#550 - We Are Podcastmaxxing

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I will say those candies that you're wearing. Love them. Ugh. You don't like them? God, those suck. Those are one of the worst all-time candies. And we're in a shot. No shot. We are in a great candy season. We are in a great candy season, right? Easter. Our Lord, and he came back, he are risen. What is it? Is, Frank. He is risen. He is risen. He did rise. I don't see like, that's why I don't like all-timey English because it's not good. Like they were all like, he has risen? Yeah. That's what I would say, if I were. But he is like a capital H. I know. I know. So it's like, you know. But that's not the part of it that bothers me. It's the is risen. So has risen? Yeah. He has risen. He's gonna be risen. Take a look. There he is. There he is. What did you say? He's gonna be risen. He's gonna be risen. I wonder if-- He's gonna be risen. I know that they make like, Miles has a Bible that's like a graphic novel comic book, and it's called like the action Bible. I wonder if like, someone would like, take the Bible and like translate it into like modern lingo. I'm sure. And it's like, the apostles are like, this is giving resurrection. Yeah. It's giving leprosy. Oh my god. This is giving frankincense. Yeah. Pontius Pilate is like giving mean girl right now. Oh. I don't like Brutus. Was that the one? No, that was Caesar. I'm not. Who's the one that like went against Judas? Judas. Brutus and Caesar. It wasn't Caesar. Like, yeah. That was a different. That was Rome, wasn't it? Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Wait, where are you on Caesar salad? I like Caesar salad, but I think that people when they have like their first Caesar salad, they go down a rabbit hole. Like people when they try Caesar salad for the first time, they're like, oh my god. This is the greatest thing. And then everything like Caesar salad wraps. Bro, they're good, but everyone chill. Ah. It's like drugs for people. I do think that we're getting away from like the point of Caesar. Like, Caesar needs to be a salad dressing. And like, I don't want this like bagged. I want it like real Caesar. You know what I mean? Bagged. Yeah, like pre-made Caesar. Have you seen those like the like people at the restaurants making it with like just two spoons? Yeah, yeah. Whoa. Yeah, I went to a restaurant. I got the Caesar and then they like take a little anchovy and they crush it up and they like fucking. That's the only place that I'm like cool with mustard knowing that it's there. Like in a Caesar? Like, I know mustard's in there and I'm like, I'll allow it. Yeah. You like Caesar salad wraps? Yeah. Chicken Caesar salad wraps, sure. What I was going to say is, isn't it weird? What's the lettuce where they kind of just put a head of lettuce on it on the plate? Like a wedge? Like a wedge salad? No, weird. I love lettuce. You're never going to get an argument with me about lettuce. I like it, too. Because you kind of like, it's like a boat. It like fills it. What's the red ones? On dives and dives? And dives, I believe you. Those are good because they usually pack those bits. Well, I like when it comes in like the romaine and you could like peel it and it's like you can make like a lettuce wrap with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. I like when it helps me eat, not what I need to like do the work for. I like when it's like a like a shovel. Like a shovel, shit in my face. I do like that. Yeah. I like Caesar salad. It's great. It's a great salad. You know what it is? We wanted to give that butter lettuce. Yeah. What is that? It looks like a full head of lettuce, but there's like eight leaves in it. Yeah. And then they're just like super crunchy. I want all the leaves all the time. I can eat a whole head of lettuce at will. I'm going to an arugula groupie. Like I'm into it. Arugula is such an underrated form of greenery. Yeah. Dude, it really is. Kale? Kale's kind of. Nah. Here's the thing with kale. It holds dressing well. It's pretentious to me. Because it got like little nooks and crannies in there where it'll like just hold a little bit. Yeah. It's a very outdoorsy looking lettuce. Like it looks like this. You got this from outside. I'm sure it is. What you did. But you know what I mean? I'm sure it is healthy for you. But like it seems like it's the type of lettuce or it's not lettuce. It's the type of greenery that like you have it to like appear more healthy. It's the caviar of greenery. Yeah. Like you don't know what you're doing. You're just eating kale because you're told it's the best. Yeah. Like this isn't like a kale salad? No. Not for me. Too much. That's like having a bowl of caviar. Like you're not going to have this is like a little. Yeah. It's got to be mixed in with other shit. I'll tell you who is a pretentious bastard. Who the fuck does spinach think it is? Spinach can kiss my ass. Whoa. I feel like I kind of like spinach. I like it. But like not to the point where everyone's just like oh my god spinach. It's just like in everything. They kind of like throw it in your shit. I don't mind it. I don't like when it gets when they start all bunching up in my wrap. And then I take a bite and I'm like I mean just spinach now. I had great salads in my life. I've never made a great salad because all my stuff gets to the bottom. And then I have to like yeah I got to do this. I got it. Yeah. I got to like fluffily like air it up. You know I don't like it. It's too much work to be healthy. Have you ever used one of those fucking salad things? Have I? Oh I don't have the crank. I have the button. Those are cool too. My mom has that. And I'm like oh it is. Spin in that bitch. Spin in that bitch. Like the crank and I'm like yo there's a lot of G in here. Like there's a lot of G force. Oh I'm there for the G's. Yeah. I like doing that too with like when I wash fruit. And then I take because it has like the removable strainer. And then I look at all a dirty water down there. And I look at the fruit. And I was like look what you did. You little pig. Yeah. And that's it. Whoa. And then but also like that makes you feel good because you're like I could have eaten that. Yeah. Which I don't really care much about like. Yeah. I'm like hyper intense. Bro you're eating fruit. You're eating bugs. Just what did it. And germs like I think that the good parts of whatever you're eating are going to outweigh the bad parts that are on it sometimes. What's the worst thing you found in your food? I haven't really like found anything like two insane. Yeah. Have you ever bitten apple find a worm? No. No that only happens in like Disney movies from the 40s. I don't think that's ever been a real thing. Or like an apple on a teacher's desk. There's like a fucking problem. Bro I was a teacher and a kid was just like I like you. Here's an apple. That's fucking smack in that apple and then I'm going to yell at the kid. I'm not going to hit him. Yeah I'd be like yeah I'm not eating your fuck. I want a fucker of you. Hi in this. How many times have you gifted a mug to a teacher? Once I think maybe I don't know. You were big on that. I don't know if I even got my teacher. What are you talking about? My mom was like boys with all of my teachers. Well she was like part of the staff. Yeah so like I had to around Christmas time. It was like you need to get gifts for all your teachers. So they got mugs. Like the ones that they sell like Starbucks that come already wrapped with like a gift card in it and then like a bag of instant coffee or some shit. Yeah I did that for the ice cream man once. What? It wasn't my idea. It wasn't my idea. So you won't give gifts to your teacher who arguably has more of an impact on your life. But you will to the ice cream guy that was yeah he got in trouble. What? What do you do? You didn't hear about this? You're making this up. I swear. What happened to him? He got in trouble for like for what? Children? No. How am I supposed to guess then? Stabbing? No. You think I stabbed like that? I thought you had a knife and you stabbed so much. No I did. The rumor was drugs yeah. Oh whatever. That's fine. I mean as long as it's like. No no it ain't. Well it's a children or two. I don't know who it was too or if it's even true but I'm going to take it as it's real. Get it? How you live it? I mean I understand drugs are bad but as long as you're not someone's in children now you're not. Stabbing anyone. Not that that. You know I don't know. I don't know. I was forced to just give me my great white shark. I don't want some of that great white. You know what I'm saying? Yes. My dad made me do it. That's. I swear to God if you would ask me to pick between your two parents I would have said your father. Of course. Of course. I don't even know if my mom ever like met this guy. My dad knew everyone in the neighborhood for some reason. I was like go go do something nice for him. You know what I got? I don't know what the actual like gift was but I do know there were scratch off tickets in it. That's such a popular gift around the holidays. Just like buy 10 scratch offs and just give one to someone because it could be either a meaningless gift or a $30,000 gift. I honestly hate it as a gift. If you give somebody a scratch off and they win a million. Are you I don't think any scratch offs can win you a million now there are. If it's a 20 buck one or something probably I don't know but regardless. I'm saying no. 100,000. No. 100,000. Would you would you not a little bit of you? No. No. This is an age old question. Because it'll be like I buy you a powerball ticket and you win 35 million. How much are you giving me? We've talked about this that's different. No, that's different. That's not scratch off But I give it a gift like like Merry Christmas Yeah, no, you can't and then you win a hundred thousand. I just to be next time I saw you just to be a better person than Joe I'd give him a little a little something. I would do I wouldn't give them like a fixed amount, but I would be like like you know like a dinner or something like like something really nice Like a like an elevated version of what are you telling them that you won the money one? You're saying that I win the hundred thousand. All right. No, I was saying somebody else. All right. I would not expect any here We go here we go. Here we go hey I'm acting acting yard welcome back. Um, oh it action Merry Christmas. I got you this Scratch off. Yeah, it's just a little something. You know, thank you for all the ice creams you delivered to my kids. Oh I'm not ice cream guy Yeah, okay, so um, that's for you just best of luck. Ha ha. Oh my god. I want a hundred thousand dollars on this Wow Wow, did you thank you so much for no problem man? How let me see that how did you win that? Wow? $100,000 100,000 big ones. That's so big. But that's so cool. Fuck ice cream. Oh with your retiring. Yeah, it's a hundred thousand dollars What year's this 95 not enough, right? Um, that's so I'm so happy for you. I would thank you so much. This is unbelievable. No, I gotta give you something. I gotta give you something. No I gotta do I gotta do no you don't need to do that. You don't need to at least let me take you to dinner. Where? Whatever you want. All right, I know it's really nice restaurant. Yeah, it's really what what's your favorite cuisine? Wine oh They have a good wine list. Yep, sweet and Seen we crushed that acting that's what I'm saying. So you gotta offer but I gotta get you something like no And but at least let me take you to dinner now. You're in the clear, but but here's the thing At what point is the no do you say like okay? Because I know you as an individual if this were actually happening and I want to say no you'd be like okay After the first time where no, yeah, no, I would not yeah because yes, you've I think you kind of Because you're the type of person you've openly spoken about this that like if someone like if there's like one thing of food left If there's one mozzarella stick left, you'll be like Anyone want it? No, no, you'll just go okay Frank, we're equating mozzarella sticks to a hundred thousand dollars that I got from a gift I see a very clear parallel between the two. Okay, you're ignoring nuance here You think that I would be like let me give you something you go no, okay And I'm out I just walked down the street. I think you're more inclined than I am That's bananas that you would think that I would sneak the money into your like you and you'd be like no And I'd sneak it into your your your pocket or something I will go on record and say that like if someone is offering me money and I am telling them no I would be offended if you snuck it on me. I'd be like get this to fuck off me. Oh see Cuz I just like a little playful thing back and forth. It's like no, yes But I'm also not like that with like the bills with dinner or whatever if I'm out with people and I would like I usually if I want to pay I will wait until like Before the check comes because I don't want to deal with it like in the moment I don't want to put pressure on anyone, but I'll say to people like I would really like to pay for this if that's okay with you guys Because if there's like you know, whatever then we can kind of settle that whatever if people are are like I want to pay and I'm like It's or or if they say that one time then I will let that go because that's different than like are you sure? No, you don't have to but if they're like no, I really I would like to pay for this as well I'd be like okay, no problem because I'm not trying to fight You know what I mean like but I would definitely offer it. It's just a little back and forth But I also know that if I'm in that position and I say that because if someone's like oh, you know We want to pay for dinner. I'd be like oh my god. Thank you so much like I appreciate that because I know that I will pay it forward at some point or whatever But if I'm like no no no like I I would like to pay for that I the last thing I want right now is to have this argument where it's like who's nicer than bubble-bob because it's not even a matter of that I would like to pay for my you think someone be trying to like big dog you if they just pay And don't tell you and they're just like no you're my bitch. First of all at a restaurant big dog me If I'm at a restaurant someone's like I'd like to pay for this I would be and if someone that I know I this happened to me recently where I went out to dinner with people I was fully like expecting to pay but they ended up paying and like their wife was there and you know someone else was there And they were like oh like I'm gonna handle it. Don't worry about it I was like all right like no problem like I'll just get the next one type of thing But I'll remember that so like the next time I'm not dealing with this shit to in a row my doing this. It's like the scene in the sopranos where Meadows boyfriend like pays for dinner and Tony and she's like, oh no. He's like wishing you fuck. Yeah, and he's like you fucking when you have your own family How would you deal with that like I'd be okay with it? I don't get the even in that scene. It's just a disrespect thing. Yeah, it's like a how is it? It's like I'm the one that you know like I'm the one that's the head of the house. Hey, I'm the head of the household like that's back when I think now obviously It's a very different time than it was when they whenever they made that show in the 90s If I went out with my daughter and her new boyfriend and he paid for the bill without me knowing I would think that he's doing a nice thing, but I also would probably explain that like You don't like you don't need to do that and also like you're a kid like they were like in college It's like you're not paying for the dinner. Yeah, I don't I think I think it'd be like I appreciate this Never do this again, and then I'd flash a gun in their face. Yeah, this is Tony over there. I mean thank you. Yeah, I don't know about that one Yeah, you're a little like old school. Not a little. I think you're very old school. Like you're traditional in a way Like in ways like that. I'm fully joking like I anytime I've been out to dinner with my father in law I don't let him pay you know what you're an adult You don't let him pay you say yeah, like I'm like I'm going to get this like please and I mean there have been times where like But like I always like listen. Please let me do this like yeah, but I don't I don't think I'm pretty I'm pretty new wave See what I mean I'm pretty new wave I'm pretty hip I'm pretty hip pretty up to it. It is gonna be really interesting to see like when our kids are You know at dating age what like the things to do or not do are you know because those things are evolving Like if you had told our parents generation that like you know The son will pay for dinner. They'd have the Tony soprano reaction You know what I mean? So like I wonder what it will be like how like the cultural norms will shift when they're updating age Well, now we know they've shifted and it's like If you're a guy and you pay for on the first date You're a bitch or something. Yeah, you're a little simple bitch apparently you're a simple cuck Kata a soy boy and a Democrat and again Cuck soy boy Democrat. Yeah, yeah, she's free food maxing you free food max and gestor maxing free food maxing you're gestor maxing Pocket maxing with I can't I can't even keep up with all this. Yeah, I saw a tweet the other day that was just like Clavicular jester maxed after the button and someone like retweet it said like yo things are being said that have never been said Like this sentence would kill someone in the Victorian era Things are being said that have never been said before what is jester maxing Bro, you're I'm told I know. I don't even know that one It's just anything maxing is something you're doing better. I do think it's funny. I think it's hilarious I think it the maxing shit is hilarious and like what is this whole shit with like jaw muscles? Oh, that I mean, this is wrong. The looks maxing thing is like yeah now becoming like a thing We're like that kid that you're talking about like he would hit his cheek with a hammer so that it would like the idea is that you would break The bones and they grow back and be stronger and you have like better cheek bones So it's all about like why to be like more symmetrical look like fucking Gaston classically Bad example. Gaston was ripped or traditionally attracted But who pull up the picture of the guy I'm talking about like who would find that like I don't know who but the kid that choose strong gum Who the fuck is that? Oh, you're talking about the kid with like the jaws like that. Yeah. Oh, I don't know who you're talking about You've never seen this dude. I saw I saw it on like Instagram like world star posted it or something and I was just like This is fucking crazy. He's got like balls over like you know how like when you're sitting and this is the only time I've done it but like when you're getting a haircut and you're getting it like a shave and you look and you do this You know what I'm talking about you like Clench your jaw. Yeah, but you like pop it out to see like Maybe I got I put on a little bit of weight. So maybe it's not looking like when I was 18 years old I can see your head move. Would you have a beard? So I can't really yeah, I guess so but like Apparently this dude like choose strong gum strong gum like Yeah, it's like Workout sticky like workout gum not even sticky, but like you remember Oh, do you remember the jaws or size? I was get no it was called like like jaws or size It's like a thing you put your mouth and you like chew and it like supposed to work out this like muscle or something. Why were you working out that much? It was a commercial, I didn't buy it. I don't know about that there. It's a commercial. - I was gonna say like, you know, like the gumballs that come in like the ice pops when we were kids and like after like three minutes of chewing, they basically became like chewing on dust. - Not dust, it was like industrial grade rubber. - Oh yeah, you know, it became like super intense. - Yeah. - So like this kid chews on that and has a jaw that like it looked like if you put those chairs on either side of my face. - He's looks maxing. - Looks maxing, jaw maxing. - Sint maxing, Sint maxing. - Yeah. - That's a big one I'm sure. - I'm trying to find a good picture of him. Is this real? This guy's jaw's big. - All right, I got one. - I mean, you said that kind of sexually. - I'm not gonna body shame, but. - I'm not body shaming. I'm body looking at and being like, all right. (laughing) - Just with this kid. - I mean, I also, I don't know who this. - Hmm, okay. - It's just a big, it's a big jaw. - Never skipped jaw day. - Yeah. - Is this a-yo, by the way. - One. (laughing) - Is this real? - I don't know. - And, or is it cosmetic surgery? - It could be, I don't know. And just like a classic American, I'm not gonna go and figure it out. - This is the strong gum guy. - This is a strong gum kid. There's like videos of him like talking and like the dude's got a strong jaw. Is he American? - All right. - Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new grippy setting mist from Maybelline, New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day gum fee grip. Just plump, dewy hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Maybelline, New York. - Maybe it's Maybelline. - You heard him talking. - No, like it's like with music. And like, it just got like muscular jaw. - That's very interesting. - Or maybe he's got the stuff that Maul and Brando had in the Godfather. - Yeah, that was down here. - Yeah, but he's got his stuff in the back. - So this is jaw maxing. - Yeah, this is jaw maxing. - If you were say you were good at maxing one thing, what would it be? - That's a great question. What am I good at maxing? Shit, I don't know. - You don't know. - Maybe nothing, maxed out? I don't know. - Whoa. - Why am I looking at him? - I got him. - Why has he got a strong gum? Look at that, dude. - Is that? - No, no, no. Wow, that looks, I guess that is real. - Yeah, I mean. - It looks real. - I mean, also judging by what I'm looking at right now, that's not an American. - Yeah, that's very European looking. - Very, very European. Yeah, I'm with you on that one. - Well, we could be, we're podcast maxing. - True, yeah. - We are podcast maxing, I guess. - You can be maxing anything. I think it's funny. If you were closer to the frame than jelly, but look, I'm frame maxing you. That's so funny. Like that's so funny to me. - Oh, it's like used against someone? - Yeah, it's competition. - Like looks maxing, you're trying to outlook. And like, magging is like, if you look better than me than it's like Frank's magging Joe. - A magging you? - Yeah. - These are all words I don't know. - Well, yeah. - We're learning something today. Who told you that the basement era podcast was an educational? - Like, you're watching magging right now. - I mean, you said it out me. - But he's, he's bank account magging all about it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's bank account maxing. - He's cash maxing. - He's cash maxing. (laughing) - He's investment maxing too. - Yeah, yeah. - I, just the fact that he has this studio, your studio maxing us. - A studio maxing. - So I guess he's magging our, he's magging you in a studio fashion, yeah. - Yeah, it happens, you know? - Studio magging maxing. - And you know, we're all gesture maxing. - What is that? - It's like funny, like a gesture. - Oh, so I mock gesture max you? - That I don't know. Now I don't even know. I might get a nose, I honestly don't know any of how this works. - Yeah, I don't know. But gesture maxing describes as behaving overly funny entertaining or foolish to attract attention from women and friends. - Well, not doing that. I guess we're not doing that. - Well, I'm just gonna leave out that part, but. - Yeah, 'cause like we're doing this to have a successful podcast. It's not like it's like let's get the ladies. - Yeah, yeah. (laughing) - So then. - For gesture maxing. - Podcast maxing. I think let's do that. - Well, that's the title. - No, please God, no. (laughing) - Gesture maxing with Frank Alvarez. - Podcast maxing. - That's gotta be a podcast. - Podcast maxing would be the. I, I think that's what you're doing. - Okay. We're gonna advertise max. - Advertise maxing. - We're advertising maxing real quick. - And then I'll Patreon max. - He's gonna. (laughing) - So we are, we're podcasts, we're no. Advertising maxing right now. The first one that we have is hymns. Okay, hymns offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work, including choose oral medication, serums and sprays. So if you're a guy out there and your hair's like thinning or you're losing some hair or you just want to be super preventative, this could be for you. These are doctor trusted ingredients like finasteride and minoxidil. So it can help stop further hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months. So very helpful for people that are losing their hair in some sort of way. They have 24/7 provider support. And once a day treatment options that fit your daily routine for simple online access to personalize in affordable care for hair loss, ED, weight loss and more, visit hymns.com/basement. That is hymns.com/basement for your free online visit, all right? Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve Verify for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions and important safety information. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil, finasteride. Head to hymns.com/basement and enjoy that, folks. And we also have Squarespace. Squarespace is a platform where you're going to be able to build your website and run it efficiently in the best way possible, in my opinion. Any time that we create a landing page, we're using Squarespace. And Squarespace has a bunch of templates that make it very easy to launch your website. You can have a great looking website in a little amount of time, 'cause now you don't need to hire someone to code the entire thing or any more. With these templates, you can go in, change the photos, change the text. You have a very professional looking website. In such a short amount of time and you can do it yourself, even with no experience, I did it. And I had zero experience with that, so you definitely good. But they also have a bunch of tools that help you optimize your traffic, let you know where it's coming from and where to put some marketing dollars, how to make it better, whatever you need. So if you have content or you have any commerce business or anything, this could be helpful. And you could head to squarespace.com/basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain using the code basement, okay? That is squarespace.com/basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. - And listen, you want to subscribe Max and subscribe, Mog, the people in your life that aren't members of the Patreon. Go to patreon.com/thebasementyard. We're podcast maxing on there. And what you could do is you could sign up and you could get these weekly episodes one week in advance. Then that next year, you'll be view maxing exclusive episodes on Friday, so you start and end your week with the basement yard on Patreon. Patreon.com/thebasementyard is the best way to support us. And we thank you, the over 50, 45,000 of you, I'm getting ahead of myself, but it's okay. I'm getting ahead of myself maxing. The over 45,000 Patreon members, thank you guys so much. We hope you enjoy it. And we want to keep giving you guys what you like. So go check it out, patreon.com/thebasementyard. If you join and you're new and you've never been everything that's back cataloged, you'll get it. And then you'll get the new stuff as it comes out. So when, when, you get sandwiched by basement yard episodes, that's nice, right? Sandwich maxing. So go check it out patreon.com/thebasementyard. And if you want to save yourself a couple bucks while you're doing it, go use that web browser that you use. Whatever it may be, Safari, Google Chrome, I don't know of any other ones, I can't think of them. But if you go to that website patreon.com/thebasementyard to type it in, instead of using the app, you'll save yourself a couple extra bucks. If you use the app, they're going to take some money from you, a little bit of extra. So save yourself a couple bucks. Why not patreon.com/thebasementyard. We love you, we thank you, we appreciate you. We'll see you up, episode maxing on there. I'm going to be miserable with this maxing. I can tell. Everything that I say is going to happen. You'll love four of them, Rip. I do want to talk about, there was a story of the chocolate. There's Viagra accidentally in the chocolate. There was like a recall. I don't know if it was like one of the popular ones, but dude, can you imagine? Wait, like it's, it's boner chocolate? I don't think it's meant to be boner chocolate. Oh, it's like straight up chocolate. It needs to be, yeah, yeah, it's like chocolate. How does that happen? I don't know, maybe there was like a spill on the sealous factory. But why are they making chocolate in the sealous factory? That's a great question. How would that even happen? Someone thought like, this is going to be a big prank, and they dropped a handful of boner pills into the chocolate batch. Is it? Chocolate an aphrodisiac to begin with. That's what they say. We've looked it up a ton of times chocolate Strawberry's oysters something like that, but like I think I'm into strawberries now by the way Deciding a strawberry max on people I I just I was never really into them And then the other day I had one and it was like a fucking apple. It was like a wet fucking strawberry bitch And I was like I was like, yeah, I'm drinking see now now. How do I what do I even do with that? Yeah, take a time out dude. You need to have like proper strawberries Why can't the one that I had be proper because it wasn't the one that you got what is a proper strawberry like real strawberries Are like this big the ones where they're like apples are not as like bro when you taste the ones that are like real like this Big they taste like strawberry flavor. I've got a Japanese strawberry. They make though They're like oishis or something like that. I forgot the name of them there I've seen them at like whole foods and stuff. Yeah, but like it's like $20 for a pack of six strawberries. Yeah, we're not there yet I mean I mean some of us Podcast pocket maxing on them Frank. You're not poor You're not poor I was poor. I can't buy a $20 strawberry Brother pull your fucking sweater down. Yeah, this was like me. It jokes like that. This was a gift from the guy that that watch mug to me on fucking stage Watch mom. You watch bogg me on stage. I just I hear what you say I want you to experience the good parts of life and the good part the best parts of life are better strawberries for you I can't do anything without you trying to say that I did it wrong and I need to do it I'm not saying you did it wrong, but you could do it better So that's what I meant some intense points. I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna I'm trying to better max your life. You're trying to life max me. I'm life trying to life max you so you could have But chocolate boner pills imagine eating chocolate and you're just hard as a demon I feel like that has happened to me before like if I get like a good gear our deli like the caramel ones I'll get fucking steamy penis, dude. I'm for real You ever get alright, it's weekly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so take it easy on the demon boners I know that I know that like the dust the story. Can you just pull up the story just type in chocolate and boners? Well, actually no chocolate recall Boners. Yeah, be very specific because I'm pretty sure that like there there's a act This is an actual issue because they put too much of it in or whatever That's what yes, that's four minutes ago Holy shit. I mean, there's there's other stories life-threatening amount of Viagra that I did No, okay that that I understand why it's scary. I mean recall is scary because hold on Which one? Because I love chocolate and I mean if it's called fantasy effort easy act chocolate, though That's boner chocolate. Oh, yeah, no, they're trying to go for it Make love making more desirable exciting and pleasurable. I looked it up a little bit on my phone too I think this this was already boner chocolate. Oh, they just added too much way too much got it You can buy boner chocolate. You don't need to get a prescribed by a doctor. Bro, they put everything in chocolate Fucking mushrooms, fucking yeah, but like I imagine that boner pills are which is hysterical that we're calling I mean they're boner. They're a controlled substance. So like you can't like buy it over the counter. Can you? Um, I mean you can get a horny goat weed over the counter. Yeah, but horny goat weed is not I think it's just like a like an herb It's like I don't know. It's like cat. What's the one that cats use? Catnip catnip. It's just an herb. Wait does catnip make cats horny? My guy. I thought catnip was like a slang for food No catnip is a real thing. It gets them like ready to fuck. What? I thought catnip was like just like a oh, yeah No, it's their catnip No catnip is like a real like it's like horny goat weed, but for cats dude What's it for? Why do they need to be I don't know to get them ready to fuck Why do they need to be or their animals? Aren't they ready to go? I mean, I don't know I don't know the libido of cats, but catnip is a real thing. Look up catnip. Can you look up and make sure that catnip is like yeah Well, there's also a chance. I'm wrong I don't think you are you sound is catnip don't type in just Just type in what is catnip? What is catnip? Dude? Why do we need to specify? What is catnip? What does it do I don't want to see no AI answer give me the real fucking urban the mint native to Europe and Asia Now I spend in North America. Come on. Oh, there it is. Oh, it's it's ability to induce a temporary state of euphoria or relaxation in many cats Is that horny? We don't know. I mean horny is euphoric I agree I agree relaxation feels like after horny it feels like this is yeah After the completion of horny. Yeah, then I'm like after the successful completion of catnip I need a cat map. Yeah, I Just so you know, I like what you did there, but that also kind of sucked I guess it's more like they get high than they get horny. It causes hyperactivity, rolling, rubbing and playful silly behavior This is horny. That's horny dude when cats to dry hump and that's if they smell it But if they ingested it often acts as a sedative causing relaxation Okay, so this is kind of like because I remember we had we had like Like it was like a catnip Like those cardboard like things they have like holes in them. They're almost like scratching posts Okay, and it had catnip in it and my cat used to fucking Go grind up on this thing like it was making dough. Oh, wow. Yeah, so I I Yeah, I mean, it's a safe assumption. I mean based on what that that means horny to me. I don't know Yeah, I think that's I think we have seen enough to scientifically say The catnip is meant to get cats horny damn and I'm you know a lot of chocolate this weekend. I mean it's Easter Easter Oh, so you're just gonna be horny around your family. I'll tell you what I I haven't Not been horny around my family because of those Cadbury eggs. Oh All right, once I start popping those I'm fucking That's not where I thought that was I mean, I mean we also have been young boys before I'm oh I was horny in front of my fan not in front But like around my family because that's where I lived All right, sorry for being 11. Sorry for party rocket. Yes. Sorry for I didn't put the good housekeeping magazine in the bathroom So an house left it there. Okay, that's all I needed it was horny maxing. I got horny max bro. I was horny maxing we all were Yeah, I got caught uh like grabbing back his butt in front of her family the other day Is that crazy? I think it's a little weird like what kind of parents? What's a grab? All right. Did you was it the cheek or were you like part of her butt? Would it have been her hole? No, cuz Yeah, did you That's like come here. Well, that's what I mean like some people are like they go in the train and kind of like that's crazy I don't know who does that. I mean some weirdos, but I don't do I mean you go for the sheet. What was so stop asking me about how I touched my No, no, no, no, not that you brought me up. Yeah, who would they say anything this question? Yeah, Becca was just like no, what did they say? Becca's like babe and then her dad was just like He like laughed, uh, laughed it off. Does he laugh like a cat? He does yeah I thought it was like attacking But in that moment I was you thought you were free. Yeah, it was known around. I mean I can't help myself, you know sometimes yeah So like I see your butt. I'm gonna grab it. You know, yeah, but I learned time and place Yeah, but if I had why does she talk like a Fucking you need my fucking head for a t-shirt Look at sanitation worker. Yeah, I I see why this is dangerous going back to the boner chocolate. You can't have too horny chocolate. You can't have too much horny chocolate But like They got their name in the press. I've never heard of horny chocolate before of you. No boner chocolate So like no bad press is bad press, right? I'm too afraid to indulge In that kind of thing Until I absolutely need it. Yeah, I would be afraid because I'd be like yo if I do this is my body gonna be like This is what I need now and then I can't get boned up. Well, what you drink coffee and it doesn't do that with coffee, right? What nothing called coffee's giving you boners, but like in terms of like caffeine dependency I kind of have been flirting with decaf now because I'm like I'm heart-maxing at the moment. You're heart-maxing. Oh, you're VO2 Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs Meet new grippy setting mist from Maybelline, New York Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all-day comfy grip No tightness. No stickiness. No residue. Just plum. Do we hydrate it skin? That still feels like your skin Try new grippy setting mist from Maybelline, New York. Maybe it's Maybelline I can't go from my runs. My heart rate's already elevated from a coffee. That makes sense But I don't know. I think it would have been way cooler is if I like got a kick-at and I'm seeing a kick-at now. I'm like whoa Yeah, you're like wow. This is a really good kick-at like this is weird Yeah, that'd be way cooler than have you ever you start like undressing the kick-at bar and like Whoa - Whoa! - Whoa! - Splitting it open. - Oh! - Have you ever eaten something and been like, "Oh, that, like. " - That's now I'm horny. - Really? - No, I'm asking, have you ever done it? - I can't think of anything. Like, what would be horny food to eat? 'Cause I know like the Afro-DZX stuff, but like, I just mean that it was so good that you're like, "Fu." I've had some flons where I've been like, "This is the close to sexual." - Flon. - Dude, flon? 'Cause it's like silky smooth. - It kind of goes like that. - Yeah. - Do you know what I mean? Like an ass. - It's like, "Oh!" - Yeah, yeah, so it's like, "Come on, my monkey, come on." - Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. - And I'm like, "Yeah, chill out." - Spoon me. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I'm like, "I will, but chill." - Yeah, yeah. But that's the only one I could thank you. Knowing Joey would be like, "Oh, I had a real good turkey club." - No, turkey club. - I had a friend when he was younger, would you-- - Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even there. Meet new, grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all-day comfy grip. Try new, grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. - Maybe it's Mavily. - After school, just go get zeppelies, sit down in his living room, just watch porn eat zeppelies. - Yeah, that kid's a fucking nut job, dude. - It's a maniac. - Yeah, what's going on? - What kind of, first of all, where the fuck was he getting zeppelies all the time of the year? - I got a better question. Why the hell do you know? - You told me. - He said, "Yo, I just go home and I pop open these 12 zeppelies and I just like let her rip." - Would he use like the zeppelie powder, like it was like gym chalk? (clapping) - No, I don't, I just can't ready. - No, I think that's as far as it went. Well, good session, and then he just-- - But what? - Good sessions. - Wait, so he was watching it for like, he was like game tape? - Yeah, yeah, like game tape. Just nothing, just eating zeppelies and watching, like you're watching a cartoon. - Yeah, no, he's a porn addict, brother. - Yeah, he's like, "That one's cute, that one's cute." - When was this? - This guy's still alive? - Like middle school. - Middle school. How about a parent? How about one parent? - No one's home to be like, "Hey, not zeppelies every day and also this is the living room." - Also, where the fuck was he getting all year round zeppelies? Dude, I don't know, that's a fair question. I don't know why it's his first one, but it's a fair one. I mean, the obvious insanity behind the fucking jerk maxing of his dick with zeppelies is crazy. - Yeah, it's just what he did, I don't know. Everyone has their, you know, it's what they did when they were younger. Everyone has it. - I mean, everyone has something, but like, it's not that. - Yeah, that's a little out there. Like, you're wasting perfectly good zeppelies. - Do you want me and he's eating them? - Yeah, he's eating them. - This is a very weird, is this kid still alive? - Yeah, he's still around. - What would make you assume that he died? - This maniac is sitting there every day eating zeppelies. His heart's gonna fucking explode. - He's inside, he's protected. - Oh, he might, yeah, too many zeppelies will put you down. - Bro, the zeppelies clogging your arteries and then the jerking off, bringing your heart rate to a fucking 200 beats per minute is gonna kill you. - I don't think, I think it was strictly game tape. I think it was strictly game tape. - That's worse, dude. - I agree that it's worse. - That's worse? - That's way worse. - Yeah, like, I don't even know how to, I don't know, that's strange, man. - He was view-maxing, I'm getting out of hand now. I need to stop. - We all are to be fair. - Yes, that's the way to stop. - It's collective. - I hope that no one gets like, seriously heard from this boner chocolate. That would be sad. - It's life-starting. - Speaking of cats, last thing. When Frankie walked in today, I thought his hat was a cat sandwich. Can I see it? I don't even know. And I said the same thing. I was like, where do you see cats? - I don't see cats, but I also don't know what's that, is that a sloppy joke or something? - It's a beef, it's like a beef sandwich. - Okay. - I think it looks like a bunch of jumbled cats. - I guess, I see it. - If I squint and turn it sideways, maybe I could see it like a cat? - No, no, a bunch of cats. It's a bunch of cats. - No, no, I get what you're saying. - Got it. We got it when we threw out the pitch for the booey-based socks. They were like, do you want a hat with a beef sandwich on it? And I said, yeah. - Oh, we had the beef sandwiches. - Yeah, and it had cheese on it. - Yeah. I'm very happy about that. - Sorry. - Last thing on cats. - Yeah, sorry. - Yeah. Yeah, I don't think anyone's gonna, I mean, hopefully no one. They say that like, it could lower your blood pressure and then you can, you know, it's, - Well, 'cause it takes your blood and puts it in your penis. - Isn't that what it does? - Yeah, I think that's-- - Isn't that what Dr. Mike told us? - Yeah, it like sends a lot of blood there. - It's just like calling all cars, calling all cars. We need you in the dick. - Everyone gets to the penis stat. How does it know where to go? Well, I mean, when you get a bone, it is what's happening. Yeah, but like, how does your blood know like, how does the pill make the blood know like, go to the bone? - I think it's just a, like, circulatory thing? - Yeah, like it's just, it just makes that like, easier. - So, oh, okay, so it's like, your brain knows that you're trying to get a bone, or so you take the pill and it works in tandem with the blood, so it knows where to send it. - Yeah, it's optimizing. - Your brain is playing crossing guard. - I thought you were good. - Yeah. - Well, you're circulatory, Max, I don't know. (laughing) I'm a serious egg, I need to chill. I was gonna stop. - This does feel like something if you were younger, you'd be running with. (laughing) - Oh, I would have been miserable with this. I would have been a not good version of myself with this whole maxing thing. - Have you ever taken a, like, a viagraceous? - No, I haven't. - I have the same fear you have that it's gonna, like, ruin you. - I'm gonna need it, and I'm good. - That's why I think so. - Yeah, I mean, I'm working. - Yeah. - That's what I'm saying, you know, don't fix a leaky pipe. Well, no, you just do something. (laughing) - What if it ain't broke, don't there it is? (laughing) - Hey, don't fix a leaky pipe, let it leak. - Yeah. - Let it get a little bit rough. - Cars broken down? - Don't fix it. - Don't fix it. - Don't fix a busted tire. - If it ain't broke, don't fix it. That's what I meant. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - But what if you double fix it? - What does that mean? - Like, you don't just replace a tire. You add spinning rims if you take it, you know? - How the hell would that happen? I don't think that's what that does. It doesn't give you, like, a permanent boner. I think if anything, that's not good. - I do know people, but I don't know them personally, but I've heard of people taking some of the pills like that, 'cause it's like, I'm fucking gonna be on my shit tonight. - Yeah, that's what I'm saying. - And it's like, you really want to like, really have like one of those crazy boners. Like, you really want to be like, yo, you know? Like, you know, you know? Said, oh, you know? - Do it with your arm. That would make more sense for you. - Right, I'm not trying to boner max, you know? - Boner max by sitting there, baby. I don't know anyone. If they do it, they don't tell me, you know? But like, I feel like having like a really, really, really, really, really, really, really hard boner would be painful. - I think that is like an issue where like, that's why they say like, after four hours, like all the blood is there. I mean, think of like, if you put, like if you have something that's like cutting off circulation your finger, all the blood is there, it's trying to build up a pressure and shit like that. You need to like alleviate it, so I imagine it would hurt. - Yeah, yeah, I don't know. How do they even, oh, did Dr. Mike say they like draining it? - Yeah, they drain it with a needle. - Chill, bro. Putting a needle into my weiner would be like, - It's like how they do like cauliflower here. - Yeah, I've seen videos of that. - That sucks. - Oh my God, can you imagine? Should be like, yo, I just literally can't stop having a boner. - I know I can't imagine. I can see that being incredibly painful. But then also, how do you like, you have to like hold it down to when you're, yeah, when you're in the emergency room, you're just like standing like this. Yeah, I need to see the doctor, I'm fine. I wonder how long that would take, 'cause the emergency room, have you ever been to an emergency room? Yeah, you could take hours, dude. - Yeah. - So like, how long are they there? Like, are you there with just this boner? - God forbid someone comes in with a gun shot willing to. - So like, keep that thing. I gotta go deal with this guy over here. - Oh man, I can't even imagine that. Isn't it like four hours? If it lasts more than four hours, I'll be, I'm panicking under an hour, dude. - At 53 minutes, I'm gonna go, I'm dying. - 53, that's very specific. - I know. - Oh, 'cause he's a big, long last guy. - I'm saying the opposite. - I'm saying that if my boner lasted, four hours is such a crazy amount of time. - I can't even, like, what do you do with a four-hour boner? What do you do with a three-hour boner? The dishes? Can you? - She's gotta stand a foot back. - Yeah. - Whoa! - Gotta stand a whole foot back to my giant car! (laughing) - Jesus. - What I mean, dude, how am I gonna do the dishes from across the room because I'm so boner? - You know what I mean. - Yeah, Jesus. - I can't be scared. - If you were to make how they have boner chocolate. - Yeah. - If you were to make, like, your business Joe boner something? - A boner version of a snack or a drink or something. 'Cause there's like, - Everything is protein now? - I would put it in a dessert. - Ooh, because I feel like if you-- - Like hide it in like a slice of cake, like I'm a dog. - Well, I wouldn't hide it, why am I hiding it? - I don't know, oh, like mix it in with the ingredients. - Yeah, oh, I thought the question you were asking me. - Yes, I am asking that question, I just forgot. - I would put it in dessert because I feel like that's the last thing you eat, like when the meal's over and it's like you had a nice meal, it was a candle at dinner, you kind of like throwing eyes. - Okay, you specified the dish, but like what is the actual item? - Oh, oh, I know what Joey's would be. - Maybe like a nice cream? - Oh, I thought you were gonna go tear a tiramisu. - tiramisu isn't that sexy 'cause you could choke on like cocoa or whatever that is. - By you, you mean you? - Yeah, yeah, I've almost died at restaurants 'cause of tiramisu, I'll get some of that and I'll just like, and then the dust hits my back mama. - Yeah, and it's like the cinnamon challenge. - Yeah, it's bad. - If a restaurant offered, like on the menu, on a dessert menu, it said Afro-DZ Act is her or something. - Yeah. - Would you get in it? - I mean, if it's on a menu, you kind of need to. - I think that if the date was going there? - Yeah. - I'd be like, I feel like you get it. - I feel like even if it's like, you would wanna be presumptuous is what you're meaning. Like if you know the date is like moving in a good state. - Yeah, if like we've been like looking at each other or like rubbing feet and shit, I'd be like you'll get the fucking Afro-DZ Act is over here. - That's the date. - Yeah, it's a fucking ice cream in here. - So let's go crazy. - Yeah, I mean, I don't know. - You need something with spoons though, 'cause spoons are like sexy. - I know it. - I would-- - Forks aren't sexy, or mass-sharp. Spoons are like, you know what I'm saying? (laughing) You know, like a spoon, it's kind of like. - You can do a sexy fork. - Yeah, but I don't like teeth, like errr. Like you bite it. - And they like pull it out? - I don't like that. - Really? - Do you like that? Like they bite forks, I'm kind of like, whoa. - You see them like clean off a spoon fully and you're just like, yeah. - 'Cause it's like lip, it's like, mm-hmm. - I mean, you couldn't lip a fork, too. - You could, you could, you could. - What would you say the ratio is of sexiness for a spoon this way or this way? - If it's, if it's, you know what I mean? - If it's spoon down, like if it's hump up. - That's sex. - It sucks. - I thought that one was sex here. - Oh, like when they-- - Oh, like when they do it and they pull it that way. - Oh, because you don't want them to be like, mm-hmm. - That's what I'm saying. - Yeah, 'cause it's like, that's what I'm saying. - Yeah, no, when you can pull it down, like, like the ratio of spoon sexiness is very high. - I guess that's a great point. I never thought of it that way. But like, you could pull it out that way, too. You're just going against the grain. - It would like catch your lip. It would like, it was like, that's okay. - That's all right. - Yeah, I mean, you know. - If you got to dessert and it's horny time, it doesn't matter what you eat. - I'm telling you right now, what if it's like Cheetos? But the dust is like, boner dust. So after you eat your bag of Cheetos, you're just like, - I will say, it would be strange for you to be the one being like, you know, like-- - Oh, I guess there's no phallic here here. Eat this. - Yeah, eat this. - Take the Cheetos and eat it. - Maybe you were more of you, okay. - Eat it as if you were me. - Wait, wait, wait. Now that's a good question. Do they make lady boner pills? I guess it's just, I don't know. - Like, do they make lady, like, cause guy boner pills? I guess. - Cause he had boner. - It gives you a boner, but like, do they make like, lady boner pills? - You go, you go, lady boner pills. One day, we're gonna stump you. - Is it just like compliments or something? (all laughing) - It's being in time. - Is it just being nice? - Being not a piece of shit. It's a fortune being a fucking like, just like thinking like about someone's feeling. - I think it might be listening or something. - Yeah, guys get sealas and fucking Viagra and women get, just like, it seems like you did it. (all laughing) - Yeah, yeah. - Just chemicals to boost libido. - Is there like a popular one? - V-Y-L-E-E-S-I. - V-L-Y. - V, V-Lessie? - Blessie. - Oh, I think I've like heard of that before. But it's not very, yeah, I guess it's just dude. Well, how we considered the horny race, the horny gender, but we need bills. If you would ask me at like 15, like, this conversation would blow my mind. I'd be like, what? - I swear to God, I just thought, I just thought of this. When you just said that, if I could ask myself at 15, if at any point we get to a place in the world where we can actually, we have the technology to go back in time, and ask our younger selves anything, that would be the greatest episode of a podcast ever. - I would be astounded. If we can take the 15 year old versions of ourselves, edit it. - Oh, yeah. (laughing) - But just ask them questions and like, it would probably be the dumbest thing. All I pray, we would undo so much that the world has made. - Yeah, all I pray is that if that technology does exist like, it's like, we're getting there. Make it just for podcasting. (laughing) We don't need to make it for anything else. We don't need to have like, LeBron James talk to himself on draft day. - I don't need to know what Abraham Lincoln's voice was like. - Yeah, I don't care about that, okay? So, someone tweeted recently and it was just like, you know Abraham Lincoln's hat went flying at the play that day. (laughing) Why would they say that? (laughing) - But dude, that would be the single greatest episode of a podcast that has ever existed. - Can you imagine being able to ask 15 old Frankie, like, what's, who's the coolest guy in the world? Like, you probably would say like, something crazy. - I mean, yeah, I would, I would, (laughing) who was popular when we were in 15 in 2007. - You'd probably say like, germane to purrier, some shit. - Damn, he's still pretty cool. He made it quite the bow-wow. So, so, death me, oh, you. - We did an episode of that. Maybe we should revisit an episode of that for Patreon years ago, where we did like a mice, do you remember that? We did a micepace quiz and you wrote what you thought my 15 year old answer would be. - Oh right, yeah. - I wrote what yours was. Remember Poe Delica? - Poe Delica. - Poe Delica. - No, Joey, you were very like minimize maxing back then. - What do you mean? - You'd be like, the answer would be like, what's a big turn on for you? And you'd just write like, - I was trying to be mysterious. - It'd be mysterious and shit like that. Where I'd just be like, "Titch." - Well, I would also, I feel like I would like, I would also like always have some girl that I was thinking about. I'd be like, I'm gonna make sure she knows. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That I'm, of course. - And then I would be like, you know. - Brown hair. - Being able to rip a Superman in Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 with Bucky Lastic. - Wow. - Yeah, that's a pull. - All right, we have to go back to advertised maxing. - Advertise maxing. - And then we're gonna go back to podcast maxing, don't worry. But we do have HelloFresh. HelloFresh is great, okay. It makes cooking effortless, so you can always look forward to a homemade meal. With HelloFresh, no two meals will be the same. All right, this is a great way to get into cooking. Also, if you're not really into cooking, this is a great way to start because they're gonna help you with all these recipes, okay. 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OK, so again, that is HelloFresh.com/Basement10FM for those 10 free meals, and the Nutri-Bullet Ultra Plus 2-in-1 Cop-Pak Kitchen system. Crazy, on the third box. So yeah, HelloFresh.com/Basement10FM. And lastly here, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Online therapy, you can talk to a therapist in a short amount of time. The onboarding is around 48 hours. You can find a therapist for you to make it very easy that if you don't vibe with the first person that you're talking to, you can just switch, get to the next person. It's a very important part. You need-- in order to do therapy, efficiently, in my opinion, you need to have someone that you kind of vibe with kind of understands you, which is kind of like on your same way of the way. So it's a very important thing. And I don't think it's just for people that have something traumatic going on in their lives or anything like that. It's just like going to the gym for your brain. And it really helps you understand yourself more. And I think that everyone should be in therapy. I think it's very helpful. So if you want to get started with BetterHelp, you can sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/baseminyard. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com/baseminyard. So yeah, go check it out. BetterHelp.com/baseminyard, all right? - There would be maxing. - Therapy maxing. - That would be therapy maxing. - Yes, we're healing. - Heal maxing. - Yeah. - This is gonna stop. - Yeah. - I apologize. I'm becoming, I'm the issue here. (laughing) - I'm fully aware of that, too. That I'm being the issue. (laughing) - I'm sorry. - Oh, okay. What was I gonna say? Oh, also you brought this up beforehand, but the giant Costco chocolate bunny. - Dude, how much is it away? - 10 pounds. - And it's like hollow, which I'll be honest. My first thought is I wanna break it. - Yeah, you gotta break it. - But like, I wanna like drop an elbow on it. - Does it have like one of those eyes? Like the eyes, you can. - I think it does. It has like one of the ears is down. So it's like, oh, it's kind of, it's like got a little personality, but it's like 140 beans, dude. - $140? I guess 10 pounds of chocolate, that's insane. - How much of that do you think realistically you could get through? - In a day? - Yeah. You could probably do two pounds. - Yeah. - I think so? - It really depends. Like, yeah. - Is it milk chocolate? - If it's milk chocolate, I could do, I could do some damage. - Oh my God, if it's dark chocolate, I wouldn't even bite it. - Yeah. - I hate dark chocolate. - It's two, it's two, like, I like things that are bitter. That's too bitter for me. - I don't like it at all, man. It's just not for me. This is the thing. That's 10 pounds. - What? - Why does it come with an egg? - No, this is like a show reference, 'cause there's no other way to show. - That's big, dude. - That's chocolate bunny maxing. There's no other way to show reference. You need something, so this is the size of it. - I'll tell you this. - That better be good chocolate, 'cause if it's garbage chocolate, that's such a waste and I'll be so pissed. - It does look milk. - Also, I will say this, too. Not doing America any favors by making this. We look as gluttonous as ever. - Do we know how many calories this is? - 10 pounds of chocolate. I'm gonna assume the whole thing, type in the Costco thing, like, exactly. - They should have it, I assume. - Yeah, I'm sure they have the nutrition facts somewhere. - It made me type in a zip code and some shit, so I just went straight raw. Okay, I have the details. - Can we guess? - Yes, go for it. - I'm going to say, I wouldn't even have a guess. - It's a whole thing. Well, is it broken down by serving? - I do have servings. - And how many servings are in a billion, I don't know, 10 pounds of chocolate? - Do you want the answer? - I'm gonna say it's broken up into about a cup. - Are serving as a cup? - Are we using an announces? - It would be grams, right? - Grams, yeah. - Okay, so I'm gonna say-- - What are you guessing right now? - Is this helping you? - No. (laughing) - How many calories are in the whole thing? - Yeah. - This 10 pound chocolate Costco bunny. - 2600. - That is insanely low. - 2600? - 2600? - Like a KitKat has like 400. - Like the big KitKats are like 400. - I'm fucking sorry. - We're 10 pounds of chocolate. - Jesus Christ, why do you have to fucking, I mean, it'll max me. - Yep. (laughing) - I'm gonna say like 12,000. - Okay. - There's no way it's 12,000. - Do you want, that's too much? - I think that's a way too much. - Do you want it to change your answer? - Uh, I'll tell you you're a little-- - 10 pounds of chocolate. - All right, I'll know, I'll change it one more time. - All right, one more time. - I'm gonna say 4,200. - I'm, when I say 12? - Yeah, I'll say 12. - Total calories, 151 servings, 22,650 calories. - 22? - Yo, that'll kill somebody if you have the whole thing. - Just two days, 10 pounds of chocolate a week. - Yeah, that's insane. - 22,000 calories. - Brother, that's more than I have in a week. (laughing) - Dude, are you kidding? That's fucking crazy. - What's 2000 times seven, 14,000? - Yeah. - Brother, that's almost two weeks of food. - Well, we just not-- - Are you eating 2000 calories a day? - You try, right? - That's kinda low. - I mean, you try to not have more than that. - Scared me. - Yeah, it's somewhere around there, but, dude, 22,000. (laughing) - Bro, even though he's at 2600. - 2600 has been at-- - Yeah, forgive me, I don't know. - I'm not, I've been in Jerry's, crushing that at 12,000, that's all 100, I mean. Dude, that is, that's crazy. That's almost like, the amount of sugar. - Sad, do you know what sugar it is? - I don't know, I don't have it all that. I don't have the breakdown like that. - 150 servings, so then what's a serving? 100 grams? - No. - 150 calories per 30 grams serving? - 150 grams, dude. - I mean, I don't even know how much that is to be honest. - I don't know, like, if I'm being, I would just nod on this thing's ear, but I don't understand how someone would get this, like, first serious, because like, this would have to be for a classroom of children. - Bro, let's get one. - Crack it open right here, let's see a little bit on it. - I actually, I think I have the total sugars here now. I think it's 2900 grams. - Yo, that is fucking unbelievable. - This is kind of like, - It's over six pounds of sugar across the whole, across the whole bunny. - I understand. - It's 10 pounds and six pounds of it is just sugar. - Well, it's, yeah, I mean, it's chocolate. - Dude, I understand things being released for like novelty items. - Yeah. - This is fucking crazy. - This is up there with a supercharged lemonade that killed two from Panera. Do you remember that? - Yeah. - I had like 300 milligrams of caffeine in it. - Are you sure it's hollow? - I believe it is. - 'Cause it says the novelty factor of this thing is it's often requires a hammer to break it apart. - Well, yeah, the shell could be so fucking intense. - Oh, you think so? - Yeah, we need to get one. - Can you buy one? - Brother, if that thing was solid, it would be 40 pounds. - I'll try to get one. - Chocolate is dense. - I mean. - Order it to the studio right now. - I mean, is it that much, I mean, of course it's bigger, but is it that much bigger than like a chocolate bunny? - Dude. - Like that you would just get? - I got it. You know what you use this for? I'm afraid to hear what you're gonna say. You go in the sauna and you lay down a blanket and you go in with that and you put it down and then you and your partner just roll around and just get fucking collar and chocolate. - You're a disgusting freak, okay? What the hell are you talking about? How is that the thing that pops into your head? Take this thing into a sauna, let it melt on a towel and roll around in the towel chocolate? - Because like, I'd get in a chocolate bath though. - That's basically what this is. - Yeah, I'm going down like a gust of glue, dude. If you got a river, I'm fucking drinking out of that place. Just like imagine like you're outside in like a hundred degree weather and then you're just like, you like hug in the, it's in between you and your little fucking dudes. - I'll be honest with you, that sounds disgusting. - Why? - Because a hundred degrees, I'm like sweating, I'm gross and now I'm, there's chocolate involved and I'm sticky and then you just go at it. Yeah, but just like sticky, I don't like sticky. - Chocolate's not sticky in a hundred degrees. I'm sure you'll stick. I mean, it's like not sticky, it's just kind of like thick. - Yeah. - This is insane. - That is so, so much. - I'm into it though. - I am a little disappointed. - I think I can get it. - Get it. - Do you have a Costco membership? - I don't think you need one if you're going online. - What is, I mean, you think that'll stop me. - Bro, yeah, I think that fucking-- - The rules, I would hope so. - Bro, it's, it's got a nerd over here, I got a nerd. - Yeah, but if you ever try to go into a Costco, and the fucking Dolores at the front is, you'll kick your fucking head. - Yeah, they'll beat the brakes off you. If you try to go into that-- - I've tried to go with my mom. And she's like, "Where's your, I was like, I'm with her." - Yeah, I was like, "Don't get you." - This is kind of like, I don't know why, but this is sad to me. - This? - Yeah, like there are people that can't afford groceries, and it's just like, have this novelty 10 pound chocolate bonding, dude. - It's $150 also. - That'll be fine. - Anyone who's buying this to eat it is nuts. - Well, instead of buying a bunch for a party, right? Like a bunch of kids, you can just buy this big one. - Yeah, brother, how 150 servings. What do you have at a party with 150 kids? - Yeah, what is this? - A fucking assembly. - Yeah, but once you're having trouble, you don't actually, it's like, here's what-- - Okay, but still, you don't do that. - Okay, but still, so what? Each person's having double the amount. 75 people at this party? Also, children don't like to share. I'm gonna also take this bunny. Oh, cute bunny, I'm a slammer with a hammer. - Yeah, it's terrible. - That wouldn't be cool when you were younger? - Well, I was younger, right now it would be cool to break this thing apart. - Oh, I'm looking forward to breaking one if we can get one. - Should I get two? - Get two, and let's have a challenge who can punch through it. - It's not a good idea. - I don't want (laughs) to just look at the camera and go, "That's not a good idea." (laughs) - I'm afraid for Frankie to have his own because of the ideas that he had already. I mean, for- him in his apartment. He's going to come in and be like, if I come back, my chest broke out. If I come out, yeah, now I've like broken out in like lives or like some form of like rash. Beck and I rolled around with this bitch. My pores are stuffed with chocolate. I can see, this is crazy. This is like, this is what everyone believes America is. Where it's just like, everything's bigger and it's all chocolate and it's sugar too. I can't, I can't imagine. And also, who's selling this? Like, I know it's Costco. Who's the, who's the seller? And how much is this cost to make? I see. Like, what's the markup on this bitch? I mean, actually, I don't know why I grabbed my phone. I can't, how can I find that? Like, how much you think this is to make? What's the cost? Where's it land? Yeah, landed. What's the landing price? What's the landed price? I don't know, it's probably like fucking five bucks. That's bananas, dude. Yeah, that's a lot. Now, if this was stuffed with marshmallow, or if there was a bunch of jelly beans in there, then it would be 40 pounds because you'd put 30 pounds of jelly beans in this thing. I cannot wait to eat jelly beans on the weekend. Yeah, you've spoken about your love for the starburst jelly beans. I don't really care much. Those are great. Then I am ready to be a little prostitute for peeps because I love my peeps. Oh, boy. I like this time of the year. I like drop hints to Becca just to remind her to get me peeps because my every year growing up my mom would get me peeps for like every major holiday. Uh-huh. So what? What? Like, you get peeps for Christmas? Yeah. Like, snowman, Christmas tree, 4th of July peeps. I mean, that was not like a peep holiday. Like, it would be like Halloween Thanksgiving. No. But like, not every major holiday. Fucking excuse me. I didn't even know they fucking did this outside of Easter. Easter, Halloween, Halloween peeps. They're like little ghosts or pumpkins or Frankenstein. I can't believe you like that. Dude, they're so. I don't like peeps. Oh, I'm so. And I've gone on record and said the best like, you know, Oreo makes these like cool little flavors. They'll do like cinnamon or, you know, that is such an insane. It's such a good one. But they had it one year for Easter. They had a peeps flavor and it was unfuckin believer. What was it? It was just like peeps fluff in between like the peep fluff cream in between the vanilla cookies. Oh, what? Like a, oh, like an Oreo. Oh, that sounds gross. Oh, yeah. Do you have a fluff in your house right now? No. I haven't had that in a while. We used to, like, miles. You've had fluff in your house. I feel like my house used to make him fluff or noter sandwiches. Yeah, yeah. Those are good. Dude, I love fluff. Yeah, fluff is what is it? It's just like marshmallow. Like you can make it with your hands. I, I, we had fluff for a very short period of time growing up. But I used to get in there whenever no one was looking like I would literally just stick my fingers in it. I was discussing. I used to, uh, there was like in middle school, there was a girl that like we were like talking online and she said she liked fluff. So I went in with a tub of it one day and I like looked at her and I fluff matched her. Girls, did you like fluff and you brought a tub of it? And I didn't, I just didn't talk to her. I was just like, I fluff mocked her. Yeah, you you mocked her. I mocked her. I mocked with fluff. Did it work? No. No, no, no, no, do all that. Wait, let's back up before I gave you that answer. Yeah. What do you think? No. Yeah. What grade? Uh, almost like seventh or eighth. Oh, okay. Young. Yeah. A real dumb ripe dumb age. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, we're all doing crazy stuff back then. Yeah. I would fly. I was, I was you say I was fluffing it. I wasn't doing that. Um, you like fluff? No. Like, yeah. Fluff needs to make it. Those are opposite answers. I, I, I never, like not enough to buy it or have it. I never really had fluff needs to make a comeback. I'd like to see like it is very old school. Yeah. Like, it's like a very. How everything is like everything is protein, everything is still pickle, everything was like buffalo chicken. Like, let's bring fluff back in. Just marshmallow. Just like different, like fast food chains making like fluff seasonal sandwiches or something. Like fluff on a burger doesn't sound that bad. I mean, dude, no, I mean, that's a little crazy. Really? Yeah. It's a burger. I don't think so. I think it could be fun. There was at one point I wanted to make a dessert company where it was called spaghetti and sweet balls. And it would be like dessert pasta. Love that. You could do it. dessert pasta. Like the noodles would be like spaghetti noodles, but maybe cookie or some broth is sauce syrup. Thank you. Done. Chocolate syrup. People do that with people do that with like pancakes. They'll put pancake batter in like a squeeze bottle and they'll make pancakes spaghetti. Yeah, it wouldn't actually be pasta. Like, you know, it'd be some. I don't want to make it myself. What the fast food companies make it? And then we'll buy it. There's a place. I used to go to my cousin's house for a wallcar weekend. And there's a place they were ordered pizzas from, but they also did dessert pies. Bro. Yeah, everyone has had a banana strawberry Nutella. Oh, this would have like ridiculous shit on it. Like, I mean, obviously it would be like an Nutella pie or whatever, but then there would also just be like, dude, I don't know. There's like fucking chocolate. There's brownie and like in the whole. It's like a pizza, but it's like brownie and fucking marshmallow and like, I'm like, yeah, like s'mores. Now just imagine how good it would be if like a fast food company got it. Why do you love fast food? Just say it. Like, it's easier when they make it. Oh my god. You know what? You know, we made this idea better. A corporation. They've never just like in the trusted hands of fucking Wendy's or something. Oh, trucks that everyone does. Not I. Why not? I don't know. They are, they're, they're Wendy's. Not necessarily Wendy's. I'm not talking about. I bet you'll love it when these nuts go drag across your face. Yeah, we do have to do something though, because yeah, the thing is you laugh like a wicked wick. He does. And also, let me give me my space one second. Give it to me. I've earned this. Let me hit him with a got him, please. Got him. First of all, can we, the only problem that I have with him doing that is that you, you stumbled through the got him. I still got you though. Wendy's, you can love Wendy fucking Wendy's on your balls in your face. I get too excited. I start to see stars a little. What did you say? I bet you'll love them when Wendy's nuts drag across your face. As soon as he said, Wendy, all right. As soon as you, how long do you have that geared up? I mean, the first time I brought up fast food in this episode was 20 minutes ago. I was trying to bring it right back around to it. Give me some credit. Give me some. Right before this episode, I said to Joey, I was like, are we still doing the bottoms? Because I, it'll reach a point where Joey's just like, all right, I know. And I think I might have just got us there. No, I mean, you know, he's saying you just be more classy with it. Not classy. He gets so excited. He's like, you're gonna win your Wendy on your Wendy's on your face and your balls are out. You fucking idiot got him. You got to understand it. It's so, it's so like, I got you. Like, it's perfect. I set it up and it worked. I get very excited about it. That's like four bottoms you got on them. You, uh, you worked on that one for a while too, so. And I found a nice natural way to work it in too. Natural. I mean, give me some money because now I feel like you always like, oh, I know all of them when they're coming. We're gonna, I'm gonna get you. Now I'm not even going after him. I don't, I don't even think you, you won't be able to, because he's a little sneaky boy over there. He's a little sneaky boy. Sneaky boy. You'll be like, Hey, and how's your day? And he go, oh, what is that? What was my day in your mouth? Yeah. My day and your nuts. You could try. You, you were the coolest kid at lunch. I know you are. We, we get it. No one's going to got you. No one's going to be in Mario Kart. You win. No, my friend had the fruity pebble bar snack. That's a great snack. It was, it was a coolest one. Remember Kudos bars? Those were cool. Oh, what was, they were the ones they were like granola with chocolate underneath and on the top. It would be like M&Ms. I do. I do. Yeah. Cosmic brownie. That's basically plastic, though. I love cosmic brownies. But if I had one, it's not a brownie. Do you know it's gum? Do you remember the pink snowballs? Yeah. Never ate that. I wasn't big into those. I did like twinkies. Yeah. Did like twinkies. I just twitch. I thought about twinkies. I like twinkies. Now, but cosmic brownies, I get why you were cool for having them. But like, if I'm buying a box of 10 and they're 30 cents each, something in this is not real. Also little bites. Well, we still get little bites for the kids. Yeah. Yeah. Mini muffins. They call them. Yeah. Yeah. Ruby loves her mini muffins. My house was not a little bites house. But you guys made a lot of snacks. You had a lot of drinks. We would do I remember a lot of drinks You always had like breakfast shakes and you had what you had juice. I Mean we had juice But what do you mean breakfast shakes the breakfast shakes that Keith would have all the time, dude Like an insure thing. I don't know what the brand was, but like it was like a packet of breakfast shakes and He would have them all the time. I think one time there was insure in my house. I believe it was for my grandma, but we used to crush them You know, have you ever had an insure? No, what is it? It's like a it's like a It's like a supplement drink, but it's like yeah, there's like a meal right in my meal It's like a kind of a meal replacement, but it's but it's small and it's like they're like chocolate milk But they have like nutrients in them or whatever like vitamins and shit and like protein on it What's the one what's the the one that like it's like a juice though? The eight no no no no it's like pd light. Is it like pd light? No no no because that's just for like hydration That's just like electrolytes and okay vitamin B or some shit I don't know, but no this was more of like if you're deficient in Certain things then you like drinking. I know what they look like they look like the little cans Yeah, they look like a little bottles like this and it's like a cat food kind of like cat nip looks like cat nip No, I don't know what cat nip looks like. I thought they come in bottles and like you crack the top off Yeah, there was something like that, but there was something that was like kind of like cans, too I don't know, but we had snack. We had we were we had a lot of fruit roll ups You always had you always had ice pops and chocolate in your freezer. We always had ice pops always had chocolate in your freezer Ice pops were big in my house brother the first I remember the first time in college When I realized like I can buy those ice pops myself. I had a freezer full of Fucking 400 of those ice pops. I really do appreciate how I took a picture of it because I was so impressed I'm impressed with myself here. I really appreciate how you can only buy those in the hundreds Like it's like a box of a hundred because one of them is Gone in 40 seconds once the last time you had one Don't even know They're not like they're not great for you, but like it's like each one is like five grams of sugar. It's not as bad as you would think Wouldn't even stop me. I Like there's nothing like a well-placed ice pop those flavor ice is the one. Yeah flavor ice name your favorite colors from least to most I gotta see I go back and forth with shit. I got a hot take for you. I feel like you're hot take. I'm gonna agree with okay But I like like the greens very good I like the green, but I also like I like because it's lime the pink is great the pink is the best one the pink is the best one Pink is the app so I go back and forth from pink but low key. I fuck it the grape All of them are good. I love my top two are pink and orange Orange was like my favorite Like ice pop flavor as a kid really and then I bid into a cream sickle once and I was forever ruined Cream skills are tough dude cream sickle suck. So bad. I don't know where We've come to as a society that people are just like you know what's gonna make this ice cream better a layer of orange Yeah, get the fuck out of here, you know, it's crazy one time. I went to the polka nose with Greg And we stopped at not the weird part. It wasn't just us No, we went to the polka nose as just like a summer vacation thing and We went to the supermarket there and we were like buying stuff for the house and they had ice pops But they were alcoholic dude each ice pop was eight percent alcohol. Yeah, dude. I've had what I've had those they'll getcha Yeah, I had them at the lake of course because they're all out of all except there. I mean when I was with you with the The 80s theme top of the hill party when we had the ice pops. That's when they had them. Yes, and we were quite inebriated Good times. I was smoking a cigar. That was probably the last guard. I've ever had you were and you had I'll never forget It's the video of you dancing, but you're just stepping forward and back with a cigar in your mouth To like we're in 70s attire Which I don't think you were wearing 70s attire. You just had a band-on. I had a wig on Did you have a wig? I did have a wig on and I had a headband and I had a tie-dye t-shirt Oh, yes, I remember the t-shirt now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and you were just you were smoking a cigar living your best life Yeah, that was probably my last cigar. It was also probably my last ice pop It's got some ice option. Yeah, that's that's depressing. It's got some ice pops in here We can't have your mouth with a nice pop in front of that mic. There's no way I don't mean for when we're recording brother. I would like a nice pop period. Oh, yeah We just have I gotcha. Yeah, I gotcha not the alcoholic ones you free because I know he's gonna come in and should be like you like those Those are 800% alcohol Does that for you Well, I guess that's all we have for today. No ice pops But yeah, thank you guys so much for watching Frank. Where can they find you the Frank Alvarez everywhere go check out patreon patreon.com/thibasebignare Thank you guys to for all the continued support that you guys are supporting maxing big time big time What in one of the suggestion buttons is lemon Probably got a probably got a berry there. Yeah, I'm probably gonna bury that. Oh shit. It ain't working I find you find me at ant prisco on Instagram. All right Follow me at Joe Santa. I'll go follow you at the basement yard, and that is all see you guys next time Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting. 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