#565 - Are We Ready For Pie?!

late night bites with friends already hard to beat that first too hot bite of fries you couldn't wait for followed by ice cold pepsi now that hits different suddenly the energy kicks back in the night goes longer and the laughs don't stop because pepsi brings out more flavor more fun and more of the moment food deserves pepsi grab a pepsi zero sugar today welcome back to the we were live you can bring us right in from that welcome back to the basement yard hello that's pretty good that was pretty good we said are we putting that in there we should no no no no no do you i mean i could do it again actually i probably can't the lights are on what could that be it's whatever i wanted was that you do when you're shy i guess it was a little you don't act normal when you're shy i guess like you're just like some things just like what do you no all right don't look at me like i'm an idiot i'm taking it in i guess well how would you how would you do shy quiet air yeah just not making a squealing noise you don't got like a well what was this why'd you go rizzler there also what else were you making over there you little piggy that wasn't that that wasn't my noise i'm not necessarily with the pig you squealed but like that's not necessarily a noise i'm making that's my that might be the noise i'm hearing in my head like like leave me alone you know what i mean you are making the noise though yeah but i'm doing it to convey it to you oh you're saying that in your head in real life like ask me to ask me to be shy you want me to just ask you yeah i mean that's what i'm doing be shy in my head it's the squeal is that physically what happens when you're shy though i i'll be honest with you i don't i don't i can't remember being shy ever i think when i'm shy i rock back and forth on my my feet like i go from the tips to the heels a lot like what's the last time you were shy i don't know when i'm shy i really just i'm just like just don't look at me like i don't want to look at me i don't want to be bothered quiet i'm gonna ask a really weird question and and i hope you guys will follow me here sure shy is one of those words welcome back shy is one of those words that like we've used it so much but i struggle being able to accurately define it shy yeah like at the time i was like i don't know what i'm doing i don't know what i'm do you know what i mean but by that by like there are some words that like i we use we know it's like we know what they mean but like if you were to ask me to define it i don't think i could because i think that the word is like what it is it's kind of like shy is the word for that act like you're like yeah but uncomfortable still it's just like i can't define it i know it you know what i mean because it's the word i think that's why it's because like because the definition is the word itself yeah but it's like the definition is the word itself yeah but it's like an uncomfortable unfamiliar so your reservation yeah you're like being more conservative like you close you start closing a little bit yeah yeah i guess i it's just one of those things but like i i can't remember the last time i was shy i think the first time i met becca i was a little shy but after that i can't i feel like you're not a shy guy i'm not a shy guy not a shy guy not a shy guy like i remember feeling a little shy the first time her and i met but like i had to play it up you know what i mean like you haven't been shy since then i find that hard to believe i can't think of when i don't know what probably happens in moments like flat like shy like not like a year of your life yeah i was shy back in 2008 if we're thinking of shy in terms of like like you like i i kind of associate shyness with like there's an un an inability to put yourself out there like i don't recall ever you've never been in a room where it's like i don't really know anyone in here it's kind of like so there's like a shyness there i guess i don't because i guess in that regard i feel more compelled to want to to like instead of being like i don't know anyone here i'm going to kind of go in my shell i feel more of a like all right i guess i should probably meet people open up yeah yeah you know what i mean open wide you know but there's a shyness in the beginning it's kind of like oh i don't know anyone here and you're like ah but then you gotta like yeah maybe yeah can you get in you don't know anybody like hi you know hi and then you're like yo hi i'm frank yeah yeah that's a very like 90s way of putting shy like hi i'm back here frank you just went like this and squealed like a little pig the squeal was internal i don't know why it's outternal we heard it you heard it because i was doing it for you and our audio listeners uh do it one more time oh like with the external shit with the yeah let's go with the shriek those weren't shy eyes yeah you're like horny eyes no way a little bit a little bit no way i don't think you horny eyes when would you ever have seen those um i mean i have i i've been at a restaurant with you when the creme brulee comes around honestly that's a really really great point but that's a different horny that's like a food that's a food horny right but like shy is like a now that we got that stuff okay i'll tell you it might not be shy but it's shy look at that little thing you got back there look at the award that came baby this is a big basher i could kill someone with that brother you have why have you immediately thought of that though why because of the weight of it it is super heavy like if someone came in here was like give me all your money and i beat them over the head with this they're dead be really honest with me about something would you have liked it less if it came and you're like this is kind of light yeah yeah i would too because it would feel like cheap yeah exactly but she's a heavy bitch she she's got some some weight and girth she's robust that for those of you guys that may for some reason not know we received an award at the iheart podcast awards for the best duo and podcasting well it says ensemble i know it does but we have to make sure it's duo oh wow i'll scratch it out i'll scratch that bitch out frank doesn't want you involved that's not true i love that you're involved and i'm very appreciative and i tell you that often i gotta cover my fucking ground because i make one joke about this kid and fucking you that's it it's over i got joey and greg calling me like hey man you might never happen you might want to be nicer and colony you know they'll come they'll come scurrying step on are you the queen ant yeah you are you know and you should be proud of that because you've earned that what's it they did say they were gonna send multiple i only saw one uh yeah i did not say that yes i did no did they i specifically asked and they said yeah of course we'll send multiple a bunch i believe oh well well only got that one yeah they only got one and it was sent to joey it's a rifle spot well i i sent it to my apartment so that it wouldn't get sent here because sometimes it's a little funky with the mail fair i mean you could have had if we win another one can you have it sent to me and then i'll bring it in i promise i swear thanks all right cool if we are so lucky to get nominated and and awarded next year or the year after however many times how humble of you yeah i said if we get so lucky i know that's what i said that is humble that's why i said that i want to make sure okay um but anyway you just got back from a lovely vacation yes i did you're in first family vacation turks and cacos both of them i was in turks and cacos i will tell you this you know how i am with with travel still there you want to at one point i said out loud i need to get off this fucking plane right now oh wow yeah i apologize to my daughters who might have heard it why were you so because we landed 20 minutes early and then they said there's no gate for us we have to wait and we ended up waiting on the tarmac for 45 minutes i heard no gay for us no gate oh you said gate oh no yeah gates oh yeah it sounded like you said there's no gay for us i was like i demanded three i needed more gay got to the resort no gay for us um i mean to my knowledge there were no gays either oh for that that were made statistically there was gays of course um but there was no gate so how long were you waiting so we waited on the tarmac for 40 minutes and i i i called the the person i didn't say i didn't say you called over the flight attendant yeah and i said did you press the button of course i did oh my god how else am i getting them over oh my god and i go yeah and i said uh any update and they go we'll tell them to and they made an update that there's no update they made an announcement there's no update yeah and then it was another 10 minutes and i said i need to get off this plane right the fuck now you said that to the flight attendant no no i said it out loud to your to myself yeah i said i put i put the thoughts yeah speak to the universe and it will speak back exactly i manifested and did it work there we were off there in another 10 minutes not bad so it worked kind of right yeah uh but yeah it was a our first trip with the kids and uh i i i went in the ocean You clap too, right now Thank you so much, keep going You don't really do that Are you changing? I think I have a reason To go into the ocean at Turks and Caicos Yo, jokes aside I know people say this Yo, that beach is fucking crazy Yeah Like, I've never seen white sand Yeah You know what I mean? Like, it's been like, beige or a dark brown or something Yeah Yo, and that water? Blue Brother? Blue Abadi Abadai, let me tell ya Yeah Because that shit was like, blinding blue So you were like, I'm gonna go check this out Yeah, I didn't go past Like, if I stood up, it was at my waist But I sat on my butt and I just kind of like Played around I hung out with the kids Because I didn't want them going that far Like, Miles and Becca went out a little farther And And then they come back Yo, did I tell you this? They rented snorkel equipment Hell yeah And they snorkeled, brother Fuck yeah I will say this I don't think I've done many things to give my wife the ick If she heard me with the snorkel in my mouth She would have not been sexually attracted to me Would you You were snorkeling as well? They like, went snorkeling And they were like, oh my god Like, it's so beautiful It's so peaceful Like, there's like a sense of just like, release From what Becca was explaining to me Yeah They saw a bunch of fish First of all, she comes over and she goes Oh my god, it was so cool We saw a barracuda I go, ooh, let's talk about this on the land Though Oh, you don't like barracudas? First of all, the only barracuda I've ever liked Is the team of blue barracudas in Legends of the Hidden Temple I also wouldn't know what a barracuda is I know it kind of looks like an eel and it's got teeth But are they like, they'll come after me? They'll get ya They will get ya Can it, it can't hurt me, right? It'll take a chunk out of your thumped But can it? I'll, but I It's not a I'll survive You'll survive, but you won't be happy with the damage it hath done Right You know, like, pull up a picture of a barracuda These bitches are not the smallest And they've got teeth on them Are they quick? They're in the ocean Yeah, they're all quick They're in the ocean So like, that's like Oh, fuck, that's way different than what I was picturing I feel like this is a good That's a big barracuda, brother It's a good reference It's only got like seven teeth, though No, bro Ooh, barracuda Did you see what it did to Nemo's mom? Was that a barracuda? Yeah It was Nemo's mom What was her name? I don't even care I don't even care Why am I asking that? Like, that's the thing that I have Joe, this is messing you up, dude Yeah, big time But they go, ooh, barracuda We saw a barracuda, it was so cool I was like, let's go talk about this on the land So you got scared Of course I got scared Bro, what? But then, when did you put on the snorkel gear? Oh, they were like, oh, Miles was like, please come with me And I was like, alright I got scared I gotta Be a man I gotta be tough daddy now Yeah You know, so tough daddy had to show up But my breathing was Not good I'm telling you right now I said to Becca, I was like, if you had heard that You would have What did it sound like? It was like when Darth Vader had like half his mask blown off Well, dude, like, I don't It's not I'm not used to breathing out of my mouth Out of a tube You know what I mean? So like, and I'm like swimming And I'm in an uncle's house In an uncomfortable position Because I'm in the ocean So I'm like Do you see anything cool? Uh, yeah, there was a school of fish Hell yeah But I thought it was not cool So I was like, we should go back I'm hungry Why, does fish scare you? The idea of being amongst a thing Like amongst a group of something Where it's like potentially thousands to my one No matter the size of them Is not cool What? What about when we go on tour? And? There's thousands of people If you were to put, but like I'm in the environment of people Like there, I have a sense of control there Like But you're saying you, we You'd be uncomfortable if we went on tour And everyone in the stands was fish Put it like this Put it like Yeah Yes, I would If we did a show for an aquarium Yeah, like a sea world show I would be like, this is cool But like, there is something here that's scary Bro, by the way You know, sea world is putting on concerts nowadays Bro, ones that you would go to I saw, it was like the Ying Yang twins That shit looked I saw D-Rock and Kane And I was like, yo, honestly I would be there Although, we don't support sea world No Concerts though The artists that they hire, I'm pumped about Yeah But the way in which they make The way in which they make the money Fuck that How about that? Listen, sea world You gotta let those Fish out, bro Let the whales be a whale Let the fucking whales out Let them swim around I have If there are any Like, anti-sea world Companies looking for a slogan I got one for you Hey, sea world Dump them out I was gonna say Hey, sea world Let them see the world That's way better Sea world dump them out's not bad either Sea world dump them out is kind of playful and shit too Like, yo, sea world Dump them out Yeah, dump the fucking dolphins out Dump, like, let them I fuck with dolphins Oh, yeah, I fuck with dolphins But, like, yeah, so, I was in the ocean And it was, like, it was cool where I was But going out further, I was, like, not They had, like, people, like, vendors, like, bringing people parasailing, like, out I'm good on parasailing Also, just, like, they're, like, you could sign up for, like, excursions where we bring you, like, an hour off land And you swim around For an hour No Do you see anything cool? I imagine they do it because there's cool things about Oh, my God, if I can go out there and see, like, a fucking whale Have you ever been to the Caribbean? Caribbean? I don't know which is, like, right No, I haven't I'm surprised Like, that seems like your trip I know you've been Not a big beach I mean, I would do it, for sure But, like, they also, like, we stayed at a resort They had stuff on the resort for the kids And for us, that was pretty cool Yeah But, like, I don't know Those vacations always struck me as more of, like, a family thing Yeah, but they have, like, uh And I'm not saying I'm not trying to be insulting in saying this But, like, they have, like, a Ritz Carlton And, like No, I know Like, I don't mean that in a disrespectful way You know I'll jump at the opportunity to call you Rich Billionaire Joe But, like, things that are more tailored for a non-family trip So, Frankie got there He had to, you know, shill out vacation packages Did I? No, I didn't Wait, what? I don't get it You're trying to get him to go And you get a piece And that's how you got free to go there It was a joke Never mind No, I Let me be very clear about something This trip costs some dollars Okay, like Timeshares Uh, it It was It was a couple bucks And Did you Did you have a day where you're like I'm getting everything on the menu A day? All day? Every day Did you have any, like, cool drinks? Did you get a pina colada? Don't fucking piss me off You're damn right I got a pina colada Don't fucking talk about it You're damn fucking right, baby Yeah More frozen Frozen shit every day Not every day Because honestly, like Sugary It was It was too much It was too much And everything there It's so consistently hot Like, you get something frozen It's melted in ten minutes But you gotta You gotta crush a pina colada There was a pina colada Uh, there was They had a brewery there Whoa That, like, their, like, resort Had, like, their beer Very good Nice I enjoyed it Um Oh, what's What's What's better than an ice cold beer On a hot day on a beach? I'll tell you this, though Daddy re-found his love for mint mojitos Yo, mojitos are up there Dude This fucker loves them Dude, I am so Like, I remember being such a bitch For a mint mojito And then it went away It, like, disappeared It, like, went off to college And then now I'm fully, like Engrained in the life of a mint mojito I am so back Is there a reason why you're saying mint mojito? You can do, like, berry mojitos Oh, I thought they were all No, I think the mojito is Kind of like a blanket term That could be used for some different Like, different flavors I'm good with just straight mint lime mojito I saw this video the other day I'm curious to get your Probably not yours Because you have a disgusting Alcohol palate Um, but I enjoy You know what? You just had, like, a Jameson And fucking water or whatever Let me get a Jameson and tap water, please What would you like, sir? Ooh I'll have Jameson and tap water Just rub the floor with a sponge No, but, uh I saw this video where it was, like The espresso martini had its moment Then the Aperol spritz Like, what's gonna be next or whatever And I don't know if you guys ever had one of these But you ever have a Hugo spritz? Not only have I not had that If someone told I've not heard of that And if someone told me Order the Hugo spritz I'd be like How stupid do you think I am? Because that's what I'm saying That sounds like a drink that came with, like A cigarette put out in it No, it's delicious Look at the Hugo spritz Have you had a Hugo? Hugo Like an old Croatian man? The Hugo spritz It is two parts vodka It is three parts put out cigarette St. Germain, yeah Half ounce elderflower liqueur Oh, I don't hate that Prosecco, sparkling water Fresh mint leaves Oh, I'm in And then I'm so in when I saw mint Bro, it's good It's like, is that, what is St. Germain? is that a gin it's a liqueur yeah so like that shit is good bro i had one when i was in portugal and i'm like i really gotta do this more dude i've never i've never heard of one i've never had one i'll tell you this the name is basically what are you picturing when you say hugo first of all what am i picturing that fucking weird movie that martin scorsese made years ago where it was like just like a old it was like a white kid running through a clock or some stupid shit i have no idea what you're talking about look at the movie hugo no oh look up hugo hugo hugo movie fuck this shit there is a kid with a clock looks peter pan you know what i'm talking about i think isn't that the kid that isn't that asa butterfield the kid that was in sex education is that him and chloe grace moretz and ben kingsley and sasha baron cohen do you see why the drink sounds like shit well you're you're oh here's a drink made by ben kingsley well that's not how drinks work i know here's a drink made by a fucking bell the perfect lunch combo that first bite of your favorite sub followed by ice cold pepsi add a couple of friends and now that's next level suddenly the laughs get louder the stories keep flowing and the food tastes better because pepsi brings out more flavor more fun and more of the moment food deserves pepsi grab a pepsi zero sugar today up in a hat and it's sasha baron cohen just try the hugo spritz and shut it honestly that does sound really really refreshing it was really nice i've had one yeah did you like it no yes i did i will say i spritz on a hot day dude love that yeah i think the word spritz just it's like because it's like you know what i mean like it sounds like it's a good like it's it's refreshing because when you want you want to you want to be spritzed well sprit on me you want to be sprat sprat on me i uh i like i like getting a spritz starting off with a spray apparel spritz unbelievably overrated i like them uh so overrated i this could i could see this jumping to the top look up other spritzes because apparel there's a spritz at a bar near here it's watermelon and rhubarb rhubarb you know you see i'm i don't like rhubarb i don't like rhubarb because it's it's literal poison if you don't like it you don't like it you don't like it you don't like it you don't like it you don't like it you don't like it if not prepared and if not prepared and if not prepared and given to you the right way skews rhubarb is given to you the right way skews rhubarb is given to you the right way skews rhubarb is poison poison poison but like it you need to have it in like a but like it you need to have it in like a but like it you need to have it in like a certain way or a cooked or prepared in a certain way or a cooked or prepared in a certain way or a cooked or prepared in a certain way or something in some capacity certain way or something in some capacity certain way or something in some capacity that it doesn't kill you let's uh that it doesn't kill you let's uh that it doesn't kill you let's uh yeah i'll figure out if that's right yeah i'll figure out if that's right yeah i'll figure out if that's right what am i saying is rhubarb poisonous what am i saying is rhubarb poisonous what am i saying is rhubarb poisonous oh yeah partially poisonous while the oh yeah partially poisonous while the oh yeah partially poisonous while the stocks are perfectly safe and edible the stocks are perfectly safe and edible the stocks are perfectly safe and edible the large green leaves contain high levels large green leaves contain high levels large green leaves contain high levels of some acid i actually thought you guys of some acid i actually thought you guys of some acid i actually thought you guys were talking about the concrete thing were talking about the concrete thing were talking about the concrete thing rebar rebar rebar no asphalt no iron rebar or steel no asphalt no iron rebar or steel no asphalt no iron rebar or steel whatever it is composed of is not whatever it is composed of is not whatever it is composed of is not poisonous because it's a metal poisonous because it's a metal poisonous because it's a metal um um um yeah i never i i've never heard of this yeah i never i i've never heard of this yeah i never i i've never heard of this like would you eat the would you eat the like would you eat the would you eat the like would you eat the would you eat the puffer fish puffer fish puffer fish oh i don't know that's a really good oh i don't know that's a really good oh i don't know that's a really good question i honestly i don't know if i question i honestly i don't know if i question i honestly i don't know if i went and it was like this is one of the went and it was like this is one of the went and it was like this is one of the three japanese chefs that can make this three japanese chefs that can make this three japanese chefs that can make this i might i might i might i might i might i might it depends where i am i'm adventurous it depends where i am i'm adventurous it depends where i am i'm adventurous with food with food with food honestly adventurous with food i am the honestly adventurous with food i am the honestly adventurous with food i am the biggest pitch with everything else biggest pitch with everything else biggest pitch with everything else i am too but i just you know putting me i am too but i just you know putting me i am too but i just you know putting me down via puffer fish would be insane if down via puffer fish would be insane if down via puffer fish would be insane if joe if joe came back or we found out oh joe if joe came back or we found out oh joe went down because he had puffer fish joe went down because he had puffer fish joe went down because he had puffer fish we'd be like well you just know yeah we'd be like well you just know yeah we'd be like well you just know yeah he's so mad right now he's oh yeah he's so mad right now he's oh yeah he's so mad right now he's oh yeah which i would be so pissed off that which i would be so pissed off that which i would be so pissed off that would be the part i'd be sad but like would be the part i'd be sad but like would be the part i'd be sad but like also i'd be like damn he's not happy also i'd be like damn he's not happy also i'd be like damn he's not happy he's dead right now dude i'd be so he's dead right now dude i'd be so pissed off i'd be at god's hr desk wait pissed off i'd be at god's hr desk wait pissed off i'd be at god's hr desk wait so what are the others so what are the others so what are the others so apparel spritz sounds great overrated so apparel spritz sounds great overrated so apparel spritz sounds great overrated hugo spritz sounds awful hugo spritz sounds awful hugo spritz sounds awful name-wise but the drink composition name-wise but the drink composition name-wise but the drink composition looks like it would be amazing it's looks like it would be amazing it's looks like it would be amazing it's great i mean you can make anything as great i mean you can make anything as great i mean you can make anything as spritz really what makes it a spritz is spritz really what makes it a spritz is spritz really what makes it a spritz is it the inclusion of the prosecco yeah it the inclusion of the prosecco yeah it the inclusion of the prosecco yeah it's like prosecco uh like sparkling it's like prosecco uh like sparkling it's like prosecco uh like sparkling water like club soda what was that thing water like club soda what was that thing water like club soda what was that thing from uh a negroni spritz what was that from uh a negroni spritz what was that from uh a negroni spritz what was that the the thing from the the spagliato the the thing from the the spagliato the the thing from the the spagliato yes with prosecco the actors that were yes with prosecco the actors that were in house of the dragon oh yeah is that a in house of the dragon oh yeah is that a in house of the dragon oh yeah is that a spritz spritz spritz technically because of the addition of technically because of the addition of technically because of the addition of prosecco um prosecco um prosecco um campari spritz look at this campari spritz look at this campari spritz look at this shoot your shoot your face campari wow shoot your shoot your face campari wow shoot your shoot your face campari wow i am just not a big campari guy um i am just not a big campari guy um i am just not a big campari guy um limoncello spritz okay limoncello spritz okay limoncello spritz okay vermouth bicicletta oh a classic italian vermouth bicicletta oh a classic italian vermouth bicicletta oh a classic italian variation using dry white wine variation using dry white wine variation using dry white wine okay but there is there is again though okay but there is there is again though okay but there is there is again though spritz is spritzes i'm in hold on spritz is spritzes i'm in hold on spritz is spritzes i'm in hold on synar spritz this sounds like a robot synar spritz this sounds like a robot synar spritz this sounds like a robot from mortal kombat i'm in from mortal kombat i'm in from mortal kombat i'm in an earthy complex option made with an earthy complex option made with an earthy complex option made with synar don't know what that is synar don't know what that is synar don't know what that is flavored with artichoke leaves yeah get flavored with artichoke leaves yeah get flavored with artichoke leaves yeah get the fuck you know that's the fuck you know that's the fuck you know that's i like artichoke i do too but like not to i like artichoke i do too but like not to i like artichoke i do too but like not to drink drink drink how do you feel about like cocktails how do you feel about like cocktails how do you feel about like cocktails that throw like food in there that throw like food in there that throw like food in there like that only the bloody mary does that like that only the bloody mary does that like that only the bloody mary does that i mean we just saw a version flavored i mean we just saw a version flavored i mean we just saw a version flavored with it i don't think there's like in with it i don't think there's like in with it i don't think there's like in the cup i mean i imagine they do that the cup i mean i imagine they do that the cup i mean i imagine they do that like look like that with tomatoes i like look like that with tomatoes i like look like that with tomatoes i enjoy tomato spritz i cannot hate that enjoy tomato spritz i cannot hate that enjoy tomato spritz i cannot hate that that sounds disgusting i do enjoy garnish that sounds disgusting i do enjoy garnish that sounds disgusting i do enjoy garnish i like when a drink feels like a little i like when a drink feels like a little i like when a drink feels like a little piece of art piece of art piece of art you know what i mean i like that as well But there is a level to it. Like, I want to see the art. I don't want to see it made. Like, that's one of those situations. Like, don't show me your sausage. Just show me what it's done. No, I love when a bartender pulls out the mint and he's just like. No, because I get so, like, we've talked about this. I get so grossed out by bartenders. Touching everything? But, like, they'll just, like. You, like, and they're, like. Why does that gross you out? It's just weird. Like, I know that I'm going to be. They're mixing a drink. I know, but, like, this. Like, you suck. You know what I mean? Like, how else are you going to mix this? I know, but, like, know that what you're doing is ridiculous. We just had a conversation about fucking, what is it? Self-awareness. I don't know, man. I'm not on the same team. The thing that I find a little bit gross is, like, oh, they're touching all my. My garnish is just, like, their hand. And they're, like, expressing it and then just putting their fingers basically in it. Yeah, but there's a certain, like. Yeah. You're making a drink and, like, there's a certain playfulness you need to have to it. When you take it, like, when it's too artistic for me, I'm, like, dude, it's alcohol. You're making poison. Yeah. You are. Like, you are. Like, that's, you know, it's, like, oh, wow, the artistry behind this crystal meth is incredible. I mean, there absolutely is an artistry to making drinks. I agree. That's like saying you don't care about your food and how that's presented. But, like, the person themselves need to have these. So, what about food? Like, you also need to just realize, like, you need to have. Frank wants his dinner. Just fucking throw it on the plate. I don't give a fuck. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what I am saying. You know what he would like? Less effort. No, no. How about the bartender stop doing their jobs? See, what you're doing right now is you're fucking putting words in my mouth. If you just for 10 seconds, for once in your life, shut your fucking mouth and listen to me, you'll hear what I'm saying. I am saying they can have. I don't care the artistry behind it, but when they don't have the wherewithal to realize, like, this is ridiculous, I'm making a drink. Why is that ridiculous? I don't even think they're doing anything outrageous. Because there's a certain ridiculousness to it. What are they doing that's ridiculous? Shaking it? But it's just like, you need to, like, when they take the spoon and they, like, swirl it, like, in between their fingers, like, they're. I have never seen a bartender do that. Oh, there are people that do, like, there are TikTok accounts that I've seen. You know what I'm talking about. Maybe not because you exclusively drink at places. I'm just saying, when they get, like, too into it, it just, like, I see it. I'm just like, dude, you know, like, just be playful. Know what you're doing. That's being playful. No, but, like, there's a. Oh, no, by you. Something that you'll enjoy. Yes. Only you. Yes. What I enjoy is crafted by me. Not you. Step outside of yourself, buddy. Step outside of yourself right now. I think the word that I'm looking for, it's, like, it's such a fine. Fine line between, like, being whimsical and being, like, a bit of a dork. This is personally bad take. Personally, it's a bad take, right? I personally feel like I know that there are people. There's a sect of people that feel like bartenders are going over the top. Because, yes, when people are like, can I get a drink? And they start throwing the bottle and catching it and doing this. Yes. Like, to me personally, I'm in. Yeah. This is a bonus. For me. Cool. I mean, if it's a 10-minute show, let's wrap it up here. But, like, if you're doing it and it's kind of like whatever, cool. I have no problem with that. I definitely don't have a problem with shaking my drink. I see the shaking. And you'd like them to be like. You know what? You know what? This is ridiculous. No, no, no, no. That's not what I'm saying. But, like, the idea that they're giving me something and they're like, you should be honored that I'm giving it to you. How could you possibly feel that way? it's on their menu you order it they make it i know i know i know listen i'm aware in this moment that i might be being a little insane but for the sake of the conversation like i think that there's like there's almost like a sir i've been to bars where the bartenders have a certain like arrogance to them and like it's like dude you're just like i i value and respect what you're doing but like don't believe that because you're doing something you're now the most like tortured soul artist in the world i'm so confused i've never seen a bar oh forgive me that i guess i am i am of what places are you going to i'm not saying going now in my life have been to places like that i have never seen i feel like i feel like frankie if he came in literally tomorrow and you asked him the same question he might be on the other side but that's the beauty zoom in tight that's the beauty of this country in this world yes we get the opportunity to one day with our current experiences have one opinion and the next day experience something that brings us elsewhere on that opinionated spectrum and that is a beautiful place to live in and that is a beautiful place now if you want me to just be spanked by the fucking opinion gods over here then so be it but i like that my opinions on life could be fluid so yes maybe tomorrow i come in with something different so now that we know that you are fully spanked we do have some sponsors for today's episode uh this podcast is sponsored by better help better help is online therapy so if you need to get some therapy better help has you covered they can get you onboarded in just under 48 hours and also help you find the right fit for you okay so you can transfer from therapist to therapist to make sure you're finding the right person that vibes with you and your situation and help you out i've been in therapy for years now i think that it's very important that people do it i think anyone could benefit from it and not just people who are in therapy but also people who are in that are maybe going through something traumatic i think that it's just a going to the gym for your mind it's really good i love it so i had therapy today uh but anyway you can go check out uh better help they have over 30 000 therapists it's the number one uh largest therapy platform in the world and yeah you can sign up and save some money get 10 off at betterhelp.com slash basement yard that is betterhelp.com slash basement yard get 10 off of your therapy all right so enjoy that folks uh and we also have hymns okay hymns offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work including chews oral medication serums and sprays okay prescription strength ingredients like finasteride and minoxidil can help prevent further hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months all right so they have a bunch of different things you want to go and find out what's best for you they have once a day stuff that you can use to help you with your uh hair loss or or regrowing your hair in as little as three to six months um but yeah it's all about finding the right treatment for you it's straightforward and transparent and designed to make you know getting the care feel easy and for simple online access to personal personalized and affordable uh care for hair loss ed weight loss and more visit hymns.com slash basement that is hymns.com slash basement for your free online visit featured products include compounded drug products which the fda does not approve or verify for safety effectiveness or quality prescription required individual results may vary see website for full details restrictions and important safety information well him hers they thems however you choose to identify you know what you're gonna love the basement yard patreon baby patreon.com slash the basement yard is the service that we use where we give you guys a little bit of us a little sooner and a little bit extra it's honestly a little fun and you can go check it out patreon.com slash the base we are take a gander at the different tiers that we got there because that first tier that's going to get you these weekly episodes one whole week in advance seven whole days ahead of people that are non-patrons and then that second tier well that's where you're going to get exclusive episodes every single friday that i will tell you transparently and candidly often get off the rails and if you think that there's somehow that this show can get more off the rails than what it is on the weekly episode well boy you have not seen any of the patreon stuff and guess what if you go to patreon.com and you sign up for that second tier and you get those exclusive videos every single friday you're also going to get the backlog of everything that has come before it so it's not like it's like oh i sign up today i get everything from here on out hundreds of hours of content that you're going to be able to consume with those beautiful windows of the soul as i call them aka your eyes so go to patreon.com slash the basement yard check it out and maybe you'll maybe you'll want to join i think it's worth it and if you want to save yourself a couple extra buckaroos while you're doing it go to patreon.com slash the basement yard on a web browser if you use the smart app it's going to take a couple extra bucks and you're going to be able to get a lot of content from you why because they got to pay our tech overlords those lizard people allegedly so patreon.com slash the basement yard thank you to the over 51 000 of you guys that are paid patrons it's honestly amazing and we want to make sure we are tailoring what we are giving you as to what you like so go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard also there's merch options available new merch options available the sanagato studio studios fc at sanagatostudios.com why don't you go over there take a gander and we'll see you next time bye bye whatever's over there you might like something maybe give it to the sanagato studios fan in your life as a gift the holidays are only six months away which is a crazy thing to say it's never too early to get a jump on the holiday season so go check it out sanagatostudios.com and the boys are back on the road bing bang bing bang boom we're doing live shows again maybe we're coming to a city near you maybe the tickets are still available at a city near you we did add some second shows in some places you're going to want to check them out but if you go to the basementyard.com you'll be down at that list so go check it out maybe you want to make a trip out of it i don't know but you could find all information on the live shows at the basementyard.com so we got three websites that's not a lot we got patreon.com slash the basement yard for the subscription service we got sanagatostudios.com for some merch options and then we got the basementyard.com for some live show options so go check it out we love you we thank you we appreciate you back to joey i did that well that was pretty good you should do commercials i always love when the links are the name of the thing makes it so easy what does that mean like we're the basement yard the basementyard.com boom yeah because you know there's some old boomer out there that's just like hmm i like the basement yard let me go to the basementyard.com and just see and then it's like wow this is streamlined and easy for me an old person who's an idiot i meant for everybody but yeah no yes it works for other people that are we still have to go for lobster rolls and a bottle of white wine oh oh uh fucking uh spritz honestly hugo whatever that dumb asshole's name is i genuinely don't think i've ever gotten mad at joe if he brings it up one more time and we don't do it i'm gonna i'll stop how is this on me i'll just start getting there forgive us it's on one it's on somebody it's on somebody forgive for our our schedule collectively has been crazy that's all of us as a as a trio that's actually as an ensemble ish so like so like it's like a thing but we we will get there don't you worry you're sweet head of yours we will i think that we should commit to some time in the next two weeks monday well you got you got as as of recording you guys are doing the card-a-thon so you guys got a lot going on i do so he's trying to make an excuse for you no no no no i'm just saying like i i don't want to i don't know if you're like looking to escape that or if like you feel compelled to get back and win winning already already winning i don't know he doesn't know anything could happen it's true it's a lot of time um okay well back to me uh oh we're done with you um we saw you can you pull up the the gelato thing i could pull we've had this for like weeks and we never brought it up but i'm so in the mood for gelato cares about gelato dude you don't care about gelato i don't think i've ever had gelato like proper what i've had ice cream because i'm an adult in america you've got a lot of hard takes i know i honestly that one felt pretty charged and i'm okay you've never had gelato in your life i don't think i have you've never had like a like a hazelnut gelato oh my god can i ask a serious question and i know i'm not the only person that that wonders this difference what's the difference between gelato and ice cream um you know for me it's just one of those things that i don't want to know you don't need to know i'm assuming it's something it's one of those things like if i went to a super artsy bar i'd be like what's your bartender that just shook my fucking you know my my vodka tonic for 12 minutes what's your favorite gelato that's what i expect so are these people that have gelato just fucking i'm starting to think that you've never been outside in your life that's what i'm trying i absolutely have your pet i love the outside i just told you i was in the ocean i feel like you're picturing the guy who's the food critic in ratatouille and you're like you can't on ego the guy that's the guy who you and you're like oh my god no no no no no no he's too i believe that's his name uh yo also check the name of that because that that movie the ratatouille being the food is outrageous not the name how could that be no no no i meant like that's the dish that got him ratatouille i if you want that movie is so beautiful i love that it makes i'm not kidding there are there i think it RIP, said that like that is the best movie about simulating the restaurant to like critic experience because like that's what they're all trying to do is like they're all trying to bring a dish that's not elevated elevated to a point that it elicits that response from people right that movie is on my list of what i believe are perfect movies i think that after i watched that movie i wanted to just be friends with a rat for like a little bit i'm gonna ask you a serious question yeah what's the name of the rat rat you don't know the name so that's what a lot of people name is um a lot of people think all right give me his first letter r a lot of people think it's rufus nope that's what's his name from fucking kim yeah that's a naked mole rat his name is um rodolfo good job so like what is it it's not rodolfo i'm aware that's a good guess i'm not gonna tell you what's the second letter no i'm not telling you e what do you get out of that you feel good i think it bothers you that you don't know it doesn't okay so live the rest of your life never knowing r frank i could look it up at any point in my life and get it but don't why not because if if you cared that what game are you playing in your head what do you get out of this i'm shaking my cocktail back here it's you you're worse his name is remy that's right i did know that his name is remy remy not rodolfo rodolfo is someone's name i'm not sure that's i don't think there's any other no there's a rodolfo i don't think good name i don't know if it's a rat's name but um gelato uses more milk less cream also if i brought in a lot of pistachio gelato and gelato ice cream and i put it in front of you you'd be like the difference is astounding i'm gonna go one step further pistachio flavoring is so mid oh i don't think so i think pistachio and like a croissant love that cool without it it goes i'd like it better than like a chocolate stuffed thing i just don't like pistachio i was talking with dylan of all people about this about pistachio pistachio because he i think he called himself pistachio aura and i said like such a mid flavoring yeah so i don't think so i like it but if you walk into a gelato spot if you walk into a gelato spot and you saw all these which like three are you considering you want off okay all right i'm gonna go off of not just the name of the the flavor but just the appeal of the like that is some of those are beautiful um immediately top easiest answer i've ever given in my entire life salted caramel yeah holy shit anything that's salted caramel i'm good it like and and not like i'll be cool around it i'll be shy around salted caramel i'll be like i like i love salted caramel anything it's i think it's probably one of the right below her brown sugar also always good so my three off rip i'm going salted caramel cherry and new york cherry dude i don't know listen i know i know please please please please please please please please please please please please for like just give me a minute of your time you've talked this entire time give me a minute of your time watch i'm shutting up now i'll never talk ever again oh no we're all hurting now what the fuck is taro what is that taro is like a uh berry it's like a root oh right am i am i wrong like taro behind that taro root what about cotton candy with two guns i'm shooting this thing i honestly wouldn't even consider that i don't i like cotton candy cotton candy flavored things is one of those things that like i just i can't ever get behind i think there was a time in my life though that i would not have passed up cotton candy i mean i the kids are there i can tell you that right now like there have been several times where i've gone to the ice cream shop they get cotton candy and they'll get cotton candy and they just won't like it because it's just like the blue let me ask you a question where are you i don't think it's up here no but where are you on like birthday cake flavoring and shit it's gotta be like it can't just be like there's just sprinkles in it it needs to have a bit of that like raw batter taste it's if it's just the colors then don't call it birthday cake call it confetti right like to my understanding like if you're gonna do like cake batter flavored things it needs to taste like you're licking the spoon of cake batter oh i love that i do too bad for you but with the point i was making about cherry i have had a you know how i was with my ice cream i was a briar's nash or vanilla yeah cherry vanilla lately cherry vanilla cherry it's vanilla with like cherry infused and then like giant chunks of cherry i love cherries no what the fuck is unicorn i feel like that's like a birthday cake yeah that's one of those where it's just like the colors are in there chunky monkey cookie butter might come home with me i'm surprised joe doesn't like chocolate therapy was that oh i don't even know what that is i don't know what that is i'm not a big chocolate i'm not gonna get that's a great joke that you made i like that a lot some people like also green tea i'd rather be shot by a horse i've never had green tea flavor like that's one of those things like i love green tea but the flavor of green tea and ice cream i can't imagine liking it i think i've been in a gelato place before and they had a uh one that was earl gray i'm like what is that i mean no it's i know what i've had an earl gray but like a gelato oh why yo also overrated cookies and cream it's overrated wow that is it's overrated cookies and cream anything is overrated you know what i don't feel passionately enough the other way to do anything but defend you here so i'm with you on but that's what i'm saying like the cookies and cream they like to put it up there with like the vanillas or the chocolates or like these heavy hitters cookies and cream is not not that guy i don't it's not cookies it's not uh uh all right give me your mount rushmore of cookie flavors cookie i mean sorry what of ice give me your mount rushmore of ice cream flavors vanilla duh cookie dough it's not your favorite it's about mount rushmore it's about mount rushmore the four that you would put as the representation i would i mean so okay whatever i mean vanilla absolutely i think it's vanilla chocolate strawberry they're the neapolitan and then what there's a fourth one what the hell would you even put there then if you guys want to play these rules oh my goodness that's a great it's like what would be the fourth though is there a fourth it's like the the argument like what's the third major city unfortunately you want to do this unfortunately you want to do this unfortunately the fourth would probably be like mint chocolate chip or some shit i will tell you three guns for that one i would put every gun that exists i think i think the obvious the easiest answer would just be just plain old chocolate chip boring i mean for me my favorite ice cream flavor is cookie dough oh mine mine right now is cherry vanilla if not regular ass vanilla america's top 10 ice cream flavors i thought it'd be bigger nope it ain't just zoom in just zoom in command give us a zoom yeah so we got vanilla chocolate cookies and cream there's no possible way this is overrated chocolate chip cookie dough i guess that makes sense chocolate chip cookie you know what's better you know what's better than cookies and cream oreo it's different is it brother is it different is it is that not is that not it feels different i think cookies and cream was birthed through the anus of oreo it's that's probably fair i just don't think it's it's like one of the heavy hitters is that mocha moose tracks what the fuck is that moose tracks is like there's like chunks of chocolate in or something but isn't tracks poop no that's that's the hooves no no no he means like uh like bear tracks marks you're talking like marks no track don't they say like bear tracks no that's bear scat and moose scat i swore tracks was like shit track is like the the paw prints like oh bear around yeah i don't know where have you heard of tracks being fecal matter joe might be right actually i have no idea so strawberry yo loki as i'm getting older strawberry is good it's making it's making its way up i fully agree fully agree it's making its way up cookie dough is just a flavor i didn't know that oh yeah it's it's basically just like a vanilla with cookie dough jerry's without the chocolate chip buttered pecan being number six that is mind-blowing my guy my guy my guy the south they love their pecan as they specify it down there mint chocolate chip is the biggest fraud in the world i i'm not even kidding you disgusting yeah i've had it and i still can't imagine how people like it i don't get it because there are certain things i could try and be like i get it there's people that like that mint chocolate chip is the like they just clash also like peppermint patties like that sort of thing where you're getting like minty chocolate like this is a very doesn't doesn't make sense i'm with you like i don't know i'm just go back to the gelato thing so my top three i went new york cheesecake i went did you i went new york cheesecake that's a good cherry and salted caramel give me your top three i see you said brown sugar what are the other two on there well i said salted caramel for sure because anything caramel i usually oh man see i don't want to get all the same type of shit though because i would do like cookie butter brown sugar and salted caramel But I'm going to switch it up. Ooh, can I? No, I'm changing the rules here. I was going to say, can I get two? I would order two. Like you get one in one? Of different scoops? Yeah. Like you get two scoops in one cup and you get. My guy, my guy, my guy. Just pick three flavors. Yeah. You can get one of each in the same cup. It doesn't matter. That's Frankie's eighth, my guy. Yeah. I'm going to go salted caramel. Yes. Welcome to the club. I'm actually going to go cookie butter. Yeah. Okay. And then I'm going to go. Maybe I'll go stracciatella. Can I ask? I was going to ask, what is that? It's just like chocolate. But why did not just call it? It's like chocolate, hardened chocolate syrup and like vanilla. Oh, okay. I think that's it. Stracciatella. I actually was on a TikTok account. Ooh, I might get the hazelnut if I'm feeling like a little hoo. I love how hazelnut is just almost chocolate. But there's. That nuttiness to it. I kind of like that. You know what I like? When shit has a little fucking chunk in there and I'm not really expecting it. See, I, I like a chocolate chip. I don't like a chocolate chunk. I feel like I need some, I need some rules in order to this. I can't have big chunks. Give me uniform, uniform chips. Don't just like a fucking cowboy in the wild west. Just fucking throw different size chunks in there. Yeah. There's. Yeah. It's like that scene in casino. Where he has the blueberry muffin and there's like two blueberries in it. And the other guy has one and it's like 15 blueberries. Uniform the chips. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I like a chunk if I'm expecting a chunk, but if I'm not expecting a chunk, what are we doing here? I, I, I don't know if I could go out and speak for you outside of the flavors that we don't understand like taro. Yeah. I don't know what that is. I think I can imagine that you hate the following flavor. I don't like lemon flavored pastries. Okay. I could see you hating lemon. Yeah. I think you're in the same boat. Like I go back and forth with it, but this would be too much for me. I, I can imagine you hate mint brownie because not only have they disrespected mint and chocolate, but then they put it in brownie form, which I think you're a fan of. That's a, yeah, but this is an abomination. It is. Yeah. Okay. It's like when like fucking two hillbillies. The cousins have a kid and it's like, what is this? The perfect lunch combo. That first bite of your favorite sub followed by ice cold Pepsi. Add a couple of friends and now that's next level. Suddenly the laughs get louder. The stories keep flowing and the food tastes better because Pepsi brings out more flavor, more fun and more of the moment. Food deserves Pepsi. Grab a Pepsi zero sugar today. You know, I forgot this was a Patriot, well, not a patron, not at all. I forgot, I forgot, I forgot, I forgot. Also we could do without raspberry, right? I like it. I like raspberries. I think raspberry shit is actually really good. I would throw green tea on the ground. Okay. Okay. Unicorn. I'm throwing on the ground. Uh, blueberry, like not, it doesn't deserve its own flavor. It looks too chunky. It doesn't deserve it. It doesn't deserve its own flavor. Like she looks too chunky. You have not earned a leading role yet. Blueberry. Although they are the leaders in pies, a blueberry pie. It's a fantastic pie. Gone on record. I'll continue to be on this record. I don't like any pie because cooked fruit is disgusting to me. Honestly, you got to come back around on that. They have the best muffins. Have you ever had a cobbler? Uh, no. Fucking cobblers. I just don't like, I just watched some dude on TikTok make a peach cobbler and like, it looked fun for him, but. I'm not in. It's good. Can you do me a favor? Yes, sir. Get like 12 pies one day and let's do a pie tasting. I did this years ago. Pie versus cake. And I hated all the pies. I had a cherry pie. I would have rather eat your ass after a workout. Wow. Wow. But also disrespectful to my ass because I know how much you hate cherries. Yeah. Well, I don't like hate cherries. Like, cherries are fine. I just, Gary V. I don't like cherries. No, it's not the cherry. It's the cherry pie. It was too much cherry. Didn't like it. Get, hit up your people from the bakery. Yeah, get the bakery. And have them make a cherry, a blueberry, an apple, a peach cobbler. Use the crumpety credit card on this, okay? The crumpety. The crumpety. And also, we're going to need a lot of vanilla. We're going to need a lot of vanilla ice cream on top of these. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. A bakery that's called the crumpety. Yeah, unfortunately, it's going to need more than that. It's not just a name. Billion dollars. Hold on. While you think about that, let's get to the rest of these sponsors. I just remembered that is a thing. Listen, we have here DoorDash, okay? DoorDash. You guys know DoorDash. You can go onto their platform and you can order pretty much, you know, anything you need to your apartment. Whether it be, you know, food. Food or something from a convenience store or anything like that. But also, I think a way that people don't think about DoorDash is in the way that you can, like, connect and help with other people as well. You know, we actually, me and Frank a while ago did this thing with DoorDash where for Mother's Day, we sent our moms flowers with DoorDash. So, you can connect with people in that sort of way as well. If it's Mother's Day or whatever it is, you can send flowers to people via DoorDash. And, you know, just for your friends. You want to make your friend feel happy. Or you're thinking about them, send them a little DoorDash. You know, they like ice cream, boom. They want some gelato, we're talking about gelato, send your friend a gelato. She's studying for her fucking quiz. Or your friend is, you know, going through something. Send them a little something. Maybe their favorite snack or something like that. It's a nice way to connect via DoorDash, okay? Don't just buy everything for yourself even though you could use it in that way as well. You want to make yourself happy as well. But you can use DoorDash to connect with the people that you love, sending them flowers or sending them their favorite tree. Or whatever the case is. You can help them out. I've also used DoorDash in the past. You know, Nicole wasn't feeling well before we were living together and I sent her a little care package with some, like, with just a couple of things, you know what I mean? So, it's like that, but go check out DoorDash, go give it a, go give it a check. And, yeah, don't be afraid to connect. You know, DoorDash makes showing up for the people you love easy, all right? Delivered, DoorDash, order now. And lastly here, we have LittleLight. LittleSpoon, okay? LittleSpoon supports babies from the very first feed. It starts with organic infant formula for those first bottles, then moves into baby cereal and baby blends when solids begin, first bites, first spoons, all of it. And, yeah, they have pretty much everything. It's, everything is designed for the stage that the babies are in. It's made with simple ingredients and it's tested for 500 contaminants, including heavy metals, so that you know that your babies and toddlers are not eating those contaminants. But they have a bunch of stuff. They have Beyond Smoothies and Yogo Snap pouches. I know Frank's big on the LittleSpoon. Oh, our kids went through those smoothies quick. They're very good. I'm tasting a little myself. How you doing? Also, it feels good to give them something that I don't have to worry about where it's coming from. Exactly. They have over 100 plus ingredients banned across the board. I don't, you don't have to overthink any of the labels or anything like that. So, it's good. And feeding the kids doesn't have to be complicated. It makes it easier for them to get the food they want. so how you doing also feels good to give them something that i don't have to worry about where it's coming from exactly uh they have over 100 plus ingredients banned across the board i don't you don't have to overthink any of the labels or anything like that so it's good and feeding the kids doesn't have to be complicated it makes it easy with real nutritionally balanced meals and snacks designed for every stage it shows up ready to go it takes the pressure off um and yeah it's great so get 30 off of your first order online uh order at littlespoon.com slash basement with the code basement that is l-i-t-t-l-e-s-p-o-o-n.com slash basement with the code basement for 30 off of your first order okay so that is littlespoon.com slash basement with that code basement and enjoy that 30 off uh and i don't so a bakery crumpany called the crumpany crumpany and the slogan is it's about the crumpany you keep yeah and it's um just a good business that will work because it's just off of name and concept alone cool um we can we get some pies we'll do it on patreon we'll have a pie eating well they might not because they're an italian bakery you might need it now we're just this i'm just having to just go to a store brother brother no no don't don't go get no no we're going to a bakery i know where you go honestly martha martha's bakery in historia queens there's one in brooklyn too just don't no go to the story of queen say hi yeah no i i'll give you my old address you can wave to my old house sure company credit card for that one martha's bakery yeah she goes up there she goes up there how many what are so there's there's patreon a patreon oh that's a great one or patriot pie we'll go with the first one um so we have blueberry pie blueberry pie we'll do i'll retry the cherry pie but cherry pie types of pies this is a great point we need an apple pie cream pies none that we need to try oh yeah let's get a cream pie in here who doesn't like that antsy very excited everybody like everybody loves a cream pie so we have fruit pies i've never had a banana cream pie i might be into that they're very good into the cream pie i'll be honest with you yeah yo Honestly, cream pies may be the ultimate pies. Cream pies? Hiss this too many. It's not fair. Coconut cream pie? Hold on. What's better than a cream pie with a little bit of coconut in it? Or a little banana in your cream pie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, all jokes aside, banana cream pie? Fuck me up. Custard pie? Blasting that. Yeah. Yo, by the way, I will say, I had a pumpkin pie once and I fingered it. It's an unbelievable feeling on your hands. It's not fair. I wish we could end the episode there. Or cut to more ads. Can you just make up more ads? I guarantee you, you get a fucking pumpkin pie in here, which I guess is considered a cream pie, and you put your finger in it, you tell me that you don't want to blast the thing to hell. You tell me. You know what? A legitimate thing that we can and will do on Patreon. I do like custards, so I guess that makes sense. And I do like, I know I'm going to sound like such a boomer here, but I do like Cool Whip. So if that were the cream and the cream- How is that boomer? That's such a boomer thing, dude. I love Cool Whip. Cool Whip. Cool Whip? Yeah. I can see myself enjoying that. Like, I do like custard. Like, one time we made this, you've never been to Stamati's, but like, they have a dessert called, oh, you've been to Kiklades, right? No, yeah. They have a, it's like what they give you for free at the end. It's called like garlic to burrico. It's kind of like a custard pie under phyllo dough. A garlic booty hole. Yeah, yeah. I love a garlic booty hole. But I can't, I can't get behind a cream pie. Just, I can't get behind a cream pie. Just because. Nah, come on. Dude. Bro, don't get behind a cream pie. Get in the cream pie. Get in, be the cream pie. Be the cream pie. Don't just, don't get behind the cream pie. Get into the cream pie. Live in the cream pie. Yeah, you gotta get in the cream pie, dude. All right, so we are establishing here, Joey wants to be cream pie'd for Patreon. If there's ever a reason to go on Patreon and sign up, it's because you will see Joey get cream pie'd. You will. I mean, you have to too. You have to get it too. You have to get cream pie'd. I'm not saying I'm contributing to that. You're getting a banana cream pie and you're going to fucking like it. Oh, see how he put the banana in there because he's afraid that people aren't going to, why they're going to get it. It's a type of cream pie. You can't just get a cream pie. It's just cream pie. I mean, I've watched old timey movies from like the 90s. Like a cream pie just looks like it's Cool Whip in a fucking, what's it called? A fucking dish, pastry. Yeah, like that's what it is. Yeah, yes. That's what I was looking for. A graham cracker crust. You don't think that, why'd you say that like a parrot? You don't think that an apple pie, like aesthetically you're like, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Aesthetically, even, I've never seen a pie and been like, that looks ugly. Like it all, like the artistry behind the pie. I wish those goddamn bartenders put effort into pies the way they do their fucking vodka tonic. Yeah. You know? I, I'm really into pie. Like blueberry pie looks good looking. It just. Blueberry pie is fantastic. I just don't like cooked fruit. It's a, it's a texture thing for me. Like slimy fruit is not, I, I just can't. I think there's less of that in a blueberry pie. But I've had like, this is going to be the worst version of it. I know, but follow me here. I've had like the McDonald's baked apple pies. Uh huh. It's the cooked, it's the texture of a slimy apple. You like oysters. Yeah, but that's like, I'm, I like oysters cause I know that that's what's good. I don't know what they are. I like apples because they're crunchy and crisp. I don't know what this apple is. No, no, no. But like, I, I know apples to be crunchy and crisp and airy and soft. Not. Just change your mind. If only it were that easy, Joey. Just change. If only. You know what? Oh, I'm, or you're not, you're feeling the blues. Hey, just don't be sad. How about that? I can't just. Totally different. I can't just change my mind on what I think about apples. So because the first time you ate an apple, it was crunchy. You're like, I just couldn't. I just couldn't possibly imagine this apple in any sort of form. Not the first time. How about the first 33 years of my life? I had it and I was like, apples, they be crisp, they be crunchy, they be, they, they be tart. Yeah, it's just another way of doing it. Same with. And also you add a little fucking ice cream on it. Also, I've said this before, Harry Potter ruined me. Like, like this scene of. What? Harry Potter did what to you? Cream pie'd us. Yeah. Um, this scene of, of Ron coughing up the slugs when he gets hit with his spell back in him when he has the broken wand. That's what I imagine having an apple or peach pie is like the, the. But you don't feel that way about literal oysters. No, because I know oysters to be what oysters are. Yes. But they are like that. No, not to me. They're not slimy. Oysters. Oysters. Yeah, but I, I, I, I, I was introduced to them as slimy and I will live. But you're saying it's a texture thing and you don't mind the slime. Because I got into it knowing it's the slime. I did not get into apples knowing that these could also be slimy. They're not really slimy. Bro, look up a picture of someone dumping out apple pie filling. It looks like ooze. We're going to, we're going to turn this guy into a. Inside. What's that? Inside out. I didn't say that. You can't. Did you say inside out? We're going to turn this guy inside out. After Joe said he's getting cream pie on page three. We're going to get some cream pies in here and turn this guy inside out. Oh, by the way, you demonetized the video by doing that. Not me. No, you can say cream pie. It's a food. We sang in the beginning. It's going to be. Neil's not dumb. He knows. He's like, I know what they're saying. I'm into the cream pies, I think. Good for you, man. Good for you. Good for you. I've never had a banana cream, but that sounds really good. I don't. It sounds not awful. You don't. Is that you? You don't like banana shit? I like bananas. I don't like banana flavoring. Me too. I think it's literally might be the worst flavoring. And sometimes peach. Nothing worse than green apple flavoring. Oh, that's fine. That's a crazy taste. Nothing worse. I don't even know what. I guess like licorice is nasty. That's a good one. Yeah, but that's like, you don't even count those. Yeah. Who likes that? My mom. All right, we could count them. My mom. My mom. My mom might like it too, actually. I guess we'll count them all. My mom used to like. Didn't your mom like Good and Plenty? Yes. Oh, what a disgusting candy. Yeah. That's not even candy. She's earned the title of that makes her a disgusting person. Also, they look like pills. Yeah, what do we sell? They don't look like candy. They look like pills, dude. It looks like Dymatap. It looks like, oh, this is a Tylenol. Is there even sugar in this? Can we call it candy? But here's the thing is, I don't, like, not only are they not good, I don't want any to just find them as plenty. Yeah, one is enough. So what of the worst named things because they're not good and I don't want a plenty of them? It does look just like pills. It does, dude. How are they still in production? Just do me a favor. Google who the hell still has good and plenties. What does that mean exactly? Nothing's going to come up. Something will come up. It's just going to come up people like or a store. People like licorice. People okay, this is an order. Okay, who the hell still has good and plenties? And let's say Hershey. Hershey. Yeah, of course I was looking more for like a what kind of monster. Well, what did you do? It's not a magic book. It's not like just magic. Shut up. Yes, it is. It is kind of magic. It is kind of magic. It is kind of magic. It is absolutely. Yeah, you just like anything you want to know. Most things you just type it in. It is like how did the Choco Taco die before good and plenties? I think they're back. How did Choco Tacos? Whoever was not on board with that. You're a bitch. Those things are what? How did how the hell did give me a candy that is gone forever? How the hell did you do that? How the hell did? I can't even think of one. There might not be one. Yes, there definitely is like discontinued candies. Or do you like taffy? Like real like saltwater taffy? Yes. What's not taffy? The of the Laffy variety. Oh, no, I'm thinking of like taffy. Yeah, I do. I like how they package that. I like how they package it because it feels rustic, but it's just mass produced like everything else. But like the paper that it's in. It's like, what is that? Wax paper. No, I know. It just it feels like like it's like deli. Paper. Yeah, it feels. That's what I mean by rustic. You put like bologna on this. It feels handmade. Like, I feel like I'm how I'm supporting a real person by getting this. I love going into a shop also, and they have like a wall of flavors of shit. I'm like, let's go, dude. The next time I need taffy in my life. I'm just just taffy just for me. I mean, I'd be mad. Taffy didn't fucking aren't Hercules candy. Like, didn't they send us stuff because they were fans? That is true. Hercules. I am. We need you again. I am afraid of things in the mail that are food, though. That is fair. Honestly, yeah, I won't accept food from. I won't. I won't. I'm freaked out by it. Does anyone get put down like that anymore? Brother, it's ain't going to be the first. I'm not going to be the. Yeah, I can't eat the buffer fish. There's a place. There's a place in Asbury Park. That's like an old time candy shop. And like, it's like dudes wear little hats. Great question. Is there a bar? Yeah. Nice. You walk in and it's like, oh, a circular bar and then behind that There's another bar, and they're like, what do you want? And they just have, like, soda and milkshakes. You know, I don't know if they got that, so let me back up and manage your expectations. Oh, you meant, like, an actual bar with alcohol? No. Oh, let's go to that place in Manhattan that, like, makes, like, the old-timey Coca-Colas. No, I'm talking about a bar that you sit at. It looks like a bar, but you order, like, milkshakes and shit. Oh, they have one by me. A milkshake bar? Yep. That's fire. Dude, old-time stuff like that is coming back. It's only a matter of time. It could be called the crumpany. What about, wait, so the place that you, dude, that sounds so fire to be, like, imagine, like, after work instead of going to the bar. You go to the bar, and you get a milkshake. It has, I haven't been there in a while. I hope it still has it. But it has, like, you know, the booth, the single booth, single stool with, like, the cushion. Yeah. And you go up and down, and, like, it's a. Like the Jackson, it looks like Jackson Hole, but it has candy. Yeah, and there's a koala of candy you can get from and all that stuff. I think that's so cool. I only want it if the guy has a shirt. He does. With stripes. Like, the stripes, the red and white. Oh, fuck, yeah. Yep, yep, yep. And his name's, like, Elgin Stewart. Yeah. Or, yeah, Elgin. Yeah, his name's, like, Harold. This is Eustace. Yeah, yeah. He has to sing. His name is Eugene. I'm not accepting candy from a place like that unless the person sings it to me. He's got to be a lanky white fuck with a stupid haircut, dude. Did you see that Netflix is coming out with, like, a contest? It's, like, a Willy Wonka contest. They, like, built the candy factory. That's so sick. It's a show. Where it's, like, a real place? Look at, yeah. Look it up. It's, like, I think it's called, like, the Wonka contest or something like that. And you can, like, eat the walls? I haven't watched it because it hasn't come out yet. I am going to say there's Gene Wilder's AI voice, which I'm not pumped about. But, like, yeah, Wonka's the golden ticket. Wait, so people build, like, Wonka factories? I think. I mean, we'll have to wait and see. I saw just the trailer because the trailer came out. That is so fire, dude. I would definitely go there. They had, like, the everlasting gobstopper under the glass. And shit like that. That's sick. Here's the, don't show this, Jax, because we don't want Netflix to fucking punch us in the face. Yeah, we can't really show this, honestly. Honestly, it looks cool. Wait till you see the inside. Whoa. Nah, nah, nah, nah. They got the chocolate river. Dude. Also, there's something about a chocolate bar that I'm just really horny by. I'm right there, brother. You know, like, unraveling a chocolate bar, especially if you can do it neatly, and then you get to the foil, which is the underwear, obviously, and then you take the underwear off, and you're like, here you are. And I love when chocolate. Chocolate is kind of engraved on top, and also I love when it's kind of got, like, here's where the pieces break off. Yes, yes, yes. Fuck with that. And it's, like, perforated. Yeah. Like, it's like, you're going to break it right here, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. And then you break it, and it's like a clean break, and I'm like, fucking, this is like a sexual experience. It also, as a father, like, with young kids, like, it helps with, like, portioning out for the kids. Yeah. Because we've had, like, one year for Father's Day, the kids got me, like, a s'mores kit, and it comes with, like. Like, thing, like, the Hershey bars in it. It's so easy to be, like, half for you, half for you. Pop, pop. Did you know it's also a production thing to stop the bars from cracking and crumbling? It helps. Genius. I mean, win-win. Genius. Chocolate bars? In my old age? Coming back. I'm into chocolate bars. I haven't had a bar. You know what I haven't had in a while? Like a Snickers. Like a. Yeah. Like the. Fun. Like the fucking cigar bar. Like a. Yeah. Like a Milky Way or a Twix. I haven't had one in so long. Go out. Live a little. All right. I just meant, like, I just. It's been a while. I'm not avoiding them. I'm just saying, if Netflix hears this, if they do a season two of that Netflix, uh, Wonka show. And if you guys need someone to show up and just eat, could do that. Be honest with me for one fucking second. Are you doing the Augusta. Like, everyone talked about him. I would do the Augustus Gloop with the river of chocolate. He wouldn't do it. I would not do that. I would do a front flip into that fucking bitch. That's right. And fucking get in there. And also, shoot me up the tube. I don't care if I die in this thing. You want to, like, when I die, bury me inside a chocolate river? Yeah. Shoot me up the fucking. Whatever the fuck happens. Or I'll be like the other one. What's her name? Virginia? Who gets all blue? No, Violet. Violet! You're turning Violet, Violet! Yeah, exactly. That one. That one kind of sucked. You'd be Mike TV. Yeah. I do love Chewing Gum, though. I have to admit. He's kind of right. He's. When he's right, I give him a chance. I give him his flowers. Oh, actually, no. You'd be the other one. Don't do this. Don't do that. I forget her name. Oh, she's the worst. Which one? The girl who's like, I want my. My daddy bought me ten golden bars! Yeah, exactly. What's her name? Fucking. I forget. Veronica? That can't be right. Viruza? Viruza Bulk? Viruza Salt? Oh. Arthur Slugworth is such a good name. Such a good name. And looks like a fucking slug, too. Yeah, he does. Always reminded me of fucking. What's his name? From. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Isn't that him? No. That's not Slugworth? He's in that movie, I think. No, he is not. Really? That's Christopher Lloyd. That is Christopher Lloyd. Dude, when's the last time you watched Who Framed Roger Rabbit? The first time I watched it. It is an incredible movie. Watch it with your current adult eyes. It's terrifying, dude. It's scary. Well, that guy. With his eyes on, he's like, "And he talks like this!" I was terrified of that scene. Dude, pull up Judge Doom in fucking. Is that his name? Yeah. First of all, name is Judge Doom. What are you doing? Such a good movie. Such a good movie, dude. Yeah. Like, worth watching it again. I actually am going to be getting it soon. Yeah. See that scene? It scared the living daylights out of me. I'll be getting it soon on VHS. Dude, that's terrifying. Yeah. I didn't like that at all. That's not great. I was scared for way less. I miss when kids' movies try to scare kids. Now, they're just not. Like, this was a kids' movie. And it's like, let's just put something absolutely fucking terrifying in here. Yeah. Let's put on. Instead of Blippi just being all nice, let him, like, cut someone's head off. Well, no, no, no, no, no. That doesn't make it. Like, just put something in there that is just so out of left field, it's going to scare the shit out of people. Like, what was the girl in fucking. Oh, man. The woman in. The Exorcist. Yeah. Oh, no. That's not a kids' movie. And Pee-wee's Big Adventure. Remember the fucking. What was it? The bus driver or something like that? I don't know. I trust you. I've never seen that movie. Big Bertha, I think, was her name. Big Bertha. Pee-wee's Big Adventure, Big Bertha. I don't know. Or just put Scary Woman. Okay. I've never seen Pee-wee's Big Adventure. It's like one of those, like, cult classics that's like, "What the fuck?" Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. This lady. I actually remember this. Does it turn into this in the movie? Yes. Oh, jeez. Yeah. It'll get you. Oh. I just. I love when kids' movies used to be like, "You know what? Something completely out of pocket is going to scare the shit out. Large Marge." That's what I meant. Large Marge. Big Bertha. Close enough. Large Marge. It's very Beetlejuicy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I believe this was made by Tim Burton, so. Oh, then. Yeah. I mean, that looks like a Tim Burton thing, but. Oh, man. Watch. Watch. Scare your kids, Frankie. Watch. Terrify your kids. Terrify your kids, Frankie. I'm going to write that down. They deserve it. But, like, it was better. Like, "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" was good because it was kind of also scary. Do we know that there's not scary stuff for that age range right now? I mean, you have, like. I'm sure there is, but. You know, you're not getting "Monster House" anymore. You have, like, "Five Nights at Freddy's," so I guess. You know "Monster House"? You're not getting that stuff no more. What's "Monster House"? It's a movie from, like, 2006. It was, like, an animated, like, scary movie for kids, but it also had some adult jokes in there. 2006? I think so. I. It might have also been Tim Burton. "Monster House"? I don't think it was Tim Burton. It's Tim Burton-esque. Look up who directed "Monster House" right now. 2006! I'm on point! That's crazy. He really is. Is it Timmy B? Steve Buscemi? Oh, that just says that he's the voice actor. This is just for us, by the way. Yeah, it is just for us. Gil Kanan. Yeah. Who? Who's Gil Kanan? Exactly. Oh, he did "Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire." Did he? Yeah. Wow. And the. Whoa. Whoa. Good. Cool. Cool. Cool. I mean, I wasn't a big fan of "Frozen Empire." I thought it was aggressively okay. Wow. I didn't see it. Mitchell Musso? From fucking Hannah Montana? I've never seen an episode of "Hannah Montana." What? Come on. Swear to God. I've never seen an episode. You get the linear math right. I knew the songs. I remember Josh was, like, obsessed with the songs. Oh. Josh was obsessed with the songs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds like my party, dude. That sounds like a sick party. It was on the TV. I was invited. I just couldn't go. We get to live in our front. Ooh. Every time there is you, there be color. What song is that? The theme song from Hannah Montana. This is Disney Now. Oh, yeah. They're going to fuck us up. Disney Now. Might get green-pied. Yeah, I'm just saying you get the best of both worlds. You get a little moment. I know that song. Did it not take its though? Then you rock out this show. It was a choreo. Also, Emily Osment, who is the sister of? Hayley Joel. There you go. Billy Ray Silas. Like your heart. Yeah. Cyrus, I think. Billy Ray Silas. Did I not say that? Silas. Oh, my bad. Neither here nor there. Well, there you have it, folks. That is our episode for today. Thank you so much for stopping by and hanging out with your boys. Frank, where can they find you? The Frank Alvarez all over. Patreon.com. Slash. The Basement Yard. SantagatoStudios.com for the new merch. TheBasementYard.com for information on live shows. And, yep. And Ant Prisco on Instagram. And you guys can go follow me at Joe Santagato. Go follow the show at The Basement Yard on TikTok and Instagram. And go hit up Santagato Studios for the merch. And that is all. See you guys next time. Endless summer escapes start here. Travel the worlds of Netflix IRL. Inspired by fan favorites like Stranger Things and Squid Game. Brave the upside down. Face off with the front man. Play leveled up arcade games. Shop exclusive merch. And enjoy themed food and drinks. Beat the heat. Play, eat, and shop on repeat at Netflix House at Galleria Dallas. Bring your crew and save. Get your tickets today at netflix.com/house. We'll be right back.