Welcome back to the basement yard. Hi. Hello everyone. You're all buttoned up today. Yeah. Um, it's because I'm wearing an undershirt under here, but it hasn't logo on it. Oh, I say so I don't want to show the logo. Okay. I thought it's like someone I don't like, but like Now it feels like you have to show I know, no, but now I you know what I mean? Like I got to prove that it's not an offensive one. Well, no, it's not. What could it be? I don't know. Like a swastika or something. I mean, whoa, dude. Dropped it off of the hard swats us kickoff. Yeah. Yeah. Well, now you got a shot. Yeah. Now I have like it. Yeah. It's very clearly not it's compensated. Very the full. Okay. Oh, the furthest thing from what? One of them. Yeah. Now that we know who it was, I don't know if they wanted that close. Yeah. Nobody wins right. Yeah. No, no. We doubly lose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. We can just take that again from the top. Hey, welcome. Oh, wow. You got a lot. That's not what I'll let you know whatever. Um, you got some new hardware over there. I got some bling. Look at that. Look at this. Ant ran his first half marathon. It's real. By the way, is it your first half? Hey, there we go. Is it? Is it your is it your first half marathon? Or was it your only half? Got it. Got it. You know what I'm saying? Like that. That's an aggressive question off the fucking off rip. Well, I don't know how he's feeling. Well, start with that question then. How about that? Sorry. Sorry. You're right. You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You guys were accusing me of wearing fucking propaganda on my shirt. Whoa. No, we were making sure that no one was coming to that conclusion. Now it's propaganda. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. Um, but anyway, right. Sorry. We're in the marathon. Marathon. Half marathon. Yeah. The Brooklyn half marathon. Yeah, you did it. And you just let's get this out the way. Yes, sir. Awesome. Congratulations. Oh, thank you. That is really, really cool. Thank you. Just decided you wanted to do it and just did it. It was it was something. It was something to do. A lot of people. A lot of people did you just see like this is what people say, like hard working should be Gen Z. Are you listening? He just decided he wanted to do something and pulled himself up by his bootstraps and did it. Yeah, he came out to see me. At least he did. And, um, that's fucking, wow, fucking bananas. Now, now I need to be on the attack. Yeah. Yeah. Is that how you attack? One more time. Just give me an attack. Very good. I mean, yeah, well, how should I attack? And to tell me, fucking boxer Joe, definitely not like this. That's all I know. I know that's incorrect. No, I'm playing. I'm playing. It was nice. How are your legs feeling? They hurt today. The right my right foot is not working. That's better. It's just like not working. Yeah, I'm driving. I'm driving. I'm limping a little bit. Okay. What shoes did you wear? Do they do like a thing where like you can like run and like silly shoes? Has anyone done like a marathon and like high heels? Bro, when I ran the marathon, there was people barefoot. Well, that's not cool shoes. That's just no shoes. But you can wear whatever you want. Someone I know someone ran a marathon in snow boots. I mean, ski boots. That is insane. I must be on thighs. The whole the whole legs. Did you see the guy running the London marathon with a fridge on his back? Yes, I did see that. Wait, why? It was symbolic of something. Oh, I don't know if there was symbols. I don't know. I think it was symbolic of something. I did see that. But like, yeah, I mean, you're you're asking for an injury at that point. I mean, yeah, all power to you. I mean, just someone argue that doing the marathon in and of itself is asking for an injury. Kind of, yeah. Yeah, I couldn't walk last night. I was just on the couch. I was just sinking into it. I was fine until mile like nine and 10. And that's when I felt like my legs were going to explode. Did you take a bath after? I did. I took an ice bath. Actually, did you do some Epson salt in that bitch? It was a very crude ice bath. I don't even know you supposed to put salt in it. I mean, Epson salt. You know what? Epson salt is. What? Is that the stuff you put on the street? Uh, no, why would you take a bath of stuff that melts snow? Wait, Epson salt might melt snow too. I don't know. If it does, I don't know. But I don't think like when you get like ice melt, it's not Epson salt. I don't think. I mean, you know what? I have no knowledge of salt. And I have nowhere to go from here. Right. But you've never heard of like when you're taking a bath and you're trying to recover, there's some like some salts that you could put in there. So it like helps. No, I just don't know what it does. It just makes me smell like lavender. And I like that. Oh, yeah, we have a eucalyptus one. I like that too. Eucalyptus is cool, but like it's so much. I love it. Sometimes it's too intense for me. We got a sensitive nostrils. We one time got like actual eucalyptus. And like they say like if you just like put it in your shower, it like it's like there's like health benefits to like all that shit. I can't I can't keep up with oils and health and plants and shit. There's a lot going on. There's so much fucking going on about it. Yeah. People are just like, Oh, oils and crystals and shit like that. Let me just fucking breathe oxygen and live that and ingest my microplastics. That's everything. I don't care. Of course, there's microplastics. Of course, there's forever chemicals. Yeah, what am I going to fucking do if I have the forever chemicals in me, which we do we're locked in forever, which like it's not an if we do. Yeah. Does anybody want to raise their hand if they want some sort of metal for running a marathon of any kind. Don't fucking do this. Both of you. I have about this. How would you raise our hands for fucking raising three children. Neither you put your hands down, bitches. Well, that's not what we're saying. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, that's you just thrown into my face that I haven't run a marathon or half of one. I said type of marriage. Way to go. You did half of an actual I said type. I said type. I said type. That's crazy. I'll tell you what, after running the half, it made me think that while doing double this and running a full marathon feels impossible. So the fact that he did it is incredible. I can't I would never be able to it's mental. I also had not run. I practiced. I trained horribly for the marathon. And I ran two halves before, but never ran further than this fucking guy. Mr. Like, oh, man, I like didn't train right before I finished the full fucking marathon. I didn't train enough. So I only could have been better at it. That is true. I couldn't have been much worse. But you finish. You just that is and that like in all the conversations we've had about this, because jokes aside, that is to both of you, one of you more legitimately impressed. One of us double. One of us, like, what you did was impressive. Yeah, times two of that. That's very impressive. Don't you? It's the mental. It's the entirety of it is the mental aspect for me. I just can't do something that continuous and not get bored and wanting. What if we believe you? Bully with your wallet. Then we're talking bully with your wallets. Then we're talking. Then we can at least have a discussion. Well, what what if or make a deal? Don't you don't you want to just shut us up? Yeah, I mean, I think my pure existence to some degree, you shuts you guys up. What is that name? I don't know, but I think that, you know, me being an upstanding member of this office, a contributing factor, despite what aunt says to this podcast. And doing it while also being a model husband and father, I think that that does pretty well for me. Now, I do have a question about that last sentence when you said model husband. Was there a comma between those two things? Or is it model husband or model husband and something else? You mean, I will leave it. Technically, you are a model. Technically, we are models. We have done modeling. You're a model. We are models. Don't just throw it at me. Well, we're talking about you right now. Thank you so much. You're a model. Say it more. I tried it and you stopped me. All right, keep doing it again. You're a model. Thank you. Well, so now he has the model and the metals and not really one up. I'd be a metal model. I can't keep up. Yeah, it's not too much. No, no, no, we all ran a half marathon together. I just, I'm not kidding. Here's the where I am mentally two day. Yeah. Two, five, case. What? Like, what does that mean? I could see myself doing two, five, case. Yeah. I don't think I could do, which is what a quarter marathon. It's three. Do they do quarter marathons or third marathons? It's a 5K or a 10K. So it's either 3.1 or 6.2. I could do a 10 for 6.1. I don't know. I could do a 10K. A 10K would be a quarter-ish. A little less than quarter of a marathon. Yeah. I just I like I said I am. I Know what's going to happen to my ego now that someone else here has done it. He's gonna. He's wearing it too. And he's rubbing it in too, which I don't like. It's the day after. Give me a day. Oh Yeah, it was yesterday as a recording as a recording yesterday. I just I I don't know if that's a question I need answered right now I did tell you guys full transparency tomorrow. I'm gonna go to the gym and just see what happens when I get on the treadmill But I'm just what if something good happens? We need to define what would be good. I mean it would be good. So help me so I haven't run I haven't run in three weeks Yeah, so what would you guys say I'll let you set the standard for what you think?
good is which I can then adjust my mental capacity after based on what you've said already. You said that you've gotten on the treadmill and you've run for like 25 minutes straight. That is all you need. That is a giant starting point. The best like the longest I have run was 30 minutes straight. That's hard to do at 5.5 miles per hour. I mean that's hard to do. So if I do that tomorrow, yeah. You think that is a good jumping off point. Of course. You're essentially crushing 5Ks already. You're like right there. That's what that would be. That's only 3.1 miles. I just want to make it very clear. I can't commit to anything. Running wise. Running wise. But it's 5. Let's make that clear. Yeah, period. Running wise until I start seeing like a. Well. What does that really matter? It would results training in the one who cares. It's also 6 months away. I am just saying like, I need to like, you guys are going to bully me into doing it. I'll sign you up. I know what you're doing. You're going to bully me into running. I'll go with you. I need to bully you into making it fiscally more, well, how enchanting for me. Enchanting. Enchanting. Okay. Prince Charming. Go fund me. I think we could do this. Go fund me that get to $200,000 and then Frank will run a 5K. $200K for a 5K. Yeah. How about this? Good for you. 50 for every K. What happened? What would you do or how would you feel if because you signed up for October, right? I didn't sign up for anything yet just in case we did do something. Does that make sense? Yeah, but we would do that. Oh, so yeah, sure. What if we both ran and then you didn't run it and you were just kind of left out. Now we got two medals. I mean, are we metal chasing now because then we're not metal. The reality is then I would do it and with you two and then you'd have two medals, you'd have two medals and I'd be at one, but then you but but you could beat him. You could beat us both. Let me be very clear. If I'm running something with him, I'm beating him. Well, that's what I mean. That's what you're not. You're not beating me. See? Well, now's what he's doing. He knows what he's doing. It's a competition now. I was running to finish. But now you're trying to beat me. You did it hard to beat me. I mean, you know right now, if we did a 5K, 5K, I am fucking dusting you. Whoa. I'm letting you know. That's my ego. See? You're dead. Are you guys happy now? There we go. I don't think there's medals. Now you're getting the real American athlete out of me. There are medals and 5Ks. I've got one more. Oh, there's medals and 5Ks. You're getting it. Oh, so you have multiple medals. Yeah. Yeah. God, I'll never catch up to him. It's about just doing it. When you cross it finish line, you're going to feel so good about it. It's about the medals, baby. Why do something? It is about the medals. If there is not a tangible thing to be given to you to say, good job doing it. Well, that's my only rule when it comes to races. If there's not a medal, I'm not doing it. That's how it points in the medal. Only reason that I did Radio City and MSG is because they gave us a cool little ticket. We didn't know that we were going to get that, but that was-- I don't know about you. I knew I was getting that. Oh, really? No, I didn't know. Yeah, no. I'm going to pull out a real fucking American athlete out of me now. That's what you want. You want to Americanize me? Like some fucking old-timey football player or something? Born here. Whole life. Our American. But like, I just-- I know, guys. I think it's clear that you-- I mean, we just figured out we did some math back there. We did math. You've run close to 50 miles already this year. And I've taken a couple weeks off. And have you enjoyed that? No. But do you enjoy being able to say that I've traveled that far on foot? I like looking at numbers and saying, like, that's a number, you know? What? No, I don't know. I don't know what that means. I like looking at numbers and being like, correct. But it's just cool. Like, you texted us yesterday, like, I just ran my 100th mile. Yeah. And like, looking back and putting a number to something like that is cool to me. Yeah. So that's why I did that. And I was just like, wow, I've ran 50 miles. So far this year. You would be surprised how much of what you're describing is the reason behind me running. I just like to know that I've traveled that far. I don't care about traveling that far. I don't think of anything like that. Wow, I could try. I could have ran enough to go from here to fucking, you know, great neck. No, no, I'm not thinking about that. I'm thinking about, like, wow, cool, 100 miles, like, that's wild. That is a crazy number. I don't know. But I think that you would finish a half marathon and be like, holy shit, I actually did it. I'm sure I would. I know myself. When I dive in, I'm fucking in. You know what I mean? Like, smokey. When I, I'm letting you know, I'm like jokes aside. In a what? In a 5K, I'm fucking dusting. I'm talking, I'm at half marathons. I'm past 5Ks, dude. Whoa. That's crazy. But also true. But we should do a 5K. All right. I don't know. I'm not committing to anything yet. I just need to make that abundantly clear. Because I'm a little baby boy, too. What does that mean? This is me. What does that mean? You just, you want to bully me into being a version of a, this is virgin. This is. You're going to bully me into being a virgin. You want to bully me into being some, like, athletic version of myself. And I don't like it. What did I have for lunch today? I don't know. A chicken parm sandwich. That's what you get with Frank. It looked real good. It actually was, like, seriously good, yeah. Like, I was kind of impressed. Wow. I just didn't expect that. Side note. You want me to be, like, an athletic version of myself. When, like, I'm BLT's Megazords and fucking Miller lights, baby. I'm not asking you to see me. You want me to be fucking Peyton Manning, fucking fucking Doug Wycoff or some shit like that. Doug Wycoff. Wycoff on these nuts when you could swallow 'em. Oh, got him! Got him! Got him! Got him! Got him! No! Wycoff on these nuts when you can swallow them? That is insane. I never heard that one. That was really good. No, yeah, you got him. Where is he giving you? You already hit him with it. You want to hit him? No, I got to do a proper one. All right, hit him with it. Got him. You got me. Wycoff on these nuts when you could swallow it. And I didn't stumble through it. No, I waited. I sat back. I sat fastball and I fucking swung away. Well, there is consequences to things like that. And it's me filling out your information. Yeah. I mean, maybe. You're going to get something in the mail. I can house. That would be a bib with a number on it. And now you're going to be the guy that signed up and didn't do it, crazy. No, listen. This is what he did when we were playing fucking Mario Kart. Yeah. Just like, it's not that I'm good. You're just bad. He's playing mind games with me. You'll probably. I mean, yeah. What will happen if he commits to doing a 5K and he smokes you? He probably could. I feel like I'm more enduring. So what happens though? What is it? Well, when is the 5K? Like, it's all important. Well, there's 5Ks all the time. If it's tomorrow, yeah, you probably go. No, no, no. I do think. And I'm not. Because I'm actually just not a runner. It's like teaching a fish how to climb a tree. Neither am I. I've forced my way into this. But you have forced your way into becoming a runner. And now you are one. But you saying I'm not a runner is like, this admission of like, I just can't do it. Like, you can. No, but like, there's a level of like natural ability you need to have to kind of make the insertion into that lifestyle easier insertion like, like, like, for instance, are you a gymnast? No. Could you be a gymnast? Sure. Yeah, that's everything. But it would be a more enjoyable experience if you had more natural ability to that would be better suited for being a gymnast. How am I going to get natural ability to get on the pummel horse? That's what I'm saying though. People have that. Whether it be flexibility or speed or dexterity or I mean, you're in for a half an hour straight. That's not nothing. I will tell you every second of that was miserable. I know. Every second. Every second. It's terrible. I hate it. But I love finishing it. You all you care about it's finishing? I care about the road toward finishing. I feel like you're trying to, I'm trying to do it. Equate this to love. I just, I don't know. I mean, maybe we'll talk, we'll talk candidly amongst ourselves. I mean, committing to like a 5K in June is not crazy. I think if I were to wake up tomorrow, I could do a 5K. Yeah, you absolutely could. It's not like you can't finish a 5K. I mean, I could walk it, but I'm saying like I could do it nonstop running. Yeah. But I just don't want you. Like that's my thing, guys. The noises coming out of you. What would you rather do? Close your eyes real quick. Both of you. Close your eyes. I'm serious. Close your eyes. I'm not going to do anything. I'm going to fall for this too. No. Close it on nuts already. It's not going to go from here. It's not a joke. Yep. Saturday morning, June 23rd, okay. You wake up. You have a hot dog or you go run a fucking marathon. Oh, by the way, it's close my eyes. What was the point of that? I'd rather have a hot dog. It's 85 degrees and sunny out, but I'm not saying run a summer marathon. That's hard.
I said June, I said a 5K. I'm okay, a 5K. Think about this. You run a 5K in the morning in the summer, right? And you're all sweaty and whatever. Then you have a crisp fucking light beer and a hot dog after. - That's honestly probably the closest thing that'll get me to do it. - I'm saying that that nothing feels better than that. - I just fucking hate it. - What do you guys don't get? I mean, so do I. - You don't have to do it, obviously. - I know. - But you do. - I mean, I know that too. - No, no, no. - I also figure, I just gotta got 'em on you. I pretty good got 'em too. So like I'm riding high right now. - You are? - So if there's a chance it convinced me, it's right now. - Is there a need for convincing when I just have all your info already? It's like I could just sign you up. And then if you lose to him in the race, who's to say? - I mean, oh. - I will flat out say that if it's gonna come out, I'm letting you know right now. One of you guys is gonna end up in the 10th. I will pass out and fucking need an oxygen tank before I lose a race to you. - I think you would win the 5K. - I don't need that. - I think you have time. - And you just ran ahead. - You also have, this is like, you know, you just, you just fucking won MVP. This is like next, if I beat you, that's like you coming out the next year and hitting 200. - Yeah. - It's true. - I think. - So if anyone here has something to prove, it's you. - Yeah, all the pressures on you now. - Oh, I promise. - So there is pressure, so it is happening. I didn't say that. - Okay, I didn't say that, I didn't say that. - Don't worry, I think you will win it. - See, the hesitation, what is he saying here? - I can run it in work shoes, like dress shoes and I can beat you. - Work shoes. - Yeah, I don't worry. - I've gotta get dressed up for work shoes. Like, fucking like loafers? - Like loafers, yeah. - Please don't. I think I would just take it more serious than you would. And you would win now? - I mean, no. (laughing) - I don't get that. - What do you mean you'd take it more serious than me? - If I train harder? - Absolutely, but I think you'd win. - I don't know. I think that I think, I do believe that a Frank committed and being like, okay, we're gonna do it, that he would train harder than you. - Let me make something abundantly clear. If I commit to anything, I'm confident I could do it well. I live life by very strict set of guidelines. And if I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it well. - Yeah, we got that New Year's episode. - I'm just saying, like, you guys think it's a joke. - It is not. I don't think, I remember someone in college, I got into an argument with someone in college because hindsight looking back on it, it was probably tone deaf that I said it, but I don't give a fuck. - Ooh. - They said like, here we go. - Oh man, everyone that takes organic chemistry fails. And I was like, oh, I probably wouldn't. And they're like, well, it's hard. I was like, yeah, I get that. But like, I just, I'm confident in my skills. - Right. - Same situation here. - How was that tone deaf? - Because it got to a point where I was just like, I'm not saying you're dumb. I'm just saying I'm smarter, you know? (laughing) - I'm not you, I'm better. - Did you say to you? - Did you take the class? - No. (laughing) - Yeah. - Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. - But you know what I'm saying? It's judging on how much you trained. - I think that he will train harder than you. - Yeah, but it's like, sure. - There's also a whole other part of this that I'm not even referencing. - Yeah. - I'm worried about my tummy. - What about it? - You know how, oh, there's, it's lined with parts. - If I stop, I'm not starting. - You're fine. - It's a half an hour. - June. - It's 40 minutes of your life. - June, what, will you late June? - Where? - No, I have to look at the schedule. - First of all. - All right, I'm in. (laughing) - I never committed. It's a 5K. - So now you're forfeiting. I went automatically. First of all, I hold the fucking power here, bitch. Okay, you can mark that in your little fucking notebook. You have no more paper left 'cause you're unprepared. Just like you were for your half marathon that you did finish. (laughing) - Actually, I have the backside of all the sheets. It's like double, it's whole thing. - I would just need to be a really sick metal. Honestly, that is very important. And it's in it. And I, I tried to know what the metal's gonna look like before I get there. - How about the loser gives the winner their metal? - One of these. - Yeah. - Whew. - Oh, like, like, he's got a coronation. - Yeah, yeah, you stand above him on a bench and then he has to, and you bend down and he, - Well, no, I'm supposed, like, the winner's supposed to be on the bench. - Yeah, that's what I said. - Oh, I thought you meant like the loser. - No, and he's like on the ground and he's got to like put it on you. - Or you have to kiss my feet. - Okay, now we're getting into crazy fetish stuff. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, why not? If you're so confident. - I mean, we're talking about fetish stuff. - Okay, after the race barefoot. - I'm not saying sexually kiss my feet. - After the race barefoot. - After the race barefoot, do I have to watch? I don't wanna be there for it. - You absolutely have to watch. - I don't wanna see it. Joe watch it. - That's a punishment. - Joe watch it. - Okay. - All right, I also think that there's the joke that he would dust both of us. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, I'm smoking you guys. - Unless, you know. - I'm in really good shape right now too. Running wise. - Unless a cramp happens, you never know. - No, that is true. - That is true. - I would 5K, I will let my legs break. - I've seen enough videos of people running, and then that song pops up to, ♪ Hines, low, main, number, then night ♪ - I would stop and like put your arm over me and we'd pinch together, you know what I mean? I wouldn't be able to do it. - Pick me up. - I'm going back fucking pissing on your face and then I'm running more. - Damn, it's crazy. - It's gonna be one of those moments where Frankie's at the finish line and he sees me coming, but he sees Joe's stumbling. He's like, "I gotta go back, I can't." - Here's the only way I would do it. If we all wore shirts with Mario Kart buildouts on it, like our character, our kart and everything, so I could say I finally fucking beat you in real Mario Kart. - Wow. - What we would have to do is pick each other's shirts, probably, right, that's funny. - Okay, let me now start putting what I need in order for this to make this happen. And that's just the freedom to wear whatever I want. - Okay. - I think that makes it less interesting if you get to do whatever you want. - Do you want me to dress up like Bowser? - I mean, you said Bowser. - Honestly though, that's pretty cool. - That's funny. - I'm not dressing up like Bowser. - Why? - I don't know. - Do they have like Nintendo 5Ks? - They have everything. - What could that possibly mean? - I don't know, like the metal you get is like the power up mushroom. - Oh, honestly, they good, I don't know. - People had that on signs throughout the whole race, it was very nice. - Oh, like power up? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I hit them all. - Yeah, we know you did, dude. - Whenever I see a dog, would you drink for your preage race prep? You who? - No, I don't actually like it. Mile 10 though, Danny and JT hit me with a surf side. - Crucial. - What flavor? - I see. - Crucial surf side. - It's good. - Crucial surf side. - It was really crucial. - Okay, so there is one on June 21st. - No. - There's also June 16th, if that makes you feel better. - Oh, also no. - Right. (laughs) - June 21st, okay. - I mean, first of all, that's the day after my son's birthday, which you both have been invited to. - You have to get up early. (laughs) - So all be there. - The day before I will be eating all of the hot dogs and every beer. - How about this? - There's the Brooklyn ice cream social 5K. - Do you like ice cream? - So look at this, look, this is the metal. - An ice cream cone. - It's actually strong. - That's actually pretty cool. - That's good. - That's a cool one. - And you get ice cream at the end. - Also I get one with a bunch of Brooklyn hipsters who are probably walking with their dog, no thanks. - What's that? - July 25th, five days before your birthday. - Actually, I have something the day before in Atlantic City, so. - There's, there's, there's, there's no lasts. - I can't do July. - Then there's the haunted island 5K in October. - I do like spooky stuff. - Yeah, but at that point we're so close to the October just through the half marathon. It would be smart if they did like a 5K but like you're chased by zombies or something. - That would be cool. - That would be cool 'cause then I would, I think I'd do better because like when I get chased by things, which doesn't happen often, but like the idea definitely motivates me more to like, "Oh no." - So how about if I just pay an extra participant in this 5K and I dress him up as a ghoul and I have him about six steps behind you the entire time? - Why do you get in touch with Doug Wycoff's family? - Yeah, like Wycoff when you could swallow these nuts. And on that note, we do have some sponsors of the show. The first one being Squarespace. Squarespace is a website and a platform is gonna help you build your website. So if you have an e-commerce business or you make content or anything like that, you're gonna need a professional looking website. 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And it's the subscription service plays that you can continue to support us. We thank the almost 48,000 of you guys that are supporting us over on Patreon. It is tremendous and we appreciate every single second of it. Thank you so, so, so much. And for those of you guys that don't know about it, it's your first time watching or whatever, go to patreon.com/Basemanyard. And what you can do is you can look at that first year and you get these weekly episodes when we can advance. And then there's that second tier. Not only do you get that, but then you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. Okay, it's really, really, really beautiful. And I know what you're thinking. Oh, Frank, if I sign up for Patreon today, am I just gonna be able to get everything that comes out after it? Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. You're also gonna get everything that came before it. So you'll get episodes from years ago up until whatever comes out during the duration of your subscription. 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We appreciate it. Go check it out patreon.com/TheBasemanyard. Ooh, all right. I think it's my turn. Can you guys close your eyes for me? I want you to imagine something. Close my eyes again. This girl's good. No, see, are you going to prank me? No, no, I won't prank you. So your eyes are closed. Yep, you are seeing a big tray of buffalo wings. Hell yeah, dude, now this is what I'm talking about. Fuck, we're running. Okay, you open your eyes and these are the options you have. Which one are you picking first? Which wing are you selecting first? That's a good Gwemjim. I have an answer. Those are sauce bitches. I think I have like the answer. I think I know I have the answer as well. Should we say it at the same time? Probably not. Okay, I'm going to go my number, I'm going to go my number one. I'll tell you the worst one I see right now as well. You want to do that? Let's start with the worst one. Oh, worst one I think is number six. No. Six. Oh, 11. Oh, 11? Dude, 13. 11 has nothing on it. Yeah, but 13 has the broken bone thing. I hate that. Oh, yeah, that's bad. No, that's bad. 11 is pretty bad, but also six like, that's the one you bite into and it's mostly cartilage and it's not like enough actual meat. Six looks fine. The best one. Okay, easily. Easily the best one is 14. Yup, 100%. 14 is the one. 14. What? You don't like 14? The best one is seven. Are you out of your fucking mind? What the fuck? It's a drumstick. Yeah, it's a drum. No, flats over drums. Oh, flats. Flats, baby. You're a drumstick kind of girl. You two are those, all right? No, no, no. We're everybody. We are the world. We are the children, okay? We are the world. We are the world. We are the children. We are the children. We don't have fun to make a better place. So let's start giving. And you're nobody. If you're going flat, the 12 is better. The 12 or the 10 is better than the 14. No, wait, do 14. Here's the thing about 14 is that it's an even cook and it's a good sauce application on there. And she's got meat on her. And there's a ton of sauce on it. Yeah, hell yeah. Like that's number one. I will also, first of all, I would go any flat on there over any drum on there. Seven is an outrageous answer, by the way. It's the best looking wing. No, it is absolutely not. Four is better. Three is even better than seven. Three is really good. Wait, there's one that's not labeled that kind of has a fat ass right under six. What is that about? What's going on? Yeah, I think he got cut off. I don't know what's going on there, but she's got some potential to work. 16, throw it out or I'm going to scream. Well, 16 might be a deceptive picture 'cause it just might be from a weird angle, you know what I mean? Maybe. 13 is bad, really, really bad. 11 is probably the worst one. I would say the best drum on there, it could be three. I would agree. Three looks like a drum stick. Three and seven have the best ones on here. I can't believe you, seven is not even like top five. Oh. Yes, seven is crazy. Seven is so bad. Nine is better than seven. I agreed. Eight, oh my god, eight is a lovely little. Dude, four is a good looking wing, dude. You know, it's a sneaky good one, five, because you get your thumb in there and push the meat off. Whoa, that was crazy. That was crazy. Thumb. Get your thumb in there. You know, it's like you, I'm not doing it. Dude, how do you do these things in public? First of all, yeah, why are you using your thumb to eat chicken wings? I'm saying you push, like you grip the bone, you push it down, I can't be doing this. I mean, people who are just audio are probably like, what are they talking about? Go show us how you grip from the base and push down with your thumb. With your thumb. Yeah. Yeah. Two's got a good coating on it. Hey, how do you, serious question? If you're, and I want a visual representation of what I'm asking. Oh boy. If you're going to eat five, how are you eating it? It depends how I'm feeling. Normally, I would just rip the bone apart, take one out, and then eat like a drum anyway. See, but why are you trying to civilize chicken wings? Civilize. They're meant to be filthy. OK, so even if you do it the way where you just put the whole thing in your mouth, and you pull, the five has a good thumb hold right there. Wait, how do you eat chicken wings? Well, it's flat or drum. You got to tell me. Oh, flat. A flat? You shove the whole flat in your mouth? The whole flat in my mouth, and I pull out. And then if there's anything in the middle, I hold it sideways, and I break through. Oh, I see. How do you? I'll do that if they're like super tender, but I don't like leaving a bunch of meat in the middle that I got to like fish out. No. I'm telling you right now, there's more meat on a T-Rex carcass than there is on those wings when I'm done with them. OK, there's no meat left on a T-Rex. All right, I was trying to figure out what you meant by that. They're fossilized bones now. Got that. Oh. Yeah, I didn't know. Got it. I was like, what? Nice. But over there sometimes where, like, if it's not coming off like that, then I'll-- You ever do the thing where you just press down, and it just comes off? No. That's what I was saying. Well, I've never done that. That's what I was saying, the thumb thing. But like, it looks cool when people do it on the bus. Wings are one of the foods that, like, I fully sack-- like, I submit myself to the mess. Because there's certain foods that, like, you know they're going to be messy, but you try to not let it be messy. Like, everyone does the twirl with the spaghetti. And like, you avoid the mess. Oh, my God. People who eats spaghetti with a spoon and a fork, come on. People do that. Come on. I get it. I'm not going to-- I'm not that upset them. But don't slurp ether. Don't be slurping spaghetti. I understand the upset-- Do you slurp-- I sneak a slurp in every now and then. What about super? You're just like a loud slurp in every now and then. But I'm not doing it to be like annoying. Every now and then a slurp sneaks in. And that's just because it's just sometimes it's too hot and I want to eat it. So you slurp. Just like I said, it's like a bit of a litmus test just to see how hot it is. Yeah, but that's not slurping. Slurping's like-- Well, then I have to-- Yeah. But then, once I'm like, oh, this is good. I'll either just drink it or I'll just spoon it. Yeah. Most of the soups that I have now, I
drink like it's a cup like you ever ordered like sushi and it comes with a miso soup. Yeah, I just take it and I drink it like it like that. Yeah, it's fun. Yeah, I like it. New way of doing stuff. Oh, what do you do? Me? With a straw? No. You are a straw guy though. I love straws. I don't know if this came up on the show or not. When we went to Austin, this dude had straws in his fucking luggage. All right. Yeah, brought straws. Him and that's stupid. And shot glasses. We used both things. First of all, you and Greg used the shot glasses to take shots over Jose. That's such a great thing. It's Greg's idea. Yeah, of course. That's Greg's idea. That is, I mean, I get it because you don't want to share the bottle and stuff like that. But there was also cups. There's also cups everywhere. There's cups everywhere. And like normally like Airbnb's will have wine glasses as like one of the like cup options. Yeah. So I don't get bringing shot glasses. Oh, you know, it's the party. Yeah. The party's here. I don't know what you guys do without me. Don't take shots. No, no, not the shots. We didn't even take shots. I'm saying like you guys were playing with my switch. Oh, I wasn't there. I don't know which was massive. What were you guys doing? If I wasn't there, just staring at each other. I mean, yeah, I'm not. I didn't say anything about the switch. The shot glasses though. What would we do without you? Let's look at the 33 years of history before. I don't know what you guys are doing. We're a party in beer pong. Beer puff up cup guys. Hey guys, guess you showed up the guy that has shots in his luggage. Oh, yeah, yeah. I have. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I get like the idea. It's just just in case. It's just prep. Also, we got stuck there at St. Paddy's Day. They came in real handy. I like to say, came in handy as if you were in the third world and you wouldn't have been able to find shot glasses anywhere. We didn't have to. You were in Austin. You were in Austin, Texas. You could have walked down the street to a CVS and gotten disposable shot glasses. We did do a shot of Jameson, which I did not want to do. No, he did not. I was bullied into that. No disrespect to the Jameson team. Days of drinking Jameson along behind me. Yeah, just like days of drinking. Dude, I was a big Jack Daniels fan to the point where it was a problem. I loved Jack Daniels. Probably as much as I assume Ken Rock does. Yeah. Back in the day. I had Jack Daniels and probably had a picture of me holding it. And then the picture of, you know, John Belushi chugging it with a sweater that says college. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm talking about. Also, when Jack Daniels came out with like the honey, dude, that's hold on though. I do want to say that, remember, this was a couple of years ago, but Jack Daniels and Coke made the Jack Daniels. Those could do the Jack and Cokes in the can. I was like, this is innovative and genius. I'm not kidding when I say this. I was a big Jack and Coke drinker for years and years and years. It was the only cocktail I knew years and years and years. I've seen like bottled or canned cocktails and I've tried a couple. The only one that I believe is like exactly what it was when you get it made at like a bar or something or make it yourself was the canned Jack and Coke. It truly was like, well, you would hope because it's both brands. I know, but like really does sometimes they like, you know, they like overengineer something. Yeah, and like it takes away the spirit of it like no brother. This just feels like they went like they literally went Jack, Coke. And I was very, I was happy with it. Yeah. They have Jack and Coke zero ones too. That's the ones like it. Whoa. You're a savior for drinking Coke zero. I've just gotten into the diet so to like universe. I never got into like, I feel like Diet Coke people are like fiends like there's a cult behind Diet Coke. Yeah, there are. It's wild. Yeah. They must make so much money just from Diet Coke. I mean, I imagine the Fridge Sigs is like a thing now. What the? Oh. Fridge. A Fridge Sig. That's great. That's what they call Diet Coke to do. You haven't seen like people making like shirts that say like, pass me a Fridge Sig and it's like, um, like clearly looks like a pack of cigarettes like a marble red and it's open and it's just a thing of Diet Coke. I love that. That's so funny. Yeah. No, people that like, there's two types of people. People that just don't drink Diet Coke or people that have it with every ounce of their being and will defend it until the day. Oh, as per times, I'm even that bad for you. I mean, it isn't. I know, but I'm saying like, those are the people. It's not like casual diet Coke drinkers. Bro, I like, I guess I just, it was just one of those parts of life that you don't think about for so long. But now that I'm like conscious and realizing what's going on, it's kind of like incredible. A Diet Coke is zero calories. I am holding on to whatever of my youth I have left by refusing to drink Diet Soda of any type. What do you mean? Because like, I will convince and not well, I fully have convinced myself that like cane sugar. Yeah. Soda's like, you know how they do like the Mexican Cokes and like, I think a lot of soda brands are now rolling out more like cane sugar options than high fructose corn syrup. But like, I will convince myself to the day I die. Like, I'm being a healthier person by having that compared to the high fructose corn syrup. I think that as long as you're not abusing either, you're being healthy. No, high fructose corn syrup. Like, oh, there is high fruct. I thought if you had cane sugar, then you don't. That's what I'm saying. High fructose corn syrup in any capacity. I can only speak for myself is not good for me. Like, whether it's one, whether it's five, but I'm saying I have convinced myself that just the exact same drink with the exact same sugar content, but just with cane sugar is better for me, despite the fact that it's 130% my daily value for sugar. So like, I am not there on diet soda of any kind. Like, someone wants, where were we recently that someone had a diet orange soda and I was like, just don't have it at that point. I mean, it probably tastes the same and it's zero calories. That's absurd. I am one of those people that I believe with so much confidence I could taste the difference between diet and regular. You probably could, but it's not worth the health difference. Yeah, because something like orange soda too has like a lot of sugar. So like, I do look at like, I know I like, I am a skeptic. I think you know that about me. I look at diet soda and just say like, there's something we're missing. Like, this is too good to be true. Yeah. To be a real thing. And for it to not like in 10 years, it forms into like a glob monster in our stomach and eat us somehow. Like, there's something we don't get yet. Well, that's a thing. Like, people say like the ass retain is like the bad thing, which it is technically like not good if you had a lot, but the, but the amount you would need to drink in a single day is like 30 cans. Like Dr. Mike says at all the time on his show, the dose makes the poison. Yeah, not anything like water to which too much of a kill you. Yes, exactly. I, but yeah, it's it's outrageous. I don't really like, I guess just not drinking soda at all for so many years. I don't really like crave it, but I find it fascinating. I will tell you right now, we have the many ones of like that's that's smart and responsible ginger ale and whatever. Yo, I'm right now real like I've had like, you know, like you have like a Coca-Cola and then you have like off brand like real cane sugar cola. Nothing is as good as the real stuff except for ginger ale. Yo, I had real like real legit ginger ale and I was like, what have we been missing out on our whole life? This is so good. What are you talking about? It's just so much better than like sweeps. What's what's real ginger ale? Like when you look when you get ginger ale like like a Canada dryer, sweeps, no disrespect, it's like high for those coins are up and you know like ginger extract and stuff like that like when you get like legit ginger ale. Where would I get that? What is it? They bottle it. They sell it at the store. It's just ginger. It's it's basically just like soda water, a little bit of cane sugar and like ginger juice. Okay. It'll fucking blow your mind. You'll be like, wow, that is like a significant difference. Yeah. In quality, just better. Yeah, I don't know, it's fascinating. Diet snapple doesn't get it right. That's the only that's the only diet product where the calories of regular snapple is a hundred percent worth it because it tastes awful. Diet snapple tastes awful. I just don't understand like people are like, I'm going to have a diet mountain dude. Like you're already there. Just what I know there's a massive just happen I'm saying like if you're going to the point where like you're having. I feel the opposite than what you're saying. Like if you're going to have soda, just have the one that has 40 grams of sugar. I think I'm more referencing the fact like if it's like a niche soda. Like oh man, I really love Mr. Pib. Like just have Mr. Pib don't have diet Mr. Pib. I feel differently. I feel like if you can get you went you went to the park go down the slide. Yeah, but it's so different. Is it? Yeah. Because like the if I like the only soda that I've consistently liked has been ginger ale? Like a Coca-Cola guy? No, I'm not like. Oh, no, no, I like it. You and your cream soda or root beer. Well, like I don't
I don't like drink that. I haven't drank that since I was like nine, but a diet, like Coke to me, 'cause I don't drink the regular stuff. It tastes, it does what it needs to do. - That's fine. And that's good. I don't think there's any one sitting in this triangle right here that is going to say that you're not being a more responsible version of a human being. - I just can't wrap my mind around. Like, if you have any insert brand name of a soda, and it's whatever amount of calories, 200 to 300, with like 50 grams of sugar, and then you can get the same thing that is very close and taste, and it's zero. - What? - Yeah, but then you're gonna look at it and you're gonna be like, why? Like that's me, like, I, like, - Because there's an answer. - For some reason, and I know this is stupid. - It's the aspartane. - I know it, but listen, I know this is dumb. I know it, I know it, I know it. In my head though, it's like, I feel like I'm getting more of an answer with the one that has the sugar in it, then the one that tastes the exact same and doesn't. Like, I feel like I understand that. - Be right. - What the fuck is that over there? - But all that requires is for you to be open to being wrong about me. - But listen, you know me, I'm not gonna do that. - I'm gonna do that about certain things in life. - Not soda. - You think I'm gonna be, you want me to admit that I'm a human and I can, and that I'm wrong about soda? - I'm an idiot, yeah, what am I thinking? - Who do you think you're talking to here? (laughing) - That's so funny. - Are you diet guy? - Uh, yeah, diet coke for sure. - Oh yeah, you're big on diet. - Diet coke, I mean, it's just wasted calories the other way. Already, you know. If you're drinking already, getting those calories, do the diet coke. - I just, I also, fuck, do I need to try a diet? No, I'm not doing this. (laughing) - I'm not diet coke in the fridge. Wait, if you've tried one before-- - You've had a diet coke. - I can't. - I'm not even kidding. I can't tell you the last time I had a diet coke. - Pro, it's kind of incredible. - I'm getting a diet coke. - It's gonna try a diet coke. - It's kind of insane. - I guess I'll try one now. - Yeah, it's kind of wild. - Oh look, oh, oh yeah, you're limping. - He's limping away. - He's limping away. - Some big limping. What does that mean? - All right, before we get to Frank trying a diet coke for the first time in 10 years, probably more than that. - Maybe 20. - We do have some more sponsors, the first one being Rocket Money. Rocket Money is an all-in-one personal finance app. That is just focus on putting money back in your pocket. So they're gonna do that in a couple of ways. One being unwanted subscriptions. Maybe you signed up for something a while ago and you've been paying for it, but you haven't really been using it or you signed up for a free trial and you had plans on canceling it. You never did, you've been paying for that. Or just good for finding all of your expenses in one place and then realizing I can get rid of a couple of these things so that I could save more money. They also have a budgeting tool so that you could set a budget for yourself every single month and when you have that budget, you can be more financially responsible. You put your expenses in it so you know you're not going above that so you can grow your savings even more. And they also have a tool where you can literally upload a picture of your bill of a bill that you have. And if they can lower it, they will do so. So it's all focused on putting the money back in your pocket, making you a more financially responsible person and growing your savings. So this is very helpful. Yeah, rock and money, you can go check it out. Help reach your financial goals faster today. You can go to
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I'm just, I'm not even, like I can't tell you the last time I had a diet coke. - What, give it, when do you think the last time you had a diet coke was? - Truly. - Truly, like, what are we saying, like had, like ordered one and got one or bought one from the store? - Did it touch your lips? - Yeah, when was the last time you had drank it? - Maybe 15 to 20 years ago. - Whoa. - And when was the last time you had a Coca-Cola Saturday? - Okay. - All right. - So you're not a stranger to the taste? - Yes, I have gone on record. I'm gonna be a real fucking hero here and say that I believe Coca-Cola is the best soda. - Okay. - You know, but, like, I'm just looking at this. - That's a DC, babe. It was to the point that, like, Coca-Cola came out with, like, a line of, like, vintage glass bottles when I was in high school and I, like, bought some for my dad and I. - You love it. - Don't you? - I do. - Well, then you'll work out. - You're gonna think this is, I think I actually brought it in on that episode we did months ago and years ago, like, bringing in old stuff. I saved one and filled it with sunflower seeds, put the top back on it and wrote Frankie on it 'cause I was like, this is me in a bottle. - What the hell does that mean? Well, you put sunflower seeds in a, in a, - Yeah, I drank the soda out of a Coca-Cola bottle. - Yeah, filled it with sunflower seeds. - Like a plastic bottle? - No, a glass. - It was a glass bottle. - Yeah. - And then you filled that with seeds, so. - And you put the cap back on. - Yeah. - And you said, this bottle is representative of me. - You got it. - It's just a simple guy. - Just give me some seeds and some soda that I'm chilling. - Frankie, yep. - That sounded good. Give me the sound. - I, you smell it, yeah, like, it's why I'm aerated. (laughing) - I can already, I, well, I can't say anything 'cause I know it's a diet coke, so I can't say it or be like, I smell a difference. But like. - You give that a big taste. - That tastes like the '90s. - Tastes like the '90s. - We always had Coca-Cola at my house in the '90s and diet coke. My mom was one of those people. That was just like, diet coke. - Yeah. - Yeah, dude. - Is it good? - Yeah, I mean, it's definitely diet. - You can, it's like, it's extreme for you? - Again, I'm, it could be mental 'cause I know I'm drinking it, so like. - I think you would be able to tell the truth. - I do too, but like, to be fair, I can't sit here and say with 100% certainty. - I think I could tell. - You'd be able to tell. 'Cause then when you drink a normal coke, you go, whoa, it's a lot of sugar. And that's zero. So imagine the guilt you have from having like, why am I peddling? - Yeah. - I'm like, talking to you. - But like, you're really working hard for Coca-Cola. - No, it's honestly, like, it's because it's very recent to me that like, I just started like having like, the little little nips. No, you need your fridge dart. - My fridge dart. No, they're like, whatever, the smaller cans. And I'm like, how, like, it's just zero calories is crazy to me. And it's a soda, like, I'm tasting soda in my mind. - Yeah, I mean, it's just, it's just a weird, another thing that makes it really cool is that like, they have their recipe like, in a basement, in like, a vault somewhere. I think that's pretty cool. - Do they? - Why do you have that? - That's like the thing that people know about Coca-Cola. - They have a recipe on like, the pyres and they have it in a basement? - Yeah, in a vault. - You never saw the Coke vault? Pull up a, pull up a picture of the Coke vault.
- The Coco Vault. - If this is a real door and not, I was tricked, it's a fucking sick vault, dude. - Fuck off, I thought that was, that's real? - Yeah, I trust this image. - Yeah, all the other ones could be potentially artificial. - Yeah, but this one looks like there's a line and a thing and-- - Oh, you can like walk by it. - Yeah. - Dude, like, that's-- - Where is this? - I think in Georgia? - Yeah. - At Lane. - Wow. - Like, it's like a thing to sick he whole. - Yeah. - Look, man, I think that makes it also way cooler. Like, no one's like vying for, I guess technically it is, but Diet Coke also, but like, it's like a legit secret. - And it's like, you'll never know. - It's like where Mr. Krabs has the Krabby Patty formula. - Sorry. (laughing) - I mean, we are just on the cusp of understanding SpongeBob references. 'Cause it-- - Oh, you guys don't. - No, we do, I mean, it takes food when we were like, of course I know SpongeBob, it debuted when we were like eight. - I loved SpongeBob. - Big, SpongeBob. - You don't even know SpongeBob. - Yeah, I know SpongeBob. - You know the new shit. You know where SpongeBob is like a fucking full idiot. We remember when he was annoying. - Huh. - You know the episode where it's like, and they keep talking like that. - Yeah, that's all I love about it. - Let's see old animation. And it's not just a boulder to rock. - Yeah, how about he nyoy me nyoy? Who's that? Who's that bitch? - Big doodle bob. - It is doodle bob. You remember doodle bob, right? - That's a very easy one. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What about the crusty crab pizza? Is the pizza for you and me. - All right, he knows that one. All right. - That's the same thing as the boulder in the rock. Sorry to bring up SpongeBob everybody. - Why are you sorry? I don't know. - Is there like a point of, is this like a hot button subject here? - No. - I think SpongeBob is still a universally loved piece of intellectual property. I don't think there's a lot there for people to get upset about. - You ever see the dude who does SpongeBob's voice? - Tom Kenny. - Whenever I see him do it, I'm like, I don't know if I like that. - He, I don't like singing. - If you would ask me to draw the guy that does SpongeBob's voice, that's who I would draw. - I would draw him on a Grande's boyfriend for sure. - Yeah. - Oh, that video that went viral of him singing at the, 'cause that's how a lot of people don't know that. That's where Ethan Slater got big 'cause he did SpongeBob on Broadway. - Yeah. - Which is a sentence that's never been uttered before. - I got big on Broadway 'cause it's SpongeBob. - And he looks like, yeah, that's SpongeBob. - He's a C's SpongeBobby. - He's a seasoned SpongeBob. - Yeah. - Like he's a wealthy guy. Have you ever seen the guy that does Mr. Krabs? You know, you know the actor. You've seen him in other things, but like. - Pull him up. - Klancy Brown. - Klancy Brown is his name. - Klancy Brown? You could just write Klancy Brown. - Yeah, you know this guy. He does a lot of voice acting. - Yeah, so does Tom Kenny. - Wait, that's him, the dude from fucking Shawshake? - Yeah. - Oh, shit. - Yeah. - That's Mr. Krabs, the guy from Shawshake? - Yeah, dude. - Just want to bucket a surge for me and my fellas. - Yeah, he's done a lot. - Wow. - Dude, being a voice actor is probably a pretty cool gig. - I would do it. I think it's cool. - I would love to be a voice actor. - Can you do voices? - I'll figure it out. - Well, no, that's not how the job is. - It works, they're not gonna hire you. - You can figure out anything. - All right. - Do like, do Mr. Krabs. - Yeah, do Mr. Krabs. - But I'm not Mr. Krabs. - I love Krabs, that's greedy and loves money. - I don't know. - Yeah, so you're fired, actually. - You'll never get it. - I feel like we would be good voice actors. - Me? - That's it. - I don't know. - Maybe, I don't know, I could do my voice, but I don't think it's interesting enough. - I think you could do like, I don't have like an interesting voice. - But like, I think the part of voice acting that you would be good at is like, you're not just doing your voice. You're like turning it up for a little bit. Yeah. Yep. Your Joe, hello. But you're a skater that really loves to hang out and eat tacos. (laughing) I'm a skater? - Yeah. - Like I just like skating. - Yeah. - Okay. - That was not bad, see? - I wasn't doing a voice. - Exactly. You were so enveloped in the character. Is that the word? - Invelloped? - Invelloped? - Yeah. - Is that a word? - Yeah. - Like an envelope. - That's my. - Yeah. - Yeah, how is that? - That's okay. - When you're like fully in something, you're enveloped in it. - I had no idea-- - Or buy it and enveloped by it. Maybe you don't know it. - The actual syntax. - Thanks for that. - You're welcome. That's the only one you get after you fuck the way you spoke to me earlier. - I didn't say no. - After you fucked. - No, no, no. - Come down. - Whoa, what happened? - No, so you're a skater that just loves tacos. - Like a Californian skater? - Yeah, but see, like, there you go, dude. Like, you just gotta be yourself and like, draw it up a little bit. - You know? - You would have been really good in like those 90s, like, rocket power. - That's what I was thinking, honestly. - Yeah. - I think we would have been good in rocket power. - Real quick, rocket power, right? - You watched that, and obviously you're like, which one of these guys am I? Which one did you think you were? - I wish. - Which one did you want to be? - I wanted to, who didn't want to be Otto? Everyone wanted to be Otto. - I didn't. Who did you want to be? The other ones. - What's his name? - Squid? - No. - Squid. - Who's how you look? - Who think I want to be? - No, that's why I'm confused. - Who's the other guy with the backwards hat? Otto? - Twister? - It's a twister. - Is his name Twister? - Do we know? - Otto, Twister, or Squid? - What's the girl's name? - Damn, I don't remember. - I guess I don't remember rocket power as well as I thought I did. - It earned your goddamn paycheck. - Yeah, bitch. Otto, Regina. - You wanted to be a lot, oh no. Maurice, I had no idea. - You wanted to be Maurice? - Like the name alone, that's suck. - Click on Maurice. This guy had a nickname. He needed a nickname. - He's Twister, bro, Twister. - Thank you. - Oh my goodness. Damn, I thought it was just like, I want to be Maurice. - No, no, no. - As soon as I heard Maurice, I'm like, I'm out, dude. - No, no, I wanted to be him, though, 'cause I was like, yeah, I'm probably not Otto, but at least I could be Twister. - Of course I wanted to be Otto, dude. - Look at Otto. Look how fucking rad he, like those glasses. Are you kidding me? - It's kind of crazy. - I mean, I don't know where the mustache thing came in. - That's a leader. - That's honestly a weird one. - Twister? - Twister's a sick name. - I will, the backwards can goal is kind of bananas, to be honest, with you. - Yeah, you know what, though, I'm confident you could pull it off. - I don't know. - You could have like the little hair flip in the front, like that. I think you do all right. - Did you watch this show? - I didn't, I was, it was on during my time. I just, I never watched this one, though. - Oh yeah, I loved it. - What was your thing? - I think it was a kid's, codename kid's next store. - Oh yeah. - Where does that? - It was like kids that are like spies and they're like, this is number one, number three, number two, number five. They're like spies, they're like spies. - Oh, they were numbered? - Yeah, they would call themselves each other like number one and he was like a little kid. - Oh. - Oh yeah, why were there bald kids? - There's always a bald kid. - Yeah, I guess so. - Wait, there was bald children in the show you're talking about? - Yeah, number one was bald, pull it up. - Number one was bald and also cullo, cullo, cullo. - Cuyo, cuyo, can't believe I knew that and you didn't. - Cullo, cullo, I've never heard of this show. - Oh, I've seen a picture of this. - Yeah, you've definitely seen it. Oh, I've seen that. That reminds me of Danny. - This guy, my Danny? - Yeah, you're Danny. - Yes, definitely, my Danny. - Number two, that's number two. - Oh, yeah, I could tell by his hat. - Yeah. - Dude, they lean into the numbers pretty hard. - Going back to Rocket Power. - Hindsight, I think if we watch it, it wouldn't be very well-represented of like, the guy that plays Tito, how he's just like a caricature for like, the Hawaiian man. - Yeah, I mean, you know, and it's like, all right. - What am I gonna do? - I don't know if we could repeat some of those sayings. - Frankie, you want to do a voice acting thing for me? - Yeah, sure, yeah. - Do you have something? - I have a villain released after a thousand years from a crypt who sees an old friend. - Give me more here. - Do villains have friends? Let's get that. - Other villains, dude. - That's fair. - But do they even like each other or do they could use it? - I mean, even, I'm not gonna say it. Yeah, they have friends. Or, you know, like a companion that has released this villain from the crypt. - Ah, yes. - So am I the other one? I've released you. - Yes. - How many years? - Thousand years. - Thousand years. You're probably like soar a little bit. - Am I like, what kind of villain am I? Am I like a real like cheeky son of a bitch? Or am I just like, you're an evil bitch? - I think, but I think I'm like funny and witty and I try to be like, ha ha ha. Like, Hades from Hercules? - No, no, no, you're a fucking evil. - Yeah. - Oh, I'm a real skumbag. - Yeah, yeah. - There's a reason you're a lock up for a thousand years. - It was like, now, within this prison of mine. - Yes, sir. - Yes. - Do I have access to speak or is it like, I'm like in carbonite? Like, I can't speak. - No, this is your first time. - Yeah. - This is like, Jeannie coming out of the lamp. Like, 10 thousand years. It's such a crick in the neck. - Yeah. - So that's you, but evil. - Ah, okay. - All right, that's tough. I think I can do it. - I would say even you are stone. And you're kind of like breaking out. - You're coming out of it. - All right. - You're coming back. So give him, you have to release me, but you have to say something to release me. - I can do a, what's that called, incantation? - Yeah, yeah. - And then you start breaking out of your shell. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, follow me here. - I don't know how to do this without sounding offensive. (laughing) - Drink a diet coke. - What is the evil dead one, Nas, Farakta, Nikto?
I don't know the evil dead one off top my head isn't that like hunda and I'm gonna stop there just in case something like that. Yeah, that was the bad one. Just pretend I did it already. Yeah, okay. All right, all right. You just bridges. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Why am I evil? Who am I, who am I evil against? Those damn kids. Oh As soon as I get my hands on those damn kids. Please don't take that. You are. Oh my god, the government will be ready seconds. All right. I think you're like Scooby-Doo. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're really stretching. I felt you're twitching up the cowboy a little bit. We get a little more skeleton in there. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I finally got it. I mean, I appreciate your commitment. I'm trying. I'm sure. I'm thinking like Skeletor from like the old man ones, you know, where he's just like. Yeah. You know something like that. I don't know. We should do a whole episode. You give me this. What does that mean? All right, you're. Oh wait, I don't. Okay. You're an old evil genie. Genie. Yeah. But like you're kind of like you think you're like you're funny, but you want to take people souls. Can Janie's do that. And I let you out. And I let you out. But I think you're going to do good. Right. But like you're like I, you don't know who I you. You don't even know who you let out. Who are you? I'm just me. A dude. Yeah. But you're just like you found my life found your lap. And I think, oh man, great. Now I got a genie lamp. Yeah. But like you're an actual bad person. Uh, uh, an old guy. I mean, you are thousands of years old, but you were Gina, Gina sized. Genified. What does that mean? Turned into a genie when you were 34. So I'm just me. I mean, that's for you to decide my friend. So what am I doing? I rub the lamp and you're coming out. And it's like, I think I'm like, oh my god. Yes, I have a genie, but you're like little do you know who you just let out big boy. You don't need to say that. Big boys. Yeah. All right. You have no idea who you just let out big boy. What wish do you want? Let me know what wish you want. Big boy comes out. He's just hitting on you. Oh, come here. Rubbed my lamp. Who needs a wish? No shirtless with you. Honestly, sell like Will Farrell right now. Oh, there was a little Will Farrell in there. You know, that would be a funny movie. Do you remember the sketch he did with Garth Brooks in the 90s where he plays the devil. And it's like the devil's going to play this guitar, but he sucks at it. Yeah, you remember that. He's like, oh, I'm going to shred this. He's like, hold on. Yeah. I'm getting it. Oh, dude, imagine rubbing a lamp and a genie popped out. Yo, after I saw a land when I was a child, I was rubbing everything. Yeah. I mean, I bet you were. Yeah. It's fair to. Yeah. I was myself. Jesus. I used to like, I'll skip that one. Yeah. I used to think the same thing. Like, if I were to like, just like, remember how in like Dexter's laboratory, he like lifted up like a family portrait and there was like a button. I love that. I would like search behind like things hung up in my house, be like, maybe there's a button to like a secret lab. I think that when people have should like that in their house, I think it's so cool. Do you think when you have a giant house, because we know. You'll have like, because people have installed like modern day like bookcases where like they move a book and it opens to like the the man cave. Yeah, which we can agree. I hate the man. Man caves are so stupid. I just have a house. And I, I feel like this. This is the man cave. What gave it away? This sign that says parking for Yankee fans only. I hate that so much. Oh, the bathroom. It's a urinal and guess what's in there of David Ortiz's face. Yeah. Like, I don't need all the signage. I don't want this. Yeah. Or like even worse, you go, not even worse. But like in addition, people's like man caves and there's 80 TVs. Who needs this? Yeah. And it's like that's, that's my chair. That's the holy, that's the holy throne. Here's the rules rule number one. No bitching. Rule number one. I'm always right. Rule number two. Fuck the Patriots. It's like, all right. We get rule number one. Yeah, we knew you've been to Hobby Lobby. We understand. Yeah, it's rough. What was the question? How will I do the bookcase? I could see that being like cool for like a reading nook. I would love that. I mean, yeah, I don't know that unfortunately it would make a lot of sense. But I think that it is cool or like a button. You can have a button on like a bust of William Shakespeare and you like pushes head back, press it in the door opens. I could see you having like a room that has like Florida ceiling bookshelves. Ooh, I really like that. I like a book like a library ladder. You want a library ladder when I could just like kick off and be like, what do you need? Yeah, but here's the thing. They used to be filled with cool looking books. Now the spines of all the books are like white and colorful. Yeah, it was like old bound leather. Yeah, like spell books. Yes. I want to open a book in cough. Bro, yeah, I want it to be dusty and have like a spestus in the pages. I could see you having something like, I am going to go out on a limb. I think you should. And if you don't, you kind of suck. I'm dropping the ball. I should just buy encyclopedias. I don't even know what they do anymore. I haven't opened one sense. Third grade. Literally, like an absolutely defunct form of technology because of the internet. Also an Almanac forgot what that is. I think it's just like the world like pictures of maps. Yeah, like what is an Almanac? It's like a somewhat agriculture. I feel like that word. No, it's stupid. It's just like, oh, here, here's a map of America. Here's a map of the eastern part of America. And also here's a map of the Northeast. And it's like, I don't need a whole book for maps. Yeah, stupid. Although when I was in London, there was a story walked into and they had a bunch of old maps from like old bro. I'm going to do some kind of cool books after 1999 suck. Yeah, what? So trash. I need an old book that smells like shit and probably has like some blood on a page. And I'm going to go further like not what they called softcover books. Yeah paperbacks paperback books are stupid. Oh, I like paperbacks. Nope. Hard covers are way better. No, I'm reading. I want to put this thing down and it makes a stooge. Yeah. Like paperback is just like like, fuck, we got books around here somewhere right there. Oh, yeah, perfect. Oh, you got two examples right there. Yeah, look at that. So this is Greg's book. No disrespect to Greg, but it's a paperback. So it's right. It's a Greg book. Yeah, careful. He'll text you. Oh, wow. There's a there's a cop. There's a quote from you on the back of this. Yeah, you don't know the story behind that. No. Bro me and Greg were like friends, but not really yet. And then he asked me to be a part of his book because I had a YouTube channel that was popular at the time and he was trying to use me. Classic. No, that's what that's the joke that I make. But like he had approached me and was like, Hey, I'm writing a book. I would love for you to say like, you know, do this thing. And I wrote something. What does it say? I loved every second of it. I wrote the actual quote that I wrote was I loved every second of it. And I don't even read books. And the person was like, all right, we're shortening this. Yeah, I mean jokes aside, it's wildly impressive that he wrote a book. Yeah, to publish books. I heard nothing but good things about it. I've not read it. However, listen to this. All right. And then this is a book. This is not a t-shirt. This sucks. I don't even know. I don't even know what that is. I don't even know what it is. No disrespect to Gary V. Jessica, Alba and Tony Hawk, but they're on the back of that. Yeah, they wrote something. Listen, you ready? Just listen. Okay. Actually, I'll give it a more fair shake. I'll drop them both like this one like this. Okay. Come on, dude. You like a big I just want like a booming. Yeah, that's like I'm smacking my ass with a roll of fucking newspaper. And when would that be appropriate? Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah. I like old pages. Do you remember when there was a video that went around of like Joe Biden was getting sworn in with a book that looked insane. It had a lock on it. When books have logs on them, I like that.
- Who incredible movie books? - Well, something from Harry Potter, I just can't remember the name of the books. - I wasn't gonna think of that one. I was gonna go with the spell book from Hocus Pocus. - Yeah, that's a good one. - That's a good one. Or the book from the mummy. - I don't remember the mummy. - You don't remember, dude. - What a book! It has a lock on the front that opens like scarabs like that, and they put it and they turn it, and it's fucking good, dude. - This isn't gonna work. - The mummy book. - Oh yeah, there it is, wow. It works. - I think, is it a real book? - That thing, dude. - That looks a little too mechanical. I know that it's it. - This is it though. - Yeah. - It's the death book in the, oh, spoiler, but death book in the life book. - Nice. - Spoiler, the movies from like fucking 1999. - It's great, great, great, great job there with the year. - It was right, 1999. - I'm on it. - Yeah. - Good movie, by the way. - What about the Necromanicon? - Necronomicon. - Whatever. - Yeah, that one's just a scary looking book. - What's a Necroman? - It's from the Evil Dead series. It's like, it's bound in human, oh well, those are real versions of it, which is kind of creepy. - Why? - It's bound with human flesh, and all the pages are written in blood. - Ew! - What? - I mean, it's from a movie. - Ew, like a book made out of flesh is probably a disgust frame. - Yeah, that's not, let's not look at the images, just in case. - Yeah. - Just in case something pops out. - Yeah. - So, was it Necromanicon? - Necronomicon. - Necronomicon? - Yeah. - It's like Necromancer, but a book. - What's that? - A Necromancer is like someone that does like, evil, dead, like magic raises the dead. - Yeah. - I'm only familiar with Necrophilia. Not that I'm familiar with. (laughing) - I'm familiar with the tarp. - That one, that one, I'll get. - Yeah. - Necroph, yeah. Necroph, Necro is like the prefix for like having to do with the dead. - Right. - And then Philia is obviously the Greek. - What's, what's, it's prefix in Sussex? - Post-Fix for like love. - Right. - You know? That's why it's called Phila Delphia. Phila. - Right. - Which is a city of brotherly love. - Tyronic, 'cause I hate it. - Oh yeah, that place. (laughing) - I hate their sports teams. - Yeah. - Well, maybe we can end on Necrophilia. - Nope. Shouldn't we? - We started with Swastika and then on Necrophilia. - What an episode. - Book ends of this episode are. - Very interesting. - Yeah, what are we gonna name this one? - Oh, that's a great question. I have no idea. - That's a problem for another time. Frank, where can they find you? - The Frank Alvers all over and Patreon. Patreon.com/thebaseminyard and the baseminyard all over social media. - And? - Nope, he doesn't get one today. Nope. (laughing) - You can find me at the finish line. - Yep. - Of the half marathon. And you guys can go follow me. I just saying I gotta go follow the show at the baseminyard on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. See you next time.
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