#558 - FRANK FIRES JOE!! + New Tour Dates

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Remember those commercials? Like, Girls Gone Wild years ago? Yeah, we talked about this. They got in trouble, right? The dudes who- Yeah. Of course. No, because I think, like, they had someone underage in one of their videos. Oh. Yeah. Well, I just thought they got in trouble because it's, like, it's kind of a douchey thing. Well, yeah, they're douchebags. They're pieces of shit. But, like- It's Mardi Gras. Yeah, it's like, welcome, Girls Gone Wild. Like, you're a loser, dude. You've never seen- That's the- Act like you've seen a boo. Exactly. But, they're great. I'm never going to argue against that. But, like, you know how, like, they say, like, you know, when an athlete wins a championship, and they're just like, act like you've been here before. Well, it's a championship. If you're going to win a regular season and you're going to pop champagne, then you've got to act like you've been there before. Yeah, I do, honestly, like, I do sometimes feel a way about that. I know that there's so much hard work that goes into, like, winning the division or winning the conference or something like that. You don't like champagne? I meant, like, champagne at celebrations. If I am the New York Yankees, okay, not a player, if I'm, like, in the front office and they, like, win because they, like, got in because another team lost, not because, like, they, like, won the division. You know what I mean? Like, remember a couple years ago where, like, I think it was last year, the Mets lost because the Reds won a game, like, across the fucking country or something like that? If you win under those pretenses, I'm like, you don't deserve it. You don't deserve to pop champagne for that. Um, I mean, you play the whole year. They play 180 games. I know, but if your hand, like, your fate is in the hands of another team's success or failure, for me, that is, like. I mean, that's always the case, though. Not necessarily. I mean, you could win 80 games and that last game, well, whatever. That is the exact situation where I'm saying, I don't know if that is pop champagne worthy. I mean, I understand what you're saying if it's, like, you, like, if you win the first round of the playoffs, poppin' champagne is probably a little crazy. I'm not even saying the first round of the playoffs. I honestly almost, I believe, I think it's fine the deeper you get into the playoffs, especially the first round. I think it's fine if you win the thing. The whole thing. Also, like, you don't think, like, if you win the championship, like, the division series, that, like, poppin' champagne is, like, cool? I don't know. I don't know. Like, it can't mirror, like, it can't mirror the finals or the World Series. You know what I'm saying? Like, if it looks the same, then why would we do that? That's a great point. Honestly, you're more now on my side. Well, yeah. I'm, like, I'm thinking, like, if you're going to celebrate, how the fuck are we talking about this? Why are we painting this up? I don't know. Oh, because I was showing you my tits. Oh. And when does that come into the celebration? Well, have you seen, like, the thing that people are doing at baseball games now, the tarps off? No. You haven't seen tarps off? No. I mean, I know what tarps off is. I mean, two and two together, baby. Just put them together. Tarp, get off of me. Yeah. Maybe because it's really hot out. You know, I don't know the reason they started doing it, but, like, Ant, pull up a. Wait, people are dumping their boobs out at baseball games? I don't think it's tits. It's, like, the male fans. Male nipple. are going to games, and, like, maybe it's a rally thing. They're popping top? They're just taking their shirts off, to the point where, like, mascots are doing it now. Mascots got their tits out? Yeah. Like, I saw one for the White Sox that, like, the White Sox, I forgot what their mascot is, but it's taken its tarps off. Okay. And, like, mascot tits are out. It's got anything good under there? It's, like. Just hair, fur? It's, like, fuzzy, like Elmo. Like, it's nothing to. I mean, I'm not against that. You're not against Elmo's tits? No, I meant, like, furry. Well, not, like, fur. Not, like, a fur. Not. Back up. Cut that. Not, like, fuzzy. But, like, you know what I'm saying? Do they have. Did you ever have a pair of fuzzy handcuffs growing up that's such a Frankie thing? Shut the fuck up. You definitely did. I don't think so. I'm trying. You carried it around in a string backpack with your Axe body spray. Say it. No, I remember. Back up! Okay? I definitely had the string backpack with, like, things in it that I guarded with my life. Axe body spray was definitely in there. Obviously, a Swiss Army knife. A Swiss Army knife. It wasn't a Swiss. It was just a switchblade knife. Like. Not a switchblade. Like, I was fucking, like. Yeah, who are you? A greaser. It was just, like, one of those, like, knives. That, like, you go like this, and it just, like, opens up. I believe that's called a switchblade. Is it? Yeah. No, because a switchblade is, like, spring-loaded, which those are illegal. Because it's spring-loaded? Yeah. But I don't think I ever had. Maybe I have, and I don't remember. Fuzzy handcuffs. I remember I was once gifted, like, gummy handcuffs, and I was like, These are gonna get eaten. This is so antithetical to what they're supposed to be. Yeah. Like, you think I can't break out of gummies? I'm gonna eat these things. But also, I've gotten fuzzy handcuffs. I don't know if I've used them, maybe. As, like, a, you know. Because you get them as a gift. I remember we had a. Remember the dice? You get dice, and you're like. The dice are, like, suck nipple, rub neck, pinch inner thigh. Sex dice are the dumbest things on the planet. It's, like, they have a couple of dice. The first one says, like, suck, lick, tickle, rub, or whatever. And then the next one's, like, neck. Knees. Thighs. But it's never, like. It's never, like, the things that you want to. It's never, like, the things that you want to suck, sip, nipple, tug. Yeah, exactly. You know? It's none of the things you want to nibble on. It's always, like, rub, knee. I'm like, what are we doing here? Well, I think the idea is, like, it's supposed to, like, walk you to the front door of the party. It's like, ooh, foreplay dice. It grabs your hand, and it's just like, here's the front door. Walk on in. Bro, if you're a person out there, and you and your significant other are getting in the heat of the moment because of. I mean. Dice! I don't. But, like. Dice! You know, hold on. Back up. I am going to. We're playing Yahtzee! First of all, fuck Yahtzee. Second of all. I love Yahtzee. What the hell are you talking about? You don't like Yahtzee? Do me a favor. You need me to change your diaper, you geriatric old bastard? You love Yahtzee? What, it's also your next favorite game, Parcheesi? Fuck you. Dude, you love, like, Trouble or Risk. Who doesn't love Trouble? And I've never played Risk. Trouble! Trouble. There's no Trouble! There is Trouble when you get into Trouble because it's like. Oops, you're going back. That's every game! Trouble and Sorry are basically the same thing, but one of them has a super cool poppy dicey thing in the middle. Don't talk shit on Trouble. I don't hate Trouble. Hear me out. Because how board games are all, like, rebranding and stuff. There's, like, 40 different versions of Uno out there. I know. If it's, like, Trouble, but it's with sex dice. Worse! Now that I'm saying it, it sucks. You're going to pop this thing and it's going to be like, Suck teeth! Suck teeth! Go fuck yourself! Four spaces, you know? But, uh, what was I going to say? Yeah, Yahtzee sucks. I think that. Have you ever hit a Yahtzee? Like, a real Yahtzee? Dude, I haven't played Yahtzee or Boggle in not even a joke 25 years. Is Boggle the words? Boggle is the one where it's just like, let's get a word in this cup. Yeah, yeah, I'm good. It's so stupid, dude. Yahtzee's cool, though, because you have five dice landing on one thing. The idea of, like, rattling together five dice sounds cool. I wish I could do it in my mouth, though. Like, the idea of, like, you want to bounce around five dice in your mouth? Kind of. Time to grow up, Peter Pan. What the hell is that? Fantasy. You think they'll know? Yeah, what are you talking about? I don't know. It's just, like, the idea of, like. You want a bunch of marbles in your mouth. Oh, I do want marbles in my mouth. I'm not going to lie. Okay, I want that, too. I'm not going to lie about that. I feel like it would definitely fuck up your teeth, but I would do it. I understand sex dice. Not everyone is so confident in, like, being able to, like, engage in, like, foreplay. So, like, maybe it helps them. Maybe it, like, I think it's more of a crutch than it is, like, a tool. What about the other things where it's, like, here's this lube and it tastes like strawberry lemonade? I'm like, who needs that? We did a full episode trying stuff like that. Do you remember? Didn't we, like, chew? You chewed on a condom? I broke. I don't remember doing that. I remember breaking a pair of fuzzy handcuffs, though. Like, I was. Yeah, you blasted, like. First of all, they were fuzzy, but they were also, like, leather. And you blasted them. Yo, I fucking absolutely, like, supermanned through those. Yeah, it was like the Hulk, but, like, horny. Quite impressive. I'm also on a streak. I mean, I don't want to spoil it. Maybe we'll get into it. I showed my strength yesterday. Shady, strong guy. We'll say this. Frank, limber. Yep. And also, there's a lot of power in the legs. Show the tarps off going back. Show the tarps off before I argue about how fucking dog shit, what's it called, Yahtzee is. But, like. I'm not going to do it because I'm definitely not that confident it in my body but if i went to a game and i saw this i would be hype dude dude that's a weird thing to say oh hold on let me back up all those kids are if i was that age 18 19 if i was that age yeah hold on can you pick up the phone for a sec yeah clarify that the idea of 19 year old boys doesn't get with their shirts off gets me excited i didn't mean but i already wrote that down okay no no never mind it's already written down no fuck if i was like if us and all of our friends went to a game and this was like a trend i would be pumped well it was a thing that you would like paint your chest i never did that i mean i didn't go to a fucking school that was in a 1990s like rom-com teen rom-com movie but like it's not like a thing anymore but like back in the day people would go to games and all the big fans i mean they still do it like oakland like they'll have well not r.i.p but the raiders they like las vegas las vegas they like paint their faces i know that is a little outrageous that's a level of fandom that i am not now for like my biggest fandom i am not there but if you were in the mlb like i think i would show up with like a couple of our friends and i would paint like a big f and then like get an r and a you know what i mean yeah they're like it'd be funny for a time there were people in my college they did that but i was at the time because they recently have gone d1 guess it's a cool plug for a school i'm no longer at um but they were d3 at the time and i remember being like this does not match the level of skill this team has what painting your chest yeah they were they called themselves like the big blue wrecking crew and i was like this is a d3 football stadium yeah but you stadium it was some bleachers i think that if you're in college and there's enough beer involved go nuts paint your face i yeah you know i'm not gonna i'm not gonna either definitely not confident good for the people that are to do that not like you would have you've painted your face before such a frankie thing i mean what do we do i mean have i painted my face for like birthday parties i can't think of like outside of a birthday party painting my face but above the age of 14 painting your face i used eye black in a non-racially insensitive way like a single line or like that wait answer yeah you didn't when you played rugby you didn't use eye black no i never used eye black i honestly i did it didn't look like it did anything oh i used it once and then i sweat and it came down my whole face first of all that's the best part dude i use it for football i remember doing it and then being like you do like the fig rub down and it just looked fucking mean yeah that shit was cool that's the whole point of it it's not because of the sun who cares about the sun this is for looking cool i mean joe looked like the guy that put like a cross on it or something yeah no no joe i know exactly what joey would do he would do the cross on one side and then his number on the other like because he was by the way you know what his fucking numbers were do you know this i know you know this one of them was 22 which is a legitimate number why because he like clyde the glide drexler no it was my brother's number also you like clyde drexler you openly used to say that okay which i can guarantee your dad liked clyde drexler and you had no idea who this person was and he was just like i like clyde drexler yeah absolutely yeah and two you know what his football number was brother well first of all when you played for your school i believe your number was 92. no no no but it's not a tight end no no so my my uh sophomore year i joined the team like late like i didn't do uh camp but i joined late and i was given 92 because there was no more numbers left but then i got 18. yes which is a fine number what do you think is like i can pick my number football number was dude it is the most like attention seeking number on the planet attention seeking number well it can't be 69 right no it's not that kind of guy no also depending on position what it's just one number one no no it was zero yeah that's the second one that's the second word and he would call himself agent zero because gilbert arenas would cause gilbert arenas okay that sucks what are you writing down i'm gonna piece of don't worry about it don't light it don't write it down they're gonna see it don't do it uh but it was i forgot how we got there oh the tarps the tarps off thing you wouldn't you wouldn't partake i'd pop it if it was hot enough bro when i went to the baseball game with him it was scorching i could have used a pop of the top of the tarp and the bottom like anything that would do you more harm than good anything that would do you more harm than good yeah i would have burnt this body but if i covered myself and screen i yeah ah no you wouldn't and i wouldn't allow you to honestly to pop if i was with you at a baseball game and you were like i'm taking my shirt off i would say please don't what if i was painted that makes it somehow worse because you're a grown man but what if you got free tickets for being painted where are the tickets wherever you want anywhere i want not anywhere but like within re no they're anywhere but you but there have to be a seat like you can't sit i'm not again i i just i don't like if if you got the tickets because you painted and i can keep my shirt on i'll be fine no what if it was like there was like a brand deal came in it's like yo you can go to you know the knicks finals game but you guys gotta you're gonna be on tv and you're gonna be popped and you're gonna be painted for the tick i mean dude the tickets are i don't care i'm not comfortable to be painted i'm not comfortable to be painted taking my shirt off and putting that on the internet for the finals what if it was game seven oh frankie but here's the thing you're popping i would do it uh game seven i'll pop game seven i'm not there i would do it for game five they're up three one because if it's game seven and they lose okay now you're just going home now i'm going home with a painted that's a good point you know what i mean like if it's game five they're up three one then then for the right price maybe okay maybe but like i'm seriously not confident enough to allow that to happen so like the price would need to be like there has to be like a plus confidence rate you know what i mean okay but like plus confidence game seven is tough because if they lose that's winner take all you know yeah you can't go home and lose or cover and paint that sucks but aren't you a good like price per value guy a game seven ticket is worth so much more but the price of me to like the price that i would have to it would cost me more if they lost than it would for me to go to the game because now they lost now they lost being painted i look like this and now the image of me like this is all over you got to go home and wash it off and and you're a loser like and like with like a loofah like yeah like yo we just lost in the finals and now i'm covered in blue and all right that would be tough yeah that would be rough that really really lost lost mental units that day bro also not for now speaking of tickets sorry so sorry people are certainly dead i'm so sorry being one of them yeah can i scream again for you we want people to know what's about to happen oh well the scream is going to get them they'll see the spike in the audio and they'll be like what happened there that's that's why now you're thinking now i don't know that people see the audio levels though they don't see that the sound is going to be that loud and they're just like we need a check for any spikes going on here but listen the boys are coming back on the road i didn't want to scream i didn't want to scream i think whoever edits this can you put like what no no no keep whatever you have really the forts are staying oh well we have been talking about it we announced when we did late night night with seth meyers and uh we said we were going to be doing shows toward the end of the year and we got them yeah listen we we we did at a certain point say that we were going to do shows this year after msg we were like oh you shouldn't have said that um but yeah it's uh we're we're gonna be heading out on the road frank and also the return of greg printouts yeah oh we haven't had a greg printout in quite a while i'm gonna read this word for word so i don't get in trouble because there is parentheses that says don't this up exclamation point yeah and it's bolded and underlined and he doesn't get the opportunity to do printouts like this so you know he was pumped and i don't blame him honestly it's pretty fun listen this is coming up all right so we have the pre-sale starts wednesday june 17th at 12 p.m eastern that's noon uh through june 18th midnight there was one person you had to specify that for the only person we know that didn't know that noon was 12 p.m i bet yes there you go well just again wednesday june 17th at 12 p.m eastern so if you are anywhere that is outside of the eastern time zone in the united states do the conversion you need to do the conversion okay resale code duh basement easy gonna be simple you know it's been the same pre-sale code for every other show we've did idiots also sorry that was too much also it's at the basement.com as always so the basement.com the pre-sale starts wednesday june 17th at noon okay eastern uh and it's gonna run through june 18th midnight by the way technically and through 11 59 p.m greg you this up yeah it's a little confusing whatever uh but the pre-sale just for everyone who like because i know that people are like what the is going on here the pre-sale is when you want to buy tickets okay so we put these things up there's a pre-sale code basement you have the first dibs on the tickets you're going to buy for those you go to the basement.com you'll have all the links there to each show in every city and we're going to go through that right after this but you go to the basement yard you put in uh you know you click on the show you want then you put in the code basement then you could buy your tickets the general sale is whatever's left after the pre-sale basically and sometimes there's a they release a little bit more tickets on the general sale because so if you couldn't get a ticket on the generals of on the pre-sale sometimes there will be tickets but those are much harder to get because there's not a lot left there usually let me just say this too we don't control that yeah we don't just so everyone is clear like i i i i the misconception that it's just like you could do whatever you want with the tickets yeah no yeah and also if it was up to us we would just release the tickets and that would be that but pre-sale uh this is why we push everyone to go to the pre-sale and get the tickets uh our shows have sold out a lot in the past so uh i would be quick with it um but quick with it sorry they're completely unnecessary completely unnecessary question uh pre-code basement all caps doesn't matter there's not not just put in basement it is not case sensitive perfect wednesday june 17th at noon eastern uh that's when the pre-sale starts also basement is one word for those of you that may not know that yes it is the basement.com okay let's go to the shows all right this is what the people want okay september 10th whoa wait hold on we should also specify okay this is the first batch of shows i was getting there yeah i got there first well okay yeah so there's going to be like more to come we're probably going to space them out a lot more uh and just kind of keep a trickle of stuff but we have a decent amount here going into 2027 but these are in 2026 so september 10th 2026 we're starting in durham north carolina what where are you pointing at me do durham do durham do it oh like an accent i feel like north north carolina is like here like a north like a north north carolina well we're gonna have to show up and do that show because so that frank can learn how the people sound because i'm sure that's not it also wait before we even get to the right but like the people right now in durham are just like oh got one this is a brand new show also we're getting rid of a bunch of the uh like this is not even going to be similar to the other shows it's going to be a lot more fun oh uh it's going to be interactive we're going to get some people on stage probs we're going to interact with you guys in the crowd point your finger if you're gonna do nudity point my finger no i'm not doing nudity so there will be joe's gonna have fucking tarps off basement out that one i can't basement um but yeah it's going to be a brand new show uh we have obviously now two years of experience of being on stage we're a lot more comfortable with the show we're going to be doing it so it's going to be a lot more fun and we just want this this round to be super like interactive and just like a fucking great time so we're very excited to do this and like i said september 10th durham we're starting off with durham have you ever been to durham no let me answer that for you september 12th where are we frank charlotte north carolina two shows in north carolina i've never even been to north carolina charlotte the city's so nice that they gave it a name with two t's in it i don't know i i've never been i i think i've driven through it that should be fun yeah you know and then oh after that couple weeks later september 24th minneapolis minnesota we're back we're back we did minneapolis last year mall of america what's up gonna go back to that you think so why not they have a rainforest cafe there they do you went there we should go just so i can see you i can see it and see what you love i would go there so i could piss in the corner we probably get kicked out september 26th from minneapolis over to the other police we're going to indianapolis i know i mean i thought one was going to be too much now we have two now we have two palaces yeah minneapolis uh the minnesota minnesota they're here right oh minnesota why are you saying minnesota minnesota minneapolis minnesota oh but you said indianapolis i said minneapolis minnesota oh okay indianapolis in indiana i don't know i have no idea i'm sorry okay let's go over the dates we have so far because i feel like we're a lot of time in between september 10th durham north carolina september 12th charlotte north carolina september 24th minneapolis september 26th indianapolis october 2nd we're going to charleston south carolina that's where dead i'm so i'm so sorry it's okay i'm so sorry i mean charleston south carolina that's where we're getting into the like the you know like the bible built man yeah like it's melting out molasses spewing out your mouth the office okay uh but yeah so october 2nd charleston south carolina october 3rd atl jojo what it do foe ya come back baby come back back in day the boys are back in atlanta georgia and uh maybe the atl jojo line will hit this time i'm sure it will now october 16th we're going to bethlehem pennsylvania there's a yeah bethlehem the bethlehem bethlehem i believe it's wind creek yes is the casino in bethlehem pennsylvania and then november 7th oh this was this and i'm kind of excited about this was one that people have asked for buffalo new york listen no one moves their herd circles the wagon no one circles the wagon like the buffalo basement yard fans no one moves the herd no one moves the herd in buffalo buffalo new york november 7th uh we're one that we haven't done we have to jump through a table at some point yes holy shit we have to we have to we officially join the bills mafia i'm a jet fan though i feel like that's like sacrilege that is pretty bad but they're not even there that weekend i'm so fucking angry so uh and then uh another the next show after november 7th buffalo new york december 5th baltimore maryland going down for some crab cakes some oysters how you doing uh and then a couple days after that we're doing a leg back in tests this is texas or this ain't tech i'm just gonna yeah but it is texas december 10th we're getting weird again over in austin december 11th dallas texas and then december 13th ending in quite possibly i'm not gonna offend them because i want you guys to buy tickets houston texas we're going back to houston texas that's all we're doing for 2026 because the holidays grow up guys but we're not done bitch also january 15th we're going back to houston texas we're going back to houston texas we're going to frank's backyard it's still close it's closer newark new jersey okay we'll be in newark now our first ever show was in new jersey we're coming back and doing newark all right guess what we love new jersey so much that after the january 15th show the next show we have february 5th that's my backyard baby there it is red bank new jersey count basie theater i i'm excited for you guys to see red bank count basie theater i don't even know i believe so but it's a crazy thing to say and we don't know i'm pretty sure you will love red bank it's fucking awesome we're gonna check it out then now this is my birthday trip that we're going on oh yeah february 23rd and february 24th vancouver we're coming back we did uh just for laughs out there we had two amazing shows there that kicked off our last tour so we are coming back for that and we're coming back for my birthday so those gonna be my birthday shows uh my birthday is february 25th so february 23rd and february 24th in vancouver and then february 26th we're going to be in los angeles oh la california love right exactly give me that please um and then march 12th coming back to chicago oh you know what a time what a theater back to the bean back to the bean joe's gonna flick it yeah if he could bastard um but yeah so those those are the shows that we have booked for now um just to run through them again september 10th durham north carolina september 12th charlotte north carolina september 24th minneapolis minnesota september 26th indianapolis october 2nd charleston october 3rd atlanta october 16th bethlehem pennsylvania november 7th buffalo december 5th baltimore december 10th austin december 11th dallas december 13th houston january 15th newark february 5th red bank new jersey february 23rd and 24th in vancouver the 26th in la and march 12th in chicago okay uh like frank said earlier these are just the beginning we're going to be spreading this out over the course of the next year too in 2027 so there will be more shows booked i can't guarantee where those are going to be or when they're going to be but uh you know we also you know there will be more shows out it is just it is what it is i don't know why i kept laughing when you were saying my birthday because i was thinking of that tiktok where he's just like it's my birthday and i want to show you my girlfriend you remember that and like a bunch of people kept it and it was like showing the dude's hand and it looked like the girls like tied up or something like oh yes yes yes yes that's an old we're very very excited um we have done a lot of you know kind of conversations on our end on what we can do to make this show entirely new and entirely fresh and like give people something so like there is not the feeling of like oh i just saw them like this will be new this will be tailored to make it the most interactive fun borderline crazy experience that it could be and uh i'm excited i know you're excited and don't care how you feel about it but you know you guys were so incredibly supportive and fucking unbelievably like passionate during our first round of shows that we are we're just beyond elated at what this could be i do want to say that truly you um every time like because of your support we are able to to kind of like brag in some sort of way of like yeah we've like done these places and all these people show up for us and it's it's like this awesome thing so you guys have like literally blown this out of proportion and now we have a legitimate like touring career because of all you guys and we truly didn't think that we were going to do shows this year because we didn't know we thought that like ah they're going to be like kind of sick of it and we're going to it but the support has only gotten more and more crazy and yeah we could we talk that shit baby well i'm just saying like that shit baby i feel like we got we got nervous of being like you know we we've done it for two years we've people have already seen us like i think they get it or kind of that thing but i'll tell you this i don't know if this is like too baby girl of me though but like plan b is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan it specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation plan b is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like doordash no id prescription or age requirement it's the number one ob-gyn recommended brand of emergency contraception and it won't impact your future fertility that's freedom to be use as directed the feeling of like maybe people won't come is still there you know what i mean like i'm panicking but like it's just like we it is such an honor i know that's a weird like i hope that doesn't sound like dramatic to say that but like it is such a privilege and honor to get to do this stuff that like it's not lost on me that like people may not show up you know what i mean so like when you know i can speak for myself here and i think i could speak for joey but like every show that we've done the day that the tickets have went on sale it's a i don't mind i scared like it is it is crazy so you guys have put us in the position to get that explore a talent and a skill and the opportunity to try to make you guys happy and laugh and and this shit is so fucking fun too and you know i i think you know we just we just really appreciate being able to do this shit and like i said we we told ourselves we weren't going to do any shows this year um but there just has been like a lot of growth and we're having a lot of internally about like we really want to see how far we can push this and see you know if we can create another show like a brand new show from scratch that is like even better than the last one so we can create an experience for people that have been to shows before that they're like holy shit that was like so much better we'd like to believe that the first round of shows in the second year of shows were very different as far as like how good we we felt about them so this one is going to be definitely like obviously the best work that we could possibly put out but again wednesday june 17th at noon eastern uh go to the basement yard.com the pre-sale code is basement get those tickets uh i would be ready for them because like i said uh you know last time like a lot of people were buying tickets immediately at that time so that is the pre-sale the general sale starts on uh friday june 19th um but again i would get to the pre-sale but we're going back on the road please god help us two appelluses you never two apple bro we're doing back to back appellus back to back ellipse back to back ellipse that's got to be sure sure that's got to be a shirt right it's the back to back ellipse the back to back ellipse the the appellus appellus it's the apple apocalypse no it's the back to back ellipse appellus back to back ellipse no not lips police it's the back of lap no appellus back to back no back to back ellipse back to back ellipse there's got to be a p i'm gonna have a heart attack oh back to back pull it back to bapolis that no it's got to be the k back to back it could be mini maybe don't put indie uh is that like a bad thing that's a whole genre of music frank oh cool um i don't know you know i'm not as chronically online indie music i don't know it's a music but like it could be like appellus just just just just do me a favor move on take your fist and ball it up hit me repeatedly in this fucking square inch of my face do the ads and then i have a question for you a legitimate question for you not compared to a fake question yeah yeah yeah well most of this show is fake questions fuck you sorry okay uh we do have ads the first one being how you doing cachava all right this is a lovely product that i was using way before they were a sponsor on this show uh but they are great they're they're uh like a protein so it provides clean nutrition to fuel uh wherever your day tastes you no fillers no nonsense no artificial flavors colors or sweeteners um but it has all of these things they have things that boost your energy digestion strength metabolism um uh immunity things like that but all the nutrition your body craves and one deliciously simple shake pack to go by the way very delicious very and i'm not saying that lightly especially the chocolate one i they would have to stop me from drinking it honestly it's amazing but one packet provides complete nutrition ready for life on the go with protein fiber vitamins minerals uh greens probiotics uh omegas electrolytes and more uh the feature uh six fan favorite flavors chocolate amazing vanilla also very good chai haven't had that one matcha haven't had that one either what's going on uh coconut acai which is good and strawberry also love that yo the chai one is bananas you like it i haven't had it it is so good i gotta try it but uh yeah right now you can go try them out take uh your daily ritual with ritual with you go to kachava.com and use the code basement for 15 off of your first order okay that is 15 of your first order the website is kachava k-a-c-h-a-v-a dot com uh and the code is basement all right let's go to kachava.com use the code basement to get 15 off your first order folks uh and we also have skims okay skims they make lovely underwear uh for boys and girls uh they just started making a men's line um not to i mean i think they like launched with just women's wear but now they have men's for those who don't know and they're very comfortable they sent us a bunch of pairs and like i said they're very comfortable it's breathable it doesn't hug you too hard um you know it doesn't like it doesn't make you a sweat sometimes you you buy a pair of underwear and it's like oh i kind of like these and then you get out the air in the world and it's like well okay i'm sweating through these things it's it's kind of gross but these are nice and breathable uh they're very comfortable there's a lot of cool colors and stuff but you can go check that out it's also a really good gift maybe for your loved one but like i said they have for men and women so you can go check them out at skims.com basement and yeah let them know that we sent you again that is skims.com basement to uh get that for you but let me know you're saying after you place your order select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that falls let them know and while you're browsing the internet while you're hot on the web go over to patreon.com the basement yard and what will you see us and what will you get more of us that's crazy that's what you want i hope and if you do great then it's there for you if not whatever this isn't for you patreon.com the basement yard is the service that we use to give you guys more of us and it's the best one of the best ways to to directly support us so go check it out there's different channels you can go check it out there's different channels and you get different things with different tiers okay that first here you get these weekly episodes seven whole days in advance okay that second tier well you get exclusive episodes every single friday so you go really only four days without seeing new new episodes by us that's kind of sick that's kind of rad so go check it out patreon.com the basement yard you guys have helped us break unbelievable amounts of records i think we are somewhere like fifth in the world in podcasts it's because of your support and we do not take it for granted so thank you go to patreon.com the basement yard check it out give it as a gift for family for friends for whomever you want to give it to and if you want to do that and save yourself a couple extra bucks while doing it do it on the web do it on a web browser if you use the smart app they're going to take some extra money for it from you okay so patreon.com slash the basement yard thank you we love you we appreciate you go check it out yes i had a question since we're hot on the tails off the tails hot on the trail off the tails since we're hot off the heels off the heels on the heels it doesn't matter wearing heels sure hot wearing heels if you could go and re-watch a video of our very first show would you you know i can't can do that how the episode exists what are you talking about no oh our first live show live show oh i was like bro it exists live show live show um would i watch it yeah i'd attempt to and hell yeah i don't know i don't think it would be like uncomfortable for you i mean all of that is uncomfortable for me it is i don't watch any of this stuff back it's uncomfortable you don't hear actors in interviews and they're like yeah i never watch any of my movies like part of me thinks that weird that's weird but then at the same time i'm like yeah i don't i get it completely i wouldn't want to watch that either because i i i have hearts i have been i see clips and i'll like i'll be like if i see a clip and i don't remember the context or what it is or what's coming next then i'll see i'll be like oh yeah um but i get the thing of like i see it i'm like who's that that's not me i don't i don't you know what i mean like that i guess imposter syndrome but i think like the first show is it would be tough because i just know how fucking nervous i was like i just know how like i wasn't fully comfortable yet with that so i was just kind of like trying really hard i just i think i i i don't want to bury us but like i just think that we were just not good at what we were trying to do the first try we were not good at what we were trying to do yet yeah and then that's why it's so exciting to do these shows because now it feels like okay we're a lot more comfortable on stage so now it feels like we could really just have fun doing it like now i'm just like looking forward to doing it also couldn't hear you during that first that first one yeah i couldn't i could it was like very difficult i think i came out the first thing i said is like oh my god you guys are so close to the stage i could pee on you i was so nervous yeah it's all right i we accepted an award and i said i was gonna piss my pants what's what's what's with us in urine i mean it's just one of the things that happens to a body it does it doesn't happen to a body it happens because through a body it happens to a body it happens because of a body because of a body true but um i see you got something there and i'm afraid because it's a box with a hot dog on it yes but it doesn't look like a hot dog's in it i have a box here that says you the wiener is that how you say that can you pronounce it one more time i think it's like oh oh the wiener it's so french oh the toilet like oh yeah you first of all all vowels so how does that work or is it like oh the wiener frank it's i can almost guarantee it's not that um you doing pronunciation um how do you spell it it's pronounced exactly like the letter the letter o o o o the wiener oh the wiener oh the wiener oh the wiener oh yeah those stupid french people this i think it's a oh but no it just said it's pronounced like well like phonetically like oh oh oh the wiener oh the wiener yeah frank wants what do you want all the wiener that's what it's that's what i heard i think you remember uh remember that like mid-2000s pink panther movie the clip of fucking steve martin like uh that booger yeah that's yeah yeah um clearly french wait what the fuck is that right so this is hot dog cologne shut the fuck up all right you gotta i mean i gathered you smelled it i think it i've i've stunk a little bit of it you stinked it did so it's for you ready oh for me i think you'd be fine i don't throw it over the camera dude that camera's like 40 000 million dollars it certainly is not yeah that was a perfect throw by that was i love the box frankie i want frankie to just like well first of all you know i'm not doing that it's got to be a cool bottle if it's not a cool bottle i'll be so pissed off if it's not a cool bottle that's not that sucks i'll tell you what it looks like dehydrated pee it does look like pee it does i've pissed that before am i gonna bomb am i gonna bomb my little you need to you need to you need to i'll do this i think you'll be surprised in a good that's up to you i think go i'm not gonna spray it on my body i mean i don't but like i'm gonna spray it in the air oh no that's worse than the mist will get on your body direct the spray at your at your at your arm no i'm gonna go in the air it's gonna get on you brother i know that's bad you're yeah you're saying put it on me yeah but like that's gonna get more on you than that if i if i limit it to there your brain is an interesting place wow what the santa claus fuck was that really why is it burnt it's a burnt oh i love burnt dogs how's it feel toss that i feel oof toss that here that was the most dangerous way because look at how it landed that could hit you right if that would hit me in the fudge that could hit you right in the teeth all right i'm gonna i'm gonna do it the way i said you should oh wow you're not supposed to rub cologne this fucking guy well how weird is that what is that it stinks like suck yo it's not off look at how he's smelling this thing it's like a smell vortex yo it smells like uh honestly it smells more like the like burnt the burnt pretzels that they have at the dog stands but old i'm not getting wiener i'm getting i'm getting more like like city street pretzel yeah burnt pretzel than am dog and dirty shoe i'm getting dirty shoe i feel like it but there's a scent of like something in there it was a little sweet wasn't it isn't that yeah it is a little sweet i think after a little bit it starts to smell like dog i feel like you doing that is completely unnecessary to the to smelling so no it doesn't smell like hot dog at all maybe you didn't put enough it's by shy nasty shy nasty shines shy nasty i have a question i have a question yeah what if it tastes like hot dog nice try yeah i'm not fucking doing that yeah double dog dare him though how about that no how about you do it double dog there yeah how about you do no to spray a little and it's good you didn't get any you didn't get any it tastes like frankie oh no you faked that i was fake it was prank i know we're old you can't prank us we're not chilling it doesn't taste like anything it tastes like my skin well i think you'd you didn't get any that's why nice fucking try so you just taste nice fucking try it does say warning to be sniffed and spritzed not sipped which is fair damn it yeah i'm glad they specified that because you know that there's someone that did that a good novelty a novelty thing does not smell more taste like a hot dog in any capacity really yeah yeah and they also fucked up by not making this hot dog shaped yeah make it a fucking glizzy shape i'm sure that costs a lot and for a novelty thing like this like they need to think of oh are you getting the stink coming over here now you're like you're gonna burst watch this oh i can smell it on its way i think it's passing you its way to you here it comes big bad frankie over there yeah jesus yeah it blows house down oh there it is you got it wow it took a little pass it doesn't smell it doesn't it doesn't smell like sweet wood it's not like bad it's just something i think you expected us to be gag boys frank really sorry i didn't mean to take out the fucking gag that was a that was a legitimate my mom watches this show that was a legitimate like mistake yeah here you can take this back i i've never i wanna i want to get one of those like have you smelled the ones that are like farts do you remember yeah yeah fart sprays i remember fart bags do you remember when the first time you came to my home it was right after i did it on an episode yeah oh you threw a fart bag one it was like three i think he threw three at once so by the time you gathered two one of them's gonna go off yeah i i mean they're they they just stink like a butt like it's just yeah that's the part that sucks i remember i did it in the studio and then i broke a mug on my fucking wall yeah that was a crazy episode first of all the studio at that time my apartment so you fart bagged my apartment but it was one room that was far enough away from like the rest of your apartment let me ask you do you know how wind works how you work but you know air how things spread via air yeah i don't think that was like a big concern it was a small room the place stunk like ash i honestly don't remember it was at the beginning of the episode as well i remember doing it yeah and i remember throwing and we like fucking like threw it back and forth and then it popped on the floor yeah those things are they smell and they pop they smell have you ever seen the glass ones glass the glass stink bombs no they come in like a little glass vial i had one in middle school and i broke it on the ground and boy that smells like a big poop of shit that is a rough one like a tough one oh it's starting to get you god damn it's like it's your breath now wow he says your breath stinks no it's because every time he breathes more air comes this way and i'm getting it oh wow i mean i don't think i have that strong of a breath if you could smell his breath from there big trouble no i'm not smelling his breath it's just the wind i think it's just the circulation it just smells like a like you're also like look that is gonna they can't see it but like that's gonna blow it right at you it smells like a corner in manhattan right it really absolutely it smells like like the corner of like 34th and 9th avenue yeah like it's just like right outside of the garden and you're getting the fucking like hot dog cart smell hot dogs i mean they don't shout at you anymore yeah well it's the people at stadiums and and arenas that shout out you ever see that one guy at like cubs games where he goes hot dogs and scares the shit out of everyone here yeah that's a guy dedicated to his job dude i fuck with that i mean that's how and especially in the like today's world that's gonna go viral but that's not gonna do anything they're not gonna like give them a boost like hey good job here's an extra couple bucks do you think that maybe those people get paid based on how many they sell no so what's the incentive to like go so hard i guess just like enjoying your job i mean yeah it's just like you might as well have fun doing it i think it doesn't look good if they sell none right i mean yeah i'm sure yeah i'm sure correct i'm sure i mean i'd just be eating those bitches then i mean if i went up a whole section and no one bought i'd be like all right i'm popping one i mean but then you need to pay for it no no shot so then they'll say you have sold none but there are three missing what happened they're not gonna count the hot dogs i it's food brother i can almost guarantee inventory i can guarantee that they will to some degree no there's breakage bro they count in everything bro i'll make up another lie then i was punched in the eye and someone stole a hot dog there's hundreds of cameras in these places this was a silent assassin but the camera is still capturing the video i had to test the fucking hot dog to make sure a lady wouldn't buy okay why three then why did i eat three yeah joe you know what this is a great i'll be the boss okay you was what why are there three missing hot dogs from your hot bag there is three missing there's three minutes you went we we we clocked you at going out there with 20 and there's 17 in here now i mean i sold all of them maybe there was like something with the transaction you sold because your transactions say you've done no transactions maybe it's something with the reader i sold all the what do you think i ate where did you sell them to the people what what section because you're working this section you're working section one which specific section yeah i was set i was i was i mean i'm in 108 109 and 110 so in there okay do you mind if we pull up the video pull up the video all right let's look at the video it shows you eating the hot dog well yeah i had a hot dog you had three no uh here's the video of you having a first hot dog yeah a minute later having the second one i'm i'm allowed to eat the hot dog not ours whose am i allowed to eat you can take it out of my okay we will be done in a minute we're going to be done in a minute we're going to be done in a minute your pay and also you're fired for eating on the job that's not yours first of all that's theft first of all that's theft one hot dog theft theft theft i'm an employee here i need to eat i'm starving i had a headache i was that's why you have a break i'm walking up and down stairs all day long i have one hot dog and now you're gonna fire me yes that is theft so this is absolutely ridiculous so what if i what if i get so hungry that i get a headache and i fall down because those things are very heavy i don't know if you've carried one of those if you have a medical condition we hope that you would have shared that with hr people just get hungry on the job i'm working hard and it's hot out there that's why you have an allotted break period where you can eat on your allotted break time the expectation is that during work time you are working not eating joey it was a long inning and they told me to go out during the inning i had to go out in the third inning twice so you cannot go an inning without eating then you're in the wrong line of work which i am doing you a favor by firing so medically you're fine you're following me because now you're my doctor no i am firing you because what you did is theft period end of story you will be docked and you will if you're gonna dock my pay it's not theft but if i dock your pay this time then the next time you will do it again and just be like dock my pay and that's setting a standard that is not good for the company culture whatever you will be fired you need to be an example whatever and guess what we're gonna murder you in front of your co-workers if this is the type of company that you're worried about one hot dog from one of your employees who ate because of a medical condition you're going to fire me because of that i don't even want to fucking work here there's millions of dollars being generated here and all of us are working really hard and we don't get paid that much i eat one hot dog and now you're gonna fire me wrong i quit fuck this club fine no severance severance you were getting severance for your hot dog theft you were being fired with cause and we would have given you severance now you idiot i don't need the job you get nothing now you get nothing now you get nothing now you get you get nothing i get another person for cheaper off the street you get nothing out of life you're worried about hot dogs it's twelve dollars you put down the p and l sheet you'll be fine my job my job requires me to care about this it's a bad job guess what i have a job guess what you have nothing and a fucking higher cholesterol for it now you have nothing because you've never you have nothing to show because you've never eaten a hot dog you think that you're gonna start some fucking movement of the masses where you stood up to the big fucking big team because you ate a hot dog you really stuck it to the man you're out of a job you are nothing you are the lowest of the low now and you're unemployed you fucking idiot you're gonna die early you'll die before me because you ate three hot dogs in a ten minute span first of all it wasn't a ten minute span it was the length of the game and i also didn't eat three hot dogs i ate one hot dog where'd the other two go i don't know logic stands to reason that if you lied initially about eating the first hot dog you're probably lying about the other two that are what does it say about this company that i have to lie about eating a hot dog i'm so scared of my superiors that i eat a hot dog and i have to lie about it because i can't even eat a hot dog if you feed us if you're trying to tackle company culture do it on your company do it do it with a lawyer on your unemployed time you're not going to do it now you're done dude and you quit so now we have no reason to give you severance who are you calling no i was recording our conversation so explain that to the fucking papers you bitch i got you and you're going down it's over you never talk to an employee like that and i don't give a fuck if you fire me because guess what fuck the thirteen dollars you're taking out of my pay for the hot dog which by the way now it's not theft i'm coming for all of it well guess what you're getting fired guess what i work and live in the state of new york i understand that you need two-party consent in order to record someone and you didn't inform me that i was being recorded so that is inadmissible in court now that's an admit call up the legal eagle you're fucking done idiot you think you played perry mason gotcha on me you don't even know i know about recording i record people all the time another admission you're fired inadmissible in court but the papers will hear about it and you will be fired the papers you think i'm real worried about the fucking new york times hearing about joe san diego got fired for eating a hot dog on the fucking job they're gonna be like what an idiot he should have just not ate the hot dog no one's gonna think that way yes they will who are you fighting for the common man yes you're a fraud you got caught red-handed red glizzy down your throat and now you want to try to be some fucking some martyr for a movement i work at this ballpark not anymore i worked at this ball this this big bowl of shit this place i did work here and i got paid minimum wage to sling hot dogs for you guys which i did i ate one hot dog and now you in a senior position are not only firing me but stepping on my head on the way out the door and which means you're stepping on the heads of all the employees who work on the same level as me and i have you on tape doing that you're done buddy guess what i'm not doing you're done if you would be honest if you have been honest from the jump this is now no longer about the theft it is about the character if you had been honest sure you care about that you know what i ate the hot dog because i was hungry we would have had a separate conversation but you you completely absolutely so it's not about absolutely it's a character thing because if you're lying and no no it is theft but if you now on top of it you're lying about eating the hot dog now it's it's like okay what else is he gonna lie i gave him you the opportunity to be honest about it and he lied to my face you're so cold look at the video look at you eating in that fucking video you're a sick man you're a sicko i'm sick you're sick you know what i am though i might be sick but i'm employed yeah not for long you jerk and see and see great job dude great to work really really nice really fun job i love what you did work i really really appreciate your passion i love your choices it felt like i was arguing with the movement i was in the ballpark and i felt like you were there i could see your suit i could just feel the plan b is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan it specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation plan b is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like doordash no id prescription or age requirement it's the number one obgyn recommended brand of emergency contraception and it won't impact your future fertility that's freedom to be use as directed i could taste the hot dog on your breath that's how real it was smell i was there i was smelling 100 yeah you actually helped us set the scene thank you so much but really a class act really enjoyed working with you thank you so much if you ever want to work together in the future no hesitation please yeah it really yes i have joe verse the state of hot dogs case closed well it's a kind of a cliffhanger we don't know what's going to happen we don't know if it actually will be held up it is actually art so it can be interpreted in any way that anyone wants to interpret it uh blade runner uh you know the ending of citizen kane the ending of this argument you don't know there's no clear answer as to what happened you ever see the end of uh inception we don't know if that thing's gonna topple over or not it's kind of the same deal here christopher nolan uh uh uh uh stanley kubrick joe and frank from the basement exactly what are you gonna do um someone better hire us after that after that you know um we are really good at what improv i like just being involves yelling at each other forget about it yeah also i have more ads yeah yeah you should probably get to that i actually have three more here um three three packed episode yeah um listen whoa i don't know what sound i just made to be honest with you but it's totally okay but listen uh this podcast is sponsored by better help better help is online therapy if you want to talk to a therapist which i think that you should even if you have nothing dramatic going on in your life you're going to have to talk to a therapist you're going to have to talk to a therapist which i think that you should even if you have nothing dramatic going on in your life i believe that is helpful going on in your life i believe that is helpful going on in your life i believe that is helpful in a myriad of ways okay so uh definitely in a myriad of ways okay so uh definitely in a myriad of ways okay so uh definitely seek the help that you need um and you can seek the help that you need um and you can seek the help that you need um and you can do so with better help they can get do so with better help they can get do so with better help they can get you connected with the therapist in just you connected with the therapist in just you connected with the therapist in just under 48 hours and make it very easy to under 48 hours and make it very easy to under 48 hours and make it very easy to 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access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss ed weight loss and more visit hymns.com basement that is hymns.com basement for your free online visit feature products include compounded drugs products which the fda does not approve or verify for safety effectiveness or quality prescription requires the website for full details restrictions and important safety information individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil and finasteride boom love that love that for us honestly yeah love that for us um what was the thing with the cruise line you said you brought that up i saw something that a cruise line i believe in europe is starting to find people that bring food from the like from the cruise back to their rooms have you been on a cruise are you in the cruise cruise i'm thinking i'm thinking tom cruise i've never been on a cruise not my thing i don't like being trapped you seem like you're a big cruise guy like a disney cruise oh you would you he's like no i would hate a cruise you put mickey mouse on that he's gooning for cruising yeah he's going in for cruising have you been on a cruise just once that's where my dad won mr sexy legs famously mr sexy legs yes we've talked about this wow i i your dad's a good looking guy i've never seen his life i don't know if i've seen his legs to confirm yes to hide his legs because they're so sexy exactly he's got it he's got sexy legs for real apparently he's got a big cat can you can you pull up your dad's legs not sure how i would does he have a picture of your dad in shorts he's got ankles like nice ones no i love it what makes a leg sexy um and obviously talking about male legs because oh we're talking about mail well you're his mr sexy legs right my father i think like a tanned muscular leg your dad's not tan well it was dead of winter when you saw him but he gets tan yeah he's italian not all italians get tan i mean is he full italian yeah they get tanned he could he could he could all depends on where they're from in italy how many tans with the best of them he's out there he can olive it up yeah uh i guess what but like what like so you were on the cruise you saw him win mr sexy i did indeed how old were you oh man i might have been like seven oh wow so you know you know nothing about it i didn't know what was going on i just know he got a ribbon does he still have it there's no way did he give him like a margarita or something no what did he yeah what did he win for being mr sexy he got he got like a uh uh just a sash sash just a sash oh that's kind of but it was in view of the whole cruise would you honestly from what you know about your father would you say his legs are sexy he's the reigning champ i mean i mean when you were seven brother this was 15 years ago i don't know how old you are probably he might be out of his sexy legs prime you ever walk around your dad and be like damn he's got some good good legs on him yeah probably that's fire i i just don't know what are your dad's legs yeah we're comparing dad legs my dad well he he got his knees replaced both yeah good my dad walked around like a like so i made this joke before it looks like someone took a bat put it in between his legs and just went like that bro now his knees look like dog i don't really know your dad's knees because i feel like when i when he does wear shorts they're below the knee so i don't really see that my yeah i feel like that generation it was like my dad doesn't wear capris he just wears long shorts yeah yeah yeah and then i feel like i've only seen your dad in sandals like literally everywhere he's either wearing sandals or pumas nothing in between he had like at one point like five pairs of pumas like those like pumas that like ralph we used to wear you know which one italian dude the like ones that like they are meant for athletes but my dad is not like very late famously in 50 years very i'm very make i want to make sure i make that very clear did your dad play sports yeah he said he was uh soccer and uh he was big into handball handball yeah like a handball like i know what handball is i don't know i just want to make sure not everyone knows that it would be handball well it's like a very new york city hispanic kid thing to play yeah which he probably could have went pro but in handball he was playing handball every day for like 10 hours what is professional handball it's a thing is it yeah there's like pro leagues of handball yeah bro our high school was mad good at handball my bad good bad good you guys had white preppy kids are we had it was strictly asian no there was one there was one there was one our star white was heavily asian and they were nasty bro my high school it was like the hispanics they were good they were i think they were like the city champs bro these asian kids would have whooped their ass nah no shot bro they were like back to back to back champs your your saint francis prep they were handball team wouldn't even sniff a candle i guarantee against any one of the like bro hispanics of puerto ricans that lived in the ravenswood projects at bryant high school sorry dude you guys might have had fucking us beating everything else no definitely not handball bro i'm telling you these asian kids were savages at handball i i know they're not beating because they're like they're playing like they're not beating like inner city public park handball kids i don't know bro they were good they might have been good they're not they're not i would love to go back in time and really put you take your your best player put it up against a brian high school puerto rican those are your dad's legs at the time i think honestly this is at the time he won it these are my dad's i gotta be honest dude man those are your dad's legs those are some fucking like your dad's legs are like pierce brosnan's yeah i'm not even kidding i was thinking james bond yeah yeah dude your dad's got fucking legs mr sexy legs right there damn what beach is this it's a great question i have no idea that is a nice beach also the water looks gorgeous yeah those are really good see and those are tan legs those are tan legs also you know there's a big pair of balls right up to the top oh my god yeah you know this guy talks about his giant balls i know the yellow pain by the time he walked back from the water yeah he's getting out the water and he's just crazy he's gonna hate i did this he's gonna hate it well they're not seeing his face so i know no one's gonna be able to put his alleged leg alleged legs they're not gonna be able to put a name to the legs yeah a face to the legs those yeah that's mr sexy legs wow but yeah i'm not a crew i don't know if i'm a cruise guy i open i've been very public in my disdain for the open ocean yeah it's not great also if i'm on a cruise and you're telling me i can't go back to my room with food the fuck are you gonna do yeah dude like what are you gonna do realistically i also imagine it's like no you also have to i've never been on a cruise i imagine it's not the greatest quality food so like you're gonna be like you're not taking this food back to your room like you should be fucking thankful that i'm taking this dog shit burger i think that cruises probably go out of their way to make sure the food's good i mean i'm sure at a certain level but like the restaurants like at a certain because there are obviously tiers wait there's no room service on a cruise i thought it's like a hotel oh that's a good question i can't bring food into my fucking i know i think they're saying like if you take it from the restaurant or the buffet or something and bring it back i guess because it's all inclusive there are different tiers to like wait all inclusive you can't get room service i don't oh that would drive me do me a favor i mean look it up right now look up all inclusive cruises and see what it includes if if it specifies that there's no room service i'm gonna be angry those are two different searches yeah just ask if cruises have room service if it's all inclusive everything better be included it's in the name all inclusive uh shoot me with a gun uh what does it say he's panicking right now he's panicking right now i saw a video recently of someone taking like a bucket of something and dumping it over a cruise ship and you just see what's around and it's like terrifying dude what does that what does that mean bucket of what food chum oh i don't know bro that could have meant anything i don't know what you're talking about what do you think i'm talking about they're dumping a bucket of like human hair no i just didn't know what you meant but they were dumping stuff to like attract animals just so i showed you like what fucking god after it yeah dude that's terrifying it says there's room service but not not all items could be free even in the all-inclusive it depends per cruise line i think it's just more how you get charged extra if you have meat even on like the korean like barbecue spots sometimes you know you have when you have meat at the korean barbecue spot you get charged like you get charged extra if you if you order more meat and but you didn't eat it because it's like oh i see what you're saying face style i think it's just kind of like brother if i'm going to an all-inclusive and i get charged for anything extra i'm getting it burning that place to the ground yeah are you uh like when you go to hotels do you take stuff take what you take stuff i take what take what like soaps it depends like so when we were doing our our last two rounds of shows when we would go from like a hotel to an airbnb i would take soap because sometimes they're not well stocked and if it was like a or if we were going from a hotel to another hotel because hotels that give you a lot of money they're not they give you this much body walks huh body walk body walk come on um but like it depends like when we went to the in toronto the nobu they left like a thing of chocolate i took that to bring it home you know like i take i take little trinkets to memorialize ass i don't know if i've ever actually eaten it i've i've i've eaten it sometimes it's like oh that place in particular gave me a a fucking edible zen garden i bro that was actually delicious i was eating sand and raking it at the same time so when i went back for the world series for a day the zen garden was there because they they have they oh because greg was like talking to that hotel via email it was like a new hotel at the time so that person hit up greg and was like we saw joe's video because i talked about the zen garden i thought it was a legit zen garden and then i found out in the video and i was eating oh they told me because like it came with a card that said what it was you don't read you just just like i'm not even kidding it might have taken me seven seconds to figure it out the issue that i have with reading is if there's a picture i'm just gonna go off of that and it looked like a rake it yeah like they gave me a rake so what am i to believe what was it it was it was like boys i mean like it was like graham cracker crumbs it was like graham cracker crumbs and like there was like a like a thing of like you know like a cream it was like a cream cheese but like a creme fraiche almost and like interesting and the rocks looked like real rocks but they were chocolate yeah did it not look any form of edible bro it looked mad real it looked very real i think i could find a picture of it so they give you and they give you a little rake and i tried to rake it and then i was like this isn't rakeable because i thought it was just gonna be sand so then i was like oh it's edible then i started reading i was like oh shit is edible and then i started eating it because because there was a spoon now that i think about it and i just kind of ignored that i was like that's weird maybe they want me to dig a hole in this someone left a spoon i thought it was because the whole place is like very um it's like wood and it's like no i thought it was just kind of like a i don't know some like over the top luxurious little thing and i was like it's kind of ridiculous that i'm gonna sit here and like play in the sand but it was edible and it was mad good trying to airdrop it to you but it's just waiting just slack why didn't you oh my god but it was good um but yeah whenever i go to a hotel and they like leave a bit of chocolate on like your nightstand or your pillow that chocolate is usually ass also chocolate on planes disgusting when i was in switzerland though that was good chocolate that chocolate was good that was good this is taking too long the payoff is not actually it's not gonna be honestly i think you've ruined it i the swiss chocolate was good though dude the swiss know what they're doing with their chocolate oh yeah and uh no not great swiss cheese isn't my favorite i can't remember the last time i had swiss cheese yeah i had i told you this i told you i had a good recently that just completely like it was like aged i still got some home off a piece what are you gonna do about it me nothing damn right you're not why am i being threatened yeah if i was on a cruise and they said they were taking extra money because i took food back to my room i am now that i think about it if if i'm somewhere on a ship and i'm getting food and i take that back to my room what am i doing i mean like why what am i gonna bring my plate up there i mean sometimes people will they'll eat the food like they'll put it in their little fridge and like save it for later but would you do that brother that's a fucking look at that i know it doesn't not look tasty bro it was tasty it was really good it was like so like it's like that crumble and then underneath it was like a cream cheese almost and that little sign where it says nobu hotel that's edible wow that's crazy i know you know what they're doing look at that we're really giving a promo shot if we do if we do more a little bit sorry my bad more toronto shows we gotta stay there uh well i mean if they hear this that'd be great a little discount yeah because some of the people that stayed there with us oh yeah the room service there it is a very nice hotel though um but what are we talking about remember that bath deep fucker dude it was like a wooden box yeah i was slight my ass slit it took like an hour for the water to fill up it was like not that is not in the quality of the spout or the water flow just how big it was a big fucking tub you ever been in those rooms where there's a hot tub kind of just in the middle of it when we were in like a like a honeymoon suite at a motel not really but like sorta the the the what's it called the hotel we stayed at when we did the vegas show it had oh yeah it had like so like the bed was here it was like the tv and then it was like a half wall and behind it was a tub yeah and but like it wasn't a tub it was like a square square but it went down like far it was like four and a half feet deep it was it was very it was very horny setup it was weird it was a very horny setup like literally like you're facing the wall and there's a section that's just open and you can see like part of the tub so it's like you know someone could take a bath and you're watching tv and you're watching someone put soap on their boobs yeah it was lovely it's vegas you two seem like the type that you would get caught in a situation where well the only upgrade is the honeymoon suite has that ever happened to me no that happens in like movies in the 80s that's what i'm saying all we have left is the honeymoon yeah you get there and the whole bed's a heart shape yeah and like you look up and it's the the heart-shaped mirror i honestly think that uh if i were to walk into a hotel room and it was like a honeymoon suite i'd like this place is covered in juice like i would yes i wouldn't want to live there 100 yes when you really think about hotel rooms that's why i don't you don't think about it i don't think about it but it's like anywhere that's not your place yeah that's why i don't think about it it's kind of we've been to airbnbs and and like there was one time i was just like oh this is someone's bed something happened when i when i was in london recently uh i can't get the stink out of my fucking it smells like burnt hot dog it's crazy but when i was in london recently the the room that i was staying in there was like pictures all over the wall and it was like this girl who looked like she was 18 years old and i'm like am i laying in this girl's bed like this is weird yeah like i'm in her bedroom oh an airbnb it was an airbnb yeah but that happened they looked american like i think they were american and they had having a place in london and you're american flex people got money flex but i was like this is so weird i'm in someone's bed you'll have it soon enough a place in london you're a big enough arsenal fan that you'll have a place in london oh you'll have a flat i got a flat flat and then you'll be like oh well now i have to go at least three four times a year to justify it oh whoops i really liked it i could see it i could see joey having a place like that i might fuck it i won't i definitely won't why not why not let's do it together let's go have these on it we split it has these two i could there's no there's no there's no there is no word for three people it's have these or three z's no there i'll go three z's i'll go two and a half z's he's gonna take he's gonna take mr sexy legs his money that's what he's gonna do that's what he's gonna it wasn't a it wasn't a cash prize he just said you're gonna take your dad's money because you're broke that was crazy i didn't say that i was just you heard that right first of all i didn't say that second of all don't fucking point at me all right so now it's just now it's just half z's he's out wow yeah do it do it do it and see what happens what's gonna happen i won't show up to a single one of these live shows that we're doing and which show maybe i won't show up to the september 2010 september 10th durham north carolina maybe i won't show up to the september 12th charlotte north carolina or maybe the september 24th minneapolis minnesota or the september 26th indianapolis indiana what about the october 2nd show in uh in fucking uh charleston south carolina i don't know what other one is next to that um october 3rd i think is atlanta that's so tough but i'm really feeling like i'm in like a spiritual mood so how about maybe i don't show up to the october 16th in bethlehem pennsylvania well you can't miss november 7th in buffalo what about that one oh i don't know i think at that time i might be down south a couple weeks later at balt the december 5th in baltimore maryland all right but then you're gonna it's gonna be cold down there at that time maybe you want to heat it up a little bit and go to uh austin texas on december 10th that's a good idea but on the drive maybe we could also hit another bucky's or two more bucky's on the way to houston on december 13th that's not a bad idea but you know what that's a lot of traveling i don't want to do all that i'd rather just do january 15th newark new jersey well if you want to get real close to your house then maybe we can go to february 5th we go to red bank new jersey not a bad idea but you know what i am feeling a little like uh outdoorsy yeah so like february 23rd and 24th in vancouver british columbia canada c baby be cool the day after my birthday though we're gonna have to go somewhere nice and warm february 26th maybe we go to la yeah that's not a bad idea but you know what that's all fun but what's been really kind to us has been chicago illinois on march 12th yeah yeah chicago chicago theater and if you guys want to come you guys can just go to the basement yard.com on wednesday june 17th at 12 p.m noon eastern but the pre-sale code is basement i was just so worried that i was going there was no pre-sale code but there isn't it's basement it's basement it is basement okay so wednesday june 17th at noon you know what i'm afraid that it's just going to be the same old show it's not the same old show frank actually it's going to be a brand new show and a lot more fun brand new show yeah wow yeah yeah yeah yeah the new work one is my birthday show i'm what i'm january 16th that's january 15th oh no one cares no that would be fun wow no birthday show for for one of us nerd you already had two birthdays oh wait no you did yeah you did you had one i was saying happy birthday to you at the vancouver show the second year i wasn't there did we yeah you don't remember it was a picture of you turning 40 it was like you with a cane and you were an old bastard got it i remember that now yeah well well there you have it folks but yeah we're going back on tour we're going back on tour we're going back on tour we're going back on tour we're going back on tour but like i said wednesday june 17th noon eastern thebasemir.com so fucking awesome thank you guys so much for always being supportive through patreon through watching this show and you know hopefully we'll see you out there at our our live shows we're really excited to put on a good show for you guys so thank you so much frank yeah where can they find you f alvarez no i'm gonna say my email the frank alvarez on social media what about you and do aunt prisco on instagram and you guys can follow me at joe sanagato and go follow the show at the basement yard on all forms of social media and that is all see you out there on tour