Go back

#561 - Born In The Food Court

82m 54s

#561 - Born In The Food Court

In this episode of "The Basement Yard," the hosts, Frank and Joe, open with excitement over the New York Knicks winning the championship, reflecting on the emotional celebration across the city and the sense of community it fostered. They criticize fans who gatekeep team loyalty, arguing that supporting your team should be inclusive, not exclusive. The conversation then shifts to shopping habits, where they debate online versus in-store experiences. Joe defends online shopping for its convenience and the thrill of receiving packages, while Frank prefers tactile, in-store purchases, despite disliking the waiting and return process. They also explore the concept of "dopamine sites" from South Korea, where people fake shop to get a rush without spending money, which Joe admits to doing regularly. The discussion transitions to malls, with Joe passionately defending food courts as communal experiences, while Frank finds them unappealing. They reminisce about childhood trips to malls like Queen Center and Roosevelt Field, sharing nostalgic stories of teen clubs and kiosks. Throughout, they weave in sponsored ads for SeatGeek, Angry Orchard, Wayfair, and Cash App, and promote their Patreon and upcoming live shows. The episode ends with a humorous debate about personal habits, like being naked at home, and a final ad for Uber's pin verification feature, emphasizing safety.

Transcription

15904 Words, 78941 Characters

English
With ShareMyTrip from Uber, you can send your live trip location to the ones who matter most. Like Dan and Hannah, who always wait up to make sure their daughter gets back to her college dorm room. Or Tiffany, who's running late as usual, and her friends are tracking her trip to make sure she's actually on her way. Look, she's right there. She's three minutes away. Or Sam, who never goes anywhere without her roommate knowing exactly where she is. Some journeys are meant to be shared. Share your ride in real time with ShareMyTrip on Uber. One more way Uber is putting safety at every turn. Learn more on the Uber app. Welcome back to the. Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank. Hey. Hi. Love the sweater. Yeah, I'm. fuck. I don't know where I was going with that. Don't know whose voice that is. Knicks won the championship. Knicks did it. They won the finals. I, as we previously spoke, I'm still relatively new into my basketball fandom. So, like, I made it a point to not say, we won. I don't feel like I'm in that yet. I don't even get it. Like, you know what's so unfortunate? Like, I feel like. I mean, I. We grew up in New York. I like watching sports and stuff. And then I get on the internet after the Knicks win and people are like, there's a lot of transplants who are supporting the Knicks. I don't give a fuck. I hate that mentality deeply. Because you're actively, like, in a sense, rooting against your own team by doing that. Like, you're gatekeeping fandom for your team. Because you watch them go fucking 12 and 70. Yeah, I'm not really into that. I get the, in New York, the transplant thing. When people, like, they just, like, want to say they're New Yorkers and that kind of feels weird. Or if they're, like, hanging out in certain areas and calling it different names. Like, behavior like that. But we're cheering for a basketball team here. Yeah, I think it frustrates me because I don't know many transplants. So, I can't sit there and, like, really rally against them. But, like, I think what we have seen over the last 10 years is, like, New York culture has become, like, if you're here, you're part of it now. And, like, you could be a part of it now. Like, you're, you know, you hear bing bong, you know. And you're like, you know, if you grew up outside of New York City, yours shouldn't leave your fucking mouth. Bing bong shouldn't even be ever said. Like, that's the part where the trans. But, like, the people that are, like, gatekeeping fandom. Like, you're not a Knicks fan. Not that anyone has said that to me. But, like, I have seen that. And people do that with all sports, across all sports, you know. I just don't understand that at all. Like, because, I mean, for me, dude, like, I get so frustrated in, like, close games for, like, all sports that if I'm with someone who's cheering for the opposite team or just, like, being a troll, I can't be around it. Really? Like, it fires me up so much. Why? I don't know. Like, I get so, like. I hate when. And we're definitely not going to throw it to anyone else for this conversation. This kid, I kicked him out of a chat twice. I know. Because he was fucking around. Once a year, I get kicked out of a chat. I wasn't talking to him. Because you are an asshole. This is what you do. This is what you do. And if we're being real, and I was just going to say, this is the thing that bothers me, is when there's a difference between rooting for your team and then just rooting against the team that you're playing, if that makes sense. I wasn't. But you're a shit starter, which is why I kicked you. Because I didn't want it to get to the point where I'm like, am I going to have. Because he said one thing. What was it? Was it even that bad? I don't even care. To me, it was. It wasn't. It wasn't. I was protecting you by kicking you out of that chat. Because if you would have kept going, I would have driven to your house and dragged you outside. Oh, I would have came to see you. Well, that would have been very nice, actually. Now you know if there's a game on. You'd get him pissed. I haven't seen Joe in a while. There's a chat with me, him, and Josh in it. And not Frankie. And Greg is in it, too, by the way. It's okay. It's all right. But this kid, during the Pacers series. Just going. I know. So I'm like, yo, this kid's an asshole. So your reputation precedes you. Yeah, I got kicked out of that chat as well. Yeah, I kicked him out of that one, too. That one made more sense. But then he came back in this one. Then during the game where Wemby's doing this, like, I'm in your head type of thing, while that's going on, which, by the way, I'm pacing like a bobcat in my living room. I'm so angry. They're down 24 at this point. Literally. I'm freaking out. I'm screaming into pillows. This kid goes, Wemby's laughing at y'all. I said, shut the fuck up, and I kicked him out. You got the boot. You're like DJ Jazzy Jeff in Fresh Prince. By the way, Zombie kicked him out, and then two seconds later, no one added him. He's like, I'm back. Kicked him again. I honestly. I thought you added me back. I don't know how that. I honestly. I don't know how I got there. I inserted myself. I don't know how that happened. I thought you let me back in. That's why I was like, what I was going to say was, Wemby's laughing at y'all. You got to hit him. But I. No, you weren't. He's trying. He's trying. No, no. I text. No. I text in, like, tens. Yeah. I just wrote in all caps, yo, sent that, and said, shut the fuck up, and then booted him. Yeah, then I went to text. I went, ooh. And then Josh texted me. And then Josh texted me on the side. He goes. See, I really don't, like. I do take an approach of just, like. I ride for the teams that I ride for. You know how I am. But, like, if we're watching a Yankees game, and there's a Red Sox fan there, it'll be playful. But, like, if they seriously get, like. Rude about it. That's what I. I do take it, like. I mean, they're beating the Yankees. I need to take it on the chin here. You know? But that's the approach that I take. But what you do. No, no. I could see that driving me up a fucking wall. And also, at this point, they're down by 30 points. Yeah. And I could not be losing my mind more. And then just to see you being like, these left. I was like, nope. No, no, no. The way he was taking it. You know, it's hard to read over text. He was taking it a lot harsher than I was saying it. I would have taken anything harsh. To be honest, at that point. So, you were trying to give it nice and smooth, but you just took it hard. You have a knack for doing what you just did. I mean. And you're a bastard. I am a bastard. I mean, technically not, but in fun, playful ways, I am. Oh, wait. We're in another chat that you're in, I believe. And he said, like, the Knicks did. Or something like that. And I just wrote, shove it in your ass, Andy. Yeah, yeah. That's what I saw. I said, GGs. Shove it up your ass. GGs. Yeah, GGs. Shove it in your ass. Well, even GGs. GGs is, like, a bit of a bitch of a way to say that. You know what I mean? Like. I can't say anything. No, you can't. Honestly, no, you can't, because we know your fandom. We've spoken about this, like, three episodes in a row now. Honestly, if you were a Spurs fan, I'll just fight with you. Yeah. But you're not. So, now it's like you're just provoking me. I think he is just trying to fuck, because he's also. Not trying to fuck. Trying to fuck with us, is what I was trying to say. We don't know. Maybe. But I also imagine that he's on his fifth fucking Jameson and Toyotomiya. Toilet water or wherever you drink. And he's just like, I'm just going to be a prick. And I can guarantee, because I know you. Your boys are also Knicks fans. I can guarantee you do the exact same thing to them. No, it's way worse to them. It's way worse. Way worse. At least he gives us the respect at not stepping that boundary. The Pacers one, that was. I deserved that, probably. I'm telling you. The Spurs one, I was just. We were kind of like. It was good back and forth. Like, OG's got to do this. Oh, my God. You know, Darren Fox is a loser. All back and forth. All back and forth. Now we're down 30, though. Right. And it's like, yo, he's laughing at you guys. And it's like, okay, now you're crossing a line. You know what this is? This is the prime example of a fan that has never been there. Like, that has never won. Because he's a fan of nothing. What do you mean? He wins every year that the Knicks don't win. Yeah, that's good. He wins every year that everyone wins. But you don't give yourself to one team. So you can't know the feeling in that moment of the intense heartbreak or the intense adoration or love. That's also what me and Josh on the side, I was like. Even after all that, I'm like, being a Knicks fan must be real nice right now. Yeah, dude. Yeah, Josh multiple times has texted me and been like, you guys are going to have such a great summer. I'm so jealous. It's literally like that. That doesn't make sense. Multiple times. That's also funny. He's like, I just want to feel what you guys feel. See, that's. But he also has, like, the Pistons. For some reason, Josh is a Pistons fan. They won in 2004. I'll tell you this right now, by the way. You do that to Josh? Yeah. Like, if the Pistons were making a run, and you do that to Josh. I'm not kidding. I can't save you. I cannot save you from Josh. Jokes aside, like, he's itching to beat us up just because that's how he. A little bit. He's angry when they're winning. Yeah. Like, you've seen them. Like, they're winning games, and he's like, yo, this fucking team. That's how my mom is, bro. My mom with the Yankees. Yo, the Yankees can be up by 12, but Judge will strike out. This motherfucker! Yeah. Piece of the shit! That's it. They're going to lose. Here it goes. Here come all the home runs. Yeah. That's exactly how she is. Josh will, without exaggeration, put you in a leg lock of some sort. Yeah. Yeah. But the Knicks did win. They did! And it was amazing, and I was home at the time watching the game, and I just. The game ended, and I just put my TV on mute, and I opened up my window, and I could hear the entire city. I was getting. I've spoken about this a couple times. Fireworks everywhere, also. I was getting emotional seeing the reaction of the fans of the Knicks because there are fans that legitimately have been fans their entire lives. Like, my mom is an example. My mom's been a fan since she was 10. Yeah. And, like, for them, it's a big thing. And then I'm seeing, like, the camaraderie, and, like, it is true. Like, you look into the crowds of people, and yes, they're rowdy. No one is saying that, and no one is saying that that is right either. The people that got, like, hurt and lit up on fire. Crazy. When be getting hit with an egg, also disrespectful. But. But seeing, like, people, of different race, ethnicity. ethnicities sexual orientation all like in the streets flooding and celebrating together i got emotional seeing that it was beautiful you know this is funny people uh black white gay even no it was it was uh no it was awesome dude i love shit like that like it was really cool to see all the videos and whatnot my whole algorithm is still just nick celebration completely just nick shit just all of it and it's like a interview with they had like the starting five they were even on like good morning america or something like that and og is just you could tell he's fried yes like he asked a question he just didn't move i saw the exact same video he's he's i mean unbelievable serious from everybody if it wasn't if jb wasn't getting the mvp it was going og 100 yeah he went crazy he had 45 in the fucking closeout game god i gave it to him um but you know because of that did you go out and celebrate it , no i didn't because i i wasn't i wasn't feeling well so i just like stayed home watched the game but i was thinking about this like i could have gone out but i was not really in the mood to do that because again i wasn't feeling well but i i had like a really good experience with it like i was home by myself and i watched the game and like i said when i opened up the window because i watched the game and i had like tears in my eyes when they won and i'm like i literally can't believe what i'm watching right now and i was still nervous like there's a game coming you know like because we were winning games and that was exciting but i was just like yo it's over like they they actually won like they actually fucking did it like yeah it's over it's done and so i i was like emotional about that but then and then i heard cat talk about his mom and i was like yeah that was a good one so i was just like fuck so then i put it on mute because fireworks started shooting right outside of my building so i opened the window and then you could just hear people like i feel like i could hear manhattan yeah it's funny because you hear them talking i know i couldn't hear them well sound travels weird on water i remember that yeah from my old apartment like you can hear in my room people talking like eight houses down like you were standing next to them yeah um but uh like i felt like i was going to sleep first of all i was too excited to go to sleep so i was just scrolling and i i was up all night for a little bit but um i even from where i was i know i couldn't hear people but like i felt like i heard people felt the energy i felt the energy of the city reverberating through the suburbs you know bro speaking of like i i was like well that night i didn't sleep at all so the next day i went to sleep and i was like dying um and i sleep with this this app that records me the only reason why i have this why because just because um i don't care about that part it's just part of the app the alarm is like it's like it's like i don't care about that part it's like i don't care about that part it's just like i don't care about that part it's like i don't care about that part it's like i don't care about that part it's like i don't care about that part it's like i don't care about that part it's like i don't care about that part it's like i don't care about that part you know what i mean if there's like a standing mirror or one on the wall or something you might catch a stray of yourself that you weren't expecting and you don't know what you're gonna see yeah i don't need to see my wiener peeing i'm good when's the last time you saw your wiener in a mirror all the time he just said oh yeah yeah oh all right i mean also like in front of the mirror like when i'm getting dressed i see i see my wiener really yeah i'm like getting dressed in front of the mirror you don't get dressed in front of the mirror no but how do you know where you're clothes look like because i have eyes and i see them like this i know but don't you want to see what the outfit looks like i mean you know me i i i'm pretty it doesn't take much to put together a blank t-shirt and sweatpants i guess what about if you like walk past the bathroom usually the sink at least above the sink has a mirror and so that's why i said the vanity like so you don't see your wiener and mirrors whoa whoa you don't see your wiener and mirrors i don't really i'm not a i don't see my wiener and mirrors that often when are you naked in the shower so sometimes you take a shit sometimes i i wear boxers in the shower if like the door is open and the girls are running in and out i don't want them their first memory to see daddy's balls um it'd probably be their fifth or sixth you don't why can't we close the door sometimes i do sometimes i leave it open because they're like they're in the bath or they are going to come shower with me or something like that so i keep boxers on or swim shorts okay i just i don't want i don't want i i sadly remember when i was a little girl i was a little girl i remember my dad's balls and i don't want my kids to have that yeah i remember my dad's wiener that's that's a lot to have to parse through with a therapist eventually you remember your dad's penis no i've only seen it like twice i mean you remember that yeah that's enough but it was when i was older it's like you know sometimes you catch a glimpse out of your old when you were older how do you forget sometimes you catch a glimpse out of urinal you know yeah yeah no no so you've like seen a peripheral i tried i tried but yes you gave up at the end there yeah um so you've seen like a little bit of it yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like you know like i've seen yeah shadows the answer is yes i've seen yes shadows i mean i've seen this thing my my dad no you're not you're not you're not no no no yeah i just like so like i'm naked in the shower so like when you okay so you get out of the shower right let's say there's no children around yeah uh how much time are you naked for and when i mean naked is like no towel i here's my here's what i do yeah i shut the water off right i squeegee the glass and then i put every time you're squeegeeing yeah wow and then i put my i i towel and i put it around my waist and i go get my clothes okay yeah yeah and then i you go get your so you go into your bedroom i go to my bedroom i get my clothes that whatever i'm gonna wear out and then i go back into the bathroom or sometimes in the room most likely in the bathroom and i just get dressed right there you get dressed in the bathroom sometimes yeah why do you get dressed in the bathroom i don't know it's not like an active thing i'm doing it's just what do you mean that is a completely active thing it's a no it's not like i'm like i'm not gonna get dressed in here sometimes i get dressed in my closet sometimes i get dressed in my room sometimes i get dressed in the bathroom okay i would say most of the time probably the bathroom because you know like but you don't spend any of the travel time naked no i got little kids running around like i said i don't i don't i don't want all that i don't want it you have a door i know but also sometimes i'm getting out and like you know becca's doing her makeup and like you know the kids are running in and out getting dressed or so i i keep the towel around me and then i get in the bathroom and i throw my boxers on what if you didn't have kids would you are you naked walking around that's tough i've never been a big fan of being naked you don't like being naked no not my favorite you know that i've told you that you know that you know that i've told you that we've talked about that before i do i do how much how much time do you think in a in a in a in a week do you spend naked oh not not insanely long can you narrow it down to like minutes or hours um if i had to i'd say probably around like in a week we're not including like in the shower obviously that's when you're naked oh oh i mean but yeah but like obviously you're naked then i would say like two hours a week maybe i'm not naked often i was thinking about just the time that's obviously not in the shower because everyone's naked during that like how often are you naked just kind of oh never i'm yeah okay we don't i don't know if we needed that yeah i'm glad you so for what three minutes yeah you got it absolutely nailed me yeah pile driver over here yeah big old big old fat dick pile driver over there um but um i was gonna say like 20 minutes a week maybe 20 minutes yeah because i like to get in the shower though i get out of the shower and then i like i i sometimes i just you know if i'm like dry i just take it off and then i'm kind of like doing well i don't do like a ton of stuff but like today i was like well your your apartment is also like a lot of like windows brother you're not afraid but no one can see in my windows how do you know people there are there are voyeurs that have binoculars and there's like where let me zoom in all the way so i could see joey i mean if they did that all the power to them i don't think they could i have windows and then there's like kids that live in the neighborhood so like yeah you can't go into like the living room or whatever i mean even my bedroom there's big windows you know so like i don't want to be naked in front of a window where there's and outdoors i in my bedroom there is a big window and i can be naked in front of it because no one can see into that how do you know because it's facing manhattan yeah how do you know someone isn't across manhattan with like an old like well then who cares i wouldn't care at that point hotel rooms naked as hell yeah i'm pretty naked and that's why i'll stand by the window because you know they can't really see in oh you're you're you i'll just look you're looking over the land like you're simba sort of mufasa come on um well simba gets it eventually eventually but like mufasa is the one that shows i'm just thinking about everything the light touches yeah i'm just thinking about when i do it because you know a lot of times they have that glass that's like almost a one-way mirror they can't see in the hotel it's like tinted like super tinted so i'll just look out there if someone could see me naked from that far what do i care they don't know i'm pretty naked i'm pretty naked i'm pretty naked i don't know it's me i mean we're starting to get big you gotta you gotta think about the paparazzo they're coming for you no a paparazzi has never taken my photo ever how do you know well i feel like you do know a person runs up on you with a camera and takes your photo this is a real thing that you need to start thinking about as our as our as our growth continues in the right direction you have to worry about where you're naked if someone takes a picture of me from my apartment like my apartment like finds out where i live and takes a photo of me naked can i sue isn't that crazy i'm gonna sue you i'm sure you can but then it makes you look like a real asshole that i'm suing someone yeah joey they should be like oh why joey sued us because now everyone has seen his micro cock yeah wow well you did not fresh out the shower right after a workout though that's that's the best oh i don't know why after a workout is is like dude after i'm working out in a freezer after i ran the half it was inside my body bro what is that i don't know i think that's a thing i don't know i i don't know i've never i've never ran to to have that experience it's not all it's not every time but there are times where i like will hit like a pretty good work or like a run and then i'm like dude this is you know i i can't bad one i i cannot speak to that well that's what it is i bring my um underwear into the bathroom and like my undershirt while i'm showering so right after the shower i just kind of put on like my like bottom stuff there and then i'll walk out so you just put it on wet no no i have a towel i'll dry myself off like in the bathroom a little bit i'll put on my like undershirt and underwear all right that's not that's not like i'm saying i bring my my my bottom stuff into the bathroom i don't go to the bed get the clothes then come back to the bathroom it feels like a wasted trip well you also basically live with like in a college dorm so i can understand still travel still travel i remember bro that was a crazy concept there were in my school there were residencies there were residencies there were residencies there were residence halls that like the bathroom was communal so like you had to like get in your towel and clothes and walk down the hall to shower yeah i do that at the gym i take a shower at the gym but like yeah you're a grown-ass man but like 18 year olds oh weird but they're all i see what you're saying it was weird dude that like that sense of like a shower caddy and walking in flip flops and a towel to the bathroom past everyone's door and r.a frankie's like that towel's not gray give it to me now yeah give it to me right you got me absolutely no there was no rules on towels there were rules on the size of refrigerators and on certain lights okay before we get into that important conversation we do have some sponsors uh the first one being sea geek all right sea geeks where you want to go to buy all of your tickets all right you're gonna have a baseball game or uh well you can't go to a basketball game because the knicks already did it in five but uh you want to go to a baseball game this summer you want to go to a concert or anything like that you're gonna get your tickets on sea geek okay they have over 70 000 events listed at any given time their number one rated ticketing app store uh app on the app store okay so if you need tickets this is the number one place to be uh they'll let you know if you're paying a good price for your ticket based on the color all right so dark green is like a very good price dark red is a very bad price so it's concert season baby and why don't you do why don't you save some money if you're gonna do that all right you can use the code basement 2026 you'll get 10 off your next set of tickets on SeatGeek. so go download the app and go check out something fun get outside touch the grass and listen to some music at a concert or something or go to a game and get a hot dog god knows you need it uh use that code basement 2026 and get 10 off all right enjoy that ladies and gentlemen um we also have angry orchard i don't that's why why are you i don't know i don't know angry orchard it's the number one hard cider in the country uh two apples in every bottle delicious stuff okay uh it is amazing ant is enjoying one right now frank's kissing it ant's enjoying it i just got it right here angry orchard uh it's very delicious two apples in every bottle it's a hard cider so it's amazing we like it don't get angry get orchard or also this is one of the coolest uh one of the sexiest trees i've ever seen in my life good looking tree dude we've talked about that before but the tree on this bottle is insanely sexy for some reason i don't know if that was just the the the cheekbones and the brow line it's like kind of looks like me i would say also gluten-free just saying for those with allergies out there there you go with that allergy at least yeah um but angry orchard is available at bars restaurants and retailers nationwide um but yeah so go check them out uh you can go to the link in the description box and check them out uh you can go to is it angry orchard.com and use the cider locator to find angry orchard near you okay so go to angry orchard get yourself get your get your paws on these go enjoy an angry orchard you know what else is available not just nationwide but worldwide us that was way too loud the basement yard patreon patreon is available wherever you may be i believe i hope if i'm saying something that's wrong patreon figure it out patreon.com slash the basement yard is the way that we tell you guys that you can support us directly it's so meaningful you're you watching and supporting and commenting and reposting that's also very supportive but also patreon.com slash the basement yard is a very supportive way check out the different tiers we got on there that first tier you will find uh you get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance so you can get in on the conversation when people are posting and they're like oh this is the week ahead episode you'd be like what i can go watch it right now that's that first tier that second tier gets you the week ahead episode a week in advance you also get exclusive episodes every single friday so you can party with us all week it's a fun time it's good what am i gonna tell you that go check it out at patreon.com slash the basement yard you guys have been so crazily supportive and unbelievably uh just just generous with your with your your support and your time and your attention and your money and all that stuff so thank you patreon.com slash the basement yard check it out if you want to save yourself a couple extra bucks go type it on a web browser and sign up that way if you use a smart app they might take a couple extra bucks from you all right we thank you and as always as this has come out the basement yard we're doing shows again oh so uh the pre-sale came and went we don't know what is still available because we are not in the future not in the future so uh what you could do is go to thebasemanyard.com check out the shows that we have listed there if there is anything that is available in your area and you want to come see us we're really excited uh it's going to be a fun time so go check it out thank you guys for putting us in the position where we can be doing stuff like this it means the world patreon.com slash the basement yard check it out thebasemanyard.com go check out both thank you i'm getting really good like skilled what'd you say at oh like uh doing a doing an ad a commercial oh yeah yeah i agree you you heard that right like i'm not crazy that was a little disrespectful wow you don't think so i don't know listen uh there's a new trend apparently south korea invented a fake shopping website where you can browse fill a cart and track a delivery but nothing ever gets uh delivered and it's just to like hit that dopamine dopamine sites baby just from shopping i guess that's what i'm talking about listen if you're a seasoned window shopper like me this ain't new dog i love doing shit like this i feel like that's a pretty common thing amongst women at least in my in my experience um if i can throw some sexism out a little bit i think it's a lady ladies be shopping yeah i think they do be shopping and spend into money um but my sister does it nicole does it uh and you do it too the three women in your life yeah the three women in my life uh they throw a bunch of stuff in a cart but they don't buy it well i do that sometimes just because i i it's like a form of like controlling my discipline does that make sense at all like you're like a shopping edging like you'll throw stuff in a cart you know what yeah i'm bringing myself right i'm blue balling my shopping balls but will you come back to it uh it really depends i mean i need to i am like i go back and forth between like i want to buy stuff for myself and i don't so i'll keep stuff in a cart and then like if i ever get in the mood where i'm like yeah you know what i should just pull the trigger i can just go right over and pull the trigger sometimes i also then if it's not there anymore or like the cookies were deleted or whatever i'll be like i wasn't meant to be i wasn't meant to have that yankee hat wow okay you don't do that no i think that like i don't online shop often so when i do i'm like going with a purpose to purchase do you how do you like what do you think about online shopping are you getting this this this or this i almost exclusively do it i know that you don't like it i hate it yeah i hate online shopping why are you worried about like the sizing of things yes that's part of it also i just i'm a tactile person so like i need to see and feel something before i purchase something because i can tell if it's a good quality or not yeah i mean you could also like read the description yeah but that but the description is made by the people that want you to buy it so they might not be as forthcoming and then i'll also check the reviews sometimes but also that could also be bullshit you know what i've been doing like i will put sometimes i'll put an item that i like and be like oh i'm kind of on the fence about this and then i'll put it into like tiktok and see if people made like review videos on it so i could actually see it on a purpose i've done that with um pots and pans i've done like oh i'm going to check out if these are actually good pots and pans because i should be like and then you go and this is someone that dedicated their life to reviewing it and they're like they're all right right you know you know what i do no matter what i'm buying i'll just put in the name of the store or if it's you know whatever it is uh into google and just go discount codes usually i find one that's interesting i'm not i'm not kidding a lot of places also do price match so like if you were to go to like target i don't know if target.com has this i can remember from when i was in store but like if you go to target and you see an item and it's 50 bucks but then you look online at walmart and it's listed at walmart for 40 bucks you'll tell them and they'll price match it for you see see i'm a lazy shopper you just don't care no you don't care at all well i just yeah i just i i don't i don't know i i i like the which is bad i know i will say this the worst part of this is one of the biggest reasons i dislike online shopping is the waiting for it to come that's yeah but it's not that long anymore i mean but it's still like a day or two i like if i get something i'm excited to have it and i want it right now but isn't it more convenient to be able to shop from your house even if you have to wait a day or two uh rather than like i have to get up and go and go and search and i also want to know what all of my options are and it's easier to know i mean i think that like well like retail is moving away from brick and mortar stores like i went the other day shopping and the guy straight up just said like oh we don't have that uh in stock it's just an online only item and i'm like well why do you have a display in the store yeah and he's like because if you want it we'll just order it online and that's where retailers are moving toward it's just like we it's it's easier i guess it's bigger business and there's less overhead when they do an online store than a brick and mortar store i do think that like i mean there are stores i like going to but a lot of stores like don't have shit that's the thing is now it's easier for them to just keep it in a warehouse than to stock and employ there's certain um there's certain brands that i do like and anytime i've been in their store it's like there's slim pickings there but then there's other stores like zara where i'm like this is a good store zara is the an anomaly i went in zara's good i went in the other day with becca and i was like there's more stuff here than i've ever seen online bro also i gotta say this about zara and i i you know potential i don't know the store incredible the website the worst thing i've ever seen in my life really yeah because i think it was like what i heard was that it was made to be like a magazine pull up the zara website right now it's horrific dude we're just zara's just getting absolutely love and hate in this well that's the thing like i feel okay saying that because i feel bad about you know i mean they're a big corporation fucking care like if this was a smaller thing i'd feel worse but the the site is like it's just hard to find shit see this is what we're talking about wait yeah where well there's a search in the top right oh and it's over what are we doing here no one's gonna see this so i mean i feel bad i mean imagine zara and zara like whoever zara is is watching and they're just like i imagine a german name like zara it's like this is so mean what are we what are all these lines yeah and then you have - What the fuck is that? - I mean, I don't know, but. - Benyo. - And then you gotta go to man, And then you got to go to the shop all. Go to shop all. I mean, this is ridiculous what we're doing now. This is not part of the podcast, but it's fine. The point is, I don't, I'm not a fan of the website, but I think that their clothes and being in the store. Yeah, I've gotten some stuff from them that I, that I enjoy, but like it is like, but that's what I mean. Like the shopping experience for me, it's more rewarding than the conveniences for doing it at home because then it comes to your, then you have to wait for it. Then it comes to your house. And then what if you don't like it? Then you need to go out of your way to ship it back, which yes, they give you like most of the time they give you like a free shipping label or whatever, but like, then you need to package it. You need to put the label on it, which, oh, do you have a box? Hope you have a box. If not, you got to go get a box or you got to bring it to UPS. Well, you go to UPS, they have boxes. I know, but like, it's fucking, you like, this is so annoying. I like going to a store and being like, I like that. You've never gone to a store and then bought something and brought it home and put it on and been like, I fucking hate this. No, not once. I feel like I've done that. I have not. Also, like, if I am unsure about like fit or how I'm going to look, I'll just try it on at the store. I'd rather just let shit rip online because I also like getting boxes and it's like, ooh, Christmas. I know. I love getting boxes. Like, that's the thing is like, I don't like online shopping, but I love getting packages. So like, I want someone to online shop for me on my behalf and send it to me so I can be surprised and happy when it comes. What a world you live in. Yeah, I don't know. I, uh, I'm. You know what? I'm going to give you homework. I'm also not really good at returning things. Yeah, I'm bad. I'm not good with it either. I like, especially if it's like a t-shirt. Like if I got a t-shirt and it was like 20 something bucks, like I waited this long, it showed up. I'm not going to return this, unfortunately. And I know that's a luxury and that's a stupid thing to do with your money, but I, in my opinion, shopping online for something remedial, like a t-shirt is so stupid. Like a t-shirt is a t-shirt. You can find a t-shirt. You will not go out and have trouble finding t-shirts. But I'm not buying just a white t-shirt. I mean, regardless, like the shirt that you're wearing, I'm not, I'm not referencing the quality or anything of it, but like you can go out and find a shirt that similar, if not the exact same one somewhere. The thing is though, sometimes I'll go like this, I'll say I need a green pet, which I'm still on the hunt for a, uh, olive green pair of pants that I like. Right. You're still on the hunt for like, someone's going to be like, I gotcha Joe. Well, I've been trying to find like a good pair that I'm like seeing it. I'm like, oh, I like these, but I can't find a good one. But so I, I, I, if I find a site that has those pants, what's going on, um, that has those pants, I'm not going to just buy the pants. You're going to buy extra. I'm going to get a few things. So, okay. I mean, as I'm like, I don't want to just, cause if I open a box and it's only got one thing in it, I'm like the kid from Harry Potter. I'm like last year there was 34. Like I need more shit in here. When is, since when is Dursley or Dudley like Hispanic there? 34. I was, I think I, my tongue was going crazy. I just like a t-shirt. If you're online shopping and one of the items that you're getting is a t-shirt. In my opinion, I understand what you're doing where it's like, I bought other stuff and then I'm like, oh, I'm going to buy a t-shirt. I'm like, oh, I'm going to buy a t-shirt. I'll just throw this in there. But like, if you're online shopping and it's four t-shirts, just go out, just go out to a store. Yeah. I want, I mean, rarely does that happen that I'll just like, I'm just also I've bought in clothes off Amazon bought and purchased. Sure. That feels wrong, right? You what? I've purchased clothes from Amazon. That feels wrong. Like Amazon is not for clothes. I feel like everyone does. It's for like lighters and stuff like that. I've bought clothes on Amazon. I have too, but I'm saying like, it feels like. Wrong. I mean, it's Amazon. There's like everything. I know, but it's just, I've bought like weird shit. I'm telling you now, if and when Amazon starts selling like luxury items, all of retail is going down the drain. All of retail is going down the drain. I think that would defeat the purpose. Well, yes, absolutely. You know, but. Luxury items can't be that accessible. I think, I think I actually saw that. I think it's like long jean. The, the. The watch company. I think they sell on Amazon now and that dude, how much are those watches? I don't know. Honestly, I imagine they're expensive. Like at least a thousand. Yeah. I've seen some items on there that are like, it's like a generator or something. That's like two grand. Is there anything on Amazon that you would buy that you wouldn't buy? Cause you're like, I wouldn't get this from Amazon. No, really? I think that I would get anything from Amazon, especially like, bro, pretty much exclusive. The underwear socks, if I'm purchasing them, I'm going to just get them from Amazon. Really? No, I don't like it. And maybe, maybe I'm being a boomer, but like underwear I'll buy from places that, uh, as an add on, like I'll throw an under sometimes, but like, I need to feel the undies. I need to feel what they are. No. So like, if I go to target and I like a pair of underwear, I'll like try to, you know, how they had that thing at the bottom where it's like, feel me. And it's like a little cutout. Yeah. I'll like. I'll like dig my finger in there and finger it. Just I'll finger the bag just to see if I could feel that it's a good pair of boxers. Okay. Am I wrong? I mean, no, I mean, I, I'm not judging you. I just, I just, I don't care that much. I don't care what the item is. If there is a little, like, try me or feel me cut out in the packaging, a finger's going in. Yeah. Yeah. If I'm walking around Toys R Us and all the toys are like, try me, finger me or whatever. Well, they're not going to say finger me. What was it? Feel me. Feel me. I'm, I'm doing it. A hundred percent. They, they got me because like, or like, it's like a toy that has the, like on the back of the box, it has like the string that you could pull. I'm an adult. I'm going to pull it. Ripping the string. I don't care, dude. Yeah. If you're going to give me the opportunity to try something in a store, I'm going to try it. This is a stupid thing, but like, you know, when, uh, toys like the battery, the pack in the back, it kind of has like a plastic thing that you rip and then the batteries will work. Yeah. I fucking love that. I do too. Cause it always comes out so smooth. I know. I also love when you can put batteries in something and there's that like piece of. On any journey using Uber, it helps to know you're getting into the right car. Pin verification adds an extra step to make sure your ride is your ride. Before the trip begins, your app gives you a unique pin. Just tell it to your driver and they'll enter it in their app before the ride can start. Hey, what'd you pin? Mm-hmm. Two, five, three, eight. That way, you know, you're in the right car taking the right trip and your driver knows you're the right passenger. Make sure your ride is your ride with pin verification from Uber. One more word. Like ribbon. And you pull it out. And then you pull it out like you're fucking killing it. Yeah. You know, like you're ripping it inside out. Or when you get an iPhone and the case, the screen for the first time, you're like. Yeah. I fucking love that shit. Do you keep that on? Are you that guy? Yeah, sometimes. Oh no. Sometimes. I've had like TVs and stuff like that. TVs? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That I've kept it on for years. Why? The screen. What are you throwing tomatoes at the screen? I mean, it's just to keep, it's an extra layer of protection to keep it cleaner. But you're not getting the full experience of the TV that you just bought. Yeah, I am. No, because there's a screen on it. I don't have the eyes to be able to go, you know what? This isn't 1080p. You definitely do. No, I do definitely not. You do definitely not? You don't have good eyes? You squint a lot. Don't you dare say that like that. Don't you? I do. But you're not allowed to say it. Wait, when you go to the eye doctor, what do they say to you? I've gone to the eye doctor. Because they're not good, once and for all. Like, clearly there's something going on. I've got, wow. You're starting to piggyback on me and I don't like it. But they don't tell you get contacts or anything? No. I mean, I have glasses and I haven't gone in like three years. What's your prescription? Do you know? I don't know the actual number. Ever since my employer got me vision insurance, I've made it a thing to like, I went and got glasses. Yeah, what the fuck was with that, by the way? Because when we got insurance, you were like going crazy about the vision, but now you don't wear glasses. Because I wear them mostly for drives because I wear them for driving. I was finding that after long drives, I was having headaches. Because you're squinting the whole time. I don't know if I, I don't think I'm squinting. Danger. Danger? Do it now. I'm doing it now because I'm angry. This is an angry squint. Both of you, you fucks. I have a pair of glasses now and I'll get another one. How about that? Yeah. I'll get two more. What is that going to do to me? I don't know. You're acting like that's my punishment. But we do have some more sponsors. Do we? Maybe we should get to those instead. Yeah, you probably should. Yeah, let's get to that. We have another sponsor, Wayfair. Okay, Wayfair. They make furniture. They make furniture for everything. Okay. I have bought so much Wayfair. There's a bunch of Wayfair in my apartment at the current time. But they are affordable. They have every single piece of furniture that you could possibly think of. I mean, they have outdoor furniture, indoor furniture, rugs, couches, cabinets, whatever you need. It's like they have everything. So whenever I'm shopping for a new piece of furniture, I will go to Wayfair first because I think that they have everything. With the price, the affordability, with the quality that you usually get, it's great. And right now, summer's coming, outdoor seating, grills, major appliances, storage, patio furniture, things like that. You can get it all on Wayfair. It's a one-stop shop for your home. They have over 20 million five-star reviews. And you can shop with Wayfair Verified. Okay, your shortcut to the good stuff. Their team of product specialists vets everything by hand using a 10-point inspection, testing things like quality of materials, functionality, features, and even how long it takes to make to build, that is a huge one. okay sometimes you get caught sometimes you buy a piece of furniture from another company and it's like well this is going to take a year so that kind of cuts into it so i appreciate the fact that they take that into account um but yeah patio season is here and these deals won't last head to wayfair.com right now to get your outdoor space ready for way less that's wayfair spelled w-a-y-f-a-i-r dot com okay go to wayfair.com go check out all those deals save some money get your furniture all right folks and lastly here we have cash app you guys know what cash app is uh you can send money from person to person um but they also have a uh it does more than that um they're making sure your money stays your money cash i've just released a new status program for the way people actually spend called cash app green uh now when you spend at least 500 a month with the cash app card you earn green status which unlocks benefits like up to 200 of free overraft coverage um if you overdraft unexpectedly no hidden fees uh you're good um but yeah so you can like earn your way into that green status um but yeah and you also you could like send money if you're out with your friends and whatever and they're paying for that you can send the money with cash app as well um but yeah you can uh get the cash app card and enjoy that and uh yeah new cash app customers can earn ten dollars if they use the code cash app 10 uh at sign up and send five dollars to a friend within 14 days terms apply cash app is a financial services platform not a bank banking services provided by cash app's bank partner prepaid debit cards issued by sutton bank member fdic cash app visa debit flex cards issued by sutton bank members fdic and the bank corp bank pursuant to a license of to a license from visa usa incorporated see terms and conditions for the sun for prepaid cards sutton debit flex card and bank corp debit flex card i have to read this like this cash app green features savings direct deposit roundups overdraft coverage and discounts provided by cash app a block incorporated brand visit cash app dot app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures but again uh new cash app customers can earn ten dollars if they use the code cash app 10 in their profile at sign up and send five dollars to a friend within 14 days all right so go check out the cash app folks so just to put a bow on that conversation what are your thoughts on this whole dopamine sites where they're fake online shopping i don't know that i would get anything from that i i get more like i do get something out of because i do find myself shopping online when i'm like bored like you'll go look up things to buy yeah like if i'm just sitting on my couch and you know i'm just kind of like whatever i'll be like you know let me maybe i'll buy some clothes i'll like go to the sites that i like to go to and see if there's anything do you think online shopping makes it feel less like shopping than shopping in store and that's why people are like but like isn't it like that's why people are more inclined because there's a sense of like i'm not physically handing money over to someone i'm not physically taking my card out and doing it it's just like now you can pre-load your card your credit card or debit card into your phone and you can literally see something and just click one button and you're done what was the question do you think that online shopping is people are so in love with it because it feels less like shopping than actual in-store shopping i think it's just convenience like you don't have to get up and go why does everything need to be convenient though like i agree that things shouldn't be like that personally for me i don't like i never felt compelled to go out and go shopping not a thing that i like oh i like it i feel like it's like nice to like you also feel like rewarding like it you're looking for something and then you go and you find it you're like i gotcha but it's rare that i know what i'm looking for before i see it really yeah like i i don't i i know like you don't go in something you don't go in saying like i have this event or this something coming up and i want to get clothes for that but i so no really no like that's what because we're going on vacation soon and like my approach was just like oh i want to get something for the vacation for like yeah the stuff like that so like you go in with like an idea at least a general structure you're going in just fucking raw dogging stores yeah isn't i feel like that's what makes shopping more fun is when you don't know exactly what you want so you're going in you're browsing you're like oh look at that i feel like that makes it more dangerous if you go with like a sense of like yeah it's like going to the supermarket hungry if you're going to a store just because you want to shop like you're doing yourself a disservice you should be going and just like but what do you describe are you describing something that's different than what i'm saying like if i'm if i know because i'm going to portugal soon i'm like i need some new clothes for portugal but i don't know what i want i'm just go simple flex what's a simple flex going to portugal no i i hear what you're saying i just feel like will you go to stores knowing like i want that item yeah sometimes that has happened how do you know that like you sometimes i'll look up and i'll say like oh target carries it and i'll go to target for that item okay you know because i don't like the waiting the waiting the way then is the hardest part you remember that song tom petty yeah it's a good one uh i just because then i buy it and then it's like it'll be there in two and a half days and those two days i'm just seeing refresh refresh refresh all the shipping you know notifications and i just want it give me what i bought i i don't know that's interesting but you're talking about convenience what about patience fucking both well there you go it's solved i do it i do it more as like a discipline thing like you said i'm edging my my shopping skills do you shop a lot not a lot do you fake shop a lot oh yeah really often every day i i have like like two dozen tabs on my phone right now of stuff that i've added into carts i can't even think about that yeah i'd never have tabs oh i have like because i use google chrome and it'll say like inactive like i haven't opened them in like two weeks or something like that and it goes to a separate tab i'll just go in and reopen all of them just so they're all there what is that about you can't even throw away tabs you can't even throw away tabs i'll throw them away i'll throw them away right now no i don't not frankie i don't want to be the reason why you're throwing these tabs away you're not doing anything frank no one's going to think anything of you because you changed your tabs just keep your tabs we're thinking of something right now we're thinking you know i think that if anything it makes me a more disciplined person and better than you okay um i feel like uh so how so you say like every day you'll throw something in a cart yeah every day just to do it yeah why not and like things that i have no intent on buying sometimes too like i'm not going to buy you know a new like watch right now but i'll just go and i'll be like that's a nice one i'll put in the cart and then i'll just back away like that episode of homer uh the simpsons where homer's in the bush yeah you know i'm just like don't you like get an email and they're like hey yeah you'll have something back sometimes sometimes i do yeah but that's a good email dude i hate that i don't that's why i don't give when you go to the times you go to brick and mortar stores and they say like what's your email uh what's your email what do you say i give him my email oh i say no thank you well i'm not brave so i can't say that i i think i go to my social i'd probably give it up honestly the i was shopping the other day and the guy goes uh can i get your email and i go oh no thanks and he goes just it's for the uh receipt and i go i'll take a paper receipt and he goes this guy's relentless that's what he said to me i mean yeah i mean at the same time i think that like bro stop i just like any time a business asks for your phone number or your email just say no just say no part of my part of i guess that's part of the reason why i don't even like in-person shopping you have to deal with people it's a whole song and dance well zara now has self-checkouts do they yeah wow so you can go up buy your shit and get out of there you don't need to get checked out by a 19 year old that has like eight bracelets on one arm why do they all like that dude and they're big like all the people that work at zara are like covered in bracelets like it's coachella yes yes and then you go across to like zoomies and it's just like the skaters i've never been inside of the zoomies i've been inside of a zoomies before you should go to journeys all the time though yeah journeys i've i've gone to journeys i don't know if i've ever bought anything at a journeys so i have i like i like let's see what they have they've had the exact same stuff since 2006 yeah there's nothing different see that's the other thing too if i like if i'm like all right i need to shop for a trip and then i go to the mall and i go to the mall and i see i don't see a lot of stuff that i like then i'm like you know i just wasted a whole day on this when i could just be sitting on my couch and like going to five stores at once look at your standards lower them a little bit just to get something that scratches the itch what lower your standards a little what does that mean well like you don't need to be like i have this idea in my mind if you see something that's kind of along the lines of what you want you just get that you're already there well no i'm not gonna do that that's stupid how is that stupid because i said so right i'd rather just i'd rather be able to be like okay let's see what they got over here whatever like a lot of places are are like dropping new stuff all the time so i'm like what's new i want to check out what's new at this store so i'll just go and i'll look i won't put something unless I'm buying it. - How do you feel about, all right, you feel about i'm gonna give you three places you tell me you rank that's six go ahead i'm gonna give you three places you rank your favorite to least favorite okay okay a strip mall an outlet are those different yeah what's a strip mall like a strip mall is like like portobello yeah yeah that but like if there's stores there yeah yeah an outlet and that's just like a mini city of stores okay it's like a little village oh okay there's like walkways yeah and it's also different like it's like they're like the clothes that didn't sell well on like actual price they send them over to the outlet right yeah or one floor of a mall yes or like a mall proper um but the outlets are normally outside too yeah i don't i haven't spent too much time at outlets because they don't really exist out where i am right now in new york city yeah like they don't have outlets yeah yeah but you can they're very popular outlets not that far from here yeah and i've gone to them a couple times but um which ones do i like hate going to or which ones do i respect the least oh that's are those different answers yeah okay i think i know which one you're gonna say you respect the least what shopping malls like like a mall like queen center mall no i i respect a mall i hate a mall why because it's like it's like i i just don't like it why are you one of those people that walk in and you're just like capitalism no i just like i hate a food court oh shut up do you like the food court food courts are the best parts of every mall we're all adults and we're back in fifth grade lunch bro the the the quality of a mall it lives and dies with the quality of its food court i will not that is so crazy to me dude i hate a food court it's dude a food court is so cool where else can you see taco bell and a fucking chinese and sabaro's coexisting in the same that's what i'm saying there's like breathable space 10 very different cuisines all lined up next to each other and then i'm gonna i'm gonna take a high school tray back to my table what are we this guy is so oh well let me guess you want them all separated and you don't want them to all talk at all you want segregation of them all you want segregation of them all you want segregation of the food chain stores it's all fast food it is but who cares me i don't a lot of them are now like it's becoming a thing where like malls are like like they're like veering away or staying away from like big chain places like that because our the current generation of people that are spending a lot of time at the mall are a lot more health conscious yeah so like it'll be more like poke bowls and healthy salad places and stuff like that so uh it's changed dude you gotta go to a food court no and then there's like i literally don't need that why would i need to go to a food because of fucking food bro a food court is everything at times that is right with this country dude everything like don't make me do this joey you know like it you know why i'm passionate about food courts well what does that mean what what were you gonna say i think he should go too i think we should i think it'll bring him back oh yeah let's let's go on a field trip to a food court what are we talking about dude and then you go and you always get free samples of the greatest tasting orange chicken you've ever had in your life and then you get it from the chinese spot and it comes in it comes by weight they give you eight pounds of rice and noodles and orange chicken that doesn't taste like the sample you just had i don't i don't like the idea of any of this i don't know why you guys even enjoy the way you're describing it doesn't even sound good because it is it is at times everything that is right with this country it is the beauty of coexisting among different people with the shared goal of wanting to consume food in the basement of a mall most of the time yeah it's why is it always in the fucking basement there's no windows and i'm and i'm like i'll just eat before i get here no dude i'm not going to the mall shopping starving i don't like i don't need to get panda here are the rules here are the rules i i'll get a pretzel though i was i'm not against you know what i'm not against kiosks i'm not against those so here's the way to do it go to a mall get a pretzel and i'm talking an auntie ann's if wetzel's still exists wetzel's is fine as well but you get one of those fucking whatever they actually are mall pretzels yeah you eat that with a fountain drink it could be water it could be soda whatever and then you shop and then you go to the food court with all your bags and you're like let me go and get a fucking empanada from this place that is not going to be here in a week and a half just not not my vibe at all oh yeah you made it sound worse somehow also i'm done shopping yeah and then i'm going to the food go in the middle yeah it has to be before but like here's my thing when would you go to the food court going after you're already done shopping to me is like yeah just go home what are we doing i could go anywhere right now because you smell the beautiful aroma of the combination of a pizza crunch a sabaro's slice of pizza with the reddest pepperoni you've ever seen in your life and then a fucking three piece of popeyes fried chicken no dude life oh if there's a popeyes i'll do that life begins in a food in a food court dude no life doesn't it and then you go and you're like wait why are taco but it like blows your mind you're like taco bell and popeyes are boys that they share a counter and like you could get them both there together no no you have lost your way i fear i legitimately i fear that you have lost your way because i don't like food courts yeah and i don't like you forgot where you came from i came from the food you came up a version of joe santa anna was birthed in the food court basement of queen center mall no he wasn't i hated it my entire life no frank when did i go to the food court there were times we had gone together because you would take the bus sometimes to meet up with me there and i've i've done it before but like i didn't like go to the mall a lot i feel like the food court and like that mall was such a big part of the prep experience you know yeah because the bus dropped you at the door in between both of the buildings my entire high school career i've probably walked into that mall like when i got dropped off there like under 10 times whoa wow i used to i well you know i my my like middle slash high school girl high school girlfriend i used to pick her up from the bus there and then we would go in she'd get a drink from her her dunkin donuts and we'd walk the mall a little bit i just wasn't and we would go see the awesome warner brothers store and be like that's a fucking cool store dude oh my god yellow rat bastard we could see yellow rat bastard upstairs then we can go downstairs and go to spencer's and we could fucking you got to see if they have nipple gummy worms or some shit hell yeah you know yeah um and they had a game stop right by the food court the game stop i that's where i got my super smash brothers brawl i used to go every day i would pick up my then girlfriend and i would give three dollars every day because i would save my mom would give me three dollars in the morning to get breakfast and i wouldn't and i would just eat breakfast at school because it was free way to go ma and i would every day i would bring three dollars that i'd go to the mall and eventually i after a couple of weeks i paid it off and i got my super smash brothers brawl wow so i mean i yeah i don't have uh nostalgic ties to the mall i respect it as a building because i i if we're gonna do this i'd like it to be contained in a building it's just all stores should be in a building in a in a like a contain a let's let's call it a confinement well if we're going to make something insane where it's just like let's put as many stores as possible in one place like okay let's just put them in a building and we'll close it off so you're what you're saying no fucking windows what you're saying is you want to separate the stores that you like and don't like and put all the ones that you don't like in a building where they can't get out no i'm not saying that i'm saying that like if we're like oh we're gonna do we're gonna shop and you want to put them all and you want there you want to be like a prison and there's and it's just gonna be no windows like i get it i get i respect the fact that the mall exists the the uh outlets are you know uh they're you're not gonna be able to get out of the mall you're you pick a side be something like stanford i mean they are outlets they are they are the kind of middle like they are the clothes they try to be parks kind of it'll be like oh you want to shop at j crew here's the j crew factory outlet oh and everything in here is 85 off and you're like what the fuck yeah where am i i i don't also when when when there's really good deals at all the stores i'm like what what's going on i get suspicious i do like i don't like this like i feel like i'm being like i'm you know someone's doing something i agree i think like it's like the closest i've ever gotten to feeling like i'm in the truman show when i walk into a place and everything is on sale at all the stores i want to go to i'm like who the fuck did this yeah and also i don't like when the signs are bright orange 80 off everything must go now i just feel bad for you i want to i don't want to i don't want to help you yeah what do you think everything must go i don't work here you throw it out like the fuck i don't want it either no one wanted yeah i'm with you on that one when they're just like going out of business everything must go and i'm just like everything doesn't have to go and it definitely doesn't have to go home with me yeah i'm shocked i like that they're a little bit outdoors i don't like that they're this in between like they like to be they put trees they like to be like a park or whatever it's like yo you're a fucking mall but not even really like you're almost a mall yeah put a roof on this thing and call yourself a mall malls are cool man and i'm sorry that i like a strip mall i do feel that you have lost your way i haven't i do feel like that so much of the american experience is going to a shopping mall and i think that's terrible we're i know and we're seeing that now because all the people that are here for the world cup are like experiencing america yeah and they're like seeing a cheeseburger in a shopping mall and they're it's some poor norwegian person that's never been here before and they're like what is this yeah what's the mall called the american dream yo that place is you could surf you could snowboard you could surf you can go in a water park a full like i've been to a full water park there dude you went to the water park yeah a couple years ago we brought because it's like um they have a theme park a nickelodeon theme park and then a full fucking water park with like a lazy river and a fucking wave pool i can't i can't get behind any of this yeah i don't know and then you could go outside and you could go and get a shirt from fucking yeah you know airy what is that i don't it's just a store the first one i thought of when i or like then you go downstairs and there's you know anthropology right or francesca's is that one of them i don't think i could do a lazy river in a mall frank what part of me is going to a water park in a fucking mall yo to be fair it was kind of not the worst you miss out on the best part about being at the water park the sun i mean no the whole ceiling is like fluorescent lights like we're bugs it's like it's like a like a see-through glass so the sun is still coming in but you're in a fish tank basically yeah and it smells like iguanas i will say that it does smell like an iguana bro i i went to that mall recently i'm like this whole place smells like iguanas dude i hate the mall that i love the mall it's just but all the floors in a mall are are a bathroom floor and i don't like that no it's not charming although the one that we went to in texas i was like this is a nice mall guess what it was a luxury mall apparently the mall at short hills yes it was it had a rolex dealership it doesn't make that yeah that store but dealership like it's a car but there was like a lids there was like not yeah i know so so there are malls are doing now that i have seen i'm i'm keyed in on malls joey clearly is they're trying to transition toward being like half luxury half um like kind of like regular consumer stores so like there's a mall i went to which it currently holds the record for my favorite mall um it it's what's so funny about that how far is the gap between first and second place i'll do a better one how many malls are on this fucking list at least five or six i've been to like four malls in my life the big mall it's called the king of prussia mall it's like half like luxury because think about the people that are shopping luxury in store are people of an older demographic so like uh-huh they have so they have like ysl rolex brightling chanel and then you go further down and you'll find your journeys right you know your color me mine your you know fucking cinnabon i'll do i'll do i'll even i'll meet you here because it's not about luxury i went to recently the uh in um what's it called hudson why hudson yards hudson yards jesus um hudson yards like the vessel like there's like a mall in there and those are all like luxurious places didn't like that i but but man i don't know like apparently the mall at short hills is really nice i've never gone but apparently it's really really nice i can't do a mall i love malls because it reminds me of where i came from which is something that we all need to hold hands and hold on but i didn't come from a mall you kind of did though i didn't there's not even a mall near us you were birthed in the queen center mall you i was not you remember how fucking cool we felt going to roosevelt field mall and just being like okay damn we're going shopping at roosie yeah i went to roosevelt field mall and you felt rich well i assumed that everyone there was rich and you felt like you're walking amongst them first of all i felt poor well because they had a lawn they felt rich where the reality is you laugh in their face now bitch i i i've never liked a mall that has nothing to do with that and we didn't grow up going to the mall we did grow up going to that strip mall we did we grew up hanging out in the strip mall that's fine we would hang outside of a subway on a bench that was like most of our childhood that was that strip mall was uh like a department whatever like whatever it was genevese then it was eckerd right it was right aid then who knows what it is now then it was a pet store then next to it was a pet store right and then next to that was the entrance to the gym and then it was like the headquarters for like the iron workers union right and then it was subway and then it was king china oh no portobello portobello then king china buffet now it's like a 99 cent store is it i think so i couldn't tell and then there was like a magnesium that's where the teen club was that yes that's where we used to go and fucking there was a teen club at the end of the 13 brother yeah dude you you walk past subway a pet store where i used to buy a ton of crickets to get to the place where we would go shake our asses to go fucking listen to to to d4l yeah and sean paul and drink a shirley temple while someone weirdly overage was there i would wear i would wear a button down that fit my oldest brother and not me yeah because i thought that's what you were supposed to wear 100 i would wear a that that excuse me i would wear a shirt that assumed that i was a cocaine dealer right to to to not not only a cocaine cocaine dealer but the best ever best the best cocaine dealer yeah like the one the one that had all of that snow man uh man i i i you know maybe maybe the mall is a thing for me i do feel like you were there more than you're giving it credit for i really didn't spend that much time in malls did you do that you probably went to the mall a lot because you live near the mall we were a big part like when you said the mall wasn't part of your prep experience i believe you because that that was a big thing why i like the mall is because after prep we used to go to the mall all the time really yeah like the bus left you right there and then we would sometimes like kind of just walk but you live yeah i live much i live much closer like we were near the mall we had to like take the fucking bus to the mall which i'm like train the train when the r went right to the stop to the door i've done that too that's what i used to do is i used to after middle school i'd get on the r train the r sucked you have to take the fucking end to the r the r sucks no i would take the bus to my middle school was down the block from the r train oh well see yeah that's different and then i would go i'd meet my girlfriend there we would hang out and then i'd take the r train to drop her off that left her at her school i mean at her house then i just walk home yeah i mean the mall man it was out of it was out and you don't remember the gay hairdresser at the mall you remember the queen center mall wait is that the guy who just spray you with shit yes yeah there was a gay guy at the mall bro look up queen center mall is he gonna pop up there's i guarantee he will come up there's queen center queen center very like notorious gay guy there who uh would sell he was selling like perfumes and stuff and he would just let it rip on you oh yeah you walked by you were getting it hit me in the mouth multiple times i was like dude but also like it was just flat up like flat out doing people's hair next to the escalator like that's what they do the kiosks man bro do you know have you what was the last time you were in a sephora uh a couple maybe within the last two years sephora is a battle zone dude like it's a battleground brother macy's people are sephora is insane because there's women everywhere they're like everything's and it's just it's madness then there's three people getting their makeup done professionally in the middle of the store before you even get to the register also they have a wild return policy like you could return this thing like after you've used it they don't care yeah it's like what is this macy's is the same way macy's you walk in and it's like the fragrance section you're going through like chemical warfare basically i feel that way about yankee candle i walked into one i shit my pants because of this my my body didn't know how to process all of it at once not only that bath and body works that's a store with a lot of smells dude yeah you the deeper you get into bath and body works the just the nerve endings in your nose are just burnt away yeah because you're like wait a sec i could smell apple here peach over there vetiver over there lavender like you it's all over the place i do like that dude moles are awesome and they're going away which also sucks but also doesn't suck i used to fuck up bath and body works to be honest i would you i had a streak of every time i walked in there i would accidentally spend 150 bucks really accidentally i would we would get we so before covid we went in like not thinking we should go and they had like for like they had dollar hand sanitizers that were 80 or 70 alcohol and we went and bought like 30 just to have and then we were like then covid came we were like oh we're kind of okay because remember like wait there was no covid and you ripped 30 dollar hand sanitizer yeah dude just like for because like we would keep some in the in the house some in becca's bag some in the car 30 yeah that's a that's a lot i mean but we you're huge on sanitizer hand sanitizer i love my hand sanny handy sanny i don't know man and look we're all better off for me doing that and by we i mean me right which in theory is also you and you yes sure all right um well yeah i guess i mean maybe i'm in the minority i'm sure people love malls but i i just i'd never really like the mall malls i'll ride for malls always unless they do some stupid shit there's a mall in jersey that sucks ass dude and they deserve to not be around anymore oh why just because they suck oh well also food courts can go to straight to hell nah that's crazy dude go to hell i'm not even joking like i know sometimes you accuse me of like just like trying to bait you and rage bait you that is legitimately upsetting to me that's crazy that's like enjoying airport food you're like oh my god i love the airport no it's different it's it's it's the communal airport is a food court it's it's a communal experience airports try to appear like they're like restaurants but it's just it's it's fast food what is a food court what is a food court it's fast food appearing it's fast food i don't know how that's better but let us know in the comments if you think uh if i'm if i'm just being too bougie and i don't i don't like food courts or malls i think you might be maybe um but yeah i guess that's all frank we're gonna find you the frank alvarez all over social media patreon.com slash the basement yard and the basement yard everywhere and you can find me at ant prisco and go follow me at joe sanagato go follow the show at the basement yard on tiktok and instagram and that is all see you guys next time beautiful on any journey using uber it helps to know you're getting into the right car pin verification adds an extra step to make sure your ride is your ride before the trip begins your app gives you a unique pin just tell it to your driver and they'll enter it in their app before the ride can start hey what's your pin two five three eight that would be your ride you know you're in the right car taking the right trip and your driver knows you're the right passenger make sure your ride is your ride with pin verification from uber one more way uber is putting safety at every turn learn more on the uber app

Podcast Summary

Key Points:

  1. The hosts discuss the New York Knicks winning the championship, celebrating the city's unified reaction and criticizing gatekeeping of sports fandom.
  2. They debate the merits of online shopping versus in-store shopping, with one host preferring physical stores and the other enjoying the convenience and anticipation of packages.
  3. A conversation about malls, food courts, and retail spaces highlights differing opinions, including nostalgia for childhood hangouts and disdain for certain shopping environments.
  4. The episode includes sponsored segments for SeatGeek, Angry Orchard, Wayfair, and Cash App, along with promotions for their Patreon and live shows.
  5. They also touch on personal topics like being naked at home, parental memories, and a lighthearted argument about fake shopping websites ("dopamine sites").

Summary:

In this episode of "The Basement Yard," the hosts, Frank and Joe, open with excitement over the New York Knicks winning the championship, reflecting on the emotional celebration across the city and the sense of community it fostered. They criticize fans who gatekeep team loyalty, arguing that supporting your team should be inclusive, not exclusive. The conversation then shifts to shopping habits, where they debate online versus in-store experiences.

Joe defends online shopping for its convenience and the thrill of receiving packages, while Frank prefers tactile, in-store purchases, despite disliking the waiting and return process. They also explore the concept of "dopamine sites" from South Korea, where people fake shop to get a rush without spending money, which Joe admits to doing regularly. The discussion transitions to malls, with Joe passionately defending food courts as communal experiences, while Frank finds them unappealing.

They reminisce about childhood trips to malls like Queen Center and Roosevelt Field, sharing nostalgic stories of teen clubs and kiosks. Throughout, they weave in sponsored ads for SeatGeek, Angry Orchard, Wayfair, and Cash App, and promote their Patreon and upcoming live shows. The episode ends with a humorous debate about personal habits, like being naked at home, and a final ad for Uber's pin verification feature, emphasizing safety.

FAQs

ShareMyTrip lets you send your live trip location to friends and family in real time, so they can track your ride and ensure you arrive safely.

They find it frustrating because it actively roots against your own team by excluding new or different fans, especially in a diverse city like New York.

One host stayed home due to feeling unwell but opened his window to hear the city's celebration, feeling emotional about the unity and joy of fans.

South Korea created a fake shopping site where you can browse, fill a cart, and track delivery without buying anything, to get a dopamine hit from shopping.

He likes to see and feel items before buying, dislikes waiting for delivery, and finds the in-store experience more rewarding, despite the convenience of online shopping.

One host loves food courts for their variety and communal vibe, while the other dislikes them, finding them unappealing and preferring to eat elsewhere.

Chat with AI

Loading...

Pro features

Go deeper with this episode

Unlock creator-grade tools that turn any transcript into show notes and subtitle files.