that'll get your fucking pants stiff what does that mean uh boner right minas tirith oh yeah baby sauron look at that no down down down down the eye of sauron god these are this is crazy price oh my god the shire is 200 i mean you gotta think their lego is expensive and then they're paying for the licensing so like oh yeah there's a couple bucks in there they made a home alone one see like why is the jaws 150 this is just a boat and a shark yeah i mean that i'm doing in like like hammered in an hour oh this is a good question who could do a thing of legos quicker i don't even know uh me probably shut the fuck up why you think you if you gave me that lego yeah i don't even know we're talking about like comparative lego the the this the church in barcelona i mean that's gonna take anyone a couple hours i think more hours yeah 12 000 pieces i'll probably take about 12 hours there's no way i could sit and do it for 12 hours straight oh the legend of zelda one that ocarina of time one is sick no instructions you just got to build it that would take my whole life it would no dude you'd be you're you you'd surprise yourself with how harry potter you're getting me now harry potter's in there you didn't see the one last page it was sick they have some sign i think that's when we got you we got you the seinfeld one didn't we yeah you see this hogwarts one it's kind of sick it's fire shit is big brother and then they have one that's like diagonally hogsmeade yeah they got them all where do you put this miles has shelving all the time it's like it's like it's like it's like in i mean i didn't show you miles's room because it'd be weird to show you my 11 year old son's bedroom i didn't need to see we were we had a good time without that part i feel like uh now you sound like you and i were doing something like sexual did i imply that we had a good time you guys need a minute um i i feel like this would be a good stream thing every day you sign on and just talk to a chat and you build legos i'll tell you that brother you need to make a couple you need to make a couple bucks to justify streaming that many legos well it's uh i mean i mean look if if if you're doing if you're streaming once a week and that lego set right there the castle and grounds is 170 bucks these are props now you'll be fine oh it's like slow i would only do it for like an hour and a half a day oh and then stop and do another one the next day no no and like you keep coming back to the same one and like build that's boring do it fast do it fast do it fast oh man i love lego dude do you i'm such a slut for stuff like that yeah yeah what are you a little whore for great question what am i a little whore for like right now what are you what are you slutting yourself out for right now fifa there you go i love playing fifa really i i didn't play video games for like legitimately three years and then i started playing fifa again and i'm like i just love this wow i love it so good i mean you could play something that's more like fun and imaginative it's opinions based i love how even in in your video games they have to be like about like conditioning and they're not about conditioning if they made a video game where you could train for a marathon would you play it no you just play that game in real life i think i have a feeling he would where it's like it's called like marathon simulator and you're just like i have to like rapidly press the buttons but then next time i run i can spend my points on like better vo2 max that sucks that sucks we're gonna let it go because it's his birthday thank you i appreciate it uh did you guys hear this thing about these sex robots sex robots on your birthday tell us more not me not me so there was a school in new york that was gonna like put robots in their classrooms and then now they're like to do what help teach i assume oh like a teacher's aid yeah i imagine brother are you letting a robot teach you letting like i don't think i have a choice i mean do you think that a robot will be able to teach you anything or are you just looking at it and just like you're a fucking robot um so i do think that unfortunately i do think that will probably happen at some point in our lives that like a teacher who had who like you can't download all of the lesson plans and whatever into is just going to like teach i don't know how you're gonna like have the human like maybe there will be an absence of the human connection that you have but i mean if any work center you know how i feel about ai and all that but if any work center were to have it integrated the last should be teaching like teachers now are just not real people and they're just ai i again unfortunately i think that's just the way it is and i think that's where we're headed for sure did you would you try to like think you're smarter than the robot i would not uh no but i never thought that i was smarter than any teacher i had i never i did think i was more athletic than my gym teacher in high school though i think you were more athletic than every gym teacher you've ever had that's true because we had an old degree we had an old decrepit greek guy but he would have smoked me i was in fifth grade smoked you in what smoking cigarettes sure not in running definitely would have beat me on that definitely not yeah no i've never had a teacher i'm like oh this person's an idiot no i didn't have that i've had i've had a couple but like i know they weren't idiots now but at the time just being like this dumb ass i think my mom being a teacher helped me be able to like reason more with like them instead of uh like just straight up fear or like it was me versus you kind of thing if that makes sense that's an interesting perspective i feel like i had an opposite experience with that too because i feel like i growing up like when it came to teachers i i did feel like they were kind of like out to get me not like personally just like in general i thought that was like teachers versus students type of thing like not like me personally but there would be times where i'm like like i definitely didn't feel pressure like i have to listen to this person well unfortunately it's because our parents like painted a picture of teachers that were like they're gonna beat the living dog out of us if we don't listen well my my parents definitely you know this is actually kind of weird because i had more of a thing in my head to like any coach growing up i would listen to like blindly like if they told me to do anything i would do it but like a teacher i'd kind of like run it through a filter and be like i don't know do i like should i do that there was more of us i'm kind of with you on that one like there was more of a sense that is that sexism well i guess if you're relating it to their gender but like i had a lot of female teachers growing up yeah but i did have some guys even my male teachers like i felt like my male teachers were more trying to prove that i was an idiot and my coaches were trying to prove that i'm better than i think i am does that make sense which i it was probably the opposite but like yeah i'm with you on that where like this sense of like i always like i felt like my teachers were not on my side quite like my coach was because my coach we would all win if i did well where like my teacher if one of us was an idiot they would be like well that one's an idiot i was definitely not like a problem in school but if a teacher like this happened multiple times in high school where a teacher the the one time that i can remember was it was a male teacher um but i'm sure there are some like internalized sexism in what i'm talking about unfortunately yeah uh but uh my male teacher was like were you just on your phone and i like looked at my phone to like check the time real quick and i was like i was just checking the time and he's like give me your phone and it was on friday and you remember in our high school they would i don't know if they did it by the time you were there but they would hold your phone over the weekend yeah dude and i was literally like i'm like i'm not gonna give you my phone and he's like give me your phone right now and i was like there's no way like in my head i'm like what's it gonna what are you gonna do grab it from my pants like you're not getting it you know like i would never just be like oh it's my teacher i have to do this like i'd be like no like yeah that's that's kind of what i don't know i'm not saying that's good by the way no i honestly i think sticking up for yourself in that sense is actually good like there's there's unreasonable things for sure because also it's like they aren't in charge of this phone over the weekend what if you're doing something and your parents need to contact you or something it's like it's just an unreasonable request i i also i wouldn't give it give it to him if it was tuesday by the way but i think okay i get what you're saying though i think that there is a sense of like anti-authority that kids go through during those teenage years so when it like so when it comes from a teacher like that's who you're with most of the time if you think about it like you're with your teachers more than you are your parents at home for those years so like that's the authority that you're rebelling against the most frequently so when something gets introduced like a coach or something you're a little more at least for me and like you you're a little more willing to like oh this person wants to see me win because we're working toward a common goal it's not like they're trying to single me out and prove that i'm a dumb ass i don't know i i think i think i was just uh socialized into thinking that there was more slack with teachers than there was a coach because it was drilled in my head that like there is no slack like even if they're asking you to do something that that you don't want to do or whatever you do it well when it comes to a coach it's also the team mentality like if i don't do my homework i don't do my homework right if you don't run the right route the whole team is at a loss you know like something gets up on a team perspective yeah but bro i remember i i i mean i loved playing organized sports but like if i was a parent and saw the way that my coaches spoke to me and like our team and i saw them like doing that to my kids now i'd be like yo what the like yo this is crazy yeah like what age are you talking about though uh high school that's tough but like not even just like get your ass up you know because we had that too of course but like there was also some like it was a different time and they would just be like you ugly greek you know like like that yeah wow it was all right it was all good i know that the person didn't mean it that way oh we've had it brother i've never had that we've had it like hard and like yeah i mean there was just no room for anything like with sports it was like you do the thing or you don't do like you there there wasn't even a choice you know i guess in sports like if you're slacking you're wasting everyone else's time in a school if you're not doing it you're just wasting your own time that's not but that's like not why i'm no like that's like that wasn't i i it was it was more of like a just a reaction like i just knew that like i wasn't thinking of like well if i don't do this then everyone's uh you know suffers or whatever like i wasn't even thinking about that like with school i also was just kind of like again i would listen to my teachers i was a good student like my entire like academic career but in the times that i would like get in trouble i would run it through a filter of being like is this a big deal sometimes i'd be like bro what i also think the content that we were learning like it immediately like the first thing to do is immediately just think like why the do i like why do you care so much that i didn't do my homework on the industrial revolution i'm never going to use this like it's easier but then like the stuff that you take from a team setting like socially and in in a work setting you are probably more likely to use it so like immediately you're just like why the do i care about you know proper syntax in a sentence like i i'm not going to use it yeah it's to teach like discipline obviously in homework the the tricky thing joe was caught in is that he already had the discipline just for the things he wanted to do right so he found out this is boring there are some kids that need that like structured discipline of like homework because they don't already have it in them and that's like joe was just in a tough situation in school where i don't know what that was i mean i think that it's because i also in high school i had a male teacher that i felt like didn't with me so i just like didn't with him and there were multiple times where he would like yell at me for things but it felt like i've done something wrong but your reaction is out of control and i my parents got so mad at me once because they found out that i told them to chill like they were so mad that i said that to a teacher but like so in that instance right i forget what i did maybe i was talking to someone or something or whatever and he freaked out on me and at the time i believe that he was freaking out on me because he just like didn't like me so he like freaked out on me and i was just like yo chill and he was not happy about that told my parents my parents were livid that i did that i would never dream of saying that to a coach like if they were freaking out be like yo chill i would never dream of doing that that's interesting yeah that that is interesting i also think that like i forgot my thought yep miracles you saw it you might still be able to grab it it's not it's not it can't be that far i mean i'm not jumping for it it's my birthday do you believe that thoughts are physical and they're floating yes we've talked about this he he were oh he's talking about neurons though that was a different thing yeah but it's the same it's energy it's going you can probably get it back i think the point that i was going to try to make was just like i think that there's also like a little bit of the coach is just like they're not doing it in a like work they're doing it because they want to do it you know what i mean like you know what i mean a teacher it's like their their their job is forcing them to be this strict and it's just like it feels less personal you know what i mean or at least maybe that's the way that i'm completely misinterpreted there's also a huge part of this that we're forgetting that like these teachers were overworked underpaid yeah underappreciated too so like if they were losing their mind on one of their 400 students like it made fucking sense no yeah sure you know numbers wise it just makes sense that they're going to lose their cool yeah and then be told to chill by 14 year old joey wearing uh you know i was wearing a uniform at the time oh that's right high school high school baby crazy but yeah man that was my guy though by the by the time i left high school drop him drop drop him drop his name what's mr hamilton hamilton yeah you know he you know what and my what was his first name what was his first name alex alex no l-e-x-a-n-d i don't remember his name but his name is mr hamilton and like the first uh my freshman year i had him and that's when i was like this dude doesn't fuck with me at all and and he could have failed me because my grades weren't great um for that and passing our school was fucking 75 yeah that's crazy ours was 65 and then it went down really but i uh i think if you got a 55 in our school they would just be like this isn't even going on they would shoot you in the face yeah but i remember i could have failed and i was like we had to take regents i believe our freshman year so i was taking the regents and i like did okay on that like bet like i think i got like an 83 or something like that and he like bumped my grade so that i wouldn't go to summer school so i was hype about that and then the first day of the year i come to school and i have him again and we both kind of looked at each other like happens and then we had another run in but then after that i didn't have him anymore and then we were super cool yeah i i i've i've said i was i was a pain in the ass for a couple years but i do genuinely and and if it were just coming from me i could see you guys calling it bullshit my mom agrees with me on this which you know my mom loves teachers like i was kind of singled out as a troublemaker not saying that i was not to some degree a but like those years that i was at baccalaureate i was like they made it a thing to be like bro yeah because you're the easiest example to be like you have to make an example of you exactly but you stood out amongst all of those i stood out i mean i'm not going to get into the weeds of it because that's another conversation for another time but like yes exactly yeah you were like a ringleader i was popular like i i i was i was i was me i was the man yeah i didn't think they could catch me i wasn't like just the personality and the loud shirts and the boisterous it's starting to sound like was it how you looked or how you acted now i'm confused it was a column a column b like it was a little bit of both at certain times got it take all of column b oh don't yeah i'm not don't freshman year i just didn't go to school on fridays i was like i just don't want to do it that's that's psychotic can i ask you a serious question i was fine do you ever wish that you knew him in high school i would have never i'm saying if you were at school at the same time oh we're same year yeah what would that do just like see because like you're such a mystery to me i would have liked what he was i probably would have been the only one liking what he was doing what the hell is that what is that what was he oh you weren't doing it no i was i thought he's talking about making videos oh i was gonna say what was he doing you weren't doing it in high school yeah yeah i wasn't really doing it in high school i was like just kind of fucking around or whatever i'll tell you this though if you thought i was popular in high school i was not like people it's kind of tough in the high school we went to it's like you're popular in sections it's like there's there's a lot of kids in that yeah that's like there was no like that's the pop like if people were like the captain of the football team like yeah for sure yeah but like he's being humble everyone knew joe sanagato all right everyone i'm telling you like completely not true it is absolutely true we had 2 000 students brother i remember because i knew people that you went to school with like i knew like peep everyone knew you and like you were very popular all right i'm not saying that i wasn't popular a person that you would know but it wasn't like you know the whole school's like look at that guy well no that doesn't happen week no one was like amazed at your physical stature i was i was a tiny little boy wow look it's joe sanagato oh my god he's got to be 120 oh my god he's smoking hot and a hundred pounds yeah a hundred pounds probably really fast the way that he wears those all black strawberries is so impressive we need a to do that yeah i never what did i wear all black shoes right you're saying yeah you had to i got away with a little bit of color they probably got more lenient now they have like cool stuff apparently yeah that's cool yeah well i don't know now yeah a little a little far removed now what are you gonna do well look happy birthday frank thank you so much i appreciate years old now uh ants turning 30 when's your birthday again january 16th oh we're never oh that's yeah it's forever oh that's your 30th birthday my 30th yeah i'm gonna punch you in the face with a cake that's january 15th i'm not gonna say anything we're gonna bring you out and just pistol whip you on i'm just i'm just putting it out there in the universe i'm just frank apparently has a violent gift for you yeah i don't know i don't know what it is but it's coming i got him a beautiful button i'm getting pistol whip you did this that's the only thing they had that's fair i do appreciate it and you know me i'll keep these forever i'll write on the back 34 and then i'll keep them forever eventually look back and be like why the fuck into a bin they will go as is everything else that's right if that's the right way to say that sentence but anyway thank you guys for sticking around frank where can they find you the frank alvarez everywhere patreon.com slash the basement yard if you're coming to any of the shows which you could see the shows on the basement yard.com go to the basement yard dots uh.com slash submit the basement yard.com slash submit to submit your your picture for the shows we're really excited aunt aunt prisco on instagram i'm also thinking about making a tiktok oh you don't have one no and don't think i forgot you're also on the other show that too uh we're starting a war i'm telling you you guys can follow me at joe sanagal go follow the show on tiktok and instagram at the basement yard and that is all see you guys next time