#553 -The Worst Urine Sample

Welcome back to the basement yard. Hi. What's the matter? Ah, you're not having a good day. Uh, it's been a week for the good old confidence, a good old Frankie. Oh, you've had a bad confidence week? It's not been a good old confidence week. You know what I mean? Like, you know, you know. Like, you wake up certain days, you're just like feeling good, feeling great, feeling great, feeling good. How are you? I had a rough performance yesterday and, uh, just trying to get over it. Just like the whole day. Yeah, how are you doing? I'm all right. How about you, Aunt? I'm having a better day than Frankie, I guess. Oh, my day's great. Don't talk about my day. He said his last week was bad. The last, I think it was really just yesterday. I had to give a urine sample and, uh, just didn't, like, I was not happy with it. It didn't like the way it looked? Uh, I'm pretty, I like my peace. What's up? What do you like about it? Solid color, uh, um, seemingly not cloudy, which I hear is an issue. Yeah, uh, okay. I think that's a bad thing, right? Cloudy, I think I don't know. Also, I saw one thing and it was just like, if you have bubbles when you pee, you might need to go to the doctor. Have you ever pissed? I think it's, it depends how hard you're peeing. How hard do you pee? I mean, if I'm in my house, I'm trying to pee as hard as I can. But if, if I'm in public, then I want to piss as hard as possible. So people think that I have an alpha-sized weiner. They want to know, like, they, they want to hear and they be like, that's a big stream that it's got to equal big dick. Literally, and that's, I will go on record and say that this is a universal fact and every man on earth that when you're at the funeral, you're trying to make as much noise as possible. So that the other guy's in there, no big dicks in town. You're at the urinal? That's right. You said he urinal. It's a funeral for your piss. Yes, yes, yes. I mean, he is a urinal. You're a urinal. He technically, you are right. Yeah, it's a weird thing, but like, also, but if you're with, like, the first, like, 25 times I hang out with Becca, I pissed on the side of the bullseye, made no noise. Yeah, you don't want to, you don't want to fucking show off your piss stream. You're going in there. You almost want her to be like, did he even do anything in there? Well, well, also because of the inverse. Because in public, if you do strong stream big dick in, you know, private, you want it to be like, no sound. Because if you do a stream and it makes a little sound, they're just like, oh, look, a little trickle dick over there. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. It's not interesting, though. When you're in public, you want people to hear your pee, but you don't want them to hear your poop. Yeah, I, I mean, no one's like pooping mad hard and being like, oh, what a good asshole. Yeah, well, that's a good butt hole on that guy. The hacker's in there firing off a fucking wizard. I'll do you one better. Like it becomes like, I've been in like bathrooms, like public bathrooms, where when people are having a rough time, it's like a universe, so like everyone feels bad for that person. When they could just be having a normal BM with like normal noises and stuff like that, but like, people are just like, oh, man, feel bad for that guy. Yeah, you're kind of looking around. He's like, he's having a tough, tough time. They're having a tough go. If you've been at the urinal, there's like an older guy next to you, and you could just hear that he's having trouble. Yeah, I feel so bad for that. I feel bad because there's a part of me when I see old people like, like I try to hold doors open, and like, you know, like I want to help them with stuff in public. I'll draw the line there. You don't want to help them pee. Just like help this guy piss, like punch his bladder or something. Or do you ever like encourage him? Like, you got it. You got it. Is that a real thing? Did you guys ever see that movie waiting? Yeah. Remember the guy in that movie like has like an irrational fear of pissing in public? Of course, that's real. Is it real? Yeah. I didn't know that. I thought it was just like a movie thing. I mean, I don't have it. I'll let it rip anywhere. Oh yeah, baby. I'm anything. I'm more afraid to pee and that's the way in my own home. I'd prefer people to listen. No, I had to go for like, do like a urine test. And it was just such a for lack of better terms, piss poor performance in what regard? I was like embarrassed. I didn't pee enough. Oh, you didn't pee enough? Yeah. What kind of, did they give you like a like a champagne flute or what? They gave me, I was very confused by it. They gave me like a disposable coffee cup. Oh, you got to do the pouring? No, no, I had a pee straight in it. But they say like, I don't know if you guys have gotten these directives. No, they kept it, but it just looked like a coffee cup, which is dangerous, right? In why? Brother, if the difference, if there's not a very clear discernible difference between a coffee cup and a urinal sample cup. Oh, that's scary. Did it have a drink spout? No, but like, if I put both in front of you real quick and said, look at them, you would have to go, wait, oh, you know what I mean? Like, I mean, you would notice the contents of the cup one is piss. If they both have a cap on them? Oh. Were they clear? No, they were paper. Like, oh, bro, like go to like a fucking coffee shop. Like the paper cups that coffee comes in. Sounds like you're not at the doctor. Yeah. Where were you? Didnocent is living right there. The person kept collecting and he goes, No, no, no, no, no, no, no. So how big was the cup? A solid like 12 answer? How much piss did you put in it? Frang. I was, I was disappointed in myself. What were you like, the fuck? Come on. Well, I did, I did the whole like the, the, the same, the direct point. Like the clear water. No, I did the directive of like, pee a little, they say when you pee in a cup, like pee a little, like start the stream and then started it in the cup. Right. I don't know why, but apparently you get her going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need to warm the car up before you drive on the highway. I go straight. Really? Yeah, I just go for it. You, I mean, I, I imagine there is a medical reason why they tell us not to do that. So I'm just going to listen to doctors. Oh, I didn't think that. Well, if there is, but now that I think about it, that was, that piss could have been used to make you look like a better pisser. Do you think they got to the lab and they saw the amount of piss and they were like, what the fuck? What the fuck is this little bag of piss? Just like, they just like, oh, look what we got here. Yeah, a little pisser. Yeah, you know, I, I, I, what's the matter though? You couldn't squeeze anything out. I, I had peed right before I left the house. Frank, I know I, it was, it was like a clear, and by the time I realized it was too late to like, go and drink water because, you know, like I wasn't going to do much at that point, and my weight was like two minutes. So I had to just give them all I had, which wasn't much. Had you, had you get there? You drove? Yes. So didn't you just have piss bottles in the car? You can't just dump old piss in the car. First of all, I am, I am so far. I am like, really good at not pissing in this car. I am like, really, really, really doing well. And if I did, you think I'm just going to be like, it should be like, hold on, let me go to my reserve. Yeah, you know, I feel like, if that's not enough, I got a trunk full of this stuff. But that's also not going to give me an accurate reading of what a good, like what they're probably looking for. Right. If it's like, oh, this is from four weeks ago. Like, four weeks? Yeah. Well, I don't have four-week old piss in my car. Yeah, that's how right. Let me think that clear. This is three-year-old piss, Frank. I don't, I don't, I don't. But you piss in your car more recently than I have. That's true. That's, I don't know how, if it's more recently, we, you know. No, it absolutely is more recently. He could be more recently. I think it's more recently. I would be very forthcoming. I can't tell you the last one I pissed in that car. How was the color on it? Solid. Solid, solid yellow? No, like it was, it was a slightly darker than yellow. A dirty blonde? No, I would say like a, like a, like an Arnold Palmer. Not that Arnold, no, no, no, no, that's a little. Were you bleeding? No, no, no, no, no, that's a little too dark. Like a lemonade dish, but like a lot of water mixed in. If you had dropped like a single drop of iced tea and a lemonade, because they say too clear is not good, apparently. Oh, lemonade, okay, yeah, yeah. So like look at a lemonade, but not cloudy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I got you, I got you. You know what, it was a hydrated pee. It was, I, I think I'm doing okay. So I would rather have that because there was a time that, this wasn't the last time I gave a year in sample, but it was the time before that. I gave a year in sample and man, you pissed. I, I mean, I peed in it and like there was enough in there. But boy, oh boy. Was it, it was brown? It was like no brown. I mean, people pissed brown. I know, but they're like, I mean, this was just like, it was very, very, like a skiddle yellow. And I was like, damn, I'm dehydrated. I'm not even kidding, I've pissed that color before of like the green screen I have. Well, I remember when I was in, oh, you're drinking just Mountain Dew. No, no, no, no, no, when I was in college, I, uh, it's called something else. No, I was not drugs. I mean, maybe, uh, I was taking, uh, like workout supplement pills. And, uh, I pissed like neon green and I was worried. But I read the thing and it's like, that's normal. It's just excess vitamins and stuff. I was taking like, like Arnold classic. What? You were taking bodybuilding supplements? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm 21 at the time. Like, if I'm ever going to do some stupid, that's the time. So you're pissing electric green. Basically, yeah. Oh, wow. And that would have terribly so giggly about over there. It's funny. Did you pretend you were like, Shrek or the Hulk or something? No, you know what? No, I didn't. I probably should have though. What is your reaction when that comes out of you immediately? The first two or three times, I was just like, - Hold on, two. - What? How many times did you pee in there? That lasted a long time? - I mean, there's like a 30 day supply of the workout supplements. - Oh, oh. - Okay, damn, that's terrifying. I don't know. - I got head and shoulders in there once. - Bro, I don't know where that story was going. - I was like, I got head and shoulders. And then I'm like, also what? - Wait, you, what? - In where? - Oh, in your shoulder? - Why do you have head and shoulders? Are you washing your pubes? - Well, like it's-- - You got dangerous feet, dick, just ran-- - What's going on, dude? (laughing) Just ran down, I got in there. - Ran down and got, oh, because he's got such a big hole because it goes with his big, old, big old wang. - Yeah, exactly, I mean, you need a big enough hole to let the p-ex at that big old head. - Yeah, and this guy's running through with a queso burrito in his pants. - So you're saying you put head and shoulders on your head and it ran down your body and got into your pee hole? - Well, it was probably just while I was scrubbing I got this. - I'll say this. - And then it burnt. - I will say this, if any soap is getting in my pee hole, one of the top ones that I don't want to happen is head and shoulders, that shit is strong. - Dude, yeah, when it's on your head, it's like a icy hot. - And it burnt, it burnt for like two days while I was pan. - You know what days? - You know, I got freaked out. Have you ever heard of the Dr. Bronner's soap? They're like, this is like the pure castille soap, and they have different flavor, flavor, so sense and shit like that. - I'm exiting that, no. - It's like, I'm shocked, it's a very famous, it comes in a really recognizable bottle. It has like, it looks like the fucking entirety of the Bibles written on this bottle. - Okay. - It's like super runny, and the first time I use it, my dad got the peppermint one, and I like used it everywhere. Brother, it was like, I had just fucking face fucked, a snowman, like my shit was ice cold. - I weiner? - Brother, like, like it's like someone, like you just like put your dick and balls in the freezer and then put them back on. - That sounds kind of nice. - Then I'm shocked you don't have it. - On a hot summer day. - Pull up the soap, you'll know what I'm talking about. They have like different sense and shit like that. - What was the name? - Dr. Bronners, like the fucking peppermint one will just, it'll burn the hair out of your nostrils. - Dr. Bronners. - Yeah, there it is. - Let me tell you. - I've never seen this. - It looks like you clean carpets, wasn't it? - I mean, it's like on the bottle. - It looks like an under the sink type of thing. - No, no, no, it's used as body wash. - That soap, it comes like that. - Oh, it's magic. - Like you can use it as like table cleaner, you can use it as laundry detergent. Like you can use it for a taut of shit, you just need to dilute it. - This is too much for soap. - I mean. - I'm not diluting it. - They also make the bars, brother. - This is, wait, so you can use the same soap for your balls that you can for your floor? - Yes. - It's an 18 and one soap. - Yes, dude, I'm serious. - 18 and one soap. - How is there 18 things that even clean? - Yo, this shit, see? This shit's got it. She knows. - Can you pull up the 18? - She's probably got the coldest tits on the planet. - Yes. - Oh, the peppermint one? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'll look up, what you guys can go on. I'll look up what the 18 things you could use for - I need to know. - I need to know. - I could think of body counter floor. - What do we talk about? - It's like, you can like, like sprinkle it on your fucking, your car. Like you can use it as like, in the toilet cleaner. Like it's, bro, it's super intense. - And it's fucking crazy, what's that, what's the problem? - I don't know, they make this shit. I don't fucking make it. - That's insane, dude. I've never heard of this before in my life. - But I'm cleaning and I'm just like, yo, this is crazy, dude. - I mean, it's just like, let your body up, like a Christmas tree. - Yo, I'm not kidding. It felt like I was standing butt naked in Antarctica. - Did you feel like super clean when you got out? - I felt like I was the cleanest since I had come straight out the womb. - Wow, yeah. - Like I've never in my life been that clean and I never will ever again. - That sounds like nice. I kind of like that feeling. 'Cause like, I've used head and shoulders before and then your head is just like, it feels like there's steam coming off of me. - It's called head and shoulders because it feels like your head and your shoulders are one. - Yeah, yeah. - Like, kinda numb. - They're all numb. - They're all of it is numb. It fucking runs down before it gets to his dick. It runs down your shoulders and it just feels-- - I don't know how that got in your peels. This is one life. - Yeah, also just like pure just gravity. Like, it happens. - Were you just like showering with a boner? - Yeah, is your pee, is your pee whole face hang up? - Yeah. - It was just like while I was scrubbing everything and I guess I got brushes. - Oh, I know it does. - You were scrubbing and you were scrubbing. - You know, everyone's having a good time. - Do you wanna hear the 18 things? (laughing) - We're gonna have to work. - Where the hell did that come from? What even was it? - I don't even know. - Oh, that's what you were doing earlier. Before we started, he was like, oh up. (laughing) Before we started, he was like, oh, I just gotta like fix myself. Whatever, and I was like, you get over there, like what are you doing? So you had that stroke yourself bit for like, he held on to it for 15 minutes. (laughing) - What is that? - Yeah, right. - I don't know, he's found it in the garbage over there and I decided it'd be funny. - What, where is this coming from? (laughing) - It's coming out of your back. (laughing) I thought I'd do it some prop comedy would be funny. Some prop comedy. Oh my God, he really enjoyed that. I don't even know what that's from. Are you crying? I was doing some desk cleaning, I threw that out. I guess, did you go through my garbage? It was right there, it was over there in the garbage. - Yeah. - So you walk around this place and you saw a piece of garbage and you're like, I have an idea. - It's just phallic enough to look like a weiner. - Yeah. - You know? - Yeah. - And God Almighty, I'm fucking crying. (laughing) - Loves it. - Did you find the 18 things? - I found something, yeah. - Is there anything strange? - Well, it could be used, so Frankie's soap that he uses as a child. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Oh, he's an adult. - I still use it now. - Right. - You still have that? - Can be used for face, body, hair, bath, shaving, teeth, feet, congestion, dishes. Hold up, back up, teeth. (laughing) - Soap for your teeth. - I mean. - Maybe mouth just, yeah, I can't use it. - Wait, you're your speed running this. - Oh, sorry. - So start from teeth. - Well, I was trying to get-- - Start from the beginning. - I'm trying to do the normal things first. - Start from the beginning. - Face, body, hair. - Yeah. - The bath. - What is the bath? - Maybe it's a bubble bath. - It makes bubble, it could make a bubble. - Okay. - Shaving. - Shaving. - It's like maybe like an aftershave. - Mm-hmm. - And soap? - I don't know. - Teeth. - Teeth. Teeth is insane. I'm gonna brush my teeth with soap teeth. - Feet, congestion. - Concession. - Not dude, I'll tell ya. You put a rub a little bit of that under your nose. You'll breathe fucking better than you ever had. - Shoot this thing, it's my side. - And then it goes, dishes, the laundry. - The laundry. - And then it just goes, your floors, general cleaning of the house, windows. - Yeah, dude. - I can clean my windows and my teeth simultaneously. - Your windows and your asshole, the two cleanest parts of the fucking house. - Then it goes toilets. You can clean produce, dogs, plants. - Dogs. - And it could keep away ants. - It can keep away ants. - Yo, what is going on with this thing? (laughing) This is an outrageous marketing scene. - Yo, I mean, no, dude, it's like magic. - It's people, wait ants. - Yo, I'm not kidding, it's one of the things. - I'm not kidding, some of the shit. I like one day, you know when you don't go to the bathroom and you don't have, when you go to the bathroom, you don't have your phone on you and you just like, read whatever is in like arm's reach. I read the bottle and it's like, this is miracle from God's soap that could do anything. - Oh, so they're humble. - Are you fucking kidding me? - No, it's, this fucking soap will do everything. - Yo, I mean you teeth, suck you teeth. Keep away the roaches, you can put in your mattress, you can sleep on it, you can joke off with it, you can eat it, it tastes good. - I'm not kidding. If you jerk off with this thing, you would burn the fucking skin off your body. - That's great, does it have any other sense? - Yes, so there's like lavender. There's like, I think a eucalyptus one. - Which one are you currently using? - The last one, we haven't used it in like a couple. We've right now and we haven't gotten a new one yet, but the lavender one is fucking good. - I believe the peppermint one specifically is probably for ants 'cause I know ants hate peppermint. Like, anti-ant spray is peppermint sprays. I know that. - I didn't know that. - So okay, why don't you get out of here? We're just gonna dump this on you. You filthy little, and make sure it doesn't get in your p-hole. - Yeah, please. - I do, they have, I'm telling you right now. - That's insane. - I'm sure, Nicole probably knows about it because she, I know she's very like, how conscious and like, you know, stuff like that, that is something that you should have in your home. - Burr, I'll tell you this right now. Love her to death, but if she brought this home and was like, and it replaced our toothpaste, I'd be like, what are you doing? - I didn't know the tooth one. I might try it. I might try it, why not? - Please, please brush your teeth with whatever. I mean, the magic soap. - I mean, I don't know how you could. What would you, like, mix it in with your toothpaste? - Maybe it's just a mouthwash, maybe? - But it's not, it's very thin. Like, it's very, like, it's non-viscous. So, like, it's like water. - Really? - Yeah, so you're, it's not like a gel soap. - Okay. - It's just like pure fucking soap. - It comes out like water. - Yeah, dude. Should we fucking pull up a video of this shit? - I'll take a word for it. - Pull up a video of soap. (laughing) - I can take your word for it. - But that's okay, so maybe you just, you just soak it. - But they say dilute, like if you were to like sit in it, I'm sure it probably wouldn't be very good for your skin. You'd get some form of irritation. - I mean, you don't have to sit, well, I'm not saying sit in the thing. - But also like, I'm sure whatever you're cleaning or using it for, it's the different levels of dilution. Like you put like a little bit into your laundry. (laughing) A lot of people swear by that stuff because it's a more natural, like detergent soap cleaner than like if you go and buy no offense to fucking big laundry detergent. But like, what is the blue goop? - Yeah, I have no idea. I mean, I am open to the idea that this works. It's just funny. - Yeah. - It's like teeth and dogs being on the same list as windows. - Like, and your own face and your butthole. - It's like outrageous. - And it keeps away insects and pests. - Right, yeah. - I mean, it's not cheap. Like that bottle right there is probably like-- - It's at 18 bucks. - It's not cheap. - That's a lot. - But you don't need a lot. Like that bottle will last you like two, three months. - Yeah, they can take out a whole ant colony. - Bro, that'll fucking do everything you want. If you, spring cleaning in a single bottle. - You know the jokes that people make of, oh, Guy, shampoo, 13 and one. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You manage to find an 18 and one. - 18 goes out of the bathroom. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Isn't that cool? - Yeah. - That's something. - It is, it's not nothing. - Well, the ones that you're referencing is like, it's here, it's shampoo, conditioner, body wash, aftershave, and fucking, who knows what else in one. - Even though it's funny, I don't know if you guys did this when you were younger, but when I was super young, my parents would be like, all right, you gotta go take a shower. So I would take a shower. And then I would come down, and then my dad would be like, did you use soap? - And I didn't, but I would lie. - Oh, I said, oh, I use shampoo. And he's like, what? - Oh, you would shower without bathing yourself properly. - Like, I would use soap. - I vaguely remember that, but I could, I don't know if that's still a thing. - I don't know why, but I just like wouldn't use soap. Not all the time, but every time I wouldn't use soap. - So every time I would come down, my dad would be like, did you use soap? And I would be like, oh no, I don't know. - Well, I'll tell you this. - And then you'd be like, get back upstairs and go take a shower. Or I would lie, and I'd be like, oh, I use shampoo, which I also didn't do. - So you just walked in, got wet and walked out. - Yeah, this is when I was like super young, but I remember it, so I must have been like. - I imagine that still does something, though. Like, you wash away the stinky. - The sins of the day. - Maybe you never washed away your something, and that's why you don't stink under the armpits. - Maybe, it's not that I never did. - That's a great point, but I was like, it was, I was very young, like I was like under 10, while this was happening. - Well, first of all, that's when kids are like fucking filthy, like rolling around in the fucking, literally like in the dirt and shit. - Yeah, that's when you probably need a bath or a shower the most. - There is like, kids are deathly afraid of like soap and shit like that, because it's about getting it, once you get in your eyes once, you're like terrified. - Oh, it's the devil. - You know? - What age do you like take a bath with your siblings? - Young. - Like, because I like remember, I have like a memory of it. - Yeah, yeah, I recently went through a bunch of family pictures and they were pictures there, and I said like, we didn't need to take a picture of this. (laughing) - But like, do you know what age, like four? - Um, I would say like four and under, I think around five, it gets a little, like you gotta start separate. - Yeah, like, it gets a little weird. - Yeah, but I have a memory of like, I think I told the story before, but like, I was in the bath with Keith, and he laughed in a giant blood clog, came out of his nose, like it was just like this, and I was like, and I think we all screamed. - Yeah, I think that kids are just afraid of soap, because of like the thought of it getting in the right, and there was so much when we were kids, soap like, marketed at us as like tear-free, you know? Like, remember the ones that came in like, it was like the Lori L, the fish? - Yeah. - You know, and then they had the ones, I never remember what they were called, but they were like bars of soap that were in like, a mesh pocket. - Yes! - I forgot those. - I forgot what they were called. - Oh, that was a good one. They're tear-free, I think they still, they still probably do. - Bro, I love the like Johnson and Johnson, like gold baby shampoo is the best smelling, one of the best smells on the planet. - Yeah, I don't know that one. - I got head and shoulders in my eyes, yeah. - See, you have to stop with the pausing. - I got head and shoulders in my eyes yesterday, that hurt. - Are you head and shouldering every day? - I guess it's just inside of me. - What? - He's asking if you haven't said it every day. - You haven't said it every time. - It's episode that you can't, like, that isn't sexual. - Oh, yeah, that's a good point. - You use head and shoulders every day? - A lot, yeah. - I mean, you probably should. - You should did. - No, you're not supposed to, but I do. - No, you're supposed to use it very regularly. I'd like sat through like a presentation from them once. - You sat through a presentation of head and shoulders? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He did it too, he paused a little bit after head. - Did I? - Yeah, you did. - Yeah, 'cause I was like, "I wasn't at the presentation." - I did a deal with them, and they were just like, it was like at a football game. It was at a Giants game, and they were just like, our head and shoulders guys here. So, we're gonna like teach you guys about it, and it was honestly like insightful. Like, I can't say anything bad about it. - I thought it was like a, not medical grade, but it's like above shampoo. - To my life, if you're dealing with dandruff, use this. - Well, to my understanding, it's actually meant to be more, and I should probably contact my head and shoulders connect and see if they can give us more accurate info. But like, it's meant to be more preventative than it is to like deal with it. So like, they say that you're supposed to use it regularly because it's like, it kills a certain bacteria that creates dandruff on your scalp or something like that. I thought it was interesting, you know? - I'll throw it on every now and again. - If I don't use it for, like, if I use different shampoo for a few days, like, I'll get dandruff bad back. - But do you shampoo and conditioner? Like, do you condition your hair? - I don't condition. - Well, I think that's a problem. - I don't, I don't-- - It makes my hair flat. - Well, first of all, a conditioner is not supposed to be used on the whole head. It's only supposed to be used on your hair. - End of the hair. - But that's not where dandruff comes from. Dandruff comes from the scalp. - I know, but if I'm assuming that if you have like dry hair that has some sort of effect, but the, I don't think the hair matters. It's the scalp that's connected to the scalp. - Yeah, but like, when you're doing, to my understanding, when you're doing like, my hair's not long enough right now, but like, the conditioner is supposed to be used on like the outer part of the hair in theory. It's not really supposed to get on your scalp. - Well, I'm saying like, but if you don't condition your hair, right, and it gets a little dry, or if you have that type of hair that does get dry, I would think that the thing that is coming out of your head would have some sort of effect on the moisture of, I don't know. - No, but the, we're all guessing the issue of dandruff is at the base of your hair, like on your scalp. So if you're conditioning your hair, you're not attacking the issue. - No, I understand what you're saying. I mean, I just, I just don't know. - Is it bad? I didn't know that conditioner was only for the tips. - I didn't, I learned that late in life too. - I don't know that that's like a gigantic issue. - Oh, okay. - I mean, I don't know. - I learned that late in life as well. - I have not recently, before I was younger, I would condition my blemishes. - Hell yeah. - Yeah. - Just 'cause. - Oh yeah, now we're getting somewhere. - I was like, I would just condition these. - Let's get these more. - Can you show us how you would do it? - No. - I would just be like, you know what? I'll just like get these things going so they're nice and silky smooth. But we do have some sponsors. - Oh, we're going from silky smooth pumes to our sponsors. - Yes, nice. - We do have some, the first one being Zock-Dock. (laughing) So Zock-Dock is a free app or website that helps you find and book high quality network doctors. So you can find someone that you love, okay? Before they response her on the show, I used to use Zock-Dock. I mean, I still use them. If I had to go to the dermatologist and I plug in my health insurance and then I get a list of doctors in my area, which ones are closest to me and what their rating is, their patient reviewed out of five. And what their next available appointments are. I was able to get appointment that afternoon at that time. But sometimes it's usually within 48 hours that you can get an appointment. So it's very helpful in finding doctors in your area that take your insurance. So it's very helpful for that. So don't put off any of your doctor's appointments anymore. You know, for whatever you need, if you want a primary care physician or you want a dermatologist or some sort of specialist, you can do that. But yeah, just go to Zock-Dock.com/Basement to get started and find an instantly book, a doctor you love today. That's z-o-c-d-o-c.com/Basement, all right? Zock-Dock.com/Basement, go get to it, folks. And we also have WayFair, okay? WayFair, they make furniture. They have every style, every outdoor space, whether your vibe is like modern or coastal or farmhouse or whatever else these things are. They have a bunch of furniture, affordable stuff too, that is within budget. And they have, you know, they, they, they, whatever your budget is, they have furniture for you is what I'm trying to say. But yeah, they have delivery that you can trust over 20 million verified five star reviews. But yeah, so they have everything and also the summer's coming around. So if you need some more, you know, new patio furniture or indoor furniture or, you know, whatever you need, they got it. So you can get prep for patio season for way less, head to WayFair.com right now to shop all things home, that's WayFair spelled W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Yeah, every style, every home. Get to it. WayFair. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Listen, I'm not here to mess around right now. Okay. I'm strictly business Frank. You wanted business Frank. You got business Frank. Let me take off my Frank hat and put on my business hat. Listen, I don't know if you want more of us in your life. I hope you do because we love having you in our life. The love and support you've given us has been overwhelming and we appreciate it. And one of the best ways to love and support us was support really. The love you can do on your own time. You go over, check out. It's our exclusive stuff. We got over there. You sign up for that first here. You get these weekly episodes, one whole week in advance. Seven whole days. So when you're scrolling on social media and you say, "Whoa, that's a clip. What episode is that from?" And someone's like, "Oh, it's Patreon exclusive." You can know that. You can see that if you're on that first tier or that second tier. Not only do you get the benefits of that first tier, but then you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. And I'll tell you right now, they get crazy. Okay. On the last one, Ant was bending over the table and we were spanking him with stuff. It was kind of all out of control. I'm kidding. We didn't do that. He asked us not to put that in the episode. So go check it out. You guys have been unbelievably overwhelmingly supportive and we are so lucky and so appreciative. And we want to keep giving you more of what you guys like, which according to you is us. So we want to give that to you. So go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. And if you want to save yourself some money while you're doing it, go check it out on a web browser. If you use the app, whether it be from the Google Play Store or from the, you know, app store on iPhones, they're going to take some extra money from you just because they got to pay the lizard tech overlords. So go on a web browser, go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. You'll save yourself some money if you want to sign up. And you know, Mother's Day is coming up, Father's Day is coming up. Graduations are coming up. There's, you know, you can give it as a gift as well. So patreon.com slash the basement yard. Thank you so much. Let's keep rocking and rolling. Yeah. Well, it's wrong with that. I don't know. You don't like to rock and or roll? It's kind of a, where does rock and roll? Like I get the rock. No, but why is that what they call the music, but like yeah, I mean, because rock and roll to it. Where's the rolling like you roll on the floor? Like they were used to that music came along and they used to like trip to it. I guess. So they would be like, oh, and then they'd like fall over themselves. You know what? What dance move? Why people love? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I fucking, I don't hate it. Boomers love that. I don't hate it. Well, because the boomers were like, you know, in their like 30s or 20s in the 70s. And that's when that was big because they would be like this and then every now and then they throw in a, yeah, oh my God. My mom's a big pointer. She likes the point. She's always like, there is a point that I one time, I one time, I one time came across a TikTok and it's like someone their whole account is just dedicated to like dancing like a middle-aged white woman at a party. Yeah. And it's just that. It's just like, you know, just all that while they have a, yeah. Yes. Who taught white boomer women in America to dance with pointing? So when they clap at weddings, I've noticed that that generation, they clap, but the fingers are out. So it's like the Cole Kidman. Do you remember her clapping? Yeah, she's got hands like the Grinch brother. She clapped and her fingers were behind our ears. I was like, yeah, pull, see if you could find that clip. She clapped and it was like, it was like the Grinch's fingers, you know what I'm talking about. Like they curl backwards or something. She's like double triple jointed. Yeah. And like that was also like how they like danced suggestively in like the 70s. They'd be like, and then they do the point at themselves, come over here, point at you, point at me and you in here. Have you ever, have you ever, you know in movies where there's that moment where you're kind of like at a place, then you lock eyes with someone to close the room and then everything kind of like gets out of the way and then you make your way over. Have you ever done that in real life? I mean, I think I've done it with Becca, but like not like to the point where it's like it's no one and I just like, yeah, it's not a person you know. It's just a person. No, I when we were like of like dancing club age, club age, like it was, I was always like, do you want to dance? I always made it a specific point to ask. Well, that's what I mean. Like if you saw someone and you'd be like, oh, and then you walk over and then you kind of ask. Like, you get here and then you're in it already? No, no, no, I'm saying you're in a place, right? And you see this girl across and you guys kind of make eye contact and then you're like, you're looking and it's like, oh, we are staring at each other. So it's like, I'm going to go over there. And then like, it feels like everyone's kind of moving out the way and then you make your way over and you're like, oh, like you're in some Truman show shit. Like everyone's just like, all right, they've made contact. Everyone back up. Something like that. I've looked at happens in movies. The only time I think it was ever like when I danced with that old broad at the fucking wedding I went to. There's got to be a better way to say that. Yeah. Pull it. I don't know. If this is real and not edited, these are long fingers. This has to. I think it is real because when it happened at first, everyone was just like, oh, my God. Bro, her hands, like, it looks like she's clapping. Like it looks like two Venn diagrams are meeting in the middle. Dude, I don't even, I don't even think I could do. Yeah. She's like, it looks like the zodiac sign for Pisces. Yes. It looks like when you, like, those like Newton balls on the string or like hitting each other. Listen, no, no disrespect to Nicole Kidman. But if that's real, you got long fingers. Also the Instagram handle. Oh, I didn't bet that. There are gay animals. You know that, right? Yes. Penguins are gay. Not all of them. Not all. I'm not saying all of them. It's about the penguin, the lone penguin. We talked about it on this episode. Oh, that was here. Yeah. We talked about it. Yeah. You've heard this. No. Bro, you know the lone penguin. Bro, there were long, lone. There was like at the zoo. I think it was an australia or somewhere. There was no. No, it wasn't zoo. Wait. What are you talking about? Like the gay. No, that's not what I'm talking about. Oh, wait. Nothing gay. Nothing gay. Oh, mine had gay penguins. No, no, no. I know the gay. Yeah, the gay one. I'm sorry, I'm gay penguin. Type in a. Penguin walking away. Just do that. lone penguin walking away. Just penguin walking away. Walking to mountain. Yeah, yeah. Do that, do that, do that, do that. Where'd you see mountain? I mean, you got it back up. Are you type like here? I'm a thousand years old. It's over there. It's over there. Yeah. This one? What do you need? A Werner Herzog one? That's going to blow the fucking. I mean, let's not play the audio here. Just go to the image. Now it's fine. It's a penguin and he has walking away. So this is. So all the way to the right. You see all the way to the right? Click that. So that. I mean, I guess he's not. These are all like photos. But there's a video of this. Of a penguin who's just taken off for the mountains. Just doing its thing. Right. Doesn't give a fart. And look, look, look. Where's that Japan? He like. I don't know. But he broke away from the pack and he was just going for it. And then people turned it into this thing that's like. The penguin obviously is never going to survive without the colony if he goes for the mountains. But he just like desperately. Oh, so they're using it as like motivation? Like chase your dreams. Something like that. And it's like, but why? And like all this stuff and. And you know, it's supposed. The interpretation is this very motivational. Nihilist. Nihilist? I don't know if that word means. But then. So I watched a video on this and it was so moving and the music was just like. Incredibly motivating and all this stuff. And the. The explanation and the interpretation of what was happening was like, you know. A moving and then. See, I just. In the comments. There was someone being like. Yeah. Um, what actually is happening is that there's something going on in this penguin's brain. And it's like basically going off to like. You know what I'm saying? Oh, no. Like not that it's going to go. I was just thinking. I was looking at it, it was just like. It's running like the kids from weapons, you know? Well, that's how they kind of run. I guess. Penguins are so cute. Penguins are cute. We were talking about the. We were referencing the one where it was like a story of like. Two male penguins got together and they were like. They're soulmates and stuff like that. And then one of them died. And like the penguin like. Crew. Like in solidarity for this morning gay penguin. Like sang a song for it. It's beautiful. It is pretty. Pretty touching. You know, penguins day like. Take rocks. Yeah. In front of the female. Well, penguins are one of the few animals that like mate for life. It's like penguins, lobsters. Mate for life. Yeah. Like they. What does that mean? Like they're like. Yo, this is my. Oh, oh. This is my penguin lady. Oh, they're loyal, you mean? They're monogamous. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think lobsters are like that too, you know? - Really? - Why would, I don't fucking make up the rules here? - The fuck you and that monogamous? - I don't know why. - I don't know. - I mean, look at lions, lions will go in, fuck someone and be like, I'm gonna, everyone here is getting it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know? - I think gorillas are like that too. - It's like, yeah, I'm the biggest one. I beat up everyone else, so everyone-- - Yeah, and then I was at the zoo, and I read a thing that was just like, if a fucking like new lion comes into the pack, they'll like, if there are any cubs, they'll fight the head of the pack or pride, or whatever they're called, fuck them up, kill them, and then if they had any cubs, they'll take them out too. - And it's like, yeah, this is fucking, this is some crazy shit, dude. - Lobsters do not mate for life. (laughing) - Really? - No, they do serial monogamy, where it's like kind of like the lions, where there's a bunch of females, and they-- - Oh, oh, so he's like, yo, I get my eight, but I'll keep it. - Oh, so he's like, Mormon-wives shit. - Sure. - Like sister-wives in the shit. - But yeah, it's shit. - Because I remember something like, they lay so many eggs, and they have to either way. - I mean, no, no, no, I'm not, I am-- That was what was like a thing. Like, you've never heard like people on like, remember like those old like Tumblr-coded things, where it's just like, you're my lobster, because lobsters are, they mate for life, or some shit. I guess I'm a fucking idiot, and I just bought into it. - I'll tell you what, you know what? Termites, termites mate for life. - Yeah, they can go and die. - Isn't that surprising? - Termites can go and fucking die. I know they're important to like the ecosystem. - I don't think they are. - Bro, so, hold on. - They definitely are, because-- - I just found this penguin thing, right? Listen to the song. So it's just like that, right? And then this is what the caption is. It says, in 2007, - Filmed alone penguin breaking away from his colony, instead of heading to the seed of feed, he turned toward the interior of Antarctica, a 70 kilometer death march towards the mountains. Science calls this disoriented. Biology calls it a mistake, but perhaps, this is the same mistake that drove our ancestors out of the caves. The urge to discover is a dangerous one. It defies the logic of survival. It demands that you leave the safety of the crowd to pursue a mountain that only you can see. Civilization wasn't built by those who stayed at the feeding grounds. It was built by those who asked, "What is over there?" Regardless of the cost. If you feel the pull of the unknown, you aren't broken. You were just one of the few heading for the mountains. - You were having a very self-reflective day that day? - Why? - I mean, I could see you just being like, thinking back on Santa Gato studios, and you know, everything, and like, I'm the penguin. - No, no. I just think that's like a-- That's not a bad thing. I mean, it does apply to your life. You did do that. - I kind of just think it was a dumb penguin, maybe. - But also-- - Well, that's what the comments eventually went to, which it was just funny, the comedy in it is that you read that. You're like, "Wow, that's so cool." And then you hit the comments. And someone's like, "While that explanation is poetic, science suggests the penguin isn't actually trying to end its life, but its internal GPS is basically broken." This happens because of brain injuries, sickness, or parasites that mess with their navigation. The penguin thinks it's headed towards the water, but its broken compass is actually leading it the wrong way. And its instincts are too stubborn to turn back. - Yeah, I mean, it's also like-- - Just let it go. - I mean, it's also-- It helps like you reading it doesn't do it, Justice, when you have fucking German-ass Werner Herzog. And he's just like, "This penguin is going to discover." - You know, like, that shit sounds cool, but-- - Yeah. - It's kind of like, you remember the angler fish, where they're like, "Oh, it never saw a light." And it desperately wanted to see light. You don't remember that? - No. - We talked about-- - The little one. - And it was just-- - But that has like the light? - I know what you're talking about. - Oh, and you didn't see it? - Oh, is that like the evolutionary, like, evolutionary explanation for it. Like, it didn't see light, so it wanted to, so it made its own light. - Sometime like, I don't know, but-- - It was like, all this thing lived in the dark and it just wanted to see the light before it died, 'cause it died. But there's a comment, it's good. - It's a comment. - And it's an AI photo of the penguin walking with Jesus, and it says, "He was not alone." (laughing) - I don't know, it's just funny. - I mean-- - He was not alone. God walked with that penguin that had the parasite and this had-- - No, Jesus. - That's what it meant. - This guy doesn't even know his own hierarchy of deities. - People are getting deep in the comments. One person posted a photo of a random person looking at the stars, and it said, "Shaggle left. "Where nothing is right, or right. "Where nothing is left." - Damn, honestly, that kind of hits. That kind of fucking hits. - Whoa! - I'm not gonna-- - What was it? - I go left, where nothing is right, or go right. Where nothing is left. - I have to, once a week, if not once, every other week, my TikTok algorithm turns into that, where it's all just emotional, motivating. A lot of it is also letters to my wife, and it's just like, "You are my home," and stuff like that. So I need to, I'll do that, and then I'll reset it back to the sopranos, or people. - Why? - Because I get too emotional with that stuff. Like I said, I think I said recently on the show, like it was like, for a while, it was videos of like, people giving little kids baseballs at baseball games. - Yeah, yeah. - And like, that shit, fucking, it punches me in the chest. So like, I have to like, come back down and just be like, all right, this can't be like, sappy stuff. I need to laugh every now and then, because if I just get sad and cry, it's not gonna be good for me. - You know, you wanna hear something cute that I'm like, this is such a great tradition, but like, Jill, when he goes to hockey games, he'll immediately, before we go to the seats, he goes to the store, and he buys a puck, and he gives it to a kid. That he just sees a kid, and he gives him, like, a little kid, I give him a puck. - Yeah, dude. - And so, now, but like, he kind of like, it has included us in that. So he'll go and get three pucks for like me and S-bone, we just give him out to kids. - Dude, when I, I know, like I said this, when I went to the Pokemon card show, like, I was talking to my brothers, and I found myself, I wasn't getting emotional, but like, I was getting worked up. Also, I had a drink or two. And I was saying, like- - He was fresh off that peppermint shampoo. - Yeah, peppermint shampoo, and a fuckin' paste. - And like, like, two Guinness. - No, I said like, stuff like that, like, I have like issues with like, the whole like Pokemon card collecting it, like, world right now, because it is in theory, as it is bigger now than it ever has been, it is kind of gatekeeping, it's fandom. Like, you're putting these cool cards that are meant to be, for kids, and accessible, and there are hundreds, if not millions of dollars, hundreds of thousands of dollars, and shit like that, like, so like what my brothers and I did is we bought packs, and we were going around, and like, we saw like, there were like two kids sitting on the floor, and they were having fun, like, looking at their binders, and shit like that, and we gave it to like, so shit like that with the pucks. Bro, that fuckin' gets me, man. Like, I'm not even kidding, it gets me emotional, because it's this stuff, like, you are in theory, something that was emotional, and happy, and brought you joy. You're just trying to give that to somebody else. Like, in that moment, it's not about what you're giving them, it's about the memory and the feeling, and that's fuckin' incredible. Especially when I was like, young, I mean, I would barely go to games, but if I caught a foul ball, dude, that would be like the highlight of my life. Dude, have you ever caught, oh, you have caught a ball? I've caught home runs. I know, so I caught two balls in one game that I remember. Maybe there were other ones that I don't, but two in one game. Two in one game. So we were sitting, it was Yankees at the time, Indians, and I was sitting behind the bullpen, and we, you know, like the kids are leaning over the bullpen, and Mary on a Rivera threw a ball up, and I rolled around and I grabbed it, and I still to this day have it, and I couldn't believe it, bro. I was, I was-- - And most, right, you were a ball? - Mo gave me a ball. Also, you got me that mobile, that's cool. Because he held that, you know what I mean? - Yeah. - And then at the end of the game, the game ended with a pop out to Center Field, Johnny Damon caught it, and he turned around and he threw it, and brother, I was looking at this as a person, next to me talking to him, and it landed in my lap. - In my fucking lap, and I-- - And I ran the ball? - Yo, and I gave it to our, not like a friend friend, but like we know him through like friends and stuff like that. The neighborhood gave it to his little brother, I was like a, you can have this. - Yeah. - I was told a week later he like drew on it and ripped it up and shit like that. (laughing) - So I was-- - Ripped up on baseball, what is he in, like a-- - I mean, just basically like playing catch with it and shit like that on the pavement, you know? - No more. - But yeah, so like that was fucking cool. - What was the moral of that story? (laughing) - Was it-- - It was against what I was saying in my current-- (laughing) - But like at the time, I was just like-- - Don't give him kids. - Yeah, at that age, I was like, I'm the little kid here. - Give it to me. - Right. - You know? - But, and then I got one when we went to the Padre's game. - That's all right. - I was all I wanted was a ball. - Oh yeah. (laughing) - At the Padre's game, they would get the balls afterwards and then the kid would just like sit with them or whatever and Frank's like, I'm gonna try and get a ball. He's wearing a bucket hat. He has a blue tongue because he just ate an ungodly amount of cotton candy. I was like, I think they're gonna give you one. (laughing) Well no, because it's a different thing now. If you go to any like baseball game, every one of those balls, they're tagged. - They're tagged and they're sold in the store. And then you can scan a QR code and it'll tell you all the pitches it's used for what happened within Yada Yada. - Oh, that's kind of cool. - Yeah. And so like, I thought like, there's no way they're gonna give me a ball. Now because they're just gonna lose money. Yeah, I got the ball brother. Hey, you got to ask and you remember what I did with that ball Nope, you don't remember no kept it. It's mine. No little kids getting that ball. Oh, yeah I was like I feel like you kept it, but I don't know if you did something. Did you do you get them like framed? You just have them. Yeah, mm-hmm. It might well that one is in a bin. I still have my first pitch ball. Oh Yeah, I still have that. Yeah, I still have that from both of them from the buoy base. I mean I assume you have everything Oh, yeah anything. Yeah, I do. You must have like a random bin with like the most random stuff in it Oh, yeah, I mean we did an episode years ago Like when I first joined where we like went through our childhood items and just brought random things in yeah, but so With the tour you would take a lot of stuff. Yes, I would so with the with the with that bin Yep, if I opened it went through it what four bins four bins good Lord So if I went through these bins would there be stuff in there that I'm like what even is that yes? Yeah, like is it like a four Oh, this is the first place we ate like a fork or something. No, no, no, I didn't get to that that level. I mean I have Shirts and hoodies. Yeah, I have the you know a pair of the socks that we had I Have some stuff that some fans gave us you know There was one in particular. I know I told you this where like it was from a like an indigenous tribe at It was in like the Vancouver area. What's that called dream catcher? But it was also a ring right and I was just like I can't get rid of this because I I don't want to like Disrupt a spirit. Yeah, right. Yeah, there's some stuff I could I could bring one or two in them in and and we can go through them and talk about them if you want Mixed bins, and you got and you also have like your jars. I have jars. Yeah, yeah, I get it. I know I have of what yeah, I guess that's a good question too. I mean, what do you think is your strangest jar? Jar's for anyone listening he keeps a lot of stuff in jars So he'll collect like matchboxes. Matt. Well, yeah, matchbox is black and I anywhere we go and whether together or individually We try to get a matchbox to bring home cigar wrappers. That's a big one You could oh, there's a jar for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay Yeah, like yeah, like the ring around the I know like What what I'm not I'm not I haven't spoken on how long and sometimes there are some that I had that I just didn't keep because whatever Well, the matchbox is right. I don't mean to dissect this But the matchbox is they have like the names of the restaurant on them usually and sometimes yeah, so you could kind of like Piggy back off that and oh, I remember Scar wrappers like how do you it's more of like this is just the cigar. It's not like I wrote on them like January 44th, you know smoked it with my yeah father in love. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we talked about politics. Yeah, I didn't Yeah, no, I definitely haven't done anything like But you used to collect bottles remember that when we were in high school and we were right you very Specifically say that yes, what yeah, I think everyone did that. We had on my so like the way that like my childhood Bedroom was from like high school. It was like there was like a window sill and it was lined with empty bottles of absolute Patrons some of the grossest alcohol you could yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, yeah like a big bottle of patrol and at the end of the night We'd be like we finish this bottle everyone sign it and I would keep it and keep it in my room. Yeah, I remember those no Those were all gone. Okay, all them are gone. I think got All right, I mean could you imagine if you still have the bottles if back and I moved into a a home together and she I was just like I need to figure out where to put my bottles. Oh, I mean, I wouldn't respect you But I would I Am shocked that you got rid of them like I think it's okay to keep that like if you're storing it Well, you know how I am like I I'll keep them and then at a certain point I was just like it's not cool or funny to have a bottle of vodka from Yeah, from 2010 Yeah, you know what I mean you guys I remember the only thing that I remember you keeping was like you bought an Original for loco and had it for years That was accidental It just I found it and I was like, oh, this is an OGE and then you kept do you still have it or is it no? Do you have anything? Yeah? Not that your parents kept that you kept um, yeah, I have stuff, but like not a lot podcast, we talk I mean I told you I keep funeral cards because I'm afraid to throw them out Yes, I'm like, oh no, I'm gonna kill them. I have those. Yeah, so I can't I can't do that I've misplaced some of those I have all the Polaroids from my first apartment where everyone to take those. Oh shit Yeah, so I have all those Oh and What I remember the picture I took yeah, Frank was naked wearing a WWE belt around his waist It was lower than my waist. Let's let's put let's point that out. Yeah. Yeah, it was covering the his thing But yeah, I actually was you know, it's funny about that I have I so I have all those pictures Mm-hmm and the first time I met Becca. She was at my apartment so she's on there and I was going to put that in your like Wedding card got ya because I still have it, but I mean it's in my nightstand somewhere so I'm shit But now they're all fucked up because they were all like taped I'm so I put them on top of each other so some of them like ripped yeah, that sucks I don't know which ones are ruined, but I recently went through my brother came over a couple weeks ago and he showed up with two like a Giant storage bin and he's like oh when mom moved she I took all the pictures So these are all of our family pictures and I went through there was some of you in there I think I sent you something did I send them to you? No, you we talked about something you were like oh guess what picture I found but I forgot what it was yeah Don't remember, but there was some of you like we went to like a pre-K trip. That's what it was You were like I picked up the first picture who is in the picture. Yes. Yo. Yes Shane Gorman again. Yo, I'm not kidding. I opened the bin and I look at a picture and it's and like the only one of shame Yeah, and I I wonder if when that episode comes out because hasn't come out yet since we're recording this If he'll reach out will we make contact with the Gorman family again, I mean sisters name first of all. We're going Yeah, we're coming out of control. We're getting out of control Yeah, I'm gonna give the mom's name to yeah, they were cool as fuck, dude I remember like being like super cool with him and he was I remember crazy at times. I remember his dad was a lefty I look as if I was the first lefty that I had met my life. I was like this guy is so cool. He throws lefty. I remember like his dad looked like The like when you would picture like a musician that like grew up on the west coast. Yeah, like long wiring hair I was like curly. I don't remember curls, but like was like yeah, man You know like that's what they both looked and reminded me. I do remember one time Shane getting in so much trouble at my house That his parents took him upstairs in my mom's bathroom and made him eat soap Like I remember that vividly and I don't know what he said. Yeah, I mean, he was also like a nightmare He was a kid. He was a kid. Yeah, he was for sure He was definitely like a little nuts him and Keith were like psychos. I remember Because he lived around the block for me. Yeah, and I remember going there and they had this dog named Molly or dolly I think it was dolly. I remember and it was like a big white almost like looked like a big doodle, you know and This fucking poor dog man like, you know having to like run back and forth with Shane because he was a bit of a psychopath and like, you know What it was so weird like yeah everything we went through with O's everything we went to like it was traumatic I mean, honestly, I almost got sick. Yeah So I don't know if we said I don't know have we spoken about what happened immediately after we finished recording oh with you Yeah, yeah, hold on let me get to the ads and get to the ads Yeah, we'll talk about the trick that he did to and this is a good little Cliffhanger we're leaving people on here say to see something nasty and naughty no Okay, we have some more sponsors this being hymns. Okay, hymns is going to offer a convenient axis of range a Convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work including choose oral medication Serums and sprays for hair loss. So if you're a guy out there that has hair that is thinning or you know You have some hair loss or you want to be very preventative this could be helpful to you There's these are doctor trusted ingredients like finasteride immunoxidil. They can help further hair loss Stop further hair loss or regrow hair and it's a little less three to six months So, you know it works. 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All right, so obviously you guys at this point have seen the episode that we do at O's and we recorded that, mind blowing, whatever. I stepped away for a second just to get like some water and like figure out my life, not pass out. And I come back and Ant has his phone like this and he's in a defense position and he's over here and then he goes, he's like, all right, Ant, think of a globe, right? I don't know if you appreciate me like paraphrasing his trick. But he's like, think of a globe, spin the globe and then you put your finger on a place, what we, he's like type it into Google, right? Mental globe, by the way, there was no globe. It's like essentially just think of a place on the entire world. Yeah. And then he was like, type it into Google, but don't press send. Yeah. And then he goes, okay, delete that. Well, first he goes with they guess it and Ant's like, probably not. And he goes, all right, if you're not 100% sure, think of a different one. He goes, delete it, think of a different one. Now, Ant is, Oz and I are standing here basically. He's over an answer. And Ant is like maybe 25 feet away. He could not see my phone. And I was making sure he could not. Like he, and he could not see, he didn't touch any, he was standing here. You were over there. And then he goes, okay, and he looks at me and he grabs his whiteboard and he goes, this is the second place that you typed in, right? Yeah, and he goes, go to images. Yeah. And then he's like, look at images, look at the first image. He's like, now, now picture that. And then he starts writing on his little, once he said images, I'm like, you're caught. You literally said, you're caught. I'm like, no, you're caught, he's got you. So I had to pick a spot on the globe. I got it. He said, all right, get rid of that. I had to pick another spot on a whim and I got it. And then he told me to show you. And then I looked at it. And you looked at it again. He couldn't see anything. And then he asked me to go to images, like just the pictures of the place. And then he wrote down, well, then he goes, he goes, save the, he's like, save the place. Oh, no, he was like, when you go to images, it was the first thing you saw. He was like, pyramids, turns the thing around. He had drawn three pyramids. Yeah. And then we're like, what the fuck, how do you do that? And he goes, oh, by the way, your first one, Madagascar. Yo, we were, yo, we couldn't. I like, Ant was just, and I knew you were fucked because you went, I guess you went, okay, now hold on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're not happy. You immediately went, like, what you guys don't see about it is like, when we're not recording, he's very like, I consider you very analytical. Like you're trying to understand things and like break things down until like how they were. And you immediately went into like, hold on a second. You couldn't physically comprehend. He immediately turned into the thinker. He was like, hold on. Yeah. Yo, seriously. And yo, legit, there were comments on some of those clips that were just like, this is acting, this is stage. Not at all. If you trust us for nothing else, trust us for the fact that we, if not Joey, I would have been like, gotcha, I didn't do it. I couldn't fucking believe it. Well, I honestly had so much anxiety because I was like, this is gonna be so weird if it doesn't work. So I was so nervous the whole time that it wouldn't work. And then once he did the first trick, then I was like, what is happening, bro? I was sitting there and I really genuinely had like, like it felt like I was experiencing nausea because I was worried like, you know, there's no way this kid's gonna know shame going. That's crazy. And like there's no way that like, not only that, he got you to think of that person. I was thinking of him. And like, 'cause he said at the beginning of it too, like, all right, I'm gonna see if I can get both of you guys to think of this person. And like. Can you say that? I don't know. I was doing it because he was asking you to think of someone that you haven't seen in a while. And I was like trying to think of who you would think of. Bro, I was thinking like, I don't know. I don't know. I do not know. But then like, I'm sitting there and I'm like worried. Like, you know, there's no way he's gonna come up with Shane Gorman. Like, that's such a, like, who of you Gorman? I don't know, man. Dude, I don't know. I was like, I did see a comment. So these guys are actors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you for the compliment for thinking I can do that. Yeah. And also, where's my fucking Oscar? Because if that was acting, we deserve to be recognized because boy oh boy. Yeah, that was crazy. But the fact that he got mad at Gascar and Egypt. But I'll tell you what. As soon as he said, take out your phone. I went, oh yeah. Oh shit, here we go. He wants to do magic on me. Is he gonna want it? Was that your first time being magiced upon? No, when I was younger, a magician, I don't think those would consider this guy the same. It was like a table magician stole my watch. One of those. Oh, he like, I've seen those people that I'll just like, they put their arm around them and then they just like slowly take it off. Fully took my watch. I had no idea. I went, I don't do that. I like that. Pick pockets? I like watch YouTube videos because there was a time where I was like, I want to pick pocket. One more time. Pit, pick? No, no, no, no. I'm not the pronunciation of that is not what I'm harping on. It's the fact that you wanted to aspire to be, you probably watched Ocean's 11. That's what it was. I mean, I definitely enjoyed that. You're like, man, if I can knock off a casino, come on. Yeah, you're like, damn, that Damon got it going on. Yeah, it did. I can't, I've seen those videos. And again, I'm one of those people. It's just like, I'm not gonna believe it until it happens to me. And lo and behold, O's did his thing. Yeah, it's kind of like, it's wild when it happens to you because you're like, it's hard to, because then you see the comments and you're like, this is funny. Also, I did see some comments being like, this is dark magic. He's a Damon, I'm like, all right. There's an explanation. Becca, she goes, that's cool, but there's some darkness there. And I'm like, what do you say? And she's like, also, she sent to me. She's like, he grabbed your hand and said he took your soul. That felt like, I don't know, like babe, come on. And then she goes, are you sure? Well, he also openly is like, I'm not doing magic. I'm feeling like, like clearly there's an explanation for the thing I'm doing. It's not supernatural. I mean, I feel supernatural. I can't even begin to explain the experience. But like, yeah, Becca was one of those people that was just like, it's a little dark, you know? And then she said later, she's like, he touched your hand. Did he feel something because he knew that you thought that Raphael Nadal was handsome. What are you mean? She's like, you know, you just like in my head, like figured out I'm secretly gay for Raphael Nadal of all people. I mean, not bad looking guy. They're in the US Open, I am. Frankie's secret. Yes. Don't do that. Don't do that. Because I know you typed out, you write down these time codes. Oh my God. Well, that was incredible. I mean, I love magic, man. Damn shit, what else can we get in here? I mean, we have to get, we've gotten a doctor. Right. We've gotten, oh, we've got to get, what's his name? Neil deGrasse Tyson. First of all, I was thinking Neil Patrick Harris, and I was like, that's, I mean, we can get an MPH too. I know. But I was thinking Neil deGrasse Tyson. I mean, Neil deGrasse Tyson in there. Like, he will, like, what made, oh, he did his thing. Doctor Mike did his thing, but he was very patient and kind with us. Something tells me we would break Neil deGrasse Tyson. He'd be like, fuck you guys. To be fair, I think I did see a clip of him on Theo Vaughn's podcast, and I'm pretty sure Theo asked him if space was gay. Yeah, he did. And then he just gave an answer. Yeah, which is, which is crazy. So, like, it makes me pretty confident that, like, he would have an answer for stuff. I just think that, like, there's so many, like, we can do a body health doctor. We could do a space doctor. We could do a food doctor. Space Doctor, you know what I'm talking about? Like, yeah. A magic doctor. Magic doctor. We got magic doctor. We got YouTube doctors with, you know, Rhett and Link. We could do space doctor next. Yeah. Food doctor. What else is there? Neil deGrasse Tyson. It would be a funny one. That's funny. I think that's good. I would love to speak to, have you ever seen those videos that are, like, they're, they're called, like, I think they're through, I don't remember, but it's like tech support, it's, like, paleontology support, and they'll have a paleontologist answer questions from, like, people that submit them online, or, like, you know, astrophysicist support. Yeah. They're actually pretty interesting, but, like, a fossil doctor. That'd be a cool one. Fossil doctor. It's, like, a title paleontologist, I think. Oh, well, that's, yeah. Yeah, you know, they're talking to her. paleontology. Yeah. This got to be about someone that's found treasure or something like Indiana like like national treasure Indiana Jones or something. Like a pirate? No. Like a treasure. I know what you're talking about. Like a treasure hunter or something. Like national treasure. Yeah, something. First of all, that also is very high on my bucket list to find the national treasure. Yeah, to like like that movie is like like that is a great example of what if I kept my childhood brain and never mature if that's what I would do with my life. I mean, I'm shocked you haven't seen any of the Indiana Jones movies. Yeah, I got I mean, it was you would fall in love like each of them kind of like a more more than national treasure. Like I love the fact that he's like, oh, there's a shadow and then it's like these glasses that you can read and there's different things to raiders of the lost arc. You're going to like really what have I why have I not and also have you seen the movies the Indiana Jones movies? Yeah, of course. Big Disney guy, of course. Yeah, it's fair. They were Lucasfilm. I like the first one and then the last crusade because you were a kid of God. You love the last crusade. I also got a kid of God. Yeah, it's like them searching for the Holy Grail. Oh, okay. And like there's all like booby traps and shit. No real boobies. I don't think I love booby traps. Dude, why do you think I love legends of the hidden temple? So booby traps are just so good. Like if I if I got caught in a booby trap, a part of me for a second will be like what innovation? Well, like, like whoever put this together is modern ingenuity. Yeah, like it's like a spike thing that I get caught. But also like the idea of going out like dying because like if you say like oh, he died because he fell in a pit. Boo. But like he died by booby trap. Yeah, awesome way to die. Like if if I let's like walking through the jungle, first why wouldn't be doing that. But if I was walking through the jungle and then all of a sudden like I step somewhere and a rope pulls me up and then like there's like dude does nest of of monkeys and they're like ripping my face apart. I'd be like for a second. I'd be like this is someone has to be so validated and like oh my god you know how bad I want to get caught in a net. I want to walk through like leaves and then a big net just swallow me and pull me up. Yeah. You know how fucking cool that probably is for like maybe a minute. You know what I actually want to be tied to a big stick of bamboo and carry to a village. And that's dangerous. Yeah. Oh, you mean like over the shoulder to like slow roast you over a fire? Like it does look like it does look kind of fun like on the way there. I mean it looks like honestly it would be painful because they like tied they like hog tie you. Yeah. So like you'll be like tied with a thing of bamboo going through your arms and like you're like hanging and shit like that. But in the movies they always find a way. I do want to be treated. Yeah. Sometimes they do. You ever see what was it green and fur? No, don't even know. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking more of like pirates are the Caribbean. That you know they should have experiences where like you could be treated like you were captured in the jungle. Like they do escape rooms, cool whatever for the intellectually inclined line. You know just want to get caught. I just want to be like go run through this jungle and then you step on a rope and it fucking swings you up and then you need to cut yourself with like a jagged rock and then you hit the ground. Dude when we were kids at the lake we used to we thought we were building a tree house and we were like we're only going to use rocks as tools and we didn't. Sure. But you and like like my brothers Brian. We're going to we're going to use the rocks as tools but build a tree house. Yeah. Yeah. The parents are probably thrilled about that. They're like they'll be at that the whole summer. Well because it was like you know next to where my cabin is there was like that little cove with like that little island on there. If you go to it I don't know if it's still there but we had like nailed a plank into the tree and it was like the first step and then we like found rocks that were like jagged and we were like we can cut stuff with this. Yeah. We never did. When you're a kid oh god there's nothing better than that of like what this is possible or you just get a stick and be like I'm a wizard and now it's a sword and now ow ow my elbow. I was playing outside with the girls yesterday and I found a stick and we were playing like magic one and I was just yeah and it was so fucking cool. I wish I remember after the last Harry Potter movie I was like oh we're not going back to Hogwarts next year and I was like damn wizardry is not real and this pisses me off because I would love to go to Hogwarts and just like I've yet to go to the universal Hogwarts experience. I have a feeling outrageous. It's going to cost a couple bucks. Are your children in the Harry Potter? Miles big time loves Harry Potter. Um great. Bro speaking of crying like a baby watching that movie with him having to explain spoiler I'm not going to spoil it like one of the you know what I'm talking about like I was getting choked up explaining him like it's all about love you know what I mean. It's all about. And it's looking at me like someone that couldn't care less about Harry Potter. I feel like I was following along and then I didn't know what movie you were talking about. I feel like I just lost myself you know the first part one. No. Do I do I need to say the line? Always. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. You know and I was like one I think. I bugged. Uh he's talking about Deathly Hollows part one right. Yeah I think it is part of it. But like the arc. Oh god I like cried explaining it to him. That's so funny. And the kids you know if it's not K-pop demon hunters the girls don't really care about it right now. That sucks but no it's good. No no no I mean like it sucks that they're not into Harry Potter. Harry Potter is amazing dude. They'll get there like dude in Harry Potter like if you have children that are really into Harry Potter and then you walk into islands of is it islands of adventure that I'm thinking of? Well it has both like both. Well I'm talking about when you get to Hogsmeade it's like unbelievable. I can't I can't wait. Was that a question? Yeah. I can't wait. I want to go like we've we've discussed going soon. It's so good. But I'm gonna need help. I literally have recruited so far one person to assist me with everything. Oh you're gonna need to go fund me too. I will need both. I know I know. Bro I talked to my neighbor and he was just like we literally hired someone who scheduled and paid for everything came with us waited on lines for us and shit like that. Waited on lines. Yeah he said you're gonna have to do fast path. But he said he's like we did all that stuff and they waited on the line so like when it was our turn we just walked up and took her spot. Wow I didn't know that was like a thing you could do. Take a wild guess what something like that cost. Just for that part of the whole trip. I think he said that they went for like three days the whole trip. Yeah. I mean it's over 10 grand. You're close. I'm not gonna give away like the actual amount. Yeah it's a lot. Are they staying on property or off property. Yeah it's a big one. That's a great question. I didn't specify. If you do stay on property. Oh I'm not I'm not talking about what the whole thing costs. I'm talking about what that service cost. Oh it's like that's close to 10 grand. Like the VIP stuff kind of. I don't think that's worth it. You get a handler. That's what the person wants. It was basically a handle. Oh like this is through Disney. No. It's like a part like just a buy itself service. Oh. Oh I don't know then. Replace that AI. Damn I miss it. I want to go back already. I'm getting such a good time that time. I'm going in like four days. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck you. You're gonna get a butter beer. Yeah. Is it beer? No. Damn it. Oh yeah. Do they sell alcohol there but they call it like a cool Harry Potter? There's alcohol everywhere. Yeah. There's a bar in Harry Potter world where that has like the hog on a head. It's a hog's head but it talks to you. It's called Hogsmeade. You get beer there. It's fun. Yeah. How stupid you think we are. We know Harry Potter. You don't know the place exists. But I know Harry Potter. I know Hogsmeade. It's a fucking guy bro. But also Hogsmeade's called the place not the bar. It's I believe it's a leaky cauldron. I don't know if it's a leaky cauldron. It might be right actually. What that the place is called leaky cauldron? Yeah it might be right. I mean that would make more sense but there's a hog head. Because hogsmeade's like the town. Yeah. It's like Steinway. That's for no one. That's just for me and you. We know Steinway. That's like Steinway. Damn I'm jealous though. Have you ever bought a wand there? No they're bread. How much? How much? It could be like 180. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. $180. Yeah. I'm on a card. But you can go around to specific points and if you have the wand you could do magic and like a dutch stuff. I'm letting you know. We have already publicly announced that we're doing more live shows. Yeah. We're going to need to get those if I want to go home man. Especially if like your daughters get into Harry Potter and you have three people. Bro if Miles looks at me with he doesn't even need to like you know sometimes kids can play into the whole like pleat if he just looks at me happy I'll be like whatever you want. Yeah. I don't care. You watch the families where the three kids have the full cloaks that they bought in the store and the three wand. And they're going around doing magic my god. Yes, I'm telling you I might be that guy and it might I mean you're gonna I think you will I might like I'm telling you right now if I get put in a slither in or something stupid like Hufflepuff I'm gonna be pissed you can buy them you could buy them. Oh, I could pick. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't don't they have a sorting hat there though? And he's just like Filthy Stinky stinky That's a pretty good impression. They put it on Joey's head to be like All right, I smell money Okay White yeah, you know that fucking sorting out was racist as hell. Yeah My god, that's true. Which house would he be and you got to finish? We know what house he'd be in because he'd pay his way into Gryffindor We've already gone over this a bunch of times. We've looked at what houses. What do you think you are? I don't know slitherin probably You're not fucking cool enough for slither. Who do you think you are? I also love before the movies evil can evil I also love but slitherin before the movie it was fully based on being racist I love how people just like I love how they're just like Well, I'm cunning. I would be a slitherin. It's like the founder was just like if you're a mud blood, you're out Yeah, like I also crab and bar for whatever their names are Was it crab and you go oil? What's the rabbit go oil? Yeah, it wasn't slitherin before the movie like the powerhouse of the school And then Gryffindor just became cool because yeah, Salazar slitherin was just like I don't like anyone Your parents are fucking not Just magic get at it. Yeah, I mean, I guess I don't know the lore. Maybe Hufflepuff I believe that was like I don't really there's not If they do more Harry Potter stuff, we should probably dive into those two houses a little bit because I don't there's not really a highlight of it Yeah, I mean the game kind of like if you could if you get placed in one of those I know that there's so much lore Frank if the game placed me in anything other than Gryffindor. I'm snapping it I believe that first because it was like they place you and then you can say nope, I want to go there I think they had placed me in like Ravenclaw I was just like you'll fuck this game. You don't fuck it Ravenclaw is like the studious ones right and Hufflepuff aren't they just pop in potions? I might do that one Yeah, they're like drug addicts. So you have Gryffindor that are just like They're kind of like they're like the heroic but also arrogant. Yeah slitherin. They're like they're cunning They're just racist yeah, and they use slurs My blood. Yeah, and then Hufflepuff was just like I'd be pop in potions. I'll be Hufflepuff The fucking stoners. I'll be at Hogsmeade get an after it. Oh, yeah You're at Ravenclaw walking out into the forest. I mean Ravenclaw's not the worst in my opinion because the name is pretty fucking cool Yeah, I like Ravenclaw. Ravens and claws are cool both cool. Yeah Hufflepuff It's a little get the fuck it sounds like a Pokemon. It does it does. Yeah, exactly like it would be like a ball of smoke What do you read? What are you researching just looking at what Hufflepuff does? What do they do? It's a operator's community acting as the glue that holds people together through dedication and strong moral compass. Wow That's nice. Yeah feels like me fine. What do they say about slitherin and immediately just add a couple hard hours to it Oh god, I have to spell slitherin. Oh, yeah, you're probably over there having a tough A drive to succeed often aiming for leadership positions and striving to be the best in their endeavors. I could perhaps slitherin Yeah, if you're white. Yeah, white nationalism We try to be the best at all endeavors if you're blown handling my mind. Yeah The ends justify the means. Yeah, this is all so blurry proud boyish little tough. Oh, man Alright, well there you have it folks I don't really I mean I had to do a stretch like that. I don't know. I just felt good But Frank where can I find you? The Frank Alvers all over patreon.com slash the basement yard and the basement yard and all forms of social media go check it all out And you can find me at aunt prisco on instagram and you guys are following me at josey and i got to go follow the show at the basement yard on tiktok and instagram and that is all See you guys next time